Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Clover covers her ears to shut out the sound. It’s so damn loud. It feels like her head is about to explode, the pain is unbearable. She thinks she’s screaming, but she’s not sure.

The next time she opens her eyes, the headache is gone. Clover flinches when a hand is placed on her shoulder.

“Hey, hey… It’s just me.” Juliet's soft tone makes her exhale from relief.

She looks up at the others. 

Sawyer, Jin, Nova, Miles, Dan, Juliet and her. 

Stuck on this god forsaken island. How many days have they done this now? Jumped through time and space, along with the painful flashes? 

“Is it… Over?” Clover asks hoarsely.

“My headache is gone.” Juliet says.

“My nose isn’t bleeding.” Miles sounds relieved too.

Clover raises her hand to touch her nose. No nosebleeds. Finally. 

They all turn to look at Dan, as if searching for answers. But he is far away, despite sitting next to them. His shirt is covered in blood and he has a bitter expression on his face. He’s still shaken after what happened to Charlotte. 

Clover would feel sorry for him, if she wasn’t so busy feeling sorry for herself. 

She was so, so close to leaving this place. Now, she doubts she’ll ever see home again. Will she ever be back in their own timeline? It all feels like a fever dream. This shouldn’t be happening. 

“This was the last one.” Dan eventually says. 

“You sure?” Sawyer glares at him skeptically and gets a nod in confirmation.

“Locke did it.” 

They almost sigh from relief, all of them. But the question remains…

“Where- When are we?” Nova speaks up, wording the questions on everyone's lips. 

How did all of this fucking chaos start? They were all so close to getting rescued, before shit went south. 

She looks at the group of people she’s stuck with. All of them failed in some way. All of them fucked this up. But how?

Chapter Text

Three days earlier.

They’re getting rescued. And for real this time. 

The ship is not far from the island. The ship that will take them all far away from his chaos. 

But first - even more chaos. 

Nova moves through the jungle. She doesn’t stop one second to catch her breath or attempt to localize herself. The gun feels unfamiliar against her sweaty palm. 

Not far behind her is Juliet and Clover. 

“Nova, do you even know where you’re going?” Juliet calls. 

“No.” But she doesn’t stop moving.

“Can you walk slower? I’d rather not injure myself!” Clover complains. 

“Do you do anything but complain?”

Clover scoffs.

“If you must know, yes. I just happen to voice my opinion!”

“Tell us about the premonition again.” Juliet says. Nova sighs and pulls the sweaty bangs from her face. She hates this, so damn much. Every night is the same. Either conversations with the dead, or warnings on what's to come. 

Tonight's premonition had her waking up drenched in sweat. A helicopter full of mercenaries, out for blood. 

John Locke was right - as always - and they’re all in danger. Sawyer was by her side quickly. When she told him about the dream, his face went pale. By now, he’s learned that Nova's dreams are correct - at least 99% of the time. Only some minutes later, a helicopter flew by, dropping a backpack by the beach. Inside it was a satellite phone. After a long discussion, Jack and - of course - Kate ran off into the jungle, determined that the satellite would lead to their rescue.

That was hours ago. They’re not back yet. 

So now, here they are. The three of them in search of their missing crew. Nova hates being a leader, yet she’s the one in charge of this little “mission”. All because she had a dream. It sounds fucking ridiculous. 

She repeats the dream again but keeps walking. They have no time to lose. 

“Funny thing is-” Clover starts. She pants for air before continuing, “All of this could have been prevented… If we just got rid of Ben.”

“Excellent observation, Diva.” Nova mutters.

“Will you stop calling me that! I’m-”

“Shut up!” Juliet hisses. Nova turns her head to look at her but that’s when she hears it. A gunshot. Followed by three more. “Duck.” 

She doesn’t have to tell them twice, and they all take cover. It feels like hours pass before Nova hears footsteps approach. She raises her gun, ready for whatever.

“Kate?” Nova sighs in relief. 

Kate approaches them, looking exhausted but otherwise fine. Sayid walks behind her with a frown on his face. 

She explains to them what happened.

Her, Sayid and Ben being held at gunpoint by the mercenary team - aka Widmore's men. The gunfire, and how The Others - of all people - came to their rescue. 

“Ben’s alive?” Clover asks.

“Yea-”

“You guys let him go? Just like that?”

“It was the only way. We’re free to leave now. The helicopter is ours.” 

“Wheres Sawyer?” Nova almost dreads the answer and her eyes flicker the surroundings, desperately searching for him.

“Should be here soon. Don’t worry.” 

Clover walks up to Nova.

“Can I borrow that?”

“What?” Before she can process her words, Clover takes the gun from her hand and runs off. 

“Clover!” Juliet calls out for her.

“I’ll be right back!” 

And before anyone can stop her, she’s gone. Running off in the same direction as Ben went minutes ago. 

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.

One hour later

“You can show yourself now, Jackson.” Benjamin says, with his back still turned away from her hiding spot.

Fucking shit. He knew. He fucking knew. Clover grips the gun tightly as she approaches the two men. Her whole body trembles. 

“Clover… What are you doing here?” John Locke looks like he’s seen a ghost. 

“Isn’t it obvious, John?” Benjamin turns to look at her, meeting her glare with his cold blue eyes. “She’s out for revenge. Like a reckless, stupid child.” 

“Shut up!” She hisses and points the gun straight at him. 

