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Chapter Text

It was always going to happen

Atsushi had known that from the moment he stumbled back into Yokohama. He’d let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding as he crossed into the city limits. It felt a lot longer than four years since he’d last been here. He knew he should’ve felt something about it.

But the impending very possible death by starvation had taken most of his attention. It was a good thing though since it had meant Atsushi was to preoccupied to do anything too stupid. Like blurting the name of the man he’d saved by the river. Before the man had even managed to introduce himself.

That would’ve been weird for many reasons. For a complete stranger to know who you are. But add in that man being Demon Prodigy Osamu Dazai...Yeah that would’ve been really bad for Atsushi.

How was it that he had saved the one person in the city Atsushi knew to avoid?
Although luck seemed to be on Atsushi’s side, for once. Dazai wasn’t in the Port Mafia and hadn’t been for years. He was working at the Armed Detective Agency.

What had happened in all those years to change him? ‘Could it have been…No.’ Atsushi had dismissed that thought entirely. He couldn’t hold onto hope like that nor would he pry into Dazai’s past. Dazai wanted nothing to do with the Port Mafia, he’d made that clear enough by hiding that part of him.

Atsushi would be lying if he said guessing Dazai’s past employment game didn’t make his heart sink. It was a good thing Dazai was too distracted by his bravado of winning that he didn’t realise Atsushi’s guesses weren’t true guesses at all.
The whole thing with Atsushi’s bounty had been scary. He would forever be had been grateful that Dazai got captured by the Port Mafia to obtain the details on it.

It wasn’t great but the surprise on Dazai’s face after the fact when he realised Atsushi had known he was said beast all along had been worth it.

“…You agreed to be bait?” Dazai had asked eyes wide in shock that he was failing to hide. Atsushi had just shrugged and simply said “you said I’d get paid for it.” Really Atsushi had just gone for Plan B, deny everything and somehow gotten lucky. Dazai had stared at Atsushi for so long he got nervous.  Before laughing, shaking his head fondly and remarking “my my you are full of surprises aren’t you Atsushi?”

Oh he don’t know the half of it.

It wasn’t all smooth sailing though. While Dazai was uncharacteristically unaware of the secret Atsushi held, some were. Atsushi knew when Ranpo loudly said he needed more sweets after their case, despite having a full bag of sweets, that he’d been found out.

Dazai had happily offered to get some holding up what Atsushi swore was Kunikida’s wallet. Once he was out of earshot Ranpo fixed Atsushi with a piercing gaze. There was no point of lying so Atsushi stood still and let the detective deduce what he held close to his heart.
“I won’t tell him” Atsushi looked at him in shock and though it was only slightly, Ranpo’s gaze softened.

“He deserves to know. You should tell him. He won’t think any less of you. But I won’t interfere.” Atsushi was surprised, he’d never seen Ranpo be so kind. His reassurance definitely made Atsushi feel better. “I will” Ranpo nodded, satisfied with his answer. “By the way when did you-“ “You hesitated filling out your name.” Replied Ranpo, already knowing what Atsushi was going to ask. Atsushi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

Yeah that’s do it.

“Thanks Ranpo. I didn’t think you’d be so nice about it” admitted Atsushi. Ranpo went quiet for a few moments before simply saying “the agency is my family. I protect my family. And that includes you.” Atsushi thought of those words for the rest of the evening. A warm cosy feeling in his chest at the thought of being part of a family…again. He hoped he didn’t mess it up this time. Just like he messed everything up.

Even with that reassurance though

Atsushi wasn’t in any rush to tell Dazai. Things were hectic enough with Kyouka and the Port Mafia and the Guild without dropping that bomb shell. The longer things went unshared the more Atsushi dreaded telling Dazai anything. It wasn’t something one could just say. Beyond what Dazai’s reaction might be Atsushi was afraid to ask for the truth.

The Headmaster fed him a story of what happened. Atsushi had no way of knowing it was the truth. And unfortunately for him the only one who would know was Dazai. Would he even tell Atsushi? Did Atsushi even deserve to know? Even so, the guilt of keeping such a secret from someone who’d been nothing but kind to him was starting to wear Atsushi down.

