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Chapter Text

It was no surprise that the 118 got a call for a car crash on the 101; car crashes are more common than you think. What Evan Buckley didn't expect was who was in the accident.

He stopped in his tracks when his eyes came across the familiar vintage red car from the 80s. It was the EXACT copy of the one that Danny Tanner from Full House drove. Buck ran towards the driver's seat and almost passed out in horror. There sat his beautiful wife, Zayna, unresponsive, no breathing. Being a firefighter was difficult enough; Buck knew he couldn't save everyone, but at this moment, the only thing he wished for was to save his wife.

"Zayna, please listen to me, I need you to respond to my voice, okay, just respond," he pleaded, holding back tears., One thing he was not going to do was cry on a call. Bobby knelt next to Buck, gently grabbed his shoulder. He closed his eyes for a second, then turned his head towards the once energetic man next to him. Sometimes the best thing to do was to rip the bandage right off.

"Buck, listen to me, she is gone, I am so sorry," he pulled Buck into a hug. Buck finally broke and sobbed into Bobby's arms. The love of his life, the one he married, the mother of his three daughters, is dead. For the first time in his life, there is nothing he could do about it. The ride back to the station was quiet; no one spoke a word. Hen tried to keep herself together. Chimney placed a hand on Buck's shoulder, a silent reminder that he is always there for him.

"Buck, I am going to give you the rest of the day off. I do not want to hear you say anything. Go home to your daughters, they are going to need you more than ever," Bobby ordered Buck. Buck throws his arms around Bobby, thanking him profusely. He got into his car and drove to his two eldest daughters' school.

Safiyya is his eldest. She is 7, loves Taylor Swift, and does cheerleading. Buck made sure to be at every single one of her competitions. Aqsa is his middle child. She is 5, has an obsession with Scooby-Doo, and plays softball. Buck would spend his free time helping Aqsa practice for her upcoming games. Marwa is his youngest; she is 5 months old and does whatever a baby is supposed to do. Both Safiyya and Aqsa adored Marwa and would constantly brag to their classmates about how adorable their baby sister is. Once he arrived at the school, he immediately saw Safiyya and Aqsa sitting on a bench.

"Baba!" screamed both Safiyya and Aqsa. They ran into his arms, and he picked both of them up.

"How are my two gurias doing today?" Buck asked, carrying them to his car.

" I drew a billi today, baba," Aqsa said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Buck smiled and placed a kiss on both Safiyya's and his foreheads.

"Shabash Aqsa," Buck smiled happily.

"Aqsa, in English, billi is a cat. You drew a cat today," Safiyyah told her sister. She also kissed her dad's cheek.

"I know that Safi, but mama says Billi, so I will say Billi," Aqsa responded to her older sister, Safiyya. Just rolled her eyes. Buck almost stopped in his tracks when Aqsa said that. How on Earth was he going to tell his daughters that their mother had just died?

"Who wants ice cream?" Buck asked, trying to hold himself together. Both girls squeal with excitement.

"Okay, okay, when we pick up Marwa from her daycare, I will take the three of you out for pizza and ice cream, it will be baba-beti day today," he cheered, putting his two daughters in their car seats. 

After a long day of fun, Buck put all three of his daughters to bed. He kept the door to all his daughter's rooms a bit open so he could rush in there immediately if something were to happen. Buck did not know what to do; no child should have to grow up without their mothers, especially his daughters. He crashed into his bed and stared at his ceiling. He knew he had to tell Safiyya and Aqsa about their now-dead mama. The only question is how…

Baba: Father

Guria: Doll

Billi: Cat

Shabash: well done

Mama: Mother

Beti: Daughter

Chapter Text

Buck had no idea what to do, so he did the first thing that came to mind.

“Good morning, girls, how would you feel if I called you two out of school today?” he asked as Safiyya and Aqsa came downstairs. The fresh aroma of aloo paratha fills the air. The two girls screamed with excitement. No school, how can life get better than that?

“Okay, if you guys want more paratha, let me know today is our day, and our day on,y,” he told them as they sat down at the dinner table. Buck decided that today was going to be the day he told them that their mother is dead. He talked with Bobby about how to have this conversation, so he was somewhat prepared.

“My gurias, after breakfast I want you two to go to the living room, I have something I need to tell you,” he sighed, kissing their foreheads.

“Are we in trouble, baba?” Aqsa asked, stuffing her face with paratha.

“No, oh, you guys are not in trouble, just finish up your breakfast,” Buck chuckled.

13 years ago 

“I do not even know why I am doing this, Maddie,” Buck groaned, trying to fix his tie. Today was the day he was going on a date with someone he had met recently. Her name was Jennifer, and they met at the beach, and Buck thought she was hot.

“ You like him,r thou,gh Buck, she is the only person you talked about this past week,” Maddie replied, rolling her eyes, fixing Buck’s tie for him.

“I am having second thoughts about this.”

“Well, that is what first dates are for; if you don’t end up liking her, you can just let her know.”

“I am not doing this at all.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I am not.”

Buck is now waiting at an empty table. He tapped his fingers on the table while his leg shook uncontrollably. He waited patiently for Jennifer to show up, and to just tell her that this was not going to work out, and that they should find different people.

Buck: He, Jennifer, I saved us a table. Let me know when you are coming.

Jennifer: Oh yeah, definitely. Buck: Okay,y looking forward to seeing you

30 minutes later

Buck: HEY, where are you? I have been waiting for 30 minutes

Buck: Are you coming

Buck: Shit, you just stood me up

Stood up. Evan Buckley just got stood up. He slammed his head on the table.

“Hey, are you okay?” Buck looked up, and his jaw almost dropped. He would be drooling if his head hadn't told him to quickly get his shit together. There in front of him stood the most jaw-dropping woman ever. She has copper skin with a hint of gold underneath. She had black hair with loose curls that fell just below her shoulders. Her face was decorated with freckles. She looked to be about 5’6, but she made Buck, who was 6’2, feel small.

“Do you want me to call someone?” she asked again, her voice filled with concern. Buck quickly snapped out of his thoughts.

“Oh no, I am fine, I am fine, thank you though,” he quickly responded. He felt hot. Was he sweating? Oh boy, if he were sweating, he would be in so much trouble.

“Uh, do you mind if I sit he? My family is kinda on me tonight, and I want to avoid them?” the girl asked. Buck quickly nodded and sat up straight. His brain was slow clapping.

“My name is Zayna,” she said with a soft smile. Buck would go to war for that smile.

“I am Evan, but everyone calls me Buck.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. Where did the nickname come from?” she asked. Buck was in trouble; her voice was like a choir.

“My last name is Buckley,”

“My last name is Malik, a little fun fact about me, my last name is my dad’s first name,” she responded.

“In Pakistani culture, it is common for someone's last name to be their child’s first name,” Zayna quickly added. Buck was officially head over heels; he was intrigued by what she had to say. He could listen to her voice for hours.

“Tell me more, Zayna, I want to know more,” he responded. He could definitely feel himself blushing.

“I want to know more about you,u Buck.”

“I am a firefighter.”

“I am studying to be a forensic scientist, not really the path my parents wanted me to take, but they still support me.” With every word that came out of her mouth, Buck would fall for her even more.

“Have you ever been on a date, Zayna?” Buck asked, raising his eyebrows.

“I am Muslim, we do not really do dating, and if we do, quote unquote date, it is not like your typical date, we both have to be Muslim, there has to be a chaperone, it is this whole thing,” she replied. Buck nodded quickly, and he quickly muttered curses to himself, then looked back at Zayna.

“ What about a friend?”

“Evan Buckley, I would love to be your friend,” Zayna smiled. Buck quickly nodded again. God, he was so in love with this woman. Over the next few months, Buck and Zayna became best friends, and over time, they fell for each other. They would occasionally meet up at work or at the park. These were not dates; these were just get-togethers. Eventually, both Buck and Zayna knew they were starting to get obsessed with each other. Buck did some extensive research on Islam; not only did he fall in love with Zayna, but he also fell in love with the religion. He found a local mosque and asked questions to the Imam. He made up his mind, he was going to convert. Not just for Zayna, but for himself.

"Okay, Buc,k I want you to repeat after me, I am going to recite the Shahada. Once you recite this, you will be Muslim,” the Imam said, opening up his Quran.

“Okay.”

“Ash-hadu an la ilaha.”

“Ash-hadu an la ilaha.”

“Illa Allah”

“Illa Allah “

Wa ash-hadu anna.”

“Wa ash-hadu anna.”

“Muhammadan Rasulullah.”

“Muhammadan Rasulullah.” It was official.

“Zayna, you know how you told me you can only date Muslims?” Buck asked Zayna. Zayna was cleaning up her place a bit, and he simply nodded.

“Well, can I take you on that date?” Zayna almost dropped a stack of plates. She turned around quickly. Buck nodded, showcasing a big smile.

“I wanted this to be a surprise. I converted Zayna, not just for you, but for myself. Zayna, I am in love with you,” Buck proclaimed. Zayna teared up and nodded.

“Yes, Buck, I would love to.”

3 years later, “Zayna, I want to marry you,” Buck said after one of their dates.

“Wait, really, Buck?” she asked with hope in her voice. Buck nodded, and they both went to Zayna's house to share the news. They both were nervous; Zayna’s parents adored Buck, but the two were scared of how they would react to their marriage.

“Buck, you make my daughter very happy, MashAllah, if marrying her is what makes the two of you happy, and me some grandchildren, please marry her,” Zayna’s father said. Zayna almost broke down in tears. “Shukria baba, shukria shukria shukria,” Zayna sobbed, hugging her father. She turned to Buck. “We are going to get married,” Zayna exclaimed. “InshAllah, we are going to get married inshAllah,” Buck replied. “InshAllah.” Present day Throughout Buck and Zayna’s relationship, Buck would constantly replay the moment he first proposed to Zayna. If you told him 13 years ago that he would be married with 3 daughters, he would not believe you for one second. Zayna changed Buck’s life, and he will always be grateful for that. “So Baba, what happened?” Safiyya asked, holding Aqsa’s hand. Buck sat them both down on the couch. It was time.

Mashallah: good job

Shukria: Thank you

InshAllah: If God wills

Chapter Text

“So when is Mama coming back?” Safiyyah asked, sipping her apple juice. Buck held back a sob, pulling her closer.

“She is not coming back, beti, but she still loves us so much, so so much,” he replied.

“Is she going to visit u, Baba?” Aqsa asked. Holding back a bunch of sobs, Buck shook his head.

“She is not visiting, but we can visit her; she is with Allah SWT now,” Buck responded, Oh God, he missed his wife. Just then, a sob came from the nursery.

“Stay here, that is your sister. I will be right back,” he rushed to Marwa’s room and saw her sobbing.

“Shh, it is okay what happened,” it was more of a statement than a question. Marwa sobbed again; she was hungry. Buck quickly fed her from her bottle and put her back to sleep. In the other room, Safiyya and Aqsa started fighting over an American Girl doll.

“ Ya mera hay, Aqsa,” Safiyya screamed.

“Majhe de do, Safi,” Aqsa screamed back., Buck ran back to the living room.

