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robin's egg blue

Summary:

Tim's mom finds out who Batman is and stops Tim from becoming Robin in this AU.

Chapter 1: something has to change

Chapter Text

Janet looked at the photographs in Tim’s room, careful not to disturb anything. As she gently searched through the clutter for an explanation. Sifting through dirty laundry and soda cans was the least of her worries, and to her dismay, she found exactly what she’d been looking for. Proof of Tim’s comings and goings through a few receipts and tickets, some from Blüdhaven and others from Manhattan. All on the dates he was supposed to be on a school trip. “Jack, do you know where Tim is?” Janet shouted. 

Jack stopped in the hall and looked at her with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. “Huh?” Jack asked. Janet shook her head.

“Nevermind, Jack… I think we should spend some time with Tim,” Janet replied. Jack held up a finger while he went to the bathroom to rinse out his mouth. By the time he returned, Janet had stepped into the hall and shut Tim’s door on her way out. 

“What do you mean?” Jack asked.

“Tim. Our son. I want him to be with us,” Janet answered, “I don’t want to miss any more of his life.” Jack scratched his head. Janet sighed.

“What?” Jack asked.

I’m sorry, but are you having some sort of brain malfunction right now? What? Huh? I want Timothy Jackson Drake with us. I want to see our son grow up. I am tired, Jack. If we are absent any longer, we could lose him,” Janet emphasized as she walked past him to her office. 

Jack followed closely behind her and sat down in his chair in the corner of the room, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I know what you said, but I’m trying to get a better understanding of what you want to do. Do you want to take him with us? Do you want to stay home with him? What are you saying? What’s your plan, Janet?” Jack asked. Janet’s face dropped into her hands as she tried to think of an answer. Her fingers arched and combed through her hair. “Listen, I’d love to spend more time with Tim, but we can’t drop our lives, and we can’t expect Tim to drop his—.”

“I think this is why things aren’t working… We’ve become business partners and drifted into a loveless marriage kept alive by our business and the fear of disappointing the child we never see,” Janet sighed, “This is swallowing our family whole.” Janet looked up at him, her eyes pleading with him as he sank into his recliner. And as if something clicked, Jack shot up in his chair and leaned forward.

“What changed? Something changed just now when you were in his room. What aren’t you telling me? You said we’re gonna lose him. What did you mean when you said—?” 

Janet held up one finger to keep him quiet. She listened to the sound of Tim’s footsteps as he ran up the stairs and past their office. “I miss him. That’s all,” Janet lied. If she told Jack the truth, she risked him blowing up on Tim and forcing him to shut down. But it was more than that. She couldn’t stop shaking as she said it, but Jack never looked at her anymore. Not really. He wouldn’t have noticed. His mind was always on his work. “Do you think he noticed us?”

“No… Tim’s in his own world. He’s always been that way,” Jack replied. 

“Stay here, I want to check in with him really qui—.”

“I can—.”

“No, you get some rest. Okay?” Janet whispered. Jack nodded as he shut his eyes to take a short nap in Janet’s absence. 

The hallway felt miles long as Janet walked to Tim’s room. She wasn’t sure how to approach the situation, but she couldn’t stay silent after what she’d seen. She stopped outside his bedroom door and hesitated long enough to hear Tim’s music blaring on the other side. Janet knocked with an uncomfortably heavy hand and the music stopped. She knocked softly a second time to reassure Tim that he heard correctly. “Just a minute! I’m changing!” Tim shouted. She waited patiently without a word, almost softening at the sound of his voice. It’d been so long since she heard Tim’s voice. Her assistant always had her phone, and Janet could only assume that he was deleting Tim’s voicemails. 

Tim swung the door open, and Janet embraced him. He tensed with shock, not expecting to see her, but he quickly reciprocated, tightly wrapping his arms around her. 

“Mom, what are you doing—?” 

“Can we talk for a minute? Also, I wanna apologize ahead of time. I invaded your privacy without meaning to, and I—.” Tim let go and backed away from her. “Tim, I would like to speak to you… Can we talk in your room?” Janet asked. 

Tim let her in, and she shut the door. “Am I in trouble?” Tim asked. “You’re scaring me.” He sat on his bed and she sat in a chair across from him. 