“You’re not gonna do it, Clover.” 

“What the hell are you doing here with him, Locke?” 

“We’re saving the island.”
Clover's bitter laugh echoes in the room. 

“Bullshit. All that man does - is lie and destroy.” 

“Clover. Lower your gun, please.” The calmness in Locke's voice pisses her off further. 

“You damn traitor! You know what this man has done!” Her voice breaks and she swallows the lump in her throat before continuing. “He kidnapped our people. He tortured Nova. He… He’s been manipulating Juliet - for years. And… He killed them all.”

My mother - She wants to say, but can’t get another word out of her. The image of the mass grave is still fresh in her mind. 

“The Dharma Initiative? It was nothing personal.” Ben's voice is dry. 

“You sick fuck.” 

Without thinking of the consequences, she pulls the trigger - tries to, at least. Nothing happens. 

Clover stares down at the empty gun and her body freezes. A wave of anger and shame washes over her. 

“Didn’t know you had that in you.” 

Fuck fuck fuck. Clover sinks down to the cold metal floor.

She just attempted - and failed - to execute Ben. What does that make her? She’s just like him. 

“Clover.” John Locke kneels before her. “Please, just leave.”

She looks up at him with tear-wrenched eyes. She doesn’t bother hiding her emotions. 

“Go back to the others. Quickly. Make sure you get on that ship. You, and Nova.” He is quiet before adding - with what can only be described as guilt in his voice “Tell her I’m sorry.” 

She stands up and glares at Ben one last time, before turning to Locke. 

“She will be so pissed off if you die.” 

He chuckles and puts a hand on her shoulder.

“I know she will. Now go.” 

But before she has the time to, the elevator starts moving. Locke's smile fades and the three of them look towards the hallway which leads down to The Orchid. 

“Change of plans?” She asks dryly.

“Hide.” 

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.

“Nova!” A familiar voice calls.

Sawyer, Hurley and Jack emerge from the jungle and Nova finally lets out the breath she’s been holding for the past hours. She throws herself in his arms and Sawyer's arms snake around her body, holding her close. 

“The helicopter is ready.” Lapidus calls. 

Sawyer smiles at her.

“Is this really happening?” Nova can barely believe it. After 100 days stranded, they’re finally leaving. Going back home. And she’s doing it with him - the love of her life. 

“I told ya I’d get us both of this craphole, didn’t I?”

“Yea. I can recall you telling me so.” She grins at him.

“Juliet?” Jack asks.

“Stayin’ behind, makin’ sure everyone gets on the boat with Dan safely.” Sawyer says while still holding onto her, refusing to let go.

“And… Clover?” Hurley speaks up.

Nova's smile fades. Where the hell is she?

“She went after Ben.” Fucking shit. Is she in danger?

“Guys. We have to leave. Now!” Lapidus' firm voice is a reminder that they can’t waste time. Not now. So they all get on the helicopter. Nova holds her breath as the engine starts. She almost feels dizzy looking down. The ground disappears under them and soon they’re far up in the sky.

“You okay, darlin’?” Sawyer asks. 

Nova turns her head to look at them all. The Oceanic 815 survivors. They’re all safe. All of them are getting rescued. Together. She looks at Sawyer and smiles, and for the first time in weeks she feels at peace. 

“Better than ever.” 

He cups her face, leaning in for a kiss. That’s when the helicopter starts shaking. 

Something is wrong. 

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.

The doors to the elevator opens. Clover holds her breath as heavy steps echoes in the hallways. 

“I know you’re in here, Ben.” A cold voice calls out. 

“Who the fuck is that?” She whispers to Locke next to her.

“That would be one of Keamy - one of Widmore’s people.” Ben sounds monotone as always.

“Did I fucking ask you?” She hisses. 

“You’re not good at making friends, are you?”

The footsteps get closer to the hiding spot. It’s so quiet and Clover can hear her own heartbeat and her attempts of taking slow, quiet breaths. How did she get into this mess? She should have just stayed with the others and get on the helicopter. Have they left already? Oh god. What if they’ve left? She pulls her knees up to her chest, making herself as small as possible. The man outside keeps taunting Ben, telling him to stop hiding like a coward. Ben's face remains expressionless but she can see how he clenches his jaw. 

“But before you take your shot, let me tell you about this.” The mercenary’s voice echoes in the underground room. “This is a heart rate monitor, connected to a radio transmitter…” 

Clover freezes. She glances at Ben and Locke, knowing they share her concern. 

“...If my heart stops beating, it sends a little signal to the 500 pound C-4, that I’ve got handwired…” 

Shit, shit. Fucking shit! 

“...Out there on the freighter!” 

All the people on the ship. They’re all beyond saving. Keamy continues talking but Clover has stopped listening. 

We’re all gonna die. We’re all dead. 

Locke slowly stands up, leaving his hiding spot.

“Don’t fucking dare!” She hisses.

“Trust me.” 

“We all did, and look what it had led us to!” 

He leaves without a word, leaving Clover and Ben hiding alone. She glares at him.

“This is all your fault.”

But Ben doesn’t answer. That’s when she sees the knife in his hand. And before she can do shit, he lunges out of the hiding spot, going straight for Keamy's throat. 

“Ben!” Locke pushes him away. Clover stands up on trembling legs and walks out of the hiding spot. When she sees Keamy's wounded body - all of the blood, she almost throws up. 

