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It had only been a few months since Gabe had died and Diana was struggling to cope. She had initially quit her job to take care of the baby, planning to return to work once he was old enough to join a daycare. But of course that had never happened, and she never went back to work.

Most days she sat in Gabe’s nursery and cried, clutching his toys and playing the music box. Dan grew concerned with her increasingly erratic behaviour, and eventually persuaded her to try therapy. 

Soon Diana was diagnosed bipolar, and started on medication. Initially things appeared to improve; she became cheerful, as excited as she was when the baby was born, but when she began to insist that Gabe was still alive, smiling and cooing at an invisible infant, it was too much for Dan to take. Consumed by his own grief, he left Diana, hoping that her delusions would improve with time, but unable to deal with them himself.

A few months later, Diana realised that she was pregnant. She didn’t call Dan, instead smiling down at her empty arms and saying “You’re going to be a big brother.”

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Diana moved back to her parents house when she gave birth to Natalie. Telling them it was just until she found her feet, and that "she couldn’t cope with two babies all on her own."  

Her parents worried. They often found themselves responsible for Natalie while Diana ran around, chasing an imaginary toddler. They insisted that if she stayed she would have to return to therapy. Diana agreed at first, though she worried about leaving Gabe home alone for long periods of time. 

The psychiatrist gave her a new set of medication, and told her parents to be firm. When Diana started talking about Gabe again, her parents insisted that it was just her delusions, they refused to pretend that Gabe was there for her sake and demanded that she care for Natalie alone.

Diana grew more and more distressed, she sobbed and hugged her ghost child begging with her parents “How could you treat your grandson this way?”  

Eventually she couldn’t take it anymore; she walked out of her psychiatrist’s office, packed up her things and moved out. When she picked up baby Natalie she whispered to her “I couldn’t split you two up. You, me and your brother will be happy together, the perfect loving family.”

Chapter Text

As Natalie grew from a baby, it took a while for her to understand that something was wrong. Children base “normal” off what they know, and as she was first coming to understand the world, all her focus stayed on her mother. It didn’t matter at first that her mother would talk to nobody, after all, she was just trying to learn how to talk for herself. 

When Natalie’s babbling turned into words, Diana was delighted; she praised her for saying “Mama” , but encouraged her more to say other words.

“Can you say Gabe, Natalie? Go on, try. Can you say Gabriel? How about brother? Talk to your brother Nat, say brother.” Natalie had heard these words many times before, so “Gabe” ended up being her second word, followed shortly by “Bubba”. She struggled to connect these words to any real meaning, but that didn’t matter, not when her mother beamed whenever she said them.

Soon Natalie was pulling herself up on the furniture and attempting to walk. Diana cheered when she took her first unassisted steps, straight into her mother’s arms. But then she turned Natalie around so she was facing an empty spot of floor.

“Walk to Gabe now Natalie! Walk to your brother.” 

“Bubba?” Natalie saw nothing in front of her, she didn’t want to walk, there was nothing to hold on to. 

“Go on.” Diana spoke more insistently. “Walk to your brother, he’ll catch you.” She gave her a shove, and Natalie stumbled forward, arms out. For a moment she almost believed that somebody would be there to catch her, but nobody did, she fell to the floor and cried. Diana picked her back up. "O h dear, you didn’t quite make it. Don’t cry, we’ll try again.”

Natalie soon learnt to walk without falling, knowing that nobody would catch her if she did.

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By the time she was five, Natalie understood that she had no father, she had a mother who seemed to love her brother a lot more than her, and that her brother was invisible. 

For a while, whenever her mother would speak to “Gabe”, she would try to make her stop. 

“There’s no one there mommy.” 

Diana would get very upset. “Don’t treat your brother that way.” She was so insistent about it that Natalie ultimately concluded that her mysterious brother was simply invisible, and she shouldn’t mention it to her mother anymore.

