Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Cloud was holding onto Sephiroth’s bouncing thigh with one hand, the rented car’s door with his other. Kadaj and Loz were whisper-fighting each other on the seats in front of them, not at all dismayed by Cid’s angry glares from the middle mirror. Yazoo was busy cuddling closer and closer to Sephiroth’s side, as if he thought that if he tried hard enough they could merge and then he’d be free to not exist.

Cloud couldn’t blame him. He related.

They had planned this months in advance. They had made sure all of their legal obligations were settled for the rest of the year, and Zack had hired some friends of his who needed the extra gil to fill in for Cloud’s absence during the busiest time for the delivery company. The kids and Seph had no school, Vincent had finally quit his job to take care of everyone; Aerith and Tifa would be staying in Nibelheim later on too.

Everything should be fine. Barret kept mumbling under his breath about how he was jealous of the time off Cloud would be having. “My girl only gets me for four days, and then I’m back to work!” he had said, and Cloud…

Cloud could feel his stomach twisting in knots as Nibelheim came closer and closer despite the bumpy dirt road. He always hated the sight of it in the distance. It felt like it was suffocating him, looking over him like a damn heavy rainstorm when he had nothing but a jacket to protect himself.

Worse yet, now, he had a whole damn bunch of kids and a very vulnerable man to take care of as well.

“Why are they waiting out in the cold?” Cid asked from the steering wheel, making everyone behind him lean towards the middle to take a peek.

“Mother…” Sephiroth whispered, his lips spreading into a wide smile.

“The population has not changed in the slightest, I see,” Vincent commented as he observed all the nosy villagers who had decided to stand watch like this was a damn event or something, and — truth be told, it made Cloud even more anxious about this whole thing.

He felt Sephiroth squeezing his hand tightly. He glanced up at him, only to be met with his full attention, disarming and contagious grin painting his face.

“Are you feeling well?” he was asked.

“I’m good,” Cloud replied quickly. “You?”

“I am very well, yes.”

That made one of them, then. Cloud inhaled deeply and turned towards the window on his other side. For a second, at least. Sephiroth called for him again a breath later.

“Cloud?”

“Hm?”

“May I have a kiss?”

Usually, he’d tell him off if he was asked like this, in front of all the kids, plus Vincent, plus Cid on top. Now, though…

Now his stomach felt like an empty pit, and Sephiroth’s lips were soft and nice. Too nice to turn down.

“Ewww!”

“Yucky!”

“Stop it! Stop it!”

He ignored Kadaj and Loz (who was way too easily influenced by his brother) and squeezed his eyes tighter as Sephiroth kissed him, his lips chapped and cold as they moved against his own.

When he finally pulled away, he looked even more smug than when they started. “Thank you.”

Gods. Cloud hated this politeness sometimes. “You’re welcome,” he muttered with more than a little sarcasm, and then let go of his hand and reached for his cheek, pulling him down one more time as the car finally stopped, just a few meters away from his house. Maybe he was just… making sure he got his kisses before they officially started their vacation. For all he knew, he’d not get the chance again. He’d definitely not get the chance in public, so he pulled the lower lip with his teeth and savored the breath that hitched in that long and marked throat.

Vincent opened the door first, shaking Cloud out of his stupid daze. The cold air filled the car immediately, all of the kids hissed as they huddled closer to each other — or in Yazoo’s case, even closer to Sephiroth. It was cuter than Cloud wanted to admit when the other actually hugged him back.

“Be nice or else, ya hear me? Or you’ll have to beg your grandpa to buy those bicycles, which means he ain’t gonna build them in the colors you want like I would,” Cid threatened, and then he was out as well.

“Cloud?”

He bit his lip, turning to Sephiroth as his name fell from that pretty mouth. “Yeah?”

“More, later?”

He rolled his eyes and opened the door on his side, biting back a hiss of his own at the cold that greeted him, offering his hand down to Sephiroth to join him after.

“Had a safe trip, baby?” his mom asked before he was even fully out.

“Sure. If you ignore Kadaj trying to bite off Cid’s ear.”

“I didn’t!” Kadaj objected, shameless as ever. “I didn’t! Loz lied!”

“I don’t lie!”

“Dad? It’s cold, and there’s people outside… I don’t wanna get out…”

Cloud sighed, walking around the car and offering a quiet apology to Cid for not helping them with his own baggage. “We said we’d walk to grandma’s home, didn’t we?” He opened the door on that side too and tried to ignore the nasty looks all the villagers around were giving them. “You wanted to see Seph’s village, didn’t you?”

“Yours too, right, dad?” Yazoo whispered softly.

Cloud sighed again.

Sephiroth had walked forward and opened the door for Kadaj and Loz too, on his one knee offering his embrace for them to join him outside. “I assure you, I am as intimidated as you are —”

“I wanna go home!” Kadaj shouted.

“It’s so cold, and you’re scared, and I don’t like it here!” Loz added, words spilling onto each other as he rushed to speak.

“There, there,” Lucrecia said as she approached too, her knowing eyes filled with… something, as she grasped Sephiroth’s shoulder and offered one gloved hand forward. “It is a little overwhelming, I know.”

“Oh, come on,” Cloud’s mom cut in, and when he straightened up and looked at her from the other side of the car, she was still holding onto Lucrecia’s arm. “They don’t wanna walk, then they don’t have to walk. We’ll explore the village when they feel a bit more confident!”

That seemed like a better alternative it seemed, as Yazoo quickly huddled further away from Cloud’s grasp on the seat. Kadaj and Loz tended to stay quiet when Lucrecia came into the picture, so their silence was taken as an answer to this by Sephiroth, who simply got on his feet and shut the doors on his side. Cloud had half a mind to jump into the car himself, but he knew better than that by now. Instead he copied the other and straightened his back, pretending not to feel all those eyes on him as he approached his mother and allowed her to embrace him.

“Feeling dizzy? Want me to get you some medicine?”

“I’m fine, ma.”

“It’s a long way from the Corel inn, Cloudy.”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

Lucrecia was hugging Sephiroth, Sephiroth’s arms tight around her as he leaned forward to accommodate his height.

This was all disgustingly domestic. Cloud felt like an outsider, anxiety grasping his middle and painting a giant gaping hole over his heart.

Cid broke the silence and the murmurs of the villagers as he approached again, with Vincent not even a step behind him. “Cute as this is, can we just keep it for when we got less eyes on our asses?”

“Yes,” Lucrecia replied. “That is a good point.”

“Hop right in, ladies! It’ll be a tight fit. We can throw out Kadaj to save some space.”

“Noo!” Came Kasaj’s objection.

“Shouldn't have tried to bite my ass!”

“I didn't!”

“It’s fine,” Cloud cut in before this got out of hand. “I’ll go unpack and join you later.” Before his mother had a chance to, at the very least.

“Cloud?”

He ignored Sephiroth’s questioning gaze, deliberately not looking up at him when he felt those eyes dart directly into his damn soul. “Save some chocolate milk for me too.”

“Of course, Stormcloud.”

He tried to hide his grimace at the nickname Lucrecia used. She used it… often, actually. Not that Cloud spent much time with her, but the few she visited Midgar, it was hard not to when they shared a damn house, ever since Cloud moved in with Sephiroth and Vincent. Even so, only close friends used that damn nickname, so it always felt out of place when Sephiroth’s damn mother did too.

“Cloud, may I help you with your—”

“Go check out your mom’s childhood home, dammit.”

Sephiroth froze at Cloud’s sharp retort. Cloud’s mother gasped right after, making it even worse. Honestly, he didn't know where it came from, but he refused to turn and face them afterwards.

“Let’s go, I’m freezing my ass off!”

At least Cid had Cloud’s back, bailing him out like that.

Instead of daring to look at any of their offended (or worse, hurt) expressions, Cloud turned to his own childhood home, to the suitcases the older men had left just outside the front door for him to unpack. More and more whispering filled his ears.

It would be a long holiday, it seemed.

Sephiroth looked out from the fogged up car window. His mother was by his side, leaning against his shoulder — much to Yazoo’s dismay, who whispered something about his seat being stolen. Mrs Claudia was holding onto Loz, and Kadaj was as far away from them as he could, on the seats one row forward. All the while Sephiroth…

Sephiroth looked out from the fogged up car window.

He wasn’t looking at the village though. He wasn’t looking at his history, at the people who had kept his mother company as she awaited for Sephiroth’s return. No, of course not. Instead, he was looking at Cloud’s back as he carried his bags inside. The precious few glimpses of his house were blurry at best; he couldn’t help the sigh that left his lungs. The darkness of the gloomy day didn't help with his curiosity.

“So, are you excited to open your presents?” Mrs Claudia was asking, overly polite and smiling as always.

Loz mumbled something. Something unintelligible.

“You take the left here,” Sephiroth’s father provided, pointing with a finger through a dirt road for Cid. “Lucrecia, should he park inside?”

“Of course,” his mother replied. “Zack was kind enough to help with the garden and the garage, fret not.”

“You've met Zachary.”

It wasn't phrased as a question, but Sephiroth knew to interpret it that way from his cadence alone.

“I have indeed.”

Nibelheim was… cold. More than just the atmosphere, the people all looked cold and distant. It seemed almost like a curse that spread into his own people too, as both of his parents spoke like strangers and Cid pretended not to mind Kadaj kicking at the back of his seat.

Worse yet… Cloud wasn't with them.

“Are you well, baby?”

Sephiroth tensed under his mother's soft squeeze. “I feel cold,” he admitted.

“Me too!”

“I'm froze!”

“Are we there yet?”

He ignored the snakes and stared out the window instead, at the trees with no leaves that guided the road towards the manor, as his father called it.

It was certainly imposing, much bigger than his childhood home. The garden was filled with decorated but dead plants and trees, yet the paths were clean and wide, looping around the front of the home and leading to benches or what seemed to be a fountain that hadn't been in use in lifetimes. It was… objectively good as a sight, and yet Sephiroth couldn't discard that sinking feeling of dread as Cloud's absence took root deep inside and held his spirits back.

“Mother… I wanna go home…”

He ignored Kadaj too. His own mother actually comforted him anyway, her voice turning softer and higher pitch as she assured them that it looks better on the inside.

“It is… bright,” he pointed out himself.

“Do you not like it?”

Her hurt question made him tense up even more. He turned to face her, alarmed when he saw actual stress lines on her face. “I think it looks lovely. Like… a night sky.”

“That's quite the goal,” Vincent commented from the front of the car.

His mother's expression eased at any rate, melting into something closer to happiness than simple relief.

“Thank Shiva for Zack’s offer to fetch us a new ladder from Corel,” Cloud’s mom chimed in. “We’d have ended up with more than a few broken bones if we used the ones we had. Tall walls!”

“Please, be careful,” Sephiroth replied, eyes turning back to the bright yellow lights that decorated the windows, the doors, a few of the fading bushes and skinny trees.

It didn't even occur to him that someone would have to put all of those decorations up. That was all her, and knowing Mrs Claudia, her as well.

“I think it looks… very nice,” he muttered soon after, and truthfully he meant it.

“I'm glad!”

The car stopped right by the front iron gates, Cid's comments about them arriving at their destination too far away for Sephiroth to really pay attention to them. The sky was dark despite the hour, and the air was cold when he exited the vehicle again. The kids got scared when they noticed that they could see their own breaths appear in front of their faces, and…

And Cloud wasn't there to experience this with Sephiroth.

