Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Severus Snape sits in the middle of the Canterton High School cafeteria, all alone. His black hair hangs over his face, but there’s no mistaking it: he’s smiling.

He has an open laptop in front of him. There are people all around, absorbed in their oh-so-important lives. The self-centered popular kids are sitting right next to Snape, but they’re too concentrated on cheating on each other and competing on who’s got the shiniest hair and the biggest biceps to pay attention to him. The nerds are huddled together on the other side of the cafeteria, playing maths-related video games or reading books on how the atomic bomb was created or something. The weird art kids are probably painting each other with ketchup or going around the cafeteria, asking for donations for someone’s cat’s funeral. The jocks are trying to stuff themselves so full of protein that sooner rather than later their heads will burst and leave a big blob of muscle behind.

Snape knows these people. They try to distinguish themselves from each other in every way they can, to convince themselves that there is somehow something unique in them, that perhaps they’re better than others, but deep down they’re all the same. And they’re all disgusting.

Ping!

There it is. Just as Snape knew they would, every single person in this godforsaken cafeteria reaches down to their pockets to get their phones out, if they don’t have them in their hands already. They’re all pathetically hungry for gossip. They clearly want to tear each other down. And who is the Half-blood Prince to deny them that luxury?

Snape shuts the cover of his laptop and stands up. There are whispers all around him, as dozens of pairs of eyes scan the latest post on the app. A half-smile dances on the corners of his lips, as he slicks his hair back and walks through the crowd of people.

God, it is a fucking magnificent feeling to see all of these puppets dance in the exact choreography he wants them to.

Chapter Text

James

Monday, September 22

The day has already been fucking exhausting and it looks like it’s not about to end any time soon.

The halls are crowded as always, as James Potter makes his way through the masses of people chatting by lockers and hurrying to different directions. Some kids are having a competition on who can stand on their hands the longest - James could easily beat any of those skinny boys.  It’s the first day of school - and James’ last year of high school - but people act like they’ve been here forever and the travels to Europe or long shifts at gas stations never happened. It’s unbelievable how people stick to places like gum.

Gripping the handle of his backpack, James turns from the last corner and comes face to face with not just the English class, but also someone named Severus Snape.

Talk about a person who sticks to places like gum.

Arguably one of the most hated students in the whole building, the boy is sporting the same look as he was before the summer holidays began. He has not tanned one bit, in fact it looks like he’s gotten even paler than before. His shoulder-length, black, greasy hair is hanging over his face, as he turns over and smirks at James.

“Gym’s the other way, Potter”, he says. Something about his posture has always reminded James of some invertebrate. Possibly a snake. Or a slug?

“Yes, I know, Snape”, he grunts, stepping further to grip the English class door handle. Snape’s smirk widens as he realises what’s happening.

“You too? The golden boy of Canterton in detention?”

“None of your business”, James retorts and opens the door.

Inside the tidy-kept class he finds the strangest group of three people. The closest to the windows sits Mary MacDonald. James wouldn’t say that they’re friends, exactly, but something like it. They hang out together from time to time, as they both have many of the same friends. James’ best friend Adrian used to date her for almost two years, so they’ve become friendly over the years. Why she would be in detention, though, is a mystery to him.

Behind her sits a face that isn’t unfamiliar to detention at all. In fact, it would’ve been much more surprising if he wasn’t here. Sirius Black. He’s wearing his signature look: long, curly black hair and some faded old band t-shirt. There are wild rumors going around him wherever he goes, but the boy seems to only stroke the fires with the way he acts. Many people think he’s heading straight to jail after everybody else graduates and leaves for further studies, but who knows.

In front of the class sits the most unexpected one of them all. Dorcas Meadowes? With her braided black hair falling neatly off her back and her clothes without a single wrinkle in them, the girl is a definition of a goody two shoes. There’s no way she’d end up here. On the first day of school, no less.

Meadowes seems to agree with James. As he and Snape take their places as far away from the others and each other as possible, she raises her hand. “Ms. McGonagall? There has been a mistake. I was only late because someone texted me telling me to go to another classroom and I thought the classroom had been changed and I-”

“Yes, I think we’ve heard it already, miss Meadowes”, the teacher, Ms. McGonagall answers with a dry tone. She’s a strict teacher with her hair tied into an even tighter bun. She teaches English and literature at the Canterton High School and is feared by everyone, even the janitor.

Meadowes shuts her mouth with a sour expression. James reaches into his bag to dig out a pencil, while McGonagall begins to explain the proceedings of the detention. No phones, no laptops, no one is allowed to leave until they’ve written a two-page long essay on why it is wrong to disrupt the working peace of the classroom.

James looks up from his paper to see Snape smirking at Meadowes. He rolls his eyes and tries to think of the bullshit he’s going to write for the two pages. He’s a quick thinker, it’s not a big deal for him. Certainly not as big a deal as it is for Black, who hasn’t even taken out his pencil yet. Or Mary, who’s just staring out of the window, lost in thought. James takes a deep breath and sets his pencil on the paper.

Not even five minutes of silence have passed before Snape starts coughing loudly in a way that is clearly fake. “McGonagall? May I leave to drink a cup of water?”

Ms. McGonagall looks up from her papers and raises her thin eyebrow. “We have a water fountain at the back of the classroom, Mr. Snape. Take a cup from the shelf above it, please. And do so quietly.”

“Right, okay”, Snape says, still coughing on his sleeve. He stands up to make his way to the back of the class.

James goes back to writing his essay on how cellphones are actually the greatest cause of disruption in classrooms all over the country and therefore a threat to democracy. All mindless bullshit, sure, but it’s going to earn him the two pages full of text.

“What’s that?” Mary’s voice interrupts his efforts. They all, McGonagall included, look in the direction Mary’s looking at. She’s staring out of the window again, this time with a baffled look on her face.

“What’s what?” McGonagall asks. James is sure she’s just as annoyed as any of them to be there, and probably just wants to go home to her millions of cats or whoever she lives with.

“That”, Mary repeats, pointing at the window. 

James gets out of his seat first, taking a few leaps across the room to get to the windows.

Outside a pack of wild teenage boys are running around. Someone’s driving a car on the school yard, with other boys crammed into it. Two people hang on the roof of the car, while others run around it with banners and other crap in their hands. They’ve sprayed the hood of the car with the words Death Eaters . Right.

Snape’s suddenly standing beside James, a water cup in his hands. He turns to look at Sirius, who’s still sitting at his desk. “Death Eaters, huh? Those are your people, aren’t they?”

Sirius shoots him a dark look, not even bothering to answer. Some time last year, maybe around Christmas holidays, Snape posted on his gossip app, Half-blood Prince , claiming that Sirius had attempted to kill him. Seeing the way they look at each other, it’s not as implausible as it seemed then.

McGonagall sighs and gets up from behind her desk. She walks behind Mary, who’s staring at the scene below her with a concerned face. James walks up beside her and sets his hand on her shoulder, giving her a warm smile. Even if they aren’t close, he still knows how those people, the self-titled “Death Eaters” that are actually just a group of insecure boys who blame women for all of their problems, had been harassing Mary the whole of last year.

Mary returns his smile, even if her expression falters a little, as she glances behind him and sees Snape and Black behind James.

McGonagall has apparently seen enough. She claps her hands together and looks at all the students, giving them a warning look. “Return to your seats, please. I will go take care of… that . You focus on your essays. Am I understood?”

They go back to their places and James finds himself making eye contact with Meadowes. She’s clearly lost in her thoughts, but offers James a tight smile as she notices their eyes meeting. James adjusts his glasses and sits back down.

The sound is muffled by the school walls, but he can still hear the distant chanting: “Death Eaters rise! Death Eaters rise!”

What a bunch of idiotic assholes.

Dorcas

Dorcas Meadowes tries her best to concentrate on the essay. It’s a piece of cake, writing two pages about the importance of peace in the classrooms. She can throw a couple of viewpoints there that every teacher shares anyway, and be done with it.

If only Severus fucking Snape would stop talking.