They celebrated Gabe’s sixth birthday, and when Natalie tried to play with the new toys, her mother strictly told her not to take her brother’s things. When she eventually relented enough to tell Gabe to share with his baby sister, Natalie wondered how she could know if he was sharing if she couldn’t see or hear him. 

Diana would often play with Gabe, but rarely with Natalie.  Sometimes she would leave Natalie alone, telling Gabe to play nice with her. Natalie sat in an empty room, staring into space, as if expecting that the elusive Gabriel might materialise; she even tried speaking out loud once or twice, with a vague hope that if she just believed in Gabe, like her mother did, he would appear, and talk to her, and play with her. But nobody was there, so she just sat in the eerie silence, only ever speaking to Gabe when her mother prompted it.

Starting school was the first time Natalie had been around other children for an extended period. People talked and smiled and played with her, and with each other, no one stared blankly into the distance, or talked to people who weren’t there.

She wasn’t very talkative herself, used to being alone or ignored. The teachers tried to coax her into socialising. After many questions one of them asked her “Do you have any siblings Natalie?” 

That was a question she felt confident in. So she told them “I have a brother, his name is Gabe, he’s two years older than me, and he’s invisible.”

‘The teacher laughed cheerfully, “Invisible? Does your brother have superpowers?”

“No, he’s just invisible.” 

“Oh I see, is he a special, imaginary friend that only you can see?” The teacher didn’t get it. Gabe wasn’t Natalie’s friend, he was her mother’s, only she could see him, Natalie couldn’t. She shook her head.

“Gabe’s real.” That she knew for sure. The teacher just smiled.

“Of course he’s real.”

Natalie enjoyed school. She liked to learn, she especially liked music class, but most of all she liked spending hours away from her mother’s mood swings and her invisible brother. 

She started to talk more, though people still saw her as shy, and she often preferred to play alone. 

One day the teacher told the class that they were going to make family portraits. Natalie drew herself first, carefully colouring inside the lines; then she drew her mother, hesitating before giving her a large happy smile, she thought about the days her mom would smile so much it looked like it hurt. Then Natalie paused, she didn’t know if she should draw her brother, he was invisible, she didn’t know what he looked like. She looked around at her classmates, everyone else seemed to be drawing a mom and a dad, and siblings too. She felt sad looking at her drawing; it had to be her whole family. She drew Gabe slightly taller than her, she gave him curly hair the same colour as her own, she drew him in between her and her mom.

When the teacher came round to look at the drawings she stopped at Natalie and asked her “Who’s this?” Pointing at Gabe.

“My brother.”

“Oh, you mean your invisible brother?” Natalie nodded. She wrote the names under her portrait as she had been instructed. “Mommy”, “Gabriel” and “Natalie”.

At the parent-teacher conference, Diana was pleased to hear that her daughter was doing well. She interrupted the teacher excitedly, exclaiming “I knew she would be a star, just like her brother, he’s top of the class you know, and very popular with the other kids.”

The teacher seemed somewhat taken aback. “Oh, I didn’t know you also had a son.” 

Diana laughed. “Of course I do! Nat, didn’t you mention Gabriel to your teacher.” Her voice was somewhat accusing. 

“Oh Gabriel, yes she’s told me all about him, but she said he was invisible, I admit I thought he was just an imaginary friend.” The teacher laughed awkwardly.

Diana’s face dropped. “He is real.” Her voice was dark and the teacher looked alarmed.

“Of course. I just thought…”

“Natalie! How could you tell your teacher that your brother isn’t real!” People turned to stare at the scene Diana had started making. 

The teacher went to jump in, but Natalie was faster, more experienced.

“I didn’t mean it! I was just saying that because…” her mother never liked Natalie to mention the fact that she was unable to see her brother like her mother could. She thought about what her teacher had said. “Because he‘s special, he has superpowers!” She exclaimed. 

This seemed to be the right thing to say. Diana cooled her expression and turned back to the teacher, “As you can see, my daughter loves her brother very much.” 

