Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“ Shelldon report!”

“ Come on dude, I did that two hour ago. This is getting ridiculous!”  Came a whiny complaint from  the little turtle robot.

“ SHELLDON…!”  Snapped Donnie with an irritated tone. 

Something really rubbed him in the wrong way lately, but it wasn’t really the poor robot’s fault. He knew that. So, the genius took a deep breath before he continued his sentence in a softened voice.

“ Please, I promise this is the last one, then you can go offline to charge.”

“ Fine! SIGHT~ Where should I start?”

“ Project statuses!”

“ Lair security update finished two hours ago. The main computer bug is fixed.  Turtle Tank engine repair done, exterior strengthened. Battle shell upgrades performed.The toaster is back at working state. Project Sheldon is still on hiatus due to the required battery’s shortage.”

“ City observations next!”

“Connecting to the New York surveillance camera system. Database query. Access granted. Analyzing data. Report: City reconstructions moving along as expected. The remains of the Krang zombies are still confined in the special facility. Their status remains unchanged. Krang Two is still under the protection of the EPF, her current status unknown. A few humans committed crimes…”

“ Skip that!”

“ Meat Sweats made an appearance. The problem has been solved by Raphael.”

“ Seems like the big guy is back at business, huh? Anyways, skip to the Medical reports!”

“ Really? You asked for that one less than thirty minutes ago! You're really starting to freak me out with your paranoia.”

“ Shell-DON!” Donnie really tried to remain calm, but this felt like he was so close to having the last drop in his glass.

“ Geeze, no need to get all cranky! Here: Health status report 004, April, parameters are normal; 005, CJ parameters are normal, slight injury on left hand, probably a minor cut; 003, Raphael, parameters normal, slightly elevated blood pressure, in between expected value due physical activity, visibility of damages eye still on 70%; 002, Michelangelo, parameters normal blood sugar slightly elevated cause:  cookie baking, mistic energy level between acceptable values, hand tremors on hiatus; 001, Leonardo, parameters normal, state of left leg unchanged since day 40 of the recovery; 000 ACCESS DENIED!”

“ Ok, that's enough Shelldon you may leave.”

“ WTF dude?! You keep monitoring each of your family members' health closely, checking it every hour or so. ~KHM  paranoid much ~KHM But you never even look at your own. Now you even restrict me from accessing your files?! Not cool fa- dude!” ( Good save Shelldon!)

“ Your concern is completely unnecessary! I do check my own medical files. Therefore there is simply no reason for it to be accessible for you. ( Or anyone) Now, if you’d be THAT KIND…”

“ Ok, ok whatever man, I'm out of here!” And with that said the little robot speeded away.

“Finally!” Mumbled the genius as he auto locked the doors.

Truth to be told, he wasn’t even supposed to have a lock. But these were designed in a way no one could notice their existence, until they found the door locked. It was one of the first upgrades Donnie made since the invasion.

Why, one could ask. Well he kept telling himself it was for privacy reasons and that wasn’t entirely false, just apparently not entirely true either.

Some things were different since the invasion and the changes not only consisted of his running rampant paranoia about losing a brother. There was this thing. It wasn’t psychical, he swears he’s not going insane. But it certainly was in his head. 

And now he no longer can contain it. It’s broken free!

Right now, he felt like he was wasted on some hardcore drug. ( Not like he had a comparison, it was just what he thought it would feel like to be high.)

All spinny, nauseating, almost throwing up and in indescribable anguish.

The world around him is so dull. He recognises the colors around him, yet they all seem gray. The buzzing sound of the computers,  the whirring of machines… It’s not enough!

The purple turtle's head was throbbing, his brain felt as if it was itching in the prison of his skull. 

It’s claustrophobic! Too tight! Need to expand! Need to reach! Escape!

And he suddenly finds himself holding a box cutter inches away from his head, ready to jam it into the bone prison of his brain. He might be just be freed that way, he might just scratch that annoying itch that now lives rent free in his head, never ever stopping his endless torment.

He comes back to his senses, frantically staring at the horrific blade in his hand. With a panicked movement, he yeets the box cutter across the room, so forcefully, it ends up impaling itself into the wall.

He takes a moment or two to get a hold on his breathing and calm down.

Then the genius sanks into his chair, resignedly huffing in annoyance.

“Here we go again!”He notes in his mind. Then he puts a headphone up, switches his computer on and opens a file which immediately starts to play some loud noise in ever changing pitches, meanwhile the screen lights up with all these random shapes, bits and chunks of information, equations, vivid color flashes are rapidly dancing almost manically there.

Jeez, that was one epilepsy inducing show. Instant brain melt. It’s lucky he has all those door locks installed. It would be horrible, if someone was stumbling into the lab and would get brain damage. That was his reason for having them in the first place. Even though he’s not suppose to have them according to his family.

He just gives himself up to the hell that gotten a hold on him. 

The noise, the light, the colors it hurts, tearing him apart piece by piece. It’s way too much, yet not enough . Don’t wanna see! Don’t wanna hear! Want more! Need more!

Hands obliging an urge, that’s contradictory of Donnie’s will, turning the volume up.

“Enough!” He cries out with no voice, overstimulated tears running down his face. He hates it. He hates to cry. He hates incoherent loud noises. He hates rapid color flashes and fast bits of information that he has no time to comprehend. He doesn't want this, he wants it to be over! It’s a pain, pain,pain, pain,pain, pain,pain, pain,pain, painpainpainpainPAIN! 

The purple genius’s brain overloaded to the point it feels like it’s melting.

He can’t explain it. It's just too much and still, too little. He can’t break out of the trance he's trapped in. It’s torture really. The purple turtle feels like he’s been at it for hours, drained and terrified, but he can no longer tell the passage of time. It’s almost like the clock froze.Everything standing still.

And all he can do is pathetically wait. For what? Donnie waits for his brain to short circuit.

And oh Pizza Supreme in the skies it finally does. The world goes all black as he passes out.

But if he was expecting relief, he would be incredibly naive. No, no! The curse he bears is not that kind. All he can hope from unconsciousness to free him from physical pain, not the mental anguish. 

Donnie’s invisible tormentor simply just switched gears as the softshell suddenly finds himself in a foreign place, experiencing the grim fate of hundreds of worlds decimated by the Krang through the eyes of a stranger.

Where is he? In some water? What is he? Who is he? This place is home… It’s lovely… Something is wrong. The water is too hot. Was it always like that? NO! Something red shines outside. He suddenly knows what that is. A weapon, the end of the word, a leaser. They have come! They have come for him! Them? Right there, outside, gracefully swims the terror that descended from other space. The Techno Drone. He recognises that even though he can't remember who he is. And then ear ripping screams echo as he feels white hot pain coursing through his body. He's burning! It’s hot!It’s hot!It’s hot! His melting! Dying! Scared!Scared!Scared!

It’s over, he's dead!

And the purple turtle’s eyes snap open.

He disorientedly looks around the foreign space. Where is he? In the lab. In his lab. Who is he? He wonders for a second, then his mind clears. 

“Right, I’m Hamato Donatello. A teenage mutant ninja turtle. I live in the sewers with my rat father and my 3 brothers, Raph, Leo, Mikey… Ok, I guess I’m back. I remember now. Oh my banana pancakes, that was… intense. Better record it before I call it a night.” (Or a day, who knows anymore.)

The turtle pulls out his dictaphone and connects it to his laptop. The rubs his annoyingly sore and red eyes. He hates crying and he hates the aftermath of it as well.

 The poor turtle barely manages to keep sitting up right, his head is still spinny and the headache…. 

Donnie has always been familiar with killer migraines, but this is like constantly building up pressure in his skull, nothing like anything he experienced before. Well, not before the invasion, but ever since then…. Constantly. And the worst part is, there is nothing to stop it. Even the only thing that works, which he named “brain short circuit” can only ease the pain. No pain killer or home remedies, not even mistic has an effect on it.

“Entry 272: In today’s “vision”  I was one of a fish like an alien species, I assume. The home planet was covered in water like liquid. Just like in the previous 271 “vision” the Krang annihilated the planet using the Techno Drone’s laser. They were boiled alive. Between the “vision” and my consciousness return I experienced foreign feelings. I was afraid, terrified of the Krang, yet on the contrary I felt the need to serve them, like that was the only reason for my existence. I- I- I was created to serve them… To go to war, to kill, to die for their sake. Oh god…. ”

The genius quickly paused the record and slapped the laptop shut, careless if he braked it or not. His hands were shaking like crazy, breathing shallow and fast. The softshell’s entire body shivered and his shell ached under his battle shell.

Donnie pulled his hand close to his plastron, drawing small circles on it to try and calm down. Nausea hit him hard, but he really was against the idea of throwing up. He curled into the tiniest turtle ball, he physically could and wished the world away.

But of course it’s not that simple. He knows it.

He finally managed to get a hold on himself.

“I-I don’t know how long I can bear this. This is driving me insane! It’s, it’s in me! And what can I do about it?! Nothing! Just suffer! Hamato Donatello the genius, the teen prodigy is… powerless against it.” It was frustrating to admit it, maybe even more than feeling the thing growing and crawling under his skin digging little tunnels in his flesh.

What should he do? Does he tell the others? And how would he start? 

“Hey guys, remember the Techno Drone, TD for short? Yes, good…. you know ha ha…. since it’s inside of me or more likely it’s me and I can’t get rid of it because it’s my part now, I guess. Oh, and I have no idea what it's doing, but it keeps spamming my brain with first person experience records of  species annihilated by the Krang, meanwhile makes me wanna worship those pink bastards or something. No biggie right?” God, he sounds insane. Maybe he is. Maybe he’s not even himself anymore. How can someone tell if they have becomed someone else?

Doesn’t matter. What does, is that he just can’t tell anyone about this. The family, his family, is finally recovering. He and his brothers  ( Leo excluded.)  occasionally go on nightly patrols, the future boy starts to be an actual member of society, and April and Cass swing by from time to time for movie nights… Everything is back to normal. 

The last thing this family needs is another hard hit. They almost lost Leo and Raph. What would his family do if he announced his inevitable death? Because let’s be realistic, how long can an organism survive the constant brain overuse? He’s gonna burn out quickly, he knows.

But don’t worry! He’s not super upset about it. It's not like he wanted to climb into his twin bed and cry on him for hours or beg his papa to save him. He’s….. um…. totally fine! 

Right now, he just has to concentrate on the task before him. If his time is limited, then he doesn’t need all these emotions to distract him. Go big or go home, keeps the saying and the genius is already home.

He either gonna find a cure for himself or make the lair automated so it can assist his brothers in his eternal absence.

Because they literally would die if it weren't for him. Just like the day when the nightmare began.

Flashback: 

They barely got Leo back from the prison dimension. He was all battered and bruised. Bleeding wounds and sickly twisted broken limbs decorated him. And he literally lost consciousness after the group hug which might not have been the best idea, to tell the truth.

Mikey was unable to grab or hold anything as the mystic cracks on his hands still burned. 

Then Raph, his eye took a greate damage essentially blinding him to that side. That really threw off the big guy’s balance, he kept stumbling over  and bumping into everything. 

So, obviously, Donnie was the only person who they could count on. He was hardly injured. Or that’s what his brothers taught.

None of them saw, none of them knew what the Techno Drone did. Well, ok Mikey saw him getting sucked into the spaceshipp’s control panel, but what came after it… It was pure terror, something that Donnie will never be able to unfeel. 

First the tentacles painfully dug into his flesh, crawled through his soft shell, just beneath the surface. Then he felt like his body caught on fire. He… Melted and mixed together with the machine. That thing wasn't made in a way that the pilot could be separated from the ship. He was supposed to completely integrate into it and honestly, if he didn’t have the advantage of a pretty resistant mutant body, then probably nothing would’ve left him what the Krang could tore out of the Techno Drone. It was a truly  terrifying concept.

After he got rudely yanked from the control panel, he could feel changes in his body. For example his entire flesh felt soft and squishy, like some melted cheese. ( Thankfully it didn’t last that long.) But if that wasn’t blood curdling enough, the genius could swear he saw tiny bits of him dripping away . He also was lighter, significantly. As later an x-ray proved he did leave some extra weight in that damned ship. That so-called “extra weight” was a couple pieces of his skeletal structure. Six ribs and a few of his vertebrae. The rest of his bones adjusted, stretched and reshaped in a way that the changes couldn’t be seen from the outside. Still, that didn’t make Donnie feel less like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin .

Anyways, he couldn’t be selfish. He could stand and pull his own weight. And he did. The genius literally carried his twin to the medbay, given that he wouldn’t trust in Raph’s ability to convey the mangled turtle. Not in his state.

So definitely not hypocritically, he told the big guy that he was too injured to do that. And hey, he wasn’t lying, he sincerely didn’t see any injuries on himself. Although it’s part of the truth that he didn’t dare to take off his battle shell.

Getting back to the lair was hell. A ten minute trip felt like hours long torture. And not just in the “I’m dying from anxiety, because my brothers are hurt!” way, even if that was a huge part of it, but in a literal sense.

Donnie’s back ached, it felt as if red hot knives were stabbed periodically into his shell. Every time he made a step and his battle shell brushed against his natural one, he had to bite back spine chilling screams, his legs were trying to buckle under him as the waves of pain coursed through him. Oh, and don’t forget the lovely ( heavy sarcasm) sticky, ooey-gooey, slime that he definitely could feel all over him. It really made him want to rub his body till not even skin remains.

Of course now, a naive optimist would think things are gonna get better once they get home. Everyone is gonna get patched up, taken care of and they finally be able to relax a bit.

Yeah sure. And who might be the lucky one who patches them up? The family medic is unconscious, Mikey’s hands are a mess, Raph has never been good at stuff like this ( Not with the massive hands he got.) and the purple turtle definitely doesn’t trust the ex warrior evil alchemist whatsoever or anyone who he brought to their lair ( Much to the purple brother’s distress.) to just let them operate on his twin and his brothers without supervision. His own supervision. Besides, no one knows more about their anatomy than Leo and he, himself. And fat chance he’d be sitting on the sidelines.

But the purple turtle is being betrayed by his own body. He's getting dizzy. Was he bleeding somewhere? He feels like he’s about to pass out. 

But he… he can’t. He’s needed! He needs to stay on his two damned feet! He needs to provide! Just a little longer! He can not let his family get hurt again! Not again, not ever! 

“ Stand up and keep going!” He tells himself.

“ Stand up and keep going! ” It repeats in his mind. ~ Initiating nociceptor shut down!~ Unlocking emergency resources~ And like if it was some sort of spell, a switch flipped the dizziness, the tiredness and the pain was spirited away, as if it wasn’t even there.

The genius didn’t know what happened, but truth to be told just this one time he didn't care. He had more important things to tend to.

The softshell cleaned the eldest wounds, wrapped the little one’s and fixed up his dum bum twin. He did get some helping hands in the surgery from a yokai doctor who was brought there, since everyone insisted, but he did the lion’s share. 

Then, even when his blue brother’s state finally stabilized, he still stayed vigil by his side, holding his twin’s hand. Just in case. He didn’t even realize the passage of time, until he got reminded by the other family members.

Apparently, counting in the time they spent having a war against the chewing gum aliens, Donnie went full 48 hours without sleep, food or water even after being put through the hell of fighting and tending to his brother’s wounds.

After a good hour of Raph and Mikey insisting that Dee have to get some sleep and that they’ll keep watch,  then wake him if anything happens with Leo, the genius finally gave in. He reassuringly squeezed the unconscious brother’s hand then left.

He didn’t go to his room though. He did agree to get some shut eye, but he never promised to do it in his room. Besides, it was in unlivable conditions.Completely destroyed by a big concrete slab. ( Mikey really should have watched where he was throwing buildings during the fight.) Seems like if there was any higher being ( Which Donnie will doubt till the day he dies.) then they are probably having a blast making fun of them. Like come on, really? They literally just settled into their new home and it has been busted to the point that they’ll need to move again as soon as Leo gets into moveable condition.

The purple turtle really doesn't look forward to search for another abandoned location that can fit them, and then working his ass off to fix up the place. But it seems like he cursed to repeat the cycle endlessly.

He made his way to his lab and pulled out the king size spare bed, which’s only reason for existence was to let the twins occasionally snuggle when they had some bad mental breakdown. Seemingly the gentle hum and buzz of the various machines always made both purple and blue relaxed. Not this time, tho. The machines were all offline, given that the city’s power source was wrecked and the generators now were all redirected to supply the medbay.

Donnie always felt the safest behind the huge mechanical doors that provided the logical kind of security he needed, but right now, his safe haven filled him with dread. 

He stared at the  spare bed. It usually carried a nice cozy feeling ( What he definitely wouldn’t admit having.) when he thought about it. But the bed was empty, there was no warmth radiating from there.

 It's a matter of fact that they were half cold half warm blooded but all four of them were mutated unequally. Donnie was the most turtle, that caused issues sometimes like him eating a pet goldfish. It also meant that he had the most visible cold blooded attributes. To say it simply, the genius’s scaly skin always felt like ice packs and he was usually the first to get the chills or seek out a heat lamp when the weather slightly cooled. His twin thought was on the more human side of the spectrum, although he wasn’t as close as Mikey who was the least turtle. ( Probably the reason why he was able to grow hair in the future.) Either way, this quality of the blue brother made him the perfect heat source for the purple turtle. Not as hot as the sun ( Mikey), not as cool as the lake ( Raph ), but just warm like coffee on a cold morning.

Yet that disgusting alien robbed Donnie, for hell knows how long from the comfort he needed. As far as he can estimate, Leo might not wake up for months.

The softshell quickly opened a cabinet rummaging through it to find bedding. He has no time to waste pondering on something he can not change. He just needed sleep. Although funnily, he wasn’t tired at all.

Donnie pulls out a soft blue blanket. It’s Leo’s and he would probably start to fake whining, pretending to be possessive of his stuff, ( Being possessive is definitely the genius’s department.)  if he could see his twin using it. But the Purple turtle's blanket was probably buried under the rubble that covered his room and it’s not like his dum dum brother could actually mewl about it.    

The silence was deafening, driving the poor turtle mad. But still, his body slowly relaxed. The silence was ominous, but nearly not as much as anything he experienced in the last 24 hours.

Leo is stable, Raph is watching over him and he made a promise to alert Donnie if anything goes “off script”. He can just allow himself to rest a bit.

~Session completed~ ~ Initiating Nociceptor reconnection~ ~Charting damage~ 

And white hot pain washed over the poor genius. He fell to his knees, unable to stand,unable to move, unable  to breath, unable to think. The pain traveled from his back to his chest, piercing through him. 

Confused, and terrified he had no idea what just hit him. Why is it acting up all of the sudden, and even worse than before.

Suddenly he became painfully aware of the tightness of his battle shell. It was painfully rubbing against his aching shell. Off! Off! He needs it off! The sense of urgency took over his brain and he tried to move, but his hands didn’t even budge. But he needed it off! NOW! 

Slowly, agonizingly slowly he managed to slide his left hand up to the battle shell’s release button. 

Upon pressing it, the metallic equipment made a loud hiss, then as the gravitation took hold of the object, another pain made itself known. Donnie felt as if something that was part of him separating. First it just painfully tugged on the skin covering his softshell, then the tug became a tear. He felt like he was ripping apart at the seams. 

The genius opened his mouth to let out the most horrifying scream he could manage. So, lucky that he soundproofed the lab. (Heavy sarcasm.)

Finally, gravitation won and his battle shell fell to the ground with a loud clang. 

Tired, feeling all woozy, the purple turtle no longer could keep himself from falling face first to the cold lab floor. 

Normally he would complain about it being unsanitary, but now not a single thought came to mind, just the overpowering pain and the freezing cold temperature of the concrete beneath him. Was it alway this cold? Like literal frostbite hazard cold? He hated it! He wanted warmth! His brother’s warmth. 

And for better or worse, like if some deity took pity on him, he felt warmness pooling under him. It was the latter. It was so, so bad. 

Donnie was lying on the floor, marinating in his own ever flooding blood, which made a huge puddle under him. Looks like making the battle shell waterproof came to bite him back. Like, it was extremely convenient when it kept out every kind of grimy water and (as it turned out) extremely inconvenient when it kept all of your leaking blood inside.

The softshells eyelids felt heavy as anchors, slowly dropping down and enveloping the poor guy in total darkness. He knows the meaning of all of this. He’s bleeding out! And if he can’t get up…. If he can’t call for help…. He’s gonna die.

But as weak as he grew under these few minutes, without a voice or strength to stand up, with the soundproofing he made for his lab, with his brothers thinking he's asleep…. He did the math, and there is no chance he’ll survive!

Funny! It’s really is. Hamato Donatello, the one who fought with various mutants, the one that held his ground against the Shredder, the one who survived driving a maddening spaceship, the one who helped defeat the Krang…Will die in his lab, all alone, unnoticed. How lame! How anti-climatic! 

And he saw the illusion of his brother’s sad faces as his consciousness faded out.

~ Commencing reconstruction  ~  

The genius turtle awoke in cold sweats. His head was pounding and his shell ached like crazy. But to his biggest surprise he was alive. 

Did someone find him in time? Was he that lucky?

He looked around and found himself still on the ground, literally stuck in his own dried blood that now coated the entire lab floor. 

The purple turtle slowly sat up, ignoring the pain and the uncomfortable sensation of peeling himself from the dried blood.

He was perplexed. How was he still alive? The amount of blood on the floor, the half gallon blood pooling in his battle sell… No living, breathing organism should‘ve survived that.

Well, ok, there is one. One very resilient, ugly ugly pink tentacle monster that could. The Krang.

The Krang… The KRANG?!

Donnie jolted up, immediately being reminded of the now way more prominent pain in his shell. But he didn’t care. He ignored it. The way he felt something move under his skin… It’s just a phantom sensation, it must be!

Still, now that the thought made its home inside of his head, he knows for a fact he won’t feel better, till he can’t confirm with his own eyes the non-existence of the worst case scenario.

But of course his lab is very inconveniently had no mirrors. 

The softshell needs to get to the bathroom. With that the purple turtle was almost on his merry way, when looking back  he spotted the literal bloodbath his lab became.

Ok, new plan! He absolutely can’t leave the place like that. He was out for about 8 hours so  one of his brothers is bound to come to get him sooner or later. He doesn’t trust them to keep the house off fire without him that long. And well god forbid one of his traumatized brethren stumbles upon the gory scene. 

He quickly pulled out a little custom roomba he made to clean his lab. It was made in a way, so it can deal with very nasty stains. The genius never imagined, not in his wildest dreams that he’ll one day have to use it to clean up his own blood from the floor. But oh well…

So the softshell left the little bot to their own devices and sneaked into the bathroom, locking the door.

Finally, he can look at his shell.. He turned around, but the sight welcoming him immediately made him want to throw up. Losing his balance he barely managed to hold onto the sink and god, he did throw up.

Thankfully it all ended up in the sink, so he quickly got rid of it before the vial sight could induce a chain reaction of never ending vomiting.

Lightheaded from the shallow and fast spaced breaths… (God, when did he start hyperventilating?)

In his haze, his eyes wandered at the mirror again. What was there, was straight out of a brutal horror story. 

Just beneath his skin, hundreds of pink tentacles in various thickness intertwined with his shell. Some of them were squirming around, digging tunnels in his flesh, meanwhile  other thinner ones sat still over his huge injuries like some sort of sick stitches keeping his seams together. The bleeding stopped. Mostly. Some red liquid still oozed out here and there near the edges, but it was so insignificant like a paper cut.

That big brain of the genius completely froze. It was the Techno Drone. The Krang spaceship. He’s overtaken like Raph. No, no, no! They are moving! He can’t… It HURTS! He’s sacred! 

He wanted to scream for help. But he can’t. 

Suddenly in his panicked state of mind, for reasons still unknown he grabbed the tweezer that sat on the side of the sink.

OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT!  Get OUT of him! He needs to get rid of it!

The genius managed to get hold on one of the pink appendages and yanked it as hard as he could. It took hell of a work, pulling, twisting, ripping the thing as it fought viciously against the tweezers. Not to mention the immense pain the poor softshell was experiencing, almost fainting a dozen times during the process and throwing up like twice.

Finally the flesh vine gave in and ended up removed. It wiggled on the floor where the purple turtle yeeted it. His hands were covered with thick red blood. It wasn’t the Krang creature’s, it was his own and once again his blood flow like a river from where the tentacle got ripped from.

Donnie traces the new injury with his hand, then his stomach drops as he sees the rest of the thin tentacles merge with his shell, creating a seamless skin texture where the original wounds stood. 

He really hates vomiting, but he might just gonna do it the fourth time this day.

But before he could’ve even reacted to the vial sight he saw in the mirror,  he felt as the thick flesh vines started to worm their way inside his body. Deeper, deeper! It’s trying to hide from the tweezers. It slowly makes its way through the tunnels of flesh.

NO! He can't take it! At that moment the poor purple turtle had abandoned all sense and started to roll on the ground in agony, scratching his back trying to claw out the parasite careless the ever growing amount of injuries on his shell, but all to no avail.

The vile tendrils continued their way deep, jabbing themselves right into his spine. The half unconscious genius wasn’t sure how it's capable of doing that, but the tentacles entered his spinal cord and painfully traveled up towards his skull.

“No, it’s going to take over….” 

The softshell had to do something, if this goes on the thing will make its home in his brain. But how can you fight something that is literally inside your bones? Besides, by the time he reached the conclusion, he had to act. The thing already made its presence known in his brain, with an unbearable pain that wanted to make him blow his own brains out. Anything just makes it stop!

Donnie was clawing his head tearing into his purple bandana that was half shocked with blood as he felt the gross tentacles wiggle around in his brain. He couldn’t tell at that moment if he wanted to throw his intestines up or bang his head to the wall until he passed out. 

Then everything abruptly stopped. No wiggling, no sensation from the flesh vines, no nausea or particular strong pain. All he felt is the light aches from the various scratch marks he made, while struggling. 

It took an unholy amount of time for the softshell to calm himself. He uncurled himself and stood up from the bathroom floor where he was trembling in the last, at least twenty minutes.

He needed to look into it further, so he cleaned up himself and the miserable state he put the bathroom in, picked up the still wiggling ( Gross!) tentacle  piece he previously trew to the floor and put it into a small empty clear container of  shower gel. 

“Thank you Leo for the various beauty products you keep hoarding to our bathroom. Once in our whole lifetime it came handy. “ Teased the softshell mentally his twin, but instead of cheering him up, as it usually does, it made him sad now.

It felt bad to joke about his brother like that when he had no chance to fight back. Not after the dum dum sacrificed himself for the word…. for them. 

So, he put the teasing on hold just the way he did with the previous experience in order to keep his calm. 

He knows if he didn’t, then otherwise either of those two pieces of information could cause him a mental breakdown, let alone both.

He rushed back to his lab, got on his Battle shell, a fresh mask and looked away at the little wiggling tendril. Then he inspected the place for any evidence of his gory adventure. There was none, his little roomba did an excellent job.

And before he could think further a vicious knocking echoed on his door, followed by Mikey's sweet voice excitedly gabble:

“Don, Don, Don, Dee! Leo’s up!”

And that’s all the genius needed to hear to burst out of his cave and make his way to the medbay with the speed of the light.

End of Flashback: 

Many days have passed since. Leo is fine except his leg that seems to might put him permanently out of hero business. He acts like he doesn't care, but Donnie knows too well that his dum dum self sacrificing idiot of a brother is crying himself to sleep each night.

And he really wants to comfort him. But whenever he’s around him he gets scared. Not from Leo. He’s not like Raph who avoids the slider because of guilt. 

Donnie is scared of…. himself. Or the thing inside him, although his research made it clear, whatever is made its way inside of him, is a part of him now.

He is Krang now. Maybe if he was just half Krang he could feel like well it’s 50-50% chance I’m still me or not. But if he looks at his DNA it’s more Krang than human or turtle. At this point he himself is just a Hamato Donatello shaped and textured Krang goop.

That’s something he might never be able to stomach….

Chapter Text

Everything would be fine (absolutely not fine) if Donnie could just hide away in his lab. Maybe rot there,  mummifying. Yep,  that would be lovely. Way more than living life like a goddamn Krang.

Besides, he has work to do. A lot. Their defenses are nearly not advanced enough! It has to be perfect! Impenetrable! A fortress of safety.

 Especially now that the enemy is secretly living under their roof. Maybe he should move out? But where would he go? Everywhere he would pose a threat. 

Isn't it better then to stay where he is most likely neutralized the moment he would cause damage? It's a completely logical choice and has nothing to do with a childish sense of need for comfort or  with being terrified of being alone. All he wants to do is making sure, -till he's in his right mind-  that if he goes insane, his tech can put him out of his misery and none of his brothers have to live with the guilt for the rest of their lives because they had to end him.

The softshell knows he shouldn't think like this. 

”Stay positive!”He would say to himself. But let's be real,  positivity never was his forte. 

The four of them always complemented each other's strengths and weaknesses. 

Mikey would always be the ray of sunshine of the family,  Raph the sense of security and anchor if you wish. He himself is the cold mathematical reality. And Leo,  he can't even put it into words… Sometimes he's like the power that urges them forward,  then the rope that keeps them from falling and you blink once he becomes the north star that leads them.

 His twin was truly a mystery, a one of a kind dum dum. Like if he could become everything and nothing at all. The slider was a mixture of all of them. Just a little pinch of Mikey's hyper positivity,a little bit of Raph's protectiveness and a hint of his own intelligence.

So who is he to cash in to the well of positivity that's way out of his depths. He could really use some cheer right now tho.

But that's just a tiny little selfish side of his brain. Demanding comfort like a child. He's a big boy now! He won't run to his big brothers or his papa when he finds out he's dying. If he's dying. He's probably dying.

It doesn't matter! Not if him gone will keep his family safe.

 Ha! He sounds like that self sacrificing dummy of a twin. They truly are twins.

His hands move,  tinkering away on some new design of his battle shell. But his mind is far from there. He's tired,  and in pain and just wants it to end. To die! Die! Die! Die! Die!Die!Die!Diediediediediediediediediedie! ~We wanna live!~ You don't get to choose! DiediediediediediediediediedieDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE! ~We can fix this!~ I can't fix this!~ We mean no harm!~ I'm dangerous now! ~We have to serve!~ Our masters are gone! ~Serve our brothers~! They are mine! ~No,  ours!~  Rather die than let us have them! ~Why are we going so far?!~ Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!ShutupshutupshutupshutupshutupSHUTUPSHUTUP! JUST DIE ALREADY! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!

"Dee,  why are you stabbing your tech with a screwdriver?” A voice suddenly spoke behind the genius.

The poor softshell almost jumped out of his chair. Eyes wide and wild with fear,  body twisting into a defensive stance,  threateningly pointing the screwdriver as a makeshift weapon at the intruder.

And he stared at the figure. Small and orange,  lifting both hands in the air, signing surrender.

Donnie's wild gaze slowly softened,  he let his hand and stance relax,  the screwdriver got put down at the table.

He didn't speak. He didn't know what to say. Or even how to speak. He was so caught up with his internal debate he forgot how words work.

And after what felt like an unholy amount of time spent uncomfortably staring, thoughts finally caught up with the softshell.

" Angel,  for Pizza sake don't scare me like that!”

"Sorry Don,  didn't mean to snuck up on you. But in my defense I knocked and called you over and over again. You didn't answer so I got worried." Spoke the orange kid fiddling nervously with his arm wrappings .

Ugh,  rookie mistake from the genius. He let himself wander into that dangerous part of his mind. The part he didn't understand or control.

"It's ok,  I was just…. Um… doing stuff." He quickly pushed the mutilated robotics into his drawer.

"Yea,  uh… sure!" Mikey gave him a doubtful look,  but thankfully did not dwelled on the thing any longer.

"Anyways I came to invite -under invite I mean force you if necessary-  to a family breakfast. Like now."

"Oh,  yea,  that sounds lovely,but I'm busy!”

(Wrong answer!)

" No,  no you don't! It's been more than a week since anyone saw you even leave your lab. We only know you're still alive,  because the coffee stained mugs keep multiplying at the sink every morning. ( Courtesy of Shelldon who takes them out every day.) So there is no getting out of it Mr!”

"Look Mikey, can't we just delay this till next time? (Preferably at a time when I either found a cure or kicked the bucket?)"

"No,  absolutely no! Not again! Last time you said the exact same. And even promised me that next time you will attend no matter what!”

Did he promise such a thing?! He cranks the gears of his brain but to no avail. He can not recall a single thing. And his silence clearly unnerving his little brother so he doesn't really have the time to sit idly and worry about his 

gappy memory.

" FineH! I just finish this up!”

Mikey gave him a doubtful look, even tilting his head to the side for emphasis.

"I promise I'll be right behind you!"

"Ok,  but if you lied….. Watch out because I'll be sending the Doctor your way!" Warned the little one with something dark on his face,  then he walked away.

Now the softshell was left alone once again. He just stared at his various computers,  neither of them were running anything he should've stopped. That was just an excuse to delay the inevitable.

Donnie really loved his family,  he swears,  but sitting down at the table were more like a torture lately than some quality time.

Any of those events felt like walking on eggshells.

Raph wouldn't even look at Leo,  ridden with guilt. Feeling like he failed his little brothers.

 The slider's smile looked stained,  faded, fake and his leg… everyone was dancing around the elephant in the room. The fact that Leo will never walk again.

Then sweet sweet Angelo who's hands time to time flare up,  yet he pressures himself to stay overly cheerful and keep the family in one piece.

And there is him…. Maybe the worst part. He just can't feel safe sitting there. Wait,  that's not right, let him rephrase that!

He doesn't feel like his brothers are safe beside him.

No matter how he tries to justify it, he's a ticking time bomb. Right now he's not a threat,  but the thing inside him… the thing he is can change like the weather. With a flip of a switch he's so easily ready to stab his own self. Sure,  he managed to gain back control before he could cause any lasting damage. But who knows if  he will be fast enough next time? If he attacks his brothers?

He's such a mess,  he knows. He should look out for his family and just disappear. That's the only way to keep them safe,  yet he selfishly only thinks about how he couldn't live without them…

Besides, he's not even that hungry.

The softshell's eyes wander to the pile of disposable coffee cups. If his mind wasn't so hazy, he would count them. Although,  then he might take too long for his little brother's liking.

The coffee cups almost reach the ceiling. No wonder Mikey was so worried about him. He doesn't even remember when he drank so much.

Now to think about it,  he doesn't even remember when he last ate. 

The genius tries to do the math,  but something is amiss. No matter how he adds,  subtracts and multiplies he always ends up at five days. And that can't be right. He ate when he last left his lab. 

Oh, no. That's not right. He did left his lab and even opened the fridge but then a strong urge,  a voice in his head spoke: ~Need nutrition!~ Calorie deficit.~

So,  he did what any other sane turtle would do and shut the fridge door right away,  thinking: starve bitch! (Given that the voice is suspiciously female sounding.) Then went straight back to his lab, not leaving ever since.

Hey,  it's not a bad idea. Starving the goddamn parasite. He just keeps forgetting that it's not a parasite. It's him,  himself. He realized that long ago,  but he just can't come to terms with it.

Therefore his big brain plan is to starve himself,  only drinking coffee so he can continue his work… It's very logical! Or… at least it sounded logical at that time. But now it's kinda silly. (No,  Donnie,  it's insane!)

”Cool,  cool,  cool! Calm down, things are not that bad! It was just five days right?"

 Except that the five days was when he had his fruitless trip to the fridge. Which means that he went without food for a longer time. 

"Wait! What day is it?!"

The purple turtle turns his comfy gaming chair toward his laptop on the side of his desk. With a few clicks,  he pulls up the calendar's tab.

"Sweet Galileo, no way! That must be a mistake!” He exclaimed loudly,  suddenly being very thankful that he soundproofed the lab.

The calendar says it's the 15th of February. Which is just insane. 

He turns to his main computer pulling up his project and looking at the timer.(Donnie liked to monitor how long certain tasks took. It also helped him to know when to take breaks, unless he got too lost in a project.)

The display said : Work hours spent: 120/6/120.

Umm that can't be right! Is there something wrong with the algorithm?

No,  of course not, it's Genius Built ™  his own brand and he does not make mistakes.

But then if he assumes it's right,  that opens another can of worms,  because that means, he spent five days working without a single break,  then he took a six minute long trip just in then out of the kitchen then spent another five days working?!

That's insane! Impossible! That means he spent ten days without obliging to any life functions such as sleeping,  eating or even using the bathroom. (Hm,  being Krang is awfully convenient when it comes to getting stuff done.)

And Pizza Supreme he doesn't wanna think about how long he forgot to take a shower!

Going ten days without food should be impossible to begin with even when one owns superior mutant genes.

This is that thing's (It's still you dum dum) work!

Donnie mutters a few curses under his breath, but regardless the pain he feels in his shell and the uncomfortableness that ties his stomach into knots, it's time for him to get out of his head. Whatever (Namingly Krang  DNA) is messing with his thoughts might get better if he takes a step back from his tunnel vision-like state and spends time with his family.

Also,  he would never,  even in a bazillion years would admit,  but he was missing them. Even though being with them might cause more harm than good. Not for him! He does not concern himself with his own well being anymore,  as it's clearly visible from the amount of caffeine he just  inhaled,  and the whole starving himself to death ordeal. But his brothers… To be honest he's terrified.  ~From what?~ That they find out. That they'll hate him! They'll be scared! They have all the right to be. He's one of THEM . And yet he shamelessly lives under the roof of the noble heroes who saved the word. ~You helped too!~ That wasn't me, that's who I used to be! A person,  not a half baked monster! I am merely the impostor of the sibling they lost. ~You are still you!~ Prove it,  I won't believe you!

With that lovely little chat with the voice that lives rent free in his head,  the genius pushed himself out of his seat.

Bad idea! His legs almost buckled under him with all the grace of a newborn deer. Both of his lower limbs felt like jelly. 

Which is really not that surprising given that he literally sat in his chair for five days straight. Honestly, that he can stand up at all is the real surprise. It must have to do something with that cursed DNA.

It takes unnervingly little to adjust back to walking. All logic and knowledge about how biology (It's not his field,  just because he's smart he doesn't have to possess all the knowledge of all subjects of this word. He doesn't want to put Google out of business after all.)   supposed to work screams at him that this is not possible,  but it's happening. Not long before he used to believe that science was the only and superior law of the word. 

Welp,  that belief is rapidly deteriorating. Seems like the  Krang managed to taint everything he ever liked. 

Oh,  how he wishes this cursed reality,  his new body away!

The softshell walks the dark hallways. Sure,  he could've switched the light on,  but lately he became very repulsed by certain lights. He liked to keep everything around him either pitch black or just dimly lit. 

Why? It's simple. Because he hated it! He hated how it was so low on stimuli,  how his brain could only concentrate on the task before him,  how that was driving him mad,  wanting to expand,  seek,  connect,  learn.~ 

With other words it was perfect! It worked. It made the thing in him whine in agony. (Forget about the price that he also whined in agony.) So,  in his twisted mind that was ok.

He was nearing the kitchen. Soft light leaked out through the  opening that served as a doorway. Honestly he doesn't know who's idea it was to dim the lights in the room, (Probably his twin,  he is the one who has that much sense.)  but oh shell he was appreciating it.

He heard as joyful chatter filled the place. He couldn't quite make out the exact words that have been exchanged,  but he was certain that the conversation mainly consisted of joking between Angelo and Nardo. It was their voice on a constant loop.

Honestly it kinda made his head (and heart) hurt. He felt excluded,  exiled,  just a mere viewer,  not a participant. He was left out.

No,  he chose to shut himself out. ~You chose this!~ The annoying voice in the back on his mind spoke again,  and if he could,  he would've hit that god damn brain bug. Maybe he will. Maybe he will bang his head into a concrete wall.

But,  not now,  not here! He doesn't want anyone to worry about him.

He gets a hold on himself and forces his feet forward.

The sweet smell of heavenly food fills the air. Floating teasingly to the purple brother's nostrils upon entering Mikey's shrine. 

There are his brothers. 

Mikey stood right beside the stove still spooning some soup into a bowl with a big ladle.

Leo gingery sat at the further side of the table with one leg comfily propped up.  The guy might have lost his ability to move his leg,  given that his muscles got torn and severed to the point when it became un-fixable,  but not lost general feeling in the limb, so he often got pins and needles if he left it hanging for a long period.

Lastly Raph. The big guy sat on the opposite side as Leo,  leaving quite the distance between them. It was also unignorable how the snapper avoided eye contact with the slider or that he  only engaged in conversation when the box turtle prompted it.

It just gave an extra uncomfortable tang to the already excruciating mood of the room. 

"Oh,  look who's blessing us with his presence! Good to see you DonTron I was starting to think you died." Greeted the slider.

" I wish… "Grumbled  the softshell under his breath.

Thankfully no one picked up on what he said. That would've ended up with him having unwanted attention and the last thing he needed was his brothers being at his shell 24/7. He doesn't even know why he said it at all.

Donnie pulled up a chair and sat beside his twin. Truth to be told he doesn't want to sit beside Leo. Not beside his twin who suffered so much because of the Krang. The one who is never gonna walk again. Not when he's the very reason he's like that. ~We did nothing!~

"I'm Krang!"

But it's not like sitting beside Raph would be any better. Poor guy suffered enough and the softshell doesn't wanna make his big brother's ever growing paranoia get worse.

The only person that could be a reasonable option would be Mikey. He's the only one who escaped this hell without personal grudge against the Krang. 

Sure he hated their guts,  and would whoop those ugly chewing gum’s butt back to the prison dimension any time for hurting his family and destroying his home,  but there wasn't particularly anything that had been done with the little turtle. (Thanks Pizza Supreme!)

But that begs the question: Does this need to be changed for the worse? Mikey doesn't have Krang inflicted trauma,  so he,  his big brother should be the one to give him one?!

No, no absolutely no! Don't even go near sweet sweet Angelo!

So,  sitting next to his twin it is. Besides,  they usually sit like that,  because if Donnie doesn't,  then Leo will whine about how his twin doesn't love him and as much he wouldn't admit (Well, not on a daily basis at least.) for shell sake he fucking does! 

Therefore,  unless the twins are in a war against each other, they always save a seat for one another. Well,  not in the household because there is no need for it. Even if someone was sitting beside one of the twins,  the person immediately jumps up and offers their place as soon as the other one of the pair walks in. It's a sweet gesture really.

The genius is dragged out of his head as he gets a plate of fried eggs with plain rice at the side. (This is a Japanese household,  they eat rice at least twice a day.  There is nothing weird about it ok?) The others have rice omelet and Leo got pancakes as he would always whine if he didn’t receive any sweet treat alongside the main dish. 

The omelets were personalized as well. The  slider's drizzled with ketchup,  the snapper's dunked in mayonnaise and the little box turtle's had sophisticated seasoning as topping. His was different because omelet was one of the things Donnie couldn't deal with. It was a texture hell in his mouth. The way the rice grains mixed with the squishy egg just made him throw up. So he appreciated the way how his little brother always been thoughtful enough to cook separately for him. 

Donnie took a fork in his hand and began to dissect the food. He really doesn't want to eat. It made his skin crawl. If he ate, the thing was fed as well. Of course it was since the thing was him.

But now that he was bullied into coming to the kitchen there were no excuses. Or at least not ones that could get him out without word war 3 breaking out.

"....and then Barry were all like: No way that's how it works!” Mikey's cheery voice seeped through the cracks of the sofshell's dark mentality.

" Aww,  man! I wished I was there to see his face. I'm sure it was priceless! What do you think, big guy?” Spoke the slider pointing a fork at Raph.

"Umm… yea.. Sure,  Raph agrees?" 

Ok,  good to know Donnie is not the only one who wasn't following the conversation.

"And you Dee? What do you think? Was the trouble worth Barry's reaction?” The orange kid prompted,  turning all attention towards the genius,  who still yet to take a bite from his food.

" Um,  yeah sure, agree!” The softshell replied brain on autopilot as he was getting distracted by an annoying urge to just gobble up everything including the repulsingly textured dishes.

"Yea ok you are not even here!" Mikey complained.

"I'm! If you failed to realize  dear bredren I sit right here." Protested the purple brother.

"Sure,  your body's here,  but that's all we deserve after days of not even seeing you?!” The box turtle scolded with a hint of Dr Delicate touch in his voice.

And ok,  the little one got a point. They deserve so much better than an echo of a brother. A pitiful copy. But he is one. What could he do about that?!

He's the one who's supposed to fix everything. But he can't fix this! He can't! He can't! He can't!He can't!He can't!

A little nudge on his side broke out the genius from his spiraling thoughts. It was his twin . He noticed it?! What would he notice?! There is nothing to notice!

 But again this is Leo,  his self proclaimed twin who apparently did prove to have a very accurate twin sense. Did he figure Donnie out already?!

Panic slowly began to engulf every muscle in the softshell's body. But he swallowed hard and tried to be reasonable about it. He scanned his twin's face. He might've been bad at reading people,  but the slider wasn't people. He was Leo. And well, Leo was Leo.

Donnie had sixteen years to thoughtfully analyze every little twitch of muscle,  change in voice pitch or posture to be able to read in his twin like an open book. At the very beginning of their lives, the blue brother became the measurement of emotions for the genius. 

Whenever emotions came into play the softshell looked at his twin,  the only one he could read,  then he compared everyone else's facial expressions and body language to his,  to get a good grip on what the others felt.

Of course that was way back in their "tothood",  Donnie improved and data collected a lot. So he was able to read everyone's expressions a normal amount.

Still,  that didn't mean that old habits never took over him when he got a little lost reading others and stopped to stare at his twin for his passive guidance every once in a while.

So after taking a good look at his twin for reassurance and good measurement he could tell that everyone in the room was eyeing him with big worried eyes.

Something needed to be done! Honestly all the softshell wanted was to scramble away back to his lab and never emerge from it,  but that wasn't an option. Not when they'll get worried and then start to investigate, which would eventually lead to his demise.

" Apologies  Angelo,  I got a lot on my mind!” He tried to save some face.

Technically it was not a lie. He did have a lot on his mind. Mainly an annoying female-ish voice in the back of his mind chanting: Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~

For fuck sake how could he concentrate to anything?! He can't hear his own thoughts. And the damned pest in his mind only cares about food. (Of course it is,  you didn't eat for ten days boy!)

And he's getting real antsy. He barely recognised as his hand moves on its own and stabs the fork into the poor eggs over and over and over again.

And why did he do that?! Now his brothers are looking at him as if he has lost his mind. He did, but that's not the point here.

"Then let's hear what nerdy stuff keeps you busy!" Leo prompts and the other two agree with firm nods.

The slider clearly caught onto something that was wrong. Something is stressing out his twin.  

"What?!” Donnie barely manages to form words, even less understanding the ones said to him.

" Come on, I 'm literally asking you for an info dump bro. It's a one in a lifetime proposal! (Liar! Leo always asks for info bumps whenever he can't sleep and hangs in Don's lab.) Better take it Donald!" Teases the slider.

And ok an info bump sounds really nice. He does like to talk about his projects. Even if his brothers won't understand half of the big words he spits out it still feels nice to have an audience. Especially if the mentioned audience is interactive, so they ask questions, explanations of certain words or add their own suggestions. Even if those suggestions are rather silly,  sometimes they are just what he needs to get a spark of inspiration or a groundbreaking new solution.

So,  yes,  chances to infodump is always welcomed.

Except when you don't have a single project in mind,  just the misery of your own body dysphoria. Surely he could infodump about that, telling his brother how he's planning to starve himself,  how he almost every other day drives a knife through his skull,  how he keeps short circuiting his brain, how he didn't sleep for ten days…and he's scared,  and probably dying and it hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts,hurts,hurts,hurtshurtshurtshurtshurtsHURTSHURTSHURTSHURTSHURTS HURTSHURTSHURTS!!!!!!

~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~Protein!~

HURTSHURTSHURTSHURTSHURTSHURTSHURTSHURTSHURTSHURTSHURTS!!!

~Protein!~HURTS!HURTS!HURTS!Protein!~Protein!~HURTS!HURTS!~Protein!~HURTS!

Gentle hands touch the shoulder of the softshell. He winces and pulls away. He might hissed as well,  but he's not quite aware of what's happening around him or his own actions.

 Voices echoing around the blur that surrounds him. But it all feels far away,  almost like underwater. Voices he can not recognise or understand over the loud noise of his brain. The only thing clear is the constant chanting in his brain.

Suddenly he feels something slip onto his head. The pressure is nice,  but it blocks all the outside sounds. It trapps him with nothing but the noise in his head.

~Protein!~HURTS!HURTS!HURTS!Protein!~Protein!~HURTS!HURTS!~Protein!~HURTS!

It's getting louder and stronger.

Off with the device of his head,  he voicelessly begs. Body not moving to get the hellish thing off.

Hands approach him again,  gently brushing away the overstimulated tears to rid the blur in his eyes.

He's on the floor, not recalling when he got there.  A figure is in front of him. Green and blue and red stripes on his face. His twin…

His mouth is moving,  but Donnie can't hear a word from him. He might as well try to use his supreme lip reading skills.

His twin turns his attention away for a moment to speak with someone who's outside of the softshell's field of vision.

"G-e-t m-y p-h-o-n-e! I t-h-i-n-k t-h-e s-i-l-e-n-c-e m-a-k-e-s i-t w-o-r-s-e!” Reads the genius from Leo's lips.

Soon a big hand tightly wrapped in bandages could be seen from the corner of Donnie's eyes.  It was his oldest brother's. He handed a blue themed phone to the slider and a minute later the sounds of his familiar dubstep music filled his mindspace.

Oh right,  Leo , just like he, himself had a copy of his twin's favorite playlist. They often utilized it when the other one needed to calm down or comfort.

At first the music felt like the last drop in the glass. The genius thought his head was just gonna explode and all his CSF would flow out.

But after a hard second the loud noise of his own thoughts settled down. There was an occasional " ~Protein!~" popping up in the very back of his brain as a reminder that after ten days of starving he's yet to eat,  and apparently the wretched pest that was his own consciousness ( Or something similar to that.) desperately craved a specific kind of macronutrient. That much was made clear,  yeesh! 

But it was alright now. Pizza Supreme who would've thought one day Donnie won't be able to put it into words how much he appreciates his twin? ( He doesn't think he's ever gonna tell him,  but let's appreciate the sentiment.)

The music dimmed and the genius finally could assess the situation.

He was sitting on the kitchen floor Leo is in front of him,  placing both of his hands lightly at the softshell's knees. He didn't put any weight onto it though,  ready to retreat his grubby paws at any given time if they began to cause discomfort instead of reassurance.

On his left side stood Raph, cracking his knuckles as he worriedly hovered,  seemingly disturbed by the fact he wasn't much of a use at the moment.

Right side was taken by Angelo. The little one had tears gathering in the corner of his eyes.

Ok,  this is bad,  they are super worried. He needs to do something. Say something!

But his tongue feels like lead in his mouth. His jaw is all stiff and won't open. 

If this goes on… Theymight get suspicious. Not about him being a Krang,  but just generally about something. And then he won't be able to stop the landslide.

"Come on mouth corporate! Move,  speak god damn it! It's not hard! It's supposed to be easy!”

~Move~

"Oh, sorry about that brethren!” The genius spoke with a weird somewhat weak voice with a hint of - hell knows where did it come from - female tone.

The brother trio looked shocked. But they could never ever be more surprised than the softshell himself.

How could he not? He just spoke. With tongue still weighed down to sit at the bottom of his mouth, with no feeling like if his vocal cords were moving ... .A voice spoke, his mind. A voice that was like a recording,  a mixture of a  broken copy of his own and some unknown female vocaloid rip off.

The thing in his mind… The thing that is his own consciousness,  yet separate from him, took control and executed the command.

That's  a clue. A magnificent one. Seems like the Techno Drone retained its computer like behavior essentially passing it to Donnie.

If it's a piece of tech he might be able to work with it. He might can rewire or program his own brain.

Now the softshell is tempted to just disappear back to his lab and mess with his cerebrum, but as much as he wants to he can't. He has three currently very worried brothers staring at him as if it was his funeral.

"What was that Don?! Yer got Raph freakin' out!” Spoke the snapper.

" Just an Off Day." 

Ok now he has broken out the big guns calling an Off Day.  And he only feels a little- just mediocre- ok,  a lot guilty.

Calling an Off Day is like holy and sacred. To think he'll ever abuse it. 

Off Day is when Mikey's hands tremble so much he can't cook or draw and he feels like he's worthless. So he needs someone to keep his mind off things aaaand a lot of cuddles.

Off Day is when Raph suddenly remembers that he almost killed his little brother(s) and gets the idea of him being a monster stuck in his own  head. Thus they have to struggle to not let the big guy push them away and reassure him he is far from a monster.

Off Day is when Leo's all attempts of denying the existence of his unfunctional sad excuse of a leg fails. When reality slaps him in the face reminding him that he'll never walk, let alone ninja again and he crumbles. Times when the softshell just sits and helplessly holds his twin.

Off Day is when Donnie is dancing on the edge of a shutdown or overstimulation. A time when he doesn't wanna hear or experience more than perhaps quiet whispers of reassurance or have some silent companion.

Off Day existed since they were tots. Although it did not include so much PTSD and self loathing back then.

" Omigosh,  Dee,  why didn't you tell me! I wouldn't have dragged you out of your lab if I knew ! " The box turtle whisper yelled.

" I wanted to keep my promise. Also,  you don't need to whisper,  normal speech is quite alright,  just don't yell or speak over each other." Supplied the genius and his three brothers nodded.

