Chapter Text
That’s all I heard as I meandered slowly up the cold and empty street, wiping at my nose as the bitter winds insisted on making it drip. I had to squint as I stepped onto an empty street, the light from the sun was so unbearably bright. The blanket was clutched a bit tighter around my shoulders, the little pack I’d filled with supplies bouncing with every shuffling step.
I’d ran…
I don’t think I had a choice.
My breath blew from my mouth in faint clouds as I staggered to the center of the cobbled street, masses of Techrot and oddly colored flesh splintering and sprouting from its surface. Gross… but I’d have to live with gross from now on.
It was just getting worse, I had to go...
The silver that sprouted from my skin…
A shiver ran up my back, my neck tensing as I remembered the noise Lettie made when she’d touched them. That grunt of pain as the spike broke through her glove, piercing her finger. I’d probably infected her, I’d probably doomed her too… I’d probably…
Steam blew from my mouth as I crushed those thoughts, walking up the street, sunlight reflecting from the silver flesh that was breaking through my skin. I needed to find someplace quiet, someplace that I wouldn't be found, not for a long time, not ever. I needed to find somewhere to disappear. I needed to find somewhere I couldn’t be a danger to them…
With any luck it’d still be a few hours before they realized I was gone.
I needed to make the most of that time, imagined or otherwise.
As much as it burned, I pushed my wretched little body forward, step after step. Even as each breath grew more and more labored, as saliva fell from my slack mouth, I kept pushing forward. Not even for a minute could I stop, not a minute…
Until my body gave out…
Until…
I’d lost track of everything, I’d fallen into a trance. My body was numb. But, as I knew it eventually would, my leg buckled, sending me spilling down across the road. Little sobs tore from my mouth as I curled up in my blanket, hiding myself as best I could from the uncaring sky above.
“Just for a minute,” I whispered to myself, “Then I walk again.”
I tried, I really did.
But I just didn't have the strength. The best I could manage was dragging my corpse to the side of the road, to the shade. I had to use my hands to drag my legs toward the rest of my body as I laid with my back against the building, arms wrapping about my little supply pack, the blanket draped over me.
There I laid, colder than the pavement, watching the shadows shift and stretch as night sought to fall. It was tranquil in all honesty, just laying there on the ground, so much like it was on the Zariman.
It seems I was destined to return to that horrible situation one way or the other…
At least the scenery was nicer…
No corpses…
No screams…
I yawned as I began to lose the fight to stay conscious. It wasn't a fight I wanted to participate in. I closed my eyes, and didn’t bother wondering if they would open again.
Tragically, I was quite rudely awoken.
The ground beneath me shook and rumbled, low bassy thrumming rattling what was left of my teeth. My eyes snapped open, spying an absolutely gargantuan vehicle rolling past me. It was painted orange, gross, several heavily clad people hanging onto its sides. I’d not really had much experience with firearms, considering my only interactions with them directly led to me dying, but I could tell these people were armed, heavily armed.
More of them, some clinging to those heavy vehicles, others on foot, men and women, tall and short. All were wrapped in heavy orange armor, gross, bodies all aglow with a bitter yellow light as tubes full of a bizarre yellow liquid ran across their bodies. It was quite a sight to behold all things considered.
I’m guessing these were the people Lettie and the rest were fighting against.
I squeezed my eyes shut, nestling as slowly as I could back in my blanket.
With any luck they’d pass me by, they wouldn't notice me.
It was dark after all, and they were just passing through.
The rumbling didn’t fade though. The dull roar of those engines stayed, the oddly garbled and artificial chatter of their communications systems, radios or something, only grew more numerous and frenzied. They hadn’t seen me, had they?
I jumped slightly as the familiar whine and rumble of a small engine cut through the chatter. Was it Lettie? Eleanor? Aoi? Someone coming after me just to run head-on into this mess?
The tone of the chatter stayed the same, no raised voices, no aggression.
“Fan out!” a familiar voice barked, “Mark all growths and destroy any uninfected tech! Drag all bodies out for cremation!”
