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Chapter Text

An ear-splitting scream wrenched itself from her lips as the snake-faced man - no, monster - placed the Cruciatus on her lithe body. Her body twitched uncontrollably and it was like a thousand phantom needles were repeatedly piercing through her. 

Please let this end, Hattie thought desperately, or maybe she screamed it, pleaded it, if the shrill, cold laughter from Voldemort and his Death Eaters was any indication. Voldemort was saying something to his Death Eaters but she could hardly hear it over the sound of her own screams. 

“-their saviour, reduced to a pitiful mess. Dumbledore truly thought a fourteen year old girl was any match for me-”

The curse finally ended and Hattie wanted to sob from the relief at the phantom pain alleviating. But that relief was short-lived, as the rush of pain returned, the girl still shaking from the after-effects of the Curse.

“Get up,” he ordered the whimpering girl, who was curled up at his feet, her body racked with sobs. Maybe in another life she would have fought back. Maybe in another life she would have tried to get out of that graveyard alive. “We are going to duel, Potter. Has Dumbledore taught you to duel?”

I want my mum, she wanted to cry, but she couldn’t form any coherent words. And perhaps, he finally took pity on her. Two murmured words and a flash of green and that world that had treated her horribly disappeared.

Her head was pounding when she came to her senses and she blinked blearily, a pretty face screwed up with worry hovering over her. Lily Potter gave her daughter a wobbly smile, seeming like she had been crying all day. “Hattie… Sweetheart?”

“Mum?” Hattie mumbled sleepily, her hands grappling to try and sit up - she was in a bed, the dewy graveyard grass no longer beneath her back - but her head felt too heavy. 

“Careful, Madam Pomfrey said you have quite a terrible concussion,” a man’s voice spoke from the other side of her, and Hattie was met with James Potter’s handsome face. Lily immediately began fussing over her, propping up her pillows and helping her to sit up.

“Madam Pomfrey?” Hattie echoed, puzzled. She let her mum fuss over her. It felt nice to have someone who cared about her comfort. “But I’m dead.”

Lily and James both exchanged incredibly concerned looks. “No, sweetheart, of course you’re not dead,” Lily began tentatively, her hand reaching out to run a hand through Hattie’s long, light brown hair, before seemingly thinking better of it and retracting her hand. “You just got hurt playing Quidditch and your heart stopped for a little while but-”

“No, mum, I died,” Hattie insisted, her voice loud and strangled. “I died! Voldemort killed me and you’re both dead too-” Lily and James shared another increasingly worried look. “I don’t know what’s going on-” She buried her hands in her face frustratedly.

“Who’s Voldemort?” she heard her father mutter to her mother, and her confusion only multiplied.

“What?” The astonishment on her face was clear as day. “He’s a Dark Lord. He murdered you, he murdered me, he murdered so many people…”

“Hattie, there hasn’t been a Dark Lord in Europe since Dumbledore defeated Grindelwald in the forties,” said James, his own bewilderment and frustration clear on his face. Now that she was looking at him closely, he looked older, not by much, but certainly older than the young man who had died at twenty-one.

This revelation only caused her more distress because why didn’t they remember anything? “What-”

“I’ll go get Madam Pomfrey,” another voice offered and Hattie saw Sirius and Remus standing behind James, her having missed them earlier due to her dazed state. Sirius had spoken and he seemed reluctant to be there.

“Sirius, what’s going on? Are we all dead?” Hattie demanded, scrambling off the bed. Her head spun and she stumbled, only to have two strong arms steady her at the waist. At first, she thought it was her mother, but as she turned, she noticed the other person she had failed to notice in the room.

Tom Riddle. 

Strikingly beautiful and fifteen years-old, he wore a blank expression on his face. Hattie released a blood-curdling scream, her eyes wide with terror. She shot out of his arms, grasping onto her now very worried mother. “He’s gonna kill me mum!” She hid behind her mother, clinging to her whilst sobbing hysterically. “He’s gonna kill all of us!”

Lily was at a loss of what to say to her, looking to her husband and friends and the teenager helplessly. “I’ll go,” said Tom, his tone clipped. “I didn’t come here voluntarily, anyway.” Tom shot an irritated look at Remus, who inclined his head apologetically.

“I’ll walk you back, son,” said Sirius, eager to leave and uncomfortable with the loud crying from the girl who hated all of them anyway. 

“How is she?” Remus asked his best friends a week after the incident. The four of them - Lily, James, Sirius and Remus - all sat huddled on the couches in Remus’ small living room in Hogwarts (he had been the Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher at Hogwarts for the past seven years). Hattie had been transferred to St. Mungo’s after her mental breakdown, during which she had been absolutely inconsolable. 

Lily sighed heavily, and James laced his fingers between hers. “She doesn’t remember anything about us or her life. It’s like she’s lived a completely different life up until now. They’ve tried potions and spells but nothing works! They showed her details of her life - pictures of her friends, pictures of her over the years. She thinks she’s in Gryffindor and her best friends are Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger .”

Sirius snorted, “The son of a ‘blood traitor’ and a muggleborn? She loves the pureblood bullshit that her Slytherin mates spout. What’s next - she thinks she deserves to be crowned ‘Daughter of the Year’?”

“That’s the thing!” exclaimed James, leaning slightly forward in his seat. “We’ve been visiting her every evening after work and she’s so polite with us - I don’t think she’s ever been polite to us in her life!”

“That’s not true,” said Lily, reproachfully. “She was the sweetest toddler.”

James and Sirius exchanged sceptical looks, and Remus just nodded placatingly. “When is she coming home?” questioned Remus.

“Well, she’s not a risk to herself or others, so there’s no need to keep her in a psych ward,” said James. “Lily and I are going to collect her tomorrow morning.”

“The healers, they think that it’s best if she stays at home and completes her studies, considering she’s really disoriented at the moment. They’re hoping that her memory will eventually return,” said Lily. “They think her memory issues might be due to some brain damage incurred when her heart-” Lily cut off shakily, still remembering the paralysing fear when she was told that her daughter’s heart had stopped for a few minutes before they resuscitated her.

James tried to lighten the atmosphere. “Which means, it will be me and my darling daughter having some bonding time.” James did not sound pleased at this prospect and Sirius smirked at him. It was no secret that James was absolutely disgusted with his daughter’s blood supremacist friends and how she was an absolute terror to anyone who even breathed too loudly in her presence.

“She’s our daughter, James,” admonished Lily, nudging her elbow into his side gently. James pretended to yelp loudly. “Besides, it's only for two months until the school term ends in June, and then I’ll take care of her.” Lily was the Ancient Runes Professor. 

Lily knew that her daughter wasn’t a good person by any measure, and some part of her faulted herself for that too. She, like James, had also been harsh on Hattie for her behaviour, had been strict and stern with her when she was rude to people. But when a mother thought she had nearly lost her child, she no longer cared about any of that. All she could think about was that her daughter had nearly died and all James and Lily ever did was argue with her.

“Here’s hoping she recovers her memory before that,” said James, crossing his fingers and shuddering. Hattie did not get along with her parents even in the slightest, partly because they held different political views to her, but mainly because they were nice to her worst enemy, Tom Riddle. 

“You managed to get two months off of work?” asked Sirius, impressed. Their boss, Rufus Scrimgeour the Head Auror, was an absolute pain.

“Took a hell of a lot of bargaining to keep my job,” admitted James. “It’s unpaid leave. Lils will be the breadwinner.” Lily rolled her eyes as her husband wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“Right, because you’d be homeless without her paycheck,” Remus said sarcastically. The Potters were one of the four richest families in Britain, as well as the Blacks, Malfoys and Lestranges.

Hattie had reached a few plausible conclusions to explain her current situation. The first was that she had died and this was some heavenly, ideal life that had been provided to her. But that was bogus, because in no ideal life would she be a Slytherin or best friends with the likes of Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson, as the mind Healers who were treating her had claimed. That was absurd.

The second theory she had formulated was that this was all some elaborate mind game or trick that Voldemort had created to keep her trapped, but what would he even gain from that? Voldemort had everything to gain from her death, and nothing to achieve from her being alive. Besides, she remembered the moment when she had died. She was sure of it.

Circling back to her first theory, this didn’t seem to be an ideal life, but it was certainly a different version of her life. The Mind Healers had shown her numerous pictures of people she knew and what they meant to her: her best friends, her teachers, her parents. When she had brought up her friends Ron and Hermione, and her parents had been present during that therapy session, they told her she hated both of them. She was horrible to them.

But then Hattie came up with a third, worse theory: what if this life was the one that had been real? What if she really was a truly awful person? What if the life she thought had been her real life had been the one that she had made up? What if her parents had never actually died? Her brain hurt from just trying to wrap itself around all the possibilities.

Was Hattie actually crazy?

After a week of her entire life story being repeated to her and numerous trials of medical treatment, Hattie was finally being discharged from St. Mungo’s Hospital. The moment the nurses told her that she was being discharged that morning, she had immediately changed out of the horrid hospital gown and into the grey knit jumper and flare jeans that she had been wearing when she was transferred here.

Her hair was a lot tamer, Hattie noted as she examined her reflection in the mirror. There was basically no frizz - she only had to run a brush through her hair once and everything lay perfectly flat!

“Are they here yet?” Hattie popped her head out of the door of her private room to the reception for what felt like the millionth time that morning. 

“Yes, actually,” the Matron nurse of the psychiatric floor said from behind the desk, and there stood her parents (and wasn’t that a weird thought? Hattie had never had any parents before). They were talking to Hattie’s primary Mind Healer at the end of the corridor. Hattie suddenly felt shy as they looked at her, heading towards them.

Her mum smiled at her, the expression warm and open and welcoming on the woman’s beautiful face. “Ready to go, sweetheart?”

Hattie nodded quickly and Healer Selwyn laughed, “Eager to leave, Harriet?”

“It’s Hattie,” she reminded the Healer like she had the entire week. The woman was incredibly professional, like a more friendly version of Professor McGonagall. She was also more blonde than Hattie’s Transfiguration teacher. “And no offence Healer Selwyn, but I kind of hate hospitals.”

“Most people do,” Healer Selwyn said, agreeably. “And then some people practically live here.” She pointed to herself. “By the way, we'll be having biweekly appointments for the next several weeks, just to check in.”

“Oh, I don’t need that. I’m completely fine-”

Hattie’s hasty response was cut off by James. “I’ll make sure to bring her.” Hattie got the impression that her Dad didn’t like her very much but that was fine, because Hattie was used to her family disliking her. At least he wasn’t openly hostile like her uncle and aunt had been. His tone was just always short with her and he didn’t speak to her very much.

“Well then, I’ll see you later this week, Hattie,” Healer Selwyn smiled at the teenager, who returned it reluctantly.

“See you…” Hattie trailed behind her parents as they led her to the elevator. It was just the three of them in the elevator. They stood in a line against the far wall, with Hattie situated between her parents.

“How are you feeling, Hattie?” Lily asked.

Hattie startled at being addressed. “I’m good, thank you. How are you?”

Lily and James exchanged a look that she couldn’t quite decipher: they did that a lot around her. Was she really that different without her supposedly “real” memories? “I’m doing good too.”

“That’s good.” There was silence again in the elevator. Hattie wanted to stare at her feet due to the extreme awkwardness, but she couldn’t bring herself to tear her gaze away from her parents. What if this was all just a dream and they would eventually disappear and she would have to spend the rest of her life regretting that she hadn’t gotten to know them?

“What’s your favourite colour?” she shot out hurriedly, wanting to know everything possible about them. Every small detail. All she really knew about her parents was that they were good people, and no one really badmouthed the dead unless they were truly horrific, so that wasn’t really a good indication about their personalities.

They seemed surprised by the trivial question. “Green,” Lily answered easily. “I’m told it brings out my eyes.”

“Green brings out my eyes too. Because we have the same eyes. Because you’re my mum. Obviously…” Hattie giggled nervously, and Lily just smiled at her encouragingly.

Hattie glanced at James tentatively, waiting for his response as they stepped out of the elevator into the throng of people bustling around the hospital entrance. “Oh, uh, I like black, I guess.”

“Boring,” Lily muttered to Hattie, and she shared another smile with her mum. “What’s your favourite colour?”

“Red,” Hattie answered the question just as easily as Lily had. You could take the girl out of Gryffindor, but you couldn’t take Gryffindor out of the girl. 

They wove their way through the hustle and bustle towards the Apparition Points where people were popping in and out. The only thing she knew about Apparition was that Ron’s older brothers - Bill, Charlie and Percy - could do it. “Er- I don’t know how to do that,” she told her parents quietly. 

“Of course you don’t, you’re fourteen,” James snorted. “Grab onto one of our arms, we’ll Side-Along you.”

“Oh, OK. Sorry.” Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia always hated stupid questions from her. Hattie grasped onto Lily’s forearm, and then she was being squeezed into a phantom tube, and her head hurt, and the next thing she knew was that she wanted to hurl. 

“First time’s always uncomfortable,” Lily was saying from next to her. “You always take the Floo but the Hospital’s Floo always has the longest queue-”

“Hey, on the bright side, at least she didn’t vomit!” James exclaimed brightly. Lily shot him an unimpressed look.

The nausea finally alleviated and Hattie steadied herself, looking up at the large cottage where they were standing outside. It was the same cottage that had been in the background of a few of the pictures that Hagrid had given her in her first year. Was this where she would have grown up if her parents hadn’t died?

They’re alive. They’re alive. They’re alive. Stop acting weird and sad or they’re going to hate you-

Pushing down her melancholia, she followed them into the grand cottage, surveying her surroundings with interest. There were quite a few pictures of her that immediately caught her eye in the hallway, from when she was younger. From the ages of zero to eight, if she deduced correctly. Hattie didn’t think any such pictures of her past the age of one existed in her life, considering the Dursleys had never wanted to cherish any memories of her. 

She looked happy in the pictures. She looked loved. It was too much to bear so she looked away. 

Her parents instantly averted their gaze when she looked at them after looking away from the photographs, probably having been surveying her for any reaction or recognition. Hattie was still sceptical that this had ever been her life; she didn’t think there were any memories to recover. 

Following her parents’ lead, she took her shoes off by the door and placed them on the shoe rack, before trailing after them into a cosy living room. James immediately flopped onto a sofa, kicking his feet up, but Lily shoved his feet aside so that she could sit next to him, when there were various other unoccupied seats. 

Hattie stood there, feeling terribly out of place. “Why don’t you go up to your room and rest for a little while and then we’ll call you down for lunch?” Lily offered, seemingly taking pity on how uncomfortable the girl appeared.

“OK,” Hattie nodded, glad that she finally had some instructions to follow. Leave them alone, she could do that, she had been doing that for years with the Dursleys. She paused in the doorway. “Er- which one is my bedroom?”

“Oh!” It was like the extent of the situation was finally just hitting Lily. It was like she had expected Hattie to have retained at least this small detail about the house she had lived in her entire life, and she appeared terribly guilty and that in turn made Hattie feel guilty. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise-”

“Third door on the left,” answered James, cutting off Lily’s guilty tirade, clearly seeing the turmoil in Hattie’s eyes.

“Thanks.” She rushed up the stairs without looking back.

Chapter Text

The brass door handle was cold under her fingertips as she pushed open the cedar door that had been painted white. Hattie stepped into the room that James had said was hers. 

Tutshill Tornados posters were plastered all over the walls, and the figures moved like she had witnessed on the posters in Ron and Ginny’s bedrooms. Hattie had never supported any Quidditch team: she had never seen any professional matches other than the World Cup Final, having grown up in the muggle world. 

She approached the vanity at the foot of the bed, next to the door. There were pictures of her stuck to the mirror, mainly with Parkinson and Greengrass and occasionally some other Slytherins, including Malfoy . These were recent photographs, unlike the ones that she had seen downstairs.

She gingerly sat down on the edge of her- no, the large, super soft bed. It felt too wrong to think of this life as her own, because she was fairly certain that she hadn’t invented her life as the Girl Who Lived. Had Hattie and the other version of her from this life switched places?

She also couldn’t ignore the nagging voice (which sounded a lot like Uncle Vernon) that was telling her that perhaps she was crazy.

Unable to reconcile that notion, she immediately jumped up from the bed after a few minutes of staring at the wall, already sick of her thoughts whilst alone. Hattie wanted to go downstairs and badger her parents for every minute detail of their lives, because this could be her only chance. She could wake up any second and learn that this utopian fantasy - a world where she wasn’t an orphan and Voldemort was only a teenager - was all just a dream. However, the awkwardness earlier with her parents had been too painful to bear. 

But Harriet Potter was also a Gryffindor. 

Therefore, like a woman with a mission, the fourteen year old trudged back downstairs, and her parents were now in the kitchen, both of them standing next to the stove and holding mugs of coffee, whilst occasionally stirring the pot. Their backs were turned to her so they didn’t notice her standing in the doorway.

“-and apparently he got angry at his dad and attacked him!” James was telling her in a hushed voice. They were gossiping, Hattie noted with a smile.

“His eighty year old dad with heart problems?” Lily recalled, sounding absolutely appalled.

“Yeah!” James exclaimed loudly, “And he has hip problems, kidney problems, liver problems, but he just needs to lay off the beer for that- But that’s besides the point! Apparently, the argument was over who got the last lamb rib- you know those really nice ones that his wife made when she invited us to that barbecue last year-”

“You’re joking?” Lily sounded even more disgusted now. “He had a fight with his elderly dad over food ?!”

Dropping his cup onto the kitchen counter, James waved his hands around with a flourish that made Hattie mask a smile. He was so dramatic. “That’s what me and Sirius said! And we thought there was sure to be more to the story but Brown said-”

Hattie snorted, and both of her parents whipped around to look at her. Lily smiled welcomingly but James crossed his arms over his chest defensively, like he was embarrassed to have been overheard by her. “Were you standing there the whole time?” 

Lily shot him a reproachful look and some of the iciness in his demeanour dissipated. Hattie shifted uneasily. “Er- I just got here.”

“Oh. OK.” He paused for a moment. “What was so funny?” James looked like he was waiting for her to say something that he wouldn’t like.

It was Hattie’s turn to pause and assess her words carefully: it was clear that James was uncomfortable around her, perhaps due to her not having her memories. She probably felt like a stranger to him. “I know a Brown too, probably a different one to you, but I think they might be related. She tells, uh, a lot of questionable stories.”

“Lavender, right?” Lily clarified, and Hattie nodded with relief, because her mum was so much easier to talk to than James. “Cecelia Brown is her mum. She works with James and Sirius and they always believe everything she says.”

“She knows a lot of stuff,” James mumbled, gruffly. Lily laughed loudly, patting James’ cheek condescendingly and he brushed her hand off gently. They were so in love. Hattie wondered if she would have that with someone someday. 

“We’ve made some pasta for lunch,” Lily told her, with a kind smile. “Take a seat at the table and we’ll bring everything over. James, darling, can you set the table?”

“I’ll do it!” Hattie piped up hurriedly, before James could get out a word. She was used to doing everything for the Dursleys anyway; she figured that she would actually appreciate being able to do things for her parents, people that she actually liked . She would do anything so that they wouldn’t get sick of her.

Whilst his daughter was occupied with rummaging around in the drawers - looking for plates and utensils - James exchanged a wide-eyed look with his wife, because Hattie never offered to help. If James or Lily asked her to do something - clean her room, do her laundry, wash her plate after meals - it almost always resulted in a screaming match.

She had finally found the necessary plates and utensils and had laid them out on the kitchen table. Lily brought over the serving dish, whilst James grabbed a jug of water and a bottle of orange juice from the fridge. Lily sat at the head of the table, with James on her left and Hattie on her right.

The couple waited for Hattie to serve herself first as always, Lily angling the dish closer to her daughter who looked up in surprise. The teenager served herself a very small amount but Lily and James kept their mouths firmly shut. Prior to the accident, Hattie would blow up at them if she was told to eat more, and getting angry at them was her easiest excuse for skipping a meal. It seemed that losing all memories of her life had not changed her disordered eating habits.

However, unlike before the accident, Hattie immediately inhaled her food, like she was afraid that it was going to be taken away from her. His puzzlement was reflected on his wife’s face but they kept their silence, starting to eat their own helpings. OK, so maybe her eating habits had changed with the memory loss.

“I like this green gravy on the pasta,” she said, and James was thankful that she didn’t speak through a mouthful of food. He ducked his head, trying to stop the snickers from past his lips. Lily was giggling too at the comment. “What?” she asked, taking a sip of orange juice that Lily had poured out for her into a crystal glass.

“It’s pesto sauce, not green gravy ,” James said, eyes sparkling with mirth.

“Oh, my bad.” Hattie gave him a slightly abashed grin. It was weird seeing her smile at him, without her trying to mock him. It felt pleasant too, being able to joke with her without her blowing up at him.

This is all just temporary, he reminded himself inwardly. This wasn’t the person that his daughter truly was, and no matter how depressing it was, the truth remained that she would return to her usual self once she regained her memories. Nevertheless, he passed the pasta dish back towards her, and he had to tamper down his pleasure when she actually served herself seconds. 

Lily observed their interaction with a satisfied smile and seemed ecstatic that their daughter was eating properly for once. “Looks like you two are going to get along swimmingly without me.”

Hattie’s head snapped towards her so fast that James was surprised she didn’t get whiplash. “What? Where are you going?”

“I have work, darling. Remember when I told you I’m the Runes Professor at Hogwarts?” Lily reminded her gently and her daughter nodded. “James has taken time off to stay with you until summer, and then it will be me and my girl spending time together.” Lily squeezed Hattie’s hand, and James knew that there was no doubt that this was another person, because Harriet Potter never liked affection from her parents. “In the meantime, I’m afraid you’ll just have to suffer this one’s company.” 

“I resent that, Lily Potter!” James exclaimed, in response to Lily’s falsely haughty look in his direction. 

Hattie still appeared distraught, but she stayed silent, like she was used to things not going her way, which James would have usually thought was ridiculous. Everything always went her way. James and Lily let her get away with everything. Even when they introduced consequences to her bad actions, she always got the easier end of the deal.

He wondered how her experiences differed in this other life. He and Lily only knew the basics from her Mind Healer: he and Lily were supposedly dead and Tom was an evil Dark Lord.

“I can go back to school,” Hattie offered, quietly. “I don’t want to disrupt your lives.” Her expression was contrite, and it tugged at James’ heartstrings. No matter how much of an arsehole she was with her memories, she was still his kid. Currently, she wasn’t even being an arsehole, so James felt considerably warmer towards her. 

“Nonsense,” said Lily, in a tone that broached no further discussion. “The Healer said it would be best for you to recover at home, so that’s exactly what we’re going to do. We’re your parents - we love you and we always want what’s best for you.”

“What she said,” James muttered, but his comment had no effect on the teenager, who was staring at her mother with utter devastation in her eyes. 

Abruptly, Hattie was throwing her arms around Lily with such a ferocity that James thought she was trying to attack her. To his wild astonishment, the girl was shaking with sobs. “I’ve missed you my whole life- It’s not fair-”

Lily seemed at a loss of what to say to comfort her - neither of them really understood the details or the implications of this other life that she had apparently “lived.” His wife seemed pleased to be able to comfort their daughter, an expression of bliss on her gorgeous face, as she held her close.

James trailed behind uneasily as he watched Lily lead their daughter to the living room, an arm wrapped around Hattie’s shoulders to guide her, and she swaddled Hattie in blankets on the couch and switched the television on, letting the girl pick out whatever movie she wanted. She rested her head on Lily’s lap, letting Lily play with her hair, her eyes glazed over and a smile on her face. He didn’t think Hattie was seeing whatever was being played on the television. 

It made him fearful thinking about what was going on in his daughter’s mind, that she had turned into this broken, crying mess from the fierce girl that had enjoyed irritating her parents at every given opportunity. He also fretted over how Lily was going to go back to having a daughter who hated her, instead of a daughter who was currently clinging to her like a lifeline. His wife was going to be utterly destroyed and heartbroken.

In the late afternoon, Lily had to leave for Hogwarts as she ran evening tutoring sessions on the weekend for her older students who were preparing to take their exams. The look of unbearable longing on Hattie’s face as they said their farewells was so painful that James had to look away. 

This is just temporary. She’s going to go back to hating us again soon.

The living room was quiet once Lily had departed, the television fading to just a low hum in the background. James sat in an armchair adjacent to the couch, watching his daughter who laid on her back and stared up at the ceiling. She looked exceedingly young and small covered by the large blankets. 

Hattie tilted her head back to look at him, smiling shyly when she already saw him looking. She opened her mouth to say something but clearly thought better of it and went back to staring at the ceiling awkwardly. James looked away when she did, training his gaze on the television which displayed a football match. 

Unable to handle the silence, James cleared his throat, expelling a loud, hoarse sound. Hattie pressed her palm to her hand, trying to muffle the sound of her giggles. James laughed a little nervously too. This was easy: she was laughing, James could laugh too - James loved laughing. What were they laughing about though?

“What’s up?” James inquired, trying to keep the atmosphere casual and feeling like he failed miserably. He leaned his elbow on the armrest of the armchair, resting his chin in his palm. 

Hattie sat up slowly on the couch, the blanket draped over her shoulders now. She smiled at him sheepishly. “Nothing. I just find weird things funny. Like, I was just thinking that it would never usually be this quiet when my uncle watches football.” She gestured to the TV where the muggle game was still playing.

“Moony watches football?” James looked at the TV like it had personally offended him. He was surprised that he didn’t know such a crucial detail about his best friend of twenty-five years. The uncle she was talking about definitely couldn’t be Sirius because he was too jittery to sit through any sport. Sirius always got bored whilst watching Quidditch matches; James always had to drag him to games.

“No, Uncle Vernon,” Hattie answered, absentmindedly observing the game. James turned his head towards her slowly, because when had Hattie ever spent any time with Lily’s wretched brother-in-law? Lily would never allow it after the fiasco that Petunia and Vernon had caused at their wedding. 

Perhaps this was another part of the life she had invented as a result of the trauma to her brain, as the Healers had determined. There was suddenly screaming from the television and James’ gaze flipped back to see the ball go in the net. “Oh, look at that! They scored!”

“No, it’s offside,” said Hattie, and a moment later, the referee blew the whistle whilst waving a flag and the score went back to what it was before.

James gaped, flabbergasted. “HUH?! Why did they take it off?”