"But yer could've told us and then we would have kept the noise down at the table." Spoke the red brother.

" I thought I could power through it…"

"Don that's…" Raph began,  but got interrupted.

"That's a great Big guy! But let's concentrate on the comfort part. So,  what will it be, Donald? Do you wanna go back to your tech cave or watch a Jupiter Jim movie together on low volume?" Asked Leo.

The softshell knew the answer. He knew what's right. He should go back to his lab,  tucked away securely,  so he can not harm his brothers.

But there are two gentle hands on his knees… There is a soft smile on his twin's face with all the understanding and care of the entire wide world. So familiar,  yet light years away from the showboating grin the slider usually keeps on display.

And it just scratches all the sweet spots in his brain,  making him forget he's nothing but a vile monster. Suddenly,  for just a minute he melts back being a tiny tot surrounded by love and warmth of his bale.

And then his mouth spoke the truth. The one that was hidden even from him,  himself.

" Jupiter Jim and the Seven Galaxies?" He asks.

" Jupiter Jim and the Seven Galaxies." Confirms the slider as he grabs his crutches and disgracefully pulls himself up.

The blue turtle sends a look towards the little one who nods then speeds away to grab the purple brother's  "untouched" (It was touched,  it was stabbed a million times.) plate of food.

Then Leo turns his attention towards the big guy. Their eyes only meet for a moment before Raph sheepishly turns his gaze away, not noticing or not wanting to notice the hurt look on the slider's face.

 But the red brother  regardless, moving according to the unspoken command. He holds a hand out,  and when there is no signs of aversion he hoists up the genius to his feets.

What a joke! He gets helped up?! When he has both of his legs present and functional? Well,  not really his feet,  it's Krang's now… Nope that's not right it's his feet but he's a Krang now. There you go! 

Things lately feel a bit messed up in his brain. Everything is familiar and yet not at the right place. It's kinda like when an earthquake hits the archive. Everything is still there but mixed and dislocated till the point, it is unrecognizable.

And he hates the mess. Especially if it's in his own damn brain. 

Could this be the fault of the parasite? The one that is formed from -probably- the technodrome and his own subconscious….

Before he noticed he sat in the projector room. Comfortably squeezed in between his twin and little brother with his plate of food in his lap. 

The annoying pest in his brain chimes in once again. ~Protein~  

"Fine, you damned torn in my side - or brain for what that matters,  it's important it be accurate- you can have your stupid protein!”

And with that the purple brother grabs his fork,  stabs the poor egg one last time,  the hundredth time,  lifts it up and swallows it whole. (Good to know he still has his softshell quirks.) Then with barely taking a breath he gobbles up the second then the third and lastly pours the entire miniature hill of rice down his throat.

" Happy now?!”

The voice keeps silent.

"Great."

Now the genius brings back his attention to his brothers who stare at him in shock and awe.

Thankfully none of them dares to say a word.  Probably thinking that it's better than not eating.

So the movie night or well afternoon can begin.

Chapter Text

The second movie begins and everybody gets super focused. Everyone except Donnie who can't take his eyes off Leo's basket of chicken wings.

The annoying voice is back at demanding more ~Protein~. The cursed thing! How much will satisfy its hunger? His hunger? But to be fair he did not eat for ten days and seemingly starving is not an option. 

He's kinda concerned about what would happen if he refused to eat for too long. Would the thing take over and force feed him? He doesn't really wanna find out.

His intense staring caught his twin's attention who offered a chicken wing with a lil bit of an annoying grin.

The genius takes it regardless of the irritating expression of the slider and down it goes. Except it's wrong. This wasn't like eggs or rice,  he wasn't supposed to swallow it bones and all! 

Yea,  sure he did eat small fishes like the pet goldfishes in their  childhood  alive with bones still inside. But fish bones were significantly different from chicken,  both in thickness and density. Even if he was fine swallowing the less thought bones,  he's not supposed to be capable of digesting ones this hard. 

And Leo, the family's medics, knows. And Donnie knows that Leo knows. And given the slider's expression,  Leo knows that Donnie knows that he knows. 

AAAAaaaaaagh! This makes his damned brain hurt! The panic is probably visible on the softshell's usually deadpan face,  because his twin gives him a sympathetic look,  then almost sheepishly hands over another chicken wing.

The purple brother takes it and he sees   as Leo hand signs : Don't swallow it! Chew! Bones staying!

And ok Donnie is unbelievably thankful that his twin did not alert their other brothers or asked questions. 

Therefore the purple turtle just nods,  to reassure his brethren that no more bone is about to be consumed,  which seems to satisfy the guy as he turns his attention back to the movie only sparing a glance every once in a while to the genius.

One movie turned into two then the two becomed three and it went on and on,  till eventually the entire afternoon and evening was spent in front of the projector.

At some point Mikey speeded away and came back with pizza to eat for dinner. Which was an amazing choice,  because it was pizza,  their favorite dish. Something that won't raise any suspicion if he gorges down an entire box to finally sooth that damned parasite. Or so he thought. After eating three family sized extra meaty pizza all by himself he started to get a few concerned looks. 

He still wasn't nearly satisfied, which was kinda upsetting, but he refrained from eating any more of the food.

Of course it's just temporary. He has a plan to claim the tasty prices at a later,  (preferably at midnight) occasion.

The movie night proceeds. And as soon as they reach the 7th one the "weaker" individuals,  namingly Raph and Mikey fall asleep. Usually the sleepover rule would be to grab a permanent marker and draw on the faces of the "fallen soldiers" just you know… as a sign of respect,  but he has  no time for that. He has a tough competitor. He turns to check on his twin and...huh?! He's asleep?! Did he take some meds or something? Donnie wouldn't know.

He quickly pulled up his wrist tech to check his brother's vitals. 

Everything was normal. He seemed to be just barely asleep,  as his pulse did not drop deep enough to be in NREM,  but that's not strange,  his brother was always a light sleeper.

Ok,  this is a great opportunity to peel himself from under a tiny box turtle draped across his legs and sneak into the kitchen.

If he does this right no one will suspect he ate the remaining 4 box’s content.  Gosh,  Mikey always orders way too much pizza. Like 12 family sized ones.

And to think Donnie ate 3 and planning to eat additional 4,  -which makes 7-  will mean he alone ate more pizza than his three brothers together. 

Just what the shell is going on with this intense hunger?! He just hopes he won’t end up gaining weight. Not like he was super concerned about keeping a slender figure as Leo,  but surely it would raise some questions if he suddenly beat Raph’s weight record,  which wouldn't be healthy for his secret.

But back on track! No one will suspect him because Raph is a sleep binge eater. And the guy was in a perfect position on the couch to just make his way to the kitchen,  in his sleep and destroy the pizzas.

The softshell feels a teeny tiny guilt for blaming the food’s disappearance on his oldest brother,  but it’s not like anyone got angry at the guy if he does that. And he’ll figure out something to secretly make up for his big brother. Maybe he can upgrade his training dummies?

The genius slips into the kitchen. He does not switch on the light. Surprisingly he sees perfectly well in the dark. That’s concerning,  but that’s a problem  for later.

~Feast!~ The voice rang and Donnie really loved to give it a good old smack. But he can’t because how do you hit a voice in your head?

The purple turtle opens the fridge and Pizza Supreme in the skies his retinas are set aflame from the kitchen appliance’s light. He stumbles back till his battle shell hits the kitchen island in the middle of the room. It takes quite the time for his eyes to adjust,  black spots dancing across his vision.

“Note to self: Let’s never do that again!”

Finally his pupils adjusted into the right size and he can see his prize(s) in the fridge.

He really should spend more time figuring out what’s going on with his vision,  although he has a theory that now his pupils can narrow,  dilate in a wider range and the temporary “discomfort” was the byproduct of a sudden drastic change.

He opens a box and quickly tucks the pizza slices into his mouth,  greedily swallowing it like a starving man. Oh wait,  it’s not “like”,  he is one. 

He was half way done with the pizzas when a voice rang behind him:

“Wow,  someone is being extra hungry today!”

The softshell turned his head with a neck break speed (Ha!) and with terror in his eyes he stared at the slim figure in the kichen’s doorway.

It was Leo. How did he get here so silent?

Oh,  there was a faint blue light fading behind him and instead of his crutches he was leaning on one of  his Odachies. So,  he portaled. Sneaky little je…

That doesn’t matter, he was SEEN! SEEN!SEEN!SEEN!SEEN!SEEN!SEEN!SEEN!SEEN! SEEN!SEEN!SEEN!SEEN!

“Come on don’t look at me if I caught you burying a corpse! Give me that slice - it’s Hawaiian anyways- and my mouth is shut.” The slider spoke lightheartedly,  but there was a certain concern that hid beneath his facade.

Donnie relaxed his shoulders. It was fine. It was just Leo, his dum dum twin who took secrecy and “snitches get stitches” very seriously.

The softshell thanked whatever deity he didn't believe that it was just his twin. As much as he hated to admit it,  they were similar. He understood Leo and Leo understood him. (Mostly) So he felt just a bit more comfortable now that his better half was present.

The purple turtle handed a pineapple abused, sad excuse of a pizza slice to his blue brother and they ate in silence. Only their chewing echoing through the kitchen. That was until the slider decided to speak up.

“Dee, are you alright?”

The younger twin stared at the older wide eyed. Was he alright?! No,  of course no,  he wanted to answer. But he couldn’t. It’s not like Leo could fix it so why worry his “handsome” head with his folly.

“And what about you? I thought you were asleep.”

 Welp, that's prime twin behavior there. Avoid answering the question by diverting the conversation to the other one. Hoping they have more to hide than themselves or they get upset and leave them be.

“I didn’t sleep, I was watching you.”

(Ok not creepy at all,  Leo…)

“Watching me?!”

“Yea,  you seemed out of it today. I’m kinda…. Kinda… Worried, you know…. And I understand if you don’t want to talk,  but I wanted to let you know that if there is ANYthing I’m here to listen.”

Sweet Galileo,  that caught the softshell off guard! Not the mental pressuring double combination attack of “ I understand if you don’t want to ” and “ I’m here to listen .” He always had a weak spot for those. It’s a mind trick telling him that he doesn’t have to and makes him feel obligated to do it in the end.

And then suddenly he sees his twin’s hand hovering above his. The genius knows he  could and should pull his hand away,  not allowing his twin to break even more of his carefully crafted mental walls,  but at the same time his body doesn’t listen to him.

And Leo goes for the kill and grabs the softshell’s hand squeezing it, grounding the genius.

Agh,  this is not fair! It’s not fair to send him down to memory lane like the fifth time in under 24 hours. But it is so nostalgic.The way his twin’s hand anchored him to safety didn’t change since they were tots.

And now the dam is cracking under the urgent need for comfort.

“But seriously,  what’s wrong Tello?” The slider asks,  looking into Donnie’s eyes like if he could see right through them and stare directly into the softshell’s brain.

And god,  not the childhood nickname! He can’t… He is tired. He’s scared. Hurt, battered and bruised all over. He feels so small. He thinks he’s dying…. DyingdyingdyingdyingdyingdyingDYINGDYINGDYING DYINGDYINGDYING !

And then before he could think twice his mouth moved and words rolled off his tongue.

“Did Angelo tell you what happened in the Techno Drone?” 

“Vaguely. He said something about that you became the ship. But other than that he didn’t really made any sense.”

“The Techno Drone was more just a spaceship. It was…..alive….. It was sentient.” - Why was he telling this to his twin? - “ When I connected to it I…. I accessed what felt like all the information of the universe. It was everything I ever wanted to know and even more.” - Stop it! Don’t tell him! - “ When I…. I got yanked away…. it left me with this…. this unexplainable void. Like if I have all the knowledge of the world right at my fingertips but can’t grasp it. Like I could see it all but never can reach it. Locked in a glass cage where I never have a taste of it again.” - No more! Do you wanna throw everything away?! You’ll ruin everything! - “ The Techno Drone it…. it…” 

- It turned me into a Krang. - Say it! Tell him! Make the house of cards collapse! Do it coward! 

I won’t! I can’t! I’m scared! I’m scared!I’m scared!I’m scared! I want out! ~But isn’t this what we desired?~

And despite the softshell should know better,  he felt trapped. Cornered,  not by his twin,  but by his own internal debate. 

He wanted to get this off his shoulders and take it to the grave at the same time. He was like a rat in a maze. (With all respect to Splinter.) 

Helpless,  clueless,  lost,  hopeless and he wanted a way out! Out! Out!Out!Out!Out! Out!Out!Out!OUT!OUT! OUT!OUT!OUT!

Suddenly white hot pain pierced his shell beneath the artificial one. Lungs feeling like they are entangled in barbed wire. Breathing became a near impossible endeavor. 

Then they were moving. Once again,  tentacles beneath his leathery softshell were digging holes into his tender flesh,  marching from his core towards the surface.

He heard Leo’s voice. Too far,  muffled like if he was hearing it from the deep water. It really felt like he was underwater with the way his lugs seized.

It’s just a matter of time for the ugly pink appendages to surface. On a better day,  if he was in his right mind he could pull up some fancy equation and calculate the exact amount of time he had before those vile things broke the skin surface,  but who would he be kidding?!

 His mind is filled with big red flashing lights and doomsday sirens screaming ” OUT!” on repeat like a broken record.

He has to get away. It’s not safe! ~For who?~ For no one! It’s not safe for his secret,  for his twin,  for him… Why was he so scared?

“Sorry,  I can’t do this!” Donnie barked out the best he could through a cotton filled mouth. (There was no actual cotton in his mouth,  but surely he even could feel the texture.)

Leo seemed to be taken aback by the sudden change of mood,  but he did nothing to stop the softshell when he abruptly pushed himself up and fled the scene with a mad dash.

Seemingly the slider needed some time to even realize what happened as the genius heard his twin calling his name when he was halfway across the lair.

“Took too long , Nardo!” He grumbled in himself almost if he wished his twin would’ve stopped him.

But it was too late and no matter how pleading and desperate the blue brother’s voice sounded,  no matter how much it made the purple one’s heart ache in a familiar way,  just like when they were little and his twin got injured,  he wouldn’t falter.

He knew it was unfair towards Leo. It was an ass move. The guy couldn’t follow him even if he wanted to. Not without his crouches. And even though he had his odachi,  it would’ve been hard to find a place in the kitchen  to support the slider’s weight as he swung his sword. 

And even if he managed to do that,  as long as the softshell reached the lab and closed the door,  he was safe. The lab was made portal proof a little while ago. (Courtesy of Draxum.)

The purple turtle entered the lab and collapsed to the floor. The previous shot of adrenalin,  that enabled him to move at all,  slowly draining out of him.

The door,  he needs to shut the door! He needs to activate the lockdown protocol! But he can’t move. Every inch of his body is held hostage by the immense agony.

~Activating lockdown protocol,  code: 01010000 01100001 01101110 01101001 01100011 ~

And the door shut tight,  locks turning into place and red light filling the room.

He would question it. The way how his tech seemingly read his thoughts,  how he shut the doors with sheer willpower,  but he was in no state to think.

Soon the agony grew unbearable. He bit down hard making his mouth bleed from the pressure and then it happened. The tentacles pierced through his soft shell and got trapped beneath his metallic one.

Pizza Supreme he feels like he every day invents a new kind of pain. Each is more unbearable than the previous.

The appendages wiggle beneath the battle shell,  brushing against the tender freshly ripped flesh,  sending jolts of pain through his spine,  stabbing right into his brain,  strong and destructive like a wrecking ball.

And if that was not enough of a punishment for being selfish and spending the night with his brothers,  despite being aware of the threat he poses,  he could FEEL THE TENTACLES! 

They were just as sore as the punctured holes,  torturously pulling the open wounds with each movement and they were pushing against the artificial shell,  seeking a way out. 

They were force feeding all this weird,  indecipherable sensations to his brain. He could feel the taste of the metal through them and it stung like if he licked a battery. Buzzing and throbbing,  feeling burning hot,  upon touch, but the appendages did not back down. 

They relentlessly kept pushing,  trying to escape the suffocation they were experiencing under that shell.

Donnie could feel it too,  his head was all light and dizzy as if breathing oxygen through his mouth and nose became insufficient and his lungs burned just like if he breathed in smoke.

He heard a loud crack and the next thing he perceived was his metallic shell launched into the air then hitting the ground inches from his snout with a loud clang.

The pain reduced to half and the oxygen circulated through his body once again.

He knew that those tentacles had grown out of his back,  he could feel as they were carefreely dancing their victory dance,  mocking his pitiful situation.~ Why would they do that?~ They are you!~  We are you!~ Then STOP HURTING  US ME!

The softshell really didn’t want to look at the upsetting new anatomical development he had,  but some morbid curiosity took over him. He stared at his battelsell. Curse that he just polished the thing,  making it reflective as a mirror,  he could see in FHD the vile flesh vines. 

It looked so wrong,  so grotesque. Like if torn out muscle fibers were twitching. It reminded him of a lizard tail that got ripped off. No longer part of the body but still jerks uncontrollably.

And shell,  that concept was upsetting,  it made him sick in the head,  sick in the stomach and gag.

He reaches for the boxcutter on his desk,  alarming thoughts swarming in his head. 

He’ll get rid of them! He has to ! Now!

Then a loud knock echoed through the eerily silent lab.

“Dee,  mi hermano? I know you in there, could you open the door,  please?” Leo’s voice rang.

Ok that was strange on multiple levels. First the slider knocked instead of trying to barge in like an uncultured crook.

Second,  he asked for permission (Asking Donnie to open the door was basically the same as asking permission to enter.) and on top of that he did it politely?!

What the…?! Is the word ending?! Is this a doppelganger?! 

Either way he definitely won’t be letting his twin inside. Not when he has four tentacles wiggling viciously poking out from his softshell and definitely not when he grasps a box cutter as if it was his lifeline.

He’s just about to tell his brother (as cruel as it is) to kindly fuck off, when the older twin probably sensing he’s about to be chased away- cursed twin sense- speaks once again.

“Come on Don Tron! I really don’t wanna say a word about this matter to Raph and Mikey,  but I swear I will if you don’t let me in!”

Oh yea,  never mind there is his twin! Threatening him to pull out the big guns is such a Nardo thing to do to get his ways.

But for shell’s sake,  that would be the last he’d need. A worried little brother and  the  motherhenning oldest. 

He’s still better off with just the slider,  than the youngest and the oldest. Yep, that would be a disaster! 

So now, as blood boiling as it is, he's gonna put up a front,  let his twin in for whatever business he’s here for and somehow hang on till he leaves. Maybe he can make him leave. He always finds a way if he wants to…

“Fine,  wait a sec Nardo!” He yells making sure his twin doesn’t actually consider going to the red- orange duo.

The softshell barely manages to sit up and pull his battle shell close to him. His entire body feels like it’s made from jello,  not to mention the sharp pains.

The genius struggles to put on the artificial shell as the tentacles vigorously protesting, sending jolts of white hot pain through his spine each time they touch the metallic surface.

Donnie almost passes out a couple times, his brow is sweating from the great effort by the time when the metal shell finally clicks shut. 

The purple turtle releases a pained breath he didn’t know he was holding then climbs up into his chair and takes a breather.

Shell, if just touching them was this painful Donnie has no hope of cutting them off. He would pass out as soon as the blade would scratch the surface of the pink appendage.

He pulls up his lab door camera,  which shows that his brother in blue is still standing there. Interesting,  Leo wasn’t known for his patience and shame on him but this endeavor took him longer than he’d be comfortable admitting it.

Welp,  no other way out, he might as well just get over with it. 

The softshell pushes a button to open the lab’s door,  biting down a pained whine when he slumps back to the chair.

He has to act like there was nothing wrong. But that’s hard when you feel like your nerves are on fire, your lungs are out of oxygen and this pressure on your back keeps driving you insane. Cursed tentacles why can’t they settle down?!

“Hey Dee! You left in a hurry so I thought I should check on you before you decide to not show your face for another ten days.” The slider walked in,  body language unnaturally tense,  yet he tried to act so casual.

“Wha-...”the air suddenly escaped his lungs and he had to force a breath to be able to speak again. “What do you want? Because if you came here to make me talk about what I stared in the kitchen…”

“No,  no! I’m not here to interrogate you! I’m not that insensitive! You just seemed stressed,  so I decided to do the Comfort Speech. Especially since you defo not slept for….like…like… forever.”

“Oh,  so this is what it was all about. Comfort Speech? Pizza Supreme, why does Nardo have to be this sweet and caring right now?!” The genius thought to himself.

Actually don’t answer that! He knows. He knows that his twin noticed his  distress and tries his best to help.

And Comfort Speech was their go to method of shutting up dark,  loud and unnecessary thoughts.

It was an easy practice really. Basically if one of them were troubled by unwanted thoughts,  the mentioned individual either would go into speech mode, to organize his thoughts while  the other one listened or the one not struggling would speak till their  blabber became the only thing in the other’s head essentially chasing away the bad thoughts.

Shell,  he feels like a jerk now,  but the tentacles keep pushing against their “prison” and Donnie has no idea how long he can keep a scream of pain pushed down,  so he has to get rid of his twin ASAP!

“Ok,  so what will it be? Would you like to info dump about whatever you’re working on or should I be your late night radio?”

Knowing damn well he won’t be able to open his mouth without letting loose some pained whines he chooses silence.

An info dump is out of question. Not just because he’s scared to separate his tightly clenched lips,  but because he can’t really make a single coherent thought aside from ”IT HURTS!”.

He lifts his heavily shaking hands and signs “ You ” to Leo.

“ Ok,  not feeling chatty. I got cha! Then I’ll do the honors. By the way, since I am a wonderful,  amazing, phenomenal,  number one twin,  I let you choose the topic I’ll talk about! Ask for anything me hermano! The remote is in your hands,  so switch the frequency wherever you’d like!”

This is getting out of hand! The tentacles are already wiggled their way to the edges of the battle shell.

The blue turtle needs to be out like yesterday! 

But he can’t just kick him out. Not because of moral reasons, not because he’d actually want him to stay - Definitely not that one (he said sarcastically)- but because his twin would definitely go to the other two.

“Think Donatello,  think! You’re a genius! A problem solver! Surely there is something you can use!”

Oho, there is an opening. A little mistake the slider made,  which will allow the softshell to get rid of him. -Even when he’d actually like him to stay.-

You see the only way to get out the intruder without making him run to the rest of the fam,  if he leaves of his own choice.

Now how to make him do that when he’s already comfortable on the spare bed? It’s easy! Make him talk about something so uncomfortable that he rather escapes with a cheap excuse.

It’s quite  dick move,  really. The purple turtle is likely gonna feel guilty about this for like forever,  but he has to do this! It’s his twin’s safety at stake. Besides, opportunity makes a thief. He shouldn't feel guilty (Oh,  he absolutely does.) for accepting what’s served on a silver platter to him.

The issue is,  that the slider is the faceman slash leader of the group,  which translates that he has thick skin on his face.

It’s not so easy to find a topic that will make him run for it. 

He could ask him to talk about all his gay business,  it always makes him a tad uncomfortable when it comes up when the family hangs out. That is expected though. It must be kinda awkward talking about gay stuff with people that are all super straight. 

Donnie imagines it as trying to talk about science with a monkey. (Just for the record,  he means a regular non mutated monkey.)

Yes,  nope,  yeesh,  that feels uncomfortable. No wonder Leo always talks about his gay matters with the resident lesbian big sister AKA April and her GF Cass.

However,  that level of discomfort won’t make the slider quit. Not when he wobbled all the way here with his crutches.

Then there is just one more topic. One that both of the twins avoids like the plague.

Talking about their problems. Yes,  yes! That will do it. Donnie knows it because if the roles were swapped he would escape as fast as lightning,  eeeexcept  maybe if his twin was dying. Maybe then he would stay and power through it. But otherwise,  there is no chance in hell!

The softshell pulls all his strength together to lift his hands and sign: “ Your problems.” 

The older twin’s eyes widen,  the grin froze off his face and his body goes uncomfortably stiff.

“Oh sweet Galileo help me I am going to hell for this!” The softshell notes it in himself.

Any moment now his twin can come up with a lame excuse and bolt,  but then something unexpected happens. Leo takes a deep breath opens his mouth and says:

“ Cool,  cool. I guess after I made you spill your tea it’s only natural you’re after mine. Ok,  I…. Can do that. (Shell,  I'm gonna do that?!)”

Donnie’s mind immediately paralyzes,  for a single second it even fails to realize the immense physical pain he is in.

”Whaaaaat?! He accepted?! Just like that?!”

Now the softshell saw a million and one possible outcome,  but he could never in his wildest dreams would’ve seen that coming.

Was Leo that concerned? Concerned enough to be determined to sit here with a “straight” (Ha!) face and talk about his issues?! Willingly?!

Oh Pizza Supreme,  this is serious! His twin was serious…

“But since I am a literal warehouse of issues, your topic choosing privileges ends there and I get to choose which problem I’ll talk about.”

The softshell just nodded. It really wasn’t like him to be this timid,  but to be fair it wasn’t like Leo to spill his secrets without a fight either. Usually it took hours of convincing to make him mutter a half sentence about his issues.

Besides the guilt of making his twin do this was eating him alive.

“Well,  ok… then… alright. Where do I even start? Hm… maybe at the beginning.” The slider rambled nervously.

Honestly Donnie was nervous too. Sure he asked his twin to do this and it’s not like he didn’t want to hear about his brother’s problems,  cause he did,  he always did,  he always wanted to be aware how and what can he fix,  but he was scared. Scared from the tentacles breaking free before the blue turtle could finish and scared from what he’ll hear as well.

But looks like they are doing this!

“I guess my biggest problem would be my leg. I mean it’s not hurting or anything…Don’t panic! But as you know and can see,  I can’t use it.” Leo grabbed his leg and wiggled it with his hands while he talked with an unreadable expression.

Oh yes,  the genius wouldn’t be able to forget it even if he wanted to.

Sure,  with the whole “I’m Krang now,  I’m fucked!” situation on hand he kinda sidetracked the project,  but he never ever forgot to brainstorm about it. About a solution to the slider’s leg problem.

“And I don’t think I’m emotionally ready to retire this young. Then… I know it’s my own fault…  But…ugh….Sometimes I….I wonder if it was better if… if  we just got rid of the leg? You know, getting a prosthetic… Junior said future you’s prosthetics were almost as good as real limbs.” Leo talked,  voice heavy and his words dragged out as he struggled to find them at all to speak.

Right,  a prosthetic. Donnie would be lying if he said he did not consider it. Heck he even whipped up some rough sketches, hoping to get some Leo and Mikey input later if push comes to shove and they remove the leg.

However there were a few issues with the robotics limb deal.

Like charging. A battery strong enough to make it as powerful as it needs to be for ninja business would be really heavy. 

Of Course future Leo with his size (According to Casey Jones Junior.) surely handled that arm like a champ,  but the softshell can’t help but doubt if his stick figure twin would be able to actually work with a leg so heavy.

Then there is the problem of waterproofing,  charging,  installing a port and of course removing the leg.

Do not misunderstand him,  he was the one that did the majority of his twin’s surgery.  He’s not scared to cut or stitch. It’s just… Maybe he’s just being a sentimental sap,  but getting rid of the leg when Leo still has senses  in it, - even if he can’t move it-  just feels wrong for some reason.

He also taught about a mechanical exoskeleton brace. But again,  fitting a battery in it would be hell of a work and it would be far more fragile than anything that’s safely could be allowed in a serious life and death fight.

Cause,  be serious for a moment,  just because they beat the Krang and currently most of their arch enemies laying low doesn’t mean they won’t come back tenfold as strong as they used to be.  

Aaaaaan you can never disbar the possibility of the appearance of new,  more powerful enemies.

Donnie almost lost all of his brothers. Not all together but,  he almost lost Raph to the Krang mind control, Mikey to the portal and Leo to the Prison Dimension.

And he did lose a part of himself to the Techno Drone. Damned thing took the majority of his actual flesh as some lottery prize. How lucky is that cursed shipp winning the part of the softshell that he himself has lost. Lost and now has no chance of getting back as the actual mothership alongside his flesh and blood was burned to ash when the Techno Drone blew up.

“But then I remember: Heck,  I wouldn’t be able to get my toe nails painted if I had a prosthetic. When April comes to do my nails she would be only able to paint my right leg and then my two legs were eternally mismatched. Oh,  by the way, April! She was here yesterday. You wouldn’t know it because you refused to answer the door or come out. Anyways she was telling me about Sunita. Apparently she got herself a blind date and the dude was a total creep. Wait, wait, you gotta hear what he did when they ordered food! He was all [...]”

And Leo was already spiraling off topic. It’s crazy how far he can go from the original one. If there is one thing (There are actually a lot of things.) that the softshell admires about his twin, it's his smooth transitions in between hopping topics that are a literal cliff apart from each other.

The slider was still talking, his voice became a soothing background noise. The subjects of his speech weren't interesting or complicated enough for the softshell to latch onto anything and painstakingly analyze every word,  but neither boring enough to just tune it out.

So the genius was stuck loosely following along the tales,  completely forgetting his own debates.

His twin’s voice was cheerful yet tempered with a metronome like methodical tempo. Just perfectly  equalized for the younger twin’s needs.

This went on for like an hour. Somehow Leo managed to drift from amputating his leg into the Battle Nexus’ latest hot gossip. (How did he know about those at all?! He hasn’t left the lair for months now.)

“Ok,  it seems like your big brain finally shut up!” Leo noted.

Oh Pizza Supreme,  it did!  And not just that,  but the immense pain he felt,  the suffocation,  the fear all of that was gone. Just like that.

He couldn’t feel the tentacles either. They no longer try to break free. 

Fuck! How did his twin do that?! Even better, why do the flesh vines suddenly decide to behave? Was it really connected to Leo or was it just a coincidence? 

“Welp” Leo yawned. “I think we are both good to go!”

“Where?” Asked the genius still baffled.

“To sleep smarty-pants! You might look a bit better now but I’m sure you’re super tired.”

“Why do you think that?”

“ Bro,  in the kitchen you looked like a literal ghost,  white as a sheet. I thought you could drop dead at any moment. If that’s not the sign of fatigue, then nothing is. Still I would feel bad if I dragged you into bed while your thoughts are this loud so I was all like Comfort Speech it is! It worked because you’re like six shades greener than back in the kitchen.”

Oh,  so that’s why Leo was so persistent. He looked like he was about to pass out?! 

Right,  why is he surprised by that?! He was tethering on the edge of actually blacking out from the pain.

The blue turtle stood up and using his crutches he wobbled to the door,  then motioned for his twin to follow.

Sleep. Sure,  he might need that. He hasn’t slept - apparently- for ten days in a row. And with the whole starving ordeal having that overeating adverse effect,  he really terrifies from the price of not sleeping for so long. He just hopes he won’t end up in a coma.

The softshell reluctantly stands up,  surprised to actually find the strength to do so and walks to his twin.

They both leave the lab,  the door shutting with a loud clang behind them.

“Ok Donald, you should try to catch some z’s,  I’ll do the same. G night!”

The slider walks away leaving the softshell once again alone with his thoughts.

He’ll go and get some sleep in a minute,  but first he must do something.

The genius heads to the bathroom. No one,  not even Raph can chew him up for taking a teeny tiny detour to the restroom. Especially given that he didn’t have such life functions for ten days and with the huge amount of food and fluid he devoured in the last half day, his organs were definitely kicking back in gear.

But using the bathroom for its intended purposes is just a side quest. He’s actually going there for a different reason.

He wants to see his back,  his shell. He needs to see the whole picture of how his soft carapace rearranged. As sickening as it is.

He enters the bathroom and turns the lock, the only legal lock in the Hamato household.

Now that no one can disturb him (They absolutely can.) he steps closer to the mirror above the sink.

Truth to be told,  it would be so much better if they had a full body mirror like the one in his lab or the even bigger one that his twin owns,  but Leo would probably spot him entering the lab and then he’d be in for a scolding about not sleeping. - Hypocrite.- 

Either way he has to do with the bathroom mirror. 

The softshell takes off his battle shell,  careful not letting it fall to the ground. He gingerly positions it on the brim of the bathtub then taking a deep breath turns around,  shell towards the mirror and glances at it.

Aaaaand there is…..nothing?! Well,  not nothing,  but nothing of sort he was expecting. No bloody injury or disgusting tentacles. Just four little black circles positioned similar as the spots on a dice would be,  stood at the place where tentacles danced viciously mere hours ago.

The genius inspects it from closer. The black circles have a pink cross in them creating four segments.

Donnie doesn't want to,  he really doesn't, but curiosity is the bitch that he was too accustomed with… So,  he positions both of his hands on the sides of the lower left circle and puts a little pressure onto the leathery shell around them.

His eyes grow wide when he sees the segments open like the pedals of a flower and the top of a revolting tentacle peaks out from beneath, wiggling lazily.

The soft shell struck by terror and his hands grew weak,  immediately releasing the pressure from the circle’s sides.

The flesh vine slipped back and the segments closed.

Donnie was sick to the stomach. Those things went inside him. They were retractable like a cat’s claws. Except he had no such thing as control over them. Now those things became a permanent addition to his anatomy.

Will this torture ever ends?! Will it go on till he won’t be able to hide the changes from his brothers? Or it won’t stop till he himself becomes unable to recognise his reflection in the mirror?

He’s scared! He’s changing! Day after day he gets farther from even resembling his old self. His flesh twisted and he fears his mind does as well. 

How long till he won’t be himself anymore? Is he still himself at all? He’s not just a copy of a copy, right?

Tought’s ramming into his mind like a wrecking ball,  his stomach churns and bile rises in his throat. He grasps the sides of the sink,  throwing up and heaving hard. Tears rolling down his cheeks and the weak legs that were supposed to keep him up right, would buckle beneath him if it weren’t for his vice grip on the sink.

He hates this! He was supposed to feel better and oh he did for a few minutes. Then all his twin’s hard work to calm him went up in flames,  because he had to take a look.

“Sorry Nardo,  I don’t think I’ll be able to  sleep anytime soon!”

Chapter Text

~Required rest time reached.~ ~ Powering on!~ ~All systems online!~

Donnie jolted awake in his bed. Breathing labored like if he was running for miles and cold sweat was drenching his entire bed. There was only one question in his mind: When the fuck he fallen asleep?!

He remembers dragging himself to his room,  his entire surroundings spinning like a carousel on steroids,  his eyes flickering and everything is a melting changing mirage. The whole experience felt as if he was trapped in a kaleidoscope which kept being turned and shaken by an invisible force. 

But that was kinda expected after saying hi to his halfly digested food at least six times for a chain of  panic attacks.

No matter how hard he tried,  he couldn’t take his mind of the unbearable sensation of motherfucking tentacles attached to him,  which kept inducing panic attacks until he was too tired to even do those.

As he watched the colorful hallucinations of their home ,  heading to bed,  he distantly wondered if dehydration sent him over to Wacky land. But he was too tired and his thoughts were too loud to do anything about the matter.

He is just gonna lie down in bed. Not like he could sleep. Not with the icky feeling,  not while knowing those things were sleeping,  seemingly unbothered by being trapped under his battle shell. When did he put that back on?

Then he crashed into bed and when he was trying to get at least a little bit comfortable he heard the pest back in his mind: ~ Exhaustion limit breached.~ ~ Initiating enforced power off.~

“Wait,  what?” Was his last thought before blacking out and now he was sitting on top of his bed burying his head into his hands.

“This is INSANE! HORRIFYING!”The thing just cut him off like that. It has absolute power over Donnie. It does as it wants. The genius is nothing more than a slave to its whims.

In the back of his mind he still knows that the thing is a part of him, but it has will of its own and not at the same time.It feels like if it was the suspiciously machine-like manifestation of his unconsciousness. 

Still data collection seemed to not calm him, not when he himself -in such an awful situation- was the subject.

He might as well venture into the kitchen to find a distraction. Any kind of distraction. Just let there be a distraction!

He heads to the kitchen hearing as plates clang and rattle with some happy music softly accompanying it in the background.

“Morning Angelo!” The softshell greets.

The little turtle spins around to look at him and to his surprise instead of returning the greeting the orange kid just giggles for a hard second.

“What? Did Nardo draw a male reproductive organ onto my face  again?! Because if he did I swear…”

“No, no! Sorry! There is nothing on your face I swear on my most expensive acrylic paints!”

“Ok……Then,  what is it?”

“It just… it’s silly! You said ‘Morning’ when it’s afternoon.”

The softshell looked at his gauntlet instantly turning into a statue. It said 5 pm. Calculations buzzing through his brain.

He’s sure he left his lab around 2 am and then the time he spent in the bathroom couldn’t be more than what -twenty? thirty?- minutes. But even if it was longer he’s definitely got knocked out (Courtesy of that damned parasite.) by 3 am. Which meant he slept 14 hours straight?! That’s not right. Sure,  Donnie unlike his twin usually could sleep if he wanted to,  but under the 16 years he had lived the absolute maximum amount of time he was able to sleep was 8 hours. Never more,  not even with a single minute.

So,  there is no way! No fucking way! 

You know what? Actually,  there is that way. How didn’t he see it coming?! 

He had a grimmer prediction in store as the price of 10 days sleep deprivation.Coma. So he really shouldn't be surprised over sleeping for 14 hours.

What’s more he should be grateful.

“Aaaaaand I wanted to wake you up for breakfast,  but Leo told me that you need your “ genius sleep”. Later I also heard him shoo away Raph from your room. Gosh you should’ve seen how he sat there like a guard dog making sure no one wakes you up. It was funny!” The orange kid continued.

“Oh,  that dum dum! He can’t keep his nose out of other people's business!”

“Come on Dee! It was thoughtful of him.”

“Rectulant sight! It was…”

“Oh,  right,  I almost forgot! Casey and April are coming over for dinner. Cass sadly can’t make it, she's arranging things for the tripp with CJ.”

“Tripp?”

“ You didn’t know? Cass takes Casey to explore the world that he saved.” Mikey explained.

“Leo.” Donnie blurted out.

The little turtle looked around. He was expecting his blue coded brother to stand in the doorway,  or right behind him,  but he was nowhere. 

Then why did the softshell suddenly say his name?

“What do you mean Dee?”

“Leo… He saved the word! Well,  at least if we wanna name a single person who saved it, because that would be incorrect as all of us played a significant part in the fight with the Krang, but at the end of the day that dum dum is the one who was stupidly ready to give his life for the goddamn word. Casey Jones Junior didn’t do much,  except trapping my twin with a homicidal piece of overused space chewing gum.” The purple turtle’s voice was coated with venom,  he was practically yelling at this point.

The softshell knew his little brother didn’t deserve it. He did nothing wrong,  yet he raised his voice,  despite knowing the box turtle didn’t like it. He wasn’t yelling at Mikey. And the little  one seemingly knew it.

He just… He just… Despite the love and warm welcome his twin showered his future apprentice,  Donnie didn’t like the kid much. It’s irrational! CJ clearly felt guilty for acting on Leo’s instructions,  he seemed to be a good kid as well and again,  it was the slider who ordered the young soldier to close the gate. 

Still,  the younger twin couldn’t help but feel his blood boil whenever he saw or someone mentioned Casey. He was still pretty much bitter about him taking an active  part of the operation  that almost took his twin away.

~Unforgivable!~

And he knows he’s overreacting it… Or more like he should know,  but some instinct that he’s not used to have, now felt eerily similar to internet rage-bating. Something deep in his mind,  in his bones,  spreads like a virus from head to toe, wanting him to just tear the poor future boy apart.

The only thing that kept the genius from jumping head first into the ever flowing river of homicidal tendencies was (once again) Leo. The guy just loved his future son to pieces. He probably would do something stupid again if something happened with CJ.

The soft shell has no idea why he was so super fixated lately with his twin. Maybe because he almost lost him. Maybe because his brother was still injured,  and weak,  and helpless and a dum dum who needs his protection, protection, protection, protect, protect, protectprotectprotectprotectprotectprotectprotectPROTECTPROTECTPROTECT PROTECTPROTECTPROTECT ! ~Protect him!~

“Buenos días,  mis hermanos!” Chimed in an overly cheerful voice.

It was Leo. He was standing in the doorway slightly leaning against it in a Leo-like carefree way.

The purple turtle’s head  immediately took a near 180° turn threatening to snap off his neck. He was staring at his twin as if he never saw him before.

His entire body was stiff and petrified,  not a single muscle obeying him as his mind kept ear-splittingly screaming ~ Protect him!~ over and over and over.

“You good there DonTron?” The slider asked as he gently taped Donnie’s forehead with a single finger right where the Hindus would say he has his third eye. ( Leo has a very random patchwork of knowledge thanks to countless insomniac nights he spent reading whatever his phone threw at him.)

It was a common practice. The blue turtle did this all the time when he wanted to gain his unfocused twin’s attention.

Thankfully it was also super effective to snapp the softshell out of his mindspace. He usually would protest,  but not now when his twin’s idiotic habit just saved him from drowning in his own thoughts.

Why did his thoughts become so protective towards Leo at all?! He was about to go apeshit, he swears. 

The genius just looks at his blue brother,  his heart's still pounding from adrenalin that poured into his veins for no reason at all because they were home,  they were safe. All of them… His twin included.

He just stood there trying to take in the scene of his (mostly) healthy brothers,  force feeding the information to his brain to calm down.

“He’s been like that ever since I mentioned CJ.” Mikey whined concerned.

“Eugh boy… See that’s why I told you to wait for me to break the news. He takes it better from me.”

“Sorry Lee,  I just got excited.”

“Fine,  fine. Can you leave the kitchen for….?Hmm… Twenty-ish minutes would do it. I need to talk to my twin!”

“Okey-dokey,  I wanted to ask Raph if he was free to pick up a few ingredients for me anyways.”

With that the orange kid speeded away,  leaving the blue- purple duo alone.

Leo took a few minutes,  waiting if his twin made a move,  but since nothing happened he decided to actually make the first step.

The slider walked up to his soft shelled brother.

“Dee,  I know you're super busy over analyzing some shit,  but can we talk?” The blue turtle kept his voice soft,  quiet  and even,  because he didn't know if this was just Donnie being stuck in his head or the start of a shut down.

“Umm,  yea,  sure whatever…” The younger twin mumbled.

The older gently guided the genius to the kitchen bench,  then quickly spun around and rushed to the counter to make coffee,  hoping that will at least get the grogginess out of his twin.

The aroma of the fresh coffee seemed to do the trick alone as the softshell’s eyes lit up with excitement upon smelling it. Then as soon as the dark liquid disappeared the purple turtle seemed to be reborn like a phoenix.

“Works like a charm every time!” Leo cheered mentally.

“So.. What is it?” Donnie said dryly.

“Straight to the point huh? Well,  not like I wanted to ease you into the conversation or anything like that…haha.”

The genius gave his brother a scornful glare.

“It’s about Junior…..”

“Oh great, just the topic I need! He said sarcastically. What about him? Do you have more ‘pleasant’ surprises? Perhaps your future child is moving in with us?!” Spoke the softshell in an upset tone.

“No,  of course no! Look as much as I would love to have him around… One he deserves a normal life after all that fucked up things that he went trough growing up. And two I know you would make world war III break out if Casey was here more than a few hours.”

“Oh,  what a sharp observation.” The softshell rolled his eyes.

SIGHT~ ” How long are you planning to hate the poor kid’s guts?”

“I don’t know maybe till the end of the word.”

“Seriously Don….”

“What makes you think I’m not serious?”

“ Look,  I can’t ask you to forgive him…”

“Finally something smart leaves your mouth.”

“I didn’t finish my sentence!...  I can’t ask you to forgive him because there is nothing to forgive.”

“What?! Offended gasp! Nothing to forgive?! Are you serious?!”

“ Do you remember what you told me when I first woke up in the medbay and had a little ....um… freak out?”

“If you mean the time when you were high on meds and bawled your eyes out saying bullshit like : ‘everything is my fault’,  then yes. Go on!”

“You told me that I couldn’t know any better. I didn’t know what losing the key meant. You…. told me it wasn’t my fault.”

“Yes , yes I said all that sappy stuff,  what’s your point?”

“Junior is the same, he didn't know any better.”

“Pizza Supreme Nardo it’s not the same! Casey Jones Junior closed the portal knowing that it will trap you with a homicidal ass of an alien!”

“Yea,  he did what I ordered him to do. Dee,  he was following my future self’s orders his whole life. He didn’t know any better than to do that here too. You told me it’s not my fault,  and by the same logic it’s not Casey’s,  not Raph’s or yours or Mikey's, it's the Krang’s fault. Only if the Krang didn’t exist. Or all croaked before the gate was open…. “

Blame the Krang,  yea. That’s rational and to be expected. Best coping strategy ever! Honestly it’s true. All their suffering was caused by those wrecked aliens.

Yet as the older twin spoke the pain in Donnie’s chest grew, each word cut deep and hard like a razor blade.

All Krang should've croaked. The world can only be safe then. But the softshell was here and he was Krang. 

He shouldn’t be here! He’s the very source of all the misery inflicted. As long as he lives in the state he is in, his family never heals,  the nightmare never ends.

“Besides, Junior is very handy with tech. Future you taught him a bunch of scientific crap. I’m sure if you just gave him a chance you would enjoy his company. You keep yapping about how you don’t have anyone who understands your dohickeys and could provide valuable input. Well,  news flash,  CJ certainly can.”

Hm… that might be right. He was so caught up hating  future boy that he forgot to consider how handy it could be to have someone around who has some idea how his tech works as well as information about his future self’s tech. 

Wait a minute! In the future there were a bunch of krangs running around and posing a threat. There is no way future him did not research the damned aliens to get advantage. And if Casey was around to see those…. He might have information that could be useful for the softshell. 

He hates to admit but he hit a wall with his “self” experimenting and could use some guidance or hint. And hey,  not to be egoistic but who else could provide him with answers he seeks than his own, more experienced self.

“FineH! I can try! No promises though. Also,  our guests are here,  correct?”

It was just a rhetorical question. Due to his wrist tech,  he knew that Mikey just let in their dear sister and future apprentice. 

Well,  now he might as well go say hi. Not like he had a lot to say in the matter as his twin was already urging him to get to the living room.

Resigning to his fate of seemingly not having any control in his life and merely living to oblige to things and people’s whims,  he followed his already beaming blue brother. 

The living room already had a table placed,  set with plates and utensils.

It was a thing they usually did when they held bigger family get-together dinners. After all the kitchen might could house four turtles at the same time,  but that was the limit. Even if just the tiny rat man of a father joined them they were like sardines in a can. Very,  very uncomfortably close.

So,  eating in the living room it is when April and CJ make an appearance.

“Dee, long time no see! I heard you went all asocial in the time I was busy with uni.” April's cheerful voice rang.

“I wouldn’t go as far as say ‘asocial’ dear sister of mine. I merely lost myself in a crucial scientific exploration.” 

Geeze take the “lost myself” part literally,  because that sums up pretty well the situation.

“Fine,  let’s pretend I believe you,  still no offense,  but you look like shit. Have you been eating and sleeping lately? You’re pale as a ghost.”

“Scoff! I’m in perfectly fine condition.”

Sight~ “Seems like you are in fake it till you make it mood huh? I’m willing to temporarily put this argument aside so we all can peacefully eat since from the look of it you need to eat,  but don’t expect to get out of this Mr. Not without a long long chat about the importance of your own health.”

The genius just rolled his eyes. 

“For now I’ll settle for a simple hug.” April said with a bright smile while she held out her arms.

Now if this happened any other day Donnie would have succumbed to the charms of his sister's heavenly hugs.

The girl’s hugs were ranked the second best,  right after their father’s. It almost could suffice as a currency. 

Still,  the softshell didn’t feel up to the task of physical affection. And not because of touch aversion. Not this time. 

Honestly at this point he was almost what one could call touch starved. All his sensory issues to be damned, he wanted to be held and cuddled,  never ever left alone again.

But he was painfully aware how he didn’t deserve any of the love he was receiving. After all he was just a sad replica,  a Krang impostor butting in this family.

He was filthy and a dishonor,  not anything like he was supposed to or used to be.

Then once again the tentacles beneath his battle shell peaked out from under the skin and wiggled,  sending jolts of discomfort through the poor purple turtle’s spine.

The softshell stepped back,  much to the human girl’s confusion. The genius almost looked distressed,  which was never an expected reaction. Sure there were bad sensory days,  but everyone was aware of those existence so Donnie just had to say he wasn’t up for it right now and no one would get mad or anything.

 Then  why was he backing away instead of letting April know?

But before the big sister senses could set the alarm off, Leo pushed forward.

“Welp if you don’t want it, I’ll take it off your hands Donald!” The slider exclaimed loudly.

He dropped his crutches to the ground and threw himself into the girl’s arms. 

April giggled as she held her blue brother who nuzzled her cheek affectionately, essentially rubbing against the girl’s face like a cat.

Then for a moment in between two hysterical laughter from their dear sister, Leo looked back and winked at his twin.

Pizza Supreme,  it’s scary sometimes to think about how deep this slider got all of them figured out.

“Here Sensei!” CJ speaks up as he holds out the blue turtle’s abandoned crutches.

Damn it,  Donnie almost forgot the kid is here. But now he was shivering as he heard the boy call his twin the same way he used to call his late-future father figure.

When the chaos ruled on the surface right after the invasion both Caseys and April stayed temporarily at the lair. (Much to the softshell displease.)

And it weirded everyone out how Junior kept calling them with Master or Commander titles before their names. So,  they quickly establish that they are not the same persons he grew up with and they do not appreciate the honorifics. 

The only exception was Leo who ended up accepting the title of Sensei,  for reasons still unknown. 

Although Mikey one time blabbered about Leo saying something like he feels some weird connection to the kid and the feeling grows stronger and happier whenever he is referred to as Sensei.

Perhaps it has to do something with ninpo,  but Donnie was no expert in the field neither he wanted to meddle with things that seemingly worked fine. As long as his twin says it makes him feel happy,  so be it. Whatever mystics shenanigan is at play in the background he will leave it alone.

Right now said twin was childishly reaching his arms up towards his future kid and making grabby hand gestures. (Real mature!)

Casey fondly sighted and put the crutches down so he can support the slider’s weight and keep him off his leg. Essentially the poor kid became Leo’s personal living crutch.Not like the guy minded it. 

It was always weird with these two.  Leo did become sort of a big brother/ parent for the teen. Surely CJ didn’t need someone to teach him how to read or wipe cream off his face,  but he was just as clueless about modern life as a three year old. 

So the blue turtle took it upon himself to teach the kid about cat videos, TikTok doom scrolling,  fashion, his fav “insomnia keeps me up so fuck it I play” video games like among us or animal crossing and of course he taught him selfcare.

So from the look of it  Casey accepted the difference. He was aware this Leonardo wasn’t the war veteran he grew up with,  but he was still his “father” in a way. A very young and pretty childish father,  but one that he could turn to for advice and love any given moment.

If the softshell wants to be honest,  he has to say that this situation is pretty familiar.  It’s just like when they were tots and Splinter wasn’t that present in their lives, so Raph was the one who basically raised them. Mikey even used to call him papa when he was really small.

So,  in Donnie’s eyes,  the same difference. Raph was just a child himself raising other children and Leo now is just a teen raising another teen. In a fucked up sense it feels normal for the genius.

They all settle down at the dinner table. The box turtle serves the dishes and everyone eats.

There is carefree chatter and gossip accompanied by the almost musical clatter of utensils knocking against plates.

The purple turtle didn’t particularly follow any of the conversations. If he managed to catch some interesting bits he chimed in but aside that he was just enjoying the peace of mind. Especially since both the annoying voice and the tentacles under his battle shell seemed to give him a break.

After the food was finished they cleaned up and settled in the living room with the exception of Mikey who took some plates back to the kitchen and promised to bring the snacks when he returns.

“Ok,  so what was the plan for tonight?” April asked.

“Playing uno and watching Jupiter Jim.” Leo said, rocking back and forth on the couch in his excitement.

“Strange he’s usually not this enthusiastic about a simple movie plus card game night.” The softshell noted mentally.

“Then Raph goes and gets the cards!” The red brother stood up and left towards the cabinet in the corner where they kept the cards.

“Guys,  guys!  This is horrible! A catastrophe!” The orange kid barged in the room and panicked.

“Hey,  hey Mike,  calm down! What happened?” April asked.

“It’s gone! All of it!”

“What’s gone?” Casey piped up from the beanbag he sat on.

“The snacks!” Cried the little turtle.

“How is that possible Miguel? Are you sure you didn’t accidentally  put them in the ‘everyday casual snacks’ box?” The slider asked.

“No,  I looked there too. But it’s not there. These were special snacks from a Hidden city shop,  so even if I mixed  them among the regular snacks I should be able to tell them apart.”

“Hidden city snacks? What were they like?” Leo continued with the questions.

“Well  there was this super rare caramel flavored chips, golden gummy worms,  birthday cake flavored pocky and peach cream oreos.” Mikey listed and with each item earning a small squeaking noise from the snapper who was digging in the cabinet.

Now everyone knows that the little squeaking noises of the red brother were tell tale signs of the guy hiding something.

“Raphie…. Did you happen to know something about those snacks?” The blue turtle sing-songed with a wicked grin across his face.

“Umm… Well… Ok,  ok! Raph’s sorry! I eat those! ”

“Wha- WHAT?! Why did you do that?!”  The little turtle yelled.

“Raph didn’ know they were for tonight…”

“How can you not know?! I literally put a sticky note  on it saying :’ Snacks for the family night. Do not eat!’!” The orange kid rethorted.

