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1. The Sticker Situation
Bucky wakes up groggier than usual. Last night’s mission was hell, and he was so exhausted that he passed out on the couch—prosthetic arm still attached.
He yawns, stretches—then freezes.
Something is wrong.
His senses are sharp, always on alert, but for some reason, he feels… off. Disoriented. He hasn’t felt like this since Hydra, and the unfamiliarity unsettles him.
His head snaps to the left so fast he’s surprised he doesn’t sprain something. His eyes widen in horror.
His vibranium arm—his sleek, deadly weapon—is covered in stickers.
Not just any stickers. Cute, colorful travel stickers.
Bucky blinks.
“Morning, Mr. Barnes!”
Peter’s voice is far too chipper for whatever fresh hell this is. He walks out of the pantry, stirring his cereal, completely at ease. Bucky mentally scolds himself for not noticing another presence in the room. Maybe he is getting old.
Peter plops down in front of him, smiling as innocently as ever.
“Do you like it? I thought your arm looked a little plain. Cap said you’ve been to so many countries, so I figured you might want to show it off! Now everyone can see all the places you’ve been—with stickers!”
Bucky blinks again.
“…Huh?”
Peter beams.
Bucky flexes his fingers, trying to shake them off. The stickers do not budge.
Peter’s grin only grows. “I used super strong adhesive! You know, so they don’t fall off.”
Bucky doesn’t even have the strength to be mad.
Right then, Sam walks in, mid-yawn. “What are you guys talkin’ abou—” He stops. Blinks. Then absolutely loses it.
“OH, HELL NO. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM, MAN?”
Bucky sighs deeply, long-sufferingly.
‘It’s okay. He’s just a kid. I’ll let it pass this time.’
…He ends up keeping them on for three days.
---
2. The Lego Landmine
Peter has been raving about his latest prize for weeks—the Avengers Tower Limited Edition Lego Set. It cost him a fortune, and naturally, he invited Ned over to help him build it.
They work on it for hours, completely engrossed, carefully placing each piece like they’re performing delicate surgery.
Then, disaster strikes.
Peter fumbles, and a tiny Lego piece slips through his fingers. It bounces off the table and vanishes into the void.
They search everywhere. Under the couch. Behind the bookshelf. Ned even checks his shoes. But it’s gone.
Peter sighs.
“It's no big deal.”
Ned nods.
“Yeah, it’s just one piece.”
Except, later that night—
“SON OF A—”
The entire tower shakes with Tony’s voice, followed by a crash and a stream of very creative cursing.
Peter and Bruce, lounging on the couch, peek over the edge.
“Oh no,” Peter whispers in horror.
Tony is hunched over, clutching his foot like he’s been mortally wounded.
“WHO THE—” Tony starts, eyes blazing, ready to rain hell on whoever dared booby-trap his home sweet home—
Then his gaze lands on Peter.
Peter, who is blinking up at him, wide-eyed, looking every bit the picture of innocence.
There’s a long pause.
Tony sighs. Runs a hand down his face. Grumbles, “…Never mind. It’s fine. It’s totally fine.”
Peter and Bruce exchange glances.
Ned, from their FaceTime call, snickers. “You are so spoiled.”
Peter just grins, feeling half guilty.
---
3. Thor’s New Hairdo
One lazy afternoon, Peter and Thor are lounging around the tower. Peter is attempting to teach Thor how to play mobile games, but there’s a problem.
Thor’s ridiculously long hair keeps falling into his face, blocking the screen.
Peter watches in growing frustration as Thor continuously swipes at his hair, missing every tap. Finally, Peter sighs.
“Your hair’s always in your face, Mr. Thor.”
Thor simply hums in acknowledgment, far too engrossed in losing at the game to even care.
Peter, decisive, hops up and moves behind the Asgardian. “Hold still.”
Thor, to his credit, doesn’t even question it. He sits there, letting Peter gather the massive blond locks and tie them into a perfectly neat ponytail. Then, for good measure, Peter adds a bright pink ribbon on top.