Logically he knew that his partner was only a couple of hundred meters away, that he'd join them soon. Emotionally though, he did not want to move from where he stood by that gate.

“Sephiroth.”

Not even his father's voice could shake him out of it.

“You will catch a cold.”

Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo all huddled around him, and not for the first time he felt like he was suffocating. Even so, he did not have it in him any longer to push them away. He let them touch him, hold him, take all the comfort they wanted from him, while Sephiroth himself ached for Cloud's warmth.

He didn't want to enter. He didn't want to approach. Not like this.

“Sephiroth, baby, let's go,” his mother muttered by his side, and for once he was glad for the snakes that coiled around him. That way, she didn't get to grasp his bicep like she obviously wanted to do.

“Lucrecia, it's ok,” his father said.

“You heard Rayleigh, Vincent, he needs to be careful!”

“Hey, Lucrecia, it's okay…”

“Dad, I'm cold.”

“Shut up, Loz!”

He could barely think as more and more voices chimed in. He shut his eyes and tried to slow his heart down to something more normal, more human.

Cloud took a deep breath. The house was as cold as it had ever been during the midst of winter, memories of his childhood as biting as the breeze that slithered from under the windowsills.

He could still hear people whisper their offensive comments from outside.

The Crescents are back.

Did she get back together with her husband? Good, good, let's hope they try for another child.

A woman her age should not be all alone.

I heard Claudia talking about her son. The tall one looked like her, didn't he?

What of the babes? They had babes with them!

Horrible father either way. Abandoning his wife like that at her worst.

She must have cheated on him or something. I've heard the Valentines were a good bunch.

Cloud gritted his teeth and pushed himself up from his childhood bed. He had barely managed to unpack his shit, shoving the bags by the door and praying his ma wouldn't go looking through them for anything being forgotten in them.

With another deep sigh, he himself out of his thoughts on his childhood, the lonely days he had spent in this very room, and wore his jacket. He tried not to look at them when a whole crowd turned towards the door, nor did he flinch at their gasps and offended gazes when he didn’t even bother pretending he was interested in having any conversations with them.

Conversations was a bit too generous of a word for it anyway. It would be closer to an interrogation, he knew.

So, he avoided them, like he always did. He avoided them and walked through the freezing cold, towards the manor on the edge of the village, hidden behind the trees.

To his surprise, Sephiroth was outside, despite the cold. Alone, he leaned back against the iron gate and looked up at the insanely big house like he was Gods-damned possessed.

“Oi,” Cloud shouted out. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Cloud,” the other gasped, as if he had been asleep and rudely awakened or something. “You are here.”

“What the fuck are you doing out here?” he repeated, jogging the remaining steps and reaching up to pull his scarf a little higher over his neck. “You’ll freeze to death, Seph.”

“I…”

The kids could be heard from inside, exclaims and shouts about the bright lights the main takeaway he could find. Lucrecia and Cloud’s mom too, their talks excited and loud, showing them around.

“Come on. You don’t wanna spend all our holidays in bed with a fever, dammit.”

They approached the front gate just as it opened again, Cid and Vincent still on carrying duty as they unloaded the car.

“Leave it, we got this,” they said both when Cloud and Sephiroth moved to help them.

“Mother! Look! Tree! Like the one Tifa and Aerith have, with colors!”

Kadaj seemed… awestruck by everything, his eyes wide and full of glitter as he ran up and down like he had infinite energy.

Not like Cloud could mock him for it though. He felt the same himself in a sense.

The house itself was… huge. Spacious and wide inside, filled with decorations, lights, teddy bears on the staircase…

All Cloud could think about was how expensive the heating bill probably came each month, with those tall walls and all.

“There he is,” Cloud’s mom said, her hands on her hips as she stood by said Yule tree with Lucrecia and the kids. “Got over yourself, Cloudy-wolf?”

Cloud sneered. “Ha-ha.”

“Would you like to see your room, Sephiroth? I made a point to keep the one your grandparents had decorated just for you intact. And you three, your own is adjacent, so you will have nothing to worry about during the night.”

“Ad… jacent?” Yazoo muttered softly.

“Do you need me?” Cloud asked up at Sephiroth instead, letting the scientist deal with the grammar explanations for the kids. Well, for Yazoo, rather. The others didn't really care.

“Yes.”

He swallowed. Hard.

Truthfully, much as he loved Seph and the kids… he hated this. He hated walking side by side with him on the stairs, he hated his mother’s knowing eyes, heavy on their backs. He hated how Vincent and Lucrecia both treated him like a son — and worst of all, he knew he was being unreasonable about everything in that damn list.

“The bed is changed, of course, but the wallpaper and the curtains are the exact same — well, minus these of course. There is a private bathroom through the door here,” Lucrecia explained as she showed them around, “shared, with the kids of course. The balcony door key is in already, just make sure you lock it at night if you do end up opening it.” The room itself was quite dark, the newly added black-out curtains not helping at all with the blue walls.

“Sephiroth, here,” Vincent interrupted, offering a couple of suitcases to him.

“Thank you, father.”

“Need anything, Lucrecia?”

“No, we are good I think! Time to show the kids their beds for the holidays!”

Cloud watched the exchange and he felt more like a damn perv looking through someone’s window than anything else. He changed the balance on his feet and rubbed at the back of his neck, trying to pretend that he didn’t exist.

He couldn’t pretend for long, of course. The moment Lucrecia, Vincent and the triplets were out of the door, he was grabbed by Sephiroth and thrown on that ridiculously big bed.

“Oi!” he hissed as quietly as he could. “The fuck’s your problem!?”

“I want you, Cloud.”

“Too bad!” he snapped, pushing the other’s face off his neck and ignoring the pout that painted it right after. “Ever wondered whether I want you when you do this kinda shit?”

Sephiroth was ridiculously good at playing dumb. He tilted his head and parted his lips, looking closer to a kitten than a man. “Do you not?”

“Not right now, no!” he replied quickly, and then wiggled somewhat out of that tight grasp. Which wasn’t fully escaping, that was way too tall a task considering Sephiroth’s strength nowadays, but still. He sat upright against the headboard of the bed and ignored the warmth that spread in his body from how close the other held him, laying on him as he was.

“Cloud.”

He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Cloud, please, look at me.”

There was only so much self-restraint he had. He cracked on eye half-opened.

“Do you wish to stop being intimate with me?”

“I sure as fuck didn’t say that! But this —”

“But what?”

“But we literally just now arrived! And my mother is downstairs, and both your parents and your kids are next door — two different ones, might I add! — and the whole village of Nibelheim was staring at us not even twenty minutes ago and you —”

“And I want you.”

“And you want to fuck!”

“Or get fucked. You know I am not picky.”

“Sephiroth!” he hissed.

“Please, Cloud,” the other whispered, his face moving closer to Cloud’s chest, over his thick shirt. “Would you have me beg?”

This was getting out of hand. He needed to get up, get out, go back home — and then jump in the bathtub and fill it with freezing cold water.

“Because I will. I will beg for your body if it means you’ll let me taste you.”

“Sephiroth,” he tried to say, but it came out all wrong, his voice broken and weak. “Stop it.”

“Please, Cloud…”

Cloud was… not a very strong man. That was well established long ago, but this was still a very stark reminder, as despite all of his anger, all of his conflicted emotions, he still gave in when the other ran his left hand over Cloud’s crotch. He threw his head back and pretended not to hear Loz’s loud questions from across the hallway — their journey continuing on in this enormous house.

“Pretty please,” he continued, his lips making Cloud hiss as they trailed over his soft pants — which had been serving him well on the drive here, but now…

Now they were barely able to hide his erection, that same one Sephiroth was mouthing over.

“I hate you,” he bit out.

“I love you,” the other whispered.

They didn’t get to do this often. Their schedules were a mess, and honestly they were both pretty tired when they finally settled in for the night in their daily routine. So, it was quite a surprise when Sephiroth managed to get Cloud’s cock out with almost no hiccups in the process.

“Fuck,” Cloud cursed out. He made the mistake of looking down, and that was enough to undo him.

Sephiroth was staring up at him as he let his tongue travel up towards the head, green eyes filled with nothing but curiosity and lust. He was holding onto him with his left hand, while his right rested on Cloud's thigh, slowly mapping it out with long fingers.

“We gotta be quick,” Cloud mumbled. “Come on. Either suck me off or don’t.” He reached forward, his own right hand pushing some of those long silver locks aside, behind Sephiroth’s ear, and then gently pulled his head closer.

Sephiroth was as obedient as ever — for now that he had gotten what he wanted, at least. He obliged, lips locking around Cloud’s length and instantly moving, tongue tasting him as if it was the first time, as if there would be an exam or something later.

“Fuck,” Cloud repeated, his head falling back again.

“Mhm,” Sephiroth half-moaned half-mocked, and then he went to work.

They didn’t get to do this enough, but obviously the few times they did, Sephiroth had been taking notes, because he knew exactly how to suck him off to make him a blubbering mess in mere seconds.

“Seph, fuck —”

“Love your weight,” the other said for a second, pulling away and mumbling it against Cloud’s cock, not caring for the mess that trailed over his lips, before he threw a couple of licks on its base and then took it down his throat once more.

Cloud was simply glad it was over when he finally finished, pulling Sephiroth’s head closer and closer to make sure he’d not ruin his clothes and the clean blankets underneath them.

The afterglow only lasted for a few heartbeats, and then he felt panic seize him again, quickly pushing Sephiroth back and tucking himself in once more.

“They are downstairs,” the other said, and when Cloud glanced to look at him, he could do nothing but stare at his appearance. At his messy hair, his glistening chin and watery eyes.

“Shit. You need to wash your face.”

“Do I?” the damn devil said, left palm coming up and —

“Fucking hells, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth licked his own palm clean, before he pushed whatever fluid had been left on his face into his mouth. “Are you feeling a little better?”

“No!” Cloud snapped. “Quite the opposite, actually!”

“But I thought —”

At the very least the kids were loud as they barreled through the staircase, their stomping outright shaking the old wooden floors.

“Go! Clean yourself up!” Cloud snapped, pushing Sephiroth off the bed. He felt a little bad, considering he could see that erection poke under the dress pants — but they literally had no time.

He righted his clothes just in time. The door opened, and before he could even say hi all three of the kids were jumping on the bed with him — which had him panicking even more, looking around for anything being off.

“Grandma made cookies! She said they’re your favorite!” Yazoo said.

“Huh?” he asked, his eyes glancing at the half-opened bathroom door, at Sephiroth’s body leaning forward in front of the faucet. “What?”

“She said you should come downstairs and tell us the story of when you tried to make some and almost started a fire!”

His whole head was ringing, too much happening too quickly, and his heartbeat had still not lowered from his damn orgasm, so it took him more than a few moments to realize what Kadaj was saying.

“Kadaj, who are you calling grandma?”

“Claudia!”

Cloud felt like he was about to pass out.

Sephiroth hated this. He hated Cloud’s sour mood, and he hated being in the dark regarding his feelings.

Genesis always claimed that Cloud was a simple type of man, that Sephiroth had already won him over and so he had nothing to worry about, but Angeal disagreed. He claimed that Sephiroth should always fight for his mate — his partner in life, that he should never see him as an accessory that would always wait for him back home.