“No way! There were no notes. Raph wouldn’ touch em if there was.” 

“Well maybe…”

“Ok,  ok stop it you two! Arguing will get us nowhere! It’s just gonna ruin the mood. Besides, it's totally possible that the weak glue of the sticky note let go and the paper ended up on the floor where Raph couldn’t see it. That way this is just an unfortunate accident and no one's fault, get it?” April chimed in to do damage control.

The orange- red duo just nodded. They were not to argue with big sister.

“Great,  let’s move onto the next program,  the card game. I doubt we’d die from starvation anyways. Especially after that amazing dinner Mikey.” April sent a chef’s kiss towards the little turtle,  who immediately settled down pleasedly.

Just leave it to big sister April to solve any kind of quarrel between her guys (And gays. Royal plural for the resident gay boy Leo.)

“Raphieeeee? What takes so looooooooooooong?!” The slider whined dramatically.

“Uh… Wait a bit, Raph can’ find em anywhere!”

“What?! How?! Did you forget to put them back last time?” Mikey asked panickedly.

“Raph Put them back! I remember like it was yesterday.”

“Because it was Big Daddy.” Leo chimed in.

“ Maybe you put it somewhere else?” The human girl asked.

“Ain’ no way! Raph always puts em here!”

“ Aww man, it’s like if the universe was against us! Or maybe we have… I don’t know… A kobold or goblin or whatsoever infestation and they keep stealing our stuff!” The little turtle theorized.

“Welp,  whatever it is, it seems like we are down to our last activity. So,  what do you say,  Jupiter Jim Seven Galaxy maraton?” April chimed in.

“ That’s a bummer! I wanted to teach Junior how to play! But oh well,  I guess teaching the charm of a movie marathon will do for today. DonTron, would you do the honors and start the projector?”

“Why of course bredren! It shouldn’t take longer than a minute!” Donnie said seemingly disoriented. 

But can you blame a guy for being a little too caught up in his headspace in light of the unnerving events going on with him?

The genius made his way to the projector. Set everything up and pushed the power on button,  then…then nothing happened.

“Erm,  not to stick my nose into your business hermano,  but I’m pretty sure that a projector should ... .well you know… project things.”

“Oh why of course, I totally forgot about that part! He said sarcastically. I’m not fffffffffffffffffflipping blind (Safe from Raph’s lecture about swearing.), Nardo!”

With that the softshell pried open the casing and with various tools extended from his battle shell he began to inspect the device.

“Yep,  I can see it! It’s broken!” He announced.

“Nooooooooooooooo! Why is our movie night curseeeeeeeeeeeeed?!” Mikey cried dramatically.

“Can you like,  fix it?” April asked.

“Scoff! Of Course I can. And it should only take….hm….approximately an hour.” 

“Ok,  then a new plan team! We won’t let any kind of universal force take us as fools! We are gonna have our snacks,  our cards and our projector !” Leo exclaimed loudly.

The slider practically jumped off the couch almost toppling over due to his leg. His only saving grace was CJ who caught him before he could taste test the dust on the floor.

The rest of the family just gaped at the sudden antics. But oh boy the blue turtle was hardly done.

“Mikey,  you go and get a new batch of snacks from the Hidden City. I believe the stores are still open. Oh and take Raph with you,  you’ll need an extra set of strong hands to carry all that stuff!”

The little turtle playfully saluted as he ran off pulling his red brother along.

“Apes,  you and I will go to the store in the city and get the cards!” 

“Roger that!” The girl joked.

“Dee,  get the projector up and running. Oh and take Junior with you. He’s a good assistant.”

“Wait what?! You can’t be serious! Why don’t you take your child with yourself to the shop and leave me with our dear sister?”

“Don,  remember what you agreed to in the kitchen a few hours ago? I set the stage just for you mi hermano. Don’t go and waste it!” With that the blue turtle stepped through a portal offering a cheeky wink to his twin before disappearing in the light.

“That little… He planned this! From the beginning.  He took off the sticky notes from the snacks,  he hid the uno cards and broke the projector. No wonder the thing that broke in it is a part that has replacements lying all over my lab. That calculating little… I'm gonna kick his butt to the next galaxy when he comes home!” Donnie grumbled in his head.

But on second thought, he did want to talk to the future kid. As much as he dislikes his twin’s meddling he might should be thankful to him this time. Not like he's ever gonna tell him that,  it’s just a “note to self”.

The genius and CJ carried the projector to the lab. It’s a mighty heavy projector usually moved around by Raph,  but with two people it was relatively easy to carry it.

The softshell took out his tools and began to tinker away. The lab was filled with heavy and uncomfortable silence. Nothing else could be heard but electrical buzzing and metallic clicking for a while.

Then the human boy spoke:

“Um, Donatello…”

“Just Donnie is enough. The full name treatment is for when someone is in trouble.” Said the purple turtle dryly.

“Then Donnie…”

“Yes?”

“ I…I’m sorry!”

The genius stopped dead in his tracks. He flipped back his goggles to his head and stared at the kid.

“I do not recall any event in the last time period why you should apologize. Unless once again you’re expressing regret over the invasion incident. Which as I already told you about  twenty five times is completely unnecessary as it's not me who should forgive or not but Nardo.”

“No it’s not that…. I… I think the reason why we are here together tonight is because of me. And since you seem uncomfortable with the situation I caused,  I wanted to apologize.”

Well that’s certainly interesting. Why does future boy think he’s to blame for the current predicament? 

“First of all, why do you think I’m uncomfortable?”

“ You’ve been tapping with your feet. You have a bunch of stims but tapping your feet with a certain pattern has always been something Master Donatello did when he felt uneasy.”

Damn this kid knows his stuff!

“Understandable... Second, what did you meant under ’I caused’? ”

“Well, I… told Sensei that I wanted to speak with you privately. And I guess that made him set this stage.”

Oh,  so Casey apparently had some business with him. Strange. So far the kid sensed that Donnie doesn’t like him too much and tried to stay clear of him. So,  if he goes this far,  it means that he must have a good reason. It might worth listening.

“Well,  since I’m stuck with you for the next one hour I guess it wouldn’t hurt hearing you out…I’m all metaphorical ears Jones!”

“Oh, thank you! Actually I just wanted to ask a simple question. But please be honest with me!”

The genius gave a jerky nod as agreement. And he stared baffled as the light expression of the future kid disappears an instant. Now he looked dead serious. The kinda serious that makes you feel your heartbeat in your throat.

“I wanted to ask you about the Krang…. Did you bring home something from the Techno Drone?”

At that moment the softshell forgot how to breathe from the shock. Alarm sires were going off.

How? Was he that obvious?! He made sure no one noticed! He was careful. He did everything he could. Was that not enough?! Was he not enough? What gave him away?

 Maybe everything. Maybe he wasn’t acting like himself at all. It wouldn't be a surprise given that he was indeed not himself. Or at least not the “himself” that he could accept.

He was a Krang and Casey knew it. He should’ve known. The kid had future insight on his side.

But what’s he gonna do now?! He…he… he doesn't want this life to be over. He loves it here! His family is here! Even though it’s not his family. ~It’s yours!~ He knows he’s selfish! How dare he,  a Krang,  the wery species that  caused so much pain, hide in plain sight?! 

And still shame on him,  he can’t bring himself to do what's right. He wants to stay!

Could he convince CJ to keep this between them? That he’s not a threat? He hopes he’s not a threat.

No,  no. The kid watched his entire family being obliterated by Krang. He would never give the opportunity for history to repeat.

Then what? Does he eliminate the obstacle? It would be easy, it's just the two of them….

What the shell is he thinking?! Pizza Supreme help him! Did he just think about disposing of a semi…no,  a family member?!  

Nonononononono! He…he can’t be that cold blooded,  right?! Why did that thought even make its way to his consciousness?

It’s funny isn’t it. Before everything he never felt afraid from saying things like “ I gonna use you as a test subject! ” “ Can I go at least semi lethal? ” it was all jokes (mostly). 

But right now the thought of how easy it would be to kill Casey came to him so seriously and naturally. Like if murder was the solution to everything.

Just how far is he gone?! How much is still him and how much is not? In the battle for New York, just how big is the part of him that the Techno Drone won?

The human boy just stares at the softshell,  who even if he wasn’t super occupied with panicking and hating his own guts wouldn't be able to get a single reading from the kid’s face.

That makes Donnie even more upset. He’s cornered. And just like an animal on its wits end,  who knows what he’ll do?

The purple turtle’s back hurts like if it was set on fire. The tentacles pull painfully his skin as they bang on the inside wall of the battle shell. Desperately trying to escape and given how violent they behave,  who knows what they would do if the artificial shell gives in.

“ Sorry,  if that sounded like an accusation. I’m not judging you for it.” Explained the human boy probably feeling like he has to because of the long pause of any kind of reaction.

Wait?! What was he saying? He’s like cool with this? How is that possible?! The softshell did the math. There is no way anyone,  anyone at all in his family,  or even New York or the Hidden City would sympathize with a monster like him!

“I know we don’t have the best relationship. Which is understandable. I understand why you are mad at me… I’m mad at myself too. But you can be honest with me. Like it’s totally understandable if you picked up a jar or two of Krang goop to analyze and experiment on.”

Oh….

Casey didn’t know about him being a Krang. It was a relief and maybe a teeny tiny disappointment. For a moment he really almost believed that the kid didn’t mind him being what he is. But that… that was stupid wishful thinking.

“I’ll be brutally honest with you Casey Jones. I don’t have any. Indeed,  I wanted to collect samples for further research but the Krang material is quick to decompose and with Nardo in a critical state… Let’s just say it wasn’t my priority to put goop in a jar when my twin was dying. Why did you even assume I had some?”

“Uh…umm… it’s not important. If you don’t have any, then  it’s fine..”

Pizza Supreme in the skies is finally an expression that the softshell can read like a book. He was lowkey going crazy from having no idea what people around him felt in certain moments.

Future kid had this grief riddled expression. He looked like something was on the tip of his tongue,  barely held back by sheer willpower from rolling down.

It was the clear sign that there was something that happened in his timeline that he thinks might or might not be relevant to the current situation,  but he doesn't wanna say it because he doesn't want to upset anyone if he can help it.

Well,  too bad! Donnie wanted to know about the future. And if the genius makes up his mind…

“Something happened in the past- future,  involving Krang material and me,  am I right?”

Future boy looked at the side,  then began to stare at his shoes,  meanwhile he was fidgeting with a loose strand of his hair.

The softshell clearly hit the nail right at the head.

Ha! Future boy is not the only one who has the other’s involuntary tell tale signs of unease figured out.

“Listen,  you asked for my honesty. Then isn’t it hypocritical of you to withhold information from me? If it’s something that happened to my future self… I have the right to know.” 

The room went silent. An unexplainable tension stifled both guys in the room. Till CJ spoke:

“You are right… But it’s not a pleasant story. I’m not sure if it’s ok to tell you.”

“I am not made of glass Casey Jones Junior!”

“ I… I know…” There was this weird painful expression washing across the kid’s face. 

One that Donnie couldn’t put anywhere.

“It’s just… Do you still wanna know if I tell you that it’s connected to how Master Donatello died?”

The softshell’s eyes went wide. Did his future self die from Krang material? How? It seemed harmless enough if it wasn’t under the Krang’s direct control.

He shouldn’t ask to know about his future self’s death. Sure it’s a “dead” timeline so nothing that happened there was supposed to happen here. Yet still, Casey more often stumbled upon events that happened in a future in some way or another than not.

Which was concerning given that many of those events ended up with someone dropping dead.

So sue him for debating with himself over not sleeping because knowing or because not knowing. 

The reasonable part of him says “no thank you”. But the other has some morbid curiosity for the tale.

Besides,  he allowed CJ near himself because he wanted to drag some information out of the kid. He’d be a fool not to use the opportunity that presented itself.

“Yes,  I want to know.” The softshell said dryly.

“Ok…. But let me know if it gets too much! It’s a really unpleasant story. Maybe it’s just my own opinion, but I always felt like your death was the most upsetting…”  Supplied Casey.

Sweet Galileo that’s certainly reassuring. Like Raph died saving the base, the genius doesn't know details but surely it was in combat. Mikey died blowing apart by opening a portal. And Leo got disintegrated by a laser after throwing CJ through the portal.None of those sounded like a peaceful non- disturbing death. ”Just what the shell can be more upsetting than that?!”

Donnie gave a nod as confirmation so future boy can finally muster up the courage to tell the tale.

“Ok,  first of all I have to explain that in my timeline due to the progression of the Krang invasion there was a wider variety of Krangs out there.”

“Interesting.” The genius hummed to encourage the boy to continue by reassuring him that he’s interested.

“There were dog and wyvern like Krang mechs out there. And that’s not all. But what is important from the point of the story is the Scout Ships.”

“Scout Ships?”

“ Yes,  they should be imagined as a smaller version of the Tecno Drone with less functionality and shaped like a UFO. Or at least Master Michelangelo always said it was shaped like one. Anyways, it was the least destructive opponent we had. Despite it being a Krang unit it never attacked unless it was attacked first. It merely existed to comb the area,  gain information about rebels, survivors and   locations with food sources to destroy. They weren’t even really armed,  the most they got was a second grade laser.”

Ok,  not concerning at all that anything that has any grade of laser can be regarded as “not really armed”. But oh well it’s not Donnie’s first rodeo hearing the kid talking about insane stuff like if it was another monday.

“ As you probably assumed,  Master Donatello was collecting Krang material for research and one time Master Michelangelo managed to catch a Scout Ship with his chains. It was a great opportunity because if we managed to hack into its system we would gain crucial information about the location of Krang bases,  their movements, other Scout Ships,  about survivors and food supplies.”

That was indeed the million dollar opportunity right there. In that situation the softshell is sure he would’ve dropped everything and concentrated on that ship. It was a gold mine. 

“But soon we had to realize that it was more complicated to hack it than we thought. There was no control panel or place to connect,  only goopy Krang matter that occasionally turned into stringy thin tentacles and reached towards whoever approached them.”

“Sounds like an accurate description of a print sized Techno Drone knock off.” The genius thought to himself.

“ In the end Master Donatello came to the same conclusion you did with the Techno Drone.He needed to connect with the Scout Ship via physical contact, although he didn’t need to go as far as exposing his soft shell. As soon as his hands touched the goo, the tentacles latched onto him and wormed their way under his skin.”

Yeesh,  yep,  nope! Don’t remind him! He almost feels them crawling over him again. Wait! They are actually doing that! Except not the appendages from the alien mothership itself but Donnie’s own. God,  no! That's even worse. Saying even in his mind that “his own” makes his skin crawl.

“ I wasn’t present when all this happened,  but according to Master Michelangelo Sensei had to sever the tentacles to save his brother from being taken over. After they removed the already detached appendages from under Master Donatello’s skin and tended to the injuries,  it turned out that they achieved their objective. Master Donatello’s mind was synced up with the Scout Ship’s information flow. It was a huge step forward for the resistance. With knowing the locations of possible allies,  food sources and the movements of the Krang we finally stood a chance. But our joy didn’t live long. The price we paid for it was too grave. At first it didn’t seem that dire. Master Donatello was just simply incapable of remembering to be hungry or tired. Sensei and Master Michelangelo thought it probably caused by the constant information flow through his brain. And it wasn’t something so dreadful. We just needed to remind him to eat and go to sleep and he obliged.”

That doesn’t sound that far fetched from what the genius is like now. He does tend to forget to eat or sleep when he’s hyper focused. And let’s be real if he had information constantly invading his consciousness he would be pretty out of touch with his bodily needs.

Still,  he can’t really see how this condition got future him killed. 

Did his brothers forget to remind him to eat and he starved? That would’ve been the most pathetic and uncool way to die in the apocalypse.  

If that’s the case he has to agree with CJ on the matter,  he in fact didn’t want to hear. Call him morbid for thinking about this but if he has to die in an apocalyptic world he wants to go out with a blast. Flashy and badass,  the way future Raph or Mikey did.

“But from there it was a downhill. Forgetting to eat became food rejection. Even if he ate, he threw it up later. Not being tired became not being able to sleep. We needed to drug him to make him get some shut eye and hook him up with IV to feed him. But it was just delaying the inevitable. Especially since all the sleep meds and IV fluids were reserved for him. We were running low on those resources even when we knew where to find them. Then when we thought it couldn't get worse it did. He coughed blood and his ear holes and nose bleed. From that point his body refused to accept even the IV and he became resistant to the sleep medications. Unable to speak,  barely able to move, six shades paler green than he should, bloodshot eyes gazing at nothing, just a skeleton with skin…. He withered away like a cut flower.” Casey spoke,  expression haunted,  filed with pain.

His eyes shimmered with tears accumulating. Ones the kid soldier didn’t wanted to let to roll down his face,  but he was fighting an already lost  battle.

The genius just stood there. Hands stopping the work he was doing as he took the information in.

He couldn’t comprehend. Maybe he didn’t want to comprehend,  because that situation was super eerily similar to certain aspects he currently had to face. It made his stomach turn and nausea ran up and down on him. 

What a horrific way to go. Yet still even if he won’t be sleeping tonight,  or this month at all,  he felt like it was worth it.

Maybe it was silly,  maybe he was just a sore loser who didn’t want to admit that future boy was right not wanting to tell him,  but he found solace in the fact that he wasn’t the only one who ever dealt with something like this. Even though,on second thought he might shouldn’t be as comforted by this as he was. After all this was clear evidence that that stuff can and will kill its host. 

But that stuff was coming from a simple Scout Ship. Did it matter where it came from? The Techno Drone being a superior version of those ships would make it better or worse for him? Some of his own symptoms were different. Would that mean that the two are just coincidentally similar? 

So many questions that can’t be left unanswered. Not when he had his hands on the lid of Pandora’s box. He felt bad for the kid,  he really did,  but the need to know overwritten all compassion he had. 

“How long did he last?” The softshell asked.

Casey's eyes were filled with hurt,  silently begging to drop the subject. But as cruel as it is,  at that moment the genius was unable to care. He will get his answers even if he has to rip the kid apart by the seams.

CJ seemingly realized that there will be no mercy coming from the softshell and decided to just get over with it.

“Two years….” The kid soldier mumbled.

Two years?! Donnie always knew he was a badass motherfucker,  but this….. 

He occasionally got the TD info dump,  but it made him feel like his head was about to explode and this kid just tells him that his future self managed to survive that constantly invading his brain for two whole years keeping his sanity?

Pizza Supreme God damn it! Now he feels pathetic,  whining about his condition.

Still,  there is one more thing he desperately needs to know.

He looks at Casey,  eyes like a predator ready to gut this guy for the information. Ready to sacrifice him on the altar of morbid curiosity and savage need.

Something deep inside the soft shell is scared. Scared of his own self. The unfamiliar inhuman needs that bubbling to the surface. He doesn’t really understands what’s going on with him. Let alone try to control it.

A primal instinct telling him “Take what you need! They meant to be exploited by you!”. And he can not deny….

“Did future me have any documentation about his condition left, that you know about?”

Future boy blinked away the tears in his eyes, while he bit his lip so hard it was a surprise he didn’t draw blood. Then he took one deep breath and with a weak wobbly voice he spoke:

“I don’t remember much. I was…. little when it….it happened. But I do remember seeing some of the research he had.”

Casey stopped, clutching his hands close to his chest like if he was in physical pain. 

However the softshell still couldn’t find the strength to get them off this horrific ride,  he willingly jumped on, but now was unable to stop.

He just nodded with a stoic expression clearly signing the kid to continue.

So he did:

“ It was something about, how the Scout ship tried to transform him into one of them. Into a Scout ship. But without the power of the Techno Drone it couldn’t….krangifie him. But it was able to rewire his brain with their programming. So he….he mentally became a Scout ship. A Scout ship doesn’t need to eat,  so his body refused food,  a Scout shipp doesn’t need to rest so he became unable to sleep. Apparently at first he was able to force his brain to ignore the ridiculous requests. But with his brain constantly attacked by the flow of information without the Krang’s excessive healing factor he was doomed. His mental power slowly…. slowly drained and ….and….” CJ broke down in tears for real this time.

But the genius already got what he needed. 

The Tecno Drone made him Krang,  so that means the thing he taught will kill him,  AKA the frequently occurring brain strain wasn’t half as deadly as uncomfortable.

Which means he has way more time to find a solution than he expected. 

It’s totally worth it to talk with  future boy.

Oh wait…

The purple turtle stared at the kid curled in on himself as he stood. Looking so small,  so lost. He was wrestling with broken sobs and tears that had fallen like the Niagara waterfall. His eyes were stiffly fixated on the concrete floor and his entire body shook violently.

And the softshell couldn’t help but be horrified by his own self. Rationality whispering in the back of his mind: “Look,  what have you done!”

He didn’t mean this! He would have wanted to  argue,  but that wasn’t true. As sickening as it was, he wanted this. Or more likely knew this will be the outcome and couldn’t find it in himself to care. How big of an asshole he is?! A real monster…Taking what he needs no matter the price.

He can’t help but despise himself.

The genius quickly turns away from the sad sight in front of him and pulls out a drawer. He rummages through it for a while before he grabs something and turns back to the kid.

A gentle tap on CJ shoulder and red puffy eyes filled with salt water to the brim stare back at him.

The purple turtle holds his hand out revealing a salted caramel Twix.

“Apologies…” Donnie mumbles looking anywhere but in the eye of Casey.

The boy’s eyes grow even wider. Looking at the chocolate bar with shock and awe.

The genius can’t tell if it’s a good or a bad thing. But he hopes he remembered it right. (Fuck sake you doubt in your memory right now?!)

According to Leo,  apparently Casey’s favorite sweets are chocolates. In every form,  flavor and edition. But he has a specific sweet spot for Salted caramel Twixes.

Surely the genius understands that an apology and a chocolate bar is no compensation in face of ripping old scars up. But it’s the closest thing he can provide.

Future boy unwraps the candy and takes a bite only to end up crying twice as hard as he was before.

Just what the shell did Donnie do wrong this time?! Did he actually remembered wrong and gave CJ a sweet he didn’t liked?

“ …Am sorry… I…thought you liked that one. But it’s ok…you can switch it out! There are a wide variety of candies in my drawer.” The softshell slurred and garbled nervously.

He’s emotionless bad boy image to be damned, the way CJ heartbrokedly sobbed was the exact way Mikey did.

And the purple turtle hated if the little one cried. Or anyone from his family. Crying meant something was wrong. That something needed to be fixed. Something he didn’t know how to fix.

“No…[SOB] I….[HICCUP] I…Do like this one… It’s just….[SOB]... You never change…”

“Well if you from the future are stating that then I certainly can’t deny it, but I fail to see what exactly is the connection here?”

“The day before Master Donatello passed away…[SOB]. I sneaked in to see him. I…I wasn’t allowed in there.[HICCUP] I guess Sensei didn’t want me to see him like that…. But…[SOB]... after Sensei stayed vigil at future you’s side for three days straight,  he fell asleep and I… I got in...[HICCUP]... At that point Master Donatello was unable to speak,  he could barely move,  his entire body was just bones and skin,....[SOB]...  wrists thin as a twig and his eyes were glazed.[SOB]. But he recognised me. And he recognised the terror on my face....[HICCUP]... I was crying just like now…...[WHEEZE].... He reached for his wrist tech on the bedside table and….and pushed a button which silently opened one of his mechanical drawers. With a shaking hand he…[SOB]...he pointed at it. So I checked it out. There was a salt caramel Twix inside with a little note :Junior’s birthday.....[HICCUP]... Candy was a luxury in the apocalipse,  but still he somehow managed to hunt one down for…for me. I took the candy and I saw his eyed,  begging me to leave. I….I shook my head…[SOB]... but he insisted. So I…I left.. And in…in the morning…. Sensei woke up clutching the hand of a lifeless body….....[HICCUP]... I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for leaving that night…. I don’t think Sensei ever forgived himself for falling asleep….”

Silence hung in the air,  heavy and stifling like if someone put sandbags at the two teens' chest.

It was a lot to unpack,  a lot to hear…

Donnie slammed back in place   the opened case of the projector,  indicating he was done.

“You know,  you've never been the guy of emotional talks… Not even in the future. But you never failed to show what you couldn’t tell. Salt Caramel Twix became a synonym of “I love you” in my dictionary. So…thank you! Even if it’s silly,  for a moment it made me feel like you care for me the way he did…” Casey spoke, eyes still sparkling with tears and a bittersweet smile was on his face.

“Guys are you done with the projector we are back!” Leo’s voice rang from the distance.

”Well,  I better ask Raph to help carry this thing back,  it was hard to bring this here even with the two of us.” Future kid stood up and walked to the door like if he wasn't crying his eyes out a minute ago.

But just before the boy could disappear from the genius view the softshell spoke:

“Hey,  if you ever need your fix of Salt Caramel Twix, feel free to come to me! I got them stocked up,  Junior.”

A million expressions flickered across CJ’s face eventually settling on beaming happiness.

There were just so many things right now for him to be overjoyed.

The fact that the genius got stocked a candy that no one in the family except Casey liked. 

Or how the first sentence translated to something like this in CJ’s book: If you ever need your fix of love feel free to come to me.

And he just got called Junior the first time.

Donnie watched as a few words launched future boy up to cloud nine in mere seconds.

He has to admit he liked the way the kid smiled. Now, he sorta could see why his twin would bring the stars down for this guy.

Now he could see why his future self did the same and why he’s gonna do the same.

If all it takes to protect a smile of a family member is calling them Junior and offering candy he’d be damned not to do it.

After all, Junior is family. He’s finally family even  in the softshell’s eyes.

Chapter Text

A mission. Just your casual routine one. Except it isn’t because none of them were on a single actual mission for months. ( Only some patrol ones to stretch legs.)

Well ok technically Raph went . But only human crime ones.

The reason  for the lack of action on their side was rather obvious. Mikey spent the last months learning mystic stuff from Draxum. It was a must as Mikey’s powers awakened and now they regularly have to be expelled via mystic means. It’s just a temporary solution. The orange kid is not getting better but worse. So,  Draxum stopped his training as it turns out it’s not healthy for him. The strains of mistic overuse is visible as the little turtle is already sporting a stylish hairstyle. 

Also fun fact, but turns out mystic is not the cause of the box shell's hair situation. Sure the fast aging is what prompted it to appear this early,  but apparently he would've grown it anyways. After all, the orange kid is the most human among them.

Leo. The reason for his un attendance is pretty clear. He can’t fucking walk!

Then there is Donnie who spared himself from the hassle with the excuse of having a ton of work.

Of Course that was not really the reason. Like even in the past he had a ton of work. Just think about the aftermath of the Shredder incident. He literally had to rebuild every single tech and did he skip any patrol? Nope,  not a single one.

Right now he just didn’t want to be around his brothers,  despite every cell in his body seemingly rebelling against the idea. 

He wanted to run away ,  bury his sad,  self centered,  prick ass -because let’s be real, if he wasn’t a selfish asshole he would be gone by now as that’s the least he could do for his brother’s safety- six feet deep  but at the same time he wanted to attach himself to his brothers like an accessory and never letting go. The mere thought of leaving made his stomach twist into knots and his chest ache.

Geez,  what an absolute duality choose to torment him….

He quickly snaps out of his thoughts as he finds himself standing on the edge of a high rise building alongside with all of his brothers.

Right,  right,  no time to overthink right now!  They are on a mission. A quite important one if you ask him.

No,  not because they are stopping supervillains from achieving world domination or causing the end of the world and it’s not like it was a dangerous one either. 

It’s just Hypno…In a pillow factory? Ok,  that’s lowkey crazy. Like why is the guy there? His usual gigs consist of stealing magical items. And the softshell doubts those pillows are going to enchant anyone.

On second thought tho, during the invasion many homes were destroyed. Heck,  Mikey was throwing around skyscrapers like when a tantrum child throws lego blocks at their parents. That definitely did not help preserve the city’s state. Not like firing an entire arsenal did. So the genius is not one to talk.

Anyways maybe the hippo’s apartman was destroyed,so now he needed new furniture and being a mutant, earning money was pretty out of the window. So,  stealing it is.

Of course stealing is wrong and unacceptable,  not an option ect ect. That’s just the typical Raph and Mikey lecture.

The purple turtle is strongly believes that theft is always an option as he himself did it so many times. Therefore,  if it was up to him he would’ve let it slide.

Knowing the circumstances probably his brothers would’ve let it slide as well if the execution was not this poor. Like,  go and rob an exploitative company and leave this tiny fair business alone!

But regardless of all,  not the protection of local fair businesses was the reason this mission was grand.

It was Leo’s attendance that made it special.

Everyone was worried about the blue brother. No one said a word but everyone knew that he was crying himself to sleep every night. 

His leg won’t get better,  ever. That basically signs his fate to have early retirement. And then comes the question. If he’s not out there with his brothers fighting crime then what would he be good for? He soon would end up being a depressed couch potato beside their father,  watching commercials and doing nothing.

None of them wants that for him.

Right now they are trying to figure out a way to keep him out of danger and still include him in the operation. So he can feel useful.

And Hypno,  given that he’s not much of a villain,  more like a pain in the ass,  is the perfect subject for this experiment.

Like have you met the guy? He’s their only enemy that would hit them and if they won't bounce back immediately, he would start to worry and ask questions if they were alright or apologize.

It’s unlikely that the guy would go his way out to hurt Leo, even if he realizes that he’s the weak link.

The formation is easy. The three “mobil” brothers charge in and during the distraction the slider portals himself in a safe distance up to a  metal joist hiding behind the supporting beam where he still can clearly see every movement.

The good thing about being a leader,  that you don’t necessarily have to be on the front line to give orders. In many wars the leader figures hid in a safe distance,  after all it’s an ancient knowledge that taking out the “head of the snake” disorients the entire army leading to the opponent’s victory.

So yep,  relying on the slider’s superior eyesight (Donnie will never admit out loud that Leo is superior in anything.) and the coms the blue brother still can form a strategy and make them execute it.

It’s just the cherry on top that Leo now can open portals remotely (Would’ve been so helpful during the battle with the Krang. Just saying.) so even from a safe distance he can move and swap them like if they were his personal playthings.

Not like the genius minded being strategically puppeted by his twin. Leo was a deceiving,  manipulative little prick who seemingly always wrapped peoples around his fingers and bent wills towards his.

But Donnie wasn’t better. He was the mad scientist who tranquilized a brother because he felt like it and implanted trackers under their skins without permission. Not to mention the various experiments he ran on his brothers when they were younger.

So one could say that toying with people in either physical or psychical ways was a twin thing and the softshell wouldn’t have it any other way.

Besides just like how Leo trusted him when the genius came up with some dubious,  revolutionary medicine blend for his cracked shell pain,  Donnie was also ready to rest his life in his twin’s hands.

So now they were facing Hypno. The thing went like every other time.

They charged in, the magician greeted them,  banter went on,  they listened to the whole evil monolog which was not evil the slightest as the purple turtle’s assumption proved right and the hippo really was just here for some pillows for his apartment.

Then the exchange of blows began . It wasn’t serious at all. Felt more like a mock battle and they definitely would've been fine without any strategy,  but hey,  they wanted to let Leo have his fun,  so they did the whole thing in a painfully roundabout way. 

The things you do for your brother….

About twenty-ish minutes in the impromptu pillow fight that broke out because of Mikey, (Bless his soul!) the magician did a groundbreaking discovery:

“Wait, is it just the three of you? That can’t be right,  right? The portals are everywhere ... .Where is your brother in blue?”

The softshell wanted to chime in saying “It’s none of your business!” or “Like we’d tell you!”,  but way before his mouth could move the hippo piped up:

“There you are! Come join the PARTY!” Hypno yelled as he threw a few of his razor rings in the direction of one of the supporting beams.

The tree turtle brother’s head whipped around only to witness as their blue brother dodged the first incoming object,  letting it pass by him an inch or so. He blocked the second one with his sword but the third one came in way too fast and as it hit his blade,  he lost his balance and with a yelp fell into a container of feathers,  meant as pillow filling.

“LEO!” The trio cried out in uniosun and rushed to the container.

The magician awkwardly stood at the side,  scratching the back of his head.

“He should have been able to dodge that easily. What happened?”

“Leo’s hurt.” Mikey supplied innocently.

Goodness gracious this kid talks too casually with the enemy.

“Oh,  I….didn’t know it….sorry!” The hippo apologized.

“ It’s all good Hippo - man! I had a soft landing.” The slider poked out his head from underneath a pile of feathers wearing a wide grin and giving a thumbs up.

And that’s when Donnie saw it. A thin line,  barely visible,  just a mere scratch sat on his twin’s face,  bleeding ever so slightly.

The thing is,  that the slider loved his face. He was the faceman,  he always said that having a pretty face was part of the gig. Therefore the blue turtle would always make sure so his face won’t suffer any damage if he could help it.

And yet his twin’s oh so cherished face was bleeding. A tiny red drop drizzled down his cheek.

Red just like the word for the softshell at that moment. He saw red and his blood was boiling.

This inferior, disgusting mammal! Who did he think he was?! How dare they touch his family, his brother, his TWIN!

The softshell no longer knew reason,  he grabbed his tech bo,  summoned a giant hammer with rockets on both sides and with one brutal blow he sent the hippo flying. Strong enough so the guy impaled itself into the wall across the factory.

For a millisecond Donnie stared,  dumbfounded by his own newfound power. But as he looked at the miserable expression of that oversized cockroach that disguises itself as a hippo he quickly found himself liking what he did.

With speed that was incomprehensible even for the genius he spawned in front of the magician growling at him with a sadistic snarl-like grin.

And before anyone could’ve blinked twice he began to smash the enemy with a merciless pace.

Hypno, begged,  moaned in agony, apologized, whimpered  but it mattered not. All the turtle could hear was as his mystic formed metal hit flesh,  as bones were creaking,  and  a pathetic little pest that did not worth sparing.

Soon a river of thick red blood began to run from the head of the large mutant,  dripping down his chin.

The softshell stood there motionless for a second taking in the sight and casting an ominous shadow over the half dead hippo.

“That’s right. That’s how it is supposed to be. Bleed! You deserve to be bled dry for the atrocity you committed. Besides, the red looks good on you…. Let me just paint your whole wrecked body with it!” 

And the purple turtle raised his weapon and began to beat the only half conscious enemy.

He only was able to land a few hits before huge hands wrapped around his torso and picked him up in an almost hug-like hold.

The purple turtle hissed and growled trashing is the gentle, but firm grasp.

“LET,  ME GO! I’M NOT DONE WITH HIM!” The softshell yelled.

“Yes, ya are Don, cut it out!” Raph said firmly.

The softshell looked up to his oldest brother only to see the uttermost horror on his face he had ever seen. The big guy straight up looked at him as if he was some serial killer.

He quickly turned his head towards the magician, now somewhat shocked back into his right mind by the snapper’s expression,  he could see….

Hypno’s body was nothing but bruises,  he missed a tooth, his head was bleeding and his face was swollen beyond recognition. 

A part of Donnie was horrified by the scene, the other one felt completely justified doing what he did.

The softshell was not unfamiliar with violent thoughts. Heck,  they lived rent free in his brain. He would even go as far as saying they had their own corner. But… he never really acted upon them. Well,  not to this degree. Not to the point when someone layed there almost dead,  wheezing and gasping for air. Especially someone who barely did any damage….

Leo and Mikey were near the hippo. The latter was holding the guy’s hand,  whispering encouragements,  while the former was checking out the injuries and tending them the best he could.

And Pizza Supreme forbade Raph from letting go of the genius,  because his blood was boiling over again. His mouth was twitching as he kept forcing down some vicious snarls and his fingers dug into the eldest arms.

His twin and his little brother were near that discounting lesser life form. That guy ...No,  that thing doesn't have the brain capacity to realize their own place. To know that his best interest is to not lay a single finger on the superior species. 

What if he tries again?! If that oversized hippo manages to grab his little brother or make another scratch on his twin….. 

”How dare that wrecked pest even accept the help of the one he disrespectfully harmed?! Does this inferior species have no spine at all?!”

Wait,  what?! Does he even hear himself?! What the shell is he saying in his mental space?! “Wrecked pest”? “ Inferior species”? That sounds like… like.. Almost like…the….the Krang!

The  violence,  the thought of utter superiority based simply on species,  belittling everyone around,  being high and mighty…. It’s all…. Their behavior….. Krang behavior….

He IS Krang!

And god he’s dying! Not in a physical way he originally thought,  but mentally.  Day by day he gets further and further from who he was. In the reflection of a mirror a near stranger stares back at him every time. 

He’s no longer in control,  he only realizes the grave mistakes when they are all said and done.

But… It felt so natural… Like if it was his own will. There was no feeling of outside forces. He wanted to kill Hypno,  he still wants to.

A part of him that he despises wants to bite into the red turtle’s arm to get free and finish the mission. Avenge the hurt of his brother.

But thankfully that would hurt another one of his brothers,  so his mind seems to be stuck in a state of soul crushing indecision. Paralyzed,  frozen like an old machine that endlessly tires to execute a faulty command.

And that’s the only thing that keeps him from doing things what wouldn’t ever let him look into his bredren’s eyes. Unspeakable things only seen in horror movies and in the messed up flashbacks the TD forcefully graces him with. Things that only the Krang is insane enough to consider as a cruel pastime.

It irks him,  it drives him crazy,  he wants to crawl out of his own skin from the thought of him being the same as those monsters. But what can he do?! He is a monster himself. 

If he could,  he would run away! But how could one run from something that’s engraved into them? 

“Hold onto that one,  ok Big Daddy? We’ll be back in jiff,  just gonna drop the guy in the HC hospital.” Leo spoke pointing at Donnie as he leaned onto Mikey, using the smaller one as his personal crutch. 

It was something the slider often did with various family members. He hated how silly he looked with his walk aid and for some  unexplainable reason he considered “living crutches more stylish”,  to say it with his exact words.

With a flick of a sword a blue portal opened beneath the two turtle one hippo trio and they disappeared.

Minutes passed in loud- loud deafening silence. Raph still held Donnie despite the fact that all the softshell’s resistance died down. Aaaand he was so right to do that,  because the genius is pretty sure he would’ve thrown himself after the magician and his brothers as Leo’s portal did not close. Probably  the slider wasn’t planning to take long.

After what felt like an eternity stuck in the limbo of violent thoughts,  self hatred,  and a hint of bone chilling anxiety of not being able to see two brothers from the three when they were clearly with an enemy -Doesn’t matter that it was as harmless as a fly. Oh sorry, a squashed fly.- the blue-orange duo finally popped right back into the factory.

The oldest’s body relaxed a bit. God, for the whole time the guy stood there like a stone statue. Maybe he had become one. Maybe all of his blood ran cold from the display of  gory dominance. He was shaking,  clearly afraid but still not letting go of his captive.

“Ok boys,  let’s pack it up!” Leo gave the order cheery as ever,  seemingly unbothered by the events.

He stood and made another portal. This time for home. And he pretended strongly that he was selling the act of being completely uninjured both mentally and physically.

Well,  Donnie does not know about what’s going on in that dum dum head,  his twin’s smiley poker face is an indestructible fortress once it’s shewed onto the slider. But the fact that it was there always rang alarm bells.

And physically? Oh yeah,  the blue turtle can suck it up,  because his body always betrays him in the face of his twin’s endless ”Leo tell-tale signs” lore. 

The softshell immediately caught onto the little spared glance the slider threw towards his paralyzed leg. But as twin code has it,  he kept his mouth shut.

Not like he could really form words at the moment. He was too busy hating his own guts. 

Maybe once he’s calmed down and managed to get rid of the overwhelming urge to unalive everything and everyone except his family, he can get a conversation going with his brother. So,  he tabled that for a while.

They returned home and as the portal shut close, the softshell was finally put down and facing his brothers.

“WHAT THE SHELL WAS THAT DON?! WHAT WERE YOU…?!” Raph began yelling and scolding  but the blue brother unceremoniously slided between them,  facing Raph and putting both of his hands on the big guy’s plastron.

“Hey,  hey Raph…” He tried to calm his big brother.

“Leo don’t interrupt!” The oldest tried to sound tad calmer but failed miserably.

It was understandable. He just witnessed his little brother almost killing someone. That was not in the book of “heroic things to do”. 

And the slider got it. He understood it. Not like his blood didn’t run cold upon seeing the display. But at the same time it was Donnie. It was his twin they were talking about.

“Sorry,  but I have to! You are about to give the “ leader” talk to DonTron and the last time I checked I was the leader,  so don’t go stealing my job, ok?”

“Sooo,  yer gonna do the scolding?” Raph asked, leaving an uncomfortable amount of pause between each word and topping the dramatic  act with a nonexistent eyebrow rise.

“Yep,  I'm gonna. Right now! Just not here! As you can see, Dee's hand is bleeding bad.”

The red brother looked at the purple one who had his fists balled and blood was steadily dripping through each gap of his fingers.

He might have questioned it, if it was actually the shoftshell’s or his victim’s,  if it wasn’t the slider who claimed it was  his twin’s. 

Matter of fact, the blue brother had an exceptional sense of smell. Especially when it comes to worrying ones like blood,  or poisonous chemicals. He also could easily tell who was the owner of the blood he caught a whiff of. It kinda sucked because his good smelling often landed him being nauseous if an unpleasant scent caught him off guard. But times when one of the brothers was injured and tried to hide it, (Which was a more common occurrence than it should be.) it came handy.

Raph debated for a moment, but hey,  Leo was way calmer than him at the moment and the twins always seemed to live in a different world with just the two of them. So,  if anyone could get through to Donnie that was the blue turtle.

“Fine,  go!” The oldest signed resignedly.

Not like his word mattered anything as the second oldest was already thought his blue portal and the second youngest was walking aways with not a single care in the word. Or that’s how it looked like and shell, it doesn’t matter if the slider holds the leader talk,  he still will do a big brother scold once the genius is patched up.

—-------------------------------------

As the softshell entered the medbay his twin was already sitting on the cot,  first aid kit in his lap and swords leaned against the bed frame. He was smiling in a kind but tired way and patted the bed beside himself.

The purple brother settled down and held out his hands for his brother to inspect.

The blue brother gently slid off from the bed and kneeled in front of his twin, because it was kinda uncomfortable to bend sideways to treat  the injury. 

Leo gently pried open his twin’s palms and looked at the wounds.

The bleeding has stopped and thankfully it wasn’t that serious,  but that’s when the “look at the bright side” kind of mentality ran dry. 

Both of the softshell’s palms looked horrible,  rubbed raw,  skin almost completely gone from the repeated brutal trusts and the tight grip  the genius had on his tech bo.

Still,  there was no time for his discomfort,  he quickly got out the disinfectant and sterilized wipes and got to work,  cleaning the blood and disinfecting before wrapping the injuries.

The medic was half way done when Donnie piped up:

“So, can we get over with the leader talk part?” He asked annoyedly.

“ Oh… There is no leader talk.”

“What?! But you said….”

“I lied,  dear brother. You know that’s my speciality. I just wanted to save your sorry ass from getting an earful. But  don’t let Raph know about it ,  cause I won’t be able to bail you out next time.”

“So,  you’re not angry at me?”

“ No,  not really. I’m not angry. Extremely concerned? Yes. Worried? A 100%.”

Of course he is worried. He’s sharing a roof with such a vile thing. A mere beast that only takes a little push to cut throat and tear guts.

The genius can’t explain the hatred he feels towards his own self and it probably doesn’t help that the anger from the previous fight did not disappear. His rage remained unsatisfied when he didn’t get to finish the job. 

The boiling furry right now is somewhat settled, stagnant in his core,  but still feeling like a steady drip drip drip of a leaking faucet that slowly, but certainly will get the bucket to overflow. 

Then like if twin telepathy just kicked in,  Leo spoke:

“Before you’re getting funny ideas I’m not worried of you! I’m worried for you,  dummy! Lately you act all wack. And not the usual - I haven’t slept for three days straight-  kind of wack. Back there with Hypno I could tell that you were freaking out for some reason…. Heck,  I still feel like you’re doing it. That kinda freaks me out too and I think it’s safe for me to say,  the others as well. I don’t know if this has anything to do with what you told me about in the kitchen that night…. About the Techno Drone…. Maybe it just scrambled your head and you need time to reorganize everything. I’d like to think that,  but…. I don’t know Dee… I guess I’m just superstitious,  but I have a really bad feeling. The gut kind of feeling. And that is never wrong.”

“Aaaaaaaaand,  what do you want me to say to that? Do you expect me to open up and spit out all my issues?! Are you going to force me if I don’t?! Will you snitch to Raph and Mikey and Papa?!”

“No…. Geez of course not! That would stand against everything the twin code is. I won’t push nor snitch. If the places were swapped I wouldn’t want you to push either. I guess I just wanted to let you know that I am not blind to your struggle. But I’m gonna be patient and wait till you feel like you can put the issue in words.”

“You? And waiting?” Donnie raised his eyebrows.

“ Hey,  I got a lot of practice in the Prison Dimension….” Leo joked,  painfully lighthearted.

The genius knew this was the way his twin coped,  but….too soon. Heck,  an eternity would be too soon.

Also what did he mean by “loads of practice”? Did it have to do something with what the slider said “Took you guys long enough!”when Mikey’s golden portal illuminated him? 

That’s a question for another day.

“Sigh…. I… appreciate your approach to my issues. Thank you!” 

Both of them put on a tired little smile. It was small,  but mighty,  reflecting their true emotions.

Now that Leo was done with  bandaging duty,  he positioned his hands on the cot in a way that screamed “I’m leaving” and before he could push himself up a freshly bandaged pair of hands grabbed onto the slider’s wrists pulling and  guiding him to sit on the cot.

“Oh,  wow! What’s up hermano? Do I have the ultra rare Clingytello in the room?” The blue brother joked.

“Nah, but,  I’m not blind either….”

Silence hung in the air for a good minute as they had the stare down of their life.

“You hurt your leg dum- dum! Let me take a look at it!” Clarified the softshell.

“Oh,  no, no! It’s fine! Really. There is no way it could’ve gotten hurt. I landed on literal feathers.”

Sure that was true. He did landed on a soft surface and usually wouldn’t sustain any damage,  but he can’t move that leg. Therefore during the fall he wouldn’t be able to bend it into a preferred landing position. In fact his leg would be completely on the mercy of gravitation. 

So, Leo landing wrongly wouldn’t be a far fetched idea.

“Well,  if there is nothing,  then you won’t mind me checking it right?”

 Leo was looking all tense and clearly searching for a way out. It was uncomfortable and Donnie wished his genius brain could come up with an idea to fix his twin up. He wished he could melt away Leo’s worries and fears in a way the slider did for him.

The older twin has never been a piece of cake. He was all walls and charade,  layers and layers of masks, smoke and mirrors.

He often looked like this force to be reckoned with, the north star,  hope that lights the way and guides them. But they often forget that the stars are constantly on fire, burning….

His twin’s brain was knots and loops and nooses. Tangled and tied up.

And he didn’t know how to untangle him. All he knows is that he needed to stay,  even if it seemed like it was just causing suffering for his twin.

Because the slider was often the opposite of himself,  his own biggest fan in illusion, but in reality his arch enemy.

He would run towards things that scared and  hurt him or yell “Leave me alone!” when he wanted someone to hold him close.

Donnie could relate to that. Saying one thing but believing another.

He could always hear the words behind the sentences. And right now he heard his twin loud and clear. 

Leo winched when the genius tapped his leg. There was an ugly bruise on the bend of his knee.

“Not injured a fuck! ” The purple brother hissed with no actual anger in his voice.

“Will you tell it to the others?” The older asked, voice  way too small for comfort.

“ And violate our precious twin code?! Not happening bredren!”

“Thank you….”

The softshell pulled out a comfrey cream that had been spiked up with some pain killers and began to smear it onto the injury.

“Why did you try to hide it?” The genius asked, sounding surprisingly nonchalant.

The slider’s eyes grew incredibly big,  his lip wobbled and the dam broke.

“I…..It’s just stupid! My leg… I can’t move it. I can’t stand on it. It’s just a dead weight hanging from my knee. And on top of that, how to make my life even more miserable? Let the unuseable sad excuse of a leg feel pain. Just you know… for kicks! It’s the dumbest thing in the world!” Leo whined, voice growing more and more upset with each sentence,  by the end of his speech he was near hysterical.

The softshell looked sadly at his twin. He should be the one to fix his family’s every problem. And yet here he is! Unable to find an efficient solution for months now.

And even if he could get his dum dum smartass brain to cooperate,  he was unable to  do a decent job for months now.

Turns out being Kang,  growing new body parts,  hyperfixating till you spend 10 days paying no heed to basic life necessities, drowning in self hatred and overloading your brain till you pass out,  is very distracting.

“Aaand I… I don’t want Mikey and Raph to know about this. They wouldn’t let me go again ever. My chances that they will are already slim. And….I…I know I’m just being stubborn. Nothing will help! This can’t be helped! I….I never ….never gonna be able to…. But I’m not ready to let this go! I don’t think I’ll ever be! And then what will I be in this family?! How will I be a part of it? I can’t even play housewife for you guys. I can’t cook aside from pancakes,  I doubt I could run errands and clean the house with this leg……What….what am I gonna do Dee?!”

The blue brother’s voice was filled with fear and pain. Donnie was familiar with the mental anguish of not being enough for the family. It was a concept he understood well and it pained him to see his twin displaying all these concerns so openly. It meant that Leo’s “Suppressed Emotions” bucket was overflowing.

The slider didn’t cry. Not a single tear left his face. Although he shuddered with the effort of keeping the liquid at bay. 

After all he wouldn’t want to leave the medbay and meet their orange- red brothers with puffy and red eyes. They would be asking questions what the blue brother wouldn’t want to answer.

Leo was the faceman for a reason. Even now with voice teetering on the edge on broken sobs and soft hiccups his face alone wouldn’t give away his mental state.

But the softshell clearly could see the ghosts of tears,  almost a vision…. He wished his twin would just cry for real,  because tears that never fall will never dry.

“Hey…” The genius sat beside his twin and wrapped an arm around the slider.

He might be some vile Krang monster. He might have no right to touch any of the great heroes that saved New York city,  let alone his twin. But his own self hatred and body dysphoria be damned in the face of a distressed brother who needed comfort.

“ You know emotional talks are not my cup of coffee,  but we will fix this! I will fix this, promise! So,  can you trust me and wait a little longer?” The younger twin asked,  voice incredibly soft.

“Mhm…” Came the answer as Leo buried his snout into the crook of Donnie’s neck.

They stayed like that for a while. Sitting on a cot,  half hugging in comfortable silence.

“Way to be lame huh?” The slider asked with a shy smile.

“Nah,  when you splayed on the ground when  you refused to ask for help after you just woke up from sedation,  was lamer.” Donnie grinned.

“ Can you blame me?! No one was around and I didn’t know if you guys survived at all. I was worried!” Defended himself the older twin,  making dramatic hand gestures.

“Anyways,  I should go before our bredrens gets worried about us and find you looking like you just watched your puppy being killed. I guess you wouldn’t appreciate it if they found out about the whole ordeal.”

“Yea,  you got that right.”

“Ok,  but hurry and fix your makeup! ( The genius liked to jokingly call his twin’s fake expressions to make up.) You know,  cover girls are not supposed to cry after the face is made!” The softshell snickered.

“You’re a bad bitch for knowing that!”

“Takes one to know one,  dear brother!” Donnie laughed as he left the room.

—-------------------------

The softshell’s plan was easy. On his way to his lab he stops by the living room and lets Raph and Mikey know that Leo is re-organizing the med bay- A process holy and sacred,  so no one in their right mind would dare to interrupt.- to buy his twin some extra time.

But man proposes,  God disposes,  because as soon as the genius turned the corner of the living room he almost bumped into Raph’s plastron.

Both the oldest and the youngest stood there, arms crossed,  looking like statues frozen mid an  angry stare down. They were looking at him.

“Oh,  how lucky I am to run into you bredren - sarcasm not intended (Yes,  it is.)- I was just about to inform you all that Nardo is once again back at reorganizing the medbay so he might take a while. That’s it! Now if you forgive me….”

“Don,  we need to talk.” The oldest  said in a stern voice,  sending chills down the purple brother’s spine.

“In fact, what we need is to let me go into my lab, dear Raphala. If you missed the note by any chance,  my oh so dear twin already gave me the leader's talk.”

“ Sure,  sure. Leo mig’ get to hog the right for the leader’s talk now,  but Raph still got the big brother talk in store for ya.”

“And I got the Dr. Delicate Touch talk.” Mikey chined in.

“Yea,  yea! Not happening!” Donnie waved his hand dismissively in the air like if he lazily wanted to chase a fly away.

“Raph doesn’ think yer in any position to make that decision! Ya….what ya did… It was insane Don! We are heroes for cryin’ out loud! What was yer plan? Killin’ Hypno?! That’s not how the Mad Dogz roll!”

“Hah,  he says ‘that’s not how the Mad Dogz roll’ and ‘heroes’! That’s just your childish ideals Raph! There is no jail for mutants  nor for most of the threats we are facing. How long will it take till your softness and ‘Heroism’ comes to bite us in the back?!  How long before a life you spared will cost one out of our ranks?! Before the hero mentality infects us all? Because it’s already spreading. Or have you forgotten dear brother of mine? ‘You’re the one to talk big bro? Hero moves are totally your style!’”

The eldest winced and almost shrunk in on himself. But he still tried to act tough.

