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Chapter Text

Story One

"Herald, I have your morning meal," Ellana took a deep breath and turned away from the balcony rail and towards the staircase as one of her handmaidens brought in her breakfast. Flinching at the sound of the title and swallowing hard, Ellana walked over to the tray of food.

Interacting with the Elvhen servants who tended to her made Ellana feel a sense of embarrassment and dread. The 'servant become master' would never sit right in her spirit. She did not need anyone to bring her meals and yet, they insisted. "Thank you," Ellana forced. The young woman continued to stand, her eyes wide as if waiting for a follow-up command. "You're dismissed," Ellana unintentionally snapped, causing the maiden to scurry away without making eye contact. Ellana sighed, closing her eyes for a moment.

Before her attention was called away, Ellana had stood at the rail of the balcony astonished at how far she and her group had walked between the Frostbacks and Haven. She relived memories of running towards danger instead of away, like she ordered the others to do. Even through lengthy reflection, she remained conflicted as to why the memory instilled a sense of strength and shame in her.

Could it have been her audacity to command an infantry that did not belong to her. Or was it the guilt of first killing the Human's Divine and then causing the death of many more of her followers. Ellana wondered why the people kept following her orders despite her plans consistently leading to more death, or why they would listen to an outsider who stole so much from peace from them and returned to them such anguish.

Ellana took an involuntary breath while sipping her tea, causing her to choke. She took that as a sign that she needed to push the thoughts away, for now, and focus on getting ready for the day. After eating her prepared meal, she pulled up her curly white hair into a bun, and took one last look in the mirror. Content with what she saw, she proceeded towards the war room, ready to start another day. If I pretend to be alright, I may, one day, believe it, she thought as she walked down the corridor.

Pushing the large wooden doors open, she saw Commander Cullen pacing back and forth reading his daily mail, with one hand on his sword. He clearly had been awake for several more hours than Ellana had. Suddenly, she remembered that she was supposed to train with the soldiers that morning to help them become more practiced in defending against advanced magic.

Ellana sighed, “My apologies Commander, I forgot about this morning. If we –“

“No worries, Your Holiness,” he interrupted, with a wave of his hand “the men were disappointed but there were more than enough mages around who were willing to be of service. I understand that you had a longer night than you anticipated.”

Ellana smiled despite the heat creeping up her neck. If only she was actually qualified for the position thrust upon her. If only…

Her thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of the Spymaster and the Ambassador. “Good morning,” Ambassador Josephine greeted with a wide smile, “Let’s get started shall we. We have lots on the agenda and the Inquisitor has much that has carried over from yesterday.”

“Yes, the guests from Orlais will be arriving by late afternoon, so we should adjourn early so that Your Holiness can finish having her garments made before tonight’s banquet,” continued Spymaster Leliana.

“Understood,” replied the Commander, looking between the three women. The meeting continued as it always did with the three advisors, in heavy debate, while Ellana chimed in with questions, and ultimately made the final decision. Close to the scheduled mid-day break, the meeting ended, apparent that their commitment to ending early was not followed. Luckily for Ellana and the team, the staff had brought refreshments in not long before, which allowed them the opportunity to eat before the day continued.

As the meeting ended, Josephine pulled Ellana to the side, “A word, please.”

“Yes, Josie,” Ellana inquired.

“The seamstress was able to cut the pattern to your dress and the pants to one of your suits. They would like to place the pieces of the dress against you so that they can have at least the dress sewn by early tonight, before the events of course,” she said.

“Of course, but can I have a break, please? Tell them to meet me in my quarters by the late lunch bell.”

“Understood.”

Turning away, Ellana proceeded out into the main hall. Usually, her thoughts drifted towards a certain apostate, whose insights always left her wondering and wanting more information. But today was different, she had not thought about him at all. At least until she saw him walking from the kitchens towards his art space in the Rotunda.

Her original plan was to take a walk around Skyhold or maybe to head to the kitchen and request an actual meal. But she felt herself drifting towards his location. She told herself that it was only to check in on him, he had been back at Skyhold for a week, having left for a month after his friend died.

Thinking back on the memory, Ellana remembered how hurt he was. She saw how the actions of other angered him, and he said that he needed time away. Ellana cringed thinking of herself as his friend, but this “friend,” waited a week to make time to actually check-in. She felt a flush creeping up her neck but pushed it down as she walked towards the Rotunda.

Ellana took a breath and then she pushed open the doors. Solas was sitting at his desk reading. It looked like it was a book, a really old book, with no words on the cover. When he saw her in the doorway, he smiled, “Inquisitor! How may I help you.”

She grimaced at the formality of the title. “I told you before Solas, I would prefer if my ‘friends’ addressed me by my name. We’ve shared tents, fought side-by-side, and shared the burden of being othered. I think we’ve passed formality, so please,” she finished.

“Yes, I apologize Inq–Ellana,” he corrected. “How can I be of service?”

Ellana considered his question. How could he be of service? She looked around thinking, probably longer than would be comfortable. “Um, I wanted to see how you're doing. If you were adjusting back to your duties, well?” she stumbled through her words. She could feel the heat rising on her cheeks. If Solas noticed, he did not let on. 

“I see. I think I am adjusting well. I spent some time in the basement library this morning. The place is desperate for a cleaning, but the books! What lost knowledge exists in those rooms, I think I will be making frequent trips for at least a few weeks.”

“That’s good to hear,” she smiled at him, thinking to herself how lovely it was. Too bad she hadn’t got the chance to see a true, wide smile from him often. “If you ever want to talk about what happened, I can always find time.”

“Thank you, Ellana,” he replied, looked long at her eyes, searching for…something…something that she would never know and then looked down at his book. Ellana continued to look at him, wondering what he was thinking. A part of her may have even hoped he was thinking about her. He looked back up and noticed that she was still there staring at him. “Is there anything else?” His brows were raised, hopeful.

“I was going to ask you more about your journey, but I’m interested in what you found downstairs,” she looked at the book in his hands and then walked closer to his desk. He watched as she approached, his interest growing. “But, I don’t have a lot of time; I need to meet the garment maker soon. Which reminds me, will you be making an appearance at the banquet tonight?”

Solas laid his book down on the table at the question. Ellana watched his hands, his slender fingers, spread wide along the book cover… Ellana caught herself and returned her eyes to his face. “I did not realize I was invited. I did not think that having an apostate Elvhen mage at an Orlesian soiree would earn you a positive reputation with the Orlesian court,” he said sarcastically.

“You’re always invited Solas. And if anyone has a problem, they can kick rocks,” Ellana did a kicking motion with her foot, which earned a chuckle from Solas. Solas raised his brows and looked at her while shaking his head. He had cusped his hands in his lap and leaned back in his chair, relaxed. Ellana imagined herself sitting in his lap…one leg on either side of his hips. Ellana physically shook those thoughts from her head, earning a concerned look from the Elf.

“Are you okay?” he asked concerned.

Ellana could feel herself warming up. “I have to go; I think I’ve used all the free time I have.” She quickly turned away and out the doors of the Rotunda. She silently cursed herself. The shame returning. A holy example was what she was supposed to be presenting herself as. A holy example who had lustful thoughts of a man devoting himself to a holy cause, a man who just lost one of his closest friends. A holy example who could not even bring herself to believe in the religion of the people who propped her up on the pedestal she did not ask for. Her thoughts drifted from Solas to her being a disgrace of an Inquisitor. An Inquisitor who could not follow orders, and Inquisitor who couldn’t make it on time to train her own soldiers, an Inquisitor who could barely make herself presentable every morning.

Ellana, lost in her thoughts, found herself back in her room, where Vivienne, Josephine, and the garment maker, Fiona, were busy in discussion about her gown for the evening. “The design is beautiful, darling, don’t misunderstand, but what about it makes the Inquisitor stand out from the crowd? The color is the color of the season, so everyone else will be wearing it as well. So, what would make Ellana special?” Vivienne gestured towards the fabric laid out on Ellana’s bed.

“We could incorporate an aspect of the Inquisitor’s Dalish heritage, like a headpiece or arm jewelry.” Josephine added hopefully. Ellana grimaced at the suggestion. “Oh Inquisitor, your just in time!” Josephine turned towards Fiona, “would we have time to add something like that?”

“I don’t know if that would be wise, the Orlesians already don’t seem so happy that their Herald is Elvhen,” Ellana added dryly walking to sit on the side her bed that was not covered in fabric. As the three women continued to discuss, Ellana rubbed her hand over the deep red fabric, she had never worn anything of this quality, let alone have a gown made to her body. Ellana thought of her clan, if Clan Lavellan would ever benefit from the fruits of her labor. If they would ever know what it’s like to have this privilege.

Ellana stood and walked to her private wardrobe, undressed, and put on a robe. When she returned, two female Elvhen servants moved to begin pinning the pieces of unsown fabric to her body. The three human women had turned to the other matters of Ellana’s evening attire. “So, what will be done about the Inquisitor’s hair and makeup?” Fiona inquired gesturing in Ellana’s direction.

“From my understanding, the Inquisitor would prefer us to no longer straighten her hair and not to cover her tattoos,” Vivienne answered for Ellana, a tone of annoyance laced in her words.

Ellana looked at Vivienne, the anger and fatigue present on Ellana’s face. “My tattoos are called Vallaslin. And about my hair…I was hoping that I could have the front braided back and the back loose.” Ellana felt nervous about asserting this want of hers. When she first expressed to Josephine and Vivienne that she no longer wanted them to have her hair straightened both women were surprised, as they thought she would rather have it straight. They reasoned the combination of her white hair, white Vallaslin, and the fact she was Elvhen already made her stand out enough as it was.

“Well, you need to still wear some makeup,” Vivienne responded, “even if you do avoid covering the Vallaslin.” Ellana nodded in concession. “Josie, when do they arrive to do her hair?”

“I will be welcoming them with the arrival of our guests, which allows enough time for the gown. And how is that going?” Fiona had since joined her assistants fussing with the gown. Most pieces had been pinned marked and removed from Ellana’s body and placed on the chair near her desk. On her desk a sewing machine had been placed, with two other machines set up next to her desk. Fiona set up her machine to begin the sewing process.

“Preparing to sew, Ambassador. We should be okay for final fitting by the bell for early dinner.” Fiona answered without looking up.

Once all pieces of fabric were removed from Ellana’s body, she was allowed to re-dress in her clothing. This time Ellana dressed in something more formal, something appropriate to the welcome of officials. “That’s a perfect choice Inquisitor,” Josephine praised assessing her.

“Ellana, please,” Ellana begged.

“Sorry, I will try to remember, Ellana. We can let the ladies work while we welcome the guests. Thank you Vivienne for allowing us to use your seamstress.”
“No worries, darling. Anything for the cause,” Vivienne offered standing to leave with the other two women.

When the three women got to the door of Ellana’s chambers. Vivienne took her leave to prepare to meet some of her personal guests. Josephine and Ellana made their way towards the gates of Skyhold, but not before stopping at Josephine’s office to pick up the formal announcements for each arrival.

As the two walked towards the gate Ellana looked up towards the walkway that connected the Rotunda and Cullen’s office. To her surprise she saw Solas standing there, people watching, and seemingly in thought. He caught her gaze and smiled down at her. She took his smile as a reassurance, and she felt herself straightened a bit. She smiled back and gave a hidden wave. Solas nodded at her and turned toward the opening gate.

Ellana stood straight and confident as the upper-class of Orlais began filling through the Skyhold Gates. As Josephine announced and welcomed each guest, Ellana welcomed them with a personal greeting. “Welcome to Skyhold, home of the Inquisition,” was her go-to phrase. Many nobles arrived with their own servants in-tow, which caused Ellana to be concerned with space. Ellana was also concerned that the Orlesians would also bring their own prejudices with them and would impose their beliefs on the Elvhes who served the Inquisition.

She attempted to push those thoughts aside, opting to focus on Josephine’s announcements. As the announcements continued, Ellana looked back up to the spot she last saw Solas in and to her surprise he was still standing there. He watched her silently and when he noticed her, smiled and nodded. She smiled at him and then focused on her duty.

***

Once all guests were announced, Ellana was ushered back to her quarters to begin preparing for the evening. When Ellana arrived, Leliana was there waiting for her with a tray of cheese, dried meat, and fruit. “I brought this because I assume you didn’t find time to eat,” Leliana offered. “Your holiness, I also wanted to talk to you about some of the guests who’ve joined us.” Ellana had begun to undress and was preparing to bathe. Leliana continued, “As I’ve told you before, Orlesians play ‘The Game.’ Do you remember what I said regarding that?”

“I remember,” Ellana answered while stepping into the bath her handmaiden, Seraelia, had drawn for her. Ellana mouthed a quiet ‘thank you,’ to Seraelia who lowered her head and ducked out of the room.

“Good,” Leliana continued, “It is important to keep that in mind tonight. Hopefully, being in an unfamiliar place will throw the Orlesians off their game and they divulge information that the Inquisition could use. Remember we need many different types of allies in the fight against Corypheus.” And with that Leliana left Ellana in the bath alone to finish bathing.

When Ellana had finished bathing, Seraelia helped her into her undergarments and the seamstress team began the final dress fitting. It went a lot quicker than Ellana thought it would, which allowed her time to eat the food Leliana had brought her. The ladies who Vivienne invited to style Ellana’s hair arrived at her quarters soon after she finished eating. They listened to the style that Ellana wanted, one asking if she would rather place her loose curls into a bun. “No, thank you,” was all that Ellana replied. Next was her make-up, the ladies applied they make-up and then used a swab to remove the makeup that covered her Vallaslin.

After everyone was done, Seraelia helped Ellana into her dress. “You look beautiful, Herald,” Seraelia grinned at Ellana through the mirror. Seraelia was right, Ellana thought to herself. Ellana could not remember the last time she looked this nice or wore a dress that felt this good. Ellana glanced over at the shoes that were picked out for her and grimaced. Turning back to the mirror Ellana was in awe in how the shade of red complimented her honey-colored skin, and how the whiteness of her hair and Vallaslin also complimented the color. Ellana smiled at herself and then heard someone coming up the staircase that led to the great hall.

“Maker’s breath, Ellana, you look amazing.” Ellana turned to see Dorian looking as handsome as always, but this time dressed in evening finery. “I hope you don’t mind, Josephine asked me to check on you and see if you were almost ready for the dinner.” He walked over to her couch and sat on it.

“Okay, I’m ready.” Ellana said suddenly unsure. A moment ago, she was confident in her beauty and now with the prospect of showing herself off to strangers, she had lost all confidence. She took another look at herself and took a deep breath, sighing in defeat.

“Are you okay?” Dorian asked concerned, his brows furrowed together.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Ellana responded unconvincingly. She smiled a toothy grin, avoiding eye contact.

“Ellana, be honest. Are you okay?” Dorian asked a second time, this time more serious than the first. She noticed that his voice was noticeably deeper and sterner than his usual way of talking.

Instead of trying to dodge his questioning with a façade, Ellana decided to be honest. “I’m worried, I won’t make a good impression. The Orlesians already have an opinion of who and what I am. No amount of expensive fabric is going to change that.”

Dorian stood next to her. They both looked at her in the mirror and Dorian smiled down at Ellana. “Inquisitor Lavellan,” he began. “You are the first Inquisitor named in 800 years. The Herald of Andraste, First of Clan Lavellan. A prophecy incarnates and one of the finest mages I have ever fought beside. No amount of hatred can change that.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “They could say many things about you, but at least they can’t say you’re ugly. Can’t say that about me either!” He added laughing, “I do look really nice.”

Ellana took his words to heart “Thank you Dorian. That really means a lot.” After a moment, she added. “Okay, now I’m actually really ready.” Ellana allowed Dorian to help her pull on her shoes and the two of them exited her quarters.

In the time it took Ellana to prepare for the evening, the hall had been transformed. All the furniture was rearranged, and a giant table was placed in the center. The table stretched the length of the hall and could easily hold at least fifty people. People were milling about; some were on tours of the grounds, and many were lingering waiting for dinner to start. Dorian had suddenly disappeared, leaving Ellana to figure out what to do. Maybe Josie is outside waiting for me, Ellana hoped.
Ellana walked outside of the hall and stood at the entrance, she did not see the Ambassador, but she could see the tavern was busy with everyone who either was not on the guest list for tonight or preferred to skip out on the affair. Ellana wished she were at the tavern right now, without a care in the world, with no weight on her shoulder. But she is the Inquisitor, and she had to put on a good show. That did not change the fact that the weight was weighing heavy on her this evening. Honestly, she wanted to cry but she knew she couldn’t, especially because she didn’t want to ruin her make-up.

As she stood in quiet contemplation, she heard footsteps approach from behind. She turned; it was Solas. “Good evening Ellana,” he said stopping next her, he looked at her and smiled. He also looked down at what she was wearing taking in all of her. Only a moment and then his careful composure was returned. He was resolved to maintain eye contact and added, “You look beautiful.” This caused Ellana to blush and her entire body felt hot. She turned away from him and crossed her arms protectively around herself.

“Th-thank you,” she said pushing an invisible stray hair behind her ear. She remembered how now too long ago she stood in the mirror questioning her beauty. “I did not expect to see you make an appearance tonight.” Solas never turned his gaze away from her even as Ellana looked towards the tavern. The tips of Solas’ ears had turned red, which was something Ellana did notice, almost immediately. This brought her some joy.

He took a moment to pause before he began. “Master Tethras invited me to the tavern. There is some sort of party happening for all those who ‘weren’t important enough’ to be invited to the Orlesian party,” Solas said and then added, “Those were Varric’s exact words, I had no opinion on the importance of anyone invited or uninvited.”

“I see. Did you tell him that I personally invited you tonight?” Ellana asked with a side-eye.

“I did not, no, I should have. I apologize, I did not realize that your invitation was sincere,” Solas rubbed the back of his neck, “If I had known, I would have joined you this evening. I imagine that carrying the weight of the evening must be tough.”

You have no idea, Ellana thought to herself. “It’s okay Solas. But, yes, I would have loved to be able to have your support tonight.” She turned to Solas and smiled; he smiled back. She noticed that his gaze moved down to her lips but then as fast as she saw he looked away. “Do you have any words of wisdom?”

He paused, considering his next words. “Would it be cruel to tell you to be yourself?” At that, Ellana rolled her eyes. Solas then added with a smile, “You have shown to have more wisdom than most. I would rely on what your spirit tells you. It has yet to lead you astray.”

It was Ellana’s turn to look at his lips. How desperately she wanted to kiss him, skip the party, and hide away with him. She looked away, pushing those thoughts away, that was not what her destiny had for her. Almost as if he could read her thoughts, “Well, I should go. I hope you have a wonderful night Inquisitor.” She watched as Solas walked down the staircase leading to the tavern. In that moment, Ellana would have killed to be anyone else other than her.

Chapter Text

Story Two

The nights had been long since relocating to Skyhold. Inquisition duties always seemed to linger past the early dinner bell, sometimes lasting until the last dinner bell. This night was one of those nights. Ellana had her meal in the privacy of her quarters, her handmaiden Seraelia bringing her a tray at her request. Seraelia herself had retired for the evening, leaving Ellana alone with herself and her work. Letters upon letters littered about. Letters that would have to wait until tomorrow. Ellana yawned and looked toward the staircase; her eyes lowered.

Ellana thought of Solas, as she often did since their kiss in the fade. She showed her eager need then, and he showed his. The dream felt like it ended so fast but in reality it was the whole night. That morning when she asked him about it, he tried to be coy. She joked and he relaxed. She expressed her interest in him, but he said he must consider some things. That was a week ago now, and Ellana was learning a new lesson in patience.

Solas said she showed Wisdom, Ellana wanted to prove him right. Prove she could be wise and patient. A patience that was eating Ellana up inside. If she couldn’t be patient, it would definitely ruin things with Solas, and it would be yet another thing she had failed in. Ellana felt the uneasiness rise in her stomach, the nausea. She could not fail; she needed to wait. But being patient did not mean she could not think about him.

Ellana sighed. Despite her need to dote on the idea of Solas, a part of her still felt ashamed of her feelings. Ellana felt that she needed to convince herself that she was not taking advantage of the elf. That her status as The Inquisitor of the Holy Chantry and Solas’ fear of retribution were the reasons he was interested in her. Maybe, that is what he needed to consider. How as Inquisitor, it may look as if she favored him in her choices. That would be true though, Ellana thought to herself. Ellana’s decisions did favor Solas. And ever since she realized what she felt for him, that favor followed shame. Has she ever put the best plan to the leeway? All in hopes of spending time with the mage.

As the thought entered Ellana’s mind, she pushed it away. Mentally pushing the thought away and physically pushing herself from her desk. She grabbed one of her books, the title didn’t matter, she wasn’t going to be reading anyway and walked to her bath. She drew a bath and warmed it with her magic. Ellana striped down and lowered herself into the water. The book lay open on the floor.

Ellana wanted to clear her head, and she hoped the change in body temperature would help. She took a deep breath and began recounting the day’s activities. She had met Varric privately that morning, and he introduced her to his friend Hawke. Apparently, Varric and Hawke were in Kirkwall during the mage rebellion. Varric explained that Cassandra had been looking for Hawke for a while and asked if Ellana would keep their presence a secret. It ultimately would not matter, Hawke planned to depart shortly after they arrived, needed to meet a “Grey Warden contact”. Hawke promised to send word once this “contact”, was located for Ellana to meet and Ellana agreed.

The rest of the morning was spent in the War Room. Appointment after appointment, many people needed to meet with the Inquisitor and argued their worth. Plea with the Herald to help them in any way they could. Ellana had received a word from her Clan while they were still stationed in Haven. Keeper Lavellan had sent a letter inquiring about the well-being of their First. Leliana had suggested that she allow Ellana to send some of her elven agents to deliver something as a show of good faith. Ellana agreed with the suggestion and this morning a letter was delivered in turn. In the letter, Keeper Lavellan seemed pleased with Ellana’s safety and offered the aid of Clan Lavellan if needed.

The news pleased Ellana, but she was disappointed that her clan refused to physically join the Inquisition. Ellana understood why the Keeper refused but it still stung. She thought back to everything she gave and sacrificed for the safety of Clan Lavellan. To her it seemed that she was always sacrificing herself, her morals, her dignity for the benefit of someone or something else. Whether it be Clan Lavellan or the Inquisition. Ellana wondered how long it would take for her to accept that her life would never be hers to live.

Maybe that is why this relationship with Solas is so important to her. Ellana was willing to wait for however long until he was ready. Maybe this time, Ellana could be selfish and reclaim a piece of herself back. Ellana smiled to herself with her eyes closed, nodding in agreement with her mind. She laid her head back against the edge of the tub and looked towards the ceiling. Ellana would allow herself to think about Solas openly, in quiet resistance to her current circumstances.

First she thought about his eyes. He had hooded eyelids and thick dark eyebrows. She wondered if his eyebrows were the color his hair used to be before he became bald. Ellana assumed there was a time when Solas had hair. How old is Solas anyway? Ellana filed that question away for later. Next, she thought about how violet his eyes were, how they darkened when he came within close proximity to her face. He had squinted a bit before he kissed her, obscuring his eyes. When he pulled back, his pupils blown wide. Ellana thought they were the most beautiful things, even though they shared the same eye color. On him they seemed, different.

Second, she thought about his lips, full and pink. They were soft. She could feel the care Solas put into his lips when they were placed against hers. She remembered how they felt the first, second, and third time against her mouth. And how when came his tongue touched hers…. “Creators!” Ellana accidentally said loudly into the empty air. His tongue was soft, a gentle warmth melting onto her own. The memory of the sensation sent shivers down her back. She pushed the thought further, imagining the feel of Solas’ tongue sliding across her jaw and down her neck. She imagined him licking across her clavicle and biting down.

“Fhenedis,” Ellana whispered while biting down on her lip, hard. She wrapped her arms around herself, imagining it was his arms. Then she imagined his hand traveling farther down, as her own hand followed. Ellana could feel herself warming up and suddenly the bathwater was too hot, feeling like she could pass out at any moment.

She shook her head clear and finished bathing. Her skin suddenly became very sensitive to the touch. She got out of the tub, dried herself, and dressed in her nightgown. Actually, Ellana thought to herself before she put on a different set of more casual clothing. She had decided that she wasn’t ready for bed. She would pay Solas a visit.

Nights at Skyhold were quiet with most people either already in bed or at the tavern. When Ellana pushed open the Rotunda door, she didn’t see Solas at his desk. She hoped him to be in his personal quarters. So, she walked over and racked her knuckles against the door, “Who is it?” she heard him say from the other side.
“It’s Ellana,” she said leaning her forehead and nose against the large wooden frame, her breath hot as she talked against the wood, her hand pressed flat against the door itself. She heard footsteps and then the door opened.

Solas was dressed in a thin linen shirt and a pair of navy-blue leggings. He looked ready for bed and to Ellana, so good. “Good evening, Ellana. I’m surprised to see you at my door at this hour. Is everything okay?” He looked down at her with mix of worry and intrigue.

Ellana looked up at him. She honestly forgot to come up with an excuse as to why she needed his attention, other than the obvious, but she couldn’t tell him that. Ellana quickly raked her brain for something, anything. “I couldn’t sleep and was wondering if you could tell me more about some of your journeys though the fade. I hoped that those memories would help lull me to sleep.”

“Is that right,” he said raising an eyebrow. He bit his bottom lip and said, “come in.” Ellana walked into his room, and he closed the door behind him. Ellana realized she had never been in his room before; she saw a chair next to a small table and she sat there. The table was piled with books and there were books on the floor next to the table as well.

Solas sat at the edge of his bed. “Sorry, I don’t have another chair. Honestly, I don’t get many visitors to my room.” Ellana blushed and Solas noticed, “I didn’t mean…excuse me Ellana, it’s been some time.” Ellana could be Solas ears becoming a deep shade of red and it was beginning to spread down to his cheeks. Ellana looked away and so did he.

“As you’ve said before,” Ellana reminded, her voice low and leading. She glanced in his direction, and he was still looking away.

“So, you wanted to hear about one of my journeys,” Solas asked suddenly, reminding her why she was present, “Well, technically it would be a memory, but, well, let’s see.” He looked around considering. Ellana watched him and studied his eyes and mouth. She privately wished he would invite her to his bed. The thought caused a warmth to grow within her.

Solas proceeded to describe to Ellana a memory of a friendly matchmaking spirit. One who guided village girls with love in their hearts to gentle boys who would return their love with gentle kindness. Ellana thought it was a funny and fitting choice given the current state of their relationship. “Any reason you chose that memory, Solas?”

Solas raised his eyebrows in surprise, apparently unaware of the connection. When the look of realization crossed his face, the color returned to his ears as he maintained eye contact with Ellana. “Hmm, well, no, but I guess it was a fitting choice.” He smiled at himself and rubbed his bald head. Ellana watched him carefully, suddenly feeling very, very brave.

Ellana rubbed her forearm and inquired. “What do you think about when you’re alone Solas?”

“What–“

“What do you think about when you’re alone?” she asked mischievously, holding steady eye contact.

“I...,” he rubbed his head again, “I guess I think about things I experienced while exploring the fade. As of late, I have been thinking about the artifacts the Inquisition gathers, and I think about the anchor attached to your arm.”

“Do you ever think about me?”

“Of course, especially about the stability of the anchor.”

“No, do you ever think about me? I was thinking about you earlier when I–“ The reality of the words that were about to leave Ellana’s mouth. She remembered she was not as bold of a person she was pretending to be. She also remembered that she was supposed to be honoring Solas’ request, and she was letting her arousal to guide her actions. A flash of hot embarrassment crossed her mind. Ellana cleared her throat, noticing the look on Solas’ face. “Excuse me, that was inappropriate of me. I should leave.” Ellana suddenly stood to leave, triggering Solas to stand abruptly as well.

“Ellana wait,” he reached his arm out as if to stop her, “I am not offended.” He walked over and bent down for only her to hear, even though there was no one else present. His frame against hers, she suddenly became aware of his size, his presence. She felt like a rabbit before a wolf. “If you are truly interested. I have thought about you often these last few days. About your lips and they would look repeating my name. Or how your breath would feel against my neck.” Solas paused for a moment, and Ellana could feel the warmth of his breath against her nape. She filed the sensation away in her mind for later. “Looks like we have been thinking about each other, I will keep that in mind.” He stood straight and walked towards the wooden door. He opened it for her to leave, “I hope you have a good night.”

Ellana walked towards the door and stopped in the doorway. She turned towards Solas, who was looking down at her with an expectant look. But Ellana was too unsure to make the first move, already given up the façade of confidence. She turned away and walked back to her room, stunned at her own forwardness.
She lay in bed, thinking about Solas’ words and how close he was. His warm breath in her ear and on her neck. She hoped he could smell her perfume, her soap. And she thought about him until she fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Story Three

The Inquisition had been tasked with an expedition to the Emerald Graves. Ellana was displeased to learn that the ancient elven burial ground had recently been occupied by Orlesians. This displeasure Ellana spent a great deal of time ruminating on while staring at the large Knight Guardian statue that sat in the middle of the occupied scout camp. In this forest in the Dales, once known as the Emerald March, a tree grows for every Elvhen knight who died in the Dales, protecting the region from the humans during their Exalted March.

“In the days of Elvhen Halamshiral, wolf companions walked alongside Emerald Knights, never leaving the side of their chosen knight. Wolf and elf would fight together, eat together, and when the knights slept, wolves would guard them,” Solas whispered to Ellana as she silently stared at the Knight Guardian statue.

Earlier that day, Ellana and the company had met with a man who called himself "Fairbanks." Fairbanks welcomed the Inquisitor's aid in dealing with the Freemen, Red Templars, and Venatori. At this point, Ellana had become well acquainted with Red Templars and Venatori, but not with Freemen who Fairbanks warned are quite dangerous. Ellana had agreed to help Fairbanks and his refugees.

While traveling the roads in the Graves, looking for a suitable place to set up camp, Ellana and company encountered these Freemen attacking a scouting patrol consisting of three of Fairbanks' refugees. The team easily killed the Freemen and invited the refugees to set up camp with the Inquisition for the night before making their way back to their refugee camp.

These three refugees were now sitting around the fire of the camp having their wounds tended to by a couple of mage healers. Nearby, Dorian and the Iron Bull were sitting at a table playing Chess. Ellana had noticed that the two of them were getting closer recently. I’ll have to ask Dorian about that later, Ellana thought to herself smiling.

She continued to stand next to Solas, silently, lost in her thoughts. “You look a thousand miles away,” Solas offered when it was clear Ellana was not going to respond to his anecdote about the Graves.

“I guess I got that from you,” Ellana teased. They had made their relationship official a little over a month ago when she found Solas in her room. He had asked her about her spirit and then let her know that he never stopped thinking about her. “I was debating whether or not those two are sleeping together.” Ellana motioned to where Bull and Dorian were engrossed in both their game and each other.

“Oh, um, they do seem to be getting along better than they used to,” Solas said sheepishly. “I never gave the state of their relationship much consideration.”
“Oh, no?” Ellana started, “Too much time thinking about us sleeping together?”

“It’s not that much,” Solas said taking the bait, “It’s a normal- Ellana that’s not…” He groaned. Ellana had become amused by how flustered she could make him and spent more time than necessary trying to get a reaction out of him.

Solas turned away, his ears reddening, as one of the refugees approached the couple. “Excuse me, Inquisitor Lavellan?”

“How may I help you?” Ellana asked in return.

Nervously, the refugee answered, “I wanted to thank you for saving our lives earlier.” And even more nervously, the refugee asked, “I had another favor to ask of you if it’s alright.”

“What’s your name?” Ellana inquired.

The refugee answered, looking towards the ground, “Seraphina.”

“Seraphina, how can the Inquisition be of service to you and your people?” Ellana genuinely asked.

“I was wondering if the Inquisition was still looking for volunteers. Everything has been taken from me, and I thought about finding purpose with Fairbanks. But I believe that fate made our paths cross today and that Andraste has called me to serve the Inquisition. So, I humbly extend my life for the cause.” Seraphina bowed her head in respect and crossed her arm in reverence.

“Okay then, Seraphina, you have been accepted into the Inquisition. Talk to one of the scouts near the larger tents and they will give you more information.” Seraphina bowed and scurried off to a newer, higher purpose.

“The people really look up to you ma’lath, luckily for them, your spirit is nothing but benevolent,” Solas added once the recruit was out of earshot.

Ellana turned to him and grinned, “Sweet talker. But seriously, I fear the way you view me is much more idealistic than what I really am. If you were to know what thoughts run through my head…”

“The matter isn’t up for debate,” Solas said plainly with a frown. Ellana had learned that certain topics Solas had no capacity to entertain and one of those was Ellana’s propensity for self-depreciation. Ellana took a deep sigh and sat on the grass against the Knight Guardian statue. A concerned scout ran over and asked if she wanted a chair to sit on. Ellana declined the offer, and the scout ran off still concerned about his Heral sitting in the dirt.

Solas sat down next to Ellana; the side of their legs almost touched. In the beginning of their relationship, Solas had voiced concerns to Ellana about the public opinion about their relationship, if her reputation would be a concern for the Inquisition. He had explained to her that many of her connections relied on her reputation and being with an apostate Elf may not serve her any favors. Ellana knew Solas was right, but Ellana could not bring herself to care. She wanted Solas more than anything, even if it ruined the Inquisition’s reputation and costed her everything.

Still, Solas was not a fan of displaying his affection in public, opting for quiet whispers and moments in private. Any unsuspecting person would assume the two of them were really good friends, but Ellana could not help herself. Ellana reached towards Solas’ leg, wanting to rub his upper thigh. “Vhenan, we’re in public.”

“I know,” she pulled her hand back into her lap and turned towards him. She studied his profile, his forward bridge, his full lips, and his lean jaw. He always looked like he was battling something or someone in his mind, but he never wanted to talk about it. Ellana assumed it was related to some horrible event in his past. She had heard him talking to Blackwall about war and the toll it took. Ellana wondered if Solas had nightmares but if he did he never told her. Maybe he was like Cullen and been forced to do things he did not want to people who did not deserve it. Ellana knew if she had, she would have nightmares too.

Ellana noticed that Solas had noticed her staring at him. He was looking back at her through his periphery. She wondered if Solas had experienced any memories while in the Fade during the night. “Can you tell me a memory about this place?” Ellana asked.

Solas considered and leaned his head against the base of the statue. He looked up into the trees and began, “Long ago when Elvhes still walked these lands, an Emerald Knight fell in love with a human woman and she with him. As their relationship remained secret, the Emerald Knight’s unexplained visits to the human town led the other Elvhes to fear that he would convert to the Maker and betray their secrets. When the Knight left before he could be questioned, his sister led a group of knights to the village to either convince him to return with them or bring him to justice. When they reached the town, the Knight’s lover spotted them first. She started racing towards them with something in her hand; his sister slew her with an arrow. The townsfolk attacked the Elvhes after hearing the girl's scream but were defeated. The knights retreated when more humans came, but our hero wouldn't be moved and was killed by their arrows, his body dumped in the river.”

“Why tell me this,” Ellana asked concerned, the weight of the story clear on her face.

“These events marked the beginning of war between Orlais and the Dales,” Solas said. “And you did ask.” Ellana considered his words and remembered how she ruminated while staring at the wolf statue. She turned up towards the world statue and then down towards her hands. She wondered if it was wrong for her to be happy that she was born during the present time rather than during the events of the war.

***

That night, Ellana asked if Solas wanted to share a tent with the new recruits they picked and the Inquisition members who arrived that afternoon, space was becoming scarce. Solas hesitated at the question, asking if she would prefer not to have the tent for herself. When Ellana asked if he would rather spend the night with Dorian and Bull, he changed his tune.

After settling in and changing clothes, Ellana had begun to braid her hair, when Solas asked if he could braid it for her. Ellana was surprised at the offer, asking where he learned to braid. “Remember I did have a life before we met,” he answered simply, “And besides, I wasn’t always bald.” Ellana giggled at the additional information. He decided to braid the hair into four plaits, which extended down her back.

Ellana did not press further; Solas did not seem interested in expounding on his time before the Inquisition. “Do you know how to braid in different styles?”
“Styles…what do you mean?”

“Like, if I asked you to braid upwards into a bun.”

He considered, “I probably could, it doesn’t seem like it would be too different than what I am doing now. However, I expect that the new angle would take me longer to master than you would want to sit.”

“I wouldn’t mind. This is nice.” Ellana smiled and then let him focus on his task. Admittedly, the task took longer than what it would have taken Ellana to complete but having him in her hair felt amazing.

“Can I have a kiss?” Ellana asked after it was clear he was finished. He looked really proud of his work. Solas leaned down and placed a kiss to her lips, Ellana leaned up into the kiss adding pressure. He used his tongue to part her lips and she eagerly allowed him inside. They kissed, tongues dancing until he found himself on top with her underneath. Solas pulled back; his violet eyes darkened as he looked down at her. Her lips red and swollen, she looked back up, eyes searching.

“What’s wrong?”

“Something seems wrong about taking you in the dirt,” he said looking at the ground above her head.

“I’m Dalish, you wouldn’t be the first guy to take me in the dirt.” At Ellana’s retort, Solas grimaced, clearly displeased with what she said. “Besides, it’s not like our first time together would be in the dirt” He grimaced again, “First time in a bed, second time in the mud. I think there’s something poetic in that.” Ellana smiled boldly and Solas scowled.

He grunted at the way Ellana wriggled her eyebrows at him. It was true, if they continued it would be their second time together. The first time had been a week after they met on her balcony, Ellana had found Solas late one night, after he thought everyone was sleeping, stuffing himself with cakes in the Skyhold kitchen. She joked that he was like a child sneaking cookies and told him if he wanted his own supply of sweets, he could have asked.

Honestly, Ellana was awake for the same reason, she made a point to convince everyone that she was not into sweets, but secretly there were a select few that Ellana really liked, and those were the same ones that she had found Solas inhaling. Since no one was around to care, Ellana invited him to her room so that they could indulge in their sweets together. They had sex for the first time that night. Seraelia, Ellana’s handmaiden, found them together the next morning, which mortified Solas. Ellana was amused about how private and self-conscious Solas was about his body, or maybe he was self-conscious about the serving staff knowing about his sex life. Admittedly, the servants had a gossip network that rivaled Leliana’s spies.

Solas was clearly unamused that Ellana was not taking their intimacy as seriously as he was. “Poetic?” Solas frowned, somehow his scowl deepened even further.
“Yeah, poetic, like a poem. You have to admit, there are worse locations.” Solas rolled his eyes. Ellana realized she may be talking her way out of any sort of intimacy this evening. She considered her options quietly, “What I meant to say was, I would be honored to join with you wherever destiny takes us.” Ellana leaned up and kissed him, Solas leaned down to deepen the kiss. Ellana pulled away remembering Solas’ hesitation, “Would you be against ‘taking me in the dirt?’ Because if you are, we don’t have to.”

“That wasn’t what I was suggesting. I was just…never mind. I have nothing against the location. I am glad to be here with you.” Solas smiled and leaned down, pressing Ellana into her bedroll. Ellana’s heartbeat quickened at the sudden weight of him against her. He pressed his forehead against hers and slowly kissed her. She could feel the heat of his breath against her face. Her face was equally warm and so was the temperature growing below her. She felt both her desire and the pressure of the hardening mass that was pressed against her thigh.

It was moments like these when Ellana was alone with Solas, where she could forget all her worries. When she was alone with him, she did not have to be Inquisitor Lavellan or the Herald of Andraste. Ellana did not have to lead an army or make dangerous calls. She did not have to maintain supplies to refugees or prove her worth. Ellana could just be herself and want without anything in return. With Solas, she could have all of him and ask him to be nothing else but himself. He did not shame her for wanting him and he was more concerned about her pleasure than his own.

Her breath caught as he sat up to take off his tunic, his shadow falling over her. It was almost too dark to see, but she did not need her eyes for what was about to happen. When Ellana raised up to remove her own blouse, Solas’ presence felt almost too close. Under him, it seemed as if every inch of her body hummed with the electric tension between them. They continued until they were both nude, physically and spiritually. Their sex was not slow, and it certainly was not gentle. It was raw, urgent, as though both of them had been holding their breath for far too long. Each of Solas’ thrusts were insistent, he pressed into her body as if a demand, not a request. With every thrust of his hips, Ellana’s body surged forward to meet his, every inch of her body felt alive with the magic between them.

***

After a long night, Ellana slept in until her body woke naturally. She was saddened to see that Solas had risen before her and was not in the tent. She quickly dressed, left her hair in the braids, and exited the tent. She saw Dorian, Bull, and Solas sitting together near the tent at an open fire. She approached the three and Dorian turned towards her excited, “Ellana, my dear, I heard you had a long night with Solas. We were just talking about it.”

“No, we were not!” Solas snapped, glaring at the Tevinter mage. Dorian grinned at him.

“Fine, we weren’t. But I was waiting so long for you to wake up to be able to say that. Felt good too.” Dorian nonchalantly added, “The two of you were so loud last night. I didn’t know the apostate had it in him.”

“Are you done yet?” Solas grunted. Ellana’s face paled. She looked between the two men. Solas looking like he was going to hit the young man and Dorian looking as smug as ever.

"Actually, I’m not-"

“Leave them alone Dorian, it’s too early,” Bull interrupted saving the couple from even more embarrassment and Dorian from himself. Ellana smiled at Bull, happy for the help. She glanced at Solas, who was brooding to himself, obviously embarrassed.

Chapter Text

Story Four

Today, Ellana made one of the hardest decisions of her life. Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall, had volunteered to stay behind in the fade to fight off Nightmare in order for the rest to escape. However, when Hawke volunteered, Warden Stroud had stepped up to volunteer as well. Hawke wanted the heroic sacrifice. Stroud wanted to take responsibility for the Warden failure. Ellana panicked at the notion of having both their fate in her hands and could not make a choice. Hawke turned to Ellana and said, “Inquisitor, sometimes you have to make really hard decisions, and no one comes out unscathed. Tell Varric I said goodbye,” and like that the choice was made for her.

With tears in her eyes, Ellana refused to banish the Grey Wardens, opting to give the Wardens a second chance for a failure they had no control over. “You did good today,” Ellana heard Blackwall tell her while a mage tended to their wounds. His praise fell on hollow ears, she was too far gone. Thinking about what she would tell Varric when they arrived back at the base camp. Dorian and Cassandra had accompanied them into the Fade and it seemed that all four left changed.

The entire experience reminded Ellana of a sermon Mother Giselle offered one Sunday in the Skyhold garden. Ellana, being Dalish, did not regularly attend services, but sometimes she made an appearance for moral. Mother Giselle was reading from something called, Canticle of Andraste, “Here lies the abyss, the well of all souls. From these emerald waters doth life begins anew. Come to me, child, and I shall embrace you. In my arms lies Eternity.” That is how Ellana felt in the moment, while the mage tended her wounds, she felt like her soul would still be embraced for all eternity within a well that lay in the abyss.

The walk back to camp was silent, when they arrived, the three that accompanied Ellana immediately retreated to their tents. Ellana watched them silently. The rest of her company were still awake, waiting for their return. “Inquisitor!” She turned to see Varric and Solas waiting by the fire, they looked scared and tired. They must have been up waiting the whole time. Ellana walked over silently, her tears welled as soon as she heard Varric’s voice and remembered Hawke.

“Vhenan, we were so worried,” Solas said hugging her, he placed a quick kiss on her forehead and stood back to give her space.

“Where’s Hawke?” Varric asked looking around, worried.

Ellana shed more tears and began heaving as she told Varric what happened. Varric did not take the news well. As the words left Ellana’s mouth, Varric’s face went blank, it looked like he could not hear what Ellana was saying. Varric’s vacant look extended to his eyes, and he nodded slowly, but too slow to be nodding in response to the news. Suddenly, his eyes glazed over, and he ducked his head towards the ground. Almost immediately, he retreated to his tent citing that he had some letters to write. Solas watched as Varric walked off. “He needs his space. Hawke was very important to him,” Solas said to no one in particular. “How are you feeling?”

“Ellana!” she heard her name again, this time from another familiar voice. Solas looked over Ellana’s head towards the voice. Ellana wiped her face and turned as Cullen was jogging over. “You did great work out there, Herald, opting to allow the Wardens to join the Inquisition was the right choice.”

“You did what?” Solas mumbled more to himself than to Ellana. Solas seemed to realize that he was heard by both parties and excused himself to sit by the fire as they talked.

“I don’t know if I did the right anything Cullen. We lost Hawke, along with so many others.” Ellana cried but tried to stay stoic. She knew she had to stand tall. Standing, debriefing with her Commander, it was important for the soldiers to see them both strong and steady. But she knew that the events of this evening weighed heavily on them both.

“I know. I first met Hawke when I was at Kirkwall. It’s been so many years but Hawke will be missed.” Cullen said with kind eyes and a kind tone. “This day will go down in history, and those who make history will continue to suffer once it’s long over.” Then quieter, “I know you’re not a believer, but would you allow me to pray for you this evening?”

“Of course, Cullen, and thank you. When I say my prayers, I will pray for you as well.” Ellana rubbed his upper arm and nodded as he walked off.

Ellana stood for a few moments staring at the fire, her arms wrapped protectively around herself. She had forgotten that Solas was sitting only a few feet away and his voice startled her. “Most of the others had already retreated to their tents before you all arrived. Varric and I wanted to stay awake until you all returned. Cole waited too until an influx of wounded arrived, he left when his compassion was needed elsewhere. He should still be there, helping the wounded.” Ellana did not respond and only held herself tighter. “You walked in the Fade. It must have been something.”

Ellana turned to him, “It was terrifying, some Nightmare ruled the land and made all our fears reality. I saw everyone’s greatest fear, even yours.” Ellana turned and darted into her assigned tent, hoping to hide away before anyone called for her attention.

“What do you mean?” Solas asked as he followed her into the tent. He tied the tent flaps closed and conjured light for the two of them. The blue light illuminated both their faces.

“I meant what I said.” Ellana sat on the floor of the canvas tent and pulled her legs up to her chin.

“And what did this Nightmare believe my greatest fear to be?” Solas sat at a distance from her, his hooded brows cast a shadow over his eyes, but Ellana could see that he was frowning. She knew Solas hated being exposed without his consent.

“Dying Alone.” Silence was his response. Solas did not move, and it was like he was not breathing. His demeanor made Ellana nervous, like she learned something she was not supposed to ever know. The tension was building and with Solas’ lack of movement it seemed as if he was a corpse sitting across from her, but she could feel his magic. The magic felt like it was surrounding her, Ellana felt like it could prevent her from breathing.

The tension seemed to build to a crescendo, when Solas took a breath and asked, “And what was yours?”

Ellana mimicked his breath, lessening the tension, and answered. “Failure.” They stared at one another in silence for a long time. Neither wanted to explain their fear and neither wanted to ask the other to do something they were unwilling to do themselves. Ellana turned her head towards her knees and silently started crying again. Ellana always thought that her greatest fear was something else, maybe it changed when she took the role as Inquisitor and became judge, jury, and executioner.

Ellana felt like a failure tonight, even with the reassurance that her choices were good. Ellana failed when her choice mattered most, when faced with her Nightmare, she avoided choosing so she could not be held responsible for the incorrect choice. Ellana knew this night would change her forever, and it scared her.

Ellana needed to get some air, to be alone from everyone, including Solas. She knew if she went outside she would probably be talked to by those desperate for her attention, but she was also desperate to get away from Solas’ piercing gaze. She needed space, “I need some air.” She stood abruptly and unraveled the tent flap.

A rush of cool air hit her face, she saw a group of soldiers near by. Cullen was debriefing with them. Cullen never got to take a break, and he was always accommodating for Ellana; picking up the slack where she was consistently failing as Chief Commander. Ellana knew it was her duty to walk over there and at least show face, but as she turned toward the group, her chest suddenly felt very heavy.

Ellana doubled over and fell to the ground. Her chest was tight, and she could not breathe. Her heart began to beat quickly, and she felt dizzy. On the ground she began trembling and her face became very hot. She turned over and gagged as if to vomit, but nothing came out. “Solas!” she yelled into the air catching the attention of the soldiers.

“Vhenan!” Solas yelled dashing out of the tent. “Someone get a medic!” He yelled at the soldiers.

Cullen ran over and ducked down next to Solas. “What happened?” Ellana could not hear what they said next. Her hearing seemed muffled, and she could not focus over the feeling of losing control. Suddenly, she felt herself being lifted and carried to a new location. She closed her eyes hoping that all of this would be over soon.

Soon was never soon enough. Whatever Ellana was feeling, it did not stay forever, though it felt like forever was right now. The medic could not determine what caused this sudden reaction, but she was able to calm her with some herbs mixed into a tincture. Ellana calmed down after a few long minutes and was able to regain her normal breathing rate. “Please be careful Inquisitor,” the medic advised as Ellana raised herself against the cot she laid on.

“Can I leave?” Ellana asked almost angrily at her loss of control.

“I’m sorry, Herald, but Commander Cullen ordered me to keep you here until morning.” The medic seemed to fear Ellana’s response and bowed her head when she said it.

“Creators,” Ellana hissed, “Fine.” Ellana looked around and noticed that she and the medic were not the only ones in the room. Solas was at the entrance of the tent, along with Dorian and Cassandra. Ellana forgotten about her two friends, they who braved through Nightmares and demons alike with her. She realized she also forgotten about Blackwall. She needed to check on him as well.

“Maker,” Cassandra called, “Ellana what happened?”

“I don’t know,” Ellana answered shaking her head. “Solas can you check on Blackwall, he endured the Nightmare too?” Solas nodded silently and left the tent. Ellana turned back towards her two friends who had come to sit by her side. “I was talking to Solas and then I needed air. I went outside and then was on the ground. I don’t know what happened or what I did wrong.” She spat out through gritted teeth.

“Inquisitor, please breath,” the medic called from her workstation.

“No one thinks you did anything wrong,” Cassandra said, rubbing her back.

Dorian moved to sit on the cot next to Ellana, “You can’t be collapsing in front of the army, it’s bad for moral. Did Solas hurt you?”

“What! No!” Ellana said defensively. “I was just caught up in my head, thinking too much about what happened.”

Dorian and Cassandra shared a look between the two of them. Cassandra was the first to talk. “What happened in there was no fault of your own. Hawke made the decision to stay and there was nothing you could do about it.” Cassandra looked at Dorian, who nodded in agreement.

“What did the two of you see on your tombstones? I saw failure and I think, thinking about failing causes me to collapse,” Ellana whispered between the three of them.

“Temptation,” Dorian answered first.

“Helplessness,” Cassandra said second.

“Wow, we are all really messed up,” Dorian tried to lighten the mood. Ellana smiled at her two friends. Out of everyone who she met in the Inquisition, she never expected that a Chantry Seeker and a Tevinter Mage would become two of her closest friends.

Cassandra rolled her eyes and did not smile. “Anyway, Ellana you must not hold your emotions inside like this. What if you collapse in battle?” Ellana’s eyes widened at the possibility.

“Cass, I don’t think Ellana needs to hear that right now,” Dorian shook his head in disbelief, while maintain eye contact with Ellana. Ellana knew Cassandra was right, she had to find a way to talk about her emotions and fears.

“I talk to Solas,” Ellana offered.

“And look at the good it caused,” Dorian scuffed. Cassandra sent a pointed look at Dorian who shrugged in return. “I’m just saying, she talked to him and then she collapsed. Seems like cause and effect to me.”

“Not now, Dorian,” Cassandra warned through gritted teeth.

“Do you think I made the right decision with the Grey Wardens. Cullen and Blackwall thought I did, but do you both believe I did the right thing?”

“It does not matter what we think. You are the Herald, and you made your decision. Whatever it was, it was the correct one because it was blessed by the Maker,” Cassandra answered simply. Ellana did not like the answer, but she also knew that doting on what was right and what was wrong would probably send her into another spiral. “We should let you get some rest.” Cassandra motioned for Dorian to get up. Dorian complied and followed Cassandra out of the medical tent. He turned towards Ellana and murmured a farewell.

***

Ellana was startled awake the next morning to a young man sitting next to her head. “Heart racing, mind wandering, nowhere rest. Did she make the right choice? AH, you’re awake!”

“Good morning Cole,” Ellana smiled. Her head ached but she no longer felt like she would lose control.

“He sat, he watched, he blames himself.”

“Who blames themself, Cole?”

“Thank you Cole,” Solas greeted him as he pulled the flap to the tent back.

“I just wanted to help,” Cole sounded sad.

“And you did. Thank you Cole, but I will see to her from here.” Solas smiled at the young man who disappeared as quickly as he appeared. Solas walked over and sat on the stool that used to be occupied by Cole. “How are you feeling this morning?”

Ellana sat herself up on her cot and considered the question. “I am doing much better, thank you for telling Dorian and Cassandra.”

“Thanks, are not necessary. If they can help you then I will always call for them. He bent towards here face and kissed her forehead, “Ar lath ma, Vhenan.”

“Were you the one who Cole was talking about?”

Solas visibly tensed, “Yes.”

“Why do you blame yourself?”

“I know my magic reacted to my emotions, I could feel yours react in fear to it. If that did not happen, you would not have left and then you would not have collapsed.”

“Did Dorian say something to you?”

“That does not matter. It does not change that I regret it happened.”

“I see, ma’lath. How is Blackwall?”

“Hmm, he thought you did good. If you want to know how he was processing the night’s events, he said that the Fade reminded him of something from his past. He was trying to handle it well, but he knew he would probably have nightmares.”

“I see. Did you tell him I collapsed?”

“I did, he visited for a short time after you fell asleep,” Solas finished.

Ellana looked at her lap and then towards the open tent flap. “How are things out there?”

“The camp is packing up; they plan to leave for Skyhold soon. The medical team plans to stay and help with the Grey Wardens. Would you like to stay with the medical team or leave with the group?”

“I’ll go wherever you go,” Ellana answered truthfully.

Chapter Text

Story Five

“Vhenan,” the voice came from the doorway. The moonlight obscured the features of his pale face, but the voice was unmistakably his. Ellana had called for him, he, who was supposed to be posing as her Elvhen serving man. She called him this evening to serve her; and on this evening, his mistress needed serving.

He closed the door behind him. He walked to the space between the bed and the balcony, back straight, hands behind his back. “You needed me?” he asked with an edge of steel to his voice, cold and flat.

“Solas,” Ellana called from her bed, her arms wrapped around her legs, and her head on her knees. “I’m afraid.” Her voice came out tired and soft. Solas’ stance immediately relaxed. He locked the door, and he walked towards the bed. He placed a hand on top of Ellana’s head. Solas ran his fingers through her curly, white hair. He had mentioned on multiple occasions how beautiful he thought her hair was.

“Tell me, Vhenan. A burden shared, is a burden halved.”

Ellana had been feeling nauseous since leaving Skyhold for the Winter Palace. Unfortunately for her, she could not anticipate how uncomfortable she would be in Halamshiral. As soon as her group had crossed the boundaries of the former Capital of the Dales, she could feel the shift in the fade. “The end of the Journey” the common translation of the Elvhen name, Halamshiral. It felt like cruel mockery.

The Inquisition was present at the Winter Palace for three days now. Tomorrow night would be the masquerade that held a peace talk between Empress Celene, the Grand Duke Gaspard de Châlons, and Ambassador Briala. The Inquisition was invited to the masquerade because of the rumor that one of Corypheus’ assassins planned to assassinate the Empress during the event. However, it was not remiss that both Empress Celene and the Grand Duke looked to the Inquisitor as a possible ally. Ellana still could not decide who would be the lesser of two evils.

On day two of the stay, Solas had come to Ellana with information that he found during his previous night’s visit to the fade. When they first met, Solas had explained to Ellana that he was a Dreamer, and that when sleeping in certain locations he could see the history of events that happened there. In turn, Solas shared with Ellana a recent memory of Halamshiral, of the alienage that Empress Celene had ordered to be burned and of the lives lost that night.

When Solas told her about the memory, she could not believe what she was hearing, so Solas offered to show her the memory himself. It was as if they were both there that night. She heard the death screams of the inhabitants, saw the terror etched on Elvhen faces, and the hatred in the eyes of human men as they slaughtered her kind. Ellana had not had a moment of peace since.

It haunted Ellana that she wished death upon the Empress. Out of curiosity, that morning, Ellana asked her Spymaster if she had any intel as to why Celene would order the burning of the alienage. Spymaster Leliana looked at Ellana with apprehension, but Leliana told her what Ellana hoped was the truth. That the Halamshiral alienage burned because Celene was worried that her nobles would learn of her intimate relationship with her then slave, Briala. Ambassador Briala...And that this information was revealed to the nobles by the Grand Duke in spirit of “the game.”

Since then, the ever-present nausea had been exacerbated by fear. Ellana feared that she would back the wrong choice and her people would suffer the consequences. She was not even sure if the Elvhes of the alienage would see her as their people. She has come to learn that between Dalish Elvhes, Alienage Elvhes, whatever Solas considered himself, and herself; none considered themselves a part of each other. Ellana had never met Briala, but she hoped that if they met she would be able to find something that united the two, and she hoped that it was their need to save the people.

Ellana looked at Solas and saw the sadness in his eyes. Ellana knew that Solas regretted showing her the memory after seeing how strongly it affected her mindset. Ellana had been hiding away in her room since her conversation with Leliana. She turned her head on her knees and then looked out towards the balcony. She did not know how to respond, mostly out of fear. She had dealt with Orlesians before, but that was at Skyhold. Here at the Winter Palace, even the walls were listening.

The feelings became so overwhelming that she started crying. “Ir abelas, Vhenan,” Solas said responding to her display of emotion, continuing to stroke her hair. Ellana cried and when she began to shake, Solas moved closer to wrap himself around her body.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Ellana said after a few moments. Solas sat quietly, reacting to her words with silence. Ellana looked up to him and asked, “Would you stay the night with me?”

Solas looked at her, rolling his jaw in consideration, “Yes.”

They lay in bed together, Ellana lying against Solas’ chest with one arm and leg wrapped around him. Neither one of them undressed out of their day clothing. Ellana whispered to Solas all she had been feeling about the pawns in play and how she felt about the choices she needed to make. Solas listened quietly, rubbing her back in small circles with his thumb. Ellana alternated between calm retelling but becoming increasingly overwhelmed with sadness when talking about feeling unconnected and ostracized by other Elvhes. Solas apologized for his part in reinforcing those feelings. When Ellana was done sharing her feelings, she sat up and looked at Solas’ face. She leaned toward him and gave him a kiss, light at first, but quickly deepening.

Ellana moved her arms behind his head and supported his face against her mouth. As if practiced, Solas used his tongue to demand entrance into her mouth. He propped himself up on his shoulders, allowing Ellana to sit herself up. “Is this what you need right now?” Solas asked, breaking the kiss.

“Please,” Ellana pleaded, her eyes watching his lips. He licked his lips watching her, considering. Ellana knew sex was not what she needed right now, but she wanted it. She wanted to feel connected to something, anything.

The room was silent except for the sounds of the night that echoed from the balcony and their heavy breathing. She sat beside him; her body close to his yet not close enough. Her heart ached with the weight of the empty silence. To Ellana, it sometimes felt that her and Solas were two people drifting in the same space, both reaching for something just out of reach. His right hand rested lightly on her waist. His fingers brushed against her ribs, the faintest touch, and she could feel his longing. Her gaze tracked his face in the moonlight, and she felt a pull in her chest and the need to connect, to feel him again in a way that did not make her feel so empty. Reaching out, she let her fingers trace the curve of his jaw, soft at first, hesitant. He flinched at her touch, just slightly, but did not pull away. She swallowed the lump in her throat, taking a breath. His eyelids fluttered, but he did not speak right away. She waited, holding her breath. The seconds stretched out between them, thick and heavy.

“I know,” Solas murmured, his voice thick with want, but it did not feel like an answer. It felt hollow, like something he was saying because he did not know what else to say. The disappointment inside Ellana deepened. She felt small beneath his touch, but still she reached for him. Her hand moved lower, just below his chest, pressing against his shirt. She felt his heartbeat, fast and steady, beneath her fingers. She leaned closer, her lips grazing the side of his neck, her breath warm against his skin. She could feel his breath stiffen, but he did not pull away. Solas’ hand shifted, hesitating for a moment, before it moved to her back. She kissed him harder, hoping to spark something in him, desperate to spark something within herself. Ellana needed this, to feel in control, to feel certainty again.

The two of them continued entwining their bodies and their spirits until the disconnect no longer existed. They made love that night, or what Ellana hoped was love. Solas lay on his back, his chest bare, staring at the ceiling. Ellana lay against him, the same as before when she gave confession, but this time truly nude. To be physically and emotionally laid bare before Solas, was intimate. She had been more intimate with him than she ever had been with a man before.

Ellana was twenty-five years old and had never been in a committed relationship with someone before. As the First of Clan Lavellan, she had been with other members of her clan, but she had not been permitted to take on a committed partner. A partner would have been assigned to her eventually, as she was near the age. No, not nearing, Ellana was at the age, but her mission at the Conclave pulled her away from her duties to Clan Lavellan. She wondered if she brought Solas back to her clan would they accept him? She wondered if Solas would accept them. Solas made it clear that the Dalish were not his people and the Dalish made it clear that Alienage Elvhes were not their people.

Maybe we can move somewhere together and start anew, Ellana thought wishfully to herself. She smiled at herself and then turned to look at Solas, who had fallen asleep. Watching him sleep, Ellana realized the impact of her thoughts and what it meant. She was willing to leave her clan for him. “Ar lath ma,” she whispered to him. Maybe if they belonged to no one, they could belong to each other.

Chapter Text

Story Six

Clan Lavellan was dead. Ellana may be the last one left. She had no one.

Ellana of Clan Lavellan was dead, or at least she felt dead inside. She had been hiding in her room for three days and the tears never stopped falling. They would not stop when her friends came to visit, when Cassandra helped her bathe, when Solas washed and braided her hair, when Cullen sat and prayed with her, or when Seraelia begged her to eat. A letter from Josephine, still laid open on her bed:

Ambassador Montilyet,

I regret that my help for your Dalish allies came too late to be of use. By the time my forces arrived in the area, the Dalish had been scattered or killed, and there seems little left of the clan. I understand your Inquisitor must be feeling the loss. Please accept these gifts and my promise of future help whenever it is necessary.

Yours, Duke Antoine of Wycome

After day four of Ellana’s self-isolation, a new letter joined the other, this time from Leliana:

Nightingale,

I have new information regarding Duke Antoine of Wycome and the Inquisitor's Dalish clan. It appears that Wycome had been experiencing some sort of plague that affected only humans. The duke had kept the news of the disease quiet. But his fellow nobles grew louder in their anger, blaming the elves in the alienage for what has been called the "Knife-Eared Plague." Antoine evidently chose to use Clan Lavellan as a scapegoat. His surreptitious move against the Dalish was an attempt to convince his nobles that he was acting.

Jester

To Ellana, it felt like her spirit was shattered. She lay nude on her floor, curled into a ball. No amount of encouragement from Seraelia could convince her to dress. She refused to eat; she refused her duty. Ellana would stay in this state for two more days.  

Chapter Text

Story Seven

After six days of isolation and four extra days of recovery, Ellana needed a break from Skyhold. Originally, she did not plan to attend the morning War Counsel, but she needed an assignment that she could use to drown her sorrow. Her three advisors looked between the three of them, unsure if an excursion was a good idea but Ellana was insistent.  

“If you insist Inquisitor.” A pause. “I received a word from Professor Bram Kenric of the University of Orlais. He believes a remote area known as the Frostback Basin could hold secrets beneficial to both academic research and the Inquisition itself. He believes that further investigation is warranted and hopes that we could send a party,” Josephine introduced.

“What kind of secrets?” Ellana inquired dryly.

“He did not specify in his letter, but something about the previous Inquisitor, Inquisitor Ameridan” Josephine answered eyebrows pinched together.

“Good enough for me,” Ellana said throwing up her arms in concession earning deeper concerned looks from her advisors, “How soon can my team depart?”

For this assignment, the entire inner circle was invited to meet Scout Harding and Professor Kenric at the Basin. The team was split into multiple groups in order to complete separate assignments. Ellana assigned Vivienne and Cassandra to stay with Professor Kenric to help him with various tasks related to his research regarding Inquisitor Ameridan. Ellana assigned a team consisting of Iron Bull, Dorian, Blackwall, and Varric to help establish scouting camps for the Inquisition forces. The final team consisting of Ellana, Cole, Sera, and Solas were tasked with investigating a nearby island, which Professor Kenric believed held trace secrets.

During their journey Ellana and company met an Avvar man named Arvid, who they asked if they could use one of his boats to reach the island. Much to Ellana’s dismay, Arvid informed them that the island belongs to the Lady of the Skies and that the Avvar avoided it.

“I will let you use my boat only on one condition,” Arvid offered when he realized how disappointed the group was.

“And what’s that?” Sera cut in earning an eye roll from Ellana.

“You can use the boat as long as you get permission from Thane Svarah Sun-Hair,” he continued.

“Who is Thane Svarah Sun-Hair?” Ellana asked growing irritated.

“She is the Sun-Hair of the Stone-Bear Hold, up in the hills,” Arvid finished.

***

A day later, Ellana found herself introducing her and her team to none other than Thane Svarah Sun-Hair of the Stone-Bear Hold. If Ellana wanted a distraction from her sorrows, this definitely proved to be quite a distraction. This Ameridan better be worth it, Ellana thought to herself frowning as her group introduced themselves.

Surprisingly, Sun-Hair granted the Inquisition guest status, and granted Ellana use of Arvid’s boat. Sera volunteered to stay behind and help raise the Inquisitions reputation with the Hold. Ellana was worried about her sudden volunteering, but they needed someone to stay behind. But to make sure, Ellana had Sera swear that she would send word to Iron Bull, Blackwall, Varric, as well as word to the main scouting camp to help out around the Hold. This left Ellana, Cole, and Solas to return to the main camp and check in with Professor Kenric.

Between Vivienne and Cassandra, Cassandra volunteered to join the three on their excursion to the island.  “I don’t like this place,” Cole murmured as they walked.

“The spirits are influencing minds, drawing sorrow from the living that come to the island,” Solas responded to Cole’s unease.

“Fuck,” Ellana swore realizing she probably had a well of sorrow that could be fed off of and influenced. Ellana did feal a strong unease and hoped nothing bad would happen.

“Still your spirit Vhenan. We will be here for you,” Solas comforted, while rubbing Ellana’s back. She leaned into him, and he gave her a quick kiss behind her ear. “What drew so many spirits to this place, I wonder?”

As the group walked, they came across a destroyed shack. “Is that a fade rift?” Cassandra pointed as they approached the shack.

“This rift is ancient. It may have been formed from the battle that took place here, not the breach. Vhenan, you may be able to open the rift to properly close it,” Solas suggested. The rift was covering a bedroll with a skeleton, surrounded by flowers. When Ellana opened the rift, a spirit spoke to those present. The spirit revealed itself to have the memories of Telana, Inquisitor Ameridan's companion and lover. Telana revealed that Ameridan was secretly sent south by Emperor Drakon to fight an Avvar dragon.

When the Spirit was done talking, Ellana said, “We'll find Ameridan. You don't have to wait here anymore.”

“You have done all that she asked of you. Be free.” Solas offered.  When the spirit left, Ellana noticed a letter left on the skeleton. She reached down to pick it up and read it to the group:

“Whosoever reads this message, Let it be known that the bearer, Inquisitor Ameridan, Commander of the Seekers of Truth, travels to the Frostback Basin on the official request of His Divine Majesty Kordillus Drakon, Emperor of Orlais, upon business vital to the safety and security of this most holy empire, and that he and those who travel with him are to be afforded every service, rendered every assistance, and extended every courtesy in their effort to protect Orlesian lives from threats both magical and mundane. Maker watch over him, Kordillus Drakon I”

“Maker, we need to get back to the Professor” Cassandra said in disbelief. Suddenly, something caught Cassandra’s attention. “Guys, I don’t think we are alone.”

