Chapter Text
The home drive was long, longer than the college student had hoped to be. In just one hour of driving, the serial killer had encountered a cascade of death and destruction—scenes of chaos playing out on the roadside that eclipsed anything he had witnessed in his entire worthless existence. Fire and smoke billowed in the distance, a grim visual reminder of his life up until now.
Had the serial killer told his piece-of-shit mother to fuck off and refused to raise Ashely, he wouldn't be in the hell hole he is now. Had he just run away and never looked back, he could have had a semblance of a normal life, but here he was, listening on with the haunting echoes of sirens filling the air. Like a shit song loved by pre-teen girls, or at least feels like one. His whole was a shit show and not one pre-teen girls would love.
"This place is insane."
"Oh, you must be new here .." The diver said, joking
"Hehe, that's right, my little cabbage just moved into the city looking to start his first day at the G corp." The demon said bubbly
"You looking to work for the corps, hehe, good luck. Only the strongest can survive in this hellhole. You will have to play by the city's rules because if you try to outmaneuver them, the city will always win. If you want to leave, you have a chance to turn back now.."
Andrew looked at the Lord Unknown, who returned his glance with a smile. The smile put Andrew off, as she was cheerful and happy in Hell City, and Andrew was never fond of overly happy people. But more than that, he can't turn back now; that path of redemption had long since passed him by.
"Thanks for the warning, but I don't have much of a choice in the matter… "
Despite his lowly profession of just being a driver, the man had a lot of lore about the blood city, stories about the city politics of the criminal community in and out, the people and fashion, the best weapons to have, etc., with any indication city streets is much worse outside of the highway than the possibility of getting shot at by a crazy person in a flaming car.
At the current point in time, the city is overrun by four factions. All of them are criminals.
The ones who ruled the city were the Top Dogs —the high corporations that overruled its citizens with capitalist power and control. Most, if not all, the military, law enforcement, and medical used for only the top percent; if someone wasn't rich and was sick, they might as well pay for their funeral because they ain't getting medical insurance or aid. If they had a criminal charge they couldn't buy off, well, they are guilty until proven guilty.
Many companies dominated the city, but one company that ruled them all was the G Corp, and its emperor was Andrew's boss; Kazuya Mishima.
All of the mega-corporations and their king, "G Corps," exploit workers in ways that are hardly distinguishable from outright slavery. These jobs systematically reduce hardworking individuals to a state of legal servitude, paying them to piss poor minimum wage with little to no time to themselves until they are "back on the grind," as one AD puts it.
People work, work, work for their dreams, work, work, work for their future, and work, work, work for a better opportunity, and yet all that work barely covers the bare necessities of life , such as a place to live .
It's as if they are bound in chains of poverty, deprived of dignity and opportunity, leaving them to scrape by in a world where they might as well be free slaves, trapped in a never-ending cycle of struggle.. literal. Slaves. to capitalism .
This never-ending cycle explains why so many people turned to a life of crime and drugs. Waiting for them to either get caught and turn into lower-than-dirt slaves in prison, criminals, drug users, homeless people, or blood stains on the pavement.
The Blood City…
Andrew's new home…
Andrew had no doubt that Mr. Mishima was one of them—not the Top dog that rules them all with an Iron Fist. Andrew was natural at picking up a fucked up person because he is one. On that note, what caught Andrew's attention was how the peppy demon next to him was singing along to a Sugar pop song that was so close to Mr. Mishima. He seemed not to mind the demon and talked to it casually, in a non-threatening and non-demanding way. As Andrew noted, the Lord Unknown was happy, friendly, and bubbly, which was a big contrast to Mr. Mishima's dangerous, threatening, and authoritarian aura.
Andy recalls them having a partnership, and the Lord Unknown called him Pumpkin. It's not the kind of nickname one would give an all-powerful and terrifying dictator of a criminal city. Andrew wondered what their relationship was. How will he be able to use it for his benefit?
