Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Home.

A working man finds home, in the loving embrace of his family after a long day's work, welcomed by a warm meal and touching words coming from the mouth of the ones he loves. A soldier finds home, in the crude companionship between his brothers in all but blood, welcomed by uncouth jokes and words not fit for a young’s ears. A priest finds home, in his place of worship, his place of solace, where he is welcomed by fellows sharing his faith.

Even a poor beggar can find home, in the occasional kindness he or she receives. A piece of bread, a single coin, some well wishes. Things that mean nothing to others, can mean the world to the poor, the downtrodden, the ones that slip through the cracks. It’s more difficult for them, the weak, the outcasts, to have somewhere they belong, but they manage, they survive, and they live on. They are united by struggle, united by grief.

Natsumi walks by an innkeeper and he takes his hat off to her, full of respect. She passes by a band of uncouth mercenaries and they quietly wait for her to pass. She enters this world’s house of God and its servants praise her for her actions. She sees someone without her legs struggling to crawl to her with both her arms, dragging her body behind her while onlookers gasp and condemn the woman. Pointing at her, blaming her for her ignorance. Bow before our savior, they say. Do not be ungrateful and bow, before you lose the ability to.

She turns and faces the one crawling towards her, sees how her eyes widen because of her gaze, sees how the pitiful one trembles when given her full attention. How courageous, Natsumi thinks, and listens to her pleas. This one wishes for many things, but she only gives her back two. The woman, now healed and able, kneels and tearfully thanks her for her gift, thanking the so-called Saintess for giving her a place to stay. Natsumi nods to her, and leaves. The onlookers cry out, calling her kind, merciful. The woman will be welcomed into the church, as someone who received her blessing. She does not outwardly react, but her heart breaks into pieces.

Smiling to the masses, healing the odd person here and there, pretending to be this infallible symbol, it hurts. People keep talking at her, not to her. It has gotten easier with time, and she often wonders if it’s because she’s slowly making herself a home, surrounded with adoring followers, or if it’s because she’s simply slowly getting used to not belonging. It’s very difficult to tell apart, even for someone as experienced as she is.

If someone heard Natsumi’s inner thoughts, surely, they would scold her for being ungrateful. So much power at her fingertips yet she still longs for more, how greedy. Perhaps this is why she’s been dealt this hand by her maker, regressing over and over again with no end in sight as punishment for wanting too much, too soon. 

But that is neither here nor there, she supposes, and quickly shuts down that line of thought. She’s facing hundreds, perhaps thousands of her followers, she cannot afford to falter in front of them. Natsumi waves, colors flow outwards from the tip of her fingers and countless lesser spirits appear. This town’s survival depends on the spirits’ favor, thus the people cheer and celebrate this miracle brought by her, and she finally exits the spotlight with her duty finished.

She passes a mirror and catches her reflection. She’s still smiling, and schools her expression into one of indifference. It’s alright to accept these people’s love for her, it’s another thing completely to actually believe in their love. These people will take and take, until there’s nothing left. Then, they’ll continue to take from her rotting corpse.

She looks over this small town and decides to leave after some pondering. This place is thriving, the crops bountiful, and there are plenty of minor spirits to sustain the village’s water source and other basic necessities, so there’s no longer any need for her powers. It’s almost time for her to head for the capital anyhow, since for some unknown reasons things of import usually occur there every loop roughly around this date. Natsumi really hopes she’ll be welcomed not by pitchforks and weapons this time. She can’t be harmed by untrained peasants, not so easily, but it’s quite troublesome to deal with angry mobs based on her past experience. So many negative emotions bombarding her all at once, it’s overwhelming, it’s… painful.

Natsumi waves over a carriage and the driver immediately stops by her side, welcoming her in. She takes out a couple coins for payment but is promptly rejected, a large and calloused hand pushing hers away. She nods, and simply sits down and prepares for a quiet ride. People like him that practically worships the ground she walks on never actually dares to talk to her, but she doesn’t particularly mind the silence. She’s always been alone, after all.

Natsumi Schwartz has always been the one forced to leave everyone behind. Maybe she’ll just stay in the capital and leave the dangerous fighting to others, for a change.

____________________________________________________________________________

For any normal being, the road from such a remote village to the capital is a long one. But the passing of time is different for Natsumi. If others' perception of time is a straight line drawn in the sand, her perception would be…

The same, really, but her line is drawn on a beach where the waves keep on coming, and the line gets erased, again and again. Natsumi’s the poor sod who has to keep on drawing the same thing and futilely trying to shield what’s hers from the never-ending tide.

She held it together during the first couple resets, but after a while she can feel her humanity slipping away. A human’s supposed to have one life which is supposed to last for about eighty years, give or take a couple. Some people are blessed, or cursed, depending on how one looks at it, to live upwards of a hundred years, but no human is supposed to live thousands and thousands of years while retaining their sanity. Humans are taught to cherish every moment because unlike beings with long lifespans, humans don’t have the time to take it easy for a couple hundred years and still have more than half of their life to learn and grow. So what can a human do when saddled with a power like hers?

How ironic that the title Saintess is granted to her, when all she can do is pray for salvation.

Natsumi remembers a saying from a time long passed. Adapt, adjust, overcome. Maybe it’s possible for an elf or an undying spirit, but for a former regular girl hailing from Japan, she was never going to cut it.

The driver informs her of their arrival, and she’s brought out of her thoughts. She thanks him, once again tries to pay him for the ride, and her action is once again politely rejected. Fair enough, she reckons. Her patronage most likely will mean nothing but good things for him anyways, since she has heard of restaurants she dined in or inns she stayed at being bought by wealthy worshippers of hers. Perhaps his carriage, his ground dragon and even his services will be bought by some rich baron, paying him a hefty fee for him to drive the buyer around every day just for bragging rights.

She turns around and enters Lugunica once again. The place is just as paradoxical as the last time she was here, bustling streets, so many different species coexisting, yet she can still faintly sense the energy of people in the slums. Maybe she’ll pay Rom a visit first, see how he and Felt’s holding up. They don’t recognize her right now, but she’ll just have to reintroduce herself to them.

Halfway to the safehouse, Natsumi remembers that there’s a password required to enter. Ah, no matter. She just brute forced it most of the time during her past loops, surely this time it won’t be a problem.

She quickens her steps, and after a while she’s facing that battered door again. She prepares to knock, but hesitates after hearing some commotion inside. She takes out her trusty whip, bashes the door open and braces herself for a battle, but she just runs into a quite familiar chest. Hmm, white uniform, some sparkling trinkets, a royal knight? How curious. She never ran into a royal knight at this location before.