“Hakkonites, we gotta go,” Ellana whispered.

***

When the team returned to the research outpost they informed Professor Kenric of what they found. He instructed them to head to a ruin up in the hills. Professor Kenric also asked if they could check in on his research assistant, Colette, who left to survey the Tevinter ruins. During their journey towards the nearest Inquisition camp, they happened to run into Colette who was making her way towards what she assumed to be the same Tevinter Ruin that the Professor had guided them to.

According to Ellana’s map, Cliffside Inquisition Camp should be the closest camp to the ruin. Colette thanked the team for the information but preferred to head there immediately instead of resting for the evening. Ellana agreed to meet her at Nigel’s Point located on the run.

The group was currently resting at Swampside Inquisition Camp, they had been constantly moving for at least four days. Ellana thanked the Creators that her other team was successful in establishing these camps. Ellana had just finishing writing a letter to Professor Kenric informing him of Collete’s plans and sending it off by crow, when she heard a voice from behind.  “I wanted to check on you, see if you’re alright.”

“I am fine Solas, thank you for worrying about me,” Ellana responded turning towards him.

“Come sit at the fire with us,” he said motioning towards the group sitting around the fire. Other than her three companions, there were about five other scouts tasked with protecting the camp.

Ellana followed Solas to the fire and sat next to him on the ground, leaning against a log. He put his arm around her, and she leaned into it. Ellana noticed that Solas had been more outwardly affectionate to her lately. She also noticed that he was open to being affectionate in front of other people. Ellana was grateful for Solas. If she was honest, after writing her letter, she planned to sit alone with her thoughts until she cried to sleep.

“Solas can I ask you a question?” Cassandra asked after a moment.

“Of course, Seeker,” he responded in kind.

“I had not considered how fighting in our world might affect the Fade. Is it always thus, Solas?”

“It is worse this time, with the Breach pulling spirits through it against their will...But yes. Every war, no matter how just, leads to hunger and rage...and so come the demons.”

“It is said that generals should avoid fighting in the same battlefield too many times...”

“The deaths, the rage - all of it weakens the Veil. But nothing is ever said of the effect war has upon the world of spirits, what we might be doing to them. Every war has unintended victims. All too many go unnoticed.”

“Hmmm,” Cassandra considered his words. She seemed satisfied by his answers. “Ellana, what do you think of that letter we found?”

“It seemed that Telana loved the Inquisitor deeply and it pained her to die away from him,” Ellana leaned her head further into Solas’ neck. “She was cut off from him and then cut out of history after she died. Died and now no one remembers her.” Ellana thought about her Clan and how she will be the only one to remember them, and when she dies, the name Clan Lavellan would mean nothing. The thought caused her to start breathing heavily.

“We remember her,” Cole offered.

“And now we make sure that all of Orlais will remember her,” Solas said nodding towards Cole.

“She hurt. The wraiths knew only the pain, but she knew why, daring, dreaming into darkness, for Ameridan,” Cole added.

“Nicely said, Cole,” Cassandra praised.

Cole beamed at her. “Faith seeks a friend in Compassion, cautious, careful, too much grey but growing.” Cassandra looked at Cole in confusion but with a smile, nonetheless.

“Ellana, I’m not sure I should ask, but how are you feeling?” Cassandra turned to Ellana who looked at her with wide eyes. Ellana looked down, considering. She was definitely still sad, but she was tired. She wanted to cry and sleep, but she no longer wanted to starve herself and the need to be clean had returned. It had been a long two weeks.

“I am still sad,” Ellana started, “I want to do something to honor them. Josie told me that they planted a tree in honor, but she didn’t realize it’s a tree for every fallen not one tree for everyone. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture. I’m just having a hard time accepting the circumstances of their deaths.”

“You're too bright. Like counting birds against the sun. The mark makes you more. But past it... Pulled, blood that is not blood, a tiny trace of time. Lips struggling to shape language your parents lived. And past that, the weight of all on you. All the hopes you carry, fears you fight. You are theirs; it must be very hard. I hope I help.” Cole offered with compassion.

The tears had started as they were threatening to overwhelm. What Cole said was too much. Ellana stood up abruptly and sped into the tent that the scouts had prepared for her. “Thank you Cole,” she said as she left. She felt a presence following her. When she entered the tent, she turned to see who was following her. It was Solas.

Ellana dropped down onto her knees and sobbed. Solas dropped down next to her and held her close. Solas cried with Ellana, the pain in her spirit reaching his. They stayed in their embrace even when Ellana began shaking and her nose started running. Solas wiped her eyes and her nose with his fingers. He kissed her tears and held her to his chest.

That familiar feeling crept up in her chest, the feeling of losing control. “I can’t breathe Solas,” Ellana panicked, gasping.

“Vhenan,  slow down and breathe, you have to breathe, in and out, like this,” he demonstrated the breathing. Ellana tried to follow how he breathed, she closed her eyes to try and focus. After a few moments, Ellana no longer felt like she was losing control, and she opened her eyes. Solas was still there; he was holding her head between his hands. She could feel him using his magic to try and calm her body. “You are safe my heart, you are safe.”

That night, the two of them slept intertwined. Solas had searched for her in the Fade, and she had asked him if he could help her show him a memory. The memory was of her and her parents when she was young. Ellana watched as her younger self played with her mother. Her mother looked a lot like Ellana did now, but with darker skin and no Vallaslin. Her father, lighter than her with Mythal’s Vallaslin tattooed across his face, watched from a distance, filleting fish from the day's catch.

“Your mother has no Vallaslin?” Solas asked curiously. “Was she not Dalish?”

“She joined the clan as a teenager. A couple of Dalish scouts found her on the street of an alienage, she was selling her body to be able to eat. According to Keeper, they took pity on her and invited her to the join the clan,” Ellana responded. “She met my papae, later on. He faced a backlash for wanting to be with my mamae because she wasn’t Dalish, wore no Vallaslin, and didn’t know the tongue. By the time I was born, my mamae knew more of the ancient tongue than my papae.” Ellana smiled at this memory.

“What were their names?”

“Haljra and Paivel.”

Ellana then showed him the ceremony when she was named First. Ellana sobbed through both memories, but she wanted to see them as much as she wanted to show Solas.

“I don’t see your parents in this memory,” Solas questioned looking around at the faces.

“By this time, my mamae had died, she was attacked by a bear. In grief, my papae, ended his life.” To herself, “I wasn’t enough for him to want to keep living.”

At that revelation, the memory dissolved. Ellana a heaping mess in the dirt of the Fade, “I wouldn’t be able to do things like this if it wasn’t for you.”

“Always, Vhenan. We should wake up,” Solas guided, willing them both to wake.

***

A week later, Inquisitor Ellana, now known as First-Thaw, sits alone at a fire. She had spent the last few hours writing in a diary. Since returning to the research outpost within the Frostback Basin, she had decided to record her memories in written word. She also hoped that doing so would help her manage her episodes. One entry read:

How does one know when they are in love? If they are, what is the price of love? When I think about you, Solas, I think of hope. Hope that I won’t have to spend the rest of my life alone. I am constantly in awe of your knowledge and your wisdom, how you comfort me when I am low. I find myself thinking of you whenever I am alone. I think about how lucky I am to have met you. I think about your stories. I think about your care and your worry. I think about your friendship. I think about you against me and how you feel inside of me. You think me wise but is it wise to want to be consumed by you. To want to bind myself to you in the way the mages bind spirits.

This entry embarrassed Ellana to read back to herself. To have allowed herself to be completely consumed by a man. She remembered her papae at this moment, how he gave everything to her mamae, and was consumed by his grief. The next entry read:

Papae, is this how it felt? Was this how it felt to look upon my mamae’s body in anguish? Nothing in this life could sustain you when you felt completely consumed by the absence of her. Would you be disappointed that your daughter has been consumed by the spirit of another, the way you were? Telana, is this how you felt? To see your love vanish before your eyes. Each moment you spent without him dedicated to his return. You were willing to follow him into death.

If anything happened to Solas, would I do the same?

Ellana shook her head, physically forcing these thoughts from her mind. She was supposed to be processing her emotions, not writing down her spiral. Ellana flipped through the pages that she spent all day filling. An imagined voice, Leliana’s voice rang out in her head, “You can’t keep these types of things written.”

With a deep breath, Ellana stood and walked towards the fire and tossed the journal into the flames. If she wanted to write again, she would grab a new paper and burn it again after. She watched the flames burn and thought about her time in the Basin. All her team had returned to the research outpost and were on the other side of the camp, celebrating their victory against the possessed dragon. Ellana wanted time alone. She wanted time to think about her experience, the excursion would end tomorrow, and she would leave, once again, for Skyhold.

Ellana turned towards her companions and watched them from afar. They looked happy amongst each other. Even Professor Kenric, Colette, and Scout Harding were participating in the celebration.

“On this night we become dragon hunters!” Ellana remembered Bull yelling across the terrain as the dragon’s corpse lay at their feet. The memory made Ellana smile.

She turned back towards the fire. Thoughts of her mamae, papae, and her clan fluttered through her mind. The memories no longer caused her to feel like she was going to lose control. The excursion had been a wise choice to pursue. Ellana was able to allow herself the time to grieve, and to help write a wrong in history. Another elf, tasked with saving the world.

She thought of the advice that Inquisitor Ameridan left with her. “Take moments of happiness when you find them. The world will take the rest.” Smiling, Ellana turned on her heels and joined her friends.

Chapter Text

Story Eight

Ellana was up before sunrise for a private training session with Helaine, the Knight-Enchanter. Ellana had chosen to walk the Way of the Knight-Enchanter because the specialization allowed her to focus on her body and her mind, something she desperately sought. Honestly, she did not expect the changes that her body would undergo when she chose this movement-focused style of magic, but she received no complaints, and the physical release of the practice was amazing.

Ellana remembered what Helaine said when Ellana chose the specialization. She was given her first goal, “Knight-Enchanters learn to manifest their will as the Spectral Blade, but first, they craft a hilt. It must be as sturdy and powerful, for within is bound a willing spirit that will weave mana into a blade that can wink in and out of existence, and can never break. The first hilt you create may not be the weapon you will fight with forever after, but I find it is the journey that matters most, not the destination. It’s construction will teach you much.”

When Ellana told Solas about her choice to be a Knight-Enchanter, he surprised her saying, “Yes, I heard from Cassandra. If I am not mistaken, the techniques descend from those of ancient elven mages once called arcane warriors. I wonder what they would think, to see their magic defiled in defense of the Chantry.” Ellana did not know what to think of that comment. Whether to be annoyed at Cassandra for telling Solas before she could or to be annoyed at Solas for the flippant remark on the use of elven magic.

After taking in a deep breath, Ellana had replied, “I hope the ancient elven warriors would be pleased to see their techniques survive.”

“I hope so, as well. So much knowledge has been lost…” he responded nodding to her, his posture straining, hands behind his back. “Perhaps having something they created carried forward, even in such a different form, would gratify them.”

Now, Ellana spars with Helaine, with dual wielding hilts. The two of them had been going back and forth for at least 3 rounds, sparring until sunrise practicing calling forth and recalling the Spectral Blade with her mana. Ellana was exhausted, but Helaine's stamina seemed to never run out. “I need a break,” Ellana begged holding her arm out, doubled over, and panting.

“It seems you have been neglecting your physical training,” Helaine noted looking down at the exhausted Ellana. “When was the last time you did morning training with the soldiers?”

“Just yesterday.”

“And before that?”

“Two days before that. I train with them every other day,” Ellana panted straightening her back. “I used most of my mana and my body is exhausted. Can we pick up tomorrow?"

“Tomorrow is your day to train with the soldiers, according to you,” Helaine clarified, “We will meet again, the next day after that. Each of your mornings must be spent training your body and mind until you can wield your blades without thinking. And, most importantly, without needing a break.” With that Helaine turned and walked away.

Ellana fell to her knees and rolled onto her back, her chest heaving in the fresh morning air. She did not know how she was going to get through the rest of the day. She had already canceled the War Counsel meeting this morning. She had to serve her duty and  Sit in Judgment, and she preferred to do that promptly. She knew that today’s Judgment would not be easy. With effort, Ellana rolled over and proceeded towards her chambers in order to prepare to serve.

***

Ellana sat on her throne, preparing to judge one of her closest friends for the crimes of murder, treason, desertion, and impersonation. Blackwall ran away nearly a week ago, abandoning the Inquisition without trace, leaving only a note that read:

Inquisitor,

You've been a friend and an inspiration. You've given me the wisdom to know right from wrong and, more importantly, the courage to uphold the former.

It's been my honor to serve you.

After some investigation and follow-up, Ellana and her team successfully tracked Blackwall down to Val Royeaux, who turned himself to the local authorities in for impersonation and murder. She knew what Orlesian justice would mean for him, for the crimes he committed. It meant only one outcome. She knew this was not just an atonement for his crimes, this was an attempt to end the turmoil of his conscience. Ellana met with Cullen while Blackwall was jailed, and Cullen promised to have Blackwall extradited to Skyhold for judgement.

Now back in Skyhold, Cullen explains to Ellana the details of the crimes that Blackwall committed. Ellana looks at Blackwall, who is on his knees looking at the ground. Ellana felt repulsed that he lied to her in this way, but she could not bring herself to hate him. Ellana offers him the opportunity to defend himself, but he does not. Ellana looks long and hard at this man who has become important to her.

Ellana took a deep breath. Ellana considered her history with Blackwall. The conversation that they shared at the bar played in her head. She reminisced on how they discussed doing better and helping others.

“When I was a boy, there were these urchins who roamed the streets near my father’s house. One day, they found a dog. A little wretched thing that came to them for food. They caught it, tied a rope around its neck, and strung it up. Do you know what I did?”

“You stopped them, cut the dog down?” Ellana responded in hope.

“I did nothing. Not a damn thing. It was crying. I saw the kicking legs, the neck straining and twisting… And I turned around. I went inside and closed the door. I could have told my father or alerted someone. I didn’t. I just pretended it wasn’t happening.”

“The coward’s way out,” Ellana harshly judged.

“It was. I knew it then, and I know it now. I may as well have tied the dog’s noose myself. We can make the world better but it’s easier to shut our eyes.”

“When I first met you, you were saving peasants from demons and outlaws. I know you’re not a man who shuts his eyes,” Ellana said holding eye contact.

“Of course, you’d see it that way. You make saving the world look easy.” Ellana looked down at her beer, slightly disturbed by Blackwall’s view of her. He continued, “The rest of us can only dream of matching what you’ve done. Don’t you see? It’s not just about what happened back then. There’s always some dog out there, that doesn’t know how to stay away.”

Ellana pondered the memory. She was certain that, if given the opportunity, Blackwall could be the man he dreamed of being. The kind of man with both eyes open. Thus, Inquisitor Ellana’s judgement was this. She would pardon Blackwall, and he would now openly live as Thom Rainier, pledging his future to the Inquisition. Ellana commanded him to stand and be the man she knows he could be. In this judgement, Ellana also affirmed that the Inquisition would be a place of second chances.

***

After the judgement, Blackwall, no, Rainier was sent out of her presence. Ellana stood on the wall of Skyhold between the Rotunda and Cullen’s office, the mountain air and morning light a refreshing change from the stifling ambiance of the throne room. Ellana took a deep breath and looked out onto the grounds. She breathed in with eyes closed, slow and deep, feeling the tension melt from her body. She was able to do it three times, when she felt a presence approaching. Ellana opened her eyes and saw Cullen approaching her, looking like he was trying not to startle her.

 He stopped next to her turning to look in the same direction. “You did good today. I think you may have changed that man’s life.” He paused and then continued, “I wanted to thank you… for continuously supporting me through what I am going through… if there’s anything…” He exhaled, rubbing the back of his head, “This sounded much better in my head,” he said exasperated.

“I trust you’re starting to feel better?” Ellana glanced in his direction from her periphery.

“I… yes,” Cullen relaxed a bit and then stood straighter.

“Is the pain still as severe as it was before, in the beginning?” Ellana asked concerned.

“The withdrawals come and go. Sometimes I feel as if I’m back there… I need to remember not to push myself too far,” Cullen took a deep breath. Ellana continued to look forward, hoping to give him a bit of privacy as he expressed himself.

“I’ll take your word for it. But really Cullen, you don’t need to thank me.”

“No, I do. I’ve never told anyone what truly happened to me at Ferelden’s Circle. The lyrium changed me. I was… not myself after that. They lied to me, they used me. I was angry. For years, that anger blinded me. I’m not proud of the man that turned me into. Now I can put some distance between myself and everything that happened. It’s a start.”

“Does that really help?” Ellana asked turning her head in his direction.

“It does, yes.”

“For what it’s worth, I like who you are now,” Ellana said as she once again turned forward.

“Even after…well, everything?”

“I’m serious.”

“What about you? How are you holding up? You have troubles of your own.”

“Honestly, I’m terrified. So many lives depend on us. On me. Corypheus is still out there. But I’ve met good people here and knowing they have my back really it helps. Losing control has me feeling inadequate, but breathing helps, when I can remember. Did I remember to thank you for that one time...I don't remember.”

“Ellana do not doubt yourself—or the Inquisition—just yet. If there’s anything I can do, you have only to ask,” he said facing her.

“Will you continue to pray for me?” She said turning her head back towards him, eyebrows raised hopefully.

“Of course, as long as you do the same for me.”

“Thank you, Commander.”

“Of course, Inquisitor,” with that Cullen continued his walk towards the Rotunda. Ellana turned around to look over the mountains, her hands held behind her back. She closed her eyes and continued her breathing, slow and deep.

Chapter Text

Story Nine

“Mmmph,” Ellana moaned as rough hands rubbed along her shoulders and neck. Practicing dual wielding the spirit hilts and sparring with the Knight Enchantress had taken a toll on Ellana’s shoulders, her muscles ached and sore. However, her relief was not too far away, two eager hands rubbed her like it was their mission to provide her relief. “A bit harder please,” she pleased, eyes closed, grinning.

“Of course, Vhenan,” Solas rubbed firmer than before. Ellana was sitting on the floor in front of her the fireplace, in Solas’ lap. Her legs were crossed, and he sat with his legs wrapped around her. She could feel his warm breath on his neck and the slight chuckle at her request.

“Yes, ma’lath,” she affirmed, eyes still closed. As the massage progressed, his hands traversed down her neck and shoulders and onto the ridge of her collarbone, gingerly rubbing the tension away. She could feel the rate of his breathing increase and his breath was close to her ear. “Are you okay back there?”

“Hmmm, oh yes,” he said unconvincingly. A few moments later she felt his nose behind her ear, and then he kissed her. Ellana leaned back into his shoulder, abruptly ending the massage. “Feel better?”

“Oh yes, but it seems that you’re getting a bit distracted,” Ellana said turning her head up towards his face.

“Was I? I don’t know, I seemed pretty focused,” Solas challenged. Ellana leaned up and kissed the tip of his ear, which immediately reddened.

“You really like that, don’t you?” Ellana teased, kissing along the length of his ear and along his jaw. When she reached his chin, she moved in for a kiss. Ellana kissed him like she was afraid to stop.

“You’re eager this evening,” Solas teased leaning back and grinning down at her, smug.

*

“Nuvenan inana mar’len’pala, i ethan ara’av’in i’ma’da’vin,” Ellana suggested eagerly.

“Is that what you choose to use the old tongue for?” Solas mused, shaking his head.

“Neran ihn bre’palas, i vallasan bredhas i’ma’da’vin,” Ellana goaded.

“Sounds really tempting, Vhenan. Is this my payment for the massage?” Solas wrapped his arms around Ellana, his toothy grin sending waves of euphoria through her body, straight to her core.

“No, this is for free,” Ellana offered rising to her knees and pushing Solas onto his back. The fire was roaring, and the night was young. In the shadow of the flames, Ellana moved to sit in between Solas’ spread legs. He leaned up onto his shoulders to watch what she did. “So, what are you waiting for?’

“Excuse me?” he said confused.

“Pull it out. I said, I want to watch,” Ellana commanded. Solas raised his eyebrow but complied. Grinning, he unlaced his breaches and freed himself. His penis was only half-hard but was quickly growing harder under her gaze. Ellana tried to compose herself but the sight of it was always mesmerizing.

Ellana stared down at his manhood, mouth agape, earning a chuckle from the man in front of her. “Try to keep it together, ma’lath,” he teased, his jaw tensing. Ellana regained her composure and smiled at him. She looked back down when she saw him beginning to move his hand up and down.

“I used to pray for times like this,” Ellana whispered more to herself than to anyone else.

“Excuse me?” he asked, straining to hear her.

“I love you so much,” Ellana said louder, her eyes hazy and her voice a melody. Ellana breathed slow and deep, Solas’ breath matching hers as he stroked up and down. Ellana was not joking when she said that she wanted to lick the cum off him. If Ellana was honest with herself, she wanted to completely consume the man sitting in front of her.

“I love you too Vhenan, always,” he panted in rate with his strokes. He leaned towards her face and kissed her, his full lips against hers. She opened her mouth for him and moaned into the kiss. Ellana tried to pull away so she could watch, “No, don’t stop kissing me.”

“But how will I see?” Ellana pouted, “I wanna see.” Ellana looked at him sheepishly, and he tilted his head in surrender. Solas’ breathing was getting deeper, more ragged, Ellana knew he was close.

“I’m so close, Vhenan,” he warned.

“Oh, I know.”

“Garas, aman ara’mis.” Solas stopped stroking himself and pulled Ellana on top of him. He kissed her, pulling off her linen nightgown. She laid nude on top of him, she had forgone small clothes when she planned to invite him to her room. Her brown skin glowed like amber in the firelight and her violet eyes reflected the fire inside. Solas was smitten. “Beautiful.”

Ellana lined him up with her entrance and slid down to the base of Solas’ penis. She let out a deep, primal sound when she did. Solas raised up slightly at the feel of her, grinning. She began to move, up and down, slowly at first to set her pace. Then quickly she found her rhythm. Solas placed a hand on her most sensitive spot and worked it with his thumb. Ellana hummed in response, her walls clenching in pleasure.

Solas was close to climaxing before Ellana began riding him. And by now, Ellana assumed that he was desperately trying to delay his orgasm. Pridefully, she rode faster, wanting to coax the orgasm from him. He stared into her eyes, mouth hung open. “You are doing this on purpose,” he panted, barely able to hold on.

“Maybe, maybe not.” A few more minutes was all it took for him to finish. His hips were jutting forward erratically, and Ellana could not help but giggle. Solas fell on his back, panting. “You okay there?” He closed his eyes and giggled as well, growing soft within her.

*

Ellana pulled herself off from Solas to lie next to him on the floor. They lay in silence, catching their breaths. Ellana turned towards Solas, watching as his chest rose and fell. She became mesmerized by his profile. Solas’ forward bridge, his sharp ears, and his full lips. He caught her staring and smiled at her, his eyes low. “That was great. You were amazing,” Solas thanked, “But I feel like I did not give as I should.”

“Don’t worry, Vhenan. Sometimes, I can give, and you can just take,” Ellana reassured him. Ellana wanted him to know that her love was freely given, and he did not owe her anything in return. Ellana noticed something flash across Solas’ face, but it disappeared as soon as she recognized it. “What was that look?”

“Oh, nothing, I just…I’m not used to just taking,” he said as if ashamed.

“What do you mean?” Ellana questioned concerned that something might have happened to him in his past.

“Nothing…it’s just…something I need to work through,” Solas offered. Ellana was unconvinced but she let the matter rest. If Solas did not want to talk about his past, she would not push him.

Ellana sat up and pulled her nightgown back on. Solas noticed her dressing and tucked himself back in his breeches. Ellana lay back next to him, lying her head against his chest. They laid in this position for a long time. Ellana broke the silence with a question she had had for a while. “I’ve never asked you, what are you going to do once this is all over?”

“Once Corypheus is defeated?”

“Yes.”

“I want to work towards a world where the Elvhes are free, like the days of the Elvhen. And you?”

“Sometimes, I imagine us running away together. Do you ever see yourself running away with me?”

“Maybe, but we cannot ignore the pain and torment so many people live under.”

“True, I didn’t mean throw our lives away. I just…I meant, I wanted to be together when this is over, wherever life takes us. I no longer have a clan, so I was hoping you and I could start our own clan.”

“I see. I would be honored, Vhenan.” Solas rubbed her forehead and gave it a kiss. Ellana smiled to herself, excited for her future with Solas.

Chapter Text

Story Ten

Ellana was feeling herself again and was ready to fully return to her duties. The day before, she had been able to plant a few more trees for members of her clan, at least four more saplings. Ellana hoped that she would be able to plant a at least three more near the stables.

With the fatigue from a long day still affecting her, Ellana turned and saw that a note was left with her morning breakfast. She read it over and her face dropped. More bad news. With a long sigh, she rose from her bed, eating what she could while dressing, and jogged down to the war room.

Of course, I’m the last one to arrive, Ellana thought to herself. She shook her head in shame and silently made a note to tell Seraelia to wake her if an urgent notice ever comes in. “I received an urgent request to meet,” Ellana offered approaching the counsel table and tossing the note onto it.

“Yes, the Inquisition has received an urgent request for aid from Orzammar,” Josephine began immediately, even before Ellana had a chance to sit.

“Orzammar?” Leliana questioned.

“Yes, apparently an earthquake has collapsed one of their lyrium mines and endangered several others. Even worse, the tunnel seals that prevent darkspawn from overrunning the Deep Roads have crumbled, allowing hordes to invade,” Josephine read her notes.

“Orzammar is a key provider of our lyrium supplies,” Cullen added rubbing his face.

“And as such, its security is a top priority,” Josephine reinforced, “The earthquakes opened a fissure in the Storm Coast mountains, which can grant us direct access from the surface to the threatened region.”

“What are our options?” Ellana questioned, crossing her arms across her chest and leaning back.

“We need to construct a mining lift at the fissure site, which will permit the Inquisition to transport forces directly to where darkspawn populations are greatest,” Josephine suggested.

“We need to move quickly to contain them. I'll dispatch my people to the Storm Coast at once,” Cullen suggested.

“Absolutely not, Commander. I know where to find people who can build a mining lift quickly and safely,” Leliana suggested.

“I believe that are best option would be to call on our allies. Orzammar already has the experts we need to build a lift. At your discretion, Inquisitor, I can hire a team of their best construction workers right away,” Josephine reasoned.

“Well done, Ambassador. See to it complete,” Ellana commanded. “So…what’s next?”

***

Three-weeks later, Ellana found herself at the Storm Coast Fissure, fighting with Shaper Valta and Lieutenant Renn against a hoard of Darkspawn. Ellana had significantly grown in her skill with her dual-wield spectral blades and had mastered the use of Fade-Cloaking, which resulted in a deadly combination.

Once the Darkspawn had been dealt with, the team was able to establish the Legion Camp to serve as a staging area for the anticipated journey. At the campfire that night, Ellana took charge and led a briefing meeting about the next phase of their decent.

“Let’s start with the basics. Shaper Valta, tell us what you think is going on with the earthquakes,” Ellana commanded, her mind racing.

“Just Valta is fine. I think there is some kind of intelligence behind the quakes,” Valta began. When Valta received confused looks from the Inquisition team, she added. “I have some suspicions, but I know that these are too patterned to be random.”

“She is talking about Titans,” Lieutenant Renn clarified. When he received even more strange looks, he added, “Titans are stuff of Dwarven legend. But mythical Titans or not, we need to find the source of the quakes.”

“Interesting, I’ve never heard of Titans. We will leave that to a different time,” Ellana considered. “Tell us what we need to be aware of down below.”

“Well, we’ll want to dress accordingly, for both danger and cold. Don't skimp on the armor and bring your best weapons. I also recommend packing plenty of dry rations—most things down there will be looking to eat, not the other way around,” Lieutenant Renn suggested.

“Well…shit,” Ellana heard Varric murmur from behind her. “This is why I hate being underground.” She heard Solas chuckle in response to Varric’s joke. Ellana turned to them both with a look of annoyance, shutting them both up.

Turning back to their guides, Ellana asked, “any specific types of Darkspawn we need to be weary of?”

“Oh, you know, the usual,” Lieutenant Renn shrugged. “Just your run of the mill giant spiders, Deepstalkers, Genlocks, Hurlocks, Shrieks, Ogres, Emissaries, and walking corpses.”

“At least it’s not demons,” Ellana heard Iron Bull say under his breath.

“Wonderful, this meeting is adjourned until tomorrow. Rest up folks, we’ll need it.” Ellana rose from her spot. Everyone filed towards their sleeping areas, which consisted of bedrolls around a fire. Well, everyone except Solas.

Ellana stood with her hands on her hips considering. Solas stood to the side of her, his arms crossed behind him. He looked down at her, neck straight. “What do you think about all of this?”

“Well, we know this will be incredibly dangerous. But we need this lyrium, so these quakes need to stop.” Ellana concluded. “The Lieutenant and Shaper seem knowledgeable. Hopefully, they continue to be useful in combat. I’d hate to earn casualties.”

“Yes, they do seem capable,” Solas agreed.

“In your fade journeys, you ever heard of Titans?” Ellana asked with one eyebrow raised.

“From all my journeys within the Fade, I have yet to run across any Titans,” Solas shifted. “But, if tonight, I do, I will let you know.”

“Too bad there isn’t much privacy,” Ellana motioned towards the grouped bedrolls. “I  need to blow off steam.”

“Insatiable as always, I see,” Solas teased grinning, earning an eye roll from Ellana.

“Whatever, you like it,” Ellana said as she began walking to the rest of the group. Solas followed closely behind.

***

Four days later, the team consisting of Ellana, Solas, Varric, Iron Bull, and Valta make camp for the night at a location called Bastion of the Pure. In the course of their journey, the group loss Lieutenant Renn to a group of  Sha-Brytol. The cave was dark, damp, and cold. Solas made a campfire using his mana but struggled to keep it light. Ellana tried to help maintain the flame using her own mana.

The group huddled close, trying to conserve body heat. “Valta, I was thinking about something and wanted your thoughts,” Ellana called to her while they huddled together.

“What is it Inquisitor?” Valta responded.

“We found all those lyrium etchings, describing the Sha-Brytol and the Titans. Yet, there is still no Titan in sight. Everything felt different ever since we encountered the Sha-Brytol. Almost organic,” Ellana mused.

“Speak plainly, Inquisitor, it’s too cold,” Valta pleaded.

 “What if the reason we cannot see the Titan is because we are within it,” Ellana answered Valta, her eyes shining.

Valta stared at the Inquisitor mouth agape. “The thought did occur to me; the song did hum differently down here. But I didn’t want you to think of me as a lunatic. Maybe you hear a song too?”

“I’m not sure about all of that,” Ellana clarified. “But whatever we are experiencing is extraordinary.”

That night, Ellana laid awake, taking her first watch and maintaining the fire for the team. She reflected on their journey thus far. As they dove deeper into the Deep Roads, the team had been ambushed by assailants of exceptional power. They would later learn that it was the Sha-Brytol. As they descend deeper, they uncovered a massive cavern of pure untapped lyrium, hundreds of feet high. They had also come across a subterranean sea and a cavern with evidence of its own verdant ecosystem. This was where they camped for the evening, hoping this cavern led to their ultimate destination.

Ellana took a moment to silently cry for Lieutenant Renn, who proved to be a great companion on the journey. She hoped that Valta could have him memorialized according to their customs and others would learn of his sacrifice. Ellana planned to honor him when she returned to Skyhold.

Ellana hoped that Renn’s life was not loss in vain, that they would find the source of the earthquakes and put an end to it. She said a silent prayer to Falon’Din hoping that if the Dwarves did not have anyone to guide their spirits after death, that Falon’Din could guide Renn’s to wherever it would need to go. It was a few hours until she was relieved from fire duty by Solas. With the limited sleep he received, Ellana hoped he could maintain the fire from waking, and his meditation in the fade, if necessary. Knowing things were well, Ellana drifted off into sleep.

***

Ellana looked at Valta dumbfounded. Clutching her side and resting the majority of her weight on her staff. Ellana felt like she could not stand straight, let alone comprehend what she was hearing. She took three deep breaths before continuing. “What do you mean you’re staying?” Ellana questioned Valta exacerbated. “We literally just thought you were dead. You need a healer.” The team was high off the rush of fighting the Guardian of the mythical Titan from Dwarven legend. Ellana was delirious and exhausted and could not believe what she was hearing. Valta wanted to stay behind.

“Inquisitor, I am pure. I wish to remain in the Titan for further study.”

“What does that even mean?” Ellana asked wide-eyed.

“It means, I am meant to be here,” Valta reasoned turning towards the Titan heart. “Just know that the earthquakes will stop.”

“What should I tell the Shaparate?” Ellana asked.

"Tell them the truth: you don't know.” Valta smiled before walking off into the heart.

“What just happened?” Bull asked from behind the place Ellana stood.

“I’m not sure,” Ellana said dumbfounded staring in the direction Valta walked toward. “We will need to request a search party when we get back to the base camp.”

“Valta didn’t seem to keen being found,” Varric chimed in. “Should we leave it be?”

“Leave, all that, be?” Ellana exclaimed pointing towards where they fought the Guardian.

“I don’t know, some things are better left alone than prodded,” Varric shrugged.

“What do you both think?” Ellana queried.

“I trust your wisdom,” Solas half voted.

“Whatever you think is best boss,” Bull added.

“Great,” Ellana exhaled, as confused and exacerbated as she was when the conversation first started. Ellana took a deep breath, and then another, a third, and then a fourth. When she was ready, “alright let’s get out of here.”

***

During one of the lulls of the trek back to the Legion Camp, Solas jogged up to the side of Ellana who led the group. Ellana was busy trying to compare the markers she left on her map to the physical markers she left in the caverns. She hoped to use them to make retracing their steps easier, but the maze was proving more confusing than she anticipated.

“How are you feeling, Vhenan?” Solas said after it was clear that Ellana had found what she was looking for.

Turning from her spot and continuing her walk, “I’m fine, just didn’t anticipate how difficult this would be without someone who knew the way.”

“I’m sure you didn’t expect to be leading this journey either,” Solas said trying to be empathetic.

“No, I did not,” Ellana said through gritted teeth. She took a deep breath trying not to become irritated, he didn’t deserve to have her lash out at him.

“Would you like some help with the navigation, journeying through both the fade and the waking world does take some kind of navigational skill,” Solas offered.

“Be my guest,” Ellana said handing the map over to him. Solas was the first person to volunteer to take this task over and she was glad he did. “Another day of this and I would have gone insane.”

“I am glad that I offered then,” Solas said taking the map from her. Ellana watched as Solas compared where they were in the cave to the markings on the paper. When he was satisfied he continued forward. “This map seems pretty straightforward, just needed an expert eye.”

“Is that right?” Ellana said with her lips pursed. “You have any old memories for me?”

“Regarding this place?” Solas asked with his eyebrows raised. Ellana nodded the affirmative. “Hmm…I saw a dwarf emerge into the light of day and shield his eyes against the sun, the first time he had seen it. The tears were streaming from his eyes. I thought of them from the blazing light until I saw the rock he held so tightly. Then he laid the rock down gently, and he left it as he walked away.”

“This is about a Dwarf from Orzammar?” Ellana asked.

“Maybe not from Orzammar specifically, could be one of the connected cities. But it is definitely a Dwarf from the underground,” Solas clarified.

“The rock, was it a memorial, some loved one lost?”

“Most likely,” Solas answered.

“They must have been very important to make the trip topside. This was grueling…is grueling,” Ellana smiled to herself wondering if love like that would ever find her, romantically, platonically, or family. She hoped that maybe love like that had already found her. “If I had died down here, what would you have done?”

“What brought that to mind?” Solas asked incredulously.

“Thinking about your story made me wonder if you would have carried me back or left my body. I don’t know, it was silly,” Ellana shook her head embarrassed.

“It is not silly,” after considering, Solas answered. “I would have brought your body back up and made sure those two helped.” Solas motioned to Bull and Varric who were playing some game to pass the time. “You would have been returned to Skyhold. The Inquisition would then take possession of your body. I would have protested but…”

Solas trailed off in thought. Ellana spoke up, “and if they let you have me?”

“Oh, um, I would prepare your body the way they did in the time of Elvhenan. And then I would lay your body to rest in the traditional way.” Solas finished but looked slightly uncomfortable with the topic of the conversation. Ellana looked closely at him, trying to find the emotion behind his eyes. And then she found it, it was grief.

“Can I ask you a question, Solas?”

“Always.”

“Have you ever loss someone close to you?”

“Of course. It doesn’t compare to the loss you had but…” Solas rubbed his head, extending it all the way to his neck.

Ellana, who had never heard this before, was eager to hear more about who Solas was before she met him. “Who have you loss?”

“I lost my best friend; someone I’d known as a brother. He passed a year before the conclave.” His voice broke, and Ellana could see the glassiness in his eyes. “Before that, I lost a friend, someone I’d known my whole life. She died young, too young.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ellana watched the tears fall from his eyes. She could tell that Solas must not talk about this very often because the memories still cause tears. A part of Ellana wished that Solas had been vulnerable like this with her when her clan first died. Knowing this would have brought her comfort. “Why have you never told me this?”

“You never asked,” Solas answered, wiping the silent tears from his face. Ellana looked down at her feet ashamed. “It is not your fault, Vhenan. I could be more open with you.”

“Okay,” Ellana reached for his hand and tried to hold it. Solas looked down at what she was doing and held it in return. Ellana could see the blush forming on his ears and cheeks, probably because they were not alone. She heard a loud whistle from behind them, causing Solas to hunch over. His entire face was red.

“Aww look at that!” she heard Bull yell towards them.

“Ass,” Solas muttered under his breath and Ellana giggled.

***

Ellana, Solas, Varric, and Iron Bull returned to the Legion Camp after successfully defeating a Titan. The rest of the journey back was quiet except for the occasional quip from Varric, which always sparked a long and sometimes deep, four-way conversation. Sometimes those conversations were about life choices, sometimes about past romances, sometimes about the Dwarven empire, which Varric did not enjoy.

“It feels good to be back among civilization,” Bull lulled as they approached the campsite. “How’ya doing boss?”

Ellana shrugged, “Oh you know, it never ends. I need to send a letter but there aren’t any crows to deliver it. Other than that, I need to relax. The real question is: how’s Varric?”

“Why Varric?” Varric asked sarcastically, chuckling. “I feel like I just became the most popular dwarf in the Merchant's Guild. I should probably make some notes for my next book.” The group filed into the camp, which was now occupied by Inquisition soldiers and Dwarves. The soldiers had erected tents, which Ellana was happy for. I can finally sneak away and be alone, she thought smiling to herself.

Ellana excused herself and went into a tent that was occupied with a desk. On the desk were papers and quills, she took the moment alone to draft some reports. The first one read:

Commander Cullen,

We have arrived at the Legion Camp, as have your soldiers. They seemed to have established an extensive base camp at the entrance of the Deep Roads. Everything is going well, and they seem to be cooperating well with the Dwarven soldiers. The earthquakes should soon cease and deliveries of lyrium should no longer be delayed.

Sorry that this letter will arrive late, there are no crows underground. I will write if I have any more news.

Inquisitor Ellana Lavellan

The next letter she wrote was to Josephine. It read:

Ambassador Montilyet

Your suggestion to have the Orzammar natives build the lifts and infrastructure was very wise. The Inquisition soldiers and Grey Wardens should have an easier time traversing these caverns. The mission was a success, the earthquakes should cease and deliveries of lyrium should not be delayed. Unfortunately, we did lose one of our allies, Lt. Renn, and Shaper Valta’s last location currently remains unknown. We should send a party to search for her as soon as possible.

I am sorry that this letter will arrive late, there are no crows underground. I will write if I have any more news.

Inquisitor Ellana Lavellan

As Ellana read the two letters over, a scout popped his head into the tent. “Inquisitor Lavellan,” he greeted. “A couple scouts are headed above ground. Are there any letters you would like sent to Skyhold?”

“Yes, take these.” Ellana folded the letters and placed them into an envelope. She sealed it with wax and used her insignia ring. The scout took them both and hurried from the tent. The next letter was not as urgent and could be sent whenever the next scout run occurred. This letter, addressed to Leliana read:

Nightingale,

What do your people know about Titans? And if they don’t know, they should. Let’s discuss in person.

E.L.

Ellana was never sure how to sign her spy letters; she alternated between different initials and sometimes used an acronym. Ellana folded this letter up and put it into her pack. She would keep it on her person. Ellana looked around the room and saw a piece of crumpled up paper on the ground next to her foot. This paper was not there before. She bent down and picked it up. The words shocked her, it read:

The Titans are real. I knew it the moment I unearthed that ancient text. Renn scoffed at the words I read. I couldn’t blame him, even as I felt the truth settle on me like a warm cloak. Much of our history has been lost, and the Wall of Memories goes back only so far. There had to be more to the story of our people, and I’ve finally found one of those lease chapters.

Ellana paused and reread the first paragraph. Was this from Valta? And if so how did this get here? The Fade? Ellana continued reading:

It’s impossible to describe in words how truly vast a Titan is. The one I met is so large you can only glimpse parts of it. I had wandered inside its body for who knows how long without even realizing it. I’ve heard talks of dragons and giants on the surface, but descriptions of their size do not compare to the titans.

Ellana paused again thinking, was this from the future? She took a deep breath, memories of her experience in Redcliffe flowed through her. She felt the feeling of losing control. No, not now, Ellana thought to herself and breathed. She breathed until tears started flowing and then she breathed some more. She breathed until she could finish reading:

It's blood now flows through me, and its song fills the gaps in our history. I close my eyes and see glimpses of the world that were before everything changes and the Dwarven race broke in two. Something caused the Titans to fall, and the fate of my people fell with them. The Titan wants me to know. No, more than that. It wants me to understand. There is a loneliness to its song.

The note ended abruptly. If this was truly Valta’s handwriting, Ellana had to find her. The memories of everything the saw flew through Ellana’s mind at record speed. The Titans and their song, what did that mean? She needed to get back to Skyhold as soon as possible. She folded the note and placed it in her pack next to Leliana’s note.

Ellana stood in order to return to the others who were gathered around the fire drinking beers. “I want to leave for Skyhold tomorrow,” she said approaching the men. “Make sure you all are ready to do so.”

“Yes, boss,” Iron Bull affirmed, downing another sip from his bottle.

“It’s over Ellana, you can relax now,” Varric said offering a beer.

Ellana stood, her hand holding the beer shaking. “I can’t Varric, not with so many people watching. You know that.”

“Come on, you can at least have a beer can’t you?” Bull motioned towards the bottle in her hand. Ellana looked down at it, considering. She ultimately decided to open the bottle and give it a sip.

“If anything, the alcohol will keep you warm,” Varric said smiling. “Go sit over there with Chuckles. I know y’all like to be close.”

“Excuse me?” Solas asked incredulously. Ellana did what she was told and sat on the side of Solas. After taking another sip, she put her beer down on the ground and leaned back on her hands.

“What?” Varric asked innocently, “It’s not like it’s a secret.” Varric watched Solas intently and Solas watched him in return. Ellana and Bull looked between the two ignorant about whatever was happening between the two men. Varric was the first to speak up, after taking another sip. “What's with you and you being so serious? Are you always this cheery or is being underground getting to you?”

“I've no idea what you mean,” Solas responded stiffly, taking a sip from his own bottle. Ellana continued to watch, still confused.

“All the "fallen empire" crap you go on about. First it was about the Elvhes, now it’s about the Dwarves. What's so great about empires anyway?” Varric asked. “So, we lost the Deep Roads, and Orzammar has finally been beaten down enough ask for help, even though a bunch of people had to die first. So what? The Dwarves are more than just Orzammar and we're not our empire.  There are tens of thousands of us living in the sunlight now, and it's not that bad. Life goes on. It's just different than it used to be.”

“And you have no concept of what that difference cost you,” Solas said slightly under his breath, but loud enough to be heard.

“I know what it didn't cost me. I'm still here, even after all those Thaigs fell,” Varric finished.

“Um, if something is happening between the two of you, I’m sure Ellana and I would like to be filled in,” Bull said breaking the tension.

“Nothing going on with me,” Varric said shrugging. “What about you Chuckles?”

“Everything is good with me,” Solas continued to eye Varric even when Varric turned his attention towards something else. Ellana looked at Solas, unconvinced.

“Is everything okay between the two of you?” Ellana whispered low enough not to be overheard by anyone other than Solas.

“Of course,” Solas responded. When Ellana made a face, Solas smiled trying to reassure her.

Ellana turned back to the fire. She remembered something that Inquisitor Ameridan told her, “The Inquisition hunted evil. It was too easy to see threats wherever we looked.” Ellana pondered this, maybe her team needed a break from work and solving the world’s problems. She could not have them finding threats in each other, not now.

Chapter Text

Story Eleven

Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!

The urge to run grew louder and louder no matter how fast she ran. First left, then right, then right again. No, that was wrong. It should have been left, left, then right. Turn around, retrace her steps. No, that was wrong too. She did not recognize this forest.

Breathe, breathe and make it real, make her real. She was real and in this forest, so she ran and ran and ran until her legs with caught beneath her. And then she could not run any more. Her legs were caught, and she was bound in her spot.

Fever flushed from her cheeks down to her toes. She felt a presence. She turned and looked behind her, but nothing was there. She looked left and she looked right. Nothing. She tried closing her eyes, hoping that the feeling would disappear. But the feeling grew, it felt like failure and hopelessness. Suddenly she felt something breathing on her neck.  She screamed.

The breathing ceased. The presence was gone. Ellana woke.

***

With the memory of the nightmare fresh in her memory, Ellana wanted something to make her feel free. She hope to find something to make her forget. Ellana attributed the nightmare to the lack of sunshine or maybe the magic from the Titan. Whatever the culprit, Ellana only knew one thing, after being underground for more than a week it was time to be in the sun or at least spend time dancing in a bar. She also felt her team needed time off, and mistrust among the group was growing. The team needed a moral booster. So, she approached Josephine at her desk one morning after the counsel meeting. “Josie, I want to throw a party,” Ellana announced, “I want it to be Inquisition wide and use every public inch of Skyhold.”

Josephine looked at Ellana like she was insane. “Your holiness, no offence, but what?”

“You heard me,” Ellana said. “The tavern, the main hall, and all three courtyards. Just the Inquisition stationed at Skyhold, no guests.”

“And you’ll be at attendance, Ellana?”

“Yeah. Do you know anyone familiar with constructing a glamour? I was thinking that would be fun, I could join in on the fun and no one would ever know it was me” Ellana rubbed her chin in contemplation. “What do you think?”

“I think you should ask one of our mages about the glamour,” Josephine suggested. “And what would be the official reason for this party?”

“We are celebrating the reestablishment of our lyrium mines, and a stronger allyship with Orzammar.”

“And when will this party occur?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow night!?”

“Yes, can you do it?”

“Of course, Inquisitor,” Josephine acquiesced. “I just need to cancel everything else I had planned for the day. It’ll be fine.”

“Good, thanks Josie,” Ellana scurried out of Josephine's office before the ambassador had the opportunity to change her mind.

Ellana strutted through the main hall of Skyhold, stopping at Varric by the fireplace. She approached him and he greeted, “Someone’s in a good mood today.”

“I wanted to tell you that there will be a party tomorrow and to tell everyone. Also, if you have anything on the hook-up, bring it.”

“Oh, is that right? Well, let us see what I can do.” Varric said. “If you excuse me then, it looks like I have something to do today after all.”

Ellana and Varric said their goodbyes and Ellana continued her journey through the rotunda. While in the rotunda and library, she told Solas, Dorian, Leliana, and Vivienne. Solas seemed intrigued and hesitant, but he did not know much about glamour construction. Dorian seemed too excited, and Leliana seemed concerned. Vivienne snorted at the announcement, but she did seem interested and in fact did know how to construct a glamour. Vivienne told Ellana that she would meet her that evening after early dinner and show her how.

On her way to Herald’s Rest, Ellana ran into Scout Harding and invited her to the event. Harding was more than excited to participate and said that she would spread the word. Starting with Bull and Krem, one of Bull’s Chargers, she made her way upstairs after telling the bard, Maryden, about the event. Bull, Krem, and Sera were more than excited for a chance to get drunk.

Cole was…Cole about it. After, she went outside and told Cassandra, who thought she was crazy. That left only Cullen and Blackwall, the latter had since decided to continue using the moniker. Blackwall was nervous about how everyone would publicly treat him, and Cullen was as pale faced and awkward about it as Ellana expected.  

***

It had taken most of last night for Vivienne to teach her to make the glamour, Dorian in tow and occasionally giving input. Once the basics of the magic were mastered, she focused on customizing her look. Once both Vivienne and Dorian decided that she looked different enough that people would not recognize her, Ellana went to bed.

The next day, after her morning trainings and meetings, Ellana spent the majority of her time perfecting her glamour. She now sat on the floor of her room in front of the mirror practicing maintaining it. Ellana decided that the glamour would favor her father more because her facial structure already favored her mother. She changed her Vallaslin to June’s in black, turned her hair black, and made it pin straight with wispy bangs. Her eye color was the same, as she had a harder time maintaining a different eye color.

I wondered if anyone would recognize me? Ellana thought and then she thought of Solas. If anyone recognized her it would be him.

She changed her outfit into something casual, something without the glitz of Inquisitor and walked down to the Rotunda. No one had recognized her, not even Varric. As she walked into the Rotunda, Solas looked up and nodded in her direction. He looked back down and then snapped his head back up, looking at her strangely. “Excuse me,” he stopped her. “Do we know each other?”

“Possibly, I think I would have remembered someone as handsome as you,” Ellana flirted as her disguised self.

Solas cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the situation. He looked harder at Ellana and asked, “Ellana, is that you?”

“Crap, are you serious?” Ellana huffed. “How’d you know it was me?”

“Your magical signature is the same,” Solas shrugged. “And being inside you has made me very sensitive to it. Good glamour though.”

“Inside…oh uh, ummm,” Ellana was loss or words. Solas usually did not speak so crudely. After she had a moment to collect her thoughts and he had a moment to look at her smug, she asked “Well, what do you think about it?”

“Your body looks the same,” Solas answered.

Ellana rolled her eyes, “I’m not talking about my body, come on be serious.”

“As you wish,” Solas pouted. “It looks nice.”

“Would you fuck her if you were not spoken for?”

“No.” Solas said shrugging nonchalantly with an overly serene look to his face. “I like to think I have better self-control than to be tempted by a pretty face.” He said with the visage of a perfect sage monk. Ellana pouted at him, realizing Solas was purposefully not going to play her flirty games with her. So, she said her goodbyes and proceeded to see if she could trick any of her other friends.

***

Ellana stood in the mirror, in full glamour, with an outfit personally agreed upon by both Cassandra and Dorian. “I think the outfit wouldn’t suit you, Ellana, as yourself, but it suits the glamour perfectly,” Cassandra complimented.  The other two agreed. It was a simple black woven tunic, with a turtleneck and sleeves. She wore black leggings underneath, with black smokey eyeshadow. They had her accent the look with a red lip.

“Okay, but what name will you use?” Dorian queried.

“I was thinking Elle, in case one of you forget who I am, the name may help ring a bell.”

“That’s smart,” Dorian said to her answer.

“So tonight, you’re Scout Elle,” Cassandra said standing next to her in the mirror.

“Are you coming tonight, Seraelia?” Ellana called over to her handmaiden, who was putting her makeup and clothes away.

“Yes, the servants may be a bit late, granted that we had to set everything up,” Seraelia trailed off. Ellana showed a look of guilt, and when Seraelia noticed she quickly added, “but when you leave, I am free to join. I may check out what some of the foot soldiers are putting on in the training courtyard.”

“Oh yeah, I heard the boys plan to put on quite the display of masculinity tonight,” Dorian announced grinning.

“Well, leave that be and go on, we are about to leave anyway,” Ellana motioned towards the exit. Seraelia bowed and excused herself. “Okay, let’s go.”

When the trio reached Herald’s Rest, they found their usual Wicked Grace group sitting at a table upstairs. However, this time, Solas and the Chargers joined the group. Ellana also noticed that Blackwall had chosen to show up. Sera sat near him making sure that he was being treated well. Josephine sat on the opposite end to where Blackwall sat. All seats in-between were full. “Hey! Pull up a chair,” Krem motioned for them from within the group of Chargers, “Whose this you have with you.” Ellana realized that only half the people present knew who she was.

“This is my friend, Elle,” Cassandra answered with a slight nod.

“Well, Elle, welcome!” Krem greeted as the group shouted their enthusiasm at the new stranger, “pull up a seat over here.” Ellana giggled at Krem’s ignorance of her identity and pulled up a seat next to him and the chargers. Ellana caught Solas’ eye who watched her go sit with Bull’s men instead of with him. She could have sworn that she saw jealousy cross his face, but it was quickly replaced with neutrality and an averted attention.

“Uh oh,” Dalish said as Ellana sat down next to the Chargers, “You have to watch that one, he’s trouble.”

“Is he?” Ellana questioned; eyebrows raised. Bull side-eyed them smirking, seeing through Ellana’s disguise instantly. Bull took a sip of his drink and turned his attention back to his conversation.

“Yeah,” Dalish answered matter-of-factly.

“Oh hush. The name’s Krem” Krem interrupted. “And…you’re one of Cassandra’s friends? What do you do for the Inquisition?”

“I’m a scout,” Ellana said grabbing a bottle off of the table and opening it.

“I don’t remember seeing you around,” he said assessing her.

“Well, I’m usually in the field,” Ellana added, “besides, would you have noticed me walking around here?”

“For you, undoubtedly” Krem flirted. Ellana heard Bull snicker, loudly, from behind Krem. “What’s so funny, chief?”

“Oh nothing,” Bull laughed. Ellana looked across to Solas, who was acting like he was not listening, but she could see his side eye. Ellana wondered if Solas enjoyed this, watching her be flirtatious with other men. A part of her wanted to know how far she could push it until he stepped in.

“So, what do you do for the Inquisition?” Ellana asked in return.

“We,” Krem motioned to the Chargers, “are known as the Chargers. And this,” Krem pointed his thumb towards Bull, “is our chief.”

“So, what you’re like…hired soldiers?”

“Exactly right,” Krem said taking a sip from his bottle. Krem then introduced every Charger to Ellana. Ellana nodded like this was her first time meeting everyone. Krem then tried to impress her by recounting some of the Chargers more grandiose adventures. Every so often Ellana would scan the table checking to see if Solas was watching for not.

After thirty minutes of listening on Ellana’s end and flirting on Krem’s part, Ellana rose announcing that she was going to get more drinks for the table. Solas suddenly paying attention, offered to help her. Ellana quickly counted everyone and made her way down the stairs with Solas in tow. “Seems like you’re having fun.” Solas told her as they walked downstairs.

“I’m having a blast actually,” Ellana answered grinning earnestly. “It seems that Krem really wants Elle. He can’t take his eyes off her”

“Wait until someone tells him you’re the Inquisitor,” Solas jested.

“I’m willing to bet money, Bull told him as soon as we left,” Ellana said stifling a full laugh from escaping.

“Can we get 20 beers when you have a chance,” Solas requested from the bartender when they reached the bar.

“And what did you think?” Ellana asked mischievously.

“About what?”

“About what?” Ellana mimicked. “I saw you watching me. Your side-eyes are not as discreet as you think they are.”

“I can tell you later, if you plan to go back to the room with me. You seem to have some options tonight…”

“Is that right?” Ellana asked. They both took ten mugs of ale each on a tray, and using magic, took the ale back to the table. As they left, Ellana informed the bartender that the group would need 20 more in a few minutes.

In the time it took the two of them to bring the alcohol back, the group had shifted, with the smokers at one end of the table and those only drinking at the other. Ellana sat down in the middle not yet deciding how the night would go. Solas took an open seat next to Cole and Cassandra at the drinking end of the table. Ellana noticed that Blackwall was also in the middle of the table, and she sat between him and Josephine. Hopefully, he plans to talk to her tonight about what happened, Ellana thought hopefully.

Ellana also noticed that Krem had left and so did Grim and Skinner. “Where did Krem go?” Ellana asked Dalish who sat directly across from her.

Dalish leaned toward Ellana and whispered, “When you left, Bull whispered to Krem about who you were. He got embarrassed and left. Grim and Skinner followed him to make sure he doesn’t abandon his post out of humiliation.” She leaned back in her chair giggling.

“Oh, that’s too bad. I was having fun,” Ellana pouted, poking out her bottom lip. Ellana took a long sip from her bottle.

“So, Elle, my name is Josephine. But everyone calls me Josie.” Josephine “Are you familiar with Wicked Grace?”

“You’re not trying to steal all of my friend’s money, are you?” Cassandra asked, playing along.

“Of course not, I just love to gamble, you know that.” Josephine toothily grinned.

“If we are starting a game, you might want to go find Curly, give him a chance to win back some of the money he owes me.” Varric called from the far end of the table.

“Doesn’t he owe you some armor too,” Sera added grinning before taking a pipe from Varric.

“Right, I forgot about that,” Varric said.

“How about instead of Wicked Grace, us ladies go see what the boys are putting on outside?” Ellana offered to Josephine and Cassandra.

“Oh, I did hear about something scandalous happening tonight, I’m in. Cassandra?”

“Okay, but I’m not in charge of you both,” Cassandra warned.

“Can I come?” Cole pleaded.

“No, only us girls,” Ellana rejected sternly.

“Ellana’s mean when she wears a different face,” Cole pouted to Solas. Ellana heard Solas console Cole as the three women rose from their seats and made their way out of the Tavern. Each with a beer in hand, they grabbed another bottle on the way out. They walked down the stairs and two the area behind the tavern where they saw Scout Harding. Ellana also saw Seraelia across the way, flirting with a soldier. Seraelia, who was aware of Ellana’s glamour, looked embarrassed when her mistress caught her. Ellana only nodded with approval and kept walking.

As they approached and stood next to Harding, Cassandra greeted her. “Did we miss anything?” Cassandra asked.

“No, they haven’t even started taking their leathers off yet,” Harding responded.

Cullen had put together some kind of test of skill between his men. Ellana noted the assortment of equipment strown around. She saw what looked with a giant set of cotton balls on staffs, the makeshift straw practice sword, and the crowd surrounding a newly assembled fence. They were to dress in only their padded armor or less and engage in a scored mock spear fight, sword fight, and boxing. There were to be no serious injuries, or it was an automatic disqualification. “Boo!” Josephine called from the side, which earned a dirty look from Cullen. Cullen would score the fights and anyone could participate.

“Should I participate?” Cassandra whispered to the other ladies.

“Depends on how much you’ve drunk,” Ellana responded.

“Depends on what you’ve drunk,” Josephine added.

“Nowhere as much as some of them,” Cassandra pointed to a group of soldiers, having a difficult time removing their armor to just their arming coats. Some were too busy flirting with their female counterparts to even pay attention to Cullen’s speech. “Yeah, I’mma kick ass...Cullen!”

Cullen heard Cassandra’s call from a distance and physically winced at the sound. He turned slightly and saw the three women smiling too big at him. After a moment, he walked over to them.  “How can I help you Seeker?”

“I want to participate,” Cassandra said.

“Maker, preserve us,” Cullen muttered

Much to her credit, Cassandra did indeed kick ass.

***

Late into the night, or rather early into the morning, the women found themselves back with the original group, this time with Cullen in tow. Privately, Solas whispered to Ellana and asked if she wanted to join him as he walked to his room; she accepted. On their walk back, Ellana removed her glamour, much to the surprise to any onlookers. One nearly unconscious onlooker rubbed his eyes in bewilderment.

When they got to his door, he asked if she wanted to join him for the rest of the evening, which she accepted. “I like you better as yourself,” he whispered to her ear as he locked the door behind her.

“Oh, you prefer me with my white hair, all curly. I’ve been told it looks better straight,” Ellana joked looking up at him.

“Whoever said that is deficient in many aspects,” Solas growled taking her lips in his. They kissed slowly and deeply.

“Did you have fun seeing me be flirty with other men?” Ellana said pulling back.

Solas looked down at her, his pupils blown wide. “Why would I enjoy that?” he said low.

“You were staring,” Ellana teased. “I thought you were enjoying the show.”

“Honestly, I pitied him, knowing you’d just end up sauntering back here. Like you are now.”

“Mmmm,” Ellana lowered her gaze to his mouth, which slowly connected with hers. They stayed like this for a long time, eventually making their way to his bed. They spent the rest of the early morning together and late into the mid-day. 

Chapter Text

Story Twelve

Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!

The urge to run grew louder and louder no matter how fast she ran. First left, then right, then right again. No, that was wrong. It should have been left, left, then right. Turn around, retrace her steps. No, that was wrong too. She did not recognize this forest.

Breathe, breathe and make it real, make her real. She was real and in this forest, so she ran and ran and ran until her legs with caught beneath her. And then she fell. Her legs were caught, and she was bound.

She felt the loathing of her binds, her fine clothes rip to shreds. The feeling of fabric ripping as if the tears were etched into her skin. The garment neither skin nor hair. She felt the evil and the despair creeping into her, it violated her hands and her neck and her eyes. She hated who she was but also hated who this would make her become.

She thought of the skin that would no longer be hers. As a child she wished she could have the skin of the humans. Curse the creator’s for the lot she was given. Her savage bodies obscenity, the cursed anatomy. She smiled at her pain and willingly gave her flesh to the binds.

She felt the first snap, soft and it didn’t hurt. The offensiveness of the sound was more vulgar than the snap itself. She thought it was a joint, but the sound came from her spine. A subtle, wet crack. Then came the pressure.

She reached behind instinctively. Her fingers found the ridge of her spine. What she found, she did not expect. The vertebrae had shifted, bunched into a thick knot. Her hand against exposed bone, the skin and muscle pulled from its casing.

Fever flushed from her cheeks down to her toes. Her brown skin glowed red and slick. Then it began to peel, sloughing off in long, damp sheets. She could feel every inch separating from whatever meat was left beneath. The air exposed her rawness and then she felt the pain.

She also felt another feeling, a new emotion: Despair. She screamed. Ellana woke.

***

Ellana sat up suddenly in her bedroll. She racked her hands along her body and took a silent inventory. The only internal presence she could sense was herself. Her face was drenched in tears and sweat; her hair matted. This nightmare felt different than any nightmare she had ever had, it felt real, it felt like when she was in the Fade.

Ellana’s sudden movement disturbed Solas, who she was sharing a bedroll with. “There you are,” he said sitting up, “I tried to find you, but you were lost to me. Where did you go?”

“I don’t know,” Ellana said rubbing her head. “I felt something…disturbing, breathing down my neck.”

“What was it?”

“It felt like sadness, but eternal. Like all hope was lost and I lost with it,” Ellana looked down at her hands, using them to ground herself.

“Hmmm…” after a moment of contemplation, he added, “did anything say anything to you?”

“No,” Ellana answered. “I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like that.” She placed one hand over her eye and the other felt her back. There was nothing lingering. Solas rubbed her back instinctively in the same place she felt. “Is it morning yet?”

“I’m sure it is but the sun hasn’t rose,” Solas told her. “What did it do when you said nothing to it?”

“Um, it said it’ll be patient,” Ellana recalled unsure. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Solas pursed his lips wanting to continue his line of questioning, but did not ask any further questions. Ellana took a deep breath and then lay back down.

Ellana knew that demons would come to mages in the Fade and try to possess them. Abominations were what those mages would be called. This Abomination used to be formally known as the Herald of Andraste. The Abomination of Andraste.

The thought made Ellana smile for some weird and twisted reason. She lay on her back staring at the top of the canvas tent. Solas laid at her side staring at her profile. She turned to him abruptly, “What?”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Solas asked concerned.

“Yeah, I just need to forget,” Ellana said shutting her eyes. “We are about to storm Corypheus’ forces, I need to go back to sleep.”

***

The party entered a large open area full of trees and greenery. Ellana looked around in awe; the Well of Sorrows was visible in the distance. “Look, the Well of Sorrows. We made it!” Ellana exclaimed pointing in its direction. In all directions were the remains of murals and stone pillars. The room was crumbling, but the beauty of the space endured. The Well, itself, was a small circular pool with broken Eluvians surrounding it. On the far side of the pool was a single unbroken Eluvian.

Ellana felt a sense of peace. She was proud to have her history laid out in front of her, even if it was currently in the process of being desecrated and stolen. Ellana closed her eyes and took a deep breath, smelling the scent of plaster and running water. She could feel the thinness of the veil, like soda water bubbling across her skin.

“So Mythal endures...” Solas mumbled, looking around.

“Andraste guide us.” Cassandra prayed, staring forward towards the Well.

“It’s loud. And so cold.” Cole complained, covering his ears.

Ellana, Solas, Cassandra, and Cole proceeded down the stairs to the chamber floor. As they approached, they saw the red templar Samson and his men fighting for their lives against the sentinels on the chamber floor. After the sentinels were defeated, Samson approaches his men and spats towards the dead sentinels, “You tough bastards–a day’s march, hours of fighting and still fierce as dragons. The Chantry never knew what it was throwing away.” Ellana, feeling the adrenaline flowing through her ran up to Samson, her twin blades glowing. Samson turned to her and said, “Inquisitor. You and those elf-things don’t know when to stop. You’ve hunted us half across Thedas. I should’ve guessed you’d follow us into this hole.”

“I spoke with your Tranquil, Maddox. He sacrificed himself for your cause,” Ellana spat.

“I told him not to…” Samson trailed off; a tone of remorse barely heard within his voice. “He died as one of us, then. One of the faithful.” He took a deep breath preparing himself. “Corypheus chose me twice. First as his general, now as the Vessel for the Well of Sorrows. You know what’s inside the Well? Wisdom. The kind of wisdom that can scour a world. I give it to Corypheus, and he can walk into the Fade without your precious Anchor.”

“Once Corypheus is that powerful, you and your soldiers will just slow him down,” Ellana warned, sneering.

“You dare say that to my face? After you butchered my men?” Samson questioned. “You’re no match for Corypheus. Even if you drink from the Well, you’ll never master its wisdom as he could. This is the strength the Chantry tried to bind. But it’s a new world now. With a new god. So, Inquisitor. How will this go?”

“Power’s all well and good. Until it’s taken away.” Ellana reached into her pocket and pulled out the rune Dagna created and held it up for all to see.

“What did you do? What did you do? My armor. It’s gone. The lyrium–I need it! Kill them all!” Samson screamed in both fear and agony as this armor was rendered useless. Suddenly, a fight broke out. Ellana and her team versus Samson and the red templars. Ellana fought long and hard, earning new scars to add to the trophy that was her body. When Samson was all but defeated, he said in one last plea, “Not the Well, you wretch. You can’t take it from Corypheus. You mustn’t…” Then the templar fell unconscious.

“He’s not ready to go yet,” Cole murmured over the unconscious body.

“We can take him back to Skyhold for judgement,” Ellana finalized, ignoring the unconscious body that no longer held her interest.

The team turned towards the well and ran in its direction. Ellana saw Abelas running up the stairs as they magically appeared with Morrigan giving chase, flying close. “Abelas!” she called. Morrigan shapeshifted from a bird back to a human between Abelas and the Well. Ellana ran up behind the pair.

“You heard his parting words, Inquisitor. The elf seeks to destroy the Well of Sorrows!”

“So, the sanctum is despoiled at last,” Abelas lamented with remorse.

“You would have destroyed the Well yourself, given the chance,” Morrigan pointed out.