Hattie was looking at him carefully. She had edged away from him a little bit, though he wasn’t sure why. “Um, you’re offside if you’re in your opponent's half - so the half of the pitch where you’re meant to be scoring - and there aren’t two opposing players closer to the goal than you. So the goal doesn’t count.”

“That’s a dumb rule,” James scoffed. “They don’t have anything like that in Quidditch.”

“I guess,” Hattie shrugged. “But football can be fun too.”

James didn’t get much time to watch TV due to the long hours he worked, and when he was free. he wanted to spend time with his wife and friends. Tonight, he had the time and football was pretty interesting. “What are these team’s names?” James wondered aloud near the end of the game. The scoreboard only read “CHE” and “ARS.”

“Chelsea and Arsenal,” Hattie replied, also engrossed in the TV. “Chelsea’s my favourite team, actually. They don’t always do the best but…” It was the team that Dudley and Uncle hated the most, which was why Hattie had supported them since she was five.

“Well, they’re doing good today,” James said, encouragingly.

“Yep,” Hattie gave him a wide grin. “Winning 1-0 against a Top 4 Club is pretty cool!”

“Top 4 Club?” James inquired, curiously. “Is there a football league, like in Quidditch?”

“Yep, there are loads,” Hattie nodded, alternating between looking at the screen and at her Dad. “There’s twenty football clubs in the Premier league, which is the English League, and the Top Four Clubs from it go through to the Champions league, which has the best clubs from the main leagues in Europe, such as England's Premier League, France's Ligue 1, Italy's Serie A and Spain’s La Liga.”

“Wow.” The information intrigued James, but for more reasons than one. His daughter’s creation of her mind must run pretty deep if she even knew so much about this muggle sport. The real version of his daughter had nursed an aversion for anything even slightly muggle, due to the influence of her bigoted friends. “Quidditch should have a Champions League too.”

“Yeah, it should,” Hattie agreed. James reckoned she hadn’t agreed with him on anything since she could speak.

Chelsea scored and Hattie cheered, throwing her fists up in the air. James clapped along, bestowing a grudgingly fond smile at his daughter. It felt nice being able to do something with her, to share joy with her on something. There wasn’t much he shared in common with the real version of his daughter.

The match came to a close and Hattie settled against the couch, looking satisfied. She turned to James, and he was taken-aback to see her looking at him so tentatively. “Did you like that match?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, inwardly cursing at the awkwardness returning to the conversation now that the match was over. 

“That’s good. I’m glad,” she beamed at him and he was absolutely taken with how adorable this version of his daughter was. It’s not going to last. “Do you fancy yourself a Chelsea supporter now?” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively whilst wearing a stern expression, to show she was only half -joking.

“I don’t know…” James sighed heavily, matching her theatrics with his own. “I usually only support winning teams so I’ll have to see if they win any more often.”

“Dad! That’s awful!” she gasped, but shocked giggles escaped her. “You can’t support a team just because they’re good, otherwise everyone will just say you’re a glory supporter.”

“Really? I didn’t get that memo.” He pretended to puzzle over her comment, his brows furrowed. “I’m only joking - my favourite Quidditch team is the Cannons and I’m told that they’re the worst.”

The moment the comment slipped past his lips, James immediately regretted it. Usually, any mention of the Chudley Cannons was enough to trigger an argument between him and his daughter, as Hattie’s favourite team were the Tornados, the Cannons’ biggest rivals. Whenever James brought the team up, Hattie would shoot a scathing comment his way and then the house was at risk of blowing up, if it wasn’t for Lily’s interventions. 

However, today Hattie seemed excited at the mention of them. “Really? The Cannons are my best friend’s favourite team too! You both would get along really well, I think.” 

Most of Hattie’s friends were pureblood bigots, who hated James and his ideologies and his wife, or her friends were figments of her imagination, from some other life she had created. Either way, James wasn’t about to be buddies with any of her friends. 

Although, he deigned not to say any of that: he and Hattie had made more progress in their relationship during a game of football than they had in the past six years. A mournful look crossed Hattie’s face, one that he couldn’t decipher the cause of.

Oh . He remembered why she was so tentative around them, so shy, so upset, so desperate. He recalled what she had said when she had woken up and during her therapy sessions. She thought that he and Lily were dead. She had clearly drawn the same conclusion as him, that for those friends to exist, James and Lily would be deceased. 

It occurred to him how peculiar, how terrifying this must be for her to meet versions of her dead parents, parents who had no cause to miss her because she had always been in their life. He wondered how awful it must be for her to now have a father who was terribly awkward and abrupt around her due to the actions of some alternate version of herself.

It was unfair for James to hold against her the actions of the daughter that he had raised.

He was suddenly desperate to remove that deeply melancholic look from her face so he blurted out, “Do you want to eat ice cream for dinner?” It always used to cheer her up when she was seven years old.

“Ice cream for dinner? Really? Is that allowed?” she wondered curiously.

“Well, I’m the parent so I make the rules,” James said, puffing out his chest and sitting up proudly.

Hattie laughed and James’ heart soared at being the one to have alleviated her sadness. God, he was going to be just as fucking distraught as Lily when everything went back to normal.

That evening found them sitting in Florean Fortescue’s quiet ice cream parlour. A large strawberry ice cream sundae with rainbow sprinkles sat in front of Hattie, whilst James was digging into a mint chocolate chip sundae. 

“Strawberry is so boring,” James told her, shaking his head judgmentally. He kept his tone light, still used to her blowing up at the smallest comment. 

However, this new version of her was clearly more easygoing for she only pretended to be outraged, whilst wearing a wide grin, something he thought had become somewhat a default expression on her face, as well as her being prone to constant bouts of melancholia. “I love strawberry flavoured stuff!” She pointed her spoon at his mint chocolate chip bowl. “And you can not judge with your toothpaste flavoured ice cream!”

“It does not taste like toothpaste. I hate when people say that!” James whined, hugging his bowl close to him like he was trying to protect it from the comment.  

“Sure it doesn’t, Dad,” she said, sceptically. Hattie froze when she realised what she had said and searched his face for a reaction, but James schooled his features to keep his face neutral. After all, she had called him “Dad” her entire life. This whole orphan thing only existed in her head.

He ignored the aching in his heart that occurred when he thought of an angel like this version of his daughter growing up without parents. This version of her deserved to be spoiled and showered with affection, but this version was still his daughter. It was just his daughter with memory loss.

James just didn’t know what would be left of himself once he gave her all his love. What would he have left of himself when Hattie went back to hating him and Lily?

Chapter Text

Hattie huffed. Despite her tossing and turning and covering her eyes, she was unable to get to sleep in this comfortable bed. The mattress was soft like she was sleeping in a cloud and she could feel herself sinking in. 

However, the blinking and moving figures in the Quidditch posters that covered every square inch of the walls was keeping her up. She found it incredibly disturbing, like there were actually people in the room, watching her sleep.

With a groan, she scrambled out of her bed, grabbing her pillow and blanket and opening the closet door. The closet was very large, in fact it was large enough that she could comfortably curl up inside with her blanket and pillow. It reminded her of the cupboard that she had slept in for eleven years of her life. She shut the door of the closet, grateful for the reprieve from the staring faces.

It felt like she had only just shut her eyes when an erratic voice was shouting her name from outside the closet. “HATTIE!”

Aunt Petunia?

But then she recognised her father’s voice and the memories from yesterday, of spending the day with her parents, came rushing back to her and an unbidden smile sprung forth on her lips. She pushed open the closet door, pulling herself up into a sitting position. “Dad? I’m in here?”

James was standing in the centre of her bedroom, staring in horror at her empty bed, and his panic subsided when he spotted her, giving way to confusion. He crouched in front of her, making sure not to crowd her space, his eyes raking over her pillow and blanket. “Hattie… What are you doing here?”

“Er- I couldn’t sleep with all those posters watching me,” Hattie mumbled, feeling like an idiot now that she was saying it aloud. She was unable to meet his eyes due to her embarrassment.

James was silent, and Hattie bit her lip, staring down at her hands. He definitely thought that she was crazy, just like her Mind Healers.

A tearing sound filled the room and she looked up to see James delicately ripping the posters off of the walls, taking care to bring no damage to the posters themselves. “Er- Dad? What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” he snarked, but there was a joking grin on his face as he looked at her over his shoulder.  “I can’t have you sleeping on the closet floor - it’s terrible for your back in the long term. Help me get these off. But be careful not to rip them, or else you’ll kill me once you get your memories back!”

“If you say so.” Hattie shrugged, before cautiously starting to peel the posters off the wall. She appreciated that he hadn’t mocked her for being wary of the moving posters. Some of the paint was peeling off the wall as she removed the posters and she looked at the patchy walls in horror. The side of the walls that James had removed the posters from looked even worse: James had removed entire chunks of paint. 

James laughed at the horrified look on her face. He hurried to reassure her, “It’s fine, it’s fine! I’ll just repaint it! I’ve been meaning to renovate the house anyway, and there’s no better time than the present, especially when I have two months off work.” He seemed giddy at the prospect.

“Can I help?” she asked, hesitantly. She didn’t really know much about painting - she just wanted to spend time with her dad. Although they had bonded yesterday, she still wasn’t sure if he had warmed up to her completely. 

James’ entire face lit up brighter than the sun. “Of course you can!” He immediately tried to downplay his excitement at spending time with his daughter. “I mean, I’m gonna need all the help I can get - I usually just pay people to do this kind of stuff.”

“OK! Brilliant!” She ducked her head to hide her own excited smile - perhaps her Dad was warming up to her after all.

“Get dressed and then we’ll leave after you eat breakfast, alright?” She nodded her confirmation as he left the room.

Rifling through her wardrobe, she contemplated what to wear. Her clothes were more refined than what she was used to, considering her regular outfits consisted of Dudley’s hand-me-downs or random junk that Aunt Petunia had scavenged from charity shops. After a moment of deliberation, she picked out something casual: a long-sleeve, black, fitted T-shirt and a pair of low rise flare jeans. She also grabbed some plain underwear.

Balancing her garments over her arm, she headed out of her room to the bathroom across the hall to quickly shower and brush her teeth. She stripped out of her pajamas and stepped into the shower. The hot water cascaded down her back, and she lathered the raspberry body scrub all over herself.

Switching off the shower, she stepped out, observing her reflection in the large bathroom mirror. Her body was much the same as she remembered, from that other life that she had supposedly “invented.” She still appeared thin and malnourished, her light brown waves were still long, although they were no longer frizzy, but instead soft and smooth, much like her mother’s gorgeous hair. Her chest remained on the smaller side, her skin still pale, as always, but she was surprised to find a belly button piercing shaped like a butterfly. She thought it looked quite pretty.

From downstairs, James called for her, “Breakfast is ready, Hattie!”

“Coming, Dad!” she called back, ending her musings and quickly towel-drying her body and hair, before pulling on her clothes. She pulled her semi-dry hair into a low, loose ponytail and dumped her pajamas into the laundry basket in the corner of the bathroom. Unlocking the bathroom door, she bounded down the stairs hurriedly and into the kitchen where her Dad was sitting at the table. Two plates of scrambled eggs and toast were laid out with a jug of orange juice.

“Come and eat,” James beckoned her to the table, taking a slow slurp from the mug of coffee. Hattie took the seat opposite her Dad and immediately dug in, though she slowed at the rancid taste of the eggs. James was watching eagerly. “Is it good? I made it all by myself.”

It seemed that James wasn’t very competent at cooking when he didn’t have Lily breathing instructions down his neck. Still, Hattie smiled at him through her disgust, because her father had put his all into making breakfast for her. “It’s great, Dad. Thank you so much.”

James preened, his chest puffing out proudly. Hattie painstakingly shovelled every bit of food on her plate, not wanting to upset her father. Once she was done, she washed it all down with a glass of orange juice, hoping the food would actually stay down.

After breakfast, Hattie helped her very surprised father with the dishes. His astonishment puzzled her because surely Hattie wasn’t a sloth who expected her parents to do everything for her, right?

There was a muggle shop called B&Q, to where James would be driving them to buy the paint for her bedroom. Apparently they only used the car when venturing out to the muggle world. Hattie was about to get into the backseat, but James held the door to the passenger side open for her. 

“Thanks, Dad,” she beamed. Uncle Vernon would never hold the door open for anyone, not even for his wife . Her dad was so much better than him.

James got into the driver’s seat, and they both clicked in their seatbelts. “Let’s rock and roll!” James exclaimed, before proceeding to drive at a speed of 20mph on a road where the speed limit was 30mph. Not very rock and roll, if you asked Hattie.

“Dad? Why are you driving so slowly?” Hattie asked, a few minutes into the drive.

“Safety first, Harriet,” he said, wearing a solemn look. The man in the car behind them honked at them, before overtaking their car. “Oh, fuck you!” James immediately sped up, trying to overtake the car. Hattie’s head tipped back as she laughed freely. “Sorry, Hattie-girl. I was trying to be responsible but that car just messed with the wrong Dad.”

“Get him, Dad!”

Hattie didn’t know how they made it to the paint shop without getting pulled over by the police. James Potter must be a very lucky man, Hattie reckoned.

Once they grabbed a trolley, father and daughter both walked into the shop, James pushing the trolley, whilst Hattie walked by his side, keeping one hand on the bar of the trolley. “What colour do you want to paint your room, Missy?”

“I don’t know,” she said, overwhelmed by the wall full of colour swatches. “There’s so many options…”

“Yeah,” James agreed, his arms crossed as they both stood staring at the wall dedicated to the many colour options.

Their moment of contemplation was interrupted by a woman behind them awkwardly clearing her throat. “Uh… Excuse me.”

“Oh, sorry!” They both immediately scrambled to move out of her way, allowing her to step forward so that she could also pick out her colours. The result was that the woman stood between both father and daughter, who kept exchanging glances over her.

“We’re painting my daughter’s room,” James told the random woman conversationally. 

“How… nice.”

“It is, isn’t it?” James grinned at the woman, peering over the woman’s head to also beam at his daughter. “You picked out any colours for your room yet, little Miss?”

“Well, I’ve picked out a few… I haven’t decided on one though,” said Hattie, holding up colour swatches of lavender, fuchsia pink, cyan blue and bottle green.

“I have a great idea!” James exclaimed, so suddenly that Hattie startled and the woman picking out paint colours scrambled away from them. James stared after her for her abrupt departure. “What’s her problem? Anyway!” His gaze trained back on his daughter, his excitement returning tenfold. “You have four walls in your room, right? So let’s paint your room all four colours!” He waited for her to burst into applause at the idea.

“Er- seriously?” Hattie didn’t know how she felt about the idea. “Won’t it look kind of tacky?” The colours didn’t exactly complement one another.

“Nonsense,” he waved her off. “It’s gonna look great! But we can do something different if you’d like?” James suggested, and he looked so earnest that it would physically pain her to shatter his excitement.

“Nope. Your idea is great, Dad.”

Hattie didn’t truly care about the colours: she just wanted to spend time with her Dad.

The cool air felt heavenly on his face as Sirius Black stepped out of the Ministry of Magic. His butt ached from sitting in a rigid chair all day long, filing paperwork and whatnot. This was definitely not what he signed up for when he became an Auror, but he supposed the missions spent catching Dark wizards and murderers and kidnappers made up for the more dull part of the job. 

However, Sirius desperately needed to unwind after his droll day at the Auror office. 

His husband was in Hogwarts, but he was too exhausted to make the trek up the Hogwarts grounds to Remus’ living quarters. Lily was also at Hogwarts, Marlene and Dorcas were on holiday and Frank and Alice were undercover on an Auror mission. Peter had been locked up in the psych ward at St Mungo’s for over a decade, after his screw had gone loose and he had murdered twelve muggles with one spell. That left his best friend and pseudo brother, James. 

As ashamed as he was to admit it, Sirius had been steering clear of the Potter household in the current times. He and Hattie had shared a rocky relationship, ever since the girl had been eight years old and had been fiercely jealous of her godfather and Remus adopting Tom. Things had only gotten worse when she went to Hogwarts and started spewing the pureblood propaganda that she had picked up, the girl going as far as being ashamed of her own parents and the werewolf that she had called “Uncle Moony” her entire life.

Her behaviour infuriated Sirius to no end. Some of the friends that kept her company were a bunch of bullies at Hogwarts; it made him anxious about how Tom was treated by the group at Hogwarts, although his son had never said anything. 

Sirius wouldn’t be surprised if the whole memory loss situation with Hattie was a farce to cause her parents more undue stress. 

Apparating to his friend’s cottage in Godric’s Hollow was more of an effort than usual in his drained state. When he finally made it to their doorstep, he unlocked the door with the key that James and Lily had given him when they had first moved in. They all had keys to one another’s properties.

Sirius pushed the door open, and was unsurprised to hear music blasting from upstairs. Hattie always had music playing loudly to irritate her parents. Although, he was surprised to find that the music was more fitting of Sirius, Remus and James’ tastes: Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler was playing. Hattie never listened to muggle music.

Kicking his shoes off and placing them on the shoe rack, a habit that Lily had drilled into him, Sirius called out for his friend loudly, in order to be heard over the music,  “Prongs?”

There was no answer. He yelled this time, too lazy to investigate, “PRONGS!”

The music stopped, and a head appeared over the railing of the stairs. “PADFOOT? It’s been days - where have you been?!” In typical James fashion, he didn’t wait for a response. “Come upstairs, I need to show you something!”

Sirius really wasn’t in the mood to go up the stairs, but with an exaggerated huff, he dragged himself up the stairs, making sure to stomp his feet to show his displeasure. James had disappeared again. “Which room are you in?” James’ cottage was pretty big, and he wasn’t in the mood to wander.

“In Hattie’s room!”

“ Why ?” Sirius wrinkled his nose in displeasure, gingerly pushing open the door to the teenager’s room. 

The sight that met his eyes was incredibly overstimulating: all the furniture in the room was protected by plastic sheets, the walls had all been painted different colours of fuschia pink, lavender, cyan and bottle green and in the centre of the room stood the father-daughter duo, both beaming and looking exceedingly proud of themselves. 

The resemblance between the two had never been more striking than it did in this moment, their smiles identical. Sirius couldn’t remember the last time they had both smiled in each other’s vicinity. 

“Hi Sirius!” Hattie greeted, her expression positively bubbly to see him. The contrast to her usual distant demeanour deeply unnerved the man - maybe she really did lose her memory.

“What do you think?” James demanded, gesturing to the walls.

“Wow…” Sirius couldn’t resist chuckling as he responded. “Were you painting the walls or yourselves?” They were both covered in splashes of paint from head to toe.

“Shut up,” James grumbled, but his annoyance with Sirius was only temporary as always. “Good to see you, mate. I would hug you but…” He gestured to his messy attire.

“Yeah, keep your hugs to yourself, pal,” answered Sirius, feigning distaste.

James rolled his eyes at his best friend, before turning to his daughter, who Sirius was again perturbed to see had been watching their interaction closely, wearing an odd smile. “Do you want to go clean up before dinner, Missy? I’ll keep this one company.” James slapped Sirius on the back.

Hattie nodded, grabbing some clothes from her wardrobe before heading out, shooting a smile at James and Sirius. Sirius’ eyes were wide, the moment she left, and James nodded at his friend, already aware of what he was thinking. “I know right?!”

The two best friends headed downstairs, Sirius having an existential crisis as he followed James into the kitchen to sit on the chairs at the table, since James was dirty and didn’t want to soil the fancy sofas. 

“Whose kid is that?! Why is she being so nice?!” demanded Sirius. “I thought you two would have killed each other by now, but you’re acting like best pals?!”

“I know ,” James repeated, leaning forward from across the table and Sirius unconsciously mirrored him. “It’s like my kid’s been body-snatched by an angel! She likes football and strawberry ice cream and she loves me and Lily!”

“She must have hit her head pretty hard,” murmured Sirius, and James nodded with a snort. 

“She likes you too,” James added, and Sirius raised an eyebrow for him to explain. “In this other life that the Healers say she’s made up, you were her godfather there too. You were pretty close apparently, considering Lily and I were ‘dead’ .”

“Me and her? Close?” Sirius echoed, sceptical of the idea. “Pigs would probably fly before us two became close.”

“Hey, that’s not too far-fetched. All we need is a Wingardium Leviosa and-”

“Shut up,” Sirius deadpanned, and James laughed boisterously. “Lily is going to be so mad about the colours you painted the kid’s room, you know. What were you thinking?!” Sirius was positively gleeful at the idea of his best friend getting scolded.

“Nah, Lily lets Hattie get away with anything,” James reasoned easily, and Sirius’ mood soured at the reminder. Maybe if they had been more stern with her, it wouldn’t have taken her losing her memory to become a decent person. He didn’t voice that, however, It was everybody’s own choice how they raised their own children. Personally, Sirius inflated with pride whenever he thought of his perfect Tom and his good grades and how everyone at Hogwarts loved him, staff and students alike. 

“Besides,” James continued. “I think we did a great job with her room.”

“I agree, Dad,” said Hattie, stepping into the kitchen. Her waves were wet and she was clad in a pink and white floral, fitted, long sleeve top and a matching set of baggy pajama pants. She sat down at the table, next to James.

“I’m glad, considering it is your room,” said James, and Sirius was surprised to see the expression of bliss on his face. His best friend was truly happy. It made Sirius uncomfortable to think what would happen once Hattie regained her memories. “I’m going to go shower. Will you keep this one company for me?” He pointed at Sirius over his shoulder.

“ This one can hear you,” Sirius said sweetly, and Hattie and James both laughed, the sound eerily similar. James smoothed his hand over his daughter’s hair affectionately before leaving, and Sirius was even more puzzled when the girl leaned into the touch. Once, when James and Lily had tried to hug her after her second year at Hogwarts, she had screamed at them not to touch her in front of everyone on the platform. They hadn’t tried again after that.

“Sirius, order dinner. Whatever you like,” James called from the hallway, before bounding up the stairs.

“Makes me do everything,” Sirius complained, more to himself, but Hattie laughed quietly. This was odd, he didn’t know how to act around a sweet version of his goddaughter. Sirius grabbed the telephone that Lily had installed in the home. Lily had engraved runes to all the muggle appliances in the home so that they wouldn’t go awry from being exposed to magic. “What would you like?” he asked the teenager.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Hattie said, anxious at being asked her opinion. She twiddled her fingers. “I’ll just have whatever you and Dad want.”

“Alright,” Sirius shrugged, not waiting to press the matter, because she probably didn’t remember what she truly liked anyway. “I think I’m going to order Indian.”

Once Sirius had ordered the food, they both sat in silence. Whenever they made eye contact, Hattie would smile at him and Sirius would give a fake, strained smile back. He didn’t want to grow attached to a temporary version of his goddaughter, like James clearly had. He was desperate for his best friend to return, so that the awkwardness in the room would dissipate.

“Sirius? Can I ask you a question?” He wasn’t expecting her to actually speak.

“You just did,” he said, slightly amused by his own joke. 

“Oh,” Hattie seemed stumped. “Can I ask you another question?”

“You just asked one again,” he quipped, and she sighed. It made him take pity on her. “I’m only joking, go on.”

She perked up. “That boy who was with you in the hospital wing the other day… Tom Riddle… The Healers said he’s your son. Is that true?” Sirius nodded stiffly, fiercely protective of his son. “Oh. Do you, um, love him?” She seemed averse to the prospect. “Is he a good person?”

“Of course I love him,” Sirius scoffed, like it was obvious. Which it was. Her repulsion regarding his son did not endear her to him - it seemed that some things would never change even with memory loss, one of them being Harriet Potter’s irrational dislike towards his son.  “He’s my son . And I think he’s incredible.”

“Oh.” She looked even more baffled now. The ring on his finger caught her eye. He could tell that she wanted to ask, but wasn’t sure if she was permitted to ask from how cold he was towards her. 

Sirius forced the stiffness away from his posture, trying to relax in the presence of this odd caricature of his goddaughter. “You can ask, if you want to.” Again, he was taking pity on this girl, who hardly knew anything about the life she had led. As long as she was polite and didn’t say anything untoward about his son, he had no qualms about answering her questions.

“Are you married?” she asked, ecstatically. “To who?”

“Yes,” he replied, unsure what to make of her excitement for him. “I’m married to Remus. For ten years now. We’re very happy with our son.” He steeled himself for her disgust about him being married to a werewolf but it never came.

“Professor Lupin?” she repeated, flabbergasted. But there was no revulsion in her tone, just eagerness to get to know Sirius. “Wow. I didn’t even know you guys liked each other like that.” Her smile was blinding. “I’m really happy for you, Sirius.” She reached across the table to squeeze his hand and the authenticity of her expression made him unable to pull away. “You deserve to always be happy.”

“Uh, thank you,” Sirius cleared his throat uncomfortably. She clearly picked up on his discomfort for she retracted her hand from his, yet she still smiled brightly. They didn’t speak up again until James re-entered the room and Sirius’ relief was immeasurable. “Prongs! I ordered the food!”

“Alright…” said James, unsure why his friend’s voice was so high-pitched.

James’ return meant that the balance in the room was returned and the atmosphere became relaxed again. Light chatter filled the room and Hattie didn’t really speak unless spoken to (usually James brought her into the conversation). “You can go to your room if you’re bored of us old farts,” James said to her. “I’ll call you down when dinner gets here.”

“The only old fart in this room is you, James Potter,” Sirius scowled at the man, who was five months younger than Sirius. 

“I want to sit with you both,” Hattie said simply, sitting cross-legged on the chair next to James.

“OK,” James said, his eyes softening and Sirius knew at that moment that he wanted to preserve this easy, affectionate camaraderie in the Potter household, if it meant that his best friend would always be happy. The girl was polite and angelic and Sirius considerably warmed up to her. However, he was still reserving his judgement on her to see how she would behave around his son: any rudeness or hostility, like she used to behave, and Sirius would be done with her.

Dinner arrived and as always, James insisted that he would pay. “I’m not poor, you know?” huffed Sirius. 

“I know, but I like doing nice things for my family.”

And that was that. 

Hattie didn’t serve herself much at dinner, another habit of hers that hadn’t changed, Sirius realised. She only served herself when James directly prompted her, to both the men’s confusion. At first, she had eaten quickly and Sirius exchanged a look with James, who shook his head fiercely at him, indicating not to say anything.

