Derealization
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No Weapon But Hate by Carmarthen
Fandoms: Les Misérables - Victor Hugo, Les Misérables - All Media Types
23 Mar 2013
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Jean Valjean realizes that there is yet more that Toulon could take from him.
Note: This story contains some offscreen rape of OCs, perceived sexual threat from someone in authority, a brief mention of suicide, internalized homophobia, and the main character spends much of his time dissociated from his surroundings. There is no graphic onscreen rape.
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And I saw the multitude of faces, honest, rich and clean. | He knows the difference between alive and dead. He knows it very well.
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Patriotic by E14
Fandoms: Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - Victor Hugo, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil
30 Oct 2014
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A new member joins Les Amis, and he seems to be the perfect revolutionary; even Enjolras is impressed with him. Grantaire, however, is cautious and is later forced to make an ultimate sacrifice for the sake of the Revolution.
Series
- Part 2 of The Price We Pay
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we, in the eye of the storm by weatheredlaw
Fandoms: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
24 Jul 2013
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"If we don't end war, war will end us." -- H.G. Wells
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//Well, okay, here’s the thing - they say they know it’s not real, but sometimes they’re lying in bed and they feel like they can’t move and they feel empty and they don’t feel like a solid being and they don’t know what being dead feels like and they don’t know what not being real feels like but they’re pretty sure if either of those things even had a feeling, it would be this.//
Newt doesn't ever tell anyone, but they're pretty sure they're not real.
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He might be a screw up, and he might never be totally okay, but Clint does know one thing.
He knows what's keeping him going. And he's pretty sure he knows what saved him.
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Fred is gone and coping is far beyond their reach.
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Matthew helps Will through the day he found out Beverly died.
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It's lonely out there, and it's hard to get through the night when you only have good memories of someone to sleep through it with.
(a two part poetry fic from both Cecil and Carlos' point of view.)
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The division is clear, between harriers and hunted. And he's on the wrong side of it.
Negatoys.
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So here you are, in the future. The rest is more complicated.
OR: Bucky Barnes learns how to be angry again.
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"Don't fall in love. Because if you do, your existence will fade from the world. This is a warning for your personal rapture."
Haruka thinks about this for a moment, before shrugging it off altogether. In the face of starless skies and impending doom, the solution, to him, is simple.
"Well...I guess I won't fall in love, then."
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hang your hat at somebody else's house by orphan_account for singingtomysoul
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
13 Nov 2014
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Something is deeply wrong with the world and it’s making Dennis very sick.
Series
- Part 1 of Checking In
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Second collection of stuff I written on/for tumblr. Some funny, some sexy, some violent, some kinky, and one Very-Bad-On-Purpose.
Follow me on tumblr: FuckYeahFightLock.tumblr.com
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Sokka is captured by the Fire Nation, tortured by Azula, and relentlessly raped by Ozai. After rescue, it's a bloody road to recovery. First chapter fairly mild, later chapters more explicit. Five chapters plus bonus material.
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A Faded Kind of Blue by pocket_cheese
Fandoms: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types, DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel)
27 Apr 2015
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Boketto (ボケット, ぼけっと) - To gaze vacantly into the distance, without thinking
...but Sly Blue can't stop thinking
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“Sometimes…sometimes I don’t feel like I’m human anymore. Sometimes I lose control of my body. I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t recognize the person staring back. Because I’m not a person. I’m a monster."
Or the one where Harry finds Niall when he's dissociating.
Trigger warnings for self harm, borderline personality disorder, dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, blood, and probably some other things that I can't think of at the moment. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS MIGHT IN ANY WAY HARM YOU!!!!!!
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Don’t worry about Lydia, Scott said, because he probably wants to keep her away from him. Except she's calling him back now, and it coaxes a painful lump to his throat, because of course she’s calling now. Of course she is. (Post 5x09)
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Ford never comes home. Weirdmageddon never happens. Slow summers past by lazily until finally the mystery twins left for college. They hugged each other at the air port. It would be the last time Dipper would see her in months. But he doesn't feel lonely, he tells himself.
