Chapter Text
Link popped his head into Arn’s little study late one evening. “Arn? Can I ask you something? You alone?”
He was taking a long sip from his wine glass as he waved Link in. “What can I do for ya?” Arn put the glass down and dabbed a handkerchief to whisk away the leftover thick red berry-coloured-looking-juice.
Link ignored the metallic scent in the air. Arn was a vampire, he was going to be drinking that stuff. “Aryll has a boyfriend, Dad doesn’t know.”
Arn hummed. “I know. I see the dude floating there half the time.” He shrugged and swished his drink around his cup.
Link blinked. “You can see ghosts?”
“How often are you going to forget I’m dead?” Arn laughed with his full chest. “Of course I see the ghosts in this castle, just like you do. Now what about it?”
Link wasn’t sure what he could add to that. He couldn’t see ghosts all the time . His eyes didn’t work quite the same as when he shifted. The sheikah ghosts seemed to only be visible when he shifted, but he could still smell or sense them as human.
“Aryll is trying to figure out some strange stuff again.” He muttered vaguely.
Arn put the glass down and looked with interest. “Strange stuff, how?”
Might as well just say it. “Aryll wants to fuck her ghost man and have his babies.”
Arn simply stared. Link could see the gears trying to function in his mind, but it seemed to be of no use.
“She… She’s trying to fuck a spectral being?”
Link nodded. He recalled asking her how she was going to attempt such an impossible feat, and she’d answered ‘it’s easy’, and proceeded to go into an hour long explanation that had included magic circles, the fall equinox, suspiciously acquired chalk, some salt, and a few rare herbs she had to go find deep in the Faron woods.
To say the least, it didn’t sound easy but to each their own, he supposed. Apparently she would only have roughly an hour that day, and only on that day, to make it work. He wanted none of the details, but an odd curiosity tugged at his tail.
Aryll is certainly known for her dedication, I’ll give her that.
Arn muttered something incomprehensible before bending into his desk and pulling out a large wine bottle and uncorking it. He poured much of the wine into his goblet and diluted his current drink. “If there’s anyone who’ll figure it out, it’ll be her, I’m sure.” he punctuated his sentence by lifting his cup as though he was giving a cheers then drank the rest in one fell swoop.
I’m sure she’ll figure it out even if we tell her no. Do I even want to think of the complicated logistics in that sort of decision?
“Hey, where’d you get all the wine anyway? I swear, you’re always drinking it.” Link asked. He had numerous bottles lining his shelves, and then some more in his desk, he was sure of it. I swear he said it barely affects him.
“First of all, it’s not always wine.” Arn muttered from behind his chair, lifting his wine glass to show a very dark red liquid—very likely to be life juice. “Why do you ask?” He spun in his chair and nursed his glass with a smile. “You want some?” He offered the cup.
Link put up his hand. “No, no, it’s yours.” he refused. If vampires couldn’t get drunk off wine, what did work? “What gets you really plastered?”
“Oh drunk, right. I haven’t been properly drunk on mortal liquor in years, kid. I usually need to spend a fortune on that charmed shit,” He explained.
Arn had died twenty-two years prior to a vampire attack, and subsequently had gone through complete vampirism. Sure he ate and drank like a madman, but by his own description, he didn’t absorb much of it to begin with.
But charmed liquor ? Link couldn’t say his interest wasn’t piqued. “The charmed stuff?” He asked for more detail.
There was a twinkle in Arn’s eyes. He took one last sip of his probably-blood and moved to his cabinet and pulled out a large clear glass bottle, filled to the brim with a clear, see-through pink liquid that almost seemed to sparkle in the light.
What the hell is that? He was interested in that bottle, even if it wasn’t to get drunk, it was a fascinating liquor.
“This,” Arn brought the bottle over to his desk and cracked the cork off. “Is fairy wine.” He finished with a smile.
“Fairy wine?” Link repeated back in awe. “With real fairies?”
Arn shook his head. “No, it’s regular white wine, but it’s been blessed by the Great Fairies.” He said. “It’s a lot stronger than regular wine, but tastes infinitely sweeter.” Arn passed the bottle to Link to smell. It lacked that distinctive burn most liquors had, but Arn was right. It smelled sweet like berries.
“How much stronger would you say?” Link asked, grabbing a small shot glass.
“If I were you, I wouldn’t even drink that whole shot.” Arn pointed to the shooter. “I’d be sipping that all night.”
