Archive of Our Own ^beta

“I know
You’ll be tested
I’ll grow
Your investment
I shine when my back’s against the wall
I don’t need anything at all
I don’t need anything at all
Drive me somewhere you’ve been liking
Order something I don’t want, I’ll drink it anyway
Go take a little time
It’s funny how you’re fine when I’m away
It’s natural to see
The bottom line with me
The bottom line I’ll be”
-Dom Fera, Bottom Line 

It’s been weeks.

Weeks.

Six of them, to be exact.

And the guy ... well, he’s always the first to arrive and he selects the same booth on every visit — the good one tucked away in the back corner of the bar. Nice and secluded. Would be romantic, even, if this was the type of place for romance. 

But it’s not.

And it’s been six weeks.

The guy comes in at least once a week — sometimes twice — and he only sometimes leaves with whichever random dude he meets up with while he’s there.

To say Eddie is fascinated would be a colossal understatement.

And to be clear, it’s not an unusual occurrence — people meet up at the bar all the time and move on with their lives or hookups or whatever they get up to once the glasses are drained and the coasters are waterlogged after too many minutes spent absorbing condensation from whichever cocktails have been thrown back. 

But this guy is different from their usual clientele. And he’s a repeat offender. Becoming a regular, as it were.

And Eddie cannot look away. 

As gay bars go, The Bottom Line is pretty typical. Not quite a dive, not quite a club, but something in-between with just enough music and atmosphere to provide a bit of cover from a stereotypical hit-‘n-quit hookup joint. In other words, if someone wanted to have an actual date here, they’d be just fine. Likewise if they’re just looking for a quick and dirty fuck in the men’s room. Not that they encourage that sort of thing here — that sort of public indecency would be a crime, after all — but the staff is very good about their propensity for selective vision loss. And hearing loss. 

They aim to please at The Bottom Line, is the point.

“You just gonna stare at that boy every time he comes in, or are you ever plannin’ to actually speak to him?” Eddie hears the warm, teasing baritone of his Uncle Wayne as he nudges him from the side. 

Eddie startles, grabbing a rag to furiously wipe down the bar. “Whatever, old man. I speak to him plenty. Who do you think made that martini he’s nursing over there?”

“Sure, kid. Sure. Whatever you say,” Wayne says with a wink. “He seems like a nice enough fella though, Ed. And he’s clearly single and meeting dates in a gay bar, so I don’t think you’ll have to wonder whether or not he’s playing for our team. Just go talk to him for Christ’s sake.”

“He’s clearly waiting on a date, Wayne. He’s in here all the time, meeting up with different people each night. I’m not that desperate. I’m not that guy.”

“Hm. Okay, if you say so. Sure is a pretty one though, huh?”

“Well — yeah. I mean, of course he is. But the guys I see him meeting in here lately? Let’s just say he seems to have a type. And this —” he says as he waves his hands up and down his torso “— does not exactly fit into this dude’s preferred aesthetic.” 

“You can’t know that,” Wayne says with a roll of his eyes as he steps forward to take care of a patron at the bar as Eddie continues to stare in the direction of the back booth. “Why don’t you go see if he needs a refill or somethin’?”

“Oh? So we’re a table-side service joint now?” Eddie says with a smirk as he watches Wayne mixing drinks. “Should have told me about the format change, seeing as we’re partners in this thing, old man.”

“We’re table-side service when you need to get your head outta your ass and go talk to the pretty — and obviously single — customer. So either get your scrawny ass outta my way and quit pinin’ so I can work, or go take a dinner break. We’re gonna get busy around here shortly.”

When Eddie returns from his dinner break, he can’t resist stealing a glance in the direction of the back booth. The guy is still by himself, his martini glass now drained. Eddie can’t help but feel a pang of loneliness as he takes in the sight of the solitary figure.

“I can’t believe he’s still alone over there,” he says to Wayne as he makes his way behind the bar. “That’s pretty unusual. Think he’s been stood up?”

Wayne laughs softly as he pours a fresh martini and a bourbon on the rocks. He cocks an eyebrow as he hands both glasses to Eddie with a nudge. “I’m sure I don’t know. But he has not had anybody join him since you left for your break, if that’s what you’re curious about. Now take these over to the man and ask him yourself, Ed.”

“What? He ordered these?”

“No. No, he did not. Now take these two drinks and bring them over to that fucking booth, boy. Whichever one he doesn’t take is for you. You have the night off. Effective right now. I’ve been watching you stare at that man for the past six weeks and I don’t know how much more of this I can stand, Ed. So do us all a favor and go talk to the man before you drive me insane with your pining and wistful glances.”

“Wayne, come on…”

“Don’t sass me, boy. I’m not asking, I’m telling. Now, go. You never take a night off, and you can’t stop staring at the man. So do as you’re told, dummy. Jonathan just came in, so we’re covered here.”

Eddie grins as he accepts the drinks. “Thanks, Wayne,” he says with a nod as he turns to make his way across the bar to the back booth where the beautiful boy with the chestnut hair and hazel eyes sits all alone, tracing his fingernail along the wood grain pattern of the tabletop.

“Hey,” Eddie says as he approaches the table, a shy smile on his face. “Rough night?”

The man glances up at Eddie, surprised at first by the interruption. He smiles, the warmth of his expression softening as the subtle laugh lines around his eyes carry the sentiment, and Eddie has to catch his breath. The man chuckles softly, ducking his head to return his attention to what must be simply fascinating patterns in the wood grain of the tabletop. 

“It’s that obvious, huh?”

“Well,” Eddie begins, a smirk erupting on his face, “Let’s just say I’ve seen this story play out a few times here and there,” he says with a shrug. 

“Are those for me?” The man says as he gestures to the two glasses in Eddie’s hands, a look of hope creeping into his expression, making his hazel eyes sparkle.

“Sure are. Wayne thought you might be due for a refill. So I have another martini if you want one, or if the bourbon is more your speed at this point I’ve got you covered there as well,” Eddie says with a wink.

