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Sabine thought Ezra was gone forever. She thought everything of her past and childhood was gone forever, really. She stayed on Lothal all those years because she knew it’s what Ezra would have wanted, for her to look out for his home planet. But that was never enough to fill the emptiness. Nothing could be again, not after Kanan, Ezra, and even Mandalore.

And then Ahsoka came back. Now, for the first time in her life, she has the chance at seeing Ezra again. They’re chasing Imperial remnants who are trying to get to the other galaxy. And Ahsoka already made it clear that if they can’t make this trip, no one can.

And that would mean… destroying the last chance Sabine has at ever seeing Ezra again. She knows it would be better for the galaxy than to risk all that. But is that really a choice she can make? Maybe it’s selfish, it’s definitely selfish but she can’t just… leave Ezra there forever.

Let go of her attachments. How could she? He’s her little brother. And he deserves to get to come home and that doesn’t only have to do with what she wants.

This is probably why she failed so terribly at training as a Jedi, though. Yeah, she knows. Even Huyang made it clear that she’s probably the worst Jedi out there. It’s not like that’s a secret.

She’s rummaging through her weapons, trying to get them organized but she can’t find what she’s looking for or maybe it’s just that she can’t focus on it in the slightest when she hears a noise behind her. It’s Ahsoka, silently coming into the room. She comes over to the table, holding out one of the equipment pieces Sabine was looking for.

“Relax,” Ahsoka chides gently.

Sabine sighs. “Don’t worry about me.”

“I’m not.”

“Good.” She stares down at her blaster, trying not to fidget with it.

“Should I be?”

Sabine looks up with a frown. “What?”

“Worried?”

Yeah, she really doesn’t want to talk about this. Sabine shoves her blasters into their holsters, trying to keep busy. Trying to not think. She knows what she has to do for the mission and just as much, how much she can’t. “Nope.”

Ahsoka slowly sits on the edge of the table. “I know how much Ezra means to you,” she says softly, sighing, “But sometimes we have to do what’s right regardless of our personal feelings.”

“Sometimes being a Jedi means making the choice no one else can,” Ezra’s voice whispers in her mind.

Well, she’s not her little brother. She’s infinitely worse at anything. At least he never made a weapon that could’ve been used to obliterate his home planet.

“You really believe that?” Sabine asks finally.

“When the stakes are this high, I have to.”

She should agree with her master. She doesn’t. Can’t. How could she? They’re talking about Ezra.

The sound of blaster fire outside the ship snaps Sabine back into focus, and she and Ahsoka run outside together. There’re some droids out here and it’s not hard to take them down but they damage the ship during the battle and now they really won’t be contacting Hera. Great.

Her and Ahsoka are going to have to go in on foot to deal with this.

“May I make one request of you both?” Huyang calls, before they both walk away, into the dark forest beyond and whatever lies in it, “Stay together. You always did better that way, in my opinion.”

Did they? He was the one just saying she didn’t even belong as a Jedi. She’s still not sure she does. She… can hardly believe Ahsoka’s even back here again.

But when Ahsoka slowly smiles at her, Sabien does it back.

“We better get moving,” Ahsoka decides.

Sabine bows dramatically. “Together,” she says, and they take off running.

***

They don’t make it far. There’re two figures in the woods, a blonde haired girl who looks younger than Sabine and draws an orange lightsaber, and a black armored figure who pulls out a red one. There’s something… weird about him.

After how long Sabine’s trained, she knows what Ahsoka and Ezra mean when they talked about sensing things. Because she can sense something on him now. A hollow emptiness. And a broken shell of pain.

Not like that’s really a surprise. Sabine knows really awful things can happen to people who serve the Empire.

Ahsoka goes for the masked one and Sabien goes for the girl, but the duel moves fast, as she dodge between trees and sometimes accidentally cut them down. And somehow in the midst of all that, they manage to trade opponents. Which is something Sabine’s starting to regret almost instantly, with how much better of a fighter the masked figure is. Yeah, she really should’ve kept up with that training.