Natsumi looks at the ground where a woman wielding a sickle lies, wounded but alive. Her flesh tries to connect together, her injuries try to heal, but something stops that bizarre regeneration ability of hers. A cursed puppet’s powers restrained by some sort of technique, spell, or Divine Blessing, perhaps? Must be the handiwork of the mysterious knight in front of her, then. How exciting, she thinks, it’s been forever since something new happened in front of her.

She directs her eyes upwards and is greeted by the face of a friend. Reinhard’s here, that’s… certainly a new development. This might be tricky, explaining to the Sword Saint why she’s at the wrong place at the wrong time, holding a weapon, no less. She ponders how to spin this to not make herself look incriminating, but her brain promptly stops working when he just grabs onto her shoulders and gives her a bone-crushing hug.

“I’ve been looking for you for so long.” Reinhard speaks. The fog in her head evaporates, and she truly hears what he’s saying, for the first time in a long while. “I’m sorry I left you alone, but I remember now, thanks to my newly acquired Divine Blessing. I’ll be by your side until the very end. This, I swear.”

It’s like a dam finally breaks, the shackles and chains forged by her own apathy, ideals and beliefs that bind her loosens, and whatever’s left of her slips out, damaged but free. She cries, the tears flow down her face, dripping onto the floor, painting the world in bright, warm colors she was once oh so familiar with.

Once, she was wandering with no end in sight. Once, there was no one to guide her on her lonely path, and she was finding it harder to continue walking. Once, she was dragged out of the place she called home, kicking and screaming.

Natsumi Schwartz smiles genuinely at Reinhard, nothing like the one she shows to her followers. She doesn’t let herself hope anymore, but maybe, just this once, she has someplace to call home. After all, home is where the heart is, and-

She already gave hers to Reinhard, long ago.

Chapter Text

The magician that greets her looks unique. He wears makeup so heavy it resembles that of a mask, and he’s so talkative yet says nothing of true substance. It would be easy to dismiss it as just inane words used to fill the void, or the result of an addled mind. The most skilled magicians are often the most insane, after all.

It takes Natsumi a while to look past his disguise, but when she does she almost recoils. He reeks of old blood, and it’s so potent she’s almost disappointed at herself for not noticing it before. Meeting Reinhard  with all his memories intact made her lower her guard, but she supposes it’s only natural for one to lose focus when finally reunited with a dear friend.

Still, this is the first time she’s ever seen this person, and she cannot recall ever meeting anyone with the Mathers family name. She was always the one saddled with the many titles granted to the strongest user of each element, but it seems that this jester-like person currently wields the title of Red, Green and Yellow. She still holds the title of Black, but it’s unsettling that she has never met nor heard of this person who is strong enough to contend with her in terms of pure magical prowess.

“The state your soul is in, what have you done to yourself?” Natsumi fails to keep the disdain out of her voice, and from Reinhard’s grimace and the Mather’s shocked expression, she gathers that she probably shouldn’t have said that out loud. “Tell me, wench. Which is real, the mask or the face?”

Seems like someone’s been keeping this monstrosity under wraps, and maybe that’s why he never appeared before her in any of her loops, not even once. No wonder the capital hasn’t called for her return at all in this loop compared to others. The elders think they have their perfect little soldier complete with a domain to shackle him to this kingdom at their disposal, so what use is she, someone who does what she wishes and has no patience for their games?

“I cannot begin to fathom how many of your own bloodline died by your hands. Confess, before it’s too late.” She commands him, and his stance turns defensive as she calls upon the spirits that accompany her everywhere she goes. “Your soul is long beyond saving, but you can still die a dignified death if you repent.”

“There’s nothing you can do right now, and I will not fall before I fulfill my purpose.” The clown says, with no hint of the verbal tick he showed before in brief conversations. “Not even you can harm me at the heart of the capital under the royal knights’ watchful eye, Saintess. The only thing you are capable of doing is pray for my downfall, and nothing more.”

Natsumi looks at him, and she senses nervousness underneath that fake confidence he tries to portray. There’s logic in his words, but emotion often overrides logic in many cases and she is absolutely seething right now. However, she’s not reckless enough to start a fight with a magician that mastered the elements surrounded by his allies on all sides, so she calms herself down and dismisses her comrades before someone notices the strange mana signature present and barges in, swords drawn. She finally has someone to live for, and she knows that she will never forgive herself if she throws this away.

“Very well, but I will pray for your redemption instead.” He seems surprised at her words, and a wishful smile can be seen displayed for a moment before it disappears. “I hope my prayers reach you before I do. And I warn you that my patience dwindles by the day, sinner.”

And with that, she leaves the room with Reinhard following her every step. He remembers what happened before, so no doubt he was just as surprised as she currently is when he first met this jester, but she trusts that he has not remained idle since meeting such a large anomaly. She needs to have a talk with Reinhard quickly, just in case Mathers is up to no good.

Just when she thought Od Laguna cut her some slack. How unreasonably demanding of it. But then again, she should have seen it coming. It bestows many gifts to people without demanding payment, but when it comes to her it always expects something in return.

Oh well, musing about her own misfortune will do her no good. She’ll focus on this pest problem of hers first before it is given the chance to grow and become an infestation.

____________________________________________________________________________

“You knew, did you not?” Natsumi says to Reinhard with an accusing tone. “You knew about this and didn’t warn me beforehand? What prompted you to just throw me to the wolves, with me none the wiser? I thought you of all people would have my back now that you understand my circumstances.”

“There’s no excuse for my actions, but I shall offer an explanation that hopefully will prove to be satisfactory.” He looks around, and speaks so quietly that she can barely hear him. “I am aware of all the lives I’ve lived through, yes, but I am only aware of what I’ve seen, heard and known before. I falsely assumed that you already knew of Mathers and even suspected you had a hand in teaching him, since the madman seems so obsessive with someone he calls teacher that matches your description. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, truly.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. You know I can never stay mad at you for long, dear friend.” She sighs, letting go of her anger. She’s gotten a lot of practice doing that over the years, facing people that want to and already did put her in an early grave does that to someone, she supposes. If she can stay cordial with Emilia’s maids for the first few times they bashed her head in and even became friends in some loops, she’s not going to be angry at Reinhard who has never betrayed nor killed her before. “I really hope you have some already established plans to deal with him in case he ever becomes an active threat. I guess we can come up with something if you don’t since there’s no one that can stand against our combined might, but I’d prefer not dealing with the aftermath of that particular scenario.”

“Please don’t think that little of me, Saintess.” Reinhard reaches into his robes and shows her the corner of a black book. Is that- “This is the witch cult’s gospel. I have the necessary information, when leaked, will make sure the death of Roswaal is not received with mourning but with cheers. The knight commander and some people in important positions know of this, but are also biding their time and waiting for the best moment to dispose of him.”

