Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

SHELLINGTON SIGHED. IT HAD BEEN A ROUGH DAY, AND HE’D BEEN FIGHTING TO KEEP FROM FALLING ASLEEP IMMEDIATELY FOR THE PAST TWO HOURS. IT WAS A REAL CHALLENGE GETTING THE VEGIMALS TO BED.

HE GAVE GRUBER HIS MILK, AND HE SCARFED IT ALL DOWN, WHICH KNOCKED HIM OUT PER USUAL. THE PROBLEM WAS THAT PUTTING HIM TO BED FIRST MEANT THAT GRUBER WOULD START SLEEP TALKING ABOUT THINGS – FOOD COMMERCIALS THIS TIME – AND WAKE UP THE OTHERS. WHILE SHELLINGTON WAS LOOKING AWAY, TUNIP HAD SEALED HIS MOUTH BEFORE HE COULD START. 

THE PROBLEM WAS THAT TO DO THAT, HE TRIPPED OVER CODISH, WHO WAS NOW ANGRY. OF COURSE, HIS LOVELY CHILDREN DON’T BICKER THAT LOUD (DASHI, WHO’S VERY GREAT BUT IS ALSO THE WORLD’S HEAVIEST SLEEPER, CAME DOWN TO SCOLD THEM. AT LEAST SHE GOT TOMMINOW AND BARROT TO SLEEP.) 

BUT STILL, THEIR ARGUMENT WAS ANNOYING. SHELLINGTON’S PARENTING BOOK SAID TO EXCUSE YOURSELF TO BREATHE BUT I GUESS THAT'S DIFFICULT WHEN YOU HAVE LIKE THIRTEEN KIDS. SHELLINGTON HAD COUNTED, BUT HIS RAGING HEADACHE MADE IT DIFFICULT TO REMEMBER. 

SHARCHINI HAD CRADLED A… BASIL PLANT CUTTING? WHILST DRIFTING TO SLEEP. SHELLINGTON GENTLY REMOVED IT AND PLACED IT BACK IN THE PROPAGATION STATION. THANKFULLY HALIBEET FELL ASLEEP QUICKLY TODAY. 

PIKATO WAS ATTEMPTING TO BLEND IN WITH THE PLANTS IN THE VEGIMAL QUARTERS, AND FELL ASLEEP IN A PLANT BOX AGAIN. SHELLINGTON WOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT HIM ROOTING INTO THE SOIL, BUT THANKFULLY HE’D ALREADY CHECKED THAT IT WOULDN’T HAPPEN. SHELLINGTON SCOOPED HIM UP AND PLACED HIM IN HIS DESIGNATED BED, INSTEAD OF THE PILLOW PILE WHICH A MAJORITY OF THE VEGIMALS PREFERRED TO SLEEP IN. 

DASHI HAD MADE BREAD TODAY. IT WAS DELICIOUS. SHELLINGTON NOTED THAT. HE ALSO ACCIDENTALLY ALMOST CRASHED A GUP TODAY. OOPS. AT LEAST HE ISN’T STUCK IN A CAVE TODAY. HE WASN’T EVEN DRIVING. TWEAK IS STILL BLAMING HIM.

OOPS.

SHELLINGTON HAS DECIDED THAT HIS THOUGHTS ARE GOING TO BE IN FULL CAPS LOCK. HE FEELS IT ARTICULATES HIS THOUGHTS IN A WAY WORDS DO NOT AT TIMES. IF YOU ARE READING HIS JOURNAL, WHICH YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO , YOU HAVE BEEN OFFICIALLY BANNED FROM JUDGING.

PESO ALSO GAVE HIM THE CONCERNED STARE WHEN SEEING HIS EYEBAGS. HE’D SAY FASCINATING BUT IT WAS MORE PECULIAR.

IT MAY BE THE EYEBAGS.

BUT IT WASN’T EXACTLY HIS FAULT THAT HE HASN’T SLEPT IN.. erm.. ahem.. 1.. 2… oh fascinating!! THREE DAYS! A NEW HIGH SCORE!! HE HAS BEEN RUNNING ON COFFEE, DREAMS, AND HYPERACTIVITY!! SHELLINGTON WAS CURRENTLY LAUGHING MANIACALLY. HE WAS NOW STANDING IN HIS LAB. THE COFFEE CUPS STREWN AROUND THE ROOM WAS PROOF OF HIS SUCCESS. PESO MAY THROTTLE HIM WHEN HE FINDS OUT. OOPS.

OF COURSE! HE NEEDS TO CLEAN!