“Wow. Well, that’s incredibly kind. I’ll take the martini, I guess. It’s not quite bourbon-o’clock just yet. But — care to join me, or do you need to get back to the bar?”

Eddie beams as he slides into the booth, taking the bench opposite the apparently-stood-up customer. He slides the martini glass across the tabletop and extends his hand in greeting. “Nope, I have been summarily dismissed for the evening. So, I am free as a bird, as it happens. I’m Eddie, by the way.”

“Steve,” the pretty man says with a smile as he accepts the drink and shakes Eddie’s hand, his grip warm and firm as his massive paw almost fully engulfs Eddie’s own hand. “Thanks for this, really. Been a shitty way to spend the evening — and to think I actually had high hopes for tonight, too. So, thanks. I appreciate it.”

“Well, you know what they say about bartenders, Steve. Trust me, we’ve heard it all. Especially around here. Expert listener over here, and since I’m officially off duty for the night, I have all the time in the world. So, if you need to vent, I’m your man.”

“Where do I start?” Steve says with a chuckle as he sips his drink. “You know, I never thought I’d be in this spot at this stage of my life. Dating really fucking sucks,” he says as he toys with the sodden edge of the coaster. “Actually, that’s not fair. Dating can be fun. It’s the dating apps that suck.”

“Oof. Yeah, I have to agree with you on that one,” Eddie says, laughing. “The odds of finding your person aren’t terribly high on the apps. But — and I’m not trying to be a dick here — I’ve seen you in here a LOT lately, Steve. You some kind of serial first-dater or something? Or are they all just really that bad?”

Steve splutters, laughing into his martini. “Damn, dude! Kick a man while he’s down, why don’tcha?”

“No! Damn, that sounded way better in my head. Shutting up now,” Eddie says, his cheeks reddening as he drums his fingertips on the tabletop.

The pair fall into easy conversation, sharing the more mundane details of their lives as they enjoy their drinks. Eddie learns that Steve is settling into a new role as an undergrad History professor at the local college, and he’s also newly single, his most recent relationship having collapsed under the weight of his relocation and new professional responsibilities. The more they talk, the fact that Steve is an educator comes as no great surprise — the man seems like he has no problems engaging a group. 

Though he’s one of the youngest and most eligible faculty members on campus, Steve confesses that he’s had difficulty meeting people in his new city. With the move into his new home, finding his bearings in his new job, and just the sheer exhaustion which so often accompanies monumental life changes, he’s been stretched too thin to branch out much. So, he resorted to ill-fated coffee shop dates and social gatherings with his colleagues. All have been a bust. In fact, it was after a truly abhorrent recent coffee date that he happened to stumble across the bright neon sign for The Bottom Line and decided to venture inside. 

“I felt an instant connection with this place,” he tells Eddie, his eyes sparkling. “I mean, I’ve been in plenty of bars and gay-friendly spaces, but what you’ve built here really feels special. It’s welcoming. Just a great atmosphere. So, hats off to you and your partner for that.”

Eddie splutters, nearly choking on his bourbon. “What? Partner? That’s my Uncle Wayne, man! Don’t get me wrong, he would definitely be a catch and all. But … ew. NO.” 

Steve laughs loudly, his eyes watering. “Sorry, sorry! I guess I shouldn’t have assumed,” he says as he wipes his eyes. “So what I’m hearing is that he’s single then, your Uncle?” He asks with a wink as he cranes his neck to look beyond Eddie’s shoulder in search of Wayne.

“I’m not sure I like the idea of you objectifying my dear sweet Uncle in this very slutty way, Steven. He’s more of a monogamist anyway. And you have all the trappings of a modern-day jezebel, if the number of times I’ve seen you meeting up with new people around here is any indication. Hell, I’ll have to double check my condom orders so we keep everything well-stocked — for you alone — at the rate you’re going. Might even need to put out a few extra fishbowls full, strategically placed around the bar. Actually, as often as you're in here, it might be smarter for me to just set one on the table here for you, now that I think of it,” Eddie says with a wink and a smile as he swirls his bourbon in the glass.

“Aw, come on. That’s not funny, man,” Steve says, his expression clouding with … anger? Sorrow?

Eddie has a brief moment of panic, his heart rate quickening as he senses he’s overstepped. “Shit! Hey man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by that, really. I thought we were just cutting up a bit — honestly, I was just joking.”

“Nah. I’m just fuckin with ya,” Steve says with a broad smile and a wave of his hand. “I mean, you’re kind of not wrong. I can admit it — I’ve been on way too many first dates lately even for my liking. But don’t worry — Uncle Wayne’s virtue is safe with me. I promise,” he says with a wink as he drains his martini glass. “But it has been rough, I won’t lie. I feel like I’m finally settling into a routine, you know? Finally feels like everything is settling down at work — so I felt like maybe it was time to think about getting back out there, and instead of just doing things the usual way I had the brilliant idea to try dating apps. And I’ve been seriously questioning my sanity in making that decision.”

“Damn, Stevie. You had me going there. I seriously thought I had crossed a line!” Eddie says with a nervous laugh.

“Nah, man. I don’t offend that easily, trust me. Just giving you a little bit of the business,” Steve says, his eyes shining with amusement.

“Dick,” Eddie replies with a chuckle. “I hear ya loud and clear about the perils of online dating though. Hell, I could write a book with some of the crazy shit I’ve seen in here. But I have to say, Steve — and I’m in no way shape or form just blowing smoke when I say this — I can’t imagine you’d have a hard time just meeting someone organically. I mean, come on. Do you not own a mirror? You’re a fucking smoke show, man. Plus you’re easy to talk to. Dare I say … charming, even.”

Steve blushes under the praise, his cheeks turning a delightful shade of pink. “Thanks, Eddie. Really. That’s really kind of you to say, but I’m nothing special. I’m just a guy. I guess I kind of hoped that using modern technology would help with that whole ‘breaking the ice’ type shit, you know? Like … match with someone, strike up a conversation over text, get some of that ‘getting to know you’ shit out of the way so there’s no awkward in-person silences in a bar or a restaurant when you realize that the person seated across from you is a total dickbag. I know it sounds stupid, but that’s kind of what I was hoping for when I decided to create my Tinder and Grindr profiles anyway,” he says with a shrug.