He clearly took the sign of the teacher leaving as a place for him to start doing whatever he wants. And what he wants, always, is to disrupt other people’s peace. Sure, his app, Half-blood Prince , is read by basically everybody in Canterton High School, but that’s simply because Snape reveals the secrets of every single student there. No one actually enjoys reading it for the sake of him.

“Meadowes, for God’s sake. Are you actually still writing the essay?” Snape drawls behind her, his slimy presence disrupting her peace.

“What the fuck do you want from me?” Dorcas snaps, spinning on her chair to look at Snape in the eye.

Snape smirks. “Oh, I don’t know. Naturally I was just curious as to how you of all people have ended up here on the first day of school. I bet I’m not the only one.”

Dorcas rolls her eyes. Before she can even think whether she should bother to answer or not, Snape turns around to face the whole classroom and wanders to the front, the water cup still in his hands.

“Really, when you think about it, it’s such a funny thing to see you all in here”, he says, stretching his words like a supervillain from a comic book. He turns his mean gaze to Black, who’s just sitting at his chair, arms folded and a bored look on his face. “I mean, except for you of course. What did you do this time? Were you just late? Or did you mistake your teacher for a customer?”

Black’s face darkens. “I don’t do that shit anymore.”

Snape lets out a humorless laugh. “Whatever you say, Black.”

“But seriously though. You’re all like characters from a badly written theater play about high school”, he continues, looking at everyone’s annoyed and confused faces with amusement. “Black’s the bad boy, obviously. Dorcas is the smart nerd, and Potter’s the jock. Which leaves just Mary, the princess. Say hi to your little girlfriend for me.”

Mary folds her arms, still standing in front of the windows. “Take a hint, Snape. Lily is not into losers like you.”

Snape smiles, his eyes twinkling. “Perhaps I wasn’t talking about Lily here.”

Dorcas flexes her fingers and sees a little shadow of doubt cross through Mary’s face. It is gone as quickly as it had appeared, and after that Mary just looks at Snape, one eyebrow raised, challenging him. 

James clears his throat, pointing at himself. “Okay. So if I’m the jock, Mary’s the princess, Black’s the criminal and Dorcas is the brains, who are you? The creep?”

Snape snorts. “Good guess, Potter. But no. I would like to think of myself as the narrator. I know all about your secrets - even yours, Meadowes.”

Dorcas smiles at him, not even trying to hide her disdain. “I have nothing to hide, Severus.”

“That’s what you want them all to think”, Snape replies smugly, taking a sip of his cup. “Anyway. I am not a character like you, I am the one who pulls the strings. I am God himself. And you will all dance to -”

His sentence gets cut by a coughing fit. This time it sounds way more real than his earlier little theater. Dorcas exchanges glances with James, who looks a bit concerned as Snape’s fit just goes on. The cup falls out of his grasp, water splashing all over the floor. Snape claws at his neck, and it’s starting to look like he can’t breathe.

As he falls to the floor, Dorcas jumps on her feet and rushes to his side. At her heels comes James and probably the rest two.

“Sev! Sev, can you breathe?” Dorcas asks, falling to her knees and looking at the boy, whose face is turning bright red, as panic settles into her body. Snape’s eyes look big and panicked and his chest is falling up and down - he’s choking.

“It’s an allergic reaction!” Someone shouts from behind her back. “We need a pen!”

“Okay”, Dorcas says, tugging at her braids. “Okay. Someone search Snape’s bag for an EpiPen. And someone go to the nurse. Now.”

James launches out of the room, leaving the door ajar. Sirius lunges for Snape’s bag and starts rummaging through it, items flying out of it. Dorcas stays by Snape’s side, reaching for her phone. Her hands are shaking as Snape’s whole body twitches in front of her, but she manages to call the emergency number in just seconds.

“What the fuck is happening?” Mary says, probably more to herself than anyone else. She’s the only one just standing in the middle of the room, looking mortified. She holds herself, wrapping her tiny body in her arms.

“Find McGonagall”, Sirius barks at her.

Mary stares at him for a second, looking like she doesn’t understand the words that have just come out of his mouth. The moment passes, and she gets on her feet and runs out of the classroom, making her way through the tables and chairs.

“The ambulance is on its way”, a male voice promises to Dorcas. She snaps back into the moment and realises that she’s already called 911 and explained the situation.

“Right, thank you. Please, hurry up!” she says. Snape’s face is completely red and his body is still twitching. His nose is running, but the worst of it all is that Dorcas can’t hear his breathing anymore.

“We’re doing the best we can”, the voice assures. Dorcas lets her phone fall on the floor, as she takes Snape’s arm to check his pulse.

“Black”, she says, her voice pleading. “Black, I don’t think he’s breathing.”

Sirius looks up from the bag, which seems to be empty of its contents by now, but with no sign of an EpiPen. His face is even whiter than usual. “Start CPR, then! The ambulance is on its way, right?”

“Yeah”, Dorcas says. “Yeah.”

“Good”, Black says. He looks at the door. “Where the fuck is Potter?”

Just as Dorcas starts CPR, unsure of if she’s even doing it correctly because the last time she did it, it was practice and nowhere near as scary as this, a group of people burst through the doors.

McGonagall is leading the way. She runs to them, paying little attention to anything else but Snape laying on the floor. She takes one look at Dorcas and sits beside her. “Let me handle this.”

Dorcas obeys and gives space for McGonagall to take her place. “The ambulance is coming”, she says.

James comes running to them. The look in his eyes is wild. “The nurse wasn’t there. Neither were the pens.”

“What?” Dorcas shouts, shaking her head. “That can’t be right. I’m going back there.”

Before anyone answers, she’s already out of the classroom, running through the empty corridors to get to the nurse’s office on the second floor. Why the fuck is the nurse’s office located in the second fucking floor?

Just as she turns from the corner to get to the stairs, a group of paramedics comes running from the other direction. They keep on going without paying attention to Dorcas. For a moment she stops, faltering and wondering whether she should still keep going. The paramedics probably have all they need already and her help isn’t needed anymore, but it feels wrong to just… stop?

So she keeps going. She runs the stairs, taking two steps at a time and reaches the nurse’s office. James was right: there is no one there. All the shelves are open and all the boxes and their contents are scattered across the room. No EpiPens anywhere. How is that even possible? Dorcas grabs her hair, wanting to tear it out completely.

She returns to the classroom with empty hands. Snape is already gone, as are the paramedics and Ms. McGonagall. Potter is standing there, in the middle of the classroom, looking completely lost. Mary sits by his side, staring at her feet, but lifts her gaze as Dorcas enters the room.

“What happened?” Dorcas asks, lingering by the doorway.

Sirius, who’s sitting on one of the tables with his head in his hands, shrugs. “They took him to the hospital.”

James bites his lip, looking uncharacteristically unsure of himself. “We don’t know if he’s gonna be okay.”

Dorcas drops her gaze. “Fuck.”

Chapter Text

Mary

Mary is trying to take deep breaths just like James instructed her to, but she still feels as if she’s choking on air. She feels the need to clutch at her throat just like Snape-

“I didn’t know an allergy could be that… scary”, James says, rubbing his hands on Mary’s back. They’re standing outside the school building, all four of them, waiting for a teacher to come and tell them that they’re allowed to go home.

“Yeah”, Mary says in between gasps of air and tears. “Fuck.”

Dorcas stands next to them, leaning onto the brick wall. Mary doesn’t really know her, but in the few classes that they share, she’s used to seeing Dorcas looking like she doesn’t give a damn about anyone or anything. Now that expression is gone. Even Sirius Black looks shaken.

“We did the best we could, though”, James says, always the optimist. “I’m sure he’s gonna be okay.”

“James, stop”, Mary says, wiping the tears off her face and looking him in the eye. “I can’t stand your hopefulness right now.”

Dorcas leans out from the wall and readjusts her sunglasses. She’s very beautiful with her long braids, deep green clothes and golden jewellery against her dark skin. Even when she looks like she’s been through a rough time.

“James is right, though. We did the best we could”, she says. Her eyes turn to Sirius, who’s sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall. “You knew immediately what to do.”