So, here Sephiroth was, sitting right next to Cloud on a way too large couch, close enough to share warmth with the man, his hands roaming over his shoulder, his thigh when he could get away with it, only to be shoved off, to be told to keep it together under hissed breaths.

Both of their mothers were keeping busy, and with it they were saving them from the headache that were the kids as well. They were reading them books — some that his own had claimed she had read to him a very long time ago too. Because it was obvious that it mattered to her, Sephiroth had attempted to listen along to the tale, but the longer it dragged on, the more he got bored, far more interested in the man who was right by his side than any story about speaking animals would ever be.

“Will you need help bringing your clothes here, Cloud?” he whispered softly, just as he noticed his father and Cid move towards the kitchen, already starting to prepare the dining table.

“Why would I bring my clothes?” the other snapped, agitated and angry as ever, though Sephiroth had yet to pinpoint the reason.

“I am not planning to play nice for the rest of our holiday,” Sephiroth warned, and he hoped it came out less like a threat and more like a playful joke.

“Oi.”

He wasn’t sure whether he succeeded or not. All that he knew was that he didn’t want to sleep alone. He didn’t want to lay on that big bed and think about all the people he had forgotten, all the people who had died while he was kept away, under Hojo’s labs.

“Mom! Look! This one looks like us!”

He forced his eyes to turn to Kadaj, to the way he pointed at the book his own mother was holding up to show to him and Cloud.

“They do not,” Sephiroth muttered. “Those are green snakes. You and I both know our scales were pale.”

“But mom!”

“He is right,” Yazoo chimed in, and the instantly regretted it as both Loz and Kadaj started arguing with him, no longer interested in the tale at all.

The house was big, yes. The decorations all shined, bright and colorful and distracting. Sephiroth spent way too long staring at the blinking lights all around, as did the kids too, once they finally calmed down. After they had eaten dinner, they all snuggled close to him and all but snored through their sleepiness. It was nice, for a while. The hours passed like water, easier than he ever thought such a thing to be. Back in the labs, he used to beg for time to speed up, even though he knew that was illogical and impossible.

“Time to go, ma,” Cloud announced soon after, after he had just turned down Sephiroth’s father’s offer for a glass of whiskey. He never really joined him in such occasions no matter how many times the man asked him, but even so…

Sephiroth really didn’t want to see him go.

“Cloud,” he mumbled, careful not to wake the triplets. Kadaj, who had been resting his head on Sephiroth’s thigh, twitched somewhat.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?”

But Sephiroth didn’t want to talk. He was tired of talking.

His mother and Claudia exchanged some more words by the front door, leftover food stored in boxes given to the woman despite her turning it down multiple times.

“You cooked most of it, might as well have it as a midnight snack if you get the craving!” his mother was saying, and yet all Sephiroth could do was stare at Cloud and pray the man would look at him and reconsider.

No such luck. Cloud kept his eyes away, towards the darkness of the trees around the manor.

“Have a good night, everyone! We will speak again tomorrow!”

“You better help us show the kids around the village,” his mother said, and that was good enough to alert at least Loz and Kadaj, both shifting in their bleariness.

“Night,” Cloud said, and then…

And then Sephiroth felt lost. Lost like those first days he had spent hidden in Aerith’s garden. Lost after Genesis and Angeal both simply disappeared. Lost after Lazard’s screams stopped echoing in the lab.

His father and mother helped him get the kids upstairs. They tucked them into bed and then shut the lights, the blackout curtains she had bought just for them hiding the blinking bulbs that decorated the trees of the garden outside.

Then… he was expected to join them downstairs once more. He was expected to want to explore the house, to care about the libraries, or the playroom that used to be a storage basement under the house before technology gave them freezers and fridges. And he did, to an extent, but nowhere near as much as his mother probably had hoped.

He drank some whiskey, even though he didn’t like it, and listened to Cid and his father's conversation on the hunters of the area. He indulged his mother and joined her in her study for a while. She showed him the tree ornament they had made together — what seemed like lifetimes ago now. She stored it in a hidden part of her desk, deep inside one of the drawers. Even now, she hesitated to place it on her own. He listened to her speak about her previous passions, about her love for science — tainted by Hojo and the justifications he had used in the trials some months ago. He listened, and when she started yawning, he was first to ask whether she would rather rest and pick this talk up the coming day.

When he finally fell on the bed — that same bed he had so wished to share with Cloud, he hoped he’d fall asleep instantly. Then tomorrow would come, and with it his partner again.

No such luck, of course. His thoughts were mangled, loud and bright despite the curtains and the earplugs he had at his disposal.

He tossed. He turned. He tried not to think, or when he realized that was easier said than done, he tried to think positively, like the therapists always told him to do. He tried to think about Cloud and his own perspective. The man hadn’t visited his home village in… years. He was no doubt excited to spend some quiet time with his mother too. Every time Claudia visited Midgar, she ended up spending time with the snakes instead of her own son. It made sense that they wanted to be alone.

Not the whole holiday would be like that, he told himself, and the more he thought about it, the more scared he became.

He was under the impression he was stronger than this. Stronger than the man he was now at least, as he gathered the thick blanket and one of the pillows up in his arms and opened the bathroom door, then the one leading to the kids’ room.

He didn’t allow himself to linger on the options. Instead, he moved towards Kadaj’s bed and threw the blanket over him.

“Mom?”

He didn’t reply to that half-coherent mumble. No, instead, he pushed the boy and crawled on the mattress, by his side.

It didn’t take long for the others to notice. Beds got moved together, and before Sephiroth knew it, he had a pile of them all over him, the blankets and their scents mixing in together as he finally allowed himself to sigh and finally, blessedly, managed to get to sleep.

Cloud was not having a good time. Between his mother’s endless questions, the unnerving stares he got every time he stepped out of his house, and Sephiroth’s insistent begging for attention… he felt more stretched thin than ever. More so than any rush period at work, for sure.

Vincent kept giving him those looks, too. Those ‘you better be treating my son right’ ones that Zack kept telling him were instead ‘if you need a break, let me know’s.

He didn’t know which one was true, and honestly, it didn’t matter either.

What mattered was that he felt overwhelmed, and he had no real escape from the holiday onslaught.

The kids kept doing it too. They kept calling his mother ‘grandma’. Lucrecia, he got, even if it wasn’t really a correct term; but he had zero connection to them, unlike Sephiroth’s family. Why then would they ever get the idea to —

“Ya even listening to me?”

He blinked, turning to face Cid. Both of them were sitting in Lucrecia's living room (or one of them, at any rate). The triplets were throwing fits upstairs, after they got spooked by the backyard’s whistling wind. Sephiroth and Vincent were attempting to calm them down — which meant that Cid had to sit there and wait until the latter came back downstairs again. As much a stranger as Cloud.

“What?”

“I said — if you wanna come with me, you can.”

“Oh, uhm.”

Cid had been complaining about this last minute job he had to do since before they even started the drive to Nibelheim. Now, though… he didn’t seem too upset at having to leave for a couple of days. Sure, he seemed anxious, eager to get it over with, but he still didn't complain nor did he ask for any of his coworkers to do it for him either.

“It’s tempting,” Cloud confessed.

“Yeah, I bet. You look miserable!”

Lucrecia and his mom could be heard chatting in the kitchen. The smell of cookies was already flooding the whole house, and the giant teapot they had was starting to whistle along. Holiday songs were playing from the old radio, mixing in with the shouts of the kids from their room.

“Eh,” he remembered to answer. “The girls are arriving tomorrow, aren’t they? Aerith would never let me hear the end of it if I left just as they came.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re known to give a shit about what the girls think.”

“Oi.”

“Fine. Stay here, be miserable and make everyone else miserable around you too. Who gives a shit.”

Cloud bit his tongue as he watched Cid get on his feet. His steps were loud on the wooden staircase as he stomped up to the room he shared with Vincent, probably grabbing his bags for his journey.

He on the other hand… He couldn’t stay here for much longer. He got up, picked up his jacket and keys. He was in front of the door when Sephiroth’s voice carried from the top of the staircase, a question about where he was going turning almost desperate.

Cloud hated that he made Sephiroth sound like that.

“I’ll be back for dinner,” he muttered.

“Will you?”

He bit his tongue. Slowly, he turned his back on the man. “Yeah, I will.”

Sephiroth stayed quiet as the door opened under Cloud’s fingers, creaking with age despite how well-maintained it was. Kadaj started crying, loudly.

Cloud left; the wind outside was sharp against his skin, his knuckles instantly reddening.

He knew he was being an asshole. He was doing what he always did when the dust settled and a routine formed with the people around him.

It had started with Tifa — his first crush, his first love, really. They were young and stupid, and the first time she asked him if he wanted to spend Yule with her and her father, Cloud had gotten so scared he almost threw up.

Then, with Zack. Zack was always… excited for big gatherings. His relationship with his own family had been rocky when they had first met though, so the first couple of years were nice and lonely, spent in bars or small apartments. As he started smoothing things over with them though, Cloud was expected to join him. They wanted to meet him. He was supposed to want to meet them too.

So, after things ended with Zack, he made a point not to take things too far, too seriously. He liked sex, sure, and he liked flirting — with specific people at least — but anything more than that and he was out.

He had no idea what had happened with Sephiroth. He supposed he was just shoved into it, so he hadn’t even realized it when it happened.

Gods. He was literally living with the man, his father, and his three almost-kids — who apparently saw him as family too.

One of the older women sneered in his direction as he passed by the water tower to get to his home. He was gonna wave hello to her truth be told, but after that he kept it to himself.

They never locked their door, so he simply pushed it open. Wasn’t like they had anything valuable for robbers to take — assuming any of those existed in Nibelheim, which they didn't. It was as cold as it was outside, considering his mother hadn’t used the fireplace so far this year (spending too much time at the Crescent's), he went through the hallway and entered his childhood room.

He fell down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

Cid’s rented car passed by outside.

The wind picked up.

Cloud kept wasting time away. His thoughts trailed over those first few days, after Sephiroth took his human form. On the way he had held him, the way he had needed him. Gods, how lucky he had been. One mistake and the man's whole life could have gone terribly wrong. Hells, it almost did — multiple times. He still regularly got that empty, sinking feeling in his stomach when he remembered Sephiroth's confession, through whispered breaths, that he wished he had stayed an animal. A better alternative to whatever it was Cloud was putting him through.

He knew, of course, that that was not truly the case anymore, but… 

His PHS started ringing, and it was only by force of habit that he picked it up — too anxious in case anything happened to Sephiroth or the kids not to.

“What’s up?”

“Where are you, baby? We’re setting the table soon!”

Had it been that long? He hadn’t realized. “Sorry, ma. On my way.”

“Wear two pairs of socks. It might snow.”

He rolled his eyes and got on his feet, unzipping one of his travel bags and picking up that damn box he was too anxious to linger on.

“Sephiroth.”

His father was attempting to grab his attention over the wind. The balcony door had been opened some minutes ago, but he only spoke now, after enough time had passed.

“You’ll catch a cold.”

Sephiroth didn’t object when that long coat was thrown over his shoulders, though he still didn’t take his eyes off the dark woods spreading behind the manor. The kids were all downstairs, as was his mother and Claudia.

Cloud, though…

“Want me to leave you alone?”

He tilted his head at that, his hair moving with the breeze. His father took a step closer, by his side.

