Archive of Our Own ^beta

Naruto was, for lack of a more elegant term, off.

There was really no other way to put it.

It’d been going on for a little while. On a mission you wouldn’t be able to tell. He was his usual loud, (though slightly less loud since his training trip) energetic, optimistic and determined self.
But as soon as he got home there was a noticeable … shift.

The first time Shikako noticed, it wasn’t much more than the slightest hesitation to join her and Sasuke at the Nara residence for dinner after a mission. A time honored Team 7 tradition. The only reason Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t at least stop by was because he was due for a stay at the hospital.

Again.

She didn’t think too much of it, and it ended up being nothing anyway. She wasn’t even sure if Sasuke noticed. The second time however, it was a straight up refusal.

Well not quite a refusal, per se. More of a polite “I’m actually kinda tired so I think I’ll just head home,” But still very much out of the norm.

She knew he was lying by the way that he smiled.

When Naruto smiled, he smiled like the sun. Even when he was exhausted, it always reached his eyes. When he faked it though, it couldn’t be more obvious.

Sasuke definitely noticed this time. But they both silently agreed to leave it be. Sometimes people just need a little alone time, after all. Naruto wasn’t exactly exempt from that. It just didn’t come around for him as often as it did for someone like Sasuke or Kakashi-sensei.

The third time though, was a serious cause for concern.

The mission had called for more than just team 7, or team Kakashi as they’d been rebranded after Naruto returned. Whoever was behind that decision must’ve thought relieving them of their title would make their missions together less likely to rewrite maps and awaken ancient eldritch evils.

They were mistaken.

And so it was that at the end of a month-long mission, that honestly went better than expected (by their standards), a group of six ninja strolled in through the gates on five pairs of legs. Naruto, Sasuke, Shikako, Sakura, Kakashi and Tenzo.

“I’ll drop him off at the hospital and meet you four at the tower for debrief,” said Tenzo, a limp Kakashi dangling off his back.

“Sure thing,” Shikako responded as he took off. “Honestly, I thought we were done with this after we fixed his eye problems,” She pouted.

“If anything it feels like he might’ve gotten worse,” Sasuke said.

“Don’t even joke like that,” Said Sakura. “The last time we tried to fix him, we almost got sucked into a black hole,” She shuddered. “After all that trouble, his eye better be as fixed as it’s gonna get.”

“Actually,” Shikako began, “It isn’t so much a black hole, as it is a portal to another dimension,”

“You guys still haven’t told me the whole story behind that by the way.” Naruto jumped in.

“It’s a long one. TL;DR Kakashi-sensei’s eye was killing him, so we had to open a black hole in Sasuke’s basement to save him.”

“You just said it wasn’t a black hole,” Sakura pointed out.

Shikako shrugged, as Naruto in a hushed tone asked Sasuke what TL;DR meant.

Sasuke in turn shrugged as well.

During their walk to the tower, Shikako suggested getting Ichiraku’s for dinner after the debrief. Naruto, to her quiet horror, … declined.

He declined ramen.
Naruto declined ramen.

If there was ever a red flag…

Sasuke and Shikako met one another's' eyes and came to a silent agreement.

Something needed to be done.

After the debrief, which had also gone better than expected (again, by their standards), they left the tower and everyone split up to start heading home.

Shikako caught Naruto’s arm. Just as he’d started walking in a direction, she noticed in the back of her mind, that would not have taken him to his apartment.

“Hey,” She said gently. “Is everything okay Naruto?”

He stopped for a moment, a confused look on his face. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You just seem a bit…” She struggled to find the right word.

Sasuke, who had also stayed behind, had no such trouble. “Sad,” He said.

Naruto flinched near imperceptibly. But then he ‘smiled’. “Are you kidding? I’m fine guys really! Just a little tired from traveling ya know?”

It was almost perfect. The way his hands relaxed behind his head as he spoke. The energy in his voice. That trademark squint of his. But his smile gave him away as always. Without that flaw Naruto’s a surprisingly good actor, Shikako thought. The fact that he felt like he had to act made her sad in ways she wasn’t prepared for.

“Okay,” she said, ignoring the subtle sting she felt at being shut out. “Just remember if something ever is wrong … you can talk to me,” she looked over at Sasuke. “To both of us.”

“I know that,” He said it like it was obvious. Which … yeah, you would think wouldn’t you? “But I’m fine guys, really,” He ‘smiled’ again. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Right, see you tomorrow.”

He left.

Shikako and Sasuke took a look at each other.

And they followed.

They stuck to the rooftops, employing stealth tactics just shy of the anbu they actually were. Only ever a few blocks away from him at most. Eventually he stopped at a familiar location just outside the academy.