“Aqsa, it belongs to Safi. Your birthday is next month, I promise you I will get you one,” Buck pleaded, tears forming in his eyes. Both Safiyya and Aqsa noticed this and stopped fighting.

“Shukria.” Buck signed. “Don’t cry,y baba, mama does not like you crying,” said Aqsa, crawling into her father's lap. Safiyya nodded in agreement, doing the same. Buck smiled and kissed the top of their heads.

“I love you two so much, and so did your mama, so do not ever think that mama does not love us,” Buck said softly. The two girls hummed in agreement. Aqsa grabbed the remote and put on their mama’s favorite family movie. Little Women. The two girls started drifting off and yawning. Buck looked at them both, chuckled, and carried them to their rooms. He looked at his phone, the wallpaper, him and Zayna on their wedding day, Zayna's head to toe in traditional Pakistani attire, same with Buck. He remembers eating traditional Pakistani cuisine like biryani and chicken tikka. He lies back on the couch and closes his eyes, drifting off.

7 years ago, 

“Buck, piyari, I have news,” Zayna said softly, brushing her hair.

“Yes, Zayna, I am listening,” Buck replied, getting off the bed and kissing her cheek. Zayna smiled softly and kissed his cheek back.

“So what is it that you want to tell me, Zayna?” Buck asked, styling her hair into a messy braid. She turns around to face him, putting her hands on his cheeks.

“I am pregnant,” she responded, smiling big. Buck’s jaw dropped, and  Zayna nodded fast.

“You are going to be a dad,” she laughed. Buck pulled her into a tight hug, but not too tight., He did not want to hurt the baby.

“You are going to be a mom, Zayna,” Buck responded, kissing her forehead.

“Will I be a good one?” she asked, looking down at her stomach. Buck gently lifts her chin up, softly kissing her.

“You will be an amazing mom, Zayna. Look at all your nieces and nephews, they love Zayna Khalah, or Zayna phuppo,” Buck told her. Zayna smiled again and kissed Buck.

“I am going to keep your word there,” she laughed. That laugh, that laugh was what made Buck fall in love with her.

Throughout her difficult pregnancy, Buck was there every step of the way. If Zayna was craving nihari in the middle of the night, Buck would immediately get up and make it. If she were feeling sick, Buck would lie down with her till she got better. Buck would video call her daily, just to make sure she was okay. Zayna was so grateful to have Buck in her life.

After a long time in labour, Zayna successfully delivered their first daughter, Safiyya. Welcome to the world, Safiyya Buckley.

“She looks just like you, Buck,” Zayna said, carrying their newborn in her arms. Buck kissed her forehead and glanced down at their daughter. Zayna was right, Safiyya did look like Buck. She had his hair, his nose, even his birthmark.

“Hold your daughter,” Zayna said. Buck immediately nodded and held his daughter in his arms. He started tearing up. He became a dad, and he would do anything to protect his daughter. The next day, the 118 would take turns visiting Zayna in the hospital. Hen immediately adored Safiyya and would carry her around the hospital, telling her everything. Chimney referred to her as a future firefighter of the 118. Bobby treated her as if she were his own child. Buck felt so grateful for the fact that his entire team adored his daughter just as much as he did.

“Here's to many years, Buck and Zayna,” Chimney exclaimed, holding a bottle of water to the air.

Present day

Buck smiled at the memory of when Safiyya was first born. He was so excited to be a father and raise her with Zayna. Now he was alone, alone and afraid; he feared the worst, harming his kids.

Terminology

Ya mera ha - This is mine

Majhe de do - Give it to me

piyari - sweetheart, darling (term of endearment)

khalah - aunt on mothers side (my moms sister is my khalah)

phuppo - aunt on fathers side (my dads sister is my phuppo)

Chapter Text

Buck had a dilemma. He did not know whether or not it was the right time to send Safiyya and Aqsa back to school. They were still struggling with the death of their mother, and he did not think going back to school right away was the right decision for them. Then again, their school was out next week, and they would have 2 months to themselves. He sat on the couch with his head in his hands. Zayna would have known what to do, but Zayna was dead. If she were alive, this predicament would not be happening. He looks back at the years they were married. Buck always thought he would die first; he was a firefighter after all. He dedicated his life to saving others, and he knew the risks that would come with it. As he was lost in his thoughts, a small voice interrupted him.

“Baba?” the small voice said. Buck looked up and saw Aqsa standing in front of the living room holding a pink bear.

“Kiya hawa meri jaan?” Buck asked. He motioned for her to come closer, and she did. He scooped her up and sat her on his lap.

“I had a nightmare,” she sobbed. Buck’s heart broke into a million pieces. He kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair, trying to calm her down.

“What was it about?”

“A jinn in my closet.”

“Let’s get you back to sleep. I will check your closet for monsters,” Buck said, lifting his daughter into his arms and leading her to her bedroom. He sat her down on her bed and opened her closet. It was just filled with clothes and other toys.

“No jinns in your closet,guria,” Buck said, closing the closet door and sitting on the foot of Aqsa’s bed. He strokes her hair, trying to soothe her back to sleep. As soon as he saw her finally doze off, he kissed her forehead and returned to the living room.

Buck eventually decided to let the girls skip school tomorrow so he can let the school know about Zayna’s passing. They were going to return the day after due to the fact that their school year ended in less than a week, and he knew Safiyya and Aqsa loved to participate in the end-of-school activities.

He looked at the kitchen table and saw the big mess the girls had made with their art supplies. He gathered the cleaning supplies and started cleaning up all the glitter, paint, and glue that were left all over the table. As he was cleaning, something caught his eye. It was a picture that Safiyya made. It was a picture of their family, but it was different. Everyone looked sad, there were no bright colors, and it was missing one person, Zayna. Buck took the picture and placed it in his room. He was thinking of talking to Safiyya about it the next day. The table was finally squeaky clean. Buck smiled and put all the cleaning supplies back where they belonged.

Exhaustion all of a sudden hit Buck like a truck, so he went to his room, only to see Safiyya sleeping in his bed. His heart swelled; he did not want to take her back to her room, so he gently moved her to what was Zayna’s side of the bed. He took a quick shower, brushed his teeth, and hopped into bed. He fell asleep quickly; again, Zayna filled up his mind.

5 years ago 

“Mama, Baba, Sara from the mosque has a baby brother. I want a baby brother or sister, please,” Safiyya said, grabbing onto Buck’s leg. Zayna and Buck looked at each other and laughed. Buck lifted Safiyya and spun her around.

“Oh, you want a baby brother or sister, Safi?” Zayna asked, kissing her daughter's cheek. Safiyya nodded eagerly.

“Yes, Mama, please please please,” pleaded the young girl. Buck and Zayna continued laughing.

“Being a big sister is a big responsibility, Safi. Are you sure you want one?” Buck asked. Safiyya nodded eagerly. Buck and Zayna looked at each other and nodded.

“We can talk about this tomorrow, but now it is time for a nap,” Buck said. Safiyya shook her head.

“No nap”.

“You need one so you can feel better”.

“No”.

“I will give you ice cream,” Buck said in defeat. Safiyya nodded eagerly and dragged her father to her room. Zayna shook her head and chuckled while sitting on the couch.

“I see you are bribing our daughter with ice cream,” Zayna said, looking at her husband.

“This is the only time, I promise,” Buck responded. Zayna nodded and placed her head on Buck’s chest. Buck kissed her forehead and stroked her hair.

“Buck, do you want another baby?” Zayna asked quietly. Buck thought about it and nodded.

“Yeah, having another mini me or you in the house would be nice,” he said, still stroking Zayna’s hair.

“I’m serious, us Buck”.

“I’m also serious”.

Soon enough, Zayna was pregnant again, and they scheduled a doctor appointment so they could find out the gender of the new addition to their family.

“Mr and Mrs Buckley, I am pleased to announce that you are having a girl,” the doctor said. Buck kissed Zayna and shook the doctor’s hand. “Safi would be so happy,” Zayna sighed in relief. Throughout the pregnancy, Safiyya would beg Buck and Zayna for a sister. When they picked up Safiyya from daycare, they decided to break the news. 

“Safiyya, you are going to have a baby sister,” Buck said as Safiyya ran to him. She practically shrieked with joy. They knew that Safiyya would adore the new baby.

After hours in labor, Zayna successfully gave birth to a healthy baby girl. As the baby was placed in her arms, she started to tear up. The baby was a spitting image of her, similar to how Safiyya was a spitting image of Buck. The baby also had the same birthmark as Buck.

 “What do you want to name her, Buck?” Zayna asked. Buck’s heart leapt with joy. He was going to name his new daughter.

“Aqsa”. Welcome to the world, Aqsa Buckley. All of the 118 came to visit the new baby. Hen went on about how Aqsa looked exactly like Zayna. Chimney would check in on Zayna along with Buck. He would also sneak her some chocolate muffins. Bobby started tearing up as Buck placed the newborn in his arms. Bobby adored children, so he would get emotional whenever someone he loved had a baby.

Present day

Buck smiles at the memory of when Aqsa was born. He remembered Safiyya’s reaction when they brought her home for the first time. Buck made it his mission to give his daughters the childhood he never got. Even without Zayna, he would never give up.

Kiya hawa meri jaan: what happened my dear 

jinn: a demon in islamic and pre islamic belief 

Chapter Text

“ Zabrdast Buck, Zabardast,” Buck said to himself sarcastically after he accidentally dropped Aqsa’s favorite plate on the ground.

It is shocking to some people that Buck was fluent in Urdu. He taught himself the language the moment after he first met Zayna; he wanted to impress her. It was hard at first, but he quickly got the hang of it.

He stared at the shattered flower plate on the ground and bit his lip. Aqsa would refuse to eat anything if it were not on that one specific plate. Now that it was shattered, Buck had no idea how she was going to eat her breakfast. He grabbed his phone and checked the time; it was 6:30. He had 30 minutes before Safiyya and Aqsa woke up, which meant he had 30 minutes to quickly get another flower plate for Aqsa. He grabbed his car keys and ran to his car. Being a firefighter had its quirks, and right now, that quirk was being able to run fast.

He arrived at the store and rushed inside. He found an employee and ran straight towards her. He gave her quite a fright.

“Do you have this plate with you?” He asked the lady. She grabbed the plate and inspected it.

“I think I sold the last one. I am so sorry, we have a shipment coming in next week,” she responded, handing the shattered piece back to Buck. One week was not good enough; Aqsa needed to eat now. He quickly thanked the employee and ran around the store trying to find the person who could have had the last flower plate. Just when he thought he was out of luck, his eyes found a cart, and inside that cart was the exact flower plate that Aqsa loved.

He found the lady who was using the cart and immediately ran to her.

“Hey, um, is this your cart?” he asked the lady. The lady turned around, a bit annoyed that she was interrupted.

“Yes, this is my cart,” she responded. Her eyes softened when they landed on Buck wearing his firefighter uniform.

“I see you got one of those flower plates, um, they are very adorable,” Buck said, stuttering over his words. He needed that flower plate, not for him, but for his daughter.

“Yes, they are very adorable,” she responded.

“I know this may sound like a lot, but I really need that plate,” Buck said.

“Why, it is for children, and please forgive me, but you do not look like a child to me?” she asked, continuing her shopping.