“Cid’s gone,” he spoke, and to Sephiroth’s surprise, he didn’t sound sad or angry. Not even resigned, actually. He simply spoke a fact, as if it didn’t matter to him at all.

How he wished his partner’s absence affected him as little.

“I wonder how awkward the next evenings will be. We have been avoiding each other well enough so far with your mother, but now…”

“Do you not wish to be around her?” he asked softly.

“That is not what I am saying.” He shifted, and when Sephiroth turned to him he noticed that he was only wearing a dress shirt and a red sweater above it. “I simply don’t want to overstay my welcome. She specifically fled here to get away from me. From what we had.”

The bedroom inside was dark, a reminder of how long he had spent on his own on the balcony considering it had been much brighter when he first left it behind. He ushered his father in and pretended not to see the goosebumps on his skin. The sudden warmth made him shiver harder than the harsh cold had, personally.

“I do not think she minds your presence,” Sephiroth muttered as he took the coat off his shoulders.

“Maybe. Or maybe she’s indulging you. Either way, I will try to make myself scarce.”

Footsteps made them both turn towards the door — half opened, moaning as it was pushed wider. He had expected one of the kids, though it would still be weird considering how steady the nose had been.

“Cloud,” he said through an exhale, and he felt zero remorse about how relieved he sounded.

“Oh. Uhm. Am I interrupting?”

“No,” his father responded quickly. “We were hiding from the crowd, but it seems my watch has started again.”

“I mean, I can go if you wanna —”

“No, it is alright.”

Sephiroth stood still as his partner walked inside, avoiding his father like he always tended to do. His cheeks were red from the cold no doubt, his chest rising and falling quickly.

“So, uh.”

He didn’t know what to say either, truth be told. “Are you well, Cloud?”

“Me? Yeah, I’m fine. Okay, uh, look.”

Sephiroth looked. His eyes darted down, at where the other’s hands were in his pockets. Both awkwardly pawed over his thighs quickly after, before his right slithered back, and from one of his jacket pockets he took out something. A little box, decorated with red and green ribbons.

“I really don’t think I should give you your gift with your whole damn family around so… here, early Yuletide. Blame Aerith if you hate it, her idea.”

That… was not what he expected. On the contrary, Sephiroth had been dreading these talks ever since they stepped foot in Nibelheim two days ago. Genesis had laughed at his face when he confessed to him over the phone that he was expecting a breakup. Zack and Angeal both agreed, though they were much nicer about it. Glenn had shouted that he'd 'kick the shorty's ass' if he would. Even so — Sephiroth felt the way Cloud slowly slipped away from between his fingers like fresh water in a too fast river. Painfully, surely, leaving behind goosebumps and trembling limbs.

“Just… uh… you know. Keep it away from the kids. It took me a while to find a good deal for it.”

“Cloud?” he asked softly, accepting the gift that was offered to him and untying the decorative ribbons above it. It was small, only a little wider than his palm.

“It’s… uh… Just open it and get it over with, dammit.”

So, Sephiroth opened it.

He did, and then he narrowed his eyes. He was not sure what he was looking at. Cloud seemed to catch it at least, as he slowly took a few steps back and closed the door, the lock loud as it locked.

“I… thank you?” he muttered, picking up the metallic looking object and trying to understand what use he could have for it.

“It’s — look, this is embarrassing. I’ve never tried this kinda shit before.”

Sephiroth tilted his head. He decided to be plain. Cloud had never mocked him for his lack of knowledge before, after all. “What is it, Cloud?”

The other bit his lower lip. His cheeks got even darker. “It’s for, uhm.”

Sephiroth let the box on the side table by the window and picked up the card left on the bottom. His eyes ran over the words for a moment. Then, they quickly jumped up at his partner again.

“Either you or me, you know I’m down for both. But since we both uhm. You know. We both like doing both…”

It was for sex.

It was something just for him and Sephiroth.

Cloud had just gifted him something to make their already exciting intimate couplings even better.

Sephiroth rarely held back when it came to his partner. This time was no excepting, as he rushed forward and grabbed the man by his waist, lips locking onto those warm and chapped ones the moment they could.

“Stop! Dinner almost — mhm!”

“I would be ungrateful if I didn’t try my boyfriend’s gift the moment I have the chance for it,” he said through their mess of tongues and spit.

“Sephiroth, I’m serious, stop it!”

Sephiroth did not stop, no. He did not stop nor hesitate as he took the other’s shirts off and started kissing down his throat, his chest. They fell on the floor, alongside his discarded jacket and his belts.

“The bathroom door is unlocked!” he hissed.

Sephiroth pretended not to hear it.

“Will you show me how to use it, Cloud?” he asked instead, against that pretty blond hair just below his stomach.

“This is insane. I should have waited. I’m so dumb.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” he replied, and then he reached for the nightstand’s drawer, taking out the lube and the pack of condoms.

“Okay, slow down at least,” the other said, and finally pushed himself up on his elbows, one hand coming up and grasping Sephiroth’s wrist. “Whoever tops wears this, okay?”

“I figured, yes.”

“So what do you wanna do?”

“Anything,” he said through an exhale, and it came out even more drawn out than he had meant for it. “Anything for you, Cloud.” He only stopped when he noticed the other’s grimace, his confused arousal obvious from under his pants.

“Your gift. You wear it first.”

“So I get to fuck you?” he whispered against the other’s sweatpants.

“Fuck.”

It was more than a little intoxicating. Cloud pushed him off and then all but ordered him to get on his hands and knees, his quick and smart fingers half-undressing him in record time. Far more potent than his father’s whiskey or Genesis’ wine, Sephiroth could feel his heart beating out of his chest as Cloud spread lube over him, mindful of the blankets underneath them.

“It’s — cold, hold on.”

Sephiroth held on. Curiously, he looked over his shoulder. Cloud was rubbing at the metallic bit almost like a man possessed. His own eyes were on Sephiroth’s body though.

“I got you a shirt too — well, Tifa did really. It would look ridiculous if I gave you nothing during the actual exchange.”

“Cloud,” he whispered.

“Yeah, yeah. Hurrying up.”

And just as he said that, they both froze as Claudia's voice called out from downstairs.

“Dinner’s ready!” she said, and Sephiroth almost collapsed from his disappointment.

“Uh — Yeah, on our way!” Cloud shouted.

To Sephiroth’s surprise though, he didn’t stop. He didn’t pull away, nor did he rush to dress him up again. No, instead, his fingers reached for Sephiroth’s hole and crawled inside, with more momentum than they’d usually use this early on in this endeavor.

“Sorry,” he said when Sephiroth gasped out. “One quick one, ‘kay? For the blowjob you gave me. Payback.”

He couldn’t help his moan, nor the full body shiver that followed after. All of his doctors had told him that his purring seemed harmless, so he didn’t suppress it as he lowered his upper body down on the mattress and stretched, allowing Cloud to finger him for as long as he liked, the feel of those thick ones against his walls all too sweet.

Which wasn’t nearly as long as he’d have appreciated. Still, when they pulled away and the (still quite cold) metal reached his rim, he tensed up.

“Easy. Come on, open up for me. Relax.”

He eased up, exhale long and drawn out.

“There we go,” Cloud praised just as it pushed through, making Sephiroth almost mad with need. “Doesn’t hurt, does it?”

He moved his hips for a second. “No,” he replied, feeling it as he moved to get up. It was… peculiar. Different from Cloud’s fingers or his cock. Not bad, though. He could see the appeal. Though… he wished it was a little longer, but he knew he was just being greedy with that thought.

Cloud fell back on the bed, thighs parting and allowing him easier access. “Come on. Quickly.”

Sephiroth knew how to follow orders, if anything. He lowered Cloud’s pants and underwear and got to work, his fingers lubed up and practiced when it came to opening him up. In his rush, he almost forgot the condom — and Cloud seemed too lost in his own pleasure to notice. No matter, Sephiroth rolled it over his own dick and then pushed against that soft and warm opening, rubbing his tip against it.

“Shit. Come on. They’re waiting for us.”

“Their fault,” Sephiroth said through his next exhale. He threw his head back and clenched up his own hole as he finally breached the other — his breaths ragged and deep already. Gods, it always felt like heaven inside. Warm, tight, perfect.

“Seph — fuck!”

They didn’t have nearly enough time for him to enjoy these first thrusts. So, he pushed his hips forward and moaned as the other’s nails ran down his forearms, leaving marks over the shirt, his chest all flustered and red and so damn pretty. Sephiroth leaned down and closed the gap, his tongue running over a nipple, lapping at it widely, pulling at it with his teeth right after.

“Sephiroth! Cloud! Are you guys coming!?”

Sephiroth’s thrusts sped up. His pants were annoying him the way they had tangled under his knees, but the feeling of Cloud’s tightness mixing in with the toy made it all the more sweet.

“A little higher,” his partner muttered through his own curses, his own almost sobs.

Sephiroth picked up his thighs from under and pushed upwards.

“Fuck! Right there!”

He aimed higher and pushed. Once, twice, three times, as deeply as he could, and that was enough for Cloud to finish, his come spilling over his stomach, hands barely quick enough to gather it before it ran down his waist and onto the blanket.

Sephiroth wasn’t far behind. One or two more pushes, and the vice-grip the other had on him was enough to make him squeeze his eyes and groan his release.

Cloud…  again, seemed quite angry when their gazes locked once more. “This was stupid,” he croaked out.

Sephiroth disagreed. He made it clear as he reached the other’s face and kissed him — ignoring his grunt and complaint.

“Thank you for the gift, Cloud,” he whispered softly.

Cloud… Cloud shoved him away, both hissing as their bodies parted. The toy was still inside him as he watched the other get dressed, righting himself and then rushing to the bathroom.

Sephiroth had no idea how he was supposed to be feeling. Somehow, from high off Cloud’s warmth, he went down low as he watched the man’s back disappear through the door, leaving him a half-naked mess and alone in the bedroom he had yet to truly share with him. Even after their bodies had exchanged heat and more on it for the second time already.

Chapter Text

Cloud woke up with a headache. More than that, he woke up with his mother’s hand on his bicep, her weight settling on the bed by his side.

“What,” he muttered softly, blinking up at her.

“Cloudy… What's wrong? Are you sick?”

“‘Time is it?”

“Way too late for you to be in bed… You didn’t drink yesterday, and as far as I know you went straight to bed after you returned home, so —”

He shifted, turning his back to her and pulling the blanket over a shoulder. It was weathered and old, but it still did its job. It had been doing it for over twenty years now.

“Cloud… come on.”

“What?” he mumbled through a sigh. “Is my time off. I get to sleep in.”

She did not seem to wanna take no for an answer. She huddled closer. It was way too early to be having any kind of talks, but the one she chose made it even worse, waking him up instantly and putting him in a mood. Great.

“Are you about to break up with Sephiroth, Cloudy?”

He froze. Slowly, he turned his head to look at her from over his shoulder.

She seemed… sad. Confused too, but mostly sad.

“Huh?”

“If you are, you know I won’t pressure you to reconsider, but —”

“Ma, what the hells are you talking about?” he asked, pushing himself upright. “Why would you even say that?”

She frowned. “You’re avoiding him.”

“I’m not,” he replied quickly, the petulance in his tone making him cringe with shame. “You’re the one who spends too much time at their place.”