“When did you start-”

“The witch’s miasma masked his rottenness as I thought it was just a byproduct from training under you, but I took action the moment Od Laguna’s many blessings showed me his soul.” Reinhard tucks the book back into his clothing, shielding it from sight. “You’ve done so much for me, so it’s only natural I return the favor now that I finally remember your many sacrifices.”

She doesn’t even need a divine blessing to know that he’s telling the truth. That amount of devotion from Reinhard if given to anyone surely would spell disaster, but she can’t help but be glad that he chose her.

She’ll treasure this friendship of theirs until the end of time. This, she swears.

Chapter Text

Julius Juukulius thinks he will never forget this day. He was just returning from the training ground instructing some novice knights on some of their swordsmanship when he saw her. She stands some distance from him, but that iconic dress betrays the wearer’s identity as soon as he lays eye on it.

At the end of the corridor stands Natsumi Schwartz, and the ringing in his ears falls silent. He was wondering why his spirits were growing more and more restless during his sparring sessions, and it seems like he just found his answer. The Saintess, the Living Miracle, the Bringer of Salvation, and quite possibly many more epithets he doesn’t know of is standing right there. He stills, like a prey caught in a predator’s gaze, but the Saintess poses no threat, not to him. What… is he afraid of?

He remembers he used to have a list of things he wanted to do when coming face to face with someone as great as her, so many things to ask, but now he’s completely petrified. There will no doubt be other great mages, other great healers. His friend, Felix, is one such example, and the court magician as well. But now Natsumi Schwartz is mere steps away from him, he can say with conviction that there will never be anyone greater than her. The power she radiates is simply inhuman, and it will be cruel to ask anyone, no matter how talented they may be, to surpass or even rival her. She’s simply too bright, an unreachable star in the sky that others can only try and fail to grasp at.

Even the air shifts around her, as if it dares not stir too closely. The corridor is lit by glass-paneled windows, yet the sunlight feels dim compared to the radiance she exudes. Her hair, a cascade of silver moonlight, sways with an ethereal stillness, and the spirits around Julius tremble. Not because of fear, but because of excitement.

Julius knows that the title Saintess is given to people touched and blessed by the divine, but she doesn’t feel simply close to deities, she feels like one herself, or an avatar of one. He can’t help but wonder if he musters up the courage to speak to her, will he be speaking to a god’s chosen, or a figment of a god itself?

She’s walking towards him, and that snaps him out of his stupor. He meets her gaze, and quickly averts his eyes. It’s getting harder to breathe, but he directs all his energy and efforts into performing the perfect bow instead of worrying about inconsequential things like his own health. He bows and prays that he hasn't somehow offended her, as that is all he can do.

“At ease, knight, and stop bowing to me. I can never get used to someone like you showing me this much respect. Well, I suppose I can never get used to all the bowing, regardless of who’s doing it.” She trails off, voice amused. Julius feels the pressure around him decrease and he forces himself to finally breathe. How… gracious. He should thank her before she changes her mind.

Julius prepares to do just that when he recalls some words she said, about her not expecting him to treat her with respect, and pales and chokes on nothing. The Saintess is full of mysteries, and no one can truly grasp the full extent of her powers. Perhaps she can observe one’s true nature, or perhaps she simply changed her form and interacted with him before to test how he treats normal people. Both options mean that she already had a horrible first impression of him as a person, and that certainly does not bode well for him.

“You’re trembling, Greatest Knight .” He hears her speak his title mockingly, and begrudgingly with a hint of respect. “I have to admit, I expected more guts from someone with such an arrogant title, but I suppose that’s what I get for relying on reputation alone to judge one’s character. My, my, is the renowned knight Julius wary of a mere woman of the cloth?”

Julius wants to say no, wants so badly to apologize immediately for the disrespect he’s showing, but his body betrays his mind and he can’t move. With a start, he realizes that he took a few steps back involuntarily. When-

“You really are scared of me, aren’t you? Fear of the unknown is only normal, there’s no shame in it. Still, your composure is better than most, so congratulations.” She smiles at him, and says, “I do not plan to harm you unless you give me a reason to. Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be afraid, for I am your God.”

Her voice rings with a serene finality, almost like her words are being carved in stone.  He feels her words reverb not only in his ears, but in his very bones themselves.

“My God?” He croaks, voice dry, and he just about stops himself from running away to some faraway place, never to be seen again. “N- no, but yo- you are the Saintess?”

She looks like she’s just heard a particularly funny joke, and says, “Who I am matters not. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”

He- can’t be here right now. He wants to, no, he needs to get out. He eyes the doors behind the Saintess, but immediately dismisses that idea. His body will never be willing to take one step towards her, no matter the circumstances.

“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand. It is I who say to you,” She pauses, and her voice strengthens and turns otherworldly. “Do not fear, I will help you.”

He hears something break in the back of his mind, or maybe that’s the sound of his heart shattering into tiny pieces, and Julius-

Julius sprints away, not daring to look back and see whatever expression the Saintess has on her face because of his own cowardice. He rushes toward the gate of the castle and turns towards the direction of his home. He trusts everyone else to keep the stability of the royal capital when he’s absent, and even if they can’t, he can’t bring himself to care right now.

He was right. Julius Juulikus will never forget this day for as long as he lives.

Chapter Text

“It is a pleasure to meet you.” She dips her head slightly, acknowledging the people at the door. “People call me the Saintess, and I currently hold the title of Blue and Black. Natsumi Schwartz, at your service.”

Crusch Karsten stands in front of her, confident and with a regal posture, accompanied by her trusted and ever-present companions. Felix, the demi-human wearing a feminine dress, and the old guard Wilhelm, better known as the Sword Demon. Personally, Natsumi thinks an old man out of his prime keeping such an extravagant title like that is a bit arrogant, but she supposes she has no room to judge with all the titles she holds. Why, she’s only the strongest magic user this world has ever seen!

That was sarcasm, by the way. She supposes if there’s one thing she could have kept throughout so many loops and restarts besides her memories, her humour is not the worst choice. It’s brought her this far, after all.

“Greetings, Saintess. I have heard many things about you. Good things, of course.” Karsten replies, and only enters her room when she steps aside and waves them in. “I am honoured to be granted an audience with your holiness, and I apologize for the untimely intrusion. Sadly. this urgent matter cannot wait, even if I’d wish for nothing more but for you to settle down here properly.”

Oh? How polite this one is. But then again, the countess is the one asking her for a favour, so it is to be expected. Natsumi feels like people always demand things from her without even asking nicely too often, so her standards are abnormally low. It’s nice to be treated with some degree of respect occasionally.