“I know it is for children, that is why I need it, I have three daughters at home, and one of them, she, refuses to eat anything unless it is off that exact flower plate, I accidentally dropped it, and I need her to eat so please, parent to parent help me out,” Buck pleased with the lady, he even brought out his phone to show her pictures of his daughters. The lady softly smiled and grabbed the plate, handing it over to Buck.

“I did not even need it anyway, you need it more, plus you are a firefighter,” she smiled before walking away. Buck almost burst into tears at that moment.

Buck arrived home just in time. He quickly made Safiyya and Aqsa their breakfasts and went to Marwa’s nursery to check in on her.

“Okay, girls, you guys will be staying with Aunt Maddie today, but do not worry, I will be back from work,” Buck said, making some more pancake batter. It was Zayna’s secret recipe. The secret? A hint of lemon. Both girls squealed with joy. They love their Aunt Maddie, who takes them to the park and pushes them on the swing.

After he dropped the girls off at Maddie’s house, he went straight to the stations. Both Chimney and Hen were surprised to see Buck back at work so soon.

“How are the girls doing?” Chimney asked as Buck walked in. 

“They were very upset at first. It is really hard to explain death to a seven-year-old and a five-year-old, and I do not know what to do when Marwa grows older,” Buck responded, tears threatening to fall down his face. Chimney put a hand on Buck’s shoulder.

“You are doing great, Buck, just remember that your daughters love you. This will not be easy, but you have all of us here to help you,” Hen said. Buck thanked both of them. As they continued talking, he noticed that they got distracted.

“That is one beautiful man,” Chimney said. Confused, Buck turned around a froze in place. Walking into the station was someone he had never seen before.

“Everyone, welcome our newest recruit, Eddie Diaz from Texas,” Bobby said, walking alongside Eddie.

Oh shit.

Terminology Zabardast: wonderful, fantastic, awesome

Chapter Text

Buck had no idea what to think when he saw Eddie Diaz for the first time. He would be lying if he said he wasn't impressed by his physique. However, his jealousy got the best of him, and he quickly shoved his thoughts aside. He overheard Chimney and Hen discussing the firefighter calendar with the recruit.

“ I do not see the point of this firefighter calendar,” Hen said. Chimney and Eddie just laughed.

“It is for charity, Hen,” Chimney replied. Hen rolled her eyes and continued her conversation. From afar, Buck glared at them. Jealousy arose in him, but he also felt something else, something he did not know how to describe.

Over the next few days, Buck only saw Eddie as competition. Everything Eddie did, Buck would think of a way to do it better. He did not want to be better than Eddie Diaz; he needed to be better than him.

He was quickly distracted from his thoughts when he felt shaking. At first, he thought it was just his mind playing tricks on him, but then the shaking grew stronger. He immediately ducked under the table. He looked down and saw Eddie roll away from under the firetruck. This earthquake was much stronger than any other earthquake he had gone through. His thoughts went immediately to his sister Maddie. She just started her first day as a 9-1-1 dispatcher. His daughters, Marwa, were at daycare while Safiyya and Aqsa were at school. If he knew anything, he knew that Aqsa would be on the floor sobbing, and this time he won’t be there to console her.

Right after the shaking stopped, the 118 jumped right into action. As they were driving, Buck noticed Eddie frantically typing on his phone.

“Who are you trying to get hold of?” Buck asked.

“My son,” Eddie responded.

“You have a kid?” Chimney asked.

“Yeah, his name is Christopher, his mom is not town, I am trying to text him, but the power lines are probably down,” he replied. he still looked nervous. He showed the crew a

“I also have a kid, well, three actually,” Buck told Eddie, leaning in closely.

“Really?” Eddie asked, and he looked happy, genuinely happy.

“Yeah, three daughters,” Buck responded eagerly. He loved talking about his daughters; they were his pride and joy. He showed Eddie a photo of them.

“Their names are Safiyya, Aqsa, and Marwa. Their mom died recently, so I am all they have really,” Buck responded. he looked at Eddie. Eddie gave him a nod and smiled at him. In that moment, Buck pushed all feelings aside; he bonded with Eddie, father to father, firefighter to firefighter, and maybe even friends to friends.

They got a call for a hotel that looked like a tornado blew threw it. Most buildings in California are built to withstand earthquakes, so the amount of damage the building sustained was a surprise.

“Have you ever seen anything like this?”

“Never”

Chapter Text

“Thank you again for helping me pick up Chris from school,” Eddie said for the fifth time that night. Buck let out a small laugh and quickly glanced in the review mirror.

“It’s no problem at all, hope you did not mind me picking up Marwa from her daycare,” Buck said, looking back on the road.

“I do not mind at all, she is adorable,” Eddie said as he looked back, waving at the baby.

“I think it’s nice that our kids go to the same school,” Buck continued. In fact, he was grateful that Chris went to the same school as Safiyya and Aqsa. Safiyya always struggled to make friends; she was quiet, timid, and rarely spoke to anyone except her sisters and occasionally her teachers. He thought maybe if Chris and Eddie came over to his place more often, she would become good friends with them.

“I do as well. How old are your daughters again?” Eddie asked as he continued texting Chris.

“My eldest, Safiyya, is seven, Aqsa is five, and Marwa is around 5 months,” he replied.

“Chris is eight, around Safiyya’s age, maybe we can organize a playdate with them sometimes,” Eddie chimed in. He was ecstatic to find out his co-worker had kids, and the fact that one of them was around his son’s age made it even better.

“I was thinking the same exact thing, but I will mention that Safiyya is a bit on the quieter side; it may take her a while to get used to you two. It took her 5 months to get fully comfortable with the 118.” Buck added on.

“That is understandable. Chris is really social, and he loves making friends. He was so upset when we moved to L.A., because he did not want to leave his friends behind,” Eddie sighed. 

“I will talk to the girls about a playdate. Aqsa would love one, but I want to get Safiyya comfortable first,” Buck said, trying to end the awkward silence between the two.

“Your wife, Zayna, tell me more about her,” Eddie said. It was not a question; he wanted to know more about his new coworker and her life. Buck smiled, looking back at the memories he had with his wife.

“Well, I met her at a restaurant. I was supposed to be on a date, but I got stood up. I was so upset. Zayna then walked up because she thought I was dead. We talked and talked. I was going to ask her out on a date, but she said she was Muslim, so we just stayed friends,” Buck started. He looked at Eddie for approval to continue, and he nodded, signaling him to continue his story.

“I went on to study the religion and learn Urdu, because she is Pakistani, it was hard, if I am going to be honest, but so worth it. I eventually converted because one, the religion is beautiful, and two, I was so in love with her, and eventually we got married, had 3 kids, and everything was going perfectly.” Buck went on and on about his relationship with Zayna, but he stopped abruptly to take a deep breath.

“ I know it was hard, losing someone you loved and imagined spending your entire life with,” Eddie said, putting his hand on Buck’s shoulder.

“I think the hardest part was telling my girls that their mother is gone, plus Safiyya and Aqsa would have some memories of their mother. Marwa will have none, she is going to grow up without knowing what her mother was like,” Buck said, his voice cracking at the end.

“Do your daughters know Urdu?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, they are fluent in both Urdu and English, well, not Marwa, she currently only speaks baby talk,” Buck replied.

“If Marwa grows up speaking Urdu, that is one way she will know her mother, constantly tell her stories, she may not remember the moments she had with Zayna, but she will definitely know how wonderful she was, I never knew Zayna, but from what you told me, she seemed pretty amazing,” Eddie said, still having his hand on Buck’s shoulder. Buck smiled at him, and Eddie smiled back. It was a nice moment between the two, a bonding moment between two single parents.

“Being a single dad is hard, but hey, we can help each other out, plus we have the 118,” Buck told Eddie.

“Yeah, we single parents should stick together,” Buck chuckled. The rest of the drive was quiet. Buck would make the occasional glance towards Eddie, but would immediately turn his head back the moment they made eye contact.

The moment they arrived at the school, Buck parked the car. He grabbed Marwa, and he ran to his girls. Eddie headed straight for Chris.

“Are you girls okay? Are you hurt?” Buck asked, kneeling to inspect fr any bruises or cuts quickly.

“Yes, Baba, we are okay,” Safiyya said. On the other hand, Aqsa was sobbing her eyes out.

“ Tam kahan the?” she asked, wiping away her tears. Buck’s heart broke into a million pieces.

“I was at work, guria, but I am here now, let's go home,” Buck said, stroking his middle daughter's hair. She nodded and held on to her father's hand. 

In the corner of his eye, Buck could see Eddie running to Chris, the man lifted his son and started asking millions of questions. He smiled softly and looked at his girls. He was so grateful for them, he would give up the world for them, he would do anything just to see them smile.

“Baba, can we listen to Nazia Hassan in the car, mehrbani ?” Aqsa asked, Nazia Hassan was Zayna’s favorite singer, so naturally, his daughters loved her as well.

“Well, you have to ask my friend Eddie first, kangaroo,” Buck told her. He looked back at Eddie.

“Chris and I are totally fine with that; we need more music on our playlist anyway,” Eddie said, setting Chris down on the floor.

Aap Jaisa Koi

Meri Zindagi Mein Aaiay

Tou Baat Bun Jai

Anhaan Baat Bun Jai

Aap Jaisa Koi

Meri Zindagi Mein Aaiay

Tou Baat Bun Jai

Anhaan Baat Bun Jai

This song played at Buck’s and Zayna’s wedding, the day they swore they would be together through sickness and health, till death do them part. He never thought it would happen, but death took his wife away. He hasn't listened to the song since Marwa was born, but here he was, listening to the song, dropping off his new friend and his son off at his house.

“ Thank you so much for this, Buck. I will see you tomorrow,” Eddie said, slamming the car door shut, carrying a sleeping Chris back into the house. Buck nodded and started driving back to his own home. He can hear the soft snores of Safiyya and Aqsa in the back and smiles softly. He lowered the volume of the radio and drove without speaking another word.

“Baba,” Safiyya said as she entered her room.

“ Hunje beti?”

“Can we invite Chris over? he is funny and nice, and I want to have a playdate with him?” she asked, getting into her bed. Buck was so happy to hear those words come from her mouth. Anytime Buck brought up the idea of a playdate, Safiyya would immediately start crying.

“Yeah, of course, I will ask his dad,” Buck said as he pulled the covers over his eldest daughter.

The moment Buck went back to his room, he sent a text to Eddie.

Buck: Guess what Safiyya really wants to have a playdate with Chris, she brought it up herself, I didn't even need to ask :)

Eddie: That’s amazing. Chris wants one as well. We need to plan something soon.

Buck: For sure, see you tomorrow.

Eddie: See you tomorrow, Buck :)

Buck slept happily that night, not a single disturbance other than Marwa crying a few times.

Translations

Tam kahan the: Where were you

mehrbani: Please

Okay the song is called Aap Jaisa Koi by Nazia Hassan

Aap Jaisa Koi

If someone likes you

Meri Zindagi Mein Aaiay

Comes into my life

Tou Baat Bun Jai

It will be great

Anhaan Baat Bun Jai

Yes it will be great

Hunje: yes

Chapter Text

“When can we go to Chris’s house?” Safiyya asked while eating the chocolate chip pancakes that Buck had made. Buck made a little tradition: every Saturday, he would make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. It did not matter if everyone in the house woke up at 12:30; chocolate chip pancakes would be the first thing they ate that day.