But it seemed that she had picked up on the looks they shared for she slowed down, to Sirius’ relief. When she finished her very small portion, James pushed the dish back to her, without saying anything, remaining engaged in conversation with Sirius, who pretended not to notice his best friend’s smile when his daughter actually ate more.

After dinner, they watched a movie on the television, and Sirius chatted for the entirety of it, which tended to infuriate Remus and Lily. James, on the other hand, had no problem with listening to Sirius ramble. Sirius sat on the couch to James’ left, whilst Hattie was curled up on James’ right. Her eyelids were drooping from where she laid her head on James’ shoulder, his arm wrapped around her shoulder.

Sirius was horrified to find that his best friend’s eyes had suddenly welled up with tears. “Prongs!” he whisper-shouted, not wanting to wake up the girl. “What’s wrong?!”

“Nothing,” James sniffed, wiping at his eyes with the hand that wasn’t around his daughter. He was also whispering so his daughter wouldn’t wake up. “It’s just- I finally have everything I’ve ever wanted…” His voice cracked. “Is it bad that I want her to stay like this? That’s bad, right? I should want her to get better, shouldn’t I?”

Sirius didn’t know what to say to console his best friend, so he just sat with him, nodding like he understood.

Chapter Text

Every Saturday, Tom, Sirius and Remus had dinner together with the Potters, even when Tom was at Hogwarts. At school they hosted these dinners in Lily or Remus’ spacious living quarters at the castle, all of them taking turns to cook. Neither James nor Sirius were incredibly competent in the kitchen so they usually required a lot of assistance from their other halves when it was their turn. 

These dinners had been cancelled for the past several weeks as Lily had been making frequent trips home to care for her amnesiac daughter. Tom almost couldn’t believe that she had lost her memory until he saw the fear in her eyes. Of him.

Hattie Potter had never feared him. Since the first day he had met her at eight years old, a week after he had been adopted by Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, she had despised him. She was used to being the centre of their universe, as well as her own parents’, and throwing another child into the mix had grated on her nerves. 

To start with, she would display her contempt with petty acts of jealousy: they mainly consisted of talking over Tom whenever he spoke and trying to outdo him at the Muggle primary school they both attended pre-Hogwarts (it never worked - Hattie had never been the most academically inclined, whereas Tom was perhaps the brightest student in the history of the universe). Whenever James or Sirius or Lily or Remus hugged Tom, Hattie would immediately also demand a hug, which had to last longer than the hug shared with Tom or she would throw a tantrum.

Tom could hurt her if he wanted. He could use his magic to scare her so that she never crossed him again. But he saw how fond both of his adoptive parents were of her, even when she was being a menace to them. In the back of his mind, Tom always feared that they could get rid of him at the drop of a hat if he did anything untoward, even though they had shown him nothing but care and affection. 

Besides, Hattie Potter was merely an irritating fly compared to what Tom had dealt with at the group home for orphaned wizarding children. He would take a million Hatties over the mere possibility of returning to that dreadful place, with those horrific older children who loved any excuse to punch Tom.

Demanding hugs had stopped when Hattie met Draco Malfoy at eleven years old. After that, her feelings of contempt and loathing had extended to both of her parents, as well as Tom’s adoptive parents. Her preteen years brought screaming matches with her parents, with her godfather, with Remus. Until she just started avoiding them all.

Even at school, Hattie had never gone out of her way to antagonise Tom the way that she antagonised her parents. She mainly just ignored him, choosing to chat with Greengrass whenever Draco taunted one of Tom’s best friends - which were very few in number - Hermione Granger. She was quiet in lessons too, so quiet that Tom occasionally forgot that she existed.

Therefore, Hattie’s anger with her parents and Tom’s parents was uncharacteristic. Perhaps her behaviour could be attributed to being a product of what she kept hidden underneath the silence, because she was disliked in Slytherin at first by the older pureblood students for her muggleborn mother who taught a stupid, muggle subject. She was envied by the younger years for being allowed onto the Quidditch team in her first year, which was against the rules. She was despised by Professor Snape for simply existing, from what Tom could deduce. 

Maybe she channelled all her pent-up frustration towards her parents, because the bullies in Slytherin House conditioned her to loathe her own existence.

Her popularity skyrocketed towards the end of their first year, when she won Slytherin the House Cup. Finally, she belonged with all the snakes, not just with Greengrass and Malfoy and the Quidditch team. Despite her friendship with Malfoy, he had never before attempted to dissuade his cronies from picking on Hattie. Once the tables turned, he revelled in the popularity that him being acquainted with her brought by association.

Tom thanked his luck everyday that he had not ended up in Slytherin, where everyone was hardly what they seemed. In Gryffindor, everyone was noble and righteous. Amongst them, Tom’s duplicity, his ulterior motives were disguised. No one knew that Tom desired glory, recognition.

He also wanted to be in Gryffindor to make his father proud. Sirius Black was the most Gryffindor person that Tom had ever met.

On the first Sunday in May, Remus found him near the end of breakfast. As he approached him at the Gryffindor table, Tom smiled up at him goodnaturedly. The students around him all shuffled nervously at the teacher approaching, although their reaction was much calmer than if it were McGonagall. Remus was quite lax with most rules. “Morning Professor Lupin. Come to have breakfast with us?”

“Morning Mr Riddle. Not today, I’m afraid,” Remus grinned at his adoptive son. He sat down at the table momentarily, next to Tom. He kindly smiled at Hermione, his son’s best friend and also his academic rival. In Tom’s first year, they had both been constantly trying to one-up the other in classes until they realised that they could use one another to boost their own knowledge. It was a friendship that had been born of convenience, which was a pattern with Tom, but somehow - with his parents’ encouragement due to Tom having no real friends, just admirers - he had grown to care for Hermione. “Hello Hermione. How are you?”

“I’m good, thank you,” Hermione beamed at the Professor. Both her parents and Tom’s parents were quite close due to Tom and Hermione’s meet-ups over the summer. During which they studied. And debated magical theory. And tried to invent their own spells and runes. And argued about both muggle and magical history. Sirius always moaned and groaned and grumbled about how boring it all was but Remus hushed him every time. Their son was a little too studious but far be it for them to stop him. “How are you?”

“Very good, thank you,” he returned, before directing his attention back to Tom. “I won’t take too much of your time, I know it must be very embarrassing to sit with your Dad at breakfast-”

“You know I don’t care about that, Remus.” Tom had never called either of his adoptive parents “Dad” or “Father.” He knew they were not his biological parents and he appreciated that. His real parents had abandoned him. Calling them by their names reminded him everyday that there were two people who had chosen him despite having no blood relation to him. They had no sense of duty towards him yet they had still chosen him. He would never feel embarrassed by them. Not like how Hattie felt about her parents.

“I know, I know. I just came to tell you that we’re having dinner at Lily’s place tonight. Sirius is coming up, and James is bringing Hattie as well.” Remus was watching his face very carefully for any sign of discomfort at seeing the girl so Tom carefully schooled his features blank. Remus knew about the constant arguments that Hermione had with Malfoy, arguments which Tom was oftentimes dragged into. His parents both thought Hattie was a common instigator in these arguments, when she was just a silent spectator and only ever spouted pureblood ideology when she was at home to irritate her parents, and Tom had never bothered to correct the assumption. He wanted them to love him more than her. 

“She hasn’t attended one of these dinners since first year. Why the sudden change?” Tom was curious, and by the looks of it, Hermione was too. She was reading the newspaper but her eyes were fixated on one spot. Tom tried not to smile. She always wanted to know everything. 

Hermione was not the only one fascinated by Hattie Potter’s predicament - she was the talk of the rumour mill at the moment. Everyone had seen her hit the ground of the Quidditch pitch. Everyone had watched Madam Hooch trying to resuscitate her. Everyone had seen her come back to life, but she hadn’t regained consciousness. They had taken her to the Hospital Wing immediately, until she could be transferred to St Mungo’s.

“Her memory loss has, um, altered her significantly.” Remus was wary of the listening ears around them and clearly did not want to gossip about his friends’ daughter. “Even Sirius thinks so.”

How interesting. Sirius disliked Hattie more than all of them for the way that she treated her parents, for the pureblood bullshit that she talked about at home. She had once said to Remus that she wished he had died with his Dad when Greyback attacked him, so that she wouldn’t be stuck with such a "shitty defense teacher.” It had all been because Remus had told her not to scream at her mum.

Tom smirked. “Well, I suppose I’ll have to be the judge of that.”

Godric help Hattie Potter.

The evening arrived quickly and Tom passed the mild day sitting outside by the Black Lake with Hermione and some of their other friends. Tom could barely tolerate Seamus, Dean and Ron on a good day so he buried himself in a book. He liked Neville well enough: despite the boy being helpless at most subjects, he was always kind. Tom appreciated kindness in people: it reminded him of Remus. The only Weasley that Tom was fond of - Ginny - sat next to Tom, laughing at her brother and his friends’ idiocy and occasionally whispering something to her boyfriend, Michael, who sat on her other side. Tom despised Michael too but he was sweet with Ginny so Tom did not openly display his hatred.

He did not show his dislike to anyone. Tom Riddle was a lovely, polite boy who was going to achieve great things in the world, everyone always said. He played the role of an extrovert, greeting everyone he knew in the hallways, smiling at peers he had never spoken to, helping the younger years with their homework. Everyone liked him, even many of the Slytherins, despite him being a Gryffindor.

In reality, he could not stand many people. But he knew the importance of being liked, having seen it at the Ministry parties his father had dragged him to on occasion. In order to succeed, you had to network and make connections and many of the children at this school were the children of influential figures in the country, members of the Wizengamot, high-up officials in the Ministry. Many of these children were obviously in Slytherin, which obviously put Tom at a disadvantage due to his House affiliation, but he was thankful to not have to live with those pompous fools everyday. Tom would lose his mind having to be nice to them for every waking second.

These were his favourite moments, when he could just sit under a tree with Hermione and Ginny laughing on either side of him and Neville sprawled out on the grass in front of him. No one bothered Tom when he was reading but Ginny would occasionally lean over to whisper a quip about her brother that would have Tom grinning and muttering back one of his own.

When evening came, he departed from his friends, tugging on Ginny’s braid as he stood up from the grass. She whacked his leg with a glare. “Prick.” 

“Ginevra,” Tom tutted. “What would your mother say?”

Ginny smiled sweetly. “At least I have a mother.” Tom laughed: Ginny was the only one who could get away with talking to him like that. Their friendship had actually started because Tom saw an eleven year-old Ginny fiercely hex a third year in her first week at Hogwarts, when she hadn’t even learned any spells yet. All the while, she was swearing and shouting furiously at the larger boy. Tom liked angry people. On the other hand, Hermione always appeared scandalised by Tom and Ginny’s dark humour. 

“Where are you going?” asked Neville, sounding concerned at his abrupt departure.

“I’m having dinner with my family,” he answered simply. They all knew about his Sunday dinners with his family but they had not occurred for nearly two months due to Hattie’s injury, so they had most likely forgotten about them.

Everyone chorused their goodbyes and Hermione mouthed something that looked like Tell me what happens with Hattie, the conversation that she overheard at breakfast clearly weighing on her mind. Tom quietly snorted: Hermione was very nosy. Much like him, he supposed.

The trek back up to the castle and to Lily’s living quarters took about fifteen minutes due to the extensive grounds, winding hallways and moving staircases. He drolly spoke the password to the door knocker, “Hasta La Vista Baby.” James Potter thought he was very funny for coming up with that one.

The door swung open and Tom closed the door behind him in the hallway, taking his shoes off on the doormat next to the other shoes. Typical of when James and Sirius were in the room together, chatter and laughter reached his ears from the open plan kitchen/living room door that was slightly cracked open. He pushed open the door to the room, quietly entering. 

“There he is!” Sirius exclaimed, jumping up at the sight of his son. Tom endured the cheek-pinching and hair ruffling and exaggerated hugs that Sirius always did to irritate his son.

“Good to see you too, Sirius.” At fifteen years old, Tom was nearly as tall as Sirius, who was quite a tall man. Remus was the tallest of the lot and everyone always said that Tom might grow to be as tall as him, maybe even taller. He liked whenever people compared his likenesses to his parents.

“Stop being so formal with me, I’m your father.” Sirius thought it was hilarious to pretend to scold Tom for random, unnecessary things. “Honestly, teenagers these days, so polite…” He shook his head at James who was behind them.

“One of us has to be in this family,” muttered Tom, but he was smiling. He had missed Sirius and his annoying quirks. “I missed you.” His voice was low so no one else could hear. He hadn’t seen his father since he had come to the school due to Hattie’s injury seven weeks ago.

Sirius’ eyes softened and he slung his arm around Tom’s shoulders and led him into the room. Remus waved at Tom from where he was helping Lily in the kitchen. James was setting the table and grinned at Tom. “Hi Tom, you alright?” He patted the teenager on the back when he nodded. 

“Yeah, you?” Tom’s attention, however, kept straying to the petite girl next to her mother over by the stove. She was clad in a cream cardigan and a light pink skirt, her light brown hair pulled back into a half up-half down style. She had stiffened the moment that she heard him enter and was distractedly stirring the pot, whilst nodding along to something her mother was saying. She kept shooting nervous glances in Tom’s direction but immediately averted her gaze when she saw he was looking.

Lily, Remus and Hattie were bringing over a serving dish each to the table when Lily noticed Tom had arrived. “Tom! When did you arrive, lovely?” She hugged him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Tom smiled back, genuinely. “Just now, Lily. This all looks great.” He gestured to the food that she had set on the table.

“Well, I can’t take all the credit - turns out, my Hattie’s quite the culinary expert.” Lily squeezed her daughter’s shoulder, who smiled shyly at her mother, her cheeks colouring. “We were just waiting for you, Tom. Everyone, grab a seat. I’ll just go get the last of the food.”

“I’ll help!” Hattie immediately offered and Lily smoothed a hand fondly over her daughter’s smooth waves. Tom raised an eyebrow as they retreated over to the kitchen area in the room, because Hattie had never helped her mother willingly in his living memory, and Sirius mouthed “ I KNOW!!!!!” to him, miming his brain exploding. James nudged his best friend to shut up, a mildly displeased expression forming on his face. It was pretty tactless on Sirius’ part, considering Hattie was just a few feet away.

They all sat down at the table for six, Sirius and Tom next to each other and Remus and James sitting opposite them, leaving the ends of the table unoccupied. Lily and Hattie brought over the serving dishes and the older woman took the end closest to Tom and James, probably to keep distance between Hattie and Tom, the two people with the most animosity between them in the room. Everyone knew that Hattie’s memory loss (psychotic break, Tom called it in his head, although no one at this table would appreciate that pseudonym) had led her to believe that he was some sort of evil overlord.

Which Tom thought was ridiculous. He would never try to forcibly control the country. What he really wanted was everyone to be so enamoured and charmed by his intellect that they elected him as Minister of Magic. He wanted every higher-up’s child that he had ever charmed to attempt to charm him, to grovel before him. 

He also wanted to improve the country too, of course. But mainly he just wanted to see Malfoy and his stupid father trying to suck up to him.

That left Hattie sitting at the end opposite Lily, next to Sirius and Remus. She hovered hesitantly before sitting down, shooting a glance that Tom interpreted as longing (?) in James’ direction. Tom was not the only one observing the interaction, for Lily rolled her eyes fondly.

“Remus, I think you’re going to have to swap seats with Hattie. James’ shadow can’t leave his side.” Lily said wryly. It made sense that she was so attached to him, considering she had no real memories of the rest of them and she spent all day at home with James.

James and Remus laughed at Lily’s comment whereas Hattie smiled sheepishly. “Sorry Professor Lupin.”

“You can call me Remus, you know,” Remus told her, standing up to swap seats with Hattie so that he was on the opposite end of the table from Lily, between Sirius and Hattie. The girl happily settled into the seat next to her father, beaming up at him and James blew her an exaggerated kiss, to which she giggled at. Lily was smiling so hard that Tom thought her face might split in two.

Hattie turned her attention back to Remus, tilting her head thoughtfully. “But I might forget and accidentally call you Remus in lessons when I come back to school.”

“Hmm, good point,” Remus nodded seriously. Everyone began to serve themselves but Tom noted during his conversation with Lily that Hattie had not touched her food. Lily seemed to have also noticed and she was shooting concerned looks at her daughter but did not say anything. “How have you been doing recently? I hope James isn’t annoying you too much?”

James paused in his conversation - which ranged from dumb dad jokes to discussing highly classified Auror business - with Sirius to glare at Remus.  “Moony, I am deeply offended-”

“Nope! Dad never annoys me,” Hattie told Remus, earnestly. “We cook together, we watch movies and football - we play football too - and he painted my room really nicely.” James was smiling, not his usual teasing smirk but instead a soft smile. Bright, like the sun. “And I’m great, how are you?”

A cheerful Hattie Potter that likes her parents. Wonders would never cease, Tom thought, trying not to be too obvious about his assessment of her.

Remus blinked at her outburst but returned her pleasantry. James cut in, also having noticed Hattie’s empty plate. “You’re both great - which is great to hear! Want some pasta, little Miss?”

“Yes please.”

“I hope you’ve been keeping up with your studies too, not just playing football.” Lily looked at her daughter expectantly, as she finally served herself. 

The teenager shared a guilty look with her dad. “Um… Maybe?” Lily raised an eyebrow but did not say anything further. Meanwhile, Hattie began whispering something to her Dad that Tom could not pick up as Lily and Remus began talking across the table.

“What are you two gossiping about?” asked Sirius, twirling his fork in his place.

“Nothing!” Hattie’s voice was high and guilty, whereas James shamelessly said, “You. You see, buddy, the receding hairline is getting a bit too obvious-”

“Fuck off! My hair is perfect!”

Hattie did not speak unless spoken to. She seemed to be just content with watching James and Sirius bicker, occasionally dragging Remus and Lily into their midst. She kept shooting furtive looks at Tom, which was when he would instantly look away. It would be embarrassing to get caught in his scrutiny. At one point, their gazes met and Hattie froze up in terror, before immediately looking away.

Midway through dinner, Hattie finally spoke again. “Mum?” Everyone immediately stopped talking to look at her. She slid down in her seat a little. “Um, nothing.”

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?” Lily’s brows furrowed in concern. 

“Montague sent me a letter,” she said, quietly. “He’s the captain of our Quidditch team, and well the next match, the final against Hufflepuff, is in two weeks-”

“Hattie, no,” Lily instantaneously shot the idea down before it could even form. “I can’t believe you’re even asking me after what happened not even a month and a half ago. Might I remind you that you nearly died ?! We’re so lucky to have gotten you back after your heart stopped - what if next time you don’t recover?”

“But mum, it’s alright if I do hit my head again because me and Dad watched a movie where someone lost their memory, like me, and then they hit their head and got their memory back.” Hattie explained, very seriously. From next to Tom, Sirius snickered and even Tom had to crack a small smile at the sheer idiocy of the idea. Remus and James were both determinedly trying not to smile, so as not to attract Lily’s ire. 

“James!” Lily turned on her husband. “What kind of movies are you showing her? What if she actually tried something like that?!”

“She wouldn’t, Lily. Hattie’s really sensible - aren’t you, little Miss?” Hattie immediately nodded and James pointed at her exaggeratedly for his wife’s benefit. “See, Flower?”

“That doesn’t count,” Lily rebutted, crossing her arms over her chest. “She agrees with everything you say.”

“You’re just jealous that I’m her favourite.”

“OK, that is so not true -”

“It’s not true,” Hattie agreed with her mother. “I love you both equally. You’re like my two eyes: Dad is my right eye, and you’re not my right eye, Mum, because you’re not right about me not playing Quidditch, I’m afraid.” Hattie shook her head like she was disappointed. Sirius barked out a laugh, fascinated by the disagreement, which Tom was too. He had never seen the Potters argue before without one of them blowing up and Hattie screeching something hurtful at her mother.

Ever the voice of reason, Remus interjected, “What has your Healer said about this?”

“Well…” Hattie bit her lip. “I haven’t sustained any unhealed head trauma, besides the unexplained memory loss. She said that we need to do a flight test, just to make sure that it doesn’t cause any mental trauma, like flashbacks or panic attacks.” Hattie stood up from her seat, heading over to her mother’s side. “Please, Mummy… There’s nothing in the world I love more than Quidditch- Other than my family of course,” Hattie added quickly, when Lily raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “I won’t take any unnecessary risks, I promise! We’ll lose if I don’t play - Montague told me our reserve Seeker is Malfoy. Malfoy,” she emphasised again for everyone else at the table. James and Sirius pretended to shudder. “Thank you, that was the reaction I was looking for.”

This version of Hattie Potter was not fond of her precious Draco Malfoy. How odd.

Hattie turned back to Lily, her eyes wide and hopeful. Tom knew she was going to crack when Lily bit her lip. “I’m going to talk to your Healer myself. And if she clears you after the flight test, If,” she reiterated when Hattie perked up joyously. “Then, I’m going to talk to Albus about James and Sirius coming up here for the match, so that they can keep an eye on you in case you fall.”

Hattie threw her arms around Lily’s neck. “You’re the best! I love you!”

“Not better than me though, right?” As Hattie’s back was turned, Lily flipped her husband off. 

Tom leaned back in his chair. The tides were changing around here. He had not yet determined if it was for the best.

But maybe all that mattered were Lily and James’ pleased smiles.

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe we’re actually letting her do this,” James muttered anxiously to his wife in the teachers’ section of the Quidditch stands, on the day of Hattie’s Quidditch match.

Hattie had been cleared to fly by her Mind Healer, having shown no signs of post-traumatic stress at the prospect of flying, nor during the act. Still, she had to have both James and Sirius on site to monitor her and be ready to catch her in case of an emergency. Both of them were adept fliers and they could easily catch her if things went south.

“James,” Lily sighed. “She’s been cleared to fly by her Healer. And I think it might be good for her to return to school and see her friends for the last few weeks of term. It might help her get better.” Hattie had been eagerly practising flying in their back garden all week, under James’ supervision.

“I know,” James grumbled, sinking in his seat. “I’m just going to miss her.” Lily kissed his cheek sympathetically.

“Mate, her leaving means I’m finally going to have you back at work with me,” Sirius piped up from James’ other side. They both had their brooms in their hands, ready to kick off from the stands and catch Hattie should anything happen. “I’ve had to sit with Dawlish, Shack and Scrimgeour at lunch since you’ve been gone - do you know how fucking boring they are?”

“You’ve only been complaining about it for the past three months,” Remus murmured from Sirius’ other side. 

“Oi Moony! I will not have any of your cheek-”

“Will you morons keep it down?” Snape turned around from the row below them to glare at them. 

Sirius and James instantly perked up. “Forgive us, dearest Severus,” Sirius cooed. Remus and Lily both worked with the man and Lily had formed a tentative truce with him after their argument back when they were all sixteen. James and Sirius were coaxed into being cordial with Snape by Lily but like they did with everything, they took it a little too far.

“We are oh so sorry , old boy-”

“Ignore them, Severus,” Lily cut across James. “How are you?”

Snape nodded to Lily, shooting a devious smirk at James and Sirius. “Especially good, considering the Quidditch Cup is going to be sitting in my office for the next year.”

Sirius scowled, but James actually beamed at the vile man. “I’m glad to know you have so much faith in my daughter, Severus.”

Snape turned back around with a final withering look in their direction. Sirius nudged James appraisingly, lowering his tone so that Lily could not hear them. “Nice one James.”

“Thanks. I can’t fucking stand that guy.”

“Same. Sometimes, I just wanna-” Sirius mimed choking himself and pointing at Snape. 

James laughed quietly, leaning across Sirius to address Remus. “How do you stand him, Moony?”

Remus grinned mischievously, leaning forwards to whisper, “Sometimes I drop a dungbomb in his office when he gets particularly annoying.”

“Wicked!” Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus’ neck, pulling him closer to kiss his cheek. “Didn’t think you still had it in you, love.”

“Sirius,” James admonished. “Once a Marauder, always a Marauder.”

“Even Peter?” Remus raised an eyebrow, reminding them of their other best friend who had murdered twelve muggles and was in permanent solitary confinement for the rest of his life. 

James and Sirius both winced. “OK. Not him.”

Meanwhile, Hattie was anxiously hovering outside the Slytherin Changing rooms, already clad in her bottle green Quidditch robes from home. She did not actually know any of the people inside there very well and she felt too apprehensive to enter. She knew they all probably liked her, considering they had all sent her letters expressing their hopes that she would get well soon, but it would still be an uncomfortable experience for her getting acquainted with people she did not know.

A few people had pointed at her and stared and whispered as she had walked through the castle earlier, escorted by Professor Dumbledore and her parents, but thankfully none of them had known her well enough to approach her. She did not know what she would do if she met her friends in this life, all of whom had been sending her a continuous stream of letters that she had not known how to respond to. She had written letters apologising that she did not remember them and they had all told her not to worry about it. 

But she did worry about it. She thought her friends were Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, but according to her parents and Healers and the letters, her best friends were Daphne Greengrass and Draco Malfoy. It befuddled her how she could be friends with someone she had no memory of talking to and someone she despised.

Am I actually crazy?

Whilst she was pacing back and forth outside the small block of changing rooms dedicated to each respective House Team, a large body bumped into her from the side, sending her stumbling. Before she could hit the ground, rough calloused hands grasped onto her forearms, preventing her from falling. Hattie gaped up at the tall seventeen year-old, a handsome boy with grey eyes and short dark brown waves and the object of all her nightmares since that dreadful night in the graveyard. A night that she apparently imagined . 

“Sorry Potter, I was in a hurry. I’m the Team Captain and I’m running late,” Cedric shook his head with a self-deprecating huff and ran his hand through his hair. He was living and breathing , unlike that night that had haunted her for months.  “Sorry, I haven’t even asked how you are since your injury and stuff. Wait shit, I heard you lost your memory so you probably don’t even know who I am-”

Hattie cut off his rambling by throwing her arms around him tightly. He was so much taller than her so she had to stand on her tiptoes to pull him down to her, pressing her ear against his chest so she could hear his heartbeat. “I’m so glad you’re alright,” she whispered, tears welling in her eyes.

He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive.

Cedric cautiously patted her back, and he was visibly confused when she pulled away from him. “Uh, why wouldn’t I be?” He panicked when he noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Please don’t cry, I’m sorry!” 