“Daaaaaamn … Tinder AND Grindr? You really are a glutton for punishment!”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Steve says with a laugh. “Though I have met a few decent guys. Just nobody I would want to like — DATE date, you know what I mean? And some of the messages some of these guys send? Holy shit. Just astounding.”

“Oh, I can imagine. Especially on Grindr. And I’m sure you were bombarded with DMs as soon as you posted your profile.”

Steve smirks, lowering his head as he sips his drink. “Yeah. Grindr has been more entertaining in that regard for sure. And hey — don’t get me wrong — I get it. I know that a lot of the guys on Grindr are just looking for hookups or whatever. And I’m not opposed, necessarily. But seriously, man. Some of this shit is insane. Here — look at some of these DMs!”

Steve swipes to wake his phone and navigates to his photos, smirking as he finds the image he’s looking for. “There were so many messages. Just … so many. I took screenshots of some of the more amusing or ridiculous ones. Just … take a look. Swipe through,” he says as he hands over his phone and leans back in his seat, his arm draped over the back of the booth.

As Eddie begins to scroll through the images, Wayne approaches with a fresh round of drinks and two glasses of ice water. He places them on the table with a broad grin as he pats Eddie on the shoulder. 

“Have fun, boys,” Wayne says, his tone warm and friendly. “Don’t let my nephew here scare you off, Mister. He’s just a harmless little kitten pretending to be a hellcat.”

“WAYNE!” Eddie gasps as he glares daggers at the man, “Don’t lie to my new friend Steve here. I am very scary and very dangerous. Just ask anyone!”

“Yep. Sure are,” Wayne says with a smirk. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Steve. And as for you,” he says as he squeezes Eddie’s shoulder, “Just behave yourself, ya hear?”

Steve chuckles as he extends his hand in greeting, “Thank you for the fresh drinks. And I’ll be very careful around your clearly very dangerous nephew.”

“Good man,” Wayne says with a wink as he shakes Steve’s hand. “You boys enjoy now. Give me a wave if you need a refresher.”

Eddie rolls his eyes as Wayne gives him a final nudge before retreating back behind the bar. “Yeah yeah yeah. Don’t you have other people to terrorize, old man?”

He turns his attention back to Steve and the conversation at hand. He smiles fondly at the man across from him as he takes a sip from his water glass and returns to the photos on Steve’s phone, his eyes widening at the first image he sees.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie says, laughing. ChodeGuzzler had a hell of an opening line, didn’t he?”

“Right?? I mean, I thought the Antman thing was kind of funny — that’s why I replied in the first place. But his response? I don’t really need to hear about it if you’re ‘poopin,’ Mr. ChodeGuzzler,” Steve replies, laughing. “The thing is, that’s not even close to being one of the weirdest things I’ve received. Hell, I’ve been told to go fuck myself almost more than I’ve been hit on.”

“Seriously? Why?”

“Shit, hell if I know,” Steve says with a shrug, “I guess maybe I took too long to respond? No idea.”

Eddie smiles and takes a sip of his bourbon before returning to the images. 

“Wow, you weren’t kidding, huh. Ol’ BearLover69 and COKLUVR42069 … they’re not so much with the waiting, are they?”

“I know right? I ended up turning off ‘read’ and ‘delivered’ indicators after I kept getting stuff like this. It’s fucking weird, man!”

“Not so big on spelling either,” Eddie says through laughter. “What is it about texting and DMs that just makes people type whatever random characters in a message and just send without even giving it a look? Too funny.”

“Yeah — well, if you like those, wait ’til you see the next one. It’s just spectacular.”

Eddie cackles as he views the image on the screen. “LobotomyBrainDead, huh? Damn, Stevie, he DOES say he can suck a bowling ball through a garden hose. You sure you don’t want to give him a call?” He asks as he hands the phone back to Steve, wiping tears from his eyes.

“You’re missing the fact that he said FIFTY FEET of garden hose, and he also sent me a video, Eddie,” Steve says, his eyes narrowed. 

“Wait, hang on. I did miss that,” Eddie says, reaching for the phone with grabby hands. “Hold up — this was a first text? First shot across the bow and he sends a video? Did you save it? I wanna see!”

Steve laughs, but pulls the phone back. “Yup,” he says, popping the ‘p.’ “First ever interaction. And no I did NOT save the video. It was creepy as hell. Just some sleazy looking dude deepthroating a banana. FULL eye contact to the camera, too. Very graphic — very loud. Lots of moaning.”

“And you’re saying you DIDN’T meet up with him? Sounds like a huge missed opportunity to me, Steve-O.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Steve says, his tone light. “Laugh it up. I’m in hell over here and you’re laughing at my pain. Seems kind of rude, if I’m being honest.”

“Sorry — sorry!” Eddie says through laughter, his hands raised in surrender. “I get it though, why you’d be bummed out. But don’t lose hope, man. I mean, sure, there are a lot of guys on Grindr who are just looking for hookups. But I dunno, Steve. I see my fair share of obvious first dates around here that originate there too.”

“Exactly! That’s what I was thinking when I made my profile. I mean, sure, I could just use it for hookups too. A man does have needs and all. But if all I wanted to do was get laid — like you said, I could just pick someone up in a bar or something. But I really kind of need to meet someone I can stand to be around for longer than a quick lay. I dunno. It’s dumb.”

Eddie cocks an eyebrow, leveling Steve with a sympathetic look. “It’s not dumb, man. I get it. Meeting people is hard. But … like I said, I’ve seen you here a lot lately. Why the sense of urgency?”

“I told you — it’s stupid.”

“Oh, come on. Spill it,” Eddie says with a wink as he nudges Steve’s foot under the table. “How bad could it be?”