Sirius looks at them, an unrecognizable expression in his blue eyes. He shrugs. “My brother has a peanut allergy. I knew Snape has it, too.”

He talks like it's a well-known fact, but Mary didn't know. Her thoughts definitely didn't go to 'peanut allergy' first, when Snape's body started twitching on the floor.

And Sirius' brother has it too? Since when did he even have a brother?

“Yeah”, James says, trying to flash a reassuring smile but the scared look in his eyes gives him away. “We did good.”

The sinking feeling in Mary’s stomach says otherwise. She knows the others can feel the black hole tugging at them too. What if…?

The school doors open. A middle aged man with graying hair and a round face walks toward them. Mr Slughorn. “You can all leave, now”, he says, trying to paste a comforting expression onto his face. “We’ll be hearing from the hospital at some point, I assume. Right now I would just encourage you all to go home and get a good night’s sleep.”

What a wonderful piece of advice.

No one protests him, though - they’re all just grateful to leave the school building behind. Mary doesn’t stay around to see how everyone else gets home, and instead she starts walking toward the parking lot.

Once she gets into her car, she takes her phone from her pocket and searches for a name. She can already feel the tears pooling in her eyes, again.

It’s just… Snape looked so scary. Like he was actually dying.

“Hello?” The phone doesn’t even ring before the voice answers her.

“Em, please. Something horrible happened. Can I please come over?” Mary barely gets the words out before she starts sobbing again.

Emmeline Vance lets out a concerned sigh. “Yeah, yeah of course. What happened? Can you drive? Do I need to get you?”

Mary tries to calm down and takes a deep breath, looking at the roof of her car. “No. No, I can drive. I just can’t be alone right now, okay?”

“Uh-huh, sure. I’ll be waiting for you with hot chocolates and whatever you need.”

Mary shakes her head, more to herself than anyone else. “I just need you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m here.”

She ends the call with shaky hands and sticks the car key to the lock. She starts the engine and after wiping the tears off her face so that she can actually see something, Mary drives out of the parking lot.

Ten minutes later she drives onto the yard of Emmeline’s house and parks the car beside Emmeline’s family’s car. She shuts the engine and hops out of the car, still feeling like the world is ending.

Emmeline runs out of the front door, a concerned look on her face. She envelopes Mary into a hug, running her long fingers through Mary’s curly hair. Mary can’t help but melt into Emmeline’s arms.

“What happened?” Emmeline asks into the crook of Mary’s neck.

Mary steps out of the hug and stares at the ground. She fights the lump in her throat to get the words out.  “In the detention I- uhm, Snape was there and he…”

“Oh my god, what did he do?”

“No, no, he didn’t do anything”, Mary hurries to clarify after seeing Emmeline’s face. “He, um… he got an allergic reaction, I think. Like a really bad one. He was… oh my god, Emmeline, you should’ve seen it. It was so scary…”

The tears are rolling down her cheeks again, but Emmeline just takes her into her arms again and murmurs comforting words into her hair. “It’s okay, Mary. It’s gonna be okay.”

“We don’t know that”, Mary says, trying not to choke on her sobs. “What if the ambulance came too late?”

Emmeline shakes her head gently and kisses the top of Mary’s head. “Let’s go inside, okay? We’ll get you something to eat and then we can watch a movie or something. It’s gonna be okay, mm?”

The black hole under Mary’s feet doesn’t agree, but she allows herself to be guided inside and buries her head into Emmeline’s arms. The door closes behind them.

Dorcas

Dorcas stares at her phone in disbelief. She’s sitting on her living room floor, a bag of chips opened next to her legs. She never eats chips during the week, and rarely on the weekends.

“What is it?” her cousin and best friend, Pandora Rosier asks. She puts one chip in her mouth while looking at Dorcas with growing concern.

Dorcas opens her mouth but no words come out. She looks at Pandora’s soft, round face and then back at her phone. Someone must be messing with her.

Pandora scoots closer and takes the phone from Dorcas’ lap. She reads the text message herself and by the end of it, sets the phone down on the floor, looking very serious. The big house around them is quiet. All that air and space, and yet Dorcas feels like she’s suffocating.

“Are you sure this is real?” Pandora asks. Her voice is very quiet and very small. Her big brown eyes are glossy.

Dorcas swallows. She shakes her head. “I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t know.”

Pandora reaches over and ties her arms around Dorcas’ body. Neither of them say anything, they just sit there on the floor. The sun is starting to set behind the huge windows of the living room. The sky looks almost blood red. Dorcas feels ill.

“How is it even possible?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper. “He was so… infuriatingly alive just a moment before. He was talking about how we were just some characters in a story and he himself is God. How can it even- ?"

Pandora sniffs and holds Dorcas tighter. Dorcas wants to speak more about it, she wants to do something, to make sense of it all. Because it makes no sense. How could someone take a sip of water and then just be gone?

Dorcas sits up straighter, turning to stare at Pandora. “Black said something about a peanut allergy. He said Snape had a peanut allergy. But he just took a sip of water, so how-”

“There are so many ways”, Pandora interrupts her. Her eyes are soft but sad. “One way or another there could’ve been remnants of peanut in the cup. Or maybe it wasn’t a reaction to the water at all, maybe he’d eaten something else before coming to the detention. I love you, Cassie, but there are so many ways.”

Dorcas slouches. “Yeah, right.”

She puts her head on Pandora’s shoulder, feeling a heavy weight on her chest. “It just isn’t right”, she whispers. “That’s such a small thing. To lose a life over an insignificant coincidence like that… that’s terrible, Panda.”

“I know, Cassie, I know.”

Dorcas moves her legs and the bag of chips rustles as her foot touches it. They already ate almost half of it. Maybe they should eat a bit more. Or, while they’re at it, maybe they should just drink?

No. Of course not. Dorcas would never do such a thing. She knows that. Her parents know that. The whole of Canterton High knows that. And if she got drunk in the middle of the week, word would somehow get out as it always does, no matter what happens in this town. The next morning, everyone would read about it in Half-blood Prince.

Except they wouldn’t. Dorcas has to take a sharp breath, when that same anxiety inducing trail of thought she’s followed for years stops into a brick wall. No one would read about it on Half-blood Prince . Because the prince himself is dead.

Pandora seems to sense the way her thoughts are moving in her head. She reaches out her hand full of rings and bangles and paints circles on Dorcas’ arm with the light touch of her finger. “It’s a shock to everybody, okay? I mean, I’ve understood everybody in this town more or less hated him, but still. No one deserves to die like that.”

“Yeah”, Dorcas says. She stares at the white, blank ceiling.

The next day comes with rain clouds and a harsh wind. Naturally, everyone has already heard the news. The atmosphere is strange: people aren’t as loud as they usually are and a gloomy cloud seems to be hanging over the whole school, but at the same time the rumors are going around, even faster than usual. They get passed between students in whispers and cryptic text messages.

This time, though, as there is no Half-blood Prince to provide everyone with what happened, the rumors are more scattered and possibly even wilder than before. Half-blood Prince was the number one source for gossip and scandals in Canterton High for almost three years. Everyone knew it was Snape who pulled the strings there, and though they all hated it, there was a dark, twisted part to everyone that made them love it too. With that much power, Snape had apparently made sure to bear the responsibility too: everything he ever wrote about was always true. Not one post had been revealed to be fake, not even the most outlandish ones.

The big crowd has no such moral codes. They can spread whichever rumors they like, no matter how obviously fake they are. Dorcas is so fucking exhausted of it after ten minutes of being at the school.

“Did you get any sleep last night?” a voice appears behind Dorcas. She turns around, mildly surprised. She isn’t used to talking to anyone at the school; she says she prefers her peace, but some part of her mind thinks that it might not be the whole truth. Whatever the reason, she’s used to spending her days with her books, texting with Pandora on breaks.

The person behind her is Sirius Black. He’s wearing his usual leather jacket today and his black curls are falling in front of his face, conveniently covering his tired eyes.

Dorcas raises her eyebrows. “I know one of us didn’t.”

Sirius lowers his gaze, running his hand through his hair. He looks almost embarrassed. “Yeah, well. It was a shitty fate, even for Sniv- Snape.”