SHELLINGTON DOWNED HIS COFFEE THAT APPEARED RIGHT FROM THE COCOA MACHINE HE REWIRED TO MAKE COFFEE. HE CONSUMED EXACTLY 2 AND A HALF FISH BISCUITS HIS LOVELY KIDS VEGIMALS HAD MADE THEM. OH HOW HE LOVES HIS CHILDREN– WAIT NO THEY’RE JUST HIS FRIENDS. THEY AREN’T HIS KIDS.

BUT THEN AGAIN HE DID JUST SPEND OVER AN HOUR TUCKING THEM INTO BED. JUMPING JELLYFISH. HE MAY JUST SEE HIS VEGIMAL FRIENDS AS HIS CHILDREN.

BEFORE SHELLINGTON COULD SPIRAL ON THIS TOPIC MORE, HE HEARD A VERY LOUD THUMP.

JUMPING JELLYFISH, WHAT WAS THAT? HE’D BETTER INVESTIGATE. HE HAULED HIMSELF OFF THE FLOOR THAT HE DEFINITELY DID NOT REMEMBER LAYING DOWN ON, AND DRAGGED HIMSELF OVER TO THE OCTO-SHOOT. A STRANGE WAVE OF IRRITATION COURSED THROUGH HIS BODY. THERE HAD BETTER NOT BE AN OCTO-ALERT-WORTHY SITUATION. IT MAY TURN FROM JUMPING JELLYFISH TO I'M GOING TO JUMP SOME JELLYFISH. 

THEN AGAIN, SHELLINGTON WOULD NEVER. HE FELT GUILT COURSE THROUGH HIS SYSTEM, AND FLOPPED INTO THE OCTO-SHOOT LIKE A DRUNK MAN. HE MAY BE DRUNK ON CAFFINE, ACTUALLY. HE SHOULD DO MORE RESEARCH ON THAT SHORTLY.

ONCE ESCAPING THE OCTO-SHOOTS, AND LANDING ON THE FLOOR OF THE HQ, HE SIMPLY LAID THERE. HE SUPPOSED HE GOT A BIT BANGED UP ON THE TRIP DOWN. OOPS. IT MAY HAVE BEEN THE FACT HE DEFINITELY DID NOT USE THE PROPER TECHNIQUE TO TRAVEL THROUGH THE OCTO-SHOOTS. HE INTERNALLY GROANED. OR EXTERNALLY. HE DOESN’T KNOW. SOME SCIENTIST, HE IS. CAN’T EVEN FOLLOW BASIC PROTOCOL.

ALSO HIS PAWS WERE SHAKING. ALSO HE PROBABLY LOST HIS HAT. OR MAYBE A FEW HOURS AGO. BARROT MAY HAVE SNATCHED IT AGAIN. HONESTLY, HIS VISION WAS PRETTY BLURRY. MAYBE HE WILL JUST TAKE A QUICkk… power… nap.

Fascinating. He’d essentially gone to sleep. Now for his consciousness to sleep.

darkness.

Chapter Text

Shellington woke up to sterile lights. Per usual in the octopod. Yet, the air felt very.. Sanitary. Shellington did tend to prefer sanitary though, especially in his lab. However, this was much more sanitary-feeling than his lab. Where was he? He couldn’t exactly remember. His mind was foggy. Did his kids move his sleeping body around? Wait. His KIDS? Nope! He meant the Vegimals. His friends , who he technically did raise.

Wait a minute, didn’t he POSTPONE that mental spiral?? Indeed, he did!! Jumping Jellyfish! His mind is all over the place! When did he even think that in the first place??

His confusion was interrupted by a particularly penguin-shaped shadow looming over his bed. WHEN DID HE GET IN A BED HE’S SO CONFUSED PLEASE–

“SHELLINGTON.” PESO’S VOICE BOOMED THROUGH THE ROOM. THE SHADOW ONLY GREW. “I HAVE FOUND. 

NOT ONE. NOT TWO. 

BUT THIRTY SEVEN AND FIVE-SIXTHS OF A MUG OF SUSTENANCE IN YOUR LAB.” SHELLINGTON SWEAT DROPPED.

“NOT ONLY WAS THERE SO MANY, NOT ONLY DID YOU USE UP ALLLLLLLL OF THE MUGS IN THE OCTOPOD, NO.”

“IT WAS COFFEE!!!” PESO PROCLAIMS. HIS EYES COME INTO VIEW.. SHELLINGTON NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH FEAR THE SHORT PENGUIN COULD CAUSE UNTIL PESO WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND CHOSE BLOODCURDLING VIOLENCE.

