Archive of Our Own ^beta

Logan sat quietly in his room reading. A slight headache was forming, which seemed impossible due to him being metaphysical, but it happened a lot. Mainly due to Thomas’s stress.

He looked up at his calendar. Today was the callback, and Thomas didn’t go. Why he didn’t was strange to him- he had too many friends and ample opportunities to make it up to Lee and Mary Lee- but Roman made his verdict.

He rolled his eyes at that. Roman, the judge. He was very clearly biased due to being Thomas’s hopes and dreams. So was Virgil. Juries were supposed to have more than one member, and he could’ve very easily been a part of it. There were many empty seats next to Virgil. There was no need to leave him out.

Well, that’s not entirely true. They had already filled out every role, and he was joining the discussion late. It would’ve been a nuisance to catch him up to speed.

Yeah, he knew what that idiom meant. He added new notecards to explain them. Not all of them, that would take a lot more notecards than he owned. Just enough to understand what the others were saying.

Maybe if he did, maybe if he spoke in their symbolic language, maybe they’d understand what he was trying to say. Maybe they’d finally be able to listen to him.

He shook his head. He was getting off topic in his own thoughts. He should focus on reading. It’s a book about various philosophers and their view on what makes a good action good. When Thomas called him up to join the discussion, he would be able to contribute to it.

He looked back down to his book.

“You won’t be needing that.”

Logan flinched at the sound. He looked back up to his table.

Deceit sat across from him. How did he get here without him noticing?

The shock wore off. He adjusted his tie.

“Deceit? What are you doing here?” He calmly asked.

“What? Can’t I just visit a friend? Offer him some advice?” Deceit said innocently, hands on his heart.

“We aren’t friends. I believe we’ve only had one conversation. And what advice would you offer me?” Logan placed a bookmark in his book and shut it to give Deceit his full attention.

Deceit smiled before asking, “Tell me, what are you doing right now?”

That confused him. “I’m…reading in preparation for today’s discussion? I don’t see what this has to do with your advice.”

He dropped his smile. “Logan, they’re not calling you up there. Today was a very emotional day for Thomas… Logic is not exactly present.”

“Of course I’m not present. They haven’t called me up there yet.”

Deceit groaned. “I meant Thomas isn’t trying to think logically right now. He’s very upset, and upset people don’t think rationally.” He explained. He then added, “Not like he ever wants to think logically…”

Logan understood what he meant by the first bit, but…

“What do you mean by that?” He asked, crossing his arms. “He certainly wanted to two weeks ago when I helped him with Remus.”

“Logan, he was drowning, and you were...” Deceit started, but then shook his head. “You think literally. He was desperate, and you were the only one up there who wasn’t berating or scaring him.” He put his hands on the table, giving him a sincere glare. “He was just using you.”

Logan stiffened. “Falsehood.”

“I’m not lying, Logan. No one up there takes you seriously. You need to-“

“Let me stop you before you waste your time.” Logan interrupted, suddenly wound up with an unfamiliar anger. “Thomas takes me seriously when he needs to. He doesn’t use me, because I offer help before he asks me for it.”

“Well, Roman certainly uses you, at least. He only called you up with the whole Remus situation because he wanted something from you.” He argued.

The voices above him were growing louder.

“This is just a distraction. You’re trying to keep me from learning to make me less helpful.” Logan picked up his book again. “Please leave my room, Deceit.”

“My name is Janus.”

Logan looked back up at him, surprised.

Was this just another lie?

He paused to scan Deceit’s body language. Maintaining eye contact, hand clenched, no guilty facial expression…

Janus wasn’t lying.

Why wasn’t he?

“You… why did you tell me that?” He asked, trying to find reason in confusion.

“To let you know I’m being sincere, Logan. The people up there don’t respect you.” Janus insisted.

Logan closed his eyes. His headache was turning into a migraine by the minute.

“No. You’re wrong, Janus.” He disagreed. Janus had to be wrong. He couldn’t be telling the truth. Thomas respects him. The sides cared about him. They wanted to hear was he had to say. Sure, Roman can mock him, and Patton and Virgil can disagree with him, but all of them had had moments of disagreement with everyone, even Thomas.

Thomas wanted to listen to him.

He thought Logan was cool.

He held onto that tight. His proof. Thomas thought he was cool. Thomas cared. That meant the others cared, too.

Janus looked over at him with an unreadable expression before sighing.

He then quickly looked back up.

“Well, let’s prove it.” Janus challenged. “Remain impartial and offer information to everyone up there.”

Logan grimaced as the voices grew louder. “I don’t think they’ll want to hear an impartial logic during a discussion like this.”