Shikako recognized it as the swing.

THE SWING.

In the Before it was his favorite spot to sulk when he was upset, and it showed up so often in flashbacks it basically became a meme.

She realized, belatedly, that she had never seen him here. The famous image of a sad boy sitting alone on a swing in front of a crowd was seared into her brain. But as far as she knew she’d never personally witnessed it, nor really anything like it. Not since they’d become friends.

But then again, she’d never actually seen what Naruto did when she wasn’t around.

Sasuke was markedly less surprised. The look on his face, though faintly sad, said something along the lines of ‘Oh, it’s one of those days again.’

“Whenever you were sick back in the Academy,” He began, “he’d always end up here during recess. And occasionally when you’d leave with your brother at the end of the day.” He looked back at Naruto with concern.

This is where he goes when he’s feeling lonely.

"But, I'm right here," She said lamely. "We're right here, asking him to hangout."

In the Before he had, or at least felt like he had, no one else to turn to. His isolation was never self imposed.

But this time around he had people. Not just people who would tolerate him either, but people who actively wanted him around.

Naruto, generally speaking, was not the type to wallow. Not when a problem could be so easily solved.

The only reason he'd be here now is if like in the Before he felt he couldn't go to anyone. And the thought of that …

Hurt.

Sasuke gets a pensive look on his face. "But we're not the ones that he misses."

At Shikako's furrowed brow he continues. "Usually being around friends helps," He admits. "But sometimes… sometimes it just makes it worse."

"Makes what worse?" She had an inkling she knew 'what', but asked anyway.

"... coming home to an empty house."

Even when they had sleepovers and long missions. No matter how they prolonged their time spent together. Eventually, Naruto and Sauke would have to go home. And there would be nobody there waiting for them.

Shikako had known something like this could happen. It was actually one of her biggest concerns when she first began inviting her team of orphans to her family's home for dinner. That trying to share her metaphorical wealth would only serve to remind them of what they didn't have, that they couldn't walk through the front door and say "tadaima" and be surprised if no one said "okaeri".

She expected it from Kakashi and Sasuke, the ones who had made it a point to keep close relationships to the absolute minimum. Out of fear of losing more or the misguided belief that they didn't need anyone else.

But Naruto was different. He was always eager for connections. No matter how small. And she knew from Before that he'd hold on to those connections with a death grip if pushed. Having said that, this avoidance thing he was doing really caught her off guard.

Shikako watched her sullen teammate with furrowed brows. Was there really nothing she could do for him?

"What would help you?" she immediately regretted asking. Because she already knew his answer would be: "to be left alone."

"But Naruto's not me," he added.

That doesn't help much, Sasuke.

She was blowing this out of proportion, she reasoned. Naruto was entitled to not want to spend time with them.

Only it's not about us, it's the opposite.

It's about the family he missed dearly despite never knowing them. But there was really nothing they could do about that because they weren't his family.

She should just leave it be, she thought. Naruto will deal with it and eventually get back to his bright cheery self.

He was strong.

He'd be fine.

But… her brain interrupted. Naruto declined ramen. Ramen from Ichiraku's.

Like hell was she just gonna ignore this.

***

"Tadaima," A Soft voice echoed from the foyer.

Expecting the usual silence, Naruto didn't even open his eyes as the door shut behind him and he slipped off his sandals.

But after a brief moment … “Okaeri.”

Naruto's head shot up in surprise, his sense of smell suddenly picking up a comforting and familiar scent wafting through the apartment.

Then he noticed not only his own sandals by the door, but two other pairs as well.

Slowly, carefully, he rounded the corner of the tiny foyer to find one of his teammates at his stove, stirring a huge boiling pot of ramen. Looking for all the world like she lived here.

“Shikako?”
Before he could ask more questions a flush was heard from the door to his bathroom. And shortly after his other teammate came sauntering out, looking for all the world like he lived here too.

“Sasuke?!” Naruto shouted, “What're you doing in there?!” He said.

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he closed the door behind him. “What do you think dobe? Or did you want a number?”

“Gah! You know what I mean! And you too Shikako, why are you guys here?” he asked, a little less loud with the shadow user.

The girl in question shrugged. “We're always having dinner at my place or Ichiraku's. I figured this would be a nice change of pace.”

At his continued bewildered look, she shrank in on herself a little. Her eyes found her feet and she was suddenly not so confident in this idea of her's. There was no point if all this would do was make him uncomfortable.

“If you want us to leave then-"

“No!”

She chanced a look at him and the confusion on his face had given way to something else. Something more vulnerable.

“No,” he repeated, after a brief silence. “You guys can stay… if you want.”