The moment the words were out of his lips, he regretted them. His mother’s mouth opened, her eyebrows dancing up as she grimaced in something way too close to shame.

“No, I mean — you can if you wanna! I just don’t wanna overstep. They’re having family time and all that.”

“Am I… embarrassing you? Is that it, Stormcloud?”

“No!” He shifted again, pushing the blanket down and crossing his legs. “No, not at all! I’m just — I dunno, I just don’t wanna insert myself! You’re friends with Lucrecia, it’s normal if you —”

“Cloud. We both know you and Sephiroth are smitten with each other.”

It was his turn to cringe. “He, uh…”

“Look, we can drop it if you want, but… if that’s not your intention, then you should do something about the… you know. The way you’re acting around him.”

He bit his lip. They had fucked just yesterday, and he was fairly certain it had been pretty obvious when the other had walked down the stairs with his hair a mess and his cheeks still reddened and flustered.

Apparently not, then.

“I don’t wanna break up with him,” he muttered, face dodging her knowing gaze. “I just…”

“You what?”

He fell back against the headboard and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Cloudy… if you’re not serious about this, you should… probably make that more clear. Both he and his kids adore you.”

“They’re not his kids.”

“Yes, they are, and I hate how both of you dismiss that so easily.”

“I just — look, can we have this conversation after the holidays or something? They’re bad as they are!”

She sighed, deeply. One of those that always stuck with him long after their talk was over.

His phone rang, saving him from the hell that was this conversation. His mother offered it from over the nightstand, and he didn’t even bother looking at the number, answering it instantly.

“Hey, good morning!” came Tifa’s cheerful (and suspiciously flirty) voice. “Didn’t wake you or Seph up, did we?”

“No,” he replied, ignoring his mother’s ‘obviously they think you’d be together in bed’ expression as she openly overheard everything. “What’s up? Are you guys here yet?”

“No… we are, uh… kind of stuck. Any chance you got your tools with you? My trusty buddy is showing her age, it seems.”

“Stuck? Where are you?” he asked quickly, looking out the window for the weather. It had rained overnight, the ground muddy and shiny.

“Like… ten minutes from Corel?”

He huffed. “And I don’t have a car. Great. You’ll have to wait for me to walk there.”

“They can call a taxi,” his mother butted in.

“And leave the truck in Corel?” he hissed at her.

“Can’t you borrow Cid’s?”

“He’s not here.”

“The taxi can take you back to the truck and then you drive it here after you fix it up!”

“Ma, slow down.”

“Tell him we’re freezing our butts off here!” Aerith sang through Tifa’s line.

“Just — whatever you do, please, do it quickly, they said it would snow today, so…”

“Yeah. Just, uh. Whatever, call a taxi. I’ll bring your truck in later.”

“Okay! Thank you so much, Cloud!”

He ended the call, and then pretended not to see his mother’s frowning face. He got on his feet and hissed at the cold floors under his socks, going for the bathroom, not because he needed it, but because he really wanted to avoid her. Much like he wanted to avoid Lucrecia and Vincent, truth be told, or Sephiroth and the…

Sephiroth and his kids.

His mother gave up on it soon enough. She prepared a couple of bags from their kitchen, filled with homemade cookies, and then already made her way to the manor, cheerful and upbeat towards everyone despite their outright angry expressions.

Cloud had no idea how she did it. When it was his turn to make the ‘journey’, those five minutes felt like actual torture. It was much later of course, when it was well into the afternoon, after he had made himself a quick sandwich to eat. The only good interaction was when Tifa’s dad waved at him hello, probably because he had gotten the news that he’d be helping his daughter out soon. Cloud knew he was being a bit of a hypocrite there — it’s not like anyone owed him politeness when he himself barely smiled in their direction, but even so.

The triplets were all in the living room, their voices heard since before he even stepped foot through the iron fence. Sephiroth and Vincent were kneeling in front of them, helping them put on their jackets.

“Cloud!” Yazoo exclaimed as Lucrecia opened the door and invited him in. “You’ll come with us, right?”

“Cloud! Tell mother I don’t wanna go!”

“Grandpa, this hurts me…”

Cloud took a deep breath in. Sephiroth glanced at him from over his shoulder, and then…

And then he went back to focusing on the kids.

Which was… the normal thing to do. Which was what he was supposed to do. His mom was right, after all. Kids or not, they depended on him, they needed him, so…

“Where do you not wanna go, Kadaj?” he asked as he approached.

“Village! I don’t wanna explore!”

“And I’m supposed to leave you behind on your own? Both Yazoo and Loz want to go, so you should come with and get it over with.”

“The people are mean!”

“You haven’t met them yet,” Sephiroth replied, fingers pushing away silver locks from Kadaj’s forehead.

“I don’t wanna!”

“Smart kid,” Cloud mumbled. Much to his mother’s annoyance, who snapped at him to be nice. “Look, it’s really not as bad as it seems.”

“You hate it! You said you hate it!”

He cursed his past self there for a few breaths.

“Better?” Vincent asked Loz as he readjusted his jacket. Loz just sniffed again.

“I’ll go — only if Cloud goes too!” Kadaj ended up demanding.

Sephiroth sighed, his head falling for a second before he got up on his feet and turned to look at Cloud. “Well? Will you join us?”

He bit his lip. “I… am waiting for Tifa’s call. They should be here any minute.”

“Tifa and Aerith?” Yazoo asked, his eyes widening, almost sparkling. “Today?”

Sephiroth kept staring at him for a few moments. Cloud’s mom wrapped his neck with a scarf, careful not to mess up his hair.

Cloud was the one to break the contact. He cleared his throat and then glanced down at Kadaj — which didn’t help. He looked exactly like Sephiroth as he also stared, expression unreadable and cold.

His phone rang just in that second, making him let out a louder than he’d like it to be exhale.

“Hey, Teef. You guys almost here?”

Sephiroth held Kadaj’s hand with his left, Loz’s with his right. Yazoo was being held by his father instead, and right by his mother, they walked.

Cloud and his own mother had left a little earlier, to welcome Aerith and Tifa who had just arrived in Nibelheim just before this little… adventure, as they called it, started. It was both a boon and a bane, as Sephiroth attempted to ignore that deep feeling of emptiness that made itself home in his chest.

This was not about him, he tried to rationalize. If it was, Cloud would not have purchased him a gift. He’d not have shared his body’s heat or his lips.

“Mom… I’m cold,” Kadaj whined, his voice getting lower and lower the closer they got to the village.

“Are you wearing your undershirt?” he asked him.

“Yes.”

“And your shirt?”

“Yes.”

“And your second one, the one that Cloud’s mother had woven and given to you?”

“Yes…”

Yazoo jumped in. “You’re wearing your jacket too.”

“And your scarf,” Sephiroth continued. “And your two pairs of socks.”

“I’m still cold!”

“Dad…” Loz muttered softly, his hand squeezing Sephiroth tighter. “Are we there yet?”

“Such drama,” his mother laughed out loud, and when he turned to face her, he was met with nothing but a wide smile and sparkling eyes. “It truly isn’t that big of a deal. I promise you, you will all be fine.”

“Where’s Cloud?” Kadaj questioned — it seemed like he had gotten past his jealousy over him. A small blessing, as now, it was Cloud who tended to avoid them instead.

Sephiroth… understood it, of course. Especially after Glenn had sat him down and asked him just how ‘dating’ worked when Sephiroth had three kids to take care of.

It… didn’t work, he supposed. His father helped a lot, but also… he didn’t exactly date Cloud, did he? They didn’t get out on dates like Genesis, Angeal and Zack tended to do (not that Zack would ever admit it), not like his father and Cid did either. No, Sephiroth and Cloud were different. They shared a bed, they shared intimacy, warmth, and so many bodily fluids, but —

“There we are,” his mother exclaimed. “Nibelheim, in all its glory.”

“Which isn’t much,” his father whispered through a cough.

“The water tower is right there, the center of the village. The house over at the edge is Cloud’s, as you figured when you first arrived I assume. There is a museum right by that path over there — though it is rarely open… I believe Mr Zander has the key?”

“Would they open it just for us?” Sephiroth asked softly.

“Well…”

“I do not see why not,” his father replied after a few moments of his mother’s hesitation. “Assuming we ask nicely. Three kids and an adult who get to explore his history. It sounds worthwhile to me.”

“Right…”

Sephiroth didn’t bother questioning the awkwardness of the exchange. He knew of… the peculiar nature of the people here, and he also knew of his parents’ cold interactions. Instead, he focused on his surroundings, on the buildings and the landscape around — those same ones that Cloud had grown up in.

As if she felt Sephiroth’s eyes, Claudia opened her front door right that second. She was — along, which really shouldn’t surprise him.

“Look who’s gained the courage, huh!” she exclaimed, even more eyes turning towards them at the noise and commotion. “I believe it’s about time for a reward, isn’t it?”

It… kind of worked – on the snakes, at least. Loz and Yazoo perked up, both of their steps a little lighter as they approached. Kadaj was still quite anxious, but he was unwilling to part with Sephiroth’s hand, so he begrudgingly kept up as well.

“Come in! It’s pretty cold outside, isn’t it?”

Sephiroth frowned. He… didn’t truly want to enter. Not without Cloud’s explicit permission.

“Mom?” Kadaj whispered.

“We are not finished with our outing yet,” he spoke, ignoring how both of his parents turned to stare at him. “We were interested in the… museum…?”

“Oh! That old place. I could ask the mayor to open it up for you. Interested in history, are we?” she asked, cheerful as ever as she pinched Yazoo’s cheek. “Or is it maybe the Planetology that interests you?”

Sephiroth blinked.

“Aerith likes Planetology…” Yazoo pointed out.

“She does, doesn’t she?”

“Mom… I don’t wanna…”

He squeezed Kadaj’s hand tighter.

“I wanna go back,” he continued to whisper. Loz pulled away and allowed Claudia to embrace him. “Can we? Please? You want to go back too, right?”

“I do,” he confessed softly.

“Back home? Back in the dark?”

Both of his parents froze up, he knew. His father glanced back at him from over his shoulder, his eyes cold and distant. His mother didn’t dare. Instead, she kept staring away, into Claudia’s home.

“I…”

He did. He wanted to go back. He wanted to stop thinking, to stop begging for Cloud’s eyes, to stop questioning his whole life and future.

“I do,” he muttered in the end. He forced his gaze at his mother’s tense back, at his father’s frowning lips. “Me and Kadaj shall return to the manor. We will see you when you are back.”

“Sephiroth.”

“But dad —”

“If the museum can be opened, give us a call.”

“Sephiroth,” his father repeated again, firmer this time.

He ignored him. He didn’t let go of Kadaj, and he didn’t care for the way the boy whined at how tightly he was held either. Instead, he turned around and walked through the center of Nibelheim once more, by the water tower and straight through the path that would lead him back to the place they called home for the holidays.

Tifa’s truck ended up needing a full oil gasket replacement, which Cloud managed to do on the side of the road where they had parked it. It took him a while, and he was wet from head to toe by the time he was finally finished, but he got the job done, so the drive back to Nibelheim was much more calm than the awkward ride on the taxi he had taken.

The Yule lights were painting the village in a way that he wished to be nostalgic. Instead, all he felt was dread as he parked the truck and walked up to Tifa’s childhood home. Her father opened the door, only to accept them and then inform him that the girls were both at ‘the Crescents’ place’.