The genius distantly realized that what he was doing wasn’t good. Something was at amiss with him. He felt like his control of self was slipping. He knew his brothers insecurities,  their still sore mental wounds and he did what he never did before. Went straight for it.

Sure,  if arguments sparked with the shotshell it was unavoidable that in the heat of the vicious exchange some wounds would get ripped. But right now it felt more like the whole purpose and not the unfortunate outcome.

Something in him wanted to throw all of him at them. All the ugly,  all the hurt and the mean.

He needs to get away before he says something he can’t take back. But life is not that easy isn’t it?

“That was uncalled for Dee! We are trying to help! Something is going on with you! You’re not acting like yourself and we don’t like it!”

“Oh,  suck it up Angelo! It might've been uncalled for but true nonetheless. And I’m fine! So if you excuse me…” The purple turtle tried to walk away only to be grabbed by the hand by his older brother.

“Yer ain’t goin’ anywhere! Don’ think ya can just walk away after ya snapped at us like that?! Yer gonna spill the beans of why ya bein’ a jerk!”

“You are NO BOSS OF MINE! AND LET ME GO!” Donnie yelled,  something primal flaring up in his eyes,  what made the red brother get goosebumps.

“Yer didn’t…..” The oldest was at loss of words.

“DONNIE!” Mikey yelled in a tone that clearly indicated that Dr. Delicate Touch had entered the chat.

~Warning: Emotional repression limit breached!~ ~Initiating pressure relieving protocol.~ ~ Ungating emotions.~ Emotional regulations off.~ ~ Build of emotional blockage release~

“Wait,  what?!”

And at that moment something snapped. The tightly screwed lid of the ”Repressed Emotions” jar came loose and fell to the ground. 

There was no stopping the tsunami of a lifetime (Well,  his own lifetime.) worth of anger, hurt and jealousy.

“JUST SHUT UP,  BOTH OF YOU! I HAD ENOUGH! You ,dear Raphala, so quick to pull the “Big Brother” card on us. But let’s face it, you're no wiser than any of us. You rush in and Power Smash Jutsu your way through everything  thinking that’s going to solve things. No wonder Dad elected Nardo to be a leader. (Ouch!) And now you’re unsure what your boundaries are in your new place, so you keep pushing on them. You’re trying to keep dominating us,  but you no longer have the ‘leader’ title so you try to pass everything as a big brother thing.”

“Raph’s not…..” The eldest sentence died in the back of his throat because there was some truth to what his little brother had thrown at him,  even if most of it was rage fuelled false accusations in the big guy's opinion.

“You can’t just snap at Raph like that! You’re being a jerk!” Dr. Delicate Touch yelled.

“Oho,  don’t even let me get started with you Mikey! You keep waving around your fancy made up personas and imaginary therapist degree.(UGH!) Acting like everyone,  but you were having unacceptable mental hygiene. Sure,  we are bad at emotions… But at least I’m not a hypocrite. Get off your high horse and take a look at yourself! (Jaix) I’m sure you’ll see what I see ‘Mr. Talk about your feelings,  but actually I won’t talk about mine’. So,  stop playing therapist. No one asked you to be one!”

“ Well,  someone fucking has to be,  because of the likes of you! If we are discussing places in the team and family roles why don’t we take a look at your stats, huh? Aside from your tech,  what good can you do? Nothing. You would even suck at giving a single comforting word to someone and that’s something you don’t need a degree for. If it weren’t for your big brain,  you’d be useless! (Emotional damage) And ever since the invasion,  you know we all worked hard. What were you doing?! You sulked in your room and we were worried. We clearly shouldn’t have! You were better off staying in there because no one needs you to play victim! (Offended gasp) Like sure,  we all got hurt,  but we’re getting better,  moving on,  pushing,  changing for the better. Raph almost completely lost the sight on one of his eyes. I nearly disintegrated my hands and am still dealing with the aftermath of unlocking my mystic improperly. Leo is unable to walk and he was in a coma hanging between life and death for days. And you? What about you? Tiny scratches and phantom sensations. Sure,  I’m not underestimating the hard time,  the sensory hell what the ship gave you,  but we all went through hell that day. Why are you the only one who gets to play victim?!”

(Donnie’s family had no idea about the injuries the softshell sustained.)

The orange kid clinged to his oldest brother. Fat tears trickled down his face,  unclear if it was from frustration or the emotional damage  the little one  gained from the softshell’s outburst. Maybe both. 

All his shouting died down,  now he just seemed to be in pain. One that the genius never intended to give,  but he could not stop this. The avalanche would bury them whole,  he knew that and yet his brain refused to cooperate.

The red giant stood very still. Like a herbivore cornered by a predator. He just hugged the smaller, staring in disbelief and utter shock. Maybe he also had some tears accumulating in the corner of his eyes.

“Boys,  what is this ruckus about?!” Their dad entered the room from his own.

The small rat run a look overt all three of his sons assessing the situation and probably puzzling together the bits of the argument he heard.His eyes essentially settled on his orange son’s crying form.

“Purple,  what’s the meaning of this?! You can’t just make Orange cry!”

“ Stay out of this Papa!” Donnie hissed through gritted teeths.

If things were bad before, then all hell just got unleashed with the elderly rat’s appearance. The purple turtle’s feelings were already all over the place,  ticking time bomb ready to blow and then the emotional landmine field just had to waltz in there.

He needs to get out of here ASAP. So he began to back away in the direction of his lab.

“Is that a way to talk to your father?! And where do you think you’re going, young man?!”

“To my lab.” Came the dry answer.

“Forget about it! You are grounded! No lab,  no leaving the lair until you think about your behavior!”

“And what if I don’t listen to you?”

Mikey and Raph gasped in the background.

“Then I have to force you.”

“Try me!” Donnie snarled and the old rat immediately moved to teach him a lesson.

Splinter appeared in front of the genius in a heartbeat and with the speed of light he tried to smack his son with his tail.

The orange-red duo cringed and closed their eyes upon hearing the crackle of a brutal slap.But no dull thud of their brother falling to his butt followed.

They peeled their eyes and gaped at the sight.

The softshell stood high and mighty,  a purple ninpo shield made from countless hexagons blocking their father's tail from making contact with the turtle.

Splinter was only phased for a moment,  before launching a series of tail whip attacks at an  unfollowable speed. 

The two other turtles were baffled as they saw all the seed blurry attacks being blocked by the shields with ease.

They were ninjas,  they were all fast. But never as much as their father. The old rat could land a tailwhip on any of them with an ease. To see their purple brother deflecting all of those without as much as raising a finger,  was terrifying.

The old rat seemed conflicted between being impressed by his son’s skills and angry at his disobedience. But realizing his usual discipline won’t be making the cut,  he changed the tail whipping into trying to deliver one of his famous Lou Justsu moves. The instant KO kick. 

Splinter launched himself into the air and came crashing down like a meteorite. 

The snapper and the box turtle,  although not being religious, murmured a prayer for their brother’s soul. After all, that was a killer kick that could break bones  and even  made an indent on the Shredder’s armor.

So anyone can guess the utter shock when they saw as the infamous kick was blocked.

Sure, the softshell had to raise one of his hands holding it up nonchalantly. But that was it. No matter how hard the elderly rat tried, the shield wouldn’t budge. 

Then Donnie gabe an unamused look to his rat father as he sent the shield and his father flying with a single flick of his wrist.

Splinter fell to his butt like a misbehaving child,  seemingly fazed.

“Dad!” Mikey yelled breaking free from his trance and rushing at his fathers side,  hugging him tightly.

“ Don,  you went too far!” Raph growled,  standing at the old rat’s side,  weapons already ready so he can teach a lesson to his brother himself in place of their father.

“DON’T INTERRUPT US! THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND PAPA!”  The genius shouted his words dripping wet with insatiable anger.

Of course Raph would not take orders from his little brother. Not when he didn't say please or thank you. He was steadily approaching the purple turtle and that’s when the worse turned into the worst.

The softshell didn’t think. It came all so naturally. He didn’t want anyone to be near him and his power obliged. 

A mystic arsenal formed from grenade and missile launchers to rifles and machine guns which appeared from thin air and pointed at the trio in front of him.

This was insane. Barely comprehensible even for him.

“ Hamato Donatello!” The old rat spoke voice hars.

 Oh the full name treatment… His dad was pissed. But he couldn’t care less at the moment. The swirling emotions in his head made him unable to get his mind right,  feeling like everything that was happening was a nightmarish fever dream.

“You have grown old,  you’re getting rusty Papa. But I’m getting stronger and stronger. Why do you look surprised? It was evident that the student one day out does the master. After all, strength always prevails! ”

Everyone in the room froze like a stone statue. The horror on their face as they gazed upon the softshell who definitely looked like some overpowered supervillain in the moment.

Donnie himself was just as horrified as the rest of them. What did he just say?!

“Weak words. Weak actions! I have forever known what you fail to understand! STRENGTH... ALWAYS... PREVAILS! ”

The memory of the sickening crackling of Leo’s comm,  the words that engraved themselves into every one of their minds, rushed to his head,  looping on a dizzying repeat.

The genius’ breath came in short. He was a monster! He was Krang! He pointed guns at his family! He hurt them. Not by accident but with methodically planned strikes. Punching exactly where he knew he could do some mighty damage.

At that moment he wanted to turn all his guns around,  point at himself and just fire like a maniac. He wanted to be decorated with holes,  looking like a pasta strainer. He wanted to bleed dry, drop dead. He deserved it! He deserved it all!

~ Weaponry disengagement.~

All his arsenal disintegrated into nothing.

His emotions stayed though. The stuffling self hatred,  the anger towards himself that had nowhere else to go but being poured onto his family.

Because he was Krang. A vile monster,  capable of nothing but destruction. He could not stop this…

“Very well,  I admit you have become stronger than your old man is, son. But I am still your father. And these two are your brothers. How do you take the audacity to point guns at your family?!” The rat tried to sound calmer than he actually was.

“Pff! Ha, hahahahah ahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ” The softshell laughed maniacally,  his entire body shaking from it.

His family looked in horror wondering if their brother/son has finally lost it.

“Apologies! I just find it funny,  that after all these years you walk in and start  to preach to me about family and your fatherly rights.”

“My son….”

“Yea,  you can drop the act ‘dad’. You were never really a father,  were you? Sure,  you saved us from Draxum, gave us a place to live and food,  but that’s it. Do you think with taking care of our basic life necessities your job as a father was fulfilled?! You never been there…” Donnie’s voice now wasn’t just laced with anger,  but an astronomical amount of hurt.

“What are you talking about?! Dad was always the best dad ever!” Mikey yelled tears still escaping him at an alarming rate and face red from anger.

“Sure,  for you. Because our dear Papa has  huge, clearly visible favoritism!”

“I have not!” Retorted the old rat.

“Oh really?! Then I must have mistaken how you call Raph to your Little Soldier. Or you call Mikey to your Sunshine. Tell me Papa,  what did you call me and Nardo? Wait, don't answer,  I got it! Disaster.”

“But that’s what you are, the Disaster Twins!” Mikey shouted, voice mixed with something akin of a whine.

“Sure we adapted it because what else were we supposed to do?! We thought we would rather embrace it than keep being upset about it. But still,  is that something a father should call his tiny children? Not even jokingly,  dead serious. Don’t try to fool me! I know you were dead serious.” 

“Do not talk like that Purple! I haven’t raised you like this!”

“Raised me?!RAISED ME?! Dad you didn’t raise shit! If anyone gets to say that line,  it would be Raph. And even that would only apply to dear Angelo. You know when you leave a child to raise an additional three children it’s unavoidable that they won’t be able to give attention to all of them. Me and Nardo both understood that early on. We were never angry at Raphie for choosing Mikey to concentrate on. Even if it fucking hurt! But you . You weren’t even involved with anything.”

“That’s not true!”

“ Oh,  then tell me! When I was four and got lost in the sewers during a brutal winter,  did you come to search for me? Did you scan every nook and cranny afraid that your child might have frozen to death? No. Your fuckin spanish romcom was worth more than my life. It’s not like they air the episode again in the afternoon.”

“I sent Red to get you back. And he did!” The old rat defended himself.

“Sure. What a wise choice to send out your other half cold blooded son. It was a miracle we made it back.”

“Ok,  ok I admit that was not a responsible parental choice. But everyone can make mistakes.”

“Sure,  but not as many as you did. Or should I ask you that when it was bed story time you never ever read a single book me or Nardo liked? It was always Raph’s Cinderella or Mikey’s little Dino Tale.”

“You two always wanted me to read things that your brothers didn’t enjoy or understand.”

“And I didn’t enjoy the Fairy tales. But I sucked it up. Would’ve it killed anyone if every once in a while they would have to listen to something they didn’t like the way I did every time?!”

The old rat winced.

“Ok we get yer point,  now drop it Don!”

“Oh why, dear Raphala, I haven't even gotten to the best part yet! Let me ask you, Papa,  when I was nine and my shell lacerated during roughhousing what did you do? Did you act like a good parent and searched high and low for a doctor? Did you try to mend it yourself? NO! You told me that it wasn’t that bad and sent me away with -what?-  a layer of bandage on my shell.You didn’t even ask about it later on. Did you know how bad that wound was?! Did you know that it actually needed stitches?! DID YOU KNOW THAT NARDO,  YOUR NINE YEARS OLD SON DID THE STITCHES WATCHING SOME STOLEN MEDICAL SCHOOL FOOTAGE?”

“What?” The trio cried up in unison.

“Yea, do you remember, bredren when Mikey fell during skateboarding when we were twelve and he needed stitches? Could you tell me dear Angelo what Nardo told you as comfort?”

“He.. He said: Don't worry, I 've done this before!” The box turtle let out a painful whine upon realization.

“Wait,  Raph thought he was joking!”

“Well,  news flash he wasn’t!”

“Alright my son. I understand your upset. I was not a good parent,  not even a decent person at that time…. But I changed. I can’t ask you to forgive me……but could we just sit down and perhaps….. talk? Tell me the things that kept bothering you for so long. I’m trying to be a better father for all of you. Won’t you help this old rat mend his ways?” Splinter spoke with utter defeat in his tone.

He sounded sincere about trying to change. But it didn’t matter. Not when Donnie was unglued and ruthless,  stripped from his usual control of emotions.

He was a loaded gun and he will go off like one.

“That’s all nice and all Papa. And you know if this change of heart had come over you like - What?-  ten years ago you would’ve made the day of a tiny softshell and a tiny slider. But an apology and a promise to do better won’t erase the past. It won’t heal our scars. It won’t change how Nardo kept apologizing to you in his medicine-high state in the dead of the night, because he failed. He failed ! To sacrifice himself?! It won’t change that he felt like you only will be proud of him once you stand beside his grave. So,  I’m sorry,  but too little too late Papa!” The intensity and the venom died down at the last sentence of the genius, almost sounding actually apologetic.

And then the purple brother walked away. Not towards the lab but to the exit of the lair.

He just turned the corner when he was welcomed by the sight of his twin who was leaning to the wall,  silently listening into the conversation. (Leo always loved to eavesdrop. ) 

How long the slider could’ve been standing there?! Did he hear the entire outburst? Did he hear Donnie repeating Krang Prime’s line?

The younger twin didn’t know the answers. And he didn’t dare to look at his twin to scan for information. He was too afraid from finding the same haunted look on the blue brother’s face as the rest of his family’s.

Everything was a mess. Incomprehensible, too much. His brain was overloaded, feeling almost like an error, a glitch in the system. All these emotions were running wild. They were all over the place, sending him out of his mind.The softshell just wanted to understand, to know what the hell was going on with him, but it felt hopeless.

All he knew, that he loved his family and yet just like a monster, hurt them. He wanted to protect them, kill and steal for their sake if that was needed, but it just kept hurting them. The equation was love, but no matter how many times he did the math, the answer always ended up being violence.

Running out of options he just ran away. Disappearing into the dark corridor.

—---------------------------

In the middle of the living room floor were three very messed up family members huddled close in near complete silence.

No one spoke, the only noise was the orange kid’s quiet sobs and the elderly rat’s broken cries.

The slider turned the corner,  to make himself visible to his family, leaned to the wall,  so he had his hands free from his crutches and began to clap in a slow mocking way.

“Wow! Good job fam! Way to set off the bomb I barely diffused.”

“Are you just here to rub salt into the wounds?!” Mikey whined.

“Nope,  I’m here to damage control.”

“Leo,  what the ffffffffffffflip?! Raph thought ya had ‘Leader talk’ with Don!” The red brother yelled, finally breaking free from his shocked state.

“And I did, dear Raphie. I can’t help you don't like my methods. But as far as I know scolding and yelling somehow always misses the point. In my case it just pissed me off and made me less likely to listen to anything you wanted to say. I don’t think I’m alone with that sentiment. So it’s time to take a new approach,  don’t you think?”

And ok Raph couldn’t actually be angry at the slider because he was right. His methods kept failing. Maybe he should listen more often to what Leo wants to say even if he kinda says it in an infuriating manner.

“My son, I am so sorry!” Splinter apologized,  and jaix the old man  was a mess.

“It’s all cool Daddio. I’m not really angry at you. Sure you weren’t the best parent in the past,  but for better or worse I never knew how it feels to have a father who was….well…..your father figure in your life.(Critical hit!) If you get what I mean. And it kinda sucked that Raphie only could give his full attention to one child,  but neither me nor my twin wanted to take that away from Mikey, ever. Neither did we blame either of them. Besides, we were there for each other. I personally couldn’t wish for any other way to grow up. Aaaaand  DonTron was just angry. I don’t fully agree with half of what he said and I’m sure he doesn’t either.”

The trio on the floor let out a breath that they didn’t know they were holding and tears slowly started to dry.

“But,  if there is just  one thing, I absolutely agree with him….”

Leo looked at the little family pile in the middle of the living room,  then his eyes settled to stare hauntedly into their dad’s before finishing the sentence: 

“You should be more careful! I mean you heard half the argument or less and yet you immediately jumped in defending Raph and Mikey. You didn’t even consider it for a moment that they might’ve been in the wrong. Sure they weren't in the red. No one was,  but you didn’t even consider any other option. You didn’t even think about listening to Donnie’s version of the story. So, next time try not to wave around your favoritism like a lightsaber. It can hurt like a bitch.”

Dead silence.They stared at the slider who had a rarely show dead serious face. No,  maybe even more than that. His mismatched eyes looked so empty,  dull and distant. He almost looked like a dead man. Completely rid of emotions. 

They would not even begin to decipher what was the truth behind his mask. And holy shit,  he looked even more intimidating  for a moment than Donnie did with an entire mystic arsenal. 

Then like if someone flipped a switch the blue turtle’s face changed to a happy face in an instant.

Leo wobbled back a bit and leaned on one crutch to slash open a portal.

“Welp,  this was unpleasant and stressful. I make some Camomile tea. Heaven knows we all need it.”

And with that he stepped through the portal leaving to the kitchen.

He has been doing that a lot lately. Not the tea. Sure he did that a lot too, but the important matter on hand is the portal.

He put his ability to good use to get around the house. After all, it was a pain for him to wobble his way here and there. 

Now that the blue brother was absent the rest of the present family members sat there in shock.

Splinter was seemingly traumatized by the information he learned about the twins. Poor rat man was shaking like a little kid who just got scolded by their strict parents.

And honestly the orange- red duo wasn’t any better.

Donnie was thinking Splinter was playing favorites and based on that comment Leo totally agreed. It was just a cherry on top that after what they heard no one could deny that the rat father did have favoritism.

But to think that they did not notice the twin’s suffering for so long,  made them really question if they knew them at all.

Chapter Text

Donnie left the lair and headed for the Hidden City. He didn’t have any destination in mind,  he just needed to get away! Away! Far far away from his family if he’s still not disowned because of the way he behaved.

He was awful. He never should have spoken to any of his family like that.

But he couldn’t stop. Anger like molten lava coursed through his veins. He was burning alive from its intensity.

Other emotions he usually kept under wraps raced up and down. Filling him up to the point the pressure was about to tear his body apart. He felt physical pain from all the years and years of repressed feelings piling up in his “For Later” box.

And all the self hatred, possible body dysphoria and guilt was just the peak of the mountain.

He was scanning the city streets,  desperately searching for a way to let out all this pain.He desperately needed something,  an outlet to vent his frustration.

If he didn’t before,  now he could understand his red brother’s anger issue better. It was just too much.

Then as he was passing by hipping from rooftop to rooftop, (Which he didn’t needed to do. He was in the HC he would’ve walked like any normal person, but he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t murder anyone who just dared to say hi to him. Besides , right now he couldn’t be a normal person,  not even in the eyes of yokais.) he spotted three wolf guys in a dark alley. The predatory yokais were cornering this little bunny girl. The bunny,  wolf contrast was almost ironic.

One of the wolves grabbed the girl’s hands,  restricting her movements as he pushed her to the wall.

The genius could not hear what they said. But he could clearly see the bunny’s distress and feeble attempt to break free.

Then the other two wolves began to unbuckle their belts and the one manhandling the girl proceeded to rip off the buttons of her shirt.

Donnie wasn’t really the vigilante type of turtle. Sure he did his fair share of crime fighting,  but only with his brothers. Fighting pitiful little bad guys,  catching robbers and upskirters was more like a work for the Red Angel Of Preventing Harm,  AKA Raph.

Honestly the shotshell didn’t have half as good morals as his orange and red brothers. He and his twin tended to be more on the morally gray spectrum.

But rape, -or attempted rape as the genius was sure he won’t sit idly and watch-  was something even him wouldn’t let to slide. Even if it was kinda against his “I’m not the police,  so I have nothing to do with non mystic or supervillain related crimes” policy . And if he left the case alone…. This wasn’t a highly populated area,  barely anyone on the streets, let alone near this alley. No one would’ve stumbled upon the crime in time to  stop it.

Besides, he was extremely pissed today and he was in the HC to search for an outlet for his new found anger problem.

So yea,  incredibly lucky for the bunny and unlucky for the wolves,  but this turtle was about to kick some ass into oblivion. Aaaaand bonus point that even if he went to far like with Hypno,  he wouldn’t be able to find it in him,to feel bad for those rape attempting scumbags.

The genius hopped off the roof and immediately bonked in the head the wolf that stood in the middle.

It was pretty unlike him to start a fight with no witty lines,  snarky remarks even if running one’s mouth was his twin’s speciality. But right now he couldn’t think about anything else than itching to let his frustration out. He wanted his bo staff to collide with flesh,  he wanted to hear the painted grunts,  he wanted to destroy these lowly life forms just for kicks.

 The softshell distantly recognised that all his usually stifled aggression and slightly sadistic tendencies were bubbling out,  amplified and unfiltered. But he didn’t really care.

All three wolves were looking at him in shock. The middle one clutching his injured head that had a thin trail of blood flowing down discoloring his gray fur.

Hmm… He was aware that he had gotten way stronger than he used to be - proven by his fight with his rat father-  but he never thought that a single blow intended to be just a warm up,  would draw blood.

While everyone was surprised,  the bunny girl took her cue and escaped the odd scene.

“Sweet Galileo,  she didn’t even thank me! Rude!”

The wolves finally collected themselves and quickly assessed that their little unwilling date had escaped.

“You have done it now kid!” Wolf number  one growled.

“ You know the rules! Let go of our plaything,  you become our plaything.” Wolf two said in a rather happy tone.

“We gotta give this one the rough treatment. He hits like a motherfucker!” Said wolf three,  the one Donnie smacked.

“Really?! Anyone is suffice for you guys?! How badly do you need your fix?” Snickered the genius.

There are his usually snarky tone,  he was worried for a moment that he lost his rizz to being Krang.

“Shut up! You're gonna regret ever crossing us!” Growled wolf three.

“Oh sure,  just a minute,  let me add you guys to the waitlist. You wouldn’t believe how many people are in line to make me regret or pay for things I have done.”

“Such a foolish child!” Wolf one sneers.

“Khm… Excuse you,  my intelligence is way higher than you guys all together! Besides, if you collectively had just two barincel you wolves could’ve come up with a better solution to your problem than attacking random yokais on the street. Like there are three of you. If you need it so badly, solve it between yourselves.” Donnie snickered,  only hoping that the wolves were not siblings and he did not suggested incest.

The wolves didn’t take kindly to the purple turtle’s teasing. They snarled at him,  then just like wild animals they began to circle around the softshell,  probably trying to intimidate him.

Scoff! They were mere mortals. They ain’t got shit on the guys who faced the Krang. They were nothing compared to those space monsters. They were nothing compared to Donnie as he was a krang himself.

It didn’t take long before the fight broke out. The wolves launched themselves at the turtle one after another,  only to be evaded easily.

The three yokais frustration grew and the softshell just moved around almost as if he was dancing.

He could’ve hit the wolves. It would’ve been easy to find an opening in their uncoordinated and untrained movements. But the shotshell was just enjoying their frustration. This was just the opening act. He has all the time in the world to play with these lowly life forms like a cat plays with a mouse before taking a bite.

He knew it was unlike him to just watch suffering with delight. Sure he loved to see his brothers struggle to fix something or see them fail to stand up when they were ice skating, but this was different.

At the moment he was sure that he could stab the yokais and just sit around watching them slowly bleed out in agony and feel nothing, but joy and delight upon observing as their  lives drain from them.

He didn’t even have anything personal against them. It would've been just for kicks. Suffering for his entertainment.

What did that say about him?!

He was monstrous,  cruel,  bloodthirsty,  all high and mighty. He was Krang. A danger to everyone around. A hateful,  hateful alien beast, that should’ve been locked up in the Prison dimension. Because it felt like that’s where he belonged.

And yet,  he was here. Selfish as ever, to try and live his life as if nothing happened.

He got bored with the wolves' fruitless attempts and changed the approach from defense to offense. Nothing feels better than a good beating,  well if you are not on the receiving end at least.

The softshell was in the game now. He summoned his ninpo  hammer,  the form of his tech bo that he lately preferred, -probably because it was just as brutal as him nowadays.- and twirled around. He hit wolf two in the back and sent him flying into the next wall. The yokai collided with a loud crash.

Wolf one jumped at him from behind trying to choke the genius,  only to be thrown over and hitting the ground in front of the turtle,  all air knocked out from the yokai with a agonizing wheeze.Then Donnie lifted his leg and stomped the splayed out wolf into the abdomen. The guy hurled painfully, as a choked half sob got bitten back while he tried to keep the content of his stomach inside.

And it looked so pleasant. The way how those lowly maggots wiggled in front of his feet,  finally getting the gist of that they belonged there.

Wolf two springed back as soon as he subtracted himself from the indent in the wall. He tried to grab the turtle’s mask tail and probably knee his face but unexpectedly (To the wolf. Donnie was 100℅ expecting it,  thank you very much.) he genius’ battleshell extended one of its mechanical arms to grab the wrist of the yokai and hold him in place as the turtle twisted himself in an impossibly flexible way and with a brutal swing he hit the guy right in the elbow,  dislocating his arm with a sickening crack.

Wolf two howled in pain and Donnie just stared at him with a manic grin plastered onto his face.

He was aware that he looked and probably was bat shit insane,  but just as everything else, this felt like a distant thought as well. Like if all his own thoughts were just a mere viewer’s observations. Suggestion,  little notes that will not influence the actions of the protagonist even if he was hearing all of it.

Wolf one,managed to collect himself enough so he could crawl and hold the genius’ feet..

“Such a futile attempt!”

The turtle was about to lift his other leg to stomp on the pitiful yokai when wolf two -also on the ground clutching his dislocated arm mere moments ago-  used his still good hand to grab that leg as well.

“This is getting ridiculous!”

Can’t they see they have no way of winning?! Yet they resist. Such little pests…

Oh….. Again… Donnie was sick to the stomach from his own thoughts. He wished he could just grab his multifunctional tech bo and crack his skull open like a ripe watermelon then scoop out every bit of brain that was tormenting him.

Because what was this if not torture?!

He was a Krang. He tried to deny it… He tried so hard to convince himself that he wasn’t like them even if he was biologically.

But everything was out of control and it turns out he’s in and out just like those monstrous aliens.

He brought pain and looked down on every being. Spoke the exact way Krang Prime did…. Almost like if he was a broken record repeating that horrible day that made him crawl out of his skin.

The wolves were just like him and his family in a way. Sure they were rapists and horrible people,  but they struggled in the face of a force to be reckoned with,  with the same “running on hope” determination.

And he couldn’t help seeing his twin and his little brother struggling to keep him- the Krang-  in place,  trying to buy time for Raph to drive a devastating smash in.

Wait?! Keeping him in place?! Letting a third team mate land a hit?! 

It’s wolf one and wolf two. Since the beginning of the fight,  it was just wolf one and wolf two…

Sweet Galileo,  where is wolf three?!

As soon as he formed the thought he felt a painful tug on his chest. It feels like someone was trying to pull his soul out from behind.

He whipped his head around, again with the unnatural flexibility (Boy did the complete owl head turn.) and a loud crack. The turtle immediately noticed wolf three standing there with the biggest shit eating grin on his face. He was holding a tiny crystal ball that was getting more and more purple by the minute.

Fuck! Donnie recognised that little globe. It was a smaller version of the one Draxum bringed along,- lately more often than before- to suck out Mikey’s harmful excess mystic energy. It was a temporary solution, emphasis on the temporary. Especially since these balls were highly illegal. ( Not like Baron Draxum gave two crap about that.)

Anyways,  this motherfucker was sucking away his power which was connected to his life force. And although it was impossible to actually damage someone’s soul with the artifact, the sudden exhaustion would leave any yokai temporarily defenseless,  unable to even lift a finger.

He was doing the math,  trying to figure out that with his extraordinary healing factor and potency for mystic ( Not as much as Mikey of course.) how long he will be incapacitated. But no matter how much he wants to be badass,  he can’t see a single scenario where he can move before ten minutes.

Aaaaand ten minutes is pretty long when you have three very pissed rapists for company,  who do not really have any preference when it comes to victims.

The shotshell falls onto the ground,  splayed out like a bear rug. Wolf three pockets his mystic artifact and crouches in front of the turtle. He grabs Donnie’s chin,  squishing his cheeks, in a way that resembles some oversexualized movie villain.

“Not so feisty now,  huh turtle?” Wolf three snickers.

And ok,  the genius is usually not the one who would pull out the nasties, -that’s more like Leo,  unless the older twin decides to cover the younger’s mouth and then what can he do,  but lick his twin’s hand?!- but oh,  well…. Donnie collects all his saliva and spits in the face of the wolf.

“Go and fuck yourself!” Donnie hisses.

The two other wolves,  out of the softshell’s field of view, giggles and the yokai in front of him wipes the spit from his snout. A manic grin stretched from ear to ear on his face as he spoke with venom dripping words.

“ Still feeling ballsy aren’t we? Let’s fix that,  real quick! I heard softshell turtles have very sensitive shells…..”

The yokai gestures with his head and the two behind the genius grabs his battleshell and begins to pry it off.

The purple turtle panics. His shell was always a weak point. God damn it, the smallest touch made him feel terrified like if he was dying and even a miniscule scratch would hurt like if someone was breaking his back bones.

The fear immediately  held him hostage,  lungs seizing,  his body going rigid and  his head only filled with terror.

Not his shell! Get away from it!

His tech fights against the unholy hands that’s trying to violate him,  but eventually gives in with a metallic pop. He still didn’t fix the hinge that came loose when he…he sprouted…tentacles….

Tentacles? His eyes go even wider than they were,  from a new horror that strikes him.

The wolves are about to unleash that monstrosity he kept contained under his artificial shell.

If this event would’ve happened a few months ago it would be true that his battle shell was for his protection,  but right now…. It doubled as a prison for that atrocity of body parts he had.

He doesn't want this! He hates this! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT! He’s scared!

~Self defense mode activated!~

And then hell broke loose. The battelshell fallen to the ground and four pink tentacle risen from the turtle’s back,  immediately transformed pointy and metallic hard.

The wolves don't even have time to register what’s happening when three of the four flesh vine pierces through each yokai’s shoulder.

The trio howls in agony and Donnie can do nothing else but curl up into a little ball,  wishing the word away.

The Krang appendages began to fling the impaled wolves around, smashing them into walls and the ground,  pulling on the poor turtle’s sensitive and sore skin. It sent jolts of pain down his spine  every vicious movement. He clutched his own arms trying to ground himself with the blooming pain of forming bruises from  his own grasp.

Endless sounds of the breaking surroundings and wolf bones,  the sickening cries, pleading for mercy….

The genius can’t give them that… He’s just a host to this thing, a flesh vessel to the parasite. ~That’s not true!~ He can’t stop it! He wishes he could! He wants to stop it.

Nausea swirls in his stomach,  his breathing comes in short,  his head spins and the world around him seems like a fever dream as blood falls from above like rain and it tickles down the tentacles,  so the turtle can taste the sickening  flavor of his enemy’s blood.

He gags and dry heaves but it does not matter. Not even when bile rises in his throat… Nothing can overpower the intoxicating taste of that blood. Nothing can wash the taste away as it is not in his mouth,  it’s not even actually like a taste, it’s the tentacles,  but he can’t even begin to explain any other way the revolting sensation that being force feeded with his brain.

And at one point the sensation grows too strong for him to handle and the genius blacks out.

He has no idea how long it could've been, when he comes to,  but since the wolves are all lying on the ground,  flesh vine removed from their shoulders and the blood puddle under them is relatively small,  Donnie would assume it wasn’t that long.

He stares at the motionless three bodies. They are mangled, bruised till they are unrecognizable,  limbs twisted into impossible degrees,  blood covering everything like if a bomb had blown someone into smithereens. 

And the softshell is horrified from his own handy work. He…. He …killed them… brutally… he…how will he go home?! How could a murderer live happily with his family?! His brothers deserve better than that! He wouldn’t be able to look into their eyes… He didn’t want THIS! HE COULDN’T STOP!

Then a tentacle lowers down to one the lifeless bodies. It touches the wolf’s neck…

 BADUM~ BADUM~

A steady heartbeat….

Donnie clumsily  scrambles to the other wolves putting his fingers against their necks.

BADUM~ BADUM~

Their pulse drums steadily. They are ALIVE!!!!! Not in a good condition,  but….. Donnie did not kill them!

The genius lets out a breath that he was holding for way too long.

Then he hears noises,  voices and footsteps creeping closer.

Even though this wasn’t a densely populated area,  people still lived here and given the fact that the softshell broke walls and made grown ass wolves cry like little children, he probably awoke the entire neighborhood.

The genius stood up,  legs still wobbly from the ninpo loss,  but getting steadier by the minute. Blood was still dripping from his appendages. That’s quite troubling….

As soon as  he made the mental note the flesh vines shook themselves and got rid of every last bit of blood. Weird, blood was known from leaving a strain and being hard to remove without a trace. But ok,  he won’t complain.

The alien body parts retracted,  leaving an icky sensation of crawling skin.

Donnie quickly gathered his battleshell,  put it back on,  despite knowing that its hinge is broken now and it won’t really clap onto his shoulder anymore. But he couldn’t help it. Without his artificial shell on, there is nothing to keep the monstrosity attached to him at bay.

He hops up to the roof and waits till he hears a scream of help from one of the nosy (probably) neighbors. The wolves have been found and soon they will receive treatment. There is no good in hanging around any longer. Especially looking like he just committed a murder. Which wouldn’t be that far from the truth.

The softshell heads home. Tiredness and disgust from his own self ever present in his body. He just wants to go home,  lock himself into his lab and wither away out of sight out of mind.

Honestly this time he might manage it. Like his family hates him now… He can’t blame them. He would,  and he does hate himself. His dad was a thing,  the old rat did neglect him and his twin. Eventually the cat was bound to get out of the bag. The genius just wished it was Leo who spilled the beans. He would have been able to be less upset about it… Umm correction,  he would’ve been able to act less upset about it and convey the message without giving their old man a heart attack.

After all,  despite all the indifference  that the old man exhibited towards the softshell,  he loved his dad. He wished he was one of his favorites….

But suck it up, he wasn’t!

So,  he was utterly horrified by his own actions. And the worst part is that his emotions were still ruthlessly washing over him,  so if he runs into anyone he’s sure that it all will happen again.

His brothers on the other hand,  didn’t deserve any of that. Sure they were annoying when they wouldn’t leave him alone minding their own business. And sure,  Mikey did throw sticks and stones at him once he pissed the little one upp,  but that was his fault.

Aww, banana pancakes! He was a horrible son,  a horrible brother….

He got back to the lair. Quickly making his way to the lab and putting his battleshell into the auto clean. (Of course he made an auto clean just for that!) He pulled out another  fake shell,  the Spider one with the mechanical limbs. He was avoiding that one,  because the four arms made him remember the tentacles that were now a permanent addition of his  anatomy,  but he needed something on his back and wearing his flight shell indoors would raise some eyebrows if anyone still cared…

So, he ignored his discomfort ,  put on the chosen  artificial shell and rubbed his itchy snout. His hand immediately smeared the blood that was still on his face.

”Wonderful!”

The softshell face planted into his desk. He should wash up! He hates being all sticky and icky,  but he was damn tired. So sad,  depressed, fear of everything that happened and everything he was now weighing him down like lead.

All he wanted is to just cease existing. This was  pain! This was torture!

“Hey,  you good?” Came a voice from the open  doorway.

For fucks sake,  he forgot to close and lock it! He’s doomed!

The purple turtle slowly lifted his head. He spotted his twin standing in the doorway,  slightly leaning against the door frame with two steaming mugs in his hands, his  form only illuminated by faint purple lights from the lab.

The smell of camomile wafted the room. Damn,  Leo was here to comfort him. After all it was a well known fact that the softshell wasn’t fan of tea. But it was a less common knowledge that his huge tea hatred had exceptions. Those being camomile,  -Used when he was stressed- lavender,- When he was overstimulated or couldn’t sleep.- and peppermint. - In case he upsetted his stomach.- Every other tea,  work of the devil.

And of course who else would know about his tea preferences if not his twin?

But he really can’t do this. All the emotions are unstable, swirling vortex inside his brain.  They came and went as they wished. And the genius knows that his hatred towards himself,  his anger and pain pain painpainpainpainPAINPAINPAIN, mixed into a bitter concoction that was explosive as a dynamit,  ready to blow right into his twin’s face.

Donnie’s fear washed over him like a tidal wave. His twin, his brother,  his only family that yet to hate him…. He didn’t want to be hated! He didn’t want to be alone! He wanted to be held,  to be comforted!

Hilarious,  his grown ass teen  self wanted to cry like a lost child for his twin. Shame be damned, he wanted to scream Leo’s name till his voice chords went tender and he lost his ability to speak.

He wasn’t always in for the hugs,  but now he would sell his own bones to be held by the slider who would whisper sweet nothings into his “ear” and give him a sense of safety even if it was false.

Fucking pathetic he knows. He…. He doesn’t understand what’s going on with him. He hates it! He hates how the emotions ravage him. How he feels like a lost child,  running from a monster in the deep dark woods. A monster that was too close. Always too damn close.

The tentacles began to scratch the inside of his battleshell,  trying to break free,  thirsty for more blood. But no way the softshell will let them feast on his brother. Sure he can’t do much against the overpowering appendages,  but if he can't just deny his own selfish need for comfort and love from his family,  he can keep his twin safe.

“Go away,  Nardo,  I’m busy!”

“ Suuuuure,  with what?! Observing the molecules of your table?”

“With things, your dum dum brain can’t comprehend!”

“Ahh come on, don’t be like that! I literally hopped my way here from the kitchen. There is no way I’m turning back now!”

And ok,  the softshell can’t deny that it’s impressive how his twin was capable of carrying beverages while hopping on one leg,  without spilling any. It’s fucking black magic,  he swears!

”Focus! Don’t let him get his way!”

“Well,  there is a way because I’m kicking you out!”

“DonTron…”

“Out! Go away, please!”

“Donald…”

“OUT! Go already! I…I can’t….”

“Don…”

”OUT! Why are you not listening to me?!”

“Dee…”

“GET LOST! Please don’t leave!”

At that moment the softshell felt as emotions boil to the point of no control. He just wanted to protect his twin. But Leo was so stubborn!

He… he can’t protect him! And he’s scared and in pain and he wants this to be over. Just leave him ALONE!

He acted on impulse, grabbed an empty mug that was laying on his table,  took a swing and threw the porcelain object at his twin.

The mug hit the metal  door frame with a loud crash and shattered into a million pieces like a fragmentation grenade, shards flying everywhere.

The porcelain pieces chimed as they hit the ground then dead silence….

The purple brother’s eyes grow wide,  pupils shrunk to the size of peas darting frantically between his twin and the mess on the floor.

What did he just DO?! No,  no, no, nonononononoNONONONONONONONONONONONO! He… threw that at his brother. He could’ve gotten hurt! What if he got hurt?! He can’t see it in this dark..  He can’t see the slider’s expresion!

How could he do that?! He knew that Leo had no chance dodging that with his paralyzed leg. Yet he did it. He hurt him! He hurt him! HURTHURTHURTHURTHURTHURTHURT!

“I…I….sor….r…..y…” Is all what the genius managed to mumble.

The softshell’s fingers painfully dug themselves into the flesh of his upper arms and he curled in on himself as much as it was physically possible.The tentacles still viciously squirmed under his metal shell,  but he didn’t care about that pain.

Overstimulated tears rolled down on his face. Hot,  almost burning like acid.

He faintly cognized two small thuds of mugs being placed onto his desk,  but there was no way he would open his tightly screwed eyes.

Then he felt the aura of hands hovering above his form. After a few seconds, not receiving any sign of resistance, (Gotta be careful when you’re dealing with someone who’s not always up to physical touch.) the same kindly warm hands wrapped him into a gentle hug.

Donnie wanted to push them away. His twin’s oh so comforting hands… He didn’t deserve it! But he was selfish and tired. So he just let the heat wash away a fraction of the terror that had settled in his bones.

The genius rambled half choked broken apologies,  not even registering the words that left his mouth.

Leo kept comfortingly hushing him,  letting him know it was alright and rubbing soothing circles onto his neck,  the exact way he did it when they were tiny tots and a thunderstorm hit. Donnie had a phase when he was scared from the loud noise it created. But he quickly grew out of it. Still,  he doesn’t think he would ever grow out of his twin’s hugs. Even though he won’t tell him that.

Time seemed to stop as the softshell’s body went lax in the slider’s hold,  his heartbreaking cries subsided,  turning into quiet sobs as he buried his snout into Leo’s shoulder.

He was utterly exhausted. All these emotions were too much for his autistic brain to handle. Gosh,  he doesn't remember when was the last time he had a meltdown so bad.

His body was shivering, his nostrils were clogged and his mask was drenched. He was a disgusting mess. His cleanliness freak side was screaming bloody murder into his ear to clean up,  but he was just too tired.

Rational thoughts feeling miles away as his now unbound feelings running rampant still making his chest tight. And he felt like he would’ve fallen apart if he wasn’t held together by tight arms.

He was still loved. At this moment. But for how long? How long before this uncontrollable side of his will do something horrible to his family? Would his twin still hold him if he revealed he was Krang?

He’s not an optimist to think so. And the thought hurt more than any wound he ever sustained, more than anyone could imagine.It threatened him to just get another break down….

He hated this! He wishes he could just put the lid back on to the jar of his suppressed emotions, then move on. Because he can’t stand this! The way how silly emotions enslave him…

“It’s ok! You’re ok! I’m ok!” Leo chanted a whisper into his “ear”.

The same one the softshell told him whenever the older twin awoke from a nightmare in the medbay.

Donnie finally gathered himself enough to open his eyes and look at his twin in the dimly lit room.

He wasn’t hurt,  it was a relief he didn’t hit him. Even bigger relief that he doesn’t seem to be angry with him.

“I’m sorry.. “ The genius apologized sheepishly.

“Bro,  I told you it’s ok!”

“It’s not! That’s why I am apologizing,  because it’s not ok! You could’ve gotten HURT!”

“Yea,  I could’ve,  but I didn’t. Besides, two weeks ago I threw a water balloon filled with slime at you. You could’ve gotten hurt from that,  couldn’t you?”

“It’s two entirely different levels of danger Nardo.”

“Fine! Then I won’t say it’s ok! I’ll say I forgive you! Do you have any rethort against this one too?”

“SIGHT. No,  I don’t…”

Leo nodded pleased, as he gave a last strong squeeze to his twin before peeled away and Donnie had to bite back a heart broken chirp as he mourned the loss of comforting pressure.

The blue brother scratched his neck then he froze.

“What… is this smell?” The slider,  -known for his good sense of smell- sniffed the air,  looking like a search dog for a hard second.

Then he brought down his hand, staring at it, scared stiff. His entire palm was stained red. The liquid was thick and slowly dropped to his thighs.

The blue turtle looked up sharply,  eyeing his genius brother. A faint purple light ray illuminated the sotshell’s form, barely enough so the slider can make it out…. How his twin was drenched in blood. It soaked his purple mask dripping from its tails, it was running down on his cheeks onto his shoulder and then tickled down his plastron to the floor.

Leo’s breath hitched as he went pale as a ghost,  his eyes darting up and down on Donnie’s body.

He usually could tell whose blood was that from just the smell,  but the slider got caught off guard and now he was too panicked to think straight.

The genius didn’t understand it at first. What was his problem?!Then his own eyes fell onto the slider’s hand.

Blood… On his hand,  on the crook of his neck and shoulder where the purple turtle buried his snout.

Shit! Shit! SHIT! He forgot to clean it off and now he smeared it all over his twin,  who looked at him like the side character in a horror movie when they’re about to get stabbed by the killer.

Maybe he will get stabbed. Who knows?! Donnie? The genius doesn’t know anything anymore! He lately does a whole lot of shit he didn’t intend on.

Leo frantically scans every inch of the softshell and the younger twin can’t take his eyes off his brother’s scared to death expression.

Then the older heaves a relieved sight and puts on a tired smile to his face as he finally managed to calm down enough to recognise the blood was not his twin’s.

”The fuck just happened?!” He’d really liked to know sometimes what’s going on in his twin’s dum dum head.

“Dee,  do I need to bring the shovel and the bag?” The slider asks, stretching his smile just a little further.

Shovel and bag? Oh,  wait he remembers that one!

When they were like twelve- ish they had a silly conversation going on in the middle of the night. The genius can’t quite recall every detail,  but he remembers that their conclusion was a dum dum promise: “If you kill a man,  no questions asked. I’ll bring the shovel and the bag,  then I'll help hide the body and vice versa!”

Joking at a time like this… Typical Leo. Except one thing. It’s miniscule and if he didn’t know the slider well he wouldn’t even notice.

He has a smile on his face but his eyes…. They are not matching his cheery expression. They’re dead serious and it makes the softshell believe that if he said “yes” his twin would pop a portal open with the sword which he is not so subtly already clutching and actually bring out a shovel and a bag to help Donnie hide a body.

And he can’t help but chuckle a bit inside of his head. It’s so surreal how the blue turtle looked like a ghost because he thought his twin was seriously hurt,  but being as lively as ever and not giving a crap if his brother was a murderer.

“Nah… They’ll live. And they deserved it. They were rapists.” The softshell supplied.

“Ok,  no one asked, buuuut I guess you're right,  they deserved a butt kicking! Also, I hope you kicked them in the balls!”

“Not really,  but rest assured bredren,  they won’t be around to terrorize peoples for quite a while.”

“Oho,  a trip to the hospital?”

“More likely an elongated stay in the hospital,  just to be correct.”

“Wow,  never thought you’d ever go out your way to do free hero work without brotherly pressure.”

“Scoff, I did not do free work! I was just pissed and they were the perfectly shaped and sized sandbags to blow off some steam. It’s just a mere coincidence that as the byproduct of my actions I stopped a crime and saved a girl.”

“Yea, of course…. Are you sure Raph is not rubbing off on you?” Leo asked teasingly.

Donnie was surprised how the two of them were chatting like business as usual. Like if the softshell wasn’t coated in blood, looking like he just came home from a killing spree.

He can't help but wonder, is this how serial killer’s families are? Your sibling comes home red as the inside of a watermelon,  perhaps carrying a cut of arm or something and the rest of the family just says hi and continues to eat dinner like nothing happened?

The thought is kinda freaky,  not gonna lie.

Although he doesn’t believe that anyone aside from his twin  in this family would act this nonchalant in the face of this revelation with the bloody implications. Raph surely wouldn’t approve…. Oh…. Right,  Raph….

“What happened after I….” The genius tailed off.

“After you threw the child neglect bomb at our family?”

“Mhm….”

“To say it with your words: They’ll live.”

The younger turtle gave a stink eye to his twin.

“Well,  if you really wanna know…” Sighted the slider.

Donnie nodded.

“ Well Raph is super on the warpath. I think he’s halfly angry at himself,  but if you’d approach him I think he's gonna vent his anger out on you if you two meet face to face. So if I was you I would avoid him for a while.”

“Noted.”

“Miguel is more on the upset and confused side. I think he regretted pouring gasoline into the flames of the argument. Besides, it's Mikester. You know he hates to be on bad terms with anyone. He’ll surely come around to fix things up between you two.”

The slider patted his twin’s shoulder comfortingly.

“About Dad…. You know him! Just like literally every occasion when things don't go his way,  he packs his things and goes on quote on quote ‘ think things through’ vacation.”

“Wait, he's already gone?!”

”Yepp,  I think this is his new record of running away from my problems and leaving my kids to deal with the fallout.I’m sure he’s relaxing in some spa in the hidden city and won’t come back for at least a month. And when he does eventually,  he’ll pretend that nothing happened. Some father figure,  huh?”

“Yea….” The softshell agreed,  now staring at his twin.

“What?” The slider tilted his head.

“ Nothing…”

“Oh yea?! That nothing is screaming from your face bro!”

“ _{What about you…. Aren’t you mad at me?}” Whispered the genius.

Leo’s smile faltered weavering in between keeping his mask on or being sad. (Or at least what looked sad.)

The slider pulled his twin back into a hug,  careless about the blood that would be smeared between them like jam between two slices of bread.

“I’m not,  I repeat NOT angry at you! There is no way I would ever get angry for that. Sure you said some stupid things. Sure you said some stuff I wanted to keep secret. But oh well,  sooner or later we had to confront our family's shortcomings. No secret remains hidden forever and that comes from me, the master of deception. So no, I'm not even upset.”

Donnie sniffed,  trying to keep tears down. He thinks he cried enough for an entire lifetime,  but he has a nagging feeling that in the future just even more of his tears will fall.

“ No secret remains hidden forever?” What a terrifying truth.

The softshell thinks as he melts into his twin’s touch and his eyes keep closing.

“Yep,  I have a serious case of Sleepytello here!” The older twin snickers.

“Am not eepy…” The purple brother grumbles.

“Oh yea,  and I have a pizza for a face! I know well how you’re after a melt down. You can fall asleep standing upright.” The blue brother said with rare softness in his voice.

Then Leo swung his sword creating a portal. He pushed his hands through it and rummaged. Donnie didn’t care enough at the moment to open his eyes to see what was going on. He heard running water sounds seep through the portal which was a little bit intriguing,  but still a head short to actually push the softshell fully awake.

Then some warm wet textile rubbed against his cheek.

“Wha…?!” He looked up to his twin.

“Chillax hermano! You can’t possibly go to bed looking like a true crime scene and I’m not letting your sleepyhead  take a shower to collapse. So,  I’m scrubbing you clean.”

Oh… The wet fabric was the twin’s black towel. The one they bought because both of them were big dum-dums with self worth issues (Wonder which negligent rat parent's fault is that?) and they tended to hide injuries from the rest of the fam to not seem incompetent. Its color was just the best to soak up blood and not leave any visible stain.

The warmth actually felt pretty good against his scales and the genius understands that his twin has a good point,  he just wishes it would be less embarrassing.

“And don’t you dare say that this is embarrassing! You scrubbed me with a sponge every day when I was stuck in the medbay and even once I was cleared, you tagged along with me in the shower to help me bathe. So if you dare to say anything I’m sending your favorite screwdriver to Taiwan.” The slider said just like if he was reading the purple turtle’s mind.

Donnie just nodded as a sign of understanding. And let his twin work.

The slider united the softshell’s mask and cleaned his face,  shoulder,  plastron and even battle shell.

The younger twin flinched upon sensing the touch on his fake shell,  but thankfully his twin got the message and didn’t remove it.

After a few minutes,  the blue brother finished and put the towel back through the portal.

“Ok,  and up we go!” Leo exclaimed as he picked up the half asleep genius, -who was too tired to protest- hopping to the furniture on one leg and put him down on top of the already made lab spare bed.

(When he made it was a mystery. Donnie probably dozed off. )

“Scoot over!” The slider demanded.

“ You…. ‘eeping ‘ere?” The genius mumbled,  but obliged nonetheless.

“Of course. It’s been a while since we had a lab-twin sleepover.” The older twin answered as he made himself comfortable,  tucking both of them in.

They took one of the positions they often did as tots. Facing into the opposite direction with their shells touching. It was a little uncomfortable with the battershell,  but the blue turtle seemed to get why his brother kept it on. Or at least that it served as a comfort item.

Surprisingly sleep came easy for the rezident insomniac and Leo was out like a log.

Donnie was comfortable too. Comfortable enough so he gets relaxed. His entire body is lax. Even the tentacles have retracted.

It’s weird. This is the second time they seem to calm down in the slider’s presence. Could there be a connection?

But even if there is one,  what could it be? Are they scared from the being that beat their leader?

No way,  the Krang is fearless,  besides he thinks he would feel- given that he’s attached to them- if the appendages were scared. Aaaaand it’s not like Leo beat and tortured their boss….

