Chapter Text
Selected excerpts from the diaries of Frederic ███████:
21st of January, 187█:
It is following the recommendation of my beloved Mabel that I have decided to keep a diary from now on. Truly, the wisest and fairest woman I have ever been so lucky to lay my eyes on, her compassion and understanding for the difficult life I have led knows no boundaries. When, in a moment of weakness, I laid bare my tortured heart to her and confessed the kind of demons that have been haunting me lately, she knew nothing to offer but words of sympathy, and it is at her suggestion that I put these words to paper.
Ever since renouncing my detestable former calling, it would have seemed that life had nothing but the best to offer me. Despite the atrocities which I had been duty-bound to partake in, I have found myself with a loving betrothed, a generous and kindly father of my future bride, and an estate to call home until such a time that my Mabel and I can be married; more than any man of my history could dream to ask for. And yet, I find that I have quite some difficulty of settling into this new life which has so graciously been laid at my feet. Every night, I lay awake, unable to enter Morpheus's domain, and I — as I have now realised — find that sleep simply must elude me so long as there is no boat to embrace me in her wooden bosom, no waves to rock me, no wind and smell of salty air to comfort me and guide me into my dreams.
Blessed Mabel, far more than anyone could expect of her, has done her best to ease my troubles, bringing me the sweetest tea ever a man has tasted; has taken me into town to select any quality of bed linens I could wish for — why, she has even offered to stand at my bed side and sing to me, that I may fall asleep, although for my dignity's sake, I have dutifully declined, and so as not to deprive her of her own rest.
Life at General Stanley's household has proven to be everything I could have dreamt, yet life ashore has proven to be a challenge I fear I may not master any time soon.
17th of June, 187█:
The joyful day has arrived at last! This afternoon, my dearest Mabel and I shall be joined in matrimony, forevermore to be faithful to one another, until one day the grim reaper will come to separate us. Months of relentless preparations lay behind all of us, but to-day, that ends, and we shall be rewarded with a celebration the likes of which has never been beheld in this town that I now call my home.
Just yesterday, my dear old friend, the now-and-former Duke of ██████, my former master, came to visit me. I must confess that even now, after their crimes have been pardoned and they have reclaimed their ancestral family seats, I find that my love for these my former comrades, undying though it is, is tinged with trepidation at the thought of them. I admit that I am challeneged to separate the men of noble heritage and unblemished reputation that they are now from the weathered, deadly scoundrels I have known them to be for most of my life. Nevertheless, however, when our maid told me the Duke had arrived to seek my company, I — as was later told to me — could not help but be overcome with a joy the kind of which can only be evoked by the unexpected visit of a dear old friend.
After we had exchanged our greetings and spoken for quite some time about various topics, the King of our ba Duke then produced from his pocket a little box, within which lay the most wondrous pair of cuff-links I have ever laid my eyes upon — within a frame of gold lay embedded the purest jewels man can imagine. This, he expressed, he wished to bestow to me as a congratulation for my imminent marriage, that I may wear them for to-day's ceremony. Naturally, I shuddered at the thought what past crime these jewels may originate from, but my dear friend assured me that no such gruesome history they carried; rather, that he had taken them from his family's fortune, which he had retrieved himself after the reinstatement of his position.
Unable to properly express my gratitude, I confess that I pulled him into my arms in a manner wholly inappropriate for men of his, and soon my, standing, yet this man, who, despite his unsavoury occupation in the past, has been like a mentor and dear friend to me for all but as long as I can remember, did not resent me this momentary impiety and rather returned my affections as whole-heartedly as I offered them.
Truly, I am blessed to be surrounded by such a number of friends and family!
30th of September, 187█:
Merriwind Hall is truly a heavenly place, and even now, on the eve of its inauguration as the new home of my dearest Mabel and I, I continue to be unable to fully express my gratitude to the most honoured father of my wife, General Stanley, who has made it possible for us to acquire this lovely home. Truly, there is no deed, no aid I would not render to the man to whom I owe my life's happiness, should ever he ask me for it.
Already, Isabel and Edith, two of my lovely wife's sisters, have announced their intention to visit us here, once we should have fully settled into this our domain. I suspect that they may envy us this little paradise and might, perhaps, conspire to, under the guise of visitation, make use of it as their weekend retreat, but I would welcome them with open arms to do so! The house could easily shelter the General's entire family, and nothing would bring me more joy than for all of us, this family that I now share, to get together here as often as possible! All of my family, both old and new, for already Samuel, the Earl of ██████-████-████, has offered to teach me the art of hunting game, a skill he mastered in his old life — that is, the life he has now returned to, as they all have since forgoing the dreadful flag they once lived by. Their old old lives their lives from birth my word, this is confounding, and the words won't quite express what I need them to.
However, this page I must cut short, for Mabel dearest has just called me to dinner!