Cloud pretended not to notice the sweat that traveled down the side of his face as he walked through the woods to join them. His mother could be heard from outside already, her laughter loud enough to alert him for a moment.

Only for a moment, though. Then, he realized that… he hadn’t heard her this happy in a very long time.

With one final sigh, he knocked on the door, ringing the doorbell when the people inside obviously didn’t hear it.

“Cloud!” Kadaj exclaimed as he opened for him, with Tifa’s help at reaching the higher than normal pommel. “Cloud’s back!”

“He sure is!” Aerith replied from where she was sitting on one of the couches, though she didn’t take her eyes off what she was doing. Her fingers were busying themselves as they braided Sephiroth’s silver hair, the image way too domestic for Cloud’s tastes. “Thank you so much, by the way!”

“Everything okay on the road back? What was it in the end?” Tifa asked as she helped him out of his jacket.

Kadaj held onto his hand the moment he was free of his outer layer of clothing, pulling him closer and closer to the group of people. Vincent and Lucrecia were sitting on opposite sides of the room, one was sipping on his glass of whiskey while the other was softly speaking into Yazoo’s ear, who happily sat on her lap.

“It was nothing too hard to fix,” he assured her. “Don’t worry.”

“Gimme the bill, Strife,” Tifa joked.

He didn’t exactly get a say as Kadaj pulled him all the way to where Sephiroth was sitting, pushing him down next to the man and then jumping onto his lap as well. Cloud grunted, awkwardly smiling up at Vincent who stared at him like he knew a secret or something. When he glanced at his partner, Sephiroth was equally unnerving, his expression unreadable and cold, avoidant.

“So… We went through Nibelheim today,” his ma said, Loz snuggled by her side on the armchair. They barely fit together, Loz was growing far faster than both of his brothers, but he seemed content and happy, and she was always too much of a bleeding heart to shoo him off. “Old Zander was too tired to open the museum up for us, but we’re hoping tomorrow or the day after we’ll go and see that too.”

“How were they behaving?” he asked. “They didn’t cause any trouble, did they?”

“Well…” Lucrecia said.

“What did you do, Kadaj?” he muttered in the boy’s ear, holding him a little tighter.

“Nothing! I wasn’t there!”

He blinked. “‘Course you were. Now spit it out.”

“No, no,” Sephiroth’s mother cut in. “He truly wasn’t. Kadaj was not the culprit this time.”

Cloud blinked.

“It’s okay, truly,” Tifa said through a laugh as she took a seat as well, just across from where her girlfriend was. “It’s only a matter of time before they know anyway.”

“I said I’m sorry…” Loz whispered under his breath, eyes teary already.

“What? Slow down,” Cloud said, and truly, he was getting more questions than answers through this whole exchange. The music was a little too loud for his taste, and the fireplace kept crackling, and Sephiroth hadn’t said a single word so far, and —

“Loz and Yazoo kind of… outed me and Teef,” Aerith finally explained, body leaning to the side to be visible from behind Sephiroth’s broad back. “Asked whether we’ll stay with you guys since you have beds big enough to fit us together…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

Cloud swallowed. He did not actually know that they weren’t out but… he definitely understood. “Does your dad, uh…”

“My dad knows, of course,” Tifa rushed to reply. “Just — you know. He’s not exactly eager to share it with the village.”

“So… marriage isn’t happening here, I guess,” he joked.

“Oh, absolutely not!”

He let himself smile as he watched both exchange those flirty looks between them. He also let himself smile because he realized that he wasn’t the only one with this deep fear of acceptance when it came to these things. Even though almost everyone loved Tifa and her father, not to mention her standing with the village was much better than his…

Maybe he was a bad person for that, but —

“Aerith.”

He snapped his head towards Sephiroth when he heard his voice.

“Are you almost done?”

“Yep!”

“Hey,” Cloud muttered, leaning a little closer. “You okay?”

“Yes. You?”

“I’m fine,” he replied softly.

“Good.”

Aerith pulled her hands back, and Sephiroth wasted no time in getting up. He didn’t even blink nor spare Cloud any glances; instead, he moved past him and Kadaj, past his mother and Yazoo. He disappeared into the kitchen, beyond that wide archway, and then that was that.

The living room didn’t stay quiet for long. Aerith and Tifa huddled side by side now that they had more space. Kadaj struggled and jumped off Cloud’s lap to join Vincent, begging for a taste of his drink. A commercial that was playing on the TV (since when had it been turned on anyway?) was colorful enough to grab the other two’s attention, and his ma started conversing with Lucrecia once more.

Cloud felt heavy, tired and confused. Something was off. They had yet to explain to him just where Kadaj was when they had their tour, too.

Sephiroth was still in the kitchen.

Cloud got onto his feet as well.

He pretended not to feel Vincent’s questioning eyes boring into his back as he approached the archway, and trying to seem as aloof as he could, he entered.

Sephiroth was there, his hip leaning against the counter. He was staring out of one of the wide windows, a glass of… something in his hand. The braid looked stunning on him.

“Seph?” Cloud whispered.

“Yes, Cloud?”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

The other sighed. Cloud had quit smoking a while ago now, and he knew Sephiroth would never actually pick it up willingly, but in that specific moment, all he could think about was just how fitting it would look between his fingers now.

“Yes.”

Cloud approached closer. Slowly, he reached forward and let his fingers trail down his back, a rare opportunity to do so now that his hair wasn’t everywhere.

The other turned to look at him from over his shoulder.

“You look good,” Cloud confessed softly.

Sephiroth blinked.

Truthfully, he expected something there. He expected the other to lunge at him, to grab him by the back of his head and pull him closer, to kiss him or shove him against the kitchen counter.

Instead, Sephiroth just… blinked.

“Gathering’s pretty boring without Zack, huh?” he spoke, just because he couldn’t bear all the quiet.

“I suppose, it is far less loud.”

“Yeah…”

Kadaj shouted out something, his laughter drowning the words out. More cackles followed after. Cloud couldn’t stop staring at Sephiroth.

“Can I, uh…”

He didn’t even know what he wanted to ask himself. Sephiroth was always patient, so it was no surprise when he simply stood still and watched Cloud struggle.

“Can I give you a kiss?”

That was enough to spur him on, at least. Sephiroth’s hands were not exactly rushed, but he’d not call them lazy either as they reached up to Cloud’s cheeks. He leaned down until their lips met, softly pushing against each other.

“I don’t like it when you’re so quiet,” he whispered into the kiss.

“You know what to do to make me more… talkative, Cloud.”

He did. He knew very well at this point. The kids were speaking excitedly, their parents keeping them company. Aerith and Tifa were probably making out on the couch, hidden away from Nibelheim.

Cloud gave in. He leaned closer once more and kissed Sephiroth’s lips, his tongue pushing against his. His right hand slithered down, trailing his waist from over his dress shirt, lower to his waist, his hip, and then eventually —

“Dad! Dad, come see!”

“Sephiroth!” Lucrecia said loudly too. “Sephiroth, you have to look out the window!”

Cloud woke up from this weird daze. He jerked away, arms lifting from Sephiroth’s body, chest rising and falling rapidly from his panic.

“What is it?” Sephiroth asked, his voice serious and monotone as ever — as if he wasn’t nearly as affected.

“It’s snowing!”

Sephiroth kept staring down at Cloud.

Cloud didn’t know how to respond. How to react. How to even feel.

“Look, look! Mom, look!”

Kadaj and Loz came in like hurricanes, both almost stumbling and falling in the process. Cloud managed to catch the two.

“Come on! Let’s go look! I wanna touch it!”

“It’s gonna be cold,” came Vincent’s low voice as he approached too, his arms crossed in front of his chest as he watched. “Wear your jackets.”

“Mom?” Kadaj mumbled under his breath as his brothers rushed back to the living room, their pestering about needing help with it even louder than their excitement. “Please? Can we?”

Cloud frowned.

“Of course,” Sephiroth replied, and for a second, those green eyes actually sparkled.

He looked like a god. If anyone told Cloud that his partner was a descendant of Shiva, he’d have no trouble at all accepting it as fact. He always knew that, always thought such cheesy sentiments to himself (especially so those late nights when he couldn’t fall asleep and ended up staring at that pretty face for hours in the darkness), but now…

Now that the door opened and the kids ran outside and craned their necks up to the sky, Cloud was mesmerized.

Sephiroth’s eyes were watery and wide as he tilted his head back and gazed at the falling snow. Aerith and Tifa beckoned the kids away, towards one of the benches where a thin white layer was forming. His mother and Lucrecia huddled closer from under the door, Vincent and Cloud meanwhile simply… staring.

They stared as Sephiroth blinked up at the clouds. They stared as they watched his breath in the coldness of the air.

“Tomorrow morning everything will be covered up!” Tifa explained to the kids, her hand red from the snow that she had gathered in her palm. “We can build a snowman, or make snow angels in the garden!”

“Snowman…”

“I want to make an angel!” Kadaj exclaimed — all of his shyness disappearing in seconds.

“Okay, let’s wait for morning though,” Lucrecia commented as more and more time passed, all the while Sephiroth stood staring up at the darkness of the winter night. “It’s cold, we should get back inside soon!”

“Grandma is right,” Aerith said. “Let me see — oh!” she joked, her finger touching Loz’s nose and then jerking back in fake shock. “You’re about to turn into ice!”

“No!”

“Okay, easy, do not run on the stairs when it’s snowing. Careful,” Vincent muttered as he finally turned back towards the house, his hands hovering around the kids as he shepherded them inside.

“Seph?” Cloud whispered instead, coming a few steps closer. The other stayed quiet, expression stuck somewhere between serene and confused.

“You guys coming?” Aerith chirped from under the door, and that seemed to be enough to shake him out of it somewhat.

He turned to Cloud, then to the mansion. “Yes,” he replied.

Cloud walked a step behind the man, unsure of how to deal with whatever it was that this was. The warmth of the interior made him let his guard down somewhat, so when he was met with everyone turning to stare at them as they entered, he could do nothing but freeze up in confusion.

“Ooooh — look at that! You guys are under the mistletoe!” Tifa said — and though she was trying, she was not exactly able to hang the piece of greenery on a higher spot than Sephiroth’s head. “You know what you gotta do now!”

Cloud’s lips parted.

“What… what do we have to do?” Sephiroth asked, oblivious to such obscure traditions as he was.

“Kiss!” Aerith exclaimed.

“Eww!” Kadaj shouted. His brothers weren’t far behind.

Cloud… was not proud of his reaction when the other turned to look at him, his eyes wide and questioning as he leaned closer, his mouth inviting and soft looking and so very —

Cloud flinched away, all those eyes around them too overwhelming for him to deal with it.

“Ow, come on, Cloudy!” Tifa complained. His mother laughed. Lucrecia and Vincent let out those awkward little giggles they seemed to be sharing in strained times such as these, and Sephiroth…

Sephiroth straightened up again. His eyes were guarded and serious when Cloud dared to look up at him again. The man simply walked forward, between the parting people, and took a seat on the couch once more.

If there was a way for Cloud to disappear and let the damn Planet swallow him whole, he’d have taken it. Instead, he was forced to join in on their talks once more, and pretend not to feel Sephiroth’s turmoil as they sat side by side.