Satisfied with his masterpiece, Peter whips out his phone and opens the camera app. “Okay, look.”
Thor inspects his reflection and beams.
“This is glorious!”
And that’s how Thor ends up striding proudly around the tower, ponytail bouncing, completely unbothered. No one has the heart to tell him otherwise when they can clearly see the mastermind lurking from behind with a big, proud and satisfied smile.
Loki, however, lurks in the corner, snapping several photos.
For… reasons.
---
4. The Salty Coffee Incident
Peter is in a hurry.
May calls him with urgent news right as he’s fumbling around the pantry, attempting to make something vaguely edible. Attempting is the bold keyword.
Flustered, distracted, and moving way too fast, he accidentally swaps the lids of the salt and sugar. Oblivious, he rushes out with a half-baked sandwich in one hand and a rapidly cooling coffee in the other.
And that’s how disaster is set in motion.
That night, Bruce is exhausted.
Every attempt at his latest project has hit a dead end. He’s rewritten formulas, recalculated variables, and even tried meditative breathing techniques. Nothing helps.
At this point, there is only one thing that can save him: coffee.
With the heavy steps of a man who has lost all hope, he trudges to the pantry, makes himself a large mug, and takes a sip.
His eye twitches.
He takes another sip, just to be sure.
Slowly, he lowers the mug.
Stares at the wall.
And contemplates his entire existence.
It’s unclear whether he’s blaming himself, the universe, or his entire lineage for the misfortune that has befallen him.
There is a long, long pause as Bruce—one of the greatest minds of his generation, a man capable of cracking the secrets of the universe—comes to a single, crushing realization.
He has been betrayed.
By coffee.
By science.
By the universe itself.
After a full minute of silent suffering, he stands, pushes his chair in, and—without a word—walks to his room. The door closes with the finality of a man who has given up on life itself.
He’s done.
The next morning, the Tower is buzzing with the news of The Incident. Peter overhears Natasha telling Clint about Bruce’s complete mental shutdown, and his stomach drops.
“Oh no,” he whispers, eyes wide.
“That’s terrible.”
He presses his lips together, willing himself to look properly horrified instead of guilty.
Natasha narrows her eyes at him.
“…Peter,” she says slowly, tone dripping with suspicion.
Peter, flashing his best innocent smile.
“Gotta go! Bye!”
And just like that, he flees.
---
5. The Hello Kitty Disaster
Peter returns from his school trip beaming. He’s proud—so proud—because he’s gotten each Avenger a gift.
Natasha gets an absurdly tall crystal mug because she once mentioned liking heavy drinkware. Tony (and by default, Pepper) gets fridge magnets—classy, practical, and an easy win. Bucky, naturally, gets more stickers. Because he loved the last batch, Peter said.
And now, it’s Steve’s turn.
Peter grins, handing Steve a neatly wrapped package. “I got you a shirt!”
Steve, genuinely touched, unfolds the gift—
Only to come face to face with Hello Kitty.
Holding a Captain America shield.
There is a long, painful pause.
The silence is only broken by the choked wheezing of Sam Wilson, who takes one look at the shirt and immediately doubles over.
Peter, completely unaware of the chaos he has just unleashed, beams.
“Nat said you love cats!”
Steve’s head turns, slowly, to Natasha, who is sipping her coffee with an expression so neutral it has to be fake.
“Did she now?” Steve asks, voice oddly calm.
“Yup!” Peter nods enthusiastically. “She said you’re always around them! Like, at the compound, in Brooklyn, everywhere. I figured—wow, he must really love them! And I saw this shirt, and I thought—perfect!”
Sam makes a gasping sound, wiping away tears of laughter. “Oh, man. This is the best day of my life.”
Steve sighs, rubbing a hand down his face.
“…Thanks, kid,” he mutters, trying his absolute best to sound grateful.
The frantic wheezing in the background is not helping.
And worst of all—Tony is there.
Tony, who has not stopped grinning.
“Oh, no, no, no,” Stark says, patting Steve on the shoulder, his voice practically vibrating with joy. “You have to wear it.”