She fires a few shots from her armor, then jumps at him, blocking his lightsaber with an energy shield and going for his helmet. Her blade slashes across his helmet and the pieces fall to the ground, sparking.

That wouldn’t have slowed her down for even a moment, if not for the face that’s staring back at her. Even in the shadows of the trees, it’s not hard to make out the familiar features. Older, maybe, but still the same.

“Kanan?” Sabine chokes out, just gaping. Her heart is pounding and she feels faint. Dizzy. This doesn’t make sense. It’s not possible. It’s not.

“Who’s Kanan?” the figure asks. It’s the first time he’s spoken and his voice is exactly the same but entirely devoid of recognition. He can’t see her. The familiar lightsaber burn is across his eyes but he’s still looking at her. Sensing her in the Force.

But he doesn’t even know who she is. What in all the –

The figure – Kanan – starts lifting his lightsaber again. Ready to fight her.

He – he’s –

She can’t breathe.

“Sabine!” Ahsoka’s voice yells from behind her.

It’s almost enough to snap her through her haze but only almost. This doesn’t make any sense. Kanan died. Years ago. So how…?

Focus. She needs to focus. Or Kanan’s going to kill her. He comes at her again, lightsaber swinging.

Even Ahsoka’s eyes are wide with shock but she somehow manages to get a grip on herself first. Being the Jedi Sabine certainly never could be herself.

“Go,” Sabine calls shakily, “I’ll – ” She’ll what? Handle this? Handle Kanan? Because he’s alive and his death is really what shattered their family and the broken pieces are still all across the galaxy and even if she can and still does talk to Hera and Zeb all the time, it’s always with a reminder of what they lost and are never going to have again. “- handle it,” she finishes breathlessly instead.

Ahsoka wavers but then she nods, briefly.

They don’t have time for this. They have to find Ezra. And now, somehow they’ve found Kanan.

Sabine would think she’s hallucinated this entire thing if she wasn’t staring him in the face as he swings his lightsaber at her over and over again, fully intent on killing her. What happened to him? How did he survive? How could he have survived? How… She doesn’t understand.

The lightsaber glances off her arm and she stumbles, quickly fires a wrist shot at him from her armor and then uses the blasts on her armor to send him flying. Kanan before never would’ve fallen for that but he does now. She sees something on him sparking from where her wrist shot hit.

Metal? He’s – how metal is he? He was taken in an explosion and she has nightmares about that last moment of the fires crawling towards him almost every night, even a decade later. How could he have survived that?

But either way, Kanan hits the tree and drops, motionless. Sabine runs to his side, heart pounding. It really is him. In person. Real. Alive.

A strangled pressure rises in her chest and she wants to cry or just – something. He’s alive. And she has to get to him. To – something. But what does she do if he doesn’t even remember them? What happened to him?

Her and Ahsoka can take him along, after they get the ship secure and get out of there. She can’t bring him now. But that means… walking away and having no idea if they’re even going to find traces of him again. Can she really do that? But – she doesn’t get going, she’s going to lose all traces of getting to Ezra too.

Her and Ahsoka will come back, as soon as they get what they came for. Sabine turns and runs.

***

And runs, all the way to the rocky platform, right in time to see Baylan throwing Ahsoka over the edge.

“No!” Sabine screams, running forwards.

Baylan casually turns around.

She dives for the orb that contains the coordinates to get to Ezra, blaster lifting to it.

Ahsoka told her to destroy it. And now Ahsoka is gone. Kanan is back and she has a chance at getting Ezra back and Ahsoka is dead and –

What –

She can hardly breathe. Hardly think.

She should fire. Just destroy it and save the galaxy. And lose all chance at getting to Ezra?

“I know you feel Ezra Bridger is the only family you have left,” Baylan remarks calmly.

No, she knows where he’s going with this and she can’t – “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sabine accuses, heart pounding. He actually doesn’t, not entirely, because Kanan is alive and –

“I know what’s holding you back,” Baylan replies calmly, walking closer, “Your family died on Mandalore because your master didn’t trust you.”