Dazai might not know what was going on. But it was clear he knew something was up. He was kind and warm in his now regular check ups on Atsushi. Seemingly determined to give him space while also making sure he wasn’t alone.

It did mean Atsushi couldn’t go out and investigate like he’d planned. But he couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed. Atsushi cherished any company and Dazai’s company was pretty great. The two of them could talk for hours or just sit in a peaceful silence. Comfortable in each others space that simply existing was enough.

It was fitting then that it was on such an occasion when the truth came out.

Atsushi had been looking around Yokohama for quite a while trying to find Dazai. Kunikida was more than a little displeased when he realised his partner was absent. There was an important meeting to be had later on, and plenty of documents and cases to review.

It had fallen to Atsushi to search for Dazai, somehow it always was. He wandered around Dazai’s usual spots. But he was nowhere in sight and honestly Atsushi was worried he’d been captured again.

They really should put a tracker on him.

Atsushi sighed, taking a seat on a nearby bench. It didn’t help that he himself was pretty lost at this point. He felt so hopeless. It was such a simple task and yet he was failing it so terribly. He’d always been like this it’s why no one had ever expected anything of him.

“You’re not hopeless.”

Atsushi’s eyes widened at the memory. For a moment he wasn’t sitting on a bench but on the floor of an old house. The kitchen to be specific. How he’d tried to make breakfast, or had it been dinner? Yes it had been dinner. Because he was coming home late. And Atsushi wanted to surprise him but he made a mess of things.

Just like he always did.

He expected pain. But the hand on his shoulder was feather light. He didn’t yell nor did he seem angry at all.

“You tried, Atsushi. It didn’t go how you planned but that’s okay.” They’d cleaned the rest of the kitchen together and ordered take away that night. The next time Atsushi made them dinner, with help this time.“Whenever you get stuck ask someone. They’ll always be someone who’ll be willing to lend you a hand. You’re not alone.”

Atsushi nodded though there was no one there. He took out his phone and after a moments hesitation, he typed out a message. The response came back quicker than he expected. ‘Took you long enough. Keep walking ahead, take a left at the crossing and you’re there.’

He smiled, making a mental note to get Ranpo some sweets in the way back. Atsushi got up and carried on with new resolve. He could do this. He would find Dazai and bring him back to the Agency.

To say Atsushi was surprised Dazai was at a graveyard of all places was an understatement. He’d never known Dazai to have anyone he’d missed. Though he hadn’t even known Yokohama had a graveyard to begin with. Atsushi trekked on ahead until he found a familiar figure resting with his back on a grave.

“Atsushi Nakajima” greeted Dazai without looking up. Atsushi nodded though Dazai couldn’t see him. It would never not feel weird hearing that name being said to him. “Did Kunikida send you here?” Asked Dazai as if he didn’t know already. “Yeah, there’s a meeting” replied Atsushi. Dazai hummed “do you know who’s grave this is? He’s an old friend of mine.”

Atsushi glanced over at the grave and froze. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as time stopped around him. Atsushi didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Because of course this was the first grave he’d find in here.

“Say hello to Odasaku, Atsushi.”

Because that’s who this was, wasn’t it? It wasn’t a trick or some kind of illusion. It was really here wasn’t it? Atsushi knelt down to trace the words engraved.

S. Oda

It was real.

After four years Atsushi had found him. He didn’t know what face he was making. Nor did he realise he was crying. And that the sound had caught Dazai’s attention. He didn’t realise Dazai was now facing him in concern.

Atsushi could only face the grave and imagine a man with kind blue eyes and red hair. Of late night dinners and ruined dinners that were perfect. He wrapped his arms around his knees and tried to smile.

“Hi dad…long time no see.”