The room erupts into chaos.
And because Steve Rogers is a man of honor, he actually wears it.
Just this once.
For Peter’s sake.
Peter, of course, takes a picture.
So does the internet.
The mystery of how that picture leaked remains unsolved.
(Clint is later found laughing to himself over his phone, but there is no evidence to prove anything.)
Steve, however, has his suspicions.
---
6. The Sparkly Arrow
Peter watches Clint’s archery practice with wide-eyed fascination. Technically, he’s not allowed to participate—Tony made that very clear.
“You can watch, Underoos. Just watch. No touching. No experimenting. No—”
But watching is boring, and Peter has fun ideas.
“You know what would be so cool, Mr Barton?” Peter blurts out suddenly, practically vibrating with excitement.
Clint lowers his bow, already suspicious. “What?”
Peter bounces on his toes. “An arrow that glitters in the air.”
Clint stares.
“What.”
“Like—imagine it! You shoot it, and boom! A trail of glitter sparkles behind it! Or better—when it hits something, it explodes into glitter! It’d be so cool.”
Clint Barton, a professional assassin and longtime Avenger, is about to say absolutely not. But Peter is looking at him with those ridiculously hopeful and bright eyes.
And that’s how, one week later, Clint finds himself testing out a glitter bomb arrow specialy made and customised by Peter.
'Let's be positive. It shouldn't be that bad.'
Clint shrugs off, trying to comfort himself. So he pulls the bow and try to attack the fake dummy.
The moment it hits the target—
BOOM.
A cloud of gold, silver, and neon pink glitter explodes everywhere.
Clint is covered.
The entire training room is coated in sparkles.
Even the air seems to shimmer.
Peter, delighted, claps his hands. “Great! You could even confuse your enemies with the glitter!”
Clint, standing in what looks like an explosion at a craft store, does not share his enthusiasm.
Somewhere in the distance, Tony screams.
After that, Tony immediately bans Peter from archery practice.
Or anything remotely archery-related.
Clint is still finding glitter in his vents and quiver three weeks later.
Natasha, deadpan, simply says, “This is your life now.”
Clint sighs.
Peter, meanwhile, is already brainstorming new ideas.
---
7. The Candlelight Catastrophe
Peter just found out that Wanda and Vision have been dating for months.
And he is personally offended.
“How dare you keep this from me?” he gasps, throwing himself onto the couch between Wanda and Natasha like he’s just been through the biggest betrayal of the history.
Natasha, unbothered, flips a page in her magazine. “You never asked.”
Wanda shifts uncomfortably. “It’s not like we were hiding it…”
“Not hiding it?” Peter repeats, scandalized. “I had to hear about it from Scott. Scott. Who, by the way, told me week ago, assuming I already knew—except I didn’t.” He clutches his chest dramatically. “And you—you two—just went on living your lives while I sat here, completely out of the loop?!”
Wanda sighs.
“I’m… sorry?”
Natasha pats Peter’s head. “There, there. You’ll survive.”
Peter narrows his eyes. “I’ll forgive you.” He turns to Wanda, suddenly serious. “But only if you let me make it up to you.”
Wanda has several concerns. “Make it up how?”
Peter grins.
Wanda does not like that grin.
That Friday, Wanda and Vision step into the Tower’s dining room—
And immediately stop dead.
It looks like a romance movie threw up all over the place.
There are candles. Everywhere.
Some are on the table.
Some are on the floor.
Some are precariously balancing on bookshelves, flickering like tiny warnings.
The lights are dimmed to a questionable level.
The table is buried under rose petals, making it look like a funeral for good taste.
And playing from a speaker in the corner—
A dramatic 90s love ballad. On loop.
Peter spreads his arms. “Tada! Surprise date night!”
Wanda stares, taking in the sheer volume of fire hazards.
Vision also stares. “This seems… ill-advised."
“Nonsense!” Peter grins, pulling out a chair. “Come on, sit! Enjoy the ambiance!”
Vision eyes a particularly aggressive candle flickering next to the curtains. “This ambiance appears to be… highly flammable.”