From that day on, kids would whisper behind Natalie’s back, talking about her crazy mom. It only got worse after more parent events, it seemed like one could never pass without some sort of incident. 

Her teacher would still ask her about her family, one day she dared to wonder why Gabe had never been seen at the school. Natalie simply answered that “He’s invisible.” The teacher stopped asking after that, and soon the year was over, she started in a new class, but the whispers didn’t stop.

Chapter Text

Since the whole parent-teacher conference debacle, Natalie had realised that bringing anyone from school into her home life would be a bad idea. 

A few kids were nice enough to invite her to parties or playdates, and when she was there she understood more and more that her family was not normal. Other parents played with their children, they smiled and talked to them. Other houses weren’t covered in random nick nacks and trash until a parent had a manic cleaning spree where everything became spotless in an instant, then slowly regressed over the next few weeks. And other siblings talked and teased, they were visible.

The only person at school who didn’t seem to think she was a freak was a boy called Henry. He still invited her to play, even when she never invited him back. 

One day, both Henry and Natalie had been at a birthday party, everyone else had already been picked up when Henry’s mom came running in late. 

“Sorry I’m late sweetie.” She kissed Henry’s forehead and apologised to the parents. Then she saw Natalie waiting alone. “Is your mom not here yet?” She asked. Natalie shook her head and the parents explained that they had called Diana but she wasn’t picking up. Henry’s mom kneeled down and asked “Do you know your address?” Natalie nodded. “Then I’ll take you home myself, it’s no trouble.”

When they pulled up to the house, Natalie rushed to open the door herself; she’d had a key for over a year now, often making her own way home. But Henry’s mom called out to her. “Hang on Nat, I want to check that your mom’s inside and everything’s okay.” 

“Thank you very much but I’m sure it’s fine,” Natalie gabbled. “It probably just slipped her mind.” 

“Yes, but I can’t just drop you on the doorstep.” So Natalie reluctantly opened the door, letting Henry and his mom inside the house.

It was dark inside, all the lights were off. This wasn’t that unusual, but for the sake of her guests, Natalie flicked one of the switches and called out, “Mom! Where are you?” There was no response, but when they reached the kitchen they saw Diana, sprawled face down on the floor. 

Henry’s mom gasped, and rushed forwards, shaking Diana’s shoulders. “Ms Goodman! Are you alright?” Diana mumbled groggily, and rolled over. Henry’s mom turned back to the children and shooed at them “Henry, take Natalie to the other room, I’ll take care of this.” Natalie wasn’t at all pleased with leaving her mom with a practical stranger, but Diana also made a vague shooing motion, groaning; so she reluctantly took Henry’s hand, and they went to Natalie’s room.

They sat awkwardly on her bed, Natalie was used to long hours of silence, but barely a minute passed before Henry was asking “What’s wrong with your mom?” He wasn’t accusatory, just concerned, but Natalie grew agitated at the question she’d heard far too often.

“Nothing. Really, she just gets tired sometimes, and has to lie in the dark and quiet for a while. She’ll be fine in a few days.” There were another few moments of silence before Henry started again. 

“Is that why you never invite people to your house?” He was perceptive. Natalie sighed.

“Yeah. I mean she just gets really anxious, she wouldn’t be able to deal with more kids in the house.” This was somewhat true, Diana was mostly anxious over Gabe, though she did have occasional fits of panic over Natalie eating “unhealthy food”, or not washing her hands enough. 

“So you’ve never had a proper birthday party?” This only frustrated Natalie more, she didn’t get the obsession over parties that other kids her age seemed to have; birthdays were a particularly sore subject, since Diana didn’t always remember Natalie’s if she was having one of her “moods”, but she always remembered Gabe’s.

“I don’t need a bunch of kids who aren’t even my friends to be there for it to be a birthday. I just have me and my mom and…” she paused, she didn’t want to mention Gabriel to Henry, he was another part of her home life that she tried desperately to keep away from her school life. “...and that’s all I need.” She finished, feeling guilty. She didn’t know where her brother was right now, since Diana hadn’t given any indication, maybe he was even listening to her right now. She shivered. 

