Chapter Text
“Screw the rules. Screw them. Screw all of this.” Alec was done. So done with everything.
Without further thought, he left the institute, just stopping by in his room to grab his gear. He was furious and sad at the same time. He knew he said that he would do anything to help his family, but he didn’t mean marrying some girl. He felt useless and unlovable. He wasn’t worth anything, and nobody really needed him. Even though they took him hunting and wanted him to save the family honor, they didn’t really NEED him. They could make it without him. He was only a means for the purpose, but nobody really cared what he wanted or what he felt.
He felt broken and frustrated. What should he do now? He knew that he needed to get out of the institute, but where should he go? He had nothing. He was a nobody. Unwanted and unneeded.
“Why am I even on this earth when nobody needs me?” He mumbled with a deep breath.
But then he remembered something. Magnus. He said he needed him, even though he could have asked Jace or Clary for some strength. He is the only person who seems to really need me at the moment.
Without any further thinking, he began to run in the direction of Magnus’ loft, just hoping he was still required. His lungs were burning by the time he arrived at the building, but he didn’t care. Taking two steps at the time, he was quick to reach the door to the loft. He was surprised to find it unlocked but didn’t have enough time to think about it. Jogging down the hallway, he looked into every room to search for the warlock. When he arrived at the living room, he saw him sitting in front of Luke, who was lying on the sofa. Magnus’ hands were glowing with a blue light, trying to heal Luke.
He was pulled out of his trance when the warlock’s eyes began to flutter closed and he was slowly falling to the side. With a quick spurt, Alec was on his knees beside Magnus, catching him before he could fall to the ground. The warlock looked up to him, his eyes tired and exhausted. “Help me," he spoke out of breath and held his right hand up. “I need your strength.”
For a second, Alec hesitated, looking between Magnus’ face and his hand. But then he remembered: He is probably the only one who really needs me. He could have asked Clary and Jace for strength, but here he is, rather draining himself than asking for their help.
“Take what you need," he said with an unexpectedly confident voice that surprised himself. He held his right hand up for Magnus to take, which he did, followed by a small smile reaching his lips. Alec put his left hand on the warlocks back to help him steady himself when they were both sitting up to have a better reach on Luke.
Alec closed his eyes, while Magnus took the energy that was necessary from him. The feeling he got was indescribable. Although he felt that he lost some of his strength and it was drained out of him, he also felt like he was given something. It began in his hand, slowly wandering up his arm to the rest of his body, warming up his heart. He felt oddly connected to the warlock. In a good way.
He didn’t even notice the others coming into the room, let alone them giving Luke whatever it was that he needed. He only opened his eyes again when he felt the warm feeling leaving him again. He opened his eyes to find Luke looking up at Clary. Magnus’ hands weren’t glowing anymore, and he let them sink together with his body. Alec sat back down on his heels, eyes fixed on Luke. He seemed to be okay again. Magnus, on the other side, let himself fall against the Shadowhunter’s chest, eyes closed. Alec looked down at him in worry. Gently, he squeezed the warlocks hand that he was still holding to get his attention. When Magnus looked up to him, he could clearly see the exhaustion in his eyes. “You okay?” - "Yeah,”, the warlock answered, just managing a small nod.
The next few hours did go by in a rush. Alec felt like he wasn’t really himself; his mind was racing. After he helped Magnus get to his feet, he held him up and walked him to his bedroom. Carefully, he laid him down on his big bed, with Magnus passing out immediately. Alec watched him lying there peacefully before he decided that he probably wasn’t comfortable like this. So he moved to take his shoes off, paying attention to not wake the warlock up again. Then he took the yellow blanket from under Magnus and tucked him in.
Feeling slightly creeped out by himself, he left the room, closing the door behind him. He didn’t know where to go because he wanted to be alone, not having the strength to cope with the others right now. So he wandered off into the loft, having a little exploration. He didn’t know if he was allowed to do it, but he wanted to find a place to be alone. In the end, he got to the balcony without anybody noticing and sat down on a chair in the corner of it. With a deep breath of fresh air, he closed his eyes. His mind was racing with thoughts about his parents, the clave, his siblings and Magnus. He felt like his head might explode any second. He slid further down on the chair, forcing his thoughts to go away so he could fall into a dreamless sleep.