Steve sighs, looking at Eddie through lowered lashes as he sips his martini. “I have a wedding I need to go to in three months. My cousin, back home in Indiana. So I’ve been hoping I would meet someone I could at least stand to be around long enough to bring along. I told you, it’s dumb.”

Eddie grins, his smile lighting his face. “That’s not dumb at all, Stevie,” he says in his patented soothing barkeep voice as he sips his water, “Let me guess — an old flame is going to be in attendance?”

Steve nods, his smile shy and reserved. “Yeah. The bride.”

Eddie chokes, spewing water across the table. “Shit! Shit, I’m so sorry!” He continues to choke as he scrambles to sop up the mess with the small stack of napkins on the table. “Wait. Hang on. You do realize this is a gay bar, yes? And you’re on Grindr?”

Steve laughs softly to himself as he watches Eddie flounder. “Don’t hurt yourself there, Ed. To answer your question, yes I do realize this is a gay bar. It’s the main reason I continue to come in.”

“So … you’re bisexual then?”

Steve nods, sipping his water with a wink. “Got it in one.”

“And the bride …? Your ex?”

“Yeah. From many years ago. She wasn’t too thrilled about me being into dudes, as it turned out. Said it was a phase, that I would eventually come crawling back to her and beg her to get married, and we’d end up together with six kids and a white picket fence. You know, typical heteronormative nonsense. She swore I just needed to get it out of my system and I would realize I was just ‘confused.’ So, as I’m sure you can guess, it didn’t exactly work out. I’ve pretty much dated guys exclusively since we split up. That was almost ten years ago. Turns out it wasn’t a phase.”

“Yeah, that would do it. I’ve always been GAY gay — never had a date with a woman in my life — but if I was bisexual that might sway me away from the ladies too.”

“I mean, I still like girls — still find women attractive and all, don’t get me wrong. But yeah — it’s been strictly men for the past decade or so for me.”

“Wait — hang on … she’s marrying your cousin?”

“Yeah, exactly. It’s a super small town, so I get it. And I’m happy for them, I truly am. We’re obviously better off as friends. Acquaintances. Whatever,” he says with a wave of his hand, “and I love my cousin, so I want them to be happy. But I just REALLY want to show up there with a date, you know?”

Eddie nods as he reaches across the table and covers the top of Steve’s hand with his own. “I get it, man. For real. So … let’s get you a wedding date!”

They text now.

It’s been a solid month and a half since their first evening spent at the bar together looking at cringey Grindr messages, and texting has definitely become a thing for them. Eddie jumps just a little bit every time he hears that text tone, and rarely does a day go by that one of them doesn’t send a morning greeting or a joke or meme to the other. 

Today, it’s another screenshot of a crazy Grindr message that gets them going. This one is actually a little bit funny, if he’s being honest. Not that the others he’s seen haven’t been hilarious in their own way, but this one is pretty good.

He chuckles to himself as he types up a response. Unsurprisingly, Steve fires back almost immediately.

Eddie holds his breath as he waits for Steve’s reply. So what if he looks forward to seeing his friend? Because they’re friends now. And friends like to see one another, it is not a big deal.

At all.

He’s being SUPPORTIVE. 

Of his FRIEND.

He smiles in spite of himself when he sees the three little bubbles appear to signify Steve is typing. 

He stifles the wave of disappointment he feels as he sees that Steve has yet another date. It’s all he can do to add a thumbs-up reaction, though he really wants to ask about the guy. The date. But he doesn’t. If Steve wants to tell him about Mr. Casanova, he will.

He doesn’t have long to wait.

Eddie feels the blood drain from his face when he reads Steve’s latest text. 

What the hell?

Fucking … GoochConnoisseur? What the fuck? 

And he sent him a fucking PICTURE? 

Eddie’s hands are shaking as he types out his reply. 

No way. He has to be fucking with him.

He chews on his nails as he waits for Steve to respond, groaning as the next text comes through.

Jesus Fucking Christ. 

Eddie frantically types his reply, and Steve responds immediately.

Jesus Christ!

He has to be joking, right? He cannot possibly be seriously sending pictures of his fucking GOOCH to randos on Grindr.

Right?!?!?!?

Fucking ASSHOLE! 

But Eddie can’t help but laugh. It’s funny. In Steve’s own I’m a complete dickbag sort of way, sure. But funny all the same.

Eddie grins as he pockets his phone. He can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at the idea of Steve continually putting himself out there for these random douchebags from Tinder and Grindr. 

Not that Steve has ever given any indication that he might be interested in Eddie, but still. 

He wishes it was him instead.

So — Eddie is … conflicted. 

Sometimes.

When he’s not being a good friend.

He knows that he promised to help Steve find a date for his cousin’s wedding, and dammit he IS trying, okay? 

Sort of. 

Anyhow, he’s not NOT trying. 

The fact is, he’s grown immeasurably fond of the snarky college professor, okay? And yeah, sue him — he’s managed to develop a bit of a crush over the past couple of months. And time is running out for Steve to find a wedding date. By Eddie’s calculations, there’s just a few weeks left before Steve leaves for the big event.

So he needs to be supportive, is the thing.

He knows Steve is up against this absurd self-imposed deadline and all, but playing the part of the dutiful friend and just standing by watching as the object of his ill-placed affection is subjecting himself to what has become an almost laughable number of hideous dates is … well, it’s shitty, is what it is. 

And it’s becoming more than just a tiny bit too similar to those awful 1980s rom-com plotlines.

It’s embarrassing.

“Ed? Did you hear me?”

“Huh? What’s that? Sorry, Wayne.”

Wayne smirks as he wipes the bar top with a towel. “I asked if you sent the beer order already. But, I guess you were texting with your boy again? Didn’t hear me?”

“Ugh. He’s not ‘my boy,’ Wayne. We’re friends. That’s all. But to answer your question, yes. I did send the beer order.”

“Uh huh,” Wayne says with a knowing glance as he rests the towel on his shoulder and leans against the bar, his arms folded across his chest. “So that wasn’t Steve you were texting?”

“I didn’t say that, old man.”