Link turned slowly, shock in his eyes. “You’re kidding.”
“I am not. It takes two of those to have me stumbling a bit. Like I said, it’s charmed . It’s not like regular liquor.” Arn poured himself a small shot of the glittery liquor and sipped it. He passed it to Link to have a taste.
Hesitating, Link took a sip from the shot glass and let it sit in his mouth briefly. Fruity like wine, but there was a potent sweetness that stuck in his mouth. When he swallowed it, it lacked the alcoholic burn in his throat and stomach.
Truly a dangerous substance.
Smirking to himself, Arn poured himself another shot and threw it back. “I do hope you don’t have any plans tonight.” He was already pouring himself another shot.
It took about an hour for news to spread that Captain Arn had busted out Fairy Wine.
Something Link learned very fast was that Zelda had no alcohol tolerance. Previously, he’d assumed she drank champagne and wine at all of the Royal Balls, it made sense, what else would help her power through the dreadfully boring conversations?
Nope. He was wrong. So very, very, very wrong.
Something about being very light for her size and an incredibly fast metabolism made for an incredibly potent alcohol absorption into her bloodstream. She’d drunk a glass of the regular wine and not five minutes later, he caught her stumbling out of her chair and pretending it didn’t affect her.
It didn’t take long for Barnabus to show up with his own bottle of liquor, something about fermenting vegetables from the seafloor? The mention of fairy wine threw him into a brief scare and he scooted away fast.
He’s probably got a low tolerance too now that I think of it. Link tried to focus on the potted plant in the corner but the room spun back and forth. I’ve had too much…
Much to Arn’s astonishment, one shot had done nothing to Link. Two made him tipsy and three got him feeling nice and warm, but four…oh four was the magic number.
Link would’ve considered himself around the same point Zelda was, stumbling, but not entirely unfunctional.
King Rhoam was sitting at a far table with a bottle of firewhiskey for himself. Something he pulled out for special occasions since he usually had to do a trek up the volcano to go grab some. He was a bit tipsy, but he’d claimed the fairy wine was too sweet for his liking and he enjoyed feeling the alcoholic burn in his stomach. He was splitting his bottle with three other guards and having a good laugh.
It was awfully rare that the King was home at all, but it was a busy social season at the moment so it was far from surprising to see him here. Arn was seated at his table with an arm around his shoulder.
Now Zelda’s other parent…
“Cass, you cannot use the window as a doorway again.”
“I do what I want!”
He heard a loud thud and a thwump against the floor as a large crimson wing flapped and created a gust.
“Those guards have it coming!” the queen lifted herself back to her feet and stuck her head out the window.
Link locked eyes with his father, who stood next to her. He looked stressed as hell.
“Please don’t dive bomb them again. I don’t trust you not to splat into the ground in this state.”
Link turned back to Zelda. She had her head resting against her arms on the table, and her cheeks flushed heavily. Her wings were fully extended out like limp blankets and she muttered things in her drunken state.
Link reached out and passed his fingers through her hair as an attempt to soothe his drunken mate. Poor thing was too much of a light weight. Her feathers ruffled gently to the touches and she smiled softly.
“Arn, can I have some help?” Link turned to see Arn waving drunkenly before standing and trying to keep himself stabilised.
Link’s father had the queen’s wings in a lock as he tried to restrain the harpy from climbing out of the window.
Arn… Arn did absolutely nothing to help. He stumbled over and just stuck his head out the window and waved to the guards below.
Link was happy that Zelda wasn’t like that when she got tipsy and drunk. His lovely girlfriend was a sleepy drunk and he wouldn’t have changed a damn thing about it.
“Oy Cap! Come have yourself a drink!” one of the other guards raised the bottle of fairy wine to tempt him over.
Once the queen had been wrangled away from the window, he released his hold, dusted off the feathers that clung to his tunic, marched his way over to the table and grabbed the bottle by the neck and threw it back like it was weak tavern ale.
Oh wonderful. If Link remembered well enough, that was now the third time he did that in the last half hour.
“I do hope we don’t get attacked tonight…” Rhoam mumbled as the bottle was smacked back down onto the table.
The captain on duty smiled. “Rest assured, sire, the rest of us are as sober as a church grim,” he said.
“Atta boy, Larrs!” crowed Fredrick.
“You’re in fine form tonight, cousin,” Captain Larrs said with an amused smile on his face.