Dorcas decides to soften a little and nods. “I know. And no, I couldn’t really sleep either.”

Sirius glances around warily, and not without a reason. Most people are going their own way to their classes, but a few people are staring at them. Sirius offers her a tight smile and nods, before slipping away into the crowd.

Dorcas shakes the moment off her shoulders and heads to her locker. She has Maths as her first lesson, so she grabs her books and a water bottle before heading to her class.

A few people glance her way when Dorcas walks into the classroom and sits in her usual place. She doesn’t shy away from their gazes, but deep inside she does feel quite uncomfortable. Usually the people in AP Maths aren’t the kind of people to care about idle gossip, but this isn’t just gossip. Dorcas feels sick to her stomach, but does her best to sit up straight and keep her mind on the matter at hand: Maths.

“Good morning”, the teacher says, as he makes his way to the front of the class. He’s a short man with a thick mustache and he looks about as tired as Dorcas feels. “We will begin the class with some very heavy news. I’m sure most of you are already aware, but one of our students passed away yesterday. Severus Snape was a dearly loved part of our community, and I feel heavy sadness by having to announce this, but unfortunately he is no longer with us. He suffered a severe allergic reaction at detention yesterday, and although help was called immediately, it came too late and, unfortunately, he passed away in the hospital.”

Mr. Flitwick takes a shaky breath. His eyes meet Dorcas’ for a passing moment, and Dorcas sees the uncertainty in his watery, blue eyes. She tries to swallow the feeling in her throat away.

“These are hard times for all of us, so the school has provided conversational help to everyone who feels like they might need it. Now more than ever, my dear students, I encourage you to ask for help if you need it and do not stay alone with your thoughts.”

Flitwick probably talks some more, but Dorcas doesn’t hear any more of it. She stares at the cover of her maths book and focuses on breathing in and out. In and out. Deep breaths. Stable breaths. It’s fine. She’s fine.

“Oh, and Dorcas”, Flitwick says, seemingly out of nowhere, startling Dorcas from her thoughts, “The principal wants to see you. I’m sure someone will help you afterwards with the work we’ll do on this lesson. How about you, McKinnon?”

Dorcas’ eyes wander to the girl sitting on the left side of the classroom, wearing as heavy makeup as the school allows and all-black clothes. Oh. Marlene McKinnon. Great, this is fucking great.

Marlene plasters the fakest smile on her face and nods. “Sure, Mr. Flitwick. I’m happy to help.”

The teacher doesn’t seem to notice how teeth-rottingly sweet her words are. Instead he just smiles relievedly. “Great. You may go now, Meadowes.”

Dorcas packs her bag and hurries out of the classroom, feeling twenty pairs of eyes on her back. Oh, this is gonna be a great fucking day.

Chapter Text

Sirius

Tuesday, September 23

The other three people are already sitting in the principal’s office as Sirius appears on the doorway. He flashes an apologetic smile to the principal, who just meets his gaze with a blank face. Principal Jenkins has always been quite the mystery to Sirius, he never knows where he stands with her.

“Sit down, Mr. Black”, principal Jenkins says. She gestures for the last free seat between Dorcas and James. Sirius sits down and glances at the others, who look pretty worried. The room they’re in is familiar to Sirius by now: the sturdy wooden table full of neat folders and different items separating the students and the principal’s huge armchair, the bookshelves behind her, the blue curtains on the windows. He has never seen it so full of people, though.

“So”, the principal starts, crossing her arms on the table. “I understand you’ve all been through a terrible trauma. We don’t want you to stay alone with your thoughts, so we have booked you all a conversation with the school psychologist. Whether you’d like to go together with someone or alone is up to you.”

Principal Jenkins takes a pause to reach for the chest of drawers below the table and pulls out a set of papers. She hands them out to everyone with a warm smile. “These are your times. I want to encourage each one of you to use this opportunity and go have a little chat with the psychologist. What you witnessed yesterday must’ve been hard, so it’s important to talk about it.” For some reason she glances at Sirius when she says this.

Sirius looks down at the paper in his hands. 2 PM, today. Right, yeah. He already knows he’s not going. There is no reason for him to go have a little teary chat with a stranger. He knows he’s not above human emotions and all that, but there is no world where he would go talk about his problems to a fucking school psychologist. He’s already had his fair share of people who “just want to help” and he knows it’s all bullshit.

Apparently Principal Jenkins isn’t done talking just yet. She leans over the table a bit closer to them, as if they’re all in on a secret. “Now, this second thing isn’t going to take much time. Ten minutes, at most. This is nothing to be scared of, but the police would like to ask you all a couple of questions of how it all happened. Just so that everything is clear. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

James and Mary can be seen exchanging glances, but no one says anything. The principal gives them all a final warm smile before getting up from her seat and opening the door for a police officer. She greets him and leaves the room quickly after.

The police officer crosses over to the principal’s place. He greets them with a polite smile and nod. Against his expectations, Sirius hasn’t met this officer before. The man is probably in his thirties and he’s sporting a thick mustache with a pair of thin-framed glasses. He sits down on the armchair, looking as if he’s bracing himself.

“So, as I’m sure principal Jenkins already told you, this is just to make sure we have the whole picture of what happened to Mr. Severus Snape yesterday”, he starts. “I’m George Jones from Canterton’s police station. I’ve got a couple questions for you, just to clear things up. Is that all right with you?”

“Sure”, Meadowes answers for all of them.

“Good”, Officer Jones says. “So, we haven’t been able to confirm the cause of Severus’ death yet, as the autopsy results are yet to come. But we’ve got enough evidence to suspect that he died as a result of his peanut allergy. Now, we would still like to hear from you what events took place yesterday in detention.”

James gives him an uncertain look. “Should we just start from the beginning, or?”

Officer Jones nods. “That would be ideal, yes. We just want to hear it in your own words.”

James takes a breath, glancing at the others. “Okay. I can tell you.” He starts telling the events of the detention with more details than Sirius would’ve gone with. The officer stops him a few times to ask a question, but mostly James just talks, recounting every step of the hour they spent in detention. Mary and Dorcas offer a few comments in between, but Sirius couldn’t be arsed to say anything.

Once James stops talking, officer Jones is silent for a few seconds. Sirius glances at Dorcas, but she’s staring determinedly at the bookshelves just behind officer Jones' left ear. She looks pretty tired, but she also hides it well. There seems to be reasons behind her reputation as a tough kid who manages everything on her own and does it flawlessly, too. Sirius can’t recall a single post on Half-blood Prince mentioning Dorcas. Either she’s just a perfect human being or then she’s just extremely good at covering her footprints.

“Do any of you have something to add to this story?” officer Jones asks.

“No, not really. I think Potter explained everything like it happened”, Sirius says, leaning backwards in his chair.

The officer looks for confirmation from MacDonald and Meadowes and as they both agree with Sirius, he nods. “Alright, then. One last question: do any of you have any idea why there were traces of peanut oil in the cup Mr. Snape drank from?”

Sirius stares at the officer. What?

Dorcas looks shocked. “I had no idea. Is that…?”

Mary and James seem just as confused, so the officer nods. “So none of you knew of this? If you have any idea how it could’ve gotten there, we would really appreciate the help.”

No one says anything.

“Okay, then, I think we’re done here. Thank you for your time.”

“Thank you, officer”, Dorcas says, offering him a polite smile. Sirius understands it best to also give a polite smile before getting up from his chair and following the others out of the room.

Mary turns on her heels the second the door shuts close behind them. “What does this mean?” she asks, almost furious, looking at each of them.

“Nothing, probably”, Dorcas says. She looks like she couldn’t care less about any of this, but Sirius isn’t all that convinced she really feels that way. “Snape was only seventeen, after all. They want to make sure they got the cause of his death right.”

She shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Would be awful for his parents if they got it wrong.”

Mary

“Mary, honey, I love you but you must eat something.”

Mary lifts her head up from her hands and looks at Lily Evans, who’s looking at her with the softest smile on her face. Lily’s a pretty girl, with her fluffy ginger hair, freckled face and a slight bump in her nose. She’s one of those girls who always have a happy-looking face even when they are not happy at all. 