As time wears on, he has more and more trouble sleeping. He has no friends, he has no energy. A familiar dream demon from his past appears and wants to make a deal- or else.
[Now with Hard of Seeing/Dyslexic/ADHD Friendly Skin] -
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I would travel any distance, from the highest mountain to the depths of hell. I can’t live this way anymore. Please, help me.
Recently widowed James Sunderland makes a wish.
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the still point of the turning world by fruitygoblin
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
08 Jun 2019
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"They’d been scheduled to meet on Tuesday, but Crowley hadn’t shown. He’d left a message, short and to the point, explaining that he’d had some things to do, and at any other time Aziraphale might have been offended at being stood up. But he wasn’t. Instead, he found himself worrying. He couldn’t name it, but things – in a general sense – weren’t as they should be. It was like looking at a design with the wrong dimensions, or an equation missing a crucial integer.
Something about the way he'd looked...
“Oh, honestly,” Aziraphale said to the empty room, and he reached up for his coat.
Or:
Crowley has an existential crisis. Aziraphale attempts to pick up the pieces.
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Bookmarked by ant_for_smt
02 Aug 2019
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crowley has a post-apocalyptic nervous breakdown
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Taming of the Blood by Anarchy_and_Piglins
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
04 May 2021
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There were different methods for a newcomer to assert their place on a server: make a grand entrance, come out guns blazing to wreak havoc, or flaunt their wealth. But none of those were as amusing as the challenge presented by wanting to put a collar on the Blood God himself.
Or: Technoblade catches the eye of a stranger and bad things unfold.
Series
- Part 1 of We Are Born to Break (But Built to Mend)
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- English
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- 22,717
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- 12/12
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Bookmarked by The__animefan
09 May 2021
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FINISHED THIS AMAZING FIC!! THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL FULL OF FLUFF
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oh baby, isnt life so fucking inconsistent by orphan_account
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP
23 Oct 2021
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Summary
TommyInnit changed soot’s nickname to BALD
BALD: why
TommyInnit changed their nickname to WIFE HAVER
WIFE HAVER: UR JST IN DENIAL WILBRU
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welcome to yet another dream smp-inspired chatfic. it is no longer sbi-centric, i have accepted my bench trio brainrot. we got friendly rivalries, minecraft people, and of course, an upcoming festival. what could go wrong?
rated teen for swearing
if any of the content creators express discomfort with this fic or fanfiction in general they will be edited out/this will be taken down :]Bookmarked by summer164
19 Jun 2021
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On ch 11
Ch 2 crowfather: i babysat them when i was in middle school
the grind: i am literally one year below you
crowfather: shush child
the grind: ok boomer
resident simp: ...im just gonna add the people i could get
Ch 4murderer: do you take us for people who actually have any life skills or just skills in general
resident simp: im sure there are someon amazon or something
Ch 9 HAVER: wheres ur dad???
BEE BOY: hes the silhouetre ar thw bortom og the brachjes
BEE BOY: hea reallu stirggling to try and guide me safely downt he tree rm
BEE BOY: he was sezrchinf for me for likw 3 houes apparentlu
BEE BOY: i donr want him to come up tho bc idj if tje tree will suppoet borh of us
Ch a0 Relaity breaks for a moment
Wait. Why did he feel like there was something else was in his arms?Looking down at Tubbo, the blond froze, staring at the thorny red vines now wrapping themselves around his arms, his torso, reaching for his face. Blood dripped down his sleeves, stained his vision red, and the brunette in his arms seemed to be absolutely drenched in the same hot substance. They stared at each other, red eyes meeting his own, face completely void of any emotion.
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Cloud, as a result of the trauma he has experienced, lives in a constant state of dissociation. He is unwilling to reach out for help, but luckily doesn’t have to—Tifa’s new bartender Genesis luckily has some experience with trauma.
Bookmarked by melbagirl
20 Feb 2022
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Most of all, he hated the word that came with ‘dissociation’: derealization . Because that, too, described an experience with unpleasant accuracy.
Cloud had noticed the way things sometimes get unreal to him—of course he had. But it had been happening for so long . Since Nibelheim. He hadn’t registered that as a problem to be fixed —he thought that was just how things were. A hold over from the mako, maybe.