The sharp gasp beside him finally bought Atsushi back to the present. His own words rang in his ears and he clasped a hand over his mouth. But it was too late.
There was no way to take back what he’d said. “I’m sorry!” Cried Atsushi, taking his hand away. Words started spilling from his lips all the while he was unable to even look at Dazai.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t. I knew I should’ve told you but I didn’t know how. You were always so secretive about the Port Mafia I didn’t think you’d even remember him much less care-“

A hand rested on Atsushi’s shoulder and he fell silent. A soft featherlight touch that made him finally look at Dazai. Dazai who looked so so brittle in a way Atsushi never thought he could look.

A vulnerability shone in his eyes, searching for something he’d never known to look for.

“I could lose all my memories and I would never forget Odasaku.” Said Dazai, his voice heavy with emotion. That old nickname holding nothing but respect and affection. “He was…He is my dearest friend.” Said Dazai with the softest of smiles. “He thought of you the same.” Said Atsushi softly.

“Oh?” Asked Dazai quietly though he had to have already known. “A dear friend with so much power despite his age. He’s bored of this world and longing for death. I hope one day you can meet him.” Recalled Atsushi like it had been yesterday.

Dazai chuckled, warm and fond and sad. He leaned over into the grave as he did so. “I met Atsushi, Odasaku. I think I told you that before. You’d be proud, he managed to keep a secret even I couldn’t deduce.” Atsushi thought he was going to cry again at that. “You’re not mad?” He asked timidly and Dazai shook his head without any hesitation.

“I’m sure you had your reasons. I can’t imagine it’d been easy on you hiding this.” He went quiet for a moment before adding “though, if you wouldn’t mind I would like to hear you story.” Even now when he wanted to know so badly Dazai still gave Atsushi a choice.

Atsushi had no doubt that if he declined and said he wasn’t ready that Dazai would accept it. There would be no punishments. No cruel words, no rage or pain. They would head back to the Agency and nothing between them would change.

Maybe it was weird but that’s exactly what made Atsushi smile and nod.

“Sure. But if Kunikida yells at us for being late I’m blaming you.” Dazai grinned widely “deal” he said putting a hand out for Atsushi to shake. He shook his head fondly and did just that. If it was a story then Atsushi should start from the beginning, right?

“My birth parents weren’t good people.” Never in his life had Atsushi seen a smile vanish so quickly. It seems Dazai realised that this was an Atsushi story. Those were rarely so nice. “I won’t get into it but they were cruel. They hurt me a lot and one day they just threw me away.”

He chuckled but there was no humour in it. “Literally, I got shoved in a rubbish bag and left on a street. I don’t think I was supposed to survive.” The coldness in Dazai’s eyes probably should’ve scared Atsushi. But instead he found comfort knowing someone was getting this mad on his behalf.

“At some point a man found me and bought me to an orphanage. It turned out he was the one running the place.” A chill went down Atsushi’s spine just at the thought of the Headmaster.

“He was kind for a while and than he showed his true colours. He wasn’t as bad as my parents though.” Added Atsushi, why he felt the need to defend that man he didn’t know. “Abuse is still abuse” said Dazai somehow managing to sound both soft and firm. “I know, well I know now.” Said Atsushi getting a relieved nod from Dazai. “Years went by and then one day I was chained up outside-“

Atsushi was cut off by a bunch of hushed angry curses. He hadn’t heard such…creative threats in a long time. He was as impressed as he was concerned. “Dazai, are you okay?” Dazai stopped, looking at him in surprise and maybe even amazement. “I think I should be the one asking you that.” Atsushi tilted his head in confusion.

Why would he be upset by that? Sure being chained up wasn’t fun but he’d deserved it for causing trouble….Ohhhh that’s why.

Dazai picked up on that and hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe Kunikida was onto something about getting you a therapist.”
“Wasn’t he talking about how both of us should go to therapy?” Asked Atsushi and Dazai snorted. “That sort of thing isn’t for a lost cause like me.” The self deprecation in his voice was almost palpable.

Atsushi didn’t like that and jabbed him in the shoulder, hard. 