Wanda, torn between laughter and genuine concern for her safety, smiles. “It’s… sweet, sweetheart. Really.”
Peter beams. It was a success.
Not until approximately fifteen minutes later, the third candle nearly sets the tablecloth on fire.
Wanda immediately dumps a glass of water over the flames using her magic.
Vision, while looking deeply unimpressed, silently starts phasing candles out of existence.
Peter, watching his carefully planned romance literally go up in flames, turns to Wanda with wide eyes.
“…Should I call Tony?”
From the doorway, Natasha—who has been recording the entire thing for entertainment purpose—just sips her drink and shakes her head.
“Oh no, Spidey,” she smirks. “You get to explain this one to him.”
And then the fire alarm goes off.
Peter yelps.
Vision sighs.
Wanda closes her eyes like she’s deeply regretting every choice that led to this moment.
Tony’s voice booms over the Tower intercom.
“WHY DO I SMELL SMOKE? WHO—”
Peter bolts.
Natasha cackles.
And Wanda is never letting Peter plan a date again.
---
8. Natasha’s Dating Disaster
Peter, for reasons no one understands, has convinced himself that Natasha 'needs to meet people'.
“Just because Wanda has a date doesn’t mean I need one too, Spidey,” Natasha deadpans, casually flipping her knife in one hand.
Peter, completely unfazed by the clear threat, just hums. “Mhm. Sure.”
Natasha squints at him.
“What was that?”
“Nothing!”
It is, in fact, not nothing.
Because two days later, Natasha’s phone starts exploding with notifications. She frowns, scrolling through her alerts. “Why the hell am I getting—” She stops. Blinks. And stares.
Peter, suspiciously still across the room, pretends to look very interested in a speck of dust on the wall.
Natasha narrows her eyes and opens the app.
Oh.
Oh, he did not.
He actually did.
Peter freaking Parker downloaded a dating app on her phone.
And not just any app—one of those hyper-specific, probably-questionable ones that somehow knows your location.
Her bio, written entirely by Peter, reads:
Lethal, but has a soft side. Will out-drink you. Not interested in long walks on the beach unless there’s an ambush involved.
Natasha reads it twice.
Then she slowly turns her head toward Peter.
Peter grins. “I thought it was accurate!”
Natasha just stares.
Peter stares back, unblinking, ever so innocent.
Sam, peering over her shoulder, suddenly wheezes.
“Oh my god,” he chokes out. “Wait—wait—look at the DMs—”
Natasha scrolls.
Oh, this is bad.
This is so bad.
There are already dozens of matches. And some guy named Chad has just sent her a message saying:
"Damn girl, u look like u could kill me. Lowkey kinda into it. Wanna grab drinks?"
Bucky, reading over her other shoulder, loses it.
“I—” Bucky wheezes. “I can’t—” He doubles over. “Look at this one—”
Another guy has sent:
"I, too, have a soft side. Let’s be lethal together."
Sam is crying. Bucky has eventually collapsed.
Peter, sitting cross-legged on the couch, just smiles sweetly.
Natasha inhales deeply, slowly, counting to ten. She closes the app. Deletes it. An turns off her phone.
Then she walks over to Peter, crouches down, and flicks him on the forehead.
Peter yelps.
“You,” she says, ruffling his hair aggressively, “are so, so lucky I like you, Parker.”
Peter just grins.
Sam, still gasping for air, chokes out—
“Nat, you should’ve at least replied to Chad.”
Natasha throws a knife at him(…It lands dangerously close.)
Peter absolutely takes notes on how accurate Natasha is with her throw.
The next day, Peter is happily munching on a pop tart, swinging his legs under the counter while Natasha flips through her phone, sipping her coffee. Tony, still half-asleep, is focused on his own caffeine intake.
Then—
F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes through the kitchen.
“Mr. Stark, there is a visitor outside the Tower requesting to see Miss Romanoff.”
“Tell them I’m busy.” Natasha doesn’t even look up as she brushed it off.
F.R.I.D.A.Y. hesitates.