But he’s too tired to think right now. He might as well get a good night's rest. If this is going to go on…. Heaven knows he needs it!

Chapter Text

Mikey woke up with a bitter after taste in his mouth. None of the last twenty four hours sit right with him.

First the haunting memory of the mangled,  half dead Hypno and the never seen before cold anger on his purple brother’s face….

Then the argument where he should’ve known better than helping fan the flames. The revelations that the twins felt neglected….

 Were they actually neglected? Sure their dad had bad phases and mainly Raph took care of them. But whenever the little orange,  daddy’s little sunshine sneaked into the rat man’s room,  regardless of the depressive episode their father was going through,  he held his little treasure in his arms.

On the other hand,  the youngling can’t recall a single time he saw his dad hold any of the twins. Yelling at them,  sure,  he saw that a lot,  but never, - since he can remember - were they embraced like he was. So they probably weren't exaggerating when they said they were neglected.

And that made the little turtle unsettled. A part of him angry,  a part of him sad and a part of him disappointed. In himself? Or in his dad? He didn’t know….

But as if that wasn’t enough frustration in his tiny turtle body then get this! 

He was awoken barely at dawn to the sound of heart wrenching cries and sobs. He followed the sound,  only to find the twins in the lab, with Donnie crying into Leo’s shoulder.

It felt wrong to be there,  to eavesdrop,  but at the same time Dr.Feelings advice was overwritten by a pooling dread in his stomach. 

Their emotionally unavailable bad boy brother was crying his heart out and he couldn’t help but feel responsible. He was the “therapist” in the family,  the emotionally capable one. And yet he let things spiral out of control.

But truth be told and shame on him,  he was scared. His softshelled brother went from a person he know to a person he didn’t. And the hatred in his eyes during that argument caught him off guard. He didn’t know Donnie could look so vicious,  ruthless.

“ Miguel is more on the upset and confused side. [...] You know he hates to be on bad terms with anyone. He’ll surely come around to fix things up between you two.”

Leo’s voice rang from the lab. And sure it was true. Mikey hated to be on bad terms with literally anyone. It just never let him sleep at night.

He peeked inside the lab again only to see the slider grabbing a sword and secretly drawing a little circle behind his own back.

Then suddenly a blue portal opened beneath the box turtle’s feet and he unceremoniously fell through it landing in his hammock.

He stared as a piece of paper graciously glided out of the blue vortex and fell to his snout,  before the portal snapped shut.

“What the….?! I got kicked out in Leo style!” The youngling grumbled despite understanding what he did was wrong and he deserved to be portalled away.

The orange kid huffed a breath and sent the paper on his snout flying. It landed revealing that it was not blank.

“Did one of Dee’s blueprints fall through?”

Mikey picked up the paper immediately scratching his previous hypothesis as he clearly could see his blue big brother's fancy, but right now messily done handwriting. He probably made the note quickly.

“ Come to the lab at 10 pm,  you need to make things right!” The note said. 

Ok,  this was not Mikey’s first rodeo getting tangled up in the slider’s elaborate plans. He knew well that one mistepp could cause the entire house of cards to collapse. Sure the little one sometimes liked to be a little shit and deliberately blew up his older brother’s carefully crafted plans just to see him panickedly improvise. Usually he managed to minimize any damage the gremlin of a little brother did,  so it was all fun. (For Mikey.)

But with his genius brother’s feelings and their relationship on the line,  he wanted to play along with Leo’s plan as much as humanly… well turtlely possible. 

So he went back to sleep and then here he was,  falling back into his usual morning routine. Wake up at seven,  take a quick shower,  get dressed and head to the kitchen to make breakfast.

The little one walked through the hallway and entered his cooking heaven.

“What happened here!” The orange kid shouted as he took in the state of the kitchen.

Dirty dishes lay in the sink and on  the kitchen island,  spilled cooking oil dripped from the stove, flour and sugar spread across all the surfaces and a puddle of milk was accumulating on the ground.

“What the Fffffffffffflip?! Was there a tornado? Did an earthquake hit?”

Then his gaze shifted to the perfectly cleaned corner of the kitchen table. There were two plates sitting there each  with a pile of pancakes. 

One had whipped cream, drizzled in vanilla syrup and some cute strawberries at the side.

The other one had cinnamon flavored maple syrup,  fun colored sprinkles and orange accompanied it . Oh and a note. (Again with the notes!)

“ Hi  Miguel, sorry for the mess, but  I made pancakes! Hope you like them!”   Wrote the blue text with a smiley face and a sign from Neon Leon.

God,  he should ban Leo from the kitchen! It’s true that he was the best pancake maker, (Ok Mikey was better,  but the slider learned the way of pancake making first,  so his imperfect ones always stayed nostalgic and all together like a fond childhood memory,  so no one would argue about calling it the best.) but he also made such a mess every time he entered the kitchen… Honestly the little chef can’t even begin to figure out how his older brother manages to do it. It’s an art in itself to disorganize a place so fast.

He eats his own pancakes, mildly irritated by the mess he has to clean,  but the sweet breakfast quickly appeases the box turtle.

“Oh well it’s not like there wasn’t any occasion when I left a mess for Leo to clean up.” He thought to himself.

Truth to be told, it was a rare thing for the little one to make a mess during cooking at all,  but there were a few cases when his family decided at the last minute to hold a big dinner and he worked overnight to finish the dishes in time. 

Mikey wasn’t a night person so as soon as he finished the food he blacked out on the kitchen counter, careless how messy the room or he,  himself were. But he awoke tucked in his hammock,  completely clean from the flour that covered him when he fell asleep. And he walked into the kitchen to find it squeaky clean.

Turns out the local insomniac sometimes got into the mood of being “helpful” or bored enough to just clean the house at night.

Later this became a common phenomenon. Waking up to find rooms and places left absolutely dirty the night before clean by the morning. The only annoying thing was when the blue brother got caught up and began to reorganize. Just imagine waking up in the morning  opening the bathroom cabinet,  finding it as tidy as if it was an exhibition piece,  but not being able to find the toothpaste (or anything) because Leo reorganized everything. 

The orange kid got to work. He was cleaning the counter thinking about what kind of pancakes the slider cooked up for themselves.

Donnie definitely got plain ones with maple syrup and elderberry jam at the side,  so he can control how much “topping” he consumes with each bite.

Leo…. He was a total sugar junky. He literally was the guy who once couldn’t find any snacks during a movie night then sat down in front of the TV with a bag of plain white sugar and ate it with spoonfuls. So he usually goes an extra mile with sweet breakfast. If the box turtle had to choose,  he would say his blue brother probably smeared blueberry jam between each pancake,  drowned them in melted chocolate,  drizzled it with maple syrup, threw a bucket of sprinkles at it and topped the entire sugar monstrosity with whipped cream.

Just what the heck was wrong with the guy’s taste buds?!

Mikey finished with the cleaning and headed to the lab as he was supposed to,  according to the note. As he closed in he heard the blue turtle’s carefree yapping. He was talking about some Jupiter Jim film theory with great enthusiasm and detail.

It eased the pooling dread in the younglin’s stomach. Why did he even felt like that?! It was so stupid! Why did he feel like he was about to enter the lion’s den and not his beloved older brother’s lab?

He loved his genius brother,  he swears he does, but then why is he scared?! It never happened before…. But during that argument… Donnie just looked wrong and weird. He looked twisted,  a mere mirage of himself. And the anger that radiated from him was alien to the little turtle. 

Sure,  the softshell was always snarky and snappy,  so quick to bite but just as quick to regret it. Honestly the regret was immediately visible on his face whenever he felt like he crossed the line.

But not yesterday. Yesterday he just looked livid….. And Mikey couldn’t help but feel wary of the change he didn’t understand.

Still he wanted to fix this highly uncomfortable situation. His family therapist Dr persona was telling him that this might be PTSD. After all, that could cause loss of control over emotions. And it would make sense when he thinks about the frequent melt- and shutdowns. PTSD and autism surely didn’t mix well. 

Even more reasons to get back on good terms with his smart brother. He needs support. And the box turtle wants to be there for Donnie the way his big brother always was there for him. 

Mikey knocked on the open door frame and poked his head inside.

The way how alarmed the softshell looked was actively breaking the orange kid’s heart.

“Oh, morning Miguel,  did you like your breakfast?”  Leo asked,  clearly guiding the conversation,  so with no better plan the little turtle played along.

“Yea,  I was thinking, what's the occasion?”

“You know sometimes I gotta spoil my family.” The slider winked.

“ Aha,  and leave a crime scene in my kitchen?”

“Oh shoot, I was in a hurry so I forgot to clean! My bad! Imma gonna fix that up!” The blue brother jumped up from the bed he sat beside his twin, grabbed the food tray and began to rush out of the lab.

The orange kid wanted to note that he already cleaned the mess,  -especially since the slider left a note- but before he could, Leo appeared beside him through a blue portal.

Since his leg was busted the older always used the portals for his convenience. He either appeared from thin air or there was a thousand times when all the youngling seen is a disembodied hand rummaging through the kitchen cabinet for snacks.

The slider put his hand onto the orange kid’s shoulder and whispered:

“Don broke the hinge of his battleshell he’ll need a new one. Good luck! “

The box turtle stared for a hard second before he remembered,  there was a new mall near their home.

Mikey has been pestering his brothers to go for a while now,  after all there was a teddy bear making shop for Raph, a fancy boutique for Leo, an Art supply store for him and a mechanist shop that sold parts and tools,  perfect for Donnie.

They all could have the time of their lives. But sadly the invasion happened and the slider is in no shape to take a long shopping trip, the snapper was not in the mood (like ever),  the softshell closed himself into his lab and the box turtle didn’t want to go alone. (Sure he could ask April or the Caseys but they all had a lot on their plates,  he didn’t want to bother them.)

Anyways with the leader’s little prompt of “Don needs new hinges…” Mikey was picking up what he was putting down.

No better way to bond than a shopping trip. 

Leo stepped away from his little brother  and yelled before completely vanishing from sight:

“I’m leaving DonTron in your care!”

And with that he was gone,  leaving the two youngest in the room.

It was awkward to say the least. The genius was still in bed wrapped up like a burrito but wearing a hoodie for comfort,  staring at the little turtle.

The orange kid needed to do something.

“Sooooo,  I heard you need some parts for your battleshell….” Mikey tried to pomp a conversation.

“Indeed,  that is correct. My favorite battleshell is lacking a hinge now. But more importantly how did this information make it to you?” The softshell raised an eyebrow.

“Ummm…. Ermmmmm….” 

“ Nardo set you up to do this right?” The genius hit the nail right at the head.

How did he already mess this up?! He needs to be creative! Find a way! Find a way! 

Flip it,  he can’t lie!

“Yea…” The youngling  admitted it sheepishly.

“Of course! Sight! So,  where are we supposed to go?”

Donnie really didn’t want to go. Not like he wasn’t interested in the mall or rummaging through piles and piles of neatly organized mechanical parts - Sounds like heaven!- but with his uncontrollable Krang outbursts he was scared. Scared from hurting his little brother, - emotionally and physically- more than he already did. He’s not one to lie to himself (Oh you are dear!) and he can see the fear in his little brother's eyes. Fear from him. And he has all the rights to feel like that. The softshell was a monster. 

Yet,  still he just couldn’t stand the way his little brother’s fear of losing connection with him screamed louder than any fear from getting hurt.

Mikey wanted to make things right and so did Donnie. So might as well take the offered chance.

“For REAL?!” The box turtle exclaimed.

“For real, dear Angelo. Did I ever give you a  false statement?”

“No…. I’m just surprised that you know it’s Leo’s plan and still willingly come. Also it’s the new mall.”

“Well yea,  usually I am all about proving that dum dum that his schemes have no power over me,  but I guess just for today I let it slide considering your involvement and the pancakes perfectly tailored for my taste.”

Ok,  so basically the slider tamed his twin with pancakes and hit him with the killshot Puppy Dog-Baby Brother Eyes move. Mikey gotta put that down to note for later use. Not like the little one was to complain. He almost messed up the plan.

The purple turtle stood up,  grabbed his tech bo and phone then proceeded to walk out of the lab. Mikey followed close behind when his phone buzzed.

It was a text message fr Leo:

“ Good job buddy!”   With a thumbs up.

Oh wait,  did his slip up was also integrated into the blue mastermind’s perfect play?! And how the hell did he know that they were leaving? Was he watching them?! From where,  this is an empty hallway,  not even shadows to stick to.

With all love and affection, the slider was lowkey terrifying. Sometimes the box turtle wondered if his big brother’s mystic wasn’t portals but manipulating reality itself.

“You’re coming?” The genius yelled from the doorway.

“Yep,  just zooned out a bit!” The little one answered then quickly closed the distance between them.(Only figuratively for now.)

--------------------------------

They were in the mall for quite a while. They’ve been in a few stores. Mostly ones they visited out of necessity because, damn, they needed groceries.

Then they stopped by the dining area to load themselves with junk food. This little roundabout wasn’t planned,  but the softshell suddenly became irritated and insisted on getting food. Meat,  to be more specific. Then as soon as the older turtle swallowed the chicken nuggets whole,  he switched back being almost apathetic.

“The heck was with that?!”

Although Mikey would be lying if he said he never heard his dad’s chocolate bar commercial say: “ You are not yourself when you’re hungry!”

Guess that was true. Oh, if he could solve everything with a meal… He wouldn’t have a single problem in the world.

Now,  done with the must,  they moved onto the want to do things.

First the orange kid wanted to go to the boutique to get something for Leo as thanks. Besides it’s not like he and Donnie weren’t always up to a little closet refreshing.

The little turtle quickly found a unicorn themed blue t-shirt with the rainbow text saying: Anyone who says I’m delusional, can’t ride my unicorn! 

Perfect for a unicorn fanboy blue turtle.

Moving on,  the box turtle found himself some rad black cargo pants that would look so good with colorful spray paint splatters accumulating on top of it. He also found some fun colored thigh high socks with funky patterns and an orange jacket with a dino print hood that zipped all the way up.

The softshell on the other hand didn’t seem so enthusiastic about the activity. Usually he would be twice as lively in a store like this. He would touch every single fabric,  inspecting closely the quality and then,  spawning to the changing room with an army of clothes,  and it would be good if he ended up buying what, like two items.

Compared to that,  now he only had one single plain violet hoodie in his arms,  he didn’t even try it on. He just bought it.

This didn’t sit right with the little turtle.

They ventured into the Make a Teddy shop,  because the youngling felt it unfair to not bring his oldest brother something if he did for the second oldest.

So far not as much as a single sentence was spoken  between the two turtle teens.

Was it a bad call to come to the mall? Maybe the genius needed a little more time to cool off or to get his thoughts organized so they can make things right. Was Mikey too hasty? 

But just like how Donnie couldn’t stand slimy textures or beach balls the little turtle couldn’t stand being on bad terms with any family member. It drove him crazy.

So much so that he could not concentrate on designing a bear for his red brother. He ended up buying a pre-made one from fear of messing up a custom teddy. Not like Raph would complain if the plushie was ugly,  the snapper likes ugly ones too,  but Mikey’s artistic pride would not be able to handle it. 

They left the plushie store and the youngling started to lose hope. So far they went to so many places that could provide easy topics for conversations. Yet there was nothing….

Still, the little turtle had one last card up his sleeve. The Craft store. Sure,  there is the electronics shop that they’ll visit before leaving but Mikey would have little to none conversation starters there.

The Craft store on the other hand was a huge common ground for the two youngest. 

Like there was paint. Something both of them appreciated. For different reasons and of course different types of paint as the orange kid’s picks were acrylics for canvas or spray paint for graffiti while the genius usually went for metal paint for his inventions.

The purple turtle also could be occasionally caught purchasing design elements like little chains, decorative bolts and spiles originally meant for clothing.

So there are just a lot of topics to talk about in there for the two of them.

Mikey was about to enter the store, ready to finally have a conversation with his brother and make up when he heard:

“Umm… I think I'll sit this one out. But you go and knock yourself out Angelo!”

And with that the softshell had the audacity to sit down on a bench and mess with his phone.

The first time the older turtle spoke since they entered the mall and for what ? To tell the youngling off?! Because what else was the box turtle supposed to think?! 

This was just too much. The orange kid tried his damn best,  but nothing was working. And the dam just broke.

“Why?! Why won't you come with me?! Why do you have to be difficult?!” 

“Excuse you….”

“NO! No more excuses! I…I can’t do this anymore…!” The little turtle ran away, tears streaming from his face.

Mikey left his purple brother behind. He found himself a quiet corner in the mall. It was a lonely looking sofa, the first inhabitant  of a soon opening shop. It was currently closed, but the steel shutters weren’t all the way down. The little turtle had to crawl,  but that didn’t really bother him. He got inside the store which held several cardboard boxes as company for the lonely sofa. The lights weren’t on adding to the already gloomy atmosphere.

The orange kid sat on the sofa crying his eyes out. This wasn't it right! Nothing was right! Something was gravely wrong  about his purple brother. He couldn’t tell what,  but the whole thing felt like he hopped into a parallel reality where everything was just two inches to the left with the softshell.

His aura,  his posture,  his manner all felt wrong,  but not in a way you can name it. And that was infuriating.

First he thought it might be the trauma getting to the genius,  but the more he saw,  the more he wondered, could trauma change someone so much?!

Sure they all changed due to the invasion. But at the same time nothing changed at all.

Raph was the same old worrywart,  except that he was double as hovering. He also seemed to try and get a bit more self reliant, doing stuff on his own. He trained even more and got panic attacks every now and then,  but that was it. Same old Raphie just a bit more worried and traumatized.

Leo acted as usual. Bad puns and cheering the group. But on the other hand he developed a serious mod as well. He could go from comic relief to leader tone in a blink of an eye. It was a bit scary,  to be honest,  but understandable change.

Another thing with the slider was that his “mask” cracked more often than  usual, allowing a glimpse for the rest of them to get to know the real Leo. It was heartbreaking to know that they didn’t know anything about him. That all they knew was smoke and mirrors, a picture the blue turtle wanted them to see. 

This wasn’t a new problem,  apparently this was present since they were tots,  but shame on them that only almost losing their brother opened their eyes to see a fraction of the true Hamato Leonardo.

Mikey remembers clear as day when the slider woke up from the three day artificial coma Donnie kept him for his own sake.

The blue brother just woke up. He seemed rather panicked and shaken up. The orange kid never saw him look so lost and weak.

Still he held himself together. He was high on meds and still,  he held his composure by sheer willpower. Everything seemed almost normal  until he tried to make a joke. Everyone groaned in frustration,  Raph even pulled his face. Typical,  annoying ,  but right now strangely comforting prime Leo behavior.

“Ha, I bet you guys now wish, you would've left me in the Prison dimension!” The slider said with his shit eating grin stretched from ear to ear.

There was dead silence…

This dumbass is for real?! How can he joke about that?! Will he ever learn?! They almost lost him! And what, he acts like he just had a vacation?! Can’t he feel the injuries plaguing his body? Doesn’t he know his leg is probably never gonna heal?!

Raph was about to begin a speech,  a great scrolling when a wheezing sound caught their metaphorical ears. 

The slider sitting on the bed was gasping for air,  trying to choke down violent sobs that were wrecking his body. Tears were rolling down his face,  which he actively tried to hide with his bandaged hands.

“Leo…” Mikey began in a worried voice.

He never saw his brother cry like this. Broken, raw, unfiltered? Why did that last one come to mind? Did that mean that the blue brother was filtered previously?

“Out!” Leo gasped.

“ Look buddy….” The snapper began,  voice soft with worry.

“ O.U.T !” The slider yelled from the top of his lungs.

Both the youngest and the oldest stood there baffled. Basically turned to stone.

Leo was shaking violently burying his face into his palms,  sobbing like a little kid.

“You two leave!” Snapped Donnie’s voice at them.

“ Wha….?” The red turtle tried to question but alongside with the orange kid he found himself pushed out of the door by the softshell.

“I’ll explain later,  but right now this is for the best!” The genius supplied as he slammed the door shut.

Mikey and Raph stood there,  just outside the medbay listening as their all jokes and fun,  nonchalant brother came undone. Whaling,  sobbing, screaming his twin’s name till the duo outside felt like their ear bled.

After what felt like a heartbreaking eternity,the crying subsided and the quiet sobs faded into silence.

The purple turtle left the medbay letting the warm colored brothers to catch a glimpse of the slider peacefully reading a comic on the cot.

“Did ya sedate him again?”  The eldest asked quietly.

“Scoff,  why are you immediately assuming I drugged him?!”

The youngest- oldest duo gave a look to him.

“Yeeze,  I did not drug him ok?! Me and Nardo have been together for awhile now…. 16years4months3days20hoursand12minutes to be specific. Do you think I don’t know how to calm him down?! ”

“Ok let's suppose we belivin’ ya… Yer still owe us an explanation!”

“Yes,  yes,  what do you need to know?”

”Like what was that?! I never seen him like that? Is that because of the meds? What upsetted him? Why did he want us out? Why was it fine for you to stay?” Mikey gabled with the speed of light.

“Slow down Angelo! First, it was sort of a meltdown.”

“Wait he gets those?”

“ Everyone can get meltdowns, Raphaela. And for your question yes,  Leo gets those often…”

“Well we never saw him.”

“ That’s because he doesn’t want you to. Also that concludes Mikey’s question number four and five.”

“So,  he was having a meltdown and he didn't want us to see it,  that’s why we had to go?” Mikey summed up.

“Pretty much.”

“But why? And why was it fine for yer to stay?”

“Because he can’t have you see him drop the act.”

“Act?”

“ Yea,  you guys never noticed  his masking?”

“Masking?” The snapper and the box turtle asked in unisound.

“ Pizza Supreme is that the level of understanding you got?! Sight! Fine,  although it is against twin code to share secrets with the rest of the family,  I was not explicitly told that this is a secret so I shall spare Nardo from a very awkward conversation!”

Raph and Mikey shared an uncertain glance before turning back to the softshell.

“How to dumb this down for you? Ugh! Basically Leo is a lie.”

“Don’ ya mean a liar?

“ Nooooo. What I mean is the Leo you know is not actually Nardo.”

“WHAT?! Is it a shapeshifter? A clone?! Has someone impersonated our brother?!”  Mikey panicked.

“ Again,  noooooooo. It’s like… like… He’s Nardo,  but not THE Nardo…. Angelo you really should understand this!”

The orange kid did the “me?!” gesture,  looking around and pointing at himself.

“ You have two personas: Dr. Delicate touch and Dr. Feelings. They are still both you. Basically characters played by you. They are you,  but not the real you. Now masking is like that,  but for hiding things. Sides of yourself you don’t want people to see. And that’s Nardo. You know the Faceman but do not know the actual Leo.”

“Wait,  yer sayin that,  when Leo says ‘I’m the faceman!’ he steppin’ into a persona?”

“Dear-dear simpleminded Rapala…. He’s not stepping into anything,  he just stating the obvious. Answer me to this: When is Nardo not the faceman?”

“Never?” The youngling answered instead of the snapper,  looking confused.

“Exactly! Leon never stops being the faceman,  hence you never actually see the real Leo.”

The youngest- oldest duo looked as if they had just seen God.

It made sense now. The deflections,  lies and  charades the blue brother done on repeat. The way he was all jokes and bounced back like a rubber ball….The little one always felt like that mentality was too good to be true. Aaaaand it was. His older brother was hurting under the front he put up and they never even noticed?!

“Well,  then it’s time we end his  game!” Raph turned towards the medbay about to charge in.

“NO! For the love of anything and everything you hold sacred do not try to yank Nardo out of his persona!” The genius protested blocking the doorway in a cartoonish way.

“But yer said it’s hurtin’ Leo….”

“Indeed,  he’s hurting,  but what do you think will happen if you tried to rip off his carefully crafted mask?!  He almost passed out getting a panic attack just because his dum dum act was off. It would destroy him! And you know me,  I’m all about destroying Nardo,  so you can rest assured if I’m going through the trouble to save his ass then it has to be serious.”

“ First off all,  language! And second,  then what do you want us to do?” Chimed in the orange kid.

“Nothing. If I wanted you to do something I would’ve said so!”

“Why did you tell us then? It was a hush hush thing,  right? Even if you didn’t make a promise to not tell anyone.”

“It’s just…. AGH! The metaphorical cat was already peeking out of the bag. I wasn't prepared to give you a satisfactory made up explanation. That’s Nardos strong suit anyways. But I thought it would be unfair to keep this information to myself. You deserve to know what’s going on and this thing stayed in the dark for far too long. I don’t want you to do anything! Just know what’s going on. And I guess maybe I was slightly,  just a tiny bit,  moderately upset that you never seemed to figure it out….”

“Oh…”  Said the orange- red duo in unisound,  taken a little aback by the softshell’s bold honesty.

(Maybe he learned something from the countless Dr Feelings appointments or he was just tired. Probably the latter.)

“Oh,  indeed! Now I want you two to swear you don’t try to do anything in the matter,  that you will act like nothing changed! Raph swear it to your plushies and Mikey you to your art supplies!”

“Raph,  swears!”

“ Pinky promise Dee!”

“Sight,  I guess this will do!” The genius stepped aside letting the entrance to be used once more.

The oldest grabbed the door handle, but before turning it he stopped dead in his tracks and turned back toward Donnie.

“Are ya sure it’s alright to go inside? That meltdown seemed nasty. Shouldn’ we give Leo a bit more time to put himself back together?”

“Trust me that dum dum is a master of his craft.” The genius said as he pushed on the snappers hand so the door opened.

Inside the slider sat looking as if the previous screaming, sobbing fit didn’t even happen. It was trippy. Honestly if the blue brother’s mask wasn’t still slightly damp from the tears,  they would’ve thought they had some sort of collective hallucination.

So Leo didn’t change drastically either. They just saw him in a new  light. Well at least if we ignore the physical changes.

Mikey thinks he didn’t change a lot either. He’s feeling more useless than before tho.That’s mostly the fault of his hands.Thankfully, they did not suffer nerve damage but turns out unlocking his mystic was a bad bad idea.

As Draxy explained,  he made all the turtles in a way that they could have infinite room for growth. Their mystic power is unlimited.

But as it turned out he failed to foresee the consequences of endless mystic powers. Turns out eventually every physical material would cease to be able to contain such potent powers. Of course this includes living organisms. 

So,  basically as soon as the little turtle unlocked his mystic he over used it and that set him on a course of  indefinite doom.  His power is getting stronger and destroying him. 

Currently the old goat is working on a permanent  solution,  but no luck. So far the only way to keep Mikey from blowing up is periodically sucking his energy away. But that’s kinda counterproductive  for reasons he doesn’t really understand.

Now he’s not just useless,  but a burden as well… He hates this!

“Ok,  shut up brain! No more self- deprecation!” The youngling scolds himself mentally before circling back to his previous line of thoughts.

In conclusion,  none of them really changed. Well,  not in a way they would be un or barely recognisable. Sure,  Leo was like a different person, but that turns out wasn’t true. The slider was always like that. To be honest all of the changes they had were like that.

Emotions,  habits and fears held under lock and key rushed to the surface through the cracks. It was still them, just put into a new perspective.

Donnie wasn’t like that. No… He wasn’t feeling or looking like himself. Even if they would be  looking  through different lenses the change was too great.

In the orange kid's eyes his older brother looked all kinds of wrong. Like if he was turned inside out. Almost unrecognizable,  a phantom echo of something Mikey used to know. But now it was all unfamiliar mannerism and alien-like  movements.

It scared the box turtle to the core. The way Donnie looked at them when they were arguing…. Cold stare of a predator eyeing the wounded prey.  And the way he pointed the guns at them , cruel, ruthless, something primal craving for violence. At that moment he wasn’t sure if the softshell would keep his “fingers” off the trigger.( Donnie doesn’t really need to pull any trigger,  he can fire with a mental command,  but this is just a metamorph.) 

To think about it, that was really the scary part. Not knowing his brother.

The softshell was always peculiar,  but they know all of his tell tale signs. 

They knew that when he was anxious he needed to fidget, if he couldn’t get one he would scratch his arms raw. (No wonder Leo is stuffing his pouch with a variety of fidget toys.)They know when he didn’t want to be touched just by looking at how stiff his body was. And Mikey knows how he likes his food. How with most of the foods nothing is supposed to touch and each ingredient needs to be separated. Or that all sauce is on the side so the genius can exactly control how much he gets onto each bite.

And right now,  the unfamiliarity was the thing that kept the little one’s heart beating in his chest. He’s not scared of his brother,  not in a million years,  he’s scared to not know him.

 And he needs this to stop. This was an endless spiral. He’s scared from not knowing his brother so he won’t talk to him and since he won’t talk to him he doesn’t get to refamiliarize,  then he stays being scared,  and boom the circle starts over again.

If he wants to break the cycle,  he needs to face this fear.

Suddenly a metallic creaking noise echoed through the near empty room. The little turtle turned his head towards the noise.

The metal shutters were lifted by his purple brother’s figure, the light shining from behind him, engulfing the older face in black shadows,  making him unreadable.

The way the softshell carried himself forward silently, inching closer to Mikey, felt as if the little turtle was the protagonist of a horror movie,  cornered by the apex predator.

The genius gingerly sat down beside the orange kid and by that time doomsday alarms were blaring in the younglin’s head. His instincts were telling him that this is not his brother,  that he’s in danger and he needs to RUN!

But the box turtle knew better. He won’t ruin their relationship further over silly instincts,  even if they most of the time are eerily accurate,  like when they told him he can bring Leo back or how Draxum has good in him.

So Mikey stayed very still suppressing shudders,  because it was stupid to act as if the Krang just sat next to him. It was Donnie for crying out loud!

“Am sorry!” Muttered the softshell.

The little turtle looked surprised at his brother before asking:

“For what?”

“ That’s…that’s the thing. I don’t know! Look, I am not good at feelings, but I can see somehow I upsetted you. So…. I’m sorry!”

The genius’ hands were scratching the furniture beneath the two of them,  his gaze was fixated on the ground and his entire body shook.

He looked…. nervous and….scared. Exactly the way Mikey was.

Suddenly the orange kid saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The two of them were similar. Neither of them understands the other and both of them are getting scared of that.

But the genius didn’t back off from trying to fix things between them. He wanted to make things right with the little one. And right now, the box turtle feels like he can reach the softshell with his words,  he can connect once again.

“ I’m going to be brutally honest,  like,  Dr. Delicate Touch honest…..Maybe just a bit less rude.”

Donnie nodded,  signing he understood and was prepared to hear the heartfelt truth.

“ I’m upset because today you did nothing else but try to push me away. You were here physically but mentally who knows where you’re wandering. I want to fix things with you! I feel terrible for how I acted during that argument. You were hurt,  you’ve been hurting and when you finally let us know your feelings we disregarded it…”

“That’s not tru-”

“ Let me finish it! I’m not blaming myself,  we were all angry and you did pull a jerk move,  but at the same time I feel like we could've been a bit more understanding. I could’ve been more understanding. I was upset to hear what you said about dad. I didn’t want to believe it. It’s just so different from the way I see him,  it feels unreal to imagine your point of view. I didn’t want to listen. But now I do. Because you start to look really weird and I hate to feel like you’re a stranger!”

The silence was deafening. Awkward and suffocating. Donnie seemed to be stuck trying to process the information. His gaze looked distant,  million miles ahead and his body was stiff as if he was cornered. He probably was.

But Mikey knew he wanted this to be over. To be back on good terms.

“I…I want this to be fixed too….but I don’t know how…” Donnie whispered, grasping his hands painfully.

“Then can I ask a question?”

The purple turtle nodded weakly.

“What happened during the Hypno fight? Why did you do that? What was going on inside of your head? I promise I won’t judge. But I want the truth! I want to help and I feel like everything went wrong during that fight….” The little turtle spoke in a soft voice trying to convey a sense of security and trust,  the fact that indeed he wasn't judged.

“Sight! I don’t… I don’t know what to tell you! I wasn’t thinking straight during and after that fight. It was almost like having tunnel vision. All I could think of - And if you dare to tell this to Nardo I’ll use your most expensive brushes to do varnish on my machines! You know you can’t get that out of your brushes!- was that Hypno hurt Leo. It wasn’t logical… I admit. But I guess the feeling of standing on the ground helplessly watching Nardo go during the invasion and being finally able to fight back in that Hypno fight, just overlapped. I guess I just vented something…..my anger?  frustration? self hatred? on the guy. And it was dumb! It accomplished nothing,  because those damned chewing gums still out there getting off so much easier than they were supposed to! And I know it… I knew that beating Hypno won’t make me feel better but ... .I did it anyway. And surprise surprise! I indeed didn’t feel better. I still…..don’t feel better.”

The older’s confession hung heavy in the air. It felt like a crushing weight put upon the little turtle’s shoulder.

But after a long time this was the first case when Mikey felt connected to the genius.

The rage against the Krang…. It makes the orange kid remember the invasion.

They were all in the Turtle Tank,  on their way to rescue Raph. 

While Donnie drove and Leo anxiously sat in the “Leader’s chair”,  the little turtle hung back with the future boy.

He was curious about what happened with them in that timeline.

At first Junior was reluctant to say anything, but the puppy eyes of the younger version of his Master quickly got to him and he talked,  accidentally letting slip the whole “You’re the greatest mystic warrior the world has ever seen!” deal.

Now intrigued,  Mikey nade the grave mistake of asking how he unblocked his power in the future. The answer was horrifying.

According to Junior,  which is also according to Master Leonardo -since Casey was too young to remember.- It happened when the Krang found their HQ and they had to evacuate. Raph had to overuse his ninpo till the point he actually turned his own body into energy. He died and the reinforcements of the Krang came too soon. The sacrifice of the Red Giant of the Resistance almost was in vain.

That’s when future Mikey’s anger reached a boiling point and his body began to glow in brilliant golden light. He levitated up to the sky, eyes throwing sparks and with a single hand gesture the entire battlefield went up in golden flames. Flames that did not hurt their allies but all the Krang was turned to dust in an instant. 

And if Master Leonardo’s words are anything to go by,  Krang ashes have fallen from the skies relentlessly for two weeks straight like some sickening snow after the incident.

The little turtle was horrified from his future self’s massacre. The orange kid could not imagine himself taking lives even if he was super angry. Commiting genocide,  not even giving the chance of survival,  escape or fight wouldn’t make him just as bad as the Krang was? He couldn’t help but feel disgusted by the  idea. He didn't judge future him,  but he thought “Current me could never do that!”

But then,  when Leo’s comm crackled out of life, when he thought he had lost a brother,  he felt as power surges through his body. Scorching flames that would burn the Krang into dust if there was any that remained (He didn’t know about Sister Krang). But that was not the objective. No, the reason for this power was not to destroy,  not with the Krang gone. No,  he’ll use every drop of that to bring Leo back.

And when he finally held the limp body of his older brother in the med bay, looking like a patchwork,  hooked to machines to stay alive,  he felt like he could commit genocide against the damned aliens.

In the end of the day,  it’s uncanny how similar they are actually to their future selves. How Mikey had the power to murder in him all along and how his powers seemed to unlock only if he lost or thought he lost a brother.

Point is he could understand the genius.Although it seemed like the softshell’s protectiveness towards his twin was borderline obsession.

But it was definitely Donnie.

Looks like he was not the exception after all. Neither of them turned into someone else. It was just his purple brother  in a different light, a black light. Whatever is the meaning of that….

Chapter Text

The little turtle and his youngest older brother sat in the dimly lit empty shop. He wanted to comfort his brother. He seemed really stressed after that confession.

“Hey… can we hug it out?” Mikey asked because he was running short of psychological lectures about how to deal with trauma regarding an almost the end of the world scenario.

The softshell seemed hesitant. Not like he was usually hasty to jump at the offer,  except if he was in that rare vulnerable mindset and your name was Leo. -The box turtle was a tad jealous of the twins’ closeness.-

Then he eventually seemed to give himself up to his not so bad fate and accept a hug.

The orange kid wrapped his hands around the genius which earned a filch from the latter. The box turtle just brushed it off blaming sensory issues.

-----------------------------------

Donnie enjoyed the warmth which radiated from his little brother. So much in fact  that guilt swelled up in his guts. 

He didn’t deserve this. All the love and understanding his orange- blue brothers provided him… It was surreal to be loved even though he was a vial beast. 

Of course this all will only last till he can keep his Krangyness under covers. Once the truth is out he’ll be exiled,  banished,  chased away or hated even in the best case scenario.

He wasn’t supposed to be here. The feeling of estrangement washed through him like a tidal wave. The feeling grew and the tentacles beneath his battle shell became antsy. He let go of the bundle of sunshine held in his arms before he could harm him. Protect him~ The voice rang and the genius almost voiced a loud “Duh.”

“Are we cool now?”

“The coolest Angelo!”

A huge grin creeped to the box turtle’s face. And oh god it was bright as the sun, the unparalleled joy of a child. Shell,  it was precious. A reason for the softshell to wake up to this disgraced reality and pretend for another day that he was still him. That he was the brother who deserved that smile.

“Then let’s go to the art and craft store! This time together!” 

The little turtle bolted out of the empty shop and headed straight for the art store, the softshell hot on his tail.

Truth to be told he was a bit worried. After staying in the lair for so long and deliberately avoiding crowds when he happened to go out,  the mall was a sensory hell. The noise,  the smell, all the flashes and blinding colors…. His already filled to the brim (Thanks to the technodrone’s database.) brain just couldn’t handle it.

And sure,  he felt a bit better after he chilled in the dark for a while,  but still,  going back to the busy section of the mall was a terrifying idea.

The genius took a deep breath and dived into the sea of peoples after his little brother.

He immediately was surprised. Was it a pleasant surprise? He couldn’t tell,  but certainly it was a big one.

As he stepped into the crowd everything around him got duller. All the information that got him overstimulated minutes ago now felt too little to even register.

He knew this. The feeling of emptiness, the loud voice of his brain pest screaming Need!~, the way he felt his brain crawling with thousands of ants, an itch he couldn’t scratch.

These were all tell tale signs of the episodes where all the sensory the world could provide him would prove undersized. Side effect of the Techno Drone or being Krang he supposes.

“Shit, why now?!” He cursed internally. He was not in his lab. He did not have that overloading noise, information and epileptic light show he needed to short circuit his brain. And without that he will be stuck in this limbo of constant need.

And on top of that he had his little brother who he had to shelter from the ugly truth. 

Shell,  how does Leo do this all the time? How is he capable of keeping up the act even when he’s under pressure, in distress or  pain?

“Here we are!” Mikey exclaimed excitedly as he dragged the older turtle into the shop by the hand.

Once they got inside the orange kid quickly got distracted by some new metallic acrylic paint and Donnie slipped away to dazedly wander the store.

The voice in his head grew unbearably loud screaming a new demand. Seek!~ Seek!~ Seek!~ Seek!~Seek!~

What was he supposed to seek?! What did that damned remnant of an alien ship possibly want him to find?!

He aimlessly searched, feeling half out of his own body,  like if his soul was echoing after his flesh. The world warped into a colorless fever dream,  twisting and turning beyond recognition.

The softshell’s eyes caught a glimpse of a view yet to be distorted. A shelf of books dedicated to  art and crafts.  

With a shaky hand he grabbed one and opened it. He didn’t know what drove him but he was surely obsessed at the moment.

He began to read the book,  which was about stained glass art. Not something he usually would be interested in,  but he didn’t mind that at the moment. It was medium thick - 120 pages to be specific- paperback. 

The genius turned a page,  then another and another one with speed that threatened the pages to catch on fire. It would be impossible to turn them with such a speed let alone read anything and yet the purple turtle found himself sucking up the information like a sponge.

As he clapped the book shut he realized that the voice that kept annoying him had shut up.

Did that mean it searched for the book? This specific book? About glass?!

 Yea, he doubts it…. That’s when the realization hits him like lightning. 

The annoying voice is partially the remnant of the TD,  if his hypothesis is right it’s a mixture of that and his own subconscious….But let’s concentrate on the alien part for now.

So,  the Techno Drone had a huge database. Literally every information what certain planets had to offer. It wouldn’t be a surprise if the ship was programmed to constantly seek these informations.

Honestly he should’ve been aware of this from the beginning. When he merged with the TD he felt them connecting. The alien ship did not feel menacing, it had no intention to do harm or control the planet. Donnie barely felt any emotion radiating from it. But there was one,  one that was strong like a tidal wave. Curiosity. 

He and the TD bonded over their hunger for knowledge. That’s why he was let in. The Techno Drone wanted to know him better, it wanted him to stay,  it wanted to become one.

And if the softshell didn’t have brothers,  a home and the skin crawling sensory hell that kept him on guard he would’ve accepted the offer. At that moment he wanted to accept the offer. Be understood,  embraced and become part of something grand. He wanted to unravel the mysteries of the universe.

It makes his stomach drop as he thinks back…. He almost willingly gave himself up and became one with the ship.

Welp,  a fat lot of good refusing the offer did for him. He ended up being a Krang either way. A monster….

Sometimes he wonders if he could’ve done something different to change the results. Or was he destined to fall from grace like this from the moment he hatched. 

It is unlike him to think like that. But at this point he himself is unlike him. So tell him, what’s being like himself is even supposed to mean, beyond the line he was forced to cross?

He placed the book back on the shelf. His eyes lingered on the collection of paper backs and he distantly wondered how long will it take for him to devour all the information that exists on this planet with the previous speed? How long would it take for him to get  leathally under-stimulated by his world and have to leave?! Donnie didn’t like changes. Well,  unplanned ones. And he would straight up hate to leave everything behind.So even just the concept felt like a nail driven through his brain.

“Have you found what you were looking for?”  Mikey spoke from behind the softshell’s back, childishly hugging a bunch of art supplies to his chest.

Shell,  right he was supposed to find something! Umm…. Oh,  there are purple metal paints. That should come handy even though he already has like ten buckets at home. But, oh well he can find room for a few more. Besides, who knows when he suddenly needs to paint a fleet of Turtle Tank sized inventions?

The genius quickly grabbed two bucket of pain and said:

“Yea, yea. I was just picking up these paints. Yea,  that’s what I was doing!” 

(Aaaaand that was three “yea”. Amazing performance Donnie! Lying is not his strong suit.)

The box turtle stared right into the soul of the older, dead serious. Then after a painstakingly long minute, he smiled and said:

“That’s great! Now we can check your Electronic or whatchacallit store! Then we go home and I cook the best meal for the best brothers in the world!” The little turtle beamed,  ever so hyper.

The duo paid for their goods and then they headed to the Electronics shop. 

Upon entering the smell of electricity and motor oil immediately washed over the softshell. (Was he always able to smell electricity? Devil knows, because Donnie definitely doesn’t remember.) It was a good scent and it felt almost like home. And honestly? The softshell was so familiar with the layout of a store he had never even been before, like if he lived there. Just what the hell was that about?! Did he now have a built-in navigation or tracker so he can find stuff he wants? God,  if that's the case the Krang is built weird. Not like that was anything new….

The purple turtle passed the cabel’s aisle and took a 90°turn to the left, only to find his desired item- the hinges- in a wide variety on his right side.

The genius quickly found the desired item and as luck would have it he managed to grab the very last piece…. Ooooor more likely he grabbed the hand that reached for the hinge the turtle needed.

It was a human hand, thin and feminine with long iridescent purple nails. The human’s skin was soft and flawless in a way Donnie knew his twin would kill to get his hands on the person’s skincare routine.

Honestly this started to look like one of those cheesy spanish soap operas Splinter and Leo watches. (The only one thing they ever did together and even that wasn’t their dad’s but the slider’s effort to spend some bonding time .)

Then quite contrary to the graceful and lovely hands, the person rudely yanked the hinge out of the softshell’s paw.

“What gives?!” The purple turtle hissed, finally looking up to the hand’s owner.

Pizza Supreme help him! Right before him stood a teen girl, eyes piercing cold and shifty like a fox,  her hair cotton candy purple and she dressed head to toe in the genius’ favorite color.  And the cherry on top,  a purple satin jacket with a dragon embroidered on the back. It was her. The leader of the purple dragons, Kendra in the flesh.

“Othello Von Ryan, what a nice surprise! I thought you and your kind finally dropped off the face of earth. What a disappointment.” She said wickedly snickering to herself.

“Kendra…..” Donnie growled.

“That’s my name,  don’t wear it out!”

The genius never got along with this girl. Even on a normal day he could drown her in a spoon of water, let alone now that he was a ticking time bomb of rage.

If he almost killed Hypno he can’t imagine how far he would go if he got his hands on Kendra,  the girl that deceived, used and betrayed him. The girl he wished wasn’t as much a heartless bitch as she was.

He needs to stay focused! He can’t kill Kendra,  despite he would be doing a favor for the world. He just can’t become a murderer. Especially when his little brother is around. Mikey saw his fair share of shit that he was never meant to see and if the softshell can help it he won’t ever let his tiny sunshine of a brother see stuff like that again.

So with iron will he tried to keep his cool and sanity while talking to the girl.

“I know you won’t be paying for that! Put that hinge down!”

“Oh,  what makes you so certain I'm not just a regular customer here,  intending to purchase my items?”

“You never in your sorry ass spoiled brat life paid for anything. Why would you when you can just steal it, am I right?”

“Othello, Othello,  you have such a sharp tongue,  but you’ll regret even opening your mouth once you see our new creation!” 

With that the girl turned on her heel, parkoured through the shop and rushed out with the hinge.

“Thief, stop her!” The cashier yelled as he failed to chase after the teen.

The purple turtle chases after Kendra with only a few seconds of delay. He almost bumps into his orange brother as the  little one comes to check out the commotion,  but thankfully they are ninjas and Mikey dodges the genius in time. Then he turns on his heel too and runs after his brother.

“What’s going on Dee?” The orange kid asks between two ragged breaths as they exit the building.

“Kendra…. “ Is all the genius can hiss out through his clenched teeths.

Ohhhhh… That doesn’t sound good if you ask Mikey. Donnie nearly murdered Hypno and the guy didn’t even have any personal beef with the softshell. 

But it didn’t seem to matter what the little one was thinking as he wouldn’t be able to voice his concerns given that he was quickly falling behind. Which is strange,  because the only one who stood a chance against the box turtle in speed was Leo. 

Meh,  maybe it was the power of pure rage….

They’ve been playing cops and robbers for a while chasing the girl across two blocks.

How the fuck this human was doing that?! Even with the head start,  she kept her distance and she had one hell of a stamina. She definitely could compete in endurance with April or Junior, both who grew up trying to match to superhuman mutant ability levels. Not exactly how you would imagine the leader of a “nerd” club.

Kendra took a sharp turn into the alley and Mikey immediately giggled.

“She got herself into a pinch! That’s a dead end!” The little turtle cheered happily to finally end this chase. 

The brothers also turned the corner and here she was,  back against the wall trapped like a rat in the maze.Or so they thought….

“Oh nice of you to join us Othello Von Ryan and…. umm… the extra weight…”

“Hey!” The orange kid yelled offended.

“Us?” The genius asked.

Immediately behind of them the teen girl’s henchmen Jeremy and Jason emerged from the shadows. 

“Great,  more annoying bugs….” The purple turtle taught to himself.

“Oh,  wow,  how terrifying,  now we are surrounded with pathetically weak humans. I’m so scared! Is that what you want to hear Kendra?” The softshell asked, venom dripping through his voice.

And it wasn't intimidating the girl, unlike Mikey who knew his brother’s current mental state and the absolute beat down he gave to Hypno,  he would shit his pants if he had to fight for real with Donnie.

“Oh,  come on! The more the merrier isn’t it?”

“ Look,  I don’t care about your little games Kendra! I’m in a very bad mood lately. So if you and your dogs want to leave with all your limbs attached you give me that hinge!” The purple turtle was trembling from the effort of holding himself back. 

Mikey hooked his arm through the softshell’s,  trying to be… Comforting? An anchor to stop his brother from lashing out? Something…. Anything that could possibly diffuse the situation.

He wishes Leo was around. He would know how to handle the situation. The little one on the other hand could do nothing but be a useless spectator,  very afraid of the outcome of this encounter.

The older turtle patted his head as gently as he could,  but even though his touch remained light,  it practically beamed stifled aggression. He untangled his hooked arm and stepped forward.

“Aww,  too bad you don’t care about my game because you’ll be playing either way…”

“Make me bitch!” Donnie quickly uncapped that swear jar that he usually only kept close around Mikey and Raph anyways,  so it wasn’t strange that he swore, the strange thing was that he swore in front of his little brother.

“I was planning to!” The girl rethorted. (Also, she answered to being called a bitch,  so it must be true.)

Suddenly the noise of rotors hit the turtle’s nonexistent ears. And then from the skies it descends a machine. A robot to be specific,  painted all vivid purple, looking much like Shelldon but with a longer snout, clawed limbs, a long tail and horns. Ironically it’s a dragon.

“Meet Drake!” Kendra introduces.

And the softshell’s blood is boiling. That’s Shelldon’s design. Sure it has been tweaked to match the aesthetic of the Purple Dragons,  but the genius would recognise his child’s design from anywhere.

Fucking Kendra,  she must’ve taken a scan of his creation when Shelldon ran away to be a race drone.

And what is that material,  all those ridiculously advanced looking built-ins? There is no way the tech club was able to put their hands on this kind of material. Heck,  he can’t put his hand onto it. It’s a metal he didn’t even recognise. Or does he?

“ Haha! Cat got your tongue or is it a turtle thing to be slow?”

The purple turtle is silent,  but his head is filled with static and screams. He… he recognises the material after all. It’s repainted but the blinking eye like red lights are piercing through him like lasers. The thing practically screams his name calling for him.

 It’s from the Techno Drone….

Donnie panics and quickly pushes Mikey back to increase the distance between the little one and the horrid mechanical abomination. 

“ That’s my fucking design you stealing whore!  And  have you lost YOUR MIND?! Those materials shouldn't be in your possession!” He yells at the human girl.

“ There you are! Do you finally recognise this fine piece of material? Some stupid government agents tried to take it but it would’ve been a shame to let it rot,  confided in a storage so we indefinitely borrowed it.”

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S THAT CAPABLE OF!”

“But I do…. Or at least I have an idea based upon the horror on your face. You should see yourself,  it’s hilarious!”

The older turtle spares a glance behind to see his little brother slowly backing away,  eyes filled with terror,  probably not completely aware of this action of his.

 The orange kid must’ve realized that Kendra built her dragon from Krang tech. And that’s not something two barely healed turtles with possible trauma can easily take on. 

They needed out. Especially Mikey. Donnie wanted his little brother to be far far from here,  because the voice in his head screaming ~FOUND!~ ~ JOIN!~ was too loud for him to form a single rational thought and the aspect of losing himself to it with the little turtle ending up in the crossfire horrified him. He either needed that dragon to be his or to be destroyed! But neither of the actions sounded very Mikey friendly as the softshell can see himself spilling guts to the floor  no matter which option he opts for.

In conclusion he rather needs to grab his little brother and tactically retreat. He needs an opening for that tho. Therefore he needs to distract the human.

“Hah,  you are petty. All this for a hinge? Next time bring out the entire US army because of a sandwich.” The genius mocked.

“This scrap?” Kendra held the metal piece high. “ I don’t need it! It served its purpose luring you here!” She said, as she threw the hinge,  which bounced once on the concrete before landing right before Donnie’s feet.

And god damn it, it was a trap! How could he be so stupid?! He was supposed to be a genius and yet he had fallen for the oldest trick in the book.

But that’s where the human girl’s luck ends today! She might have lured him here successfully,  but he’ll make the girl regret it.

“Oh and what do I owe the honor- he said sarcastically- of you going out of your way to ‘summon’ me?!” 

“Oh nothing much I just need to ask you something….”

“Tough luck,  because I have nothing but a generous amount of curse words to say to you!”

“Maybe you need a little encouragement….” Kendra spoke and gestured with his head behind the purple turtle.

At that exact moment Donnie heard his little brother gasp,  then yelp in panic. 

He turned around,  only to see Jeremy holding his little brother captive pushing a blade against the box turtle's throat.

It wasn’t just any rusty kitchen knife either,  it was a fine blade attached to a mechanical gauntlet made out of Techno Drone material.

The softshell’s blood stopped coursing in his veins, frozen stiff in his body. The gauntlet was calling him too and he knew what it was capable to do. Sharp enough to cut through metal with a flick of a wrist or a tentacle for that matter. Jeremy’s hand just needs to shake a little and his little brother's head will roll on the ground. It was frightening to stand and see the Krang themselves emerging from the shadows,  even if it wasn’t actually them. It was just a stupid tech club! But no matter how many times Donnie told that to himself he couldn’t believe it. The stifling presence was the Krang's, it was the Shredder’s. Yes,  this was just like the Shredder. Fancy armor, so strong it is worth your soul.

He was scared,  he was angry. A cornered animal,  ready to go down,  but not without dragging these fuckers to hell. 

The genius charged at Kendra. No plan in mind,  just violence that overtook his entity. 

It’s not like he had a lot of chances of winning with the old- fashioned ridiculously futuristic high tech way as he didn’t really bring his stuff. He had the spider shell on, but the few extra arms were no advantage in this situation and his bo staff’s battery was long dead as he didn’t intend on leaving the lair this morning.

Then there was his ninpo. It would be a good idea but the pest in his mind was getting more and more in control of his body. That made it impossible to use his mystic. Whenever the remnant of the TD was just partially in control he disconnected from all his supernatural abilities. It probably has something to do with how their soul is connected to their ancestors’ power and no matter if the “autopilot” takes over his body,  it still can’t access their family’s ninpo as it's not a Hamato.