“Inshallah, Safi, I still have to talk to Eddie about it,” Buck responded. Just thinking of Eddie made his heart smile.

“When you say inshallah, it means it won’t happen,” Aqsa groaned, crossing her arms and pouting.

“Well, this time it is 100% going to happen, Eddie and I have been talking about giving you guys a playdate,” Buck said. He grabbed the two empty plates and placed them in the dishwasher.

“I have the day off today, do you girls know what that means?” Buck asked, sporting a huge grin on his face.

“Baba beti day!” the two girls yelled together. Being a firefighter sometimes meant days when Buck couldn't see his girls, so every time he had a day off, he would spend every minute of it with his daughters. He would sit with them at the kitchen table to help them with their homework, which would eventually end with one of them in tears. He would volunteer at their school to help with the numerous events they put on. He would also be the one to tuck them into bed when Zayna was not feeling well. He honestly did not know where he would be without his daughters. They made him into a better person. Zayna made him into a better person.

Throughout the day, Buck took his daughters to numerous locations in L.A. His girls would follow him around like little ducklings.

“Baba, can we get ice cream?” Aqsa asked, holding her stuffed penguin that Buck won for her earlier that day. Buck was currently feeding Marwa, since she started getting fussy.

“After I finish feeding your sister, mehri jaan,” Buck responded. he then focused back on Marwa. 

The large ice cream parlor was a popular place for families. It had everything, from a play area to a mini library, so everyone had something to do while enjoying their ice cream. Every time Buck had a day off, he would take his girls to this ice cream parlor. When Zayna was pregnant with Marwa, she would constantly have a craving for their pistachio ice cream. They would all laugh as Aqsa would get her chocolate ice cream all over her face while Safiyya would try to attempt the monkey bars. They were the picture-perfect family. Now that Zayna is gone, Buck still wanted to keep these happy memories alive, and what better way to do it than taking them to their favorite place in the world?

“Okay, what flavors do you guys want?” Buck asked as they all entered the shop. He quickly grabbed Aqsa’s arm before she could make her way to the playground.

“I want cookie dough with rainbow sprinkles,” Safiyya responded almost immediately, her eyes wide open as she gazed at the rows of homemade ice cream.

“I want to try something new, Baba,” Aqsa said, holding onto her dad's legs.

“ Okay, you can get a sample.”

“What is a sample?” Aqsa asked, and Buck forgot she was 5 for a second.

“A sample is something people try to see if they like it or not, like when we go to Costco, those little brownies you ate were samples,” Buck responded, trying to make his explanation easy for a five-year-old to understand.

“Baba, what is kulfi?” Safiyya asked as she saw a cart full of it.

“ Kulfi is a Pakistani ice cream. When I went to Pakistan for your Mama’s and mine shaadi , we ate kulfi all the time.” Buck responded; he wanted to make sure his kids were proud of their Pakistani identity. He immediately thought of planning a trip to Pakistan so his daughter could visit Zayna’s family and see all their cousins.

“I want kulfi.”

“Me too.”

Buck got the kulfi, and the four of them sat down. It was a hot summer day, and one of the best things about kulfi is that it takes a longer time for it to melt. Which is great for longer rest periods and preventing big messes.

“I love kulfi,” Aqsa squealed, and this time there was no chocolate smeared all over her face.

“And I love you,” Buck replied, kissing the top of her head. The girl giggled in response. He then placed a kiss on Safiyya’s and Marwa’s heads.

The moon was high, and that meant three sleeping girls in the back. Safiyya woke up immediately when they arrived at their apartment, while Aqsa and Marwa were still sound asleep. He carried the two sleeping beauties while Safiyya followed closely behind, trying to jump on all the red diamonds on the carpet. As he placed Marwa in her crib and Aqsa in her bed, he heard the sound of the T.V playing.

“I want to watch Tinkerbell, ” Safiyya said, making herself comfortable on the couch.

“Tomorrow,” Buck responded as he grabbed the remote, turning the T.V off. Safiyya pouted, Buck laughed, and placed a kiss on her cheek.

“Time for bed.”

Safiyya groaned, but still headed back to her room. 

If Buck could, he would spend every minute of the day with his girls, but he knows that reality can never happen, especially since he sometimes has 24-hour shifts. However, if being a firefighter meant that he got to support his family, he would never ever leave the job.

Kulfi : a south asian ice cream from the India subcontinent

shaadi : wedding

Chapter Text

Buck always kept his parents away from his family. Margaret and Phillip never approved of Zayna. When he proposed to Zayna, he took her to meet his parents. He quickly regretted that decision. They did nothing but degrade her and make fun of her. Needless to say, they were not invited to the wedding, and he made sure they were not aware of his daughters' existence. 

Imagine his surprise when he looked through the peephole and saw those demons standing outside his door.

“What are you two doing here?” Buck asked, and he was seeing red. The two devils walked inside his house, Phillip bumping into his shoulder.

“I never said you guys could come in. I made it very clear I never want to see the two of you again,” Buck whispered so he would not wake up the girls.

“We know you didn't mean that, Evan,” Margaret said as she and Phillip progressed further into the house, and they did not even take off their shoes.

“Answer my question, why are you here?” Buck asked again; he was getting pissed.

“We heard about Zayna,” Phillip replied. Buck was getting angrier by the second. How dare they speak her name? They did not even bother to say it correctly.

“I do not need your condolences,” Buck responded hastily.

“We are not here for condolences, Evan,” Margaret said. He hated it when they called him Evan.

“What are you here for then? Why did you guys decide to come here when I made it clear I never wanted to see the two of you again?” Buck slammed his fist on the table. This sudden act made both Margaret and Phillip jump.

“We want to see our granddaughters,” Margaret responded. She made herself comfortable on the couch.

“Well, that is not going to happen, you can not just belittle my wife, come back when she dies, just to see my daughters, you will not be in my girls' lives, I want you out, now,” Buck exclaimed. He was not going to take any disrespect at all.

“Also, how do you know about them?”

“Well, when we came to the lobby, the person working at the desk mentioned you have kids, we don’t know why you did not tell us about them, Evan,” Phillip responded.

“I don’t want them to know that you put Maddie and me through, I don’t want them to know what kind of people you are, they are perfectly fine without you guys.”

“You don’t mean that,” Margaret responded, shaking her head.

“Oh, but I do mean it, I mean every bit of it, why else do you think I moved out as soon as possible?”.

“Can’t you please just tell us about them? We are their grandparents; we have the right to know.” Margaret pleaded, and she did that loudly. That old guilt-tripping trick may have worked on Buck when he was 12, but now he's in his 30s, so no way he was going to let them win. Most of the time, Buck can go on for hours just talking about Zayna and his daughters, but not to his parents. They do not deserve that.

“Lower your voice, they are sleeping, now I want you to get out of my house before I call the cops”. Just then, he was interrupted by a soft voice.

“Baba, who are they?”. He looked to his left and saw Safiyya walking out of her room. Buck got mad, not at Safiyya, who had done nothing wrong; he was angry at his parents for raising their voices. That woke her up.

“Safiyya, come here for a second,” Buck said, smiling. He did not want her to get scared or nervous.

“It’s okay, guria, you are not in trouble,” he held his hand out to her. Safiyya nodded and grabbed her father’s hand. He slowly led her to the couch, where he placed her on his lap.

“Safi, this is my mama and baba,” he kissed her forehead and shot a glare at his parents. It was 6:30 in the morning, and his girls should be asleep, but no, his parents just had to barge into HIS home and just to be loud and wake up his eldest daughter. She looked at his parents, then at him, back at his parents, and then back at him.

“They look mean,” she whispered in his ear. He laughed and kissed her forehead.

“Hello, Sophia, I'm your grandmother Margaret, and this is your grandfather Phillip,” Margaret said, leaning closer to them.

“My name is Safiyya, not Sophia,” Safiyya responded, less than five minutes in, and she already did not like her paternal grandparents. One of her biggest pet peeves is when people mispronounce her name. If someone were genuinely trying, she would appreciate it. Having an ethnic name is hard, and it seemed like Margaret and Phillip did not want to put in an ounce of effort into learning it.

“That’s what I said, sweetheart,” Margaret said, laughing. Now it was like they were trying to piss his daughters off. Another one of Safiyya’s pet peeves was people not taking her seriously. Buck could sense Safiyya’s annoyance, and he wanted his parents out of his house.

“Where are your sisters? We would love to meet them,” Phillip said, ruffling Safiyya’s hair.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she responded sarcastically. Buck reminded himself to let her have ice cream before dinner, just because of that.

“Safi, how about you go back to bed, okay?” Safiyya nodded and ran back to her room.

“What was that for?” Margaret asked.

“What was what for?”

“Sending Sophie back to her room,” Phillip responded.

“She needs her sleep; it is 6:30 in the morning, also her name is Safiyya, get it right,” Buck replied as he started grabbing his parents' belongings. He shoved their stuff into their arms and started leading them out the door.

“I hope you guys booked a hotel because there is no way in hell you are staying with me or Maddie.” Buck finally pushed them out the door and locked it, making sure they had no way in. 

Buck immediately told Maddie about the situation between him and his parents. He also made Safiyya promise not to tell her sisters about what happened, which she gladly agreed to do because she did not like them at all.

Chapter Text

Finally, the day of the long-awaited Buckley-Diaz kids' playdate has arrived. After hours and hours of planning, both Buck and Eddie were able to find time for their kids to hang out.

“Are we there yet?” Aqsa asked as she was bouncing in her car seat.

“We will be there in a minute,” Buck responded.

“1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,” She started counting. As soon as she found out how many seconds were in a minute, Aqsa would constantly count to 60.

“Stop counting, it’s annoying,” Safiyya said as she lightly smacked Aqsa’s shoulder.

“You’re annoying,” Aqsa responded, pushing her sister away.

“You are more annoying.”

 While Safiyya and Aqsa were fighting, baby Marwa was staring out the window mindlessly.

“If you two don’t stop fighting, I will not hesitate to turn this car around.” Buck turned around, throwing a playful glare at his daughters. The two stopped fighting and nodded. They had wanted to have this playdate for a long time, and they were not going to let it slip away. Buck gave himself a silent cheer. That was a technique that Zayna had taught him, so he made sure to use it as much as he could. 

Finally, they arrived at Zuma Beach, located in Malibu. What is better than a playdate? A beach playdate. Buck opened the passenger door and unbuckled Marwa from her car seat. He traveled to the other side of the car and opened the door for Safiyya and Aqsa.

“Remember to hold hands when crossing the street,” Buck said, grabbing onto Safiyya’s hand. She nodded in response and grabbed onto a hyper Aqsa’s hand. It was like she had five cups of coffee. The Buckleys made their way down the street, and they arrived at where the sand meets the sea. Aqsa quickly threw her flip-flops off and squealed when her feet hit the sand. The weather was perfect for a beach day; it was sunny, not a single cloud in the sky, and the waves were perfect for surfing. The cool breeze hit them, making their curly hair blow in the wind. Something the Buckley daughters gained from both their parents.