But it had grown in consistency with the dissociation. Most of the time, now, Cloud was left in a strange haze of things not quite feeling real. He knew, objectively and logically, that they must be. They had to be. Everyone else was very convinced this was all real, after all, and he trusted his friends more than he trusted his own head. So if things didn’t quite feel real—like a dream, or like he was in a coma again, or maybe some sort of fever—it was usually negligible enough that he could ignore it. It was a gut instinct feeling, that none of this was actually happening, but he humored its legitimacy, because he trusted his friends.
That was only most of the time, however. Sometimes, it tore him under like a rip current, and it wasn’t something he could ignore anymore. Sometimes it was cloying, the fact that what he was experiencing was not real. It was inescapable, a palpable truth, that none of this mattered because none of it was truly happening. In those moments, he wondered why he was bothering. Why was he polite, when these people weren’t real? Why did he do his job, if this wasn’t the real world? Why did he care if he was rude to his friends, if he ate or didn’t, if he answered his PHS, when none of this was actually happening?
In those moments, where everything felt so undeniably fake to him—thin and tinny and stretched wrong—Cloud had to carefully remind himself of what he accepted as truth. That he trusted his friends, and his friends said this was real. That even if it didn’t feel real, he had to pretend that it was. Because, what was the other option? Throw caution to the wind, do whatever he wanted, and bank entirely on this all being false, and that there wouldn’t be consequences? What if he hurt someone like that? Would it be so bad to follow along, to play pretend, just in case? It was better to err on the side of caution, to act like this was real, because if he didn’t, and it was, he could do so much damage so fast. He didn’t want to become Sephiroth.
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Walking Study in Demonology by ijustwanttodestroy
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
17 Sep 2024
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Eijirou looks at the talisman. And then does a double take.
“This just says ‘fuck off’ in kanji,” Eijirou says to Midoriya.
“It’s very effective,” Midoriya says to Eijirou.
“What the hell is going on,” Jirou says to the room.
(In which the dorms are haunted and Midoriya is an exorcist. In, you know, a manner of speaking.)
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- 89,926
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- 10/10
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Bookmarked by aramasa
26 Oct 2022
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was convinced this was abandoned so glad it wasn't. learned + explained the bootstrap paradox to other ppl thro this fic!!! absolutely fucking bonkers i think everyone should read it .
update now that I’ve reread and finished it:
GOD this fic fucks. oh my god. the amount of physics I learned and relearned was crazy . this is such banger metafiction..? god. i love u op. everyone else .. go read this fic … now … -
Soultide by FeatheredMask
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, Empires SMP
17 Feb 2023
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When leaving a session of Double Life and going back to the Hermitcraft server, something glitches. Grian and Scar find that they're still linked — and so are all the other Double Life duos. Mumbo's soul deal back in S8 comes back to haunt him, turning a duo into a trio. The stakes raise exponentially when Grian realizes he's on hardcore.
This is a time of souls, and it's a race to figure out how to fix this glitch before someone runs into a creeper.
Series
- Part 2 of Unreal Reality
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- English
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- 81,377
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- 30/30
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- 594
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Bookmarked by EclecticKefi
04 Dec 2022
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When leaving a session of Double Life and going back to the Hermitcraft server, something glitches. Grian and Scar find that they're still linked — and so are all the other Double Life duos. Mumbo's soul deal back in S8 comes back to haunt him, turning a duo into a trio. The stakes raise exponentially when Grian realizes he's on hardcore.
This is a time of souls, and it's a race to figure out how to fix this glitch before someone runs into a creeper.
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Vex Scar in Chapter 22 -
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Once Isaac had mastered the skills he needed to survive, Mother would have to be so very proud.
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kaleidoscope telescope by scioscribe
Fandoms: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, James Bond (Movies)
28 Nov 2012
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Summary
He must, he thinks--and it’s the last sane thought he will have for some time--be very lonely.
Survival and resistance are tricky things, in the absence of light and sound, but Bond's training was very thorough, and his history of being watched is very handy.