It was a bit more tentative than she'd wanted. But she'd take it.

She looked back to the boiling ramen on the stove and started tending to it again. So far this had been more… awkward than she'd imagined in her head. But it was going well enough she supposed.

Around 10 minutes or so later, the three of them sat around Naruto's small kitchen table enjoying their meals making rather stilted attempts at conversation. It left a gnawing feeling in her gut.

Any other time, Naruto would be gesticulating wildly as he talked about whatever happened on their last mission, in between exchanging barbs with Sauske, while Shikako rolled her eyes and chimed in with the occasional witty/insightful comment.

Today was different though, and it wasn't just the change in setting. It felt distinctly like some kind of boundary had been crossed, or perhaps was in the process of being crossed. For better or worse, Shikako couldn't tell, but the longer the silences became, the more she was leaning toward the latter.

Just as she was mentally getting ready to write this whole thing off as a mistake, Naruto spoke up.

“You guys didn't have to do this, ya know,” he said, far too quietly. “I told you I was fine.”

“We didn't believe you.”

Sasuke, the master of tact as always.

Shikako sighed heavily. “Naruto, you know we're here because we want to be… right?” she said. “We're not just doing this out of pity.”

“Yeah, I know that…”

Shikao took a steadying breath. It was now or never. “Good,” she said. “And you should know… I'm not just doing this out of pity either.”

Slowly, she pulled a small velvet box out her sleeve. “I've actually been meaning to do this for a while now.” She weighed it in her hands for a moment before putting it on the table in front of him.

Sasuke's eyebrows rose ever so subtly, remembering a similar situation from some time ago.

Naruto's brow furrowed. “What's this?” he said. His hand hovering over it slightly before picking it up.

He opened it to find two silver stud earrings glinting away at him.

His breath hitched.

“When I got promoted, as part of a clan tradition,” she explained. “I was given a new set of earrings by Sensei. And then I got promoted again, and Sasuke gave me a set.” She nervously tapped away at the table as he spoke. Looking neither boy in the eye for long.

“I gave him my old, genin earrings. But when you came back I realized I never got you anything when you made chunin so…” she trailed off.

Naruto held the studs in his hand with something akin to awe in his eyes. Before he could speak though, Shikako kept talking.

“I didn't want you to feel left out,” she started. “But… there's also more to it than that.”

Sasuke's brow furrowed this time. Confused with her nervousness. “Shikako?”

Another steadying breath. She could do this, she wanted to do this.

“Sasuke,” she began. “When I gave you those earrings… I told you they didn't really mean anything, and that much is true. In the eyes of the clan they technically don't afford you any kind of… um…”

What word was she looking for? Protections? Benefits?

“The point is that the clan doesn't recognize this as anything significant, but I've decided that I do.” Her tone began to harden with resolve. “And if those earrings are going to mean what I want them to, then it's only fitting that Naruto has a pair of his own.”

One more deep breath. “If you decide to wear those earrings Naruto, and if you keep yours Sasuke. Then I formally acknowledge you both… as my brothers.”

Silence.

“…Don't feel like you have to,” she added quickly. “Especially you Sasuke. I know I kind of changed the rules at the last second, and I know that being someone's brother has meant some pretty bad things for you so I understand if-”

“Ok”

Shikako froze in her rambling. She'd been so worried about pushing him too far. That he'd reject her, on instinct if for no other reason.

But to hear him say it so readily… easily.

As if there was never even a doubt was… well…

By the time she could finally get her mouth to work again he was eyeing her with the barest of smiles on his lips that somehow radiated smugness. It took a lot to render her speechless these days, and he was clearly enjoying every bit of it.

She returned the gesture shyly. “Ok… that's. Um… good.” She looked away from him, a slight blush from being caught so off guard.

She shifted her focus to Naruto. The catalyst for her finally going through with this idea of her's.

His hands faintly trembled, his grip on the case carefully tightened. Not enough to break it, which he could easily do, but enough to make sure that it didn't go anywhere.

That it was real, and tangible, and not some kind of cruel genjutsu or prank.

“Naruto?” She asked gently, barely above a whisper. The longer he stayed silent the more her doubt returned…

But then he spoke, and his voice was thick with emotion.

“H-how,” he began. “How do you… put these on?”

She gave him the warmest smile she had, and was relieved beyond belief to see him return it.

She put the earrings on him in the same fashion that she had for Sasuke years ago.

And then Naruto was beaming at them. At how all three of them matched. All squinty eyes and cheekbones.

There were some tears there too, but they didn't matter.

Because Naruto, her teammate, and her family was smiling.

And this time, it was real.