No, no. Now isn’t the time to get lost in thoughts about that. But all she can remember is how her family there is gone. Tristan. Her mother. Her father. She’ll never see any of them again. The only little brother she has left is Ezra.

“Sabine, you and I share a common goal. To make this journey. You, to be reunited with your long-lost friend. And I, to serve a greater good. Come with me. willingly. And I give you my word, no harm will come to you.” Baylan’s standing in front of her now.

She shouldn’t believe him. She should fulfill Ahsoka’s last wish. But how can she?

Espeically if Kanan’s alive. Ezra deserves to get to know that more than anyone. Her hand tightens around the blaster, still shaking.

“Sabine… you will be reunited with your friend,” he goes on, “Do it.”

She closes her eyes, and hands the orb over.

***

When Sabine agreed to this, she didn’t quite expect to get stuncuffed and put in a prison cell but she probably should have. Stupid Imperials. What was she even thinking, trusting them? Not that she did but this ship was the only way to get to Ezra.

But the blank walls are giving her way too much time to think and that’s really the last thing she wants to be dealing with right now.

She could’ve sold out her entire galaxy to get to Ezra. She has no idea how many people could end up dead because of this. Just like when she made that stupid device that could be used against Mandalore, years ago. Well, she’s always been good at making messes for herself. But this is for Ezra and she can’t just leave him out there forever.

And – and it’s also serving the purpose of getting her closer to Kanan. He’s on board. He’s got to be. She just needs to get to him and figure out what’s happening.

There’s a sudden noise in the hallway and Sabine looks up. The last thing she’s expecting is to see Kanan approaching. He’s not wearing a helmet anymore and she can see his face again. Real. Alive.

It’s nearly enough to bring her to tears. She thought he was gone forever. She accepted his death as much as she ever could, over the last nearly decade. Of all things she dreamed of getting back, this was never it.

“Kanan?” Sabine asks, going up to the barred door, heart pounding.

He seems almost jittery. “Why do you keep calling me that?”

“It’s your name,” Sabine replies, heart clenching with gutted grief, “How… You don’t remember that?”

“I don’t have a name.” He says it flatly, like it’s a fact.

What did they do to him? She wants to find Ezra – and get to Kanan – more than burn whatever’s left of the Empire to the ground, but in this moment, all she wants for a furious moment is to make them hurt, for everything they’ve done. “If you really believe that, why did you come here?” Sabine asks finally.

“You’re familiar, in the Force,” he replies after a heartbeat. “I – I knew you.”

“You did,” Sabine agrees, “You – you were part of my crew. Our crew. You were my family. The closest I had to a father after I left Mandalore. You don’t remember any of that?”

Kanan’s quiet for a long pause. “No,” is all he says finally. “This is all I have ever known.”

“What did they do to you?” Sabine asks, swallowing back her tears. Was it the explosion or something else? Worse?

He twitches a little. Then his head turns sharply and he starts walking away.

“Wait!” she calls, jerking forwards, running up to the cell door but he doesn’t look back. Moments later, a security guard walks down the hall.

Sabine sinks back to the floor and just waits.

Kanan’s trying to hide that he was here. What are they doing to him? And – and there must be some part of him then, that still knows some of this is a lie. Sabine still really can’t believe this is even happening.

***

They get to the other galaxy. Peridia, the planet is called. Maybe it’s just any other planet but it feels different somehow. It is in another galaxy, though, so that’s not really surprising. She’d take more time to marvel at that in another circumstance. She hasn’t seen Kanan again, except very briefly, shadowing Baylan and Shin from a distance. He’s not looking at her, just staring motionlessly ahead of himself. It makes her gut squirm.

But she’s here, really here. To the place where Ezra was lost. That point is even more proven when she’s taken to meet Thrawn. He looks so much older now. She forgot, seeing him again, how much she hates him for everything he caused and cost them. She lost Ezra because of him. They thought Kanan was dead and she has to get him back.