Bookmarked by Push_To_Talk
17 Mar 2023
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there is something and there is nothing, there is nothing in between
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The Collector is gone, Belos is dead. The Boiling Isles are reeling from the violent aftermath of the Emperor's onslaught. Darius has taken Hunter in as his caretaker. Hunter is reeling from the extreme trauma of losing Flapjack, Belos's attempted possession, and the massive tragedies that him and his friends have experienced.
Darius watches as Hunter crumbles and collapses under the mental strain of his trauma, and works to do everything in his power to stop Hunter from reaching the point of no return.
Spoilers for S3E3, Watching and Dreaming.
Series
- Part 3 of The Shame That You Don't Feel
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- English
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Bookmarked by GeekTheSiren
22 Apr 2023
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it's. so sad to see my beloved hunter slipping further and further away. Just. Just tell them, please. You need help.
edit: OH GOD IT GOT WORSE
This is a really good fic. I'm guessing part of the reason the meds are fucking with him so badly is the fact he's almost certainly underweight, I know from experience how that can screw w your dosages. This is fantastically written.
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I'm Still Standing (Better than I Ever Did) by Beeswriting
Fandoms: Five Nights at Freddy's
01 Jul 2023
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Michael has everything he could want at this point in his existence. He waits to arrive at death's door, but finds himself face to face with two people he remembers seeing on gravestones. He is content with his beautifully tragic ending and they... Well, they are not.
OR:
Two of his father's victims send Michael back in time to ensure a happy ending. He's not so sure of himself.
Updates every Saturday! (and occasionally random days when I get too excited to wait)
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It was as if lava had poured down their bond. Both Tommy and Wilbur went down with a scream, desperately trying to cut their bond, but it was too late.
By the time the lava cooled, and all the hunters were taken down, there was no magic to be called upon. As if the lave had turned to bedrock right in their core. As if all of their magic was hidden away behind unbreakable stone.
“Tommy,” Wilbur had gritted, jaw tight and eyes hard with anger. “What did you do?”
Bad luck, the card had said. Bad luck.
Tommy hadn’t proved himself. Tommy had embarrassed himself, Tommy had ruined Wilbur’s magic.
And it was all Tommy's fault.
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After a spell leaves Tommy and Wilbur without magic, Tommy takes it upon himself to fix it. But after his solution, Tommy is stuck unwillingly going to alternate realities--of the futures that Wilbur has changed.
When Tommy's memory begins to slip, and he never knows if he's in his reality or a different one, he fights against what's real, what's fake, and what he feels he has to do to make up for his mistake.
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Bookmarked by Xi (xikyuu)
29 Aug 2023
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i thought about this often /pos
11/13/23 edit: i do think about it often- probably one of my favorite fics ever
1/30/24: still one of my favorites. i love the magical dissociation sm im sjdbbckksnsn -
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He understood this trope easily. Isekai, he believed it was called. It was when a character was suddenly transported into a new or unfamiliar world. It was technically a subgenre of the widely popular fantasy genre.
And now, Kim Dokja was that character transported into a new world, though it wasn't unfamiliar.
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“I’m fine.”
Sausage scoffed, the hint of a smile back on his face. “You know saying that you’re fine usually means you’re far from, right?” When Martyn didn’t reply, he took off his hat and laid it down in his lap. “You’ve just been … a little off. Today, yesterday, the past week. It’s not like you to be so annoyed or distant.”
He had to look away, because he looked too similar to other Sausages from different worlds, and he did it just in time to see a ship sail in front of the setting sun, its shadows creating strange shapes on the ocean surface. It was easier to look at than his concern. Sailing wasn’t difficult, being on the ocean was freeing, but talking? Hiding his emotions? Impossible.
Or, Martyn has a hard time dealing with being alone in the datastream, but he’s not as alone as he thinks he is. Sausage is right there after all.
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You know, I don't think this guy has any sort of mental stability left.