“No. Of course, you’re not in trouble. I love you… And I—. Tim, I found something that scared me,” Janet whispered. She lifted up a pizza box on Tim’s desk to reveal the pictures she found. “Did you take these?” Tim nodded, expecting Janet to shout at him. He’d seen her tear people to shreds for much less. “They’re good, but I—.” Janet’s words caught in her throat, and she started to cry. Tim shot up, his eyes wide as he tried to figure out what to do. Tim had never seen his mother cry before. “This was so dangerous, Timmy. What if something happened to you out there? I wouldn’t have—. Where was I when you took this?” 

“I think you were in Mozambique or Madagascar… Mom, I—.” 

“Is it because you’re lonely?” Janet interrupted as she tried to wipe her tears away. “Is it because we’re not home enough?” 

Tim frowned. “You weren’t supposed to notice I was gone… I just wanted to help Batman remember that Gotham needs him,” Tim explained quickly, so he wouldn’t give way to tears. 

Janet tried to collect herself, but she was already in the middle of a severe panic attack. Her mind raced through every tragic accident that Tim could’ve fallen victim to. She wouldn’t have been able to prevent it. 

“Mom, I—. I’m not gonna do this forever. I just need to remind him to see how reckless he’s—.”

“But, Tim—. You can’t do this anymore. You’re my only baby. I—. I—. Let me talk to him as your mother,” Janet replied. As soon as she said it, she realized how irrational it sounded. But she was desperate to stop Tim from getting hurt. 

Tim smiled and shook his head. “Mom, all due respect, but I—.”

“I climbed Mount Everest before you were born, I hiked Huayna Picchu the summer before you were born, and I’ve paddled an uninterrupted twenty-seven hours from Cuba to Florida with you strapped to my back—. All this is to say that I’m much tougher than you give me credit for. I’m your mom, and I have to keep you safe even if it’s from yourself. There’s only one you,” Janet whispered. She pinched his cheek, and he wanted to argue… But it was his mother. He probably would have argued with Jack about it, but Janet had a way of convincing people that her way was the only way. 

She looked at the other pictures that she found and glanced at Tim. She wiped her tears away. “These are—.” Janet cleared her throat. “These are really good, Tim. Don’t be discouraged from following through with photography… Um… Have you eaten yet?” Janet asked. Tim shook his head. “Okay. I can probably rustle something up. Don’t tell your dad about this. I didn’t want him to blow up before I could talk to you. I wanna talk more about this later. Okay?”

Chapter 2: the end

Chapter Text

They sat at the dinner table for their first family dinner in what felt like years. Janet poured apple juice into Tim’s cup before kissing his temple. Jack cut his steak into little bite-sized pieces while Tim made Janet’s plate. “Oh, Tim, you don’t have—.” 

“I want to,” Tim interrupted as he served her. Janet smiled and sat between Jack and Tim. Jack dug in while Tim made his plate and Janet poured a glass of wine for herself. 

He held up his empty glass, and she poured wine into it before announcing, “Your father and I wanted to discuss something with you.” 

Tim dropped his fork and took a sip of his juice. Jack was so engrossed in his meal that he didn’t hear his cue to speak. Janet’s jaw tightened as she nudged him. “Oh, um… This steak was cooked to perfection. Isn’t that right, Tim?” Jack asked. 

“Jack… Our discussion,” Janet emphasized through her teeth. 

“Oh! Tim, your mom and I were thinking about spending more time with you… And we wanted to know if you’d consider traveling with us,” Jack explained. Janet paused, waiting for Jack to keep speaking. 

Or… We could stay home more,” Janet added. 

“We didn’t discuss that, Janet,” Jack whispered. Janet’s jaw jutted to the left as she realized Jack had no intention to stop traveling for work. Tim opened his mouth to speak, but a rapidly escalating argument cut him off. Tim tried to look down at his plate as he stuffed his face to ignore his pounding heartbeat. He hated it when his parents fought, but they usually tried to argue in the privacy of their bedroom. And they never argued about him before.  

The argument burned out of control like a forest fire until Janet said the one thing she couldn’t take back. “This is why I want a divorce!” Janet shouted. Tim couldn’t stomach it anymore. He pushed away from the table and rushed to the guest bathroom to throw up. Jack stood up and wavered as the wine took effect, and Janet rushed past Jack to check on Tim. 

“Tim? Can I come in?” Janet asked. Tim didn’t answer. “Make noise if you want me to stay outside.” Silence. 