The woman I’d spoken to on the radio… the Major?
I poked my head over the edge of my blanket, spotting her pretty quickly. She was the only one not dressed for the weather.
I thought she’d be uglier to be brutally honest.
I couldn’t really see much of her face since it was hidden beneath a bulky respirator of sorts, but the way she held herself and the way she was dressed. She was military through and through, almost reminded me of some of the Orokin, especially with that red hair of hers. Seems the resemblance didn’t stop at the hair.
A large prosthetic arm, made from painted metal, running with tubes full of that glowing yellow liquid stuff they all seemed to be covered in. It looked to be about the same length of an Ascendant Orokin’s, but it was much sharper, and not meat. It wouldn't look nearly as interesting if it were made of meat.
She was also wrapped in a complicated harness of sorts, large containers of that glowing yellow stuff running across its length, wrapping up and over her shoulder and across her back to her hip. It was quite a getup in all honesty. She was even wearing a little hat, which was just adorable.
She was pacing about, barking orders as her orange-clad goons ran around like good little drones. Lights were set up, beating back the gloom of the encroaching darkness, my comfortable little bubble of shade included.
It was so bright.
I flinched, trying to hide myself beneath my blanket, to make myself look like a piece of rubble.
Considering I wasn’t instantly grabbed, that the shouting didn't shift or cease, I might’ve been in the clear.
Then again, I might’ve thought too soon.
It took everything I had not to jump or start shivering as the tip of a boot poked me in the knee. I was given a firmer prod. I remained still.
The crackle of a radio sounded directly above me, a set of strong hands wrapped clumsily around my arm, pretty easily picking me up. I remained limp as I was held aloft, pack falling from my arm and hitting the ground loudly. My half-open eyes could just barely take in the scene before me.
It was basically the same as before, but it looked like the faces of the buildings were being coated in that orange fabric, scaffolding was being erected. That woman, the Major, was looking directly at me. It was really impossible to discern her expression from just her eyes. Shock? Horror? Disgust? all of the above perhaps…
I swung limply as the guy that was carrying me began walking, to where, I didn't know, it wasn't gonna be good no matter what.
Didn't she tell them to burn the bodies?
Her eyes were still on me, still wide, still…
I coughed, little puff of steam blowing from my mouth.
Then I hit the ground, dropped like a half-full sack of shit. My eyes slid upward, staring at the rifle pointed straight at me. Ah, yes, a mercy killing… to think that’s what sent me here in the first place. As much as I knew it wouldn't do anything, I hid my face, squeezing my eyes shut.
A single shot rang out, but I didn't feel anything.
A second passed, then two, three… How long until the next one came?
I tentatively lifted my head, seeing the Major, her mechanical hand wrapped about the rifle, forcing it up. Her eyes bore a faint glow as she ripped the rifle from her subordinate’s hand, throwing it to the ground. She stared at him for a moment, contempt palpable.
“Not children,” she hissed. “Out of my sight!” She gave him a push, sending him sprawling.
I could only really stare at her dumbly as she crouched down, gently scooping me up. It might’ve been my imagination, but she made a little concerned whine upon feeling how unbelievably light I was. So she had a soul then, contrary to what everyone at the mall had said. Maybe she kept hers locked away, considering how everyone else seemed to as well… I wouldn’t be surprised.
My eyes were half shut as she carried me back to where my stuff was, grabbing my bag and my blanket, carrying me off to who-knows-where. All I felt was the bouncing of her steps, heard the clicking of her heels. There was a metallic squeak and a groan, my body rocked and suddenly I was wrapped in something approaching warmth.
I was laid out on a bench of sorts, the space around me dim and cramped, even more so with her hunched over, still staring at me. Slowly she reached out, lifting my head and slipping my pack beneath to act as a pillow. She draped the blanket over me, making sure I was all snug and tucked in.
The Major took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Sol only knows how you’re still alive, little one,” she whispered, tone of voice shifting so drastically. “We’ve medics at the nearest checkpoint, they’ll check you over. I assume you- you’ve no family left.”