Bookmarked by InfernoXx
18 Jun 2024
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quietly bookmarks(finished)
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Let It Burn by Fells_Kitten (SquirrleyCow)
Fandoms: Undertale (Video Game), Underfell - Fandom
20 Jan 2023
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Sans dedicates every waking moment of his life to keep his little brother safe, happy, and blissfully ignorant of their father's depravity. He lives for the moments he can steal away with Papyrus and pretend their life is normal, happy. But as Gaster's stranglehold on Sans' life begins to loosen, he finds more to live for. He finds himself fighting back with disastrous consequences. And for the first time he's willing to risk everything for a chance at not just surviving, but actually living.
Grillby has loved Sans from a distance, not wanting to complicate the young mans' life further. While he doesn't know the depth of Gaster's hold on Sans' psyche, he knows Sans doesn't feel safe at home and he knows the bruises he carries are deliberate. When Sans starts to butt heads with his father over the budding relationship with the gentle barkeeper, Grillby does his best to comfort and care for him; supporting him through the trials of recovery as their lives become inextricably bound together.
*A prequel to the events in Lucky Strike and Us In Motion which are set in the Underfell AU.
*This is a stand-alone plot.
Series
- Part 4 of Don't You Remember?
Bookmarked by SargeWritesFanfiction
21 Sep 2024
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Let It Burn by (Fells_Kitten) SquirrleyCow
Summary:
Sans dedicates every waking moment of his life to keep his little brother safe, happy, and blissfully ignorant of their father's depravity. He lives for the moments he can steal away with Papyrus and pretend their life is normal, happy. But as Gaster's stranglehold on Sans' life begins to loosen, he finds more to live for. He finds himself fighting back with disastrous consequences. And for the first time he's willing to risk everything for a chance at not just surviving, but actually living.Grillby has loved Sans from a distance, not wanting to complicate the young mans' life further. While he doesn't know the depth of Gaster's hold on Sans' psyche, he knows Sans doesn't feel safe at home and he knows the bruises he carries are deliberate. When Sans starts to butt heads with his father over the budding relationship with the gentle barkeeper, Grillby does his best to comfort and care for him; supporting him through the trials of recovery as their lives become inextricably bound together. *A prequel to the events in Lucky Strike and Us In Motion which are set in the Underfell AU.*This is a stand-alone plot. -
autopilot days by SpeedingCheetah
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)
21 Aug 2023
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You know that feeling where you’re running too fast downhill and you just can’t get yourself to slow down and stop, so you end up stumbling and hiccuping and rolling onto your knees—scraping them, tearing yourself in a million directions, and cracking your head open like you weren’t just running too fast originally?
That was Izuku’s life. He didn’t know how to stop running too fast.
(or: izuku is a vigilante in the foster system, trying to heal when his memories won’t let him, and trying to slow down so that someone can finally catch him and hold him steady so he doesn’t scrape his knees anymore.)
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Achilles, Come Down by HotCocoaaa
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
25 Dec 2022
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“Satoru?” The word rings, fuzzy in his ears as it whines like tinnitus, familiar and heart stopping.
‘I’m dead.’ He can’t even hear his own thoughts over the loudness of the world, staggering where he stands, eyes still fixated on the sky, on the sun. ‘I’m dead, I died, I felt my heart stop, this can’t be, it can’t-’
“Hey,” it comes again, a little more urgent than before, a little closer, another hammer to his ears and all the noise shrieking behind his eyes. He recoils hard enough to go stumbling as a hand reaches for him, covered in flesh rather than empty bone, tan and recognizable. Unbelievable.
There’s something wet trickling from his nose. Bile stings on the back of his tongue. The words dissolve into the rest of the white noise as he stares up at the blue of the sky, and tries to remember if he’d ever had a hallucination as bright as this.
‘I have to be dead,’ he thinks. Somehow, he isn’t.
Or: Gojo Satoru goes back in time. He makes a couple of changes for the better.
Series
- Part 1 of The Odyssey
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Bookmarked by aeternamutans
27 Jan 2025
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He lets one eye be uncovered, lets himself be scrutinized, even though he doesn’t really remember how to exist under someone else’s gaze anymore, lets Suguru do whatever he wants.