“So is he coming by later, your boy?”

“Dammit Wayne,” Eddie says, laughing. “He is not my boy. He’s just my friend. And he’s meeting another date, so … yeah.”

“I see,” Wayne says, a wry smile crossing his face. “Not for lack of wanting on your part though, is that fair to say?”

“Jesus! You’re insufferable,” Eddie says, chuckling. “It doesn’t matter — he meets like two or three guys a week in here, Wayne. Clearly he isn’t interested, okay?”

“Kid,” Wayne says as he steps closer and places a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, “I love you more than anyone on this spinning rock, you know that. But you are so willfully blind sometimes it makes my brain itch. When was the last time you saw Steve actually leave with any of these guys he has drinks with, hm? Can you recall one? ’Cause I can’t. He comes in, sits at that booth, has a drink or two with whoever comes by to meet him, and then he’s either over here spending the rest of the evening with you, or you’re over at the booth chatting him up. Doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to figure out that something is happening between you two.”

Eddie pauses for a moment as Wayne’s words sink in. He hasn’t really thought about it, but Wayne does have a point. Steve hasn’t actually left with any of his dates in a while. Not since that first night they had drinks together, actually. 

But still. 

Wayne is wrong. Has to be.

“Nah. You’re seeing things, old man. When was the last time you had an eye exam?”

“Boy, if you don’t talk to that man and tell him how you feel … well … you’re not so old that I won’t take you over my knee you know.”

“Oooh — kinky! But I’ll pass.”

“Smartass,” Wayne says, swatting Eddie on the ass with his bar towel. “Don’t try me, boy. I know what I’m talking about.”

Eddie waves him off as he moves on to finish prepping for the bar to open. He tries to sink into the litany of tasks on his list, but Wayne’s words keep creeping in. 

Could the old man be right about this?

Nope. 

No way. 

He finishes up the prep work and excuses himself to the back office so he can collect his thoughts before their customers start coming in. As he twirls in the plush office chair at the desk he shares with Wayne, he replays the many conversations and text exchanges he’s had with Steve over the past couple of months. 

Maybe Wayne does have a point.

But, if he’s wrong, and Steve is only interested in being friends — well, that could be disastrous. Because he genuinely does like the guy, the whole wanting-to-get-in-his-pants thing notwithstanding.

“Fucking hell, Munson. Get a grip!” He says to himself as he rises from his chair. He shakes his shoulders out and heads for the door to start his shift. “Fuck sake. You’re not a fucking teenager anymore. Jesus,” he whispers under his breath as he pushes the office door open and heads back out to the bar. 

He spares a glance in the direction of Steve’s booth and stops in his tracks when Steve waves him over. 

Fuck.

He’s not alone.

Eddie plasters his best fake smile on his face and makes his way over to the booth, where Steve and … Wyatt? The coffee shop guy? are already seated. 

What the hell is Steve doing with Wyatt? 

“Hey, Eds!” Steve says cheerfully as Eddie steps up to the table. “This is Wyatt. He runs …”

“The coffee shop on the corner, yeah I know Wyatt,” Eddie says with a warm(ish) smile. “How’s it going, man?” He says as he shakes Wyatt’s hand.

“Oh. I didn’t realize you knew one another,” Steve says as he sips his martini. “But I guess that makes sense, seeing as you’re both business owners on the block and all.”

“So how did you two meet?” Eddie asks, though he’s dreading the answer. But he still wants Wyatt to say it. They’ve been friendly — bordering on friends, even — for years. But thinking of Wyatt as GoochConnoisseur is almost a bridge too far for Eddie, if he’s honest.

“Snagged this little vixen on Grindr,” Wyatt says with a grin and a wink. “He was completely taken by my charm and wit, what can I say? Isn’t that right, baby?” Wyatt coos, all hands — all skeevy and gross — as he leans into Steve’s space and paws at him.

“Well, you did win me over with your opening line, I do have to admit,” Steve says, laughing softly. “Pretty creative.”

Wyatt smiles as he drains his drink and leans in to give Steve a peck on the cheek. “Go ahead and finish that drink and then we can go grab a bite to eat, what do you say? I’m gonna hit the head. Thinking we can go over to that steakhouse around the corner. But no steak for you, sweetness. Probably stick to a salad or something since you’ll be bottoming later,” he says with a creepy-ass grin as he slides out of the booth to excuse himself to the men’s room.

As soon as he’s out of earshot, Eddie slides into the booth beside Steve. “Steve, come on! Fucking Coffee Shop Wyatt? You can’t be fucking serious right now!” He whisper-shouts as he leans into Steve’s space.

“What? I mean, sure, he’s a little bit brash. But he’s kind of fun though, right?”

“You have GOT to be kidding me,” Eddie groans as he drops his head onto the table. “What the fuck, Steve? He’s all over you for fuck sake. And telling you to get a salad because you’ll be bottoming later? Have you ever even met this guy before tonight?”

“Sure. I mean, we texted and DM’d and stuff. He seems harmless,” Steve says with a shrug.

“He SEEMS like a creep. And you deserve better,” Eddie growls as he slides out of the bench seat and pushes away from the table just as Wyatt is returning from the men’s room. “Enjoy your salad, Steve,” he says as he heads over to the bar to help Wayne.

Eddie is trying. 

He really is.

He throws himself into the work, putting on his best customer-service-grin as he mixes drink after drink as the crowd at the bar builds. He’s so lost in the flow of pouring drinks that by the time he glances in the direction of Steve’s booth, Steve and Wyatt are long gone and another couple are seated there. 

“Of fucking course,” he grumbles as he pours yet another round of Lemon Drops.

“Eddie,” Wayne says as he slots himself behind his nephew as he opens yet another tab for a customer, “someone to see you.”

Eddie turns to see what’s up, barely masking his scowl as he hands the credit card back to his customer.

“Hey,” Steve says, a shy smile on his face. “Can we talk for a minute?”

“Dinner over already?” Eddie snarks as he places empty glasses in the wash water. “What’s up? Condoms are in the fishbowls — help yourself.”