“Okay.” Henry spoke softly. “But am I your friend Natalie?” She turned to look at him, and nodded. He smiled. “Tell me when your birthday is and I’ll get you a present, okay. There doesn’t need to be a party, but friends get each other presents.”

Natalie smiled, happily. "Actually, it's only a few days from now."

Eventually Henry’s mom called them down. Natalie knew all along there was nothing really wrong with her mom, just a depressive episode, but she was still a little relieved to see her sitting up and drinking tea.

Henry’s mom sent him to wait in the car, and he waved to Natalie as he left. She turned to Natalie and spoke to her gently. 

“Listen Natalie, your mom is alright now, but I’m worried about you two. It’s not safe for you to be alone here when she’s not in a fit state.” Natalie was aghast, she had never thought of her mom as unfit to take care of her, but Henry’s mom thought so, what would she do? Might she call CPS on them, would Natalie be taken? “It’s alright Natalie.” She continued, “I’ve spoken to your mom, and she agreed she needs some help. She’s called your grandparents, and they’ll be here soon to help you both.”

Chapter Text

Natalie couldn’t remember ever meeting her grandparents, Diana barely spoke of them, just like she barely spoke of Dan. She tried to ask her mother about them, but Diana just turned away, softly muttering to her son. 

So Natalie waited, and the next day, a middle-aged couple arrived at the house. The woman looked just like Diana, she rushed forward to hug Natalie, exclaiming “Natalie, baby! It’s been so long!” 

“Grandma?” Natalie was tense in the stranger's arms.

“Of course it’s me sweetie!”

The man walked into the house, peering around, concerned. “Where’s Diana, Natalie?”

At that moment, Diana appeared, smiling placidly at her parents. “Mom, dad, you really didn’t have to come; we’re all fine here, honestly. It was just that interfering woman, she said…”

“Oh, don’t be so silly Di!” Diana’s mother moved to hug her now. “Of course we’re here to help, I don’t know why we stayed away for so long!” 

“I do.” Her father muttered, then raised his voice. “We’re just coming to stay for a few days or so, to make sure you’re doing alright, and to get to know our granddaughter.”

Diana’s smile grew tense. “Family is important.” Her voice was almost a whisper. “I would like it if you acknowledged my children.

It was strange having two extra people in the house. Natalie’s grandma was a lot like her mom, and her grandpa was quite reserved. They fussed over Diana and Natalie in turn, the house had never been so full or lively.

“So Natalie, it’s your birthday tomorrow, right?” Natalie was surprised at her grandma’s question, she hadn’t realised she knew, and hadn’t expected Diana to remember.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Are you going to have a party?” 

“No.” 

“What? Oh dear that won’t do. Well even if you haven’t invited any friends over, we’ll have a nice dinner as a family, okay?” Natalie was pleased at that, for once she felt she might really enjoy her birthday, if her whole family was there; she had started to quite like her grandparents. 

Early on her birthday morning, Natalie woke to find her grandparents already up and waiting for her. On the breakfast table, she saw a pile of presents. Natalie jumped and squealed in delight, for once overtaken by childish joy. She hugged her grandparents and eagerly ate her breakfast.

Diana came into the room, staring. “What’s all this?” She asked, dazed.

“It’s for Natalie’s birthday, of course.” Her mother replied. 

“Oh.” Diana stared blankly.

“I’m ten now mom.” Natalie remembered Gabe’s tenth birthday, Diana got him a special remote-control car. That was one toy Natalie had never been allowed to touch.

But Diana wasn’t looking at Natalie, she was glaring at her parents.

“After all these years you finally decide to show up.”

“Now Diana,” her father interjected, “We’re sorry we haven’t been around, really we are. But now-”

“You never did this for Gabe!” She shouted. Natalie shrunk, of course it was still all about him. But the adults fell silent, they simply stared at each other, Natalie looked between them, trying to figure it out.