But right now, she doesn’t have a way to get to him. She needs to focus on finding Ezra. They can figure the rest out together, the way they always did when they were young.

“You have gambled the fate of your galaxy,” Thrawn remarks, studying her.

Yeah, she knows. She doesn’t want to think about how many could get hurt. Ezra left for this and she could ruin everything he did that for. “You would never understand,” Sabine replies steely instead.

He actually sends her out, agreeing to let her look for Ezra. She doesn’t trust it for a moment. He wants something else and she stays on alert as she searches.

It takes hours. Hours she doesn’t have the patience for but she finally finds someone of a different sentient species who seems to know him and he takes her to their camp. There’s dozens of these creatures and there’s…

Sabine looks around slowly, heart pounding. She can’t believe that this is really happening, that it’s…

“I knew I could count on you,” a guttingly familiar voice says from behind her.

Sabine turns slowly.

Ezra is standing behind her, leaning against a nearby hut wall. He looks so old. She knew he would but somehow, all this time she was seeing her teenage little brother in her mind. Not what he’s grown into. He even has a beard now. Yikes.

She should say something. She’s at a complete loss of what to say.

She gave up on this ever happening. But now here she is. Here Ezra is, for the first time in so many years. They’ve been apart longer than they ever knew each other and yet, that’s done nothing to change the fierce burning love in her heart. Nothing could ever change the childhood they shared together.

And he’s the last little brother she has because Tristan is dead and she’ll never ever see him again.

“Though, it sure took you long enough,” Ezra snips, so him.

“Well,” Sabine points out, faintly amused as she walks towards him slowly, “You didn’t exactly tell any of us where you were going.”

“That’s because I didn’t know where I was going,” he replies, grinning a little.

Years apart and still so him. Force, she’s missed him. “Typical,” Sabine retorts, “Always a plan, never a good one.”

He throws up his hands. “Hey, it worked, didn’t it?” His smile falters a little when she doesn’t answer. “Didn’t it?”

“It worked,” Sabine promises and then she’s closing the rest of the distance between them, hugging him tightly. It’s the first time in so long. She never wants to let him go again. Maybe there’s something truly wrong with her but she thinks the risk of what she did was worth it, just for this moment. She can’t imagine Ezra having spent the rest of his life here, forever wondering why she never came.

Ezra makes a few comments about how he’s been staying out here with these beings. At least he’s been okay. As okay as he could be, all alone.

“How did you get here?” Ezra asks.

Sabine stills.

Yeah, she really doesn’t know how to answer that. Ezra left for this. And now she’s about to bring Thrawn back to the galaxy, undo everything he did. “Let’s not talk about that. not right now,” she requests.

“Sabine,” Ezra says, frowning a little.

“Hey, I just wanna be happy I found you. After all this time, can I have that?”

And Ezra, being so Ezra, just smiles a little and gives in. “Of course.”

***

But, she quickly realizes, she can’t go very long without explaining all of this. They need a plan to get to Kanan. It still hardly feels real, that he’s alive. She waits until the other creatures have their camp packed up and start moving again so the hunting marauders don’t find them before she speaks again.

“Ezra, there’s… something I need to tell you,” Sabine says finally.

“Yeah, there’s probably a lot, right?” Ezra asks, sitting next to her. It’s so strange to have him at her side again. “I mean, I missed so much. How are Hera and Zeb?”

“They’ve been good. At least, as well as they could be with you gone.” She needs to tell him more about them, but first – “But there’s something else. It’s about Kanan.”

Ezra’s face shudders, shadowing a little. “Yeah?”

It’s hard to believe, she can’t help thinking, that he had to grieve Kanan all alone out here. At least Sabine had Hera and Zeb, even if they aren’t living with each other anymore. “I know this is going to sound like I’m joking, but he’s alive.”

Ezra freezes, blinking a few times as he stares at her. “What?”

“I saw him. I don’t understand it,” Sabine goes on in a rush, “He’s with the Imperial remnants. I don’t know what they’ve done to him. He’s…”

Ezra’s just gaping at her. “But… I don’t understand. I…”

Sabine shakes her head. “I don’t either. But he’s here, Ezra. He doesn’t remember me but I think he knows I was someone important once. We have to get him out.”