“You just killed everyone on that boat!” Locke sounds desperate, while Ben stands there with an expressionless face. 

“So?” He says.

“You stupid son of a bitch!” Clover slaps his face. Hard. 

He’s left with a red mark on his face, and her hand hurts from the impact. Despite the serious situation, she feels smug when seeing Ben's pained expression.

“Clover! Help me out here.” 

“ Help you ?! It’s over, Locke!”

“You need to help me stop the bleeding.”

“I’m a damn veterinarian! What the hell do you expect me to do?”

She takes a deep breath, holding back the lingering panic. The mercenary is bleeding out, and it’s just a matter of time before he dies. Before he kills every innocent person on the ship. 

Clover pushes her wavy hair aside and sits down. She pushes every emotion aside - she’s an actress, after all. 

They’re all gonna die. But if Keamy stays alive for a couple minutes longer, if they manage to escape the ship… She looks up at Locke.

“What do you need me to do?” 

Chapter Text

“What’s the matter?” Sayid asks

“We’re losing fuel!” Lapidus shouts, alerting everyone.

They share a look. Shit. 

“See if you can see anything!”

“We have a fuel leak!” Sayid calls out. He turns to look at the others with a tense expression. 

They have no place to land. And they’re still far from the freighter. Nova cusses and looks around for a solution. Something - anything - they can do to save some time. The fuel meter on the instrument panel ticks down slowly. 

“Get rid of any extra weight!” Nova calls. Lapidus nods in confirmation, his hand gripping the controls. 

They all help to throw stuff aboard, saving space and weight and hoping it’s enough until they reach the ship. 

But it’s not enough. Jack and Lapidus shouts to each other, discussing what to do next - and whether to go back to the island or not. 

Nova glances at Sawyer. She doesn’t realise she’s been squeezing his hand. Her knuckles are white from the pressure. Yet, he seems unaware. He gazes in front of him. 

I’d feel a hell lot better if it were a hundred pounds lighter - Lapidus had said in a snarky tone. 

“Don’t you fucking dare, Sawyer.” Nova knows Sawyer well. She sees what he’s thinking. 

The helicopter engine roars loudly and Lapidus cusses loudly. They’re seconds from crashing.

Sawyer turns his head to look at her. He gives her a crooked smile that doesn’t reach his blue eyes. They reflect the pain he’s feeling. She shakes her head but before she can protest, he pulls her into a desperate kiss. Their lips linger together until Sawyer pulls away reluctantly. She can feel his warm breath as he leans his forehead against hers. He acts like this is their last kiss, which only confirms her theory.

“I love you, Nova Cliff. Don’t you forget that.”

And before she can stop him, he jumps. 

A horrified scream leaves Nova and she stands up from her seat, calling out Sawyer's name at the top of her lungs. That fucking idiot. That infuriating damn idiot. Her idiot. 

He just jumped out of the damn helicopter to save her. But without him, Nova is beyond saving. 

He’s alive. That’s what she keeps telling herself. He needs to be.

Jack holds her back and Kate says something to her, but Nova blocks it all out. “Don’t do anything stupid, Nova.” She hears Sayid say. 

But Nova has never been a rational thinker. Always been too impulsive to think of the consequences to her actions.

I told ya I’d get us both of this craphole, didn’t I? They were seconds away from rescue. And he broke his promise. 

Bitter tears run down her face, but Nova makes no attempt to wipe them away. She looks out at the ocean. The island is so far away now. They’re so close to rescue. 

But what does she have back home? 

She’s promised herself a million times to not do this. To not lose herself because of love. To never fall this hard for anyone. 

Yet, her whole world falls apart in this second. 

You jump, I jump - that was their dramatic way of saying “I love you”. 

Nova takes a deep breath. She closes her eyes. Before anyone can stop her, she lunges forward. 

Her world is falling apart, and so is she. Falling. 

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.

Left behind. Once again, left behind. Only this time - it’s her own damn fault. 

Self sabotage, as usual. She’s a loser.

Hours pass by, but Clover remains seated outside The Orchid, on the ruins of the staircase. Her hands are still bloody - but it’s not her own blood. 

The helicopter left, probably while she was down the damn Dharma Station. 

Left behind, and for what? 

Everyone is dead. 

They managed to keep Keamy alive at least ten minutes before he passed away, triggering the bomb on the freighter. Did Jack, Nova and the others make it? Were they still in the helicopter when the ship went down? 

Juliet. 

She moves her head that she’s kept resting in her hands for the past hours.

“Fucking shit.” Is she alive? 

She flinches when someone approaches. 

“You’re still here, Clover?” John Locke says. He too is covered in Keamy's blood. Clover scrunches her nose at the sight.

“They left.”

They’re both quiet. There is nothing to say - and nothing they can say. 

Because they both know the truth. There’s a big risk they’re all dead. 

Locke starts walking away and Clover looks up at him.

“Where the hell are you going?” 

“I have places to be.”

She scoffs at his vague answer. It’s infuriating, how mysterious he is. 

“And what about me?” Clover hisses, not caring how childish it sounds. She stands up and walks after him. 

“I don’t know, Clover. I think some people are still by the beach.” 

“And where exactly is the beach?” She complains. 

They’re on the other side of the island. How the hell is she supposed to know?

“You don’t know where our camp is?” 