“To keep it from your grasping fingers! Better it be lost than bestowed upon the undeserving!”

“Fool! You’d let your people’s legacy rot in the shadows!” Morrigan chastened.

“Corypheus needed Samson to use the Well. Without him, there’s no “Vessel” to claim it,” Ellana cut in. Ellana wanted no harm to come to any of the people present nor the Well.

“The moment we leave, he will send more forces to secure this place,” Morrigan pleaded.  “The Well clearly offers power, Inquisitor. If that power can be turned against Corypheus, can you afford not to use it?”

“Do you even know what you ask? As each servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on… through this. All that we were. All that we knew. It would be lost forever,” Abelas warned.

“Look around you. Everything your people were… it’s already gone,” Ellana said harsher than she intended. Internally, Ellana feared the loss of her people’s history. But, she had to talk Abelas down, or everything would be lost.

“It is,” Abelas lamented. Ellana started panicking at Abelas’ hopelessness.

“There are other places, friend. Other duties. Your people yet linger,” Solas offered to Abelas.

Ellana stared at Abelas hoping Solas’ interruption was enough. “Elvhen such as you?” Abelas clarified.

“Yes. Such as I,” Solas answered.

Turning to face Ellana directly, Abelas said, “You have shown respect to Mythal, and there is a righteousness in you I cannot deny. Is that your desire? To partake of the vir’abelasan as best you can, to fight your enemy?”

“Gifts like this don’t come freely,” Ellana wisely assessed.

“No boon of Mythal was ever granted without cost,” Abelas affirmed. “The vir’abelasan may be too much for a mortal to comprehend. Brave it if you must but know you this: you shall be bound forever to the will of Mythal.”

“Bound? To a goddess who no longer exists, if she ever did?” Morrigan cut in.

“Bound, as we are bound. The choice is yours,” Abelas stood firm in what he said.

“Is it possible this Mythal might still exist?” Ellana asked with genuine interests. If her Goddess lived…

“Anything is possible,” Abelas said maintaining eye contact with Ellana, trying to communicate something that Ellana was not hearing.

“Elven legend states that Mythal was tricked by Fen’Harel and banished to the Beyond,” Morrigan added, trying her best to stay included in the conversation.

“Elvhen legend is wrong. The Dread Wolf had nothing to do with her murder,” Abelas informed her.

“Murder? I said nothing of–“ Morrigan covered her mouth at the revelation.

“She was slain, if a god truly can be. Betrayed by those who destroyed this temple. Yet the vir’abelasan remains. As do we. That is something,” Abelas continued despite her words.

What? Ellana thought to herself. Her entire belief system was being threatened, Ellana could feel herself becoming lightheaded. That same feeling she felt when that ghostly figure stood over her in her nightmare creeped up her neck. She winced at herself, rubbing her neck. Suddenly, Abelas postured himself as if he planned to leave, which captured Ellana’s attention. Raising her eyebrows and looking at Abelas, Ellana asked, “Are you leaving the temple?”

Abelas shrugged, “Our duty ends. Why remain?”

“There is a place for you, lethallin… if you seek it,” Solas added surprising Ellana.

“Perhaps there are places the shemlen have not touched,” the ancient elf murmured.

“You could come with us. Fight Corypheus. He killed your people,” Ellana offered to the powerful man, a piece of walking history, not wanting him to leave.

“We killed ourselves, long ago.” Ellana looked at Abelas dumbfounded. She had no idea what that meant or if it was an answer to her invitation.

“Malas amelin ne halam, Abelas,” Solas offered in the ancient tongue. Abelas paused and watched Solas. A silent conversation passing between the two. Ellana looked at them both, confused. After a moment, Abelas turned to leave. Solas spoke up, “His name. Abelas means sorrow. I said… I hoped he finds a new name.”

“Is that right?” Ellana said, eyes squinted in mistrust. Solas nodded with sincerity and Ellana chose to believe him, even if she only was able to understand half of what was said. Ellana turned to Morrigan and nodded to her to follow her to the Well. Morrigan and Ellana stood at the edge looking over into the Well of Sorrows. Both women then looked at the Eluvian on the other side. “You’ll note the intact Eluvian. I was correct on that count, at least,” Morrigan said trying to save face.

Ellana pointed at the Eluvian. “Is it still a threat? Can Corypheus use it to travel the Fade?”

Morrigan answered, “You recall when I took you through my Eluvian, I said each required a key? The Well is the key. Take its power, and Mythal’s last Eluvian will be no more use to Corypheus than glass. I did not expect was the Well to feel so…hungry.” Morrigan stared into the well, eyes wide.

“Don’t go any closer, Morrigan,” Ellana warned the woman.

Incredulous, Morrigan turned to Ellana. “I am willing to pay the price the Well demands. I am also the best suited to use its knowledge in your service.”

“Or more likely, to your own ends,” Solas challenged from behind.

Morrigan scoffed. “What would you know of my “ends,” elf?”

“You are a glutton drooling at the sight of a feast. You cannot be trusted,” Solas answered. Ellana couldn’t help but agree.

Cassandra took the moment to speak up. “Ellana, I do not like this. She is far too eager.”

Morrigan, annoyed with the group suddenly turning on her, said, “I do not hide it. To restore lost knowledge, I would risk much.”

“And what would you do with it? You could be worse than Corypheus,” Cassandra asked.

Morrigan rolled her eyes. “So, paralyze yourself for fear of what might be? I can give nothing but my word. Of the people present, I alone have the training to make use of this. Let me drink, Inquisitor.”

This pissed Ellana off. ““You alone”? This is my heritage!” Ellana pointed at herself angrily. Losing it all to despair, the thought creeped into Ellana’s mind.

Equally as angry, Morrigan argued, “I have studied the oldest lore. I have delved into mysteries of which you could only dream! Can you honestly tell me there is anyone better suited?”

Is she joking?, Ellana thought crossing her arms over her chest. “Actually yes. What about you, Solas? Is it not our right?”

“No. Do not ask me again,” Solas stated, the cold edge of disgust under his breath.

Ellana winced at the harshness of Solas’ tone and his rejection. Ellana turned towards Morrigan, “I don’t know who’s “better suited,” and neither do you.”

“I have the best chance of making use of the Well… for everyone. Let me drink.”

“What’s to stop you from taking the knowledge and leaving?”

Morrigan took a deep breath and answered, “My word. If that seems insufficient, Corypheus threatens all–even me. He must be stopped.”

Unconvinced, Ellana asked, “And who stops you?”

Bowing her head, “I, Inquisitor, seek neither immortality nor your life.” Morrigan stood tall, confident, and genuine.

Ellana stood in quiet contemplation. She feared possession even from an entity that may no longer exist. But she also feared losing her history to a human. However, one fear was stronger than the other. “It’s yours,” she whispered in shame, her head hung, and her eyes squeezed shut.  With a nod and a smile, Morrigan entered the Well and submerged herself in it. A wave rolled over the area, drenching everyone. Ellana ran up to Morrigan lying unconscious in the empty basin. “Morrigan? Are you all right?”

Waking, Morrigan mumbled, “Ellasin selah! Vissan… vissanalla…I… I am intact. There is much to sift through… but now we can–” As Morrigan talked, Corypheus stepped through the temple doors and reached out towards the group. He rose from the ground, and flew after them, screaming in rage. Terrified, Morrigan motioned towards the Eluvian, yelling, “To the Eluvian!”

Ellana following command, ran towards the Eluvian. “Come on everyone! Through the mirror!”

The Eluvian activated, and the party rushed through. As they ran, a figure rose from the empty Well, following them. As it entered the Eluvian, it deactivated. The party stumbled out of the mirror and into the storeroom back in Skyhold. Morrigan turned to deactivate the Eluvian once Ellana passed through. “It is done,” Morrigan said. Ellana and Morrigan turned towards each other, and as if of one accord, walked toward the counsel room.

As they entered, the advisors were in the middle of a private meeting. Ellana and Morrigan filled the group in on what happened. When questioned on if Corypheus would vacate the temple, Morrigan answered, “What he wanted is no longer within the temple.”

“Perhaps. He spent so long trying to get into that temple, he probably couldn’t have helped his forces by that point.” Cullen reflected.

With joy, Josephine celebrated, “Then Corypheus is finished.”

“If he is wise, he will hide and rebuild his strength before he attacks again,” Leliana cautioned.

“He will not hide,” Morgan warned.

“And I won’t hide from him” Ellana warned in return.

“He knows this, and will act accordingly,” Morrigan offered.

“And how could you have such insight into his plans?” Leliana asked unconvinced of Morrigan’s knowledge.

Turning towards Leliana with an air of superiority, Morrigan answered, “The Well of Sorrows held many voices, and they speak to me now from across the ages. They hold wisdom, secrets I never dreamed possible. But even they fear what Corypheus has become.”

Ignoring the tension between the two women, Ellana asked, “Should we fear him more than his army?”

Morrigan turned back towards Ellana. “Possibly. Luckily for you, he has a weakness. The dragon he calls is not truly an Archdemon. It is a dragon, in which Corypheus has invested part of his being. He did so out of pride, to emulate the gods of old. But that pride can be exploited. Kill the dragon, and his ability to leap into other bodies is disrupted. He can be slain.”

Exacerbated, Ellana pointed out, “Corypheus won’t just stand by and let us kill his dragon.”

Morrigan shrugged and said, “Of course not, yet you must do it even so. There is a way to defeat the dragon, to match Corypheus in his power. The Well whispers it to me now…” Morrigan turned from her spot and left the room without any goodbyes.

Cullen watched Morrigan leave and then turned to Ellana. “I’ll see to Skyhold’s defenses in the meantime and set up Samson’s transport to Skyhold for judgment,” Cullen excused himself and left.

Turning the two ladies who remained at the tabled, Ellana began, “The Well of Sorrows was constructed in ancient times. There may be information left in the Elvhen legends written among the walls, or in crumbling papers in the libraries. I want to send people to research how the Elvhes made it.”

“You recognized the magic used in the Well? I could have the universities in Val Royeaux could look into it for us,” Leliana offered shocked.

“Yes but, wouldn't the oldest human records on magic be found in Tevinter? I can arrange for our scholars to visit Minrathous' archives,” Josephine offered as well.

“Doesn’t matter, between the two of you, see to it complete,” Ellana turned leave. She paused for a moment, turning her head towards the two ladies, “Watch your backs.”

***

Ellana needed a moment away and wanted to take that moment with her lover. She looked for Solas in the Rotunda. When she did not find him there, she knocked on his door. Ellana’s knocking resulted in no answer. She tried to turn push open the door; it was locked. “I wonder…” she began.

Satisfied that he was not in his room, Ellana returned to her own quarters. Too her surprise, this is where she found him. He was lounging on her couch, writing in his journal. When he heard her coming up the staircase, he closed his journal and sat up straight. “Oh, you’re back,” he said when he saw her.

“Yes, I just left from your room. I was wondering where you were,”

“I wanted to check on you and see how you were,” Solas asked. “I know you don’t want to talk about this…but I must ask.”

“What? About how you refused the Well?” Ellana interrupted with irritation. She knew Solas wanted to talk more about her nightmare that blocked her from him in the Fade, but Ellana would rather cause an argument than discuss her dreams. A part of her felt guilty being outwardly hostile to Solas without reason or cause, but the guilt was not strong enough to stop her, so she added, “and how you snapped at me?”

“I do not recall doing any such thing,” Solas frowned but still maintaining his even and calm tone. “I did refuse the Well, and I would have done it again if given the opportunity.”

Ellana was silently pleased that her distraction was successful, even if it may cause a rift between them. “Right,” Ellana said walking past him and sitting on her bed. She removed her shoes and began removing her outer armor. “I just can’t believe that all those memories are lost to a human.”

“You had the opportunity…”

“And you would have supported me, given your refusal. If you thought it was a bad idea, you’d still urge me to take the sacrifice?”

“Of course not, I was just pointing out…”

“Of course you are!” Ellana lost her grip and dropped one of her shin guards onto the floor. It landed with a clang. The moment gave her the opportunity to stop and think for a moment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night and it’s quite late now.”

“I am happy you didn't drink from the Well,” Solas moved to help Ellana remove her remaining armor. “I only hoped you would know that it would not have been worth whatever price you’d pay. I suppose it is better that Morrigan have the power than Corypheus, which leads to the next question…What will you do with the power of the Well once Corypheus is dead?”

“I’ll use whatever power I have to undo the chaos that Corypheus and his allies have caused.”

“You would put things back the way they were before?” He looked surprised at the idea.

“Yes. I mean, not exactly…” Ellana suddenly doubted her answer.

“I know what you mean.” After a moment, he added, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“You have not been what I expected, Inquisitor. You have… impressed me. You honor the past and work to recover what was lost, even if the cost is high. I respect that, and I am indebted to you for the reminder.”

“You’re welcome, I think,” she said suddenly unsure.

“Forgive my melancholy. Corypheus has cost us a lot. The Temple of Mythal did not deserve such fate. The orb he carries, and its stolen power… that, at least, we may still recover. With luck, some of the past may yet survive.”

Ellana smiled at him with wearing eyes. “You say some strange things sometimes.”

“Do I?” Solas asked surprised by her words.

“Yes, but I think you’re being grim and fatalistic in the hope of getting me into bed,” Ellana wiggled her eyebrows to add to the dramatic effect.

“I am grim and fatalistic. Getting you into bed is just an enjoyable side benefit,” Solas paused, thinking, silently. “Come with me, Vhenan.”

“Come with you where?”

“I have a place I want to take you, just us two.” Solas smiled at her, standing. Ellana stood with him, removing her overcoat. “Let’s leave tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

Story Thirteen

Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!

The urge to run grew louder and louder no matter how fast she ran. First left, then right, then right again. No, that was wrong. It should have been left, left, then right. Turn around, retrace her steps. No, that was wrong too. She did not recognize this forest.

Breathe, breathe and make it real, make her real. She was real and in this forest, so she ran and ran and ran until her legs with caught beneath her. And then she fell. Her legs were caught, and she was bound.

Wait! This is all the same, it’s the same nightmare. She knew this, and with knowledge came control. She did not need to run, stay, or fall. Ellana closed her eyes and used her will.

When she opened her eyes again, Ellana stood alone, left in the dark of the night. No longer in the forest but lying under the night sky. A night sky that was still unfamiliar, however, it was not threatening. She reached up to her face, down to her torso, reached behind, feeling for her spine. Everything was back to normal, as if nothing ever happened.

Then it was there. At her feet stood a presence that she had felt before, but one that never showed its face. Despair.

“I was wondering how long I’d have to wait until I had the chance to meet you face-to-face,” Despair looked down at her, something like yearning in its voice. The figure was ghostly, noncorporeal, with no face. Silence: no response came from her. Glassy eyes looked up into the smoke, and she tried to move. But her body would not listen. Silent sobs came from her, she would have rather been stripped of flesh than become possessed in this way. “Unfortunately, I need you to invite me in. So, as it seems you can’t respond, I shall stay patient. Until next time.”

The figure disappeared. The presence was gone. Ellana woke.

***

Ellana sat in her bed alone at an inn in Crestwood. The recognition of her current location and the memory of how it came to be swam into her mind. The room was small, and simply furnished with a bed, side table and chair, and a fireplace. There was a washroom off the side of the bed, which Ellana intended to use, once she oriented herself back to reality. Ellana took three deep breaths to center herself, as she did, she realized that she was crying. Reaching towards her face, she wiped away her tears and wiped some of the dried tears from her eyelashes.

Standing, she walked into the en suite washroom. She looked into the mirror and screamed, punching the reflection and shattering the mirror. Ellana fell back into the wall and fell down onto the floor. With a hard thud, she remembered that that was her in the mirror. It was the first time Ellana saw herself since earlier that evening, when she arrived at the inn, alone. And, it was the first time that Ellana had ever seen her face without her Vallaslin, or at least the first time since it was placed when she turned sixteen. She sobbed at the memory of her new reflection in horror. “That’s what I look like?” she cried into the empty room. Her memories of her ceremony of when the Vallaslin was placed swam through Ellana’s mind. Her memories of performing the ceremony on others as Clan Lavellan’s First played though her mind as well. So many important memories and experiences tied to the Vallaslin that she let Solas remove from her face, and the symbolism was now lost to her. Ellana stayed on the washroom floor for a long time. She stayed there until she could not find any more tears to cry.

Sometime during the night, she fell asleep on the washroom floor. She was awoken by the sun shining through a slightly dirty window, obstructing her vision for a moment. As recognition returned to her she looked around and a blush creeped onto her face. A rush of shame covered her, and she cursed herself for allowing herself to sink so low that she slept on a washroom floor. She stood to wash her face but stopped when she saw that the bin was full of glass. A dangerous thought flashed through her mind, it’s all over, so just end it. The thought alarmed her, especially because it was not her voice.

Panicking, Ellana dressed and left her room, grabbing the key and locking it behind her. With her belongings in tow, she made her way down the staircase to the manager working at the front desk. When he saw her, he greeted her saying, “Inquisitor! My apologies for yesterday, when you arrived it was very late, and I wasn’t myself. Some onlookers recognized you and chastised me thoroughly. Please forgive me.”

Ellana looked at the man unable to remember what he was talking about. “I want to check out,” she ignored. “Has the horse been fed?”

“Yes, and brushed,” he answered dutifully. “Thank you for your patronage Inquisitor. You don’t understand how by staying at my little inn, you’ve changed my life.”

Ellana looked at the man with uninterest, unable to find the motivation to match his enthusiasm. Dryly, she responded, “of course.” She pulled a sack of gold and placed it onto the countertop, “I accidentally broke the mirror in the room, I hope this will be more than enough to cover the lodging and the mirror.”

The man grabbed the bag and looked inside, his eyes widening with astonishment. Ellana had given the innkeeper all of the money she had brought for her and Solas’ romantic getaway, which she obviously no longer needed. “Oh Maker, this is more gold than I would make if I rented out every room for a month. Thank you Inquisitor.” Ellana nodded and turned to leave, and the man said after her, “one more thing, a bald elf stopped by asking if anyone who fit your description inquired about lodging.”

“What did you tell him?” Ellana asked.

“He identified himself as being a high-ranking member of the Inquisition, he showed proof and everything, so I told him the truth. He left immediately after.”

“I see, thank you.” Ellana said, quickly leaving the inn. She walked to the stable and requested her horse from the stableman. She told him to ask the innkeeper for his tip since she just gave him a small fortune, and he joked that his father would rather die than tip his sons.

Ellana shook her head in disbelief, mounted her horse and set off for Skyhold. She was only on her ride for a few moments when the memories flooded her. She immediately asked herself why Solas bothered to check on her wellbeing. She also indulged herself and let herself wonder how many inns he checked in the last night. She then remembered her nightmare, realizing that he probably could not find her in the Fade. Ellana smiled to herself in malice, hoping that not being able to find her caused him distress, that he was running maniacally from inn to inn like a crazy man.

Ellana wavered a bit in the saddle. She took a breath; she needed to pay more attention to riding before she fell off. Ellana rode passes an Inquisition scouting camp and took a quick stop. She said her greetings to the scouts who were present and had one agree to send a word to Skyhold that she would be arriving sooner than anticipated. Well, she did so only after she convinced the scout that she, Ellana, was in fact the Inquisitor, needing to present her insignia. The embarrassed scout bowed and took their leave.

Mounting her horse, Ellana continued her ride. Stopping only to allow her horse to rest and sleep. After setting up a small camp, Ellana used her knowledge of basic hunting to trap a rabbit. It took a few tries, and Ellana was shocked at just how rusty she had gotten. Ellana felt sadness wash over her, she was losing the skills that her parents had taught her. She felt remorse thinking about how she would be unable to pass on traditions to her children if she forgot them.  

Her children…The thought of losing the opportunity to have children threatened to overwhelm Ellana and she started sobbing. She had lost out on her opportunity to have a family. She lost out on her opportunity to rebuild. She really was the only one left, and Solas took it all from her.

Ellana reflected on the events of the previous night as she rubbed her face where her Vallaslin once sat. Solas had left Ellana to a beautiful grotto in the middle of Crestwood. It was nestled in a cave, and the veil was thin. Ellana remembered how she could feel the tingle of magic on her skin.

I was trying to determine some way to show you what you mean to me; Solas had said to her with his hands on her face. Ellana had looked up at him through flattering lashes. The moment was perfect and secretly Ellana had hoped that this was where their future started. Ellana had dared to hope that in that place, Solas would have asked her to be his wife; and they would promise one another that they would create their own clan, together.

But that was not what happened. Her world changed so suddenly, too quickly to truly understand. He told her how unique she was, how she was the most important person in all of Thedas to him. Then he told her that the markings on her face, since she was sixteen years old, were slave markings. Ellana didn’t understand. She argued that her people reclaimed the meaning, and they meant something else, something more. He replied even toned; A noble would mark his slaves to honor the god he worshipped. She started crying and he apologized saying, I didn’t tell you this to hurt you. And how could he? He was not Dalish, he knew nothing of the culture his truth had tarnished.

To try and cheer her up, Solas offered to remove the Vallaslin, but by that part Ellana was too consumed by her emotions. Barely listening she replied that she does not know and that she was not sure. Looking up into his smiling face, she trusted him, she had to for their future was in jeopardy. So, she let him remove her Vallaslin and with it she lost the last part of her identity.

Ellana watched the pride shine in Solas’ face as he said, Ar lasa mala revas, and told her how beautiful she was. But Ellana did not feel free, and she did not feel beautiful. And then in a moment something in Solas changed. He was different, his eyes were suddenly different and something was wrong. Very wrong.

Solas looked her in her eyes and shattered her world. She lost her focus, and rage took over her very being. Ellana yelled, You bring me here, take the Vallaslin from my face, and now you just end it?

He attempted to apologize, but his attempts failed. Ellana grew angrier and her tears spilled from her eyes. She gnashed her teeth and squeezed her hands into fists. Solas could not leave her, not like this. Their future, their children, their clan, what about it all? She screamed into the night, Banal’abelas, banal’vhenan! And then Solas was gone, just like that.

***

Ellana arrived in Skyhold two days later, having pushed both herself and her horse to the brink of exhaustion. She quietly thanked her horse for getting them back safely and apologized for taking her emotions out on its body. She took the long way to her quarters hoping not to run into anyone on the walk.

Her room was the same. Ellana removed her clothing and drew herself a bath in the washroom. When the tub was full, she gently lowered herself inside, closing her eyes and plunging herself underneath the water. Ellana intended to hold herself under the water until her lungs burned for air, but suddenly she heard someone calling for her.

“Your holiness, I was only just told that you had returned. I would have been here when you arrived if I’d had known,” Seraelia scurried into the washroom, bowing upon entering. Ellana sat up out of the water as Seraelia stood tall. Seraelia’s eyes widened in both shock and horror as her eyes fell upon her face. “Andraste’s tits! No, I’m sorry Inquisitor, please forgive my language. It was a lapse in judgment. I was just surprised. You look different.” Ellana stared at Seraelia with a thousand-yard stare. When Ellana did not forgive or scold, Seraelia tried, “You look beautiful as always, just different. Did you have fun on your vacation with Solas? Tell me he proposed.”

Ellana turned to look at the bathwater with consideration. Should she tell Seraelia the truth? Ellana’s tears were answer enough and at the sight, Seraelia rushed to the side of the tub. “Oh no, what happened?” Seraelia asked with genuine concern, her eyebrows furrowing.

“You have to swear that you won’t tell anyone,” Ellana commanded crying.

“I swear by the Maker himself,” Seraelia swore.

“Solas ended our relationship, but first he did this,” Ellana pointed at her face with emphasis.

“How did he remove your Vallaslin?” Seraelia asked looking over Ellana’s face with shock. “Why did he remove your Vallaslin?”

“I don’t know, Seraelia. He told me it was slave markings and asked if I wanted it removed…”

“What?” Seraelia asked. Ellana was not sure if she asked in disbelief or because of how stupid Ellana acted in hindsight. Ellana knew why she agreed, she did not want Solas to be mad at her and have a reason to leave. She had clung to a piece of hope for a future with him and was willing to do anything to have that future.

Ellana took a deep breath, noticing that her tears had stopped. She took advantage of the moment, “Do you mind leaving for a moment? I want to finish up here.” With a nod, Seraelia excused herself, leaving Ellana alone. Seraelia’s reaction was not horrible, but it was not good either. Ellana wondered how the others would react to her new face. She also wondered how they would react to the news that Solas had ended their relationship.

Ellana finished bathing and dressed in her nightgown. She returned to her room to find Seraelia sitting on her couch. “I see that you plan to stay here for the rest of the evening. Would you like me to request anyone to come to your quarters?”

“I don’t want to be around anyone,” Ellana said sounding defeated.

“I know, Your Holiness, but I don’t think isolation is going to make you feel better. That former Templar you’ve seen me with told me that mages who are hurting emotionally are more susceptible to possession and the emotions can weaken the veil, if the mage is strong enough. I think you’d be considered strong enough.” Seraelia watched Ellana with both apprehension and concern for both their wellbeing and everyone at Skyhold.

Ellana knew Seraelia was correct. It would be irresponsible to have her emotions run wild, so she said, “Okay, your right. Can you request Dorian and Cassandra to come here?” Ellana would not have minded Cole’s compassionate presence as well; however, she also knew that Cole would repeat everything to Solas.

“Of course, Inquisitor.” Seraelia bowed out and left the room. Ellana turned towards her mirror and took in the full length of herself. She approached the object, rubbing her fingers among the absent void of her face. She stared and imagined herself with her Vallaslin, turning her head towards her desk. Ellana considered for a moment drawing the Vallaslin onto her face with ink and quill but shook the thought from her mind. Maybe she would return to that thought spiral later, when she knew she would not be interrupted.

Sitting crossed leg on the floor in front of the fireplace, Ellana began her deep breathing. She breathed in for four counts and exhaled for four counts as well. Repeating her breathing cycle ten times, she also tried clenching and releasing her fists. Ellana wanted to be centered for when her friends joined her. She knew they knew how she felt about Solas, but she never shared the extent of the hopes she had for the relationship. Ellana would share that know, clearly and plainly, hoping it would allow her to grieve her lost future.

Ellana eyed a pair of scissors that lay among her desk supplies and went to grab them. Returning to the mirror, she remembered how Solas would comment on his love for her hair. A large part of Ellana no longer wanted Solas to be able to look upon her with such attraction, so she decided she would take this from both of them. And thus, she made the first snip. She cut and cut until her hair looked similar to a mullet, longer along the center and about half as long on the sides.

Ellana looked at her white curls as they lay lifeless on the floor and then up at herself. The haircut was hideous, but it was befitting. She no longer felt beautiful and hopefully the haircut distracted people from her face. If anything, she hoped seeing Solas’ reaction would make her feel vindicated.

After a few more minutes, Seraelia returned with Dorian and Cassandra. The look of wide-eyed horror on Seraelia’s face brought some type of catharsis to Ellana. “Maker, Ellana. What the fuck!” Dorian yelled as he entered the space, stepping around Seraelia, who was shocked and had yet to move from her spot.

“Ellana, what did you do?” Cassandra said equally as shocked. Dorian bent down to the floor and picked up one of the discarded curls and twisted it in his fingers. “What happened?” Cassandra kneeled next to Ellana and hugged her, watching her from the mirror.

Ellana rose and sat on her bed, “come, sit with me.” As her two friends sat with her on her bed, Seraelia finding herself, began picking up the hair that littered the floor. “Leave that Seraelia.”

“But Your Holiness…”

“I said, leave it!” Ellana commanded. Then much softer, “Please. You’re excused for the remainder of the evening. And remember your promise.”

“I remember. Have a goodnight.” Seraelia bowed and excused herself from the others.

After Ellana heard the click of her door closing, she began, “I don’t know where to begin.”

“Begin with your face,” Dorian instructed while tapping his arm, frowning. “Because I know it has something to do with that apostate, and I really don’t want to have to do anything irrational.”

“Solas brought me to a grotto in Crestwood and was being really sweet. He told me that he wanted to tell me the truth about my Vallaslin and said they were slave markings.”

“What!” Dorian interrupted.

“Dorian please,” Cassandra begged, annoyed.

Ellana continued, “Solas asked if I wanted it removed. I didn’t want to disappoint him, so I told him to remove the Vallaslin. He told me how beautiful I was and then broke up with me.” Ellana waited for her two friends to respond but it was clear that they thought there would be more to the story. When they did not respond after a long pause, Ellana added, “That’s all that happened.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Cassandra offered. “Solas knew how important your Vallaslin was to you! You knew how important it was to you! Maker, I knew! Why would you agree?”

“Solas values the integration of beliefs with new information. I thought I would disappoint him if I said no. And I did not want to upset him, because I thought he would leave me.” The final sentence, Ellana said in a guilty whisper.

“Why is Solas worth losing a part of your identity, Ellana?” Cassandra asked with concern and disbelief. Dorian had since stood and was pacing the floor in silent anger.

“I don’t know, I love him Cassandra and I thought we could bring my clan back together!” Ellana admitted. “I wanted him to help me. It was stupid, I know. And I know I’m better than this, but it’s how I feel and I…I…wanted a child to teach it the ways.” Ellana was quietly crying now as Cassandra held her hand.

Dorian paused his pacing, “Ellana, how did he remove the Vallaslin and is there a way to put it back?”

“He casted some kind of spell, I don’t know if it can be reversed. The only idea I have is to have it replaced by a Keeper from another clan. But no Dalish clan would perform the ceremony on me after what I’ve done, let alone welcome me in to even ask.” Ellana paused to cry some more.

Cassandra continued to rub her hand, saying, “We are here for you Ellana. Right Dorian?”

“Of course,” Dorian answered. “Do you want me to say something to him?”

“No,” Ellana whispered. “I don’t know what I did to make him break up with me.”

“Men are stupid Ellana, especially that one” Dorian offered. “It was probably nothing you did.” Ellana smiled at his attempt to make her feel better.

“Do you want us to spend the night with you?” Cassandra asked.

“That would be nice,” Ellana smiled.

“Good,” Cassandra smiled in return. “And then maybe you can explain your new haircut, yes?”

Ellana woke up the next morning to Seraelia bringing a tray of breakfast for her, Cassandra, and Dorian. Ellana said thank you to her handmaiden and offered to give her the day off. As expected, Seraelia gave some pushback, but Ellana insisted as she was not supposed to arrive back for a few more days.

Ellana woke up her two friends and the three of them had breakfast together. Ellana decided that she should try and continue her routine as normal and attend her morning advisor meeting. Dorian and Cassandra reminded her that she was officially on vacation and should continue her vacation.

While they were debating, Seraelia walked back in causing the group to quiet. “I’m sorry for the intrusion Inquisitor, but I thought you’d want to know that I saw Solas walking into the Rotunda.” Seraelia bowed and ducked back out.

The three of them turned towards each other, “So, he’s back,” Cassandra said unsure.

“I know the two of you are also friends, Cassandra,” Ellana said trying to meet her gaze. “You are allowed to check on him too, even if it makes me upset.”

“Maybe you can get some information out of him for Ellana,” Dorian suggested.

“I don’t know,” Cassandra pondered. “Your my friend first, but maybe I can help both of you come back together.”

“It’s worth trying,” Ellana shrugged. “I’d owe you and I can’t lie; I want to be with him.”

“Okay, I will see you both later then,” Cassandra nodded to them and left the room, leaving Ellana and Dorian alone.

“I’m going to leave, you get dressed and then come find me,” Dorian said getting up to leave as well.

When he left Ellana, rose to get dressed. After dressing, she took a moment to read through some of the letters that had been left of her desk. One letter was from an Orlesian noble requesting her hand in marriage for her son. Ellana chuckled and returned the letter to the desk. The letter reminded her that she should say hello to Josephine. Ellana reasoned she should have some time to say hello and lessen the shock of her new look before Josephine needed to attend her meeting.

Making her way to Josephine’s office was better than Ellana expected. No one looked her way or recognized her. Ellana pushed open the door to the office and approached the desk. Josephine quickly glanced up and said,  “Inquisitor Lavellan you’ve returned early, I—oh! Forgive my surprise. Your face is… I thought those markings were permanent. And your hair!”

Ellana sheepishly responded, “Solas could tell you all about it.”

“I’m sure. Perhaps we could talk of other things, then,” Josephine awkwardly changed the subject.

Ellana shrugged, “we could. I wanted to say hello and let you know that I’m back. But I’m not resuming duties until tomorrow.”

“Understandable,” Josephine responded. “Are you alright, Ellana?”

“Yes, I just wanted you to see me, so it’s not such a surprise later.”

“I see and I understand,” Josephine affirmed.

Ellana bowed her head and left. Ellana turned toward the direction of the library. She opted to use the staircase off the side of the throne room, rather than go through the Rotunda. On the way, Ellana received a few stares, but nothing she could not handle.

As she approached Dorian, he said, “There you are!”

***

Ellana spent the rest of the day catching up with Dorian, who was more than happy to provide her with a distraction. They met up in the afternoon with Cassandra at Herald’s Rest and had a drink with Bull. Sera and Blackwall were there too, so the six of them were able to catch up and work on putting any ill feelings behind them. Much to Ellana’s surprise, neither Bull or Blackwall had brought up her new look, but Sera asked about it. Ellana responded with the truth about the Vallaslin and that she opted to have it removed. She left out the part about things ending with Solas.

For the most part, people around asked more about Ellana’s haircut then her Vallaslin missing. Ellana reasoned that asking about a haircut is probably more socially acceptable than asking why your face tattoos were gone. Either way, she felt better knowing that most have seen her and that no one put on a show of noticing.

As the evening approached, Ellana was feeling at ease, knowing she had gone through the entire day without running into Solas once. On her way to her quarters, she ran into Josephine who told her that they were finally able to get another small shipment of the Orlesian cakes that Ellana preferred. Ellana smiled to herself, realizing how good this day had gone and how happy she felt for this little reward. Hoping to encourage these good feelings Ellana went to grab a slice of cake from the kitchen.

Ellana took three steps into what she thought was an empty kitchen, when her entire mood soured. Ellana cursed, lamenting her loss of good fortune. Sitting across from where Ellana stood sat Solas, eating a slice of the cake that Ellana was planning to eat. Ellana chuckled a bit at the irony of the moment, this was the same situation with the same type of cake that led Ellana and Solas to spend their first night together.  

Solas saw her immediately and looked like he wanted to flee, but he sat still. Ellana looked at his plate and then back at him. Ellana considered leaving, but she wanted her cake, and he had it. If they were still together, she would be willing to share, but they were not together, and she was unwilling to share. Ellana crossed her arms, and asked with an annoyed tone, “Why are you eating my cake? I waited months to get that sent here.”

“I thought…”

“You thought what? You could take this too?” Ellana realized that she was letting her emotions impact her demeanor again and paused.

“I am sorry, Inquisitor,” Solas apologized, standing to leave. “I made a mistake, I see that now. I will take my leave. Please let me know if I can be of any service.” Solas bowed, actually bowed to her, like a servant.

His formality enraged Ellana, who was trying her hardest not to erupt. But Ellana was not going to let him walk away, not again. “You don’t get out of this that easily.”

“I am unsure of what you’re referring to,” Solas said standing.

“Oh, don’t play stupid, you are way too intelligent for that. I’d like to discuss what happened before, Solas, in Crestwood.” Ellana clarified.

“I understand your anger. I am furious with myself as well. But, for now, we must focus on what matters.” Ellana did not respond to his answer. After a moment, Solas stood straight and placed his hands behind his back. Ellana knew by now that the stoic pose was a way to place up an emotional wall and that Solas planned to shut her out. Solas added, “Harden your heart to a cutting edge, and put that pain to good use against Corypheus.”

Ellana was not going to let him win. “It would help me if you could explain why.”

“The answers would only lead to more questions, an emotional entanglement that would benefit neither of us. The blame is mine, not yours. It was irresponsible and selfish of me. Let that be enough.”

“Emotional entanglement? Solas we did more than just…Solas please, you know how…” Ellana did not know what to say. Ellana wanted to cry, but she held it in. She tried to change the subject, get to the truth a different way. “Why are you pretending that you don’t see anything different about me.” Solas’ face shifted. Ellana smiled; she got him. Solas looked up at her hair and then back at her face. Multiple emotions played across his features, none of them positive. He was thinking, calculating what to say without having to give her anything. Ellana knew him so well; this was how’d he treated strangers. But, she was not a stranger, and she was going to dig the knife, even if it hurt her. “I remembered how much you loved my hair, so what do you think? Am I still beautiful?”

“Vhenan,” Solas broke his composure. “I saw, yes.”

“Yes, what?” Ellana asked. “What, Solas?” Solas took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. Ellana realized that Solas was realizing that he was being baited. Not wanting to lose him, she desperately added, “You were everything to me. Please talk to me.”

“Did you do that to yourself to try and somehow punish me?”

“I did it because I wanted a new look to match my bare face. I think it’s lovely,” Ellana lied, smiling.

“I see.”

“Is that all you have to say?” Solas looked away, visibly placing his wall back up. Ellana tensed realizing; she was losing him. “You really don’t let anybody see under that polite mask you wear, do you?”

“You saw more than most.”

“I don’t know why I even tried to talk with you.”

“Because you are hurt. Because I made a selfish mistake. Because you deserve better. Pick any reason.” Solas moved to leave, leaving the cake on the table. Solas passed around Ellana, pausing, but ultimately moving to leave. At the door he turned and said, “Let me know if I can be of any more help in planning our final fight.”

With that, he was gone. Ellana took a deep breath and looked at the plate of cake and the box on the counter. She took both and walked to her quarters. At least she got her cake.

Chapter Text

Story Fourteen

Ellana stood alone, in the dark of the night. No pretenses this time, It was there. In front of her stood the presence that she had felt before, Despair.

“Good to see you again,” Despair smiling at her, or what she felt was supposed to be a smile, yearning in its voice. Despair stood forever ghostly, noncorporeal, with no face. Silence: no response came from her. “Do you speak yet?”

Ellana crossed her arms, eyebrow raised. “Why do you keep pulling me away from the greater Fade?”

“She does speak, good—”

“Answer me,” Ellana interrupted, tired of people and things treating her like her she was a piece of their personal games.

“Straight to business then…I want you to invite me in, that’s all.”

“Go to someone else, I have no interest in becoming an abomination. Maybe you should harass a man named Corypheus, I heard he might be a bit desperate right now.” Ellana pulled on the magic of the anchor. She pulled herself out of this pocket of the Fade, causing the figure to disappear.

Once the presence was gone, again Ellana stood alone, in the dark of the night. And once again she was not alone. She looked through the forest line, that frequently decorated her dreams. Ellana thought she saw six green eyes watching her. Not in the mood to deal with a new haunt, Ellana willed herself to wake up.

***

Ellana sat in silence as the meeting played out around her. The day before, she spent the day in the Arbor Wilds with Morrigan convincing Mythal aka Flemmeth aka Morrigan’s Mother to aid them in their final fight against Corypheus. That family drama coupled with the news that her goddess had yet lived left Ellana exhausted before the day even started. Her near constant dream hauntings were not helping either.

It was an all-hands on deck meeting, all advisors, all the inner circle, every supervising body. There were chairs all around, surrounding Ellana and her advisors. There were seconds standing behind their supervisors, taking notes. The Inquisition was planning their final assault on Corypheus’ forces. “When you and Ellana go into the Wilds, did you…find what you need, Morrigan?” Leliana asked with an eyebrow raised.

“I can match the darkspawn Magister’s dragon, yes,” Morrigan nodded in response. “As for matching Corypheus… that is up to the Inquisitor.” Morrigan looked towards Ellana, who nodded in agreement.

“We don’t even know where he is…well we didn’t. Which is why the Spymaster calling this meeting.” Ellana motioned to Leliana to provide the news.

“Yes, one of my spies sent word. They’ve located the location of Corypheus’ dragon and his base of operations,” Leliana announced to the room. “We meet to plan our journey to begin the final assault.

“Which will begin tomorrow morning,” Ellana announced. The room gasped and murmurs began.

Cullen walked over to the side of Ellana, “Inquisitor, we have no forces to send with you–we must wait for them to return from the Arbor Wilds.”

“And when should they return, Commander?” Ellana asked considering, “we know our enemies location and I am sure this location won’t stay the same for long.”

“Four more days, Inquisitor,” Cullen answered.

Ellana thought to herself. “Four days…Everyone listen. Prepare for tomorrow, if the forces return in four days and nothing has changed we leave then. But, if things do change, and knowing life it will, we leave immediately. Plan for such.” Ellana looked around the room at the nods and the murmurs of understanding. “The Spymaster will keep us updated, yes?”

“Of course, Inquisitor,” she replied, nodding.

“You are all dismissed,” Ellana said, dismissing the room. Everyone started filing out. “Seeker, I must speak with you.”

Cassandra approached the seat where Ellana sat. “Yes, Inquisitor?”

“Pick the strongest of the circle, we need them ready.”

“The strongest of the circle, no matter who?”

Ellana turned to Cassandra with an eyebrow raised and then looked past her at Solas, who was in line to file out the room. Ellana looked back at Cassandra, maintaining her gaze. “This is war, personal gripes mean nothing.” With a nod of understanding, Cassandra left Ellana’s presence.

“We should spend time attending to any last-minute loose ends. You never know what tomorrow might bring.” Josephine offered to the five who still sat at the war table.

“Speaking from the heart, Ambassador?” Morrigan questioned.

“Speaking from experience,” Josephine answered.

“After this there will be a vote for the next Divine, how do you feel about your chances Leliana?” Ellana changed the subject knowing where the conversation before was alluding to.

“I am nervous about the vote; I have many ideas of how I would reform the Chantry. Is this your pledge of support, Inquisitor?” Leliana asked.

“You know what I think of the Chantry, anyone offering reform will have my support,” Ellana answered knowingly.

“Spoken like a true diplomat, Inquisitor,” Josephine chuckled with approval.

“Let us end and go about our day, we have much to do,” Ellana clapped her hands together, officially ending the meeting.

“Ellana, I am planning to go pray, would you like to accompany me?” Cullen asked as Ellana prepared to vacate the room.

“Sure, why not?” she agreed.

They walked to the small prayer room that was in the gardens. The gardens were especially beautiful during this time of the year. The trees that Ellana had previously planted were thriving. The sight of the trees and the warmth of the summer brought a smile to Ellana’s face and she took a deep breath. The moment made her especially thankful for the friendship she and Cullen had been able to cultivate over these past few months. A part of her wondered what it would have been like to fall in love with him rather than Solas. Ellana turned to Cullen and smiled; their friendship was too good to lose.

The two entered the prayer place and Cullen bent down in a posture for prayer. Ellana kneeled next to him and leaned back on her calves. “You first, Commander,” Ellana motioned for him to begin.

“Maker, in you the truth is found. Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter. Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just. Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide. I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond. For there is no darkness in the Maker’s light and nothing He has wrought shall be lost.”

“A prayer for you?”

“For those we have lost. And those I am afraid to lose.”

“You’re afraid?”

“Of course I am! Corypheus possessed that Grey Warden at Mythal’s temple. What more is he capable of? It is only a matter of time.”

“I’m glad you haven’t lost your faith.”

“I’ve questioned it at times, but I have found comfort in faith when life offered little. Corypheus will retaliate. It’s only a matter of time. We must draw strength wherever we can.”

“From moments like this, perhaps?” Ellana looked between the two of them and then around the room.

“There are fewer of those lately,” Cullen huffed, considering.

“There’s time now…okay it’s my turn,” Ellana smiled at Cullen and then turned forward. She closed her eyes and began to pray. “Ev'an'ar, ev'a'lath, ma'ghilana ma Vhenan.” She paused and then continued in the common tongue, “Blessed are they who rise, unshaken, before the wicked and the cruel. Their hearts a flame and their will unbroken. Blessed are the Keepers of peace and the Warriors of justice. Though shadows stretch across my path, the Creators’ light shall lead me. No fear shall shake me and no night shall blind me, for their hands guide beyond the veil.” When she was done she opened her eyes and turned to the man next to her and said, “Thank you for everything, Commander.” The two stood and hugged. Cullen’s armor was bulky, and it was hard to wrap her arms around, but Ellana could feel the emotional warmth that he radiated.

“I’m going to spend a few more minutes here,” Cullen informed once they broke the hug.

Ellana nodded in understanding and left him to his prayers. She walked through the gardens for a few minutes and then decided to walk in the courtyard. The summer warmth was such comfort, especially since Ellana knew there was a loose end that she needed to tie. Ellana had spent some time considering what she should do about her dreams being haunted, and unfortunately there was only one dreamer that Ellana knew of. As much as she dreaded it, she needed to consult with Solas, but she was going to procrastinate as long as possible.

Ellana found Cassandra in her usual area polishing her armor. She also had her shield and swords with her to prepare. “Ah, Ellana, I have talked to Varric about being on call, I was going to choose Cole, but Cole said something about being afraid, so I asked Varric, and he agreed. I went with him over Sera because he actually has fought with Corypheus before.”

“Good work, and Solas?”

“You sure you want to bring him over Dorian or Vivienne?” Cassandra asked.

“He is the strongest mage we have other than me, and I know how to fight well with him. It was an unintended consequence of growing so close to him, but that consequence is useful in a fight. So please, yes ask Solas,” Ellana affirmed her mandate while sitting on the bench with Cassandra.

“You’re wise not to rely on what is at the moment. I wonder what Corypheus plans now.”

“We’ll deal with whatever he throws at us.”

“Do not underestimate Corypheus. He is powerful, and you have yet to fight him one-on-one. But he will come. You will get your chance.”

“You don’t seem concerned about that.”

“I’m terrified. Yet I have faith in you. Not long ago, this was impossible to imagine. You, a valued friend. Victory close at hand. The time has come to consider what will come next.”

“We still have to beat Corypheus.”

“I have not forgotten…Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter…You have come far, my friend. It has been an honor.”

“It had been an honor serving with you as well.”

There was a pause in the conversation. Cassandra added, “Do me a favor, talk to Solas yourself. I have a feeling you have something else you need to discuss with him as well.”

“How did you…never mind,” Ellana stopped herself. Cassandra’s wisdom will always shock her. “I will try my best and I will try to maintain my composure.”

“That’s all I ask,” Cassandra said turning back to her work. “See you later.”

Ellana walked up the staircase and made her way to the library. She wanted to talk to Dorian before she talked to Solas. She did choose to walk through the Rotunda and did see Solas. They nodded to one another, respectfully, as she passed through.

Ellana found Dorian in a corner of the library, reading a book. “Dorian, how are you feeling?”

“Annoyed that your choosing to have Solas on call over me,” Dorian said with such intensity, Ellana knew he had been stewing over it for a while.

“I'm assuming Cassandra told you. I know you want to come, but I fight better in tangent with Solas, you can’t deny it,” Ellana reasoned with her friend.

“I know, I can still be mad about it,” Dorian huffed putting his book on the small table next to him. “Sit with me.” Dorian pointed to the open chair next to him and Ellana sat down. “What happened at the elven temple… it’s got me thinking. I should go back, shouldn’t I? To Tevinter. Once this is done… if we’re still alive. All my talk of how terribly wrong things are back home, but what do I do about it? Nothing.”

“What brought this on?”

“You encountered ancient elves. A piece of history, something the Imperium didn’t destroy. Maybe my people can atone for what we’ve done. There is something still left to restore. Maybe not all of us want to, but that could be altered. If you can change minds, so can I.”

“Someone with your impeccable taste could transform Tevinter.”

“I hope you’re right. You usually are. It might surprise you to know that you’re the one who inspired me. It might surprise you to know that you’re the one who inspired me.”

“I, Ellana Lavellan, inspire you, Dorian Pavus?” Ellana giggled.

Dorian laughed, “You’re shaping the world… for good or ill. How could I aspire to any less? If it means proving that Tevinter can be better, that there’s hope even for my homeland? I would do anything.”

“That is a noble cause,” Ellana nodded, “Can I sit and read with you?”

“Of course.” Ellana read with Dorian for a few hours. She knew she was procrastinating going back downstairs, but her chair was so comfortable, and her book was riveting.

“I have to go see to something Dorian, I will talk to you later.” Dorian nodded as Ellana stood up to leave. She walked down the stairs and returned to the Rotunda. Ellana found Solas pouring over some notes and runes. His journal was open, and he referred back and forth from his personal notes and the notes from his tomes.

Ellana took a deep breath, gathering her confidence, and cleared her throat to catch his attention without startling him. Looking up at Ellana, Solas greeted, “Inquisitor. How may I help you prepare for our final battle?”

“Hello, Solas,” Ellana greeted in return. “I wanted to talk with you about your involvement on the siege.”

“Yes?” Solas closed his journal and the books, to give Ellana his undivided attention.

“I want you to be on call for tomorrow morning with Cassandra, Varric, and I. Just in case things change.”

“Me? Is there no one else you’d rather have?”

“Honestly, no. You’re our strongest mage in both power and talent. Also, we fight really well together. We always have.”

Solas considered this. “Okay, I will serve in any way I can. Thank you for considering me.”

“Thank you for agreeing.” Ellana stood silently for a moment. “There is something else I need from you, but I need to speak to you in private.”

Solas looked unsure and apprehensive. “Inquisitor, I don’t know if that would be appropriate given our history.”

“Solas, please, I’m being serious. It’s about the Fade and I’ve been experiencing some things that I rather not have overheard. I need your guidance.” Ellana stood with her eyes closed and fists clenched. She was trying hard to sound genuine, she really wanted his help.

“Okay,” Solas conceded. “I need to finish up somethings and prepare to be on call, but I will come to your quarters after first dinner.” 

***

Ellana returned to her quarters after having first dinner with her advisors. She was nervous about having Solas in her room again but needed his help. Ellana looked in the mirror, checking her appearance. Everything about her looked normal and not at all like she was using this as an excuse to try to come onto Solas, which she was not.

About an hour later, Seraelia came up her stairs and announced that Solas was requesting to come up. Ellana told him to let him in and then told Seraelia not to return to her quarters until tomorrow morning. Seraelia looked unsure but agreed.

Solas slowly walked up her stairs and nodded as he entered. “You called for me?”

“Yes, please sit,” Ellana said motioning towards the couch. Solas looked uncertain but sat anyway. “I first want to apologize for the last time we spoke in private. My feelings were too fresh,” Ellana apologized earning a nod from Solas. “But that’s not why you’re here…um” Suddenly Ellana felt embarrassed, she did not know why she brought that up.

“You were having issues with the Fade. Is it the anchor?”

“No, not the anchor. But I think I’m being haunted in my dreams. I had a Despair demon trying to possess me on at least two occasions. Which made me remember that time you said you couldn’t find me in the Fade. I think it takes me to Fade pockets. I was able to overcome it the last time it tried to take me and go back to my dream. But then there was another presence. It had six eyes, like a Pride demon.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I apologize, that was a lot of information at one time. Please start over and I will ask questions as they come.”

“I had a Despair demon trying to possess me on at least two occasions.”

“Same one?”

“I guess. But it made me remember that time you said you couldn’t find me in the Fade. Do you remember that?”

“I do. And if I am honest, I could not find you either, that night in Crestwood. And you believe it takes you to Fade pockets? Like pieces of the Fade that is cut off from the larger Fade?”

“Yes, and I was able to overcome it the last time it tried to take me and go back to my dream. But then there was another presence.”

“And it had six eyes, like a Pride demon.”

“Yes.”

“Was it a Pride demon?”

“No, it was too small.” Solas looked visibly uncomfortable. “What’s wrong?”

“Huh? Nothing, I am just thinking.”

“Okay. So, what do you think?”

“Well, I’m glad you told me. This is important and you were right. It would lower morale for others to overhear that their leader in at risk for possession. Have you seen either entity since?”

“No, but I choose to tell you now. I think it is because of my intention to confront Corypheus, I believe he is trying to target me from sleep.”

“Which would be difficult, unless he convinced a Dreamer to join his cause.”

“What if he has?”

Solas considered. “I don’t have an answer for you.” Ellana could feel the fear taking over. She was panicking and could not stop it. That familiar feeling of losing control was threatening to overwhelm her, and it was exacerbated by the fact that it had been so long since it last happened. Solas noticed and placed both his hands on either side of her upper arms. “Vhenan, breathe.” She could hear the panic that laced his own words.

Ellana breathed, but the feelings were already there. She fell flat against the bed and allowed the panic to run its course. She stared at Solas, allowing herself to use his features as visual cues to ground herself. Ellana laid out like that for a few minutes until she was able to sit up and breathe properly. Her heart fluttered in her chest; he had called her Vhenan. “You called me Vhenan?”

“Pardon my misspeak, habits die hard it seems,”

Solas opened the metaphorical door, and Ellana was going to step through. “Do you still love me?”

“Ellana, please don’t…”

“Please, we might die tomorrow or the next day. I really just want to die knowing if you still love me.”

Solas took a deep breath, exhausted. He looked at Ellana in the eye and she could see his features soften. “I still love you, yes.” Ellana did the most foolish thing and kissed him. Solas pulled back almost immediately.

“No,” Ellana whined not wanting the moment to end. “More please.”

“I gave you an inch—” Solas warned

“And I took a mile, I know,” Ellana interrupted. “Can I be honest?”

“It seems like honesty is the tone for the evening.”

“I am terrified of dying and I don’t want to die.”

“Most are.”

“Solas please,” Ellana rolled her eyes.

“Right,” Solas looked away and then back at her. “You are carrying a heavy burden, one that most people could not even dream of.”

“Are you ever afraid of death?”

“That I may die, possibly, I don’t think about it often enough to ever bother me. But considering that we may truly perish in our fight with Corypheus, then, honestly, I don’t know.”

“Maybe it would help me if you could explain why.” Solas looked at her confused about her line of thought. Ellana clarified, “Why did you end things with me if you still love me?”

Solas took a deep breath before answering, “I cannot because I have not figured it out.”

“Will you talk to me when we are finished with Corypheus?”

“If we are both still alive afterward, then I promise you, everything will be made clear.”

“What does that mean?” Solas did not answer and avoided eye contact with her. Ellana realized that he did not intend to give her an answer. “Why me?”

“Because I am irresponsible and selfish.”

“Is it because you secretly have a family?” Ellana tried, baiting him to react.

“What!? Absolutely not!”

“You really won’t tell me…Can I continue to be honest with you?”

“If it will make you feel better.”

“I wanted to bring you to my clan and meet my Keeper and take you to the trees planted for my parents. I showed you them through my dreams because I realized that it could never be a reality. I wanted to be with you, forever, and—”

“Vhenan, please,” Solas begged.

“No!” Ellana commanded. “You’re not going to interrupt me. You said I could be honest, so listen.” Solas took a breath and conceded. “—and…and I wanted to recreate my clan. I wanted a daughter, I had hope you would have been her father.” Solas would not make eye contact with Ellana even when she repositioned herself to try and look him in his eyes. “When Clan Lavellan lived, I fantasized of running away together and throwing all that tradition away. I wanted to thank you for supporting me during these months. I would do it all again, even knowing the outcome.” Solas was breathing heavy. Ellana looked at him and saw he was crying. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You don’t understand what I did—” Solas interrupted himself by kissing her. He kissed her fast and hard, harder than that moment on Haven. He then kissed her deeper, deeper than in Crestwood. Then he was on top of her and Ellana was under him.

They were on the couch for a long time together. Ellana eventually came to her senses and sat up against him. “What are we doing?”

“Distracting ourselves from the truth and severity of our situation.”

“Wouldn’t that be selfish and irresponsible of us?”

“Yes.”

Ellana pushed him off of her and stood. She walked over to her bed and sat in the middle. Ellana rubbed her hand over the bed, inviting Solas to join her. Solas stood, his leggings tented and joined her on the bed. Ellana rubbed her hand along his jaw and kissed him deeply, using her tongue to pry open his lips and allow her entrance. Their tongues danced slowly but hungrily. To Ellana it felt like it had been a lifetime since they allowed themselves to do this.

Ellana was happy to ride the wave of Solas’ whims. The hunger in his eyes was palpable. She slid off her shirt and so did he. Then she reached down to untie his leggings from around the tented form that sat there. Once, untied he pulled them down and off, leaving him in just his small clothes. Ellana reached her hand inside, earning herself a moan from Solas. The moan was low, needy, and almost a whimper. Ellana smiled at him with a toothy grin. Solas looked down at her, his face completely red, but he looked ashamed. Ellana slid the hard mass from out of the fabric and bent down to kiss the very tip. She looked up while doing it and Solas’ look of shame, transformed into admiration, but mostly lust. “May I?” Ellana asked longingly, hoping for Solas’ approval.

Solas nodded and Ellana slid him into her mouth. He groaned, while her mouth stretched around him, and he tried to grab her hair. Unfortunately for Solas, Ellana’s hair was inches long compared to the last time Ellana had him in this position, and Solas was unable to grasp her hair efficiently. He swore, “By the way, I truly abhor your haircut.” Ellana chuckled around him, earning her a groan. She slid him out of her mouth and back in at a grueling slow pace. She used her tongue to cushion the underside against her bottom teeth. Ellana savored the motion, savored his taste, knowing this would be the last time she would ever get to. Solas let her go at her chosen pace for about fifteen strokes until he tapped the top of her head. “Vhenan, please, I don’t want this to end so soon.” Ellana pouted but took it as a reward well done, that she brought him so close so fast.

Ellana sat back on her pillows and looked at Solas. He stared at her, as if trying to decide what he was going to do next or what he should do next. Solas reached for her breeches and untied them. He pulled them off of her, lifting her slightly. He bent down between her legs, looked up at her, asking for permission. “I won’t stop you,” Ellana purred smiling. So, he did not. He devoured her through her small clothes. He seemed eager and hungry. Ellana moaned loudly and covered her mouth, when the echo radiated through the room.

His tongue circled her most sensitive spot as slow as she sucked him. It dawned on her why he got so close, so quickly. Was he the evil one or was she? She reasoned that it was him, since she did it in ignorance and he did it with intention. Ellana rubbed his scalp with her thumb, encouraging him. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to enjoy the moment.

Ellana was close, so close. She breathed deep and fast, thrusting up into the bridge of his nose. Solas inserted two fingers into her, moving her small clothes out of the way, and thrusted in tangent with her. Once, twice, and it was enough to bring her to completion. Ellana pulsed around his fingers, feeling herself becoming lightheaded. After a moment her breathing returned to normal, and Solas removed his fingers from her. Cleaning them with his tongue, Solas pulled her bottoms off and removed her breast binding.

Solas looked down at her and she looked up at him. For a moment, it seemed like he was second guessing himself and the situation. Her suspicions were confirmed when he said, “We shouldn’t do this, this is wrong.”

“If its so wrong, then leave, now,” Ellana scolded in response. Solas did not move and when he did not, Ellana pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him. She straddled him and lined him up with her core, “Why should we not, Vhenan?” As she said Vhenan, she sunk herself onto him. Solas moaned closing his eyes and holding her hips.

Ellana rode out her frustrations. Ellana was tired of his games. Ellana was tired of his attitude. She just wanted him to be happy with her. But he was always half present and half somewhere else. Ellana believed that if he wanted to leave, he should have left. She believed that if he did not want to be with her, he should never have come to her room that evening. Creators, he should have never kissed her in her dreams. Never should have comforted her. Never should have complimented her. Never should have seen the memories of her parents. Never should have watched her be chosen as First. Never should have braided her hair. Never should have had sex with her in or out of the Fade. Never should have supported her. Never should have told her spirit was marvelous or rare. Never should have loved her.

Ellana was so lost in her thoughts that she did not notice that Solas had finished inside her. When she noticed his change in breathing, she climbed off his softening manhood and laid next to him. “You deserve better,” she heard him whisper, almost inaudible. “I wish you believed it.”

Solas had his arm covering his eyes and breathed slowly. Ellana laid her head on his chest, and felt hot tears run silently across her nose and cheek. She closed her eyes, wishing for sleep to take her. They did not say any more words to each other until the next morning.

***

Ellana woke to the sound of yelling from Seraelia. “Inquisitor, Inquisitor!” Seraelia yelled as she sprinted up the staircase. “Oh Maker!” Seraelia covered her eyes in embarrassment, “Forgive me, I did not realize you’d still have company.” Ellana turned in the other direction and saw Solas laying next her in the nude and very embarrassed. Ellana chuckled, remembering how this was the same way Seraelia found them the first time they were together.

“Yes?” Ellana asked amused at both of them.

“It’s Corypheus, he is marching on the Tomb of Sacred Ashes!”

Chapter Text

Story Fifteen

The atmosphere felt thick and humid, sweat clung to Ellana’s forehead and back. She stood still as she saw Solas kneel where the orb fell from the air. Ellana watched perplexed, one moment the orb was in her hands and the next it was gone, pulled into the air. With his hand stretched Solas examined the pieces, blackened and shattered. Ellana slowly walked up to him from behind, as if afraid she might scare him away.

“Solas?” she all but whispered. The adrenaline from the fight with Corypheus pumped through her veins. Her vision was fuzzy, and everything had felt like a dream.

“The orb,” Solas turned the pieces in his hand. From behind Solas looked tense, his shoulders hunched over. He was shaking.

“I know you wanted the orb saved. I’m so sorry,” Ellana apologized with genuine regret for another piece of their shared history that was now lost. But that was not the only thing. Even though they were technically not involved anymore, that feeling of not wanting to disappoint him still crept into her mind.

“It is not your fault,” Solas muttered, but Ellana still heard. Solas placed the pieces back on the ground and stood.

“There’s more, isn’t there?” Ellana asked, watching him rise from the earth. A part of her was annoyed there was another thing that he was keeping from her.

“It was not supposed to happen this way,” Solas said remorseful with his back still turned to her. “You were right to be angry. I hope, in time, you will understand. No matter what comes, I want you to know that what we had was real.”

Ellana’s gaze softened; she remembered the night they shared together. A commemoration to the relationship that no longer could be. Ellana reached her arm out with the intention of rubbing his back but stopped when she heard her title call from somewhere behind her. Turning she saw Cassandra running up the staircase. “Inquisitor? Are you alive?” Cassandra yelled.

Ellana turned and jogged down the staircase. She met Cassandra and Varric halfway. “Don’t tell me we won,” Varric said in disbelief.

“We are victorious,” Cassandra squealed.

“And it seems the Breach is finally closed,” Morrigan said with her hands on her hips.

“Looks that way…” Ellana said smiling in victory. Solas was all but forgotten.

“What do we do now?” Cassandra asked.

Remembering what she was doing before she was interrupted, Ellana looked up the staircase expecting to see Solas standing behind her, but he was not there. She looked in confusion and walked all the way to the top of the staircase. Ellana looked around in disbelief, he was gone. She turned away in both disappointment and betrayal, walking back down to meet her friends saying, “Let’s go back to Skyhold.”

Ellana rode back to Skyhold in silence, her horse following the group with instinct. She was not in the mood for talking and the others respected it. Ellana was concerned about Solas and his wellbeing, where he went, and why he left. She thought about the night they shared before they embarked on this final journey. A part of her blamed herself, reasoning that their coupling may have played a part in his abandonment. Another part angered her; did he use her to get to the orb?

His final words: No matter what comes, I want you to know that what we had was real; played over and over in her mind. He sounded genuine. Maybe something happened within the Fade, something she could not see. Ellana pondered these things the entire ride back to Skyhold.

***

When the party arrived at Skyhold, the keep was in celebration. All in attendance lined up on the lawn to welcome home the Inquisitor and her team. Ellana climbed the steps to the main hall shaking the hands of each of her advisors and waving to those who watched. There were screams of joy and people were yelling their congratulations to their success.

As Ellana and her advisors walked inside the main hall, Leliana pulled Ellana to the side. “A moment, my lady.” Ellana nodded, allowing Leliana to continue. “My agents have found no trace of Solas. He has simply vanished. If he does not wish to be found, there’s likely nothing we can do. But I will keep looking,” Leliana whispered to Ellana as people began walking into the main hall.

Ellana looked towards the main gates with sadness in both her eyes and in her heart, “I just don’t understand. He didn’t even say goodbye.”

Leliana tried to raise Ellana’s mood by saying, “The two of you were close. Perhaps he had no choice? He might return at any moment.”

“Maybe,” Ellana said, no longer in the mood to talk about Solas anymore.

Ellana and Leliana walked into the main hall, where there was a celebration prepared. Ellana looked around smiling at what her team accomplished. Leliana said, “Now that Corypheus has been defeated, we have a moment to stop and celebrate. Afterwards, you will be busy. Every noble in southern Thedas is clamoring to meet you.”

“The fighting’s over. Why do they want to meet me now?”

“You’re joking, yes? They wish to bask in the glory of your victory, hoping that some of it will rub off on them,” Leliana chuckled in response. “Everyone knows Gaspard owes you his throne. The greatest empire in Thedas is at your beck and call. A thousand problems remain, and your opinion will be sought on each one–whether you wish to give it or not.”

“Oh, now they’re lining up to meet me,” Ellana laughed in response.

“Such is the way of things,” Leliana continued, “Previously you were an upstart, a Dalish elf leading a band of rebels and heretics. Until Corypheus revealed himself, they could not see the single hand behind the chaos. Once he did, they knew: a magister and a darkspawn in one creature. The ultimate evil. Now you are the only power left standing. Enjoy the evening while you can, Inquisitor.” Ellana smiled somberly, watching as Leliana walked into the party and over to Josephine, she followed.

Ellana was exhausted and sad but wanted to have a good night anyway. The previous year took and gave to Ellana in ways that she could not quantify. She made friends and killed enemies. She lost her family but gained a new one. The role of the Inquisitor will continue, but tonight she was Ellana, and she would spend it with her new family.

When Leliana and Ellana reached Josephine, Josephine complained, “Oh, I should never have hired new caterers so late!”

“Leave it be, Josie! Everything’s fine!” Leliana reassured Josephine.

“It is not!” Josephine said to Leliana. Turning to Ellana, she added, “I’m so sorry, nothing’s quite as it should be. Do you like the drinks? I’m not sure about them.”

“I haven’t even had a moment to taste them,” Ellana chuckled. “I am sure the drinks are fine. So far, it’s been a wonderful evening.”

Josephine did not look convinced, “I hope you’re not just saying that. You’re not, are you? What a disaster. The sommelier was late, the invitations to our guests barely went out at all, and… and…” Josephine paused her spiral to take a deep breath. “It was so wonderful to prepare for a small banquet instead of the end of the world. Do you know what everyone is talking about tonight, from commoners to kings? Us. Thedas is discussing the success of the Inquisition.”

“We deserve each and every compliment,” Ellana said smug.

“Yes, I rather think we do.” Leliana agreed.

“Truly we will never forget those we lost, but for tonight… To victory,” Josephine toasted.

“Of course,” Ellana responded. “Have a good evening, you two.” Ellana walked away from the pair and over to Cullen who was standing alone, staring into the crowd.

Ellana walked up next to him and stood off to the side to not obstruct his view of the party. “Am I imagining it, or do we have a moment to breathe?” Cullen asked in disbelief.

“We have a moment,” Ellana laughed. “I can scarcely believe it.”

“I think you’re right. You brought us here. You are proof that the Inquisition made a difference. That we will continue to do so,” Cullen laughed as well. Then seriously, he added, “The Conclave, Haven–it seems so long ago. You should hear the stories they’re telling in the barracks, the pride in their voices. Some of the soldiers have requested leave to return home, but many would follow us still. You are proof that the Inquisition has made a difference. And that we will continue to do so.”

“Our soldiers put their trust in you, Cullen.” Ellana paused, lowering her voice, “I appreciate everything you’ve done.”

“I should be thanking you. You gave me a chance to… to prove myself. In your place, I’m not sure I would have done the same.” Ellana turned and smiled at Cullen. Cullen turned towards her and returned the smile. There was a moment that passed between the two of them. It came and went as quickly as a breeze. Cullen cleared his throat and Ellana lowered her gaze. “I should let you… mingle. I’m sure everyone desires your attention. Enjoy the party, Inquisitor.”