“Eddie,” Steve says as he leans in, “Can we talk. Privately. Please.”

“Go on, Ed. Jon and I have you covered,” Wayne says with a wink, smiling as Eddie storms off toward the office, waving for Steve to follow behind.

Eddie ushers Steve inside and closes the door behind them. He locks it, just in case Wayne or Jon decides to pop in for some unknown reason and interrupt whatever the fuck this is going to become. Probably won’t matter anyhow — Steve has a date to get back to, after all.

“What’s up, Steve? Don’t you have to get back to your date?” Eddie says, his tone dripping with sarcasm as he rounds the desk to sit in the leather office chair. He leans back, kicking his feet up and propping them on the corner of the desk.

“Hang on a second … are you pissed at me for something here? Is that what this is?”

“Why would I be pissed at you, Steve?” Eddie says, rolling his eyes as he leans further back and settles into the plush seat. “You haven’t done anything for me to be pissed about.”

“No? So this whole … thing you’ve got going here …” Steve says as he gestures in a circular motion with his hand, “this is for no reason in particular? Just general purposes, is that it?” he asks as he moves to lean against the edge of the desk, nudging Eddie’s boots as he settles against the wood.

“What whole thing? I’m just working, Harrington. And you have a date to get back to now, dontcha BigBoy?”

Steve chuckles, shaking his head fondly. “I sent Wyatt away.”

“And now why would you go and do something like that, hm?”

“You know what, Eddie? For a smart guy, you really are pretty dumb sometimes.”

“Wow. Thanks, man. That’s why you wanted to talk? Cool. Thanks,” he says as he stomps his feet on the floor and rises from the chair with a dramatic flourish. “Well, this has been enlightening and all, but I need to get back out there. Thanks for stopping by.”

“No you don’t.”

“Sorry? No I don’t what, exactly?”

“You don’t need to get back out there. I heard Wayne tell you they have it covered. And it’s not lost on me that you locked the door when we came in here. So … are you gonna stay and talk, or what?”

“Talk about WHAT, Steve?” Eddie growls as he steps forward to crowd into Steve’s space, his chest pressed against Steve’s. “You already told me I’m a moron, so what else did you need to get off your chest, hm?”

“Christ, Eddie! I didn’t say that! Fucking hell, you are so fucking annoying sometimes!”

“Agreed. We done here?”

“Why are you being like this?”

“Like what?”

“Fuck… I don’t know what else I have to do, Eddie. It’s been months now that I’ve been coming in here. Putting myself through these RIDICULOUS dates. Sitting in that fucking booth and smiling into all of the lame fucking jokes and double entendres and fighting off handsy douchebags and fucking texting you and swanning all over this goddamn bar. And for what? You are so fucking oblivious, dude!”

“Did you just call me dude? While yelling at me?”

“Wasn’t yelling,” Steve says softly, his gaze lowered. “But you’re fucking infuriating. And you said …”

“I said what?”

“You said I deserve better.”

“That’s because you DO deserve fucking better, Steve! FUCK!” Eddie says, his temper nearly getting the better of him. 

“I know that, okay? You honestly think I don’t? Fuck, Eddie! What have I been doing all this shit for?  I’ll just ask you outright — what does a man have to do to get Eddie Munson’s attention? Because I’m out of ideas, man! I honestly have no fucking idea how to get your attention and it’s making me insane!”

“Wait. Hang the fuck on. Are you telling me that,” Eddie says, a smirk creeping across his face, “allllll this time … all these idiots you’ve been coming around here with … all the fucking Grindr screenshots you’ve been texting me … that was you FLIRTING?”

“I thought by now you would have picked up on the fact that I’m into you. How many kiss emojis do your ‘friends’ send you on a daily basis?” Steve says as he cocks an eyebrow. “No, you know what? Wait. Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t think I want to know.”

“And you thought I would pick up on you being into me by parading other fucking men around? All of whom are way out of my league, by the way. Except for fucking Wyatt,” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I didn’t go home with a single one of those men, Eddie. If you recall, I had a drink or two and then came straight over to you, pouring my poor dejected heart out about how awful dating is. And I told you about the wedding — I was gonna invite you to come as my guest … and then you said ‘let’s find you a date!’ So clearly that wasn’t gonna work.”

Sonofabitch. Could Wayne actually have been fucking right about this?

“So what was the deal with Wyatt then?”

Steve smiles as he reaches up and traces his fingertip along the collar of Eddie’s shirt. “Ah. Yes, Wyatt. Wyatt is an interesting story.”

“I’m listening.”

Steve smiles as he sits on the edge of the desk. “I stop by Wyatt’s place for coffee every single day on my way into work. And we’ve hit it off. He’s a nice guy. Funny.”

“Oh, yeah. He’s a real fucking riot, that one.”

Steve rolls his eyes dramatically before continuing, “Anyhow, I was telling him one day that I couldn’t seem to find a good way to get the attention of this guy I’m into. And then we started talking about Grindr and dating apps. So I had this idea …”

“Hang on, what? Are you saying that you and Wyatt … you set me up?”

“Kind of. I guess?” Steve says, smiling. “He was already on the app. And yes, GoochConnoisseur is his actual handle. Turns out that the Gooch picture I sent to him — you know, the guy from Diff’rent Strokes? That was the Gooch he was referring to when he made his handle. Big fan, apparently. Of both varieties of Gooch, as it turns out. Anyhow, we were talking about the crazy messages people send — turns out he’s received a shit-ton of unsolicited gooch pics — and I got to thinking that maybe if I could arrange a bad enough date it might coax a reaction out of you. And we could finally talk about the fact that there is clearly something between us here.”

“So he was being intentionally slimy?”

“Yeah. He was pretty good at that part, I have to say.”

“And you felt like that was a better approach than just … oh, I dunno … talking to me?”

“Eddie. I swear to you, I have tried. So many times. But every time, you either change the subject or start going on and on about how the right guy is out there for me, how I shouldn’t give up hope. And even though I felt like we have this connection, I was honestly beginning to wonder if I’m half insane. Because you never seem interested.”