“Am I supposed to?! I’m sorry I’m not a damn genius - like the rest of you!” She hisses, still following him.

“I didn’t say that.” He turns his head and looks at her. “If you go back to where the helicopter was, you’ll remember your way back to camp. I promise.”

“God! You’re so infuriating! Will you tell me where you’re going?!”

“To The Others .” 

Clover stops walking.

“You’re shitting me.” 

“Not at all.”

“You’re with them now? Have you lost your mind?”

He turns to look at her and with a sigh, he says

“I’d love to explain it to you. But right now, I have to go. Come with me, if you want.”

“Why are you doing this, Locke?”

He gives her a crooked smile, but his eyes have a sad glimpse to them.

“This is my destiny.”

And so she lets him leave. She remains standing in the middle of nowhere.

Everything is so quiet. 

She’s on her own now. All alone, as always. 

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.

Sawyer gasps for air. His whole body trembles when he reaches the shoreline to the beach. A wave washes him in towards the sand and he almost loses balance. He walks barefoot in the sand. 

He has never felt this happy to get sand stuck between his toes. Never been this happy to be back at this shitty beach, on the crap island. But the happiness is short-lived. 

Nova's desperate scream is etched in the back of his mind. He can still hear it - as a constant reminder of his betrayal. He keeps telling himself it was for the best. He saved her. Saved all of them. How he’d love to see the shocked expression on Jack's face. 

Him - the son of a bitch - Sawyer, just sacrificed himself to help them all get on the damn ship. 

Sacrificed the life he could have had, with the love of his life. 

An unfamiliar ache makes him stop in his tracks. Something hurts. And not psychical pain - from the hard fall as his body hit the surface of the water. No, this is more intense, more painful. Every step he takes hurts. 

Nova. His heart aches. How can he miss her already? When did he fall so hard for that infuriating woman? 

When did he stop caring about himself - and when did she become the most important thing in his life?

She’s part of him. A part of him that’s been ripped away, and that he desperately searches for. 

He blinks his eyes. Swallows the lump in his throat. She’s safe now. This is for the best. 

He’s not worthy of her after all - and that hurts more than anything has ever hurt before. 

“I’m so sorry, Nova.” He whispers. His voice breaks and he forces himself to keep walking. One step at a time. 

As he reaches the beach, he spots Juliet. She looks up at him, with a surprised expression mirrored on his own face. He approaches her, still panting for air.

“Nice day for a swim!” He calls out - hiding his pain behind his usual cocky smirk. She just looks at him with a gloomy expression. 

“What are you doing here?” She sounds tired

“Decided to take a dip.” He slumps down in the sand next to her.

He looks at the half-empty rum bottle she is holding onto, while gazing out at the ocean.

“What ya celebratin’?” He asks. 

She looks like he just asked the most stupid question ever, but doesn’t move her gaze.

“I’m not celebrating.” 

Sawyer looks in her direction. He squints his eyes, trying to figure out exactly what she sees. 

He freezes. It feels like all air leaves his body. In the distance, he spots the smoke. 

“Is that… Our boat?”

Juliet sips the rum. 

“It was.” 

Everything around him fades out. He stares at the smoke. The ship. All gone. 

Gone, with the people aboard. 

Nova. Was she on the freighter when it went down?

Why the hell did he let her go? He let her die. 

And he can never forgive himself. That should have been him. He wishes it was him. 

His whole world falls apart.

Chapter Text

“Do you ever stop to think of the consequences to your actions? Do you even care?”

How many times has she been told that? How many times has she taken irrational decisions, made mistakes and felt regret? How many times has she let her heart - not head - call the shots? Always, and every time. 

All the hurtful things she’s said, all the stupid things she’s done. 

The time she did that trick on her bike and sprained her ankle - and got left with a nasty scar on her arm. When she fought back against her bullies - but got in trouble. The close to death experience, after saving Claire. 

Impulsive, brave, stupid - she’s been called all three, as a result of her actions.

Jumping out of a helicopter? Fucking stupid, she’ll admit. 

Is this life flashing before her eyes? Is this it?

Nova gasps for air. Everything hurts from the fall but her body moves on its own, refusing from giving up. Not yet, not now. A big wave washes over her. The cold splash hurts, but makes her feel alive. She looks around, trying to find something to hold onto. 

There is nothing but water. Nothing but a big ocean. 

Another wave splashes over her and she almost chokes on the saltwater. She spits it out and coughs. Her lungs feel too small. She moves her arms and legs and splashes water around her. Fuck, fuck!

“SAWYER!” She screams. Where is he? Is he alive? Did he survive the fall? 

Please, be alive. 

How long has she been underwater? What way should she go? 

She keeps calling his name. Calls out for her love until her voice is hoarse. 

BOOM! That’s what she hears from a distance. A sound enough to shake her out of the panic mode. She turns her head and from a distance she sees the explosion. A freighter. Their freighter. Their escape. All up in flames. A weak squeal leaves her. Then comes the tears. This is it. 

Nova doesn’t want to die. Not yet, not like this. 

She forces herself to put the emotions on pause - something she’s good at. She swallows the lump in her throat and starts moving her weak body. One movement at a time. But which way? Her heart tells her to stop trying. Give up. But her head tells her to continue swimming - because in the distance she can see the island. 

And finally, she listens to her head. She starts swimming, towards the hellhole she was so close to leaving. 