The second powerful criminal organization was ;
The Blood Cries - of the city's biggest street gangs, they refer to them as some sort of freedom fighters who go against corporations and law enforcement. But they are the quickest to die or go insane in their never-ending quest for freedom. Freedom of being freed from a world where there is none, an endless cycle of insanity. Andrew felt the sorriest for them because he could relate to the cycle of never-ending shit and wanting to be free from it. When he had that chance of freedom to find light at the end of the tunnel finally, he went crawling right back to the shit hole. It was both sad and frustrating to be so foolish.
The boots - a criminalization that's high on the list of the weapon trade and other criminal activities. Bootlickers for the Top Dogs. The boots are freelance killers for the rich. Big dreamers looking to make it at the top no matter how much bullets or blood they spill, even if one of their own. Andrew did not have much of an opinion of the Boots; they were typically bootlickers of the big guys and criminals. But other than that, he couldn't think much of them. He figured that The Boots and Blood Cries would be at war with each other and would very much like to stay out of their crosshairs.
The Sweet Skin- an organization that was big on the prostitution ring and the human harvest trade for the black market. They're the ones that are big on the trafficking of citizens, mainly women, and the most vulnerable—very typical… super cliché.
Can't scumbag human lease be original, something fresh and new? Human trafficking? Omega boring. Andrew thought, but he knew he was pretty damn fine and knew he needed to stay out of their crosshair, or he would be ass deep in whatever weird stuff sex slaves do. Feet porn? Skippy Scat hat? Smut artist? Idol cosplayer? An e-boy? A vlogger? Andrew didn't know, and he didn't want to find out.
Then there are small-time, simple criminals in the city, but they are like baby French fries compared to big daddy Almas Caviar, one of the main four that rule the Blood City. Lord Unknown explains that Andrew was to be an earner to the G Corp faction. A side of the boots, but more under the radar, and he was getting paid to risk his life on company time, for the company, but paid less than a freelance killer.
So with that, Andrew was part of the Loan sharks.
Paid criminals but in the biggest criminal organization in the city. A single itty-bitty French fry on a plate of Alma Caviar, but he still had a huge target on his back for the simple fact that he would be working for the G Corp. Andrew's biggest threat would be The blood cries for simple affiliation being a corpo.
Andrew is a simple college dropout who was in love with her sister as well as a murderer with nothing in him but a bloody cleaver and a nightmare. With him is a demon, the most powerful demon in the realm, who dresses like a 1950s housewife, singing along to a musical nonchalantly or making light of the awful world they are in. Together, they are in the middle of a four-way gang war in the criminal city. They were small fish in a big ocean of period shit.
( This is going to be a lot harder than I expected it to be. I need to find the right people to support me and help me survive. I doubt our Lord, unknown, could do much good. Despite supposedly being the most powerful demon that even Cults worship, she's too trusting and happy for this miserable place. Andrew thought to himself. )
I could find a partnership with a boot, but I might have to share a cut of my payment; that could work.
Andrew was suspected to survive; he needed to be dark, cruel, and unusual … more so than he usually was.
Andy knew he wouldn't be able to sleep well tonight or at all, but regardless, he finally made it to his destination, his "home," as the preppy and happy demon referred to it if anyone could call it that. It was more like a holding place than a prison.
The build was what Andrew expected from a cyberpunk sci-fi dystopia novel; the apartment building was crammed into a tight space with no room above it, and more buildings surrounded the already crowded one they were in, creating a sense of eternal darkness. The scenes that Andrew thought of were the buildings of Metabolism and Brutalism architecture, but they were more trashy and hopeless. The area was full of graffiti on the wall, trash on the ground, poor homeless people lying sideways, sitting on the stairs, and Andrew was pretty sure he walked past someone giving head by the vending machine while others watched. The area was true full bloom of capitalism hell, with no hope and no joy to be found.
