Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

charlie: dude i have to tell you something

neil: whats up? it cant wait until after breakfast?

charlie: trust me, you wanna hear it now

neil: oh?

charlie: me and stick made out for like 5 minutes yesterday

neil: HUH????

charlie: yeah LMAO

neil: charlie i need you to start from the beginning

charlie: we were playing super smash bros and just talking and we got on the topic of dating and shit and he said hes never kissed a boy before and i said that i have and he asked what it felt like so i just straight up said "idk how to describe it, you wanna kiss me and see?" and we kissed and then we started making out and then after a few minutes he was like "that was cool" and we literally just kept playing super smash bros

neil: charlie
neil: charlie
neil: charlie.

charlie: yeah?

neil: what the actual fuck

charlie: LOL

neil: do you have a crush on him charlie
neil: AND NOT TELL ME

charlie: wtf no i dont like stick like that
charlie: and he doesnt like me like that
charlie: we agreed to keep it as a one time thing like responsible adults
charlie: we're just friends who kissed once
charlie: like me and you in the 5th grade LOL
charlie: and he said i was a good kisser so there, HA!

neil: charlie... is he even into guys

charlie: DUDE HE LITERALLY TOLD US HES PAN WHEN WE AMBUSHED HIM LAST WEEK REMEMBER
charlie: I LITERALLY SAID OMG TWINSIES TO HIM AND YOU SMACKED ME UPSIDE THE HEAD
charlie: he has a pan flag on his desk in his room too

neil: OH YEAH THATS RIGHT
neil: are there any straight people in this school lmao

charlie: 100% hopkins

neil: yeah youre so right
neil: BACK TO STICK

charlie: what more is there to talk about

neil: you literally just told me you made out with him while playing super smash bros and you dont think theres anything more to discuss?

charlie: exactly

neil: thats literally it?
neil: thats all youre gonna say?

charlie: yep!

neil: i hate you

charlie: luv you too!

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pitts: meeksie do you have access to a printer and photos of the people at welton

meeks: the library has a ton of printers and yeah the school annuals

pitts: excellent

meeks: can i ask WHY you need to know this

pitts: i had an idea

meeks: a good one or a bad one?

pitts: a good one

meeks: i guess this means your sneaky trip into town was successful?

pitts: just you wait

meeks: why am i lowkey scared rn

pitts: i need you to do a super important job

meeks: ok???

pitts: go to the library and take photos of all of our friends and some of the other guys in our class and the teachers and nolan

meeks: why???

pitts: BABE TRUST ME

meeks: yeah alright youve convinced me
meeks: do i have to do anything with the pics

pitts: not til i get back

meeks: ok!

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cam: do you need help with whatever homework youre trying to do?
cam: i can hear you throwing your pencils next door

knox: bruh

cam: what are you working on?

knox: history

cam: the worksheet?

knox: yeah
knox: who the hell assigns a fill in the blank sheet with NO WORD BOX
knox: AND ITS MOSTLY DATES

cam: yeah its kind of insane, it took me a while to get through

knox: can you please help me please please please

cam: yeah ill come over, charlie was annoying me anyway

knox: whats he doing

cam: hes playing mariokart loudly

knox: yeah he does that
knox: my doors open so just walk in lol

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meeks: dude its been an hour where are you

pitts: oh i stopped for snacks
pitts: im bringing a bag full of snacks to eat while we work on our project

meeks: what fucking project gerard

pitts: BRUH

meeks: BRUH.

pitts: fine you win
pitts: i bought a game of guess who
pitts: like the one with the people and you guess who the other person has
pitts: but we're gonna take out all the people in the game and replace them with photos of welton people

meeks: OH MY GOD WAIT
meeks: THATS SO FUNNY
meeks: PLEASE GET HERE FASTER

pitts: i am literally walking as fast as i can

meeks: THEN RUN

pitts: dude my hands are full

meeks: SO???

pitts: i have like 4 bags
pitts: im not running with 4 bags

meeks: fine i guess i can wait
meeks: im so excited about this omfg
meeks: wait how are you texting of youre carrying 4 bags

pitts: cant talk rn, im carrying 4 bags

meeks: YOURE SO ANNOYING LMFAO

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todd: hey do you know where neil went?
todd: i literally got up to go to the bathroom and hes gone

charlie: yeah he told me he got a call from daddy dearest and he was going out to the dock to take it

todd: uh oh

charlie: yeah ik

todd: should i like,,, go to the dock

charlie: he specifically told me to tell you you should stay here and wait for him

todd: oh ok

charlie: come sit with me while i play mariokart

todd: yeah alright fine

charlie: i have another controller you can be toad!

todd: i love toad!!!

charlie: bowser jr for life

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cam: knox and i can hear you and pitts giggling from across the hall, what the hell are you doing

meeks: science project

cam: ...are you sure?