She opened the door just wide enough to slide inside, and she sat on the floor beside him. He couldn’t stop shaking as he hunched over the toilet. Janet hesitated before rubbing his back, expecting him to flinch away or snap at her. Instead, he burst into tears. “Oh, Timmy… Sweetheart, I shouldn’t have said that. I meant it, but I shouldn’t have said it like that,” Janet whispered. Tim cried into the toilet bowl until Janet pulled him into her arms. “I know… I know, but it’s been a long time coming. It wasn’t your fault. You’re a good boy.” Janet held him close as she kissed his temple. 

“But you said it because—.” 

“I said it because it should’ve been said months ago… Maybe even years,” Janet interrupted, “I love you so so much. Your dad loves you too. He has his own way of showing it… But don’t ever doubt that we love you.” 

**

Janet stepped out of the shower, and Jack leaned forward in his chair, holding his head in his hands. “Janet…”

“What do you want me to say, Jack? Do you want me to lie to you? Say I didn’t mean it? Do you wanna pretend it doesn’t repulse you to sleep in the same bed with me?” Janet asked.

Jack sat up and pointed his finger at her. “Don’t you act like you weren’t acting like a twenty-year-old kid on spring break when we were in Liguria. Let’s go to the club, Jack. We were just dancing, Jack—.

“Jack, that was two years ago. I was right in front of you the entire time. I was drunk and nothing happened. You were looking right at me the entire time,” Janet whispered, “Is your ego really that fragile? You can’t handle the idea that I had fun dancing with a friend of mine—.” 

“Don’t do that. Don’t pretend like you want to fall in love with me again. You didn’t want to rekindle this marriage, you were afraid—.”

“Stop,” Janet’s voice broke as she whispered it. Tears welled up in her eyes. 

“You’re afraid of who you are without me,” Jack replied. 

Janet sucked in a breath and shook her head. “And you aren’t? Aren’t you scared? We’ve been in this for seventeen years! We have a son! Everything is going to change… Everything. If I thought for a second that this could work—. When were you gonna talk to Tim? I held him tonight. He cried in my arms over this. If I could fall madly in love with you again and you with me, if I could watch Tim grow up if I could make everything fit into place—. Do you even want to be a father, Jack? You haven’t once given any consideration to Tim’s feelings,” Janet replied as she walked past him. She grabbed her pillow. 

“Where are you going?” Jack asked. 

“Guest bedroom… After I tell Tim that we love him because I’m tired of fighting,” Janet muttered. Jack sighed, letting Janet leave the bedroom.

Janet ran into Tim in the hallway, and he rubbed his arm. “Mom,” Tim whispered. Janet smiled at him.

“It’s okay, sweetie. We’re not gonna argue anymore. I was just about to say goodnight,” Janet whispered as she held back tears. Tim forced a smile and nodded. “I’m done traveling, Tim… I mean it. We love you so much.” 

“Mom… What’s gonna happen?” Tim questioned. Janet sighed and shook her head. 

“I don’t know,” Janet replied, “I think we could finally leave Gotham once this year is over… And I didn’t forget what I promised you.” She tapped Tim’s nose. 

“Are you going by yourself?” Tim questioned. Janet smoothed Tim’s hair down and leaned forward to look him in the eye. 

“It’s gonna be fine. I promise I won’t yell at him,” Janet replied. 

Tim grabbed her arm. “No, that’s not what I—. Maybe we should talk about a few things before you go,” Tim suggested. Janet yawned and nodded. 

“Okay… Sure, let’s sit in the guest room and talk… Oh, and before I forget, we need to deep clean your room tomorrow after school. Tim, I love you sweetheart, but your room is just ridiculous. What’s going on in there?” Janet chuckled. Tim rubbed his neck. 

“I’ve been a little busy lately,” Tim whispered. Janet laughed and let Tim into the guest bedroom before she climbed into bed and turned the TV on. 

Tim sat beside her, watching the TV while Janet stared at him. “You were so alert as a baby… Always observing… And so quiet. No one could make you laugh except for your dad. He once told me that you made him feel special. I think we were all at our happiest back then,” Janet whispered, “I never wanted kids before I had you… And I don’t know… Something shifted when I was pregnant with you. All I could think about was what it would feel like to hold you in my arms. Your birth was probably the closest I’ve ever gotten to a spiritual experience. It was frightening and painful, and I wanted to die… And all of a sudden, you were there and in my arms, and I knew I’d never accomplish anything greater than you in my life.” Janet sighed. 