She reaches over the table and grabs Mary’s wrist. “Seriously, Mary.”

Mary swallows and allows Lily to hold her hand over the cafeteria table. People all around them are eating and discussing loudly whether Snape’s death was an accident or not. Even the people at their table are talking about it.

Mary makes eye contact with James, who sits on the other side of the table, in between his best friend Peter Pettigrew and Emmeline. He is hiding his discomfort way better than Mary is, he even laughs at some of Peter’s attempts at joking about something that happened in a soccer match a few days before. Mary can’t even bring herself to look at Emmeline, who held her the entire last night as she cried in her arms. Emmeline isn’t looking at Mary either, as she’s busy drawing on Hestia Jones’ hand.

“Here”, Lily says, handing over an apple. “Eat this. I’m not asking.”

Mary takes the apple and looks at it as if it’s the poison apple from Snow White. Then she sees Lily’s stern expression and pulls herself together. “Alright, alright, Evans!”

She takes a bite off the apple, and even if it tastes sour in her mouth, she makes herself swallow it all. The more bites she takes under Lily’s unwavering gaze, the more it starts to taste like sand in her mouth.

Mary looks over Lily’s shoulder to see a girl sitting by herself, a few tables away from them. She has pulled the hood of her shirt to cover most of her face, but there’s no mistaking her. With her blonde strands tucking out from under the hood and chipped nails covered in black nail polish, it’s the best - and only - friend of Severus Snape. Emma… Emma something? Mary can’t remember her whole name for the life of her.

She pokes at Lily’s shoulder. “Should I go talk to her?”

Lily looks in the same direction as Mary. “What? Her? Why?”

Mary sets the half-eaten apple on the table and shrugs. “I don’t know! She just lost her best friend yesterday and now she’s just sitting there, all alone. That’s horrible, Lily!”

A couple of younger students bump into Lily’s chair as they’re running through the cafeteria, bickering about something and laughing at the same time. Lily gives them an ominous look before turning back to Mary. She leans her head on her hands, thinking. “I don’t know, Mary. I don’t know if she would appreciate the gesture. Maybe she would, or maybe she just wants to be left alone.”

Between the apple and the gloomy girl sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, Mary chooses the girl. She stands up from her place, gathering the attention of every person on her table. She offers them a sweet but tired smile. 

“I’m just gonna go there”, she says, and leaves the table before Lily can ask any more questions.

The cafeteria is a pretty anxiety inducing place if you happen to be there alone. It’s just so full of people and loud noises. You have to watch your every step, if you don’t want to bump into anybody or get splashed with spaghetti or something. Mary tugs at the sleeves of her baby pink sweater and makes her way carefully through the crowd, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Emma Something sits on her table with her knees against the table. She’s on her phone, not caring at all that there’s a whole world outside of her bubble. Mary approaches the table warily, becoming more and more unsure with each step. Emma doesn’t look like the kind of person Mary would usually talk to, with her ripped up black jeans and huge hoodie with a picture of a pretty aggressive-looking dog on its back. She wears huge combat boots and uses a lot of eyeliner. It’s pretty much the opposite of Mary’s style, which includes mostly pastel colors and everything cute and comfortable.

But who knows, maybe they’re more similar when it comes to other things?

“What do you want?” Emma’s voice sounds raspy. The makeup on her face has blurred a bit on her face.

Mary just stands there for a second. “I… I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I mean I… I know you were his best friend and… yeah. I’m sorry.”

Emma’s face darkens and she looks at Mary grimly. “Don’t pretend like you care.”

Mary fiddles with the pink ribbon on her hair. “I do care.” She steps closer, a bit desperately. “I do care. It was awful for us so I can’t even imagine how it must be for you.”

Emma scoffs. “Yeah, well, thanks for making me feel worse. I don’t need your fake pity, MacDonald.”

The girls sitting on a table next to them aren’t even pretending like they aren’t listening to the conversation. Mary shakes her head. “No, Emma, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just -”

“Yeah, whatever”, Emma stops her and stands up, grabbing her stuff. Now Mary remembers her last name: Vanity. Emma Vanity. A curious name, for sure.

“Emma, please, let me explain”, she says, but the other girl just looks at her angrily. She starts getting away, but turns on her heels. Her green eyes are blaring lightning. 

“I know you’re just scared of what he was about to post.”

Chapter Text

James

Friday, September 26

The fluorescent lamp above James lights every corner of the tiny room he’s in. He sits at a table, next to his father and right across from a police officer. The cause of Snape’s death has been confirmed to be a notable amount of peanut oil he ingested just moments before his death. The police are currently investigating where the peanut oil could’ve gotten into the cup, so they need to interview the four people who were in the room with him when it all happened. That’s what the officer told James while his stomach made multiple backflips all at once.

“You didn’t see anyone come or go from the classroom, is that right?”

The officer is the same as the one that visited the four of them at school. He looks a bit sleep-deprived, but at least he’s friendly enough. And, although James wouldn’t admit it to his friends, it feels better to have his father with him.

James shakes his head. “I didn’t. I mean, Ms. McGonagall went to look at what the Death Eaters were doing, but that’s all.”

The officer asks him to describe, once again, what the Death Eaters were doing and what James knows about them. He can’t tell him much since he doesn’t know much, but he does his best to describe the situation.

Officer Jones clicks his pen. “You told me Severus was giving you some kind of speech before his collapse.”

James’ father takes his son’s hand under the table and rubs it gently. James nods. “Yeah. He was. I don’t remember his exact words, but he said something dramatic about how the four of us were like characters in a badly written theater play. How I’m the stereotypical jock, MacDonald’s the princess, Black’s the bad boy and Meadowes is the smart nerd. I asked him who he was in that play, and he answered something like ‘ I’m not a character, I’m above the story, I’m God’ . Something like that.”

As James recounts Snape’s  last words, his chest grows holes. The air passes through them and he is awashed with a fresh wave of guilt and grief. His father doesn’t let go of his hand, but his dark eyes are full of worry.

Officer Jones offers him a cup of water, but when James declines, he presses on. “Can you tell me more about this gossip app of his? Were you ever featured on it?”

“A couple of times, yeah”, James says, trying to pull himself together by the seams not to break down in tears in front of the officer. “Uhm. He wrote about me and my ex-girlfriend’s relationship a few times. Mostly when we got together and when we broke up.”

“Did that bother you at all?”

“A bit, sure. But I didn’t lose sleep over it or anything.”

“Did you know him on a personal level?”

James scratches the back of his neck. “Not really.”

White lies don’t matter, right?

Officer Jones nods and clicks his pen. He stares at the papers in front of him for a moment, before turning to look at James and his father again. “That’s all, then. Thank you for your cooperation, it has been very helpful.”

Later that day, James lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling. It feels weird to be like this, with no people around him, nothing to do and no voices except the distant clatter of dishes from the kitchen where his parents are finishing up their dinner.

It’s been almost a week since Snape died. It feels like a lifetime and yet, James will probably never get used to the thought. That Severus Snape is dead. He was creepy and he was irritating, even scary to some, but always definitely alive. In James’ eyes, he was always just a pathetic little guy who thought a little too much of himself, but never in his life would James have wished death upon the guy. More like therapy or something.

Many people seem to not even care that much. They haven’t been interviewed by the police, so they don’t see the situation for its graveness the way James does. Earlier that day, at school lunch, James got into an argument with Adrian Carpenter, one of his best friends. They’d been eating lunch at their usual table and Peter was just telling some funny story about a girl he’d broken up with a few weeks before. Lily was telling him to shut up and stop being such a dick to the girls he dated, when Emma Vanity ran across the cafeteria, almost knocking Hestia’s chair down on her way.

“Watch where you’re going!” someone shouted at her back, but the girl ran away and didn’t stop to look back.

Adrian leaned closer on the table and smirked, rolling his eyes. “I heard she had a huge crush on Snape. Must’ve been a shame when he chose to die rather than go out with her.”

Dirk Creswell, who is also a part of the school’s soccer team alongside James, scoffed. “Too soon, Carpenter.”

