Chapter Text
It had been a few weeks since their first lesson, and Mildred had already improved greatly. She understood magic better than ever, thanks to Miss Hardbroom. Though they usually brewed potions or talked about them, Miss Hardbroom also took the time to teach her about other subjects, especially if Mildred had a bad grade in another class. When Mildred had marked barely 50% in her witches history class, Miss Hardbroom had spend their whole lesson explaining to her the history of the witching world and correcting the mistakes Mildred made on her test.
Though her grades and her knowledge were improving, her mood wasn’t really. In fact it was, but only for the shorts times when she was with Miss Hardbroom during her tutoring lessons, because she was so concentrated, so willing to do well, that she didn’t have time to think about anything else. Anyway, with Miss Hardbroom she didn’t even have a chance of not paying attention.
The rest of the time, things stayed the same. She felt just as dreadful everytime she thought of what happened, and she thought about it a lot.
She still felt cold. Sometimes at night she woke up when the room temperature lowered, and her blanket was not enough to keep her warm. She felt like she was going to freeze again and couldn’t go back to sleep.
Tonight had been one of those nights, she had barely slept because she kept feeling so, so cold, and it made her too scared to close her eyes, and too uncomfortable to fall asleep anyway. She was exhausted and had already used all her energy in classes, but now she had to go to her tutoring lesson. She was glad to have it, like always, and though part of her really would have preferred to go take a nap, another didn’t want to be alone in the coldness of her room.
When she got to the potion lab, Miss Hardbroom was waiting for her, like usual. They started the lesson, Miss Hardbroom making her do a reanimation potion this time. She had explained the instructions beforehand, like she always did, and was now letting Mildred work on her potion mostly alone, keeping her eyes on her. At the beginning of their sessions, they had mostly brewed the potions together, but as Mildred improved Miss Hardbroom was letting her do it on her one more often, intervening only when she was making a mistake.
Today, Mildred was making a lot of mistakes. So much that in only ten minutes, it was already the fifth time Miss Hardbroom had to grab her hand to keep her from adding the wrong ingredients to her cauldron. Six time, if you counted the one time she hadn’t been quick enough and Mildred had to start again the potion from the beginning.
“Mildred Hubble ! Pay attention. You nearly ruined your potion again.” The teacher snapped.
“Sorry Miss Hardbroom.” Mildred said sheepishly.
“You are not concentrating. There is no point in continuing if you’re not doing any effort, Mildred.” Miss Hardbroom stated.
“Please, I’m sorry, I will pay attention this time.” Mildred pleaded.
Miss Hardbroom pursed her lips but nodded, showing the next ingredient to the girl. For a few minutes everything went well again, until Miss Hardbroom caught Mildred yawning and rubbing her eyes with one hand, tiredly moving her other hand to grad an herb to add to the potion. Her teacher took her hand again, stilling her movement.
“Wrong. You are falling asleep in front of your cauldron, Mildred Hubble.” She complained sternly.
“I’m sorry Miss Hardbroom.”
“Did you not sleep last night ?”
Mildred shrugged, looking at the floor.
“Was there something keeping you awake ?” Miss Hardbroom asked, raising an eyebrow.
“The room was cold.” Mildred said softly, shrugging again.
“Cold ? Didn’t you have blankets ?”
“The blanket was not enough, it felt like I was cold inside.” She whispered. Miss Hardbroom frowned, suddenly looking concerned.
“What do you mean ?”
Mildred stayed silent for a long time, before staring at her teacher worryingly.
“I’m always cold. Ever since the founding stone.”
Miss Hardbroom sighed, closing her eyes for a second.
“Did you tell someone about this, is Miss Cackle aware of that ?” She questioned her.
Mildred shook her head.
“And you’re saying you are always feeling cold ?”
“Not exactly always, but most of the time. It’s okay when I don’t think about it. But the rest of the time, it feels like I’m going to freeze again.” Mildred explained shyly.
“Next session I’ll teach you a warming potion. It should help.”
She herself had been taking one daily since the freeze. She had offered one to Ada the first day after, but the headmistress had told her she didn’t need one. It seemed the ice had not affected everyone in the same way, and some, like herself and Mildred, were still feeling the repercussions of that day. Maybe because they both had been so close to give up their magic for the stone, maybe because of something else, she didn’t know.
“Thank you Miss Hardbroom.”
“Was it the only thing bothering you ?” She asked, trying to meet her student’s eyes.
Again, Mildred stayed silent.
Miss Hardbroom walked to one of her shelves, and went back to Mildred with a potion in her hand.
“Take this. You’ll feel better.”
Mildred eyed the potion, which was labeled as “warming potion” before drinking it, eager to feel its effects. It didn’t taste good, but she immediately started to heat up, feeling truly warm again for the first time since she froze. She looked up at Miss Hardbroom in wonder.
“Thank you so much, Miss Hardbroom.”
“Better, then ?”
“Yes, really better.” Mildred confirmed.
“There is no point in continuing the potion given how tired you are. You will go rest and we will finish this another time.”
“Yes Miss Hardbroom.” Mildred replied, slowly starting to walk toward the door, disappointed to be leaving so soon.
“Will you be alright?”
“I… yes.”
She took another few steps, before she stopped again.
“I… I’m scared.” She said, without turning to look at Miss Hardbroom.
“What are you scared of ?” Her teacher asked, coming closer to the girl.
“I’m scared of freezing again. I’m scared when I think of what if I had given my magic to the stone, or what if I couldn’t have saved the castle, and all of you that were still in it. I don’t want something like that to happen again.” Mildred admitted, finally looking at her teacher.
“It should never have been up to you to save everyone, nor to give up your magic. “ Miss Hardbroom said, a painful expression on her face. “You shouldn’t have been put in that position.”