Fredrick flipped him off. “I’ve changed my mind, you’re an insufferable molter.”
Two of the tipsy guards started snickering while the third fell out of his chair.
Larrs raised an eyebrow. “Molter, eh? I’m never letting you live this down, Freddie,” Larrs replied, his grin widening. Larrs was among one of Link’s werewolf uncles but more distantly like a cousin of sorts.
It didn’t take long for the Fairy wine to vanish from the table.
The Queen was likely too drunk to even use her wings, a feat Link didn’t even know was possible, Arn could barely tell up from down and he’d resorted to simply laying across the ground.
Two guards were slumped against one another in the corner, nursing empty ale tankers—Link couldn’t even suggest where they’d gotten those. Rhoam was watching everything as one of the only tipsy members remaining. He was lounging in a comfy chair watching everything with a smile of satisfaction.
Their designated sober escort home Larrs was guarding the windows to keep them locked and closed. Devious man he was, he’d given the captain another sip of fairy wine while calling it sweet water to add to the chaos.
Zelda had woken up from her drunken state. She was slowly getting closer to being tipsy and she eyed everything with a haze in her eyes.
Link soon dubbed Arn, his father, and the Queen the dumb drunk trio. The three were giggling to each other like school children in the corner of the room. He watched Arn and his father shift out, then shift back into human while the queen clapped and encouraged them to only shift half way.
Is that even possible? The thought of being stuck halfway through a transformation wicked Link so much he physically gagged.
Poof!
Link watched his father poof back into a human, but this time he remained curled on the floor like he was ready to take the longest nap of his life. Arms splayed out in front of him, with his legs curled under like he had forgotten which form he wore.
Larrs looked ready to recount this entire evening in the morning.
“Alright Freddie boy, shift.” Cassandra ordered through hiccups and unbalanced steps. She stepped over Fredrick, who was curled up on the floor as if he’d already shifted. “Think i’s bedtime for you.” she slurred as she attempted to stand, using the wall as a sliding post for help.
“Watch the talons please.” He muttered drunkenly as she stepped on him lightly. “Oww.” He muttered.
“My apologies, friend.” She patted his head and scratched his head. Her wings began to beat and she began to hover off the ground while Fredrick pushed himself off the ground and slowly morphed into a wolf.
What followed was the saddest excuse of a howl any of them had ever heard… It was more akin to an injured whimper.
“ You’re so heavy.” She grunted out and flapped harder, grabbing the rest of him with the second talon. Her face turned red from the effort, she rose up a measly two feet off the ground. “I need to stop feeding you mutton. ”
Another sad whimper.
Link snorted so hard that ale came out of his nose, resulting in a violent coughing session. Zelda leaned her chin on her fist, studying her mother as if she held all the secrets of the universe in her talons.
“Arn, help.” She pleaded with a strained voice.
“O-on it.” He sat up from the floor and, with a puff of smoke, turned into a little bat.
A bat that couldn’t fly straight.
“Grab him or get under.” she told him, flapping her large wings so strongly, it was starting to create a gust in the room.
The bat flew around to the werewolf’s head and latched onto a bit of fur and began flapping furiously, but Zelda didn’t think it was doing much of a difference.
At the entrance to the balcony, Captain Larrs was trying and failing to keep a straight face, his shoulders silently shaking as he listened to the trio while looking out the window.
“Dear, try angling properly.” Rhoam called out from behind his glass of rum.
She nodded and immediately began flapping with the same strength as before, but rather than hover as she was doing before, she went straight up, and up until—
CRACK!
The three came crashing into the floor into a heaping mess; wolf on the bottom, tiny bat in the middle, and Cassandra on top.
Poof!
Arn turned back into himself and immediately groaned. He was still sandwiched between a heavy wing, half of the queen and on a very hard and bony pillow.
This time, a very loud whimper sounded from beneath them.
“A pity the court painter is on vacation with her wife,” chortled Rhoam.
Cassandra lifted a finger towards her husband, prompting him to laugh outright.
“I hope no one has an audience with Her Majesty tomorrow.” Commander Cassian whispered quietly, watching as the three failed to drunkenly untangle themselves.
One of the other guard captains slammed his glass onto the table and raised his hand in an official manner. “I vote we leave them here with a blanket and a pillow. Everyone in accordance, say ‘aye’.”
“Aye!”
“Aye!”
“Aye…” They heard Arn and Cassandra mutter from the pile with a weak raise of the arm.