Adrian shrugged smugly. “I’m just saying, Dirk. It’s not like good old Snivellus had much game anyway. Not with those greasy locks of his.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “I heard he only lost his virginity last spring. And some people are saying it was because he… you know, forced her.”

“What the fuck, Adrian?”

Adrian had the nerve to look shocked at James’ angry face. “What? I’m not saying it’s true, I just -”

James slammed his hand perhaps a bit too hard on the table, but he was too furious to care. “The guy is dead, do you understand? It has been five days !”

Adrian looked at him like he was crazy. “Well yeah, James, I know. It’s all everybody’s been talking about for the past week.”

“And”, Peter piped up, “Not to defend Adrian, but just because Snape’s dead doesn’t mean he was a good guy.”

James just stared at them. The silence over the table was deafening and Adrian looked at him like James was the insane one. He stood up and muttered: “I can’t fucking believe his shit.” 

Then he just walked away.

Emmeline had sent him a message later that day, saying that Adrian seemed like he actually regretted his words, but James ignored it. It wasn’t her fault, of course, but he’d rather not discuss these things with her. Especially after not even she had defended him at lunch. 

No one in that table, except for Lily Evans, had any better reason to hate Snape than the gossip he’d spread about them over the years. Yes, he had been mean and often ruthless by announcing Peter’s family’s financial struggles or how ugly Mary’s and Adrian’s break up had been before they made up. But one thing none of them couldn’t deny was that he had always been right. None of them were baseless lies, it was always all true - and that's what drove everyone mad. James himself had hated Snape for spreading details about his and Lily’s short-lived relationship, but after seeing Snape die literally in front of his eyes… It puts things into perspective.

Now the police know he died after ingesting peanut oil from his water cup. That means James watched Snape not just die, but also accidentally kill himself. All four of them in that room had the power to save his life and they couldn’t do it. Chills sink into James’ bones like small teeth.

James rolls onto his stomach and grabs his phone from his bedside table. Like trying to catch a ghost with his hands, he goes straight for the Half-blood Prince -app. It’s a ridiculous name, always has been, but now he kind of wishes he knew where it came from. Did Snape really think of himself as this larger-than-life -figure?

He scrolls onto the latest publication, posted just seven hours before Snape’s death. James clicks it open and starts reading it, even though he already knows what’s in it. What would become the last post of his life is Snape all over. He searched for phrases on magazines, blogs, news articles and basically any text he could find - even better if he could quote students’ personal messages - and annotated them with his own commentary. Seeing the text still makes James’ stomach drop.

BACK TO SCHOOL, CANTERTON! Many people dread the beginning of the school year. - There’s some delicious gossip to tame that terrible pain

Keep to your place and wait for your turn. - Justice will be served.

Hang onto your seats! Tomorrow’s movie is gonna be a blast - A few very ugly secrets will come to light

Be there or be square! - Half-blood Prince

Whatever it was that Snape wanted to reveal, he never got around to it. James has been trying to tell himself for the past week that it was probably just another cheating scandal involving popular kids or some shit like that, but he hasn’t been able to silence the small voice in the back of his head that says otherwise. In the morning Snape posts this declaration and in the evening, he is dead. That's one hell of a coincidence.

James shivers and tosses the phone out of his hand. It’s only 9 PM, he could still go out for a run. Maybe it’d help with his spinning head. He could shake the police station air off his shoulders and maybe he could forget the image of Snape’s body for a moment.

“James dear, where are you going?” His mother appears in the doorway as James is putting his running shoes on. He looks up and gives her a smile.

“Just for a run”, he says. His mother crosses her arms, leaning on the living room doorway. She’s a head shorter than James, but even the warm and worried look on her face radiates authority. Her hair is already graying and her brown skin is getting more wrinkles almost by the day, but she still has a youthful smile. Only for the past week, it has been shadowed by worry.

“Are you sure, honey? It’s getting dark outside”, his mother says, frowning. James’ father can be heard snoring on the sofa already.

James nods quickly, putting on his most earnest look on his face. “I’m not gonna stay for long, mom.”

“Alright then, James. I’m not going to forbid you from going on a run”, his mother says in a softer tone. “We’re just worried about you, that’s all.”

“I’m fine”, James says quietly. His mother smiles sadly and comes over to hug him. He wraps his arms around her feeble body. 

They stand there for a moment, until his mom lets go and chuckles. “I better go wake up your dad and tell him to go sleep in a real bed.”

“See you, mom! Good night”, James says before stepping out into the darkening, cold night. The street lights will guide his way.

Dorcas

Monday, September 29

The library is luckily almost empty as Dorcas marches inside, a school bag on her shoulder and determination on her mind. It’s good to have some kind of a break from the crowds in other parts of the school building. Sometimes it’s a blessing that most of the people in the school aren’t even there to study.

“Meadowes!”

Of course Marlene McKinnon chose the center of the whole library to have their little study session at. It wasn't enough that they had to delay the meeting by a week and Dorcas is already behind on Maths after a fucking week of school. But apparently Marlene had been “busy”. Yeah, sure.

Dorcas slams her bag on the table a little harder than she’d meant to, but McKinnon doesn’t seem bothered. She offers Dorcas a tight smile and gestures for her to sit down next to her.

Two boys a couple years younger than them are playing on their phones on the table right across from them. The main entrance to the library is just behind them and everyone who wishes to enter the library has to walk past them. What a genius place to have a study session in.

McKinnon lifts her gaze from her laptop and locks eyes with Dorcas. She has an interesting face, kind of captivating in a way. She has put on a whole lot of eyeliner around her eyes and her naturally dark hair is dyed blonde, as can be seen from her dark roots. She’s tied her hair in two pigtails and she’s wearing an oversized t-shirt with a huge Hello Kitty on the front. Not that Dorcas really pays attention to how she looks.

“You’re ready to study, right? You’ve got your books and all that?” Marlene looks at her like Dorcas walks around with half a brain.

“Obviously”, Dorcas sighs. She doesn’t really even know Marlene McKinnon, but something about the girl has always really irritated her.

She pulls out her books and notebooks. “You know, I think we’ll be fine if you just lend me your notes and I take a picture of them. It can’t have been that complicated.”

McKinnon tilts her head. “Sure. If you think you’ll manage.”

“So did you do anything else in that lesson or not?”

McKinnon just looks at her, an almost-smile playing on the corners of her lips. It’s going to drive Dorcas insane if she keeps doing that. “No, no. I don’t think we did.” She sighs. “You know Flitcwick, he’d be pretty lost without his PowerPoints.”

Dorcas can’t help but snort. “True.”

Marlene takes her notebook out of her bag and slides it toward Dorcas. Dorcas takes her phone out of her back pocket and snaps a few pictures. “Is that all?”

“I mean, we did a few things on our laptops too, but I can just email those to you”, Marlene suggests. “I can do it right now, if you want?”

Dorcas shrugs. “Yeah, why not?”

They end up spending another ten minutes on that table, sitting next to each other, as Marlene searches through her endless files of Maths exercises on her laptop. Dorcas mostly just scrolls social media on her phone, but catches the eyes of Marlene wandering to her a couple times. Weird. All of this is completely weird. They’ve spent, what, fifteen minutes together? And suddenly Marlene McKinnon doesn’t seem as insufferable as Dorcas has always thought.

“Okay”, Marlene says, closing the cover of her laptop. “I think that was all.”

Dorcas nods, starting to gather her supplies. “Yeah, thanks McKinnon. That was actually very kind of you.”

Marlene laughs and raises her eyebrow. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

That’s actually a good question. Dorcas just laughs it off, pulling on her nonchalant look. “Oh, I don’t know. You just didn’t sound exactly excited to help me.”

Marlene tilts her head. “Yeah, okay, as I said, I have a busy schedule. And I guess I kinda forgot you’re one of the smartest kids in our year. I thought I had to teach you, so…”

“Yeah, well, lucky you”, Dorcas says and finds herself smiling.

Marlene takes out her phone and smiles shortly at Dorcas. Then her face drops. She looks at her phone for a few seconds before lifting her gaze slowly to Dorcas. Dorcas looks at Marlene in confusion.