“Even better!” Janus slammed his fist on the table. “Offer optional facts. Don’t say them, let Thomas or the others read them.”

Logan thought for a moment. This is how he would ‘prove it’ for Janus. If he did this, Janus would leave him be. He had already read a sizable amount about philosophy, but it wasn’t everything he wanted to read. He had interesting things to contribute, but Thomas didn’t read nearly as much as he should have. This was a difficult decision.

Janus sensed his hesitation and held his hand out. “If I’m wrong, I promise to never impersonate you again.”

That certainly swayed Logan towards agreeing. But…

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

Janus frowned. He took off one of his gloves and held his hand over his heart. “I promise.”

That was a common gesture of sincerity.

Logan took his hand and shook it.

“Deal.”

***

Logan knew he was losing this bet.

At least Janus didn’t offer up a punishment for Logan’s loss.

It started out okay. Immediately Roman went to skip him, which was utter buffoonery, but that was normal. He even made up for it and read out his first fact! That was great, and it added to the conversation in a helpful manner. Thomas even smiled at the knowledge!

That was short lived.

When Logan offered up his second fact, no one glanced at it. No one read it. Which wasn't a problem, actually. They were still talking about the first fact, so naturally they’d be too busy to read the immediate second one.

Then they ignored the third one.

And the forth.

And the fifth.

Logan didn’t want to admit it, but he got desperate. He sent them in quicker, more aggressive, abandoning his ideal schedule of sending facts out.

He hit Patton in the nose with information, which got his attention, but even then they didn’t read it. Roman cut it in half with his sword.

Logan stood over his table, looming over the fact sheets in front of him.

What did he have to do to prove Janus wrong?

He was leaning against the wall in the corner. Logan expected him to be gloating by now, but Janus didn’t boost his ego. No, it was worse.

Every ignored fact made him sadder.

It wasn’t satisfaction from winning a bet.

It was pity.

Logan hated pity.

“They’re busy now, but I know they’ll read one of these again.” He defended preemptively. “They’ll want to know more, I know it.”

Janus looked up at him. “Impartial facts, correct? They’ll listen, even if it doesn’t support their argument?”

“Yes.” Logan answered instantly, disliking the desperation in his tone.

“Then share facts that don’t support their argument.” He replied like it was simple, obvious. “That’s the easiest way to end this bet.”

Logan looked back at his facts. He took one about a well-mustached philosopher and was about to send it up-

“…Logan?” Patton called out to him.

He turned to Janus, who nodded. “Go.”

Logan flattened his hair and moved up with his facts. This would prove his point. This would allow him victory.

Patton was a childish person, but he always cared about other’s…feelings. Thinking that sent a shiver down his spine.

Patton would hear him out. He had to.

Logan couldn’t take it if he didn’t.

***

A hook clasped around his neck, its metal sharp and grinding. He felt it dig into his skin, sending pain from his neck onwards. What was this? Why?

He got a single glimpse before he was yanked away.

Patton. Sweet and caring, emotional yet empathetic, Patton.

Hitting a skip button.

“Well, you can’t really learn morality from a book…” He heard Patton, the voice quickly dampening from the speedy exit.

He landed in his room with a thud, slamming into thrown papers. The pain seared on his neck. His hands went up almost involuntarily to it.

That wasn't was hurt him the most.

It was his belief.

Belief that at least one person up there would read his contributions and appreciate them.

Belief that the others wanted to listen to him.

He was wrong.

He looked up at Janus. He held a hooked cane. The one that pulled him away. He looked down at him and sighed.

“I told you, Logan.” He spoke softly, saddened yet determined. “They don’t respect you.”

He felt the area of pain around his neck. Yes, Janus did this, but at Patton’s request.

They…don’t respect him. They don’t.

“I want you to know, I don’t enjoy winning. At least, in this instance.” Janus continued. “I wish the others listened to you, Logan. Maybe then Thomas’s life would be better.” He sighed.

He knelt down and patted his shoulder. “I’m going to go convince Thomas he should take care of himself.” He assured. “That includes you, Logan. You need to put yourself first.”

With that, he left.

Logan dug his nails into his skin. The pain from his neck outdid the pain in his palms, but he didn’t feel either anymore.

All he felt was rage.

He’ll go back up later. After Janus has been revealed. The least he could do was support him. After all, he supported Logan more than the rest of them did, and they’ve had only two conversations.

He shivered. Janus was known for his attempts at manipulation. Thomas literally knows him as Deceit. This bet was just an attempt to get into his head.

Looking at the past conversations the sides have had, he knew he was wrong. That didn’t matter. Today was a fluke. Thomas was already emotional and regretful, and regret goes against logic. So it’s just a fluke.

God, he prayed it was just a fluke.