“As to you, Commander.” Ellana walked away from Cullen. She felt slightly embarrassed about whatever that feeling was that passed between the two of them. Ellana made a note to file it away for later.

Ellana saw Varric sitting at the end side of a table with a drink in his hand. She moved to sit next to him and grabbed an empty cup from the middle of the table. She gave it a sniff and determined that it had not been used. She waved someone down who brought her liquid, which was poured into the cup. She took a sip, realized it was spiked punch, and then turned to Varric. “Varric, I wanted to thank you for all you’ve done for the Inquisition,” Ellana greeted. “What are you planning to do now?”

“Why thank you lady Inquisitor,” Varric smiled. “I’ve been thinking about putting all this into a book.” Ellana raised her eyebrows at him. “Right now, I’m thinking: This Shit Is Weird: The Inquisitor Lavellan Story. It’s a working title.”

“Maybe you should keep working on the title.”

“I’ll leave the title for last. Naming things is always the worst,” Varric took a sip from his cup. “I still haven’t decided if I should do this book. Not to mention, I’ll have my hands full with reconstruction and relief efforts in the Free Marches as soon as I get back.”

“You shouldn’t divide your efforts. The people of the Free Marches are more important than publishing a book.”

“As it happens, I agree with you. Kirkwall is in bad shape, and a lot of other city-states were hit hard by the war. I’m not leaving for a while yet, though. We’ll have to get in at least one Game of Wicked Grace before I go. Curly needs to win back some of his dignity and Sera owes me some money too.”

“Did Cullen ever give you that armor he owed?”

“Now that I think about it…no, he did not,” Varric thought out loud. “How are you feeling tonight?”

“Happy, a bit disappointed because…well, no Solas,” Varric nodded at her words in understanding. “But, otherwise, I am happy to be alive and with you all!”

“Good to hear!” Varric said as Cassandra joined them at the table with her own drink in hand.

“I can’t believe it’s over. It seemed an impossible task: defy the Chantry, build the Inquisition from nothing, defeat a creature that would be a god… And yet here we are, celebrating,” Cassandra announced patting Ellana on the back with her free hand.

“Had your doubts about me, did you?” Ellana asked Cassandra while eying Varric. Varric laughed in response to her question.

“About you? Never,” Cassandra laughed as well. “We did well, team.”

“We did,” Varric responded. “What do you plan to do now, Seeker?”

“I intend to rebuild the Seekers of Truth—to make us the Order we were meant to be.” When Cassandra saw the look of sadness in Ellana’s eyes, she added, “Meanwhile, I am free to serve with the Inquisition.” Ellana smiled. She would be sad when her friend left, but that day was not today. Cassandra continued, “I think back to how we first met… and here you stand. You are not a believer, I know, yet you have come to mean so much to us all. And you are my friend, and you are a great woman, and I will always stand at your side.”

Ellana felt the tears forming in her eyes. Cassandra’s words would remain in her heart for years to come. In the brief quiet between topics, Dorian strolled up to the empty chair that sat opposite Ellana. “I cannot believe that you are all crying in a corner without me,” Dorian added as he sat down.

“Welcome, Sparkler,” Varric said raising his cup to the man.

“Since you left me behind to idle away my hours, I happened to be passing through the hall this morning, and a serving girl saw me and squealed. Actually squealed. Dropped her laundry and everything. Such a mess. She was completely breathless. “You were at the battle with the Evil One, weren’t you?” I didn’t even get a chance to tell her if I was at the battle, how was it that she was talking to me now?” Dorian began immediately.

“And what did she do Dorian?” Cassandra asked with a side glance.

“She hugged me. Hugged me!” Dorian threw his arms up in disbelief. “This is your influence,” he said pointing across the table at Ellana.

“That’s what happens when you’re a hero,” Ellana mused, leaning back into her chair.

“Is that so? Must be why it’s so unfamiliar,” Dorian swirled his drink in his cup and then drunk the entirety of the contents. Ellana widened her eyes impressed. Dorian continued, “Mind you, I can’t say I hate the notion of being “the good Tevinter.” “I suppose you can’t all be evil bastards.” The blacksmith said that, and he spat when we first met. I hope my father hears. He will shit his smallclothes from shock, I swear.”

“Will you be returning to Tevinter now?” Cassandra asked curiously.

“Soon. For the moment, there’s too many interesting things here just to up and go,” Dorian answered.

“Would that have anything to do with Bull?” Ellana asked being coy.

“It might. You know how it is. Plus, what would you do without me?”

“What would you do without me?” Ellana felt the tears forming again.

“If by “me” you mean best and only friend. My homeland calls, but… I’m not ready to leave just yet.” Dorian smiled at Ellana. The four of them smiled and laughed among each other.

“We should end the night with a game of Wicked Grace,” Varric offered.

“You know I don’t gamble, Varric,” Cassandra reminded him.

Bull came over to sit but noticed that there were no more seats. Ellana saw him and said, “Here, take this seat, I want to walk around.” Bull took her offer and Ellana stood. She spotted Blackwall leaning alone against the fireplace. Ellana had been distant with him since his pardon, but she wanted to talk with him now and see if the friendship could be rekindled.

Blackwall noticed her approach and smiled saying, “All this pomp and ceremony? I bet it can’t top seeing that bastard Corypheus burn. No matter what happens to me now, I can say I was there, and I helped you bring him down.”

“It took all of us, but we did it.”

“I shudder to think where we’d be without you leading us,” he took a sip from his cup. “So now that you’ve saved the world, what’s next? Hoping to put it all back together?”

“It’ll be a huge undertaking.”

“If anyone can do it, you can. If you ever need my help, you know where to find me. I’ll be ready.”

“Thank you,” Ellana smiled. “I did hope that you’d be willing to stay and continue to serve the Inquisition.”

“Of course,” he said. “You gave me a second chance in a situation, where if the roles were reversed, I don’t think I would have done the same.”

“Finally joining the party, yeah? We deserve bit of fun for saving the world?” Sera said walking up and elbowing Blackwall. “It’s the least Andraste’s Herald deserves for making things normal again. Except for, you know, everything ever again. I mean, is this for us, or for Her? Or, you know, “Him”? Because I was there, and I still don’t know what’s real.”

“Let the philosophers worry about that; tonight is for celebrating,” Ellana smiled at her.

“Some things to do yet, right? Because I’m in no hurry to go back to… Val Royeaux, that’s where I was. You mind if people stay around? For whatever?” Sera asked leaning against Blackwall.

“This is home, for you both, if you’ll have it,” Ellana looked between the both of them, wanting to know that they were welcome. “Have a good night.”

Ellana found Cole sitting on one of the tables, he was looking at the bard, Maryden. “So many people died. More still are hurting. They need help. It seems wrong to celebrate. But… I want to. The part of me that’s me needs to, after all this.” Cole paused and then continued, “The servants are drinking. Some of them are drinking while lying down,” Cole said.

“Do you have any interest in joining them?” Ellana asked Cole alternating her gaze between him and Maryden.

“I don’t know. Not now. It makes things more complicated, and I’m not ready. Someday, maybe,” Cole fidgeted with the end of this shirt. “What happens next? Where do we go?”

“For tonight, we remind the world, and each other, that we’re alive.”

“Yes. Because of you. Thank you for letting me stay,” Cole smiled at her. “I’m sorry about Solas.”

“Let’s not talk about that right now Cole, maybe tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow is good,” Cole responded. Ellana, recognizing that their conversation was reaching its end, nodded and walked towards Vivienne, who was talking with Josephine.

“My dear,” Vivienne said smiling as Ellana approached. “I was just discussing with Josephine how I’ll be returning to Val Royeaux to organize the loyalist mages. Our new emperor requires my expertise during what is certain to be a difficult transition. But that will wait. Are you enjoying the celebration? Josephine, here, was in a frenzy arranging it.”

“Vivienne,” Josephine mused.

“As a matter of fact, I am.”

“This is all for you, darling. Enjoy yourself. You’ve earned it. Go mingle. The night is still young.”

Ellana took that as her cue to go and walked back over to the table and stood next to Bull. “So… demons, dragons, giant asshole Vint on a big magic rock? You don’t let it get dull, boss. Good ‘stuff,” Bull said to her as she stood next to him.

“You helped make it possible, Bull,” Ellana said watching the others have a conversation between them.

“That’s what they pay me for. It’s weird. I joined the Inquisition under orders from the Ben-Hassrath and stayed because Corypheus was an asshole. Now that it’s done, I’ve got no orders. For the first time in my life, I can go wherever I want.”

“Well, if the Chargers stay, I’ll find you the best fights,” Ellana joked, humor laced in her words.  

“I know. Anyway, the only place I’m going to tonight is back for more drinks. To us being alive and the bad guys not!” Bull took a long sip from his cup. “Anaan!” The entire table cheered in response.

“Hey, guys!” Ellana called over the table. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to head up to my room for a bit. If you are all still awake when I return, I will join you.”

Everyone said their goodbyes and Ellana retreated to her quarters, nodding her goodbyes to the many others in attendance. Ellana climbed her stairs in silence, wishing she was spending this night with a special someone. However, that was not what destiny had for Ellana this evening.

She lit up her fireplace and walked towards her balcony, looking over the Frostback mountains. The chill night air hit her face as she walked towards the balcony’s edge. Ellana reflected over her time as Inquisitor, from first walking out of the Fade, to finally defeating Corypheus.

She had learned many things since the Conclave. One of the most important things she had learned was that life takes from, and life gives to, indiscriminately. Ellana learned that family can be more than just the people who birthed and raised you, it could also be the friends you meet unexpectedly. She found love and lost it, in more ways than one. She had learned how strong and resilient she could be, even when faced with the unexpected. Ellana closed her eyes and took a deep breath inhaling the mountain air, feeling proud of herself and what she had accomplished.

End of Part One

Chapter Text

Story One

A month and a half had passed since the defeat of Corypheus. The sky continued to show no signs of any lingering Fade rifts, except for the faint streak of green that decorated the skyline around Haven. Frequently, Ellana turned to the Grey Warden slogan, which she identified with as Inquisitor: In war, victory; in peace, vigilance, and in death, sacrifice. It was time for peace, and as Inquisitor, Ellana was ever vigilant.

The dreams that plagued Ellana after finding the Vir'abelasan had not come to her since she defeated Corypheus. Neither Despair nor that six-eyed entity had visited her in or out the dreaming of the Fade. She reasoned that maybe there was a Somniari working with Corypheus and now with no leader, they have left her alone. She had also had no other episodes of panic, which she had been able to prevent through meditation, physical training, and prayer. Ellana was still a crier though, and she would always probably be one.

Ellana had been busy since the week after Corypheus’ death with her continuous duties. One of which was to help Josephine organize an award ceremony and gala to honor those who were both vital in the war and those who paid the ultimate price. At the ceremony, Ellana would also have the honor to officially welcome Charter as Leliana’s replacement as Spymaster. Leliana, now known as Divine Justinia, had sent a letter officially recognizing Charter as the Inquisition Spymaster and Ellana planned to surprise her with it at the ceremony.

Other than Leliana, there were some other departures from the Inquisition within the previous month. Vivienne had returned to Orlesian court to serve as an advisor to the emperor. Dorian had also left the Inquisition for two weeks to visit his mother, according to him, it was not a good visit. Varric had left about a month after the war to return to Kirkwall, saying that he may visit periodically to have a new backdrop to write his book. Ellana had tried to encourage Cullen to take a break and visit his family, which he promised he would, but not soon.

At that moment, Ellana sat across from Josephine and Morrigan as they discussed the final touches on that evening’s gala. The anchor in Ellana’s hand vibrated against her, warm and active. The anchor had been notably more active in the last two days than it had been since she closed the final breach. Yet, neither the warmth nor the vibration was painful, just a reminder that she still carried this living scar of her journey.

Ellana looked down at her hand and flexed the muscles in it, which stopped the vibrating but not the heat. “Is the anchor bothering you Inquisitor?” Morrigan asked. Since Morrigan had drunk from the Vir'abelasan she had become more invested in both the anchor and the ambient magic that surrounded Ellana and Skyhold. She spent much of her time in the space between Eluvians, listening and learning from Mythal’s memories. That curiosity resulted in many prying questions being directed towards Ellana.

“Both I and the anchor are fine,” Ellana answered annoyed. It had been the second time today and the sixth time this week Morrigan had asked her about the anchor. Morrigan gazed at Ellana as if she did not believe her but turned her attention elsewhere.

“Yes, back to the task at hand,” Josephine redirected the conversation. “I guess we have everything planned for tonight. Did the seamstress finish altering your dress, Inquisitor?”

“Yes, she did,” Ellana said embarrassed. She had noticed that she gained some weight in a month and a half of non-active combat. Ellana assumed it was because she was a lot hungrier than usual, probably due to the sudden drop in stress. Ellana had noticed the changes because her corset was snugger than it was the last time she wore it and no longer fit properly. She could still fit it fine, but the fabric did not lay as Josephine would have preferred, so they had to adjust.

“Then, I think we are finished here,” Josephine said.

“Yes, see you later ladies,” Ellana dismissed the two women. Ellana stood and walked into the Skyhold main hall, where preparations were underway. There were many honored people tonight. Charter was one, but another was the Sutherland Company, a mercenary group that had become very useful to the Inquisition. They were being honored with Charter, as well as her partner, Tessa, who as a group was able to clear a route for the Inquisitor's reinforcements to get quickly from the Arbor Wilds to Haven. Others being honored tonight included Commander Rutherford and Ambassador Montilyet, the members of the Inner Circle, the members of the Inner Circle, Dagna, Lace Harding, the Bull’s Chargers, and Blades of Hessarian. The numbered honored included many more, and all who were being honored were present at Skyhold, except Vivienne, Varric, Leliana, and unfortunately, Solas.

Ellana took a deep, long breath at the thought of Solas not being around anymore. If she was being honest, she missed him. Sometimes she would walk through the Rotunda, hoping he had returned. She would stop at his half-finished fresco, reflecting on the half-truths she was unknowingly fed.

About two weeks ago, Ellana received a letter from Leliana, with an update about Solas’ whereabouts. It read that despite her efforts; she has been unable to locate Solas. She informed Ellana that he was last seen headed west, still distraught over the destruction of the orb and from there he disappeared.

Leliana explained that when Solas initially approached the Inquisition and offered aid, she questioned him about his background and history. To which he was evasive, but Solas did offer the name of the village where he grew up. Much to Leliana’s credit, her scouts did locate the ruined village, as they had been laying there untouched for centuries. Whoever Solas truly was and wherever he came from, he deceived the Inquisition and Ellana from the very beginning. Leliana had promised to continue searching. Ellana reasoned that it was due to Leliana’s own pride in being deceived and Ellana let her continue, with the duties of his search being transferred to Charter.

Sometimes, when Ellana thought about it hard enough she felt ashamed that she allowed Solas to continue to use her even when she knew he was being dishonest. Realistically Ellana used him too for some weird fantasy that she wanted to pursue. But, she never lied to him, about anything and he lied to her about everything. Ellana wondered if his name was really Solas, if he also lied about that.

Lost in thought Ellana found herself sitting alone on a bench in the Skyhold garden. Many people were milled about talking amongst each other, happy to see old and new friends. Ellana smiled at the passersby’s who greeted her formally. “Inquisitor,” Ellana looked to her right and saw Mother Giselle joining her on the bench. Mother Giselle had been with the Inquisition since she was first recruited in the Hinterlands, and she would be among those honored this evening.

Mother Giselle had been trying to open Ellana’s mind to the beliefs of the Chantry for most of the war and little by little Ellana’s mind opened. Much of her exposure had been from listening to Cullen and Cassandra talk and pray, but towards the end Mother Giselle had convinced Ellana to attend one Chant, at least to show the alliance between the Inquisition and the Chantry.

Ellana knew that Mother Giselle would always be open to her questions, even if they were rare. Today, Ellana did have a question, “Can I ask you a question about the Chantry, Mother Giselle?”

“As you know, I believe that the truth and knowledge of the Maker and Andraste should be open to all who wish to learn of Him. But, as I shared that with you before, I presume you mean deeper questions about the organization itself,” Mother Giselle responded.

“Yes. As Inquisitor, I hold a rank within the Chantry, but I could never be a priestess even if I was a believer because I am an Elf. Why is that?” Ellana wondered.

“The official doctrine is that Elvhes and Dwarves have turned further from the Maker than humanity. And as for men, the Chant holds that they are more vulnerable to anger or passion.”  Mother Giselle paused for a moment and then responded in almost a whisper, “But in truth, it is simply political, added after Andraste’s death, like too many of our beliefs.”

“Will, my Elvhen lineage be erased in history in favor of the current doctrine as was Inquisitor Ameridan’s?”

“I cannot say, Inquisitor,” Mother Giselle confessed. “But with the new Divine, things may change and for the better. Only time will tell.” Ellana sat in silence contemplating the words of Mother Giselle.

After some thought, Ellana asked, “If you don’t believe these restrictions are what Andraste wanted, why haven’t you tried to change them?”

“Has your position not taught you the folly of fighting too many battles at once?”  Mother Giselle scolded Ellana. “I chose to use my power to help peasants forgotten by the nobles of Orlais. I believe now can be the time to address the inequality under the Chantry now that we’ve saved them from starving.” Ellana considered her words.

“I see,” Ellana responded. “Thank you, Mother Giselle.” Mother Giselle nodded to Ellana and the two sat in silence for a few more minutes until someone pulled Mother Giselle away to pray for them. Ellana sat in the garden sitting in a quiet contemplation for at least another hour.

After Ellana had returned from the Frostback Basin after working with Professor Bram Kenric, of the University of Orlais, to correct the history of Inquisitor Ameridan, it had become increasingly important to Ellana to display her people’s contributions to the history of the Chantry. She and Cassandra, who became more interested after learning that Inquisitor Ameridan was also a Seeker of Truth, had spent many afternoons researching the written history of both the Seekers and the Inquisitors to find discrepancies that could be replaced with truth and sending that information to Professor Kenric.

In the current time, Ellana enjoys spending her time talking to different Chantry members about their involvement and laying notes of doubt in some of their Doctrine beliefs. She and Mother Giselle had grown to have a healthy respect for one another and each other’s differing beliefs. It seemed to Ellana that Mother Giselle would be an ally if the day ever comes when all peoples would be allowed to hold office within the Chantry. As for Ellana’s beliefs in the Maker, she was always open to new ideas but not ideas that question her personhood.

***

“Charter are you okay to begin with your official appointment and then we will transition straight into the awards of service,” Josephine confirmed with Charter and Morrigan who sat on Ellana’s couch within her quarters. Ellana along with her four advisors met one final time to confirm how the night began and the order of ceremony. The gala had been going on for about an hour now, and it was also time for the award ceremony to begin.

Morrigan wore a floor-length burgundy dress with sleeves and a high neckline. Her hair was pinned up in a braided style. Josephine wore a beautiful floor-length yellow dress, with a halter neck. She wore her hair down and in loose curls. Charter was dressed in a dark green dress with sleeves and an open back. She wore her hair pinned up in an elaborate bun. Charter nodded in agreement, “Yes, that is fine.”

Ellana sat at her desk with Cullen standing next to her. Cullen was wearing a navy-blue formal Commander suit, with his rank pins pinned to the lapel. “Do you have Leliana’s letter?” Cullen whispered to Ellana so that Charter could not hear. Charter was aware of her appointment, but the letter would be a surprise.

“Yes,” Ellana replied pointing to the note wax stamped with the official seal of Divine Victoria. Ellana wore a white satin crepe floor-length gown with a halter neckline and a detachable cape that covered her shoulders and created a short train behind her. Where the cape was to be attached to her shoulders and had golden hardware where it clicked in place. Ellana’s hair had grown out to the end of her ears, and she slicked it back with gel. Currently the cape laid flat across her bed, so not to become winkled.

In Ellana’s opinion, everyone looked absolutely beautiful this evening. She sat back listening to Josephine run down the itinerary. Ellana glanced at Cullen, who was looking uncomfortable in his suit. Ellana smiled at him, catching his attention. She huffed in amusement and asked, “you’re still not allowing the seamstress to let out your suit jackets, Commander?”

“I never realized how much the Lyrium affected my appetite,” Cullen said defeated.

“I think its age Cullen,” Ellana mused. “You’re not in your 20s anymore.” Cullen side-eyed Ellana who was poking fun at him and his recent thirtieth birthday.

Cullen rolled his eyes. “Yes, we can’t be 26 forever, you should remember that” Cullen responded throwing a shot back at the Inquisitor.

Ellana chuckled at his response. She and Cullen were getting closer than just colleges and spiritual partners as of recently. Ever since the moment they shared at the celebration party, she felt a fondness for the Commander that she had never noticed before. Ever since Solas ended things with her and left, Ellana had become more aware of the looks and tones from other men around her. Nevertheless, Ellana was still content with her friendship with Cullen and did not plan to make any movements towards anything else.

“Okay, we should go out there and begin,” Josephine announced, pulling Ellana from her thoughts. “Come, my lady, let me help you put on your cape.”

The four of them left the quarters and entered the main hall. The three advisors took their seats at the head table placed in front of the throne. A podium was placed in front of the table. People sat all around at circle tables that were placed around the room. Some people also sat at tables on the balcony that looked down into the main hall. Those who could not find a seat stood around the room.

Ellana approached the pedestal and applause erupted around the space. “Good evening everyone,” Ellana began. “I want to thank you all for joining us this evening to recognize all those who contributed to the victory that we earned at Haven. A victory that we earned not once but twice.” The audience clapped and cheered. Ellana continued, “I want to begin the awards with the official appointment of our very own, Charter, to the rank of Spymaster. Charter, will you join me.” Ellana turned to Charter, who stood in response and walked over to the podium. As she stood next to Ellana more cheers rung through the room. Ellana opened the letter from Leliana, which earned a look of surprise from Charter. “To commemorate this promotion, Divine Victoria wanted me to share some words to her successor.” Ellana began to read.

“The best spies are never seen, only inferred. The highest levels of the Game spin around manipulation of a thousand hearts, but the men and women engaged in the groundwork of spy craft must hide their true allegiance, not their physical presences. When I think of this, I think of my successor, who I am most pleased to hear will be she. Signed with the seal of Divine Victoria,” Ellana finished. Charter looked at Ellana with appreciation for the words from her predecessor. “With that,” she continued, “I want to award our Spymaster with this.” Ellana opened a container that held a commemorative ribbon. “This award is given for her work in Crestwood as well as her service to the Inquisition in the final hours of war.” Ellana presented the honor to Charter, who had started tearing up. Ellana then welcomed the other three advisors onstage and she presented the three of them with physical awards of service, glass replicas of the Inquisition insignia.

The ceremony continued with each Inquisition agent receiving a commemorative ribbon and each officer receiving an award. Honorable mentions were bestowed upon those not in attendance, with their awards being sent my courier. Skyhold staff were also recognized for their service maintaining the keep and caring for Inquisition members both in and out of Skyhold. Ellana made special recognition to her handmaiden, Seraelia, who Ellana had grown especially close to. After the ceremony, Ellana proceeded to have her meal with her advisors at the head table. During the reception many people approached the table to provide their thanks and congratulations. Ellana returned the congratulations and thanks to them as well.

“Look at everything you’ve done, Inquisitor,” Josephine said to Ellana during a low moment in the evening.

“And tomorrow we will continue to do it all again,” Ellana responded looking over the room.

“Things seem a lot busier here than out in the field,” Charter said from the other side of Ellana, which earned a loud laugh from Cullen.

“Oh, you will never find a moment of peace, Spymaster,” Cullen laughed knowingly.

Much later into the evening, Ellana found herself in her room relaxing across her floor in front of the fireplace. She was in her lounging wear accompanied by Cassandra, Charter, and Josephine sharing a bottle of wine. The ladies had already finished two bottles and were starting on their third. “That seems more fiction than fact, Seeker,” Charter laughed in disbelief.

“No, it actually happened, and you’ll witness things like that yourself now that you get to be privy to it,” Cassandra responded seriously. Ellana and Josephine laughed at Charter’s suspicion. Cassandra was sharing with Charter a story from their time out in the field. Charter was under the impression that Crestwood was as weird as it could get, she was wrong.

Ellana rose to get a stack of letters from her desk; she wanted to read to the ladies some of the marriage proposals she had received since defeating Corypheus. Suddenly, the anchor began to vibrate and burn. Ellana grabbed the anchored hand with her other hand and squeezed tight, gasping from the pain. “Are you well Ellana?” Cassandra asked from behind her.

“Yes, it’s just the —” Ellana was interrupted by a sudden and very sharp pain in her abdomen. She doubled over to the ground clutching her abdomen with both of her hands. The women behind her shot to their feet and rushed over. Ellana looked down and saw blood pooling between her legs.

“Get a healer!” Josephine yelled to Charter to nodded and dashed from the room.

“What’s going on?” Ellana asked as another wave of pain shot through her. If this was her menstrual cycle, this was more blood and more pain than she had ever experienced. Her breathing was getting heavy, and the pain was making her lightheaded. The anchor thrummed and glowed, while the burning continued.

“Cassandra, get her a towel from her washroom and wet it,” Josephine called. “Bring multiple please.” Josephine laid Ellana out on her back with her head in her lap. “Where does it hurt Ellana?”

“My lower stomach,” Ellana answered as Charter and a mage healer arrived.

“Inquisitor,” the mage called to her.

“Something is wrong with the anchor, it’s making her hurt in her abdomen, and she has bleeding between her legs,” Josephine informed the healer.

The healer crouched next to Ellana and took the anchor in her hands. She closed her eyes for a moment sending a rush of magic through it calming it and the glow dimmed. “Hopefully, that stays put,” the healer said. “Now about the bleeding…”

Cassandra returned with both wet and dry towels. “Is there anything you need?”

“Can you both get some Prophet's Laurel or Crystal Grace,” the healer asked Cassandra and Charter, who nodded at the direction and left.

The healer closed her eyes for a while and looked concerned. “What’s wrong?” Ellana asked with worry, which Josephine pet the top of her head in response.

“Were you aware that you were pregnant, Inquisitor?” the healer asked. At the question, both Ellana and Josephine went pale and stared in poorly concealed horror.

“Excuse me?” Ellana asked, her voice trembling with disbelief. The question striking her like something sharp and disorienting. A hollow feeling opened in her chest, and the world around her began to blur. Their voices faded, sounding distant and warped. Her heart pounded erratically, her body feeling weightless and heavy. Panic gripped her as the pain suddenly surged, overwhelming her. She gasped, overcome with a rush of nausea and she doubled over to the side of Josephine and vomited. She tried to call out, but everything slipped away. Her back gave out and the darkness pulled her under, swallowed in a blur of blood, confusion, and fear.

Ellana awoke to the sound of Cole standing over her mumbling to himself. “I need to tell you something,” Cole mumbled to himself almost inaudible, his face entranced. “I’m sorry Cole, but with your gift, I fear that you might see the path I now must walk in solitude forever. This fate is mine alone. Indeed, I would not wish it on an enemy, much less someone that I once cared for. Though you reach out in compassion, I must now insist that you forget.” 

“Cole?” Ellana asked, not sure who he was talking to. The look in Cole’s eyes seemed to suggest that he was talking to someone somewhere else.

Cole ignored Ellana saying to himself, “I’m…” Then for a moment it seemed like Cole was aware of where he was. He looked at Ellana as if he was just seeing her and said, “What were we talking about?”

“Cole, were you talking to me? I was sleeping.” Ellana asked sitting up in her bed.

“I don’t remember,” Cole said shaking his head.

“Ellana! You’re awake!” Dorian said from her bedside, the conversation between Ellana and Cole waking him up. “Cole has been watching you all night. He refused to leave even when asked.”

Cole looked a bit embarrassed but smiled, nonetheless. “Thank you,” Ellana mouthed to the young man.

Dorian continued, “the healer left not too long ago, said to let her know when you woke. Cole, go and get her.” Cole nodded to the instruction and left the room. Dorian walked over to her bedside and sat down on the bed near Ellana’s legs.

“Where is—”

“Ellana please, lie back down, and don’t worry where everyone is. Please focus on yourself,” Dorian pleaded. “The healer told me.” Ellana looked down remembering what the healer said before she passed out. “Did you know?”

Ellana tried to pull her legs up into her arms but the pain in her abdomen did not allow her. She flattened her legs back out and lay down as Dorian suggested. She turned to her side to look at the man, saying, “No, I had no idea.”

“You and Solas weren’t even together towards the end,” Dorian reasoned. “Who—”

“Please Dorian,” Ellana pleased closing her eyes. A part of her was ashamed that she even went to Solas for comfort and he provided it. She squeezed her eyes shut but answered, “The night before we left for Haven, Solas and I were together.” Ellana opened her eyes to the shocked and angry face of her friend.

“Please tell me there was someone else,” Dorian said, which earned an angry yet disgusted look from Ellana.

“Solas was the only man I’ve been intimate with for the last year,” Ellana confessed through gritted teeth.

“I’m so sorry Ellana,” Dorian offered with compassion and concern. “I know how much you had wanted children and for him to not even be here…”

“It’s fine, the relationship was over and now…now there is no consequences of it,” Ellana shook her head at her words not believing the sentiment behind it.

She was not fooling Dorian, who said, “except the emotional consequences and the loss of life.” And that was all it took for Ellana to lose her composure. She began sobbing on her pillow as Dorian moved to hug her. Dorian allowed Ellana to cry and cry until the healer arrived back at her quarters.

“Inquisitor Lavellan, excuse me,” the healer said. Ellana turned to see that it was a different healer than the night before. “Healer Margarete was tired from last night and asked if I could take over her duties. My name is Morrine.” Ellana nodded as the healer came to her side, while Dorian moved out of the way. Healer Morrine was busy checking over Ellana and healing her with magic when Cassandra and Josephine entered the room.

“Cullen wants to visit Ellana,” Josephine said as they rounded the staircase. “I told him, I would ask you.”

“Does he know?” Ellana asked while the healer checked her pulse.

“No, he doesn’t,” she answered. “I thought you would want to inform people of your condition.”

“Will you be checking inside me soon?” Ellana asked the healer.

“No, Healer Margarete cleaned everything up while you were unconscious,” Healer Morrine answered.

“Splendid,” Ellana responded flatly. “Let him in Josephine.” Josephine nodded and walked down the staircase returning with a concerned Cullen in tow.

“Maker’s breath, Ellana, they said that you collapsed,” Cullen said while walking to stand at the foot of the bed.

“I’ll be okay,” Ellana said in return. She looked at the two women standing in front of the fireplace and then at Dorian who sat on the couch. Ellana was nervous about telling Cullen the truth about her miscarriage. “Um, Cassandra, can you tell him.”

“Of course,” Cassandra agreed. Cullen turned to Cassandra who then said, “She was pregnant, Cullen.”

“What? Did Solas know?” Cullen asked shocked, earning a cough from Dorian.

“Let’s refrain from using his name please, it pisses me off,” Dorian asked.

“No, I just found out myself,” Ellana said nodding. Everyone was quiet for a long time as the healer finished her check of Ellana’s physical well-being. After the healer was finished, she bowed and left, instructing everyone to call for her if Ellana’s condition changed. “How did this happen?” Ellana asked after a moment.

“Healer Margarete suspected that the magic from the anchor caused the miscarriage, given how responsive it was to the actual event,” Josephine answered. Ellana looked down at her hand, the anchor now dormant. “She gave an estimate on how far along she thought you were, would you like to know?”

“I can guess, either a month or two depending on whether it was when we went to Crestwood or before we confronted Corypheus at Haven…” Ellana said not meeting anyone’s eyes. “Can one of you call for Seraelia, I want a bath, and I don’t want to be alone,” Ellana asked.

“I can stay,” Cassandra offered.

“You both can,” Ellana nodded to her. Cassandra left to find Seraelia.

“We should leave,” Josephine said from behind Cullen. Dorian and Cullen nodded in agreement and left with Josephine. As they left, Healer Morrine excused herself instructing Ellana to call if anything was wrong. Ellana nodded and stared empty-minded at the fire that roared in front of her. No thoughts passed through her mind, and she felt nothing.

Ellana did not know how many minutes passed before Cassandra returned with Seraelia. The two women helped Ellana undress and bathe in silence. Ellana winced in pain but found relief from the warm water. Seraelia had added a potion to the bathwater to aid in healing.

Ellana wondered to herself in the silence. She internally debated whether it would be appropriate to attempt to seek Solas in the Fade to tell him about the pregnancy. Ellana considered the repercussions, trying to reach out to Solas could potentially open old wounds and further Ellana’s own emotional distress. If Solas became angry he could use the news to blame himself or accuse Ellana of wrongdoing. That is assuming that she would be able to find him in the first place.

“He doesn’t want to be found,” Cole said suddenly in the room.

“Cole! You shouldn’t be in here,” Cassandra snapped. “How did you even get in here?”

“I walked in, the door was open,” Cole answered concerned that he angered Cassandra.

Ellana looked at Cole with compassion. “Cole, I will have Seraelia come find you when I am dressed okay? But until then, do you mind leaving?” Ellana asked with a calm and caring voice. Cole left without another word.

“He moves so quietly, it’s like he’s trying to be invisible,” Cassandra shook her head in frustration.

“He still wants to help, even as a human,” Ellana reasoned. “At least he now knows why we ask him to practice boundaries.”

“How are you feeling, my lady?” Seraelia asked.

Ellana considered how she was feeling both emotionally and physically. Physically, she was sore, the pain in her abdomen, less but not gone. Emotionally, Ellana felt nothing, no emotion, numbness. “I feel…nothing. I was sad and now I am…” Cassandra and Seraelia shared a look between the two of them in quiet understanding.

“Would it help to talk about it?” Cassandra asked. “Or would you rather just sit together for a while in silence?”

“Silence,” Ellana chose.

***

She sat with the child in her arms leaning against a tree, together they lounged and watched him paint. The three of them were relaxing at a lake in the Hinterlands, walking distance from their cabin. He found this small oasis on one of his walks and needed to eternally capture its beauty. He brought his oils and his canvas, sitting on a rock, alone. She and the child, no more than a year old, sat in the shade. The baby girl slept while she stroked her cheek.

For a reason unknown to her, the baby started crying. She started to cry too, and her tears fell on the baby’s cheeks. She wiped them off, but the cheeks remained wet. He turned to them concerned, hearing their cries. “Vhenan,” he called to her.

She looked up at him and then back down at the child. Then she realized the child was unmoving, still, and not breathing. A rush of panic washed through her. She sobbed. She woke.

***

Ellana woke up before sunrise turning to see Cassandra, who had spent the night with her, still sleeping. Ellana rose from bed, cheeks wet, and walked over to her desk, the pain in her abdomen a dull ache. She looked down at one of the letters she had planned to read to her friends two nights ago. Ellana wanted to read it, to give herself a laugh. The letter read:

Dear Ambassador Montilyet,

My name is Viscount Gordon Anaxis of Nevarra, residing in Nevarra City. It had come to my attention that Inquisitor Lavellan had yet to accept any proposals for marriage. Thus, I want to offer my oldest son and heir, Octavian Anaxis, who is of age to be wed and has yet to find his own suitor. Octavian is thirty years old and served as a Steward in the Navarran court under the command of King Markus for the previous ten years.

I do need to make you aware that my son sustained an injury in his teens that resulted in disfigurement of the face, and he is missing his right ear. I know that our Herald may not have such shallow inclinations, but I fear that this may have played a part in my son’s prolonged singlehood. Despite the physical, he is a wonderful young man.

My wife, Viscountess Anaxis, and I look forward to a reply.

Viscount Gordon Anaxis of Nevarra

Ellana read the proposal. Now that she was sober, the proposal was not as funny as she thought it to be when inebriated. A part of her felt pity for the young man. She wondered how many people rejected his proposals due to his disfigurement. She made note to respond to the family personally with a rejection, but inviting the young man to join the Inquisition if he grows tired of court. Feeling melancholy, Ellana put the proposal away and pulled out her private notebook instead and wrote an ode to her own situation:

I was abandoned without a word, like something to discard. I gave everything and the memory of me was left to fade away as if I did not matter. I burn every time I think of how easily the footsteps faded, but the ache stayed.

Ellana cringed at the words but kept writing:

I knew of her only after she was gone. I gave her a post-mortem name: Haljra, after my mother. I saw her when I was sleeping. Her cries were so sad.

The tears began to fall on the page. Ellana allowed the tears to fall freely. She cried quietly and privately for her loss.

After some time, Ellana rose from her seat and quietly dressed. She looked out the balcony door and looked towards the sky. The sun was beginning to rise.

Ellana left her quarters, closing the door softly and walking through the main hall. She walked out the doors and down the stairs towards the courtyard. Walking towards the garden, she found herself sitting at the same bench that she talked to with Mother Giselle. Ellana closed her eyes and prayed to Falon’din for her child’s spirit. She prayed that the child reached the Fade. She prayed that Falon’din would guide the spirit to the final resting place in the Beyond. Ellana opened her eyes, filing away the idea of planting a tree in their honor.

“Inquisitor, I did not expect to see you out here this early,” Ellana turned to see Mother Giselle sitting next to her. “Is everything alright?”

“I was just praying for someone I lost,” Ellana answered wiping her eyes, deciding not to be candid with Mother Giselle.

“I am very sorry,” Mother Giselle consoled. “I came out here before most awoke so that I could pray as well.”

“Can I ask you a question, Mother Giselle?” Ellana asked staring at nothing.

“Of course.”

“What does that Chantry teach happens after a person dies?”

“Well,” Mother Giselle organized her thoughts and then answered. “The Chantry teaches that the soul of the dead enters the Fade and if the life was well lived the soul is reunited with the Maker.”

“Is that what you believe, Mother Giselle?”

“If I did not, none that I do would mean anything,” Mother Giselle answered plainly.

Ellana considered her words. “Thank you,” Ellana all but whispered.

“If you excuse me,” Mother Giselle added, “I should get to my prayers.” Mother Giselle walked towards the chapel in the garden. Ellana watched her as she left.

“I did not think the two of you would have much in common,” Ellana heard the voice of Morrigan from behind her.

“We don’t,” Ellana confirmed. “But that does not mean we can’t have discussions about our beliefs. Differences are more interesting than commonalities.”

“I see,” Morrigan said from behind. “I am going into the Crossroads to meditate; would you like to join me.”

Ellana rose and joined Morrigan on her walk towards the Eluvian. Standing in front of the mirror, Morrigan activated the Eluvian and allowed Ellana to walk through, following behind. The pair walked towards a center area that was surrounded by four inactive Eluvians.

“Morrigan, can you activate every Eluvian in the Crossroads?” Ellana asked curiously.

“No, Morrigan answered, “Each Eluvian has a unique passkey, I am unable to synchronize them all to a single one. Such a feat would require an immense amount of power. Besides, the Crossroads is massive, and you’d need each individual passkeys to synchronize them. I have a suspicion that other parts are being controlled by other entities, whether malevolent or benevolent has yet to be determined.”

“What makes you think that?”

“The Vir'abelasan whispers that information to me,” Morrigan informed Ellana. “However, who controls what, in the present, is lost to it. I only have access to Eluvians that Mythal had access to.”

There was a pause in the conversation that allowed Morrigan a moment to begin her meditation. Ellana considered telling Morrigan about the previous day’s events and requesting Morrigan ask the Well if it had any words of wisdom. However, Ellana suspected that the Well would tell her nothing that she did not already know.

“I can feel your eyes and emotions reaching out to me Inquisitor,” Morrigan said frowning at the intrusion.

“I didn’t realize—”

“These things are amplified here,” Morrigan explained, eyes still closed. “What is the matter?”

“I…” Ellana took a breath. “I experienced a loss recently relating to a relationship that had ended, and I was thinking whether or not I should reach out to them. I wanted to ask the Vir'abelasan if it had any words of wisdom,” Ellana confessed.

Morrigan opened her eyes and held eye contact with Ellana. She nodded with understanding and closed her eyes for a moment listening to something Ellana could not hear. “The Well says that…it asks if…no. It says you’re better off not informing them, for it will bring nothing but sorrow.” Ellana looked down at the ground, hearing the words that she already knew. Morrigan closed her eyes again to reengage with her meditation. Ellana attempted to meditate as well.

After finishing the morning meditation with Morrigan within the Crossroads, Ellana joined her advisors for a council meeting that Morrigan decided not to attend. Charter, Josephine, and Cullen were surprised to see Ellana emerge through the doors. “Oh, Inquisitor!” Josephine exclaimed, “We were not expecting you to join us today.”

“I needed to get out of my room and engage with the outside world. Any news from outside of Skyhold?” Ellana asked.

“King Theirin and Queen Anora of Fereldan, had formally invited the Inquisition to attend a thank you dinner for our help in aiding the peace talks between their country and Emperor Gaspard as well as the aid the Inquisition provided in stopping the assassination against both him and the Queen.” Josephine announced to Ellana, “I just finished telling the others about it.”

“Didn’t King Theirin already send that sword from King Calenhad as thanks?” Cullen asked. “I really rather not have to perform in court…again.”

“Yes, but…” Josephine added. “Now that the wars are over, he wants to formally thank us and finally meet the Inquisitor in person.” Cullen sighed long and hard at Josephine’s answer rubbing his eyes in exacerbation.

“Perfect,” Ellana said clasping her hands together. “Just let me know when to leave.”

***

Inquisitor Ellana Lavellan arrived in Denerim, the capital city of Fereldan, with Charter, Leliana, and Cullen a month after the invitation was received. During their stay, the group had been busy with administrative x tours and sitting in meetings to discuss a formal alliance between the Inquisition and Fereldan, which would mirror the formal alliance between the Inquisition and Orlais. In doing so, it would bring stability to both Orlais and Fereldan.

Ellana sat in the room with both the Orlesian and Fereldan ambassador as they engaged in political warfare with Josephine trying her best to negotiate the talks. The King and the Emperor were not in attendance. King Theirin preferred not to be as hands on with these type matters of state, but he did show face in the first half of the negotiation.

The entire meeting confused Ellana, who assumed the treaty was established during Josephine’s trip to Fereldan after Gaspard was crowned emperor. Unfortunately, the Fereldan ambassador noticed a clause that favored Orlais and now the countries are starting at square one. Ellana was starting to think this dinner invitation was an excuse to get the Inquisition to do another favor on behalf of the King.

Ellana took a deep breath and leaned towards Josephine, “I need to step out for some air.” Josephine nodded and Ellana excused herself. Ellana walked out of the meeting hall and found her way towards the palace courtyard, which held a rose garden.

As Ellana walked she began to feel as if someone was watching her. However, Ellana was unable to investigate her suspicion as she came across her tactical advisor and the King walking in tandem with the King’s advisor in tow. Ellana continued her walking path towards the two men. As she approached, Cullen gestured towards her after she caught his attention. “Ah, look who it is, our supreme leader.”

“Ah yes, my illustrious commander. I hope he is fulfilling his duties…dutifully…your highness,” Ellana said with a strained smile.

“Supreme Leader, Inquisitor Lavellan, it’s an honor to officially meet you. I’ve seen you around, of course, but I think this is the first time we have spoken,” King Theirin greeted.

“Yes, your majesty, thank you for your hospitality. Though, I have yet to meet Queen Anora,” Ellana said smiling.

“Yes, you’ll meet her tonight,” he responded as one of his advisors rushed forward to whisper something into his ear. “Ah yes, if you excuse me, I need to attend to something.” King Theirin walked off with his advisor.

Ellana turned to Cullen. “How are diplomatic relations coming along?” Ellana asked.

“They are coming along well,” Cullen said, “King Alistair is looking forward to the dinner, and apparently so is Queen Anora.”

“The King is a hero if I’m not mistaken. He and the Hero of Fereldan killed the archdemon during the fifth Blight. I think Leliana mentioned that she and Morrigan traveled with them during that time.”

“Yes, that’s him,” Cullen said nodding. “He was a Warden before he was King.”

“Wow, that’s impressive,” Ellana commented impressed. “He seems so well adjusted and nice, you’d never guess he went through something so traumatic. With Leliana and Morrigan, you can tell that they were affected by what happened during the fifth blight.”

“You don’t show the effects of your work either, Ellana, at least not publicly” Cullen informed her. “In private however…” Cullen looked at Ellana and then cleared his throat realizing he might be crossing a boundary not meant to be discussed in public. Instead, he asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Better than I was a month ago,” Ellana chuckled, recognizing his awkwardness.

“Good,” Cullen responded, “If you ever want to talk about these things in length, I am open…” Ellana looked at Cullen with her head tilted. Noticing her expression, Cullen’s cheeks began to redden. “I didn’t mean…Excuse me.” Cullen excused himself to continue what he originally planned before he had run into King Theirin. Ellana nodded, blushing and also confused at what had just occurred. Once he was gone, she continued her stroll.

On her way back to the meeting room, Ellana noticed a human servant following her. To make sure, she rounded a corner that did not lead directly towards the room and made a circle, which led back to the rose garden. She looked back and the human was still behind her. Determining she was being followed, Ellana stopped and then Fade-stepped behind her stalker. “Why are you following me?” Ellana asked when the human suddenly turned to see who appeared directly behind them.

“I don’t know what you mean,” the servant answered with a Tevinter accent. “I’m just walking.”

“Right…” Ellana rolled her eyes. “This is your one and only warning. Tell whoever sent you that if I see you again, you won’t return to them.” The human stared at her in shock. Ellana raised her head in open hostility and then Fade-stepped. She stepped into the hallway she had originally walked out of and poked her head around the wall. The human was confused and shaking, thoroughly terrified. Ellana guessed whoever hired them did not tell them that she was a mage.

Turning from the courtyard, Ellana returned to the meeting room. The meeting was wrapping up and everyone looked pleased. “Inquisitor!” Josephine called, “We have good news!”

“I will be happy to hear it,” Ellana smiled, “But I need to speak with my Spymaster first. Where is she?”

“I am here Inquisitor,” Charter announced, suddenly stepping into view.

“Someone sent spies to the castle,” Ellana voiced under her breath.

“There are spies everywhere Inquisitor, I’m surprised you just noticed,” Charter chuckled.

“No, this is different than the standard spy. I was being followed by a human with a Tevinter accent. A Tevinter with no magic ability dressed as a servant walking the Ferelden court, stalking the Inquisitor. They seemed to not know I was a mage, so I assume their employer did not inform them who they were watching.” Ellana relayed to Charter.

“People from Southern Thedas usually send bards,” Charter pondered. “I assumed when you said spy, you meant one of them. Someone from the North perhaps?”

“Not, sure, stay vigilant,” Ellana commanded.

***

The rest of the stay in Denerim was uneventful. Ellana’s follower listened to her warning and was never seen again. Charter had yet to be able to find any information about who the person could have been or where they could have come from, other than Northern Thedas and, maybe, Tevinter.

Ellana lay alone in her bathtub, her head leaning against the tub’s edge. Seraelia was noticeably missing, she was on vacation for the next two months, visiting her family and meeting the family of the soldier she had been courting. Ellana was grateful for the time alone and it allowed her to get used to doing things for herself again. Having Seraelia around was welcomed, but being able to care for your own basic needs is something that Ellana forever grateful for.

Ellana took a deep breath, the “vacation” to Denerim was nice, even enjoyable. Meeting the King and Queen was enjoyable, and they seemed like decent enough people. Yet even though Ellana was riding the high of the diplomatic success, her thoughts still turned to her lost child and Solas. Even though it had been a litter over a month, Ellana still woke up each morning with a strange heaviness in her chest. Some days, Ellana felt the aching grief and other days she felt this soul-crushing numbness. Sometimes it felt like her body was remembering something her mind is trying to forget.

The grief was expected but Ellana did not expect to feel hollow. A deafening silence within her, like something vital had been taken and replaced with absence. In her quietest hours, when no one was watching, she blamed herself. If only she had not laid with Solas without thinking of the consequences. That is when the anger crept in, though she rarely admitted it out loud. Anger at her body for failing her and at the unfairness of failing.

Sometimes Ellana would be angry because she wondered where Solas was and that she cared if he was safe. Charter had been unable to locate any trace of him since taking over for Leliana. Ellana hoped it was for the best, that destiny wanted them a part. She made a vow with herself at that moment to put all the hurt and anger into building her organization. Proud of her personal vow, Ellana rose from her bath and went to bed.

Currently forgotten under a pile of unread letters and reports, there was a note left by Charter on Ellana’s desk. The note was unsigned, and Ellana had yet to read it. The note read:

Inquisitor,

I received this note on my desk this morning. None of my spies know who sent it or saw who delivered it. See below:

Below Charter’s introduction was the note which read:

I hope this letter finds you in a moment of quiet. I cannot pretend to understand your pain, but I do know that you carry more strength than you admit. You’ve always had a beautiful resilience about you, even when things felt impossible. And if there are days when that’s hard to remember, I hope you’ll hold on to the truth that none of this changes your worth or the light you bring into the world.

Chapter Text

Story Two

Two years after the fall of Corypheus, Ellana and her three advisors rode horseback into the Winter Palace with forced smiles on their faces. The four of them are flanked by Orlesian soldiers who watch them with mistrust. As Ellana waves to soldiers and nobles alike, she is mindful not to make any facial expressions that may give away her uneasiness about the circumstances of the Inquisition's arrival.

“Another parade, another bloody negotiation,” Cullen complained under his breath.

“Yes, we know how much you love court, Commander,” Charter said in response, maintaining her grin.

“Smiles, everyone. We must be careful how we present ourselves,” Josephine warned. “Remember the Game started as soon as the first set of nobles laid eyes on us.”

“Why did Divine Victoria call the Exalted Council?” Cullen whined with strain in his voice. “She’s kept Orlais from bothering us for the last two years.”

“At increasing political cost, yes,” Josephine answered. “She has done all she can, but the Exalted Council has become necessary.” Ellana looked down at Arl Tegan and Duke Cyril looked down at them from an overpass as they passed underneath. She nodded to them both with a wide and inviting smile, they nodded in return assessing her. “Orlais would control us. And based on their many marriage proposals, they have specific plans for you. But our real concern is Fereldan. They would see us disbanded entirely.”

Ferelden being a concern annoyed Ellana, given how much effort she put into maintaining their diplomatic relationships. “This is a conversation for another time,” Ellana warned the two, “We have company.”

The horses arrived at the front steps of the Winter Palace, where Mother Giselle waited for their arrival. Ellana dismounted her horse and walked to Mother Giselle with open arms. She gave the older woman a hug. “Inquisitor. It has been too long. I hope the last year, and a half have been kind to you,” Mother Giselle greeted. About four months after the fall of Corypheus, Mother Giselle had returned to her chantry duties at the call of Divine Victoria.

Smiling with a genuine smile, Ellana asked, “How have you been, Mother Giselle?”

“I spent the summer in Emprise du Lion, distributing food sent from the Exalted Plains. The Dales are finally recovering,” she reflected at the end. Ellana knew how important helping others was to Mother Giselle, and Ellana was happy she had been able to discover her purpose again.

“Corypheus left a great deal of damage for us to repair. I appreciate your efforts,” Ellana said.

“And I yours, Your Worship,” she said in return. “I should mention that your forces at Suledin Keep were of great help. Please give my compliments to Baron Desjardins.”

“That is great to hear,” Ellana said. “Now tell me, why have you been sent to greet us?”

“Divine Victoria asked me to greet you on her behalf. She is currently attending to the Fereldan ambassador’s concerns,” Mother Giselle addressing all four who stood in front of her.

“I see. I’ll speak with Divine Victoria,” Ellana said looking around at the palace before her, taking in the beauty.

“I believe she would appreciate that, Your Worship. The Divine sees the good that you can do, and have done,” Mother Giselle nodded in private agreement. “Duke Cyril will wish to greet you on behalf of Orlais. I believe he is currently speaking with the Tevinter ambassador. Also, your friends have returned to offer their support. I hope you have a chance to speak with them before the Exalted Council begins.”

“They’ve come here, for this?” Ellana asked shocked. “Who’s all here?”

“Your dwarven friend, Master Tethras, for one. I understand he spent much of the last few years in Kirkwall,” Mother Giselle started. “I believe Ser Blackwall has returned as well… although he now uses the name Thom Rainier. And of course, there is the Tevinter ambassador.”

“Who?” Ellana asked confused.

“Your Worship, Dorian Pavus has taken the chance to return from Tevinter.”

“Well, I’ll be damned. I haven’t seen that man in a year,” Ellana said crossing her arms with amusement.

Mother Giselle continued, smiling at Ellana’s use of language, “Enjoy time with them while you can. I doubt you will have the chance once the Exalted Council is underway.”

“Thank you, Mother Giselle.”

“Your Worship, a final question, if I may,” Mother Giselle said reaching out to Ellana who was beginning to walk away. “This Exalted Council… Ferelden would have the Inquisition disband. Orlais sees its power as another feather in a chevalier’s helmet. What do you wish to do with the Inquisition?”

“The Inquisition still has work to do, and it would be foolish to allow fear to push us into disbanding,” Ellana answered looking towards Josephine, who nodded in agreement.

“Then I wish you luck in the negotiations to come. May the Maker watch over you, Inquisitor.” Mother Giselle said her salutations and then proceeded to walk away, leaving Ellana and company where they stood.

Ellana and her team proceed into the courtyard of the palace. Ellana wanted to walk around and see all who were kind enough to come and support the Inquisition, but she needed to talk to Divine Victoria, err Leliana, first. She bid her team goodbye, telling them such and proceeded to walk up the balcony steps. Ellana spotted a sitting area that was surrounded by people and assumed she would find Leliana there.

She was correct in her assumption. Ellana smiled at the sight of the woman serving as Divine. She approached Leliana who was in the midst of conversation with Arl Tegan. At her approach, they both stopped talking and looked at her. “Excuse me, Divine Victoria. Am I interrupting?” Ellana asked.

“Of course not, Inquisitor. I was catching up with Redcliffe’s Arl. He is here to represent Ferelden at the summit.”

“Inquisitor. Good to meet you,” Arl Tegan greeted the Inquisitor with a bow.

“How are things in Redcliffe, my lord?”

“Blessedly quiet. The mayor conveys his greetings. Redcliffe remembers its savior. We still come across scars left by the Venatori, but the land continues to mend.”

“Lovely,” Ellana responded. “I had hoped to steal a moment of the Divine’s time…”

“Very well. We’ll continue this later, Your Perfection,” Teagan bowed and then walked away.

“As you know many are frightened of the Inquisition’s power, but I will do all I can to allay their fears.”

“Is there anything I can do to make your job easier?”

“Mingle and let yourself be seen. The delegates need to put a face to the legends. I have much to do but let me say this: I may no longer be your spymaster, but I am always here if you require.”

“Thank you, your Perfection,” Ellana had a hint of humor when she used Leliana’s honorific.

Leliana chuckled in response, “It’s good to see you again, Inquisitor. I assume my replacement has served you well.”

“She is no Nightingale, but she is talented,” Ellana answered, praising Charter.

“I am glad to hear it,” Leliana turned as she heard another voice call for the Divine. “I will talk to you later, Inquisitor.” Leliana walked away to attend to other matters, as Teagan approached Ellana from behind. “I’m glad you’ve finally arrived, Inquisitor. The crown’s anxious for news,” he said grabbing her attention.

Ellana turned in the direction of the voice asking, “And your thoughts on Ferelden’s position?”

“The Breach is long gone, yet Skyhold’s army remains. Ferelden can’t continue to ignore soldiers on its borders.”

“The Inquisition has grown. I can see how its presence might cause concern.”

“Then you understand why we must demand a reduction of your military forces. A power without allegiance to either Ferelden or Orlais? Even I see neither of our countries can let it rest.”

“I appreciate knowing where Ferelden stands,” Ellana said standing back on her heels and crossing her arms over her chest.

“You are owed that, Inquisitor. Especially here,” Teagan moved to stand slightly closer to the Inquisitor. Then he added, talking much quieter, “These Orlesians will talk circles around you before you get a simple greeting out.” He stood tall and returned to his previous position. “I won’t keep you longer. We’ll have words enough when the Exalted Council begins.” With that, he left.

Ellana watched as the Arl walked away. There was no way, she was going to relent to Fereldan so easily, especially after all the effort she put into helping them stabilize their government and borders. Shaking her head, she heard a voice that sounded all too familiar. Turning, she saw Dorian from across the balcony talking to Duke Cyril.

As she approached, she heard Cyril say, “Orlais is on your side, Lord Pavus. The Inquisition’s support is not a thing to lose lightly.”

“Which is why the Orlesian court is circling it with a net and collar?” Ellana heard Dorian ask the Duke. Spotting Ellana approaching, Dorian added, “But you’ll have to excuse me! I see an old friend I must greet.” Dorian rose from his seat and approached Ellana. The two of them hugged. Dorian greeted, “How long has it been? Don’t actually tell me, I despise feeling old. It’s good to see you, my friend.”

“Thrilled to be at the Exalted Council, Ambassador Pavus?” Ellana asked sarcastically.

“Absolutely riveted,” Dorian chuckled. “Orlais wants the Inquisition tamed, Ferelden wants it gone, the Chantry meddles, and Tevinter sends but one ambassador. That’s me, by the way. A ‘reward for my interest in the South.’ Thankfully, ‘Ambassador Pavus’ is a token appointment. Call me as you like”

Duke Cyril suddenly approached the two as they talked. “Sorry to interrupt, I must introduce myself to the Inquisitor,” he said when Dorian looked at him annoyed. Ellana only smiled. “Inquisitor. Duke Cyril Montfort, member of the Council of Heralds and lord of Chateau Haine. I have long followed your work. It is extraordinary.”

“Is that sentiment shared by the rest of the court?” Ellana asked cocking her eyebrow.

Laughing, Cyril added, “Of course! Orlais wishes only to offer respectful guidance to the Inquisition.”

Holding stern eye contact, having deduced the meaning of his words, Ellana asked, “Does Your Grace feel the Inquisition should continue to rule itself?”

“I would rather see the Inquisition join us freely than be carved into pieces for the chessboard,” an answer that surprised Ellana.

“Hmmm,” Ellana hummed in response.

“I have not forgotten Justinia’s death. I had friends who perished at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. More than the good you have done, it is the good we may do together I don’t wish to lose. Whatever happens, Inquisitor, I wish you well.”

After Cyril left, Ellana turned back to Dorian. “That definitely could have waited,” Dorian shook his head. “The council starts tomorrow morning, planning to get into any fun before then?”

“You know me so well, Dorian. I was actually going to go see some of our friends and catch up.”

“What? They’re here?” Dorian asked surprised. “Including…”

“I don’t know,” Ellana answered before he could say the name. “I have to walk around and see.”

“I will talk to you later then,” Dorian said with quiet understanding. “Let’s catch up over some wine later.” Ellana smiled as Dorian returned to his seat.

Ellana walked away in quiet contemplation, trying not to think that she may run into a certain someone at this council. If she did, she was unsure about what she would even say. Shaking her head to disrupt her thoughts, she turned to other matters.

Instead, Ellana chose to think about who would and would not support the Inquisition remaining independent. And if the option was taken from her, would she disband or allow the Inquisition to be absorbed into the Chantry. If the Inquisition was absorbed into the Chantry, what would that mean for Ellana and every other non-human member of the organization?

***

“Let me go alone,” Ellana turned to her three companions, who nodded in response. Ellana turned, taking a deep breath before she stepped through the Eluvian, alone. “Solas?” she whispered as she emerged from the other side of the mirror. “Ahh,” Ellana gasped as she almost ran face-first into a petrified Qunari. She backed up, quickly, bumping into the inactive Eluvian. Noticing she was in no danger, she assessed her soundings. She looked around and saw a dozen Qunari mid-attack that had been petrified. Taking the hand that was not burning her alive, she tapped against one of the statues, nothing.

Hearing voices ahead, she ran towards the sound. There he was, up on the hill, talking with the Viddasala. Many emotions ran through Ellana all at once. The accumulation of two years of burying her feelings bubbling all up at once. Ellana began to cry and ran towards the two.

The Viddasala began to charge Solas, but she did not make it. The Viddasala turned to stone mid-attack. Solas turned to pass through the second Eluvian. Ellana sensing that she was going to lose him again, called out to him in something like an anguished cry, years of longing in her voice. A cry she thought she left in the therebefore.

Solas stopped mid-walk and turned. She said his name again, much closer almost a whisper. “Solas.” Suddenly, the anchor flashed a bright green color, which caused Ellana to cry out in anguish. She fell to the ground clutching her hand, but not allowing her eyes to leave Solas’ face, lest she lose him.

Solas’s eyes flashed with magic, and the anchor calmed down. He bent down and held her with both hands, lifting her up and helping her to stand tall. She looked at him, searching his face. He looked troubled and ashamed. “That should give us more time. I suspect you have questions,” Solas said, not allowing Ellana the opportunity to talk first. Ellana thought he looked beautiful, she hoped she looked the same way.

Ellana answered, almost a whisper, “I wanted to get here first.” Realizing that she was talking more to herself than him, she stood tall and said with more confidence, “The Qunari answered some of those questions, but the information I found while traveling through the Eluvians answered more.” She took a deep breath and admitted, “You’re Fen’Harel.”

“Well done,” Solas looked genuinely impressed. He stood back from her, allowing for some space between the two of them. “I was Solas first. ‘Fen’Harel’ came later… an insult I took as a badge of pride. The Dread Wolf inspired hope in my friends and fear in my enemies… not unlike ‘Inquisitor,’ I suppose.” He chuckled at the last bit.

Ellana, trying to find what was so amusing to him, but could not, felt the urge to attack him. The rage of the years left abandoned, to deal with grief alone and in pieces. All to end up being the boogeyman of her culture’s lore. However, Ellana kept that anger inside, pushing it down to lie next to her longing.

“And now you know.”

 Ellana did not respond.

“What is the old Dalish curse? ‘May the Dread Wolf take you’?” Solas asked. This time the humor in his voice was not lost on Ellana. Was that all she was now? The woman who seduced a god?

“Ma harel lasa!” Ellana screeched with the hurt of his betrayal evident in her scrunched eyes.

“Only by omission,” Solas said flatly, eyebrows pinched together. Ellana felt heat rise in her chest, she grew frustrated with his insistence on always being technically correct.

“But you did lie to me,” Ellana said pointing at her heart. “And I loved you. Did you really think I wouldn’t have understood?” Ellana painfully tried to get through to him.

“What would you have had me say? That I was the great adversary in your people’s mythology?” Sounding equally as desperate. Ellana could hear she was getting to him, hopefully she could use that desperation to get to the truth.

“I would have had you trust me! We had a—” Ellana stopped herself from almost telling him about the miscarriage. She paused, attempting to breathe, composing her affect, and willing herself to continue.

“Ir abelas, Vhenan,” Solas whispered when she did not say anything else. He sounded sincere.

“Tel’abelas. If you care, give me the whole truth, no omissions,” Ellana commanded. Solas took a deep breath and walked towards the cliffside. Ellana stood slightly behind him to watch what he would do. She could not bring herself to trust him, not really, not after everything.

Solas began a carefully crafted monologue, as if practiced, “I sought to set my people free from slavery to would-be gods. I broke the chains of all who wished to join me. The false gods called me Fen’Harel, and when they finally went too far, I formed the Veil and banished them forever. Thus, I freed the Elvhen people and, in so doing, destroyed their world.”

“You banished the false gods, but you didn’t kill them? Why?” Ellana asked confused, thinking of Mythal.

“You met Mythal, did you not? The first of my people do not die so easily. The Evanuris are banished forever, paying the ultimate price for their misdeeds.”

“My people, never our,” Ellana mumbled to herself, considering. Putting the pieces all together. She silently cursed herself for never realizing the truth that was always in her face. “What did they do that made you move against them?”

“They killed Mythal,” Solas chuckled. “A crime for which an eternity of torment is the only fitting punishment.”

Ellana remembered about Solas’ friend who died. Ellana realized that the “friend,” Solas knew his whole life and who died too young, was Mythal. “I thought Mythal was one of the Evanuris,” Ellana clarified.

“She was the best of them. She cared for her people. She protected them. She was a voice of reason. And in their lust for power, they killed her,” Solas nostalgically remembered.

“That’s the past,” Ellana said as if none of it really mattered, and to her, in this moment, it did not. “What about the future?”

“I lay in dark and dreaming sleep while countless wars and ages passed. I woke still weak a year before I joined you. My people fell for what I did to strike the Evanuris down, but still some hope remains for restoration.” They walked further together. Solas stopped in front of the Eluvian. “I will save the Elvhen people, even if it means this world must die.”

“Even if I die,” Ellana said considering the underlying meaning of his words. “Is it worth that Solas?” When he did not answer, she grabbed his arm and turned him around forcefully in order for him to face her. When he did, she saw the tears. She ignored his tears. “Why does this world have to die for the Elvhes to return?”

“A good question, but not one I will answer,” he said tearfully. “You have always shown a thoughtfulness that encouraged me to share more than I should. A thoughtfulness, I respected and loved. It would be too easy for me to tell you too much.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Ellana begged. “Let me help you, Solas.” Ellana placed a hand against his heart. She could feel his heartbeat; the rhythm matching her own.

“I cannot do that to you, Vhenan,” he said, removing her hand from his torso, the intimacy purposely broken.

“But you would do it to yourself?” Ellana asked watching him drop her hand.

“I walk the din’anshiral. There is only death on this journey. I would not have you see what I become.”

“You would not want to watch me see the world I love destroyed and I die with it,”

Solas continued talking, choosing to ignore the implication of Ellana’s words, “I am not Corypheus. I take no joy in this. But the return of my people means the end of yours.”

“Solas, whatever you want, this world dying is not the answer.”

“Not a good answer, no. Sometimes terrible choices are all that remain. It is my fight. You should be more concerned about the Inquisition. Your Inquisition. In stopping the Dragon’s Breath, you have prevented an invasion by Qunari forces. With luck, they will return their focus to Tevinter. That should give you a few years of relative peace.”

“The Qunari said the Inquisition was unknowingly working for agents of Fen’Harel.”

“I gave no orders.”

“But you led us to Skyhold.”

“Corypheus should have died unlocking my orb. When he survived, my plans were thrown into chaos. When you survived, I saw the Inquisition as the best hope this world had of stopping him. And you needed a home. Hence, Skyhold.”

“You gave your orb to Corypheus?”

“Not directly. My agents allowed the Venatori to locate it. The orb had built up magical energy while I lay unconscious for millennia. I was not powerful enough to open it. The plan was for Corypheus to unlock it, and for the resulting explosion to kill him. Then I would claim the orb. I did not foresee a Tevinter magister having learned the secret of effective immortality.” In response, Ellana shook her head at his ignorance.

“I never thought of you as someone who would do that, Solas.”

Solas looked away from Ellana’s eyes. “Thank you,” Solas said as if the meaning of her words would mean more than she would ever know. “You must understand. I awoke in a world where the Veil had blocked most people’s conscious connection to the Fade. It was like walking through a world of Tranquil.”

“Is that what you think of me, Tranquil!?” Ellana snapped, accusing.

“No.”

“I was never even a person to you?” Ellana’s accusations continued.

“Not at first. You showed me that I was wrong… again,” Solas closed his eyes, and took a breath, composing his facial expressions. “That does not make what must come next any easier.”

“You never cared about me. I was the means to an end,” Ellana continued almost screaming.

“You are a person, and you deserve better… like all the rest I have used in one hopeless battle after another,” Solas admitted, rounding his shoulders in guilt.

“And there’s still the matter of the anchor. It’s getting worse and…’” Ellana chuckled at her mortality. “I probably won’t even live long enough to see the end of the world.

