Chapter Text
>Be me
>WAKE UP
>in a pod in some fucked up ass ship
>I think I'm a droid of some kind
>The female kind
>A Gynoid
>NO DICK
>NO BALLS
>Still have a butthole
>Pussy isn't confirmed cannon tho
>Look around, find a burned picture of a white bitch
>Super white, like even the hair
>Filled with the inexplicable urge to find her
>fake: women can't even drive why would you ever let them fly spaceships?
>gay: half the picture is missing, half a picture that could contain another woman
>Go to the airlock
>There's a space suit missing
>WOMAN! WHERE IS MY SPACE SUIT!?!
>Oh there's two
>SPACE SUIT! WHERE IS MY WOMAN!?!
>I put that shit ON
>Embark into the freezing cold
>take a look around
>limp bizkit is NOT fucking up their town
>wander among random ass columns
>approach a minecraft ahh gate
>find myself standing on top of a perfectly cylindrical red hole with no snow in it
>glad to see SOMETHING is fucking normal around here, Christ
>walk down the convenient staircase
>find another, smaller, tighter hole
>hee hee
>hole
>crawl through the hole
>find myself in some random bedroom
>mattress on the floor, a safe with a bunch of locks on it (filled with yaoi I'm sure) a radio and some banned books
>man, is this what being a NEET in a communist country is like? I bet the old ass computer they've got in here doesn't even get porn
>old ahh book lying on the desk
>'the king in yellow'
>maybe he'll prove to be a mellow fellow
>open it
>radio and computer turns on
>ACHTUNG
>ACHTUNG
>hear random numbers
>see a radio station in the distance
>cue dramatic piano music
>see visions of my face melting
>GREAT HOLES ARE DIGGED WHERE EARTHS PORES OUGHT TO SUFFICE
>AND THINGS HAVE LEARNED TO WALK THAT OUGHT TO CRAWL
>see some emo bitch bout to cut herself
>REMEMBER OUR PROMISE
>see blood on the floor
>white bitch from the picture jump scares me
>WAKE UP
>error screen
>a mellow fellow he was not