“Normally, I’d cherish this chance to converse with someone as influential and powerful as you, but I’ll cut to the chase this time. I wish for your aid in subjugating the White Whale, who have been terrorizing the people of Lugunica for centuries. I have already formed an army to take the beast down, but your arcane gifts will no doubt be crucial to our efforts.” Crusch continues with conviction, and she is once again reminded by how persuasive and charismatic this person can be. Natsumi’s very tempted to let herself get swept away by her flattering words, but it might be best if she cuts the lady off before she can sweet talk her into joining her merry band of friends. She had been there, done that, and from personal experience that action doesn’t bode well for everyone involved, so she’d rather not.

“Yes, well, in truth, I have been expecting your arrival.” Natsumi says, and sees Felix and Wilhelm share a look while Crusch remains unfazed. “I’ve heard from some credible sources that you’re gathering a sizable force, and since you are a royal candidate, you and your annoying politics make it hard for you to find formidable fighters because you lot can’t ask for aid from anyone affiliated with other camps without sharing the credit for the subjugation. Out of all the neutrals, I do think I’m the first one on your list that you would attempt to recruit, maybe even try to tempt me into joining your camp. Lo and behold, I’m correct once again! Only the first guess though, such a shame.”

Felix and Wilhelm seem to be sharing a conversation with just their eyes, but Natsumi’s nice enough to pretend to not notice that and let them be. The weak and inconsequential shall always scheme behind her backs, that won’t change now, and will not change in the future.

“We… actually did try to recruit Roswaal before, but he declined, stating that he has some business in his territory to take care of.” Felix speaks, and there’s a noticeable lack of tics in his sentence. Maybe he dropped the weird speech patterns just for her? How nice. “Your foresight is still impressive, as we did try to avoid recruiting anyone affiliated with the other camps, but the Emilia camp is too inconsequential so my liege thought it wouldn’t be a big blow to strengthen them.”

Ho? How arrogant. Hmm, there’s still something fishy here, she thinks, as she thinks back to what Felix just said about Roswaal. She will admit she’s skeptical of everything that clown does, but he doesn’t seem like the sort of person to pass on an opportunity like this. “Well, I’ll thank you for the compliment, but I’d appreciate it more if you can tell me where the Court Magician’s headed to. He made an impression on me when we first met, I’m afraid.”

“His destination is the Sanctuary.” Natsumi jolts to attention at the mention of the place where witches lie, and her attention is immediately all given to the words Karsten just said. The Sanctuary is the tomb of an extremely powerful being, often guarded with advanced barriers not to keep one out, but to imprison the ones who go inside. That place… is dangerous, and she can think of several reasons as to why a magician like Roswaal is headed there, and none of them good.

Her musing is cut short, and she snaps back to the present as the Countess continues, “Saintess, we have been cooperative and given you what you want. It would be only fair if you did the same, no?”

Only fair, Crusch says. Oh, that’s just rich. “Very well, you have already stated your intent to recruit me for your cause, but I will have to decline. I am afraid I have something else that takes precedence.” Natsumi sees Felix wordlessly mouth precedence at his liege with a skeptical look, and she adds, “It might be difficult for you to believe my words, but I am speaking the truth in the Lord. I am not lying, and my conscience bears me witness in the spirits’ name.”

She can sense the discontent from all three of her visitors. Oh well, they have been helpful, and she supposes she does have someone that can lessen the burden she has to carry for once in her life. The timing isn’t too bad either, since Reinhard hasn't found that fateful royal candidate he shall devote his sword to yet.

“Pay everyone what you owe them. Taxes to whom taxes are due, tolls to whom tolls are due, respect to whom respect is due, honor to whom honor is due. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.” She says, and finally makes up her mind. “The wicked borrows but does not repay, but the righteous is generous and gives. As the Saintess, it is my duty to be righteous to those that follow my teachings.”

“I suppose I do owe you something for all the help you’ve given me. I am acquainted with a person that I am sure all of you know, and he is much stronger than I am.” At that, Wilhelm audibly gasps, and Natsumi can clearly pinpoint the very moment he understands who she’s suggesting to take her place. “I shall officially nominate Reinhard as my replacement for the subjugation.”

She sits back, braces herself, and watches as chaos erupts all around her.

____________________________________________________________________________

There is a kind of stillness that still lingers after that conversation, like some kind of calm after a storm, when the world finally stops holding its breath.

Natsumi stands at the edge of the balcony, with the early morning fog curling around her like silk, and hears the sound of bells tolling somewhere beneath this thick veil of mist. Below her, the capital stirs with life, unaware of the dangers lurking closer and closer.

She casts a wind spell to blow away the fog, and watches the city with quiet fondness. Once upon a time, this city loved her, and its people adored her. That may not be the case right now, but she remembers, and she always will. She would like to do nothing more than staying here and once again experience everything this place has to offer, with someone who truly understands her this time, and yet—

She cannot.

A pair of eyes had been observing her for a while, since after her meeting with Karsten. Not the adoring masses, nor the fanatic faithful, nor the quiet onlookers, but something worse. Roswaal had been watching her.

Natsumi can still feel it. His cold, deceitful gaze, staring at her soul. Not searching for secrets, but merely observing. For what, she does not know, but the fact that he did so is enough to make her take action. And so, she once again leaves this beautiful city in search of answers.

The spirits around her stir, warm and supportive. She smiles as they whisper in her hair and cling to the folds of her dress like children. Her little guardian fairies, oh so loyal and unchanging, no matter which loop. She needs not ask if they are willing to accompany her, as she already knows the answer. They’ll follow her to the ends of the Earth, no matter the circumstances.

A knock at the balcony door pulls her from her musings and she straightens, eyes still on the horizon. She doesn’t need to turn to know it’s Reinhard that’s behind her, since she’d been expecting him all along. Her voice is calm when she speaks, “So, I assume you’re here to bid me farewell."

“You’ve heard already. It seems both of us have places to be.” Reinhard walks to her side, “The council have asked me to lead the expedition to slay the Whale which has been spotted near the great tree. I have decided to obey them, but I can come with you if you wish. You’re one of the few I will truly follow.”

“I won’t do that, not to you. Besides, I’m the one that gave them this particular idea.” she replies, ignores the shocked expression that blooms on Reinhard’s face and points in a direction she’s certain where Roswaal currently resides. “There’s something brewing in the east. A village hidden by strong barrier magic with a distinct mana signature that is forgotten by most except people like me, who remember too much. Roswaal has holdings there, doesn't he?”

“Yes, he does. That territory has been in the hands of the Roswaal family for generations, and everyone from that family are exceptional magicians. Still, sending me away like this, are you certain that I am not needed?” Oh, he’s so sweet. She’s almost tempted to throw caution to the wind and go to confront Roswaal with Reinhard at her beck and call, but-

“You have your duties, and I have mine. Why, am I that weak to you that you’d think I might be bested by this upstart? Don’t worry too much, friend. You can join me when you’ve dealt with that scourge residing in the sky.” She tells him, and he doesn’t bother arguing. He knows that he can’t afford to undermine what goodwill exists between him and the council by blatantly disregarding their orders like this. Besides, she has to face them alone.