She checks her own phone, just in case. Her stomach drops because there it is.

A notification from Half-blood Prince.

It was a real tragedy to see our precious Prince go, wasn’t it?

Don’t lie to yourselves. No one likes a kid who’s trying to play God.

Turns out he’s just as mortal as the rest of us. You all owe me (;

“What the fuck?” Marlene’s voice sounds way higher than just a moment ago. Her face reflects the same panic that’s settling into the pit of Dorcas’ stomach. She glances at the phone in Dorcas’ hand.

“I… I… I don’t know”, Dorcas says. She can barely get the words out. “That’s horrible.”

Marlene looks at her in a different way now. She leans closer, lowering her voice to a whisper. “Is this true? Did you watch someone do it?"

The terrifying answer drops from Dorcas' lips, weighing as heavy as a dead bird. "I don't know."

Chapter Text

Sirius

Tuesday, September 30

There’s no light left on the sky as Sirius parks his motorbike on the unkept lawn of his house. Okay, it’s not exactly his house, but he’s started to think of the shack as his home. Home is where the heart lives, right?

Sirius shuts the engine of his motorbike and yanks the helmet off his head. His curls are a bit sweaty and they stick to the sides of his face, but he just brushes them aside and steps over the tiny yard in a few steps. The street lamp in front of the house hasn’t worked for years, so the place is soaked in darkness. A broken fence separates the block of lawn from the street and the porch barely exists, but it’s fine.

“What took you so long?” a gravelly voice asks as soon as Sirius steps over the doorstep. The house consists of four tiny rooms: the front door leads straight to the living room. There’s also a kitchen to the left, a toilet to the right and a small bedroom in the back of the house.

Sirius sets his helmet on the floor and kicks his shoes off his feet. “Seriously, Moony? No “good evening, Sirius”? “Nice to see you, Sirius”?”

A tall and lanky figure appears at the doorway to the tiny kitchen. Remus Lupin leans onto the doorway, his mouth in a tight line. “Not funny. I was actually starting to get worried.”

Sirius drops his keys and phone on the coffee table and throws himself onto the sofa. “Well, then. I’m sorry.”

“And where were you?” Remus presses. He’s a pretty handsome guy, if you ask Sirius. He has a square jaw and a few scars on his face. He doesn’t really have any muscle or fat in his body, though, which kind of shatters the whole “bad guy” illusion. And also the fact that Remus wouldn’t hurt a fly.

“You know”, Sirius shrugs, not meeting Remus’ eyes. “Had to run a few errands.”

“Jesus, Pads”, Remus sighs, stepping over to sit on an armchair next to the sofa. The room is completely dark and the sofa, beaten down coffee table and the armchair are the only furniture except for a TV that’s sitting in the corner of the room. Remus has apparently already lowered the curtains.

Remus puts his head in his hands, sighing out loud. He looks like a really old man and Sirius can’t help but feel a sting of guilt. Remus might not understand the circumstances he’s under, but this is his house, after all. Or his dad’s, but Lyall Lupin rarely spends time in the house. He’s often gone on business trips - or at least that’s what he calls them and Remus hasn’t dropped the pretense so Sirius hasn’t said anything either. But when he leaves town, his son’s rescue boyfriend comes over to stay in the house. And here he is, once again, ruining Remus’ life.

“I don’t want to fight about this again, but Jesus fucking Christ. I don’t know if I want to even come visit you when you end up in jail”, Remus says, his voice muffled by his hands.

“I won’t get caught”, Sirius says quickly. “This time I won’t.”

“Yeah, you said that for a whole year before you did”, Remus says. “You’re so fucking suicidal it’s not even hot. It’s just sad, Pads.”

Sirius says nothing, because they’ve already had this same exact conversation like fourteen times and it never leads to anything. Instead, he runs his hands through his hair and grabs the TV remote. Of course it doesn’t work. The TV broke like three weeks ago.

“We should get someone to look at the TV”, he says absent-mindedly. “I know a guy who might be able to do that.”

Remus stares blankly ahead. “I’m sure you do.”

Sirius side-eyes him and taps the arm of the sofa with his pale fingers. “No but actually, Remus. Only psychopaths can live without a TV.”

Remus says nothing, because they both know there’s no money as Remus will not accept Sirius’ drug money under any circumstances. Silence falls into the room. Sirius tries to keep his mind silent as he watches the shadows on the wall in front of him. There’s a crack in the wall where Remus’ dad once crashed when he was drunk out of his mind. Remus was seven.

“Did you see the police at school today?” Remus asks after a while.

Sirius nods. “Yeah. But it’s not like they haven’t been there for almost every day of the past week.”

Remus looks at him with a strange look in his eyes. “Ha. What a great start for a new school year.”

They fall into silence again. All the words left unsaid hang heavily in the air between them, but Sirius is too tired. He gets up from the sofa and goes to the kitchen. He finds a pot of macaroni still warm. He takes a bottle of ketchup from the fridge and eats for the first time of the day.

Sometimes he can still hear the voice of his mother. She was so sure he wouldn’t amount to anything if he ever tried to live on his own.

But if you ignore the fact that he is on probation which everyone seems to take as a sign that he is already one foot in jail and all of his other problems, he does have a pretty amazing boyfriend who cooks him macaroni in the evenings and makes sure he stays alive. That must amount to something.

“Have they been asking questions again?”

Remus appears in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. He stares at Sirius so intensely that the other one knows there’s no escaping this conversation.

Sirius shrugs, setting his fork onto the kitchen table. He feels very small sitting down when Remus is towering over him. “A couple times over the days, yeah. I mean, they needed to interview us separately after it was confirmed that Snape died of a 'significant amount' of peanut oil in the water cup he drank from. I couldn’t tell them much, though.”

Remus takes himself a chair from the table and sits on it. The kitchen light flickers and casts shadows on his face. “You couldn’t or you didn’t want to?”

Sirius stares at Remus, who looks straight back at him with a blank face. He’s so level-headed it sometimes frustrates Sirius to no end. Sirius is more of the impulsive type. Not the best quality in a person when you’re being interviewed about the death of a classmate and they’re starting to imply that you might’ve done it. Apparently there was no peanut oil in the school's piping system.

“Obviously I couldn’t”, Sirius breathes out and shoves another forkful of macaroni into his mouth.

Remus lifts his hands up. “I didn’t say I think you actually did it. What I mean is if they’re already digging around the topic and maybe looking into you four, it seems like a matter of time before they find out you’ve been dealing again.”

It was only two people this evening, Sirius wants to say but doesn’t. It doesn’t matter and he knows it. He also knows that he needs the money and unfortunately for everyone involved, this is the quickest and easiest way to earn it. Remus wouldn’t understand, because despite his evidently hard childhood, he’s still always had a roof on top of his head. And he’s such an honest and overall a good person that he probably wouldn’t fall into such desperation even if he didn’t.

So Sirius just eats the macaroni silently, barely meeting Remus’ eye.

Remus’ mouth forms a thin line and a muscle on his jaw twitches. He sits there for a moment longer before getting up and walking out the kitchen. “Alright, I’m going to sleep. There’s space on the sofa.”

Mary

Wednesday, October 1

Mary’s lying on top of Lily’s bed, her head propped up by embroidered pillows. Lily’s room smells of vanilla and the window in front of her desktop is open, letting fresh air in. Lily’s sitting on the floor and painting her own nails. Lily’s sister is there too: Petunia Evans is only a year older than her sister, so they’ve always had the same friends. Even now that Petunia’s already graduated from high school, she still hangs out with Lily and her friends on occasion. 

“I heard Snape’s funeral is being held this Saturday”, Petunia says, flicking through a magazine absent-mindedly. “Mom says we’re invited.”

Lily switches uncomfortably in her place. “Yeah, I heard. Are you gonna go, Mary?”

Mary fiddles with the bracelet on her wrist and scrunches her face. “Probably. I think pretty much everyone is invited and I… it could bring me some closure, maybe?”

There’s a voice at the back of her head that says she won’t be able to bear it.