Hattie shook her head, wiping at her face quickly. “Don’t be sorry - I’m just being silly. You should go get ready for the match.” She averted her gaze from him, now embarrassed. He didn’t even know who she was - she truly had made everything up in her head.

He appeared reluctant to leave after witnessing her cry. “Are you sure?” She nodded again, staring at her shoes. “Aren’t you going to go in?” He gestured to the door of the Slytherin changing rooms.

Just to get away from him, she nodded and headed into the changing rooms. The moment she pushed open the door, joyous shrieks from a bunch of teenage boys erupted in the room and suddenly they were wrapping her up in hugs and slapping her back and telling her how glad they were that she was back. Utterly overwhelmed, Hattie just smiled weakly and nodded. She recognised all of their faces: Adrian Pucey and Cassius Warrington, two of the three Chasers, Peregrine Derrick and Lucian Bole, the seventh-year Beaters, Miles Bletchley, their broad-shouldered Keeper and the third Chaser - the Slytherin Captain - Graham Montague. 

“Alright, back up you lot,” Montague ordered the rowdy teenage boys, keeping a protective arm around Hattie’s shoulders. She really did not know him well enough to feel safe around him but she was thankful that he was making them give her space. “She still doesn’t have her memory back.”

“Is that, er, common knowledge around here or something?” asked Hattie, slowly slipping away from Montague’s friendly arm around her shoulders. He did not seem offended.

“Yeah. Dumbledore gave us a whole speech at dinner yesterday about how you’re coming back to school, and your memory is all messed up or something, and that we all need to be really, really kind to you.” Adrian - who was in the year above - gave her a gleeful smile, apparently knowing that she would be displeased about this knowledge.

“Well that’s just brilliant,” Hattie groaned under her breath. She thought that maybe she could lead a life where everyone would not whisper about her but turns out Hattie Potter was destined to be gossiped about and pointed at in every life and for none of the correct reasons either, whether that be for her parents dying or losing her memory.

“None of that now,” Graham waved away, shooting Adrian a stern look, to which the fifth year just smirked back at. “This is the final match of the season. The match that determines the course of our lives-”

“I think you’re being a tad dramatic,” Adrian interrupted. Despite herself, Hattie grinned at his words and he winked at her playfully. 

“One more interruption Pucey, and you’re off the team,” threatened Graham, but Adrian laughed, clearly not taking the warning very seriously. He continued to address the rest of the team. “We haven’t won the Cup in three years.” He nodded appreciatively at Hattie for her contribution towards that victory in only her first year. She remembered none of it so had no idea why he was nodding at her. “But this is our year. I can feel it in my blood. This is the year we bring home the Cup and restore glory to Slytherin!”

“You’d think we were going to war,” Cassius muttered in Hattie’s ear, and she chuckled quietly. These Slytherins were nowhere near as bad as the version she had met, but maybe it was her fault for never having gotten to know them. She was almost certain that, despite everyone in this room being half-blood or from lesser-known pureblood families, none of them were the children of confirmed or suspected Death Eaters. It made her feel a lot more relaxed around them. 

“Let’s kick Hufflepuff’s arse!” Graham ended his speech with a bang and everyone cheered for that. 

Never in her life did Gryffindor’s Golden girl, Hattie James Potter, anticipate that she would someday be playing a Quidditch match for Slytherin. It was quite literally the most jarring fact of this reality she was living in. It made her feel like a traitor to her cause. Although, she supposed if she was forced to be a Slytherin no matter what then she might as well help them win the Quidditch Cup along the way.

As they walked out onto the ground of the pitch, the Quidditch stands had already filled up. Hattie looked up to the Teachers’ box, where her parents had told her that they would be, and she squinted to see them. They were already looking at her, both of them smiling down at her and James chattering excitedly to Sirius. 

Joy bubbled inside her and Hattie waved at them eagerly. She had never had any parents to come and watch her: Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon would come to watch the school plays put on in her primary school when she was younger but it was never for her, only Dudley. She would smile shyly in their direction but they would not even look at her, too busy gushing over Dudley and recording him. 

Lily was clicking pictures of Hattie with a large black camera and at Hattie’s wave, she waved back, blowing her daughter a kiss. James, on the other hand, stood up and began jumping up and down, waving his hands madly at her as if she could not see him clearly whilst sitting down. Never one to be left out of anything, Sirius mimicked him and Hattie laughed at their display and the disgruntled look on Snape’s face in the row below them.

“Your dad is crazy,” Lucian Bole - the beater - told her. “He does this every match he comes to watch. I’m surprised you haven’t blown up at him yet.”

Hattie glowered at him. “He’s not crazy,” she snapped. “And why would I blow up at him? He’s my Dad.”

“Never stopped you before,” Peregrine Derrick - the other beater - said. “Last year you screamed at him to never come to any of your matches again, in front of the whole school. And that you hate him.” Bole and Derrick both laughed as if the recollection brought them immense joy.

Hattie’s brows furrowed. She could not fathom ever hating her sweet father who had painted her room four different colours just to make her feel comfortable. She could not fathom hating the lovely man who always encouraged her to eat as much as she wanted. She still limited herself to small portions, scared that they might get angry like the Dursleys used to. Uncle Vernon used to sometimes offer her food when they had been keeping her locked in the cupboard without any food during one of her punishments and then backhanded her when she had actually taken the bait. 

Filing the information away in her brain for later, Hattie mounted her broom, a Firebolt just like in her other life. The Potters were rich, after all. The Captains shook hands - Hattie determinedly did not look at Cedric, knowing it would unsettle her again to picture his cold corpse - and then the whistle blew, signalling kick-off.

Hattie shot off into the air, feeling that same rush of relief she always did when she flew. All her worries became insignificant. Nothing mattered except finding the snitch. She hovered in the air, scanning the pitch for any hint of gold that did not belong to the Gryffindor stands. Hattie stared at them longingly, seeking out Ron and Hermione’s familiar faces. Neither of them were looking at her, which was understandable as they were not friends. They looked just as she remembered them. Tom was not in the Gryffindor stands amongst them, thankfully.

She was unsure what to think of the boy. On one hand, he had murdered her parents and countless other people. On the other hand, he was just a teenager who her godfather had adopted. She could not decipher what was real and what was not. She did not know what to believe so she had opted to just ignore the boy at dinner last week, which had worked out perfectly fine for them. No one expected them to talk anyway.

As always, Lee was commentating from the Teachers’ box. “Montague seems to be taking after the previous Slytherin Captain Flint, in the sense that he favours size over skill, with the exception of little Potter, of course. One gust of wind and she’ll be knocked off her broom.” He pretended to gasp, covering his mouth. “Oops, too soon?” 

McGonagall was scolding him and trying to snatch the microphone out of his hands for making fun of such a delicate situation. Hattie’s parents were glaring at him from down the row, and Remus was trying to talk James down from hexing a seventeen year-old. James only stopped in his tracks when he realised that he would be disallowed from seeing any of his daughter’s future games if he hexed a child.

Hattie flushed at Lee’s quip, continuing to make her rounds of the pitch and not allowing herself to take his words to heart: Gryffindor and Slytherin had always been the fiercest of rivals and it would make sense that Lee was not gushing over her flying skills.

In the first twenty minutes, the score was 30-10 in Hufflepuff’s favour and Hattie was starting to get nervous. Graham had debriefed her in his letters that she could only catch the snitch once Slytherin had a fifty point lead, as they had to beat Hufflepuff by two hundred points, or Slytherin would not win the Quidditch cup.

At twenty-five minutes, the score was 40-30 in Slytherin’s favour with their chasers managing to outmaneuver Hufflepuff’s defense. “And Slytherin scores again, to everyone’s disappointment…” announced Lee.

“JORDAN!”

“I’m only joking Professor! They all know I’m just messing about!”

Despite herself, Hattie grinned but her momentary joy quickly morphed into anxiety when Cedric was racing towards the snitch and Hattie urged her broom in his direction, her eyes narrowing in search of the speck of gold, which hovered around the Hufflepuff’s goal of hoops. A bludger was hit in her direction before she reached Cedric but she easily dodged it, continuing to determinedly pursue both him and the snitch. She did not intend to catch it just yet; she only wanted to evade Cedric from catching it.

Her determination was overshadowed by horror when a bludger slammed into Cedric’s shoulder, courtesy of his own teammate. It was obviously intended to hit her but due to how close the two were, practically neck-on-neck, shoulder-to-shoulder, the Hufflepuff Beater’s aim had gone awry. 

Hattie reached onto Cedric’s sides to grab him before he could topple off his broom facefirst and pulled him back onto his broom. It took a lot of effort, as he was considerably larger than her, but she managed it. In her struggle to keep them both airborne, the snitch had flown off elsewhere.

“Are you alright?” she shouted over the thrum of the wind in her ears and the roaring spectators, her hands still clutching onto his sides. 

He nodded back in a daze, his grey eyes never leaving hers. “Merlin… You know that saying when your life flashes before your eyes?” Hattie nodded wordlessly. “Never thought that was actually real until now. Thank you by the way.” He took the hands that she had placed on his sides to steady him into his rough, larger hands and squeezed them gratefully, the touch imperceptibly soft. Hattie was certain that her face was aflame in that moment, because Cedric Diggory was too handsome for his own good. 

“Potter just saved Diggory’s life and now they’ve fallen in love, it seems…”

Cedric flipped Lee off, the two of them actually being good enough friends. Hattie soared away from Cedric with a final shy smile directed towards him, her face still burning. “HATTIE!” Graham bellowed, abandoning his pursuit of the Quaffle momentarily to hover beside her. “You should have let him fall off his broom!”

Hattie raised an unimpressed eyebrow at the sixth-year captain. “So that the other Houses could discredit our victory and say that we only won because the Hufflepuff Beaters took out their own captain?” That had not been her primary reason for saving his life but Graham Montague did not need to know that.

Hattie was going to make sure that Cedric Diggory lived a long, prosperous life.

Graham took a moment to ponder her words. “Oh. Fair enough. Good thinking, Potter!” He slapped her on the back, nearly sending her flying off her own broom. 

“Montague!”

“Shit, sorry Haz.”

“ Never call me that again.”

“And the Slytherin Captain just assaulted his own seeker,” Lee’s voice rang through the pitch and Graham and Hattie simultaneously rolled their eyes. “First, Hufflepuff nearly killed their own seeker and now this - what’s next? Are they going to attack their Heads of House?”

“Dibs on me throwing the Quaffle in Snape’s face!” Adrian called as Hattie flew past him and she laughed, shaking her head.

“Not if I beat you to it!”

It was over an hour into the game and the score was 120-60 to Slytherin. If Hattie acquired the snitch now, Slytherin would win by a margin of two hundred and ten points, securing Slytherin a win. Cedric was struggling with his injured shoulder still and Hattie winced every time she saw him groan from across the pitch. However, he was still trudging on painstakingly and Hattie just wanted one of them to catch the snitch so that he could get the medical attention that he so desperately required. 

Hattie spotted the snitch hovering in the centre of the pitch and she soared towards it, urging her broom upwards. Cedric charged towards the snitch from the opposite side of the pitch, both of their eyes set on the snitch. 

“They’re going to crash!” Lee was on the edge of his seat and James and Sirius had mounted their brooms and kicked off to catch the teens, lest they fall. “Uh, why are there a pair of forty year-olds on the pitch? Is that even allowed ?”

McGonagall had her face buried in her hands. “I have no idea what is or isn’t allowed in this school anymore, Mr Jordan.”

James and Sirius’ brooms stopped short in the air when Hattie snatched the snitch out of their air, and swerved out of Cedric’s way by rolling to the side in the air. 

Sweaty bodies crashed into her as she landed on the ground. Graham had wrapped her up in a fierce embrace, and all the other guys milled around them, slapping her back and hugging her, even Derrick and Bole. Her nose scrunched up at the pungent odor and she pulled away from them quickly. Cedric’s many friends were supporting him off the pitch, presumably to the Hospital Wing, and Hattie tried to approach him but she was separated from him by the crowd of students and teachers descending onto the grounds of the pitch.

“There she is,” Sirius called, pointing to her and waving her over. Hattie weaved her way through the crowd, murmuring apologies to some familiar and some unfamiliar faces. Her face lit up when she spied Ron but he just looked away indifferently. Pushing down the irrational wave of hurt, she rushed over to her parents, Sirius and Remus with renewed vigour. 

“Did you see me play?! Did you see me play?!” Hattie grasped onto Lily and James’ forearms, practically bouncing up and down as she looked between her parents.

“Nope. We closed our eyes and looked the other way.” Hattie laughed goodnaturedly at James’ words, used to his antics by now. James lifted his daughter off the ground, pulling her into a hug and spinning her around. “You were incredible!”

“Put my girl down, James. Stop hogging her from me all the time.”

James stuck his tongue out at his wife but did as told. Lily cupped Hattie’s face in her hands, pressing a kiss to Hattie’s forehead. “Good job, sweetheart! I’m so proud of you. But what happened to taking no unnecessary risks?” Lily raised an eyebrow at her daughter.

Hattie shrugged sheepishly, a nervous giggle slipping past her lips, as she looked up into her mother’s green eyes. She understood why everyone always pointed out how similar their eyes were - the emerald shade was so bright and striking that it left a lasting impression. “Sorry Mum. I just got really, really competitive.”

“You probably get that from your dad.” Remus grinned at her. “Congratulations on winning the House Cup, Hattie.”

“Thanks Professor Lupin!” she beamed at him. Sirius echoed the sentiment and Hattie actually hugged him. He seemed taken aback by the gesture and patted her back awkwardly. Hattie looked up at her godfather, “Did I fly like Dad?”

“Nope. You’re a lot better,” Sirius declared but Hattie seemed uncomfortable with the positive answer, glancing at James cautiously. Her Dad nodded fervently in agreement, making her face light up again. 

Hattie could say that she loved her parents equally all that she wanted but Lily knew she was a daddy’s girl. 

“Hattie!” a mellow voice called her name and Hattie turned in its direction to spot a gorgeous blonde with icy blue eyes rushing towards her. She stopped just short of her, wanting to give the amnesiac girl some space. “Hi Mr Potter, Professor Potter,” she greeted Hattie’s parents amicably, albeit a little distantly, and offered polite smiles to Sirius and Remus. She turned back to Hattie, a slight tremor in her hands. “I know you probably don't remember but I’m Daphne.”

“Oh yeah!” Hattie exclaimed, nearly slapping her forehead, but she did not do that - it would probably make her look more crazy than everyone already thought she was. She had heard Daphne’s name thrown around before but had never met her in her other life. “I got your letters. I’m sorry my replies were so short.” It was pretty awkward to have this conversation when her parents, Sirius and Remus were literally standing next to them and listening to their every word, although they pretended to talk among themselves.

“That’s fine. I’m just really glad you’re alright.” Hattie was surprised and more than a little touched to find that the girl was tearing up. She must really like Hattie. “It was really scary when they were- Is it OK if I hug you?”

“Of course.” Now, usually Hattie would outright refuse to be hugged by someone she did not know but she had already been hugged by her entire team against her will today and this girl was just so sweet and clearly cared about Hattie so deeply and was supposedly her best friend. The hug was short and sweet but it clearly brought comfort to the girl. They both smiled at each other.

“Hattie, my love!” Draco Malfoy stalked over to them, completely ignoring Hattie’s parents and Daphne. “I’m so happy you’re back!”

“Er, pardon?” questioned Hattie, glancing between her parents and Daphne for help.

Draco grabbed her by the waist and kissed her and she froze up, before shoving him off instantly, whacking him in the face. She seethed with fury, wiping her lips. “What the fuck, Malfoy?”

Sirius snickered behind the hand over his mouth and James and Lily seemed stunned by this turnout: they had never liked the young Malfoy very much but their daughter was crazy in love with him. Students milling around them stopped to stare shamelessly at the display. Draco’s pale face coloured with humiliation. “I know you’ve lost your memory, but I thought you would remember us at least! I’m your boyfriend, Hattie!”

“Stay the hell away from me!” Hattie screamed in his face, before hurrying away from the pitch. She could not hold back the tears stinging at her eyes, because her first kiss had just been stolen by Draco fucking Malfoy, her least favourite person on the planet.

With the memories she had of another life, she could not fathom ever dating that boy who had spent years antagonising her.

Chapter Text

Hattie stormed into the halls of the castle, the high of winning a Quidditch game and having her parents watch her play wearing off as a result of the taste of Malfoy’s foul mouth on her own. The south wing of the castle was the closest to the Quidditch pitch and the Hospital wing was situated on the first floor, so she decided to pay Cedric a visit. 

Her heart was still racing from witnessing him nearly fall off his broom during the match. She had already lost Cedric Diggory once - which was apparently a figment of her imagination. He was not going to die on her watch again. 

Hattie hovered in the doorway of the hospital wing, unsure of herself as Cedric’s hospital bed was swarmed by his many friends. Cho was plastered to Cedric’s side and smoothing his hair down, her face still pale from worry. The two of them together made Hattie smile. Madam Pomfrey was fussing over Cedric’s shoulder, which was sticking out at an odd angle that made Hattie and all of his friends wince. 

One of Cedric’s friends spied her lingering and shot her a dirty look, nudging Cedric to get his attention and pointing at Hattie. Cedric’s face brightened. “There’s my saviour!”

Hattie edged closer to his bed slowly, apprehensive of all the looks that she was getting from Cedric’s friends. Cedric and Cho were both smiling brightly at her so Hattie was emboldened enough to return the pleasantry. “I’m sorry about your shoulder.”

“Why are you sorry?” Cedric inquired. “You didn’t hit the bludger at me. In fact, you saved me.”

“Er- I guess.” Hattie rubbed the back of her neck, uncomfortable with the gratitude. “I’m glad you’re OK.”

“Thanks.” He put an arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders. “This is Cho, by the way.”

“I know. You’re a really good Seeker,” Hattie blurted out to the Ravenclaw, who seemed pleasantly surprised. 

“Right back at you.” Cho winked and heat rushed to Hattie’s cheeks. 

“I’m really glad that you’re OK, Cedric,” Hattie repeated. All of his friends were still watching their conversation. She gestured to the door with her thumbs. “I’m just, er, going to go now.”

“Bye Hattie!” Cho and Cedric both waved cheerfully. Saving someone’s life definitely put you on a nickname basis. 

Hattie was heading out of the Hospital wing when she bumped into Sirius. “There you are!” he exclaimed. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you- OI PRONGS! LILY! I FOUND HER!”

“You better not be joking like the last five times, Sirius!” Lily’s voice fumed around the corner, before James, Lily and Remus finally came into view.

“There you are, Little Miss!” James was the first to reach her, wrapping his arms around his daughter.

“Here I am!” Hattie echoed his tone and he beamed down at her, pinching her pale cheeks teasingly and she just giggled, leaning into his side again.

“Hi sweetheart,” Lily greeted softly, wrapping an arm around her daughter’s shoulders and drawing her into her side protectively. “I’m sorry about what happened outside. I’ve had a stern word with Draco-”

“I don’t really wanna talk about him, Mum, if that’s alright?” Hattie fiddled with the sleeve of her Quidditch robes and stared at a blank stretch of the wall behind her mother. 

“OK,” Lily nodded understandingly. “We can do that.”

There was a brief moment of silence, in which all four adults glanced at each other and looked away again, whilst Hattie resolutely avoided their gaze. Like always, Sirius broke the silence.

“Well,” he began, briskly. “James and I need to get going now that the match is over-”

“What?” Hattie’s head snapped up, fast. She stared at her Dad. “You’re leaving? Already?”

James nodded slowly, swallowing a lump in his throat before speaking, “Yep.”

“Oh.” Hattie stared at her shoes, trying to push back the tears stinging at her eyes. She knew that this moment was coming, that she would be returning to school for the final couple of weeks, but she had not been prepared for the reality of it all. In the past couple of months, she had grown far too attached to always having her Dad around.

“I’ve already had your truck put in your dorm and your uniform is all ironed for Monday-”

James’ rant was cut off by Hattie attacking him in a hug this time. Her voice was muffled against his chest. “I’m really gonna miss you, Dad.”

It hurt James’ chest to breathe. “I’m gonna miss you too, Hattie-girl.”

“You have to write to me everyday ,” Hattie insisted, her head tucked under James’ chin and resting against his chest. “And they better be long letters.”

“I’m going to write to you twice a day,” declared James and Hattie giggled at the impossibility of it all. He turned his head to his wife, his arms still around his daughter. “You better take care of my girl, Lilypad.”

“She’s my girl, James.”

“You need to learn when you’ve been beaten, Red.” Sirius bumped his shoulder against Lily’s. “She’s definitely James’ girl.”

The party was in full swing by the time that Hattie entered the Slytherin common room. She felt like an outsider, like the intruder that broke into here under the guise of Polyjuice Potion when she was twelve years-old. But was any of that even real?

It was clear to her that she was anything but an outsider when she had first reached the dungeons. Some older housemates whose names she was not aware of congratulated her on catching the snitch, told her the password upon her request, and she had just smiled, mumbling her thanks. 

She determinedly avoided the corner where Malfoy and his entourage were sitting, Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy glaring daggers at her and Malfoy still seething from the rejection. 

Hattie wanted to discreetly slink away in the direction of where she thought that her dormitory probably was, when an arm found itself hooked over her shoulders. It was their Team Captain - Graham Montague. 

“THERE’S MY CHAMP! Where have you been?!” Montague had to shout to make himself be heard over the deafening music playing and the sound of loud chatter surrounding them. Hattie’s head hurt already. He did not wait for her response, pushing a cup into her hands. “Here, have some firewhiskey.”

“Oh, er- I’m not allowed- I’m fourteen, so-”

Montague looked at her funny when she handed the cup back to him. “When has that ever stopped you before?” Hattie shifted uncomfortably but he just shrugged, accepting her refusal and downing the drink himself. “It’s fine, there’s no pressure. OI MILES!” He yelled to his best friend, the Slytherin Keeper. It made Hattie jump. “GET THE KID A BUTTERBEER!” Montague addressed Hattie again, “You good with butterbeer?”

Hattie nodded gratefully, clutching the bottle when it was handed to her and smiling in thanks at both Miles and Graham. Butterbeer was a safe option: it was sweet and the alcohol content was so low that it was practically negligible. Almost nobody in the wizarding world even considered it an alcoholic beverage.

“You enjoy the party, Haz,” Graham patted her back. 

“Still not my name,” Hattie reminded him. “And you too!”

Once Graham left her, Hattie hovered on the spot for a couple of moments, feeling terribly out of place. She could not see Daphne anywhere. The girl was supposedly her best friend so perhaps talking to her could jog back some memories that she had ‘lost.’

“You alright?” a quiet voice called from behind her and Hattie whipped around to see a yearmate of hers whose name she could not quite recall sitting in an armchair. He had bronze curls that laid flat atop his head, though they were darker than Hattie’s own light brown tresses and his skin was tan and golden, which Hattie envied. 

“Yep!” Hattie replied, her voice so chirpy that she was sure that he thought she was ridiculous. “You?”

The boy gave a low chuckle. “You have no idea who I am, do you?”

“No,” Hattie admitted sheepishly. “Sorry. Should I?”

“I’m Theodore Nott,” he introduced himself cordially.

Hattie slapped her forehead. “Wait, you’re Theo , my other best friend, right? You sent me letters!”

“I did. I now know that they did not get lost in the post, which begs the question why I didn’t receive much of a response?” Theo arched an eyebrow.

Hattie bit her lip guiltily. “That’s my bad, I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what to say because you know, I lost my-”

Theo grinned, cutting her off, “I’m only pulling your leg. Come sit.” He gestured to the armchair adjacent to his.

“Oh! Thanks.” Hattie was surprised but she did take up his offer, because this boy was supposed to be one of her best friends, one of her closest confidantes. She did not know what to say to him so she scanned the crowd for Daphne’s bright blonde hair.

“Daph’s gone to the library with Tracey, if she’s who you’re looking for. She’s working on a Potions essay,” Theo told her. He had a bottle of butterbeer too, and he was tapping it thoughtfully. 

“Yeah I was.” For lack of a better thing to do, Hattie took a swig of her own butterbeer. “Was she at the game?”

“Of course.” Theo seemed offended that she would think otherwise. “We always come to all of your games.”

Hattie was touched. “That’s so sweet.”

Theo did not seem embarrassed by the admission like Ron would have been after saying something heartfelt. “You played great today. Nice save with Diggory, too.”

“I was so scared when he was about to fall!” Hattie burst out quickly. The worry had been eating at her insides all afternoon and she just needed to get it out. 

“I felt the same when you fell,” Theo said tentatively, like he was unsure if he was allowed to talk about this without triggering her. “How have you been?”

“Good, thank you! I just can’t remember anything.” Hattie’s shoulders slumped slightly. “The Healers showed me so many pictures, my parents told me so many stories, but I just can’t remember anything .”

“Not a single detail?” Theo appeared contrite. 

“Nope. Sorry.” Hattie fiddled with the cap of her bottle.

“Why are you sorry?” Theo tilted his head, his brows furrowing.

“I don’t know. I just feel like I’m disappointing everyone. I’m making no progress with my Healer and my Mum’s always worried about me.” Hattie’s cheeks flushed, embarrassed that she had overshared. “I don’t know - I’m being silly-”

“I don’t think you’re being silly,” Theo said, with inflection. “You’re going through something unimaginably difficult - I can’t even imagine losing all memories of my life, and gaining memories of another life. You’re allowed to feel however you like about it.”

“Merlin, you are really emotionally smart for a boy.” Hattie marvelled, eyes wide.

“That’s sexist.” The corners of his mouth lifted in a teasing smile.

“Not if it’s true!”

Hattie’s first day back in lessons consisted of Daphne squealing in the morning, causing her to burst out of her bed. “What? What?” Hattie demanded, looking around for some sort of threat.

“Sorry,” Daphne apologised, shamefaced. “I know I saw you all of yesterday but I just can’t believe you’re back!”

Hattie was greeted by another one of Daphne’s hugs, which she was beginning to think were very common with the taller blonde. Hattie forced a smile, rubbing the tiredness from her eyes. “Yay…”

Breakfast was a quiet affair, with Hattie, Theo and Daphne all sitting together near the end of the table due to Hattie’s insistence on staying away from Draco. “I do not want to be kissed again.”