So here he is,  basically with a metal rod with no other function but to be a walking staff,  perhaps he could use it to bonk Kendra in the head in old lady-style at best.

As he was about to strike the girl,  the dragon robot twisted its body around the turtle completely tying him up. The bo stopped inches from the human’s head. How infuriating!

Donnie tried to break out from the hold of the machine. But he failed,  his own turtle strength couldn’t get him out. ~ You have the strength of a Krang too.~ There is no way he will use the tentacles,  not in front of Mikey! Not in front of himself…. He… He wouldn’t be able to look in the mirror. Not like he was able…

“Now,  stop your futile resistance! If you just tell me what I want to hear, I might let you two go with your limbs and heads still attached.” The girl spoke on a cruel voice.

Donnie couldn’t do much. He wasn’t concerned about his own safety- Honestly Kendra would be doing the right thing,  the thing he had no guts to do,  and ridding the world from the abomination he had become.- but Mikey… His sweet sweet little brother deserved none of that. So it matters not what he have to do, if he have to swallow and choke on his own pride,  he will get his brother  out of here.

“What do you want to know?” The softshell hissed.

“ Wise choice!” Kendra mocked then continued.” Alongside this amazing tech I found something else in that truck. You and your brothers fought with those pink monsters,  I’m sure you’ll recognise what I’ll show you. And then I want you to tell me: What is it and how can I use it?”

Simple task. Now being mainly Krang he magically knew all little doohickey that the alien race ever invented. The question is, how dangerous is the item Kendra wants to use?

The human girl dug into her pocket and pulled out a little vial filled with some blue liquid.

Donnie’s blood ran cold. The vague moonlight  shines through  the vial and casted a blue light at the softshell’s snout.

~It burns!~ ~It hurts!~~ Hurts!~ ~HURTS!~ ~STOP IT!~   The parasite in his mind cried in pain and truth to be told the genius felt it too. He felt his face melt,  the scorching heat of fire, acid eating his flesh away. 

A part of him,  the rational part could tell that all that was just his mind playing tricks on him. He wasn’t actually hurt. The light shining through the vial couldn’t possibly hurt him and yet,  the fear held him in a chokehold. 

It was Herbicide. The very same one April threw at the krang bitch.

He needed to get away from that thing ASAP,  but the panicking parasite in his head,  the screaming calling of the Krang techs and the situation he was in didn’t leave him much room to think.

He tried to take a deep breath and calm himself,  he just needed to ignore three screaming voices in his head,  no biggie.

“So?” The teen girl asked impatiently.

For now it would be his best interest to tell the girl what she wants to know. It’s not like she can use Herbicide to do much evil. Unless she figures out he’s Krang and then he’s toast.

“It’s Herbicide. And before you interrupt me,  it’s not plain old herbicide. It’s a crazy one that managed to hurt the Krang. But that’s it. The substance is harmless for everything else. It’s not a super weapon or fuel, nothing that you could have a use of. Unless you expect a second invasion.” Donnie spat at her.

“ How nice of you to finally open up to me. Too bad I don’t believe a word you say. -Drake!-”  The girl ordered the dragon which squeezed the turtle even harder.

“Th- that sounds like a problem! If you don’t take my word for it,  then there is no way to prove a single thing.” 

“Oh but there is Othello.” 

“ Like?”

“How about I pour it onto you? If it’s so harmless as you claim then you have nothing to be afraid of. But if it’s capable of hurting you,  I’m sure I can find a use for it.” Kendra said in a sadistic tone then began to unscrew the cap of the vial. 

Pizza Supreme,  the softshell got himself into a real pinch here. It’s not enough that one of his limbs probably going to get melted from that liquid,  but right in front of Mikey. 

The genius sure the human girl won’t think much of it and will just assume he lied and the vial actually contains something highly acidic. But his little brother knows that April and even their dad got some Herbicide onto themselves and it had literally no effect on them. If it has an effect on Donnie,  the orange kid immediately will figure out that he’s Krang and then even if he survives being melted, he can never return home. And not to be dramatic,  but that kinda kills the whole reason to survive.

He needs a way out! He can’t let it end like this!

But the noise in his brain and  the fear that coursing through his veins are unbearable.

~Join!~ ~ Seve~ ~Master~ ~Master~ ~Master~ ~MASTER!~ ~Us~ ~Belong~ ~Join!~ ~Serve~ ~WANT~ ~Join!~ ~ Need~ ~SERVE~ ~ MASTER!~

The Krang tech chants straight into his mind. And he can’t take it. Not a minute longer.

Then his own brain pest speaks:

~ System Overtake~ ~ Autopilot ON~ ~ Objective Secured~ ~Initiating Countermeasure Protocol!~

The turtle was immediately yanked out of control of his own body and pushed into the back seat,  unable to do much, but to be a spectator.

A gust of wind,  an energy wave washed through the entire alley,  so strong it almost sent the humans flying.

“What….?!” Kendra wanted to ask, but before she could finish her sentence, it was interrupted by a curdling scream.

The human girl looked at the direction of the noise and she was left breathless from horror.

Jeremy was on the ground with his own blade-gauntlet pressed tight against his throat, actually breaking the skin and bleeding. Jason hooked his arms around his pal’s and tried to keep the tech from cutting the other club member's head clean off. 

At the side stood a fazed orange turtle, swaying left and right like if he just got hit by a car or something.

That wasn’t a big surprise. The little one indeed felt as if he just got hit by a car. He stood there motionless,  scared to even blink as he looked at the struggles of the human guys.

And that cursed blinking red light pierced through him harsher than when he first saw the Purple Dragons wielding it.

The orange kid had no idea why or how- maybe some mystic shenanigan was at play- but he could feel it… It seeped out of the alien tech. A power, a sense of consciousness that wasn’t present before. It created the same crushing pressure as when the Krang wore it. When they controlled it. It was as if an actual Krang was in control of the technology. 

Poor Mikey nearly choked on the rage and blood thirst that oozed from the thing.

The human girl turned her attention back to the purple turtle before her glaring baggers at the guy.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“Heh!” Donnie chuckled darkly. “Don’t look at me like that! You know exactly what’s going on.” He spoke in a strangely robotic and feminine voice.

In the meantime the dragon mech untangled their body from the softshell,  now hovering around the genius’ form in a half circle,  protectively.

Then with the flick of a wrist the turtle commanded the dragon and it obeyed. With a quick movement Drake’s mechanical tail took a swing at the girl’s wrist. As the metal collided with the thin arm a sickening crack could be heard and the purple themed human cried out in pain.

The blow also  knocked out the vial from the girl’s hand in such a perfect angle that it landed directly at the turtle’s hand,  who quickly pocketed it.

“Y- you,  you broke my wrist! F- fuck,  you’re gon- na regret this!” Kendra hissed in pain.

“Oooh,  enlighten me! How exactly?”

“ You son of a…” 

Slap! Suddenly,  the dragon’s tail slammed into the human’s face,  making her bite her tongue and crash into the wall during the process. She spit quite the amount of blood out.

“You will not bring my family into this,  understood?” The turtle spoke with a calmness so fake it probably made the words taste like plastic.

“W- wha’ de F yo wan’ fom us?! Ya hav de te-h an’ de vial. Ya br-bro is saf’. Hav not-in’ to giv’ ya. F off al-eady!” She spoke mangled because of her bitten tongue.

“Oh,  I still have something I need you for Kendra….. Revenge!” The softshell’s voice rang cold like ice making everyone including his own brother shiver in fear.

He made another hand gesture. This time he pointed a finger gun at the tech club leader’s shoulder. Then he counted down from three. And when he reached one he made the shooting gesture and exclaiming:

“Bang!” 

Drake moved in sync with the sound charging at the girl sinking their mechanical fangs into her shoulder. Blood sprayed out of the wound much like water from a loose hose.

Kendra gasped in agony,  tears rolled from her still fierce eyes. Her hands were clasped on the robot trying to wrench off the artificial beast. 

The turtle sadistically snickered,  looming over the girl like the grim reaper.

“Let’s see who’s leaving with all of their limbs still attached!” Donnie said ominously.

Kendra went pale,  the fierce hate in her eyes died and her face froze in horror.

“Tear it off!” The genius gave the order with a straight face and the routine of a war veteran trained to torture prisoners.

Kendra screamed and incoherently begged as sharp teeths sank even deeper into her shoulder.

---------------------------------

Mikey stood a few steps from his brother,  but the distance between them felt like light years. Donnie’s shadow blacker than night casted on the little one and it felt heavy like lead.

For minutes the orange kid failed to move or recognise the brother standing in front of him. All the alarm bells were ringing in his head, instinct screaming at him to run. To open his eyes and look,  look for the Krang,  because this overwhelming aura could not belong to anything else.

And yet,  it all radiated from his brother. He wasn’t Krang,  it made no sense. How could Donnie become so intimidating in the first place?

The box turtle stopped his legs from carrying him further and conscientiously did the opposite, stepping closer to the threat that his brother was.

Maybe the doftshell’s ninpo overtook the machines? Can he do that? And if he can,  why is Mikey unable to feel his power? Why does he only feel the Krang? Could it be that the presence left in those damned tech is so strong it’s masking his brother’s energy signature?

Too many questions and no hope to have answers. But one thing is certain,  the orange kid has to stop his brother. As much as he hated Kendra’s guts,  murder was not the answer. After all she still was the daughter of a loving family,  even if she was a villain for them.

And call him selfish to decide this on his own,  but he doesn’t want his brother to become a murderer.

So,  instincts,  crushing fear and better judgment be damned,  he’ll stop Donnie.

He walked up to the genius,  each step feeling like super gravity,  but he managed to reach him. Mikey threw himself at his older brother, twisting his arms around the other’s torso.

He squeezed him hard,  not knowing what response to expect. Maybe he’ll calm down,  maybe the uninvited contact will snap him out of his murderous state of mind. 

The orange kid held the purple one like that for long but nothing happened so he was really starting to panic.

If he was Raph he could just pick the softshell up like a bad cat and end his middle child nonsense.

Or if he was Leo he could read the genius like a book and say the words needed.

But he was Mikey. Mikey who had no idea what to do or  how to stop the falling of the dominos.

So he did what any child frustrated by their own inability would. He cried and begged:

“Donnie,  please stop this! It’s enough! It’s more than enough!”

He kept begging, unable to look at his brother’s face,  too afraid from what expression he would find. But he did look at the human girl once.

She was in pain and lost a lot of blood but a spark of hope was in her eye which the little one couldn’t put anywhere given that things looked grim.

But the box turtle didn’t know,  in the position he was in he couldn’t see it as the pink ring around the softshell’s pupil shattered and his eye reverted back to normal.

“Mikey? Why? She would’ve killed you if that meant reaching her goals.” The older turtle looked at his little brother, his voice now back to normal.

Yes, don't think about what you’re doing! Turn a blind eye to the blood pooling at your feet! Bring justice with your own hands otherwise no one will!

The softshell felt like this was a one way ticket. He can’t possibly leave this unfinished! He can’t let the cockroach crawl away!

Even if rationality screams at him that this is not what he wants. He can’t possibly bear the disgrace of what this lowly creature is.

Again he’s thinking all Krang like. He hates it, but the anger and arrogance is flowing through his veins,  making it near impossible to stop.

Not to mention the tentacles throbbing beneath his battleshell,  demanding to be freed so they can skewer the enemy.

He was scared. He looked at what he had done,  what he let his little brother witness?!  But the thing upsetting him most was how right it felt. He was sick to the stomach from himself.

“Because that would make you just as bad as her! And you are not like that! I know you’re angry,  I’m too,  but tearing her apart won’t fix a single thing!” Mikey reasones, desperate.

The softshell looks at his teary eyed brother,  then at the human. “She’s not worth it!” He thinks. After all, his little brother’s tears are worth more than diamonds. He can’t possibly end this pathetic pest if that will make the orange kid cry. He already made his family suffer enough….

The genius let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“That’s enough!” Donnie ordered the Krang techs. 

Upon the words leaving the turtle’s mouth the dragon released the girl barely hanging on shoulder and returned to the genius’ side. Kendra gave one last furious stare to the purple turtle before passing out and falling to the ground.

On the other side of the alley the gauntlet has stopped to try and cut off Jeremy's head. The locks that kept his hand trapped came undone and the dangerous item dropped to the concrete floor.

The softshell turned his attention towards the male members of the club.

“Grab your leader and get out of my sight!” He ordered with venom dripping from his words.

The two teens quickly scaled to pick up the girl and disappeared as if they had never even been there.

Now only two turtles, a robot dragon and a horror movie worthy blood bath remained in the alley.

Mikey still clutched his older brother like a lifeline. Refusing to let him go.

“I’m sorry Angelo…” Donnie broke the silence.

 Because what else was he supposed to say? Was there any way he could explain all this if the little one questioned him? 

Surely he could say it was the work of his ninpo. Well the taking control part,  but the rest…. He can’t unless he admits that he’s a monster. ~ You’re just a kid,  tho. ~

“ Nuh- uh.” The little one shook his head then buried his snout into the older turtle’s back.

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t like it, not one bit what he saw. It was vile and horrible. The stench of blood on the floor was making him nauseous. 

But he didn’t want his brother to apologize. It felt wrong,  for reasons that the little turtle had not quite grasped.

At the moment everything felt wrong. The whole situation was like something from a movie. One that Mikey did not sign up to see.

But what good would it do to yell at Donnie? He and Raph made that mistake already. He doesn't wanna go around judging his brother,  but wants to understand him.

So he swallowed the lump that formed in his throat to speak.

“I’m tired. Let’s go home!”  The box turtle said,  as he found harder and harder with each passing seconds to stay.

After what felt like an eternity of standing still in the eerie setting,  the genius finally answered.

“Just one more thing…”

The softshell patted the head of the robotic dragon.

Oh right,  they still had the Krang tech laying around. That’s no good. It would be dangerous to leave it.

“Drake,  destroy the gauntlet!” The purple turtle order and the dragon obliged.

The mechanical beast bit and chewed the gauntlet apart in mere seconds then returned to his new master.

Honestly the orange kid started to like the dragon. He looked a lot like Shelldon,  so if the genius would just install an AI system Shelly could have a sibling,  even a twin. The orange kid could clearly envision the two as twins just like Dee and Leo.

“So,  do we take him home?” The box turtle beamed quite excitedly to welcome a new addition to their family even if the start was in a  bit - let's say- unfortunate circumstances.

“Mikey,  could you just go ahead? You can wait for me at the ice cream shop or even the next block. I’ll catch up to you.” 

Mikey wanted to protest,  he didn’t want to leave his brother’s side. Especially after what just happened.

But he caught a glimpse of the older one’s expression.It was grim and sad like if he was just standing at a funeral. It made the little one feel like he had no choice. His brother would make him leave.

“Okey- dokey ! But I’ll be waiting for you.” The orange kid playfully saluted,  then left.

Or so did the softshell thought. In reality Mikey was just hiding behind the next wall,  too worried to actually leave.

The softshell looked sadly at the machine as he patted its head again. It was the design of his child. It looked so much like him. But at the same time it was a vile beast, a tool of the Krang. And nothing Krang was supposed to roam freely on this earth. Not after what Leo sacrificed. Karma,  will surely get all the alien scums that dare to step into this realm.

In a sense Drake was the mirror of Donnie. He was Shelldon’s design twisted out by Krang tech and the misuse of evil hands.

And that’s why the genius could never allow it to exist. He himself wasn’t supposed to be allowed to exist.

“Tear yourself apart!” The softshell ordered and the machine bowed in front of the will of its master before began to tear himself apart piece by piece.

It did it in such a violent manner it made the little turtle shiver even from a distance.

The robot creaked and screeched like a dying animal. Tearing down the other metallic layer and then getting tangled with its own wire made guts. Oil pouring out onto the concrete ground like blood. It twists and turns seemingly in agony as it breaks its frame….

The orange kid can’t even bear to watch it. It feels like he’s witnessing a carnage.

But Donnie….Donnie just stood there, with a stoic face Mikey couldn’t read. For the better. At least he remained blissfully unaware of the horror his older brother was experiencing.

After all, the softshell could hear the voice of the tech calling him,  so it’s no surprise he could hear its dying screams. As it wailed : ~Hurts!~ ~Stop it! ~ ~Enough!~ ~ Scared!~ ~ Help!~

He had no idea if the machine had awareness or if the parasite in his brain was just messing with him,  but it sounded like he was killing it… as if he was killing his own creation,  his son,  Shelldon…

Chapter Text

Donnie and Mikey were walking home in awkward silence.The elder cradling a military grade battery he took out of the dragon. It was an obvious elephant in the room situation but both of them were keen to ignore it.

After all the little turtle wasn’t supposed to see and the older was still in the belief that he didn’t. It’s better if it stays that way. The orange kid wished he would have listened to his brother. Now he can’t unsee the horrors.

The two of them make their way through the sewers and step through their lovely home’s doorway. Both of them about to let go a breath they’ve been holding all this time, when they hear three voices speaking in the living room:

“ Yer can't save his butt every time Leo! Ya need to take t’is more seriously!” Raph’s voice rang.

“And I’m doing that Big Daddy! But  being serious does not necessarily mean yelling and criticizing the decisions of others!” Leo rethorted.

“That’s not what Raph’s doin’!  It was insane what Don did! Yer can’ keep spoilin’ him! What if he….” The snapper stopped abruptly.

“He what?! Are you suggesting he would’ve killed Hypno?!  That’s why we are there! To stop each other from doing bad shit!”

“And what if we fail to stop him?! What if we are late?! If he actually kills someone? Because it seemed to Raph like he was determined to do it.” 

“So WHAT?! WHAT IF HE KILLS SOMEONE?! IF HE DID,  IF HE BECOME A VILLAIN HE WOULDN’T BE OUR BROTHER ANYMORE?! THAT’S WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY?!” The slider yelled.

Silence,  complete dead silence from the snapper.

“Ok,  ok guys stop it! Leo created us this wonderful opportunity to talk out the Donnie issue without him hearing it. And as much as it leaves a bad taste in my mouth to talk about him behind his back, we need to figure out what’s upsetting him so much that he behaves crazy.” April stepped in between the arguing second and third oldest.

That’s right, this was the elder trio’s emergency meeting. And they were discussing the softshell today.

Mikey and Donnie looked at each other,  the younger frantically gesturing to leave.

He was supposed to keep away the genius?! Why did no one say anything to him about it?! (Maybe because the orange kid was a bad liar.)

This was no good,  the breach of privacy. The little one was desperate to do something,  but it was too late. The purple brother already heard what was going on.  Visibly he was dead set on eavesdropping and he was an unmovable mountain if he made up his mind.

So Mikey’s frantic hand gestures simply got disregarded by a spared glance translating to : “You can go if you want to but I'm doing this and don’t you dare ruin it for me!”

In the end the box turtle stayed as well. He didn’t want to risk being seen while he’s heading to his room or literally any room in their home and expose the softshell. Even if he knew what they were doing was bad. Unlike a certain genius who seemingly felt no remorse listening to the private conversation.

And truth to be told he didn’t. Donnie felt completely justified in his action. Like how dare they talk about him behind his back! He was a little upset and betrayed. Like Leo… amongst his entire family it was Leo who set him up to go to the mall so they can talk about him?! That was a low blow and a frustratingly genius move. Making him go with Mikey so they can work out their problems and the elder trio gets to talk in private? Two birds with one stone. 

It was just one teeny- tiny miscalculation in the slider’s plan. He had no idea that the Purple Dragons would show their faces and the younger duo would come home early.

But despite being a little pissed at his twin,  he realized that what the blue brother did was probably for the best.  He has to admit,  with the way he lately behaves it was inevitable for the older siblings to try and find a solution. And it definitely would make the softshell feel bad if he heard what his oldest brother had to say about him. Not like Raph didn’t have all rights to be upset at what the genius did. Truth to be told he was actively hating his own guts because of it. 

Either way, he’s sure his twin just wanted to spare him from the yelling match. It’s really thoughtful of him and Donnie really should appreciate the effort more. Besides it would be a vise choice to just not break his own heart even further. Which is funny because what monster has a heart? Apparently this one….

Still he has to know,  no matter the price he just must…. He wants to hear his twin’s honest thoughts of him. Unfiltered by fear of hurting his feelings. And he would rather know what April and Raph think than find out later. So, no matter how much he feels like he can’t breathe,  he’ll stay and listen till the end.

“Fine, so what’s the big plan here Leo?” Raph said just slightly displaced by the way things were going.

“Something stressing him out…” Leo began.

“Oh,  don’ you say?” The older said mockingly.

“I think it has to do something with the invasion.”

“Look,  we’re all traumatized by it Leo,  that’s no excuse to act like someone who lost all of their marbles. Otherwise we all should act like that.”

“I don’t think your reasoning is completely right, Raph. I mean sorry Big guy I don’t wanna pick sides but everyone deals with trauma differently. It is possible that someone becomes violent from stress. So,  I’m with Leo on this!” April said.

“Hey,  yer ganging up on Raph?!”

“There is no such thing bro,  this is not about you remember?” Leo noted with a little smirk on his face,  damn it's so good to throw that sentence back at the sender.

“Ok boys, cut it out, we have a lot on our plate!” The human girl cut in.

“Fine!” The two turtles answered in unisound.

“ Ok,  so do we know anything specific? Well besides that he acts strange?” The human girl asked.

“Yea,  he wanted to kill Hypno,  and then beat dad, then he pointed his arsenal AT US!” Raph added not so helpfully.

“Ignoring that… I think it has to do something with the Techno Drone…” The slider said.

Air immediately froze in the room. Everyone aside from the blue turtle just stared in shock. The oldest face displayed the utter most destroyed face history ever seen.

“Yer wanna say the… the … they did something with Don?! NO,  NO,  NO! That can’ be! It’s Donnie! He can’  be mindcontrolled!” 

“Chillax hernano! No one said they are controlling him! But we can’t ignore the fact that he connected to an alien spaceship. ( Because of me! It’s all my fault!)  I personally don’t believe he has any goo that remains in his system,  but maybe the whole connecting thing overloaded his brain? He got short circuited? What I mean is this could be like a concussion.” The leader tried to explain.

“Ok,  so,  basically what you’re trying to say is,  you believe that the alien ship shook Dee’s brain like an off balanced washing machine on fast spin?” April summed it up.

“Yes,  yes,  that!” Leo cheered.

“That would make sense. Most  brain injuries have symptoms like agitation, mood swings or aggression accompanying them.” The human girl continued.

“And if that’s right,  then you were in the wrong Big Daddy for acting like that with DonTron. If he has a ‘condition’ you have to be more careful with him.” 

“Shell no! Raph can forgive a lot of stuff. Raph can forgive how Dee treated him,  but could never,  what he did to pops! Because of him he’s gone for who knows how long!” The oldest protested.

“ Not like it mattered if he was here…. ”

“What did ya say?”

“I said it doesn’t matter if he’s here,  Raph. Did it ever matter?! Did he ever stop anything bad from happening to us, aside from Draxum ?!”

“HOW CAN YA SAY THAT?”

“With my mouth hermano! Because it’s true. Dad didn’t do a single FUCK for me or Dee. Sorry that I’m the one who has to break it to you but dad is not a saint. Donald deserved to confront him and he deserved to be confronted about his shortcomings. The fact that he can’t handle the truth and he has to run away is not our fault!” Leo yelled, his voice dripping with venom as he lost his temper.

Raph got super angry. He saw all red and not because his bandana was accidentally covering his eyes. 

Sure their dad wasn’t perfect,  but he was still their dad and how could the twins talk about him like that?! Didn’t they see the devastated look on the old rat’s face when the softshell left him sitting on the floor?

Before he knew he lifted his hand and took a swing to smack the disrespectful slider. 

His hand came to a halt inches from the blue turtle’s face. He… wasn’t supposed to try and smack his brother….He almost hurt him.

Raph’s vision flickered and the scene in front of him rapidly switched between a green hand next to the blue brother’s face and a tentacle tightly wrapped around his throat.

The big guy’s breathing speeded up and he almost could feel the terrific presence of the Krang in his mind. He tried to tell himself that they were gone and they had no control over him anymore,  but he was spiraling way too fast to reason with himself.

Leo on the other hand was quite the opposite. He didn’t even flinch or close his eyes,  he was staring at Raph unfazed.

Then he lifted his own hands and held the bigger one’s. This immediately snapped the snapper back into reality.

“It’s ok Raph….” The slider spoke kind and calm,  seemingly his previous vicious behavior dissolved.

“It’s not! Raph almost…. Raph didn’ mean to….” The red turtle spoke while tears accumulated in the corners of his eyes.

“ Nuh-uh,  big guy. You didn’t do it at the end,  that’s what matters. And I’m sorry for saying upsetting things about dad…. But it’s the truth and neither you or him can turn a blind eye to it for much longer.” The second oldest turtle spoke with an almost automated kind of calmness.

The red brother took a deep breath. He needs to calm the fuck down!

“Yer right!”  Admitted Raph.

“I’m always….” Leo said it with his smile being gentle instead of the cocky one he usually wore.

Next the slider opened his arms inviting his older brother for a hug. And he didn’t have to wait too long. The big guy scooped him up like he was a plushie and hugged him tight.  

Leo hugged back and all seemed suddenly rainbows and butterflies. Well,  unless you caught the expression of the blue brother. He seemed angry and devastated for a minute before April moved close enough to actually see him. Then his expression switched in a split second to a strained smile.

“Raphie…. Please do me a favor and make things right with Dee! I think you might understand now… He doesn’t want to be like this either. I know. I can tell! He’s uncomfortable doing the things he does. Just like you Raph. You should have seen him,  how eager he was to make up with Miguel. Can’t you just cut some slack for the guy?”

“Raph supposes he could…. I mean I’ll try…”

“ That’s the spirit! How about we move our meeting to the kitchen? I think everyone could use some nice calming tea.” April who's so far literally held her breath waiting the moment she had to step between the two chimed in.

“Good idea! The snapper cheered,  glad that there was something to take off their minds from the previous event.

He didn’t hesitate to follow the girl who already began to walk towards the kitchen. Before they exited the room the oldest turtle looked back seeing that his younger brother hadn't moved but clutched his sword preparing to teleport.

“Ya know Raph can carry ya if walkin’ is too much trouble!” He offered.

“Nah,  don’t worry big guy! I’ll be right behind you guys. I just need to take a detour to the bathroom!”

“Oh ok,  then we will be in the kitchen so join us when you’re done!” The red brother said and he left.

The blue brother who now thought he was alone,  quickly made a portal and stepped through leaving the living room empty.

--------------------------------

“Phew,  that was… intense….” The orange kid sighted turning his attention back to his genius brother.

The softshell was standing stiff and still as if he was a stone statue. Staring at the spot where the elder three used to be. He seemed… horrified?

That was a tad weird. Sure no one would like to hear that kind of stuff being said about them. Mikey was already feeling crushed just to hear that deafening silence after Leo asked Raph’s opinion about what if Donnie was a bad guy.

The orange kid didn’t know either. He didn’t know if he was able to look the same at his older brother if he killed Kendra today. 

Heck, he could barely look at him and not see the sadistic expression the genius had while torturing the girl. It sent chills down his spine making him really question if this was really his purple brother.

And at the same time he felt extremely guilty for feeling this way. This was his brother! He loved him and Donnie loved him back the same way. It felt like he was betraying the softshell each time he failed to see his brother beneath the displayed cruelty.

The box turtle can’t help but wonder if the snapper feels the same way he does. 

But concurrently he can’t help admiring Leo for standing tall and  unfazed after seeing the purple turtle commit such an atrocity with Hypno or their own family. Almost like if he didn’t care. Like if he was ready to bury a body with his twin one of these days. 

Honestly the poor orange kid can't even decide whose behavior is more alarming.

The brother who seems to be drowning on his own sense of morality, pushing away the rest of the family,  the useless one who sees so much but can do so little about it,  the one who’s ready to commit murder at any given moment or the one who’s prepared to support the previous one in whatever crime he’ll commit.

“Are you alright Dee?” The orange kid asked, concerned.

The softshell looked at him pale as if he saw a ghost,  his eyes wide and his body trembling violently from… fear?

“I gotta go!” The genius announced and was about to bolt when Mikey caught his arm. 

“What?! Where are you going? What’s going on Dee?!” 

“ You don’t get it! His make up was- was flaking. That can’t be good! I need to check on him! Don’t follow me Angelo!”

With that the older turtle gently pulled his arm out of the box turtle’s hold and rushed after his twin leaving the poor kid perplexed.

Honestly he can’t blame him. He was just as baffled by his own behavior as his little brother was. He’s not the one to get this emotional over a small thing,  nor to show it this clearly. He was just so scared. He saw Leo looking like someone who’s about to do shit and dread immediately coursed through his veins. 

The sense of something bad is about to happen was overwhelming. It felt the same as when he stood on the ground watching his twin go. It felt as if his twin was slipping away again. And it made him break out in cold sweat.

He knows he’s probably overreacting. He knows it rationally ,  but he can’t fight these unleashed emotions. They ram into him like a freight train over and over again and his will is breaking with each blow.

He NEEDS IT! To see him.NEEDS IT! NEEDS IT! HE MUST HAVE IT! HIS TWIN! HIS! HIS! HIS! ~ Protect him!~

The softshell found himself at the bathroom door before he even realized. He grabbed the doorknob and turned or more likely twisted it like a mad man. 

When he failed to open it,  because of course it was closed - Not alarming at all.- he tried to listen. He struggled to hold his breath trying to pick up the noise of running water or the sound of deodorant being sprayed or just to the sound of the toilet. Noises that usually indicate that the bathroom is being used for its intended purposes. 

But it was silent… Dead silent,  which immediately solidified his theory. Leo visited the bathroom for a different reason. Which let’s be real,  given that it’s the only place in the house which is supposed to have a lock (Donnie is not actually allowed to have a lock on his lab door but he keeps installing them each time they are taken off.) he can imagine why the slider rushed here. And none of the possible reasons are pretty….

The thoughts ran wild and soon the genius was heaving heavy breaths,  unable to calm down - not till he can see Leo safe with his own eyes-  and this door was in his way!

Without a second thought the younger twin began to bang on the door voice loud just a hairstring away from full blown yelling as he called his twin:

“Leo!....Leo!..... I know you’re in there! Let me in or I will break this motherfucking door!”

The silence continued and the softshell braced himself to break that door when he heard the key turning. Then the door creaked open and the blue turtle poked his head out.

“Yeesh DonTron, can a guy do his business?! Or is it this urgent?” The slider joked,  looking completely fine. 

And that moment the genius really wanted to just chalk all of this up to paranoia induced by that damned parasite,  but something was off. Unnatural…

He eyed his twin and soon found what bothered him. It was the pose which his brother had taken. He grabbed the doorknob with his opposite hand. The one further from the door.

You see when someone reaches for the door,  they naturally do it with the hand  closer to it. That’s a subconscious action. If a person who has both their hands working and healthy does it then that was a conscious action.

It’s such a small detail. If it wasn't Donnie then it would’ve stayed unnoticed. But now that he has seen it…

“Your hand… What’s up with your other hand?”

“What are you talking….”

Leo couldn’t finish his sentence as the younger twin pushed the door in and forcefully entered the bathroom,  finally laying his eyes onto the hand in question.

It was bleeding. Pretty badly at the knuckles. 

The softshell quickly pushed the door shut and locked it then he gently but firmly grabbed his twin’s hand to inspect it.

“I know what you are thinking…. But I promise,  I didn’t mean to…. I just got frustrated with Raph.”  

The genius looked at the injury. It wasn’t a cut,  nor the product of repeated punches. It was caused by one. So his twin was likely telling the truth.

He looked around and almost immediately found the area next to the mirror dripping with blood.

“You punched the wall.” The younger twin started deadpan.

“Yea…” Leo admitted quietly.

“Can't you just let it go Nardo? Why are you so determined to convince Raph? About dad… About me …”

The softshell walked to the bathroom cabinet and took out their black towel and some bandages. Then he got to work on that messy-messy hand.

“I…don’t know hermano.I guess it just always bothered me….”

“That Raph doesn’t know?” Donnie asked surprised,  it didn’t sounded as a Leo-like thought.

“No… I guess not that,  but how he never seems to hear me. Dad never seemed to hear us either. It just pisses me off. How both of them so easily dismiss or label us.” The slider spoke with his back against the wall,  sitting on the ground as his eyes seemed to stare into the distance.

“Well I would like to scold you for it,  but I would be the biggest hypocrite after my fight with dad… Also because…. you know…. you stood up for me…. Thanks. ”

“No big- WAIT! WHAT?! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HOME?!”

“For a while. Which means I heard everything.”

“Why?! You guys weren’t supposed to… Did something happen between you two?! You guys didn’t manage to make up?”

“Calm down dum dum! Everything is fine in that department. We just ran into the Purple Dragons and they ruined the mood.”

“We just never get a break from bad guys huh?”

“ Never. I guess the hero business is not one with payment or vacations.” The purple brother snickered lightly.

In the meantime he managed to bandage his injured twin up and wiped the wall with the towel. Thankfully the slider didn’t make any indents.

The older turtle rose to his feets and dusted himself.

“ Ok,  so…. Is my presence needed here or….” Donnie began.

“No,  you did enough Dee.Sorry for this… um… situation.” Leo apologized awkwardly.

“You’re not planning to do more shit right?”

“ Nah,  I’ll just slip back to Pril and Raph.Hopefully our conversation stays civil this time. So,  you can go and do your nerdy business. Just please… promise me that you won’t eavesdrop this time!”

“But…”

“Please Tello!”

“ Fine. But only if you promise me that you’ll stop picking fights with walls.”

“I’ll try.” Leo giggled as he left the bathroom.

Donnie stood in the bathroom for a long time . His head swarmed by thoughts that have been repressed so he can help his twin and his body frozen like if he was cursed.

After a while he abruptly rushed out of the room,  speeding to his lab and locking the door.

The genius sank to the ground battleshell resting against the wall.

He was heaving heavy breasts and shaking like a leaf in the storm.

The softshell couldn’t help it, his blood was boiling. The tentacles under his battleshell viciously tried to escape, pulling all his tender skin around,  but he didn’t care,  because that was his punishment he supposed.

All of this was his fault. He spilled the tea about the neglect before Leo was ready and now the poor guy is stuck cleaning the mess of the purple turtle. And then he goes and burden him further with his erratic behavior. 

He’s leading both of them to crash. It’s all his fault and yet the slider is determined to make Donnie the one who makes it out without a scratch. If this keeps up,  the older twin is going to break.

And the genius really wants to stop this! If he could just act more normal,  if it weren’t for the damned Krang he is…

He frustratedly punches the floor,( look who’s punching surfaces now)  putting all his weight into it. The impact causes something to fly out of the genius’ pocket. 

A little vial with radioactive blue,  glowing threateningly in Donnie’s purple lights. 

The softshell feels all his new instincts protesting,  his muscles twitched and spasmed violently as he reached for it disregarding it all.

It was the parasite’s problem not his. A mutant  or human had nothing to fear from the herbicid. The fact that he in spite of that, felt like passing out from the terror coursing through him painted a grim picture of his current condition.

He was Krang. Not half Krang but more Krang than human or mutant. It all boiled down to that in the end. All of their problems were caused by him. 

Sure some problems weren’t directly his fault, but the other Krangs. But what did that matter?  He was one of them. Their flesh and blood,  with nowhere to run from himself.

He keeps hurting his family,  being useless for Leo,  constantly being the one comforted and protected never the other way around. And his twin was buckling under the weight he was trying to carry with a single leg.

If he could be just less of this hateful creature. He stared at his own reflection on the glass….

Then he got struck by an idea.

“This thing! If I can separate the components and analyze them,  I might be able to find a substance that’s capable of killing the alien tissue slowly and inhibiting the Krang’s regeneration. Then I’ll be able to reduce the amount of Krang in my body and due to my mutant healing factor my original tissues could overtake parts from the foreign ones.” 

He would have to be careful and make sure that the tissue’s necrosis is progressing at the exact rate as his mutant healing restores him. Otherwise his whole body would collapse.

Of course he was sure he can’t completely rid himself from the parasitic life form as it probably replaced some important parts of him entirely.

But hey,  if he can be just half- or even better just a quarter Krang,  he would take it any day over being this much akin to those damned monsters.

Risky plan sure,  but it was the best idea he had as of late. So,  he proceeded to methodically pick the acquired sample apart and study it thoroughly.

After what felt like an eternity,  but actually only been  a few hours he had an answer. It was so simple,  convenient it made him mad to not realize it before.

That thing in the vial was mainly just regular everyday alcohol.First he was skeptical about it,  but once he poured rubbing alcohol onto the little tentacle he teared off himself when he first discovered he was part Krang and kept it ever since,  to his shock and awe it melted. Not in a fast manner as Bitch Krang’s face after April’s stunt, but slowly and seemingly agonizingly.

Donnie gulped. Afraid from the pain,  from the concept of melting his body with something that would act for him as acid.

Once when he was tiny he got a little sulfuric acid ( Don’t ask where and why his child self got that!) onto his hand…Let’s just say it was a pain he never managed to forget.

Another deep breath. He couldn’t care less about pain right now! If that was the cost of weakening the influence of that wretched little pest,  then he can’t chicken out now! 

He poured a bit of rubbing alcohol into a container and he put just the tip of his third finger in it.

The genius waited for the excruciating pain and waited and waited,  but nothing happened. He looked into the thing taking a sample from his skin,  only to find out his scales were still mainly turtles,  so the alcohol alone could not do the trick. 

He also tried the original herbicide on the taken sample and it melted at a rapid rate.

That means that alcohol will not melt the outer part of his body but the herbicide aided with a variety of other chemicals will melt him like if he was a popsicle stuck in the oven.

Without the possibility to slowly melt his Krang side away his chances of finding a solution were extremely slim.

As a last ditch effort he looked into what would be the effect of the alcohol of tissue taken from below skin level.

And that was a huge success! The alcohol did exactly what it meant to do. It slowly destroyed the sample. Maybe a bit faster than what would be ideal,  but still in between the boundaries.

This meant he can actually use it,  but it has to reach his inners that were weak against it.

At first he thought about injecting it into his bloodstream but that wouldn’t be easy. He would need to give a lot of shots to himself at various points of his body.

Wait there was a solution. A way to get the substance into his body without needing to involve needles. 

He just needs to drink it. Sure not the rubbing alcohol,  but regular liquor. Anything that has 70℅ alcohol in it.

Now his knowledge of alcoholic beverages were vague given that he was underage,  but if his mind serving him well - And why wouldn’t it?- then Vodka and some Gin would be perfect for his (self) experiment.

The problem is… He’s underaged and doesn’t know anyone who would hand a minor any kind of alcohol especially without a strong reason. 

He thinks if he’d tell about his situation his family might get him some. Not Raph tho,  he’s too goodie two shoes. But April and Cass would be on board,  he thinks. If it was for medical reasons of course.

But that would require him to spill the tea about his whole “being a monster” business.  And that would kill one of the main reasons he’s doing this. The other one being his own comfort of course.

His thoughts run a hundred miles per hour,  his brain practically smoking from the fast turn of his gears as the softshell was trying to figure out a way to cheat the system.

Then his dum dum big brain decided to finally cooperate with him and he remembered. 

Splinter had an entire bottle of vodka stashed away in the pantry. He never been the one to drink - Thanks to Pizza Supreme!- but apparently it was a gift,  so he couldn’t bring himself to throw it out.

When they were children they talked about it after the twins accidentally discovered it and their pops promised them that the entire family together will drink a tiny glass of it once even the youngest matured to legal drinking age. So… probably Mikey’s 21st birthday or the Christmas after it.

It pained him to think about taking that prized vodka all by himself,  but staying an alien freak would hurt him and his family more. So,  in the purple turtle’s eyes it wasn’t that big of a sacrifice.

The genius opened his lab door as silently as he could and with rad ninja skills he sneaked into the pantry. Not like he had a hard time with it since no one was in the kitchen. The elder trio probably moved their conversation to Raph’s room or they might be already done.

Either way,  he won’t be looking a gift horse in the mouth.

He searches for a while , till he finally manages to find the beverage under piles of chips and other junk food. 

The bottle was big. Even bigger than what he remembered and it was heavy,  more than he would expect,  but it was probably because it was in a thick glass bottle.

Donnie held it in his hands, carefully,  almost scared like if he was handling liquid nitroglycerin. Well it was an explosive in a sense. It can cause quite the damage to the genius’ Krang side,  but at the same time it would prove quite destructive for his family too if they were to ever find out what he had done.

No need to worry tho. As long as no one catches him in the act he’ll be fine. It’s not like anyone will search for the liquor till Mikey’s 21 st birthday and by that time Donnie will be in drinking age and he can purchase the exact same vodka and replace this one. He just has to keep in mind the brand and the details of the beverage.

“It’s a solid plan.” He thought to himself as he locked the lab door to prevent anyone catching him red handed.

After that he pulled a purple colored bean bag out from under a desk. Comfort is important after all. And grabbed the precious liquor.

He held the bottle to the light and shook it making its content swirl around. It seemed like regular water. Maybe it won’t be that bad.

The softshell twisted off the cap and the violent smell of alcohol immediately invaded his nostrils. Ok,  so he hated the smell. No biggie! There was plenty- ok a few- food and beverages that had an unpleasant scent but amazing taste.

Therefore the genius poured a little vodka into the cap and stuck his tongue into it just to taste the stuff.

Now,  that was a foolish idea. It tasted horrible,  it was bitter but not even close to how coffee was and it set his tongue on fire.

He hated it and if he doesn’t have to go near any vodka for the rest of his life,  it would be still too soon.

It really made him want to reconsider his plan of drinking any of this vial fluid. He really wanted to back out because this was one of those ideas that sounded better in his head,  but now holding this bottle it kinda sounded dumb.

Yes,  yes he could still back out and pretend nothing had happened and nothing would happen. The vodka will be still in the pantry,  he won’t be over his first intoxication,  he won’t risk becoming the disgrace of the family BUT he won’t be getting rid of the parasite either. He’ll be useless and selfish and dangerous and  a MONSTER !

~Don’t do it!~  The parasite whines.

“Fuck it!” Anger flooded the brain of the genius and without thinking twice he grabbed the bottle chugging down the entire bottle.

Aided with his superior softshell DNA this meant he just poured it down his throat without the need to swallow.

If he was a regular human he would probably come to his senses after the first few gulps,  but he was a turtle (partially) and therefore the entire quarts of vodka was in him before he pulled the bottle out of his mouth.

He couldn’t feel the taste in his mouth but his throat and stomach was set aflame burning like if he just drank acid. Was this normal,  or was his Krang side already melting?

Well he was no expert but he’d think it was the latter as he doesn’t assume having white spots in your vision from the pain is supposed to be the natural effect.

Ok,  that was so not good! He’ll get drunk. Way too drunk to actually follow the progress he makes or to monitor his own vitals.  Or he might blacks out from the pain. This could get bad. He should really seek some help,  perhaps Leo? He’s the least likely to scold him and he has blackmail in case he wanted to snitch.

But… as much as that sounds comforting, he shouldn’t. It’s a well known fact that people can and will change under the influence. What if he’ll become violent and hurt his twin? With those damned flesh vines growing out of his back,  and the slider’s unuseable leg it’s clear who would have the upper hand.

Besides if he goes he likely has to reveal his secret and then he would have to just sit and watch the house of cards burn.

On the other hand if this goes on,  he might die, which is surprisingly not upsetting him as much as it should. Anything is better than living in pain and like a monster hated by everyone he loves.

Still,  he can’t help feeling bad for his family that will find him dead in the morning covered in Krang flesh that seemingly tried to take over his body. Without any explanation they'll blame themselves,  they will think that a damned alien is still out to get them and live in fear from a non existent enemy.

He can be a monster rotten to the core,  but he can’t stand the thought of that. He has to let them know! He has to go to Leo!

If he dies then at least they’ll know it was his own fault. If he survives and they find out his secret they might kick him out… He deserves that anyways.

The softshell tries to stand, then walk to the door, but the floor tilts in ways he logically knows it shouldn’t and the scene in front of him melts like a plastic action figure in the microwave.

He sways left and right; everything around him flashes and flickers objects twisting into abstract nonsensical shapes. He feels the rush,  he’s so strong,  so capable at the moment he could take on an army of those fucking aliens and yet his leg shakes and buckles under him.

He falls to the floor not even realizing how he got there nor feeling the bruises forming upon the impact. He’s on top of the world laying on the cold concrete floor.

The genius distantly remembers he wanted to do something. It was important he supposes,  but thoughts invade and escape his mind like rapid fire.

He uses all his might to crawl on all four to the bean bag and flop onto it. In his hand he still has a death grip on the bottle. And with no better idea to kill time in his drunken state he puts the glass into his mouth and begins to chew on it.

He's been doing it for a long time. It feels like days have passed or maybe just minutes. Time is a fickle thing in his state.

And then he hears footsteps. Are they closing in or moving away? It's a mystery,  but one thing is sure, they are heavy.

Soon the lock’s keypad beeps and the door opens revealing a giant shadow towering over the softshell like if it was some sort of monster coming to eat him whole.

He quickly dismissed the thought tho. After all, the only monster in this house was in the room with Donnie all along. Or more likely it was him.

The figure, the one who is nothing but red and green blur right now,  should be the one concerned. They- He- Raph,  just found a monster masquerading as his younger brother.

---------------------------

When Raph stepped into Donnie’s lab he expected a lot of things. Especially since he found the place locked down. Which wasn’t supposed to happen as it was a rule to not have any lock in the house except the bathroom. And the snapper warned the softshell so many times he watched as he removed the lock from the heavy metal lab door, but somehow it always got reinstalled when he looked away.

It wasn’t a problem though. It wasn’t one of those overkill locks the genius used on his giant lab safe. Probably because he had to reinstall the lock often and quickly.

Anyways the oldest brother punched in the password with ease.

No, he did not figure it out by himself. Mikey once went to bring food to the purple brother and he was way too occupied with some scientific stuff to bother to open the door by himself so he just told the little one. And since it was a long and hard seemingly nonsensical ( probably sensical)  line of numbers 2 15 15 20 25 25 25 19 8 1 11 5 18 9000 with spaces between them the softshell didn’t expect his smallest brother to remember it after hearing it once.

And then the orange kid told Raph who wrote it down on the inside of one of  his arm wrappers. So, any times they really wanted to enter they could even without using Leo’s handy portals. 

Of course Donnie could just come up with a new password but so far the oldest-youngest duo got away with it saying the door was  actually open. It probably messed with the poor genius’s head.

Either way the red brother was standing in the lab, finding his purple brother laying on his back on a bean bag splayed out as a frog. His first thought was:

 “ How strange…” and the second which he immediately voiced as well:

“ What is  t’is smell Don?! It’s kinda like a liquor store in here…” The snapper wrinkled his nose.

Then he saw it… The bottle in his little brother’s hand. Letters clear as day spelling : Vodka. The horror only struck him for real when he saw that the entire thing was gone.

“Hehe… It’ kin’a like thwat…” The softshell answered slurred and  so much later than he was supposed to.

The pitch of his voice, the tempo of his speech was changing frequently even though it was such a short sentence. And over all the manner he spoke was way off. 

His eyes didn’t look into Raph’s either. Which wasn’t surprising, he never really liked to make a whole lot of eye contact, but the fact that he wasn’t even looking at the snapper, pretty much staring five feets to the oldest left was concerning.

“There ain’ no way! Yer…yer DRUNK?!” Yelled the snapper in utter disbelief.

“Jus’ [Hiccup] wa bit. It’s fow t’e best! It’s fow scien-ce.[Hiccup]”

“ Raph can’ believe ya! Yer underaged ya idiot! What were ya thinkin’ huh? And yer drunk the whole bottle?! That's a lot of alcohol Don! What if ya get alcohol poisonin’?! ” The oldest whose goal -about a minute ago- was to apologize and make things right with his little brother,  lost all his will to do so.

He was extremely angry and extremely worried.

“Where ya even got t’at from?!”

“Nunya bus-s-s-s-inness!”

“Of course it is Raph’s. I’m yer big brother! I have the right to know!”

“Y’ hav’ t’e right to pull out t’e stick stuc’ up y’ ass!”

“Donnie don’ play with Raph’s patience! Yer in the red here! And language!”

“It’s Engwish!”

The red turtle really had to hold back at this point to stay civil because the genius was really getting on his nerves right now.

“Donnie t’is is the last time Raph asks you nicely! Where did ya get the vodka from?”

“Gwo to hell! Y’ no mah dad! Even if y’ were it wouldn’ matte’. Ih don’ t’ink he’d care. Sa, leave meh alooooooon’!” The softshell waved around the glass bottle like if he was trying to chase away a fly.

Then his lazy grip on the object slipped and the bottle flew out of his hand hitting the wall and shattering into glass confetti.

The oldest’s eyes went wide. He was surprised and terrified at the same time. Donnie was not behaving like himself at all. It was almost like if he got possessed. Well he was kinda,  by the vodka,  he supposed.

The snapper stared at the broken bottle.  By the softshell’s “hostile” behavior,  he’s definitely not getting anything out of him. Not a word. 

The gears in his brain kept turning and the best he could come up with was that the genius managed to buy one in the mall? It was pretty much illegal to sell alcohol to minors,  but this is New York. There are a lot of folks out there and not all of them are above selling booze to a child just to get money.

But wait a minute! Wasn’t Mikey with Donnie the whole time?! Now to think of it the red turtle didn’t see his smallest brother since the youngest duo came home. Could it be?

“Don quit with the middle child nonsense! DID MIKEY GOT ALCOHOL TOO?!” The oldest yelled.

“Iunno! Ma’be…” The younger shrugged and smiled deviously.

Truth to be told he really couldn’t remember. His mind was too hazy.

“WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?! DONNIE IS OUR LITTLE BROTHER DRUNK OR NOT!”

“T’e kin’ y’ deserv’ big brlo!”The softshell just snickered maliciously,  his eyes swimming around like if he was chasing imaginary butterflies.

“Pizza Supreme keep me from smackin’ some sense into him!” 

The red turtle needed an  iron will to keep himself from snapping. He was so close. 

But he was a big brother and maybe - just maybe- Leo was onto something. Yelling doesn’t seem to get through to the genius. 

”Well, ok,  let’s take a deep breath and think about what Raph knows! Donnie definitely drunk himself silly,  but he doesn’ seem to be in any danger. He’s hopefully didn’ get alcohol poisonin’ nor any injuries. Therefore, checking Mikey should be the priority!” The snapper ponders.

“Yer goin’ to put Raph in the early grave!” The oldest sights as he walks slowly out of the room.

The purple turtle suddenly being overtaken by an unexplainable sense of fear. Something deep inside him screams: “ Don’t leave me! ” But his mouth won’t open.

He tries to crawl (given that walking is already out of question) after his eldest brother,  but the floor is like ice and the softshell’s limbs slide out from under him. 

He ends up splayed on the floor like a bear rug. He whines as he tries to stand up,  but he only manages to lift his head at best.

“Oh right,  don’ go anywhere in the meantime got it! Raph’s not done with ya. Also,  Mike better not be drunk or yer toast!”

With that the snapper disappeared, knowing that the younger was in no condition to escape the lengthy lecture once he returned. After all, he couldn't even crawl on all four.

Then silence engulfed the room and fear took over Donnie. He didn’t know why he was so scared. But his heart was beating out of his chest and  his breathing was erratic. His thoughts painfully slammed into his brain,  yet he couldn’t concentrate at any of them from the paralyzing dread. He shook and shivered. He was way to open his back was towards the roof and he couldn’t tell , he couldn’t feel if the battleshell was on him.

The genius had no idea if he was afraid for or from himself. He just wanted to get away,  he just wanted to crawl into the tiniest hole he could find, but his limbs wouldn’t move.

And the floor was so cold it burned,  and he felt unwell and he was all alone! He doesn’t want to be alone!

Frustrated and panicked he didn’t even notice the green- blue blur in front of him. Not until it- he spoke:

“You call-....Eugh boi!” Leo spoke in utter shock from seeing his twin like that.

The softshell’s head whipped around and he ended up letting out the most pathetic needy chirp of his life.

“Oh, that serious….Hang on!” 

The Slider limped to the closet and he pulled out a fluffy purple blanket which he gently threw over the softshell.

The older twin drew a circle around them with his sword and the enchanting light swallowed them. And before the portal snapped shut the sound of heavy footsteps rushing angrily towards the lab echoed.

“Phew! That was a close call! Your wasted ass almost got the scolding of  a lifetime. You own me one DonTron!” The slider noted cheekily.

But his twin didn't react,  he kept letting out these tiny distressed chirps,  each being a knife through the older’s heart. When was the last time he heard Donnie this needy and helpless? He couldn’t remember…

“ Just what the shell got you so worked up ?” The blue turtle muttered to himself.

He looked at his younger twin. He was seemingly at the verge of a nasty melt down. The blue turtle let out a tired sight and moved to his twin,  crouching down to him.

“I don’...w’ere we’r?” The genius mumbled horrified.

“ Shhh! It’s ok Dee! We are at our favorite rooftop,  you know, the one with the prettiest sights.” Leo gently patted his twin’s head.

The older only found out by chance - twin sense- that Donnie was wasted. And he hated the idea of Raph lecturing the younger twin while he’s so vulnerable. It just didn't feel right. So,  he spirited him away to their favorite spot to let him sober up before facing the oldest’s anger.

“Cwold!”