“I’m sorry—.”

“Don’t be. I’m so proud of you… But you’re so selfless and driven that it frightens me a little bit. So, I want you to tell me more about this Batman business,” Janet whispered. Tim took a deep breath and nodded before telling her everything from the very beginning.

Chapter 3: mothers and fathers

Chapter Text

The shift in weight on the mattress woke Janet out of her sleep, and she reached out in the dark until she felt a familiar arm. “Tim, you have to sleep in your own bed,” Janet whispered. 

“Are you and Dad really getting divorced?” Tim asked. 

“I don’t know… Maybe?” Janet replied. “Tim, what time is it?” 

“It’s two-oh-eight,” Tim answered. 

Janet groaned and tossed the blankets over Tim. “Tim, couldn’t this have waited until daylight?” Janet mumbled. 

“Can’t you do something?” Tim asked. 

“I did do something… I indulged him and his dreams. And we fell out of love,” Janet answered, “Tim, why must you insist on talking about this tonight?” 

“Because I need to know what we’re gonna do,” Tim whispered, his voice breaking under the immense pressure of their uncertainty. 

“That’s not for you to worry about. Go to sleep, and I’ll take you to school tomorrow. We’ll talk about this later. Don’t worry about any of this,” Janet whispered. 

“He’s gonna be alone,” Tim replied. 

“It was either him or you,” Janet answered. 

**

Janet’s alarm vibrated underneath her pillow, and she got up, took a shower, and got dressed without waking Tim. A second alarm went off, waking Tim, and Janet was already making breakfast at that time. It didn’t take him long to get dressed as he ran downstairs. Tim peeked around the corner and watched as Janet used a waffle iron. Her makeup was perfect, she wore a dress, and she was singing. Tim hadn’t seen her that full of life since he was little. It stunned him, leaving him frozen just outside the kitchen until she looked up and caught a glimpse of him. “Tim, sit down. I’m making waffles. Do you want juice, water, or milk?” Janet questioned. 

“Um, juice is okay… Mom, you didn’t have to make breakfast. I could've nuked a burrito or something,” Tim suggested. 

“No, it’s okay. I wanted to see if I’ve still got it,” Janet smiled as she started mixing a drink. “Do you still like Shirley Temples?” 

“Mom? Are you okay?” Tim asked. 

“I’m getting there, sweetie. I made your lunch, by the way. You know, I think this is kind of fun,” Janet answered as she poured his drink and made his plate. “Waffles, fruit salad, and one Shirley Temple for my favorite guy.” 

She sat across from him with her breakfast and water bottle. “Can I pick you up from school, or do you have plans?” Janet asked as she poured syrup over her waffles.  

“Um… No, I don’t have plans. Can we go to the comic book store after school?” Tim asked. 

“Ooh, absolutely. You know what? We should just make a whole thing of it. It’s Friday, so we should just go shopping later. Comic book store, ice cream, and maybe we could go bowling and catch a late movie,” Janet suggested. Tim swallowed hard. 

“Seriously?” Tim asked. “Do you think Dad’ll—?” Tim grew silent. 

“I can ask him when he wakes up. I’ll get a little bit of work done while you’re at school, and I’ll see if Dad’s free,” Janet answered. “I promise that I’ll ask him.” Her voice was soft, and she looked Tim in the eyes as she spoke. 

“Thanks, Mom. And thanks for breakfast. You still make the best waffles in the world,” Tim complimented. 

“Thank you,” Janet grinned. 

**

After she arrived home, Jack sat at the counter with the paper and a cup of coffee. “Hi, Janet,” Jack stated. “Where’ve you been?” 

“Dropping Tim off at school… We’re getting ice cream and going bowling after I pick him up, and he wanted to know if you wanted to come. I promised him I’d ask,” Janet replied. 

“Are you still mad?” Jack asked. 

“I’m not mad anymore… I was thinking we could talk while Tim’s at school,” Janet replied as she washed her hands and went into the fridge. 

“About?” Jack questioned. 

Janet set the mayonnaise and lettuce on the counter. “The divorce,” Janet answered before turning back toward the fridge to grab tomatoes and cheese. 

“So, you are still mad?” Jack asked. 