“It’s okay.”
“It is not. But, I can tell you almost certainly that you are not going to freeze again Mildred. The cold you are feeling is a result of what happened, but it will not last forever. Things will get better, in time.” The potion teacher reassured her, her fingers moving repeatedly by her sides.
“But what if something happens again ? So many things have happened since I’ve been here, first with Agatha, and now this. I’m scared something bad will happen again, but that this time we will not succeed.” Mildred told her worryingly.
“I can’t tell you that nothing will happen, as I don’t know the future, but there’s no reason to think of that now. As a student here, you should feel safe and not have to worry about danger. It is our roles as your teachers to protect you from harm. If you don’t feel safe in the school it means we have failed at our jobs and I will talk to Miss Cackle about that because that is not alright.” Miss Hardbroom stated firmly.
“You don’t need to bother Miss Cackle with that, I’m going to be fine. It’s just… It’s a bit complicated at the moment. I just need to forget what happened.” Mildred replied, shrugging again.
“You did not understand me, Mildred Hubble. As teachers, assuring the students’ well being is part of our job. It is not a bother, it’s our duty. If you do not feel safe, we will talk about it and we will come up with adjustments to help you.” Miss Hardbroom argued, staring sternly at her student. Mildred had lowered her head, her hands wiggling together. She was uncomfortable, but relieved that she had told Miss Hardbroom what she really felt. The weight on her shoulders was a little bit less heavier now that she shared it.
“You will go rest, then after dinner you’ll go to Miss Cackle office. We will talk about this situation together.”
Mildred nodded, knowing this what not a suggestion but an order, and that she didn’t really have a choice. Still, she didn’t move. The idea of going back to her room alone, even now that she felt warmer thanks to the potion, was not appealing at all.
“You can go, now.” Miss Hardbroom told her, seeing that her student was not taking the initiative of leaving.
Mildred stayed right where she was, shyly looking at her teacher.
“Can’t we just finish the potion ?” She asked, hopeful. “I promise I will pay attention.”
Miss Hardbroom narrowed her eyes.
“You need to rest, Mildred. We will do the potion another day. You were falling asleep in front of your cauldron, and doing potions in an half asleep state is dangerous.” She refused.
Mildred still didn’t move, biting her lips.
“Please ? I will not fall asleep this time, I swear.” She insisted.
“I said no, and I will not change my mind. Unless you have a good reason of still standing here, I’d suggest you walk to your room this instant.”
Mildred hesitated, staring at Miss Hardbroom again. The woman didn’t look angry, just a tad annoyed.
“I don’t want to be alone in my room.” She admitted, her voice low.
Miss Hardbroom stayed silent for a long time at that, as she looked over her student carefully. She seemed to be thinking deeply about something, and Mildred grew more tense with each second that passed.
“I will be going in my quarters, to grade papers and prepare lessons. There is a couch you may use to nap if you wish.” She finally said.
“Really ?” Mildred asked, her eyes widening.
“I do not make an habit of saying things I do not mean.” Her teacher confirmed.
“That would be nice, Miss Hardbroom. “
The potion teacher waved her hands and they both appeared in her quarters. It was a little room with a couch and two armchairs with a tea table in front of a fireplace, shelves on the walls and a console on which there was some plants and potions Mildred didn’t recognize. There was a door in the back, probably leading to Miss Hardbroom’s bedroom.
“Take off your shoes and lay down on the couch.” The teacher said, as she made a blanket and a pillow appear in her hands. She put the pillow on the couch and lit a fire as she was waiting for Mildred to move.
Mildred obeyed, the situation was a bit awkward but she was indeed very tired and grateful at the opportunity of resting without being alone. When she laid, Miss Hardbroom gently put the blanket on her, surprising Mildred. She then sat on one of the armchair, gathering her pen, papers and potion notebook. She usually graded paper at her desk in the potion lab, or at her desk in her bedroom, but Mildred had asked not to be alone, and that had been the only thing she could think of.
“Sleep, Mildred. I’ ll wake you before dinner.”
The girl tried to watch her teacher work for a bit, but she struggled to keep her eyes open. The softness of the blanket, the heat of the fire and the gentle sound of Miss Hardbroom scratching her quill against her papers made it all too difficult to stay awake. Soon, she fell asleep, feeling warmer than she had been in a long time.
When she regained consciousness again, she was a bit confused at first. She woke up with her heart beating hard in her chest, weirds images in her head. She remembered things, Agatha in the castle, everything freezing then everything burning, people yelling. There was a whisper close to her ears, a voice she knew she should recognize but had never heard be that soft. She could feel something heavy on her shoulder, grounding her.
She opened her eyes to find Miss Hardbroom’s face close to her, the teacher kneeling by her side. Her hand was resting on Mildred’s shoulder, and she was talking to her.
“You had a nightmare. Whatever you dreamed of, it isn’t real. You and everyone in the castle is safe. “
Mildred’s breathing slowed as she understood what was happening. Her nightmare had been horrible, but not being alone when she woke up this time changed everything.
“You still have time before dinner, would you like to fall back asleep ?” Miss Hardbroom asked, not getting up for now.
Mildred shook her head, knowing there was no way she could sleep again after that.
“Do you wish to go back to your room?”
Again, Mildred shook her head.
“Alright.”
Miss Hardbroom went to sat on her armchair again as Mildred sat up. She worked silently for a while, as her student watched her.
She didn’t ask about Mildred’s nightmare. She could guess what it was about, and she wasn’t sure she would be able to comfort the girl if they talked about it. She made a note to herself to give her a Dreamless Sleep potion tonight, after their talk with Miss Cackle.
She hoped the headmistress would have an idea to make the girl feel safe again in the academy.