“Right- right! The ground can’t be comfortable huh?”

The slider moved behind his brother,  gently grabbed and adjusted him in a sitting position. The blanket was wrapped around him loosely so as to not make the poor guy feel trapped.

The genius sat between the slider’s legs which were halfway pulled up and leaned against the younger’s sides to balance and keep him from swaying left and right.

The rest of Leo’s body acted as a living backrest as his twin slumped against his plastron. 

“I’m going to put my arms around you so you can warm up faster. If you don’t want to be touched let me know, ok?” The older one spoke slowly and calmly making sure he was heard and understood.

After not getting any sign of protest against the physical contact he was about to make,  he wrapped his arms around his brother who surprisingly leaned into the touch like an affectionate kitten.

It was just so warm,  so calming. Donnie couldn’t help but long for it. His twin wasn’t as hot as the sun… He was just as warm as a morning coffee. He was everything he needed at that moment . Or at least what he thought he needed. Because he was finally safe? Comfortable? Not alone? 

Who knows why. But it was true nonetheless.

They sat there quietly,  watching as the New York lights danced in the night. They listened as cars and people rushed on the streets below. Some faint music played somewhere. Maybe it was a performance or a concert.

On a better day the twins would check it out,  maybe join the crowd and dance around. New York was a strange place after all. And during night time no one would question the giant talking turtles. Everyone would think they are mascots or closeplayers.

But tonight Donnie didn’t seem to be up to the challenge and Leo rather not leave his twin alone in his state. So as alluring as the music was he settled for just listening to it from a distance.

After a while when the softshell seemed calm enough the older twin decided to try and speak to him. Maybe he can get some information about what the shell was actually going on.

“Soooo,  how does it feel being drunk?” Leo asked in a joking tone.

“ Ho’ ibble…” 

“I bet. I mean you really destroyed an entire bottle of vodka?! Unbelievable! Just what the actual hell possessed you to do it?” The slider spoke lightheartedly.

The purple brother shrugged,  not even looking at his twin…

“Fine,  I guess,  if you don’t want to talk about it I won’t force you. I’m just bummed that you didn’t keep your promise that we’ll lose our alcohol virginity together. You know if you just said something I would've been your underaged drinking partner. You know that I have  loose morals.”  Leo tried to keep his cheerful demeanor but his eyes told a different story.

They sparkled with a sense of hurt and sadness. He really took it to his heart that Donnie got drunk without him. 

How dumb! But then why does the genius feel so guilty? 

Suddenly a bit of clarity came back to haunt the purple brother. He remembered why he drank the vodka, but he also remembered the promise the slider was talking about. The horror of realization like a bucket of ice poured onto him.

He messed up! Messed up big time. He needed to make it right!

But how could he?! He simply can’t. He’s a selfish monster that keeps hurting his family. There is no coming back from that. He’s never getting rid of it. He can no longer fix anything. Not himself nor the family he’s actively breaking apart.

Still,  he couldn’t keep quiet. His mouth seemingly gained its own will and poured words he didn’t mean to say out.

“I’am sowy… I had to…cou’dn’ stan’ it!”

“What?”

“ T’e mon’twer in mah head. It’s too loud. Says t’ings I don’ wanna hear!”

“Oh…” The older felt like he suddenly understood something.

“I think,  I’m familiar with said monster.” He said.

After all, it was true. Leo did have a voice in his head that kept telling him that he’s not good enough or to jump into the prison dimension with a homicidal alien and no way out. But he didn’t know Donnie had one too. Well,  ok he wasn’t a stranger to his twin’s bad thoughts but he never ever heard the softshell refer to it the same way he did.

“Naw! Y’ don’ gwet it! Y’ can’. Swure,  y’ foug’t whit em,  but nah the way I do. Am tired fwom it.” The genius spoke with his tone  on the brink of yelling.

“Don’t get worked up, geeze! Did at least the vodka shut it up?”

“Twink so…”

“Pff! He said ‘twink’ hahahaha!” Leo laughed earning a light smack from his twin.

“Ok ok,  I’m done! Promise!”

Listening to his twin’s yapping,  the genius slowly began to sober up a bit. Or at least his thoughts cleared. And that’s when the bad just got worse…

He felt a sudden pain ripped through his abdomen. It was hot. It felt like molten lava was swirling around in his insides. It burned! White hot pain so strong it immediately knocked every  other thought out of the softshell’s mind. His vision flickered with white spots threatening him to black out and every inch of him was numb with blooming agony.

Not to mention how his stomach felt so full he wanted to throw up,  the pressure made the illusion that his organs were being actively crushed.

The genius’ breathing picked up and with a blood curdling scream of pain he threw himself to the ground curling up and rolling around,  like if he was trying to put a flame out that was set on his body.

He knew what this pain was. He was smart enough to realize it. Didn’t he drink the vodka to melt the Krang flesh away in his body? That was happening right now. His insides were menting. He knew it would hurt,  but never in his wildest dream did he imagine it would hurt this bad.

So far he didn’t feel much pain. Probably because the alcohol numbed his senses. But now that he was sobering up it hit him like a tidal wave.

Not to mention that he probably made a mistake,  a little miscalculation. It was way too much alcohol and it melted him way too fast. His mutant regeneration can’t keep up with this speed. 

He’s going to die! Melt away from the inside like a popsicle. The realization terrified him. He didn’t want to die! He was scared,  like a little kid… So he screamed and yelled,  not drunk enough to be chill about it and not sober enough to control himself.

“AM DYIN’! HUR’SSSS! HWELP! AM SCA’ED! PLEASSSE,  STOP! AM DYIN’! AM DYIN’ !” 

“DEE?! What’s going on?! WHAT’S WRONG?!” The blue brother asked in panic,  but he received no answer.

Leo has seen his twin in pain before,  but what he was currently witnessing was something he had never experienced before. His twin was usually eerily quiet if he got hurt.

Maybe it was the fault of the alcohol,  but knowing the cause didn’t make it less horrific seeing Donnie rolling around in blind panic crying out for help,  screaming he’s about to die.

The slider couldn’t help, his breath hitched and he had to use all his strength to push down an upcoming panic attack. He’s the medic after all,  he can’t panic right now! The problem is he has no idea what’s wrong with his twin. He seems to be in great agony,  but why and how? He was pretty much fine a second ago. What changed? Was it the alcohol? Did it harm his twin because they were turtles? Would a turtle get sick from alcohol?

The older twin took a deep breath and did what he could. Since there was no chance to approach the situation from the medical side just yet,  given that he had way too little information,  he opted for the psychological part. He’ll calm his twin and then he might get some answers.

So the slider reached for his twin and said:

“I’m going to touch you Dee!” 

If he was heard then he completely got ignored. It didn’t bother him,  but he hoped his voice  was at least perceived.

Then he gingerly grabbed the softshell and pulled him into a hug. He felt hot tears falling onto his legs. 

Oh shit! Donnie was crying. That definitely not made the slider’s already racing heart skip a beat. Noooooooooo… not at all….

“Shh~ It’s ok! You’re ok. I got you! I won't let you die!” Leo repeated the words he himself kept hearing while he was in the coma.

He never told anyone,  especially not to Donnie,  but it’s true. He heard his twin’s voice from beyond the void.

It took a long time before the softshell stopped thrashing around and gave in to the comforting pressure. He was still violently shaking and pale as a ghost,  but now at least he stopped screaming bloody murder.

After a single moment of peace Leo heard his twin gagging.

“Eugh,  boy!” He noted in his head as he quickly grabbed his sword and drew a circle. He pushed his hand through the blue portal and fished for a huge plastic bucket. Just in time before his twin threw up this pink  gunk. It was probably something he ate during his trip to the mall with Mikey. Maybe it was a strawberry smoothie,  or at least the slider assumed it was.

One of his hands  kept his twin stable,  not letting him sway while the other rubbed soothing circles onto the younger one’s neck.

It would have been more efficient rubbing his back,  but the battleshell was  something Leo didn’t dare to touch,  in case if that triggered his twin.

He murmured kind words and encouragement as the genius vomited again and again.

Donnie hated to puke and it didn’t help that what he was throwing up was his own melted guts. Nasty nasty pink Krang flesh. Tasting just as vital as it looked.

This was a nightmare! He felt his inside constantly melt and regenerate. He had no idea how the Krang parts were able to do that when Sister Krang’s body  couldn’t,  but right now it wasn’t his priority to figure out. He was trying to not worsen his condition by panicking, which was a herculean act considering that… km~,  he was melting on the inside!!! Not to mention the pain of his body reconstructing itself. It felt like he’s going to rip apart.

At least Leo wasn’t telling jokes about how he got a Vomitello,  or something stupid like that.

Honestly the only thing that kept him from losing it right now was his dum dum twin. Damn he was doing god’s job right now.

He’ll surely thank him later. Of course not with words. Maybe he’ll hack that game Leo was yapping about a while and gave him all the ultra rare equipment he was drooling for.

But right now he was just way too tired. His eyes felt like lead. His nausea subsided and the pain seemingly was giving him a break. Maybe the vodka was losing it’s effect.

About time,  the large bucket was already full to the brim with vile pink liquid. 

“It’s ok Tello! You’re tired, go to sleep! The great Neon Leon got this!” His twin spoke and despite not being one to obediently do what is told to them the genius didn’t argue.

He just let the  sweet- sweet unconsciousness claim him for a few hours.

Chapter Text

Donnie woke up in his own bed. Shell knows how he got there. His stomach still slightly hurt but nothing compared to the one on the rooftop.

“Sweet. Galileo! The rooftop! Shit! Fucking fuck! Shit!” 

Why is he so dumb?! He messed up big time. Not enough that he showed a pathetic sight to both of his older brothers,  but he even blabbered about the TD’s voice to Leo. And as much as his twin was a dum dum he was pretty sharp when it came to puzzling mysteries together… He can only pray to Pizza Supreme in the skies he didn’t figure it out.

He gingerly sat up,  letting out a tiny hiss as the dull pain stabbed him in the gut.

His head hurt and his cheeks burned with embarrassment as he recalled the childish way he spoke,  the screaming in pain and oh shell,  Raph saw him. His life. Was. Over!

That’s when he heard muffled voices speak on the other side of the wall.

He listened hard and to his surprise he was actually able to make things out.

“Ya doin favoritism Leo!”

“I’m not!”

“ Look Raph ain’ want to argue with ya,  but ya can’ let that just slide! I can’ let that just slide!”

“It was an accident,  an honest mistake.”

“Yea? And yer expect Raph to believe Don drank the entire bottle of vodka by accident?”

“Yes,  because that’s the truth. There was a bottle of fancy flavored mineral water right next to where dad kept his prized vodka. They even have similar bottles. Why is it so hard to believe that the sleepyhead mistook the two?”

(Was there actually mineral water there? Nope. Not until the slider portalled it there.)

“Because as soon as yer taste it yer supposed to feel the difference immediately!”

“DonTron never tasted that water nor vodka, how was he supposed to know?!”

The red brother stayed quiet for a while before,  sighing and admitting defeat: 

“Fine,  ya win this round. But don’ forget Raph’ll keep both of his eyes on Don and next time even ya can’t bail him out.”

The oldest knew it well, it all were lies,  but  he had no proof and trying to beat the slider in a talking match was impossible for the snapper.

“Yes,  yes…” The slider shrugged dismissively.

“Also,  Raph still goin’ to ask him questions. Wanna know if yer little story aligns with his.” The older was trying to outsmart the tactical younger.

“You don’t believe moi? You wound me, hermano!”  Leo pulled out his Oscar winning theatrics. 

Raph passed the drama queen younger, heading to the door. That’s when Donnie heard it:

--. ---     -... .- -.-. -.-     - ---     ... .-.. . . .--.     .--. .-.. .- -.--     .- .-.. --- -. --.

A steady rhythm as Leo’s feet tapped on the ground. Or at least he assumed it was his twin after all unlike TSL, morse code was their and their thing alone.

Either way he obliged to the older twin’s command (only because it was for his own good.) and pretended to be asleep.

What an absolute manipulating devil is his twin. He planned it all. He even somehow calculated when he would wake up?! Unbelievable! But true nonetheless. He brought here Raph so the genius can overhear their conversation and have the “ script” for the lie. 

After all Donnie was super bad at lying,  but he was great when it came to acting. The difference? Laying was mostly spontaneous,  while acting was mostly based on something. Now that's what he needed,  a base, a script to follow.

Aaaaand the slider knows that so well,  immediately opting to  give the softshell the necessary instructions.

The snapper walked into the room,  gently sat down beside the genius and he gently patted his shoulder.

“ Don,  are ya awake? ” He whispered.

“Ugh… I am now…” Donnie answered with pretended grogginess.

“Great great! Can Raph ask ya some questions?”

“It’s awfully early for thay YAWN,  dear bredren,  but go on!”

“ What happened yesterday?”

“Yesterday? You mean after me and Angelo came back from the mall?” The genius asked calmly.

Surely if this question was asked without  Leo supplying him with information he  would probably get a heart attack trying to figure out if the oldest wanted to know about the Kendra business or the drinking one.

“Yes.”

“I don’t see why you are so interested but after we came home I did some urgent stuff then I remembered that fancy flavored water in the pantry so I went to get it. Then it tasted awful.  Then… um… what?! I… can’t remember! Raph what happened to me yesterday?!” The genius acted as if he was distressed.

The red brother looked everywhere but at his younger brother. So,  Leo was not lying? Maybe… But oh shell how is he going to explain the whole drinking situation?!

“You drink yourself stupid!” The second oldest voice chimed in as the slider himself leaned against the door frame.

“I did WHAT?!” Donnie pretended to be surprised.

“Leo didn’ ya said we’re gonna be delicate here?”

“Yep, delicate like  Dr. Delicate touch! - Sorry Mikester I’m stealing your persona ! - If I leave it up to you then it will take forever to let him know.”

The snapper looked back at the softshell who seemed like he was losing his mind,  which was true,  but for a whole different reason. 

Contrary to what he said he remembered all of it and he wished he didn't. Like all those things he said,  the way he talked like a literal 3 years old and the highly possible complete failure of the entire project. Worst idea ever! Even if he never drinks again that would be still too soon.

“Are ya sure ya don’ remember anything?” The oldest asked.

“N- no! Nothing. Did…. Did I do something…khm… objectionable?”

“Umm… well…. never mind! It wasn’ as bad. Yer just got super sick and talked nonsense. That’s…hahaha….all…” Raph talked nervously, clearly uncomfortable to bring up their little argument and that he accused the poor softshell of making Mikey drink too.

“Oh,  I’m going to need more information about that getting sick part. You know, data collection and because I do not appreciate my brain functions in the memory department betraying me.”

“Umm yea,  sure. Well,  Raph wasn’ really there for the sick part,  I just carried you to bed,  so ask Leo he was with ya the whole time….” The red turtle tried to avoid eye contact like the plague as he grabbed the blue brother by his shoulders,  picked him up and put in front of himself like a living shield.

“ Ok,  then umm… have fun data collecting or whatever Raph’s gotta go train,  bye!” With that the snapper was out of the room with sonic speed.

The twins were both sitting at the bed, staring at each other with breath held back until they could no longer hear the oldest footsteps.

And that’s when both of them broke out in laughter.

“Bro,  did you see him?! He was looking so guilty. We are going to hell for this!” Leo laughed.

“Oh,  I thought we were already there!” 

“Stop it!  That line just proves you’re chronically online.” The slider gently nudged his twin shoulder with his own, obviously getting the animated series reference his brother threw at him.

The younger twin chuckled together with the older one for a while. Then as their laughter died down silence overtook the room.

Well, at least until Leo took the initiative to speak again:

“But seriously Dee,  I wanna talk with you about yesterday…the things you said…”

“Wait! You only saved my ass so you can scold me to kingdom come? ” The softsell looked at his brother pretending to be angry.

In reality a lump was firming in the back of the genius’ throat and fear raced through his mind.

Of course Leo had picked up on something! That’s just his luck! Or maybe karma for being a horrid alien.

“No. This is not scolding,  I swear! I just… I guess… [SIGH]... I’m worried ok. You almost gave me a heart attack yesterday on the rooftop. Dee… I really thought for a moment you were dying.”

Well,  his dear twin was not alone with the thought. After all, the softshell himself was convinced that he was dying as well.

Still this was no time for taking things lightly,  well if Leo’s serious expression was anything to go by. Like shell,  he hasn't seen the older twin make that face since the invasion.

And,  ok he would be lying if he said he didn’t know how the slider felt. He felt the exact same when he sat beside his blue brother’s unmoving body,  unable to do more than just watch and pray for deities he doesn’t even believe to let his twin open his eyes.

A tiny petty part of him was pointing and laughing in the back of his mind: “ Ha! Karma bitch! How does it taste to be on the  other end of the deal!”  But his more rational side quickly shut it up.

He felt bad for his twin to put him through that experience. Just one look at his face and you could see that it took a toll on the poor slider. And honestly no one,  deserved to go through that. Sitting beside a sibling holding your breath waiting for them to pass. Being there all terrified to fall asleep,  because you might missed your chance to even  say goodbye by the time you wake up.

Suddenly the genius remembered what Casey said about his future self’s death…. The guilt Leonardo probably felt from being asleep while his twin took his last breath probably never left him.

“Ok note to self: Never ever die in front of Leo…. Or any family member.”

“Aaaand I know you probably don’t want to talk about it but the voice you mentioned…” The slider continued.

Donnie immediately went as stiff as a statue. He might even held his breath as if that could stop the massive landslide if the older twin put the pieces together.

But in case his twin didn’t know anything, he needed to calm down before his  anxiety gave him away.

”Just think about it logically! If he knew I have the TD’s voice in my head…. If he knew I was Krang… He wouldn’t be sitting beside me worried about my mental health!”

Of course. No one would sit idly next to such a monster as him.

His fist painfully clenched gripping the bedsheet as if his life depended on it.

“I just wanna say… That I get it, the little voice in one’s head that tells him “You’re not enough!” or “KYS!” can get pretty loud huh?”

Oh sell,  Leo totally misunderstood him. Thanks Pizza Supreme,  he was talking about a metamorphic voice and not the Krang autopilot thingy. 

Still it didn’t make the conversation feel less uncomfortable. It was just kina if the slider suddenly decided to become the therapist which was the most hypocritical thing he could do. Like seriously,  this guy yapping about mental health?

“Anyways,  what I’m trying to say,  is that next time when you need the voice to shut up,  could you maybe…. Umm… come to me before you decide to get wasted? Maybe we can find a way together? If I have to, I will act as a late night radio for all night if that’s what you need. You know I am always up to give a Comfort speech. So… just promise me that you do that and I get out of your non-existent hair!”

Donnie looked at his twin. The area around the blue turtle’s eyes was deep and dark. Ugly- ugly circles! And he looked pretty damn tired if you ask the genius.That was probably his fault…

Still his brother’s eyes sparkled with determination. One that the softshell couldn’t say no.

“Fi-Neh,  I promise. Happy?”

“Very!” The slider splayed out on the purple themed bed.

“Now am I free to leave,  to do my precious lab work dear bredren?”

“Yes,  yes,  be free,  just don’t overdo it!”

“ Scoff! When did I ever over do something?”

They both looked at each other knowing how big of a bullshit that statement was,  but neither said anything and the younger twin made his way to the door.

He looked back,  only  to see his twin still laying there,  the only movement he made was the steady rise and fall of his chest.

“Get some sleep Nardo! Your eye bags could carry groceries! You know what? I don’t even mind if you just straight up catch some z’s in my bed,  just do it, ok?”

“Aye- aye captain!” Leo did a salute gesture with his hand,  but aside that stayed laying down. 

“Dum-dum!” The softshell mumbled as he walked away.

His twin surely will get some good sleep,  he always liked to climb in the ideally pre heated (Donnie’s body temperature, so actually not so warm.) bed. He also liked the younger twin’s smell on the sheets. It smelled like home and safety,  nothing like that damned prison dimension.

-------------------------------

The day went on normally. Donnie got to tinker with a prototype of a robotic knee brace for his twin which was an utter failure, because he still had problems with figuring out how to power it,  but this was the most normal day since the invasion.

No one bothered him. Raph probably still felt guilty, Mikey…who knows maybe he was angry at the genius and Leo definitely has fallen asleep. So,  maybe the Mikey part was a little concerning,  but he can look into it later.

Now,  he really wants to grace his twin with a solution for his leg problem. After all, lately his twin was nothing but , -annoying- helpful and considerate. And as much as he knew the slider was always one to break bones for his family -especially for his twin- he felt like the blue brother was tad over doing it.  

He couldn’t shake off the feeling of how his twin is trying to be unnaturally helpful. ~ Just like when he sacrificed himself.~ - Great, they are here again!- 

Maybe Leo was trying to make up for the lack of support he can provide  in a fight. Maybe he was trying to find a new role, trying to come to terms with retiring at the age 16.

NOPE!  Donnie won’t let that happen! ~ You can’t fix this.~ 

Agh! Why did this thing have to return?! He kinda started to hope he managed to kill it off with the vodka,  but nooooo.

 Turns out due to the TD mixing with a mutant’s DNA it mutated. Now it has a certain resistance against stuff that would instantly kill the Krang or at least cause permanent damage.

He still melts from the alcohol,  but unlike Krang sister’s cells,  the genius’ are able to regenerate. Great! All that for nothing! He just loves to suffer for no results!

It didn’t take the softshell long to start to spiral. And that’s when the lab door creaked open.

“Ready hermano?” Leo leaned to the doorframe,  two big bags - their sleepover bags - at his feets.

“Depends… Ready for what? Ready for dinner or doing a super dangerous experiment with a lot of explosives included?”

“Haha! Good one!”

“There is a reason I’m the funny one. But seriously, what did you mean previously?”

“DonTron, you gotta be kidding! Did you seriously forget the plans for today?”

The softshell went quiet for a minute, grinding his gears,  trying to remember,  but he failed to recall anything of sort.

“In fact I’m unable to remember any appointment.”

“Uff,  don’t let April hear that! She would be so devastated if she knew you forgot about the girl’s night.”

Girls night? Something sounds familiar… Oh,  right! He remembers now. April made the twins agree to this strictly mandatory,  -so Donnie can “relax” which is just stupid- sleepover.

 Sure, on a good day, he can indeed enjoy a cozy sleepover,  makeovers, tasty snacks and fresh gossip that their big sister provided. But let’s be real,  who ever enjoyed any activity which was mandatory? To be honest,  the genius did not like anything that was mandatory instead of consensual,  so why did April expect him to enjoy himself?

Besides,  no one in their right mind would’ve wanted to go on a sleepover when they are a vile alien. He did trust his twin to understand why he absolutely needed his battleshell on even during the night,  strangely he trusted CJ too, but Cass was an unpredictable factor and there is April. He knows his sister knows him well,  but at the same time he can’t help feeling like she has some sort of ulterior motives. It’s just way too suspicious that she suddenly decided to invite him.

Anyways,  he had no say in the matter so he reluctantly stood up and loudly groaned.

“Well,  I’m as ready as one can be!” The softshell answered deadpan.

“ Great. Hachi- Machi!”

With a swing of one of his swords Leo created a portal and pushed through the two bags. 

A surprised yelp rang from the other side accompanied with some cursing attached to the slider’s precious name. It was music to the blue brother’s non-existent ears.

“After you gentlemen!” The older twin theatrically bowed and gestured to the portal.

“ You’re insufferable…” Donnie noted as he stepped through.

He ended up in the brunette’s living room where the girl herself was trying to haul the huge bags to a less “ in the middle of the room” location.

“Oh hey Dee!” She welcomed the newcomer.

“ Salutation April!”

Then the blue portal snapped shut. Without the slider coming through. Donnie swallowed around a lump in his throat.

“Is Nardo…?” He asked in a voice so small and shaky  that he sounded like a lost child.

April probably noticed how his younger brother’s voice sounded so  scared,  because she immediately switched her tone into a soft one and began to comfort the softshell:

“It’s ok Dee,  Leo just picking up the Caseys,  he’ll be here in a minute. Why don’t you connect my laptop to the TV in the meantime,  so we can watch a movie later?”

Diversion? The brunette was trying to calm the purple turtle by giving him something tech related to do. 

The genius hated this! Why did he freak out from not having his twin here? He hung out with just April a million times before. Besides, he was without his twin for most of the day yesterday. Why did it suddenly matter so much that Leo wasn’t here?

~ Unforeseen event detected!~ ~ Accompanying asset did not reach the destination~ ~ Calculating the possible threat level…~  ~ Calculation complete~ ~Threat level: Unknown~ ~Warning!~ ~ Danger!~ ~Warning!~ ~ Danger!~

Oh for fucks sake! Why did this little shit have to interfere with everything?!

Because he was expecting Leo to follow him and his brother suddenly disappeared from behind the softshell,  this goddamn parasite thinks he was ambushed or something. Aaaaand it’s sounding the alarm in Donnie’s body making him look like he had separation anxiety. Which,  well in a sense was indeed a separation anxiety just not the actual kind.

Then his dum dum twin steps over the portal.

“This way ladies and gentlemen!” Leo leads the duo through the portal with a joking tone.

“ Junior,  tell your father figure if he calls me a lady again,  I’ll tear that dysfunctional leg of his off!” Cassandra half yelled as she stepped through the portal.

“Mom said….” Casey began.

“I could hear her, CJ,  thanks!”  The slider said unamused.

Then as the glowing blue portal snapped shut,  he glanced at his twin. His twin who was sitting on the floor grasping wires like if they were his life line and shaking.

The blue turtle looked at April who gestured  “Go!” with her head.

Leo didn’t answer,  but his actions let the girl know that he “heard” her loud and clear. The slider walked up to his twin and with the most casual,  oblivious of the situation tone known to man he asked:

“So,  what’s the plan? What are we watching tonight hermano?” The older twin howered his hand above his brother’s shoulder,  then as he did not receive any sign of protest he leaned on him.

“Huh? Oh,  yea the movie… What about,  umm… the Atomic Lass special trilogy?”

“Sounds good to me bro!” Leo answered and sat down beside the softshell just close enough so their shoulders could touch.

After that, the rest of the girl’s night -Which honestly was less of a girl’s night since there were more boys there than girls.- went smoothly.

They had a makeover,  April painted everyone’s nails, they put on face masks which Junior tried to eat.- Or at least the cucumbers.-

Then they had a little gossip session talking about Sunita’s latest crush, Cassandra’s little cookie scout girls, some spooky stories that spread across the Hidden city like wildfire and the Casey’s adventures around the globe.

The only person who kept quiet was Donnie. He would give an affirmative Um- hum at best.

It took a while for the big sister to give up on trying to somehow pull the softshell into the conversation.  But after she played her trump card,  asking Donnie’s opinion of a highly contradictory scientific matter and received little to no answer she had to admit defeat and move on to the next activity,  the movie marathon.

They were one and a half movie in when the genius yawned, announced that he’s heading to the kitchen to prepare some coffee and asked if anyone wanted anything from the kitchen.

“I could use some green tea!” Leo piped up.

“Some chips please,  if that’s not too much to ask for!” Junior said.

“ One coffee for me too Purple one!” Cass practically shouted.

“Ok ok,  consider it done!” Donnie said as he typed away on his wrist tech.

The softshell stood beside the coffee machine waiting it to brew an entire batch. He was relishing in the heavenly aroma and the lack of presence.

 Honestly he was at his fucking limit. He didn’t understand why it was so hard to just relax and have fun at a girl’s night as he used to.

Wait,  actually he does have an idea. Maybe the fact that he literally has to stay on guard to not say or do something suspicious all the time? Yea,  surely that wouldn’t mess up anyone’s experience. Not to mention the impending possibility of him getting out of control and accidentally hurting his family.

And that’s when April walked into the kitchen.

“Hey Dee,  need any help?” She said with faux cheeriness.

“No. I’m pretty sure I’m qualified to use a coffee machine by myself. Thank you for asking, now bye!” He tried to shoo away the girl.

“Ok,  first of all rude! Second,  what’s your problem?!”

“ Do I look like I have problems?”

“Yes,  a whole lot of them and everyone is worried about you,  including me. We want to help,  so you better start talking!”

On any other day that would’ve done it. A slightly command sounding order of the oldest Hamato siblings and Donnie usually obliged. But this time it didn’t matter how serious the girl’s tone was,  because he could feel as the tentacles began to push against his battleshell.

“Keep it together!” He told himself internally.

He shouldn’t be near his family! He’s a Krang. He can hurt them!

“I won’t.” He replied shortly,  without all his fancy wording.

He wanted the message if “ Leave me the fuck alone! ”  to reach the girl. He had no idea what got him this worked up,  but he could feel like if  his flesh was boiling just beneath his skin. 

The anger he felt was unreasonable,  but that’s the exact reason why he hated feelings. They did not follow the rules.

“Dee,  just hear me ou-....”

“ NO! This is my fucking problem! It’s none of your business April,  so stop being a pest and leave me be!”

Eugh,  he did it again, didn’t he?

“WHAT?! I’m gonna kick your ASS so HARD, it’s gonna get your mind immediately right! What do you mean by none of MY business?!”

~Tear her apart!~ ~She’s in your way!~ ~How dare she!~ ~Kill her!~ The voice whispered in the softshell’s mind, getting more and more worked up by the minute.

He needs to get away fast. But with April on his case,  that was impossible.

Well,  there is only one way out…

“It,  Means. Exactly. What. I. SAID! Do I need to spell it out? S.T.A.Y  O.U.T  O.F  M.Y.  B.U.S.I.N.E.S.S! I don’t need your help! I’m not a damsel in distress! I can deal with my own issues! SO, FUCK OFF!“ The softshell hissed and snarled at the girl.

Ok,  sure,  he wanted to make April upset so she would leave him and he might not unintentionally  put a hole through her head. But things spiraled out of control somewhere along the line and the part that wanted to protect his older sister now laid dormant in the back of his mind.

~Enemy ~ Danger~ ~Eliminate!~ The commands repeated endlessly and he found himself frozen in a state of pure fury and savage bloodlust.

He had no control and it scared him. He wanted to throw up and cry because he’s going to hurt his sister.

------------------------------------

April stared at his younger brother and best friend in disbelief. Donnie was sure a hisser and made weird noises on a daily basis,  not to mention it wasn’t that strange to hear one of the boys make turtle noises. It happened every once in a while, especially when they were super stressed,  hurt or tired. But this was different. The sheer ferocity of the genius’ snarl and his stiff attack ready posture gave the girl the heebie-jeebies. 

Something was gravely wrong with the softshell,  but she didn’t know what to do about it. Not when her simple offer to lend an ear and helping hand landed her in this mess.

Honestly,  so far April took pride in her ability to be able to handle Donnie at his worst. But this really made her question if she even knew anything about the genius. 

Of course she did! Well she used to… But this version of her younger brother was no longer the one she once knew like the back of her hand.

There was something primal and dangerous about the purple brother. Something with the way the turtle looked at her as a hungry wild wolf would look at a bleeding sheep.

Now April wasn’t the type who got freaked out easily and never in her life did she get scared from her brothers no matter how crazy things got.

Was her child self scared when she ran into oversized humanoid turtles in the sewers she was exploring all alone? Nuh-uh,  if anything she was delighted to have some new friends. 

Was she scared when Mikey threw around cargo ships and skyscrapers? No,  not at all. Actually she was pretty proud of her smallest brother.

Then was she scared when Leo brought swords to sleepowers and waved them around like lightsabers to show off? Nah,  she sometimes got mildly annoyed if the blades went too close to her face or prized property,  but fear? Never!

Was she ever scared of Raph when he grew twice as big as her? When she knew that with a simple misjudgement of strength the snapper could break her in half like a graham cracker? No,  the thought didn’t even occur to her.

Or was she ever scared when Donnie experimented on his own brothers? Or manufactured bombs as a child? Or hacked into top security government servers? Or played around with a fucking flamethrower? Nope,  she didn’t mind.

But as much as she doesn’t want to admit she is terrified from the softshell standing in front of her.

Her blood feels like if it was frozen in her veins. She wants to run,  to escape,  but the genius stands between her and the door and April doesn’t dare to move. The feeling of being a helpless mouse cornered by the much bigger and stronger cat is overpowering. She doesn’t remember being this scared ever. Oh wait she does.

The only time she felt this kind of devastating fear is when they faced the Krang.

Huge monsters nearly indestructible,  with mechanical power suits and the ability to rob away your freedom….. She felt like standing in front of them again. Alone,  surrounded and hopeless.

But in reality it was just a single turtle,  her own brother not even having a weapon out,  just staring at her was giving this murderous aura.

And then Donnie’s hand moved in a way the girl clearly could tell he was about to summon an arsenal to turn her body into a pasta strainer.

That’s when Leo walked in.

“Hey,  how long does it take to make tea?” The slider whined dramatically.

The softshell’s head whipped around with the speed of light and he stared at his twin with a gaze that looked like he was about to murder him the most violent way humanly- well turtlely possible.

Leo didn’t react to the murderous gaze and the brunette wanted to scream at him: “Run!” “ Something is not right with Dee!” “We need a plan!” “ This is dangerous!”

But her mouth refused to open. She had to warn her other brother who was oblivious of the situation.

“Wow bro! You really need that coffee you’re zoning out way too hard!” The blue brother joked as he walked past the softshell and poured the lukewarm beverage into a mug.

He put sugar in it and gave it a good stir before walking back and shoving the mug into his twin’s hand.

The genius’ expression immediately changed. From an apex predator it turned into a deer in the headlights. What was that all about?

The purple turtle’s hands shook violently,  almost making him drop his mug.

“It’s awfully hot in here. I go and get some fresh air!” Donnie spoke on a shaky and small voice the rushed out of the kitchen.

“ Ok,  don’t stay out for too long tho! You don’t wanna catch a cold!” Leo yelled after his twin with the most casual tone ever.

Was this guy blind?! How the hell he did not notice the obvious death threats the softshell was glaring in his way. Unbelievable!

Now it was just Leo and April in the kitchen. The human girl slumped against the kitchen counter as her legs were threatening to buckle under her. In the meantime the slider put some tea leaves into the mugs.

The brunette collected herself and was about to talk to the blue brother but her voice once again got caught in her throat when she saw the faceman turn around.

Leo had his leader serious expression on his face.

That’s when April realised he was in fact not oblivious. Nuh- uh. He knew exactly that his twin was about to tear big sister apart. He knew it and acted like there was nothing wrong,  like if everything was peachy. 

His act didn’t even falter,  not even under that intense hostility Donnie was emitting. Then as soon as the softshell was out of sight his expression changed in a heartbeat.

 And honestly the way this guy was putting up and down expressions as if they were plastic masks he can toss aside any given moment was might even more disturbing than the aggressive genius. With Leo you could never know what he was actually plotting under his cocky smile and nonchalant attitude.

The slider walked up to the teen girl,  looking into her eyes with the most intense stern face she ever saw him make then he spoke with a borderline threat level of seriousness in his tone:

“I brought DonTron here to have fun,  to forget the nerve wracking things going on back at home. Don’t try to pressure him into talking or corner him again! Got it Pril?” 

April nervously gulped. If she didn’t know any better she would think the blue brother was angry at her and being rude,  but in reality the unnerving display clearly came from worry.

Who was he worried about? Was he being overprotective of his twin? Possibly.

Was he scared for his big sister? Again,  it’s very likely.

Or perhaps he was worried for both of them? Yep,  probably that’s it.

Leo knew this could and would happen and the fact he kept quiet about the information he had,  made the girl wonder if he knew even more.

“Yep,  I got it!” The oldest sister tried to act all cool as she answered,  to hide her anxiety.

“Good! Here,  I made you some tea. You look like you need it! Now vamos! Let’s continue the movie!” The slider put his smile and cheery attitude back in place,  gave the mug of tea to the girl,  then exited from the kitchen.

As April was left alone in the room she sank to the ground and stared at her own reflection in the mug.

The twins will be the death of her one day…

----------------------------

Donnie was sitting on the rooftop,  grasping the ceramic mug so hard it was threatening to shatter in his hand. He was shaking and gasping for air. 

The softshell couldn’t calm down. Not after he almost hurt his sister.  And not hurting her wasn’t thanks to him either. If Leo didn’t walk in….

The echo of the thoughts that swirled around his head back in the kitchen was making him sick to the stomach.

Now April is probably either angry at him or scared. Maybe both… 

There goes another one of those few family members who he was yet to mess with. And by mess with,  he meant nearly killing them.

It was definitely not safe to keep him around….

The genius stared into the direction of their home. 

Raph and Mikey were out with Draxum,  helping the goatman with some research regarding the box turtle’s unique mystic power problem.

Their father was somewhere on an indefinite vacation  and the rest of the family was hanging at April’s house.

 So,  with his flight shell,  he could just go in, grab his stuff and vanish from the lives of his precious family.

Right now it would be so easy. No one would try to convince him. He would be gone for good before anyone realises it.

He really should do that. Being here always just inches away from turning inside out,  becoming something he doesn’t even recognises anymore and hurting his loved ones unable to stop was torture. 

It made him feel helpless,  wanting to scratch his skin raw,  break his own skull, throw his brain into the Hudson, rip out all of his rotten Krang bones,  carve his stomach and air out his intestines. 

The anger was just beneath his skin sizzling,  bubbling and scorching him from the inside out. And he couldn’t make it stop.

But Hamato Donatello wasn’t just a Krang nor just a smart guy. He was a selfish coward as well. Because what else could you call someone who knew exactly what he had to do to protect his loved ones,  yet refused to do it?

He has to admit,  as much as he hated Leo’s self sacrificing act, at least  his twin had a spine to follow through with what he thought was the best choice. - Regardless how dumb it actually was.-  

And here he was. His option wasn’t even half as bad as the sliders and yet the softshell could not make that sacrifice for his family. 

This might as well make him into a traitor. Someone who does harm intentionally to his own kind. That was him. There was no one - not even the damn parasite- standing in his way to do the right thing. It was his choice,  because a part of his dum dum brain was hanging for its dear life to the fact, that his brothers are yet to actually chase him away.  

Suddenly the creak of the window dragged him out of his thoughts.

The softshell snapped his head into the direction  of the noise,  only to see Casey Junior,  who was in the process of getting up to the roof to him.

“Hey,  mind if I sit down?” The teen asked politely.

Would he mind? No. Would he be fucking worried he tears the boy into pieces? Absolutely.

But without a sufficient excuse to deny the kid’s request he just gave a jerky nod.

Junior smiled and plopped down beside the genius, very mindful to keep a polite amount of distance between them.

They sat there in silence. Listening as some angry couple was yelling each other’s head off. On a good day,  Donnie would have pulled out a bucket of popcorn - seemingly from thin air.- and proceeded to enjoy the drama. But this was not a good day. Or well night,  to be correct.

They just sat there awkwardly in deafening silence. Now the softshell could relate to his twin who needed to fill any quiet moment with constant yapping. And before he could think twice he opened his mouth to mimic his brother and fill the void: 

“So,  what brings you here Junior? Is the movie not up to your taste?”

“Oh no no! I like that trilogy. Sadly it’s one that I already saw.”

“There were movies in the apocalypse?!”

“ A few. Mainly the ones you saved to a flash drive for a rainy day. But there were a few CDs we dug up here and there,  but if the content survived was always up to luck.”

“Oh… Well at least it wasn’t Leo’s. Future us would’ve been stuck with the fifty version of the same cheesy spanish soap opera or romcom  with the only difference between them that the characters are played by different peoples.”

“Well,  then you might be pleased to hear that through my entire life I only saw one Spanish soap opera which survived on an old CD. Other than that there was none in the apocalypse.”

“The only favor the Krang did for humanity…” Donnie joked only realising later how it might've been wiser to not say that.

“Khm~ So,  if not the choice of media, what brought you here then?” The genius tried to quickly switch the topic. 

“I…I don’t even know. I guess I just felt out of place. I mean,  don’t misunderstand me! I love it here and everyone is so kind and you guys are my family. But sometimes I miss my timeline.” The boy stared at the night sky and for a moment he looked way older than he actually was.

“It’s stupid I know… I have everything I could wish for . Everyone is safe and sound. I’m living the dream my Sensei and the rest of your future selves couldn't. And yet here I am missing the constant looming sense of doom and starvation. Isn’t that messed up? And I can’t help but think, am I wrong to feel that way? Maybe I’m just broken…”

The softshell could  completely relate. He was missing himself. If that wasn’t messed up,  then what is it?! Especially since it was utterly selfish,  because if this did not happen with him, then -because of the butterfly effect -they might have failed to stop the apocalypse. Or even if they stopped it,  he would’ve been way too injured and tired to do the life saving surgery on his twin. As much as he hates to admit it,  back then  if he wasn’t already Krangified they would’ve lost Leo on the surgical table.

And then one of those rare occurrences happened when he felt a burning need to comfort someone.Not to mention that someone was CJ.  He never imagined before that he would take this much  of a liking to the kid.

“Well,  my opinion might not matter to you,  but if you ask me I wouldn’t say you’re broken.”

That got the teen’s attention  Casey stared at him with just as much disbelief as much the softshell himself was in,  upon hearing his own voice speaking so kindly. It’s not like he didn’t used to consider himself kind…. But that was  before the whole Krang thing. Honestly, being kind has been a struggle since that.

And yet it came so natural when it came to Junior. The kid somehow managed to weasel his way inside the genius’ heart. Maybe because he was an echo of his twin. Whenever he looked at the future boy he couldn't help but see the mammersim and bad coping mechanisms of Leo. And that made him extremely fond of the boy, once he got over the whole “He trapped my twin in a Prison Dimension with a homicidal alien!” part.

“You grew up in the apocalypse. As bad as it probably was, there was everything you loved as well. The people who raised you,  the places you liked and surely you have some fond memories. No one can and will blame you for missing your home. Besides,  everyone misses things they are not supposed to,  sometimes.”

Well looks like all those sessions with Dr. Feelings are paying off. The softshell never thought he would be able to talk this openly with anyone who’s not his twin.

“Everyone?” Casey asked.

“Yes,  everyone.”

“Even you?”

“Even me.”

“Like what?”

“ Elaborate on that?”

“What are you missing that you are not supposed to?”

Ough,  sweet Galileo,  why does this kid have to be so much like Leo?! He seems to always latch onto those small details Donnie is trying to avoid. 

Now what he should do? He doesn't wanna ruin this for Junior,  but at the same time he can’t just explain he’s missing himself. Not without revealing his secret.

And he’s criminally bad at winging up a lie. 

Hmmm,  maybe he should tell a truth. A different truth from his own,  but not less honest.

“Sigh! Fine. But if you dare to tell this to Nardo,  I’m going to disintegrate you with a laser,  got it?”

The teen nodded with a smile,  clearly not taken aback by the threat. He probably knew Donnie way too well to feel uncomfortable by his never followed through threats.

“I miss the way Nardo was. And I’m not even supposed to be the one missing it. He’s the one who struggles to walk, not me. Still,  sometimes I think I’m more upset over the fact that he is.”

“Oh,  that’s so like you.”

“What?! What does that supposed to mean Junior?!”

“Well,  when Sensei lost his arm,  Master Donatello was more upset than Sensei himself. He immediately wanted to fix it and cursed our lack of resources for not being able to.”

“Yea,  ok,  fine! I admit that does sound like something I might do.”

The teen giggled. He looked lightyears happier than minutes ago.

“You really like to talk about your timeline huh?”

“I guess, I do. But only about good memories…”

Oh right. They never really ask CJ about good things that happened in the apocalypse. It is always,  ”How did I die?” “You eat rats?” “What happened with Pops?” and other grim questions. The softshell realised. 

“Well,  I could use some background noise….” Donnie noted.

“You mean…?”

“Yes,  this is a once in a lifetime chance Junior,  you better take it!”

The teen boy didn’t really need that encouragement as he immediately began to dump the happy side of the apocalypse lore.

He talked about when Master Donatello built a sentient karaoke machine to terrorise the Krang. 

Or how Master Michelangelo once fought off an entire pack of Krang hounds all by himself just to get some damned eggs so he could make a birthday cake for him.  

There was that time when they held Lair- or well Base games which were won by Commander O’neil?!

They salvaged some soap opera CDs, sending Master Donatello into a rage.

Then about how he was allowed to attend twin nights and snuggle between the softshell and the slider. He even got to sleep on his Donnie's back?!

And of course he talked about his room at their base. His room that had a turtle shaped indent on the wall.

“ Hold your horses! Did you said there was a turtle shaped indent on the wall?”

“Yea,  I don’t know what made it tho. It was there when we moved in. It was pretty cute, it looked like a little box turtle according to Master Michelangelo.”

“Casey Jones Junior,  you need to tell me where exactly this base was!” The genius grabbed CJ’s shoulders and shook him.

“Um,  well I don’t really know… But Sensei would always mention how it’s ironic that it was close to the Statue of Liberty. Is that any help?”

“Pizza Supreme in the skies,  there is no doubt!” 

Casey looked a bit confused by the sudden outburst,  but he wasn’t taken aback the slightest. He was used to see a Donnie do that when he had a breakthrough.

“What is it?”

“That place already exists Junior!”

“ SAY WHAT?!” The teen squeaked.

“It’s… it’s my hidden laboratory. The turtle indent on the wall is the result of one of my experiments that needed a ….bit more of… calibration.”

“Really? I… I could go home?” CJ’s eyes filled with tears and sparkled with hope.

And the softshell did not expect that this will be such a big deal. Honestly he would’ve liked if his secret hiding place remained well….secret. 

It was a brother free zone. One where he could do his dangerous or morally unacceptable projects. Ooor a place to just hang out in peace in case he felt like he wanted to murder his brothers. 

But he’d be damned if he won’t take the future boy there,  now that he’s looking like a sobbing wet cat.

Well,  at least he knows that the teen is actually Leo level of good at keeping secrets. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

“Very,  well. I will show you,  but you must swear you will treat this as a top secret! You can’t tell anyone,  not even Leo. Especially not Leo!”

The genius started the engine of his flight shell,  the wing parts unfolding and the rotors roaring loudly. He was lifted into the air hovering just a bit beside the rooftop.

The purple turtle puled out his tech bo,  grabbed it with both hands  and held it as if it was a monkey bar with plenty of space for the teen to grab on.

“Do you think you can hang on Junior?” Donnie asked with slight sarcasm in his tone.

“Been there,  done that when I was just 6.” The kid answered smugly.

“Well,  then let’s hope you didn’t get rusty. It would be an epic fail if you couldn’t do something a 6 year old could…”The softshell teased.

CJ looked at him determined as he grabbed onto the monkey bar and dangled himself above the 6 story high urban abyss.

The genius flew across the skies,  carrying the teen who gasped here and there in awe of the breathtaking city lights. It was even more beautiful seeing it from a bird eye view than from random rooftops. 

It took about 10 minutes or so before the genius landed gently, letting the boy’s feets to reach the ground as if they were the landing gear of an airplane.

“Where are we?” Junior asked.

“Right where we need to.” Came the answer.

They were near the Statue of Liberty. The magnificent piece of art standing there like some guardian angel.

The two of them were standing on a concrete sidewalk. The entire thing was one long smooth concrete strip. Except at the square they stood on. There the concrete was broken into a slab. 

That was awfully familiar for the child soldier.

Donnie crouched down,  typing something on his gauntlet,  before the handcuff opened with a hiss and a long,  cruciform key without a bow or head rolled out from a tiny secret compartment.

The turtle pushed the key into one of the cracks and twisted it.

CJ immediately could hear as gears turned,  then  the ground shook as the massive slab was lifted and revealed a secret passageway with stairs leading into the depth.

“The gate…” Casey whispered,  his voice sounding both happy and haunted.

“Well,  technically it’s more of a trap door than a gate…but you know what? Never mind,  just go!”

  The genius decided against keeping an entire lecture about the types of doors and gates. Maybe some other time.

Future boy ran down the pitch black stairs,  with familiarity one only gained by walking up and down on them a million times.

The softshell slowly made his way down,  following CJ. But before he could catch up he heard the boy gasp.

“It’s… it’s… home….” Casey spoke in a small voice.

Donnie finally reached the bottom of the stairs and stood in the long hallway.It stretched towards east and west,  the former abruptly ending in a dead end while the latter opened up into a big room. Right across the stairway on the other side was a door that led to Donnie’s storage room.

The teen boy seemed content but melancholic at the same time.

“The base used to be bigger…  The east tunnel was going on and on for what felt like an eternity,  branching into a maze of rooms and hallways.” Junior supplied.

“We probably expanded it  after  the apocalypse. It’s not that hard to keep digging on the east side.” 

The teen nodded as he turned around and headed towards the room on the west side. He opened the door to find an almost empty room. The only thing that inhabited the place was a square desk with a blanket and heaters - A kotatsu if his memory serves him well.-  and the oh so familiar turtle shaped indent.

Donnie couldn’t help but catch the slight disappointment on the kid’s face. He might’ve been bad at reading emotions most of the time,  but Junior just happened to display the same kind of expressions his twin would,  essentially making it easy for the purple turtle to read him.

“It’s a bit empty for your liking huh? I only use this room when I do some crazy genius experiment,  but since the invasion,  I didn’t have the time to do those…”  The softshell explains it,  not even really understanding why he felt the  need to.

“Yea,  but the kotatsu was always there…right in the middle of the room,  and there at the north-east corner was a short cupboard which no longer had doors. On top of that was a microwave and on top of the microwave was a coffee machine. Well at least in the early days when my room also served as the living room.” Casey spoke fondly and with a gaze oh so distant.

And shell the kid knew how to explain what was where. The genius could almost see it.

“In the south-east corner was a mini fridge with a TV and CD player on top of it. Oh and there was this old rug and an X box with two controllers and a few games. We sit on that rug a lot to play.” The teen continued.

And oh wow,  gaming in the apocalypse… It’s kinda weird to hear how people still lived relatively normal when they were not in immediate danger.

“The south wall was fully covered by a big closet where we kept clothes,  gears,  toys,  weapons, even blankets. Then a few meters before the west wall was a curtain and behind it was my bed right under the turtle indent. It was actually a camping stretcher,  but never slept better than on that thing….” Casey tailed off.

“I see it so vividly in front of myself,  but it’s just not here….” The human spoke quietly, his voice filled with sorrow.

That’s when Donnie felt an electrical zapp running through his spine. It didn’t hurt but it made him restless and fidgety,  itching with the need to do something.

Suddenly the softshell looked down his hand which was enveloped into a beautiful purple glow. It was his ninpo,  urging him to use it.

 For what? The answer was clear… For Casey. 

The genius stood there baffled for a while. His ninpo was behaving erratically to say the least. It usually only appeared when he was trying to murder  or seriously hurt someone. He’s pretty sure that’s not the intended use of it.

But other times,  he couldn’t even muster up as much as a single spark.

However now,  for the first time in a long while he felt his ninpo wanting him to do something that’s not destructive.

And before he even registered his hand moved and he created the cupboard, the microwave and the coffee machine in the corner.

“Is that…?” Junior asked surprised.

“Exactly what it looks like. Apparently….” The softshell answered just as surprised by his creation as the teen boy.

“I thought you only can make tech stuff,  not furniture…I’m surprised.”

“ You and me both Junior.”

The genius was baffled to see purple translucent objects being created with his ninpo . But he quickly got over the shock and became curious.

How much could he do? How long could he keep them solid? Could he furnish an entire room? How could he make use of this power in the future?

Only one way to get answers.

The purple turtle turned towards the other corner, his markings glowing brightly and a beautiful purple light surrounded him. 

The ninpo rushed into the corner then slid across the wall, creating the previously mentioned furniture along the way.  The it bounced off the other corner,  jumping up and down  between the floor and the ceiling before splattering on the ground creating the stretcher and the  curtains.

Now the entire room looked just the way Casey remembered it and finally Donnie’s restlessness settled.

What was that all about? 

In the meantime CJ began to touch the solid projections. He was amazed and overjoyed. He ran his hand across every single object,  until he reached his stretcher. The boy was looking at it longingly. 

“You can if you want to…” The softshell said,  clearly realizing that the boy would’ve liked to lay down on his past future bed.

“Really?! Thank you so much!” Casey immediately threw himself onto the bed.

The genius couldn’t help but smile just a little bit. It was nice knowing that he still was able to do good things and he wasn’t just an evil Krang.

He twirled his finger around in the air and quickly created a pillow projection,  which the teen accepted gleefully and snuggled with it.

The softshell stepped out of the room,  wanting to let the child soldier have his moment before they needed to head home.

CJ really appreciated the thoughtfulness of his unc- Donnie. Even if it was a bit hauntingly see through,  it was still the room he grew up in. 

The room where his Masters slept on the floor on futons,  giving up the only stretcher for the boy.

The room where they spent most of their freetime snuggled under the kotatsu eating canned food. 

The room where sometimes Casey fell asleep in the faintly glowing light of the TV screen and the sound of the twins brickening over a Mario game.

And if he closed his eyes, he could forget how this all way just an illusion,  an echo of his memory.

He could hear the faint buzzing off machines and the hiss off the coffee maker. He could almost smell the aroma of freshly brewed coffee which in the past often signed that it  was either god awful late or early and Casey didn’t need to get up just jet. 

And before the teen boy could realise his entire body went lax and his thoughts drifted into sleep.

By the time the softshell got back in the room Casye was out cold.

“Junior! I know this must be very comfortable,  but I don’t think I can keep this room furnished any longer and we should head home. It’s almost sunrise.”

The boy didn’t stir.

“Junior!” Donnie said with a bit more power put into his voice.

Still nothing.

“ Casey! “ He poked the back of the  future boy.