The great spirit, Beatrice. The twins, Rem and Ram. The merchant, Otto. And Emilia as well, the girl who will soon be put to the test in a witch’s tomb. All of them are people that care about Lugunica, and people she failed many times before. The least she can do is lend them a hand without jeopardizing the stability of this already declining kingdom.

“Will you return?” Reinhard’s voice is soft, almost like a whisper, and she smiles, bittersweet.

“Like I said, don’t worry too much. When have I ever stayed dead?” She asks him, and he doesn’t manage to hide a grimace.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. Even if it doesn’t feel like it now, there is a home for you here.” He pauses and sighs, dejected. “I only wish you would realize that, before it’s too late.”

She touches his hands with hers and gives them a firm squeeze. “I’ll come back, I promise. Not because the world needs saving. Not because of any duty.”

Natsumi looks up at him. A boy loved by the world itself yet hated by the people living in it, someone who has endured so much hardship, yet his heart and actions remain utterly unclouded by the malice ever present. He has had all his prayers ignored, yet he still guts himself on the altar when the people ask him to do so. Reinhard deserves so much more, and she shall make sure he gets his due. She will never treat him as some pawn like everyone else does, but instead will treat him as equals. This, she swears.

She thinks of what she’s going to say, and she doesn’t need a divine blessing to know that it won’t be a lie. After all, she’s the kind of person that would rather die with the people she cherishes than away from them.

“I’ll come back because you’re here.”

At her words, Reinhard closes his eyes and stays silent. For a moment, everything’s right with the world.

Chapter Text

Otto Suwen, humble merchant and the owner of this shabby wagon, is currently having a horrible time.

She is riding on his half broken transport, and he’s pulling said transport with a ground dragon he got for cheap because it could never be tamed for long. At least the animal’s behaving today and not buckling every few seconds, so the chances of both him and her being smited for a subpar ride has decreased slightly.

He knows a lot of people would pay exorbitant amounts to be in his position with the frankly unbelievable prestige and fame that comes with such an esteemed guest like her using his services, so his complaints do seem a bit ungrateful but this is too much for poor Otto. He’s barely been hanging on after making some horrible spending decisions, this is his one chance of making it out of the red. But every moment he stays near her he gets the chills, like the ones people get when near someone so obviously stronger than them.

Hmm, that’s probably why Patrasche isn’t up to no good today. Even someone as rowdy as her knows when a predator is nearby and can crush the both of them with just a flick of her fingers. She’s always been a smart one, this ground dragon of his.

“I hope my little companions aren’t making life too difficult for you, Mr Suwen.” The Saintess, Natsumi Schwartz smiles apologetically. “The spirits are always curious about every little thing, but if their actions interfere with your duties, do not hesitate to let me know.”

Ha, no way. Otto’s not fond of tempting fate, and who knows if his complaining would be interpreted as disrespectful to the spirits, or even worse, the Saintess? If that happens, well…

There’s probably not going to be much of his body to be buried after the Saintess is done with him, and who’s going to stop someone like her from murdering plain, boring Otto? Even if someone with that much courage does intervene, all they can do is delay his death for a second at most .

So yes, Otto’s going to keep his mouth shut for once in his life and live to see another day, thank you very much. In hindsight, he really should have found a way to politely decline her request, saving him the headache. Wait, but that might offend her as well, ugh.

Of course, he puts up the perfect customer service smile before he turns around, keeps his retorts to himself, and says, “I shall keep your words in mind, your Holiness. And do not worry, their presence is quite calming, if I do say so myself.”

He credits hisabily to lie as flawlessly as he just did to many years of experience being a merchant, since every time the spirits fly close to him he struggles to hold in a flinch, but he just can’t help it.

Spirits are creatures controlled by their own whimsy. Some may grace people with their help, providing resources that are normally hard to access in extremely rural places, while some burn down settlements with no reason at all. He has heard of and seen people making use of spirits, both in combat and in mundane tasks, but this is the first time he has ever seen someone who can make such a large amount gather and follow them. When he looks back, the trail of spirits almost casts a divine light on his passenger, and the image looks like it came straight out of a story, or a dream.

A nightmare perhaps is more accurate for him, Otto thinks. The scene might look pretty, but every one of those spirits can be the death of him, and it’s only because of the Saintess’ goodwill and power that they are reigned in and not causing trouble. At least she’s smiling, so it looks like she’s enjoying the ride so far.

“This is quite nice, really. I wanted to experience quite a lot of things with my adorable spirits, since a lot of them were shut-ins and troublemakers before I came along.” She laughs, and a beautiful sound graces his ears. He looks back for a while as she pushes a spirit glowing bright yellow right in his face, and says, “Why, this little arsonist was going around trying to find cities to burn to the ground! What a fun fire spirit you are, you!”

Otto flinches following that statement, and he barely manages to not flip the cart over by holding on to the reins for dear life. He hears the Saintess’ laugh turn slightly apologetic as his heartbeat slows back down, so he’s hopefully not going to be subject to divine punishment because of that mishap.

“Well, I suppose it is not the best time for me to tell you that, so that’s no fault of yours, dear driver. Here, let me give you a helping hand.” He feels one of her hands grasp his left shoulder in a gesture of encouragement, and he immediately feels better. Some sort of water magic, maybe? He immediately tries to stammer out a thanks, but he stutters because of how nervous he still is after all that.

“Oh, Otto, were you always this clumsy with your words? I can’t believe I used to think you were the most well put together once, a long time ago.” She sighs wistfully, and continues, “Oh well, things are seemingly changing a lot this loop, and I suppose one of us has to have enough fun for the other in this duo, no?”

“I really do appreciate you being as familiar with me as you are, really, I do.” No, he doesn’t, but he’s not brave enough to say that so this is what he’s saying instead. “Still, I can’t remember meeting you before, and you’re the furthest from forgettable there is, so if I did serve you once before I would have definitely remembered the occasion.”

“Ah, don’t worry about remembering anything. Once again, no fault of yours. Just focus on driving for now and you’ll get it eventually. Or maybe you’ll never get it but things will still work out in the end, I’ll make sure of that, so you don’t need to worry about a thing.” She signals him to keep driving, and he obliges, keeping his eyes on the road ahead.

They say nothing for a while after that, both content to let the silence stretch. Him, because talking with her is extremely stressful and bad for his heart, and her, because she probably has much more important things to worry about.