“Baba, look, Chris, and Uncle Eddie are over there by the swings,” Safiyya pointed out near the beach park. Eddie was there pushing Chris on the swings, which made him smile gleefully. Aqsa started bolting, but Buck’s firefighter reflexes caught her instantly.

“Slow down, kangaroo, remember we still need to hold hands,” Buck told her. She pouted and held on to his and Safiyya’s hands.

“How are you girls doing?” Eddie asked when the family made it to the park area of the beach.

“Good, how are you?” Aqsa responded. She looked down at her feet. She hated eye contact, and Buck has been trying to work on that with her, along with her shyness. Chris and Safiyya started talking about basically everything. The conversation went from seagulls to what the best type of cookie is. Safiyya said snickerdoodle, while Chris said chocolate chip.

“My baba makes really good cookies,” Aqsa told Eddie. She was slowly getting more comfortable with starting conversations. Eddie scooted closer to and began helping her with the sandcastle.

“Really? What is your favorite cookie, Aqsa?” Eddie asked her, and he was so happy that she was getting more comfortable with him.

“M&M cookies,”

“I love those.”

“Really.”

“Duh, they are the best cookies ever,” Eddie responded. Aqsa smiled and handed Eddie a pink plastic shovel. Eddie took the shovel from her and held her hand as he helped her collect water from the ocean.

“Hold on tight,” Eddie whispered to her. She nodded and lowered the bucket. She held Eddie’s hand as she saw the bucket fill up with water.

It is safe to say that both the Buckleys and Diazes had fun today. Even though Buck was primarily focused on Marwa, he still made some glances towards Eddie. His heart fluttered when he saw how gentle he was with Aqsa. He grinned like a cat when he saw Eddie taking her to the ocean, and how patient he was when their castle kept getting destroyed by some other kids.

All good things must come to an end, and this playdate is no different. As Chris and Safiyya discussed which character they would play as in Mario Kart, Eddie carried a sleeping Aqsa, while Buck held on to Marwa.

“Are you sure you want to carry her?” Buck whispered into his ear.

“Of course, she is an angel,” Eddie responded instantly. 

“I had fun today, the girls had fun today, thank you so much,” Buck said after putting Aqsa and Marwa in their car seats.

“It’s no problem at all. Chris had a great time as well. Safiyya is an amazing kid.” Eddie replied. He flashed that same smile that always made Buck’s heart skip a beat.

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

“And I will see you tomorrow, and hopefully your girls as well.”

Buck realized that he should schedule more playdates, not just so his daughters can continue their friendship with Chris, and yes, he means all of his daughters. Chris absolutely adores Marwa and asks if he could hold her all the time.

He wants to have more playdates so he can see more of Eddie outside of the uniform. He wants to see his smile, hear his laugh, and taste his food. He never felt this way about anyone before, and he loved every bit of it. It was kind of a win-win situation if you thought about it. His daughters could see Chris, and he could see Eddie.

Chapter Text

Time froze for Buck the moment he realized he could not move his leg. The LAFD firetruck has fallen on its leg after someone placed a bomb in it. He looked at Eddie with fear in his eyes. Despite the pain, the only thing he could think of was his girls; they had already lost their mother, and they could not lose him next. Throughout his struggles, he felt someone hold his hand. He looked up and saw Eddie. Eddie was holding his hand. He did not need to do that, but he did not care; all Eddie wanted was to make sure Buck knew he was not alone. He had Eddie, the 118, Christopher, and his daughters.

Buck’s mind blocked out the conversation Bobby was having with the bomber; his only thoughts were about how Eddie was holding his hand. Even as the civilians helped lift the firetruck off of him, 

Eddie still held his hand. When he was placed on the gurney, Eddie still held his hand. On the way to the hospital, Eddie still held his hand. The only time Eddie let go of Buck was when he was rushed into emergency surgery. He wished he could have held his hand during that, too.

As Eddie sat in the waiting room, he immediately thought of Buck’s daughters. Who on Earth was going to look after them? He knew that Maddie would watch them sometimes, but she still had to go to work. He pulled out his phone and dialed her number.

“Hey, Maddie.”

“Eddie, are you okay? Where is Buck?”

“He is in surgery now. I am fine, are you okay?”

“I’m watching the girls right now; they do not know what happened, and I don’t know what to tell them.”

“Bring them here. They may not be able to visit him right away, but they should know what happened.” The phone call ends right there. He placed his face in his palms. These girls are so young, and they have been through so much already. They were braver than he ever was, and he envied them for that. He knew Buck would be okay, that the surgery would go smoothly, but a part of him was scared. Who would look after his girls? Eddie would love to do it, but he was already co-parenting Chris with Shannon, so raising four kids is too much for him to handle. Just for now, at least.

His thoughts are interrupted as Maddie barges through the door. 

In her arms is Marwa, and following behind her are Safiyya and Aqsa. He took Marwa from Maddie’s hands to give her time to calm down. He could not imagine her pain. He put himself in her shoes; he did not know what he would do if it were Sophia or Adriana in Buck’s place. Similar to Maddie, he also practically raised his younger siblings. Shielding them from their parents' constant criticism and negativity. That is why he grew up too fast and ended up being a dad at 19. He made a lot of impulsive decisions when he was younger that he regrets a lot. His main focus now is being there for his son and Shannon. Even though they are divorced, they still love each other and made a promise to always stay friends.

“Eddie Uncle, kya hoa ?” Aqsa asked, her brown eyes staring into his. At this moment, Eddie was glad he had picked up some Urdu from Buck.

“Your dad was in an accident, but he is okay, he is in surgery, and when he is done, you can see him,” Eddie responded. He tried to make it easy, but also not scary for a five-year-old to understand. He looked over at Safiyya and could see tears forming in her eyes, but she kept a stern look. He and every other eldest sibling could understand that look. It was the look of wanting to protect your younger siblings from everything.

“How about you and Marwa go with Maddie Auntie, and go look at the coloring pages?” Eddie told Aqsa as he handed the infant back to Maddie. Aqsa nodded immediately and started dragging Maddie to the kids' corner.

“Hey, tell me what is wrong, you can tell me anything you know,” Eddie told Safiyya. He guided her to the chairs so he could easily talk to her. For the first few moments, it is silence, then she finally spoke.

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“I saw what happened to Baba on the news, I saw Maddie Auntie watch it.”

“It is okay to cry, you can cry in front of me.”

“I do not want to cry in front of Aqsa.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want her to get scared; she gets scared a lot.”

“I understand, I also have two younger sisters, and I do not want them to get scared,” Eddie told her. He could see her rubbing the tears away. Safiyya started feeling a little better after Eddie’s words of encouragement. They had a long, kid-friendly conversation about being the eldest sibling.

“You mean a lot to your dad; you were his first baby,” Eddie told her as he pulled her in for a side hug.

“I’m not a baby,” she laughed.

“Oh, but to your dad, you still are, Chris is eight and he is still my baby,” Eddie responded. Safiyya laughed back. Soon, all three Buckley daughters fell asleep. Marwa in Maddie’s arms, while Safiyya and Aqsa leaned on Eddie’s shoulders.

“Evan Buckley just woke up from surgery; he is ready for visitors,” a nurse said. Safiyya woke up right away while Aqsa was still silently sleeping. Eddie looked at Maddie, who just nodded in response.

He picked up Aqsa and led both her and Safiyya into Buck’s hospital room. Buck smiled as the three of them walked in. Safiyya broke down in tears at the sight of her dad in the hospital room. Buck gestured for her to come closer. As she did, he lifted her and placed her next to him in the bed. He wiped her tears away and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

“It’s okay, I am okay,” Buck reassured her, stroking her hair. Safiyya held it in for so long, it is understandable that she finally broke. Eddie turned around so that Buck and Safiyya could have a silent conversation together.

After a while, he felt Aqsa stir in her sleep. She looked over her shoulder and saw Buck and squealed with joy. Buck smiled and held out his arms for her. Eddie gently placed the five-year-old in her father's arms.

“How is my bunny doing?” Buck asked her, kissing the top of her head.

“Maddie Auntie showed me a way to have good dreams.”

“Did she now?” Aqsa nodded.

“Yeah, and I did not have a nightmare, Baba,” Aqsa said, throwing her hands in the air.

Eddie smiled as he saw the three of them cuddled in bed. It was getting late now, and Buck wanted them safe in a bed. Eddie offered to take Safiyya and Aqsa, while Maddie would take Marwa since she was the only one who had a crib in her house.

“Okay, gurias, you are going to stay at Eddie’s house for a few days, until I get back home,” Buck told them.

“I don’t want to leave you,” Saffiya said, gripping onto his hospital gown.

“You are not leaving me, and I am not leaving you. I will be back in a few days, the doctors said I need to rest,” Buck reassured her. He did not want to admit that he wanted the two of them to stay with him for the night, but he knew it was for the best. Reluctantly, the two sisters left their father's embrace and held onto Eddie’s hand.

Eddie led the two girls into his car, where they fell asleep right away. As they got home, he picked them both up and placed them in his room. He then settled himself on his couch and passed out right away.

Eddie would do anything for the Buckley daughters; he would do everything for Buck. He took out his phone and ordered a crib; he wanted Marwa to be able to stay with him as well. He looked at the extra room he had in his house. He could use that as a guest room for the girls to stay in. It was spacious and had enough room for them to play and do schoolwork.

Eddie did not sleep that night. He wanted his house to be a second home for the Buckley family, and he spent the entire night doing just that.

Terminology 

kya hoa - What Happened.

I do not know about other cultures but in mine we refer to our parents friends and auntie or uncle, so we would say their name first and then Uncle or Auntie after.

Chapter Text

Buck felt like a failure. He believed that he had failed Zayna, breaking the last promise he had ever made to her. He believed that he had failed his three daughters. 

Right after Marwa was born, both Buck and Zayna discussed who would be the legal guardians of the Buckley daughters if something were to ever happen to them.

5 months ago

“I would choose my siblings, but they all moved back to Pakistan, and I feel like that would be too much for them.” Zayna placed her face in her hands. Buck sat right next to her, gently removing her hands from her face.

“We will figure this out, I promise you,” he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Even though Maddie adored her nieces, she just was not ready to look after three kids, and neither of them trusted Doug, who never came to see the girls. Every time Maddie would babysit, Doug would leave like the asshole he was.

“I just don’t know, they mean so much to me, what if something were to happen to me, then you would be all alone,” Zayna cried out. Buck hated seeing her cry. He gently cupped her face, wiping her tears away.

“Don’t say that, that will never happen, and I won’t be alone, I will have the girls and the 118,” he reassured her. He wiped all the remaining tears from her face. Zayna was a bit pessimistic, so her mind would always go to the worst-case scenario. She told Buck it would make her more prepared. They never decided who would look after the girls, and that was something Buck would regret forever.

Present Day

Here he was lying on his bed with a broken leg. He knew the firetruck bombing was not his fault, but a part of him still felt like there was something he could have done. It put him in so much pain that he could not properly look after his girls. That is, until Eddie offered to look after them while Buck focused on healing.

“You don’t have to do that, Eddie. I can look after them,” Buck told Eddie as he helped his daughters pack their bags.