As the demon and human walked to their room, A few men and women whistled as Lord Unknown looked to talk to her and possibly harass or assault her. The demon simply smiled and politely rejected their obviously, immoral and torturous offer with a smile non the wiser that, not reading they were in a clearly dangerous area that they were clearly about to get figuratively and literally fucked, but somehow, to Andrew's surprise, the creepy men back off to their own devices.
Maybe it finally hit them that they were trying to harm a literal demon from hell or that the driver next to them, who was holding their bags, pulled out a gun toward the creep's face, which caused them to back off. Andrew assumed it was the gun to the face; either way, the creeps left, and they were back on their path. Their driver was cool, Andrew thought. Even he was an unfaithful husband with a bad taste in drag queens.
———
Once they finally reached room 66, the driver abandoned the pair, leaving them alone in a neighborhood full of crazy people.
The pair finally made it to their room after what felt like a long, painful, and humiliating tour of the deep despair of the human spirit around them. The personification of the true American dream. The Lord Unknown ditches her high heels to float toward the bed. As they entered, Andrew readied that the home looked like a small motel with one bed, a small kitchen, a small bath, and a small closet.
"Where living in a motel"
"Well, it used to be a motel, but since then, it has been renovated to be a living quarters." As the demon sat on the bed, the object snapped, causing the bed to tip to the side. "Well..somewhat livable, so it's not too bad. You got all the necessary things to do what we need to do right there in your suitcase, your suit, your ID card, and your weapon."
"why are you helping me in this shit hole of a neighborhood in the lowly part of the city, Lord unknown? You are an all-powerful demon and seem close to Mr. Mishima. Why not live up to the luxury high life and be a demon sugar baby? You sure got the personality of one."
"What! No! As I said, my Pumpkin and I have a sort of partnership, and I'm not one to take handouts or an easy way to the top. It would be unfair to the others who work hard for their job. I like to work for my accomplishments. They don't call me Lord Unknown because I asked to be; I had to work for it."
"I'm sure you had to backstab and kill a lot of demons to get your status, huh?.."
"yeah.." Lord Unknown said with melancholy in tone. It was the first time Andy had heard the demon sound sad. It caught him off guard for a bit until she suddenly switched back to her happy, annoying Perky mode.
" But this isn't about me, little cabbage. This is about you. I'm here to ensure you're on the right track. "
"Why am I an adult man? I can take care of myself.."
"Well, you asked for my partnership; I'm here to provide. "
"Why, what do you get of this, helping me?" Andrew question
"That's my secret that only stays with me ." The pink demon playing coy.
"Seriously, you can't be upfront with your' little cabbage '"
"Of course not! Your little one, because you're still a baby. Wait until you mature and be a big cabbage!"
"PSK, I'm 22 years old. I'm old enough to drink and vote against my own self-interest; I'm perfectly and reasonably an adult."
"Still a baby compared to me," said the accent demon rebuff ." Besides, when have you known a demon to tell humans everything.. we have boundaries, too, you know. We like to keep something private, too, believe it or not."
"hhhmm, I guess I can't argue with that; demons were once shitty humans when they were alive." Andrew said casually.
The demon reacted sadly to the statement as if it was offended by it.
Weren't all demons scumbag humans? It's why they were in hell in the first place, right? Andrew looked over toward the saddened demon and changed the subject.
"..Well, so long as I get revenge for my sister, I don't really care for all the details. I'll stay out of your business if you stay out of mine. Will keep this partnership mutually beneficial until the contracts end."
The demon quickly changes its mood to a happier and more hopeful one.
"That'll work... well, tomorrow will begin, and don't worry, I won't intrude in your business affairs. I'll do my best to help you, but I also have my own work to attend to. Being a demon lord and all gives me a pretty big workload, so I pop in every once in a while."
"fuck, I thought we were in this together, So I'm all on my own in this. great.."
"Don't worry, Little cabbage, I'll still I'll be around when you need me. In fact, I will be in the background by doing this:"
The demon transformed into a tiny pink otter, retaining its demon horns, but they were now smaller.