“I was prepared to spend quite a while trying to find you, but it was quite easy, you know. I suppose I should have expected someone like you would stand out so easily and effortlessly. You’re like me, after all.” He hears her say, and looks back at her to see her pondering something. “Fish gotta swim, and a star’s got to shine.”

She thinks about who knows what for a while more, and opens her mouth to ask, “Hey, Otto, would you like to work for me?”

He swerves to the side because of the shock, and he almost crashes into a tree. This day really is the worst, no contest.

Chapter Text

“This is quite the interesting phenomenon.” Natsumi states, running her fingers through the edges of Sanctuary’s barrier. “Only affects a certain group of people too. Very specialized magic, and very advanced.”

And its purpose… how strange. Barriers are invented to protect, but this one functions as practically a jail cell. It aims not to keep people out, but to trap them within instead. What horrible machinations did that witch have in mind when creating this abomination?

“I can’t see what you’re talking about, your Holiness.” Otto adds, nervous. “If there's some barriers here, perhaps I shouldn’t go further in? It won’t be any trouble for you to break through, I’m sure, but as for me…”

Worrying about his own safety when Otto has her favor? She would have treated that as an insult to her abilities, if she weren’t so familiar with the man and how he thinks. She won’t let any harm come to him if she can help it, but he doesn’t know that yet.

“No need to worry, my dear Otto. You’re certainly less proficient at magic than I am, but you are very talented in other ways.” Natsumi answers him. She’s telling the truth, even if it sounds like she’s only trying to console him. “Plus, I cheated a bit, so you can’t really compare me to you.” 

Otto’s not suited to a straightforward fight, but he is very good at using that blessing of his for intel and sabotage, and sometimes that is what ultimately decides which side has the upper hand.

“Now, onto this little thing we have on our hands. No reason to agonize about how to get in, Otto. I did say it is a very specialized barrier, did I not? It’s tailored to only affect demi-humans, so unless you have something you’re not telling me, you should be fine.” Natsumi gives him a look over, and her eyes settle on the top of his head. “Why, I don’t suppose you’re hiding some cat ears under that hat of yours this whole time?”

“What- I mean- of course not! Why, I’m just a normal merchant doing my dues. Certainly not brave nor foolish enough to hide something from you, miss!” Otto tries to convince her and takes off his hat for good measure. All she sees are his greyish hair, and she smiles at him, delighted. Ah, the antics.

She’s missed this version of him. So lively, so fun to be around, he’s truly a treasure.

“It’s wonderful to have you back by my side. You still haven’t answered me about that job offer I gave you before, but I trust you won’t let me down unless something drastic happens.” She tells him, and sees him turn away to hide a blush. Adorable. “Don’t you go and change on me now, you hear?”

Hmm, Otto doesn’t look too convinced. Yes, Natsumi did ask him to work for her and almost gave him a heart attack in the process a few hours ago, but perhaps he assumed incorrectly that the offer was a whimsical decision of hers. She also might have been acting a bit too familiar with the poor fella, but she can’t help it, see.

Otto was always useful to her, but sometimes he’s forced to embark on a much less forgiving path and end up turning into a merchant of death of sorts. Someone who would save their own skin and have almost no morals limiting them. This Otto reminds her of much better times, like-

When she wasn’t this powerful and he still stood by her with no complaints; when she wasn’t as brave and he helped her do what she needed to; when she was stuck in an unwelcome world and he was one of the few that accepted her. No one remembers these times but her and perhaps, now Reinhard too, but the experiences they shared…

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, that’s what she believes in. The bonds between them shall never be separated, as they were brothers and sisters in everything but name.

Natsumi will make sure a man as loyal as he is gets what he deserves, in every single life he lives. But there’s plenty of time for that later. Now…

“Now, we go inside. Would you be so kind as to drive forward, Otto?” She asks, and they enter without any hassle as Otto exhales deeply. Oh, ye of little faith.

“Well, I sincerely hope there aren’t any more problems for you now. Just drop me off at…” She looks around, and points in the direction where the area with the densest life force is residing. “An encampment there. It’s somewhere in that direction, so keep moving and stop when you see people, then you can be on your merry way! That is, if that’s what you wish.”

Natsumi doesn’t let any emotion leak into her voice, but she’ll be sad to see him leave. They’ll meet again, that’s for certain, but it is only natural that she wants one more familiar face present during her time at the Sanctuary, given that she has had such horrible memories here. But in the end, he’ll be the one to choose whether or not he’ll accept her offer.

She got this strong in order to give her and the people dear to her options, instead of being forced on a path none of them want for themselves. She knows more than anyone how horrible it feels when fate dictates your every move, after all.

“Well- no, I think-” Otto stutters a bit, then seems to muster up some courage. There’s a certain glint in his eyes that Natsumi finds familiar somehow, and he says, “I think I’ll take you up on that offer, your Holiness. That is if- well, if you’d still have me!”

“Excellent! Now, we can hash out the details later, I’m sure a merchant such as you can manage to write up a contract of some sort.” It’s been a long time since she felt this giddy, but everything’s going in her favor, and she can’t help but smile. Her happiness is short-lived, however, as a surge in mana reminds her of why she’s entered this cursed place yet again.

Why to soil her mood. That clown… really is nothing but ill omens, she thinks, as the satisfied look on her face morphs into a frown. “Not right now, though. We have an entire village of missing people that needs guidance. My guidance, to be specific, so onwards!”

The ground dragon bellows, and as she feels the wind hit her face and hears the voices of old friends sound out next to her, she is finally at ease, even without Reinhard by her side.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Even at a place like this, something always brings the two of us together, doesn’t it?” The jester coughs, and  motions for his maid to bring him some water. He’s heavily injured, or so he claims, but Natsumi’s not going to trust one word coming out of his mouth.

Besides, even if Roswaal’s covered all over with bandages, Natsumi knows he’s still a threat. A demon makes itself look beautiful to deceive humans, and who knows what lies under that heavy layer of makeup powder?

Perhaps he is concealing something so horrid, so inhumane, that he needs his exaggerated persona to hide behind. Perhaps he wakes up everyday and puts on a show, hoping no one sees through his antics and his eccentricities.

Too bad for him. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good . Natsumi can’t be fooled by the likes of him.

“Well, I suppose it makes sense. We are both people who cling on to things that only exist long ago, after all. But there is a difference between you and me, see.” Natsumi walks closer, and ignores the maid who stiffens and warns her of her master’s injuries. ”I merely remember the past because it fuels me and pushes me forward. You live in the past, because you don’t see anything worth living for in the present.”

The mage stiffens, and his smile falters slightly. There's a glint in his eye, and it’s a dangerous thing. Ah, bullseye.