“Ow! Atsushi!” Yelped Dazai theatrically but Atsushi wasn’t letting him escape this. “You. Are. Not. A. Lost. Cause!” He yelled punctuating each word with a jab to the shoulder. All the while Dazai flailed about trying and failing to stop him.
“Okay okay, I yield! I am not a lost cause.” Cried Dazai and at that Atsushi stopped, for now. “You don’t let me talk bad about myself so I won’t let you either. Pity yourself and life becomes an endless nightmare.” Said Atsushi sternly,

Dazai stared at him in surprise before pouting.

“And using my own words against me! You’ve been spending too much time with Kunikida. You’ve become such a mean brute.” Dazai sighed and Atsushi wondered if maybe he’d gone too far. Just as he was about to apologise, Dazai smiled. “Lesson learned, I will try not to talk badly about myself for you.”

Atsushi wasn’t sure if he believed him but decided to take what he could get.
“Do I want to know why you were chained up?” Dazai’s voice was as lighthearted as before. But there was a certain edge to it. Atsushi vaguely recalled being dragged out screaming and crying. All because he’d tried to read a book someone said he’d stole from the library.

Something told him that Dazai would not react well to this knowledge.

“….Anyway I was outside and a man found me.” The look Dazai shot him told Atsushi that conversation wasn’t over. “A man, huh? Was he anything like the last one who found you?” Asked Dazai, although he had a sneaking suspicion that wasn’t the case.

“No he wasn’t.”

Atsushi couldn’t remember how long he’d been out here.

His arms wrapped around his feeble body in an effort to keep him warm. It did nothing against the billowing wind. But it did offer him the slightest bit of comfort.Years of looking out for footsteps, from both children and staff alerted Atsushi to a nearby presence.

These ones though he didn’t recognise. The steps he’d become accustomed to were heavy and loud. Thumping against the floor with enough force to echo across the halls.These were light and soft like one was holding a pen to paper.

A young red haired man came into view.

He wasn’t wearing a staff uniform and was clearly not from around here. Piercing blue eyes scanned the area before resting on Atsushi. Weirdly he didn’t feel threatened by the man.“You shouldn’t be out here in this weather.” Said the man without changing his expression. “It’s going to rain soon.” He added like that explained anything.

Atsushi stared at him in disbelief.

“Aren’t…aren’t you going to ask why I’m chained up?” Asked Atsushi and the man shrugged. “Maybe, could I ask you for some directions first?”

Atsushi jumped in surprise when Dazai burst out laughing.

”Oh Odasuku” gasped Dazai, trying and failing to stop his laughter. “I can picture it so clearly.” Because really only Oda Sakunosuke would see a bound child and have that as his initial reaction. Atsushi patiently waited for Dazai to calm down before continuing.“I asked what he was doing out here and said he had to collect a debt some orphanage owed the Port Mafia.”

Dazai’s eyes widened in surprise “wait your orphanage was paying for Port Mafia protection?” Atsushi nodded “something like that. Apparently the Headmaster had connections in the criminal  underground. He was working with them during the last war and made more than a few enemies. At least, that’s all dad could find on them.”

Dazai hummed thoughtfully.

Atsushi could practically see the gears turning in his head. “That would add up. They must be quite powerful enemies then if he was paying for protection. Especially given how your orphanage isn’t in Port Mafia territory.” He shrugged “ah well who knows. So you were outside and Odasuku found you?” Atsushi gave him a look but decided it was best to just continue.

“Well I told him to be careful because the Headmaster was in a bad mood. He asked what I meant, I told him what happened…”

The man, Oda Sakunosuke as he introduced himself didn’t say anything for a moment. But a spark had lit up in his cool blue eyes. He pulled out a pair of bolt cutters (where did he get those?) and in one swift motion cut the chain.

Atsushi stared at him in shock. Hands reaching up to his neck to check that the chain was really gone. “You’re free” said Oda and it was clear he didn’t just mean from the chains. No one was going to check on Atsushi, they both knew that.He could walk, run wherever he pleased.

No one would search for him.

No one would bat an eyelid at the kid they hated vanishing into the night.