But she’ll survive. That’s what she does, after all - survive. 

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.

“Stupid Locke.” Clover mutters. She takes off the already ruined cardigan and lets the branches poke and scratch at her bare skin as she moves through the jungle. Her feet hurt and her mouth is dry from lack of water. 

“Stupid jungle. Stupid island.” She slaps away a mosquito from her sweaty back, all whilst keeping track of Locke's footsteps. 

She got curious. Besides, where else can she go? Even if it is true Juliet and some others stayed behind, she’s not ready to face them yet. And Locke owes her some damn answers. 

“Welcome back, John.” A familiar voice she can’t quite recognise. She’s there. She stops in the middle of her track and just listens. A branch crack underneath her shoe. Fuck! Both men go quiet.

“You can come out of your hiding spot now, Clover.” It feels like an ice bucket is thrown over her. She shivers and stands frozen - can’t move, even if she wanted to. 

“Clover?” Now it’s Locke's voice she hears. Great. 

She straightens her back, trying to keep some pride to hide how fucking terrified she is. Clover walks out of her hiding spot and looks into Richard Alpert's eyes. He stands next to John Locke. And behind them… Others. One of them raises a gun in her direction. Then another one. And another one. She’s surrounded.

“You’re with these hobos now, Locke?” She scoffs and looks at the Others, all dressed in the same simple and old clothes. Clover scrunches her nose, she can’t help it. If they want her dead, she might as well die with her attitude. 

“And who are you, princess?” One of the women growls. She approaches Clover with her rifle raised. But she doesn’t even flinch. She refuses to give them that satisfaction.

“Let’s all just calm down.” Locke holds his hands out and gazes at the Others. His group - his new people. Clover laughs bitterly.

“Everyone, put the guns down! We need to talk.” Locke calls out. He sounds so confident, lacking the usual insecure tone he usually carries.

Before he can give further instructions, the ground shakes. Clover covers her ears to block out the loud noise of god knows what. A mumble of confusion goes through the crowd of people. Richard squints his eyes and looks up at the sky. His eyes widens and he turns to speak to the group. 

The ground shakes again - more aggressively this time. The entire sky lights up in a blinding light and the noise rings in Clover's ears. She squeezes her eyes together and the next time she opens them, she’s alone. 

Once again alone. 

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.

Sawyer doesn’t talk. He barely hears Juliet's words, can’t hear her telling him to calm down. He only has one thing on his mind: Nova. His beloved Nova. He’s been close to losing her before. During the captivation at the Others. Nothing could prepare him for seeing and holding what he thought was her lifeless body. This is another level of pain. His whole fucking world just collapsed. How long has it been since he saw the freighter explode? He’s lost track of time. All he knows right now is pain. 

“James.” Juliet calls out, with her gaze locked at the shoreline. “James.”

She grabs his shoulder and shakes him, trying to get a reaction from him. 

“James!” She hisses. A slap across his face makes him flinch. He looks up at Juliet with a perplexed expression. 

“What the hell?!” He growls.

He looks towards the shoreline and sees a figure lying on the beach. She crawls forward and tries standing up, but the waves push her down. It takes Sawyer a while to process what - who - he’s seeing.

“NOVA!” He rushes towards her, barely believing his eyes. Is this some cruel joke? Is he going insane?

“Sawyer…” She whispers. 

He falls down in the sand next to her and pulls his girlfriend into his arms in a tight and desperate hug. She is drenched in water and her skin is cold. Her body feels limp in his arms and she groans as she attempts to lift her arms and wrap them around him. 

He nuzzles his face into her dark wet hair. 

“What are you… How?” 

She smiles weakly at him. 

“You jump, I jump. ” 

“You damn stubborn, impulsive idiot….” He cups her face and looks into her green eyes. “You crazy woman.” 

“You left me, you son of a bitch.” Nova hisses and her eyes tear up - a rare sight, even for him. She rarely cries. 

He pulls her closer once again but is pushed away. 

“Nova…” 

“ Why? Why the hell did you do that?!” 

“I was trying to save you!”

“By sacrificing yourself?” 

Sawyer scoffs.

“You did the same thing.” 

“I couldn’t just let you die!” She hisses and immediately shuts Sawyer up. “Not after everything we’ve been through, dammit! I was scared!” 

He blinks slowly and once again remembers how close he was to losing her. Why the hell are they arguing? 

“I’m sorry.” He pulls Nova into his embrace again and this time she doesn’t fight back. Her arms wraps around him and the world around them fades. He holds her like he never wants to let go again. She keeps muttering insults between her sobs, but there’s not real anger in her words. She clings onto him, like he’s her lifeline. 

Sawyer doesn’t care about anything else but her. His Nova. 

And he keeps holding her when the ground shakes. The high-pitched noise is horrible and his first instinct is to hold her closer, to protect her from whatever is going on. 

“What the hell?” She looks up, trying to identify where the noise came from. Juliet looks just as confused. She squints her eyes and looks up at the sky.

Nova and Sawyers stand up next to her, and when the ground shakes again, Nova grabs onto his hand. That’s when everything goes light. A painful white shine that covers the entire view.

It is over within seconds, but they can all feel it. The lingering anxiety and knowledge that something has changed. And whatever they’re facing next, it can’t be good.

Chapter Text

Nova squeezes Sawyer's hand - hard, like she’s afraid he will disappear if she lets him go. 