‘Wasn’t that how we got into that mess in the first place?’ He wonders, and rips the thought apart as soon as it comes. He dithers for a moment after, stuck in between the softness of the duvet and Suguru’s stupid strong thighs. He opens his mouth, shuts it, opens it again, just for nothing to come out. He gives up when his eyes start burning with the combined force of what are probably tears, the strain from being unused to his own sight, the world at large, and general humanity. When the dizziness hits him, he just closes his eyes and lets it have at it.
“Hey. Are you okay?” Suguru asks, energy snapping around him and tone leveling out with the quiet of the room now that he’s decided not to be an ass. Satoru lifts his shoulders in a wordless shrug. Already hyper-aware of the fingertips that rest halfway on his stomach where his shirt’s still rumpled, he wishes he was more exhausted so he could handle it better when the pad of a thumb presses a small circle into the palm of the hand that Suguru lifted from his face. Does he know? He has to know. He doesn’t know he’s not real.
‘This is real,’ he thinks, almost reflexively at this point, and doesn’t doubt it. The prison was disgustingly underwhelming; this is entirely overwhelming. He doesn’t really remember how to do this anymore. He thinks he forgot a long time before he was sealed, when he forgot how to live without wishing to die.
(...)
The pressure, always growing and growing and growing when he’d been a child, told to be perfect, told to be inhuman, told to become a god and leave his humanity in a heap on the floor. Finding it again years and years later, losing it when the person he’d decided to be mortal for had told him murder would have a meaning, and shrugging it on again wrong like a wrinkled shirt after. Or maybe he’d left it to gather dust, completely forgotten in those old, winding hallways.“Satoru,” Suguru starts again, and he cuts him off, the words sharp.
‘God,’ something whispers in his ear.
“I don’t,” he says, the old feeling of traditional clothing starchy and stiff on his frame, told over and over again that he was the most important, that the peace of the world sat on his shoulders, that his only purpose was to balance it because it was his fault it’d been broken-
Ch6
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Tags
Summary
He understood this trope easily. Isekai, he believed it was called. It was when a character was suddenly transported into a new or unfamiliar world. It was technically a subgenre of the widely popular fantasy genre.
And now, Kim Dokja was that character transported into a new world, though it wasn't unfamiliar.
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- English
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- 121,356
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- 26/26
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- 334
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Bookmarked by KindaWolfy
31 Jul 2025
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This one looks a bit hard to tag, so I may change these when I read this in full.
"Derealization is a mental state where you feel detached from your surroundings, perceiving the world as unreal, dreamlike, or distorted" - Google AI summary.
This looks to be exploring a what-if where an individual who doesn't feel attached to reality is suddenly isekai-ed. This aligns well with how Dokja in canon feels a separation between people who are "characters" and "real people" and is represented through the "Fourth Wall". The fact that this is deactivated at the very start of this story seems to suggest that this theme of realism will be very important to this story.
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(something happens and I'm) head over heels by GibbousLunation
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
16 Jan 2023
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Summary
Eddie made a strangled disbelieving noise, expression flickering. “You are not apologizing to me right now, for like, feeling a normal way about stuff. I can’t believe you.”
Steve pushed a shaking hand through his hair. His heart rate no longer in his ears meant he felt he could at least think a little more clearly. “Maybe it was the heat. Doesn’t always have to be something messed up, right?”
Eddie gave him a placating nod. “Sure, heat exhaustion is a helluva thing.”
It had been happening a lot recently. The… forgetting. Zonking out. Whatever. He was pretty sure he was just extra exhausted, it had been a few weeks since everything but it might have just been the adrenaline or something finally wearing off. Sometimes it was like he just forgot someone was speaking, or couldn’t remember for a moment what they’d been talking about. Like blinking out of a fog maybe.
It does not get better, in fact, it actually continues to get worse.
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Tags
Summary
This is a dream, right? It can’t be anything else. Even if Izuku is so endearing and intelligent and delightful and multifaceted and real that sometimes she weeps at the thought that he doesn’t really exist. Because it just can’t be real life—no matter how fiercely Izuku insists it is.
A girl finds herself in the universe of a shounen manga and, believing everything to be a figment of her imagination, proceeds under the assumption that none of her actions have consequences.
Unfortunately, they do.