None of his annoyance shows however, as Mathers hums, “I see, if that is your perception of me, I apologise for gaining your hostility because of my actions. How unfortunate that I gave you such a horrible impression when we first met, is there anyway I can-”

“Save your breath, deceiver. Your words hold no power nor dominion against me.” Natsumi says, no longer content in dancing to his tune. “You seek those who are weak, those who are vulnerable to use. I can sense it, fool. Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour .”

“I ask you to cease addressing our lord in such a shameful way. Even for an esteemed guest such as your Holiness, please do not disrespect Lord Mathers in his own territory.” The maid speaks up, and oh, how horrible of a transgression it is. She can feel something powerful and ancient inside that petite body, yet its holder is fated to never reach her full potential.

But as that emotion fades, indignation rises up to replace it. “Shameful? Shameful? I have not slandered the lord you serve, I am merely stating facts. If you find those truths disrespectful, then it indicates that the one I'm describing is not worthy of my respect in the first place. I have heard tales of your exploits, Court Mage.” She states his title with a sneering tone, and keeps talking, “How you plucked that silver-haired elf out of isolation in a desolate wasteland, and made use of her desperation for a vial of dragon’s blood in order to cure her kin for your own schemes. And what promises have you whispered in the ears of this oni here, I wonder?”

The person in question flinches, and her eyes darts to her and the mage frantically. Oh, she supposes that this pink-haired girl being an oni is not wild spread knowledge, then?

As much as Natsumi would love to claim the credit for the discovery of her species, it’s thanks to Reinhard that she has this much information on the Emilia camp. It's funny, after so long, she still has yet to know the depths of his amount of Divine Blessings. How blessed she is, to have someone as reliable as a friend.

“Her kind has been decimated during the war you took part in. Have you promised her strength? Salvation? Or simply your head on a platter, after your goals have been achieved?" She leans down to be closer to the maid and her master, and she finally sees his composure crack slightly. “If one of the three I stated is what you desire, then join me instead. You still have great potential, even if you shall never reach the heights you were once capable of. I assure you, I do not care about paltry things such as race. I value loyalty and competence the most among my comrades, and while you only have one trait I wish for, the other will surely come with time.

“Ram refuses your offer.” She says, and Natsumi stops her pursuit.

“It takes extraordinary bravery to decline the offer I’ve graciously extended to you without even taking time to consider it. There’s no need to worry, as I do not take offense to your rejection.” She releases the pressure she was exerting, and she sees Ram loosen up slightly. There’s no point in forcing someone to follow her, after all. In time, they’ll all see the truth.

Besides, she’s got the guts to deny her straight to her face, and she doesn’t hate that.

“As entertaining as watching my staff get poached is, I’m afraid I have to step in.” Mathers cuts in, and he doesn’t sound entertained at all. “The trial that frees us can only be attempted by a demi-human, but I would still like for you to protect the civilians with Garfiel and for you to meet Emilia, the royal candidate I am sponsoring. If that’s no trouble?”

Wonderful, even if Natsumi knows she’s getting roped into another one of his plans, it's simply inconceivable that the Saintess will ignore a request of that nature. She only hopes she remains one step ahead of him at all times during her time at this place, and not the other way around.

Chapter Text

“It wasn’t that bad in the beginning, you know.” Natsumi talks to the spirits, and they flock to her voice, surrounding her. They do not know the words she speaks, but they understand her anyway. “I was thankful that they forgot. The people standing by me are all innocent, and a fate as cruel as this should not befall them. It is fitting that I, a sinner, is the one on the receiving end of a punishment, and I expect to bear this cross until I have atoned.”

But in the end, Reinhard wasn’t content to wait for the world to give her mercy. He’s someone utterly illogical, and shall never bend to the whims of an uncaring world. It’s what drove her to be with him before, even when he didn’t remember.

Natsumi’s companions are absurdly strong, but they can always be felled by crafty tricks, sheer numbers, or simply someone even stronger. You would think that since people who hold titles such as The Greatest Knight are rumoured to be the strongest fighters a country has to offer, the chances of bumping into someone that can best him in her lifetime are miniscule.

She’s a trouble magnet, and she can’t help it. Someone stronger always comes by and takes away what’s hers, while she can do nothing but watch. She would have liked it if she could numb herself after the first few deaths, but unluckily for her-

There’s nothing she doesn’t cherish. Despite living for so long, she never learnt how to close her heart. The first time she saw Emilia die, hurts just as much as the hundredth, and her sentiments are the same regarding every friend.

Except Reinhard, it seems. He never dies, not to adverseries, nor illness, so Natsumi finds it so much easier gravitating towards him. It’s easy to love someone like Reinhard, who shall never rot and leave her behind.

She feels her spirits send her warmth in response to her unstable emotions, and she can’t help but beam at them. How nice, comforting their contractor at her time of need. It’s at times like these she’s thankful for her frankly unfairly high affinity to spirits, which lets her contract almost as many as she wants.

Natsumi’s still missing the sensation of a small hand in her grasp, but she will get Beatrice to join her soon. Two halves of a whole, and neither is truly complete when separated. Truly, they are perfect for each other.

“Another will join your midst. She’s older, wiser, and just as cute as each and every one of you, so treat her well when she gets here, alright?” She asks them and they all let out a faint glow, expressing their excitement. Ah, so eager to meet new friends, how adorable.

Natsumi hears a snore, and glances at the sleeping faces of the temporary residents. That royal candidate… is the one Roswaal sponsors, no? Perhaps this is his way of trying to entice her to join the Emilia Camp, but she has doubts.

She gave it a shot before, and what met her was failure after failure. It’s nothing but a fool’s errand and she’s tired of it. Although with so many more changes this loop, perhaps…

Perhaps it’s once again the time for her to put her thumb on the scales. The end result might not change, but there’s no harm in giving it another go, especially with Reinhard’s help this time.

He’ll be taking care of his liege Felt, who he remains loyal to every loop. Of course, she has no delusions of swaying Reinhard to her side. Since both her and Felt occupy the biggest parts of his heart, asking him to choose between them is quite frankly impossible.

“And too cruel, as well.” Natsumi adds, and she can feel the spirits agree with her, even though she hasn’t been speaking out loud. They’ve met Reinhard in almost every loop, and the spirits usually like him, when he’s not busy sucking all the mana up from their surroundings in a fight.

It’s a useful ability he has, which can render enemy casters useless in a fight, but that applies to his allies as well. It’s fortunate then, Natsumi’s mana has been stored inside her for millennia. She usually draws power from the things around her, to avoid depleting her mana storage, but when fighting side by side with Reinhard, she needs to… break the bank, so to say.

He always thinks it’s a waste when she does so, but Natsumi doesn't think so at all. It’s worth it. Reinhard’s worth it, always.

“It’s not selfish to want to receive the love he gives away so easily, wouldn’t you agree?” She questions, and no response is given. Ah, it’s only natural. These spirits are perfect to her and she wouldn’t dare ask for more, but they’re still minor ones. They understand basic emotions, but not the concept of platonic love.