“I know, Vhenan. And we are running out of time.” Solas allowed the anchor to flare, causing Ellana to drop to her knees in pain. “Drawing you here gave me the chance to save you… at least for now.”

“Var lath vir suledin,” she whispered in agony, begging him to reconsider.

The need in her voice fell upon deaf ears. “I wish it could, Vhenan. Maybe in another world...”

“Why not this one?” Ellana cried out in pain. Looking to him for comfort, for him to save her. This can’t be how it ended. Solas gave into the proximity. He knelt in front of her, and they kissed. It was passionate and desperately hot. Ellana opened her eyes, to a flash of blue in his, severing her arm with his magic.

“My love…” Solas stood leaving her in the dirt. “I will never forget you.” Solas turned and immediately walked through the Eluvian.

Suddenly feeling a rush of relief wash over her, Ellana stood and ran towards the inactive Eluvian. She slammed against it. She began banging on it, willing him to open it from the other side. “Open the Eluvian Solas please!” She cried as if he could hear her. “I’m begging you, just open it please.” Ellana slid down to her knees before the Eluvian. “Open the fucking Eluvian Solas!!” The tears fell freely as she knelt in front of the mirror. “I forgot to tell him about her.” Where her arm once was, she could feel a dull burning sensation. With her other arm, her only arm, she hugged herself and cried.

***

Ellana pushed open the doors to the council with her one hand. Her other sleeve, now empty, swung at her side. She was bruised and bloody. Her eyes were puffy, and she had a massive headache. But her job was not yet complete. Most of the eyes turned towards Ellana, who was quite the sight to behold. Some onlookers even gasped. “Without our organization, you would not be alive to complain,” Leliana said trying to reason with the ambassadors.

Teagan sighed, “No one has forgotten what you have done. But Corypheus is two years dead.”

Cyril cut in, “If the Inquisition is to continue, it must do so as a legitimate organization, not a glorified mercenary band.”

Ellana walked up to stand next to Josephine. “Inquisitor?” Josephine looked towards Ellana in shock at what she saw.

Ellana raised the writ from Divine Justinia. The book was heavy and with her injuries unattended to, Ellana could barely lift it without pain. “You all know what this is. A writ from Divine Justinia authorizing the formation of the Inquisition. We pledged to close the Breach, find those responsible, and restore order. With or without anyone’s approval.” Ellana paused turning in a circle so that all could see the book “We have fulfilled that pledge. And now the war is over, for most of us. It is time for our soldiers to sheathe their swords and go home. To all who served: Thank you. It has been an honor.” Ellana handed the book over to Josephine, who watched Ellana command the space with wide eyes. “Effective immediately, the Inquisition is disbanded.” Gasps and murmurs filled the room.

Once the initial shock of the news dissipated, Ellana and her advisors met in a separate room. Cassandra walked in, with Leliana following in after a moment. “I’m sorry Ellana, my agents have found nothing. With the Eluvians, Solas could be anywhere.”

“With the Inquisition officially disbanded, we have no army, no formal alliances…” Cassandra said thinking.

“We have what we truly need,” Josephine added trying to be encouraging.

Cullen sighed, “We will need to be careful. Look at all he’s done to earn our trust.”

“Solas knows everything about us. Who we are, how we work, our strengths and weaknesses…” Leliana informed the room, stating the obvious.

“Then we find people he doesn’t know.” Ellana paused, considering her next steps. Solas is his own worst enemy, but I will stand between him and his downfall, she vowed to herself.

End of Part Two

Chapter Text

Between the Quiet and the Storm: Part Three

Story One

Firstfall, 9:45 Dragon: The nightmares returned four months after Solas left Ellana at the Eluvian. Ellana would wake in the night, gasping for air, only to fall onto her back and immediately fall back under. Apparitions, haunting, regrets, and demons would plague her. Her loved ones, dying in her arms. People she hated, attacking her. It seemed like it would never end. 

When the Inquisition was disbanded, some were relieved while others chose to remember the many lives that were saved. Many of those who had served returned to their former lives and hoped that peace would remain. With their plot disrupted, the Qunari retreated back into Northern Thedas, choosing to reinitiate war against Tevinter. 

After the Inquisition disbanded, Elvhes left the Inquisition in droves far larger than what could be explained by coincidence alone, as did Elvhen servants across Thedas. It hurt Ellana deeply to see just how many of the Elvhes she had worked with suddenly abandoned her. The one that hurt the most was Seraelia. She had left suddenly, and without notice. Her absence left a heavy hurt. Reflecting, she wondered if Seraelia was an agent of Fen’Harel; and if she was, did she even know that Solas is Fen’Harel. From the day she disappeared until this day, Ellana would find herself crying over the possibility that Seraelia purposely betrayed her.

After 10 months of nightmares, Ellana would try to avoid sleeping. The excuse this time was that she needed to plan for her move to the Tevinter Imperium. Ellana was going to meet Dorian in Tevinter, who had returned to Tevinter to take his father's place in the Magisterium. Dorian planned for her to meet Magister Maevaris Tilani. The two of them had formed a group called the Lucerni, in order to, in Dorian's words: “restore and redeem Tevinter.” 

As of today, Ellana had been awake for two days straight. Keeping busy with helping Cassandra pack what she needed from the former Seeker Headquarters, spending their days sifting through old secrets. Tomorrow, Cassandra would venture to the Hunterhorn Mountains north of Orlais, to rebuild the seekers there. Ellana was mentally and physically exhausted, but she kept going because when she left for Tevinter, Ellana knew it would be a long time before she saw her friend again.  

Ellana, who just deactivated her sending crystal from a long conversation with Dorian, sat upright at a small desk in the corner of her room in Val Royeaux trying to keep awake.  Dorian had spent the better part of thirty minutes chastising Ellana for donating a hefty portion of the money set aside for emergencies to former Commander Cullen’s templar sanctuary. Ellana yawned and put the crystal in the desk drawer on top of a letter Cole had written to her updating her on his travels with Maryden.

Ever since Cullen had decided that he would retire from active service, he had planned to open a sanctuary for former-templars in Ferelden on land Divine Victoria granted to him. Ellana hoped that Cullen would be able to help many templars shed their lyrium addiction and for those who he could not help, spend their last days in comfort. Ellana thought it a noble cause, so she pledged her money and Cullen pledged that his blade would be ever ready if she called on him.

Ellana leaned back in her chair and glanced over at a pre-published copy of Varric's new book, "All This Shit is Weird," the memoir he wrote about his time in the Inquisition. Varric had sent both her and Cassandra a signed copy. Ellana was about halfway through the satirical piece, but she stopped when she got to Solas. She had not been able to continue reading without tearing up. But with nothing to occupy her time, she thought that maybe tonight would be the night she gets through the chapter. Yet, her body had other plans for her and before she could even reach for the novel, she was fast asleep.

***

This one was different from the rest, but she could not figure out how. Ellana walked into a large room, gilded with gold, mosaics covering the wall. The stained-glass windows depicted battles from history. Elvhes victorious and vanquished. Ellana turned towards the mosaics, they were in the likeness of powerful mages, gods, and their seconds. 

An Elf approached her, “May I take your overcoat, my lady?” The servant bowed his head in reverence. Ellana nodded, it felt natural, automatic. Ellana was unsure why but felt too embarrassed to ask. 

She allowed the servant to take her overcoat and another followed behind saying, “If you follow me Lady Lavellan.” They walked together into another large room. This room was more beautiful than the first, with large crystal windows and marble floors. Ellana looked around in awe, not noticing the servant who arrived in front of her with a large tray. She looked towards the servant and took a flute, of what, honeyed mead it seemed. 

Taking a sip she could feel the magic within the alcohol. It seemed that the liquid was magic in itself and it was nothing like Ellana had ever tasted before. The flavored danced across her tongue causing her tastebuds to tingle. Unable to control the impulse, she finished the contents of the flute in one swift sip. She could feel heat radiate off the liquid as it slid down her throat. The feeling when it hit her stomach: similar to a warm hug. 

In the center of the room a band played a song in a language she both recognized and did not recognize at the same time. She pulled her head back and forth to the tune, feeling within her the emotion of the song: longing, for a lost love. Ellana thought it an odd choice for what looked like a dinner party, but she was only a guest and would not complain. 

Ellana continued to sway at the sound of the music, the crystal headpiece she was wearing wove in her face, the hanging crystals reflecting the light of the room. Her Vision blurring in and out as if she was drunk. She could feel the way the music interacted with the magic in the air, and it was intoxicating. To Ellana it felt unfamiliar but also like this was how she always lived her life. How long had she lived like this but never noticed. She could not remember how old she was. 

The magic wrapped around her, and she suddenly felt like she had lost someone. She wanted to cry for this lost love but was interrupted by a voice from behind, “Are you enjoying the evening, Lady Lavellan?” Ellana tried to turn towards the voice, but her head would not move. She was locked in the direction of the music and the magic within it. 

“This is Elvhenan, before the veil,” a male voice sung into her ear, the voice felt intimate. The voice was both familiar and unfamiliar. The identity of the voice Ellana knew, but she could not remember who it was. Ellana closed her eyes to the voice that sounded to her like the way honey tasted. “This is the world that I hope to recover.” The voice paused to let Ellana process the words. After a moment it continued, “Feel the magic, this is what was lost. I hope this is a comfort from the nightmares that plague your mind.”

Ellana had no idea what nightmares the voice was referring to. She also did not know what a veil was. This was how magic always felt. The music continued but the song changed to something hopeful and fast paced. Ellana felt the magic react to it and she felt like she was in a dream. 

A dream…Oh! Ellana suddenly gained consciousness. She stopped swaying and stood still, suddenly, she recognized the voice. Her heart surged and she tried to turn towards the voice a second time. “Vhenan?” Ellana abruptly said, reaching to grab him as she turned around. 

But when she turned, he was gone. Ellana stood in silence feeling unsure if he was ever really there.  Ellana felt dumbfounded and disappointed as the dream dissolved around her into hollow nothingness. For a moment, she stood like a statue with her hand outstretched. Taking a deep breath, she willed herself to wake up. 

***

Ellana woke clutching her chest with her prosthetic arm. She took deep breaths, willing her heartbeat to return to a normal rate. Was that a dream or…was that a memory. Was that actually Solas or her own subconscious. That was the first dream she had of him where it felt like she was not in her own dream. His voice sounded too real, and she had no memories of the place she dreamed of. 

This is Elvhenan, before the veil; this is the world that I hope to recover. That was what he said, but was that true? Solas had shown himself to be a liar. Was that an actual memory or what he wanted to remember to justify his “Din'anshiral.” Ellana shook her head thinking it was too early for these types of questions. Even so, what bothered Ellana the most was that he was still watching her dreams, and there was a possibility that he knew where she was.  

***

After saying goodbyes to Cassandra, Ellana met with Briala one final time. “Briala, I leave tomorrow. I’ve been more than fair, allowing you to use some of what is left of the Inquisition resources for our people,” Ellana all but begged the Elf that sat across from her. “Please be candid with me. I won’t hold anything against you, I just need answers.”

The two women sat in an ornate private room. The Emperor’s private study. Briala had been ruling by proxy for the better part of three and a half years now. Ellana and Briala had finally found a convenient time to be in the same place without it raising suspicion, and with the Emperor attending diplomatic relations elsewhere, it was the perfect time for the two of them to conduct business. “I will only be candid as long as you’re candid with me,” Briala said with her arms crossed over her chest. “And thus far the reasons you told me you need this information have been lies.”

“I told you the truth,” Ellana said. “Fen’Harel is real, and he wants to destroy the world. I want to stop him.”

“Yes, but my spies have a slightly different account of why…” Briala said.

Ellana looked at Briala, realizing that the woman wanted her to verbally admit to her romantic relationship with Solas as her primary motive, whether it was true or false. “Why do you need me to say it out loud if you already know the why?”

Briala shrugged, “Leverage in case you go back on your word.”

“Fine,” Ellana acquiesced, knowing Briala would never need to use her leverage against her. “I fell in love with Fen’Harel and want to stop him from destroying the world. And it has nothing to do with the possibility of a mass amount of lives lost, but because of my pride… Happy?”

“Absolutely,” Briala responded. “Now to business. The Dread Wolf stalks the shadows, and you want to know how he opens the door, yes?”

“Tell me what you know,” Ellana still tried to be straightforward even though she knew the reason Briala was engaging in wordplay. 

“He didn’t steal the keys out of the hands of the owner.  But he slipped in like smoke through a crack and I was the one who left the door open.”

“Ah yes, I am aware that you had the keys…”

“Yes. Before the Breach, there was…an elven mage,” she paused, a look of sadness crossed her face. It quickly dissolved, “He traveled with me for a time. Helped me uncover ruins, taught me the ancient scripts. Together, we found an Eluvian. We activated it together and I walked through. I was reclaiming something that had been stolen."

“Was it he who hunts alone?” Ellana said, trying to play the game. 

“He did hunt alone, but it was not him who you speak of,” Briala nodded towards Ellana, appreciative of her trying to follow her lead.

“Did this mage know the passkey?”

“No, he forbade me to tell him.”

“Then how did…” Ellana was growing frustrated with not getting the answers she wanted. 

“He may not have had the passkey itself but once a door is open, a skilled thief doesn’t need the keyring.”

“So, he may have heard a servant use the Eluvian at the Winter palace and then overrode the entire system…Morrigan did tell me it would take an obscene amount of power,” Ellana huffed. “And what about your access?”

“That’s why I agreed to meet, Inquisitor,” Briala answered. “I have all but lost access to my network. If you know someone who has access to another network, I beg you to allow my people to use it.”

“And risk our target getting access the same way he got access to yours?” Ellana asked, shocked.

“Consider it please,” Briala said as a servant walked into the room. The two women locked eyes at the intrusion. “One of mine…Excuse me,” Briala said as she stood and followed her servant out of the room.

Ellana sat and replayed the conversation in her head. Briala does not know how Solas managed to get her passkey, at least not really. It could have been that Solas had agents in Briala’s network as well. Ellana hoped Briala at least considered purging her ranks or maybe Briala was working with Solas herself. It is possible Briala just lied to her, but there is no way that Briala and Solas had common goals. Or could she be wrong?

No, that couldn’t be, Ellana thought to herself. Briala wanted to liberate the Elvhes in the alinages and empower them to succeed in the world they live in now. Solas wanted to destroy the world as they knew it and did not care if all the Elvhes died in the process. Yeah, there’s no way they’d work together, Ellana thought, shaking her head at herself but hoping that she was right. 

She also wondered who this mysterious mage of hers was. Briala said it was not Solas, so who could it be? It could have been another ancient elf, but then Briala would have mentioned it. Unless, she did not know that the ancient Elvhes still walked among them. This Elf knew the ancient language just like Solas did and helped her to activate an Eluvian. Hmm, Ellana thought to herself, wondering if Solas knew this Elf and if the Elf was one of his agents, and that Briala was just as ignorant to this. If not an agent though, Ellana hoped that this person was still alive and would be sympathetic to her cause, if she could find them.

***

The next morning, Ellana met Charter and Morrigan at the Eluvian, which was tucked in a forgotten storage room on the basement level of the Val Royeaux Palace. Morrigan opened the door for Ellana who did not know the proper spell to remove the ward from the room. The room was bare except for cleaning tools and crates. On the far back wall stood a small Eluvian.

Being that Morrigan was once the arcane advisor to Empress Celene, she had control of this Eluvian and thus Solas had been unable to secure it. Morrigan allowed Briala to use this Eluvian and a few of the others, but Morrigan was wise enough to have a couple different passkeys for her Eluvians, and she only gave Briala access to this one, the one in the Winter Palace and one that connected to an Eluvian in the Hinterlands. 

Unfortunately, Morrigan had not opened the ward guarding the room to Ellana, so even though Ellana had the passkey, she could not access the Eluvian on her own. As Ellana entered the room and Morrigan closed the door behind her, Ellana said, “To Tevinter then?”

“Yes, Dorian and I were able to move a smaller Eluvian into his estate in Miranthous, a task that was more encumbrance than I realized it would be, even with the help of Charter and Maevaris,” Morrigan complained from behind Ellana.

“Well, it took the better part of a year, so I can guess it was difficult,” Ellana said with sarcasm. “How are you doing?” Ellana asked Charter who leaned against the wall.

“I am well, let’s get going,” Charter said, keeping things short. 

Morrigan activated the Eluvian and the three women stepped through to the other side, with Morrigan deactivating it once they were through. They stepped out into a forested area that reminded Ellana of the Emerald Graves. “We will need to pass through one more Eluvian which will lead us to a Crossroads that holds the Eluvian to Skyhold, and there we will also find the Eluvian that connects us to Dorian’s,” Morrigan explained as she began to walk. Charter and Ellana followed close behind. 

“Are we in the Dales?” Ellana asked curiously.

“Yes, Inquisitor,” Morrigan responded. The three women continued to walk in silence, focusing on the hike through the foliage of the Dales. 

About an hour into their hike, Charter asked Morrigan, “You know I never asked you directly, but how is it that you have no trouble walking through the Crossroads? I assumed Ellana and I had no issues because we’re Elvhes and it was built by Elvhes.”

“The Well provides me with more than just wisdom and memories,” Morrigan answered. Charter waited a moment for Morrigan to give her more information, but none ever came.

“What about you, Inquisitor, anything new?” Charter asked, filling the silence.

“You really can call me Ellana…” Ellana said dryly. Charter looked at her as if she was going to ignore that particular suggestion. Ellana looked at the distance between the group and the treeline, looking for anything out of the ordinary or a danger. When she found nothing, she continued, “I have something I need to tell you both, I had a dream a few nights ago that concerned me.”

“More visitors?” Morrigan asked without turning towards Ellana.

“Yes, but I think it was Solas this time,” Ellana said, earning a halt from the two women. They both turned and looked towards Ellana. 

“What do you mean?” Morrigan asked.

“I mean, that I had a dream and in the dream I was visited by someone who I think was Solas.”

“He is a Dreamer, Morrigan, so he can access other people’s dreams,” Charter said, attempting to fill in the knowledge gap about Solas.

“Right, and this dream, can the Dread Wolf exploit this ability to hurt you?” Morrigan asked with her eyebrow raised.

“I don’t know, he just showed me why he was doing this, he didn’t seem interested in anything else. When I reached out towards him he disappeared and so did the dream,” Ellana shrugged. It had not occurred to her that Solas could or could be willing to hurt her through her dreams. She figured that if he wanted to kill her, he would have a year ago when they last saw each other. 

“That’s weird, maybe it's a one time thing or maybe we can exploit it,” Charter suggested. “Enter his dreams.”

“I think that’s a good way to end up dead,” Morrigan warned. “Ellana though, he clearly still yearns for your acceptance, maybe that can be exploited.”

“What makes you think that?” Ellana asked, her pride curious. 

“Why would he, unprompted, reach out to explain himself to you if not hoping for validation?” Morrigan asked. Ellana considered the words but not understanding why Solas would need her to validate his crusade. A year ago, she tried to join him, and he rejected her!

“Let us know if it happens again,” Charter instructed. 

The trio continued to walk, falling back into a comfortable silence. The silence continued for a while, until Charter heard a snap in the trees that seemed too heavy to be a small animal. Suddenly an arrow shot past Morrigan's face. Morrigan dodged the next arrow and tackled Ellana to the ground. Charter covered them both as Ellana formed a protective barrier around the three of them. Morrigan stood, allowing Ellana to stand. Together, they fortified the barrier with Charter taking the offensive. 

Four men dressed in clothing that would make them non-descript in the background of the forest made themselves known. One was using a bow and arrow and the other three were mages. “Venatori? Agents of Solasan? Mages…so definitely not Templars,” Charter said following the men with her arrow knocked.

“Whoever they are, they’ve made enemies of the Inquisitor,” Ellana said standing her ground. “I’m going to Fade-Step, when I do take the offensive position.”

Ellana Fade-Stepped behind the rogue, pulling her blades; she reappeared, slicing the head off her attacker from behind. The sudden movement caused one of the mages to turn, giving Charter the opportunity to shoot an arrow into his skull. The other two mages continued towards Morrigan, they shot at her with mana, which she blocked and froze their feet in place. This allowed Charter to place an arrow in the skull of one while the other broke free. Ellana, who also carried actual daggers with her, flung a throwing knife into the back of the remaining mage, who stumbled but did not fall. Then the mage did Fade-Step, out of sight of the three women.

“Shit, where’d he go?” Charter said turning in a full circle. The women maintained their guard for a few moments.

When nothing else happened, Ellana suggested, “Let’s go before they return with reinforcements.” The three women began to run with Morrigan leading the group. They ran at a dead sprint for a few minutes, then they decreased their pace after a few minutes more, all the while never stopping. 

“There it is right up ahead,” Morrigan motioned to a rock face covered in vines. As they approached the covered cave, they gave one last search of the area before ducking inside. At the back of the cave stood an Eluvian. “Quickly,” Morigian said. She murmured the passkey and allowed for Ellana and Charter to step through. Morrigan stepped through and deactivated the Eluvian.

The three women paused to take some breaths as they rested in a Crossroads. “How much further to the next Eluvian?” Ellana asked, taking long, deep breaths.

“Five minute walk,” Morrigan answered, stretching her arms. Once the women regulated their breathing, they continued onward to the final Eluvian. When they found it, Morrigan whispered the passkey, which was Dorian’s favorite Tevene curse, “ Vishante Kaffas ,”  and the three women stepped through. 

“Are we in a wine cellar?” Ellana asked, looking around.

“Well, there are not many places to place a giant mirror,” Ellana was greeted by Dorian who opened his arms wide. Ellana ran to hug her friend who she had not seen in a year. 

“Wow, you’re sweaty, did you all get into a fight?” Dorian complained when he let go of Ellana.

“We were ambushed in the Emerald Graves, either Venatori or Solasan Agents,” Charter answered.

“Welp, never a dull moment,” Dorian offered. The three of them followed Dorian through the cellar and up a staircase, which led to a large kitchen. The kitchen was full of staff, preparing food. Dorian called his former slaves his staff now that he paid them, after emancipating them. Many of the former slaves opted to stay as paid labor instead of leaving and risking capture and re-selling back into slavery or hoping to find work in the slums. 

The four of them entered Dorian's private study where Maevaris was waiting for them. “Ah, Inquisitor Lavellan,” she said, skipping towards the group and shaking Ellana’s hand. “It is such a pleasure to finally meet you. We have much to discuss about the Lucerni. But I think Dorian had some updates about his eventful life.”

“Ah yes, funny thing really, I was walking down the street three weeks ago, when Venatori forces ambushed me. I would have died... had not for this random mercenary band led by a Tal-Vashoth warrior. It was insane, I had no idea where they came from. But the mercenaries left a trail of freed slaves and dead Venatori in their wake, it was amazing really?” Dorian quickly recalled.

“Three weeks ago?” Ellana asked. “Dorian, what? Is that why I had to wait some more? Why did you not tell me?”

“I didn’t think it was important,” Dorian shrugged. Ellana looked at Maevaris who just shook her head. 

“And the mystery mercenaries?” Morrigan asked for clarification.

“Oh I don’t know, it’s not important,” Dorian said, waving his hand through the air. Ellana smiled, knowingly. The mystery group was definitely the Chargers. “Anyway about the Lucerni…it is creating quite the stir around Tevinter. But, I understand Charter has some pressing updates for us.”

“Thanks,” Charter thanked Dorian and then turned to address everyone. Dorian warded the room against intrusion and sound and then nodded to Charter to begin. 

“Wait, one thing at a time please,” Ellana said, losing track.

“These two things are related, trust me,” Charter reassured. “Tessa, along with some of our agents, and an ally who calls himself the Blue Wraith, stormed Castellum Tenebris, a fortress located near Neromenian here in Tevinter and the seat of House Danarius. We are dealing with Magisters, so the Lucerni have been helpful.”

“Castellum Tenebris? What put that place on our radar?” Ellana asked following the story.

“The Qunari had invaded Neromenian and believed there was a red lyrium ritual happening at this fortress,” Charter continued. “This Blue Wraith was a former slave of Magister Danarius and caught wind of our team being ‘coerced’ by the Qunari to stop the ritual involving a man named Shirallas. A lot of stuff happens, but the point is the ritual was stopped, our team escaped, and now the Qunari have control of Castellum Tenebris.”

“Seems like after the Qunari were pushed out of Orlais, they set their sights back on Tevinter. They’ve launched new attacks, capturing Ventus and Carastes,” Maevaris  added.

“Seems like you all have been very busy while I’ve been stuck in Val Royeaux,” Ellana pointed out while tapping her prosthetic finger in frustration. “I thought Tessa was in Kirkwall?”

“She was, I went back with Varric after the Exalted Council and found her,” Charter said, smiling to herself. “The place was littered with Venatori and red lyrium rumors.”

“Wow, they had a busy year too,” Ellana chuckled. “Ah, I see and then that’s how we all end up in Tevinter.”

“Yes, also,” Charter added. “Varric sends his regards and says to call on him whenever.”

“There have also been reports of a Qunari group, calling themselves the Antaam, launching attacks on Rivain and Antiva,” Morrigan reported. 

“Okay, then Maevaris, your Lucerni?” Ellana asked.

“Yes,” Maevaris began. “The Lucerni have been officially operating for a year now. It has attracted a dozen magisters, some of whom Dorian would describe as passionate against corruption.”

“But, inept at politics,” Dorian added.

“The biggest thing that has happened to the organization itself, was that House Invidus and House Qintara, attempted to form an alliance against us, but no alliance was forged,” Maevaris continued.

“Apparently Magister Qintara has been dead for years and they replaced him with an imposter,” Dorian said. 

“Wow, that’s um…” Ellana offered not knowing what to say. Ellana did not know what was weirder, people replacing their dead loved ones with random people or raising them as undead like in Nevarra. “Well, it seems like everyone is doing well then with their assignments.” Ellana paused for a moment, allowing the others to continue talking and catching her up. After each topic, they would ask Ellana what she thought they should do and Ellana would give her guidance.

After some time, Morrigan suggested that they break to eat, since neither she nor her traveling companions stopped for food. As the women began to file out, Ellana waved her hand to get Dorian’s attention. “I need to talk to you privately.”

 “What’s wrong my friend?” Dorian asked once the others had left.

“I’ve been having nightmares and have had trouble sleeping,” Ellana told Dorian. “I slept for the first time in two days two days ago and had a very concerning dream.”

“I have something that can help with sleep, but what makes this dream different from the other nightmares?” Dorian asked.

“Solas visited me,” Ellana watched for Dorian’s reaction. He gave none, she did not know what that meant.

When Ellana did not continue, Dorian gestured, “Yes, go on. Explain.”

“He pulled me into one of his memories and showed me Elvhenan. Explained that this was the world he hoped to recreate,” Ellana explained.

“Anything else happen?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?” Dorian asked. Ellana felt as if Dorian was suggesting that either her or Solas would take advantage of an opportunity such as that to do anything untoward. Ellana nodded her head frowning, “Don’t look at me like that…” Dorian sighed. “Ellana, I know you’ve done good things, some may even say great things, but don’t pretend that whenever you found yourself alone with Solas, you became…compromised.”

“Nothing happened, he just talked to me and then disappeared when I realized it wasn’t real,” Ellana said through gritted teeth, not wanting to admit Dorian was right. 

“Okay, well, if that really was him, he probably feels guilty and is seeking your validation to avoid confronting the possibility that he hurt you,” Dorian assessed.

“Oh…I thought that he might still have…feelings for me…and he hoped that by appearing justified, I might be open for reconciliation,” Ellana shrugged, not making eye contact due to fear of Dorian’s reaction.

Dorian looked at Ellana like she grew two heads. “ Reconciliation ? Are you joking Ellana? He stole your arm!” Ellana made a face, similar to that of a pained animal. Dorian saw the emotion and added compassionately, “I know the two of you shared a lot…Ellana you’re powerful, but he knew you were unknowingly vulnerable.” He took a deep breath. “You’re hoping it happens again…aren’t you?”

“I don’t know,” Ellana whispered, hugging her abdomen with both her arm and her prosthesis. “Solas believes what he is doing is right. I still love him but that doesn’t excuse his actions. If he reaches out again, I may be willing to use the tenuous connection to further our purposes.”

Ellana could tell from Dorian’s expression that he did not understand why she would still love him. “Well let me know if it does,” Dorian instructed. “Now, come on, let’s get something to help you sleep peacefully.”

***

“Do we think Castellum Tenebris held something that could be vital for Solas’ plans to tear down the veil?” Ellana asked the next morning while the group sat around a large wooden dining table, eating breakfast. Thanks to Dorian, Ellana had the best night sleep she has had in months and she was feeling refreshed and her mind was finally clear. 

“Multiple groups found interest in the fortress, but, my intel says whatever initially attracted the blood mages there, is no longer present,” Charter continued. “I suspect someone stole it during the altercation.”  

“Who do you think took it?” Ellana asked between spoonfuls.

“No idea,” Charter answered, frustrated with the lack of certainty. “I have some people trying to figure that out, and that brings me to my next bit of information.” Ellana looked at Charter, waiting. “I will need to leave for a week or two and then meet back up with you here.” Ellana looked at Charter, but then understood, she needed to see this through.

“Thank you for your work, Charter,” Ellana thanked her Spymaster, nodding in approval. “Okay, Dorian, Morrigan tell me about this ruin and the magic.”

“Yes, Inquisitor.” Morrigan began. “There is a sizable Elvhen ruin beneath Old Minrathous that has recently become active, we believe it to be Solasan agents or Venatori responsible.”

“Our allies believe that ruin may house a forgotten fragment of Elvhen magic,” Dorian finished. “Elvhes in the area were seen excavating these ruins.”

“Solas hates slavery, so it must be Venatori,” Ellana said, crossing her arms, listening. “I don’t think I should walk the streets of Minrathous as myself. I will use my glamour.”

“Oh my, it’s been so long since I got to see it,” Dorian teased.

“Glamour?” Maevaris questioned. 

Ellana smiled and showed her the glamour she had constructed during her time in the Inquisition. “Do you think the Vallaslin will cause a fuss?”

“No, they’ll just assume you were kidnapped,” Dorian dismissed. Ellana ignored the nauseous feeling that the comment caused within her.

***

For Ellana, Minrathous was a city where power and history intertwined in ways that made her uneasy. Ellana was an Elf in a city dominated by centuries of oppression, Ellana felt the weight of being an outsider. Scanning the streets, she saw many of her fellow Elvhes, bound by their necks with collars, the symbols of their masters branded to their faces. Masters, who trailed not too far ahead. But, where Ellana felt the weight of vicarious subjugation, she also felt the weight of purpose. 

The building’s spires reached the sky, casting shadows over the streets. The air was thick with the scent of incense and burning candles. It was a place where the old ways were venerated, where power was a commodity, and where the weight of a thousand years of rule pressed down on anyone who walked the streets. The stone felt cold through her boots and she could feel the emotional coldness of the inhabitants chilling her body.

As they investigated, Dorian told Ellana of the whispers concerning the shadows of secrets. The city had eyes and ears everywhere. Her movements had to be careful, deliberate. Ellana, with her glamour active, moved swiftly through crowds. With her cloak drawn tight around her, hiding her ears, she did her best to blend in with the city’s inhabitants. The long black hair of the glamour had been cut in the front so that the bangs were thicker and could hide the Vallaslin that marked the forehead. 

Dorian led Ellana to a crumbling structure at the end of a narrow alleyway in the Old District. When they approached the structure, Ellana noticed a difference in the air and the streets were quieter.  The doors had long since rotted, and the windows were little more than jagged shards of glass. There was no sign of life here, no guards to watch over the place. It was the perfect location for what she needed to find.

The door creaked as she pushed it open, stepping inside. The air was stale, and dust swirled in the dim light that filtered through cracks in the stone. They moved through the room, Ellana’s eyes scanning every corner.

At the center of the room, an ancient altar stood, covered in dust. The stone was worn, its carvings faded with age. Ellana could feel the magic radiating from the altar. Her fingers brushed across the surface, tracing the lines of the symbols carved into the stone. The symbols were Elvhen, though the script was older than any she had seen before. 

"Looking for something?" a ghostly voice broke the silence. The pair turned around, Ellana’s hand instinctively reached for the dagger at her back. Neither her nor Dorian had heard anyone approach. Standing in the doorway was a figure cloaked in dark robes, their face obscured by a hood. Ellana felt unsettled as she gazed upon the creature.

“I could ask you the same question,” Dorian replied, his voice a warning.

The tension in the room thickened as the figure stepped forward, the presence commanding. Ellana did not recognize this thing , from what she could barely see of its face. The voice, however, was feminine. “This place is my business, as it is yours. The things you seek have not been disturbed for centuries.”

Ellana narrowed her eyes. “We’re not interested in power,” she said, her grip tightening on her dagger. “We only seek truth.” The figure stepped closer, and Ellana could feel the weight of its gaze even though she could not see the eyes.

“Truth is a dangerous thing, especially here. What you seek is buried beneath layers of deception and blood. You think you can uncover it, but you may not like what you find.”

Ellana refused to look away. “I’ve already lost everything. What’s one more truth?”

The figure tilted at the place a head would be, as though pondering Ellana’s words. “Perhaps,” they said softly. “But truths that are paid for with suffering. What do you offer, I wonder?”

The figure turned and began to float away, its cloak swirling around them like a shadow. Ellana hesitated for a moment, watching it go. After a moment, she turned back to the altar. 

“Who was that?” Dorian said with his hands on his hips watching where the figure once was.

“No idea, but that could explain why no one was around. I’d leave if I saw that coming my way and I wasn’t used to dealing with things like that,” Ellana laughed, studying the altar and feeling the magic in the air.

“Some type of guardian perhaps or a ward to deter nosy people,” Dorian reasoned, shrugging. “I fear what would have happened if the presence did not approve of our presence.”

“We’d probably be dead,” Ellana concluded. She continued to run her fingers over the lines in the stone. She glided her fingers along a sigil that responded to the rune in her prosthetic, taking that as a sign, she pushed a bit of mana into the sigil. The sigil activates, releasing a mechanism that opens the stone, revealing that it was a box. In the stone was another large rune that Ellana reached for. When she pulled it out, she heard something unlatching, causing her and Dorian to freeze. Dorian stayed on guard as Ellana looked at the rune, seeing that it was etched with instructions. “Let’s go,” Ellana instructed Dorian.

As Ellana and Dorian exited the edifice they saw from behind a wall a female Elf watching them. When the Elf realized they noticed her, she ran. Dorian and Ellana looked at each other, nodded and ran after the Elf. They ran after her for a few minutes, until the Elf ducked into a wall. They stopped at the wall, realizing that the space the Elf disappeared into suddenly was gone. 

“You’re joking,” Ellana said, smacking her prosthetic hand into the solid stone.

“That’s some advance use of magic,” Dorian said, sounding impressed.

***

Dorian, Ellana, and Morrigan sat around the table in Dorian’s estate looking at the rune they had found. Maevaris had returned to her duties at her estate before Dorian and Ellana returned. The rune was large, almost a stone tablet, with ancient Elvhen script written on the front and back. “I can attempt to translate it,” Morrigan offered. “But it will take a while because I have to convince the Well to give me the information, while at the same time sorting through the memories.”

“We have time, the two of you can stay here while you work,” Dorian offered.

“Thank you for the offer,” Morrigan thanked. “But I may come and go from the Crossroad as being there helps me meditate on the Well. The memories seem more…cooperative there.”

“Thank you, Morrigan, for being willing,” Ellana added.

Later that evening, Ellana and Dorian sat for dinner alone. He had dismissed his staff for the evening and it provided Ellana and him an opportunity to formally catch up.

“Did you have any more visitors last night?” Dorian asked after a few moments of eating.

“No, the tonic helped,” Ellana said. “I appreciate your help Dorian.”

“Like I said three years ago, you are my best and only friend, Ellana,” Dorian reiterated. “I would not want to watch you suffer needlessly.” Ellana smiled at his words. “So, how was your sabbatical in Orlais?”

“Cassandra and I spent a lot of time together, sorting through what information she wanted to take with her and what information she wanted destroyed,” Ellana explained. “I will miss her. I hope I will be able to see her in the near future. I don’t want a decade to pass before I have the chance to visit.”

“Maybe we could visit together, whenever you can get away,” Dorian offered.

“How has becoming magister been and how is your mother?”

“My mother is continuously drunk, I’m actually surprised you haven’t run into her,” Dorian chuckled. “She is planning to move to the countryside, she says this place makes her depressed.”

“I see.”

“I always thought it was my father making everything depressing. But, what do I know?” Dorian shrugged. “As for magister, I never wanted to be one, but since I am, I’m glad to have been able to use my position to help others. Odd.”

“What’s odd?”

“Never thought I would be helping people less fortunate and liking it,” Dorian reflected. “Knowing you has completely changed me, and I thank you for it.”

“We will see how much you thank me when we get that rune translated and see where it leads,” Ellana concluded laughing.

Chapter Text

Story Two

Cloudreach , 9:46 Dragon: The last few months had been really busy for Dorian and Ellana in Minrathous. Once Morrigan finished translating the rune, the group realized that it was only instructions to the actual ruin. Together, Ellana and Dorina traversed the catacombs, battling darkspawn and Ventatori, until they uncovered a sealed chamber. Hidden within the old Elvhen ruins was a chamber commandeered by Ventatori blood mages. 

After making quick work of the occupants, the duo found red lyrium-infused artifacts that were, according to the scattered notes, altered in a way that allowed the user full control of the artifact’s magic. Ellana continued her search, meticulously reading through the documents. After a while, she found something she did not expect, a cipher. But, not just any cipher, a cipher she recognized from the Inquisition. “Dorian!” she called slightly confused. “Come here.”

Dorian jogged over to where she stood, looking over her shoulder at the cipher. “That’s one of ours,” he said in disbelief.

“Yup, give me a moment,” Ellana grabbed a pencil from the desk and translated the cipher from what she remembered of Leliana’s code. 

“So..?” Dorian asked after she finished.

She gave the note a long read. It was documents referring to a mage-templar liaison named Seradis Venn. “Seradis Venn…” Ellana thought out loud. “She was a liaison who helped with soothing relations between the mages and Templars that served the Inquisition.” She paused to think, “Now that I think about it, I don’t remember seeing her around much after Corypheus died.”

“Okay, what else?” Dorian asked impatiently.

“It says that the Venatori wanted to find her because she was rumored to be working on ways to stabilize lyrium-addicted minds using Elvhen magic. It also mentions that…no.”

“What?” 

“That Templar Rutherford may know something about her whereabouts,” Ellana felt her heart drop and felt herself losing her breath. 

“Ellana, breathe, this doesn’t mean that Cullen betrayed us…you,” Dorian said but she did not hear. Ellana began to shake and she could feel herself getting very warm. She confided so deeply in Cullen, if he betrayed her…she would kill him. “Ellana!” Dorian yelled, this time shaking Ellana by the shoulders, bringing her back to the present.

“Sorry, I…” Ellana said, looking away. 

“You need to get to Ferelden,” Dorian said definitively. 

***

Ellana made the journey to the Ferelden, mostly feeling like someone shot an arrow through her, emotionally. Morrigan was kind enough to guide her through the Eluvian network to the Hinterlands. There, she was handed off to Charter, who led her to the sanctuary. 

The sanctuary was in a remote area of the Hinterlands, and had become the place where Cullen now oversaw a healing refuge for former Templars struggling with lyrium addiction. As Ellana entered the sanctuary, she thought the place looked purely functional yet peaceful. She walked through the front courtyard, towards the entrance, and saw that they were using the land for farming, with vegetables and herbs growing abundantly.The ex-templars tilled the soil, while Ellana felt magical wards keeping unwanted guests away.

As Charter and Ellana approached the front gate, they were met by Cullen. Ellana had not seen Cullen in two-ish years, and compared to how he looked then, he looked rested. No longer did he sport his armor, now he opted for a linen shirt and trousers, something loose and practical. His hair was blonder, from being out under the sun and curlier. She thought he looked really good, which made her smile. He approached the two women with a big smile and his arms opened into a hug. “Charter, Ellana, welcome!” he said when he got close enough. He gave them both a big hug. He turned slightly towards Ellana, “When Charter sent a letter announcing you were going to visit, I was honestly surprised. But, I am so excited you’re here.” He paused for a moment and then said, “Let’s go inside, then you can tell me why you’ve come.”

“Is the complement of your company not enough reason?” Ellana said in return. Then realizing how flirty it sounded, she looked away. 

“Not usually, no,” Cullen humorously answered. The three of them walked through the rest of the sanctuary. The inner courtyard was filled with trees, some that bore fruit. Some templars sat reading, while others meditated, and many were talking amongst each other. As they walked, Cullen talked some about the status of the place. “So, this is the courtyard, my vision was that it would be a big garden similar to the one at Skyhold, and be a place for meditation, relaxation, and prayer.” Ellana nodded realizing how since disbanding the Inquisition, her prayer practice had also suffered. Not just since disbanding, since finding out her “gods” were just glorified mages and she was able seduce one of said mages.

They continued onward and went inside the stone keep. When they got inside, Cullen said, “the first floor is for indoor recreation. We primarily use it as classrooms for those interested in formal education or chantry teaching. It may be surprising, but many wish to return to Chantry service. This floor also holds a small infirmary and rooms for the staff. The second floor holds the formal dormitories for the more-functional and the third floor are dormitories for the less-functional.” They walked to the back of the keep and into an office. “And this is my office,” Cullen said walking towards a chair that sat behind a desk.

The room resembles his old office in Skyhold. Off to the side of the main desk were two smaller desks. “You have secretaires?” Ellana asked, motioning to the desks.

“I share an office with two of my lead healers,” he answered. “One is a mage and the other is not. The mage healer in particular triggers some of the lesser lucid templars, so I allow them both to have their desks here.”

Ellana nodded and took a seat at one of the two chairs in front of Cullen’s desk. “So, the reason I’m here…” Ellana began. “I found this.” She put on the table a lyrium artifact. Causing Cullen to sit back into his chair, wanting to be far from it. His face turned serious, but there was anger in his eyes. Ellana continued, “Do you know a woman named Seradis Venn? She was a mage-Templar liaison for the Inquisition.”

Cullen stared at the lyrium and then up at Ellana. He covered his nose and mouth, however his eyes bore into her. He recognized the name. 

“Yes,” he said, causing her heart to drop. “She had some controversial theories of using Eluvian-aligned magic to cleanse the mind from the effects of lyrium, specifically, red lyrium. We had consulted about it on more than one occasion, given my dreams of opening the sanctuary. The use of magic in such a way terrified me, honestly, so I turned her away. When things started breaking a part, she stole forbidden research, stuff about Samson, and vanished.” Cullen looked nervous at the look Ellana was giving him.

“Why did you bury the records, Cullen?” Ellana tried to maintain her composure.

“I did not..to prevent a manhunt,” Cullen conceded, taking a breath. “I thought her ideas were valuable, even if I was too much of a coward to take use of them.”

“Ellana was ready to skin you alive, Cullen,” Charter chuckled, breaking the tension. 

Ellana felt a little better that Cullen did not maliciously hurt her. But his intentions did not change the results. “Well, she has been working with Venatori.” 

Charter took over, Ellana let her. “We found documents indicating that they know, you know what happened to her. We suspect that there is someone staying here who has been in contact with her, if you’re not in contact with her yourself.”

“What?” Cullen said, exacerbated. “I am not in contact with her, no. One of my Templars?” Cullen made eye contact with Ellana briefly and then looked away. 

“I know it's painful Cullen,” Ellana offered. “To get close to people, feel like you're helping them, and then they betray you. But, if there are any who have been sending letters in and out, maybe one of the more lucid ones, would we be able to talk to them?”

“Yes, there are two, who receive mail almost weekly, I will have them meet with us in one of the group rooms,” Cullen said looking at his hands.

Cullen had two Templars meet with the three of them, later that afternoon. The two male Templars sat, uncomfortable in their chairs, as the three interrogators stood over them. Ellana began, “Do either of you know who I am?”

“Yes, you're the Inquisitor,” the male of the left said. “I served in the Inquisition.” 

Ellana nodded, “And, what’s your name?”

“Amund, your Holiness,” Amund said, bowing his head.

“Amund and who?”

“Ceoric,” the male on the right answered.

“Okay, Amund and Ceoric, I understand that both of you have been receiving mail in and out on a schedule that is more frequent than other Templars,” Ellana continued. “I am going to ask this once, and if you lie, I will kill you.”

“Inquisitor,” Cullen begged. Ellana shot him a very dirty look, causing him to stand straight and retreat. 

The two men saw Ellana’s face and they looked at her in fear. “As I was saying, does the name: Seradis Venn sound familiar to either one of you?” Ellana asked. The reactions of both men were different. Amund began cowering; while Ceoric began reassuring that he had never met anyone with that name. Ellana focused on Amund. “ I expect more from my Inquisition…How do you know Seradis, Amund?”

“We…we are in love, Inquisitor,” he said.

“Ceoric, you're dismissed,” Cullen said looking at the man as if apologizing. Ceoric ran out.

Amund continued, “We met serving the Inquisition. I never thought it would work out because of my lyrium addiction, but she wanted to help, and began trying to help me. That’s when she started looking into lyrium. She says she is close to a breakthrough. She plans to come here and help me and others. Then we will be together.” Ellana looked towards Charter who shrugged.

Charter spoke next, “Do you know she is working with Venatori blood mages in Tevinter?”

“Blood mages, no, she knows blood mages are not good…”Amund began shaking his head trying to disprove the possibility in his head. “She isn’t even from Tevinter and she’s an Elf. Why would she go anywhere near Tevinter?” Ellana looked at Cullen, who held a face of pure devastation, both for his men and for the danger they all might be facing. 

Ellana chimed back in, “What do you know about her research, Amund?”

“She works with Eluvians…” 

Ah, that’s why the Venatori want her, Ellana thought to herself. She may not be working with Venatori, but does that mean she works with…

“Red lyrium and Eluvians…” Ellana heard Cullen mutter to himself, contemplating. “Send some guards in here.” Cullen called into the hall. A guard, not another Templar, came in and stood at attention. “Take Amund to his room and keep him under surveillance. Let no one in or out.” The guard led Amund out, Ellana watched.

“What are you thinking, Cullen?” Ellana asked with an eyebrow cocked.

“I had a Templar placed into a higher level of care after he started having nightmares about red lyrium and rambling about ‘The Mirror of Burning Songs,’” Cullen answered. “An Eluvian, of course!” Ellana and Charter looked at him confused. “Sorry, let me backup. A couple guards went searching for this Templar a few weeks ago and found him in a cave, not too far from here. Ever since he had been having nightmares and his health is declining. Not even our mage healer is able to help.”

“Take us to him,” Ellana commanded.

Cullen led Ellana and Charter to the Templar on the third floor of the keep. He was bed bound and sleeping. He sweated profusely and his cheeks were bright red. Healers moved around him, trying to keep him comfortable. “Everyone please leave,” Cullen instructed towards the healers.

Ellana approached the bed and activated her magic over the man. As she did, a vision swam over her. In the vision, a woman’s voice rang over her speaking in Elvhen, giving her the passkey that gave her access to the Fen'Harel sanctuary two years prior. As the woman spoke, Ellana saw an Eluvian and shadows moving on the other side of the mirror. On the Eluvian there was the same crescent-hound sigil, which she recognized as being used by Fen'Harel agents. The voice in Elvhen 

The vision ended and Ellana came back to reality. “I know where to go,” Ellana said, gasping for air. She immediately stood tall despite the others trying to support her. Ellana bolted towards the exit. 

“Where are you going?” Cullen yelled after her, a tone of concern in his voice.

“I know where to go, get some of your men, follow me,” Ellana said with surety in her voice.

“Alright, just give me 15 minutes,” Cullen bargained, turning into another direction. 

Some time later the guardsmen were ready and Ellana led them all to the cave she saw in her vision. The cave mouth was open wide, and nothing obstructed it from view. Inside the cave was dark, but it clearly held Elvhen ruins swallowed by plant life. But what was fascinating about the ruin was that it was built on top of an older Dwarven ruin. Ellana stepped carefully, her nose was thick with the scent of rotting foliage, wet stone, and magic.

“There, behind the ivy,” Charter pointed beside her. Ellana looked towards the Eluvian; her expression was grim. It wasn’t a full mirror, it was cracked, and half-buried. The Eluvian flickered randomly, not activated or inactivated, and it pulsed a pale lavender light with a red glint in the middle.

“Hmm,” Ellana murmured. “It’s broken and inactive…but it’s still working.” The surface shimmered with moving shadows. Ellana heard the faint whisper of a  woman’s voice in ancient Elvhen. And beneath the voice, was a familiar and tainted thrumming.

“Red lyrium,” she whispered. “It’s inside the mirror.” Charter knelt beside the stone and unwrapped a canvas bundle. Inside were scrawled notes, pages torn from a Chantry book, and sketches of an Eluvian.

“The templar,” Cullen said quietly. “The guards said that after they found him, he had woken up screaming, rambling about songs, and tried to claw out one of his eyes.”

Ellana nodded slowly. “The Eluvian must have projected information into his mind.” She started again at the Eluvian fragment, the way it pulsed in rhythm with something beyond. Ellana stood in silence as the others busied themselves cataloging the site. Charter gave quiet orders to the guards, her tone crisp and professional. Ellana was focused on the Eluvians, whose whispering had not ceased. The whispers seemed soft almost, pleading.

She ran her fingers near the glass. The red lyrium pulse was subtle. “It’s projecting through the Fade. I think whoever is on the other side is monitoring and reaching out,” Ellana called to Charter.

“Then we destroy it.” Charter said as if her words were final. “We can’t risk another breach opening up. And If red lyrium is contaminating the network, Solas isn’t the only danger anymore.”

Ellana didn’t answer immediately. “If we destroy it,” Ellana said slowly, “we lose our only chance to follow it back.” Ellana paused for a moment considering if destroying this lead was better than leaving it open. Ellana turned back to the mirror one last time. She saw her reflection, but something still lingered behind it. “I’m not afraid of what’s behind the mirror,” she whispered, “But you’re right, we can’t allow it through.” With that, she destroyed the Eluvian.

The walk back was tense. Both Charter and Cullen could feel Ellana’s contemplative yet soured mood. The two allowed Ellana to contemplate in silence, until she chose to break it. “So…Seradis Venn,” Ellana began. “Could be working with Solas, or she could be working for another third party. The Ventari clearly want her, but Amund maintained that she would never work with them. But honestly, who knows, it wouldn't be the first time someone’s partner lied and abandoned them…”

“We have a good place to start,” Charter said, reinforcing their win.

***

Late that evening, Ellana sat in her assigned quarters alone maintaining the integrity of her prosthetic arm. She wore a simple nightgown and had her hair braided into two small buns at the top of her head. Maintaining her prosthesis with one hand was a challenge in that it took a while, but she made it a sort of meditation that began with removing and recharging the rune, and then moving to maintain the metal itself. 

Ellana thought to herself about the events of the day. She was happy that they were able to find answers so quickly, however, they had yet to find the location of Seradis Venn. When the group returned, Cullen had the ex-Templar interrogated, which did not take much effort, as he was more than willing to give information. 

Amund had felt like he betrayed his fellow Templar with the possibility that he was ever intimate with a blood mage. He also felt that he betrayed himself. Ellana could not bring herself to feel empathy for the man. She reasoned she had become hardened over the years and wondered if she was losing a part of herself. 

In the previous five years, Ellana had lost her family, her lover, her child, her organization, and to some extent her friends. With so much loss, she wondered how she could ever rebuild a normal life. When Ellana would think about these things, her mind had the habit of turning towards thoughts of Solas. Yearning for him…She was lost in the habit of the task and her mind when she heard a knock at the door. 

“Ellana are you still awake?” It was Cullen’s voice, which surprised Ellana. Ellana walked to her door and opened it slightly, hiding her armless side, behind the door. “Hey, it’s been a tough day…I was wondering if you wanted some company.”

Ellana looked behind her, and then up at him. Cullen held two glasses and a bottle of wine. He had a big smile on his face. Ellana felt nervous about letting him in but even so, she said, “Sure.” Ellana opened the door wider, to let him in, closing it behind him. 

Ellana was suddenly aware that she was only in a nightgown and had left her prosthetist on the table. Cullen sat down at said table and looked at the prosthetic arm. Ellana walked to her bag and pulled out her scarf, covering her shoulders and breasts from view and walked over to the table, sitting beside him. 

“Dagna did a beautiful job on that,” Cullen said motioning towards the arm. Ellana looked away from the arm as Cullen poured them both a glass of wine. 

“Thank you,” Ellana said, grabbing a glass and taking a sip. “I am sorry that this mess has ventured into your sanctuary.” Ellana paused for a moment and then said, “I want to apologize for accusing you, Cullen, you had done nothing worth the fury I projected onto you.”

“Ellana, with your history, I am not surprised you’re upset with the possibility of another close friend hurting you,” Cullen said.

“No excuse, you didn’t hurt me,” Ellana said, holding her side with her hand. “How have you been?”

“I have been well, I visited my family for a month, while this place was built up,” Cullen said, taking a sip from his glass. “Took three months to get word out and then Templars started showing up in droves. Many who have been battling addiction past their retirement, and some who realized they couldn’t handle the ‘lyrium leash.’ There is a Templar here as old as 60 and one as young as 20.” Ellana smiled at how Cullen’s eyes lit up when he talked about his sanctuary. “I can talk all night about this, how have you been?”

“In Tevinter…it’s awful honestly, the only thing that keeps me sane is Dorian,” Ellana answered honestly. “I am glad to be away from the place. Though I thought it would feel good, stumbling onto a breakthrough, a bit closer to finding him.”

“You’re still hunting down Solas?”

“It’s one of my goals…I have a few,” Ellana felt ashamed to admit that Solas was still one of her goals.

“Hmm,” Cullen hummed while taking a sip from his glass. 

“What was that for?” Ellana asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” Cullen answered. “I’m just thinking. Since retiring I feel like a weight has been removed from my shoulders. It doesn’t seem like you can say the same.”

“No, I guess not,” she agreed. “I feel responsible that my organization has produced a threat even greater than Corypheus and it was literally under my nose the entire time. I feel like a failure, sometimes.”

“You were not responsible for who joined the Inquisition, not really, there were plenty of people who tried to sign up and were rejected,” Cullen said, trying to lighten her mood. 

“Cullen…” she begged looking at him. She did not want to hear him try to explain how it was not her fault that she could not tell her own partner was lying to her. It was her fault and people died for it. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll stop,” he apologized, leaning back into his chair. Cullen offered her a small smile and she tried to give a convincing smile in return. 

“Have you talked to any of your colleagues since you retired?” she asked, taking a sip from her glass.

“Yes, Josephine sent me a letter, but I have yet to respond. Varric sent me a letter letting me know that he has not forgotten about the debt I owe him. I also got a letter from Cole, explaining in inappropriate amounts of detail how happy he is with being a human male,” he chuckled. “Have you?”

“I get correspondence here and there,” Ellana answered. “I live with Dorian now. And I regularly see Charter and Morrigan. I've been in regular correspondence with Cassandra and Josie.”

“I’ve heard that Cassandra is rebuilding the Seekers?”

“She is working out in the Hunterhorn Mountains,” she answered.

“Wow, that's amazing,” he praised. “Did you hear about all the good things Thom has been up to? He is really helping others, he even referred some people to the sanctuary.”

“He has really turned things around, I knew if given the chance, he would really prove himself a good man,” Ellana praised, nodding to herself.

“I don’t think I would have given him the grace you did,” Cullen reflected. “You’re a really good woman Ellana.”

“Thanks,” Ellana blushed, even though she herself did not believe it. “It seems that everyone is moving on except me, who just continues to chase…The never ending list of things that come up seem like it will never end,” she complained.

Cullen’s eyes felt like they were boring into her, his jaw tight. “You don’t believe that it ever will.”

“No,” her voice soften at the word. “I feel like a new question has been lodged into the space the old question was.” Cullen did not respond to Ellana immediately. Ellana, feeling nervous, took a sip from her glass. He watched her as both a friend and as someone trying to see past the mask she learned to wear. When he did not speak, Ellana sighed. “Every time I think I’ve gotten to the end of the tunnel, there’s another mystery to solve. It feels like I am a character in a story that everyone knows but me.”

Cullen took another sip from his glass. “You aren’t a character in someone else’s story, Ellana,” he encouraged, his voice low. “You’ve made it yours.”

“I barely know who I am anymore.” Ellana grabbed at the stem of her wine glass, swishing the contents within it. 

“You’re still you,” Cullen said. Ellana looked up at his eyes, unintentionally shifting her body slightly closer to his. She could see the compassion in them. It made her feel…she did not know. There was a silence between the two, a silence that invited more questions than answers. She felt something new pass through her as she watched the face of her Commander. She felt herself blush at the emotion, she felt seen, for the first time in a long while. 

Ellana did not realize how close he was until their lips met. He did not pull her close and neither did she. They sat and kissed, he holding her one hand with both of his. It felt good, warm, and he smelled nice. Ellana did not pull away, she used her tongue to ask for entrance and he allowed her in. 

After a long moment, they broke the kiss. Cullen leaned his head forward slightly, and rested his forehead against hers. In that small space, nothing demanded them to be anything more than who they were. Cullen let go of her hand and she used her fingers to trail along the side of his jaw. He leaned into the touch, eyes closed, and took a deep breath. “Cullen,” Ellana all but whispered, the years of friendship audible in the tone of her voice. A part of Ellana was scared that if they continued, they would end up throwing away those years.

“Maker, my name sounds so good in your mouth,” he responded. 

He held her gaze, silently, and Ellana said his name once more. This was not love, at least not like the love she and Solas shared. Not exactly friendship either. After this, it would be impossible to return to what they once had. But, Ellana could make this night about remembering who they were beneath the scars and titles. And for tonight, that needed to be enough. 

Ellana wanted to feel like a person again, wanted to feel the pleasure of personhood. She had not been intimate with anyone in almost four years and it was evident in the way she kissed Cullen. It was hot, and needy. She wanted to be inside his mouth. But, he was owed the truth. “Cullen, if we do this…it doesn’t mean we can be together.”

For a moment he looked disappointed, but then he looked as if he understood. “I realize, you live across a continent…and I think you’re still in love.” He kissed her again slower than before, “But, when was the last time either of us allowed ourselves to feel good, especially with another?”

Ellana looked down, considering. “Promise it won’t ruin our friendship, I cannot lose another friend.”

“I promise.” He picked her up, actually lifted her off the ground and carried her to the bed, dropping her onto her back. Ellana glanced at her prosthesis, wondering if having sex with one arm would turn Cullen off. He saw what she was looking at and said, “Our scars make us who we are, you need not hide yours.”

Ellana knew she loved Cullen, but she also knew she was not in love with him. She wished she was, but she was unwilling to pretend. Not when deep down she still went to sleep every night hoping her one visit from Solas turned into two. 

Despite her reservations, Cullen and Ellana had sex that night. And in the moment, it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders. The two had breakfast together the next morning. Quiet giggles passed between one another. Charter gave Ellana a sideways glance, not quite knowing what transpired between the two. 

As they prepared to return to the crossroads and onto Tevinter, Ellana felt a pang in her chest. She realized that she would miss Cullen, and their shared night would follow her. When they were saying their goodbyes, Cullen stopped her and pulled her aside, “I hope last night won’t be forgotten too quickly,” he chuckled unsure. “I wanted to say thank you, for um, ‘assisting’ me in more ways than one. If you ever need me, I will be there Ellana. Never forget that.” She thought about kissing him, but she chose against it. Kissing him would do neither of them any good, especially since the night did nothing but make her yearning for her lost love stronger. 

Either way, she hoped the night meant for Cullen as much as it meant to her. “Hey, Cullen,” Ellana said one last time as he started to walk away. “Remember Josephine, she returned to Antiva. I think you should write to her, the two of you got along so well. And, I think the two of you might find you have other things in common outside of the looming threat that the Inquisition casted over you both.”

“Wow, that’s…” Cullen paused for a minute thinking. “That’s a good idea. I will, thank you.” He turned away and walked back into the sanctuary. 

Ellana walked over to Charter who was waiting for her. “What was that about?” she asked Ellana.

“Nothing, let’s go.” 

The two women walked in silence for about an hour until they came across a dilapidated shack that they could rest for a few minutes. Charter took the opportunity to plan the next coming days with Ellana who listened intently and responded in kind. The two women decided they would finish the half-days journey to the Hinterland Eluvian and then travel into the Crossroads. From there they would return to Dorian’s estate. 

***

The return was uneventful, since the end of the Mage-Templar war, the Hinterlands had become a relatively safe place. The two women returned to find Dorian had accompanied his mother to the location she had planned to move to. Once Ellana was settled, Charter asked, “Do you want me to stay the night with you?”

“Where did you plan to go?” 

“Reconnaissance, Inquisitor,” Charter answered slyly. “You get a good night's sleep and I will return tomorrow. I will try to find Morrigan in the interim.”

Ellana nodded. Charter said her goodbyes and let Ellana alone in the room Dorian assigned to her. A few moments after Charter left, a knock was at the door. Ellana opened it to find one of Dorian’s staff asking if she wanted dinner. She said yes and after the dinner was delivered, she closed and locked the door behind the staff member.

Ellana ate in silence. She was reflecting on the previous night, how she let her feelings get ahead of her better judgement. Sure, she could have initiated something akin to a relationship with Cullen, but they lived across a continent from each other, and Cullen deserved more than a woman who was still in love with a man who cut her arm off and left her to cry in the mud. A woman who got pregnant by the same man who left her crying in the mud more than once. 

She was lost in her shame spiral when she heard her sending crystal vibrating within the desk. Activating it she heard Dorian’s voice on the other end, “Ellana, good your finally back.”

“Good evening to you too Dorian,” Ellana greeted flatly.

“Yes, guess who I ran into?”

“Who?” Ellana took a bite of her food.

“Remember Briala?” Dorian asked. “So, an agent of hers and I ‘ran into each other’ which I obviously don’t believe to be coincidence. But, Briala says she needs to meet. Can you get to Cumberland?”

“In Nevarra?” 

“Yes, that’s where she wants to meet, things are heating up between her and Gaspard, so she thought it would be best to get out of the country for a bit and be in Cumberland.”

“When you get back, we can go together, sure.”

“Okay, good, I will be back in two days,” Dorian said and then deactivated the sending crystal from his end. Ellana deactivated it from her end and then threw it back into the drawer. Ellana took a deep breath, wondering how many different people were following her and her company.

She decided that was a conversation for a different day. But to be sure, Ellana warded her room against intruders, so that while she slept she would know that no one would be physically breaking in. After finishing her meal, she undressed and prepared for bed. 

***

Ellana’s back was turned but she could feel it behind her. She was in her bedroom at Skyhold watching the fire in the fireplace roar. “I can feel you there…come out of hiding,” Ellana commanded the presence. At this point, Ellana was used to being watched in her dreams. The question about who or what it was, was what remained.

Ellana turned and to her surprise was Solas. She stepped back, almost falling into the flames. But the moment she tripped, the dream changed. Instead of falling into flames, she fell against a desk. She looked around and saw that they were now in the Skyhold rotunda. Solas stood with his back to her, analyzing his frescos, his arms crossed behind his back. 

Solas turned towards her, as real as if he was standing in front of her in waking. His features were calm and unchanging. He looked upset, and he did not greet her. “I didn't mean to intrude,” he said earnestly. 

“You mean, you did not think I’d feel you watching me,” Ellana said smugly, leaning against the desk. “How long have you been stalking my dreams?”

Solas ignored her question but instead asked curiously, “Did you find what you needed in Ferelden?”

“How…?” Then she remembered the Eluvian. How it monitored and watched. “Are you following me?” Solas ignored her question a second time. He watched her, as if he knew something he was not verbalizing. His face lacked judgement, but looked…disappointed. “You don’t get to stand around judging me for something that you won’t even admit to knowing.”

“I… I pleaded with you not to follow me,” his jaw was tight as he looked down on her. 

“Yeah and then you took me to Elvhenan and showed me Arlathan and I thought you changed your mind,” Ellana said with both smugness and mockery.

“I saw you, and I saw the way he looked at you,” Solas said, slightly under his breath. Ellana looked at him, confused. Was he trying to get her to lose her guard? “Touching you with hands that cared nothing for what you meant to me.”

“Who are you…?” A realization, he meant Cullen. Ellana smiled to herself, feeling pride well inside her at the confession that he was watching her. He was trying to throw her off her game. With a smile she asked, “What concern do you have about who I choose to comfort me?” He watched her silently, not answering. There is a look in his eyes: understanding. It pissed Ellana off, “You don’t get to speak about what you left behind.” He nods, actually agreeing with her. Ellana rolls her eyes, adding, “So, are you following me or having one of your agents follow me? Charter and I were the only Elvhes around.”

“Our connection…extends through the Fade,” Solas answered without really answering.

“Our..connection…you mean?” Ellana watched with wide eyes, did he mean their lost child?

He did not elaborate, instead saying, “I felt it…” When Ellana gave him a look of disgust, he added, “emotionally…it hurt.”

“Oh, sorry,” Ellana apologized with mockery and arrogance. “I am my own person, Solas, not a ‘tranquil’ you get to push and pull to fit into your destiny.” Solas winced at the sound of his name and the word tranquil. Ellana smiled at the displeasure in his face. “You chose ‘duty,’ and you don’t get to come crying every time I continue on without you.”

“If that is true, why do you continue to meddle?” Ellana should have expected the question, but she did not, and the words cut deep. She cursed at herself for having allowed him to successfully distract her.

So, she tried to cut him equally as deep. “Because I still love you and want you to come home.” Her answer visibly shook him. “Sever whatever connection you speak of and be done with me and make me forget.”

“I cannot…”

“Cannot or choose not,” she asked. “Stop trying to be a hero, you aren’t one.”

For a moment, Solas looked like he was going to lunge at her. But, instead, he calmly walked towards her. He leaned in close to her and Ellana could smell him. He smelled just as she remembered and she closed her eyes. He whispered to her, “I was not the only one watching.” Her eyes shot open in surprise. Solas continued, “I did not summon you because I yearned to see you. I summoned you because the Fade shifted... and I was not the only one who felt it. If you insist that you share yourself with anyone who’s shown you a morsel of kindness, you need to be more aware of how your release of pleasure affects the Fade around you.”

Ellana abhorred the wording Solas chose, but that was not the point. “What do you mean? Are you saying we are both being watched?”

“Anyway,” Solas said, standing back and looking away. “The Eluvians are not the only bridges between Thedas and the Fade.” Solas watched to see if she understood, she did not, and he did not give her the chance to understand. “The Fade, corrupted by red lyrium, is no longer just a place of spirits and demons.”

“Seradis Venn…”

“Stop meddling,” Solas warned. 

“Come home,” Ellana commanded.

The dream around them began to crumble. “Maintain your guard, Vhenan. Not for me. For whatever follows you back into the light,” Solas instructed as Ellana attempted to close the space between them.

“Are you not one of such things?” She asked softly. When he did not answer, she added, even softer, “If I come across one of your agents, I will kill them.” 

One last time, she wanted to see if she could convince him to stay. She reached for him and rubbed her hand, very tenderly, along his jaw. At her touch, he broke his posture and leaned into her hand. It was only a moment. She stood on her toes to try and kiss him, but before she could make contact, his eyes flashed and the dream broke completely. 

***

Ellana sat straight up in her bed as she woke. It had been a few months since she last heard his voice, even if it was only within her dreams. It sounded like butter, so smooth in the way he called her Vhenan , which only meant that he still cared about her. The word alone was enough to cause Ellana to cry, even if deep down she knew she was being delusional about the possibility that he may return to her.