SHELLINGTON HASN’T FELT SUCH PURE FEAR SINCE THAT ONE TIME HE OUTRAN A VOLCANIC LAVA FLOW WITH DASHI AND THE COCONUT CRABS, WHILST ROLLING A BEACHED WHALE OFF THE BEACH WHILST KWAZII AND TWEAK NEARLY DIED IN AT LEAST 7 DIFFERENT WAYS INCLUDING A GARBAGE COMPACTOR, AND HIS OTHER COWORKERS SLID OFF A VOLCANO MID ERUPTION.

SHELLINGTON WAS GOING TO DIE TODAY. PROBABLY.

PESO PULLED OUT SOMETHING.

IT APPEARED TO BE A ROCKET LAUNCHER.

JUMPING JELLYFISH, HE WAS GOING TO DIE TODAY!!

SOMETHING IN SHELLINGTON SAID RUN. RUN. RUN. BUT THE OTHER PART SIMPLY ACCEPTED HIS FATE. HIS COWORKER WAS ENDING HIM. HERE AND NOW.

PESO SIMPLY TOOK A FEW STEPS BACK, READYING THE LAUNCHER. AT LEAST SHELLINGTON WOULD GO OUT WITH A BANG. LITERALLY.

AS SHELLINGTON WHISPERED OUT THE SECOND TO LAST PARAGRAPH OF HIS WILL, AND TENSED UP AS HE HEARD THE LAUNCHER FIRING UP, HE WAS PLEASED TO NOTE CAPTAIN BARNACLES CONFISCATING THE ROCKET LAUNCHER.

Shellington exhaled. It was shaky at best, and let out some kind of hollow sound. At least his arms weren’t buzzing around anymore. Now he could hold a pen!! The positives are good to note. Very good. 

Because he was 50% sure Barnacles would either give Tweak or Kwazii the rocket launcher to dispose of, and neither are good options. The other 50% was to give it to Dashi. And that 50% was preferable. He wouldn’t appreciate a minor war between Tweak and Kwazii, because that’s likely what would happen if either of them received a rocket launcher.

Dashi would probably just dismantle the launcher. Probably.

Anyways, now he would just take his mildly exhausted body out of the medbay, before Peso could Ha Cha Hoy Yah him 2,000 feet out of the ocean. One foot down, and Barnacles was still scolding Peso. the floor was cold, and for some reason, Peso took his boots.

Another foot…. Shellington nearly had his other paw that functioned as a foot basically on the ground. Curse Peso, Shellington wasn’t prepared for death threats early… – Shellington looked at the clock – AHEM! Late Tuesday Evening!

Shellington got into the best sneaking away stance he could, and flopped the rest of his mildly useless body off of the bed. Success. Now, all he needed to do was get to the Octo-Shoot. A few more steps. Shellington kept his gaze down, and shut his eyes for a brief second whilst putting a bare foot forward.

He was then gently picked up by the scruff of his uniform like the wet baby kitten pictures Dashi and his messages were filled with.

“Shellington.” it was more of a statement, and by the gruff, deep, but still gentle voice, it had to be Barnacles. Shellington blinked his eyes open.

“Where are you going?” Barnacles was actually only a few years older than him, he found out through his estimates; Nobody, and he means NOBODY actually knows how old he is. Maybe Professor Inkling. Barnacles was like everyone’s father (except for inkling who actually acts like everyone’s grandpa. He keeps biscuits in his library for them. It's pretty endearing, actually). He wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or not.

Because Nobody (with a CAPITAL N) would dare disobey Barnacles right in front of him (most of the time, because Kwazii exists).

Shellington is also a TERRIBLE liar, and was now, how do the young fish say it?? Oh yeah, Cooked. So cooked. Deep fried.

“I-uh- to water the plants!!” that should do it!

“Er, I thought the vegimals do that?” Barnacles replied skeptically. He raised a nonexistent eyebrow.

“Ah- you know! Just helping out!” Shellington spoke quickly, before detaching himself from Barnacles, looking at a nonexistent watch, and shouting, “Jumping Jellyfish! I got to go!”

He then proceeded to hurl himself through the Octo-Shoot. Again. His poor back.

Chapter Text

SHELLINGTON ESCAPED THE OCTO-SHOOT. HE NEEDED TO GET TO THE VEGIMAL SLEEPING QUARTERS AND BE PRODUCTIVE. TOP PRIORITY. PLAY OFF THE REALLY REALLY BAD LIE HE JUST SPAT OUT.

He probably wouldn’t be fired for this. Probably.

He couldn’t lose this job. It was his everything. Although his sister would probably enjoy working with her brother, Pearl and his relationship haven’t really improved to that level. He can still see Pearl begging their mother not to— Wow! He was certainly spiraling today!!