“That was really funny yesterday,” Theo chuckled.

“It was not!” Hattie huffed, angrily munching on a piece of toast. She really missed late brunches with her Dad. “How would you like to be kissed by someone who you hate?”

“It would have to depend on how attractive they were,” Theo shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee. “But I get you.”

“He wasn’t even your real boyfriend, you know? You guys had an on-and-off thing,” Daphne revealed to her. “It was weird of him to kiss you.”

“Well, I’m not going to give him any more chances to. I’m staying far away from him .”

That plan was futile, however, as Hattie’s first period lesson was Transfiguration with the Gryffindors. Theo and Daphne sat together and Malfoy had been trying to catch Hattie’s eye so they could sit together, which she did not have the time nor the patience for, so she headed to the Gryffindor side of the room and sat with the only person who did not have a table partner: Neville Longbottom. 

“Hi Neville!” she greeted him brightly. “You don’t mind if I sit down, do you?”

Neville’s eyes were wide and he seemed to be looking around for someone to rescue him. His would be saviours, Seamus, Dean and Ron, seemed just as dumbstruck. “I- Well-” Ever the people pleaser, Neville just nodded.

The Slytherins across the room were watching her, equally as stunned. Despite some disapproving looks, nobody said anything about Hattie sitting with a Gryffindor: since becoming a Seeker, Hattie had somewhat of a ‘celebrity’ status within the school and every Slytherin knew that she was impossible to replace. No Slytherin in their right mind would accuse Hattie Potter - the hero of their House who had won them the Quidditch Cup just yesterday - of being disloyal to Slytherin House. It was a preposterous notion. 

“Thank you!” She plopped herself down into the seat next to him and made herself comfortable, rummaging around in her bag for what she needed. She slammed her Transfiguration textbook down on the table, making Neville startle. “Sorry,” she smiled apologetically. She got out some parchment and a bottle of ink. “Neville, do you need a quill? I have a spare quill.”

“I’m alright, thank you,” Neville said timidly. 

“Suit yourself,” Hattie shrugged nonchalantly, starting to write the date at the top of her parchment before she realised she didn’t even know what it was. ”Neville, do you know what the date is?”

“It’s the twentieth of May.”

“Thanks again!” She scribbled down the date, before shoving her hand back in her bag. “Neville, do you want some gum-”

“Chewing gum is strictly forbidden in class, Miss Potter,” a stern voice called from the back of the classroom and Hattie craned her neck to look at the old woman, whose lips were pursed as she marched into the classroom.

“Sorry Professor McGonagall.” Hattie dropped the packet of gum back into her bag. 

“As you all know, your final exams for this year are in two weeks. These final lessons before your exams will be spent revisiting content that you are unsure of.” Professor McGonagall addressed the class at large. Hattie’s back stiffened. Oh no. 

McGonagall seemed to notice Hattie’s panic, for her stern gaze softened. “Do not fret, Miss Potter. You are exempt from the final exams this year. We will use your previous test results to determine your final grades.” Hattie breathed a sigh of relief and then gulped: if the version of her with her memories was anything like the version of her in her “pretend” life, then Hattie’s results were not going to be the best.

Now Hattie had two parents that she wanted to make proud . 

“How is that fair?!” Ron demanded, making Hattie jump and turn around. “How come she doesn’t have to take exams?!” The disparaging way with which her best friend in another life referred to her sent a pang of hurt through her chest. 

“I don’t know, Weasley,” drawled Theo, from the right side of the classroom. “Maybe because she died and came back to life in front of the whole school, including in front of your thick skull. ”

The other Slytherins snickered at that and even Hattie had to duck her head to hide her grin. 

“Thank you for that, Mr Nott,” McGonagall silenced the class. “I do believe you got your answer, Mr Weasley. Moving on-”

The class was spent reviewing the year’s material, including some of the stuff they learned in third year, and Hattie paid rapt attention, despite not taking the exams. She was still going to be taking her O.W.L.s next year with everyone else. 

Whilst listening to McGonagall’s lecture, Hattie realised that the head of obsidian waves sitting in front of her, right before the teacher’s desk, belonged to none other than Tom Riddle. Hattie immediately felt on edge for not having noticed him earlier. 

She was bewildered when he was the first to put his hand up for every question that McGonagall asked, rivalled only by Hermione. Who knew that Voldemort was a total know-it-all?

Hattie rolled her eyes and huffed at every answer that he got correct, silently mimicking him behind his back and making rude gestures. Neville appeared scandalised by her behaviour but when she looked across the room, Daphne had her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter and Theo was masking a smile behind his large peacock feather quill. She winked at them both and Daphne chose that exact moment to snort. Loudly. 

Everyone turned around to look at Daphne, even Tom and Hermione. “Anything you’d like to share with the rest of the class, Miss Greengrass?”

“No. Sorry, Professor.” Daphne slumped in her seat, hiding behind her textbook. Theo nudged her placatingly. 

Sorry, Hattie mouthed guiltily, but Daphne just waved her off forgivingly. 

Hattie’s second period class was History of Magic, during which she and Daphne played noughts and crosses, as well as hangman, whilst Theo took halfhearted notes. 

The rest of the day was smooth sailing, with Hattie waving excitedly at her Mum whenever she spotted her around the school, who in return blew her daughter a kiss. Hattie even waved at Remus at lunchtime.

After lunchtime, things took a turn for the worse. 

Dread set into Hattie’s stomach the moment that she headed down to the dungeons for her fifth period lesson: Potions with the Gryffindors. Hattie stared at the classroom’s door for five seconds before she decided, “I’m running away.”

Theo and Daphne snickered, both of them linking their arms with Hattie and marching her into the room. They grabbed a workbench of four, so that the three of them could sit together. Tracey Davis also joined them and Hattie smiled at the girl, a smile that was amicably returned. “You alright, Hattie?”

“Good, Good. How are yo-”

“Well, well, well… If it isn’t the return of Hogwarts' own celebrity,” Snape’s cold, nasally voice vibrated against the walls of the classroom, and the entire class fell silent.  “The rest of the school may be giving you special treatment Potter, but do not expect such leniency from me. You will be taking the Potions exam with the rest of your cohort.”

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t expecting any leniency from you, sir,” Hattie said airily, resisting the urge to glower at the man.

Snape scowled at her darkly. “Enough of your cheek, Potter. Switch seats with Granger. Now.”

Hattie perked up at the prospect of sitting next to Ron. Maybe they could be friends-

Hermione was sitting next to Tom. Not Ron.

Hattie shared a commiserating look with Theo and Daphne, before gathering her stuff, deliberately moving slowly. “We don’t have all day, Potter!” Snape snapped.

Hattie looked at him innocently. “I’m just packing up, sir.” 

Hermione was at the edge of the workbench, tapping her foot impatiently. “Sorry for making you move, ‘Mione,” Hattie murmured when passing her. Hermione seemed surprised.

Hattie set her things down next to Tom’s space, and he was surveying her interestedly, whilst listening to the instructions that Snape was doling out. Hattie yawned, bored already. Snape paused his furious scribbling on the blackboard to glare at her. 

“Sorry sir,” she raised her hand lazily. 

“You never used to talk back to him,” Riddle said quietly, from her right. Hattie slowly turned her head to look at him, that same pang of fear there, but no longer as strong. He was an insufferable schoolboy, for Merlin’s sake, only fifteen years old. 

He wasn’t looking at her, his eyes trained on the blackboard. His posture was perfect and Hattie straightened too, to match him. He still had many inches on her and she scowled darkly at his side profile, with his defined jawline and long eyelashes and his perfect dark waves that always stayed neat, unlike Hattie who always had to use copious amounts of Sleakeazy’s to get her hair to look presentable and shiny. Luckily, her family owned lots and lots of it for some reason.

“Really?” she finally replied to him, deciding that it would be rude to not deign him with a response. She didn’t want him to hate her and add her to his future hit list, because Hattie was sure that Tom Riddle was destined to be evil in every life.

He nodded.

“Many of you fools failed at brewing the Pepperup Potion earlier this year, so we will be revisiting it. Work in pairs and Merlin help you all if a single cauldron explodes.” Snape let that threat hang in the air ominously, but Hattie just rolled her eyes, used to being on the receiving end of his hatred. 

“You get the ingredients,” Riddle instructed her. 

In the perfect impression of a displeased Snape, Hattie arched a brow. “I’m not your House Elf - get them yourself.”

Riddle’s jaw clenched, and he finally bit out, “ Fine. I’ll get the top half of the list, you get the bottom half.”

“Nope. I’ll get the top half, you get the bottom half.” Hattie skipped away, leaving Riddle to silently bristle in his frustration, his pale as snow neck flushing red. 

When they finally had all the ingredients, Riddle dumped them all on Hattie’s side of the bench. “You chop - I’ll brew. I don’t want my cauldron blowing up and killing us both, knowing your Potions prowess.”

For once, Hattie could not argue with that, but she had to add, “Do you think it’s likely it would kill us if it blew up?”

“Oh definitely,” Tom nodded seriously. Hattie gulped, edging away from the cauldron slightly. The corners of Tom’s mouth lifted. 

“You’re joking,” Hattie said flatly. She was confused too: who knew Tom Riddle had a sense of humour?

“You’re very observant.”

“Really?” Hattie perked up. “Nobody’s ever said that to me before.”

“For good reason.” Tom noted, whilst busying himself with the cauldron. Hattie glared daggers at his side profile again. It was unfair how beautiful a person that she despised could be.  

Hattie chopped the mandrake roots at an alarmingly quick rate, so much so that Snape’s head shot up from the homework he was grading to check if her fingers were still intact.  

Riddle seemed irritated, whilst setting up the cauldron to brew. “Stop chopping them so fast - you’re going to mess up the shape they’re supposed to be, and that will interfere with the results.”

“No it won’t,” Hattie refuted, holding up the mandrake roots that she had chopped into perfect little circles. “Look.” 

Riddle opened his mouth and closed it again, before continuing to brew. 

Halfway between chopping, Hattie gave up and leaned her forearms on the desk, putting her head down and looking sleepily in the direction of Theo and Daphne. Theo was working with Daphne, whilst Tracey was working with Hermione, all of them engaged in friendly conversation. Theo waved when he saw her looking, and Daphne blew her a cheeky kiss that had them both giggling. 

“Why have you stopped chopping?” Riddle’s voice called frustratedly from next to her. 

She turned her head to look at him, still resting on her arms. “What’s the point? It’s all going to dissolve when we put it in the cauldron anyway.”

Riddle paused in his brewing to stare down at her in utter disbelief. “That is not how it works, Harriet. How have you gone your entire life being raised by brilliant wizards and witches thinking that? You’ve spent four years learning magical theory - surely you haven’t forgotten that?” Tom had been made aware by his parents that Hattie had not forgotten any of her magical knowledge.

Hattie stared back up at him, still not lifting her head up. “Er- Is that actually not how it works?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Potter, sit up!” Snape snapped from his desk and Hattie slowly raised her head. 

“Sorry sir,” Hattie said, not sounding very sorry at all. 

“Whichever partner is brewing, swap over with the other now.” The mirth in Snape’s tone was unmistakable. 

There was visible fear in Riddle’s eyes as he swapped seats with Hattie. 

Half an hour later, Hattie and Tom left the dungeons with their faces blackened with ash. 

“Sorry! I’m really sorry!” Hattie called after him, feeling incredibly guilty. “I’ll buy you a new cauldron!”

Theo and Daphne were doubling over with laughter as they exited the classroom and Hattie shook her head at them ruefully. “Not funny, you guys.”

Dear Dad, 

I really really really really really miss you and it’s only been one day!!! Today was so crazy - well actually it wasn’t THAT crazy. Most of the day was good, I had lots of fun with Theo and Daphne and I sat with Neville in Transfiguration but Potions was pretty bad. I ACCIDENTALLY blew up Riddle’s cauldron and I don’t really like him that much but I still feel really really bad. Can you buy him a new cauldron with my savings and send it by owl post? I think I saw them in my vanity. 

Anyways, that was today. How are you Dad? (I probably should have asked that sooner!!) Did you go to work today? How was it? Did you sit with Dawlish at lunch? Did Lavender’s mum tell you any more made-up stories? Did you watch the Chelsea match today? Did they win? And how is Sirius? Make sure you both stick together, alright? I don’t want you to be alone. 

I love you so so so so much and I’m sending you lots of hugs. 

Love from

Hattie 

Chapter Text

On Tuesday evening, James and Sirius were having dinner at their parents’ house. Potter Manor was situated in Bournemouth, in the south of England. The manor house stood tall near the beach and was surrounded by a large expanse of fields, that - to Muggles - appeared to be a thick forest that they avoided at all costs. 

Tonight, they sat around the dinner table with Euphemia and Fleamont, as well as with Dorcas and Marlene who had just returned from a six month long expedition in the Amazon rainforest, with no contact with the outside world. They both worked in the field of wildlife conservation.

James and Marlene had been childhood friends, before James and Sirius had befriended one another, before they had all gone off to Hogwarts, ever since the two were still in diapers. When Marlene’s parents passed a decade ago, Mia and Monty had practically adopted Marlene and her kid brother, Charlie. Marlene had only been twenty-five and had suddenly become solely responsible for the custody and well-being of a fourteen year-old boy. 

Mia and Monty made sure that the two siblings always had a place to come to during holidays, and they were always invited around for family dinners. When Charlie completed his education at Hogwarts, Mia had pushed him to pursue his passion in working with dragons in Romania. 

They all sat in the Potters’ grand spacious living room: Dorcas and Marlene shared a couch, Sirius was sprawled across another couch with his head in Mia’s lap and James sat on a third couch next to his Dad.

“So she seriously remembers nothing about her life?” Marlene repeated incredulously. James had been getting her and Dorcas up to speed after the two of them had been missing in action for the past several months. In response to her question, James and Sirius nodded in sync, their faces solemn for once. “But she has to remember me. I’m her favourite aunt!” 

“Only because you bribe her with presents,” Dorcas snorted, mirthfulness sparkling in her eyes. It was no secret that Marlene’s wife did not exactly cherish much affection for children, and Hattie was no exception in that; it was probably the sole reason that the two women had no children of their own. 

“No I do not!”

“Marls, my angel, you kind of do,” Sirius said lightly, his eyes closed as Euphemia played with his hair and massaged oil into it. 

“How many times do I have to tell you, James? Let me put oil in your hair and then it would be soft like Sirius’, but you never listen to me, do you? It’s like I’m talking to the walls around here!”

“Mum, I don’t like oil in my hair, it’s so gross-” James repeated to her, for the umpteenth time. 

“Fine. Don’t have nice hair like Sirius.” Marlene and Sirius both snickered at Mia’s words.

“What I don’t get is why we haven’t been allowed to meet Hattie yet,” Fleamont complained for the millionth time, and James had to resist rolling his eyes at his parents or he would definitely receive a smack. Whilst Hattie had not shared the best relationship with her parents in the past, Mia and Monty absolutely adored their granddaughter and spoiled her rotten. 

Hattie had adored them too at first. But when she went to Hogwarts, it all… stopped. She stopped going to big family dinners. She didn’t care about opening presents at Christmas. She preferred to spend all her time locked away in her bedroom, or with her best friends. 

James had tried to talk to her, Lily too. They had tried to help her the best that they could, until she just blew up at them and said horrible things that made Lily cry herself to sleep and made James lose sleep trying to make her happy with them again.

She talked to Marlene whenever she saw her. Marlene was perhaps the only person that Hattie remotely liked. And she was never rude to her grandparents like she was with everyone else.

“Dad, I’ve told you both that the Healers said she should only be reintroduced to people she remembers to start with, so that it doesn’t make her more anxious.”

“OK, and? We’re her grandparents. We should still be allowed to meet her,” Mia insisted. “You’re fine sending her back to school with a bunch of strangers, but we’re her family , James.”

“It’s what her Healer has advised, Mum. She doesn’t remember anything about you both. I don’t think she even realises she has grandparents. She asked about a lot of the people she goes to school with, and she could name almost everyone in her year, so we thought it might help her adjust to reality if she went back.” James rubbed his forehead tiredly, and Fleamont suddenly felt guilty for his interrogation, sharing a look with his wife. His unease was mirrored in her eyes. 

“Alright, alright.” Fleamont put an arm around his son’s shoulders. “We’re sorry for jumping on you.”

“It’s honestly fine, Dad. I promise if she’s feeling up to it when she gets home from school next month, me and Lily will bring her round for dinner.” 

“We’re going to hold you to that,” Mia said, mock-sternly. 

James was just pouring everyone a glass of Mia’s favourite wine when there was suddenly an owl rapping at the window. Fleamont frowned. “At this time? Effy, are you expecting anything?”

“Not that I know of.” Euphemia shook her head. “Sirius, go check.”

“Why do I have to go?”

“Because you’re my favourite and you’re so helpful.”

“Hey!” James exclaimed and Sirius cackled, strutting over to open the window. Sirius froze at the window, before turning around to gape at everyone - utterly dumbstruck.

“James! It’s Hedwig!”

“What?!” Everyone in the room was astounded: it was a well-known fact that Hattie never wrote home in her four years of living away from them all. 

“Hedwig? Hattie’s owl, Hedwig?!” James was flabbergasted.

“No, a wig you put on your head.” Sirius deadpanned. “Yes, it’s Hattie’s fucking owl, you wanker.”

“Mind your language!” Mia tossed a pillow at Sirius, whilst Fleamont covered his mouth to hide his grin. Sirius winked at Fleamont. 

“I wonder how she knew to bring it here instead of your house, James.” Marlene was staring at the owl reverently and Hedwig preened under the attention.

“Here you go, mate,” Sirius handed the envelope to James, who stared at it like he was holding a ticking time bomb. 

“Well?” Fleamont prodded his son. “Aren’t you going to open it?”

That was all the prompting it took for James to carefully peel open the envelope, making sure not to let a single crease or tear appear. His eyes moved frantically back and forth as he perused the contents of the letter. He did not put down the letter for several minutes, during which everyone else was beginning to get restless. 

“Well?” Dorcas demanded, her knee bouncing up and down. 

James looked up, a huge grin on his face and his eyes shining. “My kid wrote to me. She said- she said to write but I didn’t think she actually wanted me to.” He clutched the letter close to his chest. “Wow! When did my life become so perfect again?” James sprang suddenly from the couch, a pep in his step. “Dad, do you have parchment and a quill? I need to write back!”

“Upstairs in the office-” Fleamont had barely gotten the words out before James was racing up the stairs. 

“Careful, James!” Mia called after him. Sirius was still staring at the stairs after James had disappeared upstairs, so Mia nudged him. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m just hoping this all lasts. It’s really gonna mess them both up if it doesn’t.”

“That’s not fair to Hattie,” Marlene spoke up, her brows furrowed. “She deserves the chance to get her memories back and be the person that she actually is.”

“I think-” Fleamont began carefully, looking between his two conflicted surrogate children, “-that we’re lucky to have her alive at all, however she is. We all witnessed the memory of her accident from the Headmaster. Her heart stopped for an entire minute.” Mia and Marlene shuddered just thinking about it, and Sirius’ face paled slightly. Dorcas had a thoughtful expression on her face. “We should be happy with whatever version of her that we’ve got.”

“I’m surprised that James and Lily let her even get on a broomstick again, after all of that.” Dorcas shook her head. 

“It’s her passion,” Fleamont shrugged. “She’s so unbelievably good at it as well. If Senna could come back to life, he would probably still want to race too.”

“Who’s Senna?” Mia stared at her husband blankly. 

“The Formula One Driver? I literally told you about it when it happened last year but you never listen to anything I say-”

“OK, calm down you two.” Sirius silenced the arguing between the two old lovebirds before it could even commence. They argued about the most stupid things. “He went to school with all of us, Mum. He dropped out of the Auror Force and left our world completely to be an F1 driver in the Muggle world.”

Every Wednesday after completing her lessons for the day, Hattie had an hour-long appointment at St. Mungo’s Hospital with her mind Healers.

After noting that the door was open and the place was empty save for her mother, Hattie frolicked into her mother’s office. “Hi Mum!”

Lily looked up from the papers she was marking at her desk, a smile gracing her gorgeous face, and Hattie was in complete awe everyday of the beautiful woman that was her mother. “Hi sweetheart. How’s your day been?”

Hattie rested her hands on the backrest of the chair opposite Lily. “Well… I would say that it’s been good but I just had Divination.”

“Oh no.” One of the many things that Hattie loved about her mother was that she was a very responsive listener when Hattie told her about her day. Aunt Petunia had never cared. “What happened?”

“Professor Trelawney told me that the stench of death is clinging to my soul.” Hattie mimed the spooky tone in which the Divination teacher had relayed this information to her. “And I don’t know what death smells like, but it can’t be good.” Hattie wrinkled her nose. “So basically, your colleague told me I stink.”

Lily laughed, standing from her desk and wrapping her arms around her daughter. “You do not stink.”

Hattie smiled against her mother’s shoulder. “Tell her that!”

“I will, I will!” Lily brushed a loose strand of hair away from Hattie’s forehead. “I heard about an incident that happened in Potions yesterday.”

Hattie stiffened. “You did? From who?”

“From Professor Snape.”

“Oh. Him. ” Hattie practically scoffed with disdain and her mother levelled her with an unimpressed look, causing her to wince. “Sorry, sorry!” She was surprised that Tom had not snitched to her mother about what had transpired in Potions: he seemed like the telltale type. 

“You know, I’m surprised you dislike him so much. You never said anything before… everything.” Lily liked to avoid every possible mention of the dreaded incident in March.

“Really? Theo and Daphne and even Riddle said he’s always picked on me.”

Lily frowned. “What? Do you want me to have a word with him?” She seemed about ready to charge down Severus Snape’s door at the first order from Hattie.

“No, no, no!” Hattie exclaimed instantly. “If he finds out I got my Mum involved, he’ll never take me seriously!”

Lily did not appear pacified. “You’re sure?”

“Promise!” Hattie held up her pinkie, and Lily linked it with hers with a tinkling laugh. 

“Come on now, you. We have an appointment.”

When matched with Hattie’s track record, the Floo trip to St. Mungo’s Hospital was surprisingly uneventful. Like her appointments always were, the first half hour was spent with medical staff poking and prodding at her head and performing diagnostic spells on her brain and other vital organs, whilst her mother held her hand. Hattie had learned by now that the comfort was more for Lily than herself, so she made sure to keep smiling reassuringly at her mother. 

The next half hour was spent talking with her primary Mind healer, a session which her mother was unfortunately not permitted to witness. “How have you been, Hattie?”

“Very good, thank you,” Hattie replied brightly. “I honestly think that I’m recovered enough to not need these visits anymore so I would advise that you probably discharge me from outpatient care completely-”

“Hattie.”

“Sorry.” Hattie sank in her seat slightly. 

“There’s no need to apologise. I know you don’t like hospitals, but these visits are for your benefit, alright?” Hattie nodded in response to Healer Selwyn’s words. “Don’t you want to be able to trust your mind again? To have your real memories back?” Hattie nodded again, playing with the hem of her skirt. “Now, let’s start with how you’re adjusting to your move back to school.”

“Well… it’s alright, I guess.” Hattie knew that the key to a successful session was to spill her guts, since it was just a waste of time for both Hattie and Healer Selwyn, who was just trying to do her job. It helped that Healer Selwyn was also really easy to talk to. 

“Theo and Daphne - they’re my best friends in this life apparently - yeah, they’re really nice. It’s just weird because before this week I felt like I had never spoken to them before, you know? But they know all this stuff about me: what I like, what I dislike, which are things I have no memory of ever telling them, so it’s all really confusing. Sometimes, I feel like we’ve been friends for years, but I don’t know if that’s because I’m remembering stuff or just because they know me so well.”

“I can understand why that’s confusing, Hattie. Thank you for sharing that with me.” Healer Selwyn nodded, and Hattie liked that she didn’t jot things down during their session like in the movies that Dudley used to watch sometimes, but instead used the record of her own memories to keep a track of everything that her patients said (Hattie had actually asked her about that during their first ever appointment). “What about people that you knew very well from the other life that you’ve experienced?”

Hattie liked that Healer Selwyn never made her feel crazy about her mental condition either. “Er- well, there’s Ron and I get the impression that he doesn’t like me very much after he complained in Transfiguration the other day that I shouldn’t be exempt from exams. But I get why that upsets him - it probably doesn’t seem very fair from his perspective.”

“That’s very mature thinking of you, Hattie.”

“Thanks!” Hattie beamed. “I’ve, uh, actually been trying to emulate you, sort of. You’re, like, the most calm, rational person I know and I hope to be more like you.”

Healer Selwyn was speechless for a moment. “That’s… very lovely of you to say.”

“It’s the truth.” Hattie shrugged nonchalantly.

Healer Selwyn regained her bearings fairly rapidly, going back to the topic on hand. “I know we’ve talked previously about your dislike for Tom, due to the destructive role that he played in your other life. Have you had any further interaction with him?”

“I sat with him in Potions on Monday.” Upon remembering that utter catastrophe, heat rushed to Hattie’s cheeks. “My Professor made me.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“I felt angry at Professor Snape, but I was always angry at him - in my, er- other life too, I suppose. When I sat next to Riddle, I felt scared at first, but then I wanted to see how far I could push him,” Hattie confessed guiltily. “I wanted to see how different he was from the version that I… made up.”

“And what did you think about him?”

“He’s just a… normal teenager, I think. He didn’t try to kill me or anything. He got pretty annoyed with me in Potions, and for good reason, but he also is probably not that bad of a person because I’m fairly certain he’s best friends with Hermione. My Hermione,” Hattie emphasised, waving her arms around to show how maddening the whole concept was.

“But maybe,” Healer Selwyn said delicately, to spare Hattie’s feelings, “she was never your Hermione at all.”

A pang of hurt struck Hattie’s chest at the thought of the girl she had shared a dormitory with for four entire years, the same girl whose name was scored on Hattie’s heart. “Yeah. Maybe.”

Healer Selwyn could tell that she was not prepared to unpack the complexity of her memories with Hermione, so she redirected the subject. “So what have you concluded regarding Tom?”