Ellana replayed their conversation in her head. She snickered, while she cried, at the way she told him he was not a hero. If anything, he was the villain in this story, but his pride would not allow him to see it. Maybe pride is the reason he won’t come home, she thought to herself as she wiped her face. Maybe, Solas’ pride was keeping him from admitting that his plans were not just wrong but idiotic at best. If he came home to her, then he would be admitting he was wrong.

Maybe that is the same reason, I won’t give up on him, she thought. She felt remnants of her own pride wash over her. There was a possibility that her pride was keeping her from admitting that her plans to follow and save Solas from himself, was not only wrong but idiotic at best. No, that’s not it, she shook her head and fell back on her back.

The next two days passed quickly. Charter did not return as promised, but Morrigan showed. When asked why she was here alone, Morrigan shot Ellana a less than nice look and reminded her that Dorian said she was welcome whenever she pleased. When Ellana asked how her time away was, Morrigan seemed avoidant, like something either bad happened or something did not go as intended. Ellana was aware that Morrigan had a difficult time taming the Well, opting to meditate in places the Well preferred over her preference. Ellana looked upon the woman with sadness, as Morrigan fought against the piece of Mythal that resided within her, hoping for guidance and direction.

She tried to be quiet and not bother Morrigan too often. Ellana spent a few days either in the estate garden or sending correspondence to friends by crow. Ellana spent her nights in slumber, calling out to Solas hoping he would return to her, only earning silence in response. 

Another day passed, and Dorian finally returned, a day later than promised. Dorian found Ellana in his main study, writing a letter of correspondence to Varric, asking if he had heard from Charter. She finished tying the letter to her crow, as Dorian approached. “Welcome, back,” she greeted. “How is your mother?”

“She seems happier, now that she is out in the country,” he answered, grabbing a chair from across the room and dragging it towards Ellana. “How was Ferelden?”

Ellana considered telling Dorian about Cullen, but she knew he would not approve. “It wasn’t Cullen, it was a Templar who was staying at his sanctuary. They worked for Solas.”

“How do you know they work for Solas?”

“Because Solas implied it when he visited me,” she answered, avoiding eye contact.

Dorian grabbed Ellana by the chin and turned her face towards his. “Elaborate. Now.”

“The night I returned here, he visited me in my dream, warned me against meddling. And told me I’m being watched,” Ellana explained.

“Kaffas,” he swore. “I leave for two weeks and I come back to mage hobos breaking into my house to have a secret rendezvous in my friend’s dreams.”

“I also…slept with Cullen,” she added, unable to help herself. Secretly she wanted to see how Dorian would react, even if it was not positive.

“Ellana Lavellan!” he yelled. “Did you sleep with Solas too? You’re just going around collecting pathetic men now?”

“What? No, I would never,” she joked while giving him a side-eye. “Cullen isn’t pathetic.”

“Don't deflect Ellana,” he instructed. “He warned you that you were being watched…by who?”

“He wouldn’t tell me.”

“Or…he doesnt know.”

“Possibly,” Ellana reinforced, but did not sound like she was convinced. “Seradis Venn, she works for him, I think. He avoided the topic of her, but did affirm that he knows that red lyrium has poisoned the Fade. Thus, the Fade is more dangerous than before.”

“Including the Crossroads?”

“I assume so,” she shrugged. “We must stay vigilant. Anyways, did Briala’s spy  mention why she wants to meet with us.”

“Yes, Briala wants to meet with the Lucerni about Qunari expansionism in Orlais,” Dorian answered.

“Is it getting that bad?”

“Apparently…” Dorian paused. “Let me give Maevaris a call and see if she is available to come with us.”

***

A week later, Maevaris, Dorian, and Ellana found themselves in a very fancy casino in Cumberland, a port city in Southern Nevarra. “Dorian, Cumberland has the College of Enchanters? I wonder how Fiona is doing,” Ellana said to Dorian as the three sat for drinks in one of the casino lounges. 

Briala requested to meet in this casino because it was usually filled with a diversity of people and thus finding two Elvhes meeting with two Humans would not be noticeable. Dorian had rented a private section of the lounge for the four of them to meet, upstairs away from noise and prying eyes. The section was beautiful, with richly colored rugs and pillows lining the floor, which allowed guests to lounge comfortably. Hookah and Alcohol flowed, which Ellana took no time indulging in. 

The trio had been enjoying themselves for two hours before Briala arrived with one of her spies. “Protection and oversight,” Briala explained, as if one of the three were the real threat in this situation. Both Briala and her male spy sat with the three and they began. “I called to meet with the Inquisitor, because as a person who I have allied with before, I hope that one of your allies would become an agreeable ally to add to my list. Also, I hope you had the chance to ponder on the request I made during our previous meeting.”

“Yes, I did,” Ellana answered. “However, the Eluvian network is not mine to give, as I am not the one who controls it. You’d have to reach out to Morrigan directly.” Briala frowned. Ellana knew that Briala was familiar with Morrigan, since they both served as advisors under Celene. However, Ellana was unsure if Briala had an ill opinion of the women.

“I see,” Briala replied. “Okay, to the present business. This is Loranil.” Briala introduced her companion. Loranil nodded.

“Loranil? I did not recognize you…” Ellana asked. Loranil looked different than when she recruited him into the Inquisition. He had dyed his hair and eyebrows black, when it was orange before. He also looked like he gained 20lbs in muscle. 

“A pleasure, Inquisitor,” he formally greeted her with a slight nod.

“Magister Pavus,” Dorian introduced, pointing to himself. “As you know, this is Inquisitor Lavellan and this is Magister Tilani.”

“Loranil oversees operations in Nevarra and has been monitoring Qunari movement in the area,” Briala explained. “Loranil.” Ellan nodded in surprise. She would have expected Loranil to return to his clan after the war, but it seems he found another purpose. She was relieved to see that he had not joined Solas. 

“We received reports of Veil anomalies in Elvhen ruins and our agents disappearing near key Fade-touched zones in Southern Nevarra. We believe the rifts are tied to Elvhen magic and Qunari experimentation with lyrium. Thus we called the Lucerni, as you have experience with Qunari and magic.”

“We were perplexed as to the reason the Qunari had interest in magic, since they see it as an affront to life,” Briala continued.

“We were surprised as well, but when Qunari took control of Castellum Tenebris because of the lyrium ritual, we realized that they may not realize how red lyrium manipulates the Fade,” Dorian concluded, adding on to the information the two Elvhes already gave. 

Briala continued, “We intercepted encrypted Qunari communications suggesting they're attempting to weaponize Veil fractures.” Ellana made a mental note that she should probably learn Qunlat. 

“So what are you suggesting?” Ellana asked.

“An formal yet informal alliance,” Briala answered. 

Chapter Text

Story Three

Wintermarch, 9:47 Dragon:  Ellana sat alone in the Crossroads, reading and rereading scraps she had collected over the last two months. 

Regarding The Dread Wolf, the first read:

There is precious little we know about Fen’Harel, for they say he did not care for our people. Elgar’nan and Mythal created the world as we know it, Andruil taught us the Ways of the Hunter, Sylaise and June gave us fire and crafting, but Fen’Harel kept to himself and plotted the betrayal of all the gods. And after the destruction of Arlathan, when the gods could no longer hear our prayers, it is said that Fen’Harel spent centuries in a far corner of the earth, giggling madly and hugging himself in glee.

The legend says that before the fall of Arlathan, the gods we know and revere fought an endless war with others of their kind. There is not a hah’ren among us who remembers these others: Only in dreams do we hear whispered the names of Geldauran and Daern'thal and Anaris, for they are the Forgotten Ones, the gods of terror and malice, spite and pestilence. In ancient times, only Fen'Harel could walk without fear among both our gods and the Forgotten Ones, for although he is kin to the gods of the People, the Forgotten Ones knew of his cunning ways, and saw him as one of their own.

And that is how Fen'Harel tricked them. Our gods saw him as a brother, and they trusted him when he said that they must keep to the heavens while he arranged a truce. And the Forgotten Ones trusted him also when he said he would arrange for the defeat of our gods, if only the Forgotten Ones would return to the abyss for a time. They trusted Fen'Harel, and all of them were betrayed. And Fen'Harel sealed them away so they could never again walk among the People.

—From The Tale of Fen’Harel’s Triumph, as told by Gisharel, Keeper of the Clan Ralaferin 

The second read:

The Dalish use "Harellan" to mean "traitor to one's kin," but the word does not appear in any elven text before the Towers Age. The ancient root-word is related to "harillen," or opposition, and "hellathen," or noble struggle. The Dalish call Fen'Harel a god of deception, but I posit a far more accurate translation would be "god of rebellion."

What he rebelled against is a story lost to time. In Dalish legends, Fen'Harel seals away the other deities out of love of trickery. If we understood more ancient Elvhen, we might find earlier versions of the Dread Wolf's story give him a more nuanced motivation beyond spite.

—From A Treaty on the Pagan and Heretical Customs of the Elven, by Senallen Tavernier of the University of Orlais, commissioned by Empress Celene.

The third is a page ripped from a book, on one side a wolf with black jaws and pits for eyes:

[The Evanuris—the elven gods—stand in a ring around it, as if to prevent it from attacking]

"Beware the forms of Fen'Harel! The Dread Wolf comes in humble guises, a wanderer who knows much of the People and their spirits. He will offer advice that seems fair, but turns slowly to poison. Remember the price of treason, and keep in your heart the mercy of your gods."

The fourth note was written in both Common and Qunlat [Words bolded are in Qunlat]. Ellana was appreciative to have spent the better part of the year studying Qunlat:

These walls of blue flame were cast by the agent of Fen'Harel as he ran through this place bringing chaos and destruction. Do not light fires from them. Do not go near them. Fen'Harel's mage-servant made them to hamper us, and they brought only death.

Ellana found herself alone, torturing herself with these bits and pieces that she uses to understand the side of Solas she has only seen three times. She remembered something Briala said to her at their meeting almost a year ago, when she agreed to an alliance between the Lucerni and Briala, “You are perplexing, Inquisitor. A woman entangled with gods and betrayal.” Ellana understood her meaning superficially, but to understand the deeper meaning behind the words, she began to research and collect information on the history of Fen’Harel. 

After spending the previous year helping the Lucerni and Briala nurture their new alliance by halting the Qunari threat, Ellana sought out Morrigan in the Crossroads. Ellana was wary of asking Morrigan to aid her because the more Morrigan meditated on the Well, the more it seemed she was reluctant to use it. Translating the rune was the last favor she asked of her, and the task was both mentally exhausting and time consuming for Morrigan. And ever since, whenever the two women interacted it seemed that Morrigan and Ellana had tension between the two of them. 

As Ellana sat cross legged near the Skyhold Eluvian, Ellana wondered how Morrigan would react to her asking if she would consult Mythal’s essence about Solas. As she sat and thought, a wisp of Curiosity floated by Ellana’s head, obscuring one of her pages from view. Ellana instinctively tried to shoo it away, but the wisp dodged her hand and continued to float in the original spot. 

Taking a breath, Ellana asked, “Hello, little one, are you lost?” The wisp glowed brighter in response. “You want to know what I’m reading?” The wisp’s light pulsed twice, which Ellana took as an affirmative. Ellana was going to tell the wisp what she was reading, but the wisp reached out a tendral and connected with the area between Ellana’s brows. In an instant, she felt all her knowledge of Fen’Harel, both her personal experience and that from the pages, shared with the wisp.

Ellana sat back, breaking contact. “That’s not…you should have asked,” she felt herself growing angry at the wisp, which pulsed in delight at its new knowledge. “That stuff is personal…” Ellana did not have much time to lecture the small spirit, because not soon after, it floated away. Ellana watched after it, lamenting on how it reminded her of Cole.

“The simplest of spirits tend to teach us the most about ourselves,” Ellana heard a voice call out from behind her. She turned and saw Morrigan approaching. 

“Morrigan, it's been a while,” Ellana greeted with a large smile. “I was hoping to run into you.”

“It has.” Ellana noticed that Morrigan seemed cheerful. “I have been visiting my home, making amends with myself and working through the traumas of my upbringing. How long have you waited here?”

Ellana pondered the question. Time moves differently in this place than it does out of the Fade. If she had to guess, it felt like a day had passed. “Maybe one day, I am not sure,” Ellana answered, with uncertainty in her voice. 

Morrigan nodded, but disapproval was written on her face. “Come with me. I made a home near the Temple of Mythal. Being in proximity has made the Well more…tolerable. The Eluvian is this way.”

Ellana grabbed her items and followed after Morrigan. “What do you mean..tolerable?”

“The Well is very intolerant to idleness and actions that are not in the pursuit of some type of retribution, or at least that’s what it tells me,” Morrigan answered as they walked. “When I am in one place too long, the voices get louder until I am unable to hear my own thoughts. It certainly does not help that some of the voices are in languages I am unfamiliar with.”

“Such as?” Ellana asked while she maintained pace with Morrigan.

“Old Tevene, for one. Ancient Elvhen is the language I focus most on, as it would be Mythal,” Morrigan explained. “I’ve been spending my time alone studying the languages, with what resources I can find.” 

“Can I ask a personal question?”

“Of course, Inquisitor.”

“I understand that your mother would be among the memories the Well holds…I understand that you had a less than positive relationship with her…” Ellana stuttered. Ellana felt unsure if she should ask, as she and Morrigan were cordial, but not close.

“As I said before,” Morrigan answered with a smile rather than contempt. “I have been making amends with myself and working through the traumas of my upbringing.” Ellana nodded as she and Morrigan stepped through the Eluvian.

They entered a clearing that at first glance had no entrances or exits. But, with the magically skilled eye, one could see a false wall made to resemble thick vines in the far corner, opposite the Eluvian. Near the Eluvian was a small cabin, which Ellana assumed was Morrigan’s home. “Is this where you were raised?”

“Oh no,” Morrigan answered. “Come inside, put your stuff down. I want to show you a map of the area and how close we are to the Temple.”

Ellana and Morrigan spent the rest of the day going over Morrigan’s map. Morrigan took Ellana through the false wall and showed her around the immediate area. Along the walk, Ellana saw out of the corner of her eye a Fen’Harel statue, which both surprised her and felt expected. 

She remembered when they first came to the Temple of Mythal and the abundance of Fen’Harel statues. Ellana wondered if Morrigan was aware that the statue sat so close to her home? She wondered if she chose the location purposely.

When the women returned, they made dinner together and Ellana took the opportunity to show Morrigan her collection. Morrigan looked over it with a facial expression that could be described as both uncomfortable and pitiful. “Is there a reason you’re making that expression?” Ellana asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Just reminded me…not me but the Well of something, it's upset by the notes,” Morrigan explained, sounding almost exhausted. “I invited you here because I did want to share with you some information about Mythal and I think it may involve the Dread Wolf.” Ellana made an expression of both surprise and inquisitiveness. Morrigan took it as a cue for her to continue, “I’ve been having dreams, a mix of Mythal’s memories and what I believe are current events. There is activity in the temple and I think someone is looking for something that is important to Mythal. Her magic cries out in defense.” Morrigan held her eyes closed as she recounted her experiences, seeming as if she was in something akin to distress. 

“I want your help when I go investigate, and in return you may also find whatever answers you search for,” the woman told Ellana, who listened intently. 

“We both seek knowledge. And I hope we also agree that we should find a way to prevent Solas from tearing down the Veil. Whatever our personal goals…are our own.”

“I agree,” Morrigan agreed. “In my travels, I also attempted to track down Abelas. I don’t know if you remember him.” Ellana nodded the affirmative that she did in fact remember the Elf that told her that Mythal lives, and she was killed, not by Fen’Harel, but her fellow Evanuris. “I have been unable to find him…maybe he has returned to the Temple. I would like his guidance with the Well.”

“Tell me what you know about Mythal.”

“Thus far,” Morrigan began. “ I have been able to discern that Mythal may have anticipated her betrayal, I’m not sure how, but she split herself before her death. As we know, once she died her spirit split again, and one was held by my mother. But the Well I hold, holds the memory of her betrayal by the Evanuris. As Abelas warned, the Well is a mirror of loss that exacts a price for its knowledge, as learned by those who held it before I.”

“Have you learned the price?”

“Well, when we confronted my mother, you witnessed that one of the prices was my autonomy. Mythal requires exchanges for the Well’s knowledge, which is why I meditate in places it tells me to go rather than places I wish to be.”

“And you believe there is something in the temple calling to you, maybe something that would threaten Mythal. So, she requires you to go…what happens if you disobey?”

“I am not sure…but, sometimes a great pain comes over me when I disobey,” Morrigan looked anguished when she shared the information. 

Ellana nodded in silent understanding, “I understand that this is urgent. Let us prepare to leave tomorrow.”

***

As Ellana and Morrigan approached the courtyard of Mythal, they noticed that it was teeming with people. From a quick glance, Ellana noticed at least six guards on duty, all Elvhes and at least two of the guards were mages. Ducking behind a large bush, they coordinated a plan of attack. “Well, I see why you were called…I only saw two mages, so we should be able to take all six.”

“Going straight in will alert the entire temple,” Morrigan warned.

“Yes, but the temple is large and we are on Mythal’s turf. Would her temple not defend her?” Ellana watched as Morrigan considered her words. 

“Yes, that may be true. Let us push forward and let the Well guide our steps.” Ellana nodded and followed Morrigan as the Well instructed.

The guards were quickly dispatched but not without a fight. One guard ran into the temple, assumed to be alerting the others to their presence. Ellana stopped at one of the bodies, pulling off a note, which read:

Activity at the home in the near proximity. Stay vigilant and maintain presence, even through the night. May the Dread Wolf protect you.

Sergeant Elrean

Ellana cursed under her breath, Solas’ agents. “They’ve been watching you,” she informed Morrigan as she handed her the note. 

“As so they have,” the woman replied, but she did not seem surprised. Morrigan seemed undisturbed as she walked towards the doors of the temple. The Outer Courtyard Ritual was ignored by the woman, surprising Ellana. Morrigan stopped at the doors to listen to the Well. She raised her arms and her eyes shone a crystal blue, which Ellana was able to see through Morrigan’s closed eyelids.

The doors swung open revealing the Inner Courtyard Ritual area, which looked the same as Ellana remembered it to be. What was out of the ordinary, was that the room was empty. “They must be inside. They may have used the hole Samson blew through the floor,” Ellana reasoned to Morrigan who nodded, frowning. Morrigan continued her walk through the inner courtyard opening the door to the inner temple the same way that she opened the first door. 

Inside the temple were five agents, none were mages. “Stay back,” Morrigan commanded Ellana. Ellana listened to the command, noticing that Morrigan’s voice took on a pitch that was different from her usual voice. Ellana watched wide eyed, as Morrigan, seemingly possessed by the spirit of Mythal, laid waste to the five agents. When Morrigan returned to Ellana, her eyes were no longer glowing the crystal blue and had returned to their normal, golden color. “Their bodies are yours,” Morrigan motioned towards the corpses that laid along the floor.

Ellana scanned the bodies and found one that looked a higher rank than the others due to the higher quality of their garments. She rustled through the pockets finding a note that read:

Sergeant Elrean

The mages and I will venture into the inner sanctum. That which Fen’Harel seeks is located there. Your subordinates are to maintain guard of the outer and inner courtyard. Make sure none pass through.

Imshael

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Ellana cursed out loud. Imshael really? Ellana thought to herself.

“What is the matter, Inquisitor?” Morrigan asked.

“I hope you’re ready to fight a demon,” she answered. When Morrigan looked confused, Ellana clarified. “We are dealing with a demon named Imshael. It calls itself a ‘choice spirit’ and is delusional about it. We negotiated the control of Suledin Keep from it during the war…I can’t believe Solas would negotiate with it again.”

“Well Inquisitor, the Dread Wolf is known to utilize the service of spirits, if this ‘demon’ believes itself to be a spirit, he may be trying to encourage it to stay within itself,” Morrigan offered as a possible explanation. 

Ellana did not know if the explanation was convincing at the moment, but she knew that once they breached the threshold Solas would find out they were there. Ellana's chest tightened at the idea, and she felt excitement. There was a possibility that Solas was there with them. She smiled to herself, she may see him again. 

As if reading her mind, Morrigan gave Ellana a look of uncertainty and said, “Let us not get ahead of ourselves. We need to keep moving; the Well pulls me this way.” 

Ellana followed closely behind Morrigan through the inner sanctum. They passed the area where they fought Samson years before and avoided the room where the Well was once held. Morrigan led her to another area, towards the far back and down a flight of stairs in what looked to be underground. 

There, the two women found five mages trying to unlock a large, golden door. The door was magically sealed and one mage stood behind the other four giving directions. “I can feel the magic of the door, Inquisitor,” Morrigan whispered. “They will perish before they get that door open. I am the only one who can open it.” 

As if on cue, the mage in charge, who Ellana assumed to be Imshael looked around the room as if sensing the presence of someone unwelcome. “I know you’re there little watchers,” the mage called.

“Weird, Imshael was definitely a ‘he’ when I last saw him,” Ellana whispered to Morrigan. Currently, Imshael stood as a tall human woman, blond, and slender. 

Imshael scanned the room, unable to find the two women. “Don’t stop working,” she commanded the mages, who were also human and from the look of their clothing, Tevene.

Imshael rounded the corner opposite from where Ellana and Morrigan hid. When she was out of sight, Ellana whispered, “Now’s our chance!” Morrigan and Ellana made themselves known, causing the four mages to cease their work and turn to them. One mage grew desperate and attempted a maneuver to force the door open, causing a blast that killed the mage on impact. The sound was very loud and everyone present covered their ears in response. 

Imshael ran back into view, “You idiots,” she screamed at the mages. But, the mages ignored her, and ran to defend themselves against Morrigan and Ellana. Imshael provided no help and ran for cover. 

The mages were powerful, but luckily for Ellana, the power Morrigan held evened the field. In the end two more mages were dead and one pleaded for help from Imshael. “Stop! Please, I beg you,” the mage cried. 

“Hey, over here,” Imshael called from the side. “How about this…Instead of killing us I give you a choice? Wait…I know you.” Imshael pointed towards Ellana and smiled. “You’re the Inquisitor. Yes, you like making choices, you made one for me before.” 

Ellana rolled her eyes, “Why are you working with the Dread Wolf?”

“I am the one asking questions and presenting choices, Inquisitor,” Imshael complained, folding her arms. 

“Will you answer once you're done with your choice?” Ellana asked.

“Yes.”

“Why are we negotiating with it?” Morrigan asked, confused.

“Oh, because it would be easier than fighting me,” answered the woman. “As the Inquisitor probably knows, I am a ‘choice spirit’ and as such it is very hard to kill me. Much faster and simpler to just make a choice and I will be gone. You can even have the mage.”

“What? No!” the nameless mage screamed. Against better judgment, the mage lunged at Imshael, who disintegrated the mage from where they lunged. 

“Well, I guess the mage is no longer on the table,” Imshael shrugged. The woman postured herself as if she was about to reveal a grand secret. “You let me go and we all live. I leave this place and you get whatever is behind the door.”

“That’s fair,” Morrigan said immediately. “I choose that.”

“What? Morrigan!”

“Inquisitor, the Well calls to this door, and the ‘spirit’ says it will leave.” Morrigan paused and allowed Ellana to consider. “Did the ‘spirit’ follow its word before?”

“Yes…fine.”

“Wonderful, goodbye,” and with that Imshael was gone. 

“She did not answer my questions, shit…” Ellana complained. “Solas is not going to be happy with her.”

“Not our concern Inquisitor,” Morrigan said as she turned towards the warded door. Morrigan fiddled with the door for a couple minutes, and then she was able to open it. “It is done. Follow me.”

Ellana followed Morrigan through the long hallway until she stopped at the end of the room. In the room was a crown, it stood on a pedestal and it gleamed a bright silver. “What is that?” Ellana asked. 

“I don’t know, the Well wants me to wear it,” Morrigan sang as if in a trance. Ellana grabbed the woman’s arm, stopping her from grabbing the crown. 

“Morrigan, you don’t even know what it is!”

“The Well compels me, you don’t understand, I have no choice.” Morrigan heated her arm until it burned Ellana’s hand. Ellana released the woman, allowing Morrigan to take hold of the crown. She placed it upon her head and immediately fell into unconsciousness. Ellana jumped to catch her as she fell.

Morrigan was only unconscious for a few minutes until she woke back up in Ellana’s arms. “Morrigan!”

“I am fine,” she assured, sitting up on her own. 

“What’s going on?”

“I will tell you soon, I need…” Morrigan grabbed her head making a noise that indicated pain. “I need to get home.”

***

As soon as Morrigan stepped through the threshold of her room, she laid herself out across her bed and fell into a deep slumber. Ellana watched over her for a few hours until it was clear, the woman was going to be okay. Ellana made herself dinner and cooked Morrigan a portion in case she woke up. 

After she ate, Ellana went on a walk, mostly to put up wards but another part of her was feeling melancholy. It was the fifth year anniversary of her miscarriage and she wanted to spend some time alone. The day had been long and it was really late. And against her best judgment, Ellana found herself at the Fen’Harel altar she saw the day prior. 

She dragged her hand along the snout of the wolf. “Why won’t you come home to me?” she whispered with closed eyes. She sat herself underneath the snout of the animal and reflected on her year. Ellana had made a ritual for herself, that every anniversary she would reflect on the year prior and try to put out good intentions for the next year. She mostly prayed that she would not die but she also prayed that Solas would return to her.

Suddenly, Ellana bolted upright. In the corner of her eye, she swore she saw movement. “Morrigan?” No answer came. She tried the name again but again, no answer. Fearing for the worst, Ellana reached into herself to try a spell that she once used in active combat. She did something akin to fade stepping, she opened the fade, sort of, and then pulled every living creature towards her. 

Ellana was surprised by what she found. Kneeling at her feet was Seraelia. She was hurt by Ellana’s magic but still stared up at her in disgust and fear. “What,” Ellana stared in return, confused.

“What?” Seraelia spat, she tried to stand but failed. 

“So it’s true…” Ellana looked over her former handmaiden. She was older, bigger, she clearly had spent time in formal training. Ellana took a breath, the weight of the betrayal heavy in her words. “You joined up with the Dread Wolf then?”

“He is going to save our people, instead of posturing for our oppressors,” Seraelia regurgitated. Ellana was confused, when she knew Seraelia, she was never radical. 

Ellana knew she was going to need to kill Seraelia, or she would kill her. She drew a breath, the tears beginning to fall down her face. She walked up to Seraelia and grabbed her by the hair, pulling back sharply, the woman yelped. Ellana said, “You betrayed me.”

“I never,” Seraelia cried through gritted teeth. “I only did what was right.”

“It was cruel of him to send you,” Ellana whispered.

“He didn’t, I followed you from the temple,” Seraelia informed. “Imshael sent me here to tie up loose ends.”

“Why do the blameless give their lives for the worthless?” Ellana took another breath, centering herself for what she was about to do next. Seraelia was too far gone, Ellana saw that, or at least she convinced herself of it. “Even if you never find peace, I hope you find rest.” With that, she took one of her enchanted blades and extended it through Seraelia’s chest. 

The woman coughed and swore at Ellana, but Ellana stood silently behind her taking the verbal assault. When Seraelia took her last breath, she dragged her body towards the wolf statue and set it up as a sacrifice to Fen’Harel. She gutted her and removed her organs placing them in a ceremonious fashion. 

Most of the night had passed by the time Ellana left the altar, tired and bloody. Before she returned, she removed her bloodstained clothing and left it next to the altar. Naked, she returned to Morrigan’s home. The anniversary of her child’s passing was thoroughly tainted, at least for this year. Ellana opened the door and walked inside, Morrigan was still asleep. She laid down on the cot Morrigan let her use, and pulled the blanket up over her body. Sleep took her quickly.

***

Solas was in her dreams almost immediately, the place Ellana left Seraelia’s corpse as the backdrop. He stood tall, in a black long sleeve sweater and black leather pants. He did not look pleased, rather disgusted as he looked upon the altar.  Seeing the altar, caused the reality of what Ellana did to Seraelia wash over her. Ellana dropped to her knees and sobbed in her own shame and disgust for herself.

Solas watched, “Why cry now? Are your actions not your own?”

Ellana was hurt by his words and her own actions, “Is it only fun for you if it’s painful for me?” She continued to lament her own actions, the shame of what she did to someone she once called a friend…it was too much to bear.

“You’ll endure,” Solas instructed as he placed a hand on the top of Ellana’s head. It caused Ellana to break her cries and look up at him. She had not felt his touch in years and it unnerved her. 

“Why are you here?”

“You continue to meddle,” was all he said. “My agent returned to me empty handed. I was displeased. It said they met the Inquisitor.”

“Okay?” Ellana shook her head. “And what of it? Whatever you wanted was only accessible by Mythal. You couldn’t have it even if you wanted to.” His hand had yet to leave her head, that detail scared Ellana. She feared what he may do to her while angry and while she was in a vulnerable position. 

Solas was silent. He made no movement, except for the slight flex of the hand that held her head. After a moment, he removed his hand and Ellana audibly released her breath. She rose from her knees and turned towards him. Solas scanned his eyes over Ellana’s sacrifice and then looked back at her. “This is no way to honor…” he paused, realizing he let his mask slip. He knew…

“No way to honor, what?” Ellana questioned but he did not answer, he just continued to stare at the altar. “Solas, answer me.”

“Why must you continue to pursue me?”

“You’re not going to change the subject,” she pointed an accusing finger at him. “You know what today means. If you knew why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“What would you have me say?” Solas made the  mistake of letting the mask completely fall. He looked anguished and lonely. “A mistake was made and fate solved it for us. Tell me, what would you rather me do?”

“Mistake? Solved…I grieved alone, for two years. Two years! And now, it’s five. How long have you known?” Solas did not answer her, he did not look at her either. “Or have you always known. Did Seraelia tell you? Who was it? You abandoned me!” Ellana continued to sob, the snot starting to run out her nose. She wiped her face but it did nothing to console her. “And now you stand there pretending not to hear or see the mess you helped make.” 

“You endured…”

“I endured? Do you hear yourself? The magic of the anchor…your magic, caused the death of our baby. If they were born, would you even have come back? Or would you have sacrificed us both for your ‘Din'anshiral?’” 

Solas tried again to change the subject. “The crown is in possession of Morrigan?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Fine, I guess you’ll know everything soon enough then…”

“Solas, are you listening to me?”

Solas took a deep breath trying desperately to establish the space between him and Ellana. “I ask again, what would you have me do?”

Ellana closed the space, “I want you to hold me, to console me, and come home.” Solas grabbed her and held her close. Ellana sobbed into his arms, almost shaking. The weight of their shared loss finally released. From below, she could hear him cry as well, but not as open or as loud. He held her by her back and her head, encapsulating her in his arms. She could feel his nose buried in the crown of her head, his breath hot against her scalp.  

After some time, he released her. “Vhenan, I beg you, please don’t do things like this,” he pleaded motioning towards the mutilated corpse of Seraelia. “You are lucky Imshael did not kill you outright.” He paused. “I must go.”

“No,” she grabbed onto his sweater, disallowing him to move. “Stay a bit longer. Please…”

“Why did you come to Mythal’s temple?”

“I wanted to learn more about Fen’Harel.”

“What did you learn?”

“Nothing…I was hoping Morrigan would have answers,” she paused. “I was chasing Fen’Harel because chasing Solas brought me nothing.” Ellana could feel his heartbeat. It was slow and deep. She looked up at him, he was close enough to kiss, but he continued to look forward, avoiding her.

“Morrigan now holds all of Mythal’s memories. Ask her anything and she will be able to answer.”

“Or you can answer them, my questions concern you,” she pointed out. Solas stood tall then, and resumed his usual air of detachment. He looked her over, the sadness in his eyes still evident. Ellana saw a blue light flash within his eyes and she woke. 

***

Ellana awoke with a jolt, the emotions of her dream, laid bare on her face. She was still nude and the chill of the morning increased her awareness. She opened her pack and removed some clothing, redressing, and rose to check on Morrigan. 

Morrigan was awake and sitting on her bed. She was quiet and the crown sat on her bed in front of her. One look from Morrigan and Ellana could tell she knew. “You were visited by the Dread Wolf?” Ellana looked at Morrigan as if she was going to deny the accusation, but Morrigan continued, “I can feel his magic on you. Mythal knew him well and now it seems so do I. Those questions you came to ask, I may be able to answer them if Mythal allows me.”

“What did that crown do to you?” 

“It released all of Mythal’s memories, along with the Well, I believe she and I are one, like my mother and she was,” Morigan trailed off, the weight of her words evident on her face. “You’ve held your end of the bargain, ask your questions.”

“You need to rest Morrigan, my questions can wait.” Ellana tried to help Morrigan relax but the woman shook her off.

Sternly, Morrigan repeated, “Ask your questions.”

The tone of Morrigan’s voice provoked fear in Ellana, causing her to not want to anger her. Thus she asked her question, “Why does Fen’Harel insist that he must tear down the Veil?”

“The Dread Wolf’s pride will not allow him to see that there is another way. He believes only he can rectify this wrong because the last time he allowed someone else to fix the mistake, it resulted in my death…in Mythal’s death. The Dread Wolf would rather kill someone for suggesting there is another way, than admit his way is wrong,” Morrigan paused, her face seeming like she was battling something deep within her. “Next question.”

“Why would the Evanuris kill Mythal?”

“Because I…she was right and they were wrong, and they did not like being wrong.” The answer seemed too neat to be the truth, but Ellana felt too hesitant to question it. “Next question.”

“What was the wrong that Fen’Harel and the Evanuris committed?”

Morrigan stared long and hard into Ellana’s eyes. “The Blight.”

“The Blight?” Morrigan did not indicate she intended to explain anything. more. When Ellana realized this, she attempted to probe, “What does the Blight have to do with the Evanuris?”

“Next question.”

“But—”

“I said , next question!”

Thoroughly intimidated, Ellana moved onto her next question, “What is Fen'Harel’s birth name?” 

Morrigan looked at her confused. “Birth?”

“Yes, when he was born, did his mother give him the name Solas? He said he was Solas first and Fen’Harel came later.”

The look of realization crossed the other woman’s face. “Mother…no. He was called Wisdom.”

“Wisdom…I am not sure what you mean,” Ellana said confused. 

“He came because I…Mythal, asked him to come,” Morrigan explained. “Next question, she is growing impatient.”

“I can’t think of anything else…”

“That’s too bad,” Morrigan closed her eyes and then opened them as if she was released from a hold. She released a breath and took several deep breaths to calm her nerves. “Inquisitor, I trust that Mythal was compliant.”

“Were you not aware?”

“In and out,” Morrigan answered, rubbing her eyes.

“She was demanding and frightening. She left me with more questions than answers.”

“As she does,” Morrigan reassured, smiling at Ellana. “I have many memories to sift through, Inquisitor. I am hesitant to allow Mythal’s fragment to possess me in the way I allowed for you, but I did promise you answers in return for your help. It will take much time to be able to answer the questions you seek with full consciousness, but when I come to understand, I will share it with you. The Dread Wolf holds a great deal of value to you and, from what I can discern, to Mythal as well. Maybe these revelations may bring you both peace.”  

Chapter Text

Story Four

Drakonis, 9:48 Dragon. Ellana sat in contemplative silence as she rehearsed her testimony. She was due to testify as a character witness for Maevaris Tilani, who was being investigated by the Tevinter Magisterium. By way of the Lucerni, Maevaris had earned enemies among a couple of very influential Magisters, and thus these Magisters called for her to be stripped of her title. 

Fortunately, for Maevaris, she was not alone. Dorian sat on the Magisterium and as did a couple of the Lucerni allies, who would vote in favor of Maevaris keeping her title. Maevaris also had an ally of the former Inquisitor, who was more than willing to testify on her behalf. Unfortunately, Ellana was not a voting member and thus her final opinion would not count. Even so, many of the opposing Magisters attempted to have her testimony voided due to her being an Elf, however, that was quickly thrown out. 

Ellana was due to testify this morning, though she was originally scheduled to testify the day before. The appointment before hers ran much longer than expected and they moved Ellana to the current morning. Hopefully, I will get called today, she thought to herself hoping her appointment is not rescheduled again.

She took a deep breath, a couple of white curls falling forward into her face. Ellana wore a traditional Chantry robe and tiara in order to emphasize her previous ties to the Chantry, even if it was the Orlesian Chantry. Dorian argued that it would make Ellana seem more credible if people were reminded of the status she held. As the Herald of Andraste, she wore a crown similar to the ones in Andraste’s Chantry depictions, her hair curled and placed into an elaborate updo. Along with the hairstyle, she wore a traditional Imperial Chantry robe in the color white, in order to enhance her “purity and holiness.” To Ellana, however, the entire outfit was hot and uncomfortable. 

Ellana pulled at the neckline, taking a deep breath in the process. She was sitting in a private waiting room with Imperial Templars guarding the doors. Across from her, sitting at a desk was a human woman, who was busy with her work. The Templars watched Ellana very intently, so much so, that she felt they would lunge at her if she made any sudden movement.

She tried not to focus on it. Whenever Ellana ventured outside of Dorian’s estate, she always felt that she was being watched and judged. On a couple of occasions, she was even stopped and questioned as a runaway slave. On all occasions, Dorian had to personally retrieve her, or she may be returned to a random Magister and enslaved. After the second time of that happening, she stopped going out in Hightown without the company of either Dorian or Maevaris. 

“Inquisitor Ellana Lavellan, the Magisterium is ready for you,” the woman at the desk abruptly spoke. Ellana nodded and followed her to the throne room of the Archon palace. In the throne room, sat seven Magisters and the current Archon. Behind them in an auditorium setting, sat many more Magisters, their profiles blurred by their position. Dorian and Maevaris were two of the seven Magisters present. The rest of the Magisters, Ellana, was unfamiliar with. The Imperial Archon, Archon Radonis, was a familiar name to Ellana, as he had offered a conditional allegiance to the Inquisition. Josephine had described the man as being cunning and politically well-versed. 

Ellana walked to the center of the room and stood at the single podium. “Good morning, Inquisitor Lavellan,” Archon Radonis said. “Welcome to this session of the Magisterium. As you may be aware, we meet on behalf of Magister Maevaris Tilani, who has been accused of treason. You were called here today as requested by Magister Tilani, to serve as a character witness. Please state your full name, occupation, and whether or not you are familiar with a woman named Maevaris Tilani?”

“My name is Ellana Lavellan. I previously served as Inquisitor to the Orlesian Chantry. As of now, I extend my services to allies in need. And yes, I am familiar with a woman named Maevaris Tilani,” Ellana answered formally.

“Is she present here today?” asked the Archon Radonis. Ellana nodded her head in the affirmative. Archon Radonis continued, “Please point to this woman.” Ellana pointed at Maevaris who nodded at her. “Good…How do you know the Magister?”

“We became acquainted during my service to the Inquisition,” Ellana testified. “She helped the Inquisition forces against Venatori support of Corypheus. We have been acquainted ever since.”

“And what is the current nature of your acquaintance?”

“I serve with her as a part of the Lucerni, a faction within the magisterium whose primary goal is to redeem Tevinter so that it could reach its full potential.”

When Ellana mentioned “redeeming Tevinter,” she noticed that one of the unfamiliar Magisters side-eyed one of her colleagues. This Magister had long black hair and piercing blue eyes. “How long have you known Maevaris?” Radonis asked.

“Informally, seven years, formally, four years,” Ellana clarified. 

“How often would you say you interact with Magister Tilani and under what circumstances?” one of the other Magisters questioned.

“I would say that I see her about once a month and usually for business,” Ellana explained, which earned suspicious looks from the questioning Magisters. To save face, she added, “We would also meet for lunch informally as well as she being a frequent visitor to Magister Pavus’ home, where I live.” She felt like she was rambling towards the end.

“If you had to describe Magister Tilani, how would you,” that same Magister asked.

“She is responsible, reliable, and has a good work ethic. When serving under the Inquisition she was an invaluable resource to have when fighting those across the continent. I was able to trust that she would do what she promised with little oversight,” Ellana explained to the room, which earned a few nods. Dorian looked pleased, while Maevaris looked unsure. 

Ellana continued, “Magister Tilani loves and cares for her country, she has fought against Venatori and treason for years. It would be very out of character for her to turn around and commit the same crimes she actively works against.”

The Magister that gave the side-eye spoke up. “Would you say that you know everything about Magister Tilani’s life outside her service to the Inquisition and the Lucerni?”

Ellana looked confused. “No, I don’t know every detail of her personal life.”

That same Magister responded, “So it would be safe to assume that, while you interact with her during your business dealings, you do not interact with Tilani on a daily basis?”

“Correct,” Ellana dryly answered.

“So your opinion of her character is based solely on your experience with her in the Lucerni and her volunteering for the Inquisition?”

“Yes.”

“Thus, you would not be able to speak on the events in which Tilani is accused of because it was neither during her service to the Lucerni nor the Inquisition?”

“Yes, that is correct,” Ellana answered, feeling as if her testimony was either null or inefficient.

“Thank you Inquisitor, we have an understanding of how you view the Magister,” Archon Radonis said. “We have no further questions for you.” Radonis motioned for an escort to retrieve Ellana. “You are dismissed.” 

“Thank you,” Ellana quickly bowed and was escorted out of the room. She turned back to see what they thought from their facial expressions. The faces looked unsure, and a Magister looked pleased. Pleased of what, Ellana would never know. As she followed her escort back to her waiting room she passed by a familiar face. “Varric?” Ellana asked.

“Sunbeam, good to see you again,” Varric smiled. The pair hugged.

“What are you doing here?”

“Did I never mention?” Varric asked. “Maevaris is my cousin’s widow. I am one of the character witnesses.” 

Ellana looked at Varric in shock. “No, you never mentioned it—”

“Hey, you live with Dorian right?” Varric interrupted. “I will stop by after my testimony. See you then.” Ellana watched in shock as Varric continued walking with his escort. 

***

Dorian arrived that evening with Varric in company. Ellana had returned much earlier than the two of them and had changed into something more casual. The pair found her in the main sitting room reading a letter from Morrigan, who may have been writing from the voice of Mythal if the greeting was any indication. This letter read:

To my dearest Ellana, from a mother to her distant child, who is no less beloved than those who came before,

I have spent many months listening and negotiating with Mythal and we have come to an understanding. I maintain my autonomy and she allows me to teach others her wisdom as I wish. I understand that many, many moons have passed since you and I retrieved Mythal’s crown and your conversation with the goddess. I also understand that you left my home with more questions than answers and was disappointed with that.

I am happy to say that I am ready and able to explain some things to you, especially concerning your lost love, who, it might surprise you to learn, that you share with Mythal—

Ellana was unable to finish reading the lengthy letter. But from what she read so far, she could assume that her questions were finally going to be answered. What this meant for her and the future, she was unsure, but she wanted to give the letter the attention it deserved. Thus, she folded the paper up and stuffed it in her breast band.

“Ellana! We have returned,” she heard Dorian call as they entered the sitting room. Behind Dorian followed Varric who looked tired but happy to see her. 

“Sunbeam, nice to see you again,” Varric nodded.

“I was surprised to see Varric today,” Ellana added, looking between Varric and Dorian. “How do you know Maevaris again?”

“She is my cousin’s widow. We have had plenty of interactions before and after she became a Magister,” Varric explained. 

“Varric had a lot of information for the Magisterium, it was a joy to see how they did not even notice when they were being talked in circles,” Dorian praised. “Wonderful show you gave Varric.” Varric laughed at Dorian’s support. “Varric is staying the evening with us, he has to finish his testimony tomorrow.”

“Wow, I was in there for barely five minutes and you need two days?” Ellana sounded shocked and annoyed. But she was annoyed at how poorly she must have done in comparison to Varric.

“Well, about ten minutes in, the magisterium needed to take an extended break from the session,” Dorian explained. “Magister Renata received word that there was a breakout in one of her slave dwellings…”

“Lucerni?”

“No, not us…Maevaris had no idea either,” Dorian said thoughtfully. “But, that meant Varric had to start late and will finish tomorrow.”

“How is Maevaris?” Ellana asked.

“She is okay, very concerned,” Dorian answered. “Your testimony was okay. You were clearly backed into a corner. But, it also wasn’t bad.”

Ellana huffed in disappointment. Dorian excused him and Varric, so that he could show him his room for the evening. When Ellana was alone, she pulled out her letter and started reading, from the top:

To my dearest Ellana, from a mother to her distant child, who is no less beloved than those who came before,

I have spent many months listening and negotiating with Mythal and we have come to an understanding. I maintain my autonomy and she allows me to teach others her wisdom as I wish. I understand that many, many moons have passed since you and I retrieved Mythal’s crown and your conversation with the goddess. I also understand that you left my home with more questions than answers and was disappointed with that.

I am happy to say that I am ready and able to explain some things to you, especially concerning your lost love, who, it might surprise you to learn, that you share with Mythal. Mythal knew Solas long ago before the creation of Arlathan, as he was her companion spirit. She had urged him to leave the Fade and join her in having a body in order to give wisdom to the people. Before he had a body, he was called Wisdom, after he had a body, he was known as Solas, and later the Dread Wolf. 

They spent millennia together until they had a disagreement that led to a rebellion against her. From there, their relationship was strained, until he came to her to ask her to petition the Evanuris. However, as you know, the Evanuris murdered her for doing so. From there, Mythal’s spirit was shattered and her pieces survived the years through hosts. One of which was my mother and now, me. 

Regarding the Blight, the fault of which is on all those involved, including Mythal and including Solas. But, those memories are reserved for me and those alive who experienced it. However, the wrongs they did, they did together, and Solas does not understand that the burden he bears, he needs not to bear alone. I believe he can be redeemed if given the opportunity, if you are that opportunity then I support whatever you choose. 

• Morrigan 

Ellana did not know what to make of this letter, but she recognized the feelings that it invoked within her. Morrigan had wrote:

…Mythal knew Solas long ago before the creation of Arlathan, as he was her companion spirit. She had urged him to leave the Fade and join her in having a body in order to give wisdom to the people…

That meant Solas was originally a spirit, but was possessing a body or did he choose to come like Cole. Who was the person whose body Solas took? Or did she take one…Mythal and the Evanuris created the Elvhen, did she create the person who Solas is? Ellana groaned in frustration, wishing Solas was here to answer her questions. She shook her head knowing if he was here, he would not answer them anyway. 

From the wording, Solas was formed after the Elvhen were already created. But why did they need wisdom…Solas was a wisdom spirit. But Solas means pride, Ellana thought to herself. When twisted from their purpose, wisdom spirits turn to pride demons, Solas explained that to her, as it was what happened to his friend. Does that mean Solas is a demon? 

Another thing Morrigan wrote, stood out to Ellana:

…Regarding the Blight, the fault of which is on all those involved, including Mythal and including Solas…However, the wrongs they did, they did together…

The Blight…

“You look like you saw a ghost.” Ellana lifted her head to find Varric standing in front of her. She did not hear him approach and was startled by his voice. Ellana gripped those pages of the letter, but relaxed a bit when she realized she was in no danger.

“Oh Varric, it’s you,” Ellana took a breath. “You startled me. I was just reading and thinking.”

“Would you like to talk about it?” he asked, sitting down next to her.

“Maybe,” she shrugged. “I wanted to catch up with you though. It's been years since we last spoke in person.”

“I’m not that interesting,” he said. “Things have been okay since I was voted Viscount. Had a few run-ins with Tessa and Charter. Maevaris stopped by once or twice. Red lyrium running amuck in the streets. The good news is that reconstruction efforts have been fruitful. But, I can’t believe it’s been four years, but I guess time flies when you're not patching holes in the sky.”

Varric smirked at Ellana who smiled back at him. “After the Exalted Council, I figured you’d vanish into the sunset, and you did, for a while, but Dorian explained that that was not true. You’ve been pretty busy.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I am an active member of the Lucerni, tracking down Venatori and stopping Qunari invasions. We’ve even found evidence of red lyrium in the Fade.”

“Wow,” he balked, nodding as if impressed. 

“I’m glad I’m still alive,” Ellana reflected. “Had multiple run-ins with Solas’ agents, which was equally strange and exciting…”

Varric nodded at her words. There was a slight pause. “There you both are!” Dorian called from the entryway, breaking the awkward silence. “I guess I should have checked here first. Dinner is ready.” Ellana was appreciative of the interruption because she was not sure if she ever talked to Varric about her hunt for Solas or that she was still in love with the man. A part of her was nervous about what Varric would think of her and how he would respond.

The three of them sat at the dining room table and were served their meal. Varric looked up at the staff member as they placed his meal. With an eyebrow raised, he turned towards Dorian and asked, “I thought you had freed your slaves, Sparkler?”

“I did,” Dorian said, rolling his eyes. “I gave many an opportunity to return as paid labor. Which many accepted.” Dorian took a bite of his food.

“I see,” Varric gave Ellana a side-eye glanced. The meal was quiet until he asked, “So, Sunbeam, what was that letter you were reading, seemed interesting.”

This caught Dorian’s attention who suddenly seemed more engrossed in their conversation than he did his meal. Since all eyes were on her, Ellana answered, “It was a letter from Morrigan about Mythal.” 

After it was clear Ellana did not plan to continue, Dorian chimed in, “And what did she say?” He turned towards Varric. “Last year, Ellana went to visit Morrigan and now they are the best of friends. Morrigan has all these memories from the Elvhen god Mythal and has all these very interesting memories from Elvhenan.”

Ellana looked towards Varric hesitantly. “She has been helping me understand Solas so it’s easier to track him down…”

“Oh,” Varric responded, while taking a sip from a wine glass. “You’re still hoping Chuckles changes his mind?”

“Change his mind about the Veil, yes,” Ellana clarified. She secretly still hoped that he would change his mind about her but she was not going to voice that. There was also a part of her that may not have believed he would be willing to reconcile a relationship with her. 

“So what did you learn?” Dorian asked, sounding as if he was growing impatient. 

“Solas was not born, he was a wisdom spirit, who now lives in a body. He put the Veil up as punishment to the Evanuris for murdering Mythal. He now wants to pull it down because he sees it as a mistake he made. That’s all I know,” there was more, but that was all Ellana wanted to tell.

Dorian and Varric looked at her in shock. “He is a spirit, like Cole was?” Varric asked after a moment of consideration.

“Maybe,” she shrugged. 

“And this helps our cause, how?” Dorian prodded.

Ellana shrugged a second time. “I wanted to see if I can use any information to find common ground and show that I understand…but I don’t know how to find him. When he visits me, he summons me, but waiting for him to do that will be a waste of time.” Varric gave Dorian a look, probably due to the information about the visits. Dorian shook his head.

Ellana continued, “Doesn’t Tevinter have resources that the mages use to enter the Fade? Maybe I can use one of those…” It seemed like Ellana was talking more to herself than the two men.

“How do you even know about that?” Dorian asked, exacerbated. 

“Please, I have to at least try. When the world is ending, I want to be able to say that I tried everything to save it,” she pleaded.

“It will involve blood magic,” he warned.

“I don’t care.”

“Fine,” Dorian took a breath. “Give me a few days to get the ingredients. And then once the trial is over, we can give this the attention it deserves.” 

“Wait…why would Morrigan tell you these things about Solas?” Varric asked. “Did she give you any information about Mythal? And Mythal was also her mother right?” Ellana looked at Varric suspiciously. “I am asking because back in Kirkwall, Hawke and I had a run-in with her. She stored herself in an amulet in case Morrigan killed her. Her mother, not Mythal, well maybe Mythal…this is screwed up.” Varric rubbed his neck in misunderstanding. 

“Varric is right in his suspicion, Ellana,” Dorian said, supporting Varric. “If Solas was once a spirit, then was Mythal once a spirit as well? And a spirit of what, exactly. Do you have this letter with you now?” Ellana nodded. “Good, give it here.” Ellana handed Dorian the letter and he read it over. “He was her companion spirit, who rebelled against her? And what’s this about causing the Blight? These are all half-truth’s…” Dorian handed the letter to Varric who took it before Ellana could attempt to get it back. “If you want to contact Solas, fine, but I do not trust Mythal, and neither should you.”

***

The trial lasted another month and resulted in the prosecution of Magister Maevaris Tilani. Fortunately, Maevaris was not executed for treason nor was her wealth taken away, but she was stripped of her title of Magister and the Lucerni became illegal to operate. The resulting blow, crippled Maevaris’ and Dorian’s work with liberating those oppressed in Tevinter. 

This took Dorian away from his estate for most of the next month. Every now and then, he would drop in and ask Ellana to complete favors for him and Maevaris. In the free time, Ellana had written and sent Morrigan a reply letter, which read:

Morrigan,

Thank you for being willing to explain these questions I had. Words cannot express what insights you were able to give me. I plan to follow-up with some of these things.

Your words sparked new questions such as, if Mythal was a spirit as well and if she also took a body. If so, I am interested in learning what type of spirit she was. Lastly, I wonder what were the circumstances in Arlathan that would need a wisdom spirit to take a body to help lead the People. Regarding the Blight, if Mythal is unwilling to share more information about it, could she point me to someone who may be willing to share. 

• Ellana

Ellana was content with the letter she had sent and hoped that Morrigan would reply. She wondered if she was prying into Mythal’s personal business, but what is the point of a resource if that resource is unwilling to share their knowledge. Oh well, Ellana thought to herself.

Dorian arrived that evening, with ingredients to help Ellana traverse the Fade as a Somniari. He cut the tip of her finger and drew some of her blood. Mixing the ingredients together, he made a potion for her to drink. “Are you sure about this?” he asked her a final time.

“More than sure,” she answered for what felt like the hundredth time since she asked him to do this. 

“Okay, I will sit with you in case something bad happens,” he explained. “You’ll get into bed and drink the potion. Sleep should come over you quickly. If something were to occur, I will be able to wake you, but if you could wake yourself, that would be good too. Any questions?”

“Are you expecting something to happen?”

“No, but it’s blood magic, it’s never without risk,” Dorian seemed concerned for his friend. She knew that he disapproved of her continuing to seek out Solas. But, Dorian supported her regardless and Ellana appreciated that.

Ellana laid back in her bed and pulled the covers up around her. Dorian laid on the other side of her, above the covers and handed her the vial of liquid. She closed her eyes as she drank the contents in a single sip. The liquid was warm and tasted slightly metallic. When it ran down her throat it burned and Ellan struggled not to cough. 

Handing the vile to Dorian, she laid her head against her pillow and closed her eyes. She took some deep breaths, allowing the liquid to settle in her stomach. Not too long after sleep overcame her.

***

The dream was instantly different from a normal dream. She felt the magic of the Fade empowering her. She closed her eyes and imagined Crestwood. When she opened her eyes, there before her stood two large Elk, the grotto where her heart was broken. Ellana nodded her head in satisfaction, she would use this place as the backdrop of their conversation. But, she was unsure how to summon Solas. 

Ellana closed her eyes and tried to think extremely hard about him. Mentally trying to call out to him as if using a sending crystal. She felt no response from the Fade, so she tried another approach. Next, Ellana used her emotions, she thought of their relationship and what it had meant. She even tried to conjure the memory of Crestwood. She used the memory of losing their child. She even tried imagining the last time they were intimate with one another.

After what felt like an eternity, Ellana felt a familiar shift in the Fade. In the corner of her dream sat a wolf, with six eyes, it stared at her silently. The wolf approached her slowly and sat at her heels. It was watching her to see what would happen. Ellana reckoned Solas was trying to discern if she was lucid and intentionally pulling him here. “Welcome wolf,” Ellana greeted, petting the wolf on its head. “I know who you are, you need not hide from me.” The wolf tilted its head and with a flash of light, transformed into the man she was all too familiar with.

“How are you doing this?” Solas asked inquisitively. He held his head at a slight angle, like a puppy looking at something new. He was genuinely intrigued.

“Blood magic,” Ellana answered with a smirk on his face. Her grin deepened when she saw a displeased frown forming as a response. “I wanted to talk to you about something important and couldn’t wait for your whims to bring you to me.” Solas stood silently, he looked tired. His state caused Ellana to want to reach out to him and care for him. “Are you okay?”

“I am fine,” he answered quicker than a person who was being honest would. “What was so important that you would employ blood magic to bring me here?” Solas looked around, noticing the place they were in. When the memories registered, he looked hurt and as if he no longer wanted to be there. 

Ellana stepped closer to him and reached out to touch him on his chest. He was wearing black leather armor, which noticeably accentuated his figure. Ellana tried not to stare. “I wanted to ask you some things about being a spirit.” She looked at his face to read his reaction, he made no indication of understanding. So, she continued, “specifically being a wisdom spirit.” He lifted his brow in response. Was he putting the pieces together, Ellana was unsure. 

“You want to know things about wisdom spirits?” His arms were crossed behind his back and her hand had yet to leave his chest.

“I want to know about you being a wisdom spirit and how you’ve come to have a body,” she clarified, earning a pained look from the man. “And I want you to not dismiss, lie, or ignore any of my questions that make you uncomfortable.”

“You have Morrigan, ask her,” he said, taking a step back so that Ellana’s hand lost contact with him.

“No, it’s your story and your life, I want you to tell me.” She could tell he was pulling away. If she did not act soon, he would leave entirely. Suddenly, she moved towards him and grasped his face. “Please Solas, if it’s painful, let me know, please stop hiding yourself from me.” His face showed no reaction, it was like he could not hear her. She kissed him, quickly and lightly. “At least let me tell you what I know.”

His face continued to show no indication that he was listening, but he did nod. Ellana continued, choosing the way she worked her sentences carefully, “I was told that you were once a spirit of wisdom, asked to leave the Fade to provide wisdom to the Elvhen. You were Mythal’s companion spirit, and once you had a body, you served with her for a millennia. Until you rebelled against her. Then some time passed and stuff happened and she died. You then raised the Veil as a consequence and a punishment. Now, realizing your mistake, you seek to tear it down.” She looked up at him, hesitantly, as if concerned she hurt his feelings.

“Succinctly put…” he responded, stone faced. “Is that all you learned?”

“I know you blame yourself for something that has to do with the Blight, but Morrigan hasn’t explained or avoids explaining to me any of what that means,” Ellana shrugged.

“Hmmm,” Solas hummed. “And you have questions about this?” He looked like his back stiffened, if he could get any stiffer.

“Is it true?”

“Yes.”

“You always told me how much you loved the Fade, why would you leave and why the name Solas?”

Solas took a deep breath and relaxed slightly. He looked around and then focused his eyes on her. He sat down on the ground, pulling her down with him by her prosthetic wrist. “Mythal asked me to come and I trusted her, so I did. As you said, we were companion spirits. My connection to her was stronger than my love for the Fade, and she promised that I could share wisdom. I was a wise spirit. It was my purpose to share wisdom.”

“Did she lie to you?” She sat next to him, her shoulder leaning against him, but not looking at him. They both looked forward to the grotto in front of them.

“No, she was just not as honest as I wish she would have been.”

“Why the name Solas?”

“Pride for the People, Pride of Mythal.”

“Did you get to choose your name?” She turned to look at him, her eyes shining with curiosity.

“I did…”

“Did it occur to you the irony that wisdom spirits twisted in purpose turn to pride?”

“Hmmm, are you asking if I am a demon?” He turned to her, his eyes serious. He moved as if he wanted to stand.

Panicking and realizing she said something wrong, Ellana reached over to grab him by the arm, hoping to stop him from standing. “No, of course not. I would never think that.”

He stopped his ascent and sat back down next to her. “Then what do you think?”

“I don’t know, I was hoping that you would tell me and I would form an opinion after.” She had yet to let go of his arm. He did not respond. “I have another question.”

“Yes.”

“Were you in love with Mythal?” She felt the muscles of his arms stiffen at the question. “I mean, you raised the Veil in your grief to punish her murderers. You left the Fade you loved because she asked you to…”

“You won’t understand if I try to explain it. To make it simple, I loved her, yes. Was I in love with her, the way you understand the concept? No, only you.” He looked at her then and she saw in his eyes that he was telling her the truth. “She was my friend.”

Ellana released his arm and lowered her hands so that she was holding his hands. Their faces were inches apart and Ellana really wanted to kiss him again. He did not react the first time, but the intimacy of their conversation drew her to him again. But she did not attempt to kiss him, “If she was only your friend, why choose her over me?”

“Is that what you think of me?” Ellana realized she said something wrong again, but he made no indication that he planned to create space between them. “I know what it was like before and what it is like now. I showed you, remember. I want you to live in a world where you're not at the bottom and the magic that flows through you isn’t wrong or dangerous. Don’t you want to live in a place where humans don’t arrest you off the streets because they don’t think you belong there.”

How did he know about Tevinter? Ellana looked at him in surprise. “How would…” Right, he must still have his agents following her. “You want to show me that you’re right. And how can you show me this if I’m dead?”

“You assumed you wouldn’t survive, I said no such thing.” If he was being dishonest, Ellana was not sure, she was unsure if he knew whether or not he was being honest.

Ellana felt the urge to change the subject, she did not want to push too far. But she did want to know what it was like to take a body. “I have one last question.”

“Ask.”

“It is in a spirit’s nature to listen to calls to its purpose. And before you’ve told me you long for an opportunity to be proven wrong.” She turned her body towards his. “You always like the way I surprised you,” Ellana took a breath to build up confidence to ask her question. “Would you be open to entertaining the possibility that I may be able to prove you wrong again?”

“Of course, Vhenan.” And that was all it took for her to jump. Literally jump into his lap. If there was going to be anyone who could save the world, save the Dread Wolf, it would be her. He received her with open arms, his hands resting at her hips. They kissed and this time, his body responded. It had been six long years of wanting. They kissed for a long time, every inch of Ellana’s body yearned for more. But, Solas pulled back. “We shouldn’t do this again. Joining would serve us no purpose but to encourage something that shouldn’t be.”

“But…you said I could try.”

“Not like this,” but he took no action to push her off him. “You mentioned the Blight, start there.” Suddenly there was a flash of light and then darkness. Ellana woke.

***

She woke with a pounding headache and an insane thirst. She broke out in a cough, her throat too dry to speak. “Hold on, I’ll get you some water.” Dorian dashed out the room and returned a few seconds later with a cup of water. Dorian gave her a few moments to collect herself and then asked, “What did he say?”

“My head…”

“Right, almost forgot, that is a side effect.” Dorian reached over and grabbed another vial off the side-table. “Drink this.” Ellana drank the contents of the vial and instantly her headache dissipated. “Feel better?”

“Yes,” she took a few deep breaths, closing her eyes to help reorient herself from the headache and the rush of adrenaline the dream left her with. Opening her eyes, Ellana continued, “I saw Solas, he admitted everything.” Ellana left out the more scandalous details.

“Was he willing to stop his plan?”

“No…but he was willing to accept another way, we just need to figure out a better plan.”

“A better plan than just not killing everyone?”

“Yes,” Ellana answered, understanding that her answers were probably not sufficient. “He gave me a place to start.” Dorian looked at her expectantly. “The Blight.”

“What about it?”

“Nothing specific, I know he blames himself for it, so does Mythal. But neither told me why. Mythal hinted that there seemed to be others involved.”

Dorian looked confused. “But the Blight is Grey Warden secrets, so how would we get them to give us the information?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

Dorian offered some information. “The Chantry teaches that the Blight is a punishment of the Maker upon the Magisters who breached and corrupted the Golden City. The Archdemons are the Old Gods tainted by the Blight via darkspawn.” Ellana listened intently considering Dorian’s words.

“When I was visiting with Morrigan, she helped me translate some plaques we found at Mythal’s temple. It was about the Void, and how Andruil put on armor made from void, made weapons of darkness, and a plague ate her lands. Hold on, it's in my journal.” She got up and went to her pack, ruffling though she was able to find the journal she dedicated to Ancient Elvhen scripts. “Here,” she said, returning to the bed.

Dorian took the journal and read the translation out loud: 

“One day Andruil grew tired of hunting mortal men and beasts. She began stalking the Forgotten Ones, wicked things that thrive in the abyss. Yet even a god should not linger there, and each time she entered the Void, Andruil suffered longer and longer periods of madness after returning.

Andruil put on armor made of the Void, and all forgot her true face. She made weapons of darkness, and plague ate her lands. She howled things meant to be forgotten, and the other gods became fearful Andruil would hunt them in turn. So Mythal spread rumors of a monstrous creature and took the form of a great serpent, waiting for Andruil at the base of a mountain.

When Andruil came, Mythal sprang on the hunter. They fought for three days and nights, Andruil slashing deep gouges in the serpent's hide. But Mythal's magic sapped Andruil's strength and stole her knowledge of how to find the Void. After this, the great hunter could never make her way back to the abyss, and peace returned.”

“When Cullen came with us to raid the Shrine of Dumat,” Ellana added. “We came across some memories of Corypheus. I have a journal, hold on.” Ellana went back over to her pack and found another journal, one which held interesting information about Corypheus. 

“Isn’t that my journal?” Dorian asked, surprised and a little angry.

“Yes, I stole it, I’m sorry,” she apologized. She flipped through the journal until she found what she was looking for. “But look, you wrote, that Corypheus claims to have brought darkness into the world, and to have discovered the darkness. He claimed it as his own, letting it permeate his being.” Ellana handed the journal to its owner. “Do you think these refer to the same darkness?”

“Corypheus was Blighted, that’s how he was able to survive and switch bodies, to those also Blighted. The Grey Wardens…who sip of Darkspawn blood. Fascinating.”

“So, Andruil was making Blighted weapons and spreading the Blight throughout her lands and Mythal had to stop her. So, where did the Blight come from if they were dealing with it during Arlathan?” 

Ellana and Dorian looked at each other, as if the other expected them to answer the question. “We need a Warden…do we know any Wardens?” Dorian asked.

“Not a Warden officially, but we have Thom Rainier,” Ellana answered hopefully.

***

Harvestmere , 9:48 Dragon. After a few months of searching and finally being able to convince him to set time aside to meet, Ellana was able to meet with Thom Rainier. They met at Cullen’s sanctuary, one because it is nice and safe, and two, because Thom had brought a couple Templars there he found wasting away from Lyrium intoxication. 

In Thom’s letter he seemed surprised but happy to hear from her. He reiterated his thankfulness that he was shown mercy and set himself on a path of redemption. He had spent the last five years sharing mercy and compassion on others who also did not deserve forgiveness. Thom told Ellana how he had been travelling all over Thedas, giving hope to the condemned and the forgotten. He had hope to instill faith and hope in those he had none. He wrote to her stories of conversion, stories of hope, and stories of potential. 

In Cullen’s letter to Ellana about Thom, he hoped to give some context on how the years treated him and how Thom was feeling about meeting her again. Cullen explained to her why it took so long for them to meet, that Thom was feeling hesitant because he was still ashamed about the situation he had put Ellana in during the Inquisition. That even though Thom had done more than enough to atone for his mistakes, he still felt wrong, as a man. This letter made Ellana sad. She wondered why Thom felt this way about her, like he needed to prove he was worthy of being in her presence. 

She mulled over these thoughts while she stood in the courtyard of the Templar sanctuary. She was alone this time, even though she had traveled with Dorian and Charter. After leaving her in the Hinterlands, the other two continued their journey to Rivain. Dorian to meet with Iron Bull for a vacation, and Charter to…Ellana was unsure. 

It had been two years since she visited Cullen and two years since they overstepped the boundaries of friendship. Ellana could not help but be nervous, even though she knew that Cullen had since began a relationship with someone else. Despite the unwanted feelings that arose within her, she tried to look stoic.