“Oh Mary”, Lily says, reaching out her hand to touch Mary’s. “I’m still so mad you had to go through all that.”

“Yeah”, Mary laughs with a strained voice. “How dare he die right there and then?”

Petunia shoots her an odd look and Mary’s cheeks flush. “Sorry. That was a dumb joke.” She leans backwards to look at the ceiling, covering her face with the palms of her hands.

“No, it’s fine”, Lily says. She stands up and sits beside Mary to give her a hug. “It’s been a tough week for you with all those police officers buzzing around and that horrible message on Half-blood Prince on top of it all.”

Mary nods, hugging Lily back. She’s like a sister to Mary, whose actual sister is ten years older than her and already living across the country. Petunia has always felt like her sister, too, although they’ve never been as close.

“Do you think they were serious and not just messing with everyone?” Mary asks them, burying her face under Lily’s arm.

“Doesn’t sound like him”, Lily contemplates. “I mean, there’s still a huge gap between selling drugs to teenagers and actually murdering someone.”

“Not Sirius!” Petunia says, slapping Lily’s leg. “Like was the person behind it being serious, you know, not joking?”

“Ah, yes”, Lily says blushing. “I… no, I don’t know. It’s probably just some psycho who’s hungry for attention and drama.”

Mary tucks her black curls behind her ear and sits up straighter. “Are you sure? The police don’t seem to think it was an accident.”

“Don’t say that! They just want to make sure they got everything right, I don’t think they’re suspecting a murder or anything”, Lily shakes her head. She seems to be under the impression that if she says anything with enough conviction, it’ll come true.

Petunia scoots closer to them, a thoughtful look on her freckled face. “If it was someone, who d'you think did it?”

“Petunia! Don’t speculate on stuff like that”, Lily scolds her. She’s pulled her legs against her body, hugging them tight. “Can we talk about something else, please?”

“Sure, Lils”, Petunia says, but can’t help adding: “Although I have to say I disagree with you. I think Sirius Black has it in him and it’s very convenient that he was in that same detention with Snape.”

“He’s there like every day anyway for being late and not doing his homework and talking back to his teachers and whatever else”, Mary reminds her. “ I was there too, remember?”

Petunia shrugs. “Yeah, okay, but you’re not a killer. He seems to have a lot of secrets to protect, I mean, does anybody even know anything about his family?”

“I think it’s way more strange that Dorcas Meadowes was there. She’s probably never been in detention before, so why was she there all of a sudden?” Mary says, before realising what she’s implicating. She bites her lip, feeling a terrible conscience.

Lily jumps in between them, pressing her hands on her ears. “Let’s talk about something else, I said!”

Petunia scrunches up her nose but complies and sits back down to her place. “Fine. I heard there’s a SZA concert in two weeks and I think I could get tickets there from my friend. Are either of you interested?”

Lily’s face lights up now that the shadows have parted. “Sure, Pets! Don’t you think they’ll be like extra expensive, though?”

Petunia just smiles smugly. “I have some great friends. I can get them for a low enough price.”

Lily smiles and turns to look at Mary. “That sounds good, doesn’t it? Please say you’ll come!”

Petunia smiles at her too, her gaze a lot softer now. “Yeah. It could help you think about something else for a change. And really, it’s no problem for me to get those tickets.”

Mary nods slowly, still leaning her back on the pillows. “I’ll think about it.”

“Sure. Don’t think for too long though, because then the tickets will be gone”, Petunia says.

Lily shifts next to Mary and takes one of her thick curls in between her fingers. “You know what else would make you think about new things?”

Mary eyes her and the mischievous glint in Lily’s eye. “What?”

“We need to find you a boyfriend!” Lily declares, grinning wide. She takes Mary’s hands in her own and continues: “It’s been almost five months since you and Adrian broke up. Of course you’re amazing just by yourself, too, but it could be exciting to find someone.”

Mary shifts uneasily. She thinks about Emmeline’s lips on her ear, her hands in her hair and her touch against…

“You know, I actually have to -”

Her sentence gets cut short, as her phone rings. Mary picks it up and answers it, confused. “Mom?”

“Sweetheart, you need to get home right now. The police are here.”

Mary’s heart is pounding as she approaches her home with her bike. She lives in a relatively quiet part of the town with her parents, so she is not used to seeing a police car parked in her neighbourhood, let alone on the driveway of her own house.

“Mary! You’re here!”

Her mother runs toward her from the gates, a police officer following her just behind. Mary hops off the bike and looks around warily. Surely things aren’t this serious? Are they? Has she missed something?

Mary’s mother tugs at her cardigan to get it better on her and looks Mary in the eye, worry overflowing from her brown eyes. “Now, I know this may look scary to you, but trust me, they’re just here to ask a few questions. I think they’ve found something new, but it’s nothing for you to worry about.”

Mary swallows and nods. She tries not to look at the police officer and at her mother’s heart shaped face instead. “Yes, mom, I can handle this.”

Her mother melts into a relieved smile. “That’s my girl.”

Mary takes a deep breath and walks up to the house, leaving her bike leaning on the fence. She does her best not to show any emotion on her face, as she walks up to the officer.

She’s a middle-aged woman with curly hair kind of similar to Mary. She gives her a polite smile. “Mary MacDonald, I presume? I’m detective Isadora Marques and I’m here to ask you a few questions regarding Severus Snape’s death. Are you open for a little chat?”

“Mm-hmm.” Mary can see her father in the living room, pretending to watch some reality TV program even though he hates those from the bottom of his heart and calls them trash.

Detective Marques leads them to the kitchen and closes the door behind them before sitting down at the table as if Mary is the guest in the house. She looks at all the framed pictures of drawings she and her sister Rose have made as children and tries to swallow the uneasy feeling in her throat.

“So”, the detective starts and crosses her arms. She’s already got a laptop and other devices open on her side. “We have come across some new information and we’d like to hear about this from you. But don’t get me wrong, you do not have to answer my questions if you don’t want to. Do you understand?”

“Yes”, Mary says. Her voice sounds very small. The detective talks about something else, but Mary can only focus on the ringing in her ears.

“Alright, I would like you to have a look at this”, the detective says, grabbing Mary’s attention again. She’s looking at Mary in a very sympathetic way, as if she sees the younger version of herself or something. Mary tries to relax, but then the detective turns the laptop toward her.

“Wait, what is this?”

She’s looking at a website that looks just like Half-blood Prince , but it can’t be that. 

“Since when do the police take some school gossip as evidence in a possible murder investigation?”, she says way more intensely than she meant to. Actually, she shouldn’t have said that. Not in that tone, not at all.

The detective looks at her interestedly. “Right. We’re looking into the possibility that the death of Severus Snape wasn’t an accident, but right now we just need to understand what this unpublished post that Severus was meant to post on Friday means in the context of his death.”

Mary takes a breath and turns her eyes to the laptop. Her breath catches in her throat.

It’s the time you’ve all been waiting for - Or dreading, depends on who you are.  

Don’t waste your time! 

Justice will be served - So no need to hold your breath

DM , our own child prodigy. 

So smart, so clean, so innocent. Don’t let her demeanor fool you - This girl knows how to cheat her way through multiple exams

Surely it’s all a misunderstanding - She would never hack into the school IT system

Trading substances With a dark-haired Individual - Sounds like JP at the back of his home stadium, but maybe that’s just me

Spring's big game!! - No wonder he runs so fast

Not only jocks, but also - SB has been making business with a variety of people lately

Being on probation is no joke - Except for him, apparently

Our precious star <3 - seems to be shooting head-first to jail <3

Mommy and daddy will - not - miss you - But maybe the crackheads will

Having fun with your friends - Fucking behind their back and pulling that famous MM’s innocent sweet girl face so no one suspects a thing

A cheat and a liar - What a cute couple MM and EV make

Six months on the run - I’m sure AC won’t mind when he finds out they were fucking behind his back, we all know him as a chill guy

Those are some choices! - Maybe this will prompt that goddamn Mickey Mouse’s clubhouse to burn to the fucking ground

Hate to be the bearer of bad news - But someone had to do it