“But I can’t in good conscience leave you alone. The choice is yours but, would you like to stay with me? Until you’re old enough to make it on your own?” Despite barely knowing the man at all Atsushi knew it was the right choice to make.He took the offered the hand and a small smile appeared on Oda’s face.

“I waited for him to get the debt paid and then I went back with him. Dad had to carry me most of the way because my legs gave out.” Explained Atsushi somewhat embarrassed by it. “When I got to his flat Dad didn’t have much food stocked up. He let me rest on his sofa and made a meal out of what leftovers he had.”

Atsushi smiled fondly.

“Tea on rice. It was the best meal I’ve ever had.” From then on it became his comfort meal. Every time he had tea on rice it reminded him of that first night. The first time Atsushi ever fell asleep without the ache of hunger. The first time anyone had cared about him.

Dazai smiled softly “ah so that explains it.” No wonder Atsushi had asked for it that day they met. He’d been starving then too and wanted the one thing he had that bought him comfort. A scared homeless boy wandering around what had once been home.

He’d wanted to be reminded of the person who made him feel safe and loved. Dazai thought about the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. Of the photo tucked away in his dorm. It was a feeling he understood well.

“Say Atsushi, did Odasaku speak to the Headmaster about taking you?” Atsushi thought about it before shaking his head. “No, he just had the debt paid and then left with me. Why?” He asked curiously, Dazai grinned. “Oh nothing I just, it seems you were kidnapped.” Atsushi paused, well if you look at it like that.

“Huh…I think you’re right. But if the Headmaster found me doesn’t that mean he kidnapped me too?” It’s not like his parents had ever sent him to the orphanage. Dazai considered this before nodding his head. “Hm, seems like it. My my Atsushi you can never do things half way can you?” Atsushi snorted “apparently not.”

Chapter Text

Dazai’s expression didn’t seem to change and yet Atsushi caught the moment his amusement faded into thoughtfulness.

But what caught him off guard was the rare show of hesitance that flickered across Dazai’s face. He wasn’t sure what to say so Atsushi just nudged his shoulder.

Silently trying to convey that it was okay for him to ask.

A moment passed and then another before “you knew you were the tiger before we found you. Did you know about your ability before Odasaku took you in?”

Atsushi shook his head.

That was one thing he hadn’t been lying about. “But Dad didn’t hide it from me” He added though he was sure Dazai had already guessed that. His mentor nodded anyway as he absorbed his words.“No wonder you were able to act so  believably back when we met. You must have been terrified” said Dazai gently.

Atsushi looked down at his hands remembering how terrified he had been that day.

”It wasn’t just me.” 

When Atsushi woke up he was greeted with darkness.

He didn’t need to look at the time to know it was 5am. It was an annoying trait of his that the orphanage had drilled into his brain over the years. With a grumble and a sigh, Atsushi swung his legs to the side of the bed and wandered down the stairs.

He was extra careful to be as quiet as he could be. Lest he woke Oda who was still asleep on the sofa. The older man had given up his bed easily even when Atsushi told him that he’d be fine on the sofa.

Really anything was better than a cold hard floor.

The bed was nice though.

He’d forgotten how nice it was to sleep in a bed again.

Oda would leave for work at around 6:30am so Atsushi had just enough time to grab some leftovers and heat them up. His stomach grumbled at the thought and he glared at.

Hush.

Oda was draped across the sofa fast asleep. He was tall enough that he practically hung off it, it couldn’t have been comfortable and yet it didn’t seem to bother him.Atsushi did break his sneak routine to hop over and gently put the fallen blanket back on him. The heating wasn’t the best and the weather outside chilly. He hoped that Oda wouldn’t catch a cold sleeping down here.

However just as he was about to head into the kitchen Oda woke up.

Atsushi froze in place like a deer in the headlights as Oda stared up at him. For someone who had been completely knocked out he showed no signs of being tired. Maybe he was like Atsushi in the way he just woke up fully awake.

“Morning” Atsushi internally cursed himself for how awkward he sounded. “Morning” echoed Oda, tossing the blanket aside and getting up. He walked over to the kitchen, paused and turned back to where his ward was still frozen in place.“You want some breakfast?” Atsushi blinked, startled before rushing over to join him.