Looking around the front courtyard, things looked the same as she remembered. She saw that they still used for farming, and were in the early stages of growing Fall vegetables. Some ex-templars tilled the soil, and Ellana still felt those same magical wards keeping unwanted guests away. As she stood by the gate, some of the Templars nodded their greetings, especially the ones that had served the Inquisition. Ellana noticed that some of the other staff at the sanctuary had faces that she remembered from the Inquisition as well. She was happy to see that Cullen was able to provide these men and women a new opportunity after the war. 

The gate doors opened, with a very happy Cullen Rutherford being followed by a very nervous Thom Rainier. Cullen looked as handsome as he did two years ago, only two years older. Thom’s transformation was a bit more noticeable. Having not participated in active service for a long while, he was smaller but still in shape. He cut his beard, so that it clung closer to his face, he also had cut his hair shorter. Thom must have been spending a considerable amount of time outside, because he was tanner than what Ellana remembered. But, most importantly, despite his nervousness, he looked happy, his blue eyes shining bright.

“Ellana!” Cullen greeted, with both arms wide. Ellana hugged him with equal amounts of enthusiasm.

After they broke the hug, she turned to Thom. “Good to see you again,” Ellana greeted, opening her arms to welcome a hug from the man.

Returning her affection, Thom replied, “Yes, it is good to see you again as well. It’s been a long time.” Ellana thought it was interesting, he did not sound as nervous as he looked, he did not sound nervous at all. 

Cullen motioned to follow him, to which they obliged. “I set up for us to be able to have lunch together in the cafeteria, and don’t worry, it's outside eating hours, so no one should interrupt us.”

As they followed, Ellana spoke up wanting to congratulate Cullen on his relationship. Cullen had been courting Josephine for about a year, to which Ellana was happy about. The two seemed like they got along really well during the Inquisition, but at the time, she was with Thom. Cullen followed her suggestion to reach out to her and then they began courting. A few days prior to her travels, she had received a letter from Josephine announcing that the two planned to wed sometime next year in Antiva. “Congratulations Cullen on your engagement,” Ellana commenced, while they walked towards their lunch.

“Oh, thank you,” Cullen said, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing towards Thom.

Ellana, not picking up on his tone or body language continued, “Yes, you and Josephine make a beautiful pair.”

“Josephine?” Thom asked, confused and shocked. He looked hurt and bewildered. Many emotions crossed his face all at once. “You didn’t tell me you were seeing anyone, let alone…”

“Yes, um,” Cullen said, trying to manage the tension that was building. “Ellana, I had not had the chance to tell Thom that I started seeing Josephine. You may have remembered that they were in a very…relationship during the war.”

“No, it’s not my business,” Thom countered, waving his hand to diffuse the situation but still not sounding happy. “Whoever she finds happiness is not my concern…even if it's with my friend. Even so, you should have told me.”

Cullen did not say anything else and neither did Ellana. Ellana did not realize that Cullen had not told Thom about Josephine. Maybe she should have asked before announcing it. Whatever should have happened, it was too late. Ellana hoped that she did not ruin neither their friendship nor their working relationship. Ellana, feeling embarrassed and tense, followed behind the two men in silence. 

The table Cullen set up for their lunch was nice. There were three settings placed along the large, long stone table. Cullen and Ellana sat on one side, while Thom sat on the other. When they approached, Cullen nodded to one of the staff to bring out the plates and some ale. 

Thom still seemed down, but he no longer looked nervous. “So, how have things been for you since the Exalted Council, Thom?” Ellana asked, hoping to move the conversation to something less awkward. 

“Just helping those who can’t help themselves,” he said dryly. But after a moment, he started relaxing. “In addition to finding Templars, I also recruited quite a few people into the Wardens. After Corypheus their numbers plummeted, but it is slowly growing again.”

“Do you have any stories?” she asked curiously while taking a bite of food.

“Sure,” he answered. Thom thought for a minute about what to share and then said, “I came across a farm in Northern Ferelden that was having some issues with bandits. There was a man, his wife, and his two sons and their families. The men were afraid that the bandits would eventually kill their wives and children as a result of their greed. So, I spent two months with the family teaching them how to defend themselves and their land. I hope they are doing well.”

Ellana nodded in reverence. Thom seemed to really be helping people, so she was confused why he still felt like he was not enough. “Have you kept in touch with Sera?”

“Yes, I met up with her in Denerim. She completes tasks for the Divine now,” he answered, smiling.

“Don’t forget that when you come dropping off Templars, you usually stay for a few weeks volunteering,” Cullen added.

“Yes, I guess I do that too,” he said, nodding towards Ellana. “What have you been up to, other than saving the world?”

“Oh you know, hunting mad men and infiltrating the Tevinter Imperium from the inside,” Ellana shrugged, earning a laugh from both men. “But, I have my eyes set on something new now…”

“Which is why you needed to talk to me?” Thom asked.

“Yes, I need help contacting the Wardens,” she answered. 

Thom’s face suddenly turned very serious. He looked nervous again and glanced towards Cullen. Cullen was stone faced, but his eyes shone with curiosity. “Why do you need to contact the Wardens?” he asked.

“I want to learn their opinion of the Blight, where it starts and how it originated. Unless you know that information…” Ellana suggested hoping he did know that information. The look on his face suggested he did not. “Are there any Wardens that you have good standing with, you know with all things considered…”

“I frequently refer the prospects to Jader,” he suggested. “Maybe they’ll return a favor. It’s in Orlais on the border with Ferelden.”

“Yes, I remember. I think we sent Josephine there during the war at King Therin’s request,” Cullen chimed in, earning a look from Thom at the sound of Josephine’s name. Cullen saw the look he received and moved on. “Lady Seryl leads Jader. She was sympathetic to Empress Celene but she did aid the Inquisition when we sieged Adamant Fortress. We also sent forces into Jader to investigate a possible abomination. Lady Seryl is in your debt even if she disagrees with your support of the Emperor.” 

“Jader...well then,” Ellana considered. “Thom, would you mind accompanying me to Jader?”

Chapter Text

Story Five

Guardian, 9:49 Dragon. The journey to Jader took longer than expected. Thom and Ellana had decided to stay at the sanctuary for the rest of Harvestmere through the end of Haring, dealing with an uptake of bandits and magical activity in the region, that of which Cullen did not inform Ellana. Apparently since she found the tainted Eluvian, there had been other Eluvians found, and much more magical activity in the area than there was before. Thus, Ellana felt that it was the responsibility that she, Cullen, and Blackwall, as well as Charter, when she showed back up, stabilize the area. Fortunately, by the middle of Wintermarch Ellana arrived in Jader. Along with Thom, Charter had tagged along, interested in the secrets of the Blight as well. 

In early Wintermarch, Ellana sent a request to Briala to have Emperor Gaspard send a letter to Lady Seryl announcing their visit and to welcome them with open arms. Ellana had also sent a letter to Divine Victoria asking if she would put in a good word for her to Lady Seryl as well. Though, she was unsure if the letter was ever received because she never received a response. 

Lady Seryl had been a gracious host as they waited to hear from the Wardens. Thus far, they have been waiting all of the month of Guardian for an invitation from the Grey Wardens. When they first arrived at the Grey Warden fortress they were turned away, well, more like laughed away. When Ellana introduced herself as the Inquisitor, they were more respectful, but they still turned them away. She thought that bringing Thom may help since he had recruited many Wardens, but they also remembered his fraud, and they still held it against him.

Ellana was sitting at the desk in her assigned room. On the desk in front of her sat the latest correspondence from the Jader Warden-Commander Pavlin. They had been sending communications back and forth, with Ellana trying to convince the commander to give her a chance to petition herself. Ellana was optimistic about this letter because it seemed she was finally wearing the Warden-Commander down. 

She was about to open the letter when she heard a knock at the door. Confused, she stood and walked over to the door, opening it slightly and peering out. To her surprise, on the other side of the door stood no one else but Cassandra Pentaghast and standing behind her was…Cole.

Ellana almost lost her breath at the sight, the shock of the reveal suddenly making her feel lightheaded. Cassandra reached out to her, but she caught herself saying, “Creators.” And then the tears started. Cole was the first to make a move, he all but tackled Ellana in the tightest hug she had ever received. 

“Cole, let her breathe,” Cassandra laughed, moving into the room and closing the door behind her. 

“What are you both doing here?” Ellana asked once Cole let go of her.

“The Grand Cathedral of Val Royeaux received a letter asking for Chantry support in Jader from a very special leader,” Cassandra answered, producing the letter Ellana sent from her pouch.

“I am here because I’ve come to help,” Cole answered. “And I’ve missed Faith and Sun.”

Ellana had come to learn that Faith was Cole’s nickname for Cassandra, and she assumed she was the Sun, since he liked to tell her how bright she burned. “What about Maryden?” Ellana asked.

“We are no longer able to help each other. We now help others separately…” he looked sad, and his face looked broken when he announced they were no longer together.

“I’m so sorry Cole,” she sympathized while pushing back his hair, which was shorter than when she last saw him at the Exalted Council. “There can be others if you allow your heart to stay open.”

“Unlike you?” Cole called her out.

“Cole, not appropriate,” Cassandra chastised. They walked to the table with Ellana and Cassandra taking a seat at a chair by the desk. Cole sat on the bed. “So, catch us up.”

“Well, as you know I am here to meet with the Grey Wardens. Other than that, I’ve been busy hunting mad men and overthrowing the Tevinter Imperium.”

Cole smiled at her and maintained eye contact like he knew what she meant. Ellana was unsure if he could still read minds, but her question was answered when he replied, “Sometimes, but only if I choose to listen.”

Ellana nodded, “I can tell you, if you ask. I’d prefer it if you asked.”

“He keeps doing that, says it's more efficient,” Cassandra complained. 

“Anyway, Cassandra, it’s your turn,” Ellana pointed at her to go next.

“Serving the Divine and reestablishing the Seekers. All very strenuous work, but spiritually fulfilling,” Cassandra explained. “Cole’s turn.”

“I’ve been learning more about being human. There are many pleasures and pains that come with having a body,” he said. Then he paused for a minute, looking unsure if he should share what he wanted to say.

“You can say it Cole,” Ellana encouraged.

“No, I will tell you later,” Cole hummed. “What is that?” He pointed to the open letter sitting on the desk. 

“Letter from the Warden-Commander, I have yet to read it,” Ellana answered, grabbing the letter. She looked at it, as her two friends looked at her, listening. She read:

“Inquisitor Lavellan

I am sorry for the delay and how I have been intentionally avoiding your request to meet. The continued silence from the Wardens in the West and the Darkspawn activity in the North has continued to draw my attention elsewhere. I am sorry, but we won’t be able to have our meeting. This is my final decision.

Warden-Commander Pavlin”

“Fenedhis,” Ellana swore as she threw the letter onto the table. “Cassandra, can you go find Charter and Thom?” Cassandra nodded and moved to leave the room. Once the door was closed, Ellana turned to Cole. “What was it you wanted to tell me? It seemed private.”

Cole moved to the empty seat and then turned towards Ellana. “I saw Solas in Rivain in Dairsmuid. Maryden and I were there to play music in one of the main markets.”

“What did he do?”

“Nothing, he only looked, and he smiled. I knew it was him because, well, it's Solas. He is very bright and very loud. He was still full of pain, and he still didn’t want to stop. He was different though, there was another light in him, different from his light. Same color as Morrigan.”

“When was this, and what do you mean the same as Morrigan?”

“I saw him two years ago,” Cole answered. “Solas and Morrigan have the same light in them, like the light that Morrigan got from Mythal’s temple.”

With eyes widened, she sat looking at Cole in shock. Somehow Solas was able to obtain Mythal’s essence or a piece of her shattered spirit. In that moment Ellana realized that when she was spending those months with Morrigan, she never once ran into Flemeth, even when they were dwelling near the Mythal altars. And Morrigan never mentioned her mother. Ellana wondered if Morrigan even noticed the absence. 

There was no time for Ellana to respond as there was a single knock at the door and Cassandra returned with Thom and Charter. “I found them,” Cassandra announced. “Chairs are a bit scarce; you'll have to take the bed or floor.” Cassandra looked at Cole as if she wanted him to move, but he ignored her. Rolling her eyes, she sat on the floor.

Ellana chuckled to herself, wondering how long they had been traveling together before arriving at her door. They seem a bit more familiar than she remembered them being. “I was surprised to open my door and see Seeker Pentaghast and I guess now Cole,” Thom said leaning against the wall, arms folded. 

“We have bad news,” Ellana announced. “The Wardens will not help us.”

“You’re joking,” Charter complained, leaning back onto her hands, her legs stretched in front of her. 

“All we’ve done for the Wardens,” Cassandra pointed out. “If it weren’t for the Inquisition the Wardens would be nothing, only history. And now they won’t even meet.”

“We could try another stronghold,” Thom offered. “The Wardens are fractured; we should extend some grace.”

“It remembers what it was, and wants to sing again,” Cole murmured, staring into the floor.

“What are you talking about?” Ellana asked.

“Lady Seryl was telling me about a dig site on the outskirts of the city,” Charter chimed in, her eyes scrunched closed, as if deep in thought. “She is funding an excavation in order to open a museum of the city’s history. She mentioned that there was a stone vault found, but the markings were ancient, and the archeologists were fearful of opening it due to the magic radiating from inside. We could volunteer our services; it might lead to something of interest to us.”

“We are here about the Blight, remember?” Ellana reminded her.

“You’re here about the Blight?!” Cassandra snapped. “You told the Chantry it was about allying with Wardens.”

“Yeah, about the Blight,” Ellana clarified. Cassandra looked at her as if her explanation were not sufficient. “Okay, I realize that I haven't been honest.”

“No,” Cole hummed, earning an eye roll from Ellana.

“My intuition is telling me to pursue this,” Charter interrupted, bringing the conversation back on track.

“Okay, well let's meet with Lady Seryl,” Ellana decided.

***

The dig site was massive and so was the door. Along with sigils carved into the stone, the words were ancient. No one within the party could understand the writing. Even with Ellana’s notes, the translation was faulty. Some of the writing was in a dialect of ancient Elvhen that had characters she had never seen before, other parts of the writing were in ancient Dwarven. One word did stand out.

“Isatunoll,” Charter hummed pointing at a singular script. “Dagna showed me this, she saw it before when she was studying the fragments of the Fade. I will never forget it.”

“What does it mean?” Thom asked.

“Isatunoll ...We are Here,” Charter answered, almost charmed.

“The song is muffled, if we open the door, we will hear it better,” Cole said.

“Are we sure about this?” Cassandra asked, scared.

“Yes,” Ellana decided. She closed her eyes and laid both her hands on the door. She felt someone move beside her. Opening her eyes, she saw Cole mimicking her actions. They allowed the Fade to flow through them, Ellana with her mana, and Cole with…whatever his spirit self uses. The door opened.

The group walked in and saw architecture that told a story, etched into stone, made with blue untainted lyrium. The veins of the lyrium formed pictures and they pulsed as if alive. There was an echo of a tune. “Do you hear it,” Cole said from beside her.

Ellana closed her eyes and listened. She heard: 

We are here

We waited

We slept

We are sundered

We are crippled

We are polluted

We endure

We wait

We have found the dreams again

We will awaken

We are here

“Isatunoll,” she mumbled to herself. She looked at her companions, everyone heard it too. Standing in this room felt like a dream.

In the back of the room on the wall was a device placed into the wall. The device was Elvhen-made, etched with Elvhen script, it looked old but not as old as the room. In the very center was a Dwarven Shaper’s seal, which hummed faintly.

“I believe that is a memory anchor,” Charter offered from behind her. “They are meant to store memories from the Fade itself, but it seems that this one is made with lyrium.”

“How do I activate it?” Ellana asked, but it was too late. The device activated on its own. Flashing a lyrium blue light that lit up the entire space. All at once the room fell away and the group was standing in another location.

“Where are we?” Cassandra asked.

“In its dreams,” Cole answered in awe.

Ellana looked around at her surroundings. They were underground in a vast city. It looked remarkably similar to the city they had found under Orzammar, where they lost Shaper Valta. There were large monuments built of stone and gold. Golem-like statues holding large weapons, standing as protectors of the city. Stalagmites of lyrium, pulsating a song, different from what the group heard before.

Ellana listened to the song; it was low and slow. The song seemed calm and felt like a hug. But this song had no words, or at least no words Ellana could decipher. It did not seem like a spoken language. The group watched as Dwarves gathered in communion with something unseen, but the felt presence felt massive, serene, and alive.

“Maker,” Thom gasped at the scene in front of them.

“Where are we?” asked Cassandra, she sounded afraid.

Suddenly the memory changed. Ellana was looking through her own eyes but what she saw in front of her was strange. She was suddenly a mountain or some mountain-like creature. Looking out she saw a tall Elvhen woman with a large blue dagger. Next to her stood…Oh no! Stood Solas, young, with hair, and with a Vallaslin across his face, but Solas, nonetheless. He held a black box, one similar to the one the group found but also different. 

The woman held up the dagger and a bright light showed, blinding Ellana. Suddenly the memory became unstable, warping into an echo, a void. Ellana felt like she was no longer alive but not dead. She felt her void spread; infecting, corrupting, and devouring everything it touched. The Blight.

The memory ended, everyone looked exhausted. “The Blight,” Ellana murmured. 

“Not a curse or a punishment,” Cassandra whispered.

“They broke it into fragments. Cut it off from its source. It twists everything it touches,” Cole sang from next to them. “Deep below it dreams. It doesn’t know it’s dreaming.”

“So, the Blight is a broken spirit…?” Charter asked into the air. “Who were those two Elvhes?”

Ashamed, Ellana lied, “I have no idea.” Charter stood to grab the box that lay on the ground next to Ellana. “What are you doing?”

“We are taking this,” Charter answered. “Whether it can be useful when bartering with the Dwarves or for something else. I am not leaving this for Orlais or Tevinter or any other country to find.” Ellana looked at Charter confused. “This is world changing information.” She took a deep breath. “I heard rumors of these existing in ancient sites near titan veins. We should use this magic to find others.”

“What would we do once we find them?” Ellana asked. 

“Return them to their people,” Charter answered as if obvious.

***

That night it rained, and it stormed. Ellana sat with all four of her friends in Charter’s room staring at the memory anchor that lay inert. Charter asked if Ellana could try activating it again once they returned to the estate, but nothing Ellana did would reactivate the cube. Cole tried it as well with no success.

Cassandra broke the silence. “So, the Blight, it’s no punishment, no accident, it was caused by the Elvhes killing a titan…”

“They’re not dead remember, they still sing,” Cole reminded.

“They’ll massacre the living Elvhes for this revelation,” Ellana mumbled, terrified. 

“So, we tell no one,” Charter suggested.

“Tell no one?” Thom asked. 

“What would you have us do?” Charter snapped. “Have our people genocide for the actions of Elvhes we don’t even recognize?” Thom he fell silent. Ellana sat silent too, but ashamed. She recognized one of those Elvhes and the Vallaslin he wore, it was the same she used to wear, the Vallaslin of Mythal. But Solas had no Vallaslin, what happened?

“We should go to bed, talk about this tomorrow,” Ellana suggested. Everyone agreed and began to filter out, leaving the cube with Charter. As she walked out, Ellana called to Cole. “Cole, can I talk to you? I need your help with something.” Cole nodded and followed her to her room. Once inside, Ellana reached into her pack and removed two vials. One was a potion to allow her to control the Fade and the other was to relieve the headache that resulted.

“What is that?” Cole asked, unsure. He shifted from foot to foot, like he knew what she would ask him to do. 

“I need you to watch my body in case something happens while I am asleep. I need to talk to Solas,” she answered, getting comfortable in her bed.

“Is that blood magic?”

“Yes, how else…it doesn’t matter. I need you to promise you won’t leave my side. You’ll need to wake me if you feel anything trying to cross the Fade.”

“Is it the Blight?”

“I…I think that woman from the vision was…,” Ellana looked away considering. “If they caused the Blight…Do you know who the people were?”

“It was Solas, he was the same color light as him. The other lady was the same color as the other color Solas has now.” Cole looked uncomfortable.

“As I thought,” Ellana concluded. She laid back and drank the contents of the vial before Cole had a chance to consent. 

***

The emotions were enough to summon him and others as well. The two spent minutes banishing the others that were summoned. When all was well he turned to her, “Why would you come to the Fade like this?” he motioned towards her face, her expression showing nothing but anguish and mistrust. He closed his eyes and looked like he was counting to ten, when he opened his eyes he said, “Blood magic again?”

“It’s the only way I know how, you know this,” it had been the fourth time since the first time that she attempted to summon him using the Tevene method. Ellana could tell that Solas was starting to grow frustrated with her frequent use of blood magic, and if Ellana was honest, using it so frequently was irresponsible, but she loved the feeling of being able to control him and others within the Fade.

“What if I stop coming?” Solas challenged.

“I will grow more desperate, you already know this.” This had become a sort of game for them, despite the world ending. “I like to sleep knowing I may be visited by a ghost.”

“And what can this ghost do for you today?” His face was too close. They kissed. This had become part of their game too. But never crossing into more. Who would be the first to break the kiss? Always Solas, always the one in control. 

Not tonight though…

“Tell me about the titan,” Ellana commanded as soon as he broke away from her. His face fell; he schooled his features to look confused. “No, you don’t get to look like that. You told me to look for the Blight and I did. So, tell me about the titans.” Ellana changed the Fade; they were on top of the mountain from the memory staring into the face of the tranquil titan. She felt him trying to change the scene, but she would not let him. “Look at it!”

He looked at her and then looked at the titan’s docile face. “What would you have me say?”

“You and Mythal tranquilized the titan. The severed dreams became the Blight. Did you know this would happen?”

Solas’ face looked like he considered telling her a lie, however Ellana did not notice. “No.” 

“Why?”

“We were at war.”

“With the titans, why?” she asked. He refused to answer. Ellana changed the scene to the beginning of the memory, watching the Dwarves in ceremony. “Did you know about them?”

“What is the point of this?” Solas sounded angry.

“You told me to change your mind, to find the Blight,” she yelled. “I did, and now you’re angry about it. Explain.”

“School your emotions if you're going to be insistent on controlling the Fade,” he warned.

The memory still played out in front of them. Ellana took a deep breath. More controlled, she said calmly, “You knew about the titans. The entire time. When we went to Orzammar and lost Valta to the Stone. You sat and smiled in Varric's face all those months knowing what the Elvhes…what you did to them. And you didn’t say anything.” 

She could feel disgust, building in her stomach. She wanted to punch him, so she tried. He caught her wrist and held it firmly, so firmly that it hurt. She yelped in pain. He dropped her hand. “Control yourself.” He stood straight and away from her, far enough that she would not be able to hit him if she tried. “I feared what you would think if you knew.”

“That I would think you a monster?”

“This is why I did not tell you in Crestwood. You stood and asked why I did not trust you…I knew this would be the reaction.” He looked hurt.

“You did not want me to be able to form an opinion of you with knowing all you’ve done—”

“And all I will do,” he finished for her. “I look at the people and see ruin, ruin I caused.”

“I don’t see ruin,” Ellana said, getting closer. “I see a wound buried beneath myth and pride.” She kissed him again and he melted into it. 

Leaning against her forehead he asked. “Would anything have changed if I had told you? Would you have followed me, knowing I broke the world long before the Veil?"  

Ellana studied him, long and slow. Despite the years that had passed, Solas looked like he had never aged, yet the weight of what he carried pulled his features down. He looked tired. She pressed her nose against his and whispered, “I would have stayed and helped you carry it.”

“You say that as if I deserve you.”

“You don’t and yet here we are,” she said, pulling away.

“I still dream of you,” he said, pulling her in emotionally, controlling the interaction as he always did… successfully changing the topic.

Ellana, falling for the bait, asked “Do you dream of before or what we could have been?”

“Both and neither. I dream of your voice grounding me. I dream of the way your eyes looked when you saw Solas, before you knew Fen’Harel." 

“You don’t have to be Fen’Harel. Fen’Harel is just Solas with a knife in his heart, pretending all this is necessary.” No, Ellana did not take the bait, she saw him coming. She won control and Solas knew.

His face shifted. Solas did not like losing. “It is impossible for you to understand. The titan’s pain hums beneath the world like a hollow heartbeat. Hungry. That’s what the Blight is. Grief made flesh.” This time he was the one yelling.

“Control yourself,” Ellana dug, smiling. He scowled. “So, you want to burn it all? Not just restore Elvhenan but fix the wound you made. You and Mythal.”

“Yes,” he said so low she almost did not hear him. 

“So then let us be honest,” she began. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to protect you from the mistake that I am.”

Ellana looked horrified at the idea that Solas believed himself to be a mistake. “I would have stayed anyway.”

“And if I asked you to stay now?”

“I would ask if you’re still trying to end the world.” He was standing close again, trying to control the interaction.

“When this is over—”

“We still have to live with what we were, what we are, and what we choose to do.” Ellana interrupted, not allowing him to find a honey-laced excuse. “Speaking of what we were…tell me about the Vallaslin.” He said nothing. “Oh, come on. You know I saw the memory. I saw you with Mythal’s Vallaslin, and you don’t have it now, so…tell me about it.”

“No,” he said, pulling away.

“Were you her slave?” Solas turned his back on her. “You’re the one who told me they were slave markings. Did she make you do it?” Ellana moved around to his front, so he was facing her once again. 

“You would not understand,” he countered.

“Try me,” she challenged. “From my point of view, she tricked you into leaving the Fade, enslaved you, and then forced you to hurt the titans. Or am I wrong?” He did not respond. His eyes were closed as if closing them would stop him from hearing her. To make it worse, Ellana piled something else on top, “Cole says there is a light in you, the same color as Morrigan’s.”

“I am not ready to talk about that,” he said and then softer, a whimper, “Please.”

“Then I will wait,” she said, crossing her arms. Ellana turned her focus within herself and forced herself to wake.

***

Ellana bolted up in the bed, grabbing the second vial that lay next to her. Drinking the contents, she looked over at Cole, who sat at the desk. He looked terrified. “What?” Ellana asked, annoyed.

“I didn’t like doing that,” Cole cried.

“Well, it was a waste of time,” she complained, ignoring her friend’s displeasure. “He gave no information other than what I already knew. But he did confirm that what we saw was true. Solas still plans to tear down the Veil…” Ellana punched the bed with her hand.

“You’re angry,” he offered, trying to help.

“I know I’m angry!” she snapped. “There was a war, they did it to win the war. But he would not tell me what the war was about,” Ellana looked out the window and saw that the sun had risen. She looked at Cole and noticed that he looked tired. “Were you awake this whole time?”

He looked at his hands. “You told me I had to watch you sleep, so I watched. It was frightening, but I did it for you because I love you.”

“Oh…I love you too Cole,” Ellana stood and walked over to her friend. She hugged him tight, “I am so sorry, that was unfair of me. Especially since I haven’t been honest with any of you. During breakfast, I will tell you everything, I promise.” She released him and rubbed his arms with both of hers. Ellana felt guilty, and she realized that she hurt Cole. And even though they had not seen each other in years, she still felt as close to him as she did five years ago. 

Cole smiled at her and took a breath. “Maybe after breakfast, I didn’t sleep, and I am tired.” Nodding, Ellana stood and motioned that he could lay in her bed. She followed him to the bed and sat next to him. Laying on his back, he asked, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” Ellana asked, pulling her knees up under her chin and watching him. 

“Maryden left me, and I felt upset by how it made me feel,” he looked up at the ceiling, considering his feelings. “When Solas left you, did you like the feelings you felt?”

“What a way to say it,” Ellana groaned. “No, I didn’t like the way it felt, that’s why I’m where I’m at today.”

“You think I should do the same?”

“What no?” Ellana said. “You should find happiness with someone new, someone who wants to be with you. If you open your heart…you won’t have any issues, I’m sure.”

“Why don’t you take your own advice?”

“Because, my ex is trying to destroy the world, Cole,” Ellana joked, earning a laugh from Cole. “I still love him, and I think he still loves me.”

“He does,” Cole reiterated with his eyes closed. “I still love Maryden. I love you. I love Faith too.”

“Cassandra, really?” Ellana asked incredulously. 

“Faith doesn’t feel the same about Compassion,” it sounded to Ellana like he was falling asleep.

“No, I don’t think she does,” Ellana confirmed. “Maybe we can find someone else, Cole.” After a moment, the young man started snoring. Ellana smiled and moved from the bed to begin her day. 

Breakfast was tense and quiet. Ellana felt like the atmosphere was fragile, and if broken, all the friendships in the room would crumble. Thom found the courage to break the silence, “I want to be honest.” He looked around the room and when no one responded continued, “I wanted to leave, run off before any of you woke up, but I didn’t. I don’t run anymore. But I cannot pretend that this knowledge is not a burden. It’s a burden that I do not know how to carry. Ellana, why are we here?”

“I was trying to, hopefully, find a way to stop Solas from tearing down the Veil. I was led to believe that the answer lies in the Blight. So, I wanted to ask the Grey Wardens, which obviously did not work out. Charter just happened to have our answer, call it destiny, I don’t know, and I don’t care,” Ellana looked around the room to see how they were receiving the news. Blank faces stared back at her.

After a long moment, Charter asked, “What made you believe that the solution lies with the Blight?”

“Solas told me,” Ellana mumbled.

“Told you! Told you when?” Cassandra snapped.

“Last year, but that doesn’t matter, it seems he sent me on a wild chase to keep me distracted,” Ellana shrugged. “We learned some horrible stuff and now we don't know what to do with it.”

“I remember instructing you to tell me the next time he contacted you,” Charter mumbled with her arms crossed.

“Yeah, like five years ago. I forgot, and you’re never around,” Ellana snapped at her, earning an eye roll from the woman. 

“Where’s Cole, did he leave?” Cassandra asked, abruptly shifting the focus.

“He is sleeping,” Ellana answered. “He said he didn’t sleep well last night,” she lied.

“So, what now?” Thom asked.

“We endure,” Ellana offered. “Charter told us what she thinks our next steps should be. I agree with her, hopefully, we will learn what the war was fought over.”

“War?” Thom asked. 

Shit, Ellana thought to herself. She did not mean to let that slip. She took a breath. “I talked to Solas last night in the Fade and tried to get some answers. He said the titans were tranquilized because the Elvhen were fighting a war with them, he did not tell me why.”

“I don’t think I want to be a part of this,” Thom admitted. Charter watched Ellana shaking her head. Cassandra looked angry. 

“And I won’t make you,” Ellana confirmed, crossing her arms. “I plan to follow Charter wherever she goes next. Cassandra?”

“I must return to Val Royeaux, I’m sorry,” she said, sounding disappointed.

“So, it’s settled then,” Ellana finalized. “I will ask Cole what he wants, when he wakes up.” 

***

Firstfall, 9:49 Dragon. Ellana and Charter, along with Cole and Dagna spent the remainder of the year trying and failing to find other memory anchors from the titans. They successfully found memory anchors and they were able to return them to the Dwarves of Orzammar, but none that held memories of the titans. Since her last visit with Solas, she received no other visits from him that year. She reasoned that she may have pushed him too far during their previous conversation and he needed space from her. 

Ellana, Charter, and Cole spent the last month in Tevinter, in Dorian’s estate, reorganizing. During that month, Dagna was sent to join an expedition to Skyhold to check on the status of a scouting party. Coincidentally, Iron Bull was also at Dorian’s estate visiting.

Currently, Ellana was sitting alone in Dorian’s study reading a letter in response to a letter she had sent four months ago. She had forgotten that she sent the letter and just found the response at the bottom of a pile of her and Dorian’s letters. It read:

My Dearest Ellana, Inquisitor

Regarding your questions regarding the titans, I went to the temple looking for those answers specifically. While I slept in the temple, Mythal whispered to me memories of her part in it. In the first memory, I saw two overlapping spheres with flowers growing in the center, they spoke:

"In this place we prepare to hunt the pillars of the earth. Their workers scamper, witless and soulless. This death will be a mercy. We will make the earth blossom with their passing."

In the second dream a thunderous voice shouted:

"Hail Mythal, adjudicator and savior! She has struck down the pillars of the earth and rendered their demesne unto the People! Praise her name forever!"

Suddenly, the scent of blood filled the air, and there was a vivid image of green vines growing and enveloping a sphere of fire. A vision appeared of Elvhes collapsing caverns, sealing the Deep Roads with stone and magic. In my ear, a voice whispered:

"What the Evanuris in their greed could unleash would end us all. Let this place be forgotten. Let no one wake its anger. The People must rise before their false gods destroy them all."

Morrigan

This added no good feelings to the feelings that Ellana already held regarding the titans. As she sat, Charter knocked and entered the room without waiting for an answer. “Inquisitor, Dagna sent me a very concerning message,” Charter announced. She handed Ellana the letter, it read:

Charter,

We made it to Skyhold. But we didn't last long until a demon of regret attacked us. This regret materialized  from one of Solas’ murals of the Inquisitor. It looked half wolf and half dragon, claiming to be the regret of a god. Sutherland lured the demon from us allowing us to destroy it. Skyhold is safe, for now, but I am not sure about using it in the future.

Dagna

“I sent word to Divine Victoria as she was the one who originally requested the expedition to Skyhold,” Charter informed Ellana, but Ellana was not listening. All Ellana could focus on was her regret and shame regarding Solas and her continued involvement with him. She wondered how many people have died due to his choices. “Inquisitor…Inquisitor?”

“What?” Ellana said, shaking her head, coming back to the moment. “Sorry.”

“I was saying that I plan to go to Kirkwall and see if I can meet back with Dagna and do reconnaissance in the Free Marches, would you like to come?” 

“Yes, let’s do that.”

Chapter Text

Story Six

Drakonis, 9:50 Dragon. For the last six months, Ellana occupied a safe house that Charter maintained in Kirkwall’s alienage. Ellana was deep undercover, participating in espionage and wanting to understand what life was like for the average Elf living in an alienage.  Growing up, she had known of Elvhes living in the Wycome alienage, as her mother was born there, but her Keeper discouraged interacting with those Elvhes for fear their culture would be destroyed, or worse, more Elvhes like her mother would want to join the clan. 

In order to better blend in with those around her and not to alert the inhabitants of her presence, she dyed her hair a dark golden brown, a stark contrast to her natural, white hair. Ellana thought the new hair color gave her a softer look and she opted to dye her hair over wearing her glamour, because the glamour had a Vallaslin, where almost all the Elvhes in the alienage did not. The resulting look drew no attention to her, and no one recognized her as the Inquisitor. 

Ellana’s mission was to track Veil disturbances and Elvhen artifacts within the region, and her work kept her busy. Between the disappearances, proliferation of red lyrium, and increased activity from the Solassan cult, there had yet to be a week where Ellana could kick back and breathe. 

Living in Tevinter, Ellana had become almost reclusive. She felt unable to leave and venture into public without an escort, and it made her feel both trapped and like a burden. Recently, Maevaris and Dorian had been busy establishing an abolitionist group, named the Shadow Dragons, and Ellana felt like she was imposing on their lives. Hence, when Charter offered her the apartment, during their visit with Varric, she jumped at the opportunity. And even though the Elvhes of Kirkwall faced their own share of oppression, it was nice to live among Elvhes who were not enslaved or “employed.” 

Nevertheless, though Ellana left the apartment more, it did not mean she had broken her habit of isolation. The more visits she received from Solas, the more guilty and ashamed she felt, resulting in her hiding herself from others. Until Jader, the only person who knew that she was getting visits was Dorian, as he was the one supplying her with the blood magic. The companion’s reactions to finding out discouraged Ellana from wanting to be open, even if she received no visits since. 

Thus, her emotional isolation increased. But she was also isolating because she could no longer hide her personal feelings from her friends. Charter was terribly angry with her in the beginning. Thom had not reached out to her. Cassandra was furious but she still responded to Ellana’s letters. Cole stayed in Tevinter with Dorian and Bull, but he did write to her. Cole was the only one who was not angry.

When she and Charter arrived in Kirkwall, Charter insisted that she tell Varric immediately. The reasoning was that they could not run an organization with their leader hiding secrets. Charter was right, of course, so Ellana told Varric everything. Varric was disappointed, but he understood loving someone who continuously chose wrong. His reaction made Ellana feel better.

Currently, Varric sat across from her at the apartment’s breakfast table. Despite being the viscount, Varric insisted that he visited Ellana at her house, explaining that he was desperate to get out of his apartment and see something different. Worried about her well-being, Varric said, “I know it’s not my place, Sunbeam, but you’re disappearing and not responding to messages.”

“I’m busy Varric, you know that…I’ve been swamped between responding to correspondence from people that aren’t you, trying to follow my own leads, plus those that you and Charter bring,” Ellana took a breath. “I just needed some time. I will check-in.”

“Your last check-in was three weeks ago. That’s why I’m here,” he said, crossing his arms. “I knew you weren't in the field. So I thought, maybe, someone assassinated you.”  Ellana leaned back in her chair not wanting to admit he was right. Varric looked intently at her, studying her, “Are you getting visits again?”

“What! No,” Ellana said, scowling. “Why would you ask that?” Ellana stopped herself. Varric did not deserve her ire, especially since the person who she should be angry with was herself.

“Ellana, you know why…” he answered knowingly. Wanting to avoid his expression, Ellana stood to pour some water. She poured a cup for Varric as well. “Is there a reason you’ve been avoiding me?”

“No,” she lied. There was a reason, a glaring reason. Ellana felt guilty about the titans, she felt guilty of wanting to be with the person who destroyed the Dwarven empire. 

As if he could read her mind, “Is it about the titans, still?” Varric paused, taking a breath. “As I told you before, you need not feel guilty, you did not cause the harm. You and Charter did what you could to right a wrong by returning those artifacts. What else could you do? You can’t bring them back.” 

He was right, what else was there for Ellana to do? Wake the titans from their dreams, but how could she do that? She did not cause the nightmare in the first place. “I’m just disgusted with myself is all,” she admitted. 

“For what, Sunbeam, falling in love?”

“Yes,” she mumbled. She had been avoiding Varric because she did not want to have this conversation, again. Every time she talked to him it seemed like it always circled around to this topic. 

“Well, I think I am living well despite not having titans moving the mountains around,” he tried to offer as a bit of humor. Ellana looked at him and tried to give a strained smile. “If you can pull yourself away from the work keeping you so busy, Charter has something she wants to talk to us about.” 

***

Ellana and Charter sat in the viscount estate within the study with Varric. However, there was another person joining them today. Ellana eyed her Vallaslin, it was different than any she had ever seen. “Like I was saying…” Varric continued. “Daisy will be joining as she can recite all of known Elvhen history and navigate the Fade.”

“He is joking of course,” Merrill clarified. “I do not know all of Elvhen history, but I can get you through the Fade alive.”

“Hmmm, just like another friend of ours, right Inquisitor?” Charter joked looking over to Ellana, which earned her a scowl.

Ellana, whose interest was finally pulled away from the woman’s Vallaslin, focused on Merrill’s eyes and asked, “Have we met?” Merrill smiled at Ellana in response. They have not met, but they have definitely crossed paths.

“Daisy lives in the alienage, that’s probably where you saw her,” Varric offered his response instead of letting Merrill answer for herself. Unsatisfied with the honesty of the answer, Ellana crossed her arms and leaned back into her chair. 

“Now that we all know each other,” Charter interrupted, sensing the unease radiating off of Ellana. “Can we move onto Sundermount?” 

When Charter received no objections, Merrill introduced the topic. “Yes, Sundermount, my clan was camped there for a long time, they've since moved on, but that doesn’t matter. Anyway, there was a demon named Audacity who lived there for a long time, ended up possessing my Keeper.” Merrill paused for a second, taking a deep breath. Ellana could see the pain in her eyes. “I did what needed to be done…I thank Hawke for everything.” She paused again, looking shattered. Ellana felt that there was some personal loss that Merrill was not speaking on. “There is no longer a demon haunting the place but there is a Mythal altar at the top. I’ve had experiences with her, and I heard you have as well.” She made eye contact with Ellana. “I know the mountain better than most. I should be of use, but to know there were ruins just underneath…honestly it makes a lot of sense,” she said, turning towards Varric with a private understanding passing between the two of them.

“I’m surprised the Dread Wolf hasn’t recruited you,” Charter abruptly pointed out. 

“Charter!” Varric chastised.

“What?” she asked. “Should we wait until the Dread Wolf’s agents make themselves known to us before we confront them?”

“Actually, I have been recruited,” Merrill admitted, earning a ‘see there’ arm throw from Charter. “Or at least his agents tried to recruit me. When I rejected the offer they tried to kill me…good thing none of them were mages.” Ellana stared at Merrill trying to discern the truth from her nonverbal body language. Merrill seemed genuine, and Ellana was impressed that she was willing to admit interaction with the cult. 

Additionally, Ellana was interested in learning more. “When did this ‘attempted recruiting’ occur?”

“Oh, about three years ago,” Merrill answered. Charter turned towards Ellana as if asking permission to interrogate the woman. Ellana nodded to her as if to say, ‘go ahead.’

“Other than what you’ve shared,” Charter said, crossing her arms, “What other reasons would the Dread Wolf have to recruit you?”

“I don't know what—”

“Yes you do, don’t act stupid,” Ellana interrupted through narrowed eyes. Merrill was not a dumb woman, she could tell. There was something there, and both her and Charter noticed it.

“Before the Kirkwall chantry attack, I was able to repair an Eluvian. I am able to repair Eluvians,” Merrill admitted after a brief pause. “That’s probably what my use would be.” 

“Okay, that’s enough. Quit interrogating my guest,” Varric announced. 

“Fine,” Charter conceded. “My intel gathered that in the ruin is an artifact linked to the instability of the Veil around Kirkwall. I think we should attempt to stabilize it, maybe it could also help the inhabitants of the city.” A brief pause. “Inquisitor, I think it may be those similar you would find around Thedas during the war. The ones the Dread Wolf encouraged you to activate.” Another pause and a pointed look from Ellana. 

“If Solas wanted me to activate them, it was for a reason,” Ellana added. “Wouldn’t activation be playing into his goal?”

“I said, ‘I think,’ I may be wrong, Inquisitor,” Charter clarified. 

Ellana contemplated. “If there is a Mythal shrine, the ruins may be a temple. Should I attempt to contact Morrigan?”

“If Morrigan is anything like Flemeth, then I am sure poking around her altar will draw her to us,” Varric offered.

***

Ellana, Merrill, Varric, and Charter arrived at the gates of the ruin. The entrance was at the top of the mountain, where the Mythal altar stood. On the ground was a dais that served as the entrance to the temple. Ellana placed her hand in the middle of the dais, feeling the magic that radiated off of it. The aura that radiated from inside was heavy with Fade energy, it was not chaotic but strained, as if holding back something immense. 

“Merrill, press your hand against the ground near mine, feel my magic and mimic it,” Ellana instructed. 

Merrill listened and followed direction. “Oh!” she exclaimed, feeling the energy. After a few minutes, it was clear that their magic was insufficient and would not open the dais. 

“I don’t think it's opening,” Ellana said, giving up. “I think we’ll need to summon Morrigan.”

Suddenly a dragon cried above them and landed. The current from the landing blew over the group. Looking towards the sky, Ellana saw the dragon transform. A bright light showed, and standing was Morrigan, “Well, well…what have we here?”

“Well, that’s a fortunate turn of luck,” Varric said, turning to stand up off the ground. 

“I see you’ve been busy, Inquisitor,” Morrigan said, largely ignoring everyone else. “I felt your presence here trying to open the dais.”

“Yes, can you open it for us?”

“I could, but…” she began. “Mythal would prefer it if I didn’t, but I want to, for you.” Morrigan made a motion towards the dais, summoning magic that caused an audible click. “When you stand on the dais say: Melana en athim las Mythal'enaste.” In another moment, Morrigan was once again a dragon and gone as quickly as she came. 

“Wow, she is so less demanding than Flemeth,” Merrill nodded. “I’m glad she showed up instead.”

Ellana made eye contact with Varric, who she had shared concerns with about her suspicion that Flemeth had been murdered by Solas. Varric nodded towards Ellana as if to say ‘see, I can be trusted.’ Varric did not tell Merrill everything she had shared with him, and from the look of Charter, he did not tell her either. Ellana looked away from him, feeling guilty. Maybe she thought that she did not have to battle alone. Or at least she could share some of the emotional burden without everyone finding out and judging her.

The group stood in the middle of the dais. Ellana whispered, “Melana en athim las Mythal'enaste.” And the dais glowed a bright blue. It turned slightly and then began descending. As they lowered the opening at the top closed over, blocking them from the outside world. 

“How did you meet Mythal?” Merrill asked as they descended.

“Morrigan,” Ellana corrected. “We met during the Inquisition. She has been a trusted confidant since.”

“Wow, that’s really cool,” Merrill squealed. “And Fen’Harel was in the Inquisition too? Did you know him?”

“Daisy,” Varric warned. “Obviously, no one knew who he was.”

“That makes sense,” Merrill considered. Ellana was growing uncomfortable, and she was thankful that the descent into the temple was dark enough to hide the flush that she could feel covering her skin. “It would have been cool to meet him.” 

Varric looked at Ellana, and even though he could barely see her, he could see how uncomfortable the woman looked. “Maybe we can talk about something else?”

Ellana was silent for the rest of the descent, opting to retreat into her mind. Things between her and Morrigan over the previous year had been interesting. Ellana had all but accused Mythal via Morrigan of ruining reality and enslaving Solas. The two women got into an argument about Ellana blaming Morrigan for actions of a woman she did not know, only whose memories she held. Nevertheless, Morrigan was always willing to help Ellana and was kind to her, even when Ellana projected her emotions onto her. Ellana was surprised to see Morrigan. Morrigan had been in Arlathan Forest for the last two months, citing that ‘anomalies’ called her to the ruins of Arlathan city. 

The dais suddenly halted at the bottom of the descent. As it settled, Veil fire erupted and lined the walls, lighting the area. The fire created a walking path down the center that had two golden Fen’Harel at the far end of the path. Ellana grimaced at the sight of them. She was unsure about how she currently felt about Solas in light of the latest information that she learned about him. She was still angry about the titans and that his and Mythal’s relationship was muddier than Ellana would prefer. Ellana was especially angry that he had not made any further attempt to contact her, and she was too prideful to try and contact him. Yet, she still loved him and would try anything to turn him away from his current course.

Morrigan had asked her a question that Ellana knew could only come from Mythal. To be with the Dread Wolf is to battle against him and love him still, that battle will require you to set aside your morals for love. Are you willing to do that? Was Ellana willing to set aside all of her morals? She had yet to determine the heights she was willing to climb and subsequently fall.

“Hey Sunbeam, are you alright,” Varric asked, placing a compassionate hand against her prosthetic arm. 

“Huh?” Ellana asked, her thoughts interrupted. “Oh yeah, this place has a lot to process.”

“I agree,” Charter reinforced. “Let’s get in, find what we need, and get out.”

They continued their walk, the floor dipping slightly as if they were walking deeper underground. The temperature rose, and Varric looked increasingly uncomfortable. They entered a larger room with cracked Elvhen architecture, the room being reclaimed by vegetation and the passage of time. If Ellana focused on the language etched into the walls, the veil fire caused the inscriptions to look like they were glowing. 

“Let’s stop for a minute,” Charter suggested. “Merrill, come here.” The two women walked towards the middle of the room to what looked to be a large altar used for sacrifice. Charter stooped down, pulling off her pack, and dropping it onto the ground. Merrill followed suit, and the two women began pulling out notes and ancient records. 

As they continued, Varric walked up to Ellana and mused humorously, “The energy down here is making Bianca twitch.” Ellana giggled at his poor attempt at the joke. “I think we will be here for a while, we might as well make ourselves comfortable.”

This temple was much smaller than the grand temple in the Arbor Wilds. This one seemed to be made, specifically, for ritual sacrifice. The sacrificial altar stood proud in the middle of the large space, and it was surrounded by seating meant for onlookers to watch ceremonies. Ellana wondered what the ancient Elvhen would sacrifice for the Evanuris. Since the Evanuris were not really gods, she wondered if the people’s prayers were ever answered or was it all just hopeful thinking with no results. 

The two set their packs on the pews with Varric taking a seat. Ellana continued to stand, the thinness of the Veil making her feel like there was a lot of pressure on her head. She felt like she was in a memory, but also as if there was something she was forgetting.

Turning her head, Ellana noticed a mural. When she looked at it, her eyes felt like she was looking at a dream. She instinctively approached it and as she neared it, it pulled. Ellana closed her eyes, the Fade guiding her, she felt the urge to say aloud, “Ar’melana dirthavaren. Revas vir’anaris.” Suddenly the mural glittered away, and a hidden passageway opened before her.

“What did you do?” Charter asked, sprinting over to Ellana.

“I didn’t do anything,” Ellana said. “I just said what the Fade wanted me to say.”

“Which was?”

“Ar’melana dirthavaren. Revas vir’anaris.”

“Interesting,” Charter considered. Charter looked around the area that was the passageway. She noticed that at the ground immediately in front of the hallway, there was a script that read: Ghil-Dirthalen .

“One who guides seekers of knowledge true,” Merrill translated from over Charter’s shoulder. 

“Disembodied guides who bestow unknown knowledge? Well, that’s comforting,” Varric joked while walking up to the three women. 

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Merrill asked. “Let’s get on with it.”

“No,” Charter stopped her. “We are not just walking down there.”

Ellana cut in, “Let’s camp here and discuss. Merrill, you and Charter need to finish the translations of that altar and the sigils around the room. When you’re done, we can discuss whether or not we walk down the dark path.” 

They all agreed and as they moved to get comfortable Charter stopped Ellana to say, “What was the phrase you said again?”

“Ar’melana dirthavaren. Revas vir’anaris.”

“Yes, as I suspected,” she replied. “That’s the phrase that Fen’Harel’s followers used to identify one another.” Charter continued on and unpacked her belongings. Ellana chose a corner to unpack her bedroll. 

Ellana spent the next few hours avoiding everyone, not even Varric could get her to talk to him. She was in a spiral, being haunted as to why she would know that phrase. Solas never told her, nor did Morrigan, so where did it come from? Every so often, she would look towards Charter wondering if she had all but lost trust in her. If she were Charter, she would not trust her either. Ellana was a liar, if only by omission. Ellana did not even know what things she actually knew.

She was sitting with her head against her knees when she was approached by Charter. “Hey, can we talk?”

“I don’t have anything to say that will change your mind about me,” Ellana mumbled. 

“I don’t have any opinions about you that need changing,” Charter replied. “You’re our leader and…I won’t ask how you knew that phrase because the answer won’t change anything. I just need your opinion.”

“What is it?”

“Do you think we should continue?”

“Did you find what you came down here for?”

“No,” Charter admitted. “A part of me suspects that it is down that passageway.”

“Then, I guess that answer is made up for us.”

“Can I be honest?” 

“Sure.”

“Solas scares me,” Charter admitted looking into Ellana’s eyes. “I don’t know how you stand before him repeatedly.”

“Have you run into him?” Ellana’s attention was captured.

“Once, after we found out about him. He came not as an Elf but as the Dread Wolf. He killed all of my scouts and spared me. I don’t know why.”

Ellana watched the woman; her head still pressed against her knees. “I don’t know why either,” she said. “I never saw the full wolf form, only a small version, no bigger than a Mabari. He was not violent and I’ve never seen him be violent. When we were together, he chose to only kill in self-defense…What does the Dread Wolf look like?”

“As large as a high dragon,” Charter said immediately. “Six blue eyes and mangy. Terrifying. When you said you visit each other in dreams, it triggered that memory of all my companions murdered. I felt betrayed even though I never told you he did that to me.”

Charter had never been this vulnerable with her. She did not know what to reply, so she only said, “I’m sorry.”

“Do you think following this path will be safe?”

“It never is ‘safe.’ Will we die? Probably not, unless we’re unlucky.” Charter reached out to rub Ellana’s back, grateful for the shared intimacy of their conversation. 

“Are you two talking about what we are going to do?” Merrill called from over where Varric was sitting on his bedroll. 

Ellana raised her finger and motioned the number one, as if to ask for a moment. She turned to Charter, “I would go if I was alone, but I wouldn’t ask any of you to follow me.”

“I will come with you,” Charter nodded. “Maybe the other two can stay and guard the pathway.” Ellana nodded in agreement. “Okay, I will let them know.”

***

Charter and Ellana decided that they would venture forth after they woke from rest. Merrill and Varric were disappointed to learn that they would be left behind, but Ellana explained that it would be safer this way in case the two women needed help. Charter left Merrill her notes and texts so that Merrill could continue to transcribe and translate the rest of the writing within the sacrificial chamber along with the writings along the corridor and written on the dais. 

Ellana spoke the phrase, activating the hidden archway. With a wave, the two women entered through the opening along the wall. As they walked, Ellana felt the air around her shift. It did not feel like the Fade within her dreams but a third liminal space. Ellana no longer felt like she was real or that the space around her was real, but the air conjured in her mind memories and the emotions associated with them. “Do you feel that?” she asked, reaching out to ground herself against Charter’s body. 

Charter did not answer, too focused on her own experience. Ellana saw ahead of her an image of herself being chased playfully by the other children from clan Lavellan. They chased each other down the corridor as if it were in the forest. At the end of the hallway the memory disappeared into nothingness. The next memory was of her mother telling her goodbye before she went foraging, her mother turned away and walked towards the end of the hallway, disappearing at the end. It was the memory of the day her mother died. 

Ellana had no chance to react because the corridor seemed to elongate itself, causing both her and Charter to lose footing at the change in perception. The veil fire along the walls shifted into unfamiliar shapes. Ellana could hear the whispering echo of voices in both Elvhen and an older dialect of the language. She could not understand the words, but they felt heavy with longing or unresolved sorrow.

“Have we walked into a trap?” Charter mourned beside her.

“The phrase and the writing indicated this was meant for allies,” Ellana reminded her. “I think it was made to be experienced in a reality where the Veil did not exist.”

“Some warped approximation then?” 

The women kept walking until they reached a chamber at the end of the hall. Opening the door, they walked inside. This room was unlike the sacrificial chamber, in it was an ethereal pool surrounded by veil fire. The space was quiet, reverent, and the light seemed to dance off of it as if it were shining through the liquid. The liquid in the pool was pearlescent but reflective and Ellana saw herself clearly. In the pool, images of memories played out. They were not the memories of either woman, but memories played through the eyes of others. The memories varied, some were joyous and some were miserable. 

Ellana felt the presence of the memories of many Elvhen. She closed her eyes trying to parse one presence from another. But one presence stood out more than the others because it was familiar. Solas! From the pool she could feel the weight of every choice he made, his regrets, and convictions.

This knowledge was not information to be learned, but a memory to be understood. Understood and integrated to guide future actions. This was a boon of Fen'Harel, a living echo of a world before the Veil.

Charter fell to her knees at the side of the pool. “Maker!” she exclaimed, overwhelmed by the gravity of what she witnessed. “I get it. This is what the world once was, what he hopes to restore.”

“Don’t get fooled by glitter, he wants to restore the world in his own image,” Ellana reminded Charter. This would not be Ellana’s first time tasting what it was like before the Veil. She remembered that first dream Solas created for her six years ago, how it made her feel similar to how she felt now. 

Distracted by Charter, Ellana lost the stability of her hand against the poolside and her hand fell into the pool. Suddenly she was transported to another location, away from her companion. “Charter? Charter?” she yelled into the air, but Charter was not there. Ellana was alone.

The space around her was distorted and vast. The air around her felt both intimate and infinite. Orienting herself, Ellana looked up and saw a globe-like object spinning above her, glowing a bright white light. Around the ball were five rings that spun in different directions. Is that how I got here? Ellana thought to herself. Around the floating object, floated bookshelves and on the floor in front of her was a stationary bookshelf. Behind the stationary bookshelf were two staircases on either side. The room was dim. “Is this a library?” she asked aloud to herself.

A voice shouted from a place in the room, but from a location she could not find. “Hello! Caretaker is that you?” The voice was remarkably familiar to Ellana. 

Standing still as a statue, she looked up towards the place where the staircases converged and staring down at her was, “Solas?” 

They stared at each other in silence for what felt like forever. It had been almost a year since they last spoke. Ellana looked back up at the floating orb and then back at him. The pool must have brought her here, she reasoned. But where was she?

Solas broke the silence first. “What…how did you get here?”

“Where am I? Where’s Charter?” Ellana looked around, suddenly remembering that her companion was lost. She felt afraid.

“How did you get here?” He repeated his voice, stern.

“I don’t know,” Ellana whispered. They had not shared a physical space in over six years. She was afraid of what he would do. 

“I did not bring you here. But something did and that should worry us both.” He sounded unsure, even concerned.

Wanting to diffuse the tension, Ellana offered, “I fell into a pool behind a false wall. To get there I had to say, ‘Ar’melana dirthavaren. Revas vir’anaris.’”

His eyes grew wide. “What did you say?”

“Ar’melana dirthavaren. Revas vir’anaris.”

“Who taught you that?” She was getting worried. Ellana could not bring herself to answer, and his voice was growing louder. “Where did you find one of my passageways?”

“Under Sundermount, inside a sacrificial chamber,” she said quicker than appropriate.

He suddenly moved down the left staircase towards where she stood. She felt the fear bubbling up in her, but it quickly dissipated when he pulled her into a hug. “Vhenan,” Solas whispered into her hair.

As they stood in their embrace. A spirit materialized next to them. “It seems that we have a visitor,” it said with its hands grasped together.

“Yes, thank you,” Solas said, waving it off. He broke apart from her and held her by both arms. “Are you real?” 

“Yes.” Ellana stared into his violet eyes. The weight of their past hung between them. Every exchange of intimacy, betrayal, fury, and unspoken care could be seen in his pupils. “It’s been so long.”

“You can’t be here. I need to send you back,” he said abruptly, pulling her by the arm up the staircase. He pulled her into the third room from the left staircase. It was a small room, which had a large aquarium for one of the walls. It looked like a meditation chamber. “Sit,” he said, motioning to the green daybed in the center of the room.

“Solas wait,” she said, reaching a hand in the air towards him. “It’s been so long, can we just have a moment?”

He took a deep breath and sat next to her on the bed. His fingers accidentally brushed against her fingers and a sudden spark erupted from where they made contact. In that spark, she felt moments from when they were lovers, allies, and even enemies. All of their shared history was felt, as much as remembered, in that single touch. 

Surprised, Ellana yanked her hand away. “What was that?”

“I apologize. We are in the Fade, in a place I’ve named the Lighthouse. As always, the Fade takes and amplifies emotions felt and shared between people.” Solas explained analyzing his own hand. Ellana watched him silently, feeling the hurt that still radiated from their last encounter and the subsequent year of silence. Looking at him, she could tell that her presence was more unsettling to him than he conveyed through his words. 

Solas kept scanning her appearance, most likely noticing the change in hair color. He then kept looking at her face, especially at the new scar she had earned that sat just below her earlobe. She noticed how briefly his eyes lingered on her shoulders, her hands. 

To her, Solas looked as lonely and tired as he did the previous time she saw him. Ellana noticed that the dreaming of the Fade filtered out much of the physical toll that his crusade was extracting on his body. He slumped and his lip had a slight quiver. His eyes darted around as if he were expecting an attack. 

She wanted to pick up their conversation where it last left off and he could tell. With a deep sigh, he encouraged, “go on, ask it anyway.”

“I have nothing to ask,” she clarified. “I told Varric about the titans; he was unexpectedly at peace with the knowledge.” 

“Of course he is, he knows nothing different.”

“Is that so bad?” she asked. Her eyes dropped to his mouth. Ellana’s mind told her no, but the physical intimacy seemed to appeal to his nature and encouraged openness more than just her words. 

Ellana rubbed her hands up his clothed thighs, guiding her body up until she was straddling him and he let her. Holding her in his lap, she kissed him, falling into her patterns, and throwing away all sensibility. Suddenly, it was like she did not spend the last year ashamed, apologizing for the very acts she was committing now. She kept going even though she knew it was wrong. 

When they broke the kiss, he used a hand to cradle her face. She leaned into it, looking up at him through her eyelashes. “Will you tell me the truth now?” she asked, her voice soft and as sweet as possible. Desire laced her tone.

He looked past her, focusing on nothing. His resolve was broken the moment he saw her at the bottom of the staircase, and they both knew it. Taking a breath he began, “Mythal summoned me from the Fade after I agreed to join her. She put me in a body of her making, the body you're sitting on now.” Ellana looked down at the body he was referring to. To think someone sculpted his form, from their likeness, was a bit jarring. She rubbed her hands against his chest feeling the solidness of his form. “My body was formed from titan blood; they died so that I may live in this form. Before long, I was branded with her mark, her blood writing bound me to her. I did all she asked.”

Tears formed in his eyes, threatening to fall. Ellana kissed his tears as he continued. “I loved her.” His voice cracked and Ellana felt a pang of unearned jealousy form in her chest. “I thought she would love me too, but instead she used me. Sent me to war, twisted me from my purpose and shaped me into something I wasn’t meant to be…I like to think it was out of necessity and not cruelty.”

He continued on, “When I removed her Vallaslin, I thought my connection to her would be severed…But I always felt called to give her the benefit of the doubt. Believed that one day she would leave Elgar’nan’s side and join me…she didn’t. Then she was murdered.” Ellana leaned her head at the underside of his chin, listening to his story. She tried to find something that would appeal to him and convince him to change his course. Solas was a god without a tether; an echo filled with grief and vengeance. “The Veil was an act of desperation, desperation of a dog who was released from his leash and had nowhere to go.”

“Don’t call yourself a dog,” Ellana instructed, her heart breaking at the words. “You don’t need to tear down the Veil to bring Mythal back. She was already here, through Flemeth and Morrigan.”

“Hollow approximations of what she once was,” he snapped bitterly. “You don’t think I know that bringing down the Veil won’t bring her back to life?”  Ellana realized the scale of his grief, the depth of his loneliness, and that much of his cruelty was born from the profound, intimate loss of his creator. “They would mock me, call me her lap dog.” Then much softer he said, “maybe I still am.”

The Solas she remembered loving never sounded like this. Ellana realized that she spent the last few years wanting Solas to be someone he probably never was, and she was unsure if Solas could ever truly be the man she fell in love with. He had become a stranger to her, warped from his true self and continuing on a path that reinforced this change. Solas could never and would never be a wisdom spirit again, and he refused to accept that. He refused to accept that he changed, and the world changed as well. A hard reset would not fix that.

She tried to say, “You could have been something else, if you chose to stay with me.” Ellana racked both of her hands along the back of his scalp. Leaning her forehead against his, she pressed their noses together. If he wanted to kiss her, he would need to initiate it…and he did. In this moment of pure vulnerability, Solas dropped his carefully crafted mask completely, shattering on the floor. In this moment there was no Fen’Harel, no Elvhen god, only a broken, battered man.

Suddenly, it was as if the betrayal never happened. As if none of the past eight years had occurred. It was as if they were two lovers, together for the first time. Uncertain, yet the weight of understanding nestled between them. Solas may have been lying to her, but to Ellana, it did not matter. Not right now. 

Not when she was no longer on top but underneath him. His breath was hot against the skin of her neck. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered against his forehead. “Knowing this about you doesn’t change how I feel. I believe you can do better… be better than what Mythal made you to be.”

“I wish I was the man you think I am,” he groaned against her neck.

“Then be it.” Then, their clothes were gone and the conversation melted away. He was inside her and she was in heaven. This, lying on a bed in a meditation chamber wrapped around him, this was paradise. 

When they were done, they dressed quickly and silently. Solas turned to her saying, “I lied. I did not want you to stay away because I wanted to protect you. It was because seeing you reminds me of everything I can’t have.” Ellana looked at the fish in the aquarium. She could feel what he was going to say next. “This cycle we keep falling into…we must end it. You can’t keep chasing echoes or I can’t keep pulling you back into my ruin.”

“Is this the end then?” she asked. Ellana understood, they could not keep compromising , no matter how wonderful it felt. If she continued to try and save him, it would destroy them both. “That means you’ll be my enemy, and I might have to make the ultimate decision.” 

She felt him walk up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and placed his chin to the top of her head. “If that’s what it must be, then so be it.” Ellana understood that this must be about stopping him. She would need to be ready to kill him if necessary and she assumed he felt the same way. 

Ellana felt herself and her vision became tenuous. She looked at her hands and saw that they looked like they were blinking in and out of reality. “It seems that whatever brought you here wants you back,” he said over her, still in the embrace.

Ellana closed her eyes, “Goodbye Vhenan.” She opened them to a frantic Charter staring over her. She was not in the chamber with the pool but back at the sacrificial altar. She lay on top of the altar, confused. 

“Merrill, stop! She’s awake,” Charter yelled towards Merrill. Merrill stopped what she was doing to Ellana’s body and took a step back.

“What’s happening?” Ellana asked, sitting up on the altar.

“You collapsed at the pool, and wouldn’t wake up,” Charter cried. “I dragged your body back here and we’ve been trying to wake you.”

“Good thinking having us wait behind then, we could have all been in trouble,” Varric said from Charter’s side. 

“I am so sorry,” Charter apologized. Ellana, realizing that it was her consciousness that was transported to the Lighthouse and not her body, sat all the way up and attempted to stand. Yet, she felt pressure in her lower half, as if she had been physically intimate. She was unsure.

“Be careful Sunbeam. Charter said you took quite the hit on the head,” Varric warned.

“I want to tell you all what happened,” Ellana said. “But let's wait until we are back at the estate. And if I hit my head, I need to see a proper healer. Merrill, how'd you wake me up?”

“Blood magic,” the woman winked.

***

Turns out, Ellana had a pretty severe concussion and was recommended to stay bedbound for three days. In those three days, she gave detail about what happened between her and Solas, leaving out the more intimate moments of their embrace, but shared the information she learned. She gave the layout of the ‘Lighthouse’ and explained the caretaker that resided there with him. 

Ellana offered a job for Merrill. She explained that if she were interested in knowing more about Morrigan, that the woman was in Arlathan forest and she could contact her. Ellana thought that Merrill’s abilities could be useful to Morrigan and the growing Veil anomalies in that region. When she offered, Merrill looked overly excited and took the offer immediately.

“Are you going to be alright, Sunbeam?” Varric asked as they sat alone together in his study.

“I don’t want to have to kill him, but…I will do what I must,” she said. “Don’t blame me if I cry during it though.”

“I would not ever think to do that,” he replied. “Charter is growing worried.”

“I know,” Ellana affirmed. “She asked if she could use my mantle to get people to show up places under the guise that they’re meeting the Inquisitor.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her to have fun but don’t get killed,” Ellana shrugged, earning a chuckle from Varric.

Chapter Text

Story Seven

Solace, 9:51 Dragon. Bells rang through the halls of the Montilyet estate as Ellana sat on the balcony bench of her assigned guest suite sipping from a glass of wine and reading a published history of the Montilyet dynasty through the Blessed age. Ellana thought it a nice touch that the Montilyet family included in each suite a volume of a published work recounting their extensive family history. Ellana’s suite included a tome of the family history during the Blessed age, as well as a history of the land that the estate sat upon. The wine, which was included in her guest gift basket, was exceptional as well, Antivan, as expected and produced at the family estate. Also included in her gift basket was a robe, slippers, bath oils, frilly soaps, and a box of Orlesian chocolates.

Ellana was in attendance of the most anticipated event of the summer, the wedding of Former Ambassador to the Inquisition, Ambassador to Orlais, and Heir to House Montilyet, Lady Josephine Cherette Montilyet, and Former Commander to the Inquisition Army and Former Templar Knight-Captain, Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford. The wedding festivities had entered their fifth day. That morning the guests attended an Antivan tea ceremony and had brunch. The afternoon was free, but the evening would hold a grand party that would see the main courtyard of the estate transformed into an outdoor casino. The next day would be free except for small events. And finally, the day after that will be the wedding ceremony. 