Shellington landed on his posterior, and was met with 25 little eyes staring him down. Where is Sharchini’s other eye, was the first question to answer. But to do that, he’d have to escape the looks of all 13 of his kids. Wait not kids these are his FRIENDS. NOT KIDS. Anyways, Shellington slid sideways, towards the wall. Maybe he’d be able to go around the horde.

He was met with a fish biscuit to the face. And then Tunip cursed him out in Vegimalese. And then thirteen Vegimals cursed him out in Vegimalese. About not drinking so much coffee.

He was going to die today. Maybe it was just fate. Shellington let his eyes gracefully fall shut, one tear slipping out, as the shouts of his children faded into the background.

Shellington woke up in an interesting place. Bright blue skies, definitely not 2,000 ft under the ocean. Damn. He didn’t even get depressurized! He must be dead from exploding from low pressure. Damn.

Damn he’s saying Damn a lot. Shellington once visited a dam, he recalled. It was tall.

Really tall.

He was laying in grass. Really soft grass. It was still disconcerting, however. It was really atrociously green grass, and Shellington wasn’t very accustomed to grass considering his entire Sea Otter identity.

Shellington willed himself to roll over. A garden. He was in a garden, an empty one.

He wobbled up, just as he normally does whenever on land after a long time on the octopod. He stumbled out, to look around. There were other gardens, and they were MASSIVE. The garden he emerged from was the only barren one. Some grew some berries, flowers, etc. and some rivaled real rainforests he’d visited.

Some.. figure approached. And Shellington GAAAASSSPED. “Jumping Jellyfish!! Are you… a human!?”

The mythical being inched closer. Shellington stepped back.

“oh em gee what the skibidi are you an animal?” the creature asked. Shellington doesn’t have the processing power to comprehend ‘oh em gee,’ but also he had no idea what ‘skibidi’ was.

“Erm, actually,” Jumping Jellyfish, they were multiplying. A new one popped out from behind it, pushed back their glasses with one finger, before sticking it in the air. The first specimen appeared agitated from its behavior, whilst the second one remained unaware. “Humans are also animals.”

The first specimen’s irritation became clear, as he pulled out what appeared to be a giant coconut. ‘Gruber would love one of these,’ was the only thought in his mind as he was brutally thrown back, and his flying body went through the open gate, all the way past the empty rows, before he violently hit the back fence.

Shellington blinked his eyes, trying to clear away the blurriness. It was unsuccessful, and all he could see were massive blurry.. fruit? Fascinating! Was that a Pinapple? It must be nearly as tall the Octopod! (Which is really tall, in his opinion)

Shellington, however, could not process more, because he promptly knocked out. Bummer.

Chapter Text

Instead of waking up in the Octopod, like how he subconsciously begged for in his sleep, he woke up in the dirt. 

He still needed to figure out where on the planet he was. The sky was still as horrifically blue as ever, and although the dirt was soft, it didn’t interact with his fur nicely. 

Sitting up, the world still looked mostly similar with the exception that the contained jungles nearby the plot of dirt Shellington kept waking up in, were replaced with smaller.. gardens? They had what appeared to be mere corn and berries growing.

Shellington slowly scrambled to his feet. He was still dizzy from his potential concussion, but it would probably be fine.

Emphasis on Probably. Capital P.

After grabbing onto the fence, he looked around. More mythical beings. Not much fur. Or flippers. Or feathers. Skin. Stood on two legs like he did, yet somehow, different. Tall. Jumping Jellyfish, he was still not used to it.

It seemed they were all farming, Shellington noted, as he observed intently. They seemed to possess the ability to teleport to a few different places. Fascinating.

Shellington would record this in his field journal, but the fever dream he was currently stuck in didn’t give him it. Instead, he stared at them and mentally noted things. 

It seemed he was observing too obviously, because the mythical strange oddities were now staring at him, with mixed expressions. He was doing nothing but looking around whilst standing in what appeared to be an empty garden.

To continue watching, he’d need cover. And to conform to social norms. With a huff, and a will to get to the seed shop, he set off.

SHELLINGTON USUALLY INTERNALLY DESPISED SOCIAL NORMS. WITH A RAGING, FIERY PASSION TYPICALLY UNHEARD OF IN THE DEPTHS HE WAS FROM. 

TODAY, HOWEVER, HE WAS DELIGHTED.

HE PLANTED SOME CARROT SEEDS. THEY SPROUTED NEAR INSTANTLY. FASCINATING.

ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING.

