Chapter Text
“Are you drinking?”
Lena looked up from her desk, her mind swirling in a fog of exhaustion and vague haze, puzzled about who had managed to slip into the building. She’d been here for hours now, the faint glow of the city outside spilling through the window, and yes, she’d taken a few sips- maybe more than a few- but she was Lena Luthor. She could hold her liquor. Or so she told herself.
But the voice that cut through her thoughts was softer, yet somehow sharper. “Lena? Could you please look at me?”
Her eyes traveled toward the source of that voice, slow and reluctant, finally settling on Kara- her former best friend? Her… whatever? Something more fragile now- arms crossed, a frown carved deep into her face, disappointment flickering behind those bright eyes. Lena’s stomach clenched.
Shit. She was hammered.
No, she wasn’t. Not really. Her thoughts felt sluggish, sluggish in a way that wasn’t entirely from the alcohol. She was just... tired. So tired. “Am not.” The words escaped her lips in a slurred whisper, a weak protest against her own awareness of her state.
Kara moved closer, her presence filling the room with an unspoken ache. Her expression was a mix of concern and something darker- disappointment, frustration, maybe even heartbreak. The dim light cast shadows over her face, making her look almost ethereal- like the Kara Lena remembered, but also like something she’d lost, or was desperately clinging to.
Lena’s gaze lingered, unbidden, fixated on the delicate shine of Kara’s curly hair, the way her face was so familiar yet so distant. She could stare forever if she wanted to. She could drown in the memory of her- her laugh, her smile, the way her eyes lit up when she was mad or happy or just simply there. A girl could stare at her former best friend -or perhaps her lost love? - if she wanted to. That was allowed. It was okay.
A light giggle bubbled up from her lips- soft, trembling, almost lost- and she only stopped when she noticed Kara’s fingers tapping impatiently, the tension in her stance growing.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Kara’s voice was sharper now, edged with a sorrow Lena couldn’t quite place. The anger in her tone made Lena’s chest tighten, a pang of guilt or maybe longing twisting inside her.
Oh no, the Kryptonian sounded mad. Lena tilted her head, her mind struggling to catch up with her feelings. She didn’t like it when Kara sounded like that. Her voice always gained this weight, this ache that made Lena’s heart feel like it was caught in a vice.
“Uhm... I don't know,” Lena mumbled, eyes flickering to the half-empty glass sitting before her. Her voice wavered, the words spilling out before she could think. “Having a drink? Want one?”
Kara ran a hand through her hair, her face shadowed with something unreadable. Muttered words Lena couldn’t quite catch escaped her lips, and Lena’s gaze drifted lazily over the glass, over the bottle still sitting on the desk- still sitting there, waiting.
“Do you think this is productive?” Kara finally asked, voice strained.
“Mhhhhh,” Lena answered, voice barely audible, slurring her words as she tried to dismiss the concern. She felt her cheeks flush- partly from the alcohol, partly from the ache inside her that she couldn’t quite suppress.
Kara ran a hand through her hair, muttering something under her breath that Lena couldn’t quite catch. Her voice was strained with frustration, maybe even a touch of heartbreak. “Do you think that this is productive?”
“Mhhhhh,” Lena replied, the sound losing some of its clarity, her head tilting slightly, eyes unfocused. She reached out lazily, her fingers hovering over the glass, but Kara was faster, grabbing it before she could.
“You’ve had more than enough of this,” Kara said, her tone almost growling as she held the glass out of Lena’s reach. “You’ve crossed a line, Lena. This isn’t you.”
Lena’s lips curled into a faint, bitter smile. Her mind was foggy, her body sluggish, but she could feel the ache inside her- this gnawing, relentless yearning for something just out of reach. She looked at Kara’s pupils slim, vertical slits- feline and wild, and her heart clenched painfully. “God, I don’t know how to deal with you sometimes,” Kara muttered, her voice heavier now. “This isn’t what I came here for.”
“What did you come here for?” Lena’s voice was quiet, almost wistful, like she was clutching at a fragile thread of hope. She tilted her head, studying Kara’s face as her thoughts drifted- unclear, fuzzy, but desperate. “Did you wanna yell at me?”
“No,” Kara replied quickly, her eyes never leaving Lena’s. “Well- maybe. If the situation escalated… if things got out of control.” Her voice was strained, as if she was holding back something she didn’t want to say.
Lena nodded slowly, lips turning downward in a bittersweet expression. “I get it,” she whispered, her voice hollow. “Did some… not good things.” Her brow furrowed, words weighing her down like stones. “My mouth feels like goo- no, stone?” She paused, trying to grasp the sensation. “Glue?”
“You’re too drunk for this,” Kara said softly, her voice laced with concern. She moved swiftly, grabbing the bottle still sitting on the desk and placing it high on a shelf, out of Lena’s reach. “No more alcohol tonight.”
“But I like the alcohol,” Lena pouted, a childish edge to her voice. Her eyes shimmered with a mixture of defiance and despair. “Makes everything… less.” She motioned inward, a slow, trembling gesture. “I like it when it’s less.”
Kara’s smile was sad, almost aching. “I know, Lee,” she whispered. “Trust me. But that’s not healthy. You can’t keep running from everything like this.”
Lena rolled her eyes, her voice slipping into a teasing tone, but there was a tremor beneath it. “Not ‘sposed to be healthy. Just ‘sposed to be less.” She crossed her arms, wobbling slightly on her chair, spinning it with a reckless abandon that betrayed her drunkenness. Yet, she underestimated her own momentum, and suddenly she was staring again, her gaze locking onto Kara’s face.