Not that she could, anyways. He squeezes her hand just as hard. 

Juliet, Miles and Charlotte are all behind them, as Faraday leads the group as they wander through the jungle - which feels like a maze. 

The flashes don't stop. It keeps appearing without warning, leaving them all with a lingering headache. The setting keeps changing. Their camp disappears, then reappears. Everything changes right in front of their eyes.

"Your camp isn't gone. It hasn't been built yet." Dan explained. Whatever that meant. 

They walk in silence. Sawyer glares at Faraday, who throws nervous glances back at him. 

“What’s the plan?” He asks coldly. Nova glares up at Sawyer, asking him to drop the bitch attitude. 

Dan starts explaining - and the rest of them do the best to understand what he’s saying without looking too confused. 

“The Island... Think of the Island like a record spinning on a turntable... only now, that record is skipping. Whatever Ben Linus did down at the Orchid station... I think... it may have... dislodged us.”

“Dislodged us from what?” Miles ask. 

“Time”

Everyone looks at each other, sharing a look of disbelief. 

He explains further: The island is dislodged, meaning that either the island or the people on it are now moving through time.

“Time travel?” Sawyer scoffs. He lets go of Nova's hand momentarily and walks up to Dan, who steps back. “How stupid do you think we are?”

“I know how it sounds, but…”

Before he can finish the sentence, Sawyer pushes him into a nearby tree. 

Nova sighs, but like the rest of the group, she makes no attempt to interfere. 

He explains again, and despite how delusional it sounds - he makes a good point. 

Nothing makes sense on this island either way.

“I believe you.” She says. Dan exhales in relief and Sawyer turns to look at her with big eyes.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Do you have a better explanation, huh?” She hisses, “We’ve survived smoke monsters, psychos living in the jungle wanting us dead… Are you really suprised? This place is fucked up!” 

No one protests, because what she’s saying is true. 

Sawyer sighs and steps away from Faraday.

“So what now, then?” He asks.

They spend the next few days wandering through time. The flashes are painful and they lose Charlotte. She dies in the arms of Faraday, leaving him devastated. 

One night, they gather at camp. Or what used to be their camp. Whenever in time they are, it’s before it was built.

 Back at square one. Nova sits by her usual spot at the beach, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to get rid of the lingering headache. 

She’s been having it for the past two days, but hasn’t told anyone. 

She’s great at masking her emotions and pain. The last she wants to do now is make everyone worried about her too. 

And after what happened to Charlotte, her sudden death as a cause of the time flashes… She is scared. 

“Hey, sweetheart.” Sawyer slumps down next to her. They haven’t had the chance to talk since the chaos began. 

“Hi.” She mutters, with worry gnawing inside, a worry that something has changed between them. That he is angry with her. 

He can read her like a book, and his voice softens.

“What’s goin’ on in your pretty head?”

“Nothing.” She lies. Nova looks away to avoid his gaze, and avoids him seeing right through her lies. But then again, he knows her too damn well.

“Why did you do it?” She knows what he’s asking about.

“I’ve told you already.” 

“I want the whole truth.”

“Don’t push it.” She hisses.  Knowing he’ll keep insisting, Nova stands up. 

“Nova, please.” Sawyer's pleading tone makes her look at him. He grabs her hand, and she reluctantly sits down again. 

“You didn’t seem that relieved when we thought we were getting rescued, either.”

His tone is not accusing, but she can hear the skepticism behind his words, as he tries to understand her.

“Because…” Because what? She can barely understand it herself. Nova pulls dark hair from her face and sighs. “Because I didn’t know what to expect when we got back home.”

“What do you mean?”

Nova swallows hard. 

“Going home would mean forgetting this. All of this. Act like nothing happened. Because let's face it. Who the hell would ever believe what we’ve gone through?” She shakes her head. “I’m a good liar, but that? That’s a lie not even I can live with.” 

She remembers everyone cheering when the signal went through - When they thought rescue was on the way. 

That was not even two weeks ago - but feels so far away. 

She remembers faking a smile when Hurley lifted her off the ground in a hug. Then she found the right moment to sneak away from the joyful moment. 

She stood alone by the cliffs. With her green eyes glued on the ocean beneath, she remembered wondering what falling would feel like. 

Being here felt like destiny. But it was more than that. Here, she met the love of her life. And now everything was about to change. She knew that the moment they were rescued, everything would get complicated. 

The thought of leaving this horrible place behind - it scared her. 

And not knowing what would happen between her and Sawyer - it was an ache in her heart. 

“I was scared of what would happen to us. That… You’d leave.” She looks away and continues her speech before he has the chance to reassure her she’s wrong. 

“I was scared to be alone. To carry all of this - alone.” The memories from the captivation at the Others flashes before her eyes and when she blinks her eyes, hot tears fall down her cheeks. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

She chuckles bitterly and waits for him to laugh at her, or maybe get pissed off at her ridiculous worries. How she loathes her dramatic damn feelings.

“I’ll never leave, Nova.” His tone is sincere, but she hears the hurt in his voice from her confession, and from thinking he’d ever hurt her. “You’re my life now.”

She swallows hard at his words. But now that she’s opened up, she needs to tell him the whole truth.

“And then… You left. Right after convincing me that everything would be okay. That we’d be together. Right as we were leaving this place. And then you just jump. Like some damn cartoon superhero.” 