“Lady, are ya talking to yourself?” Someone asks, and she turns around to look at the one approaching. A bed of golden hair, decent armour, and that warrior’s presence catches her attention, as Garfiel stands next to her. “Yer not crazy too, are ya?”

“Crazy? Sometimes I wonder about that myself, but I haven’t taken that last step into delusion yet, I can assure you. After all, the Lord strikes only heretics with madness, blindness, and the confusion of heart.” She answers the frankly tasteless question, but the boy holds no intention to offend, so she shoos the indignation away. “Now, are you only here to cast doubts upon my sanity, or do you have any pressing concerns to present?”

The spirits are fading now, spooked by another’s sudden presence. Their glow dims into nothingness as the yellow dots littered around her slowly disappear one by one, and the only proof of their existence lies in the contract Natsumi holds in her heart. Ah, he scared her lovelies away, what a shame.

“Of course I do! What, did ya think my amazing self bothered ya just cause I wanted to?” He gets up close, and he’s- really loud, alright. He really doesn’t need to be, since they’re inches apart, but he is.

She catches some of the residents turn over in response to his words, and perhaps Garfiel has woken a few up. He really should use his inside voice more often before a concerned citizen files a noise complaint.

“Very well, do tell me what you wish. And this time, please, keep it down.” Natsumi spreads her arms outwards, and gestures to everyone resting on the floor. “You’ll wake the entire village at this rate. Let them rest, hmm?”

“Oh, that’s fine.” He quiets down slightly. Finally, the boy shows some tact, and she knows there’s a civilised gentleman hiding deep, deep inside, she was just never able to bring that part of him out in loops before. “I’m here to take over, you can rest now. I’ll keep watch for anyone suspicious so the people here can sleep without worry! I’m very strong, see?”

“How considerate. I’ll take you up on that offer, then. If you’d excuse me.” She walks away from her post, ignores Garfiel muttering scary granny behind her back when he thinks she’s not listening, and tries to find anywhere with decent enough space for her to sleep.

She passes by people and tries her best not to alarm them. It’s been a while since she’s slept on the floor, since she was treated like royalty after she decided to stay at Lugunica’s capital for the time being, but Natsumi’s used to it while going on long excursions to all those villages, spreading the faith.

Ah, there’s a decent place there at the corner of the room and there’s only one person occupying it, so she goes closer and takes a look.

That’s Otto. Chances are she might give him a heart attack, making him see her face first thing in the morning when he wakes up. Alright, fate brought her here, and here she shall lie.

She hopes he won’t kick up too much of a fuss when he wakes up.

____________________________________________________________________________

Screaming.

She wakes up to screaming, and immediately prepares for a fight. People who hate her may be few and far between, but as a leading figure of a religion, she has subdued her fair share of assassins. Of course, some of them have gotten lucky once or twice, but once the element of surprise wears off, there really are not a lot of beings stronger than her, in this world.

However, based on the screaming, the attacker must be also targeting innocents as well. They can’t come back when they die, and she swore to never use her ability to kill herself, as it would be a grave sin. It may be too late for some, but she’ll do her best to save what she can.

Natsumi propels herself up with a minor wind spell, and opens her palms with mana brimming at her fingertips. Where-

“Eek!” Someone whimpers, and it’s coming from under her. That mop of hair, it’s awfully familiar. And… is that Otto?

She analyzes the situation quickly. Some of the residents are already awake, and seem startled by the scream. Some are abruptly woken up by that banshee screech of his, and are now sending him some displeased looks. There’s no sign of any struggle, nor the metallic smell of blood that usually follows a fight.

Ah, Natsumi understands now. Otto saw her right next to him when he woke up and screamed. How silly he is. Well, it is partly her fault for testing his bravado like so, but she’s used to him being much braver than this, truthfully.

“Most men would sacrifice quite a lot just to receive my blessing, but you…” She sits back down, and Otto doesn’t look like he’s enjoying the increased proximity between them. “The day after you accept my employment offer, you scream in my face as if I am some disfigured beggar on the streets. If it were anyone except for you, I would take great offense to that. Undoubtedly, fortune favors you, no?”

“Yes, Saintess! Please, excuse my fright. It’s just, I’m used to traveling on my own. To wake up and see your Holiness’ face, well…” He trails off, and doesn’t say one more word as he stands there and fidgets, clearly anxious.

“Ah, well, I don’t mind. People’s been treating me the same, mundane way for ages. It’s boring and very repetitive, so I’m glad for some change.” She tells the man and extends some energy to sooth his nerves a bit. “Really, you’d think someone would wise up and decide to change how they treat me when their bowing and grovelling have never helped them gain my favor, but people are foolish, so perhaps I am expecting too much from them.”

He’s barely listening to her, really. Too tense, too nervous. Natsumi never thought she’d be the one to think this of someone else, but he needs to loosen up a little.

She’s a hypocrite, she knows. She used to be closed off, and very afraid of meeting people she knew before. She doesn’t want to bear the pain of having them look at her like a stranger, but now, things are changing. She’s finally doing well for herself, and she’s happy. All that’s missing is…

Well, Natsumi will pay everyone important to her a visit soon enough, so no use pondering about things that are out of her hands for the moment.

“Alright, well, since you’re already up, it’s only natural that you work. I still haven’t received the contract yet, I’ll have you know.” She helps him stand, and then leads him to the carriage. “Any decent merchant should have a stack of papers on hand, so I expect nothing less from you. Also, do not attempt to go behind my back and add some ridiculous clauses in there, lest I find out and become enraged. I assume you don’t want to make me angry?”

Otto squeaks something out, but he barely makes a sound and she can’t catch it, even with enhanced senses. Oh well, it can't be that important, so she shrugs it off.

Natsumi looks at the horizon, and sees the sun already shining bright. It’s not too early, and she has plans to talk with Emilia before the royal candidate delves into the trials, so she is actually quite busy today. Perhaps Otto waking her up is going to turn out to be useful, after everything.

“Well, even if the way you woke me up wasn’t ideal, I do have to meet with Emilia before the trials, so I suppose I should introduce myself now. You just stay here, alright? Try your best to not get in trouble.” She tells him, and just walks away. She’ll limit her interactions with him, at least until he gets used to being a friend of hers. She won’t just let their past bonds go, however. 

Gone is the girl who was too afraid to reach out and take the first step, and thus lost the friends that could have otherwise given her someone to lean on. Never again, she vows. Never. Again.

Now, time to take the first step to reclaim what was once a beautiful relationship. Her previous liege awaits her, and in her current naive state, surrounded by metaphoric wolves, Natsumi better not be too late.