"I can turn into an otter. So you don't have to worry about me; you are the driver of this new adventure. Just try not to get yourself killed."
"No promise.." Andrew mutter
—----------------
The demon and human got themselves reacquainted with their small home by unpacking everything, washing up with water that was brown and cold, and having dinner. The dinner of a ~ classic college meal~; cup noodles that they managed to heat up with a microwave that barely worked. After dinner, the demon of the Lord retired for the night to go to sleep on the broken bed while Andrew's sleeping arrangements were on the floor.
While Unknown offered, Andrew preferred to be in bed in Leyley's arms. In the middle of the night, Andrew woke up, still unable to fully process that Ashley was gone forever. The young man left the room to sit by the balcony and take a smoke.
Despite being in a lowly shit hole of a neighbor, they have a good view of the city skyline. It really was like a cyberpunk dysphoria novel, with a heavy emphasis on dysphoria. The red neon lights shine through the dark clouds, the floating cars and shaped ships in the air, and the oxygen of unrestrained capitalism in every molecule of air.
It was different from the city he was from, the boring, conservative neighborhood where he grew up. The Blood City wasn't quiet or peaceful, but here, in the heart of the lowest form of societal humanity, Andrew felt like he had a chance.
A chance to change.
A chance to be someone.
It was a nice view of the neon-red city. The possibilities that lay ahead of him and the thought of making something of himself, along with the tobacco lung cancer smoke, somewhat calmed him down ..until he heard guns and shots belonging to the building underneath him. Glancing down, Andrew saw the view of a naked pregnant woman holding a chainsaw, casing people around the parking lot. This.. isn't ideal for a good night's or any rest with people getting murdered and shit.
Andrew felt this feeling before being a rat trapped in a shitty cage, visions of being stuck with Leyley starving to death because his shit hole of parents didn't want to deal with him or his sister. The feeling of desperation, that feeling of despair, that feeling of… hunger , and that feeling of wanting to get out no matter what it takes.
Andrew knew he needed to work his way up the social ladder, and he knew the task wouldn't be easy. On the bright side, he's got an all-powerful demon to keep him company, even though deep down in his heart, he admits he wishes he were with Leyley again. A more evil demon than the all-powerful one he was with.
At least the Lord Unknown is nice… but very, very annoying. Not annoying enough that he wants to kill her like he does with Ashley, but bothersome enough that he needed to smoke and give himself lung cancer.
——————————-
Andrew lay unrested on the floor, with bugs crawling around him and the annoying, broken machines humming throughout the night. The chainsaw-gun battle ended with the police arriving and just shooting up everyone in the area, including people who had nothing to do with it. After the shoot-out, the cops finally just up and leave without so much as having the paramedic pick up the groups lying bare in the streets.
Eventually, nearby homeless neighbors picked up the dead and threw them into a nearby fire pit. A form of a pyre for the dead. It was quite a sight. After witnessing that unfold, Andrew finally cried himself to sleep.
He wasn't sure if it was due to the mass murder from his living quarters, being in a different timeline, resting on the hard floor, the killing of his parents, the passing of Ashley, or the combination of all four. Whatever bottom-up emotions Andrew had, he let out silently at night.
He was grateful he hadn't woken up to find out the demon would try to confront him, and Andrew didn't really need the fake sweet words from a demon from hell. He just wanted to wallow in self-pity. Not long after falling asleep, Andrew was suddenly woken up by an obnoxiously loud knock on the door, and a Lord Unknown greeted the doorman, obnoxiously happy and somehow striking up a conversation with him. After a long discussion, the demon got a suitcase and woke the sleeping young man.
"Wakey, wakey, time to get little cabbage! You began your first day of work! Yay!" The demon shook the man on the floor.
"Hhhmmmm," the young man grumbles, still (fake) asleep.
"Come on, wakey, wakey eggs and bakey! It's time to start your very first job! Come on," the demon shook the college student side to side.
