daughterofhemera
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Harry Potter and the Stupid Fucking Triwizard Tournament by notatakenusername
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Jul 2025
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Summary
“‘...issues an apology for what he has said and done.’” Snape finished, flicking the Daily Prophet shut and looking at Harry expectantly. Did he expect him to get upset?
“Borrrrringgg!” Harry blurted out, as Snape’s gaze fixated into a scowl.
“Boring, Potter? Boring? The most publicized newspaper berating you and talking about your pathetic love life is boring?” Snape sneered.
“Yeah, it kinda is,” Harry said as he fake yawned. “My love life isn't pathetic. I don’t even have a love life. Nor do you, and you probably won’t have one anytime soon if your ego continues to stay the same size as your nose.”
The Slytherins gaped at Harry, a few openly chuckling as Snape’s expression shifted into the constipation™ look. Ron abruptly laughed so hard he proceeded to accidentally knock over the bottle of stinksap onto Snape’s robes.
Harry finally burst out laughing. He really couldn’t help it this time.
Or,
The moment Harry James Potter hears his name come out of the stupid, obese, wine-glass doppelganger, (also known as the Goblet of Fire), he's done holding himself back. Cue the chaos that happens when he gives into his impulsive thoughts.
Series
- Part 1 of crack fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,143
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 721
- Kudos:
- 3,739
- Bookmarks:
- 1,085
- Hits:
- 78,480
Bookmarked by daughterofhemera
24 Sep 2025
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Summary
In his moments of lucidity in the hospital—God, it seems like so long ago—Gwen told him about what he’d missed. The search, the dreams, seeing the ghosts of the boys just minutes before arriving at the house,
“It was the wrong house,” she had whispered to him, “the bastard had two.”
“It’s okay,” he had breathed, even though it hurt his chest, “it’s okay.” He didn't know what else to say.
His eyes were closed, but he had the feeling that his sister was giving him one of her sad smiles. He’d seen it so many times before. She sniffed, and he knew she was holding back tears.
“It’s not.” she whispered, “I almost lost you.”
Finney had fallen asleep again before he could respond, but he heard the unsaid sentence.
I might still lose you.
Or,
Finney fell asleep in a hospital bed, hanging on by a thread due to a final wound caused by the Grabber. 2 days and 7 hours after making it out, Finney dies due to his injuries.
Finney wakes up in his own bed, confused to hell and back, and decides he’s doing to make it everyone’s problem.
(Summary might change haha)