SHELLINGTON ALSO GREW A TOMATO PLANT. THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS THAT IT GREW AT LEAST 200 FT TALL. TYPICALLY, HE’D HAVE TO PUT IT ON A CAGE TO EVEN GET TO 3 FT.

MAGICAL TOMATOES.

AND WHEN SPECIFIC WEATHER CONDITIONS OCCURED, HIS CROPS WOULD BECOME ENCHANTED.

AND JUMPING JELLYFISH, IT WAS BECOMING HARD TO MISS HOME. ACTUALLY, HE COULDN’T REALLY REMEMBER WHERE HOME WAS. HE JUST THOUGHT OF IT WHEN WATER FELL FROM THE SKIES. LOTS OF WATER. IT WOULD BE FINE THOUGH, SHELLINGTON WAS IN A PLACE WHERE NOTHING COULD GO WRONG!!

SHELLINGTON SLEPT IN HIS BERRY BUSHES BENEATH HIS PECULIARLY LARGE APPLE TREE. THE NEIGHBORS DIDN’T COMMUNICATE WITH HIM MUCH. ONE HANDED HIM A 10 FOOT WIDE COCONUT. IT TERRIFIED SHELLINGTON AND HE SPRANT AWAY.

HE WAS STILL SCARED OF THE COCONUT IN HIS INCREDIBLY SPACIOUS BACKPACK HE’D ACQUIRED SOMEWHERE. IT ACTIVATED HIS FIGHT OR FLIGHT. WHICH WAS WEIRD. IT WAS A COCONUT.

coconut.. 

Coconut…

Coconut crab? 

Claude, Claudette, Clive, Clam, and Clarerence!

Who was that? 

Lava. lava. Lava. stuck friend. What was a friend?  Save. save. Coconut crabs. Good. protect.

Hm. strange. 

Shellington looked at his hands. They seemed smaller. He felt taller. Perhaps he was correcting his posture.

why were his hands so pale? Shellington was confused. They seemed smaller. Shellington never realized he had opposable thumbs.

Shellington was confused. 

He wasn’t confused for long, because he realized that it was night!! And he could get magical fruit now!!

HOORAY. SHELLINGTON HAD MAGIC FRUIT.

SHELLINGTON NEVER REALIZED HOW GREAT CAPITALISM WAS UNTIL HE BENEFITTED FROM IT. WOW.

DAMN HE LOVES GETTING MONEY.

SO MANY SHECKLES HE HAS. AND A SHIT TON OF CARROT SEEDS. 783 CARROT SEEDS.

ONE OF THE MYTHICAL HUMANS WHO HE SEEMED MORE LIKE EVERY DAY GAVE HIM A STARFISH.

AS A……….

what was his job called again?

a marine biologist?

oh, he used to dream of being a marine biologist.

shellington doesn’t dream anymore.

ANYWAYS SO HE REALLY LIKES WHATEVER THIS STARFISH CREATURE IS. ONLY DOWNSIDE IS THAT SALLY GIVES HIM A STRANGE LOOK THAT HE CANNOT DECIPHER FILLED WITH A STRANGE EMOTION. PITY. 

shellington is not a pitiful ott— man. he is not a pitiful man. he looks at himself in his nonexistent mirror and thinks of his greatness. of the blessing he is to this world as he strips it of everything that is good, all for himself. and lord, how he loves money.

he does not think of how he cannot recognize the person in this theoretical mirror.

SHELLINGTON PLANTS A BEANSTALK. AND HE CLIMBS UP. THERE IS NO WIND.

NO SMELL.

SHELLINGTON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT SMELL IS.

NOR TASTE.

SHELLINGTON DOES NOT NEED TO EAT. NOR TO SLEEP. HE IS BUILT DIFFERENT.

shellington stabs his shovel in the ground. Looks at his exquisite garden. Looks at his hands, his feet. the garden is colorful and massive. His pockets are lined.

who is shellington?

the figure, the mystery mythical human being, stares down at his shovel.

he begins to walk.

walks a long while.

an emptiness takes hold in what is apparently its soul.

what is identity? the figure asks to the blank horizon.

and when it reaches the edge, the abrupt drop, he waits.

plants both of its feet on the very cusp of true nothingness.

it is a perfect sky.

and if means a whopping nothing.

it waits for something to push it over.

it looks over the corner of its shoulder.

sees a coconut.

lava. lava. save them. run. run. Run. DANGER. DANGER. DANGER.

SAVE THEM.

TURN AROUND. GO BACK. LAVA. LAVA. touch it.

SAVE THEM.

it leans a bit too far forward.

is consumed by the void.

the ever perfect blue skies and clouds swallow the perfect amalgamation, the mythical mystery being, whole.

it does not rest.