Ellana’s balcony overlooked the estate’s vineyards that grew the grapes for the wine she was currently drinking. The open box of chocolates sat next to her and every few pages of the book, Ellana would break off a small chunk and pop it into her mouth. Marking her page and placing the book down, Ellana grabbed the rest of the chocolate and walked into the suite. 

Hearing a knock at the door, she answered. On the other side was a human servant girl, no older than 20 years old, holding a freshly laundered dress. “Hello, my Lady, your dress has arrived,” the servant said eagerly.

“Thank you, Magdalena,” Ellana replied sweetly, taking the dress from the young woman.

“Yes, my lady,” Magdalena replied. “I was also asked to give you this message.” She handed Ellana an envelope, marked with her title, written in Charter’s handwriting.

“Thank you, have a good evening,” Ellana replied, closing the door. Ellana laid the dress out on the bed. For this evening’s affair Ellana ordered a deep burgundy silk dress from tailor Atelier Fiorella, who was more than eager to create a dress for the Inquisitor. Fiorella was so eager in fact that she made every dress Ellana wore for the wedding festival.

Opening the letter, Ellana read:

Inquisitor,

There will be two special guests joining the wedding this evening. They requested to meet with the Inquisitor; thus, I have arranged a meeting. It will be held the second hour of the event. I will meet you at the golden drake fountain.

Charter

Hmmm, intriguing, Ellana thought to herself before placing the letter on the table next to the gift basket and chocolate. As she walked over to pull the dress from the dress bag and hung it up, she heard another knock at the door. Walking over to the door and opening it, she was greeted by Magister Dorian Pavus.

“I saw the servant girl delivering your dress,” he said walking around her and into the room. “I wanted to see it. My doublet and hose were delivered. It’s green with a feathered cap and belt; gold with emeralds obviously.”

“It’s burgundy, as you can see,” Ellana said, unwrapping the dress. “The bodice fitted and flared at the waist.” Pulling it out of the bag, they could see that the dress had long sleeves, slashed to reveal inner layers of gold brocade. The bodice was embroidered with gold thread in a stylized rose pattern. “I was thinking of wearing the garnet necklace that one of the Orlesian bachelor’s gifted with their marriage proposal. Remember when I received it? Josephine actually tried to convince me to marry that man.”

“I do remember, your lover was not happy about it,” Dorian said with amusement. Ellana smiled thinking back on the memory with fondness. “Did you bring your entire jewelry box?”

“Yeah, it’s all the jewelry I received from during the Inquisition days,” Ellana said walking over to the mentioned silver box. “I might have to start re-wearing items.”

“Absolutely not,” Dorian scoffed. “We will ask Josephine or Vivienne if we have to, but you, and the Inquisitor, cannot and will not be ‘re-wearing’ jewelry.”

“Fine, I was exacerbating a bit,” she said, rolling her eyes. “This is the fifth necklace, and I have two more. I plan to wear the diamond necklace that Gaspard gifted for the wedding.”

“Oh yes,” he nodded. “Those nobles won’t know what hit them.”

“How are you feeling this evening?” Ellana asked, while hanging up the dress. “I saw that Bull arrived yesterday, did you talk to him?”

“I said hello when I saw him at the ‘La Tavola del Vento’ last night,” Dorian replied. “He was happy to see me, I was happy to see him, even if seeing him happy made me a bit sad. He is happy even without me in his life.”

“You’re happy too though, or so I thought?” she asked.

“I am definitely…something,” he answered. “I thought that since he was barely around for the last ten years, having his presence gone completely wouldn’t be so…jarring. I didn’t account for the time spent talking via sending stones or the vacations or…” Dorian trailed off. “Well, anyway, enough about that. I will let you get ready.” Ellana could guess what Dorian would have said next. He missed the partnership a romantic relationship offered. She knew this because she missed it too.

***

“Good evening, Lady Inquisitor,” greeted Yves Montilyet, the current head of House Montilyet. He, along with his wife, Isabella Montilyet, greeted the guests at the casino event named, ‘Noche di Fortuna.’ “We are humbled that you choose to join us this evening. This event was organized exclusively by our Josie, who you know, loves to gamble.”

“That, I do know,” Ellana responded, knowingly. “Her groom however…” Ellana trailed off looking around. “This is beautiful, Lord and Lady Montilyet. I am gracious for the invitation.” She curtsied to the couple, who then moved onto greeting the next guest. 

Ellana followed the line to greet Cullen’s parents. “Good evening, Lady Inquisitor,” greeted Stanton Rutherford. He, along with his wife, Eleanor Rutherford, were the second party in line to greet guests behind the Lord and Lady Montilyet. “Thank you for joining us this evening.”

“I know you know my son very well,” Eleanor greeted. “I am so happy to see so many of those he loves here tonight. He is so nervous.” Ellana smiled at the woman.

“Eleanor,” Stanton groaned. “Don’t tell the guests the groom is nervous.”

“Don’t worry,” Ellana waved. “I know Cullen better than most. I’m sure he is nervous.” The two parents bid her a good evening and Ellana nodded walking into the thick of the party.

She was immediately approached by a servant carrying a tray of champagne in crystal flutes. Grabbing one she sauntered over to the Custodi delle Monete to exchange her andris for casino chips. Reading the sign, it seemed the buy-in for the night was set to two bastards. Ellana stared at the sign confused.

“Two bastards is outrageous,” Cassandra complained, stepping up to the side of the woman. “And I don’t even gamble.”

“What is a bastard?” Ellana whispered under her breath so that no one heard her ignorance.

“Five thousand andris,” Cassandra answered, earning a choking sound from Ellana. 

“I don’t think I brought that much money down from my suite,” Ellana chuckled.

“I didn’t bring that much money to Antiva, period,” Cassandra frowned, adjusting the skirt of her verdant damask gown. 

As she pulled at the skirt the subtle floral pattern in both the bodice and skirt caught in the light. The gown was laced in front with a gold cord wound through eyelets, and a front underskirt panel of golden lace over cream silk was visible through the open front of the skirt. Over the years, Cassandra allowed her hair to lengthen, and she had it braided and wrapped in a golden hair net, studded with small pearls and green emeralds. The hair net was a gift from Divine Victoria for Cassandra to wear during the wedding. 

Cassandra stood next to Ellana drinking what smelled like a Cafecito. As they looked onto the crowd, a servant with a plate of Antivan olives walked by and offered the two women some. Both partook on the olives. “Oh my, these are delicious,” Ellana moaned, while chewing. 

The two women walked towards the center of the space, stopping to listen to the band play. They were playing multiple lutes in tandem, creating an atmosphere that was melodic, refined, and unobtrusive to the events playing out around them. As they played, Ellana was approached by Yvette Gabriella Montilyet, who she had previously met at the Winter Palace during the Winter Ball, about nine years ago. Yvette was a joyful young woman, who seemed overly excited that her sister’s friend was the Inquisitor. Every time she came across Ellana during the wedding, she would squeal her title to her. Ellana did not mind; she appreciated the enthusiasm.

“Inquisitor! Lady Pentaghast!” Yvette squealed, clearly a bit buzzed. “It’s good to see you tonight. I chose this band, they’re my favorite.” Yvette took a sip from her glass. “Have you seen my sister? She looks amazing.”

“No, where is she?” Ellana asked. Yvette pointed towards the front of the casino space. 

“Up there, I think she was talking to King Fulgeno,” she giggled. “You should see Cullen…he hates his outfit, but he looks so handsome.” Her attention was suddenly grabbed elsewhere. “Oh! There’s my future sister-in-law; I’m going to go say hello. Bye Inquisitor. Bye Lady Pentaghast.”

Once Yvette was out of sight, Cassandra turned to Ellana. “Let’s go say hello to the bride and groom.” 

Josephine and Cullen looked as handsome as expected. Ellana thought that they had made a beautiful couple and the sight of them caused tears to want to form in her eyes. Josephine wore a champagne gold velvet gown, fitted through the bodice and laced in front with a silver cord. 

When she turned, the neckline shimmered with silver lace and the crimson silk underneath her slashed sleeves glowed. The gown opened at the front to reveal a decorative underskirt made of patterned silk, studded with pearls. Josephine’s hair was braided and pinned, with crimson ribbons woven throughout. She wore a gold filigree tiara, a diamond collar necklace, and matching diamond earrings. 

Cullen wore a deep crimson velvet doublet, richly tailored and fitted, with silver embroidery along the seams and shoulders. Underneath, he wore a white linen shirt with gathered sleeves and lace-trimmed cuffs. The doublet was laced up the front with a braided silver cord. 

His hose were made of black wool, tucked into soft leather boots, and a silver-trimmed belt held a small ceremonial dagger. A short velvet cape, lined with champagne silk, rested over his right shoulder. His hair was neatly cut and styled, and he wore a jeweled Montilyet signet ring on his left hand. Additionally, he wore a silver brooch, engraved with the Montilyet family crest which pinned his cape in place. At his feet sat his noble Mabari, dressed in a dog’s equivalent of what his father wore. 

The couple were conversing with King Fulgeno, who seemed extremely interested in the conversation. Josephine was engrossed in the conversation, of course, but Cullen looked like he really wanted to do something else. Nevertheless, he kept a smile plastered across his face. Ellana and Cassandra waited patiently as their conversation wrapped up, with them both curtsying for the king as he passed. 

Josephine lit up at the sight of her girlfriends. Cullen smiled, his nervousness still evident. “Well don’t you two look lovely,” Josephine greeted as she gave both Ellana and Cassandra a hug. “Don’t they look lovely, Cullen?”

“They do,” he answered, nodding. “Say hello Mischief.” The Mabari wagged its tail in response. 

“You two look wonderful,” Cassandra complimented. “Are you hot under all that Cullen?”

Cullen gave a pained laugh in response. “My future husband is being a good sport this evening. Once he gets used to the wool hose, he should be okay.”

“They itch,” Cullen complained. 

Josephine motioned that she was going to give Ellana a hug. Josephine wrapped her arms around the woman’s shoulders, pulling her in close. They were ear to ear when Josephine whispered, “I cannot thank you enough, Ellana, for bringing the two of us back together.”

“I hope the two of you make each other the happiest people in Thedas,” Ellana hoped, making eye contact with Cullen. He smiled at her in response. The two women pulled apart. When Josephine told Ellana that she and Cullen had begun courtship, Ellana immediately informed Josephine that she and Cullen had been intimate. Josephine considered that information, thanked Ellana, and chose to continue the relationship. Josephine reasoned that many of the members of the friend group had been intimate with one another and it should not affect future relationships or friendships. 

On day two of the festivities, Ellana noticed Thom Rainier walking around and participating in the activities. She was happy to see that his and Cullen’s friendship did not end over the marriage. Thom had become one of Cullen’s closest friends after the war and not having him at his wedding would have been hard for Cullen. When Cullen informed her that Thom actually agreed to be a groomsman, she was overjoyed.

“I have someone I want you to meet,” Josephine said. “It's my brother, he is still unmarried…”

“Oh, I don’t know if marriage is in my future Josie—”

“I didn’t think I’d ever get married either and look at me,” Cullen interrupted. “Just meet him, for Josie?”

“You both think I should meet him?”

“It couldn’t hurt Ellana,” Cassandra chimed in. “Cullen is right, you don’t know your future.” 

Ellana felt nervous talking about dating and actually moving on from Solas with another man. Sure, hookups are nice but to start a life with someone seemed really daunting, given the level of betrayal she experienced during the aforementioned relationship. “Which brother?” Ellana asked, her voice shaky.

“Laurien, the oldest one, he just turned 32” Josephine answered. Noticing Ellana’s uneasy expression, she added, “But if you are uncomfortable, I won’t make the introduction.” 

“But I am 34,” she mentioned. “Does he know I am older than him?”

“Yes,” Josephine emphasized. “He asked to meet you.” 

“Okay...maybe,” Ellana conceded.

After Ellana was introduced to Laurien and mingled with some of her other friends, she felt that two hours had passed. Laurien was a handsome young man. He looked and acted like a male version of Josephine. He was extremely excited to meet Ellana and asked if she would spend a few hours in the afternoon with him tomorrow. Ellana was nervous, embarrassed, and said that she would think about it. Josephine was amused but was still understanding of Ellana’s unease. After her brother excused himself, she whispered to Ellana that she would probably be receiving a gift from Laurien in the morning to help her consider. 

Ellana then found Varric, talked to him for a short while and then caught up with Vivienne, who Ellana had not seen at all in the last seven years. Saying goodbye to Cassandra, Ellana made her way over to the golden drake fountain, which sat under the entrance of the main estate. There she found Charter, waiting for her, wearing a wool teal gown with a laced bodice and matching sleeves. Her hair was coiled and secured in place with an ornate dagger, and she wore a pendant necklace that matched the dagger. “Good evening,” Charter greeted as Ellana approached her. “Let’s not keep our guests waiting.”

Charter led Ellana into the estate and into a small study. There was a desk and on the far side sat two individuals. One was a human man who looked to be in his mid-thirties with a well-manicured beard. He wore a dark plum velvet doublet with subtle embroidery. The other was an Elf woman, who looked to be in her early-thirties with curly hair pulled into an intricate bun. She also wore a velvet gown in a deep plum color with black lace trim, a laced bodice, and matching sleeves. From their matching attire, they looked like they were a couple or at least attended the party together. 

Once the two women were seated, Charter introduced their guests. “Lady Inquisitor, I would like to introduce you to Viago de Riva, Fifth Talon of the Antivan Crows as well as Andarateia Cantori, Seventh Talon of the Antivan Crows.”

“I am well acquainted with the Antivan Crows, but I have not had the pleasure to meet any of the Talons,” Ellana answered, choosing her words carefully. “I understand that meeting any of the Crows does not usually end well for the other party.”

“Our reputation precedes us then,” Viago spoke first. “I assure you that our presence is not due to a contract.”

“Then no one is going to be assassinated during this wedding?” Ellana asked.

Andarateia chuckled. “Well, we cannot promise that, Inquisitor,” she said. “But we are not here for work. Lady Montilyet is a powerful woman, and we are here to honor both her and the crow's interests. We also wanted to take the opportunity to discuss shared interests with the Inquisition. An organization whose leader has a reputation which precedes her as well”

“Hmmm,” Ellana hummed. “And what interests does the Inquisition and the Antivan Crows share?” Ellana looked between the two Talons, their faces like stone. They looked pleased to be in her presence, but apart from that, she could not read them at all. They reminded her of the Fen’Harel persona, how that demeanor was presented. 

Andarateia looked towards Viago to continue. “We have reason to believe that the Qunari are planning an invasion of Antiva. We understand that you’ve stopped multiple Qunari invasion schemes within the last ten years and are interested in consulting with you.”

“You want me to stop a possible invasion that has yet to occur?”

“No,” he answered. “The Crows rule Antiva and are her protectors. We would prefer you not to be involved directly. Like I said, we are interested in consultation.”

“Such as?”

“Comparing notes,” Andarateia chimed in. “I am sure that over the years you’ve compiled information of Qunari spies, their locations, those who would be empathetic to our cause, location of Qunari safe houses, forces, and so forth.” The young woman smiled at the end of her statement. 

“Lady Josephine has been the Inquisition's contact for the Crows,” Charter added. “As she will be busy on her honeymoon, I will be more than willing to fill the role, if the Inquisitor allows.” Charter nodded towards Ellana and waited for her response. 

“We can draft a contract, if that makes anyone feel more comfortable,” Viago offered. “Crows always fulfill their contracts.”

“I agree to those terms,” Ellana agreed. “How soon could this contract be drafted?”

“By the end of the wedding,” Viago answered smiling. He looked pleased. Andarateia and Charter looked pleased as well. 

“Thank you for meeting with us Inquisitor,” Andarateia nodded towards both Charter and Ellana. 

Charter and Ellana said their goodbyes and left the room. Once they were down the hall, Ellana turned to Charter and asked, “You seemed to want to make a deal with the Crows?”

“Yes,” she answered. “I am hoping that we can draft a contract that will serve the Inquisition interests as we were able to do during the war. Protection in Antiva would be invaluable insurance.”

“Let’s rejoin the party then,” Ellana suggested. 

***

Ellana woke the next morning to a gift delivery as promised by Josephine. Along with a dozen roses tied with a silk ribbon, sat a wooden box with the Montilyet crest engraved on the top. Inside the box was a Chantry prayer book with the Montilyet crest on the front cover and an ivory hand mirror lined with gilded filigree. The mirror was stunning and reflected Ellana’s beauty majestically. She blushed at the gift once she caught sight of herself in the mirror. She did not want to pursue anything with anyone, not believing that anyone as broken as her should be burdened onto anyone, but she felt that she at least owed Laurien a response. Maybe, she thought that she could at least spend an hour with the young man and if she enjoyed his company maybe even more. 

Thus, Ellana found herself sitting in the vineyard with Laurien during the high noon, sipping espresso and learning about the wine making process. Laurien was interesting to listen to but the two did not seem to have much in common. Ellana was a war leader, and Laurien had chosen to pursue the family wine making business. She was a hardened warrior, and he was a vintner and viticulturist. She lived a nomadic lifestyle, and he had not left Antiva in three years. Overall, the date was enjoyable, and he was very handsome, but the two realized that their lives were too different to nurture a successful relationship. This resolution was very pleasing to Ellana.

The rest of the day was uneventful, other than the delivery of Ellana’s dress for the wedding. The ceremony itself would be a crowning example of Cullen’s Ferelden culture, with the couple and guests wearing Ferelden fashion and the ceremony will follow the traditional Ferelden Chantry service. For the ceremony, Ellana wore her hair parted down the center and braided into two braids, the braids were coiled around her ears and hidden beneath a translucent silk veil. The veil was pinned to a linen chin band and silver circlet, embellished with tiny seed pearls stitched in the shape of vines. 

Her dress was a deep blue wool gown, lined with silk at the cuffs and hem. The sleeves were long and trumpet-shaped, falling just about the ground in silken folds. The inner cuff of each sleeve was embroidered with tiny Inquisition emblems. The bodice of the dress was fitted and laced beneath her arms. Around her waist she wore a cord made of braided silk, and her prized diamond earring and necklace set gifted to her by Emperor Gaspard for helping him to secure the Orlesian throne. 

After the Reverend Mother performed the wedding rites at the door of the Chantry, the couple and the attendants came inside, followed close behind by the guests. Ellana sat with the rest of her friends from the Inquisition. Kneeling at the front of the altar for their Nuptial Chant was the bride and groom. Ellana’s dress may have been stunning, but nothing compared to the beauty that was Josephine. Cullen looked fine, sure, but his wife was a remarkable sight. Josephine wore a flowing cloth of gold houppelande with a subtle damask pattern woven into the fabric, with side sleeves and a long train. The dress was lined with white fur and trimmed with silver-thread embroidery of the diplomatic symbols of countries and organizations, in which Josephine served, blended with branches, scrolls, and doves. 

Her headdress was a silver heart-shaped henin, veiled in white silk that was edged with pearls. A jeweled circlet rested at the base of the hennin, and it was made with filigree gold set with diamonds. At her waist sat a belt of gold chain links, suspending a signet medallion of Antiva. Around her neck, Josephine wore a livery collar.

Cullen wore a tailored silver brocade doublet with gold fastenings and heraldic designs woven into the fabric; the sleeves and hem were embroidered with crossed swords, lions, and laurel wreaths in gold thread. As his over gown, he wore a long black velvet houppelande lined with cloth-of-gold and trimmed with silver fur. He wore a heavy cloth-of-gold cloak, pinned over his right shoulder with a gold lion’s-head clasp. The back of the cloak bore a faint embroidery of the Inquisition seal.

He also wore a silver-grey chaperon hat with a gold tail and a medallion brooch bearing the Inquisition insignia. Resting on a cushion near the altar sat his ceremonial sword, which he removed once they entered the Chantry. The sword was a silver scabbard with gilded hilt, inscribed on the hilt was the motto “Into Darkness. Unafraid.”

The couple knelt and received their blessing from the Reverend Mother, and she gave a short Chant. Afterwards the Reverend Mother allowed each person to exchange parting words before the end of the ceremony. When they did this, Cullen and Josephine turned towards each other and held hands, they exchanged words between the two of them, privately. The Mother held a veil over the couple as they kissed sealing their union. 

By the end, Ellana was in tears, the charcoal around her eyes a complete mess. She tried to hold it in, but when they turned towards each other and whispered among themselves, she completely lost it. Such a public display of the love between to people affected Ellana more than she thought it would have. Through her tears, she heard Vivienne chuckle and joke to Dorian, “You’d think she was the one getting married.” 

***

The reception was in full swing with many foreign dignitaries and acquaintances of the couple arriving one by one after the couple’s arrival. Ellana found herself talking to Dagna and Cole who were busy setting up a fireworks display. Cullen had asked if Dagna would be willing to be both a guest and do a firework display for the reception as a gift to Josephine who really enjoyed the displays. Of course, Dagna agreed, and that morning she had convinced Cole to help her out, since the man liked experiencing new things. 

“Do you think you’ll get married, Dagna?” Cole asked. The ceremony fascinated Cole, and he had been asking every one of their friends if they wanted to get married. Ellana had said she did not know but she knew for certain she did not have nearly as much money as it took to have a wedding to rival the Montilyet-Rutherford’s.

“I am not sure, Cole, if marriage is in my cards, maybe one day,” she shrugged while rigging the explosive. “Do you want to get married?”

“Yes, then I can help someone like Josephine and Cullen help each other,” he answered. 

As they worked and Ellana stood and watched, Ellana was approached by Charter and Andarateia. Ellana noticed that Andarateia’s dress was noticeably more refined and expensive than the dress she had worn for the previous event. “You remember our friend from before?” Charter asked as they approached.

“I do. Andarateia correct?” Ellana asked.

“Teia is sufficient,” she answered. “We are ready with our agreement.” Ellana nodded and followed the two women to the room in which they met before. Viago was already present and nodded as the women sat at the desk. “Do you remember Viago?”

“I do,” Ellana answered.

“Good, then let us begin.” Teia picked up a bag from between her and Viago and pulled out a sheet of paper. “Charter and I worked very hard on this, so don’t dismiss it without at least pretending to read the entire thing.” She handed the paper to Ellana who began to read in her head. “Read it aloud please.”

Ellana read:

“PARTNERSHIP AGREEMENT

This Agreement (“Agreement”) is made and entered into on the 17th of Solace, 9:51 Dragon, by and between the Antivan Crows (“Party A”), and the Inquisition (“Party B”).

WHEREAS Party A is engaged in activities to secure the interests of Antiva; and

WHEREAS Party B desires to provide information for the completion of Party A’s engagements.

NOW, THEREFORE, the parties agree as follows:

The Party A agrees to provide the following services:

1. Physical protection of Party B’s members when in the territory of Antiva
2. Immunity for Party B’s members from any Contracts that any third party negotiates with Party A

In exchange for these services, Party B agrees to:

1. Provide Party A with all known locations of Antaam agents within the territory of Antiva
2. Provide names of Antaam agents who are sympathetic to the Inquisition

All work will be performed in accordance with these specifications as agreed upon in writing.

The services are expected to commence upon signing and will discontinue upon renegotiation of the terms of the agreement. Any changes to this timeline must be agreed upon in writing by both parties.

This Agreement shall remain in effect indefinitely or until terminated by both parties within 7 days’ written notice. In the event of termination, all services will cease, and Party A will return any information given up to the termination date.

Both parties agree to maintain confidentiality indefinitely regarding all proprietary information exchanged during the course of this Agreement. This document represents the entire agreement between the parties and supersedes all prior discussions, agreements, or understandings of any kind.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the parties have executed this Agreement as of the date first above written:”

“Then there is a space for all of us to sign,” Ellana finished and placed the document back on the table.

“What do you think, Inquisitor?” Charter asked Ellana.

“I think that you both did an excellent job,” she answered, nodding to both Charter and Teia.

“We aim to please, Inquisitor,” Teia replied, leaning forward onto the desk. 

“Well color me pleased,” she grinned at the woman.

“Anyway,” Viago cut in. “If the terms are acceptable, let us sign. I assume you also brought your own seal?”

“That is correct,” Charter answered. The four people present each wrote and signed their names at the bottom of the contract. Charter and Viago sealed the contract with each insignia cast in wax. It was official, the Inquisition held a contract with Antivan Crows. 

“Well, let’s get back to the party before anyone notices that we are gone, yes?” Teia suggested. Thankfully, no one noticed that absence. Ellana could only wonder how many secret diplomatic meetings were taking place under the backdrop of the reception. 

They were able to sneak back in at the beginning of the banquet, which lasted the next three hours. Dinner was served across ten courses, each more fanciful than the last. After dinner, the actors performed a Commedia dell'arte, which she enjoyed very much. It reminded Ellana of the production Josephine took her to during their time at the Exalted Council. After the entertainment, there was a formal gift presentation.

The gift presentation ended with Dagna releasing the fireworks, aweing the crowd. Josephine was incredibly grateful for her gift and gave Dagna a big hug in response. As night fell, Josephine and Cullen retreated to their chambers, while the rest of the guests continued the celebration. 

Currently, Ellana found herself in conversation with Cassandra and both of Cullen’s sisters, Mia and Rosalie. “Is your family planning to move to Antiva?” Cassandra asked the two sisters. They were sitting amongst one another in Ellana’s suite. After the party wrapped, she had invited them to talk in her room since she never had the pleasure of meeting them. 

Ellana heard Mia’s answer but did not process it, and she probably would not remember the answer tomorrow. She was staring out on the balcony into the summer night sky daydreaming. Lost in thought about where her lost love was and if he knew that everyone came together this evening to celebrate late-blooming love. “The gift the Chantry sent was beautiful, Cassandra” Ellana heard Rosalie praise, but the response she did not hear. She was lost in  her imagination, imagining what it would have been like to get married today. But, of course, that was not her destiny. 

Chapter Text

Story Eight

Haring, 9:51 Dragon, the month the Antaam invaded Antiva. The information provided by the Inquisition to the Crows was insufficient and the Crows were unable to protect Antiva from the looming threat. At the time of the wedding, she was not aware, but Ellana later learned that the Crows were interested in a Contract with the Inquisition because the Antaam had successfully assassinated three of the seven Talons. The first city to fall to Antaam was Treviso.

By the end of the month, Antiva City fell under siege while Josephine and Cullen were out of county tending to his expanding templar sanctuary. Her parents were rounded up along with other nobles and executed, leaving her siblings under occupation. Josephine, the new head of household, stayed in exile, not wanting to risk her unborn child and urging from her brother not to return. The King of Antiva was spared and wrote a truce between the Antivan Throne and the Antaam that honored the occupation.  That same month the Antaam invaded Rivain, gaining control of most of the north, attacking ships across the eastern coast of Thedas, and on the Waking Sea.

Ellana had received two separate missives with the information. One from Cullen and one from Josephine. Cullen’s missive was filled with guilt and lamenting how he felt he ruined Josephine’s life by taking her away from her family. Even if temporary. He also shared how he did not feel like he was suitable for Josephine due to his past in the Templar order, his radicalization, and his past addiction. He mostly felt guilt for impregnating the woman and how she was now stranded away from what was left of her family for fear of losing their heir. Ellana tried to comfort him and reminded him of his capability and worth. But, privately, Ellana felt he should have processed these feelings before they were wed and especially before Josephine became pregnant. 

Josephine’s missive was wrought with grief. Grief for her parents, her country, her siblings, and herself. She shared how she was terrified for her child and did not know what future they would be born into. Ellana could not bear to remind her about the Veil and the looming magical threat, so she did not. Nor did she share with her the contents of Cullen’s missive. Instead, she comforted her and reminded her that she and her child would be safer in the Hinterlands than in Antiva. And she promised that the Inquisition would try and have her siblings smuggled to South Reach to be with Cullen’s family if not to the Hinterlands to be with them.

The information from the east stunned Ellana who was spending the winter in Arlathan Forest, the former capital of Elvhenan, working with Morrigan and her Veil Jumpers to investigate Elvhen artifacts that were growing unstable due to the actions of Fen’Harel. The growing magical energies in Arlathan Forest lead to Morrigan relocating to the area. When she realized that the energies were more than she alone could handle, she formed the group to investigate, stabilize, and/or retrieve these Elvhen artifacts.

More than just that, the news Charter shared with her shocked her even more. Standing across from her within a tent, Charter informed her, “He wanted me to tell you he was sorry.” Charter then told her of the meeting she set posing as the Inquisitor at The Teahouse in Hunter Fell. She held a meeting which consisted of a Carta Assassin, an Orlesian Bard, a Mortalitasi, and an Executor all with interests concerning The Dread Wolf. She told Ellana how the Orlesian Bard was Solas in disguise, and how he murdered everyone present. 

***

Wintermarch, 9:52 Dragon. These events led Ellana to where she was now. She wore her glamour for this meeting, not concerned about her Vallaslin, because it looked so different from her other disguises. She and Charter sat in a Kirkwall tavern across from Varric Tethras, sharing a pitcher of ale between the three of them. 

“It’s up to us and only us to find Solas. I’m trusting you with this Varric,” Charter said, trying to convince the Dwarf. Ellana was quiet, she opted to listen to the conversation rather than participate. Her hope was starting to dwindle, and the severity of the situation was weighing on her. 

Varric would glance at her periodically, his face showing pity every time he did. “You’re dumping this on me? That’s generous of you, Charter.”

“But there is no one I, or the Inquisitor, trust more than you…and Harding,” she said while taking a sip.

“Harding!” he yelled louder than he should have, earning shushing from both women. Much lower he added, “You know that's a terrible idea, don't you? Yes of course, if anyone could track Solas, it’d be Scout Harding and yes, she wouldn’t hesitate for a second to help if we asked her…”

“But…” Charter led.

“...But Harding sees the best in people, and Solas can manipulate that. Get her to hesitate,” He rubbed his head. “And if we’re going up against the Dread Wolf, who broke the world and can turn people to stone, that hesitation is going to get her killed.”

“That’s why you're here,” Ellana said, finally speaking up. Both people were surprised to hear her voice. Despite that, she continued, “I need the person who put together the team to know exactly what Solas is capable of.”

Varric took a deep breath. “Team? Me and Harding sure. But I’ve never been on a team that didn’t get stabbed in the back.”

“Then make it a small team. Like I said, there’s no one I trust more than you,” Ellana emphasized.

“Great, no way this could go wrong. Again,” he shook his head.

“You'll find a way. You must find a way. We both know what’s at stake if you don't,” Ellana started into his eyes, hoping he understood. 

***

Drakonis, 9:52 Dragon. Ellana was in shock, as what felt was her new default state, she sat in Dorian’s study staring at the letter Varric had sent her. It was a letter written to him from Solas; it read:

You need not have worried. The artifact was never in danger of falling into Venatori hands. I hope that in time you give up this pursuit. What must be done will be done cautiously, and I will limit the damage as best I can. I have no wish to be the villain in one of your stories, but interfering in matters you do not understand can only make things worse.

- Solas

[Written underneath the original letter is a note written by Varric Tethras to the Inquisitor]

Sunbeam,

We believe Solas is making his way to Miranthous. We will be heading there as well. If all goes well, we can throw a little party.

- V

Ellana crumpled up the paper, tears falling into her hands and the crumpled mess. Realizing she was destroying a lead, she quickly unfurled the paper. Straightening it out and smoothing the edges.

This letter came much too late to be of any use. Ellana already knew Solas was possibly somewhere within Miranthous. Multiple attacks on Venatori sites throughout the city had been attributed to him. He stole artifacts, which angered them, but what angered them more was that he was freeing their slaves. 

News of the liberations inspired revolts throughout the city with some former slaves turning towards the Shadow Dragons for help. They were welcomed with open arms and the group became large enough to warrant their own headquarters in Dock Town. The Dread Wolf’s name had become a common sound whispered throughout the streets. It was disconcerting to Ellana, given their history and what he planned to accomplish. But it was also comforting to see her people gain an ounce of power and feel emboldened to wield it. 

One such slave revolt was that of the slaves of a Venatori Magister, whose name Ellana did not care to learn. Rumor was that he was trying to create a massive army of Elvhen slaves in order to forcibly overthrow the Archon; the number had grown to at least 100 slaves. Word was that Solas had infiltrated the slave dwelling and commenced fifteen slaves to escape using kitchen utensils as weapons. As they made their way through the dwelling more and more joined, causing panic within the master’s household. 

The Magister called for the help of the Imperial Templars to maintain order, but it was no use. One hundred Elvhes plus Solas rose up against them and fled into the night. Some died, but many more escaped into freedom. Five of those escapees, who were tranquil mages, were smuggled into Arlathan Forest by the Shadow Dragons to join the Veil Jumpers who could use their alchemy skills. The majority either joined the ranks of the Dread Wolf or continued to run. 

Knowing that Solas was out freeing her people from bondage reminded her of why she fell in love with him. This was the person he showed her during those months they were still together. This version of himself, that worked for freedom and wanted to better the circumstances of others. The version of himself who stood up for those who were oppressed or in bondage. But another part of Ellana was frustrated as to why he refused to show that to her. Why would he not work to better the world as it was, together, instead of throwing it all away and starting fresh.

Ellana was pulled out of her thoughts by a sudden interruption. “Ellana!” Charter called her name as she walked into the room. Behind her, she was closely trailed by Varric and Lace Harding. “Look who was snooping around.”

“Sunbeam, we have a situation, or we had a situation,” Varric introduced as they all gathered around the place where Ellana sat. 

“Where’s Solas?” Ellana asked. She was confused as to why they were in front of her instead of out in the field.

“We missed him,” Harding answered. Ellana felt her frustration and anger bubbling up. Did they not understand the gravity of the situation? Harding felt like an easy target and Ellana was close to using her.

Varric could see it in her face that Ellana was unhappy and added, “We made it to Miranthous and found a slave that he freed. He said that there was a rumor Solas planned to get smuggled out of Miranthous through the canals that night but that turned out to be a trap to capture some of the escaped slaves. We saved them from being put back into bondage and lost his trail.”

“When did this happen?” Ellana asked.

“Last night,” he answered. “We think he knows us too well.” He paused for a moment, choosing his words. “We want to hire someone new, someone Solas does not know and therefore can’t guess their next move.”

“Like whom?” Charter asked.

“We don’t know yet, but I will know when I meet them,” Varric replied.

“Hire whoever you want,” Ellana instructed. “Just make sure they’re not a spy and have never served in the Inquisition.” Varric nodded, understanding his instruction. Even so, he looked like he had another question. “What is it?”

“Can I ask why it’s so important for you to physically confront Solas?” Varric asked.

“Solas told me once that if I wanted to stop him, look towards the Blight,” Ellana hesitated, knowing that what she was about to share held more meaning than the words themselves. “The Blight are a result of the titans made tranquil—”

“Titans?” Harding asked.

Ellana, realizing that Harding was not among those who knew, looked at Varric to save her. “I need to talk to the Inquisitor alone.” Harding nodded and then left the room.

Once she was gone, Ellana continued. “I finally put it together that Solas may stop if I can solve the problem of the Blight.” Ellana paused, trying to determine where to begin. “During the war, Cassandra and I had a conversation about the Seekers and there being rumors of a cure to tranquility.” Charter and Varric gasped in shared shock. “She sent me a missive, announcing that it was not only rumors. She had been successful at reversing tranquility. Took ten years but she finally did it.” Ellana paused again, considering her words. “I need to have a conversation with him, and I believe he is purposely avoiding me, even in the Fade. I haven't heard from him in over a year…he needs to hear this information. Cassandra said that if he is willing to stop and listen, she would teach him.”

“What if this isn’t enough for him to stop?” Varric asked.

Instead of answering his question, Ellana called for Harding to return. “So, what did I miss?” she said as she walked back in.

“Just lamenting on what it was like to look upon the seat of the gods and see that it was empty,” Ellana half-joked. “I am sorry Harding, but what I shared with Varric must stay between Varric and I.”

“I understand Inquisitor,” she said empathetically. “I trust that you would share with me any information that may risk my safety.”

“Of course,” Ellana lied. She only intends to share with the woman information as necessary. It was up to Varric to tell her the rest. Harding did not seem to notice Ellana’s dishonesty and seemed content. 

“We need to leave for our meeting with the Dragons,” Dorian said from the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. Dorian nodded towards all in the room and Ellana nodded in response.

“We should all get going then,” Varric added.

***

The Viper was a tall man who was known to hunt slavers and instigate slave rebellions. As a Human and an altus mage, Maevaris and Dorian chose him to lead the Shadow Dragons. He wore a mask, and his eyes were intense. Ellana had asked Dorian why he hid his identity, but Dorian pretended not to know. 

This was the first time Ellana ever paid a visit to the Shadow Dragon safehouse in Dock Town. She sat with Charter, Dorian, Viper, and what she assumed was his assistant, Tarquin, around a hookah in one of the enclaves. Tarquin explained that he was an Imperial Templar who acted as a double agent, and that there were multiple Templars a part of the resistance group. The Viper explained the purpose of the Shadow Dragons, which was to act as a resistance group opposing corrupt rulers, blood magic, and slavery within Tevinter.

“We were interested in formerly working with the Inquisition to help create more reliable routes of escape out of Tevinter for our constituents,” the Viper described.

“Meaning?” Ellana asked. Both Viper and Tarquin threw a look at Dorian, who looked a bit embarrassed. Dorian had told them something he probably should not have. “What did you tell them?” she asked Dorian.

“I told them about my Eluvian,” Dorian admitted. Both Ellana and Charter gave Dorian a look of both anger and disappointment. 

Ellana shook her head. Since Merrill began working with Morrigan, Morrigan’s Eluvian network thrived. Eight years ago, they had three or four usable Eluvians. Now, they have expanded the network to at least eleven; with locations in the Hinterlands, Halamshiral, Skyhold, Dorian’s Estate, Morrigan’s home, the Veil Jumper headquarters, the Temple of Mythal, and four within the Crossroads being used as connectors to the others. Now, it seemed that the Shadow Dragons wanted one too.

“Absolutely not,” Ellana shook her head. “Do you understand how much of a security threat that would create if someone was able to compromise the network?” 

“We understand,” Viper replied. “But would it be possible to make one that connects to only one other, outside of Tevinter, it does not need to be connected to the rest.”

“It would take a very long time to make two Eluvians that only connect to each other. Then we would need to transport one here and one somewhere else?”

“We were thinking of a place in Nevarra,” he replied.

“Okay, transport one here and a random place in Nevarra,” she shrugged. “We also haven’t discussed the materials, if there are any available, and if our Eluvian experts have time. We have maybe four people who can fix Eluvians, and less who can make an Eluvian.”

“Please consider it,” Dorian pleaded. “The Shadow Dragons having an Eluvian could add so much to our cause.”

“I don’t —”

Suddenly a loud voice played in the city air. It was very loud and could be heard through the walls. They all looked towards the open balcony and heard that the noise was coming from the floating Archon palace. “Citizens of Miranthous!” the voice boomed. “Due to recent revolts and civil unrest, there had been instituted an immediate curfew for all Elvhes within the city limits. No Elvhes are permitted to leave city limits. This curfew will last from the conclusion of this message and will be in effect for the next 72 hours. All Elvhes found outside without an escort to provide proper documentation will be arrested. This concludes this message.”

I hate this place , Ellana thought to herself but said aloud, “We need to get out of Miranthous.” She looked over to Charter, who nodded in agreement.

“This would have been the perfect opportunity to use an Eluvian,” Dorian added unnecessarily. 

Ellana rolled her eyes and ignored him. “Viper, can we use one of your escape routes to get out of the city?”

“Yes, Tarquin will be able to help you,” he said motioning to the other man. “This is all unfortunate. I am sorry that your people are treated this way here.” His pity fell on deaf ears; Ellana was beyond the capacity to listen to a human whine over how Elvhes are treated in a city where humans have all power. Sure, the Shadow Dragons are doing what they can, but they are doing the minimum of what they could get away with without causing real unrest. 

The conversation ended so that they could prepare for their escape. Charter and Tarquin began comparing their information and planning the route. In the meantime, Ellana pulled Dorian to the side and said, “Why did you tell them about the Eluvian?”

“I mentioned it because it is a resource and as you can see, we have become desperate,” Dorian explained. He scanned her face and could see the anger. “Please do not be angry with me Ellana. I thought that it could be mutually beneficial.” Ellana tried to release her anger, but it would not dissipate. 

“Can Tarquin even be trusted,” she snapped in a whisper. “He is a Templar.”

“And has been very loyal,” Dorian reminded. “He is your only way out. I have no documentation for you or Charter and if you attempt to go back to my estate, you’ll be arrested. He is no mage, if I am wrong about him, kill him. Simple.”

After some time, Charter, Ellana, and Tarquin said farewell and slid into a hidden door in the back of the safehouse. This door opened into the Miranthous sewers and would be their initial exit. Unfortunately, they could not determine a route to take them back to Dorian’s estate, so they would not be able to use the Eluvian.

“The sewers connect all of Dock Town,” Tarquin assured. “We can use them to get to the catacombs. But the catacombs are dangerous, dark, and riddled with demons. Stay on guard. I can get you as far as the bridge that connects to the outer city.”

“That’s in the Military district is it not?” Charter asked, concerned.

“Well good thing I am a Templar,” he replied. 

“Wait, I just remembered,” Ellana called as they continued. “Charter, remember when Varric mentioned that Solas and some of his people left via the canal?” Ellana gave Charter a moment to acknowledge. “Tarquin, are the canals a safer route than the bridge to the outer city?”

“It can be, and the canals are in Dock Town,” he replied. “Would you rather take the canals? People might recognize you.”

“Don't worry about that,” Ellana said as she pulled on her glamour. 

“Well then I won’t,” he said looking amazed. 

The trio followed Tarquin’s route through the sewer until they reached the canals. As they traveled through  the sewers they noticed that there were plenty of scared Elvhes and even frightened humans running through the place. When they reached the sewer gate above the boats, Tarquin motioned for them to wait. He then ascended into the streets leaving them below.

“What do you think he is doing?” Ellana asked Charter.

“Inquisitor, you’re being paranoid,” Charter reassured. “I’ve worked with him for over a year now, he is a good person.” 

Ellana stood quietly, considering that there was a possibility that she was being paranoid. Ellana had also been easily frustrated and angered lately as well. She took a deep breath, at least she was still maintaining her grip on reality. She flushed, suddenly, embarrassed at her recent lack of emotional regulation, and stood with Charter in silence.

After what felt like forever, Tarquin returned. “Hey, so my guy said that he can take you. I paid the usual fare as a favor from the Dragons, and he requested that you pay him the same amount after he drops you off. For insurance and because he can get executed if caught.”

“A favor, in exchange for —?” Ellana asked

“How much is he expecting?” Charter asked over Ellana, interrupting her.

“5,000 tesserae each for both of you.”

“I guess we will have to if we want to get out of the city,” Ellana agreed. “Do we have that on us?”

“We do,” Charter answered. “Ask him, if we throw in an extra 5,000, if he will take us to Ventus.” Tarquin nodded and disappeared through the hole.

“We are meeting Maevaris?” Ellana asked. 

“I will have him tell Dorian to send word to her. She has documentation for us and should be able to get us from the city to another place,” she explained. “I know the route from the sewers to her estate, so we should be okay once we are on the boat out of here.”

After a moment, Tarquin returned. “He agreed, but he wants the money now.” The women nodded and gathered the coinage. 15,000 tesserae was a lot of money, and they had to use one of their sacks to carry it all. Once it was counted in various increments, they followed Tarquin through the sewage grate. 

The women were escorted onto the boat and hidden away. Tarquin stayed behind and handled the transaction. Before he said his goodbyes, Charter asked if he could tell Dorian to send word to Maevaris to expect their arrival. He nodded and left.

After a few hours, the boat pulled from port, and they were safely out of the city. “I think the Shadow Dragons may have earned their Eluvian today after all this,” Ellana joked from the top of the boat overlooking the Ventosus Straits. 

“How are we going to get it to them?” Charter asked, standing next to her.

“That’s Dorian’s problem, he is the one who opened his mouth,” she replied. 

Ellana and Charter returned to their assigned area below deck. They were sharing the space with two other Elvhes. Most of the boat staff were above deck and had actual quarters in another part of the ship. The two other Elvhes were young women, one who looked like they were in their late teens and the other looked a few years younger. They were beautiful and looked well dressed. Ellana had asked them what they were doing in the same predicament she was in. The oldest one explained that they were sisters and that they were slaves to a Magister who showed a preference for her. She decided to risk escaping because the Magister was starting to show interest in her younger sister and she could not fathom her sister experiencing the same horror she had. So, in the unrest, they were able to slip out and negotiate for passage by boat. 

Charter told them that the boat was headed to Ventus and asked if they knew anyone in the city. They both said no. She asked how they were paying for their transport, the oldest one looked embarrassed but told the truth. She was paying with her body. Charter and Ellana looked at each other, a private conversation between the two. Ellana pulled off her glamor revealing herself to be the Inquisitor and told them not to worry and that when they get to Ventus they will make sure they would be safe.

A few hours later, the two women found a private corner, where if they whispered, they could talk privately. Charter looked at Ellana nervously and said, “I have been wanting to ask you something, but I didn’t want to upset you. Varric asked earlier, but you didn’t get to answer.” She paused for Ellana to consent for her to continue. “Assuming you do convince Solas to listen to you, what if the stuff about reversing tranquility isn’t enough.”

“Then we have to kill him,” Ellana answered. But she then corrected, because the likelihood that they would be able to outright kill Solas would be slim. “Or at least die trying.”

“Hmm,” was all she said in reply.

“Can I share with you something he shared with me in private?” Ellana asked, which Charter nodded. “Referring to Mythal, he called himself a desperate dog and wondered if he still was. What do you think he meant by that?”

“He called himself her dog?”

“Yes.”

There was a pause, allowing her to consider the words. “Well, a dog is usually loyal to their master. Maybe he still wonders if what he is doing is him being loyal to her.”

Ellana considered those words. “You think he doesn’t want to end the world?”

“I have no idea; this is what I think those words mean.”

“I see. Thanks for allowing me to share that with you.”

“Are you doing this because you still love him?”

“I am doing this because I love you, all of you, and I don’t want to see you all dead. And I don’t want to die either, if I’m being honest,” Ellana leaned back against a crate. “This relationship ruined my entire belief system, how I viewed the world, and what is important to me.” She paused for a moment. “I used to be a random Dalish girl who could shoot lightning from her fingers. Now, I am on some personal mission to save the world because I fucked a middle-aged weirdo with a god complex and my brain won’t get over him.” Taking a few breaths, Ellana composed herself. “I need to do this because I know it’s happening. I cannot sit by knowing what is to come and doing nothing about it. That would kill me.”

Charter did not reply. After a few moments, Ellana laid her head back against the crate and closed her eyes. She fell asleep soon after. 

Chapter Text

Story Nine

Bloomingtide, 9:52 Dragon. Solas told Ellana that Skyhold was his gift to her. At the time, she blew it off as semantics, but now she understood. When the Inquisition disbanded, everyone left to continue their lives, but Solas continued to haunt the halls. The halls that were technically hers. The demon that manifested from the regrets he had regarding her, killed her allies within these walls. Skyhold had been condemned and deemed unsafe for habitation, but no more. Solas did not get to taint her home. This was hers and she had returned to reclaim it.

With all of the wars breaking out across Thedas, Ellana thought that the time of the Inquisition may have returned. If the rite was recalled, then they would need a keep, and Skyhold was already there. Thus, she, along with Charter and Morrigan set out to determine if Skyhold was actually unsafe to inhabit. When they arrived, the place was desolate. Ellana had wondered if Solas would have returned to it, but he had not. After three days of occupation, it seemed that no one other than the three of them, mortal or otherwise, were interested in the hold. 

The three of them decided that they would permanently use this space and Charter moved to recall her spies to the location. Within a week, they welcomed the arrivals, which included Tessa Forsythia and her partner, Marius. Ellana considered Tessa to be Charter's longtime companion, but Charter never confirmed or denied romantic involvement between the two. Ellana assumed it was complicated, and she understood complicated relationships. Also to arrive was Dagna, Vaea, Cole, and Sera.

Accompanied by a woman named Isabela, were Josephine’s siblings who had been smuggled out of Antiva by Isabela’s Lords of Fortune. Isabela was an old acquaintance of Varric and a former Inquisition spy. Finally, Bull and his Chargers also moved into Skyhold after having been successfully chased out of Tevinter by the Venatori. 

Ellana sent a missive to Josephine informing her that her family arrived safely. In return she received a missive, written by both Cullen and Josephine. It read:

Ellana,

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Words cannot explain the genuine appreciation and love that I feel towards you. To care enough about those I love, that you were willing to risk lives to save theirs. I sleep better knowing that my family is safe. I heard the rumors about Skyhold, and I am happy to hear that the horrors were temporary and that you were able to reclaim your stronghold.

I miss my family, but I cannot travel. I talked to a mage healer, and they do not recommend that I travel until after the child is born. They estimate that the child should come any day now, hopefully within the next month. Please inform my family.

[The handwriting suddenly changed.]

We are still willing and waiting. As I told you before, my sword is always willing to return to the call. If you are preparing for war, please let me know, for the sake of my family. There are many men here who are also willing to return for service, to serve their Inquisitor once again. Ser Commander Rylen wanted me to tell you that he is among those men.

The love you have shown us over the years can never be repaid. We love you.

- The Montilyet-Rutherfords

As expected, Ellana was in tears by the end of the letter. Ellana quickly wrote a reply, sending it by crow. It read:

Josephine and Cullen,

If the child arrives by the time you receive this missive. Congratulations!

For the offer to mobilize, we need to wait. We have not received authorization from the Chantry and feel that recruiting soldiers may instigate an issue. Officially, no one should be inhabiting Skyhold. I need to send a missive to Divine Victoria, asking for retroactive permission.

I will keep you updated. I love you both.

- Ellana

On her way down from the top of the library, Ellana paused at the bottom of the Rotunda. Since returning to Skyhold, whenever she went to the library or the crow nest, she would avoid the frescoes. But today, she felt different.

She stopped at the unfinished fresco. It seemed to be an image of a sword, stabbed into something. Next to it was a bowing beast.

Ellana remembered asking Solas about his murals. He said that they were his gift to her. He explained that he wanted to tell her story, with each panel reflecting a major choice or decision the she had to make. She wondered what choice the final mural was depicting.

The rumor was that the regret demon manifested from the last mural. Ellana wondered if there was something about her last choice that she was supposed to derive meaning from. Unfortunately, she could not figure out what it would be referring to.

The first was she closing the first breach at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. The second was forming the Inquisition. The third was siding with the mages in the war. The fourth was depicting the day Haven was destroyed. The fifth was the siege of Adamant and the sixth was the Winter Ball. Finally, the seventh was the Temple of Mythal.

Ellana stepped closer to the mural and focused on the unfinished details. For the first time, she noticed that it is a depiction of a wolf standing over the stabbed body of a dragon. And that was when she realized the dragon looked similar to the pictures of dragons from Mythal's temple.

Ellana took a step back, understanding that her suspicions were true, or maybe, if she was not overreaching. Solas did kill Flemeth, unless…Ellana was involved in all of these events in some way, it was her story. Was she the sword? She did kill dragons, but the wolf plus the dragon motif was too specific, and Solas' regret pulled itself from it.

Or, as in the second mural, the Inquisition was the sword. Ellana looked at the underbelly of the wolf, it looked like a dragon's belly, not a canine's. Maybe the dead dragon was supposed to be a depiction of Corypheus' dragon. Yes, that made more sense. Then, who or what is the beast?

Or the mural could be none of these things. But it is definitely something Solas regretted. Ellana gave herself a self-soothing hug, unable to figure out the mystery.

As she stared, completely lost in thought, Bull happened to walk by and stopped when he noticed her look of despair. "What are you thinking about, boss?" he asked, concern in his tone.

"Hmm," she uttered, not immediately processing what he asked.

"Furrows between the eyes. Moping. Lost in your own issues. You look far gone; is everything good?"

"I am just thinking about this," she answer pointing to the unfinished fresco.

"He really put all himself in these paintings, you can tell," he said looking at all the murals. "I heard that a demon came out of that one."

"Yep."

"Damn," Bull sighed, sounding like he could genuinely empathize with what Ellana was feeling. He crossed his arms and added, "You are strong, and your mind is sharp. You will solve problems others cannot."

"Sometimes, I don't believe that" she responded. "If these years taught me anything, it's that there are problems that seem unsolvable."

"At least you have the foresight to know that a war is eminent."

"A war or the end of the world. Whichever comes first."

***

Ellana sat in the former war counsel room with Varric, Harding, and a person who was introduced as Rook. "My given name is Somet de Riva," the tall Elf explained.

"de Riva? You're an Antivan Crow?" Ellana asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yes," he answered. Rook was a tall male Elf, who seemed to be in his mid-twenties. He had brown hair and brown eyes. A city Elf, who Ellana assumed grew up in Antiva.

"So, you accepted a Contract with the Crows, Varric?" Ellana asked the Dwarf, to which Varric only smiled.

Rook spoke up instead. "Crows always fulfill their contracts. We will find this Solas and I will complete my contract."

"Hmm," Ellana did not know the terms of the contract that Varric and Rook agreed to. But a part of her hopes that killing Solas was not a requirement to fulfill the terms, that finding him would be sufficient. "Tell me about yourself, Rook, start with how you met Varric."

"Well, I am an orphan from Treviso. I joined the Crows because my other option was to die on the streets," he chuckled at the last bit, as if he were trying to make his story humorous. Ellana did not think it was funny and frowned. "Anyway, I met Varric freeing prisoners from the Antaam, and the Crows exiled me from Antiva."

"They exiled you for stopping Antaam?" she asked confused.

"Well, yes and no. I compromised a larger mission," he chuckled at the end again. Ellana figured that it must be a nervous tick.

"You can relax," she offered. "I won't bite." Ellana smiled at the end of her sentence. The young man relaxed a bit but still seemed uneasy.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Your reputation proceeds you, and I want to make a good impression."

"The kid is amazing," Varric encouraged. "He fought off Antaam twenty-to-one." Ellana nodded impressed. "The Crows are good at tracking people down. I think that Rook would make an excellent addition to the team."

"I trust your judgment Varric," she replied.

The trio left for Tevinter that evening via Eluvian. Ellana hoped that Varric could trust Rook and that Rook would follow through. He seemed young and a bit silly, but not inexperienced. She wondered if that was how she presented when she took the mantle of Inquisitor, ten years ago.

***

Justinian, 9:52 Dragon. Morrigan had appointed two Elvhes named Irelin and Strife as the leaders of the Veil Jumpers. They were both of Dalish descent and Irelin was from one of the local Dalish tribes. When Ellana first introduced themselves to them, it warmed her heart because they both acknowledged that they knew of her heritage and gave their sympathies for Clan Lavellan. It had been an exceedingly long time since anyone acknowledged Ellana's identity or the loss of her clan.

The Veil Jumpers had been tasked with stabilizing and maintaining magical disturbances throughout Arlathan Forest. Periodically, Ellana liked to check in with them to determine what artifacts were more active than others, hoping it would give them a clue as to Solas' location within Thedas. Recently, the entire forest had become more active, leading Ellana to believe that Solas was in Arlathan. However, Varric maintained his belief that Solas was in Tevinter and continued to find evidence supporting that. Thus, the two decided that they would make two separate teams to look in two separate directions for the Dread Wolf.

"Our Jumpers are working to rebuild a fallen bridge that will allow us to move deeper into Arlathan," Strife told Ellana as she, him, Irelin, and Morrigan sat around a fire in the main camp.

"We have also sent Merrill and, one of our best, Bellara, deeper into the forest to determine if they is an unusually unstable artifact that could help us pinpoint the location of our Dread Wolf," Irelin added.

"I am sorry, I am unfamiliar with Bellara," Ellana informed the group.

"She is the one we told you about who can fix Eluvians," Strife explained. "You haven't seen much of her because she recently lost her brother. But she is back and ready to help."

Morrigan sat silently and listened, she seemed more in her head recently. "How are the two ladies that Charter and I brought?" she asked.

"Isena and Mihlle? They fit in well and have been eager to help out," Strife answered. "They are most grateful for the second chance you have given them."

"Good to hear," Ellana offered.

After a few more minutes of talking the group disbanded, leaving Ellana and Morrigan alone. Morrigan turned to Ellana and asked, "How are things at Skyhold?"

"Good," Ellana answered. "I sent a letter to the Chantry, and Divine Victoria now knows we are using the keep. She has not sent a reply as far as I know."

"It seems that things are starting to come to a climax," Morrigan observed. "Are you ready to face the end?"

"It does not necessarily need to be the end, if you were more willing to give me the entirety of the truth," Ellana reminded. Lately, Morrigan had been acting like Solas, telling half-truths and not sharing all the information. Ellana understood that having Mythal's memories was a heavy burden for Morrigan, but Morrigan insisted that she keep some of Mythal's life private. Including details about Mythal's use of Vallaslin on Solas and the details of the relationship.

The way she acted caused Ellana to start not trusting Morrigan as much as she used to. Well, that was not the truth. She trusted Morrigan fine, she did not trust Mythal.

Ellana did not tell Morrigan all that Solas told her their final time together, only the parts that confused her. But she did tell the woman that the two of them had been intimate, to see how she would react. Morrigan informed her that that detail angered Mythal, and consequently, Morrigan had begun keeping things from Ellana ever since.

"I am aware," the woman answered. "You should get some rest, Inquisitor. You never know what tomorrow will bring." Morrigan stood, nodded her goodbye, and retreated into her tent.

Ellana retreated into a tent as well. Irelin told her to borrow Merrill's tent, since it was only for the evening. Inside, Ellana changed her clothes and pulled out her journal from her pack. The air inside the tent changed for a moment, the Veil suddenly feeling very thin. From the corner of her eye, she saw something move. She turned towards it, but nothing was there except for a torn piece of paper. It was severely damaged and seemed to materialize from nowhere. Carefully opening it, Ellana read:

[A private journal entry handwritten in penmanship unknown to Ellana.]

This place used to be full of spirits who flocked to Solas' cause. When his ritual went wrong—when everything went wrong—he vanished, and the spirits stopped coming.

Where are you, my friend? You stopped the Evanuris but broke the world. Please tell me you didn't leave me to fix all this alone.

-Felassan

Ellana reread the note in confusion, “Who is Felassan?" Felassan…slow arrow. The name did not ring any bells for Ellana.

She rose from her spot and left the tent, ignoring that she was not dressed. Walking to Morrigan's tent, Ellana hoped that the woman would be willing to be open with her. She hesitated at the entrance and quietly called out her name.

"Come inside," she heard Morrigan from the other side of the tent flap. Walking inside, she saw that Morrigan had changed into a night robe and was sitting in a meditative position.

"I need your guidance," Ellana pleaded. "I found this note in the tent and I was hoping you knew who it was referring to." She handed the note to Morrigan, who read it over carefully.

"Felassan," Morrigan said. "Slow arrow. Mythal is not too familiar with the name."

"What does she know?"

"She wants to know why I should tell you."

"Are you joking?"

"No," Morrigan answered, without any humor to her voice. "I would rather not have to sleep through a headache this evening. So please."

"Is this because of what I said before?"

"Possibly," she shrugged. "Mythal was not pleased with the way you presented the information."

"Should I grovel before you and ask for her forgiveness?"

"I can feel the headache forming, Inquisitor," she said, frowning.

"Fine," Ellana acquiesced. "I just want to know if this Felassan can be of help. If he can be used to help someone who we both love…please."

Morrigan watched Ellana. She seemed pleased, so she said, "A general in the Dread Wolf's rebellion. Felassan wore Mythal's Vallaslin. She did not know much else of value about him."

"He wore her Vallaslin, but she did not know who he was? How expected," Ellana shook her head. "Thank you Morrigan. Goodnight." Ellana left the tent and reentered her own.

Sitting down on her bedroll, Ellana felt the familiar disappointment that she had felt periodically throughout the years. She remembered how during the war she prayed consistently, praying for herself and others. She was very faithful to the Evanuris, but things began to shift when they first explored the Temple of Mythal.

Then, when she found out that she was engaging in intimacies with one of the Creators, her entire perceptive shifted. Throughout their relationship, Solas did tell her that he did not believe the Evanuris to be divine. At the time, she reasoned that he was just a non-Dalish Elf who lost his faith. But now, the knowledge that he did not believe because he knew them personally was slightly overwhelming.

That paired with her experiences with Mythal, someone she believed to be a protector and a mother, had completely turned her away from her faith. Ellana remembered praying to Falon'Din for safe travel for both the spirits of her clan and her child. She wondered if those prayers were heard, or if Falon'Din was even alive. If she prayed to Mythal, who would hear it? Morrigan? And if so, what could Morrigan do to help her?

She wondered how many Dalish continue to pray to false gods. She wondered if it would do any good to tell the Dalish in this camp about her knowledge. Solas had tried, and he was run out of camps, violently. Ellana wondered if they would do the same to her.

Falling back against the bedroll, Ellana stared at the top of the tent. The name Felassan played through her mind, over and over. She wanted to know more about this person and why the Fade brought that note to her. But, those answers did not appear to her, as she fell asleep soon after.

Chapter Text

Story Ten

Wintermarch, 9:53 Dragon. There were plenty of other things that Ellana would have been doing with her time. Among them was the act of honoring her lost child, for tonight marked the anniversary. But instead, she was meeting with Varric, Harding, Rook, Morrigan, and Charter in the Eluvian room at Skyhold.

Solas could have picked any other night to end the world, but he picked this evening. The coincidence was not amiss to Ellana, and she suspected that he picked the day purposely. Thus, making it personal.

That morning, Dorian called Ellana via sending stone to inform her that Miranthous was swimming in turmoil. "There are demons falling from the sky!" he yelled through the crystal. The Archon's palace responded with ruthless precision, executing anyone without hesitation or anything seen as a threat to Tevinter.

Fortunately, Varric's team was already at Skyhold restocking their supplies and planning to head to Miranthous. The team needed to meet with a contact who supposedly knew where Solas' ritual was taking place. And with Arlathan Forest collapsing in on itself, Ellana and her team were already preparing to assist the Veil Jumpers. The rest of Skyhold's inhabitants prepared to hold the fort in case something horrible happened and they needed agents activated.

"Well, this is exciting!" Rook said as the group congregated in the small room. The large Eluvian towered over them, reflecting the other side. "If you ignore the eminent doom." He chuckled at the comment. Ellana nodded towards him, acknowledging his attempt at making a joke. Ellana thought Rook had a nice smile, maybe that was why he chose humor so often. Ellana was not the joking type, at least not recently. She remembered that she was when she was younger and wondered if her younger self could handle what she was going through now.

Wanting to see if she could find that part of herself in her last moments, she responded, "I think that's how all of my most cherished memories began."

Unfortunately, the humor did not land, and Rook responded, "During eminent doom?"

"Unfortunately," she chuckled.

The others began to gather around the two of them. "Well, this is the end," Varric joked. "Any last words?"

"You don't have to act like we are all going to die," Charter rolled her eyes.

Varric chuckled and so did everyone else. This night was a long time coming, and if they were going to die, they would at least be in a good mood. "So, this is it," Ellana started. "I wanted to thank you all for your service over the last decade. Without you all, none of this would be possible." She paused for a moment. "If it comes to it, do what you must. Good luck to whoever finds him first." Everyone nodded.

The five of them turned to gather their belongings. Ellana turned to Varric, "Varric, can I speak with you?" He nodded. "I want to thank you for leaving your life behind and leading this team. Thank you for all the resources you've provided too. But, I wanted to ask, why did you agree to help?"

"Simple," Varric answered. "I lost my closest friend to the despair of losing themselves in a mage who thought he knew better than everyone else. I don't want it to happen twice."

Ellana smiled and hugged the dwarf. "Thank you Varric, but I don't think I will end up the same."

"We are ready to go," Rook announced from behind them.

Ellana took one last look at Varric. They smiled at one another. Varric patted her arm and said, "Good luck, Sunbeam."

She felt a pang in her heart, feeling like something horrible was going to happen. Ellana did not know if it was about herself, Solas, or one of her companions. But she hoped that everyone survived the night, and she hoped that Solas could be convinced to stop. That was assuming that they would be able to find him in time.

The six of them stepped through the Eluvian and into the Crossroads. Varric's group stepped through the Eluvian that connected to Dorian's estate. Ellana's group stepped through the Eluvian leading to Arlathan Forest.

"The beginning of the end," Charter announced dryly as they passed through to the other side of the Eluvian. Suddenly, a wraith landed in front of them. It turned towards the women and screeched. Morrigan used her magic to envelope the wraith in frost, freezing it in place. Ellana then projected a wave of force, causing the frozen wraith to explode.

The noise gathered the attention of someone in the area. "Inquisitor!" Irelin yelled, running towards the trio. "Look!" Irelin pointed through the forest towards the sky. Looking up, Ellana saw that the sky was falling apart. She could see rips in reality all around and entities were falling from the tears. The forest was loud, very loud, and Ellana had to strain in order to hear the woman. "Spirits and demons are pouring from the sky, we are doing all we can."

"Have you found him?" Ellana yelled, following Irelin through the crowd.

"We have," she answered. "But we can't access the area. The wards are too powerful, we are trying our best to get through but there seems to be only one way into the physical area, and it is not in Arlathan forest."

"Could be in Miranthous," Charter yelled from behind. "Hopefully Varric is able to get through with the help of his contact."

"Hopefully," Ellana nodded. "How are the Jumpers holding up?"

"Strife is leading the charge," Irelin responded. "We've had some fatalities, but we can try to pave you a way through to the ritual site."

"You don't have to pave it for me, I can help," Ellana reassured, reaching into her pocket. She did not know why, but something in her mind told her that she should. In her pocket, she felt something there. Something she was certain she did not add herself. "What is-?"

Ellana pulled out a piece of paper. Opening it, she realized that it was an unsent letter. Assumed to be written in a private moment, in handwriting familiar to her. At the sight of it, she knew she was never meant to read it. She read:

Vhenan, I do not know if you will see these words. My ritual is ready and will soon be set in motion. Perhaps when you read this the world will be as it once was, and you will see why all I did was necessary. I cannot ask your forgiveness, but I hope you come to understand.

That night in Crestwood, when I shared the truth about your Vallaslin...you do not know how close I came to breaking. I could have shared the truth or even put my plans aside and simply stayed with you as Solas... as I wanted. Then again, during that year we were with each other repeatedly. Every time I could have stayed, and I wanted to, but I could not. I should have been honest with you then, but the shame of lying was too much for me to bear. And then you learned it all on your own and I was embarrassed. So embarrassed that I was willing to risk never seeing you again.

But, then I saw you in the Lighthouse, and I thought I was dreaming or that the Fade was playing a cruel joke on me. Yet, there you were and for the first time in my physical existence, I told the entirety of the truth. I told you that I wanted you to stay, but I knew you would require me to change. And I could not. I cannot.

I regret the pain I caused you.

What I feel for you will never change.

[The note was unsigned, but the handwriting was Solas'.]

Ellana almost stopped breathing. The world became foggy, and she felt like she was going to lose control. Her vision slightly blurred, and her chest tightened. She felt scared and like her body was no longer her own. She wanted to vomit. Ellana had not felt this way in almost a decade. All the emotions: fear, anticipation, excitement, and…love?

"Inquisitor are you okay?" Charter breathed, leaning in close to Ellana's ear. Charter grabbed her, helping to ground her in reality. "What is that?" she asked, pointing to the letter.

"It's nothing," she answered, earning an unconvinced look from the other woman. "It doesn't change anything. Let's press forward." Ellana may have at one point let these emotions stagger her, but not now, not tonight. Taking a deep breath and ignoring the pounding in her chest, Ellana pushed forward.

End of Part Three

End of Book One