Andre tried to ignore the demon, pretending to go back to sleep. "Hmm, five more minutes.."
"No more minutes, young man; it's time to get up. You are gonna be late! Get up right this instant, or I'll pour hot water on you! Don't think I won't do it - I will!-I do it- and the water will be very, very hot!"
"No, you wouldn't dare . You don't have enough hatred to be that cruel." Andrew said dramatically, his theater nerd kid appearing out so early in the morning, just as annoying and embarrassing as a boner in the morning.
Lo and behold, the demon kept its word and poured medium-hot water on the college student. It was hot enough to leave third-degree burns but warm enough to be woken up by the audacity of having water poured on. Andrew thought he, the demon, was too nice to do such a thing. Clearly, the demon wasn't all that kind. He shouldn't expect any less from a demon.
“ Alright, alright, I’m getting up.”
“ Yes! Take a bath! Your toothbrush and suit are in the bathroom; I’ll have your breakfast ready when you get out.”
“ Pouring water on a sleeping person isn’t very nice, you know.”
“ Neither is being late for your first job. Your coworkers are counting on you! Get dressed,” The demon said, playfully slapping Andrew’s nonexistent ass.
This was the most positive, familiar thing he had ever had from a demon than his 22 years of life from his human mom.
—-------------------------------------------------------
Andrew stepped into the cold shower, feeling invigorated by the icy water that jolted him awake. He quickly brushed his teeth, grimacing at the strange taste of the questionable water. After finishing his grooming, he faced the mirror and took in his reflection: a lanky, pathetic figure with ribs subtly showing beneath his pale skin. Sighing, he adjusted his loose-fitting shirt, hoping to mask his thin frame.
Andrew was never known to be the most athletic type, but he always wanted to gain enough muscle in his body to appear healthy and give the appearance of someone who was cool and has hot sex every day due to his sex appeal. Sadly, he had always just been plain skinny but passable for being a sexy hipster -skinny. However, after starving for three months and consuming people, Andrew now looked like a mummy.
He guesses human organs don't provide nutrition and vitamins.
Reflecting on last night’s meeting, Andrew couldn't help but notice Mr. Mishima. His powerful physique, brimming with nutrients and muscle, commanded attention with every movement. Andrew felt a twinge of jealousy; having a daily full-course meal and enough fat to convert into muscle was a luxury he longed for. Finding a job had turned out to be a blessing in disguise. With a stable income, he finally had the opportunity to buy decent meals instead of resorting to desperate measures.
Andrew dressed in a white dress suit, complemented by a black tie, black blazer, and jacket. He was aware that every corporation has a significant target on its back, and it didn't help his case that he looked like he worked at a corporation in the middle of crime-filled streets, and like any corporation, they didn't provide him with dress shoes or a bulletproof vest. so he settled for his old black and white Converse, which still had a bloodstain on them. Andrew was uncertain about the source of the blood, likely from one of his many victims.
"Look at you, very handsome, very professional little cabbage, "said the early bird demon. Andrew couldn't help but roll his eyes. Must a demon be this annoying so early in the morning? As Andrew wasn't looking, the Lord Unknown floated over to the young man to fix his tie, causing him to blush at his personal space being invaded.
"H-hey, the ten-foot rule!" The young killer blushed, but the demon simply smiled and tucked in his tie
"There. Can't have your tie get in the way now, can we?" Andrew realized that the small gesture of fixing his tie was his first experience in a mother-son exchange. He knew Renee would never have done something like that for him in all his years of being alive, but that moment with the demon was a genuine first.
Andrew blushed and tried to play it cool, despite his usually callous 'don't care' attitude, as he continued getting ready. The company provided the young college student with a set of tools to use for his work, including a cleaver. Andy was also given an M3 e-HG handgun with a small box of bullets and a simple kantas to carry. Andrew always had a passion for Kantas and Japanese culture; he always wanted to wield one but never had the funds to buy one; while the Kantas he had wasn't as impressive as the expensive one, Andrew couldn't help but have a childlike wonder, pretending to wield it like a samurai- he'll be like his favorite character, from his favorite video- from his his favorite song; he'll be the shit storm that is approaching.