Then the long fluffy golden-grey tail started sweeping across the floor.
“Right, that's everyone who needed to vote.”
“Dad, y’good?” Link slurred from his seat at the table.
Fredrick wagged his tail twice.
“Um… One for yes, two for no.”
The tail kept wagging.
“Cassandra, let the men breathe,” Rhoam snickered.
Cassandra, with a groan, rolled off of Fredrick and Arn. She groaned even louder and grabbed the nearest decorative pot.
Arn crawled over to the balcony and leaned his head against the cold steel. “Mmm, feelsss mnice.”
Fredrick, for his part, stood up, shook himself, and promptly fell over again.
Rhoam snickered into his glass of rum. “I hope Elise isn’t expecting you home tonight, captain.”
“ELISE,” Arn’s eyes flew wide open. “I love that woman. You know her?”
Rhoam choked on his liquor. “Yes, Arn, I know her.”
Arn’s eyes shone a curious shade of bright pink. “‘M gonna marry herrr,” he said with a stupid grin on his face.
“Many happy returns,” Rhoam said, refilling his own glass. He refused to be the only relatively sober one anymore. When the captain got this drunk, it was only a matter of time before he began busting out the sonnets. Arn, for all his good qualities, couldn’t write poetry no matter how many years he’d dedicated to the art.
“She’s got these eyes, oh my Hylia, have you seen ‘em?” Arn said, grinning as he leaned against the bannister. “And she’s got such a smile, and she–” he cut himself off, a perplexed look on his face as he held up his hands as if holding two orbs, then smiled to himself dumbly. “Mhmm huh. Nope.” He slid sideways and lay on the floor. “Gonna marry her,” he mumbled to himself.
“Link~” Zelda called to him. Her hand was brushing against his arm for attention. Then she began squeezing his forearm with that look in her eye he recognised so well. “Did you know you’re shtrong.” she slurred. She looked like she wanted to bite his forearms.
“Thank you Zelda.” he moved her hand into his and tapped the top of it affectionately. Her hand slipped out of his hand and returned straight to his arm again.
I think it’s bedtime for you. He stood and slid an arm around Zelda’s lower back and one under her knees and scooped her up. One of her wings automatically came to wrap around his back and the other seemed to drag on the ground.
He locked eyes with Rhoam in his chair. He simply waved them off with a shake of the head. “Just lock her windows please.”
Best to avoid more drunken dive-bombing incidents.
“Of course, sire.” Link nodded and walked off with Zelda in his arms.
Her talons swung back and forth and there was a happy giggle that tickled his heart. “Linky~! Link!” she cooed as her head laid against his chest.
He couldn’t help but smile. Zelda was so cute. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Sleep, Sweetheart.”
Aryll was a peculiar girl, Link knew this to be a fact. She was never doing anything sane anytime he came to find her.
Typically working down in the laundry room as a cover job, she was still among one of the guard wolves of the castle, albeit she typically took over the nightshift. It helped keep her eyes and ears on gossip that spiraled through the castle.
Cooks sleeping with maids, someone’s cousin getting turned into a vampire, suspicious bruises, hidden trysts, young servants stealing cooking from the bakery, the list went on for days.
Link padded along the halls of the castle as a wolf, sniffing out anything interesting. He spotted the one of two Sheikah ghosts in the halls, but not Aryll’s ghostly boyfriend. How she was managing that relationship, he’d never know, but to each their own.
His own relationship with Zelda was already public knowledge, no doubt a royal engagement would be announced in the coming months, late night talks were already there with Rhoam regarding the matters
He came up to the laundry room and nudged the door open with his head. The smell of laundry cleaner and fresh sheets invaded his senses.
“Link!” He heard the voice of a young teenage girl call out excited. He was immediately assaulted by head scratches from a large iguana. No, a lizard shifter. A Gerudo? What was a gerudo girl doing here?
The claws did feel nice, he admitted with little hesitation.
“Are you looking for your sister?” the girl asked. She scratched behind his ears and pulled out a piece of dried liver from a small ceramic jar.
I need to stop by more often. He accepted the piece with gusto and nodded his head.
“She’ll be back in a few minutes, she’s fetching the Duchess’ laundry.” She retracted the claws and walked away.
Nooo, come back… Damn… He padded over to the oversized dog bed in the corner. Aryll liked to nap here when she was waiting for her laundry to soak properly.