“So you wanted me to react the way I did out there?”

“Well … I figured if you had no reaction at all, then I was just … mistaken. Reading things wrong. But if you did react, then maybe not. And then I would do this,” Steve says, gesturing between them. “So this is me, doing this.”

“You know you could have just talked to me, Steve. I mean, you have to know that, right? I have been dying a slow, agonizing death every time you bring some new dickhead in here. And yes, I have been trying to keep my distance because I thought you were only interested in friendship. I was trying to be a decent guy.”

“I know you were,” Steve says as he stands up, pressing himself against Eddie’s chest once more. He reaches up and rests his forearms on Eddie’s shoulders, coaxing him closer. “And you ARE a decent guy. That’s the reason I’m so into you. Have been since the first time I came in. And then when you actually came over that night with the drinks? I was gone.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, a slow grin creeping across his face, highlighting his dimples.

“Yeah. I guess I was just nervous, maybe? It’s been a long time since I was in the dating pool. My last relationship was long-term. And sure, I can admit I’m not terribly smooth. I just didn’t wanna fuck it up. And then we became friends. And I didn’t wanna fuck that up, either.”

“Well. I didn’t want to fuck anything up with you either. I have to say, though — for a professor, you’re shit at communicating.”

“Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut the fuck up and kiss me.”

Eddie surges forward, grasping Steve by the jaw and tilting his head to slot their lips together. He groans as Steve parts his lips slightly to welcome him in, and the soft moan he receives in response nearly drives him insane. He runs his tongue along Steve’s upper lip, delighting in the way Steve seems to melt into the kiss, their tongues intertwined as they explore each other’s mouths.

When he pulls away to look Steve in the eye, he can’t help but grin. “Been wanting to do that since the first time I laid eyes on you.”

“Well. Better late than never and all that, but what I really want is for you to take me home and fuck my brains out.”

They say their goodbyes to Wayne and Jon and quickly make their way to Eddie’s car, arriving at Eddie’s place a few short minutes later. Eddie fumbles with the lock, finally shoving the door open as they nearly tumble into the entryway. They quickly shed their jackets and shoes, and Eddie surges forward to claim another kiss. He backs Steve into the living room, never breaking the kiss as he brings forth the most delectable sounding little breathy moans from his throat. They work their way through the room to the couch and Steve’s knees buckle, forcing him down with a thud against the cushions, Eddie following to straddle his lap. They both moan softly as they deepen the kiss, each just exploring the other’s mouth.

Eddie loves kissing. It’s fun. Intimate. Can be filthy and debauched. But also it’s really just nice. He feels desired and alive when he’s being kissed. Cherished, almost. Kissing might actually be one of his favorite activities. Eddie moans into the taste of Steve Harrington — he tastes a bit of the martinis he had at the bar. But mostly he just tastes of desire. Fuck, Eddie could kiss him for hours. Days. Weeks.

“Steve …” Eddie manages to get out between kisses, panting. “Hey … Steve… why don’t you get this off for me, hm?” He says as he plucks the collar of Steve’s shirt. “Want to see more of you.”

Steve nods and quickly complies, dragging his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor behind the couch as he leans against the back of the couch to watch as Eddie does the same. 

Eddie is nearly overwhelmed as he takes in the sight before him — it’s not fair for this man to be this pretty. He traces his fingertips along Steve’s collar bone, mapping each of his moles and freckles, determined to commit them to memory. He wants to map out each landmark on Steve’s flesh. Wants to make art in his form and hang it on the wall. Fuck. Eddie wants to eat him. Wants to be eaten by him. 

Steve wriggles on the couch as he works to shed his pants, leaving only his boxers, and he reaches out to trace around the bud of Eddie’s nipple with his fingertip, enjoying the quiet little whimper he gets in response as the flesh pebbles beneath his touch. 

“Fuck, you’re driving me insane, Steve,” Eddie says as he kisses along Steve’s jawline, moving his hand lower along the line of his rib cage before settling at his waist. He watches Steve’s reactions reverently as he continues to tease and trace his fingertips along each mole and freckle on Steve’s body. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Eddie breathes into another kiss, smirking as Steve wriggles in place to try and force one of Eddie’s hands hand lower - to force contact where he wants it most. 

Eddie smiles into another kiss as Steve gasps and writhes beneath his touch, whimpering a bit more with every inch Eddie’s fingertips travel on their path toward his dick, and Eddie gently swats his hand away as he continues to kiss and lick into Steve’s mouth, devouring his breath. 

Fuck, Steve is a good kisser. 

“Let me?” Steve asks, smiling when Eddie nods, granting permission for him to reach forward and deftly unbutton Eddie’s jeans, slowly lowering the zipper. 

“Fuck… Yes! You’re killing me here, Stevie.”

Steve smirks, cocking an eyebrow. “Well, we can’t have that now can we?” he asks as he reaches forward to try and help remove Eddie’s jeans and boxers, a delighted gasp escaping him as he finally frees Eddie’s cock from its confines and it bounces back against his abdomen. “Holy shit,” Steve coos in appreciation.

“Impressed?” Eddie snarks, rising briefly so he can kick his jeans and underwear off before returning to his position straddling Steve on the couch, his hard cock smooth against the coarse hair on Steve’s abdomen.

“Fuck yeah I’m impressed. I mean, I had a feeling you were big, but this has surpassed my imagination.” Steve reaches forward and wraps his hand around Eddie’s impressive girth, slowly stroking from root to tip as Eddie moans above him.  

He doesn’t get far as Eddie grabs him around the wrist and gently moves his hand away, smiling as he leans in for another kiss. 

“I really want to blow you, Steve. Can I?” Eddie whispers, eliciting a low moan from the breathless man beneath him. 