Hattie shifted in her seat. “I don’t think that it’s fair for me to hate him, since he hasn’t even done anything wrong to me to deserve it. In fact, I’ve done more wrong to him so far in the time that I’ve known him, with the whole exploding cauldron thing in Potions yesterday, so if anything, I’m the bad guy.” Hattie’s cheeks were flaming again, and she genuinely felt remorse for her actions in Potions on Monday. “I think I want to try and be civil with him, since our parents are close. I don’t think I’m ready to be close friends or anything just yet, or maybe even ever, because a part of me will always see the boy from the diary. The man who killed my parents.”

“I think you’re making the correct decision, Hattie,” Healer Selwyn nodded appreciatively. “Whenever you experience negative emotions towards Tom, try and remind yourself that your parents, and anyone else you think that he may have hurt, are completely fine.” 

“I’ll try,” Hattie promised.

After her therapy session, Hattie sat in the waiting room whilst Lily and Healer Selwyn debriefed about Hattie’s progression. As always, Lily left Healer Selwyn’s office looking like she was carrying the burdens of the world on her own two shoulders, and Hattie hated how much stress her health was causing her parents. 

Lily smiled when she saw Hattie already looking at her. “Ready to go, sweetheart?”

Hattie nodded solemnly, taking her mother’s arm as they headed to the Apparition Point in the hospital. They ended up in Diagon Alley, and Hattie looked around with befuddlement. “What are we doing here, Mum?”

“I thought we could get some ice cream before going back to school. I’m sure we won’t be missed for another half hour or so.” Lily winked at her daughter. “James tells me your favourite flavour is strawberry, like mine.”

“No way! Hardly anyone I know even likes strawberry ice cream, let alone it being their favourite,” Hattie said. “We’re actually quite similar, I think, Mum.”

“How so?” Lily tilted her head as she grabbed them a table outside Florean Fortescue’s ice cream parlour. It was a seasonably warm evening and Hattie wasn’t even wearing long sleeves. 

“Well… We both have green eyes, we both like strawberry ice cream and-” Hattie turned slightly shy, fiddling with the menu on the table. “I kind of, accidentally, saw some of the papers you were grading on your desk, and we write our ‘g’s the same - I wasn’t purposely prying though, I promise!”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Lily reassured her daughter. “It's so interesting that our handwriting is similar! I’m just going to go inside to order - will you be alright?” Hattie nodded in response.

A few minutes later, Lily returned with their orders. “That was quick,” Hattie commented. 

“I know right? It’s probably because most of the kids are at Hogwarts - in the summer, it’ll be insane in here,” Lily guessed.

Hattie hummed, twirling her spoon around in her large bowl of strawberry ice cream with rainbow sprinkles - just how she liked it. Lily noticed her quiet behaviour: Hattie tended to retreat into herself whenever she was upset, rather than talk about it. “Something on your mind?”

“What if my memories never come back, Mummy?” Hattie asked, quietly. “I hate being a stranger in my own life, I hate making you and Dad feel stressed-”

“Hattie my baby, you are not causing me any stress.” Lily reached out across the table to take both of Hattie’s hands into her own, her emerald eyes shining with earnestness. “You’re my child, and I’m always going to worry about you, even if you do have your memories. Your Dad and I love you however you are, no matter what.”

The serving tray of toast sat in front of her plate and Hattie had to summon all her energy to grab a piece and butter it, her eyelids drooping with sleep. That Thursday morning, she sat with Theo and Daphne, like she had been doing the entire week, and Hattie found that she was growing increasingly fond of them by the minute . 

They always looked out for her, they always searched for her whenever they walked into the Common room from separate lessons, they waited for her to go to different meals. They were fiercely protective of her too, especially when someone came up to her and asked her a particularly insensitive question about her accident earlier that year. 

There was a part of her that fiercely missed Ron and Hermione too, but perhaps the versions of them that she missed had never existed. 

Hattie only fully woke up when Hedwig landed at the table, carrying a letter and a large package that had been spelled to be light as a feather. Hattie had been delighted when she visited the Owlery on Monday and realised that at least her first ever friend was still hers. “Morning Hedwig! Want some berries?”

Dropping the package and letter on the table, Hedwig hooted like she was offended, darting towards the bacon. “No, Hedwig!” Hattie moved the dish of bacon away from her owl. “Bacon is bad for you!” 

Hedwig stared at her human disappointedly, before flying away. Daphne was watching their interaction, stunned. “It’s like she understands you.”

“She’s magical - can’t all magical owls do that?” Hattie asked, looking between Daphne and Theo for confirmation.

“No, actually. My owl is unfortunately a moron,” Theo remarked, making Hattie snort. 

“You’re so horrible, Theo,” Daphne slapped Theo’s shoulder, as Hattie tore into the letter, eager to pour over its contents. 

To my lovely Hattie-girl, 

I really really really really really miss you too and it’s been TWO days. I don’t know how I’m going to survive a month without my favourite daughter. I am glad Lily’s out of the house though - she’s always causing trouble honestly. 

I’m sorry to hear that your day was a little bit crazy, but I’m glad that you had fun overall. Don’t worry about paying for Tom’s cauldron - I would never take money off my kid to buy literally anything. I’m glad that it was only an accident but Sirius is still a little bit iffy about it, so try to be more careful next time darling. 

To answer your questions, I am doing great - thank you for asking! I did go to work today and it wasn’t a very fun day - it was mainly paperwork and no fieldwork. They unfortunately don’t tell you about that part before you join the Auror Force. Sirius did not let Dawlish sit with us at lunch, and yes, Cecelia did tell us plenty of gossip, but I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to share with my child. I’ll have to consult with Lily first.

I watched the Chelsea match and they lost I’m afraid (don’t be too upset, they’ll do better next time hopefully). I’m actually loving football - never more than Quidditch though!!! I’m going to try and get us tickets to a Chelsea match next season, and your friends, Theo and Daphne, can come along too. If they can’t make it, we’ll just have to take Sirius and Remus instead. I really don’t want to do that because Sirius spends more time chatting than watching the match and Remus will probably fall asleep in his seat.

Me and Sirius are sticking together, you don’t need to worry. You just focus on enjoying school and getting good grades. I love you so much little Miss and I can’t wait to give you the biggest hug when I see you again. 

Lots of love,

Dad

P.S. Tom’s cauldron should be attached to your owl and if not, Hedwig probably dropped it on someone’s head on the way to Scotland. I hope she didn’t though - the cauldron’s top of the line. Tom should be thanking you that you exploded his old one.

Hattie’s smile was so big that her face was about to split in two as she finished reading the letter. She slipped the letter back into its envelope and then into her school bag to keep it safe, before grabbing the packaged cauldron and standing up from the Slytherin table. “I’ll just be back!” she told Theo and Daphne, hurrying over to the Gryffindor table. 

The Hufflepuff table was next to the Gryffindors and Hattie spotted Cedric and Cho sitting side by side eating breakfast. She sent them a friendly wave that was amicably returned, and had her smiling joyously.

Hattie scanned the Gryffindor table for Riddle’s stupidly perfect head. She was met with some unfriendly glares that made her shift uncomfortably, but she tried her best to ignore them. Eventually, she spotted Riddle sitting opposite Hermione and Ginny, and she quickly walked towards them, keeping her head upright to show that she would not be intimidated by the lions.

She used to be one of them, after all.

The three friends were watching her as she stopped next to them: Hermione peered at her over the newspaper she was reading, Ginny was nonchalant and Tom still seemed icy from the whole Potions fiasco earlier that week if the scowl on his face was anything to go by. 

“Hi Hermione! Hi Ginny! Riddle…” Her greetings to her old friends were incredibly cheerful, and she tried not to let the smile drop from her face as she talked to Riddle. She remembered her plan with Healer Selwyn to try and be more civil with Riddle. He called her ‘Harriet’ in Potions so Hattie reckoned that she should probably call him by his forename too; it would be a small step in the right direction. “I mean, er- Tom. Hey. This is for you!” She stretched her arms out to hand him the heavy package. “You know, to make up for the cauldron that I, kind of, completely destroyed.

Tom surveyed the package warily, making no effort to take it from her. “It’s not going to explode in my face, is it?”

“That was one time!” Hattie exclaimed, dropping the package gently by Tom. 

“One time too many.” Tom arched an unimpressed eyebrow. Ginny was growing steadily more interested in the conversation, looking between Tom and Hattie with the smallest grin on her face. “You didn’t need to get me this. I’d already written home for a new one.”

“What? Write home and tell Sirius you don’t need a new one right now,” Hattie insisted, worry blooming on her face. What would be the point in him having two cauldrons? Hattie’s attempt at making amends would be rendered completely useless.

“I think I’ll just go and tell Remus to pass on the message by Floo,” Tom said slowly. 

“Right. That’s a way better idea!” Hattie paused for a moment. “So, er- you’re not mad enough to kill me anymore, right?”

“Why would he kill you over a cauldron?” Ginny asked, like she was inquiring over the weather. 

Hattie expelled a heavy sigh, resting a hand on Ginny’s shoulder. “He’s killed people for less, Gin.”

“He has?” Hermione stared at Tom.

“Yep.” 

Tom interjected, very bewildered by the accusation. “I have actually never killed anyone-”

“Sure buddy, sure,” Hattie patted Tom’s back and if looks could kill, Hattie would be more dead than Tom Riddle Sr’s decaying bones in the Little Hangleton Graveyard. “Anyways, good talk guys - I’m going to be off now. Bye!”

Hattie skipped back over to the Slytherin table to her friends. “Daphne! Theo! Guess what my Dad said in the letter?”

“What?”

“You have to guess!”

“You’ve given us nothing to go on!” Daphne argued. 

“OK, fine - I’ll tell you!” Hattie huffed, irritably. “My dad said he’s gonna try and get Chelsea tickets for next season and he said you guys can come too!”

They stared at her blankly. “What’s Chelsea? Is that a Quidditch team?” Daphne inquired politely.

“None that I’ve heard of,” Theo muttered.

“No, not a Quidditch team, but a football team!” Hattie revealed, practically bouncing in her seat from her ecstasy. 

“Football?” Theo repeated uneasily. “Isn’t that, um, a Muggle sport?” Hattie nodded eagerly. “My Dad would never let me go to a Muggle sporting event.”

“Mine neither. Sorry Hattie,” Daphne said, apologetically.

“We won’t tell them!” Hattie exclaimed, refusing to let herself be disheartened by their refusal. “You can tell them that we’re just hanging out at my house. They’ve let you come to my house before, right? Before the accident?” Theo and Daphne both shook their heads. “What? Why not?”

“I think they would be fine with it, but you didn’t like staying at home,” Theo said, watching her carefully.

“Why not?” A puzzled crease formed between Hattie’s brows and she looked between her friends. 

“Well… You argued with your parents a lot.” Daphne looked like she very much did not want to be having this conversation, but she still humoured Hattie. 

“Really? Do you know about what?” Hattie was incredibly intrigued by what she was like before the accident. She had absolutely zero memories of the ‘real’ version of her.

“Hattie, are you sure we should be talking about this? Are you sure it won’t trigger you or anything?” Daphne fretted, twirling her blonde hair around her fingers nervously.

“No seriously, I’m fine!” Hattie insisted. “You don’t need to treat me like I’m made of glass.”

“We’re not,” Theo said firmly. “And we don’t know what exactly you guys argued about. All we really know is that you hated staying at home and that you didn’t have the best relationship with your parents.”

“Oh.”

Chapter Text

On Thursday morning, they had Transfiguration again. Hattie was about to go sit in the free seat next to Neville when Theo pulled her back by her elbow, lowering his voice so only Hattie and Daphne could hear him. “Do you want me to sit with Blaise instead, so you can sit with Daphne?”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t really mind. You sit with Daph - I like Neville,” Hattie said, smiling gratefully at Theo for the offer. Malfoy was trying to catch her eye, so Hattie hurried over to the unofficially designated side for Gryffindors. “Hey Neville! Can I sit with you?”

Neville seemed less taken aback by her inquiry this time, smiling weakly back at her. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

“Thanks!” Hattie sat down next to him, lowering her voice so Professor McGonagall would not hear them this time. “Do you want some gum?”

“Um, I don’t think we’re allowed-”

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Hattie winked exaggeratedly, whilst grinning like an idiot. She nudged him with her elbow. “You get what I’m saying?” She winked again. 

“Uh- Not really.”

“Quieten down everyone,” Professor McGonagall called from her desk, beginning to note down the attendance. She was the sort of teacher who did not need to exert much effort to keep a class silent, much like Snape, which Hattie grudgingly respected of both of them. “Today, we are going to be revisiting how to turn guinea fowls into guinea pigs, since some of us are still having difficulty mastering the spell.”

“Er- Neville,” Hattie whispered to her table partner. “Why is she looking at us?”

“Last time we did the spell, my guinea pig still had feathers on it,” Neville said, miserably. “And you managed to complete the spell but for some reason, your guinea pig died.”

“Mine died?!” Hattie exclaimed, cutting across whatever Professor McGonagall was explaining. “Sorry, Professor.”

“Thank you for reminding us all of that tragedy, Miss Potter,” McGonagall said, tight-lipped. On the other side of the classroom, Daphne burst into quiet giggles and Hattie turned around in her seat slowly to look at her best friend, which in turn made her laugh even harder. Theo nudged Daphne to shut up, whilst also smiling. 

“I wonder how I killed my guinea pig,” Hattie said, staring thoughtfully at the guinea fowl that Professor McGonagall anxiously placed in front of her after she finished explaining. 

“Don’t ask me - I can’t even get mine to turn into a guinea pig,” Neville complained, hunched over his guinea fowl with his wand in hand and looking down at it in concentration. The classroom was filled with chatter and chaos, everyone panicking over exams and talking more about revising, rather than actually doing it.

In front of them, Tom and Hermione immediately completed the spell and were now doing their own independent revision. Hattie rolled her eyes, nudging Neville and silently pointing at Tom in front of them. “What a loser, right?”

Neville shot her a reproachful look. “That’s not a very nice thing to say. He’s my friend.”

Hattie stared at him, open-mouthed. “Neville, he is not your friend. I’m your friend! Be on my side!”

“I’d never even spoken to you before Monday.”

“Seriously?” Hattie was taken aback. “I was clearly missing out, Neville.” There was an awkward silence between them as they looked at each other and then back at their guinea fowl.

“Professor Dumbledore told us all that you, um, remember things differently to how they were,” Neville said, tentatively. “Is that why you’re sitting next to me now? Because you remember us to be friends?”

Hattie nodded. “Yeah, we were friends. Since first year. You always looked out for me.” It made her feel distraught that all the friendships she had once cherished no longer belonged to her. She stared at the back of Hermione’s voluminous curls.

“We can be friends for real, if you like?” Neville offered, seeming unsure of himself. “If you promise this isn’t something your friends put you up to-”

Hattie twisted in her seat instantly, putting her hands on Neville’s shoulders and looking him in the eye to convey her earnestness. “I would never do that, Neville. I’m not that kind of girl. I really, truly, honestly want to be your friend.”

“OK,” Neville smiled. “I don’t really have many of those.” 

He seemed embarrassed after admitting that, his ears turning red, and Hattie felt incredibly upset. Nobody should feel ashamed of being lonely. “Well, you’ve got another one now.” Hattie puffed out her chest with pride. “My birthday’s on the 31st July, and if my faulty memory serves me correctly, yours is on the 30th?”

“Yeah!” Neville exclaimed, surprised. “How do you know that?”

Hattie shrugged. “I don’t know - maybe the amnesia made me omniscient.” She wiggled her fingers teasingly, before staring at her guinea fowl again with annoyance. “Wish it had made me hardworking.”

Tom turned around from the desk in front of them to stare them down disapprovingly. “Some of us are trying to revise.”

“OK. So are we…” Hattie stared back at him, waiting for him to turn around. 

“Right.” Tom looked down at their still-existing guinea fowls and raised an eyebrow. “From what I could hear, and now see , it didn’t seem like that, Harriet.”

Hattie smiled at him sweetly. “Well, maybe you’d get more revision done if you spent more time reading that textbook rather than listening to our conversation, Thomas.”

Tom’s straight posture was tenser than it was before. “That’s not my name and you know it.”

“And Harriet isn’t my name,” Hattie shot back. Neville looked between the two of them nervously, and even Hermione was glancing back occasionally. Hattie made sure to smile at her when their eyes met, a gesture which was reciprocated hesitantly. Hattie counted that as a win.

“On the contrary-”

“On the contrary,” Hattie mimicked. 

Tom crossed his arms. “Very mature, Harriet.”

Professor McGonagall had been walking around and inspecting the students’ work, and she stopped at their desks. “What’s going on over here?”

“Nothing, Professor. I was just helping these two with the spell,” Tom said, innocently. Hattie glared at him, causing him to smirk. “Isn’t that right, Harriet?”

“Yes, Professor.” Hattie forced a smile. 

“Thank you, Mr Riddle. May I see you both attempt the spell?” McGonagall addressed Hattie and Neville, both of whom exchanged panicked looks. 

“Er- Now, Professor?” Hattie confirmed. 

“No, Potter. Tomorrow,” McGonagall answered, sarcastically. “Of course I mean right now!”

“Oh, OK.” Tom was watching her expectantly too, and Hattie was silently willing her magic to set him on fire. You need to be civil, Hattie, she inwardly reminded herself of her Mind Healer’s words. 

Unfortunately, Hattie and Neville did not accomplish the spell successfully. They were the only two students assigned with extra reading at the end of the lesson, and Hattie had another dead hamster on her conscience.

They walked out of the classroom with their heads hung low. “Why do you think we’re not good at Transfiguration, Neville?”

“I dunno.” Neville leaned against the wall of the corridor with her as she waited for Theo and Daphne to exit the classroom. “Maybe ‘cause we basically have the same birthday.”

Hattie laughed, prompting her to get weird looks by some of the people exiting the classroom, which she took no notice of. “Maybe. What do you have now, Neville?”

“History of Magic,” Neville sighed.

“Ugh. I have Herbology.”

“Lucky. Wish I had Herbology. I think we have Divination together after break. Do you wanna, maybe, sit together?” Neville asked, hopefully. 

“Uh, Yes!” Hattie exclaimed, ecstatically. Hattie despised Divination, and she wished she had dropped it like Hermione. However, it was too late now. She would just have to go through to the end. None of her other friends took Divination; it would be nice to have a friend in the class. 

“Cool! Um, just a heads up-” Neville swallowed, seeming a little nervous- “Tom usually sits with me as well, because Hermione doesn’t take Divination anymore.”

“Oh, joy,” Hattie forced a smile. Riddle clearly had Neville under his thumb. “Don’t worry Neville, I can deal with Tommy dearest. I’ve been putting up with his shenanigans since I was a baby, unfortunately.”

“Oh yeah, aren’t you guys kind of family-”

“Absolutely not.”

Although Herbology was not exactly Hattie’s strongest subject, she did not make a fool of herself during the revision lesson. Her and Daphne made quick work of collecting bubotuber pus, despite Daphne looking like she was going to vomit. Some of the pus got onto Daphne’s robe, making it look like she had vomited on herself. Hattie laughed for five entire minutes, with tears streaming down her cheeks, and then she went to the bathroom to help Daphne wash it off. 

When they returned back to Greenhouse Three, they were scolded for being gone so long by Professor Sprout. Theo tutted at them behind the teacher’s back, and Hattie threw a Bouncing Bulb at him, that hit him smack in the face. Daphne and Hattie ducked under the bench to conceal their laughter from Professor Sprout, the two of them clinging on to each other’s forearms in order to not topple over.

After Herbology, Hattie trekked up to the North Tower for Divination all by herself. No Slytherin in their year took the subject other than herself: it seemed their parents had the foresight to warn their children against taking it. Hattie wondered if her parents had given her any advice on the subjects to take, and if she had heeded it. So far, the only difference in her subjects she had spotted was that she took Arithmancy instead of Care of Magical Creatures. 

Hattie was amongst the last to arrive in the Divination classroom, which resembled an old fashioned tea-shop than it did a classroom. “Sorry I’m late, Professor.” She plopped down on the plush chair next to Neville, sitting cross-legged. At the same table, Riddle was sitting on a floral armchair. 

Professor Trelawney bestowed a mournful look upon Hattie. “I am glad you could make it at all. There have been many troubles in your path.”

Hattie bit back an amused laugh. “Thank you for understanding.”

The entire fourth year content revolved around the impact of Astrology on Divination, which was what this revision lesson was centred around. They were also going to be revisiting some third year content, such as crystal ball gazing and palm reading. 

“Neville, Venus was quite prominent at the time of your birth, so you’re probably going to be lucky in love.” Hattie sing-songed the last word, after glancing over Neville’s star chart. Neville blushed. 

Tom glanced over at Neville’s star chart. “But Venus is adjacent to Mars. So that means he’s going to be unlucky in love.”

Neville appeared to be anxious now. Hattie glared at Tom. “Why don’t we have a look at your star chart?” She snatched it from in front of him, and a nerve ticked in Tom’s temple. “Oh look at that - Mars! You’re probably going to have a really horrible accident happen to you, like tripping down the ladder after class and cracking your skull-”

“Actually-” Tom interjected, folding his forearms on the table. “Mars also means war. Perhaps I’m going to be incredibly successful in battle.”

There was an odd glint in his eyes that made Hattie discomfited. “War? Is that something that interests you?” She had to know. It was vital for her to make a distinction between this teenager and the monster in her memories. 

Tom seemed perplexed by the abrupt change in subject, taking a moment to answer. “Not really… War brings economic instability, poverty, social decline, disabilities. I don’t see why it would interest anyone. I was talking more along the lines of personal battles, success in personal goals.”

Hattie breathed an undetectable sigh of relief, averting her gaze from Tom who was watching her closely. She had to keep reminding herself that this was just a teenager, someone who had been raised by Sirius and Remus, two of the best people she had ever met. He had to be better than the person that she remembered. 

“Hattie,” Neville spoke up. “Saturn was apparently prominent at the time of your birth, so that explains why you’re a little bit… short.”

The redirection made Hattie laugh loudly. “Neville, that is so mean! But true, I guess,” she admitted, wryly. 

“Shall we move onto crystal balls?” Tom offered, and his other two table partners nodded. 

They all started with reading Hattie’s fortune first. “I can’t see anything,” Hattie complained, after only ten seconds. 

“You have to be patient,” said Tom, staring at the crystal ball attentively. 

Hattie snorted. “You look like you’re constipated.” Tom’s head snapped up to glare at her. “Sorry.”

“I still can’t see anything,” Hattie said quietly, after waiting an entire minute. Neville burst into nervous giggles, as Tom’s fists clenched on the table. “OK, sorry! I’m sorry!” Hattie lifted her hands in surrender. “I’ll let you concentrate!”

Hattie started tapping her fingers on the table. “Stop that!” Tom snapped, still staring at the crystal ball. 

“Stop what?” Hattie stopped her tapping. “Oh, that? Sorry.”

“Wait! I can see something!” Hattie exclaimed, the silence becoming too much for her after five entire minutes. It did not help that Neville was starting to yawn too. “I see a broomstick! I’m going to be a famous Quidditch player!”

Tom took one look at her through narrow eyes and deduced, “You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not.” Hattie smiled innocently. Neville looked between the two of them apprehensively.

“Yes, you are,” Tom glowered at her. 

“Fine, I’m lying,” Hattie groaned, slumping on the table. “This stuff’s all made up anyway.”

“No it’s not,” Tom refuted, whilst looking down at her with those disappointed dark eyes. Hattie genuinely thought it was impossible to distinguish his pupils from his iris. “Divination allows us to examine the future-”

“You actually believe this stuff?” Hattie was nonplussed. “You’re so… straight to the point. I didn’t think you’d care about Divination.” Tom seemed unsure if he was supposed to be offended. “No, I’m not making fun of you, I promise! I’ll let you get on with your work now, I promise there’ll be no more interruptions.” She held up her pinkie finger. 

Tom watched her closely, looking between her pinkie and her earnest green eyes. Hattie thought she saw the barest twitch of his lips before he looked away, starting to observe the crystal ball. Hattie exchanged a puzzled look with Neville, who shrugged.

After another ten minutes during which Hattie painstakingly kept her mouth shut, Tom started to note down some observations. Against her will, Hattie felt some curiosity rise. “Did you actually see something?” 

Tom nodded with a smirk. “A broomstick.”

Hattie laughed, unsure if he was being genuine. “Seriously?! So I am a Seer?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

Next, it was Hattie and Neville’s turn to examine Tom’s fortune. “You’re going to be a Prefect and Head Boy,” Hattie declared instantly, from what she could remember from her second year and the memory of Tom Riddle. She prayed that he would not become what that boy did. Tom opened his mouth to protest, no doubt to state her claim was untrue, but Hattie cut across him. “Just trust me on this one.”

 Astonishingly, Tom did not argue back.

After lunch, they had Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Gryffindors and Hattie waved at Professor Lupin when she walked into the classroom. Hattie spent the lesson having silly mock duels with Daphne and Theo. Blaise joined them too, and Hattie found that he was quite funny.

“I definitely won.”

“Bullshit!”

On Friday afternoon, during the final revision lesson before the exams started, Hattie had Double Potions with the Gryffindors again. Her footsteps dragged as she was the last one to enter the dreaded classroom behind Theo and Daphne. Snape was scrawling instructions on the blackboard for the potion that they were going to be brewing that day. “Hurry up Potter. You’re two minutes late.”

Hattie rolled her eyes behind his back. “Sorry sir.” The seat next to Neville was open and Hattie happily skipped over to him, setting her things down. 

Snape turned around after he finished writing the instructions, and his gaze immediately landed on a cheerful Hattie and Neville, his two least favourite pupils. “Absolutely not. There is no way that I’m going to allow the two biggest dunderheads in this class to pair together. Granger, swap with Potter.”

Hattie scowled, collecting her stuff and starting to move as slowly as possible. “You let Crabbe and Goyle sit together,” she muttered, bitterly. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Sorry,” Hattie apologised to Tom quietly, setting her stuff down in the place next to him. She was going to attempt to be civil with Tom, just like Healer Selwyn had advised.  “He hates me, but I don’t know why he’s punishing you for it too.”

Tom’s jaw clenched, and he seemed to be grinding his teeth together furiously. “He hates me too because I’m better at this damn subject than he is.”

Hattie levelled him with a funny look, questioning the validity of the claim. “Hm. Sure.”