“Gabe never had a birthday.” Her grandmother started softly. “Of course we would have done this for him, but he-”

“Gabriel is right here! How dare you still speak about him like he’s…like he’s not…” She trailed off, and Natalie jumped in. 

“It’s okay grandma, grandpa. I can share my toys with Gabe, I do it all the time.” Now they stared at her. They looked horrified, and Natalie squirmed, not knowing what she had done wrong. 

“Natalie, you don’t-” 

“I’ll deal with this.” Her grandfather took charge, he turned to his wife, “You calm Diana down, I’ll talk to Natalie.” He ushered her out of the room.

“I’m sorry about mom, she doesn’t mean it, she just gets upset sometimes.”

“I know Natalie. But I need to ask you, what do you know about Gabe?” Natalie hesitated, it had been a long time since someone asked her a question like that.

“He’s my brother.” She settled on.

“Yes, but you know…he’s not…here, right?”

“I know, I mean, I think so.” Her grandfather looked pained.

“But you can’t see him right?” He sounded desperate.

“No, of course not.” He looked relieved, Natalie was confused. “I can’t because he’s…invisible…” It had been so long since she’s talked about Gabe to anyone else, saying it aloud now, she realised how ridiculous it sounded. Did she really believe that, how could it be true? Indeed her grandfather looked confused and concerned at the statement.

“Natalie…Gabriel died when he was a baby.”

Chapter Text

“He died? But how? Why? I don’t understand.” Natalie felt like the world was spinning around her, her grandfather looked pained.

“He was only eight months old, he died of an intestinal obstruction. It was…very  sudden. Your mother wasn’t…well she wasn’t able to cope. She had these delusions, believing Gabe was still alive. I had no idea it was still happening.” He covered his face in dismay.

“But I… I thought that…” Natalie was at a loss, her whole life seemed to rush past, they thought her mother was the crazy one, but now Natalie felt like she was going crazy. 

As much as Natalie had resented Gabe over the years, she felt a bizarre sense of loss. She’s never actually had a brother, but now it felt like he had died all over again.

“We’ll take Diana back to the doctor, then you’ll have to come stay with us, at least for a little while, I’m sure we can arrange something.” He was almost talking to himself, but Natalie raised her voice over him.

“I’m not going anywhere! Mom and I will be fine, we always have.” She couldn’t bear to lose her whole family in one day. Without waiting for a response she ran out of the room, heading for the kitchen, even as her grandpa called after her.

Diana and her mother were arguing heatedly. 

“You have to go back to a psychiatrist, Diana! This has gone on too long!”

“No no no!” Diana was in tears. “I’m not going back! There’s nothing wrong with me, we’re happy here!” Natalie burst into the room and into her mother’s arms. 

“I’m not leaving!” She proclaimed. “I’ll look after mom, we don’t need you.” Her grandma was taken aback. 

“Sweetie, your mother’s not well, we can’t leave it like this, not again. It’s not right to leave you here.” Now Natalie was crying too, she knew she wouldn’t win this fight. Her mother stood limply, not hugging her back. Natalie had to be the one to fix things.

“Mom.” She tugged at Diana. “You have to go to the doctor.” Diana shook her head, tears dripping from her chin. “Please, if you don’t then I…” She paused, and looked back at her grandparents. “ Gabe and I. We’ll be taken away from you.”

They stood for a long time, with only the sound of sobbing. Diana finally looked down at her daughter. “Okay.”

Chapter Text

It was hard to say if things got better when Diana started getting treatment again.

Some part of Natalie would always miss her childhood innocence, but even more of her hoped, every single day, that her mother would get better some day. 

Her grandparents traveled to see them more often now. They were nice, although Natalie got the feeling they were more interested in making sure Diana was still attending her appointments than they were in checking up on their granddaughter. 

When they were in the house, nobody would acknowledge Gabe apart from Diana, and she would be reprimanded for it. 