“I know you can, but you need help. I will pick them up after school, even Carla can, on days you are exhausted, they can stay the night at my place, let me help you,” Eddie responded. Buck's eyes filled with tears; he could not have asked for a better friend. He pulled him into a hug.

“Thank you, I just don't want to break them,” he sobbed into Eddie’s shoulders.

“You won’t, Buck, you won’t.”

They spent the remainder of the day packing overnight bags for the girls. They were going to spend tonight with Eddie, so Buck could focus on recovering while creating a plan on how he could raise his girls at the same time.

“You girls be on your best behavior for Eddie,” Buck told them. The four of them were all cuddled together on his king-sized bed. Enjoying their last moments together before they leave for the night.

“If you want to call me, let Eddie know; he has my number, so everything will be fine, I promise, and I never break my promises.” Safiyya and Aqsa nodded, while Marwa just stared blankly at him with her dark brown eyes. He gave each of them a kiss on the forehead before sending them off to Eddie.

“I will text you updates all the time.”

“Thank you again, Eddie.”

“No worries, Buck.”

The car ride to the Diaz house was filled with emotions. Marwa just sat there staring at the roof of the car. Aqsa would talk about the fun things she wanted to do with Chris, and Safiyya was just silent. Eddie knew that she was just trying to stay strong for her sisters. He knew how much Aqsa idolized Safiyya. He also knew how much they loved each other.

“Safiyya, what would you like to do tomorrow? I have the day off,” Eddie asked her.

“I don’t know,” she responded quietly. Eddie’s heart shattered. He might not have known Safiyya for a long time, but he knew that she was never the quiet type.

“Do you like the zoo?” He asked her, and he could see her eyes light up instantly.

“I take that as a yes?” She nodded quickly.

“Our mama used to take Aqsa and me to see the lions first,” she said while smiling at Aqsa’s rambling.

“The zoo it is then.”

The ride after that was filled with complete silence. All three Buckley girls were fast asleep, and Eddie felt like he could scream at the top of his lungs, and they would still manage to sleep through it.

The Diaz house was quieter. The only sounds came from the hum of the refrigerator and the breeze from the AC. Eddie collapsed on his bed, exhausted from the day he had just had. His thoughts were interrupted by a small knock on his door.

“Come in.”

“Daddy?” a familiar voice asked.

“Chris, what is it? What happened?” Eddie asked, picking his son up and placing him on his bed. Chris shook his head, and Eddie understood that he was not ready to talk about it.

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” Eddie asked. Chris nodded and rested his head against the pillow. Eddie placed a small kiss on his forehead.

“Goodnight, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

He adored his son so much, he was his everything. Eddie did not know who he would be if it weren't for Shannon or Chris. Two of the most important people in his life; however, he started wondering what it would be like if Buck were never in it. Safiyya was one of the first friends Chris had ever made, and he would talk nonstop about her. He thought about what it would be like if he and Shannon stayed in Texas. Would he ever have a friendship like the one he shared with Buck? These thoughts flooded his mind until he finally drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

The Diaz house was a different kind of quiet. It wasn't the type of quiet where you feel at peace; it was the type of quiet where you couldn't sleep at night because you felt like your surroundings were haunting you, and Eddie knew why that was. For the past week, the Buckley daughters would go back and forth between his and their father's house. After the firetruck incident, Eddie offered to take the girls for a couple of days so Buck could recover. 

The table was not filled with laughter like it usually was. Safiyya and Chris did not engage in conversation. Aqsa refused to speak out loud; if she wanted something, she would whisper it to her sister. Even Marwa could sense the tension in the room and started bawling. While Eddie tried to calm the infant down, he noticed Aqsa silently leaving the table. She did not eat a bite of her food. She hasn't eaten much since the incident, even after Safiyya tried to convince her. Eddie called Buck after the first time she refused to eat. He told her that Aqsa practically worships the ground Safiyya walked on. If she felt that Safiyya was upset, she would act the same way so she would not feel alone. This broke his heart; it reminded him of his childhood in Texas. He remembered being annoyed at the fact that his sisters would copy everything he did. Years later, he grew to appreciate it; he would do it again in a heartbeat, but right now, his fan focus was on his son and the Buckley daughters. He went to their room and opened the door. When he entered the room, all he saw was darkness. What was once filled with joy, now filled with despair. He hesitantly walked into the room where he saw the two girls silently reading to themselves. He didn't want to interrupt them, but he knew this was a conversation they needed to have.

“Gurias, can I come in?” Eddie asked, after hanging around Buck a lot, Eddie picked up on some Urdu, and Buck picked up on some Spanish. The two of them would find themselves having full conversations in those languages.

“You already are inside,” Aqsa said in a sassy tone.

“ Chup kur , Aqsa,” Safiyya said in response to her sister’s sass.

“Hey, hey, none of that, please,” Eddie said, trying to mediate the situation. It pained him to see his best friend's daughters acting this way. 

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded, looking into their brown eyes.

“Baba,” was the only word Aqsa muttered.

“Oh, you’re scared about your dad.” The two girls simply nodded.

“It is okay to be scared, but you girls need to tell me, so I can help you.” he gently held their hands.

“He used to take us to the zoo on Sundays,” Aqsa added. Safiyya responded by lightly smacking her shoulder.

“Oh, you want to go to the zoo?” Aqsa nodded her head quickly; in contrast, Safiyya did a slight nod.

“Then we will go to the zoo,” he responded, 

“And you are going to eat something,” he quickly added on while ruffling Aqsa’s hair. For the first time this week, Eddie finally saw the two of them smile. Even Marwa let out a soft giggle.

The five of them found themselves at the L.A zoo. It was a hot summer day, and Eddie had to practically chase Aqsa around the house to put some sunscreen on her. Buck was right when he told them that being a firefighter had its perks when it came to raising kids.

“Okay, what do you guys want to see first?” Eddie asked the bubbling crowd of kids.

“The lions,” Chris, Safiyya, and Aqsa said in unison.

“Do you want to see the lions?” Eddie asked Marwa who was in his arms. The infant only responded with a blank expression, and then stuck her tongue out. Eddie laughed and led the kids to the lion.

The zoo trip was fun and exhausting. Having to look after four kids was exhausting. When he saw the kids getting tired, he took them to a room where they could all sit down and rest. Marwa fell asleep an hour into the trip while the other three looked like they had a sugar rush. He was so grateful that their energy dwindled a little while. During their break, Eddie remained observant of their behaviors. He could see Safiyys reading a pamphlet a zookeeper gave her, while Chris was sharing numerous animal facts with Aqsa. He could see so much of Buck in his daughters. While they looked more like their mother, their personalities truly showed that they were Buck’s daughters.

The zoo trip ended with laughter, which was a huge difference compared to the energy that surrounded him earlier that morning. 

“What’s for dinner, Eddie Uncle?” Safiyya asked as they all entered his house.

“It is a surprise, go wash your hands, read a book, I will call you down when dinner is ready.” Eddie placed Marwa in a small playpen in the living room, while the other three kids went to their rooms to pass the time. 

The aroma of cheese, pasta, and other spices filled the air. With one small bite, Eddie knew that he had created the perfect dinner. He headed up to Chris’s room, where he saw the three of them playing a board game.

“Dinner is ready,” he told them. They all followed him to the kitchen, and sitting on the table was Bobby Nash’s famous lasagna.

“How did you learn to cook good,” Chris told Eddie, stuffing his face more. Eddie grasped his chest in mock offence.

“I happen to believe that I have always been a good cook.”

“Sure. Whatever you say.”

“Well, since you want to know, I thought myself, I asked Bobby for the recipe, and now I can cook,” Eddie responded, giving himself another plate of lasagna.

“Too bad Marwa can’t have this,” Aqsa giggled. Again, Marwa responded with a blank expression before sticking her tongue out again. They ended the night watching Ratatouille and playing Candy Land.

This is exactly what Eddie wanted, well, almost. Something was missing, and he did not know what it was.

Chapter Text

Eddie heard his phone ring. It was Buck. Just as he answered, Buck hung up. He knew something was wrong.

Eddie was surprised that he didn’t get a speeding ticket from the way he was driving to Buck’s house. Shortly after he dropped the kids at Shannon’s place for a playdate and Marwa at her daycare, he got that harrowing call from Buck, if you could even call it a call.

Buck hasn’t been himself lately. He never cracked a joke at dinner, paid no attention to family game night, and refused to look at Eddie, only muttering a quick "thank you" when he would drop the girls back home for the week.

Eddie immediately arrived at Buck’s apartment and opened the door with a spare key that was gifted to him. There, he saw Buck, sitting on the floor, face in his hands, refusing to acknowledge the world around him. Eddie sat next to him on the floor, and the two of them sat there in silence for 1o minutes. All of a sudden, he hears a muffled voice.

“I am a fuck up.”

“What?”

“Eddie, I am a fuck up,” Buck said again, removing his face from his hand. For the first time that day, Eddie finally saw Buck’s face. He saw how the tears stained his cheeks, and he just wanted to brush them away with his hand, but something in him stopped that from happening. Instead, he gently placed his hand on his friend's shoulder to offer silent support.

“What makes you think that?” Eddie asked, rubbing his shoulders.

“I’m stuck at home, while you, Hen, Chimney, and Cap are putting yourselves out there, I am letting you guys down, I am letting my girls down,” Buck held back a sob.

“You are not letting us down, you are not letting your girls down. Aqsa talks nonstop about you,” Eddie responded, trying to mediate the situation.

“I am a firefighter, Eddie. Before Zayna, it was all I ever had; now I am losing that.”

“No, you are not, you are still a firefighter, Buck. You may not be with us on calls physically, but we all carry a piece of you with us, all the time,” Eddie told him. That earned him a quick smile from Buck, but then the atmosphere was filled with sorrow once again.

“Is there something else?” Eddie asked, and Buck remained silent.

“Listen, I can’t make you tell me anything, but for me to properly help you, it would help if I knew what was bothering you,” Eddie told him. He gently held Buck’s hand.

“What if I didn’t make it?” Eddie felt his heart drop to his stomach. He was there when the firetruck first collapsed on Buck’s leg; he was there holding his hand as everyone worked together to lift it. He was there after the surgery, holding onto Buck’s daughters.

“Don’t say that.”

“I can’t, though. It is all I have been thinking about these past two months,” Buck started, shaking his head, struggling to hold back his tears.

“These past few months have been hell for me; it has been hell for my girls. They lost their mother, and they could’ve lost their father,” he continued as the tears fell down his face. Eddie could only respond with silence, but he urged Buck to continue.

“I am a selfish parent, I haven't even written in my will about where they should go if something were to happen to Zayna and me.”

“If something did happen to me, I can’t even imagine it.”

“What if they grew up to forget me? Safiyya and Aqsa would have some memories with me, but Marwa, oh, she won’t remember anything about her mother or father,” Buck sobbed again. Eddie didn’t know what to say to that. He tried to put himself in Buck’s shoes. He tried to imagine how Chris would feel if he found out that he was injured at work.

“I can only imagine how you feel, but listen. Your girls will always have you, no matter what, and there is always room to make more memories,” Eddie reassured Buck. He responded by laying his head on Eddie’s shoulders and nodding gently.