“No. If I was mad, I wouldn’t be making you a sandwich as a peace offering. Also, you still haven’t said whether or not you want to go with us this afternoon,” Janet replied cooly. “Do you want salami? I was feeling a little partial to pastrami, myself.” 

“Janet, you’re acting like this isn’t a big deal. You have to be reasonable—.” 

“I think I am being reasonable. I think we should split everything down the middle, and I will continue to run the business with you. But I will work remotely from home. This means you don’t have to sacrifice your travels, and I don’t have to sacrifice time with Tim. I’m not going to hassle you about custody because you love him, and I think you should see him as often as you can. I—.” 

“Do I get a say in this?” Jack interrupted. 

“You did have a say in this… last night. I don’t wanna fight anymore, Jack. Can’t we just move on?” Janet asked as she started slathering mayonnaise on her bread. “The offer still stands if you want a sandwich.” 

“I don’t want a sandwich, Janet,” Jack muttered. 

“Okay… Well, do you want to go out with us tonight?” Janet asked. 

“Janet, I don’t—.” 

“Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be,” Janet interrupted. She touched his hand. 

“I have business in the city,” Jack replied before standing and rushing out of the kitchen. 

**

Janet came in late with Tim, laughing and talking about the movie. Jack perked up to the noise and the smell of takeout. “Jack, we brought you a chicken cheesesteak and fries. Did you get to finish up with your business in the city?” Janet asked. Jack nodded. Janet lifted her eyes to ask him a question without words. 

“I did. Thanks. Did you two have fun?” Jack asked. Tim gave Jack his bag of food, and he sat on the floor near the coffee table. 

“Mom bowled a perfect game,” Tim replied as he kicked off his shoes. 

“I told you I was great at bowling,” Janet laughed, “But I think I wanna see what that laser tag stuff is all about. Jack, what do you think? Are you up for laser tag maybe tomorrow afternoon?” 

Jack nodded. “Sounds alright,” Jack replied. 

Janet sat on the floor between Jack and Tim and started eating. “What are you watching, Jack?” Janet asked. 

“Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” Jack answered. “I was about to make some popcorn, but I think this is much better. You two came home just in time.” 

“This one is my favorite,” Janet smiled as she picked through her fries and dipped them in her milkshake. “Have you ever seen it, Tim?” 

Tim shook his head as he finished chewing. Jack looked over at Tim, and he poured himself a drink. Janet looked at Jack, squinting at his silent gesture. “It’s good, Tim. I finally got the chance to see your mother’s favorite movie. Telling—.” 

Janet’s lips tightened into a scowl, and Jack smiled, lifting his glass up as if he were making a toast to her. “Jack, that’s not what this is about… Don’t do this. It’s not fair. You have to stop,” Janet whispered through her teeth. She wasn’t angry anymore. The way her eyes widened and softened, eyebrows pushed together, wrinkling her pristine forehead, and her bottom lip sucked close to the gums as they spelled out fear. Tim glanced at Janet, reaching for her and quickly withdrawing once he felt the temperature change in the room. 

“Dad?” Tim whispered. 

“I can see why this is your mom’s favorite. That’s all,” Jack replied. Janet stood up and took the tape out of the VCR. “Oh, come on, hon’. Don’t you want to watch your favorite movie?”  

“Why does this have to be so difficult?” Janet asked. “Don’t keep throwing it in my face. If you want to hurt me so bad, tell Tim. Go ahead. That’s what you’re playing at. Hurt me by telling me. Hurt me like you want to.” She set the movie down on the TV console and approached Jack, grabbing his face in her hand before forcefully turning his face away. “Tell him what you think.” 

Jack’s jaw tightened. “You don’t get to come out of this one clean, Janet. I see you clearly now,” Jack replied. 

“You insist on humiliating me. I’m going to let you do it,” Janet replied. Tim got up and left the room. “Do you see what you’re doing.I wasn’t going to ask him to choose… You’re making him choose… And you’re losing, Jack.” 

“Why don’t you tell him the truth?” Jack questioned. 

“I’m not divorcing you because I want someone else. I want a divorce because I don’t want to hate you. I want to let you go while I still care for you. I loved you once, and Tim is the evidence of that. I just want to protect the one thing we have left,” Janet explained, “but you don’t hear me. You don’t listen. You see this all one way, and it isn’t that way. I never betrayed you. We fell out of love. Both of us. 