He turned to look at her. “I am!”

“OK.”

“I am!”

“I didn’t say you weren’t!” Hattie raised her hands in surrender. “So shall I brew or-”

“Don’t even think about it,” Tom hissed, and Hattie giggled to herself. “Go get the stuff we need.”

“Still not your house elf,” Hattie grumbled, but she decided, since he would most likely be doing most of the work, she should acquiesce with his demands. When Hattie returned with the ingredients, she dumped them all over the table, and some rolled onto the floor. Tom shot her an unimpressed look. “Oops.” She waited for Tom to pick them up, which he did after huffing about it. 

“We’re using your cauldron,” Tom said quickly. He had only just received the replacement for his old one that Hattie had absolutely decimated a couple days ago. 

“Fine by me.”

“So…” Hattie said, once she had made some progress with the preparation of the ingredients. “How do you like your new cauldron? Have you used it yet?”

“No, I haven’t used it yet.” Tom paused. “It seems like a good cauldron though.” He seemed to be inwardly fighting with himself. “Thank you.”

Hattie beamed. “You should thank my Dad. He bought it for you. He’s the best.” She focused on chopping the ingredients once more, unaware of Tom’s dark eyes prickling on the side of her head. 

“I’ll be sure to thank him when I see him,” said Tom, starting to stir the first of the ingredients into the brew. “Stop chopping so fast or you’ll take your fingers off. Not that I would complain,” he added, hurriedly. He probably didn’t want Hattie to think he cared about her, not that she did think that obviously.

Hattie pouted, slowing down her chopping. “Why are you so nice to everyone else, but so mean to me?” She had seen from afar how friendly he was with Hermione and Ginny, how he always helped younger students with schoolwork no matter their House affiliation, and how charming he was with all the teachers.

“I could ask the same of you,” Tom argued. They were both unaware of the apprehensive glances that Neville and Hermione were sending their way from behind them. 

“What do you mean?” Hattie set the knife down completely to give her undivided attention to Tom. “At least I’m trying to be nice to you - you’re not even making an effort!”

Tom scoffed. “Please, Harriet. There’s no need for you to be nice to me,” he spat out the word like it was a curse, and Hattie nearly flinched. She had always felt uncomfortable with people raising their voice at her, due to years of Uncle Vernon. Because of four years of practice, she could put up with Snape and McGonagall scolding her, but Tom Riddle was new territory - enemy territory. “We can go back to ignoring each other like we did before your accident.”

Hattie made sure to keep her tone calm and collected, just like Healer Selwyn always was. In the past, she would have gotten angry, but now she knew better. “I don’t know what things were like before my accident, but I think it’s so ridiculous if we ignore each other or can’t get along. I mean, our parents are best friends - we’re going to see each other, like, for the rest of our lives pretty much!”

“So what are you suggesting? That we be friends?” Tom wore a scornful expression.

Hattie shifted on the balls of her feet, looking downwards. “Well… yeah. I don’t know if you already know this, but in my, er- other life or in my fake memories or whatever, Sirius and I were really close. He was the closest thing to family that I had. I’d like him to at least like me here, and that’s never going to happen if I’m not friendly with his son. And I also just don’t like to be on bad terms with anyone, when there’s no good reason for it.” He’s not Voldemort, he’s not Voldemort, he’s not Voldemort.

Tom stiffened. “He’s my father. He’s always going to love me more than you.”

Hattie faltered, “I know that. I’m not trying to steal him from you or anything. I just want him to like me.”

He surveyed her closely, before turning away from her dismissively. “I’ll think about it.”

Hattie perked up. “So is that a maybe…?”

“It’s exactly what I said it is - I’ll think about it.”

“You’re really bossy.”

Chapter Text

Exam season inevitably began, and all of Hattie’s friends were stressed: Theo barely spared the time to socialise before and after exams, Daphne was constantly in and out of the bathroom from the stress, and Neville was always on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Hattie tried to be the best consolation she could to them, but she feared she was hardly helping. 

Whilst all her friends were taking their other exams, Hattie studied in the library for the only exam that she was being forced to take by her least favourite Professor: Potions. She could have complained to her mother to get her out of the exam, as she was exempt from all her other end of year exams due to her medical situation, but that would mean letting Snape win. Hattie Potter was as competitive as they came, and that trait had only intensified after being around her father. 

If there was one person in her year who was wholeheartedly calm when it came to exams, that was one Tom Riddle. Hattie, Daphne and Theo spent all their evenings in the library, and Hattie could always spy Tom and Hermione sitting a couple of tables away from them, occasionally joined by Ginny. Hermione was a ball of nerves next to him, constantly fretting, whereas Tom was cool as a cucumber. She always averted her gaze, not wanting to be caught staring at him like a weirdo. 

Sometimes, Hattie would look up from her textbook and he would be watching her, an indecipherable look in his dark eyes that she could not unravel. She raised an eyebrow challengingly. He looked away. 

The cycle repeated.

One afternoon, whilst Theo and Daphne were off taking their Care of Magical Creatures exam, Hattie was sitting by herself in the library. It had been an odd difference compared to her ‘imagined’ life, that she was no longer taking the class and instead taking Arithmancy. She had expected that class to be quite difficult, but it had a mathematical aspect to it, and it could be used to predict the future, which provided a crossover with Divination. Hattie had been pretty good at Maths back in primary school, so if she put some work in over the summer, she was sure that she could get back up to speed.

She had apparently learned the content once before, after all, back when she had her memories…

A shadow loomed over her, blocking the light from the textbook that she was reading. Hattie frowned, looking up. It was Tom, standing at the edge of her desk. “May I sit?” he asked, stiffly. 

She gawked up at him, words escaping her momentarily. “Er- yeah- Sure! Go ahead.” She scrambled to move her books and the contents of her bag that had somehow spread all over the table. “W-what are you doing here?”

Tom took the seat opposite her, his back straight like a rod. Hattie sat up straighter too, remembering Uncle Vernon’s posture - she most certainly did not want to end up like that. He looked around at her clutter distastefully. “If I recall, it was you who wanted us to get along, for the benefit of gaining Sirius’ approval.”

“Right. Yes, of course.” Hattie nodded, stupidly. “So is this you accepting my offer then–”

“What do you think?” Tom said, dryly. He definitely thought she was an idiot. Fortunately, Hattie’s ego could live with an evil Dark Lord not approving of her. 

“He’s just a kid like you, Hattie,” she recalled her Mind Healer’s words.

Hattie raised her hands in surrender. “Just making sure… By the way, don’t you have an exam right now? You seem like the type to take Care of Magical Creatures.” Hattie thought of his evil pet snake, Nagini, and that disgusting rat, Pettigrew, and she smiled vindictively to herself.

She then thought how she must appear to Tom, grinning at him like a madwoman, and she quickly stopped smiling. Everyone already thought she was half-crazed due to the memory loss; there was no need for him to think she was a complete lunatic.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He clearly took offence at her tone.

“Nothing!” Hattie swore, her voice gaining a higher pitch like it always did when she was lying or in trouble. “I just think that you look like you love animals!”

“I only like snakes.” Hattie choked on the air. Tom’s dark eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong with you?”

“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” she waved off, willing herself to act normal. She tried to grasp onto a different subject. “So… what electives do you take? Other than Divination, of course.” They took that subject together, to Hattie’s initial dismay. Now, it was another opportunity to befriend him and earn nicety points in Sirius’ book. She missed her godfather.

“I take Ancient Runes and Arithmancy.”

“Really? But I’ve never even seen you in my Arithmancy class.” Hattie’s brows knitted together in bewilderment, racking her brains and trying to remember if she had seen him in the classroom in the past few weeks. Unfortunately, remembering was no longer Hattie’s strong suit, and she often found herself questioning what was real and what was not in her life. 

“I got moved up into the year above.” He did not sound smug about it at all. His tone was very matter-of-fact, like it was expected of him to be brilliant and gifted and ahead of his peers. She thought Tom Riddle would be openly full of himself, rather than the subtlety he was displaying, if she was being honest. Maybe he was just good at hiding it. “I just took my Arithmancy O.W.L.”

“Really? That’s wicked!” Regardless, she could not help but feel awed. “I didn’t even know it was possible to move up classes!”

“ You wouldn’t,” he said, and it was only the light mirth in his eyes that stopped Hattie from bristling. If they were going to be acquaintances or even friends, she would have to learn not to take his disparaging comments personally. Lavender used to joke with her like that sometimes, in another life that did not exist, and Hattie had always been able to take that into stride. This was just like that, she told herself.

“Whatever.” Hattie rolled her eyes at him, picking her book back up that had been discarded with his arrival. “Stop distracting me - I’m trying to study.”

“Potions,” Tom said, deducing that fact from the cover of the book that was displayed in front of him. “Good choice - you might just be the worst brewer in the history of all witches and wizards. Maybe if you study a little, you’ll manage to get better than Longbottom.”

Hattie glowered at him. “I’m really rethinking this friendship thing right about now.”

“Forgive me,” Tom apologised, the corners of his mouth lifting up slightly. Did she just receive an apology and half a smile from Tom Riddle? Wonders would never cease. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

Working opposite Tom Riddle was torture due to how focused he could consistently remain. Usually, Hattie and Daphne tended to study for a maximum of twenty-five minutes, they would stop to complain about how tedious studying was, then they would branch off into general conversation, and then Theo would herd them both back towards the books again. Hattie could not sit and study for longer than an hour, and Theo would accompany her on a short walk of the grounds. Theo was elected because he was the only one who could get her back to studying afterwards.

Just like Hermione used to do.

With Tom, there were no breaks. He had not looked up from the exam questions that he was attempting for the past hour and a half, and Hattie was going stir-crazy. The words were dancing on the page, and she was bouncing her leg up and down.

Tom finally looked up, and Hattie was certain that he was gritting his teeth to stay calm. “What is it, Harriet?”

“I’m bored,” she smiled, guiltily. “Can we go on a walk please?”

“Why do you need me to come with you?” he huffed, setting his quill down.

“...So you can force me to get back to studying afterwards?” Hattie tilted her head pleadingly. “Please?”

“Come on.”

“Thank you!”

They walked mostly in silence outside to the grounds, Hattie practically speedwalking to keep up with Tom’s longer, brisk strides. The sun bathed them in its warmth, tenderly, unlike the sweaty and oppressive heat that was on its way in the upcoming weeks. Hattie broke the silence by sighing wistfully when the Quidditch Pitch came into view at the bottom of the hill.

“I miss Quidditch and it’s only been a couple of weeks since we won the Cup. Isn’t that weird?” She turned to Tom conversationally.

“Yes,” Tom answered, easily. He glanced down at her out of the corner of his eye. “I’ve never really seen the appeal of a sport that kills people.”

“What?” Hattie gaped at him, disbelievingly. “How can you not like Quidditch?”

“It’s a ridiculous sport - I don’t see why anyone would be interested in it.”

“But it’s Quidditch!” Hattie exclaimed, waving her hands around at the pitch in front of them like he was mad and she could make him see logic. “Everyone loves Quidditch!”

“That’s hardly a good enough reason,” Tom scoffed. He checked his watch. “It’s been ten minutes - time to go back and study.”

“Already? Can’t we stay a little while longer?”

“No.”

Hattie walked into her Potions exam inside Snape’s classroom in the Dungeons with the confidence of a woman who had achieved a complete mastery in the subject. 

Unfortunately, that was not the case.

The exam started off fine: Hattie set up her cauldron to brew, she pre-chopped all her ingredients perfectly, and then she began. However, it was following the instructions to an exact degree that Hattie struggled with. The room was incredibly hot and stuffy from the combined fumes released from the cauldrons, and it did not help that Snape never opened any windows and kept the curtains drawn at all hours of the day, choosing to light candles instead.

Hattie glared at the man discreetly as he sat at his desk and watched them all, taking immense pleasure in their suffering. His small smirk slipped when he saw Hattie - his least favourite person on this earthly realm - and Hattie smiled sweetly back at him, giving him a small wave. 

Her good humour did not last as her potion turned a putrid green and had the consistency of lumpy porridge, when in actuality it was supposed to be dark purple and translucent. Hattie scooped some up with a spoon, took a whiff, and gagged terribly. Tom, who was brewing beside her, shuffled away from her. 

“Twenty minutes,” Snape called from the front, watching Hattie’s misery in satisfaction.

Hattie knew that there was no miracle that was going to occur in the next twenty minutes that would aid her in somehow salvaging this atrocity. Therefore, she sat down and sulked. 

Across the classroom, Neville had chosen the same course of action as her, and they both shared a commiserating look. Daphne and Theo were both still brewing, and they both levelled her with sympathetic looks. 

“You OK?” Daphne mouthed. Hattie shot her a sarcastic thumbs-up. Theo snorted quietly next to Daphne. 

“Potter, stop trying to cheat, or I will have you disqualified!”

Hattie was pretty sure that she had disqualified herself.  

When the exam drew to a close, Hattie and Neville were amongst the first to leave the classroom after packing away. “How did it go, Nev?” He shook his head despairingly. Hattie sighed, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “Me too, buddy.”

“I revised the most for Potions as well, out of all my exams.” Neville seemed close to tears.

“Same!” Potions was the only exam she was required to take. Oops. “I can’t believe I messed up this bad!”

“Maybe we’ll do better in our O.W.L.s next year,” Neville said, not sounding very eager or convinced by his own words. 

“You’re right, Neville,” Hattie nodded, appraisingly. “Next year is going to be our year! We are definitely going to pass Potions.”

“How are we going to do that?”

“Er- I haven’t thought about that part yet.”

“Great.”

Once the exams had finished, it was only a matter of time until the Hogwarts Express departed from Hogsmeade Station towards King’s Cross station. Hattie, Theo and Daphne sat in a compartment together. Hattie laid her head on Daphne’s lap, as the blonde read a fashion magazine over her head, and Theo lounged across the seats opposite them.

“Any plans for the summer, Daphne?” Hattie inquired, looking up at the blonde.

“I think we’re going to visit my Aunt in Iceland next week,” said Daphne, rolling her eyes. “I can’t stand her. She always tells me I’ve gained weight. I’m sorry, Patricia, that I am heavier than I used to be when I was seven years old!”

“That’s horrible,” Hattie said sympathetically. “You’re perfect - don’t even listen to her.”

“Hattie,” Daphne said, very seriously. “I mean it when I say I would literally die for you.”

The brunette stiffened (she had already had enough people that she loved die for her) but thankfully the other two did not notice, as Theo brushed off Daphne’s declaration with a chuckle, “You’re so dramatic.”

“You should meet my grandmother, Theo,” Daphne scoffed. “Then you’d learn what dramatic really means.”

“I’ll have to have tea with her someday,” Theo said, wryly. “What about you, Hattie? Got any summer plans?”

Hattie hummed thoughtfully. “I’m not really sure, if I’m being honest. My Dad said he was trying to get Chelsea tickets for the start of the season - which would be the end of August - but he just never mentioned them again. Maybe he didn’t get them. But if he has, you both are definitely coming with me.” She pointed her finger at them both threateningly.

“Aren’t you scared of the muggles?” Daphne asked, tentatively.

Hattie snorted. “Why would I be scared of the muggles?”

“My mother used to tell me stories of muggles eating children.”

Hattie lifted her head from Daphne’s lap, sitting upright and staring in disbelief. “Daphne, my darling, I promise you that is not true.”

She left out the fact that cannibalism existed, but they were hardly going to find any cannibals at a Chelsea football match in one of the richest neighbourhoods in London, right?

Right?

When Hattie was a baby, James used to call her his heart. 

Before becoming a father, he had never known that it was possible to love something so small to this extent, that the same baby who cried for hours upon hours at night would also be the greatest happiness of his life. 

Postpartum, James wanted Lily to get as much rest as she could, so he always went to Hattie when she woke up crying at night. She had a healthy pair of lungs on her, much like James himself apparently had as a baby, and she would cry herself hoarse every night. James tried everything to soothe her: formula milk, diaper changes, walking around the house with her, singing to her, but none of it worked. Hattie would eventually tire herself out from crying and fell into a restless sleep.

She grew out of that habit as she got older, but over time, it escaped James’ notice as his daughter grew grumpier, became more of a recluse. She stopped coming out of her bedroom, she stopped liking her uncles, she stopped liking her parents. The only time she spoke to them was to scream something hateful that would leave James reeling for days. 

James used to think that the worst feeling in the world was not being proud of the child that you had raised. He was wrong. 

The worst feeling in the world was thinking that you had lost your child, that moment when their heart stops and you think that you are not a parent anymore. In that moment, James no longer cared that Hattie hated muggles and werewolves and her parents, but instead he wanted her to live. He did not care what she was like anymore: all he wanted was for her to live.  

James adored this version of Hattie that was sweet and kind and got along with her parents, but he would not care either if she still ranted and raved and spat in his face and told him that she hated him. All he wanted was for her to live. 

Sometimes, your children did not turn out how you imagined. And that was completely fine. 

The past couple of months at home had been a gift, a blessing in disguise, that he got to spend them with Hattie. It was like having his sweet little girl back, like James was walking backwards in time and restoring all the happiness that she had lost along the way. This time, James would do right by her. No matter how she turned out, if she got her memories back or not, he would love her regardless of it all.

His days had been lonely ever since she had returned to Hogwarts. He watched football alone in the evenings after work, and the season had ended shortly after she had left. He had put on one of the rom-coms she liked to watch, but they did not make him smile. 

He felt like a black hole whenever he visited his friends and family, his parents. Everyone else around him could be laughing and enjoying themselves but James’ heart had opened up into a steadily growing emptiness, threatening to engulf all that was good and happy. He missed his little girl. 

He missed his wife too of course, but he could always Floo-call Lily, and he could go up to Hogwarts to spend time with her. However, he could not seek out Hattie, like he desperately wanted, because her Mind Healer feared that there was risk that she was growing too dependent on him, from what she learned in their weekly appointments. Hattie needed to return to the normalcy of her real life, not her perceived life, and becoming her father’s tail was not on track with that.

One night, James was having a beer with Sirius at a pub near his house when he suddenly sighed. “Why do kids have to grow up, Padfoot?”

Sirius stared at him blankly. “Mate, what are you talking about?”

“It’s just… It’s easier to keep them safe when they’re little, y’know? Like, Hattie always wants to play Quidditch now,” James laughed, and he was embarrassed to admit that there was a painful lump in his throat. “And it nearly killed her, man. I nearly stopped being a Dad. I wouldn’t have been anybody’s Dad anymore–” James’ voice cracked, and he broke off, staring down at his pint glass.

“Don’t say that, Prongs.” Sirius’ voice was firm, and he squeezed James’ shoulder. “She’s fine now, and she's gonna stay fine, alright? Stop worrying.”

James reckoned that he did not understand, maybe because Tom was decidedly not a risk-taker, or maybe because Sirius was not the father of a daughter. Maybe fathers worried less about sons and more about daughters, but that had to be a ridiculous notion. James was certain that if he had a son, he would worry about him an equal amount, as he did with Hattie.

Maybe James just cared too damn much. 

On twenty-ninth of June, 1995, the school year ended at Hogwarts, and Lily Flooed home that very same morning, after making sure all the pupils had made it safely onto the train. She could have brought Hattie with her, but part of the Hogwarts experience was the train ride and Lily and James would never deprive their daughter of that.

James kissed his wife breathless as soon as she arrived home, his hands resting on her hips and pulling her flush against him. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and when she pulled away, she was smiling widely. “I’ve missed you too, loverboy.”

“I’ve made you coffee.”

“I fall in love with you a little more everyday,” Lily sighed, threading her fingers between James’.

It was easier to breathe now that Lily was back here to ground him. It could be a struggle maintaining a relationship when they both had demanding jobs: James’ Auror position occasionally required him to be away on missions for weeks at a time. They made it work for so many years, however. The distance only made their hearts grow fonder.

Dawn was settling over London as they arrived at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, in King’s Cross Station. James’ shoe tapped restlessly on the ground, his eyes scanning the carriages emerging with hordes of students for any sign of his daughter, and his wife squeezed his hand. On his other side, Sirius was standing on his tiptoes and craning his neck too. 

Remus - the tallest of them four - spotted Hattie first. “There’s your girl, James.”

She was looking around the bustling platform uncertainly, dragging her heavy trunk behind her and lugging Hedwig’s cage in hand, when all four of them started waving wildly and calling her name to get her attention. Of course, she spotted Remus first due to his bigger stature, and then her green eyes sought out James, and her face broke out into the biggest grin he had ever seen. 

James’ eyes were stinging for some reason.

He began heading towards her at a rapid pace, uncaring of the people he bumped into along the way. He nearly sent Lucius Malfoy flying onto the train track, but who cares about him really?

He gathered his daughter into his arms, lifting her off the ground slightly. The gaping hole in his heart, the complete and total emptiness began to fill itself the longer he held her. “Hi sweetheart.”

“Hi Dad,” she murmured, squeezing the death out of him and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. She was the first to let go. “I missed you so, so much!”

He took her trunk from her and Hedwig’s cage, and she linked her arm around his, despite it being occupied. James did not mind very much. She began to chat his ear off about everything that had happened in the past few weeks, despite the father and daughter keeping up rigorous correspondence.

James had two entire months now. Two months where he would get to see her everyday and ensure that she was safe. He was already dreading the 1st of September, when she would leave the safety net of their home again.

Is this how his parents used to feel?

They reached Lily, Remus and Sirius, where the latter was fussing over Tom who had joined them, and was embracing him. “I swear you’ve gotten taller since I last saw you–”

Although he smiled at the boy in greeting, James could hardly pay attention to Tom’s arrival, too busy listening to his daughter talking at a mile a minute. “–And don’t be mad, Dad, but I think I failed Potions–”

“That’s OK,” James said, smoothing Hattie’s hair down fondly. He did not think she had grown any taller in the month that she had been away, but he did think she was looking a little bit thinner. Post the incident, as their family had taken to calling the ominous event, she only ever ate to her heart’s content when prompted by her parents, James recalled sadly.

“Er- Really?” Hattie was puzzled.

“Really, James?” Lily did not sound impressed, crossing her arms over her chest. Lily was hardly strict when it came to grades, but she did wish for Hattie to do her best.

“Really.” James set down the trunk and embraced his daughter again, resting his chin on the top of her hair.

Children did not have to be brilliant at everything for their parents to love them. 

“I’ve made pasta with green gravy at home.” James always called it that, ever since Hattie had coined the term after her memory loss.

“...I feel like I’m being made fun of.”

Lily sighed. “That’s just what your Dad’s like, I’m afraid, sweetie.”

Chapter Text

The evening that Tom and Hattie returned from school, dinner was hosted at the Potter home. It was a peculiar feeling for Hattie to be excited to come home from school, when she used to dread the summer holidays so much, back when she lived with the Dursleys. Most children grew up fearing spiders or clowns; Hattie grew up fearing her uncle’s heavy hand. 

She chatted to James on the entirety of the way home, only stopping to take a breather when he Side-Along Apparated her. That feeling had not become any more welcome, and Hattie was certain that she would vomit this time. Thankfully, she did not, especially when Tom was present. They had only recently formed a tentative acquaintanceship - not quite friends, and Hattie having no reason to consider him an enemy any longer. Despite that, she still could not help but nurse slight reservations towards him. It was immensely trying to separate him from the idea of a man that she had feared and loathed her entire life.

Hattie stopped talking as they entered the house, not wanting to bore her father. She had been running her mouth endlessly since she had set eyes on him. Aunt Petunia did not used to appreciate it when Hattie spoke unless spoken too.

James looked down at her the instant she stopped talking. “Hey, you didn’t finish telling me about Daphne’s aunt.” Lily had unlocked the door and he set the trunk down in the hallway, right in the doorway. Lily glanced down at the trunk and then back up at James, arching an eyebrow. James rushed to move it out of the way. “Sorry, love.” Hattie stifled a giggle behind her hand when Lily exchanged an irritable look with her behind James’ back.

When James turned back to Hattie, expecting her to recommence her story, she fiddled with the sleeve of her pastel pink hoodie. “It’s not that interesting.”

“But I want to hear about it.” James appeared befuddled by her sudden withdrawal as they headed into the living room, Sirius, Remus and Tom following behind them. They were not paying attention to the Potters’ conversation, all three of them engaged in their own catching-up. 

“I think she’s tired, James,” Lily interjected, giving him a meaningful look. “Why don’t we go heat up dinner? I think it might be quite nice to sit outside.” Lily smiled pleasantly at Sirius and Remus. “Will you two darlings please set up the table outside?”

“Absolutely not,” Sirius refused, at the same time as Remus agreed, “Sure, Lily.”

Remus dragged Sirius along with him, and Sirius patted Lily on the head on his way out. “Good to have you back, Red.”

Lily scowled after him. “Wish I could say the same.”

Late June in Godric’s Hollow was particularly sweltering, so Hattie peeled off her hoodie and left it on the arm of the sofa, feeling more relaxed in her T-shirt and flare jeans before heading outside behind Tom. She sat in the chair opposite him, smiling amiably at him. He nodded, his lips curling up slightly, and it was the sort of smile that she knew was fake. It was nothing like the smile Sirius had received upon Tom’s arrival, the kind that brought a crinkle to his eyes and made his hollow, dark eyes appear lighter somehow. 

After setting down two dishes, Lily sat down on Hattie’s right, at the head of the table. James brought out the rest of the dishes, setting them down at the centre of the table, before sitting down in the chair to Hattie’s left. “I made this all by myself, so let me know what you all think,” he told them all, sounding giddy. 

Hattie exchanged a sceptical look with her mother, and Lily shook her head imperceptibly with a small smile. Hattie grinned back, her shoulders hunching up as she stifled another laugh, like they were in on a little secret, just the two of them.

From Tom’s right, Sirius scoffed. “Pfft- Yeah, right! Lily was probably breathing down your neck the entire time.”

“I did most of the work,” James insisted, and Lily raised her eyebrows as she took a long sip of her wine. “And besides, I used to cook for Hattie all the time when it was just me and her at home. You love my cooking, don’t you, my heart?” 

James smoothed a gentle hand over Hattie’s hair and she immediately nodded. “Mhm!” Her hum came out high-pitched. Only she knew the suffering of eating the eggs that James had prepared on her first day back from being home from the hospital. Following that occasion, she had always assisted with the cooking, thanking her faulty memories and the culinary skills that the phantom Aunt Petunia had passed onto her. 