I blinked slowly. Compared to everything I’d heard from her mouth… Was this the same person? Again… maybe this is just who she was when no one was looking.
No one who would judge her for it at least.
“Jus’ lemme go,” I whispered, voice about as thin as I was. “Jus’ wanna go…”
She shook her head. “There’s no place safe, child, not with the Technocyte and the Hex running about. You’ll be checked over, patched up, then removed from the city and homed someplace safe.”
“Noplace safe when I’m here,” I whispered. “’M dangerous.”
Her brow furrowed a bit. “Nonsense…” She leaned back, mashing her fist against some sorta button set into the wall. “Back to the checkpoint, and avoid the potholes,” she said harshly.
The engine of the vehicle we were in roared into life, making the bench I was laid on shake.
“Just let me go,” I groaned, trying to sit up. “You don’t understand.”
“I can’t understand anything if I’m not told anything,” she said flatly, “and you’ve told me nothing.”
Oh gods, she was just like me then… Therefore I would need to teach her like I would like to be teached…
I squirmed and wriggled, eventually managing to free my arm. It bounced and flopped as the vehicle we were in began to move. The knobs of silver shone in the dim overhead light, the grey tinge my fingers had taken standing out even more.
She narrowed her eyes, gently taking my arm. Her gloved fingers ran over the little bumps that jutted from my skin. With a little grunt, she stood, needing to hunch over. She squished my arm back beneath the blanket.
“Simply another oddity,” she whispered, sitting back down, “It doesn't change what you are.”
“Don't you dare say ‘a child’…”
“Hurting, in need of care…”
“I walked from care before, I will walk away from your care as well…” I squeezed my eyes shut. “As soon as I’m strong enough to walk again, I’m leaving.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because all I can do is hurt people…”
She was about to say something, but never got the chance. The vehicle stopped sharply, sending the both of us sliding. With a grunt she slammed her fist back against the button in the wall.
“Why have we stopped?” she growled, demeanor shifting sharply.
I couldn’t understand the garbled reply, but she apparently did.
She sat on the bench for a moment, just staring at me. “The Hex…”
I deflated a bit. “I didn’t think they’d find me that fast,” I muttered. “I thought…”
“You…” she stuttered for a moment. “I’m conflicted,” she admitted.
“That’s OK,” I whispered, “It’s OK to be conflicted.”
She squeezed her eyes shut as the vehicle’s engine went silent. “Do they treat you well?” she asked.
I nodded. “They feed me ice cream, and carry me around. Lettie… I think she’s the closest I’ve ever had to a mother.” A little smile hovered at the corners of my mouth as I thought of her. “It’s only because of her that I’ve managed to get this far… I…” I took a sharp breath as a tremble entered my breathing. “Momma…” I whispered, sinuses sealing shut as tears flooded from my eyes. “Momma…”
That’s it, I thought about her, I was gone.
I was bawling, I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, I could barely comprehend anything. It all just hit me at once. I tried to run away, I tried to leave them, I… There was a blast of cold air. I was back in the Major’s arms. She was bringing me out to them?
“Take care of her, Leticia… Scaldra… I wouldn’t be able to justify us stocking up on ice cream to Viktor...”
I was jostled a bit, going from one set of arms to the other.
I was pressed tightly to someone’s chest, a familiar sounding voice in my ear. Lettie, she was holding me, carrying me, talking to me. I knew that, but I couldn't hear, I was too busy crying, too busy letting loose all those worries and feelings that had been building in one big shapeless wail.
I cried the whole way back. I cried as we walked through the dull cement garage I’d slipped out through. I cried as Lettie carried me up those switchback stairs. I cried as she laid down beside me on our mattress.
She didn’t move, she didn't leave me. Even as my breathing leveled out and my sinuses slowly opened. Lettie just laid there beside me, whispering gently, singing quietly, keeping me in her arms, reminding me that I was safe.
I was safe.