They spent the rest of the day just talking. Talking about their kids, their past, and their future.

“Eddie.”

“Yeah, Buck?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For being so distant, I have no excuse, especially after all that you have done for me,” Buck sighed, struggling to maintain eye contact with Eddie.

“I forgive you, I really do,” Eddie responded, flashing his signature smile. Eddie looked at his phone and then back at Buck.

“Let’s go pick up Marwa from daycare,” Eddie told him. The two got in Eddie’s car and drove to the daycare where Marwa stayed.

“How is my princess doing?” Buck said as Eddie came out carrying a sleeping infant. Marwa instantly got fussy and reached out for her dad. Buck took his daughter from Eddie’s hands and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Are you tired, mehri jaan ?” Buck asked, and  Marwa instantly fell asleep to her dad's whispers. Eddie’s heart melted at the sight; it reminded him of Chris and Shannon. He deeply regretted missing the early years of Chris’s life and made a promise to be there for him and Shannon.

As soon as they arrived back at Buck’s place, Eddie placed Marwa in her crib and sat down next to Buck on the couch.

“Stay the night,” Buck said abruptly.

“Pardon?”

“Yeah, stay the night, I have a guest room for you,” Buck responded. “After you get the girls from Shannon, all of us could have a sleepover.”

“That would be nice,” Eddie said.

“Perfect, a sleepover it is.” As Eddie went to pick the girls up, Buck went into full party planning mode. One thing to know about Evan Buckley is that no one plans a better party than him. His daughters are known for having the best birthday parties at their school, and so far, no one has beaten him at it. He pulled out a bunch of DVDS and set up all their favorite snacks at the table. This party may not be as extravagant as his usual parties, but it was better because it was just him and the people he cared about.

“Baba!” The two sisters screamed in unison. They both jumped on the couch to give their dad the biggest hug in the whole world.

“Did you two have fun?”

“Yeah, we did, Shannon auntie taught us how to take photos with her camera,” Safiyya said. In the meantime, Aqsa’s jaw dropped at the sight of all the snacks on the coffee table.

It is safe to say that this Buckley-Diaz slumber party was a success.

Chapter Text

Aqsa is going to turn six years old next week. For the past month and a half, Buck has been in party planning mode. Everyone knew it was best to avoid Buck when he was in the middle of party planning due to how seriously he takes it.

“Listen, Buck, it’s just a party, Aqsa isn’t even going to remember it in 10 years,” Chimney told Buck when they arrived at the station.

“It’s Aqsa’s first birthday without her mother. I want it to be a happy memory for her,” Buck replied. He wasn’t in the mood for this right now. Chimney placed his hand on Buck’s shoulder to offer some reassurance and had an apologetic look on his face.

“So what does Aqsa want to do for her birthday?” Hen asked as she was setting the table.

“Taylor Swift, I already made her birthday playlist, and yeah, it’s only Taylor Swift,” Buck grinned. While the Buckley family members all had different personalities, the one thing they all had in common was their love for Taylor Swift. Even Marwa would bob her head up and down whenever one of her songs played.

“However, instead of buying cake, she wants to bake one from scratch with me,” he added. He had a bigger smile on his face now. The fact that his daughter wanted to spend one-on-one time with him made his heart fill with joy, but it also concerned him. Aqsa started developing anxiety from being away from her dad. She would wait outside the bathroom door when he was taking a shower or simply using the bathroom. She would follow him around the house, refusing to leave his side. She even slept in his room. He did not know what had happened. Aqsa was usually independent, but now the idea of being left alone for five seconds would cause her to start crying. School drop-offs were just as hard, if not more. She would refuse to let go of Buck’s leg and only let go when Safiyya had to practically drag her into the classroom. Buck sobbed on his way to work that day.

When he got home from his shift, he decided he was going to confront the situation head-on. The moment he opened the door, a tear-stricken Aqsa crashed right into him. He lifted her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He gently wiped her tears away and held her close.

“I missed you, Baba,” Aqsa whispered into her father's ear.

“I missed you, too,” Buck whispered back. He gently stroked her hair. He wanted to help her, but realized he had no idea how to do it. He walked to the couch and placed Aqsa on his lap. They sat there in silence before he finally spoke.

“Guria, can we talk?” Aqsa nodded in response, cuddling closer to her dad. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

“Baba noticed that you don’t seem happy when I go to work. Can you tell me why?” Buck practically begged her to answer. Aqsa stayed silent. While he was slightly upset, he understood why.

“Mama.”

“Don’t go like Mama,” she said. Buck could hear his heart shattering. That is why she was scared.

“I promise you, I am not going anywhere,” Buck kissed her head. They continued holding each other in silence. It was calming, and as much as Buck wanted to stay like this for a while, he realized it was Aqsa’s bedtime.

“Do you think you can sleep in your room tonight?” Aqsa shook her head,

“How about I stay with you in your room until you fall asleep?” Buck offered, and Aqsa thought about and nodded. 

As Buck placed Aqsa in her bed, he stayed next to her, whispering soft words to calm her nerves. When he noticed her dozing off, he kissed her forehead, tucked her in once again, and whispered a quick “I love you” before leaving the bedroom, leaving the door slightly open. Buck entered his room and got out the will. He needed to finalize it before it was too late. He looked at the photo on the side table, the last family photo they ever took with Zayna, and the photo next to it was a photo of him, the girls, Eddie, and Chris.

In the event of the passing of I Evan Buckley, Safiyya, Aqsa, and Marwa Buckley would go under the custody of Eddie Diaz or Shannon Diaz.

For the first time since Zayna’s death, Buck finally had a good night's sleep.

                                                      —

“How did it go with Aqsa last night?” Eddie asked Buck. The two of them were inside Party City doing some last-minute shopping for Aqsa’s birthday party.

“It went pretty well. She slept in her own room,” Buck replied. He was also deciding between the purple table covers and the pink ones.

“That’s perfect, also get the pink ones.” Buck grabbed the pink table covers and placed them in the cart.

“I think that’s everything,” Eddie said, checking the list he wrote.

“I still can't believe you wrote a list for birthday shopping,” Buck laughed. Eddie loved that laugh.

“I am always prepared for everything. Whenever Chris has a new teacher, I send a long email detailing everything about his CP,” Eddie responded with a smile. That is one thing Buck admired about Eddie: his love for his son, his determination to be better. Eddie wanted to fix the years he missed out, and from what Chris would tell Buck, he was doing a great job.

“Do you think you can play that Taylor Swift playlist you made for Aqsa’s birthday? I want to study before the party,” Eddie asked Buck as they got into the car. Buck smiled and pressed play on the playlist.

Say you'll remember me

Standing in a nice dress

Staring at the sunset, babe

Red lips and rosy cheeks

Say you'll see me again

Those lyrics played over and over again in Buck’s head. Looking at Eddie as he drove the car. The sun is setting, showcasing all its features. His brown eyes were full of love and passion. Buck quickly snapped out of it. Eddie was his friend, his best friend; he did not want to lose him next. It was true; it would only happen in his wildest dreams.

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I've been sleepin' so long in a twenty-year dark night

And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

Taylor Swift was right, daylight was all Buck saw when he was with Eddie. After everything they did for each other, he grew to love him more.

And I can still see it all (In my mind)

All of you, all of me (Intertwined)

I once believed love would be (Black and white)

But it's golden (Golden)

And I can still see it all (In my head)

Back and forth from New York (Sneakin' in your bed)

I once believed love would be (Burnin' red)

But it's golden

Like daylight, like daylight

Like daylight, daylight

At this point, Buck truly thought that Taylor Swift had placed hidden cameras in his house, because how could she truly capture what he felt in that moment? He felt something in that moment, something he only ever felt with Zayna, a feeling he truly couldn’t describe, and it was eating him alive. Eddie turned to look at him, his brown eyes resembling those of a dear, overshadowing his own blue eyes. Buck smiled back. 

Did he notice me staring at him for the past 15 minutes , Buck thought.

I wanna be defined by the things that I love

Not the things I hate

Not the things I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of

Or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night

I, I just think that

You are what you love  

He realized it; it finally came to him. Buck loved Eddie Diaz, but he didn't know how to show it.

Chapter Text

The day of Aqsa’s sixth birthday has finally arrived. Buck woke up extra early to make the living room look exactly like a Taylor Swift concert. He also quietly snuck into Aqsa’s room when she was sleeping to fill it up with different colored balloons and confetti. Even Eddie, Shannon, and Chris came to make this birthday morning a success.

“You guys didn't have to come and help,” Buck told Eddie as they were adding the finishing touches to her bedroom door.

“Buck, I love your girls as if they were my own. Of course, I am going to help decorate your place,” Eddie responded instantly. It was true, both Shannon and Eddie treated Buck’s daughters as if they were their own, and Buck treated Chris as if he were his own son.

They heard the sounds of the now six-year-old waking up and immediately ran to hide. Safiyya hid in the kitchen with Shannon, Marwa, and Chris. Eddie and Buck hid behind the living room couch. Aqsa walked into the transformed living room and looked confused by her surroundings. She was about to call out for her dad, and then everyone jumped out and yelled “SURPRISE”.

Aqsa jumped in shock and then screamed with excitement. She ran to the couch and jumped into Buck’s arms. Buck placed a bunch of kisses all over her face while repeatedly saying “I love you”. 

He placed her back on the ground, and she ran straight to Eddie, crashing into his legs. He also lifted her and spun her around.

“Happy Birthday, Aqsa, so tell me how old are you?” Eddie asked her. 

“I am six years old now,” she responded by holding up three fingers on each hand.

“Wow, you are a big girl now.”

“Like Safi?” Aqsa asked, tilting her head.

“No, not like me, but keep dreaming,” Safiyya responded. Aqsa responded by sticking her tongue out, and Buck gave a warning glare.

“I guess that is where Marwa learned that from,” Eddie laughed and placed a kiss on Aqsa’s forehead. Shannon emerged from the kitchen carrying a happy Marwa. She glanced around the room and stuck her tongue out again.

“I guess I am a good teacher,” Aqsa said. 

“Let’s teach her how to talk instead,” Buck responded. Marwa locked eyes with Buck and reached out towards him with her little hands. Buck took Marwa from Shannon and gave her a bunch of small kisses on the forehead.

“Do you want to speak for Aqsa’s birthday? Come on, say Dada, Dada,” Buck tried to coax the words out of her. He refused to do the high-pitched voice. He believed that it would help if he spoke to her in a normal tone. Marwa just babbled and drooled in response. Buck rolled his eyes in affection and wiped her mouth clean.

“Well, there is always tomorrow,” he sighed. Marwa babbled and reached for his face.

“So what is my birthday breakfast?” Aqsa asked, running around in circles. Chris walked up to her and held her hands. He twirled her around as the soft hums of Taylor Swift started playing in the background.

“We made you rainbow pancakes today,” he told her, still dancing with her. Aqsa’s eyes widen, and she starts jumping up and down, still holding Chris’s hands.

“Can I eat the one you made, Chris, please, please?” Aqsa asked.

“Of course, Aqsa, in fact, I think mine is the best,” Chris responded. He walked her to the kitchen, where the rest of the family followed them as well.

It is safe to say that the morning of Aqsa’s birthday was a success.