He knew that… he was being a bad partner. He knew that he was being immature. They shared a bed for months now, and it wasn’t like it was a secret at any point in their relationship. Why, then, did everyone’s expectant eyes scare him that much?

Things slowed down soon enough, at least. A movie managed to captivate the kids enough for them to quiet down and huddle up on the couch. The girls formed their own little group, their whispers soft as to not interrupt the TV’s noise. Vincent was — somewhere, Cloud wasn’t sure.

Sephiroth was pretending to pay attention to the plot too, stiff and silent on the couch next to him. He had that expression, that same one he wore when he was in court or after he spent a little more than usual with Angeal and Genesis, when important and heavy talks obviously lingered in his mind long after they were done.

Cloud didn’t know what to do. How to fix whatever was broken here. He could deal with cars, trucks, motorcycles — but this… this he was completely lost on. Even though he knew, deep down, that it was his fault somehow.

Eventually, it grew too heavy on his heart. He got up on his feet. Sephiroth didn’t even glance at him, as if he expected him to leave soon, which…

He regretted it instantly. Instead of answering with what he was truly planning on down when his mother asked him if he needed anything, he waved her away and walked towards the staircase in the back, not truly knowing just where the downstairs bathroom was so opting to go for the one in Sephiroth’s room instead.

His own face seemed like a stranger’s in the mirror. He splashed some water on it and allowed himself to breathe, slowly, like Aerith always told him to do when these moments caught up to him.

Gods. He was so far gone, he actually took out his phone and hovered over Zack’s number for a second. Instead, he got to his senses and sent a message. The man was most likely with Genesis and Angeal at this hour if he wasn’t out on a delivery, so he’d rather not make his insecurities and fears known to them too. They already knew too much from Sephiroth’s side anyway.

‘I’m letting him down. I think I’m fucking up and I don’t know how to fix it,’ he typed out, turning to walk out of the bedroom.

Voices from the hallway outside made him freeze up, his eyes widening.

“I truly don’t know why you would think that,” Vincent was saying, his voice even lower than usual, quiet as to not be overheard no doubt.

“I… had to blame someone,” Lucrecia replied, her voice fragile and weak. “I am glad I was wrong.”

“It is over now. He’s okay.”

“He is, yes.”

“I’m sorry, Lucrecia. For everything.”

“No need for such words. We’ve both had —”

For a second, everything felt peaceful. For a second, nothing but compassion could be heard through their voices, pain subsiding and leaving them behind naked and raw.

And then Kadaj shouted something — a complaint about someone passing in front of the TV screen. It was enough to make the two rush downstairs again, and that gave Cloud the opening to return by Sephiroth’s side too.

Sephiroth’s side, which felt incredibly cold and lonely still.

“Hey, Seph?” he mumbled a little later, when more booze had come out and the girls were busy kissing, the boys all too tired to boo at them.

Sephiroth sighed. He shifted. He had still yet to relax, his eyes distant as they stared away, somewhere to the side of the screen.

“Sephiroth?” I love you, he wanted to say, but with the kids so close by, his mother and Sephiroth’s parents just across the living room…

“Is it time for bed, Kadaj?” Sephiroth asked before he could continue. All three of the kids grumbled something, huddling closer and closer together. Loz kicked Tifa’s thigh in the process. “I think it is. Let’s go.”

Cloud watched as his partner got on his feet with two boys in his arms. Vincent was quick to get up and grab Yazoo right after, their footsteps slow and steady on the old wooden staircase.

“Cloud?”

He flinched, turning to face his mother as she took a seat right by his side, where Sephiroth had been sitting.

“Are you feeling well?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he mumbled under his breath. Aerith and Tifa were pretending not to overhear them, their own talk getting a little louder to drown them out. Lucrecia got on her feet, moving to the kitchen.

“You can go, if you wanna. It’s getting a bit later than usual for you, isn’t it?”

He couldn’t help the way he grimaced, lips pulling at the side as he averted his gaze. He had been kind of a buzzkill, hadn’t he?

Vincent returned soon enough, just in time for his phone to ring. He picked it up and walked away towards the hallway.

“I’m fine,” he muttered in the end. “I’ll stay a little longer, I think.”

His mother’s smile was bright, her blush from the wine she had been drinking with Lucrecia making her feel even warmer than she usually did. “Okay!”

“Claudia! Did we leave the big pot at your place or am I simply not seeing it here?” came Sephiroth’s mother’s voice from the other room.

“The big one or the medium one? What are you trying to do?”

“I want to prepare the chestnuts for tomorrow!”

“Now?” She got up to move to the kitchen, pausing to pat Cloud’s cheek a few times. “Come, sit down! We can do that all tomorrow!”

The TV was still on as Cloud waited. Aerith and Tifa turned to him, made some small conversation about the weather, about the scare they had gotten earlier in the day when the kids outed them in front of all of Nibelheim. His phone buzzed with a message — making him hold his breath for a second as he checked it. It was only a selfie of Zack — drunk out of his mind — half out of frame, the rest of it being Angeal and Genesis, both fast asleep on a couch that very much did not fit them both.

Sephiroth still didn’t return. Cloud knew the kids could be tricky when it came to falling asleep, especially so in new environments, but… they had been sleepy on the couch already. There was no way he was still being pestered to stay as they dozed.

Part of him didn’t want to do it. He didn’t want to make it so obvious that he was only there for Sephiroth, so clear that he’d rather be alone with him.

In most situations, in most relationships, he wouldn’t.

In this one, he got on his feet, ignored the girls’ comments about him being needy, and walked up the staircase.

Slowly, careful not to stomp too loudly before he undid all of Sephiroth’s work at making the kids fall asleep, he walked through the long hallway and reached their bedroom door. He didn’t bother knocking, slowly turning the pommel and then taking a peek inside, through the pitch black.

All three of the kids were there, on their beds (which were suspiciously close together). Sephiroth was not, though. Cloud frowned, and with a soft whine the door clicked shut again.

He was less careful as he walked the few steps required to get to Sephiroth’s bedroom, opening the door and squinting as he realized that it was empty. The bathroom door was ajar when he stepped closer and took a look. No tall, silver haired man to be found there either.

With another frown, he looked around.

It was a good thing that he had all that experience with the mako puddle, because if his eyesight wasn’t this good, he’d have missed it. As it was though, he did catch it. He caught the footsteps that had formed just on the edge of the balcony, slowly being covered by newer snow that flew sideways from the soft wind.

He didn’t have his jacket with him, so he grabbed Sephiroth’s coat instead. It was way too long on him, but for just a second, it would have to do.

The cold air hit him instantly, and with his teeth gritted, he curiously looked around. The marks were fresh, fading by the second. The Yule lights that decorated the trees of the backyard lit up second after second, and —

And Cloud’s eyes widened, his heart sinking as he realized there were more. Starting right under the balcony, and then trailing off into the woods, away from the manor.

He didn’t think. He didn’t even stop to consider asking for help. Instead, he pushed himself up from the railing and jumped off, wincing at the weight his legs had to endure so suddenly. Even so, the adrenaline and fire that suddenly ran through his veins made it inconsequential, his hand rushing to take out his phone from his pocket — under the coat — as he followed the dragging footsteps. The light helped, his breaths visible in front of his face as more snow fell from the sky, between the tree branches above him.

“Sephiroth!” he shouted — and for a second he got flashes of what this could end up turning out to be; of a man missing, of two parents frantically searching again. “Seph! Where the fuck are you going?!”

Nobody answered him. Cloud’s breaths sped up even more, his whole face hurting as the cold hit him head on, the dark coat getting heavier by the second from the snow it dragged and soaked.

“Sephiroth!”

At least the tracks were still visible, he tried to tell himself. He rushed through the woods and ignored the noise of the bushes all around him, the howling wind that slid through the trees. Instead, he could only pay attention to the line he was following, large dress shoes leading him farther and farther away from Nibelheim and towards —

He froze when he saw the shoe. He blinked. Nothing but despair filled his middle, and then even more panic as he found the second, then a pair of dress pants, a shirt, and then eventually.

He hadn’t even realized he had run so far away from the village, he was walking past mako puddles. The smell caught up to him now that he stopped running and took deep and uneven breaths. Acidic, fresh, burning hot.

His eyes dragged further up. Over the shirt, over the undershirt, the vest, and then to…

“Sephiroth?”

He didn’t dare approach. Despite knowing, deep down, that the animal he saw staring off into the darkness, its small back and floppy ears staring directly at him, he was still too scared he’d spook it away.

“Seph?”

No response, no reaction.

It was small. Smaller than a cat, smaller than the snake that had decided to climb up Cloud’s leg, back in Aerith’s garden before the summer had even started.

It was white, too. Bright as Cloud’s phone shone light on its fluffy fur.

“Please, tell me it’s you,” he croaked out, and then the snow crunched under his feet, one step after the other carrying him closer. He picked up the clothes as he did, and when he finally reached the animal, he could do nothing but sigh in relief when it glanced towards him and showed him two bright green eyes.

“Gods fucking damn it, Sephiroth,” he said through a sob, and instantly he knelt on the ground and picked him up. “What the fuck are you doing?”

He couldn’t talk, of course. Adorable like an average snow bunny (or maybe even more, so much fluffier and cuter), it simply stared up at him and sniffed him, those big ears twitching this way and that as Cloud carried him away from the mako puddles. He tried to shield him from the cold by holding him tight against his chest, but he could only do so much. Both were wet from head to toe, and the snow kept coming, and —

“I can’t just get you back home,” he muttered, and was not surprised in the least when the bunny (his boyfriend?) actually shifted in his arms, shoving his fluffy face against Cloud’s chin. “They’ll freak out!”

Besides, how the hell was he supposed to explain it? Yes, Vincent and Lucrecia would understand, but the kids would panic — worse yet, they’d get ideas that they really shouldn’t get!

He changed his path the more he thought on it.

“Let’s hope you won’t catch a damn cold,” he whispered, and then he set out to get home. To his own home. It would not be as comfortable as the manor, but he could find an excuse and hide there for the night.

The door was unlocked, as it always was. Cloud didn’t even turn on the lights as he rushed through the small living room, barely any warmth meeting him as he let the freezing cold clothes fall on the floor of his childhood bedroom.

“Stay,” he muttered as he left the bunny on his bed and pulled the blanket over him, wiping him down quickly.

Then, he pushed the coat off his own shoulders, kicking his shoes off and throwing his socks and pants aside.

“You better be a damn man when the sun comes up, you hear me?” he said as he took out his phone and started typing a message to Tifa already.

‘Hey, can you cover for us? We’re at my place.’

The other responded almost immediately, which only meant that their absence had been noted already.

‘What? When did you leave?’

‘Look, uh. The kids’ room being close was a turn off,’ he lied, and then prayed Tifa wouldn’t read these things out loud to Sephiroth’s parents as they were sent. ‘I’ll bring him back tomorrow, I promise.’

He took off his shirt and hissed at the cold, all of his hair up at attention. Sephiroth peeked out from under the blanket, his little mouth and nose moving in that weird bunny way that they usually did.

“Vincent didn’t kill me for sleeping with you, but he will kill me if he finds out we’re not actually fucking right now too, just so you know.”

The bunny simply stared.

Another message came through. Cloud quickly checked it.

‘Okay! Your mother says to light the fireplace then!’