—--------------------------------
After obtaining their weapons, the demon and human sat down for breakfast. They had nothing but crackers and air, their stomachs growling for simple any kind of food.
"This is all we have for breakfast?" Andrew asked annoyed
"Unfortunately, yes. We don't have any money at the moment," Lord Unknown said apologetically.
"Then how are we going to afford this dump? How am I gonna do my job?" Andrew complains, pointing out that the two are truly living in a dump. He had always imagined that as a formidable demon lord, Lord Unknown would command legions and wield unimaginable power. Instead, Lord Unknown seems to have a mundane existence, lacking even the most basic semblance of authority or ambition, existing in the shadows of obscurity, and this realization grated on Mr. Graves like nails on a chalkboard. She seemed just a nobody, like he was, only more annoying, and the fact that the demon was leaving him to the wolves and needed to find a partner in the blood city didn't improve Andrew's opinion of the demon. Did he make a deal with a useless demon? Frustration bubbled within Andrew as he tried to reconcile the grand expectations he had harbored with the awful truth before him.
"Now, now, don't get so cranky! Despite its danger, this is a city of infinite possibilities. We will get money for food, then we can begin our work full and ready."
"So, how do you suppose we get money for food?"
"Well, I did say this is a city of unruly people.. we just have to find a nice patron and suggest he give us his money."
"So you are suggesting we go rob someone? What happened to not killing? "
"When did I say we should kill people? All I said is that we.. find some bad people.. Doing bad things... And teach them a lesson! It'll be beneficial for both parties... They learn their lesson... And we get money for food. It's a win-win situation.."
"So we beat up people and rob them. Would G Corp even allow that?"
"So long as we complete our work, they don't care how it's done."
"So how are we gonna rob criminals in a criminal city? You and I are not much fighter types.."
"That's where having yours truly comes in handy. Give me your hand and sword."
"O-kay.."
"Your hand, please—the one with my mark." Lord Unknown swayed her hips while humming a tune. Andrew rolled his eyes; it was too early in the morning for a quirky demon being quirky.
"Oh, you mean this mark?" Andrew held out his left hand, which bore the symbol of the red-eyed demon. "By the way, I didn't appreciate you looking into my mind."
"You're the one who let me in." Lord Unknown playfully comments.
With a deliberate, graceful movement, the demon then seized the sword —a formidable weapon with intricate etchings along its blade that glinted ominously in the dim light, evoking a demonic aura. Channeling its dark energy, the demon intoned an incantation in an ancient dialect, words laced with demon power that Andrew preferred to remain a mystery: what they were, what she said, and what they did.
As the pink demon spoke, the sword was enveloped in a tumultuous fusion of black and fiery red light, pulsating like a heartbeat, as if it were alive and thirsting for battle—or bloodshed, causing Andrew to sweat at the possible danger it might cause. The very air around them crackled with an electric tension. Andrew is having second thoughts about getting a power boost from a demon, which may not have been the best idea.
"Ow! That really hurt. What did you do?"
"Psh. Don't be a baby, little cabbage. I just infused my magic onto you and your weapons; now, traveling around shouldn't bring much anxiety."
"Demon magic, huh? Should I be worried about my already blackened heart getting blacker with it?"
"Not all. While it's powerful magic, it's not strong enough to kill you or anyone. It's just enough to knock people back and make them faint."
"What then? What's the point of having demon magic if I can't kill anyone? "
"Well, I-I did give you magic; you just have to figure out how to use it. Besides, it didn't give you a lot of magic, just… 0% of my power?."
0%? What am I going to do with 0% of demon power? That's not power at all! Andrew thought to himself, believing that the demon was just playing a trick on him.