The left over curry was lovely and the two ate in a comfortable silence.

Weirdly it was Oda who broke it “you sleep alright? You don’t usually come down this early.”That was true, usually Atsushi stayed in bed until Oda came to get him for breakfast. He realised early on his ward was an early riser and for some reason Oda liked eating together with him.

Atsushi knew he was concerned, could see it on his face. But rather than explain that he was just hungry that morning “yeah well I just wanted too today!” he instead snapped.

Oda frowned but didn’t push him on it. Atsushi almost wished he did because he regretted it as soon the words left his mouth. He meekly put his dishes by the sink and hung back as Oda did them. “I shouldn’t be back late today” said Oda explaining that he only had a few jobs today.“You gonna be alright alone today?” Atsushi wanted to say no but once again his temper flared.

He nodded sharply not trusting himself to speak. He watched Oda leave and buried his face in his shaking hands.

What was happening to him?

“When it’s almost the full moon my temper gets short and I get hungrier.” Explained Atsushi “I think it happened before at the orphanage but I was always angry and starving there so I didn’t really notice anything off.”

Dazai frowned because really the more he learned about that dreadful place the harder it got to restrain his own anger.Instead he focused on Atsushi, on Odasuku and pushed his rage back for later. “So that’s why you were so annoyed with me at the river” he said chirpy, to which Atsushi side eyed him.

“Yeah…that’s why.”

He was about to continue when Dazai suddenly jolted upright, eyes wide. Atsushi stared at him and was about to ask if he was alright. Truly he’d never seen Dazai so surprised in his life, and then his mentor  yelled “is that why Kunikida lets you eat snacks at your desk?!”

Atsushi starred at him in disbelief.“Erm…yeah? The President’s ability means I can control when I shift but I still feel the tigers presence strongly every full moon. Hence feeling those same effects, even if they’re not as strong.” He had been just as surprised when Kunikida caught him snacking and paused mid scolding when Ranpo whispered something in his ear.

To Atsushi’s shock Kunikida had simply nodded carefully and told him which reports needed doing.“Huh and here I thought it was because you’re Kunikida’s favourite.” He said it so casually that Atsushi was caught off guard for a moment. “I’m not Kunikida’s favourite?! There’s no way…Wouldn’t it be someone like Ranpo or Yosano or the President?” He spluttered and oh now it was Dazai’s turn to look at him like he was the crazy one.

Which wasn’t fair at all because what Atsushi was saying was completely reasonable thank you very much.

“Atsushi while it’s true that Kunikida cares a great deal about everyone in the Agency he has a particularly soft spot for you.” His mentor said firmly, as if daring Atsushi to argue. “He constantly tells us how far you’ve come. He stresses to no end when you take a case with someone else. And he let you take a nap in the office once.”

He gently patted his mentee on the head “not to mention you’re the only one Kunikida sends to find me. You’re his favourite deal with it.” Atsushi just stared him unable to find the words so he just settled for a quiet “okay.” Dazai smiled reassuringly “so did Odasaku return home to a giant tiger?” He asked not wanting to overwhelm Atsushi with that apparently really well hidden information.

He might have to talk to Kunikida later. Huh imagine that, Dazau giving Kunikida advice on feelings he might actually give the man a heart attack.

A poke to his forehead snapped him out of his wonderful evenings plans.

“Whatever you’re thinking don’t do it.” Really how Atsushi hadn’t realised he was Kunikida’s favourite when they pull the same face and tone out to scold him was something else.Dazai sighed theatrically and threw his hands up in surrender. Atsushi shook his head at his antics “and to answer your question dad came back just in the nick of time.”

Atsushi had spent the rest of the day feeling weird.

He couldn’t really explain what it was but something felt off in a way he didn’t know how to explain. The young boy felt like he was going mad. His colouring pens that Oda had so kindly gifted him were scattered across the table in frustration.

His book too laid beside them untouched.