That… was not a bad idea. Another thing to add on his to-do list. A to-do list that kept getting bigger and bigger, as he realized that he’d have to justify why he didn’t grab his own jacket before leaving.

“Gods fucking dammit, Sephiroth!”

Sephiroth moaned, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he snuggled closer to Cloud, who despite his height still managed to eclipse him as they curled around each other.

He was cold, truth be told. His throat hurt, and he had a buzzing headache orbiting his mind.

Cloud had claimed that he had ‘gone and caught a cold by literally crawling through the snow’, earlier, when they had woken up with their legs tangled and a blanket that was just a little too short to cover over both their bodies

Cloud had pretended to be grumpy as he got up (hissing in the process) and grabbed another one from his wardrobe.

He pretended to be grumpy now too, as he grasped Sephiroth’s cock and with a hand that was just a little too cold, stroking it up and down.

They hadn’t spoken since Zack’s consecutive messages that woke them up, his confusion about something Cloud had sent him beforehand. They hadn’t said a thing. Only moans, kisses, and grunts were exchanged. Sephiroth was used to it by now. He knew not to expect much, so even just this was sweet honey, sticky and addictive. He’d not turn it down, no matter his physical condition.

Truthfully, Sephiroth had shifted and pushed his body against Cloud’s because of his warmth,. Under sleep’s heavy weight, with the man that he loved’s scent all around, he didn’t truly think too much as he rubbed as much of his body as he could against him.

Cloud took it in a different way, it turned out. Not that Sephiroth complained. Far from it, he arched his back and allowed the other to bite at his neck, his nape, his shoulder, fully trusting him behind his back as they struggled to fit on the small bed.

Small or not, it felt closer to home than any other now. Cloud was himself, and Sephiroth was all too happy to let him manhandle him and touch him wherever he liked.

“What the fuck was your plan anyway?”

Sephiroth whined, his hips stuttering as he fucked against Cloud’s grip with his eyes still tightly shut.

“Seriously, I don’t get you sometimes!”

“Likewise,” he muttered through a moan.

“Huh?” he asked, and to Sephiroth’s disappointment he stopped his movement right after. He continued soon though, with renewed energy too, knowing how to twist his wrist to make Sephiroth’s eyes roll back in his head. “What?”

“I do not understand whether you want to be with me or whether you are ashamed of me,” he confessed plainly. “One day, you let me give you pleasure, the next you refuse to even hold my hand. One you let me fuck you, the next you flinch away from my kiss.”

“Sephiroth…”

He moaned again, hips working in tandem with that skilled hand as he chased it. “I’d understand it if you were scared of being seen with a man, as Aerith and Tifa are afraid to be seen together as women, but you rarely had these issues before.”

“It’s complicated, dammit!”

“Explain it to me, then,” Sephiroth begged, Cloud’s breath speeding up enough against his nape to be felt through his hair. “Please, tell me what you want of me.”

“Right now I want you to come because I feel like I’m gonna die if I wait any longer, to be honest.”

“Make me, then,” he dared.

He got his wish soon enough. Cloud was good, after all. He knew what to do. He knew where to bite, when to praise Sephiroth for doing so well, how to kiss the nail scars he had on his back — those same ones he himself had left.

When he finished, neither of them cared about the stain that would be left on the bed under them.

Sephiroth inhaled deeply, a cough just starting to crawl up his throat the longer he let himself relax.

“Seph.”

No matter how exhausted and cold though, he knew that he wanted to help the other too. He shifted, and finally he took a better look at his partner’s face, the blush that painted his upper body and ears.

“Can I? I promise I’ll be quick.”

“Cloud,” he said through a sigh. “Please.”

“I wanna… can I try, uh…” He gave up quickly enough, obviously not sure how to phrase it. That was okay, though. Sephiroth was intrigued enough to follow along as he got on his knees and threw one leg over his chest , straddling him. “Yes or no?” he asked, his right hand reaching for his own naked cock and rubbing at the head quickly.

Sephiroth wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but he would be a fool to turn Cloud down. He nodded, and then attempted to straighten up somewhat, only for a hand to reach his left shoulder and push him down again.

“I’ll be quick, just give me a second.”

“You can take a lifetime or nine, I’d still wait,” he muttered, and he wasn’t sure whether Cloud’s shiver was good or bad.

Whatever it was, the other moved closer, his cock rubbing against Sephiroth’s chest, between his breasts.

Oh. Now he understood, somewhat.

“I thought you’d disappear yesterday, you know that?”

Sephiroth blinked. It was a pain, having to drag his gaze away from the sight that was his partner fucking his chest, but he knew this was important. He looked up at Cloud instead, at those mako-blue angry eyes.

“Do you know how fucked up we’d all get? How horrible it would be for your parents?”

“I was planning on returning,” he defended himself with.

“What if you fell into the mako after turning into a damn bunny?” Cloud asked, his hips moving as he pushed his cock harder down. “What if you got lost? What if Tifa’s dad was out hunting?”

“Hunting at this hour?”

“You don’t know what kinda weirdos Nibelheim has raised!”

“I know it has raised you — and you found me. You sheltered me. You accepted me as I was…”

Cloud moaned, his eyes squeezing shut tightly. “I’d never forgive you if you left.”

Sephiroth’s lips parted. “I’d forgive you if you left.”

The noise of kids shouting was easy to catch through the old windows and the wooden doors. Familiar kids at that, Kadaj begged for Sephiroth, for his mother, as Aerith tried to calm him down. Loz and Yazoo were also asking to see him.

Cloud caught them too. He rutted forward harder, and he moaned and he cursed under his breath, but he really only finally finished when Sephiroth reached up with his hands and grasped his hips, pushing his chest upwards and offering a deeper crevice for him to fuck.

The front door opened as come slid down Sephiroth’s neck, staining the pillow and the blanket both. Cloud rushed to get down under the covers again.

“Where?! I won’t brush my teeth unless he’s there!” Kadaj whined.

“Good morning to you too,” Claudia mocked and — had she been there all this time?

“So sorry, Mrs Claudia,” Aerith replied, her footsteps quick as they ran after the louder ones the kids made as they ran straight for Cloud’s door, and for a second Sephrioth panicked, his eyes widening as Cloud hid them both from view with one of the blankets.

“Here, daddy’s right — oh fuck!” Aerith exclaimed when she opened it.

Loz actually giggled at her curse. Kadaj instead gasped. Yazoo must have been too stunned to react one way or another.

“See!? Mommy’s fine, playing with daddy! It’s all good!”

“Daddy?” Cloud hissed out as the door closed shut again, rushed and with enough strength to make the hinges crack.

“Daddy,” Sephiroth confirmed, and since they were finally face to face, he leaned closer and kissed the other on those plump lips of his.

“Don’t ever call me that again,” Cloud warned right after, but he dove back in for another round.

Claudia offered them breakfast from the kitchen. Cloud’s phone rang, his father’s number flashing on the screen. Sephiroth was forced to answer it — and after not even a finished word the other pointed out that he “got a cold. You sound sick. I’ll bring you some warmer clothes if you’ll be staying at Claudia’s”.

“Seriously, what the fuck was the plan?” Cloud whispered after they had sneakily cleaned up. The door stayed closed, but the kids had accepted Aerith’s offer to go and explore Tifa’s childhood home with her and Claudia, so the house was empty, all for them. “Did you want to catch that damn fever?”

Sephiroth shrugged as best he could. Warm, or rather, warmer, with fresh clothes and Cloud in his arms, he didn’t feel too bad now. “I simply got tired of my thoughts,” he confessed softly.

“Huh?”

“I do not… enjoy over-analyzing everything; contrary to what Genesis might tell you. Ever since we stepped foot in Nibelheim… I’ve been having some not very pleasant thoughts. I needed them drowned out.”

“So — what? You just jumped off the balcony and turned into a damn rabbit?”

“A snow bunny,” Sephiroth corrected. “And yes. That's what I did. It was a better alternative to coming down and finding your spot empty again…”

He expected Cloud to react in a bad way. He expected him to be shoved off, for a phone to ring or for the world to decide to take his attention away again. What he didn’t expect was the apology that came after.

“I… am bad with this kinda shit, you know that,” Cloud whispered softly. “I’m bad at being an adult. Bad at being… you know. What you need me to be for the kids. I’m sorry.”

“Cloud,” Sephiroth rushed to say, leaning closer, pushing his forehead against the other’s. He was burning hot. “All I need you to be is what you’ve already been. Less, if that is exhausting you. I just want you in my life.” Every word felt like a declaration of love, a knife given freely for the other to use if he’d like to. “I told you before. I want you to do whatever you want with me, to me. Just… please, be in my life. Leave if you want, travel, work — but please, do not leave me in your past. I cannot stand the thought.”

The other stayed quiet for a little while. His right hand came up, fingers ran through Sephiroth’s hair, pushing it out of his face as they embraced. “I don’t wanna disappoint you…”

“You could never,” he pushed. “You simply have to be you. You don’t need to hold my hand or kiss me in public if you do not want that. I just want to know that you want to be there — that you’re not thinking of leaving me…”

“I’m not,” Cloud said finally, and then he shifted a little closer. “I’m not leaving you. I promised I’d be right by your side, every step of the way, right?”

Sephiroth could weep at the words. He lowered his face and all but swooned at the kiss that was placed on top of his forehead, over his hair.

“But if you turn into an animal and run away in the middle of the night like that…”

Sephiroth laughed at that. He shook his head. “Please, do not tell Genesis or Angeal. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Speaking of, how the hell is your transformation so much smoother than theirs? I’ve never even noticed it happening, and theirs end with blood and discarded limps.”

Right. He was present through all the trials. He’d know such details now, even if he never started speaking about them first.

“Hojo always boasted about me being a success and them a failure.”

Cloud winced.

“Let us not talk about him, though,” Sephiroth continued, just as the other finally coughed, dry and painful from the middle of his chest. “I think I hear your mother and Kadaj approaching. I do wonder what the museum actually has to show. Do you think the mayor found the key?”

Cloud snorted then. The door of the house opened, footsteps growing louder. “Probably not.”

“I cannot wait to return to Midgar,” he whispered, just as the kids rushed up to them — grimacing faces be damned as they joined them on the bed.

Yule was… a complicated tradition, he figured in the end. He enjoyed the companionship, he enjoyed the food and the sleepovers, as they called it, that they all shared. It got even louder, even more exciting when Cid finally returned and got to enjoy the holidays too.

His father and mother spoke more. They laughed, they even shared a dance, not before everyone had gathered and alcohol had been exchanged for more than a couple of hours.

Cloud… stayed. He still was too hesitant to share touches, to kiss under the mistletoe, but he stayed.

Well, part of it was that both of them ended up getting that fever, so he barely had the energy to get out of bed. But, even without that, when they got better, he stayed, and he ate with them, much like he was so used to doing back in Midgar.

His first Yule — he didn’t remember. He had no memories of his mother's parents, of this spacious manor, of the libraries or the food. Mako had devoured too much of his life; mako and madmen in lab coats, with blood on their hands and syringes between their fingers.

So, he hoped that this Yule he'd never forget. Even though he spent most of it with shivers, emotional or physical ones. Even though Cloud kept being distant and aloof when in front of company. Sephiroth knew now, and he cared little about what everyone else thought. As long as his partner held him at night and allowed him some of that warmth; that was all that mattered to him.