Natalie would never admit it to her grandparents, but when she and Diana were alone, she wouldn’t try to deny Gabe’s existence. Some part of her couldn’t help feeling he was still real.

Either way, Diana would mention him less, at least to Natalie. Sometimes she went days or even weeks without bringing him up. Gabe’s thirteenth birthday was the first one Diana missed. Natalie had remembered, but she didn’t say a word, in awe of her mother’s apathy. 

The next day, Diana spent on the floor in tears, apologising to Gabriel. 

Natalie confided all of this to Henry, who was easily her closest friend. He was never judgemental, sympathising with everything she said, for her mother or against her.

So this went on. Diana had to switch psychopharmacologists multiple times, but Natalie always managed to convince her to go back. Although her moods were more stable at times, and although she talked to Gabe less, Diana never showed Natalie additional love or care.

Natalie threw herself into her music. Her music teacher had told her about the scholarships she could pursue if she took it seriously enough, and Natalie had made many plans. 

The only thing she cared about more than music was Henry. Now they were older, they could hang out most nights after school, walking around town, or just sitting in the park talking. 

On Henry’s fourteenth birthday, they snuck out late together. Henry took her to a new part of town, and showed her the joint he had procured. They giggled together, delighted to be breaking the rules. It was almost midnight when they decided to head home; Henry walked Natalie to her house, hand in hand.

“Should I come inside with you? Make sure everything’s okay. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble.” Natalie shook her head. They both remembered that day three years ago, the first and only time that Henry had entered her home. 

“You need to get home yourself, I’m sure my mom is asleep.”

“Well okay then.” He hesitated a moment, then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight, Nat.”

 He rushed away in a flurry, leaving Natalie flustered.

Natalie opened the door and froze at the sight of her mother. Diana was sitting on a chair, staring at the ceiling. 

She glanced over at the open door. She looked right through Natalie, as though she was the ghost. “There you are Gabe.” Natalie gulped.

“Mom.”

“Oh, and Natalie. Where have you two been, Gabe, I was worried sick.” Natalie clenched her fists in frustration. Most parents would have been worried if their child had been missing all evening, or at least angry. Natalie wouldn’t have minded her mom being angry at her, but all she cared about was her stupid brother.

She took a deep breath and tried to ignore it. “Did you remember to take your medication mom? I know I wasn’t here to remind you at dinner.”

Diana turned her dazed eyes to Natalie. “I got rid of it.” She muttered dreamily. “That doctor doesn’t know anything anyway, he was telling me I had to let my son go, can you imagine? He’s not even sixteen yet, he’s too young.” Diana was starting to tear up.

“Mom!” Natalie cried in exasperation. “You can’t throw your meds out, we’ve talked about this.”

“Gabe thought it was a good idea.” She petted the air in a tender way, she never held Natalie so softly. “Why can’t you be more like your brother?”

“Gabe isn’t here!” Natalie exploded.

“What do you…”

“He’s dead mom! Dead. It’s just me and you, so stop talking about him all the time, because he’s. not. here. Look at me mom! I’m right here!”

Diana stared. Natalie was panting. She’s never said anything like that, never denied Gabe so vehemently, she’d always left it to doctors and her grandparents, but she just couldn’t stand it anymore. 

“Tomorrow morning, we’re going back to your psychopharmacologist, get your meds back, and you’ll feel better then.” Natalie tried to believe it. “Goodnight mom.” 

She stalked off to bed. Leaving Diana staring into space.

The next morning Natalie woke up to find her mom on the floor. A music box and a razor blade lying beside her. Blood dripping from her wrists and pooling on the tile floor.

Chapter Text

The hours after Diana’s suicide attempt were a blur for Natalie. She could barely remember calling the ambulance, riding to the hospital, filling in forms, and calling her grandparents. She sat in a waiting room, swaying. Rushing in her ears, and her eyes blurring. All she could think of was the argument she’d had with her mom the previous night; in her head, her words twisted into cruel and spiteful weapons, she felt like a monster.