“Okay, I’m going to need you to rerun that,” Ezra replies a little breathlessly, “Kanan is here? How did he get here? And what Imperial remnants? You mean other than Thrawn? How did they get here?”

Oookay, it doesn’t look like she’s going to get out of explaining this any longer. Maybe that’s for the best, if it’s the only way to get Kanan out. “I should probably start at the beginning,” Sabine concedes, “Ahsoka and I were investigating Imperial remnants, word of… people who were trying to come here to find Thrawn.”

“So the Empire is really gone?” he asks.

She nods. “Yeah. Well, mostly. Except these… and when we were tracking, we – Well, I ran into an inquisitor-like person. I thought it was an inquisitor but in the fight, I realized it was Kanan. He didn’t remember me. I… talked to him again when I was prisoner on the ship they used to come here. I think I was getting through to him but I haven’t had the chance to talk to him again. As soon as I got here, I came out to find you. Maybe I could’ve done more if Ahsoka got further in training me.”

“Training you?” Ezra echoes, confused.

“Ahsoka took me on as her apprentice.”

He blinks. “She what? Why?”

Fair confusion. She already knows she’s really not fit for the Jedi thing but with Kanan and Ezra both gone, it felt like she really needed to be filling the roles anyway.

“I mean, congratulations,” Ezra splutters, instantly catching her expression, “Really? You?”

“Go on,” Sabine tells him dryly.

“No, that’s great,” Ezra hastily amends, “Makes sense, of course. You trained a little back when I was first learning.”

“I remember.”

“So where is Ahsoka? Is she coming?”

No, because she’s dead. Because Sabine got her killed like she gets everyone killed. That still doesn’t feel real either. She doesn’t even know how to tell Ezra that.

“That complicated?” Ezra guesses, catching her eyes.

“Yeah,” she replies, sighing.

“Alright,” Ezra says, frowning, “Well, if Kanan’s there, we’re going to need some way to get into that complex and find him.”

“We better get to work,” Sabine decides.

“Yeah,” Ezra agrees, shaking his head, “I just – I can’t believe it. That Kanan’s alive. I always knew that going home meant I’d never be going back to him.”

She smiles a little, feeling true hope for the first time in years. “Well, maybe we were both wrong.”

***

They’re still going over everything Sabine saw while she was there and everything Ezra’s seen about Thranw’s forces while observing from a distance over the years when Sabine suddenly senses something. It feels familiar. Something suddenly brightening in her mind, something –

Is that Ahsoka?

“Hey,” Ezra calls, voice snapping through her thoughts, “Are you alright? Sabine?”

She tries to focus on him but she’s distracted with what she’s sensing right now and if it’s really –

A blaster shot ringing out brings her back to present. There’s a group of those pirate-people coming up on them and there’s stormtroopers with them. Great.

She and Ezra jump from the vehicle they’re riding and she tries to pass Ezra his lightsaber. Except, he’s stubbornly refusing to take it.

“I don’t need it,” Ezra insists, “Besides, you’ve been training.”

Yeah, and she still got a lightsaber run through her, despite her best efforts, only days ago. “Very funny,” Sabine deadpans.

“I’m serious.”

“Take it.” They don’t have time to fight about this.

“I gave it to you. It’s yours now.”

She groans. “At least take a blaster.”

“No,” he argues, “The Force is my ally. That’s all I need.”

And then everything explodes into chaos. They’re trying to fight off the stormtroopers but there’s way too many and they don’t have any proper cover out here. Though, Sabine has to admit, Ezra’s doing really well for only using the Force.

And then she senses something else shifting in the Force and sees two familiar figures.

Shin and –

Kanan.

They’re both here and Kanan draws his lightsaber, moving towards them.

He’s not wearing his helmet and Ezra freezes, gaping at him. “You really…” he trails off, shaking his head, looking as pale as though he’s seeing a ghost. Because really, he is.