Try as Atsushi might’ve he just couldn’t sit still. Everything just felt like too much and not enough at the same time. It was all bringing him close to tears.He could practically hear the headmaster taunting him for his ungrateful behaviour. Part of his mind wondered if Oda would punish him later for his behaviour at breakfast.

The older man hadn’t hurt him and Atsushi knew he wouldn’t but such a thing was so foreign to him. Every one no matter how kind or well meaning gave him up eventually.

Would this be what caused Oda to feel the same? To realise that the chained up kid outside should’ve been left there to toy.It certain you didn’t help soothe Atsushi’s nerves that Oda was running very late home. He knew deep down it was never a certainty if Oda came back at the hour he said he did.

A glorified errand boy he may be but he was still part of the Port Mafia. A fact that worried Atsushi more then he liked to admit.

He didn’t sleep until he knew Oda was back home. Though most of the time he’d fall asleep waiting for him. When that happened he’d wake up to Oda carrying him to bed and reassuring him he was back home.There was no sign of him yet and every moment made Atsushi even more uneasy.

His stomach grumbled and he drew his knees up to his chest and hugged them. Atsushi wanted to go home but he was already here. 

It made no sense.

He wished it would just go away.

He wished Oda was here he’d make it okay.

As Atsushi’s thoughts continued to race his eyes caught sight of the moons rays shining through a gap in the curtains. He got up without even thinking why and opened them up. The house was dark for Atsushi  had yet to turn on the lights so the moon shone so big bright and bright above him. It seemed to chase the darkness away and for the first time that day Atsushi felt at peace.

“Kid? Are you wake? I’m back, sorry I got held up because some new henchmen decided to bomb the wrong train station.”

It felt like he was underwater. Oda’s voice sounded so muffled that it barely reached his ears. But even though Atsushi vaguely recognised that someone was calling him.He didn’t move.Not even when the footsteps approached and Oda’s voice went from confused to concerned.

“Kid? Atsushi, Atsushi can you hear me? It’s me, it’s Oda. What are you looking at?”

He couldn’t move.

He couldn’t speak.The boy was still as the other gently shook him, trying to get some kind of reaction out of him. Oda may not have known him for long but he knew something was wrong. Never had he seen Atsushi so still, so transfixed and unmoving. As if he were a puppet being held up by strings alone. He was only slightly comforted when he managed to find the kids pulse.

All of a sudden Atsushi moved. It was erratic, desperate and wild as he fought his way out of Oda’s grasp. His sunset eyes glowed gold and his entire body blue as it began to morph, change, tear itself apart and put it back together. Oda could do nothing but watch in fear as his ward writhed in agony.

It seemed to go on forever while also lasting only a few seconds and where Atsushi stood previously was a massive white tiger.

“I don’t remember what happened after that” said Atsushi quietly. Somewhere during his recollection he’d copied his past self in hugging his knees close to his chest.

Beside him Dazai had taken to gently run a hand through his hair. The gesture was kind and helped ground Atsushi to the here and now. “The day after he told me about abilities. Told me about his own and that it didn’t change anything” explained Atsushi.

He recalled waking up in bed completely drained or all energy. How Oda had been sitting by his beside and the sheer relief in his eyes when his ward awoke. Atsushi wasn’t sure what was said then, just that he’d practically crawled into Oda’s arms sobbing.

For what he didn’t quite know.

To which Oda had simply held him close and reassured him that he was here. Thinking on it now Atsushi recalled how tired the older man had been. How his clothes looked like like he’d fought some kind of bear.

Or tiger.

He hadn’t caught sight of the time but he knew it was late. When he’d finally managed to get back up the downstairs had been tided up.Not because Oda had cared for the mess but because he knew Atsushi would have.“He told me that he managed to lure the tiger into the woods. But I’m not really sure how.” Dazai hummed before gently wrapping his arms around Atsushi and pulling him into a hug.

It was odd because Dazai had never really been much of a hugger, for how touchy and clingy of a person he was.But it seemed he knew Atsushi needed it now Oda wasn’t around to. Atsushi hugged him back and let himself be reassured that for now both of them were safe and sound.