Steve nods, his throat bobbing with the effort as he catches his breath. “Fuck yes. Oh my god. Please,” he gasps as Eddie moves to kneel at his feet. Eddie taps Steve on the hip to coax him to lift up so he can remove Steve’s boxers, laughing softly as he balls them up and tosses them over the couch to join the rest of Steve’s clothing on the floor. He leans down to place a soft kiss on each of Steve’s balls before licking a far too gentle stripe along the length of his cock. He gently takes the head into his mouth, sucking softly before giving it a gentle kiss, swirling his tongue around the slit before plunging the length of Steve’s cock into his throat, settling his nose against the neatly trimmed thatch of pubic hair and nuzzling gently.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Steve whines, arching upward and threading his hands in Eddie’s hair. “Fuck. Eddie,” he moans, panting. “How are you even real? Are you kidding me right now?”

Eddie slowly pulls away, tracing swirls along the underside of Steve’s cock as he withdraws it from his throat with a grin. He places a few kitten licks around the head as he grasps Steve at the base. “You gonna keep talking shit, or are you gonna fuck my throat?”

Steve growls as he tugs Eddie’s head back down, tapping the head of his cock on Eddie’s chin before tracing the outline of his lips with it, coaxing his mouth to fall open once more. “Fuck… you look so good like this,” Steve pants as he begins to slowly feed his dick back inside Eddie’s mouth. “If you need me to slow down or stop, just smack me on the leg or something, okay?”

Eddie nods and hums around his cock, dragging his tongue around the head in circles. He pulls off momentarily and licks along the side. “I’ll tap out if I need to. Been dying to taste you for ages, Stevie. Want you to fuck my throat,” he pants.

Steve nods, breathless as he resumes feeding Eddie his cock, slowly at first. Eddie reaches forward and grabs Steve by the waist to try and coax him forward. Steve takes the hint and begins to really thrust into the well of Eddie’s throat, the clutch of muscle flexing around the head of his cock as Eddie works him over. 

One of Eddie’s favorite activities is giving head. He absolutely loves the thrill of taking a fat, thick cock into his mouth and fluttering the muscles at the back of his throat. He’s practiced holding his breath – he knows breath control. He knows how to make his partners lose their fucking minds. And right now he is absolutely certain that he needs to feel Steve’s thick cock slamming against the back of his fucking esophagus. Because he also knows that Steve isn’t likely to last very long. 

Eddie is a lot of things. And one of those things is an expert cocksucker.

Steve’s rhythm begins to falter after just a few minutes and Eddie knows he’s close. He moans, his grip tightening in Eddie’s hair as he tugs gently at the roots to encourage him to keep going. “Baby, where should I…” Steve groans as he feels his peak approaching, and Eddie responds by bracing his forearm against Steve’s hips to hold him down while fluttering his tongue along Steve’s cock as if to say don’t you dare stop . 

Eddie takes himself in hand, slowly stroking as Steve continues to fuck his throat. He moans, letting the vibration of his throat do the heavy lifting as he works in tandem along the tightrope of pleasure strung between them, the pace of his own orgasm catching up as Steve cries out and his orgasm crashes home like a tsunami, Eddie moaning hungrily as he reaches his own peak and Steve’s come flows freely down his eager throat.

Eddie wipes his hand on his discarded boxers discreetly as he remains in place at Steve’s feet, continuing to gently lick along the shaft as Steve shudders above him, spent and overstimulated. Once the gentle haze of post-orgasm bliss begins to lift, Eddie smiles warmly as he rises from his place on the floor and takes Steve by the hand, leading him to the bedroom. 

“Come on,” Eddie whispers as he leads Steve down the hallway, “let’s lie down for a while.” Once inside the bedroom, he pulls the covers aside and guides Steve to lie on the mattress before climbing over and lying against his back, pulling him against his chest with a sigh as he pulls the blankets over their naked bodies.

“Want you to fuck me,” Steve says, his voice hoarse with fatigue. 

“Shh. Plenty of time for that now. You’re exhausted.”

“But you didn’t come,” Steve says as he cranes his neck to look over his shoulder at Eddie.

“I abso-fucking-lutely did come, baby. You think I could hold back when I had you out there like THAT? No way. And even if I hadn’t, so what? You think that wasn’t one of the most intense, formative sexual experiences of my insignificant little life just now out there? Fuck, Steve. I could do that all day. That was amazing.”

“Pshh,” Steve scoffs as he pulls Eddie’s arms more tightly around himself. “Well, you will never hear me turn that down. Ever. Jesus Fucking Christ.”

“Well, I aim to please,” Eddie whispers as he presses a gentle kiss to Steve’s pulse point.

“Hey, Eddie?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I forgot to mention before. I need to send a gooch picture to Wyatt. That was the deal.”

“Yeah. That isn’t gonna happen, baby. Nobody gets that but me now.”

“Eddie! I gave my word!” Steve says, laughing as he playfully smacks Eddie on the forearm.

“Fine. I guess I do have him to thank for all this, after all. But I’m sending it from my phone. Can’t have ol’ Wyatt getting any ideas about my man.”

“I really love the sound of that. And for what it’s worth, I’m so sorry I almost fucked all of this up. But I’m glad we made it here eventually.”

“Well, I could have said something too. Not fair to put all of that on you, baby,” he says as he leans forward to capture Steve’s lips in a good night kiss. He gasps as he has a sudden realization, his head springing upward as he groans, “Fuck! This means Wayne was DEFINITELY right. I fucking HATE when he’s right. But, it’s true — We made it here eventually, and that’s all that really matters.”

“Would you say … that’s The Bottom Line?”

“Ugh — puns, Steven? And not even a good one — that was HORRIBLE!” Eddie groans, his laughter shaking the mattress. “Never mind, I take it all back. Get out.”

“Like you could ever live without me now. Not a chance. You’re stuck with me.”

“I think I could get used to that idea.”

“Good. So … how do you feel about Indiana weddings?”

“Open bar?”

“Of course.”

“Wouldn’t miss it. Now sleep, baby,” Eddie whispers as he hugs Steve tighter against his chest. “You need your rest, because there is no way I’m going another day without fucking you.”

“Took you long enough.”