“I was trying to-”

“You weren’t protecting me.” She shouts. “You were going to leave me.” 

“Fuck sake, Nova! I…” He goes quiet. “I was scared too. Scared, and stupid.”

“Scared of what?”

He laughs dryly.

“Scared that you would leave me, Nova.” She looks at him in disbelief. “Once off this island, you’d realise I’m nothing but a lousy conman. A thief, a liar… A piece of shit.”

“You’re not-”

“I wanted you to have something better. You’re strong, Nova. You’re a good person. But me? I haven’t done a single good thing in my life.” His voice breaks and now it’s his turn to look away.

The truth lies heavily between them.

“Well, ain’t we a tragic Romeo and Juliet?” He says and Nova can’t help but smile.

“No. Because we’re both alive.” Her smile fades and she looks at him. “No more lies. No more secrets.”

“No more secrets or lies.” 

She holds out her pinky finger and he grips it with his own. 

“I don’t care if you’re a conman, a cop - whatever. I love you for you.”

“I love you too, Nova. And if I ever lose you…”

He shakes his head and looks at her with teary eyes. She lets her own tears fall as she leans in for a kiss which tastes of salt. 

“Promise me we’ll get off this island one day, together.”

“Together, or not at all, baby.” He smiles at her, “If you jump, I jump. Remember?”

“I’ll kick your ass in the afterlife if you’re lying again.”

He grins and leans forward to wipe tears from her eyes. 

“I promise. For real this time.” His blue eyes are soft and full of adoration. “I love you, Nova Cliff.”

“And I love you, James Ford.” She says.

His heart skips a beat at the way she says his name. His real name. He hates when people call him James. But when Nova does it? He could get used to that. 

The moment ends too quickly. 

The horrified scream is a reminder of where they are, and how uncertain life is. One of the other survivors - a man named Neil - falls to the ground. An arrow impales his chest. A burning arrow. Then comes another one, flying right past Miles. A rain of flaming arrows lights up the night sky, before hitting the ground - and people. 

Sawyer grabs Nova's arm, dragging her up with him. He pulls her behind her, and Nova is too shocked to protest. She lets herself be led away from the chaos, trying to keep up with her boyfriend's steps. They escape together, with arrows flying around them. Arrows shot by enemies hiding somewhere in the dark. All around them, people are shot down. Screams in pain and panic echoes in the jungle.

Everything is in flames. 

Chapter Text

They keep running. Nova pants for air and her feet hurt from stumbling over rocks and branches. She has no idea if the rest of the group is alive. The jungle smells of fire and death, and she knows it could be her next. They’re met by Juliet, who’s trying to help a man who’s on fire. 

"There's no time!” Sawyer shouts.

“But…”

Nova grabs her hand, helping her up and away from danger. 

Sawyer pulls them towards a bush and together they hide, upon hearing steps approach. Nova covers her mouth, muffling her ragged breathing against a sweaty palm. 

“Is it over?” She whispers as the chaos from outside the hiding spot seems to die down. 

“I think so.” Juliet replies.

They sigh from relief, unaware that really - it’s far from over. Suddenly, they’re all grabbed by unknown people. 

Brought to their knees on the ground, they see a group of people in uniforms close in - all carrying guns. One of the men steps forward, looking at the three of them with a dark expression. 

“What are you doing on our island?” He demands. 

Nova swallows hard. They’re fucked. 

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.

Clover has never been more happy to follow Locke. The two of them are sticking together, and have been since the chaos began. It’s been four days, so she thinks.

 It’s always something. Always some shit happening in this place, or in her life. 

Locke explains it as “time travelling”, and she is surprised over how much she believes him. It makes zero sense, but is the only reasonable explanation. The four days have involved multiple flashes, running into - and almost being murdered by - Ethan, who she knows is dead. That was the moment she realised that time travel “made sense.”. 

In the daytime, they walk. They move through the jungle - and time - and try figuring out ways to figure out where and when they are. They try to find other people. And Clover feels more anxious everyday. She’s worried for them all, of course. Still, it’s Juliet on her mind. 

A constant ache and worry. 

At night, they stay low and take turns keeping guard. After running into Ethan and being shot at, they don’t want to take any risks. 

It’s currently afternoon and the air stands still. It’s humid and Clovers skin is damp from sweat and moist air

No flashes today, and no signs of danger just yet. 

Clover has put her wavy hair up. A lock of brown hair is glued to her sweaty forehead and her legs and arms are full of mosquito bites, scratches and bruises. Exhaustion has her in a worse mood than ever, but she hasn’t snapped at Locke in two days. For others, it’s just a sign of good “manners”, but for her it is an achievement. 

They don’t say much to each other, but suddenly she understands why Nova likes Locke's company. 

“Why were you on the plane?” She surprises them both by asking. She realises that she’s never asked him that. 

“I was in Sydney for a walkabout.”

“Aren’t you a bit too old to do that?”

He laughs and looks back at her with a smile.

“I don’t think so, no.” 

“That’s why you know so much about surviving on a deserted island?”

“Something like that.” He has a mysterious smile - but also something sad in his eyes - which tells her there is more to the story. “What about you?”

“I was on my way to an audition. For a theatre”

“Awesome! Which theatre show?”

“It was for a version of ‘Wicked’.”

“Which role did you want? Glinda?”