When her grandparents arrived they rushed to check on Diana. Her grandmother was snapping at doctors, demanding answers and explanations, while her grandfather quietly stared at his daughter.

Natalie was left alone again while discussions were had; she wandered around the sterile corridors. Eventually she decided to pick up the phone and call Henry.

He picked up quickly, asking why she wasn’t in school. Natalie broke into sobs, explaining through the tears about her mom, the fight, and the hospitalisation. 

“Nat I’m so sorry. What’s going to happen now?”

“I don’t know.” She admitted. “I’m afraid I might be sent away, I might not come back to school.” This had been a fear of hers for a long time. For a while Henry didn’t respond.

“I’m sure you’ll be okay.” He replied eventually. “And your mom too. And even if you don’t go to our school anymore I promise I’ll see you again.”

Eventually, Natalie’s grandparents came to explain that Diana was currently being monitored, and would soon be admitted to a psychiatric care unit.

“What’s going to happen to me?” They exchanged looks.

“We’ll for now you’ll be coming home with us, it’s not too far.” Her grandma started.

“But that’s not a sustainable solution. We have to wait and see how Diana is doing. Perhaps proper inpatient care will be good for her.” Her grandfather put in.

Natalie wondered why her grandparents didn’t want to look after. Why did nobody care about her? Her brother was dead, her mother was dying, but she was the one who felt like a ghost.

Diana lay in her thin paper clothing. Staring at her wrapped wrists. Her parents had been trying to phone ever since she had come to the psychiatric facility, but she didn’t want to talk to them. She didn’t want to talk to anyone except for Gabe. He was there with her, tearful and quiet, but there. She didn’t question the logic of his presence, he had promised they would be together forever, and they were together, but it wasn’t in the magical world he had described. It was her fault, she felt sure, her baby would never lie to her. 

Actually, there was one other person she wanted to talk to, other than Gabe. Someone she missed more than ever, and she still remembered his number.

Chapter Text

Natalie had spent only a few days at her grandparents’ and she was miserable. Her mom wouldn’t answer their calls, and they weren’t allowed to visit yet. Henry called her every day, but that was only a small comfort. 

Both of her grandparents had gone out to run errands, she refused to participate. Most days she spent in Diana’s old bedroom, lying on the floor like she used to. There came a knock on the front door.

Natalie opened the door to see a young man looking anxious and dishevelled.

“Um, hello. Who are you?” 

The man wrung his hands. “Are you Natalie Goodman?” He asked.

She stepped back, concerned that this stranger knew her name. 

“I’m sorry.” He continued. “I’m Dan Goodman, I’m looking for my daughter.”

Natalie’s jaw dropped in shock. She knew the name Dan, it was one of the only things she knew about her absent father.

“You’re my dad?” The shocked exclamation left her mouth before she knew it. 

Dan’s eyes filled with tears. “So it is you, Natalie.” He surged forward and hugged her. “My girl, my baby girl. I’m so sorry.” Natalie held him, she had never been hugged so fiercely.

“But how did you know where to find me.”

“Diana - your mother called me. She told me everything. Oh Natalie, I never knew she had another baby, I never would have left.”

“Why did you leave?” Dan tensed. “Was it because of Gabe?” She didn’t know why she brought it up, but she felt he would know what she meant.

“You know about that? Does she…” He seemed afraid to continue. “She hasn’t gotten any better has she?”

“She still believes he’s alive.” Natalie whispers the words. 

Dan grasped Natalie by the shoulders. “It’s going to be okay.” He assured. “You can stay with me for now, and I will help your mother get better, I promise. I won’t leave either of you alone now.”

Natalie hadn’t expected her grandparents to protest the change of arrangement. They did, but only lightly, they soon seemed happy enough to let Natalie leave their home.

It was strange in Dan’s house. He had remarried several years ago, and now he and his wife had a son of their own, who was only a few years old. 