Everyone laughed at her response, and even Tom seemed mildly entertained. He appeared fond of everyone here: his parents especially received plentiful grins from him and he smiled numerous times at James and Lily too. It was only Hattie who was not considered fully a part of his ‘inner circle.’

She found that a little odd since the start, considering they had supposedly known each other since they were eight years-old, when Tom had first been adopted. Nearly seven years and he didn’t hold even an ounce of warm feelings towards her?

Hattie would have to make that change if she wanted to get in Sirius’ good books. Sirius wholeheartedly adored Tom. It made Hattie’s heart ache, recalling the version of Sirius that had been her affectionate godfather. They had never been granted the opportunity to live together, due to Sirius’ fugitive lifestyle, but he had made his best effort to be semi-present in Hattie’s life. He had returned to the country where he was an outlaw just because someone had put Hattie’s name in the Goblet of Fire. 

At Hattie’s reaction, Sirius snorted loudly. “I’m surprised she didn’t die of food poisoning.”

In a blink, Lily and James both stiffened. Ever since The Incident, any mention of Hattie and the word death instantaneously set them both on edge. Sensing a crisis, Hattie jumped in, “Sirius, how’s work? I’ve always found being an Auror so interesting.”

Maybe she was laying it on a little thick there. Sirius blinked at the redirection, and on either side of her, her parents seemed to deflate too. They clearly did not want to make a big deal of the matter if Hattie had not noticed anything. 

“Really?” Tom spoke up from opposite her. “You know, you need a N.E.W.T. in Potions to become an Auror. And also, Transfiguration.” His lips pulled into a small smirk, clearly remembering as well as her how dissatisfactory her performance was in both subjects, and it infuriated Hattie for some reason. 

You’re trying to be his friend, you’re trying to get on Sirius’ good side. Punching him is not going to help that goal–

“Yeah, well–” Hattie scrambled for a response, her hackles rising defensively at first, before she settled for smiling sweetly at Tom. “I’m going to work extra hard in both subjects next year.”

Tom raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware you could work hard at anything.” James frowned from next to her at the open hostility, preparing to intervene but Hattie had this one handled. 

She knew how to win against Tom Riddle.

“You just don’t know me well enough yet.” She kept her smile glued to her face, and she could tell that Tom was expecting a rise from her and was disappointed that he had not received as such. Hattie turned her focus back to Sirius, acutely aware of Tom’s dark gaze boring into the side of her face. “So! What’s it like being an Auror?”

Sirius opened his mouth and closed it again, unsure of what to make of the exchange that had taken place between the two teenagers. He glanced at James quizzically, before his grey eyes settled back on Hattie. Where Tom’s eyes were dark caves, Sirius’ were pure light, and yet he was equally as difficult to read as his son. “It's a lot of paperwork and reports, if I’m being honest. So if your interest is in the practical side of it all, you might wanna bear that in mind.”

“Really?” Hattie was genuinely disheartened. She hated writing even the smallest of essays, and that would not be beneficial for a potential Auror.

James rushed in to reassure her. “Don’t write it out completely, Hattie. There’s pros and cons to every job out there.”

“True,” she conceded with a shrug.

Once the conversation moved on, James murmured under his breath, so as not to embarrass her by drawing attention, “Why aren’t you eating, little Miss?”

“Oh.” She looked down at her empty plate. “I don’t know.” Truthfully, she had not realised. It had been a normal occurrence for her not to eat whilst the Dursleys did. She would help Aunt Petunia with the cooking and then she would wait and see if they needed anything else served before she sat down near the end of their meal. She mainly received scraps of whatever was leftover in the tray. The power dynamics at home were different compared to Hogwarts - where all the people she sat with were her friends and equals and were equally concerned with stuffing their own faces. She knew her parents expected her to eat, yet old habits die hard.

James took her plate and started to serve her a little bit of everything, spooning extra pesto pasta (her beloved green gravy pasta). “There you go, my angel.” He set the plate back down in front of her. “Make sure you eat all your vegetables.” He told her mock-sternly, pinching her cheek, and she laughed. 

She caught Tom glancing over at them, and her cheeks heated up at him noticing. She felt ashamed that she was messed up to such an extent that she could not even function at a casual meal.

Hattie tuned back into the conversation around her, where Sirius was ranting passionately about something, “-Yeah, Mum’s planned a get-together at the Manor next week. What has she told you two to bring? Because I’m on salad duty and I thought we all agreed that I’m not allowed near knives anymore–”

“Whose Mum? Yours, Sirius?” Hattie inquired curiously. All the grown-ups around her straightened, and Hattie felt distinctly uncomfortable by the suddenly serious atmosphere. She suddenly wished she had not spoken out of turn, she wished she had just gone to her bedroom the second she had gotten home like she would have done with the Dursleys–

“In a manner of speaking,” he smiled tightly. Was his family a touchy subject? She had never talked to her Sirius about his family. Now that she thought about it, most of their conversations had centered around Hattie: the tournament that Hattie was participating in, Hattie’s problems, Hattie’s friends, Hattie’s home situation… Her stomach roiled with nausea and guilt, and she set her fork down, not feeling very hungry anymore. 

“We’re talking about your grandmother, Hattie,” Lily told her delicately. “We hadn’t been able to tell you before, due to your Healer’s advice. We didn’t want to overwhelm you with any more people than you already knew, especially since you remembered different versions of us all. Your grandparents are hosting a dinner party next week so you can meet them, if you’d like to. Some of our friends will be there too.”

“There’s no pressure,” James added, hurriedly. The last thing they wanted to do was spook her.

“I have grandparents ?” Hattie was mystified, alight with wonder, because grandparents had always been such a foreign concept to her. She had only ever heard of them in stories that other people told her - like Neville’s grandmother, or Theo’s eccentric grandpa who had mysteriously died when Theo’s father turned seventeen. 

As he always did, James confronted her oddities with complete nonchalance. “Of course you do. Do you think I just appeared on the planet on an odd Tuesday?” Hattie’s sheepish smile indicated that she clearly did think that. James laughed loudly, pressing a fond kiss to the top of Hattie’s head. “Oh, my sweet summer child…”

“How about you, Mum?” Hattie twisted in her chair to meet Lily’s eyes. They were identical to her own, bright and expressive as people had always told her, and it was much like looking into a mirror. Her similarities to her parents always filled her with a fuzzy warmth, because they were hers. “Will we be meeting your parents too?”

Lily smiled at her daughter, the expression bittersweet and tinged with melancholia. “I’m afraid not, sweetheart. They’re not here anymore.”

Oh. A mournful crease appeared between Hattie’s brows and she wrapped her arms around her mother’s middle. “I’m sorry, Mum. I know how you feel. I never had parents before you two either.” James and Lily shared a look over Hattie’s head, neither of them knowing how to respond to that .

Sirius cleared his throat loudly. “Who wants more wine?” Remus kicked him under the table.

“Me,” Tom muttered, and not even his presence could make Hattie embarrassed to be hugging her mother. She had missed fourteen years with them. Now was her chance to make up for every missed moment, every second that had been spent in misery and loneliness. 

“Nice try, bud.” Sirius nudged Tom’s upper arm. “I’ll give you a sip of my wine if you make the salad for me for dinner next week.”

“Sirius!” Remus exclaimed, scandalised. 

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” Sirius raised his hands in surrender, and Hattie giggled. He winked at her. 

Lily was incredibly aware of how anxious Hattie was feeling about meeting her grandparents and aunts. She asked James and Lily numerous questions about them in the upcoming week, which they answered with the utmost patience. Hattie’s therapy sessions were still continuing with her Mind Healer bi-weekly. Unfortunately, Hattie was yet to make any progress with regaining her memories, but they also discussed other issues such as Hattie’s relationship with food and her anxieties regarding meeting her extended family. 

After every therapy session, Healer Selwyn debriefed with Lily, as was the protocol due to Hattie being a minor. “Come in, please.” Healer Selwyn held the door open for her, and she gestured for Lily to sit down on the plush armchair. 

“How is she doing?” Lily questioned, her heart always in her throat at this time of the week. 

“We’re not seeing any improvement on regaining the memories, I’m afraid,” Healer Selwyn said gently, knowing how difficult this was for both of Hattie’s parents. They wanted their child to improve, to get better. “We’ve been discussing some of her behaviours, and I would say that most of them stem from an unhealthy relationship with her family in this other life that her mind has created to protect herself from the trauma.”

“Right,” Lily nodded. “My sister and her husband.” It left a foul taste in her mouth to think of any reality where she would leave her only child with Petunia and her ghastly husband upon her untimely demise.

“Yes,” Healer Selwyn affirmed. “It might be beneficial for Hattie to meet them, if she hasn’t already, so that she can differentiate between reality and fiction.”

Lily’s spine stiffened in the chair. “I’m afraid that won’t be possible. My sister and I… we’re not on good terms.” Which was a gross understatement, since Lily and Petunia had not spoken since their parents’ funeral.

“Just a thought,” Healer Selwyn inclined her head respectfully. They moved onto other matters.

When Lily exited the office, Hattie did not immediately look towards her like she usually did. Instead, her eyes were trained on a young mother playing a little game with her six year-old whilst sitting in the waiting room. Both of them were giggling quietly.

Lily approached her daughter softly, resting a hand on her shoulder and making Hattie startle terribly. Lily retracted her hand. “Sorry.”

“It’s OK.” Hattie smiled shakily at her, standing up. “Can we go please?”

“‘Course we can,” Lily nodded empathetically, examining her daughter closely. “Is everything alright?”

“Yep!” Hattie’s voice was high-pitched and frantic like it always was when she was telling an untruth. 

On the day of their visit to Potter Manor, Hattie fretted over her outfit for an hour, and Lily helped her narrow down a final option - a white sundress that stopped a little above her knees and she looked positively angelic in it. Hattie sat at her vanity, about to do her hair, but Lily took the brush, meeting her daughter’s eyes in the mirror. “Can I?”

Hattie was frozen for a moment, before she nodded. Lily smiled, starting to comb through her daughter’s luscious light brown waves that trailed down to below her waist now. “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart,” Lily told her, pulling parts of Hattie’s hair back into a loose half-up-half-down style.

Hattie’s shoulders shook slightly. Lily glanced into the mirror in concern: her daughter’s head was bowed and there was no mistaking the tears trailing down her cheeks. Lily sat down on the stool with Hattie, pulling her daughter close with a sigh, and her own heart felt heavy too. Hattie’s tears tugged at her heartstrings. “It’s alright, baby, you can cry if you want to.”

Lily rubbed soothing circles over her daughter’s back, as she sobbed quietly, brokenly, into her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Hattie pulled back, hiccoughing as she swiped at her tears. 

“Don’t be sorry, it’s fine.” Lily pulled Hattie’s hands from her face, pressing a kiss to each of her cheeks. 

“N-nobody’s ever done my hair before,” Hattie admitted forlornly, her head resting on her mother’s shoulder. “And I’m always scared this is just gonna be a really good dream, and you and Dad will both be gone and I’ll have no one–”

Lily’s heart shattered, because she always used to do Hattie’s hair when she was a child, and to think that her child had no memory of being loved, of being cherished, of being the centre of her world… It hurts terribly. 

She could not even begin to comprehend how Hattie must feel, constantly having to worry about all her loved ones being taken from her again.

“Hattie,” Lily said to her, quietly. “My poor Hattie. My poor sweetheart.” 

And with that, Hattie started to cry even more, for no one had ever called her sweetheart before her mother. “My sweetheart,” Lily said again, sounding terribly choked up, and Hattie wanted her to stop; she wanted her to never stop. No one had ever thought her worthy of comfort before. “My poor, poor baby.” 

And Hattie cried and cried, cried for everything she has been, for everything she might have been.

She cried for the shame and joy of finally getting to be a child, with all of a child’s whims and wants and insecurities, for the privilege of behaving badly and being forgiven, for the luxury of tendernesses, of fondnesses, of being served a meal and being made to eat it, for the ability, at last, at last, of believing a parent’s reassurances, of believing that to someone she was special despite all her mistakes and hatefulness, because of all her mistakes and hatefulness.

Other than her slightly red eyes, there was no evidence of Hattie’s tears when Lily led her downstairs, her hand tucked into her mother’s hand like she was a little girl again. 

In a way, she always would be Lily’s little girl.

James mimed fainting when he saw Lily in her light green sundress, and Lily made a face at him, but it lacked her usual playfulness. She was still exceedingly disturbed and upset by how miserable her daughter had been. How long had she been feeling like this whilst Lily was blissfully unaware? She felt sick to her stomach.

She smiled along with James when he complimented their gorgeous girl, and he twirled Hattie around in the hallway. Hattie laughed, like she did not truly believe their compliments, and it saddened Lily more. 

How was Lily supposed to help her? How was Lily supposed to show her that which was plain and open for the rest of the world to see - that she was beautiful and loved?

Lily had no idea. Perhaps that was the greatest struggle of being a parent to a child: she was meant to know all the answers, she was meant to be the one in charge. 

Right now, all Lily wanted was to cry in her own mother’s arms.

Chapter Text

Tom wanted to say that he genuinely enjoyed these ‘family’ gatherings but he was not in the habit of lying to himself. 

When Tom thought of those that he considered family, his immediate answer was Remus and Sirius of course: they were his parents, and they would only ever be his. He had never been open to the idea of siblings, and neither of the two had ever proposed it, thankfully. Perhaps they were already aware that Tom jealously guarded and coveted what was his. 

He liked James and Lily well enough, mainly due to the companionship that they provided to his parents, and he knew how much the four of them adored each other. Euphemia Potter could be pleasant to talk to, mainly due to her amiable, caring nature, and after years of knowing her now, Tom was sure that she had no ulterior motives. He used to be of the belief that no one could be truly kind, but that notion had been disproved over time after meeting these people who cared about him for no reason other than that they wanted to. 

However, Tom could absolutely not stand her husband, Fleamont Potter: he was an unbearable hybrid of all of James and Sirius’ irritating childishnesses contained in an elderly man, and he could find a reason to complain about everything under the sun. Fleamont had a seat on the Wizengamot, but he rarely ever attended because he did not want to be “stuck with boring sods like Malfoy and Avery.” It infuriated Tom to no end: if one wanted to see change in the world, it began with rectifying the laws in the country, in sitting through the Wizengamot meetings and making sure that your voice was heard. 

Unfortunately, Sirius practically considered Fleamont his father, so Tom had to rein in his extreme dislike of the man. His harsh feelings were tempered by the fact that Fleamont was extremely knowledgeable when it came to all types of potions (he had generated an immeasurable fortune for the many Potter generations to come) and he was generous with that knowledge, just as he was generous in all other other aspects of life - with his kindness, with his affection, with his wealth. Tom could not begrudge the fact that the man had a big heart.

Despite Sirius’ attachment to the Potters, Tom had never been able to think of them as family. He more or less thought of them all as friends (maybe not Fleamont, and Hattie’s case was still quite complicated).

Even worse than Fleamont was Marlene McKinnon, with her bubbly nature and never-ending optimism. Tom was always left feeling quite overstimulated after a conversation with her: like Hattie, she talked at a mile a minute and she made wild hand gestures and she would jump from one topic to another, leaving Tom to give her short, clipped answers. She never found his brief responses rude, and to Tom’s chagrin, she would still seek him out. 

Her wife - Dorcas - was tolerable, mainly because she was not as chatty and was content to let her wife take the spotlight. Tom wished that Dorcas would speak up more, mainly so he would not have to hear Marlene’s voice grating at his eardrums. At least when Dorcas spoke she actually had something intelligent to say.

To everyone’s surprise - including his own - Tom was remarkably fond of his father’s brother - Regulus - and his six year-old daughter, Amelia. There had been a lot of animosity between the Black brothers in their younger years, for reasons that Tom was presently unaware of, but they had reconnected by chance shortly after Tom had been adopted and Amelia was due to be born. 

It had taken time for Tom to warm up to Amelia. He had found it easier to connect with Regulus, primarily because the man looked so much like his older brother, and he was a much calmer, more thoughtful version of Sirius. Similar to Tom’s eventual plan, Regulus was also in the field of politics, after completing a very successful Quidditch career as a seeker for some team that Tom did not care to remember the name of, and Regulus actually attended Wizengamot meetings, claiming the seat that had once been his father’s, and his grandfather’s before that…

“Do you not feel jealous?” Tom had once asked Sirius, because he knew that he would definitely feel that way. “That he gets the seat and you don’t?”

Sirius had laughed in uproarious humour, and it had ticked Tom off. Just a little bit. “Trust me, mate - I’ve been jealous of Reg over a lot of things, but politics is definitely not one of them.”

Eventually, Tom had been practically compelled to like Amelia, because she was far too persistent, just like her Uncle Sirius. Amelia’s parents separated a few years after she was born, and her mother was sporadically in and out of the child’s life, always leaving little Amy crushed and distraught afterwards. Tom absolutely despised that woman.

The dinner party at the end of the school year started just like no other: Tom exchanged a bunch of pleasantries upon his arrival and became the unwilling recipient of warm hugs from everyone present. Remus sent him a secretive thumbs-up for playing nicely, and Tom sent him a broad, sarcastic grin. Remus hid his chuckles behind his palm. Tom wished that Regulus and Amelia were present at Potter Manor, but Regulus only ever attended get-togethers that were hosted around his brother’s home. He was on cordial terms with the Potters, of course, but they were not friendly enough that Regulus felt comfortable intruding upon their family gatherings.

Tom had considered asking Remus and Sirius if he could just spend the day with Regulus and Amelia - his proper family - but he had decided against that particular course of action: Sirius was always eager that Tom get along with his surrogate parents and it would upset him if Tom did not attend this useless dinner. Unfortunately, Tom would do anything that Sirius asked of him. 

“James is late as always,” Euphemia sighed, glancing at the ornate clock hung on the tall walls of the Manor. 

“He’s probably staring at his hair in the mirror, Mum.” Sirius stepped forward to greet Euphemia, pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

Fleamont snorted at Sirius’ comment, patting him on the back. “Or at his wife. Come on, you. Help me with the barbecue.”

“UH–”

James had bought a barbecue for his own garden a couple of summers ago, and Fleamont had been instantly enamoured with the metal contraption that resulted in the the most succulent chicken legs and lamb chops known to mankind (Lily marinated the meat, of course - James was hopeless at anything that required real skill). Due to Fleamont’s fascination, James had gotten his father a barbecue of his own, and father and son had an unspoken competition to see who would receive the most compliments on their “hard work.”

As Sirius was dragged out to the garden to help and Remus began talking to Dorcas and Euphemia, Tom was forced into conversation with Marlene, who began interrogating him about school before moving onto whatever she was doing with her life. Everything that Tom knew about this woman was against his will. 

However, one thing he could say for her is that she taught him the importance of aesthetic appearance. Marlene was absolutely gorgeous - that was the only appropriate word to describe her - with her long, curly blonde hair and cobalt blue eyes. Tom understood the necessity of beauty if one wanted to move up in the world: he doubted that anyone would give him the time of day if he did not look how he did. Either way, Tom’s brilliance would make up for any shortcomings in his looks. Fortunately, that is no problem for him.

In the midst of conversation, Marlene suddenly paused, her gaze transfixed on the doorway through which the remaining Potters had entered. Hattie stood between her parents, almost going unnoticed due to her shorter stature when caged in with the taller couple. The mother and daughter were wearing sundresses of a similar style: Lily’s in moss green, and Hattie’s in pure white. She was reminiscent of a dove on an early spring morning, and Tom could not help but take note of how lovely she looked. He may be a cynic, but he was nowhere near blind. 

Marlene was the first to approach her, and Dorcas and Euphemia followed closely behind. Remus and Tom hung back slightly, in order to not crowd her like these women were planning to do. “Hattie! It’s lovely to see you, sweetheart!” Tom thought that he might just throw up from how thickly she was laying it on. 

“It’s nice to see you too.” Hattie mustered a smile that came out strained, her bottom lip faltering slightly. Her eyes were red-rimmed, like she had been crying, and it was made all the more obvious by the manner with which the redness contrasted the deep green of her irises. The laws of complementary colours, Tom thought. He had never seen such vivid green eyes on anyone except Lily and Hattie, and even strangers in the streets sometimes stopped to compliment them. “Aunt Marlene, right?”

“You remember who I am?” Marlene’s eyes were wide with hope and elation. Prior to Hattie’s accident, Marlene had been the one person in the family that she was closest to.

“Er-” Hattie glanced sideways towards James, who squeezed her shoulder encouragingly. “No. My Dad showed me pictures of you all before I came, and he told me your names.”

Sirius, who had somehow sneaked away from Fleamont in the garden, started cackling as Marlene visibly deflated. In return, Marlene kicked him in the shin, and before a full-fledged fight could erupt, Euphemia silenced Sirius with a single sharp glance. “Sirius.”

“We’re only playing around, Ma.” Sirius threw an arm around Marlene’s shoulders and started messing her hair up with his fist.

“Ignore those two,” Euphemia rolled her eyes performatively in front of Hattie, which elicited a giggle that was too high-pitched to be genuine. Tom knew what Hattie’s real laugh sounded like: he heard it enough when she sat behind him in Transfiguration. “I don’t know if my son has mentioned me to you - knowing him, he probably hasn’t–”

“Of course I did, Mum!” James whined, and usually this would elicit at least some mirth from Hattie. On this particular occasion, she just stared ahead blankly. Due to the smile pasted permanently on her face, no one else seemed to notice what Tom was seeing, except Lily, who was observing her daughter with a concerned frown.

Euphemia raised an eyebrow at him. “Sure you did. Anyway–” She turned towards her sole grandchild, practically radiating warmth and affection. “I’m your grandma, darling. I know how challenging this must be for you, so please feel free to call me whatever you like. Effie, Mia, Gran, Nana - you used to call me Nana actually. Before, ahem…” She trailed off, before suddenly switching the subject. “I’ll just go and check on how Monty’s coming along with the barbecue and then we’ll all sit down to eat.”

In Euphemia’s absence, and when Marlene and Dorcas’ attention was diverted towards Lily, Hattie mouthed to her father, “Who’s Monty?”

“My Dad.” 

Hattie’s puzzlement turned to recognition, her eyes widening. “Ohhhh.”

As James was drawn into conversation with the remaining adults in the room, Hattie let herself hang back, feeling incredibly out of place in this setting. Tom found it strangely fascinating to witness this version of her: this new memory- less version of her had been so carefree and confident in school, yet she had a tendency to withdraw into herself when surrounded by grown-ups. 

Tom did not know why the hunch of her shoulders and her head hanging low as she fiddled with the hem of her dress made his stomach feel queasy. Maybe it was because Tom still recalled what it was like when he had first been introduced to this family. It was not an experience for the weak.

Eight year-old Hattie had been kind to Tom when he had first been adopted, welcoming him into the fold and letting him play with her toys with the ease of a child who had never been denied a single luxury in her life. Her kindness had all come crashing down gradually, when she realised that he was receiving more attention than her. 

But still. Tom owed her a debt for that generosity. Maybe that feeling in his gut was guilt rather than sympathy, because how could Tom feel anything more than apathy for a girl that he could not stand? Hattie was careless when it came to her studies, she started baseless, minor quarrels with him over everything and she constantly ranted about Quidditch. That alone knocked her down to the bottom of his list. Not quite at the bottom, though. She was still above 

“You look just as pleased as I am to be here.” Tom approached her slowly, calculatingly, with his hands in his pockets in an attempt to appear casual. She would likely just brush off his attempt at conversation, and Tom could be content with the fact that he had done his good deed of the day - Remus would be so proud of him–

Therefore, it astounded Tom to see her almost relieved to find him here. “Is it that obvious?” She smiled at him, sheepishly. 

“It is when you’re usually smiling constantly like a raging delinquent,” Tom said, dryly. 

Hattie’s mouth fell open in mock-offense, and Tom was certain that he heard a surprised laugh slip past her lips. “I do not. That is so rude!”

“Just telling the truth,” Tom shrugged, like he had committed a pious act for the benefit of all of humanity. 

“Maybe I save my nice smiles for those who deserve them.” Hattie rolled her eyes, but a small smile played on her lips. Tom’s eyes were drawn to the rosy colour of her lips. 

Tom did not know what compelled him to say his next words, after a low hum sounded in his throat and his lips curled up with amusement. “You must think I’m pretty deserving then.”

“Not even a little bit.” The impact of her words was dimmed by the radiance of her smile. His response died on his lips, and he stood there, frozen. Tom had never been too talented with a paintbrush, but he was suddenly overcome with the urge to paint her, to immortalize this moment in which her beauty was only shining upon him. 

What is wrong with me today–

Tom was saved from answering by Fleamont’s dramatic re-entry into the lounge. “I hear my angel granddaughter has arrived! Where is she?” In front of Tom, Hattie stiffened at the focus shifting back to her.

“By the way, I’m here too, Dad.” James waved his arms in the air, jokingly.

Fleamont stopped to comically frown at his son. “Who invited you?” He turned to Euphemia, who had followed her husband back inside. “Did you invite him? Because I definitely didn’t invite him.”

“He tagged along with me.” Lily raised a hand. “Sorry, Fleamont. I also wish I had left him at home.”

“No harm done, Lily.” Fleamont poked his son’s grumpy expression teasingly. “Will someone tell me where my granddaughter is, now?”

“Hello, sir,” Hattie stepped forward to greet Fleamont, timidly. 

“None of that sir business!” Fleamont pulled Hattie into a hug, and Tom was just as horrified as Hattie appeared to be to see that the old man’s eyes were swimming with tears. “My poor baby– I was worried sick about you–” Tom rolled his eyes when nobody was looking. 

“It’s OK,” Hattie murmured, patting him on the back and seeming dreadfully uncomfortable with this entire situation.

“Shall we all have dinner?” James suggested loudly, obviously picking up on Hattie’s discomfort, and Lily and Euphemia immediately jumped onto the idea. 

Tom found himself sitting next to Hattie in the dining room (of which the Potters had three) and for once, he did not find himself minding the idea, even when Sirius discreetly offered to switch with him if he wanted. What bothered Tom was her uncharacteristic silence and how she pushed the food around her plate (usually she would have inhaled it). 

His concern was… odd, to say the least.