“You want to travel and live out your passion. My hopes and dreams just walked out of the room, and I don’t want to lose him while we’ve still got him. Jack, I’m making this sacrifice for both of us. You don’t want to lose Tim either.” 

“What is all this about losing him? Is he in trouble?” Jack questioned. 

“No, and I’m dead set on keeping things that way. A child needs parents. Not nannies, not maids, not—. Not anyone but their parents. He deserves to have a present parent. It’ll be alright if I stay behind and care for him, but I can’t give him all of me if I’m working to revive our dead marriage, Jack,” Janet cried. 

Jack sighed. “But tell me the truth. You have inclinations—.” 

“You want me to come out to you? Fine. Yes. I do. I knew when I was dating you. I knew it when I married you, but I was willing to commit to you because you were what I wanted. I honored that commitment, Jack. I never did anything to betray you while we were together. It is not the reason why I want to part ways with you. 

“And I need you to let me tell Tim when I’m ready. Stop playing these games because the only person you’ll end up hurting is Tim,” Janet warned him.

Chapter 4: confession

Chapter Text

Jack dropped Tim off at school on Monday morning while Janet took a day trip over to Wayne Manor with a collection of Tim’s pictures. She knocked and rang the doorbell before Alfred answered. “Good morning,” Alfred greeted her, and before he could speak again, she took his hands in hers.

“Is Bruce Wayne here? I’m Tim Drake’s mother, and I wanted to talk something over with him. Is that alright?” Janet asked. 

Alfred invited her in and asked her to wait in the living room. Bruce rushed down the steps a few minutes later. “Mrs. Drake, hi. Sorry for keeping you waiting. I’m not much of a morning person,” Bruce laughed. Janet stood up and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you. I understand that you wanted to speak to me about something.” 

“Nice to meet you, too… And yeah, I wanted to—. I talked to Tim about these, and I wanted you to know I have no intention of telling anyone what we know. I haven’t mentioned it to my husband because I think it’d be counterintuitive,” Janet whispered as she gave him the pictures. Bruce’s smile faded, and he sat on the couch beside her. The façade of playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne quickly melted away, leaving the cold and closed-off grieving father in its place. “I’m not one to beat around the bush. I don’t think you are either.”

Bruce looked over the photographs and glanced up into her eyes. “It was never my intention to put your son in harm’s way—.”

“Tim is stubborn. He isn’t going to stop until he gets his way. If you don’t start taking care of yourself, you’re going to get killed… And if you get killed, my son will blame himself. If he blames himself, he may try to take your place and that will get him killed… And I can’t have that. Tim is the only child I have. If I have to babysit you to keep my son alive, I will,” Janet interrupted. Bruce nodded. 

“I understand… I lost my son a little while back. I don’t want Tim involved with this, and I—.” 

Janet gasped. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry, I—. I’m not in the States often. I didn’t know,” Janet whispered, “The little one?” 

“He was fifteen. He’d be sixteen now,” Bruce replied.

“You miss your son… I understand that you have more than one son, though,” Janet replied as she reached for his hand and hesitated as if silently asking for permission to comfort him. Bruce took her hand and tried to smile. “You can’t let your grief kill you… You have another child you have to live for.” 

Bruce mulled over her words, trying to remember the last time Dick truly needed him, and he realized he wasn’t there. He missed Jason so much that he’d become absent in Dick’s life. “I—. I wasn’t there. Jason was brutally beaten and blown up, and I wasn’t there for him. I was too late. Every time I put on that costume, it is a reminder that I failed him. I got him killed, and I can never fix that. I became Batman because of what happened to my parents. I took Dick into my care because we shared the same grief… The same rage. And after Dick left, I was all alone again. 

“I’d gotten so used to the idea of being alone, and Jason came along… And he was so bright and full of life. I loved him so much. I thought it’d be the two of us forever. Whenever I felt like I was slipping, he was right there. 

“With Dick, I was so young we felt more like partners in our work. I love him as much as I love Jason, but our relationship was much different. Jason made me feel like a father. Jason matured me… I tried to rectify all the mistakes I made raising Dick. I tried to be patient. I wanted to be warmer, but I drew back when I felt like I’d failed him. 

“I failed him often, and he held onto me until he felt he couldn’t anymore… That’s when I lost him. He ran… And he searched for the only parent that hadn’t let him down yet… The mother he never knew… And she was the reason for his death. He trusted her. He loved her. He protected her, and she let him get murdered.

