Archive of Our Own ^beta

Riot looked at pup’s ticket, why had he bought a lottery ticket again? It weren’t sure. But twisting it around in bite’s hand bite realized that he couldn’t return it, so better odds then none to just scratch it already and not waste any money!

Scratching it he realized…GASP! He had won…the lottery, pup couldn’t believe it, tears of joy formed in it’s eyes

“Oh-Oh my God! I’m rich!” It exclaimed. Crying laughing, then bite turned it’s head. “You know what? Im gonna go to HOLLYWOOF!” (Which was this universe’s version of Hollywood)

Meanwhile In america

“President trump, we really need to get people to not realize you’re a dictator, should I get X to support you even more?” Elon musk asked, his voice sounding like it was clogged up

“Noooo…noo…elon bbg” Trump said simply. “I don’t want that-“

Then riot burst into the room “HEYY GUYS, I demand yall take me to hollywoof!”

Elon snapped his head to it “And what money do you have to offer? I’m the richest man In the wor-“ he was interrupted by pup putting down a check of more money then there was In the world, Elon's mouth stood agape

“NOPE! Not anymore, baby!” Pup stated, shortly after the billionaires were paid a decent amount by their new overlord to take him to hollywood.

After they arrived at hollywood, hmm…there was a movie called ‘the bible: the FINAL testament.”

And Riot quickly auditioned for the role, the auditioner man was named audry “Hey audry, I wanna play the role of God!” Riot said, audrey, an old man with gray short hair, a cowboy hat and a styled mustache turned his head around “God…you say?….well, I’m sorry kid but that role’s already taken.”

Pup’s eyes widened. “By who-“ pup looked over to see Yahweh, Two blue eyes sticking out behind fancy star shaped sunglasses that were just halfway covering his eyes, yellow hair and a raised eyebrow.

“I'm playing Myself.” Yahweh said with a shrug. “I’m a star here at hollywood now…You can call me…..Yahwed…(Jawed)” Yahweh said, trying to play It cool.

Riot looked him up and down “Yahweh, I can see you’re god,” he said taking a step closer

Yahweh barely paid him any mind “What? Yeah,、I knowww-“ He told Bite.

Bite stepped back “sooo, u werent trying to hide it? Where’s Lucifer.” It looked around but saw no sign of the brunette angel

“Dead.” Yahweh said dramatically, pup nearly jumped “wh-what?!-“ Yahweh laughed “Nahhh, I’m just messing with ya riot. He’s probably at a bar somewhere, getting drunk and messing around with girls,”

“How do you know my na-“ Riot nearly fell back before audry said

“Alright kiddo, you can take the roll of Lucifer!”

The next hours were funny and painful, Audry got dressed for playing the role of an Angel, but then they spent many hours doing his make up correctly!

Once pup got on the main stage tho…thats where the magic happened…

The red carpets glowed as the audience cheered and riot stumbled onto the stage, his black hair falling down his back, the audience clapped. Riot looked around at them, all the smiling faces with expectations, the darkness of the room making It look almost like a cinema.

He cleared his throat “Uhm, hello every body! I am Lucifer…and This is the story of the bible !” Bite explained

45 and a half minutes later and Riot was at the ‘kissing scene’ with Yahweh

His aromantic ass nearly puking as he had to kiss Yahweh, pup made it tho.

At the end of the day aubry came to it “Guess what bud, you’ve earned 10000999 Quadrillion dollars!” The breath nearly left riot as they were handed a bag with pure cash in it

“Wow…damn man wow…” Bite tried to reconcile. When it had first won the lottery it didnt realize how much money It was actually but now…? Seeing it in person, the bags just kept piling on and piling on and flowing in…

Riot took a taxi to It’s home town to solve some Unresolved issues, walking In as the richest puppy In the world It faced It’s former toxic friends

“HEY GUYS, I AM RADQUEER. I AM THE WORLD’S RICHEST PERSON AND I AM RADQUEER!” It practically screamed at them, as expected, they were not delighted and started throwing rotten tomatoes at it,

But just before any could hit him, Yahweh teleported In and paused time. He looked at riot. “Hey…dude, do you Just wanna like, leave all of this behind? Like do whatever you want In the moment, I just-…” he looked down. “I just want you to be happy.” You told him.

Then riot smiled. Looked at his friends with one last wistful glance, and then back at Yahweh. “Yeah, I wanna go.” He whispered out sincerely

Later he spent all his money on becoming the president and made a law that says that everyone’s pronouns are now he/bite/it/pup

The end!