"W-what- 0%?! You- You-you wanna survive in this mad city or not, lord unknown?" lord unknown?"
"Demon power is very dangerous, especially for a human. I have to be careful not to corrupt you. Besides, we're not trying to kill people; we just knock them out and take their belongings for food. I promise the power you have is enough! Try it out for yourself.."
—---------------------
The human and the demon, (not so) cleverly disguised as a pink demon otter, ventured into the junkyard next to their motel.
Amidst the towering mounds of rusted metal and forgotten treasures, the human sought to harness his newfound powers, which would hopefully aid his quest to obtain food—a demonic power to match his demonic personality. Andrew wanted to learn what he could finally do without an evil sister holding him back.
"Knock that can over," the pink otter commanded in a voice as perky as her normal form. It didn't help that her cherry tone was out of place against the cacophony of clanking debris. Andrew's eyes narrowed as he fixed his gaze on a battered can at a distance, its faded paint barely clinging to the crumpled surface. With extreme focus, power, and will, Andrew summoned a black claw of obsidian darkness that emerged from his hand. Red and black flames burned in the plain and arm as if it were a superpower.
"Oh shit, did I just create a demon-powered hand?" Andrew exclaimed in awe. He marveled at the monstrous appendage, larger than his own head and radiant with otherworldly energy. Yet, despite its power, he stood far too distant to reach the can, his awe rendering him immobile as the masterpiece of his newfound abilities loomed menacingly before him. They can remain standing, untouched, however.
"Cabbage!" The otter whined, "The can!"
"Oh, right, sorry.." Andrew murmured, his voice tinged with uncertainty. He stood there, acutely aware of the daunting power thrumming in his hand—a demon-infused limb that seemed bigger than his entire body. With a deep breath, he tentatively extended his demon arm, focusing intently as he aimed for the can that sat just beyond his reach. Andrew carefully reached over to the can with a gentle effort. He, unconfidently and pathetically, pushed the can over. The otter jumps in excitement. As if watching a child make a hole in a putt-putt game after 20 failed attempts, Andrew, deep, deep, deep within his blackened soul, enjoyed the praise nonetheless.
"Try out the sword and gun," the pink otter commanded, pumping its little paws in the air. Andrew would have thought it was cute if he had a heart.
Andrew grabbed his back and sword and channeled the power of anime and video games. Andrew quickly unsheathed his sword and unleashed a surge of demonic energy, a deep crimson mixed with inky blackness, unleashing a powerful slash that cleaves through the air (just like his favorite anime). The force of the strike sends the aluminum cans flying, exploding upon impact in a shower of twisted fragments and shimmering metal shrapnel. Truly, the college dropout had channeled the power of the devil and anime on his side. Andrew began to jump around in boyish glee; he had never done anything so cool or exciting in his whole miserable 22 years of life. Not wasting time on his new cool demon power, Andrew switched over to his gun.
Andrew didn't bother trying to aim or focus on what he was supposed to aim; when one has cool demon anime powers, who would waste time aiming and shit? The secret otaku dork fires a vivid red bolt that blazes like a small comet, illuminating the surrounding area and casting dark, flickering shadows in every direction. Hitting everything in the area (except the pink otter), the combination of destructive energy and vibrant flashes creates a chaotic spectacle of power and fury. Andrew got a hard-on and nearly creamed in his pants, like any typical anime nerd with a body pillow would.
"Holy. fucking. Shit. This is awesome!"
"That's right! It's enough to get what we need and knock out any suspected person, so what do you say."
Fully confident and feeling like a total anime badass, Andrew gives his first-ever badass one-liner, "Let's get some breakfast.."
The otter squeaked in frustration as it jumped up and down ". No, you're supposed to say thank you!"
"Oh right, thanks."
"Hmm, you are very welcome.." the otter said, looking very smug.
"But before we go, can you give me a minute? I need to get rid of this boner …"
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