“And I’m just as guilty as she is.”

Janet carefully listened to Bruce’s explanation with tears in her eyes. Bruce didn’t fully elaborate on the matter, he left things there before letting silence rest between them. “We have our sons to think about. You have to think of Dick, and I have to think of Tim. We’ve both been left with one son each, and I think we have to be much more attentive from here on out if we want to keep our boys alive,” Janet answered. Bruce hid his face in his hands. 

“He takes after you… Doesn’t he?” Bruce asked. 

“You’d know better than me. You’ve spent more time with him than I have—.” 

“No. He’s spent more time with me. I haven’t had much of a chance to get to know him. I’ve been avoiding it because he makes sense to me. I didn’t want him making sense of my failings,” Bruce interrupted. 

“Kids have a way of doing that… And—. I need you to give him back to me by showing him that you don’t need a new sidekick. You just needed a wakeup call. No more dead kids, Bruce,” Janet whispered as she squeezed his hand. “No more. Let’s protect them. Can we make that promise to one another now that we share a secret?” 

“I’ll do my best to honor it,” Bruce replied. “And I have to say you can be quite persuasive when you want to be, Mrs. Drake.” 

“Thank you. In this case, everything that ever mattered to me depended on it,” Janet answered. 

**

She picked Tim up from school and drove around the city for a while, struggling to say everything she needed to all at once before Tim spoke. “Mom, what didn’t you want Dad to tell me the other night?” Tim questioned. 

“Tim, honey… I don’t want you to think that I don’t wanna be with your dad because there’s someone else. There’s no one else. I just think it’s time to stop pretending that we’re in this relationship for love still,” Janet explained. “And I’m trying very hard to make your father understand that… But I have to take accountability for a secret I’ve kept since before I was with him. I didn’t say anything because I thought it would never have to be a problem. When I got with him, I chose him. I loved him. I didn’t think I’d ever have to tell anyone that I like women as well, but he’s made it apparent that he knows and takes issue with—.” 

“It’s not the stone ages, Mom. I wouldn’t see you differently,” Tim interrupted. “I thought he was saying something different. I didn’t really—. I thought you did something awful, but I wanted you to tell me if you did. It’s a relief that you didn’t, and I’m glad you decided to tell me what that was about. It doesn’t change anything for me.”

Janet pulled the car over and turned to look out the window as tears streamed down her cheeks. She reached over to take Tim’s hand, and he squeezed hers. “I love you more than anything— more than everything in this whole world. Thank you for loving me back, sweetheart,” Janet whispered through her tears. 

“You’re my mom,” Tim replied. “I’ll always love you no matter what.”

She unbuckled her seatbelt and threw her arms around his neck. “And I’ll always love you no matter what… Also, I talked to Bruce Wayne, and we agreed that you should live a normal life. I think he’s a little dazed by the loss of his son, and he’s gonna need time to recover from that. 

“All he needed was another parent to talk to. I don’t know if he’ll be okay after something like that, but the last thing he needs is you running around filling the shoes of the son he lost,” Janet warmly replied. 

“Was he mad?” Tim asked. Janet pulled away and wiped her face. 

“No. He was sweet. I think he needed to have a chat with an adult to snap him out of it… All I could think of when I saw those pictures you took was losing you. I felt like anything could’ve happened, and we weren’t there. It’s my job to protect you,” Janet answered. “And he’s still got a son to worry about. He doesn’t need another sidekick. He needs to grieve the loss of his son. That’s all, sweetie. Your heart was in the right place. I know it was, but you’re just a baby. You’re my only baby.” 

“Mom, I—. You really talked to him… I—. You did that for me because you care,” Tim whispered to himself as he realized how grand her gesture was. “I thought I was just an inconvenience—.” 

“The only thing inconvenient in my life is the time that I’ve spent away from you,” Janet interrupted as she held his face in her palms. “You are everything… And I’d do anything to prove that to you. Are you gonna talk to your father?” 

“About the other night? Or in general?” Tim questioned. “I don’t know. He seems angry about everything… I’m kind of—. I don’t know how to talk to him.” 

“You should talk to him about how you feel about him. I think he feels a little like he’s losing you, and he doesn’t know what to do about it,” Janet explained. 

“Should I tell him about Batman?” Tim asked. 

“Absolutely not,” Janet replied.