The teenager laughed. “Regular family pet, eh? You and your sister both love that thing. Me? I like the warm stones. Though I guess it would get too hot with all that fur.”
Link howled quietly in agreement, prompting more giggles from her.
“I’m Jalia,” the girl chirped. “Exchange student. Aryll’s been looking out for me since I got here.”
Oh that’s sweet of her.
Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted one of the Sheikah ghosts come into the laundry room through the wall. Short cropped hair, hair pinned back and eerie dulled red eyes. Aryll’s ghost boyfriend.
Sota waved to Link as the door swung open. Aryll walked in with a large basket full of white sheets. “Oh hey!” she dropped the basket on the ground and knelt before Link.
Something odd caught his nose. The scent of something burnt? He leaned towards the basket but didn’t catch it. It came from his sister.
What are you burning again? He looked at her suspiciously.
“Hey don’t you look at me like that! I didn’t do anything!” Aryll smacked his nose with a finger.
Sota was laughing quietly in the back. Link couldn’t hear him, but he could see him just fine like this.
But the more he looked at Aryll, the more something didn’t seem right. She wasn’t hurt, but the scent of burnt wood followed her, and something… stranger? No, she was definitely up to something.
Aryll caught on immediately. She leaned in close and pulled out a brown bag full of what was immediately identified as jerky. “You tell Dad I’m staying out of trouble, this bag is yours.” she whispers harshly to him. She drops the bag in front of him.
That’s fair. He grabbed the bag with his mouth and pulled it closer, accepting her deal. But what was she up to anyway?
He dug into the bag and pulled out a long strip of the jerky and tore into it. Oh bear jerky. He’d hide her secrets just fine for a bag like this.
He finished his piece and shifted out into his human form, then lounged in the bed and pulled a strip out of the bag and ripped a piece with his hands. He kept the bag close to him to stop Aryll from taking it back. “Dad wants to know why you’re going to Faron for the next two months. What do you want me to tell him?”
Sota was no longer visible to him, so he couldn’t gauge his reaction, but he wondered if it involved the ghost.
Aryll flushed and started picking up the laundry aggressively. “It’s none of his damn business.” she grumbled.
“It is when you’re here under his reference.” Link reminded her. Sure his sister was 23 now, and she was very much an adult with her own life, but both Aryll’s employment had special conditions as both a laundry worker and one of the night watch.
“Using my vacation.” She lied. He watched her ear flick twice.
“Riiight,” Link tore through his jerky piece. “Don’t go telling him that, he won’t believe you.”
Aryll shot him a glare. Jalia finished pouring some hot water into a large wooden basin and let Aryll throw the sheets into the water before sprinkling in a scoop of some white powder from a large box. “Well I can’t even tell him the truth, he’d go berserk!” She started aggressively dunking the laundry.
I’m sorry—Berserk!? “Aryll what the fuck are you doing?” Link started laughing. “Berserk? Please, isn’t that a good reason not to do something?”
“Absolutely, but it’s for other reasons.” She grabbed a long stick from the wall and started pushing the sheets around the basin.
The less I know, the better. “You’re not hurting yourself or others?”
“No.”
“Then don’t tell me. Better time lying like that.” Link stood up from the bed and kept his jerky bag close. “I’ll tell him you’re going on a vacation around Faron for a couple of weeks.” He waved to Jalia.
“Don’t you worry your little paws about me, brother.”
“Saying that will make me worry.” He muttered. His sister was…well, his sister. Chaos ran through her veins and she embraced it, that was public knowledge. “Just bring back some plants so it looks like you weren’t screwing around.” He advised.
“Aye, Link, I’ll do that.”
Link stopped in the doorway. “Oh and those melons, and the palm fruits. I want.”
Aryll raised the stick at him. “Yes! I get it!” She grumbled angrily at him and waved it like she was about to whack him like a rug.
“Jeez, who pissed in your kibble?” Link laughed. He was promptly whacked in the leg and he held his shin close to him.
Aryll pointed a finger at him, raising her eyebrows in a truly fearsome imitation of their mother. Jalia was keeping an eye on the laundry whacking stick. She was slowly pulling out a soaked blouse from the water and slipping it into their clothes wringer before dunking it back into a different bucket of water and repeating.
“Leave me to my laundry or I’m taking that jerky back and shoving it up your ass.” As wild as that threat was, she would probably do it.
“Understood…” He whimpered and rubbed his shin.