“Guria, I have another surprise for you,” Buck whispered in her ear. Aqsa gently grabbed Buck’s face and placed her forehead on his.

“What is the surprise, Baba?’

“Come with me.” He lifted her and took her to his bedroom. He placed her on the bed and used her hands to cover her eyes.

“No peeking, Aqsa.” She quickly nodded and dangled her feet off the bed. Buck walked out of the closet and told Aqsa that she could open her eyes. As she did, she screamed in delight. Buck had bought her a new dress for her birthday. It had multiple shades of green, and he added a matching pair of shoes along with a gold locket. Aqsa started jumping up and down on the bed, squealing. Buck quickly caught her and turned her upside down.

“So does my little kangaroo like her new gift?” Aqsa nodded.

“Can I wear it now?” Buck nodded and gave her the privacy she needed to change. He noticed her struggling and asked if she needed help. She nodded, and Buck went on to fix the dress mishap. As soon as the dress and shoes were on, he took her to his bathroom and sat her on the counter. He pulled out her hairbrush that was, you guessed it, green as well.

“Okay, how do you want your hair to be done today?” He asked her. He started brushing her hair to smooth out the tangles.

“BRAIDS!” she yelled, almost falling off the counter in excitement. Buck laughed and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

“To braids coming right up.” He gently braided her hair and tied it up with matching green ribbons. 

“You look so beautiful.” Aqsa smiled and started playing with her braids. Buck helped her off the counter and led her to the living room, so she could show everyone her new dress and shoes.

“You look like a blade of grass,” Safiyya joked around. Aqsa stuck her tongue out in response.

“Wait, let me take some photos, Aqsa, you look gorgeous,” Shannon said, setting up her camera.

“Can I help?” Safiyya asked, walking next to Shannon.

“Of course you can, but this camera is a bit heavy, so let me help you hold it,” Shannon rescinded. Safiyya nodded in response. Ever since the Buckley daughters started hanging out with Shannon, she has developed an interest in photography. She would spend her time listening to Shannon going into details about what she has photographed. She was intrigued to learn that she won a national photography contest when she was 17. Buck adored this and was so grateful that Shannon had entered their lives.

Shannon and Safiyya snapped a bunch of photos of Aqsa, and Shannon promised Safiyya that she would teach her how to professionally edit these photos.

The day was filled with laughter and joy. Both the Buckleys and Diazes had a great time together. They felt their bond grow stronger.

Aqsa’s day was filled with many more surprises. When they got home from the pier, the rest of the 118 showed up to surprise her with even more gifts.

Buck got her the American Girl doll that he promised. It was Samantha Parkington. When they were window shopping at the store, he noticed how her eyes would always stray to the items that belonged to Samantha.

Eddie got her new shoes and jersey for T-ball. The moment he found out that she enjoyed softball, he convinced Buck to let her join a local T-ball team in the area. She was a natural, and Chris even said she could go professional someday.

Shannon got Aqsa a toy camera and a set of fake makeup. She noticed that whenever the girls would come to her house, Aqsa would always ask Shannon about her makeup. Aqsa applied the makeup right away and tried applying some on Buck as well.

Chris and Safiyya worked together to make her a Taylor Swift pop-up book. Both of them are amazing at art and writing, so they joined forces to make her a special book.

Bobby got her a kids' baking and cooking book and told Buck and Eddie that it is never too early to create a Michelin-level chef. He joked with Asqa, saying he hopes that she and Buck cook him a 5-star birthday dinner.

Hen bought her a bunch of stuffed animals. She immediately thanked Hen and dragged her to her room to show her the mini zoo she would make with the gifts. She asked Hen to help her make the zoo, to which she responded with an exaggerated “Of Course”.

Finally, Chiney bought her a bunch of children's books on women in sports and other male-dominated fields.. Such as firefighting, paramedics, soccer, and other sports. She pointed to each woman and told Chimney,

“That is going to be me.”

“You can do anything you set your mind to,” he responded.

The day turned into night, and everybody said their goodbyes. Bobby stayed behind to help them clean up and put Marwa to bed. Buck noticed Aqsa was dozing off and carried her to bed. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and went to check in on Safiyya. Safiyya was snoring loudly, and he placed a kiss on her forehead as well. Finally, he made his way to Marwa’s nursery, where he saw Bobby softly whispering her to sleep. They made eye contact, Bobby nodded, and handed Marwa to Buck and hugged them goodnight. Before he left, he checked in on Aqsa and Safiyya. He placed kisses on their foreheads before heading home to Athena, May, and Harry.

Buck was not the same guy he was in Pennsylvania. He was alone then; now he has a bigger family, something he thought he would never have the chance to get.

Chapter Text

Buck started feeling sick again, so Eddie decided to take the girls to school. He first dropped Marwa off at daycare, then he dropped the rest of the kids off in front of the school.

“What type of day are we going to have today?”

“A wonderful day,” Aqsa responded.

“Exactly, a wonderful day, so make sure you’re on your best behavior,” Eddie told her. Aqsa nodded and gave Eddie a kiss on his cheek. The bell rang, and she ran to her classroom while laughing with her friends. Eddie’s heart swelled with affection, and he walked back to his truck to go home and take care of his Buck.

“How did the school drop-off go? Did Aqsa cry?” Buck asked the moment Eddie arrived home. He didn’t even give Eddie time to breathe. They have always dropped the kids off at school together. It became a little tradition for them. Especially since Aqsa still has separation anxiety and sobs every time she is away from Buck.

“She did really well today, Buck, not a single tear,” Eddie leaned down and kissed his forehead. Buck leaned into his touch and let out a sigh of relief.

“That’s good, I just hate seeing her like this; it breaks my heart to hear her sob.” Eddie sat down on the couch, and Buck curled into his side, seeking some warmth.

“She is getting better, drop-offs are getting better.”

“That's the thing, some days the drop-offs are easy, but yesterday she would let go of my leg, Safiyya had to get her off of me, it is like an emotional rollercoaster,” Buck said. He started to tear up. He wanted his baby girl to be happy and healthy, but he had no idea what to do.

“Maybe we should try therapy for her,” Eddie suggested.

“Therapy?”

“Yes, therapy, especially play therapy, I did it with Chris, and it helped me understand his problems more, and it made us closer than ever,” Eddie could tell Buck was getting overwhelmed, so he decided to end the conversation now.

“Okay, how about you take a nap and I make you some soup?”

“No offense, but your cooking is the last thing I want to eat when I am sick,” Buck joked.

“Hey, I happened to take more lessons from Bobby, so you're possibly looking at a future Gordon Ramsay here”.

“Gordon Ramsay, if he were from Amazon”.

“Trust me on this, okay, I will even use Zayna’s recipe,” Eddie told him. That made Buck happy. Zayna always had the best recipes. Buck nodded and started to doze off and fall asleep.

A few hours later, he was awoken to the aroma of chicken corn soup; it smelled just the way Zayna used to make it. Buck tried to get up and go to the kitchen, but he was too sick to even sit up straight. He groaned and let his head drop back on the couch.

Eddie walked back to the living room with a fresh bowl of hot soup. He sat down on the couch next to Buck and held up the spoon.

“Eddie, I am a grown ass man,” Buck rolled his eyes, trying to sit up straight.

“Well, you are also sick, so as your best friend, I am going to take care of you,” Eddie responded gleefully. Buck nodded and let his friend feed him the soup.

The soup was finally finished, so Eddie washed the dishes and went back to the school to pick up the kids.

He first went to Chris and Safiyya’s classroom. He saw them walk out of their classroom, so he went up and hugged them both.

“Okay, let’s go get Aqsa, and then we will pick up Marwa from daycare. The three of them walked up to Aqsa’s class and waited for hr teacher to let them out. They see a bunch of kids walking out of the line, but Aqsa is nowhere to be seen. Eddie assumes that she is in the bathroom, but as each kid gets picked up by their parent, his worry increases. The teacher notices that Aqsa is missing as well and calls the principal over. They started asking different teachers if they had seen her, and they all said the same thing. “Not at all”.

Eddie starts freaking out; he is running all over the school trying to find Aqsa. He looks under tables, inside trash cans, up in the trees. She is nowhere to be found. Safiyya and Chris start crying, and Eddie is trying to calm them down while looking for Aqsa. He calls Buck to let him know what happened, and he can hear his sobs through the phone. He could feel his heart racing; he started to feel lightheaded. 

Then a young woman walks up to the school holding a little girl's hand. It was Aqsa. Eddie immediately ran to her, holding her close. He kissed the top of her head multiple times.

“I am so sorry, I was walking home, and I guess she started following me. I brought her back the moment I noticed,” the woman told Eddie. He nodded and gently held Aqsa.

“I thought I lost you,” Eddie said, looking at her, still cupping her face.

“Why did you do that?” Aqsa shrugged, and he started getting frustrated, but he tried to hide it. He lifted her, despite her protests, and drove all the way home. The moment they walked to the door, they were met with a tear-stricken Buck. He saw Aqsa unharmed and held her in a tight embrace. He placed soft kisses all over her face and head.

“My baby, why did you run away from school?” he asked her, holding her tightly. If he could, he wouldn't let go.

“Mujy nai pata, min ghar jana chahta tha,” she started crying as well.

“Eddie was going to take you home; he was going to bring you back to me,” he reassured her, stroking her hair.

“What you did was very bad, you scared me, Eddie, and your siblings,” he said with a stern look on his face. He was angry, but he would not be angry to the point where she would fear him. Aqsa nodded and apologized to everyone.

“We forgive you, carińo, but please never do anything like that again,” Eddie told her, pulling her into his embrace. She nodded and apologized again.

Dinner that night was quiet; it took a while for everyone to calm down. Safiyya was still tearing up at the thought of losing her sister. 

All the kids were asleep, so Buck and Eddie were once again alone.

“What is the name of the play therapist you took Chris to?”

“What?”

“I think I want to put Aqsa in therapy. I need to help her; she ran away from school today to be with me, and it scares me to think about what could have happened,” Buck told Eddie. He started to pace around the living room frantically.

“I will give you all the details tomorrow. Right now, you need to rest; you are still sick.” Eddie sat Buck down on the couch. He gently lifted up Buck’s face to see tears falling down his cheeks.

“I could’ve lost her today,” he sobbed into Eddie’s shoulder.

“I know, I know, but she came home, she is safe, and you were able to hug her tonight. Aqsa is so lucky to have you in her life,” Edde rubbed small circles on Buck’s back. Buck nodded, but still stayed close to Eddie. It was currently the only source of comfort he had left. They made eye contact and stayed like that for a while. Buck wondered what it would be like to say “I love you” to him, not in a friendship way, but in the I want to live the rest of my life with you way.

Their staring contest was interrupted by the soft sound of Taylor Swift being played on the radio.

“Did that radio just turn on by itself?” Eddie asked, and he got a little freaked out.

“Yeah, it does that sometimes,” Buck laughed. 

“Come on, let's go to bed.” As they went to bed, they fell asleep to the soothing lyrics.

This night is sparkling, don’t let it go.

I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home.e

I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew.

I was enchanted to meet you

Mujy nai pata - I don't know

min ghar jana chahta tha - I wanted to go home