Nope,  not a single sign of waking up.

 “CASEY JONES JUNIOR!” The softshell yelled as he shook the teen by his shoulders,  only earning a loud snore.

“Pizza Supreme,  this guy could sleep through the end of the world! What am I gonna do with him now?” The genius grumbled to himself.

For a while he just looked at CJ,  then he sighted:

“Fine…” 

The purple turtle gently scooped up the human boy as he would scoop up Mikey and began to carry him out of the bunker.

As he stepped out of the room he gave one last glance to the place. Then all the furniture that was the echo of a lost boy’s memory disintegrated into purple fairy dust. A death fit for the illusion it was. Because that’s what it was,  a fever dream, a mirage chased by a kid who longed for a place that's no longer and will never exist.

And the genius couldn’t help but feel bad for deceiving the poor boy like this. For giving him a dream just to take it away.

Maybe he was just cruel,  even when he thought he wasn’t.

As soon as he closed the secret door of his hiding place, Donnie put his flight shell into silent mode and flew across the night sky. It didn’t take long to reach April’s apartment and land on her balcony.  

The window was left open a crack,  waiting for his return. He pushed it  in and hesitantly stepped inside. He was rather scared to face the aftermath of that argument he had with  his human sister, before excusing himself to get some fresh air and disappeared for hours.

It was dark inside,  with only the light from the tv illuminating the living room. But there was no noise. The third  movie was playing, muted and with subtitles on.

That gave a bit of hope to the genius, as it usually meant that most of the family was out cold and the last one or two people awake was trying to be mindful of the sleepers.

He silently stepped closer to take a look.

Thankfully the brunette was slumbering while cuddling  Cass as if she was a big teddy bear.

So,  maybe,  just maybe the softshell doesn’t have to get into another catastrophic argument.

Suddenly he felt watched. He looked around and lo and behold his mismatched red and blue eyes met with the same mismatched ones just switched. Those were his twin’s eyes.

The slider stared at him,  clearly noticing the affectionate way the younger twin princess carried Junior. The boy was probably having the best dream cradled in his uncle's arms leaning against his plastron,  probably listening to the music of his heartbeat. 

It was a great tune. Leo had to admit. After all, it put him to sleep so many times.

The next thing Donnie saw was his twin hand signing him : Bring him here!

The purple turtle obliged and took the sleeping teen to Leo who grabbed a pillow,  put it in his lap and patted it, signing for the genius to put him down there.

The softshell gently laid Casey  down with his head in the slider’s lap.

“Mmmmmm…Sensei….” The teen mumbled half asleep.

“Shh… It’s alright Junior, I'm here. You’re safe. You can keep sleeping.” The blue turtle whispered to the teen.

CJ rolled towards the younger version of his father and buried his nose into the turtle’s plastron before falling back to sleep.

Leo gently swiped away a loose strand of hair from the boy’s face, smiling at the kid. His eyes shining with pride and love only a father could harbour.

Times like this made the genius question if Casey accidentally brought the soul of his father with him,  who occasionally possessed his twin.

Anyways he should go! A vile creature like him does not belong in this wholesome scene.

Maybe he could sleep leaning onto the kitchen table. It’s not like he wasn’t used to falling asleep on a desk.Or maybe he should just go home. That way his presence won’t be bothering April in the morning.

But of course his dum dum golden hearted twin had other plans. 

He grabbed Donnie’s wrist with his free hand, without hesitation.

“ Don’t be a jerk Dee! Come on, stay with me! ” The slider whispered.

“I don’t really…”

‘Listen here DonTron if you don’t put your sorry ass down I will argue with you on this and then everyone will wake up! Is that what you want?”

“GASP! Are you threatening me?!”

“Sure,  if that’s what it takes to make you stay…”

The genius knew his twin’s words were not empty threats so he settled down beside him.

They sat there quietly. The movie is long forgotten.

“I talked with April…” Leo spoke,  immediately getting the younger twin’s attention.

“She’s not mad and won’t try to make you talk again.” 

That was a huge relief. He really needs to thank all this to his twin one day.

He leaned his head onto Leo’s shoulder,  tiredness clearly getting a hold of him.

“You know….I don’t know what’s going on with you….” The slider began.

Oh no! If Leo is about to ask him about his secret he’s gonna freak out.

“ But you can't keep this up much longer. Not even with my help…”

“I know…” The softshell replied sadly,  screwing his eyes shut like if that could help chase away the anguish he was in.

“Then it’s alright…” 

The older twin did not speak after that he just absentmindedly rubbed circles onto CJ’s back and stared at the soon ending movie.

And that little piece of normalcy calmed the softshell. It didn’t take long till he gave himself up to the sweet sweet rest.

Chapter Text

Three days passed since the  “Girls night”.The Caseys went back to their hotel in Egypt and as promised April did not bring up  that very uncomfortable argument.

Things weren’t great to be honest but weren’t bad either. It was just barely bearable. Well,  with a sane mind,  that Donnie often doubted he still possessed.

The signs that things were getting worse and worse were bright and visible like a neon sign.

Raph would do anything to avoid the softshell. Maybe the guy had the best intentions… Maybe he just wanted to avoid snapping at the genius or the opposite. But the way the snapper would always weasel out of a room when the purple turtle arrived left an unpleasant taste in Donnie’s mouth.

It made him wonder what if his big brother subconsciously knew he was Krang. It wouldn't be that big of a surprise after all the guy was the one who got Krangified first. Maybe he knew… Maybe not.

April and Mikey desperately tried to act normal around the genius. But he would always notice how they were walking on eggshells around him,  trying their best to not push any of his buttons.

Ironically that actually was pushing several of his buttons,  but he choked his feelings down.

They probably been already kida scared from him. Which was reasonable and well based,  but it never stopped hurting the softshell.

Well,  at least they were trying to act like he wasn’t the problem. That was kind of them.

The only one who persistently kept ignoring all blaring alarms going off in the purple turtle’s presence was Leo. He seemingly didn’t give a crap about what was going on with his twin. Well not in a sense that he was unnerved by anything weird the genius did.

A part of Donnie was put to ease knowing that it was still “Me and you against the world!” with his twin,  but the other never ceased to be worried about what will happen when he loses control and this idiot decides that he keeps trusting his twin till that gets him killed. Killed by the softshell own hands or well tentacles.

Donnie hunched over his desk. He’s been playing this part for way too long. Seven months of secrets and disturbing finds about his new biology and psychology have really taken their toll on the genius. And not just him,  but his whole family was suffering.

He was like a poison,  slowly separating the Hamatos. They no longer spent that much - if any time all together and as far as he was aware his family wasn’t really hanging out with each other even if the softshell was not included.

This was all his fault. And as much as he hated to admit it his twin was right.

Leo’s words: “You can't keep this up much longer.” kept echoing in his brain,  looming over him like a sense of impending doom.

He has to come clean! Confess everything. His brothers deserved that much.

Except what will he tell them?! And no he was not concerned about the way he should phrase things. The content was lacking.

Whatever he would say it would definitely raise questions. Ones he himself would love to have answers,  but he doesn't have them. All he knows is that he’s 70℅ Krang,  he seemingly aggressive on a genetic level,  needs to consume information to not get brain melt,  has tentacles and an annoying voice in his head which is the pain of his existence. Also alcohol is a no go for him.

Neither of those are that useful. And he furiously hates not to have the answers. He hates it! Hates it ! Hates it! 

Suddenly he feels as his fingers sink into his titanium table. That was an odd sensation to say the least. Is this some sort of sensory hallucination?!

He looks down and his blood runs cold. His fingers are fully lodged into the thick metal.

Terrified,  he pulls his digits out of the furniture,  only to get shocked by a second time. His fingers were no longer looking like if they were his.

Metal claws,  looking the spitting image of Prime’s….

The softshell tore his gaze away from the sickening state of his hand and stared at the holes in his table. They were cut clean,  almost looking like if a hot knife poked holes into butter. And oh,  that was not less terrifying than the claws themselves.

The genius knew the krang could change their body’s consistency. It was clear even before he found out he was krang. After all, he knew about how one of those soft looking fleshy appendages suddenly turned solid and pierced Raph’s shell. But to learn that the ability went so much beyond just simply hardening the flesh and it actually could turn into metal - one that naturally did not exist on earth .- was freaking him out.

His thoughts were spinning around like clothes in the washing machine and so did the room. He felt almost as if he was drunk again. He wanted to throw up,  he wanted to scream,  he wanted to grab a knife and just chopp of that monstrosity.

The softshell’s lungs burned as if he had inhaled acid,  by the time he managed to get his breathing under control. He stared at his hand. His horrible- horrible hand. Emotions being numb from the tiredness that came over him.

He tried to flex his hand,  he tried to relax it,  jerk it and concentrate really hard on the image of his regular green hand…. Nothing made it go away.

The genius frustratedly groaned as he sunk back into his chair staring up to a monitor that was high on the wall above his desk.

He closed his eyes and really hoped it’s not permanent. That he finds a way to turn those claws back into his hand.

But a more pessimistic- or maybe realist side of him was mentally mocking him: You didn’t find answers nor solutions for the rest. Why would you find one for  this one?

And that was true. He was stuck with his research. He hit a major wall. His own perception to name it.

Usually when he experimented on himself or experienced something new,  he wasn’t in the right mind to take notes for later. Oftentimes he wasn’t even sure if half of what he felt and remembered had actually happened or it was just his brain making things up.

 For example the time he got drunk. He definitely sustained damage,  but how much was a mystery.  He remembers feeling like he was about to die,  but later when he sobered up and ran some tests the damage didn't seem that severe. And that ended up making him wonder if he was overreacting in his drunken haze or his regeneration was way faster than he thought.

None of that matters tho. Not right now! He has to come clean  but first he needs answers. He just has to figure out where to find them. It’s not like he could walk up to a Krang and ask them about….

“Sweet Galileo,  that’s it!”

The softshell almost fell off his chair.

There was a Krang left on earth. And she was perfectly detained. A good condition for the purple turtle.

The EFP,  the government organization that captured the ugly chewing gum alien . They certainly did experimentation on her and documented it well. Donnie could just hack into their system and get the files for himself. And even if for some stupid reason they did not do any experiments and have no documents for the genius or don’t have enough information,  he could still get the address of their secret facility and pay a visit to Krang bitch to milk her for some answers.

It’s not like he never hacked them. Although he has to admit,  they probably had a programmer or two that had a decent head on their shoulders and was very familiar with advanced cyber security,  because the softshell actually had to work to get inside their network. Nothing that couldn’t be done for a genius such as himself,  but it was surprisingly tough. Not to mention that with the alien in their possession their funds were probably doubled and they might’ve found some more talented humans to try to keep out the nosy hacker that snooped around about half a year ago.

Well,  it didn’t matter. No one can outclass Hamato Donatello!

The purple turtle immediately got to it. He broke through the first and second line of defense very easily but the third one was an AI system that kept constantly updating.

Hours later and he still wasn’t even a step closer to get through that particular firewall.

“UGH!” He groaned as he grew frustrated.

He should be able to surpass Artificial intelligence. His natural genius is far superior. Except unlike the AI it has a limitation. The milliseconds the AI beats him to succeeding is the ones it gains from the miniscule lag between his superior brain giving the command to his hand to move and that order actually reaching his limb.

Usually even this wouldn’t be that big of a problem. After all the AI is only one and Donnie clearly has two hands to make up for the time he loses. Except he doesn’t.

The softshell looks at his horrific metallic claws masquerading as a hand. It was too sharp and big to handle the keyboard. Why does his body keep betraying him?! Why is he damned to suffer like this?! He hates it! He hates it! And so tempted to just cut the repulsing thing off.

“You would still have just one hand to type and it’s kinda counter productive!” He tells himself just to appease the violent urge to destroy his mortal vessel.

Still that does not stop him from getting more and more frustrated,  letting it bubble and boil over. Then he snaps.

He swipes off the keyboard in a fit of rage. It crashes into the wall,  keys flying off and it clatters on the ground.

Donnie heaves heavily,  his eyes filled with tears,  he’s unwilling to let fall as his entire body shakes. He grinds his teeths,  wanting to scream for the millionth time this day.

His anger settles a bit,  so he slumps back into his chair watching the holes and the empty space his keyboard used to be with an utterly defeated look. He just wanna curl up and wish the world away! This is torture! Maybe not the physical kind,  but torture nonetheless.

He lays on his desk and closes his eyes. From the outside he probably looks like he’s sleeping peacefully when in reality it’s quite the opposite.

His body is very still,  but his thoughts are racing.  Somewhere in the back of his mind a childish  part of him cries and wails for his twin to make this stop to make things feel alright because he’s too overwhelmed. He doesn’t put a stop to the selfish child’s cries. Donnie just listens to it as it grows more and more devastated and desperate.  He’s too tired to stop it anymore. Suddenly he remembers something.

That time he got his shell stitched by his twin. He couldn’t sleep. It hurt and it was uncomfortable and he was scared. - Not from Raph,  who caused the injury by accident. Honestly,  he doesn’t even know what he was scared from. He just was.- With Raph still licking his own emotional wounds of hurting a brother and Mikey being just a baby,  the choice where he will go for comfort was clear.

Leo was so gentle,  so kind as he rubbed soothing circles onto his neck and shoulders.

It's strange,  really. The slider is all inflated ego,  shit eating grins, show off,  a diva, armed with annoying pranks and puns to endlessly tease everyone around him….But beneath off all that,  once the situation grows serious enough to drop the facade,  lays something out of this world. So much care and love Donnie can hardly imagine it fitting into his brother’s body. Heck,  he’s sure it could even compete with Raph’s size.

Leo shows this so much and yet it goes unnoticed every time.

Like when Raph went savage the first time. The blue brother was the one who jumped at the snapper hugging and comforting him. He didn’t seem scared,  not for a single moment. Not even after Raph tore out pipes with his bare hands and threw it at them.

Or that time when little Mikey got the flu and he was miserable and scared,  but no one dared to give him the comfort he needed,  because everyone dreaded catching the virus.

Well except Leo who against his own better judgement slept cuddling with the box turtle.( Of course the dum- dum got sick too.)

Or how the older twin always been there to help the softshell out with whatever autism threw at him. Back then they didn’t even know what autism was or that Donnie had it. Let alone how to handle it.

But the slider was always there to figure things out or just for moral support.

When he first experienced going nonverbal and freaked out,  Leo was there to find another way to communicate. When he got overstimulated by lights or sounds Leo always noticed and turned everything down. When he would get a shutdown his small twin would sit beside him patiently waiting for him to be ready. When food turned out to be a sensory nightmare,  Leo helped find all the safe foods Donnie still eats today.

The slider was never the one who looked like a big brother at first glance. He was unserious and just a funny guy. But by watching very closely (Which Donnie was really good in.) the genius learned to see… Leo was not less of a big brother than Raph.

Then little by little,  one tiny gesture after another done by the blue brother and before he knew a childish part of his brain would always cry out for big brother Leo when he faced with problems he couldn’t fix.

Of course he would rather die than admit any of this,  let alone call his twin big brother. But this part of him always persisted…

Even now,  this part of him was begging Donnie to just go to Leo. To confess everything,  to put down his heavy load. Naively, it believed the slider could fix this.

Of course the realist side of the softshell knew very well how revealing his… condition would end. After all he was the very thing now that tortured his twin in the Prison Dimension. Even Leo wouldn’t be able to just ignore that right?

The softshell opened his eyes,  his vision was fuzzy like if he pressed his hands too hard on them. He blinked,  only to become even more confused.

In front of him he saw the wall. Not the wall with his screens but the opposite one. He was facing his screens when he laid his head down,  so why is he staring at the other side of his room? Not to mention that he was standing. Standing and did not remember getting up.

“Ok… This is freaky,  but there is surely a perfectly scientific explanation!” He tried to calm himself.

He needs to take a closer look…His vision suddenly went black. Then  as he gained back his sight he saw the room from a different angle once again.

“What the….”

His train of thought abruptly got cut as he noticed something.

Right now,  he was seeing the desk and on the desk laid….him?!

He….he was…was there?! How?! When he was here too? How can he be at both places? Wait a minute, where  exactly was here to begin with?!

The genius looked around and found himself in an endless black void with no visible spatial boundaries.

“Great! I really hope it’s not Nardo pranking me by teleporting me to the back rooms…” The softshell noted annoyedly.

But ok,  this could not be the backroom because he had that little window that showed him his own form sleeping. - He’s really hoping he’s sleeping and not dead….-

“Ok, ok. Everything Is going to be alright as long as I don’t freak out!”

Wait! He wasn’t freaking out. And that was strange,  because anyone with a sane mind would lose their composure if they suddenly came into a void with a little square showing their own motionless body.

The purple turtle tried to concentrate on his senses and to his surprise he felt…nothing.

“Impossible!”

And yet it was true. His body felt light as if he was floating, the weight of his battle shell and the pain in his shoulders caused  by it was gone. He couldn’t feel that taste the tentacles bombarded his brain with nor the discomfort of them pulling his sensitive skin. And as his hand clenched into a fist he couldn’t feel the claws.

Donnie quickly lifted his hand into his field of vision. That was another shocking surprise.

His hand was purple,  and see through as Raph’s ninpo projections.

Ok,  that settles it,  he’s currently some sort of astral or at least ninpo projection.- Hopefully he’s not a ghost, because if he is,  the afterlife is rather dull.-

He took a step back and his heel bumped into something. He couldn’t quite tell what it was. It felt kinda like if it was a silk curtain,  or a waterfall and it was just a little bit of a thick electric charge in the air at the same time. It was very abstract.

The purple turtle turned around to see what he bumped into. Behind him was a wall. Oddy see through and numbers vertically flow down on it as if it was a river. A river of ones and zeroes. Binary code.

“Sweet. Galileo. I. Am. In. The. System!”

Donnie gently inserted his hand into the wall. The numbers flowing through his fingers like sand or water. It was the strangest experience the softshell ever had.

Now he turned his attention back to the little window,  quickly realizing from the  angle of the view that he was actually looking through one of the security cameras he installed in the lab.

He looked at the left corner,  finding a little text saying: cam.L02.

Ok,  definitely his security camera,  which means the blackout he experienced was the result of switching between cameras as he first saw himself from a different perspective.

Curious if he could interact with the screen in front of him he reached out to touch it. His hand slipped through the window- well it would be more accurate to call it projection.

Not a touch- screen then. Still,  the softshell made the movement one does when they are trying to zoom on their phone.

Lo and behold the camera focused onto the purple turtle’s actual body.

That means although he can not directly touch things, he still can control this realm as if it was a phone or tablet.

That’s cool,  until it’s not because now the genius could see the state of the outside world.

His battle shell was in pieces on the floor,  all four of his Krang appendages were out and crawled inside his tech intertwining with the wiring inside.

How the shell, he didn’t think about that?! The Techno Drone was literally a living machine. Of course it was able to connect and access other techs. And now that Donnie was Krang it’s not a surprise he could do that.

Well at least he knows that now.

“Well,  I veni vidi. -The vici part can wait till I lose my mind to Krangish urges.- It’s time to go home! - Or well back in my body.-”

Except he had no idea how. He certainly needs to cut the connection which probably means pulling his disgusting appendages out of his precious tech.

Buuuuut,  he has no control over his body as of now.

And then there is that. His burning scientific curiosity.

He’s literally in a computer,  do you expect him to not want to explore it?! Sweet Galileo, he does. Every fiber in his body - well projection,or mind or whatever he is right now- screams at him to go on and oh well…. It couldn’t hurt, right?

So Donnie takes a few uncertain steps towards the number waterfall. As he steps under it, pictures begin to flash in front of his eyes. The flow of data almost feels like those horrible episodes when the TD force feeds his brain with its own memories.

Violent flashes, barely decipherable for someone who has a flesh brain and not a computer. But finally the softshell manages to snap out from the first shock of the sea of information and he grabs onto one of the flowing pictures.It was a server address displayed in his palm.

The genius stared at the numbers. They were very familiar.

“Pizza Supreme, this is the Purple Dragon’s main server address! I totally forgot I even had this in the first place.”

He kept looking at the address and an evil plan began to make itself to his consciousness.

“Hmm…why not pay a kind visit to Kendra? She deserves that much after what she tried to do last time…”

The purple turtle closed his eyes and envisioned  a control panel in front of him. It took little to none time for the thing to form.

It had the simplest design ever. Just a simple slider with the text Disconnect and Connect on its two ends.

Donnie almost got embarrassed by how simple it was,  but to be honest right now he just wanted to test his limits in the virtual plane of existence.

“Let’s see if it not just looks but works as I want it to as well.”

He reached for the slider with his hand,  hovered  his finger above it then he swiped to the left.

A loading screen lit up in purple and he had to wait a few seconds before the system proudly announced to him: Connection is secured.

Suddenly the pop up window turned into pixels and in their place a glowing white doorway appeared.

The softshell approached the weird thing with caution. Only sticking one finger through the gateway before deciding it safe to pass through it. And so he did.

But on the other side he suddenly bumped into a literal purple brick wall.

“Of course they are guarding their server… ”

The genius cracked his “virtual” knuckles and with a simple swipe of his hand he summoned a keyboard. Then he began to type. Type as fast as he could think,  without the limitation of a physical body. It was truly like if he just commaded this reality with his mind.

Words turned into a long wall of  code in seconds. And as he finished wiping up the best ten seconds hacking program of the century the softshell reached into the code window with his hands and pulled out a huge hammer.

He held it with familiarity. The same one he usually held his tech bo.

“Heh! I kinda like this!” He commented to himself as he swung the hammer and smashed the wall.

There was quite a big hole in that damned thing now,  but to the softshell’s annoyance it immediately began to repair itself.

“Oh well,  looks like I’ll need an upgrade!” He noted with a mischievous grin.

He quickly pulled up the coding panel again and this time the hammer emerged with rocket thrusters on its sides.

It only took one single hit and the protection of the Purple Dragon’s server collapsed like dominos.

The genius watched with glee the destruction. It satisfied something primal -something Krang- ish inside of him.

The purple turtle easily walked through the ruins with a big shit eating grin plastered on his face.

Now that he was in he saw something akin to a road, which forked into many smaller paths. Each of them had a sequence of numbers displayed on them. It was IP addresses.

It didn’t take long for the genius to decipher the locations the numbers referred to.

One of them was Jeremy’s for sure, then there was the address of April’s school aaaaaaand Kendra’s location.

The softshell didn’t think twice about which road to choose,  he went straight for Kendra’s.

He hopped onto the path that moved like a conveyor belt , but much much faster. And then the path zoomed him across this sea of codes dropping him right into the teen girl’s laptop.

“Great,  great! Let’s see what she got here!”

The genius began to dig through heaps of files,  deleting and corrupting everything he deemed at least mildly important or precious.

Honestly he finished it way too fast. Unsatisfieingly fast.

There had to be something else he could do to cause harm to the horrid human.

“Hm…maybe I could check on her,  see if she’s up to anything that I can use for blackmail.”

The softshell quickly accessed the laptop’s camera and peeked through it. Just for a sec, just with one eye  and very politely. He wasn’t a creep after all,  to watch the girl if she’s undressed or doing um…something very…private.

Thankfully Kendra wasn’t undressed nor doing any well,  let’s just say “activity”. She was actually in bed, reading some book - probably homework-.

She was bandaged all over and one of her wrists had a cast.

“He,  well deserved !”

But the thing that caught the softshell’s eyes was not what the girl was doing,  not even on her form. No,  Donnie was intrigued by the “Smart” bed she was laying on top.

-Dang he never knew Kendra was this rich!-

The mentioned bed was an expensive tech bed. It had all kind of neat features like raisable head and feet parts. It had a massage function, adjustable heating and it could play music as well.

All of this linked to one’s phone via bluetooth so with a simple touch the owner could control all of that.

Of course there was loads and loads of other features,  ones even Donnie, - the king of loving specific and needles features- would call unnecessary.

Oh and why was he so fixated on a damn bed?  Because so much can be done with this bed.

The genius quickly took control of the phone next to the laptop and opened the app that was controlling the bed.

He’s so gonna make the girl regret buying - or receiving whatever.- a Smart bed.

The blue turtle quickly opened a holographic copy of the interphase in front of himself,  eyeing all the sliders with evil glee.

Then he quickly swiped the slider of the feet part riser all the way to the left.

The bed jumped into action raising Kengra’s legs  so fast and violently that the limbs nearly bonked her head.

“What the…” The teen girl grumbled.

But she couldn’t even finish her sentence as suddenly the back part knocked her forward making the girl faceplant into the mattress in front of her.

“Fuck! “ She hissed, holding her casted arm in what one could describe as mild pain.

Then the softshell began the real fun. He swiped the adjustments left and right. Bouncing the teen girl back and forth like if he was playing ping-pong and Kendra was the ball.

The genius snickered as the girl was yelling angrily. She didn’t even know what hit her. That’s how fast the softshell was.

After a while using Kendra as a table tennis ball Donnie grew bored. He set every slider back and chasted one last glance at his handy work.

The girl was a total mess,  like if she was put to spin in a washing machine. Her clothes were twisted around her torso, the pillows and blanket flew away somewhere alongside with the homework,  her hair was messy with strands hanging in front of her rage filled eyes.

Satisfied with his petty revenge the genius left and went back to his server.

“Well,  that was a great exercise to get the hang of this plane of existence. But time to focus on some more serious matters!”

With that the purple turtle willed a pop up window into existence. One that could grant him access to the EPF server if he manages to break through the last line of defense.

The softshell mock cracked his knuckles - given that they did not crack in this virtual reality where he was- stretched his legs,  spine and arms then with determination shining through his intelligent eyes he got to work.

------------------------------------

“Jackpot! “ The genius cheered as he broke through the last line of defense and finally fell into the pool of EPF files.

- Like literally it was a pool filled with files. Shell,  this virtual plane is weird.-

The softshell swam through the piles of documents,  searching high and low for anything useful.  But aside from the organization’s sugar coated fake goals and awards they apparently won,  he couldn’t find much.

As time passed Donnie exponentially grew more irritated. He now was practically tearing through the files. But nothing…

“THIS IS JUST A WASTE OF TIME! ALL THIS WORK,  FOR WHAT?! FOR NOTHING!” The softshell yelled infuriated as he banged his fist against the bottom of the “pool”.

Suddenly all the documents flew up as if they were actually made of paper and disintegrated into green pixels.

And there on the bottom of this container thingy was a text, a binary code, so simple the genius could decipher it in his sleep.

“37°14′0″N 115°48′30″W” The turtle mumbled to himself as he solved the code.

“Wait! 37°14′0″N 115°48′30″W? Those are coordinates. Familiar ones….”

The softshell quickly pulled up a window and made a quick search.

“My. Sweet. Banana. Pancakes! That’s Area 51!” The genius yelled in surprise.

“That’s probably their base. It makes sense. But aw,  shell why does it have to be that faaaaaar? It is on the other side of the country.” He grumbled as he jumped up so he could get out of the EPF’s server before the hole he made on their defense closed.

While he was sitting and waiting for the conveyor belt-like road to transport him back to his own server the purple turtle was making plans.

He couldn’t find anything useful,  but that didn’t mean there was none. They certainly have Sister Krang in their possession.

So what if they don't keep files on their server? Maybe they are keeping it in paper form or flash drives so in case of a hacker attack no one can get their grubby paws on their research.

This is not a dead end,  just a minor setback. He can just go and grab the files in person or in the worst case scenario he can talk to the Krang bitch.

Except it won’t be easy for him to spirit himself away to Nevada without his brothers noticing and asking questions.

But,  maybe that’s for the better. He already made up his mind to tell them his secret once he has a satisfying amount of data about his condition.

All he has to worry about is to not get caught mid leaving or before.

The genius unceremoniously fell to his butt as the road threw him into his own computer.

“Well,  this was fun,  10 out of 10,  would do it again! But now I need to get back to my body!”

Except he didn’t want to.

It was so calming and comfortable to be like this. He was inside a computer,  in a world that perfectly worked as he calculated. Basically a stress free zone.

Not to mention how all the icky feelings were gone. He no longer felt the dull ache of his back,  nor the nauseating sensation of squirming tentacles. He couldn’t taste the surroundings with the alien appendages and his body was how it was supposed to be. His avatar of consciousness in this virtual plane of existence didn’t have any Krang- ish features. No tentacles,  no claws or sharp teeths and super light sensitive eyes.

He was finally just himself. Freed from that corrupted prison he called his body.

Suddenly staying forever in the virtual world sounded like a very good offer.

Nuh- uh! He can’t stay like this! His brothers would eventually find his body. His body,  which had four very pink, flesh vine coming out from.

Buuuut,  maybe he can stay just a teeny tiny bit longer?

Yea,  that sounds about right. He can have a little bit of fun. Lately all he did was suffer.

With that the softshell turned on his heel and decided to do some programming from inside the computer. Shelldon really needs some upgrade and with him practically being part of his PC he can do it so much faster.

But,  before he sits down to have the most productive session of his life he should check on his brothers as a safety precaution.

He quickly transfers himself into another “room” and pulls up the feed of the wireless cameras.

First he checks the individual rooms of his brothers. But all of them are empty. Which is not really a surprise,  aside from him who would spend a lot of time tucked away in his lab,  the rest of his family rather stick close to each other. - Especially since that cursed invasion.-

Next he checks the living room,  hoping his brothers are watching a movie or playing on the  Xbox.

But not a single soul.

Then he checks the projector room, only finding Splinter lonely and empty armchair.

Next is the arcade. Usually at least one of his bros hung out there ,  but no one could be seen.

The genius grews uncomfortable. Their whole home seems hauntingly empty.

“Could’ve they left? Without a word? Unlikely!” The softshell came to the conclusion.

But it doesn’t make him feel better. A nagging fear in the back of his mind keeps screaming that wrong-wrong-wrong chant.

Then just before he would lose his mind to the unexplainable terror that had struck him he pulls up the live feed of the kitchen and spots all three of his brothers gathered.

Leo sits on top of the dinner table , Mikey sits on a chair backwards right beside the slider and Raph is leaning against the counter. All of them had a serious expression on their faces - well ok,  the blue turtle was actually smiling but not in the actual nonchalant way. That right now on his face was Leo’s business smile,  which was well known for the softshell. -

“Leo,  Raph knows yer know somethin’!” The oldest spoke.

“And what do you suppose I know?”

“Raph has no idea,  but he knows from the way ya act yer got somethin’.”

“Maybe I do. But I won’t be telling you! It’s DonTron’s secret and by twin code - and by any basic brotherly code-  it’s not my place to reveal it.”

“T’is is not just Don’s private problem! T’is is affecting all of us so we deserve to know!”

“You do and Dee will tell you when he’s ready.”

“ Leo, it's been months. He’s been actin’ all wack for months now! He had plenty of time to tell us what t’is is all about,  but he didn’! And it’s taking a toll on all of us. It’s like he has gone mad.”

And ok,  this is the point where Donnie starts to feel uncomfortable. Partially because he’s listening to a conversation he clearly wasn’t meant to hear and partially because Raph is spitting facts.

He could have told them months ago and he is indeed pretty much insane.

He failed big time didn’t he?

A part of the softshell would like to retreat,  return to his body,  fly to area 51,  get his answers and make things right with his brothers. -If that’s possible at all.-

But the other part stands there frozen,  way too invested to hear his brothers' unfiltered opinions.

He knows it’s gonna hurt like hell. Heck,  just Raph’s tone already does feel like a knife through his heart.

“Maybe you should’ve shown him that it is safe for him to tell you his problems? Maybe if you weren’t trying to act like you were the police around here he would actually feel comfortable to open up to you. But nooooooo! Yelling and forcing people to fess up is actually the way to go folks!” The slider’s words were laced with venom and sarcasm,  he was clearly upset with his brother in red.

“Fine! Raph won’ push you to tell him. No,  Raph will go and ask Don right now.”

That’s when the blue brother went pale as a ghost.

Honestly he had no idea what his softshelled brother was doing in the lab,  but his twin sense was telling him he mustn't let anyone go there. It was an irrational fear sitting stagnant on the bottom of his stomach with no explanation why,  but the slider wasn’t the type of person who would question it. If twin sense was telling him he shouldn’t,  then he won’t.

“No,  no, no, NO! You can’t go in there!” Leo yelled losing his composure for a moment.

“Why?” Asked Mikey,  who,  so far was stuck being silent due to his older brother's brickening.

“I don’t know. But I know we can’t!” The blue turtle reasoned.

“ That’s not an answer Leo. Make up yer mind already. Will ya tell us what yer know or Raph has to barge in the lab and question Don?”

Eugh, boy! Big Daddy is bringing out the big guns. He’s literally threatening Leo,  which is so unfair because that’s his twin!

Either way,  the slider can’t really argue with that. His big brother was one force to be wrecking when he got something into his head. And for some reason he still felt like his skin was actively peeled whenever someone mentioned entering the lab. Something was telling him he can’t let his brothers in there.

So,  spilling the tea,  that was half empty - or well never even fully filled in the first place- sounded like the lesser evil.

“Fine,  but you have to promise you won’t barge in Dee’s lab if I tell you what I know!”

“Raph swears!”

“Eugh…. So… Well it has something to do with the Techno Drone….”The older twin began his explanation only to be cut off by the oldest loud gasp.

“Did… did the sh- ship…..” Raph stuttered, fear lacing his voice.

The blue brother facepalmed. This was one of the things - aside from (obviously) protecting his twin- he was afraid of. He just knew his big brother will freak out just from the mention of anything related to those ugly chewing gums.

Not like he didn’t share the sentiment. If he never sees a Krang again,  it would be too soon.

But on the other hand he’s not walking around like a living time bomb set to explode from even the implication of anything related to the invasion. He doesn't need to be tiptoed around as if he was made out of glass.

No he’s a big boy and he can put on his own damn makeup and keep it on without smearing it!

Ok, that was kinda uncalled for. It’s not like it was the snapper’s fault. The big guy was obviously traumatized. All of them were.

And it’s not like anyone expected the slider to walk around wearing his makeup,  never letting it flake.

It was an unreasonable expectation he made up in his stupid- stupid brain, but knowing  that didn’t change how he felt.

And oh Pizza Supreme he was very bitter about how Raph was allowed to fall apart when he just couldn’t. He didn’t feel like he deserved it. Not after almost causing the end of the world.

So,  it was just him being unfair and an asshole. This was just so much lately. His leg won’t work. He’s a liability for the team. Mikey is out of his game,  Raph is a nervous wreck and he feels like he’s the duck tape keeping his twin in one piece. A tiny little pathetic wretched little pest piece of tape that pulls an entire person’s weight. It’s frayed and threatening to snap,  and yet it painfully holds onto the surface it was stuck to.

Leo sucks in  a deep breath before speaking. He doesn’t want to snap at his brothers.

“No Raphie, calm down. I don’t think any of that kind of business is going on with Donald. But connecting to an alien supercomputer with your mind certainly leaves a big void after the connection is gone.”

“Yer mean?”

“I’m just saying maybe the thing disorganised that dum- dum’s head. You know, scrambled like eggs.”

“That’s it?”

“ Yes,  he told me that it affected him greatly and now he feels this emptiness. Like come on! For a few minutes DonTron had the information of the whole universe at his fingertips. You think he can just be normal after that was ripped away from him?”

“I have to agree with Leo!” Mikey chimed in.

Finally being able to contribute. - Not like he didn’t have things to say before. The air was just too intense for him to interfere.-

“When we were at the mall we had a talk. He…he told me he was very angry at the K-... at them and he vented his frustration on Hypno.”

“Well that’s a whole lotta anger to vent.” The oldest noted.

The two younger nodded along.

“So much it’s a bit scary…” The little turtle added.

The genius behind the camera shifted uncomfortably.

Mikey sounded so little when he said that and Donnie hates to think his all happy go lucky little brother is afraid of him. Even though he is right about fearing the softshell.

He stares at his brothers as they keep talking about how he is wrong and weird and scary. He tunes it out in favor to study their expressions.

Raph is clearly not convinced about a single thing. He seemed nervous,  scared even.

The orange kid hugs himself protectively and his twin…

He’s sweating bullets. Probably not because he’s that afraid of the purple brother - if he’s afraid at all,  because so far he has shown no sign of fear towards him-  but because he’s trying very hard to hold back a few homely words.

“That’s it. We need to talk to Don!” Raph states and both of the twins' blood runs cold.

The snapper turned towards the kitchen “door” and began to leave. The slider desperately tries to stop his big brother,  but his feeble attempts only can slow the red giant - Especially since one of his legs are useless,  so he tries to hold the big guy back while he barely can hold his own weight.-

“No, no,  no,  no!” The softshell panics.

If they go back to his lab they’ll see him! He has to hurry,  he has to get back in his body and hide the incriminating evidence of his Krang “mutation”.

The genius hurries back to the main server in his room. Tripping and falling a few times.

Finally he’s at where he first arrived when he got into the system. He can already see his body just has to jump back into it.

Wait! He still didn’t figure out how to do that.

Time passes by him faster than it is supposed to and every second matters,  but he’s frozen. He has no idea how to even begin.

He got uploaded into this reality via his tentacles,  so in theory terminating the connection AKA pulling out the appendages should put him back where he belongs.

Except he’s out of his body he can't move,  how is he supposed to move the flesh vines?!

Wait,  maybe,  he can whip up a program which could download his consciousness back on his body.

The softshell wastes no times he summons a pop up window and begins to type away with light speed.

Suddenly one of the many microphones hidden in his lab picks up some noise:

“Raph you swore you won’t barge in!” Leo’s voice whines desperately.

“Yes,  that’s why Raph won’ barge in. Raph will knock first.”

With that a loud knock echoes through the lab,  followed by the oldest’s voice:

“Don,  could ya open up? We need to talk. Raph promises he’s not gonna scold ya or yell,  just wanna talk, ok?”

No answer. The virtual version of the genius types faster.

“Could he be out?” The little one asks.

“No way,  we would’ve seen him! Donnie, are ya in there?” The oldest questions.

Nothing.

“Maybe he’s asleep…” The blue brother tries to stop what’s to come in vain.

“Dee,  sleeping in his lab,  when he could be working?! I would be surprised.” Mikey chimes in.

The slider gives him a scornful look which makes the little turtle shrink in on himself just a little bit.

“That’s it. Raph is gettin’ worried. I’ll count to three Don. And then Raph will break down yer door so don’t come cryin’ to me. Yer have been warned!”

“ Come on Raph…” Leo tries to appease the snapper.

“1”

“There is no need for that!” The slider tries to reason.

“2”

“ I’m sure he’s just asleep. He had a rough time lately. You gotta believe me Raphie!”

“3”

“Don’t do this big guy!” The blue brother pleases, an unexplainable dread coursing through his veins.

The oldest ignores the “dramatic” slider.

-------------------------

Donnie can hear the commotion outside,  but he pays no mind to it. He can tell his twin- for some reason- trying to buy him time.

And sweet Galileo he can make it. The coding is done. Raph is only at 1.

He can get back into his body and throw a blanket at himself before the door breaks down. After all,  no matter how strong his big brother is,  his reinforced door can take at least three hits from him before giving in. Besides, he knows the snapper. Even after counting to three he will still announce that he will break the door as a last warning.

“ Dee I will break the door!” The oldest announces and the softshell hits the download button.

He has approximately 1 minute. He can make it! One minute is more than enough.

And with that his consciousness fades.

The softshell opens his eyes. His head is spinning and his tentacles are throbbing with pain.

But it doesn’t matter,  he made it! He pulls the alien appendages out of his tech and turns around to grab a blanket. ~Too late.~ What do you….mean?!

Donnie’s eyes went wide as they met with this brother’s horrified expressions. They all looked like they saw a ghost or well…a Krang. Well, they actually saw a Krang.

The softshell’s brain needed a few seconds to actually process the events. His frantic gaze bounced back and forth between his own form and his brothers.

The tentacles sprouted from his back viciously swaying in the air looking almost as if someone with four arms was threateningly shaking their fists.

The genius’ mind was numb, his breathing coming in short, his chest burned from the lack of oxygen.

How could this be?He was on time. The door couldn't break down this fast.

No it didn't. He didn’t even hear it break. He didn’t even hear the echo of it. Nor did he see the dust particles flying around. No, when he came to,  the door was laying flat on the floor and his brothers were staring at him.

Oh no! A lag. There was a lag in between the download and his brain loading his consciousness back. He must’ve been out for more than a minute. Maybe even two have passed.  Who knows! As far as he’s aware his brothers could’ve been standing there frozen in horror for hours.

He’s been seen! There is no taking back, there is no talking his way out of this. His alien flesh vines were dancing menacingly in the blinking red light of the lab on full display.

It was almost comical how this whole scene probably looked like if it was something out of a nightmare or a horror movie. Red light in a dark room, alien flesh wiggling, metal claws in place of his fingers tensing, ready to attack and Donnie could see from the reflection of his screen that his eyes glowed pink as well.

He was seen. It was clear from the look on his brothers' faces. They looked like they wanted to scream and run, but they were frozen in place, too afraid to even make a peep.

And the softshell hated it! Hated it! Hated it! HatedithatedithatedithateditHATEDITHATEDITHATEDITHATEDITHATEDIT!!!

It made him feel like a monster. Wait, he was a monster.~You're not!~ A monster. A monster. A monster! Monster! Monster! MonstermonstermonstermonstermonsterMONSTERMONSTERMONSTER!

Have to get out! ~We need to stay!~ It’s dangerous! ~We are safe!~ Have to protect them! ~We can do that!~ We are hurting them! ~They are safe with us!~ Never! We need out! Out! Out!OutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUT!

Everything hurt,  his soul, his mind. It was pure agony. They…they hate him. He…he’s losing his brothers.

No,  he already lost them the moment he turned into this vile beast.

The ringing of his non-existent ears hurt and he was just so scared. He felt like a little kid,  lost and alone,  crying bawling his eyes out for his brothers.

He was selfish! So fucking selfish! But god he wanted it! Wanted it badly... To be held in a tight hug . To be told that everything is going to be fine. But who would comfort such a monster, this disgusting fleshy abomination?

He wishes his brothers could make this pain go away,  but they can’t. No one can. He’s beyond saving,  rotten to the core. He’s not even sure it would be worth a try at this point and he can’t take this anymore. He just wants to tear his body apart,  set the pieces ablaze and rest. This is just too much! Existing is too much!

~Initiating autopilot mode!~ The words echoed in the softshell mind and he felt himself be yanked backwards. His consciousness felt like fading and then he found himself submerged in this pitch like sticky black material.

He couldn’t move,  his limbs felt too heavy nor could he see. Everything was black. Or almost,  because there was a little window,  his own eyes. He was in the back seat unable to do anything but watch as something- the TD drove his body. And oh he watched…

 In utter horror,  knowing that he has no say in what the damned parasite does to his brothers.

The softshell’s gaze changed into an ice cold stare that had no recognition for his family.

He bent down,  lowered to all fours and screeched like the monster from hell he was.

That was the only warning the brothers got before Donnie dashed towards them.

Raph’s body moved on its own, his mind refusing to recognise his softshelled brother as anything else but a threat. To be honest he probably did not even fully realize that was his younger brother. All he could see was pink flesh and all he could hear was the loud scream in his mind “ PROTECT!”

So, he didn’t think. He moved in between the threat and his little brothers. The snapper’s ninpo lit up and formed into a fist that came crashing down as if it was heaven’s wrath.

Too bad it meant nothing for the creature he was up against. It let out a horrifying hiss as one of its four tentacles wrapped around the red brother’s hand.

Raph let out a terrified little squeak as he felt the horrible flesh vines tightening around his wrist. Pure terror and panic coursing through his veins making his head go all numb. Will he be overtaken again? He doesn’t want to be a puppet! The snapper was way too scared out of his mind to even react when the tentacle lifted him up as if he weighed nothing then yeeted him shell first into a wall where he made a stylish Raph shaped indent and got his sikes stuck in the concrete.

With the biggest threat taken care of, the softshell turned his attention towards the orange- blue duo in the doorway.

He stood very still for a moment tilting his head to the left side, clearly weighing his options while he kept making this reverberating click-click-click sound as if he was trying to do echolocation or something.

Then the horrified box turtle couldn’t take it anymore and he let out one terrified little gasp. An action that clearly triggered something primal in the TD as it immediately sprung towards them on all four.

He would’ve had an easy way out if it wasn’t for the little one who served as the slider’s personal crutch standing in the doorway. So,  naturally he pushed the youngling with his clawed hand.

The blue- orange duo fell like bowling pins,  each of them landing in the opposite direction.

Donnie heard as Mikey yelped and Leo letting loose a quiet whimper.

Clearly both of them fell hard to their butts. Not to mention that with the slider’s leg condition he’s probably fallen funny.

Then the genius smelled it… It was so strong,  so nauseating that he could sense it through the layers and layers of disconnection the Techno Drone caused him.

It was the smell of blood. Mikey’s blood.

The little turtle was holding his upper arm,  blood is sluggishly seeping out from under.

NononononoNONONONO! He hurt his little brother?!

He couldn’t move,  he couldn’t fight back,  he was kept under the water by the force of this damned parasite.

So,  he couldn’t see,  but he smelled it and distantly felt it drip from his claws. The box turtle’s blood.

He couldn’t stay! He was dangerous! He hurt Mikey! He hurt him!

Panic squeezed his chest painfully. He wrestled with the autopilot for control. All in vain.

Still at least the two of them seemed to agree on one single thing. They wanted to get away.

The beast that once was a beloved brother bolted.

He just needs to hold on for a bit longer. He can get away! Everyone will be safe from him. He’s almost there! Almost out of reach.

Suddenly he felt something grab one of his tentacles. White hot pain rushed up his spine,  nearly causing him to black out.

The softshell whipped his head around to see his twin.

He was laying on the floor,  hand stretched to a nearly impossible extent to catch just the end of Donnie’s left lower tentacle.

The slider held onto it as if his life depended on it. His grip turning into punishing strong.

And the genius could no longer contain the agony that wrecked his body. It truly felt like as if his twin was actively grasping his internal organs playing tug war to pull them out.

A horrific screech tore itself out of the purple brother. Raw,  guttural and animalistic,  filled with unbearable pain.

The softshell watched as his twin’s face morphs into a terrified and panicked expression.

Leo instantly let go of the pink flesh vine,  his hand slapping against the concrete floor,  but he seemed to be too shocked to register the pain that came from that.

The slider gasped and he spoke,  voice small and trembling.

Donnie couldn’t understand. He had to get away! That look on his twin’s face… Fear… Leo was afraid of him and that hurt more than anything he ever experienced. It crushed his heart, twisted,tore it out and threw it to the wolves to feast. 

So he scrambled away disgracefully, on all four like an animal that was high on meds.

He heard his twin’s voice scream. Loud like thunder, but he couldn’t comprehend the words. Maybe he didn’t want to hear what he was saying. Maybe he would’ve fallen apart if he heard his twin call him a monster, a Krang, a beast.

His chest ached, his tears were soaking his mask. Everything hurt and he just wanted it to end. And then the TD cut him off. He no longer saw or felt, nor heard what was going on. In that moment nothing else existed but the dark void he was stuck in.

And maybe that was mercy….

Chapter Text

Donnie came back into control in some shady alley in New York. He had no idea how long it had been, or what the Techno Drone did while it literally locked him away in a dark corner of his mind, but it didn’t seem that long.

Still, he was splayed out on the wet and cold concrete, rain viciously pouring into his face. He was cold. Unnaturally cold, but maybe that was only because he was drenched.

The softshell groggily sat up, groaning like a middle aged overworked guy. He looked at his hand that shifted abc into being a hand instead of a Krnag armor claw thingy. It was kind of a relief. He hated the sight of that thing.

 After noting that he immediately reached for his tech gauntlet only to find nothing…

That’s strange. He could’ve sworn he had it on before the whole …… um … event happened.

Oh, well this damned alien parasite probably lost it accidentally. Besides it’s not that big of a deal, he always keeps a backup in his battleshell…

It was gone… His battleshell was GONE! Wait! It wasn’t on him to begin with when he freaked out and had to leave his home. And without his wrist tech he couldn’t even summon one…

He curled into a tiny ball on the cold wet ground, pushing his back against the nearest wall. He felt exposed and vulnerable.

It’s stupid! Rationally he could tell that. After all, even without his battleshell or any shell protection with these cursed tentacles growing out of his spine, no one could even approach him. Let alone try to do any damage to his shell. Whoever would be the poor devil who tries would be shredded like cheddar cheese or skewered like kebab. 

So, at this point his artificial shell was more to protect the folks out there who would quickly find themself in hot water turning into Hot Soup. 

“Hold your horses, what’s up with the food themed metamorphs?!”

Suddenly his stomach growled angrily. Now to think of it, he has no idea when’s the last time he ate and it’s not like his body had time to restock the nutrients he lost during that particular time he, well, lost track of time. 

“Fuck off!” The softshell grumbled.

He was in a very shitty mood and no, he will not feed the parasite!

The genius was angry, drowning in despair and self hatred. His life was over. He just lost his home, his tech,his brothers….  Just mentioning the last one felt like his insides were ripping apart.

He could survive the end of the world, he could survive eating rats and a krang apocalypse for quite a while -according to Junior- but his brothers were like oxygen. There would be no heads and tails of this world without them. No reason to keep living, because honestly who was he without his brothers? Sure, he’s still a genius scientist, he can invent and repair anything . But what was his tech worth? It was meant to fix things for his family. To make their life easier, to keep them safe.

Making them without having a loved one in mind would be in vain. If he can’t flex it for his brothers…. If he can’t make them gasp in shock and awe, what is the meaning of anything at all?!

He lies back to the ground, ignoring how the coldness of the concrete feels as if it was biting into his flesh.

“I don’t wanna think any more… I don’t wanna feel any more…. I think I think too much… Feel too much… Let’s just end this…” He mumbles, as his tired, glassy eyes staring at the cloudy night skies.

He’s spent and all his will to live left him. He wishes the ground would just split open and swallow him whole. He wants to be six teeth under already. 

Everything hurts and he’s so alone. Tears roll down his cheeks and he wants to scream, but he can’t find the strength to do so.

After an eternity laying in the cold rain, he sits up then rises onto his feets. Then on those wobbly legs he sways left and right as he drags his living corpse through the alley.

He needs to keep moving. He will end this. He’s sure in a few days starvation will claim him, if the blaring voice in his head yelling ~Nutrients required!~  on repeat was anything to go by. 

He just has to keep going around to make sure his family doesn't find him.

A part of his yearns for them to find him, but he pushes it down. He hurt them, he doesn’t deserve that! He doesn’t deserve anything. He’s alone and that will stay like this till death will claim him.

Maybe once he’s done paying for the mistakes he made he can make it to Hamato heaven. Maybe Gram-gram will hold him and comfort him. Maybe one day when his brothers' time on earth is done he'll be able to look them in the eye, apologise, hug them and never let go again. Well, if he’s not so corrupted that he gets banned from their family’s heaven of course.

Either way, first he has to cross to the other side. Now that the thing can take full control over him, now that he hurt his brothers he’s way too dangerous to exist.

He might be a bit too much of a coward to end himself as honorable warriors do, to cut off his head or commit seppuku - Not like seppuku was that easy for a turtle with a hard plastron.- but he will kill himself. He will drag this parasite to hell with him.

The softshell keeps moving during the night and at the first sight of daylight he hides in an empty trash container in some alley. Then as night falls he’s back on his feet again walking aimlessly like a zombie.

His legs hurt, he can smell his own blood seeping out of them. There are scrapes and bruises on his legs, the sole of his feets has sharp rocks and pieces of glass stuck in it, but the regeneration keeps sealing his wounds so he doesn’t care.

His head is buzzing with the TD’s voice demanding him to eat, to the point where he can’t think at all. At this point he’s not even sure he knows, why he has to keep moving. He just has to.

The sun goes down, the sun comes up, who knows how many times. All he knows is the pain and hunger and walking. He doubts he could recall his own name.

He’s stuck in this delirious trance, the world around him melting like some wacky fever dream. Everything is just noise and color and cold and smell. How many days have passed? How many nights did he spend sleeping in trash cans? How many miles did he walk? Is he still in the city at all? Why does the end keeps continuing? Why can’t it be over faster? He needs this to end now! NOW! Just GOD DAMN IT LET THIS TO BE OVER!

“Oh would you look at that! What a delicious little piglet made their way here…” A familiar voice calls out and Donnie immediately snapps his head toward it.

There in the dimly lit alley is a huge man pig. One the softshell immediately recognises. His head clears and suddenly he snaps out of his haze, full attention on the threat.

“Oh right, sorry you’re no piglet, you're a delicious soup ingredient.”

The genius doesn’t understand a single word the villain is saying. He’s way too caught up trying to stop the onslaught of emotions pouring at him like a bucket of ice, now that he recalls his horrible horrible situation.

Meat Sweats just keeps running his mouth and it’s pissing the softshell off and given that the villain tried to eat him before and hurt Mikey, he knows he won’t feel a tinge of regret if he slaughters the man pig. Which means he is probably going to kill him.

Now, his plan was to die before he could end anyone’s life, but he might make an exception  in the case of this abomination that dares to call himself a mutant. Besides, the world can only thank him for riding it from this wretched pest.

He knows way too well as he hears his thoughts echo in his head, that he’s way too far gone. His mind is like theirs, but this feels mildly reasonable compared to the shit he has done lately.

Besides, from the screaming voice in his head ~ Nutrition levels dangerously low~   he knows this fight might just let him burn up all his remaining energy and he can  finally kiss goodbye to this damned existence.