Clover can’t help but smile and she raises an eyebrow at him.

“You like Wicked?” 

“My ex-girlfriend did.”

She’s not used to people opening up to her. Especially when it’s someone mysterious like Locke. A man so different from her. 

There it is again, the sadness in his eyes - and in his voice too, this time. 

“Not sure I’d get the role, though.” She feigns nonchalance with a shrug.

“I think you’d do great.”

She’s startled by his words, not sure if he’s genuine. Still, it touches her more than she lets show. 

“Thanks.” 

She thinks of the role. Of the fact her damn ex-girlfriend was auditioning too. And that she died in the plane crash, but Clover survived. What would happen if they got to LA? Who would get the role? 

“Let’s set up camp.” She expects Locke to protest, but he simply nods and puts his backpack on the ground. They’ve walked for hours now, searching for other people. Another day without traces of their group. 

Locke throws her a mango and she catches it. She can barely control the urge to eat it all in big bites. Instead, she takes small and slow chews, hoping it will make her feel full. 

“Can I ask you something, Clover?” Locke asks, while cutting his mango in pieces. She scrunches her nose at the sight of the dirty-looking knife he’s using to do so. She hopes he cleans it off before cutting fruits with it. 

“Go ahead.” She looks up at him. 

“Why did you follow Ben?”

She scoffs.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Not really, no.” He sighs and frowns at her, showing genuine concern. “You were so close to going home.” 

“Home to what?” 

“You must have a family waiting, all worried for you.”

Clover laughs bitterly.

“No. My grandparents are probably over it already. One less guilt for them to handle.”

Locke falls silent.

“And your parents?”

“My mom left when I was two. And my dad… I’ve never met him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

It feels oddly good to tell Locke the uncomfortable truth. She either keeps people at arms-length, or they avoid getting close to her. No one has cared enough to let her open up, and no one has trusted her enough to let her in-. Last time someone did, it was Shannon. Now that Locke talks to her so openly, and lets her open up, she comes to realise how much she’s missed - and craved - conversations like this. 

“She was part of the Dharma-Initiative. Guess that’s why I’ve never feared this place. I guess… In some weird way, I feel at home.”

“I know the feeling.”

Is he gonna hit me with that “destiny”-crap again? 

“I was scared to go back home.” There it is. The truth. 

She swallows the lump in her throat and doesn’t dare to look at Locke. She blinks her eyes a couple of times, forcing the tears back.

“I grew up in a foster home. I didn't meet my parents until I was an adult.” Locke confesses.

Now she looks at him. The surprise is evident in Clover's eyes. Maybe they are more similar than she thinks. She waits for him to continue.

“My dad, he… Is not- Was not a good man.” Locke struggles to form the sentence. “He tricked me.”

But he doesn’t have time to explain what happened. The screams sound far away, yet so close. People are moving - running - through the jungle. Locke stands up and grabs his backpack. His grip on the knife is tight.

“Hey, where are you…” He walks away. “Damn you, Locke!”

The sounds are getting closer and Clover fears what she’ll see if she follows Locke. But maybe - just maybe - it’s their group. She stands up and runs after him.

Because being alone scares her more than anything.  

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.

“What are you doing on our island?” The man - who goes by Jones - demands. His voice carries an accent, and his tone is menacing. No one replies.

Nova, Juliet and Sawyer are on their knees with guns pointed to their heads. One wrong move, one wrong word - and they’re all dead. 

Sawyer takes the word, trying to reason with them. But no one is willing to listen to their story. 

“You’re lying.” He growls.

“I’m not.” Sawyer glares at Jones and the men holding them at gunpoint. 

“One more lie…” Jones walks up to Nova and kneels before her. He brings out a knife, and Nova does her best to keep a straight face. She glares at Jones, not letting the fear through. She sees Sawyer squirming. There is pure hatred in his eyes.

“...And she’s dead. And I’ll make it slow.”

The blade is against her cheek, and the tip of it pokes the skin. A drop of blood stains the knife.

Sawyer lunges forward but is held down by another man, who laughs at his stupidity. 

“Ah, I get it… This is your girlfriend?” Jones removes the knife and grabs her chin forcefully. He tilts her head to look at him. “Such a shame your boyfriend is an idiot.” 

“Fuck you.” Nova hisses. His grip tightens and before thinking twice, she bites into his hand. Jones roars in pain and Nova looks up at him, before spitting his blood on the ground next to his feet. 

“You bitch!” A hard slap across her face makes Nova almost fall over. Sawyer shouts. His voice is venomous but it doesn’t affect the group of people threatening them. Her ears are ringing and her cheek pulsates with pain. She looks up at Jones, wanting to act unbothered. If this is her last moment alive, she wants to die with dignity.

Just then, he is knocked to the ground. And so is the man next to him. Juliet is quick and manages to unarmor yet another enemy, now holding his own gun to his head. How the tables turned. Sawyer does the same to the other man - tries to, at least. But he fights back.

Before anyone gets hurt, a knife flies through the air, impaling the chest of the man fighting Sawyer.

Within seconds, it’s over. The fourth man flees away. With two men unconscious and one dead, they’re safe again. 

Juliet points her gun at the direction where the knife came from. 

“Show yourself!” She shouts. 

Footsteps approach them from the darkness. And when Nova sees who it is, her eyes widen.

“Locke!”