“Kanan,” Ezra calls as he moves closer. Sabine’s hands clench around her own lightsaber. She doesn’t want to have to fight him again.

He stills, head slowly turning towards Ezra. His expression twitches a little but then he swings at them.

Ezra dives out of the way, blocking the lightsaber slash with the Force as he rolls. “Kanan,” he tries again, “It’s me. Ezra.”

“I don’t know who you are.” The voice is monotone. He sounds far more… dead than he did when Sabine last talked to him. Did he get in trouble for talking to her?

“Sabine’s brother,” Ezra tries again, as Sabine jerks forwards, igniting the blade to block Kanan’s next slash, “She talked to you, remember?”

Kanan throws up a hand, sending both of them skidding backwards.

The stormtroopers keep shooting.

Blasts are pinging off Sabine’s armor and one of them throws her off-balance, nearly knocking her to the ground. Ezra nearly gets shot. Kanan comes at them again, still swinging. Sabine starts to feel the first traces of growing panic. There’s too many Imperials here. This isn’t a fight they’re going to be able to win.

“I was your apprentice,” Ezra says breathlessly, eyes gutted, as Kanan nearly takes his head off.

“You’re my mission,” he replies tonelessly.

Definitely something different about him. Sabine doesn’t want to think about what that could mean. She deflects a few more blaster shots, then tries to block it when he comes at her but he Force-shoves them both back and she drops her lightsaber.

The stormtroopers press closer, blasters raised.

“Finish them,” Shin orders.

Sabine breathes in sharply. No, no. This isn’t – They can’t be about to die here.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Ezra yelps, lifting his hands, “We could talk. Or we could just… We…Don’t you wanna take as prisoners? As prisoners? Or – ”

She almost forgot how good he was at rambling. If only it would be enough to help in this situation –

“I said finish them,” Shin orders sharply.

Sabine hears the blasters charging up.

“Wait,” Kanan interrupts, hands tight on his lightsaber.

She thinks everyone present collectively stops breathing and moving for a moment.

“What?” Shin demands.

“They might have inf – ” He doesn’t finish talking.

Laser blasts rip through the ground around them as a ship comes flying in. Ahsoka’s ship. She can only stare at it, eyes wide, as the blasts tear through the ground and the stormtroopers and send everyone scrambling.

Ahsoka jumps off, white lightsabers slashing as she joins the fight and everyone retreats quickly. All Sabine can think of is she’s alive. The two Dark Siders are the only ones lingering the back.

“Kanan,” Sabine starts, taking a step towards him.

His hands tighten on his blade.

“Hey, you can come with us,” Ezra tries, desperation leaking into his voice, “You must remember us, somewhat. You – ”

Shin looks at Kanan and runs. He runs after.

Sabine makes an effort to chase and so does Ezra, but they don’t make it far before they lose him, as he gets on a transport and takes off with the other stormtroopers.

But they got through to him. A little. And that’s something. They just need to get him away from the Empire and actually talk to him.

Sabine slowly turns back to Ezra and… her master. “Ahsoka,” she greets. She’s never been quite so happy to see her before even if it’s also complicated now. Everything with her is messy. Sabine still feels like she has no idea how to face her.

But Ahsoka just smiles and Sabine does back, slowly.

“I thought you were dead,” she says.

“And miss this reunion?” Ahsoka asks with a smile.

She turns to Ezra, hugging him tightly. It’s nice, to get to see them together again. It’s been so long. They haven’t been together since the day Sabine watched her, Ezra, and Kanan leave for Malachor. To fight Ahsoka’s master who she always speaks so highly of now and it’s strange to think about. Strange to compare what she knows about Anakin versus the Vader they fought during the war.

“Wait,” Ezra pipes up, as he and Ahsoka pull apart, “You thought she was dead?”

“Clearly, I was wrong,” Sabine replies dryly.

***

If they’re going to face down the Empire, Ezra needs a lightsaber. He works on making one, onboard Ahsoka’s ship as they fly low over the ground.