meeks: no

cam: what the hell is that supposed to mean

meeks: pittsie swore me to secrecy until we're done working on it
meeks: so legally, i cannot tell you

cam: ...alright then

meeks: what are you and knoxy doing

cam: we finished history like an hour ago and now we're just shit talking about the teachers here

meeks: HAHAHAHA love that for you

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todd: hey lovey
todd: are you okay?
todd: youve just been laying in bed with your earbuds in listening to piano man by billy joel on repeat for 45 minutes now and im worried
todd: i wanted to give you some time to sort through your thoughts because i know you had a call with your dad
todd: but you literally just listened to piano man 8 times in a row i can see it on your spotify activity so clearly youre not okay

neil: my dad is such a fucking dick

todd: what did he say?

neil: my mom literally made him let me keep doing the henley hall plays so he has no right to complain, yet he still calls me up to tell me that im wasting my time and his money and he threatens to call up the director and order me to quit
neil: god forbid i have ONE thing for myself that doesnt involve him
neil: so i told him that i didnt understand why i couldnt do something that i love doing, especially since the plays arent affecting my grades at all, and he just got mad at me
neil: and then he started going on about how he wanted the perfect son who was a doctor and has a wife and 2.5 kids and a house with a white picket fence and a beagle, and instead he got stuck with a gay kid whos into theater
neil: except he used the slur instead
neil: and he said im never going to amount to anything and theres no chance in hell i make it as an actor

todd: honey im so sorry :(
todd: first off, he should NOT have called you that word
todd: and second, you ARE allowed to have things that you love outside of school. you dont owe that man anything, no matter what he tells you about "wasting money and time." doing what youre passionate about is NEVER a waste. and you will make it, neil, i believe in you so much. if anyone has the capabilities to achieve their dream and make it big, its you. dont listen to him, hes so insanely wrong about you.
todd: i think you should talk to your director and tell her that no matter what your father tries to do, you ARE still doing the play.

neil: youre right, i know you are, its just ugh
neil: my stupid fucking father
neil: i just always hear him in whatever i do and it pisses me off that he has that power over me
neil: i just wish my mom would fucking divorce him, but she doesnt believe in divorce.
neil: i literally almost tried to kill myself a month and a half ago and its like they dont even care
neil: i dont understand why i got stuck with such shitty parents
neil: what did i do to deserve this

todd: you didnt do anything, neil. none of this is your fault. your parents are just cold hateful people, and thats on them. you have never done anything wrong, darling. youre absolutely perfect, you dont deserve to be treted like that.

neil: you want to know why i keep listening to piano man?
neil: that one verse

todd: you mean the one about john?

neil: you know me too well
neil: it goes
neil: he says, "bill, i believe this is killing me," as the smile ran away from his face, "well, im sure that I could be a movie star if i could get out of this place"
neil: and i feel that so much
neil: if i could just get out of welton, out of vermont, then i could be free from my father and i could do whatever i want. i could be an actor without him constantly breathing down my neck and telling me that im wasting my time on something so foolish.

todd: neil :(
todd: could i come lay with you for a bit? is that okay?

neil: can you please? i could really use a hug

todd: of course love
todd: i also think you should go talk to keating when youre up for it
todd: i could come with you if you want or you could go alone, but i really think you should talk to him about this too, he'll probably have some better advice

neil: i will later, i just want you right now :(

todd: im coming, just let me mark the page in my book and we can cuddle

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charlie: what the hell is going on in meeks and pitts' room

knox: theyre working on a project but wont say what it is
knox: why?
knox: can you hear them?

charlie: no, i just walked back from the bathroom and they have a sign taped to their door that says do not enter

knox: what ths actual fuck are they working on in there?

charlie: have they been doing that all day???

knox: YES. me and cameron have been sitting in my room for hours now trying to figure it out
knox: meeks says hes "legally obligated to not tell us"

charlie: WAIT CAMS BEEN WITH YOU ALL DAY?

knox: yeah lol he was helping me with homework and then we just started hanging out

charlie: bruh can i come in

knox: yeah get over here

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neil: are you busy right now?

Mr. Keating: Not at all, what can I do for you?

neil: can i come talk to you? i could really use a dad right now

Mr. Keating: Of course you can, Neil. Come to my office, I'll get the tea ready.

neil: thank you
neil: todds coming to walk me down because he doesnt want me to be alone, but hes not going to stay

Mr. Keating: That's alright, son. Just get here safely.

neil: k, on our way

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pittsie: GENTLEMEN.
pittsie: MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE.

obKNOXious: are you finally gonna tell us what the hell youve been doing all day

cam: PLEASE TELL US

charlEEZ NUTS: omfg is it time!!!

meeksie: you are all cordially invited to me and pittsies room after dinner...

pittsie: to play guess who: hellton edition!

meeksie: TADAAAAA

cam: what

obKNOXious: what does that even mean

charlEEZ NUTS: WAIT LIKE THE GAME WHERE YOU GUESS PEOPLE

meeksie: YES

pittsie: WE TAPED WELTON STUDENTS AND FACULTY TO THE GAME TO PLAY WELTON GUESS WHO

charlEEZ NUTS: OH MY FUCKING GOD IM IN

obKNOXious: WAIT THAT SOUNDS SO FUN

cam: yeah alright ill play, i can only imagine the chaos itll bring

meeksie: after dinner, please come with us to our room and we can all take turns playing

pittsie: @todd @neil you guys in?