“…He is holding an extra-large bouquet of roses and insists he is here to court Miss Romanoff.”
A beat of silence.
Peter chokes on his Pop-Tart.
Bucky and Sam, passing by, freeze. Then, as if drawn by sheer chaos, they immediately backpedal into the kitchen, eyes gleaming.
Natasha, unbothered, takes another sip of coffee.
“Tell him to go away.”
F.R.I.D.A.Y. continues, “He says his name is Chad.”
The reaction is immediate.
Sam howls with laughter. Bucky actually drops to his knees. Tony, who was barely awake moments ago, is suddenly wide awake.
Peter? Peter looks like he’s having an out-of-body experience.
“Holy—” Peter slaps a hand over his mouth, eyes sparkling with pure, unfiltered mischief. “No way.”
Sam wheezes. “Nat—Nat, you have a suitor.”
“I don’t,” Natasha says dryly, still unbothered.
Bucky, still recovering, mutters, “You do.”
Tony, eyes narrowing, stands up.
“Wait. Who is Chad?”
Peter, the absolute menace, raises a guilty hand. “Um. So. Funny story—”
Before he can even begin explaining, F.R.I.D.A.Y. adds, “He also says, and I quote: ‘Tell the fierce and radiant Natasha that our fates are entwined, and I will not be deterred.’”
There is another beat of silence.
Then Clint walks in looking completely confused. “Why is there a dude outside with an insane amount of roses? I had a thought that he robbed the florist or something.”
And that’s when Sam absolutely loses it.
Bucky is bracing himself against the counter, Sam is crying laughing, and Peter is straight-up vibrating with excitement.
Natasha, still unbothered, sets her mug down and finally stands.
“I’ll handle this.”
Sam gasps. “Are you gonna kill him?”
Peter, eyes huge, whispers, “Please don’t kill him.”
Natasha smirks, stretching her fingers.
"We’ll see.”
Peter absolutely follows her to watch.
---
Final Scene: The Mischief Recruitment
As the Tower settles from The Chad Incident, Loki finally makes his move.
He materializes beside Peter, who is still giggling to himself as Natasha makes Chad disappear (not fatally, but definitely effectively).
“You,” Loki purrs, draping an arm over Peter’s shoulders.
Peter startles.
“Huh—wha—Mr. Loki?”
Loki grins. “I have been observing your… works.”
Peter blinks. “Oh. Cool?”
Loki’s expression is positively thrilled. “It is more than cool, young Spider. You, my dear mortal, are wasted on these heroes.” He gestures toward the others, all still arguing about Chad. “You possess a natural gift. The chaos, the brilliance—the sheer audacity.”
Peter frowns, confused.
“I mean, I just kinda… do stuff?”
Loki’s grin widens. “And that is why you are perfect.”
Peter tilts his head.
“Perfect for what?”
Loki straightens, standing tall and regal. “To become my disciple. A protégé of mischief, if you will.”
Peter gasps. “Wait—are you offering me an apprenticeship?”
Sam, overhearing, immediately intervenes. “Oh, HELL no.”
Bucky crosses his arms. “Absolutely not,” he can't handle them both at the same time.
Tony which suddenly appears out of nowhere. “NO.”
Loki scoffs.
“You mortals have no appreciation for true talent.”
Peter, still considering it, taps his chin.
“Would I get a cool cape?”
Loki grins. “The finest.”
Tony grabs Peter by the hoodie. “You’re grounded, kid.”
Peter splutters.
“What—"
“You literally set the Tower on fire last week with a ‘romantic gesture’,” Tony reminds him.
Natasha, passing by, just snorts. “Do it, Spidey. Be a menace. Gotta say you have natural talent in this matter.”
Loki gives her an approving nod. Finally, heaven bethrows him an understanding mortal.
Peter looks between them all, eyes bright with mischief.
“…Can I get a trial run?”
Tony sighs the sigh of a father who regrets every decision leading to this moment.
Loki claps his hands.
“Excellent.”
And just like that, the chaos officially doubles.