“Shucks,” she mumbled, voice thick. “This should’ve been dramatic.”
“You’ve been plenty dramatic lately,” Kara said, leaning forward, her hands braced on the table. “Don’t you think that you’ve had enough of the dramatics by now? Can’t we finally work all this out? Please?”
Lena’s chest ached at her tone- something in her felt heavy, a weight that wasn’t just the alcohol. There was something else- something she couldn’t quite name. She felt sorrow, yearning, a deep, unspoken ache that had been buried beneath layers of bravado. She wasn’t sure why, but her voice softened, almost pleading. “I don’t like the drama,” she said, her tone as serious as she could manage. “But it loooooves me.”
A slap echoed through the room as Kara facepalmed herself, her frustration palpable. “Not the time for song lyrics, Lena.”
“I thought you liked them,” Lena said, blinking slowly, her words drifting into a half-smile. She wasn’t entirely sure what she was saying anymore, or if she cared. “You're talking like I’m doing something bad.” Her eyebrow quirked, wobbling with the effort. “Then why does it feel so good?”
“Could you stop it? Please?” Kara’s voice was more strained now, the frustration spilling over. “I know you’re shit-faced and not in control, but I need you to think about what you’re saying. This is real life. Your actions have consequences, Lena. You can’t keep quoting songs and hope I’ll just disappear.”
Lena rolled her eyes again, her voice tinged with mockery. “You’re grumpy.”
“Says the person drinking herself into oblivion to feel less,” Kara shot back, her voice softening with a hint of heartbreak. “Get up. I’ll fly you home.”
But Lena shook her head, letting herself slump backward in the chair, her voice muffled but resolute. “Nope. I’m gonna stay here.”
“That can’t be comfortable,” Kara said softly, a flicker of concern crossing her face.
“It’s okay,” Lena muttered, eyes fluttering shut like a child refusing to surrender. “Live here now.”
Kara pinched the bridge of her nose, her patience thinning. “I really hope you’ll remember all of this tomorrow- you deserve that much,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. Carefully, she leaned down, scooping Lena into her arms as gently as she could- though her heart ached with every movement. A drunk tangle of limbs was no easy thing to carry. “So stubborn.”
“Noooo, lemme stay here,” Lena whined, reaching for the chair but Kara merely stepped away from it and began walking towards the balcony. “I don’t wanna go.”
“Well too bad.” Kara secured the drunk woman, placing one hand beneath her knees, the other one on her back. “You’re going to bed.” She shot up into the sky. Despite the warm temperatures during the day, they began to plummet during the night. The kryptonian could feel Lena shiver.
“Why’s cold?”
Kara chuckled lightly. “Because we’re flying.”
“Flying?” Lena’s eyes were wide and full of wonder. “You can fly?” She looked out at the sky where the moon was looking down at them. “Damn.”
Kara pulled the Luthor closer to her, tightening the already tight hold. “Yes, and I am flying you home.” Rao, how she had missed having Lena in her arms- was this what addicts felt like?
“No!”
“Lena, you have to go home, you can’t sleep in your office.” Kara sighed. “It’s not sustainable and deep down you know that.”
Lena buried her nose into Kara’s neck. “Don’t wanna go there. Nothing’s good there.”
Kara frowned at that. “What do you mean?”
“It doesn’t feel like home.” She nuzzled closer into Kara, seeking the kryptonian warmth. “Your place always felt like home.”
Blue eyes widened at that. She swallowed hard, trying not to seem too thrown by that piece of information. “Would you wanna go there?”
A sober Lena, would have most definitely said no. She would have told Kara to take her home and to not think about this intrusion again but Lena wasn’t at all sober and not entirely in charge of her actions. So the mumbled “yes,” wasn’t something that she could be held responsible for later on. Truly, it wouldn’t hold up in court.
“Okay then,” Kara said in response, changing the course of her flight to now lead them towards her own apartment. She landed in front of the door, keeping the drunk woman in her arms as she fumbled with the door to the house. “Thank god,” she whispered when the door sprang open and the only thing that stood between her and her own four walls were a few stair wells.
“Home sweet home,” Kara said when they finally made it inside the apartment. When she looked at Lena, she noticed that her eyes had closed and that her breathing had evened out. “You've got to be kidding me.” She carried her to her own bedroom, setting the sleeping woman down on the mattress before prying off her outer layers so that she wouldn’t wake up in shoes.
The blonde went toward the closet, taking a quick shower and then changing into a comfortable pair of pajamas. After brushing her teeth and combing her hair, Kara finally went back to her bedroom where Lena had curled into herself on the mattress. That vision… it was different. It was a picture that Kara had seen several times before but that had been eons ago - before everything had gone wrong. This was a picture that Kara had ached for during lonely nights and busy days and now that it had come true, it wasn’t at all how it was supposed to be.
Despite everything, Kara leaned down to press against the Luthor’s forehead, aching to climb into bed with her and pull her into her arms. But Kara couldn’t do that now. She didn’t have the right and too much had happened to not leave her unaffected by everything. There was anger simmering within both of them, anger that couldn't be resolved with a good cuddle. The thought alone was ridiculous. “Khap :zhao rrip.”
She went back into the living room, laying down on the couch to spend the rest of her night there. When Lena woke up, they would have a lot to talk about. The thought crept up like a bad dream - what if everything was lost?