charlEEZ NUTS: where even are they

knox: idk me and cam havent seen them all day

toad: sorry guys, me and neil are out
toad: he just got back from keatings, we're in our room
toad: hes having a shitty day and isnt up for anything right now, im staying with him

charlEEZ NUTS: aww neil
charlEEZ NUTS: thats ok, we can all play again when you guys are up for it

meeksie: yeah definitely, this isnt a one day thing, the game will always be here whenever youre ready

toad: neil says thanks and that he loves you guys and that hes sorry he isnt up for seeing you guys right now
toad: (i did not want to type that last part bc he shouldnt be apologizing, but hes watching and made me)

obKNOXious: neilio you dont have to be sorry, we all understand what its like to have bad days

cam: you just rest up and focus on yourself, we'll all still be here tomorrow

pittsie: we love you neil

charlEEZ NUTS: love you buddy!! feel better!!

toad: he says he love you guys too :)
toad: enjoy your game later

meeksie: thanks guys!

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meeks: you were my character in guess who hellton edition and i was playing against charlie and he used his FIRST QUESTION to say "is your character probably autistic" and i hesitated to answer because he caught me off guard bc who tf asks that??? and he goes "ITS TODD ISNT IT"

todd: BRUH DONT DO ME DIRTY LIKE THAT
todd: i mean hes right BUT STILL LMAOOO

meeks: either way, i told him to steer clear of questions about mental health and such
meeks: the guys insist we keep the questions about daddy issues though but whatever

todd: yeah thats probably for the best lol
todd: the daddy issues one cancels out a large majority of the students tho lmfao

meeks: its how we’ve been distinguishing students from faculty

todd: …what if the faculty members have daddy issues too???
todd: why cant you just say “is your person a fully grown adult”

meeks: because we’re stupid and didn’t think of that

todd: yall are so dumb without me omfg

meeks: we literally are todd, it’s kind of insane
meeks: wait can i ask you a personal question

todd: is it why i havent gotten an official diagnosis?

meeks: yes

todd: parents wont let me!!!
todd: because they suck!!!

meeks: i hate your parents so bad

todd: same!
todd: im lucky they let me see a therapist, but thats all i get from them
todd: and my therapist gave me a quick screening questionnaire for autism and when we discussed it more in depth back when i first started therapy, she said i most likely am (which i thought was pretty obvious) but would have to go get tested if i want an official diagnosis and accommodations for school
todd: and mom and dad said no!!!

meeks: thats actually insane wtf is wrong with your parents

todd: i ask myself that every single day of my life
todd: but it is what it is i guess. my therapist is so awesome, so ill take what i can get

meeks: todd :(
meeks: i can tell you dont want to talk about this anymore so instead ill ask how neil is doing
meeks: that boy worries me

todd: thanks meeksie
todd: neils been sleeping since you guys snuck us dinner
todd: its definitely a restless sleep, i dont think hes having very pleasent dreams

meeks: geez, what happened? he seemed fine this morning

todd: his dad called earlier

meeks: ohhhh
meeks: jesus

todd: yeah, we talked for a bit and then he spoke to mr keating
todd: obviously i want him to feel better tomorrow, but you know how he gets when it comes to his dad. he'll probably be like this for a few more days.

meeks: man :/
meeks: make sure he knows we've all got his back, yeah?

todd: always
todd: thanks for checking up on us, it means a lot

meeks: ofc man, i love you bro

todd: love you too :)

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Mr. Keating: Hi, son. How are you feeling? Wanted to check up on you before bed.

neil: could be better
neil: could definitely be better
neil: but our talk earlier really helped
neil: and todds been great as usual

Mr. Keating: I'm glad it helped, and that you have Todd. Are you sure you don't want me to try speaking with your mother? I could call her in for a parent-teacher conference. I think without your father's presence, it'll be easier to get through to her.

neil: could i sleep on it for a few nights?

Mr. Keating: Absolutely, take all the time you need. Whatever you need, that's what we'll do.

neil: thank you mr keating
neil: i seriously dont know what id do without you
neil: like genuinely, thank you for everything

Mr. Keating: Neil, you never have to thank me for helping you or supporting you. I care very much about you, and all of you boys, and you need someone to lean on. I'm more than happy to be that person for you.

neil: i love you mr keating, youre the best teacher ive ever had. youre more than a teacher really, you saved my life

Mr. Keating: Love you too, kiddo. You're an incredible kid, don't let your father tell you otherwise. I know it hurts and I know it's hard to ignore, but just remember that you have me, Todd, and your other friends to lift you up whenever he puts you down. You are so loved.

neil: thank you captain

Mr. Keating: Try to get some sleep tonight. Ask Todd to stay with you, I'm sure he wouldn't mind. And sleep in a little longer, you don't have to be up at 5:30 if breakfast starts at 7. Sleep until Todd gets up, you could use the extra minutes!

neil: i will
neil: goodnight mr keating :)

Mr. Keating: Goodnight, kid!