Dan’s wife was surprisingly kind to her, and Dan himself would often apologise about his long absence from her life, and the apparent suddenness of his new family. He seemed to worry that she would be jealous or resentful, she didn’t know how to explain that she was now getting more attention than she ever had before. 

Though sometimes, when she looked at her young half-brother, she couldn’t help but remember her early years, sitting alone, trying to talk to her invisible brother. She knew Gabe wasn’t here, literally, but also his presence was absent from this house. She almost missed him, and she wondered how her father could handle the grief when he looked at his new son.

One morning, Dan approached Natalie with the slightly awkward air of someone about to start an important but uncomfortable conversation.

”So, Nat, you know I’ve been looking into treatments and therapies for your mother?”

”Yea.” She was very grateful of this, it felt so good to have someone else looking out for her mom.

”Well I was wondering, if maybe you would, uh, like to see someone yourself?” Natalie paused.

”You mean a therapist?”

”Yes.” Dan carried on before Natalie could interrupt. “I know you’ve been having a really hard time of things, not just now, but for a long time. I don’t want things to get any worse, I don’t want-“ He broke off, and took a deep breathe.

”Okay.”

”What?”

”Okay I’ll do it.” Natalie knew what he was afraid of, he didn’t want her to end up like her mom. She was afraid of that too. And she knew that it wasn’t good that she couldn’t look at Dan’s son without missing a boy she never knew, or that she had nightmares about her mother dying, and stayed up till the early morning. She had always found it hard to have faith in medicine, it never seemed to help her mother, but maybe if she got help before things got too bad, maybe she could be better.

It was several months before Diana could be released from the clinic. All the while Dan was researching new treatments and therapies. Natalie worried all the while, that things would simply go back to the status quo once her mom was released, or that things would be worse, it always seemed to be one or the other. 

It was only a couple of weeks from her release date when Diana requested a visit from Natalie. She was apprehensive, having not seen her mom in months.

When Natalie walked into Diana’s room, Diana reached out and pulled her into a hug. Natalie looked up to see tears rolling down her face.

“Mom?”

“I’m sorry sweetie, it’s just, I’ve missed you.”

Chapter Text

Natalie was glowing with excitement. She had been practicing religiously for weeks in preparation for her big recital. It would be the first time her dad had seen her play on stage, and it was a long time ago that her mom had last been to see one of her performances.

She had gotten used to the new custody arrangement. Spending her weeks with mom as she always had, so that she could still attend school, but on Fridays her dad would drive to collect her, and she’d spend the weekends with him. 

It was still exciting for them to both be in the same place, and all to watch her. 

Henry appeared in the wings, suddenly. He smiled shyly and offered her a small bouquet.

“Oh Henry! You shouldn’t have, oh thank you!” They hugged, and Henry spoke.

“Nat, um, I was thinking, would you like to, maybe, be my girlfriend?” Natalie beamed in joy, and hugged him again.

“Yes, yes I would love to.”

The performance went beautifully. Natalie could see her family in the front row. Her dad sat in between her mom and his wife, holding her half-brother on his knee. The curly-haired toddler waved up at her, and she smiled fondly.

After the show, her parents gushed about how great she was. Natalie begged to be allowed to stay out late with Henry, and with some wheedling, they agreed. 

Natalie wasn’t too worried about her mom being home without her. Ever since they had gotten her a live-in carer who specialised in mental illness, Diana was doing much better at managing the household. She went to sleep at a reasonable time most nights, and always remembered to take her new medication. It was a much lower dose, which meant less side-effects, but she still had her regular therapy to make sure everything was going well.

Natalie’s own therapist had been helping her with her own anxiety over her mom and her schoolwork, and she was making progress.

Still, before she left, Natalie hugged her mother tight, and Diana whispered to her “Gabe thought you were amazing.” Natalie didn’t say anything, just squeezed her mom, and then let go.

It was still a mystery whether her mom would ever be “better”, but for now, they were managing to live, for day after day, they always found a way.