“I still don’t understand,” Ezra says, “How could he be alive? On Lothal, I… I talked to a wolf. I think it was Kanan’s spirit or at least, it had a connection to him.”

Yeah, Sabine doesn’t understand that either.

“The Force works in ways we don’t understand,” Ahsoka points out, arms crossed as she stands in the doorway near Sabine, “And if Kanan was near death at the time, it’s possible that his spirit was still able to reach out to you.”

“Maybe that would be why I stopped seeing him,” Ezra realizes, eyes widening a little, “Because then he wasn’t close to death anymore.”

“Maybe,” Ahsoka agrees. She lingers a few moments longer, watching them, before disappearing back out the door.

Sabine stays to watch Ezra as he works, shuffling around to find pieces for his lightsaber.

“You, sir,” Huyang grumbles, “Have a method, not a system or anything resembling a process. Who taught you how to build a lightsaber anyway?”

Sabien tries to smother a laugh but then it dies when she thinks of the answer. “Kanan Jarrus.”

“Is that so?” Huyang asks.

Ezra’s expression is grave again. “Yeah, he was my master. Taught me everything I know. And now he’s…” He looks away.

“And I taught him how to build a lightsaber,” Huyang replies.

Ezra freezes. “What?”

“Of course, now it all makes sense. I taught him everything,” the droid muses.

He did? Sabine knew he’s an old Temple droid but that doesn’t mean… She had no idea.

“How could have known him?” Ezra asks, baffled, “Sabine?”

She shakes her head in answer. It’s strange to think there’s so much Ezra’s missed.

“I told you. I taught almost every youngling at the jedi temple, including your master. Clever boy, Caleb was. Very curious. A bit shy perhaps. Well, who could blame him? Those were troubling times,” Huyang muses.

As if it’s any better now.

She can’t believe she finally has Ezra back. And now… Kanan is here. She never thought their family could be back together again but maybe – Maybe it can be. Even if Kanan doesn’t remember them. It’ll never be the same but it would be something.

So long as the Empire doesn’t rip it apart all over again. And if it does, it’s going to be her fault. She goes outside slowly, even if she’s wary too.

“You must be pleased,” Ahsoka remarks, perched on top of the ship as they fly.

“More relieved than anything else.”

“Your gamble paid off.”

Oh. Oh. She was really hoping Ahsoka wouldn’t fully realize what happen. She should’ve. She’s not looking forwards to this conversation. “You know.”

“I do,” Ahsoka agrees.

The tone is neutral and it’s strange. All she can remember is the times her biological mother always yelled at her for literally everything, especially later on. And definitely especially after she made a mistake this bad. Hera was never like that, but it’s still hard sometimes, not to expect that. And there’s no way Ahsoka couldn’t be upset about this, right? She already left Sabine once, because she failed.

Sabine turns away, staring out at the passing fields. Well, if she lost her master again, she’d still have Ezra and hopefully Kanan again, so…

She hears a light thump behind her and then Ahsoka approaches, coming to stand beside her.

“I thought I’d never see him again,” Sabine admits finally.

“We might not have, if you’d chosen differently.”

“I’m sorry,” she offers, because it really feels like she ought to say it. She is even if she doesn’t fully regret this choice.

“I know.” Ahsoka smiles a little.

Now she’s just confused. “You’re not mad?” Sabine asks uncertainly.

“Over the years, I’ve made my share of difficult choices. Often, no one understood my reasons,” Ahsoka replies, something distant and thoughtful in her eyes, “Except my master.”

“Anakin?” she asks, smiling faintly. Ahsoka’s talked about him a lot. It makes her wish she could’ve known him as something other than an enemy.

“He always stood by me. even when no one else did. That’s why no matter what happens next, I’m going to be there for you.”

Sabine smiles faintly, at total loss of what to even say. It’s not what she expected. It’s not what her first family ever did for her, even if the Ghost crew did. Maybe she doesn’t need to say anything. Maybe… she really is Ahsoka’s apprentice again and she never realized how much she missed that. Maybe they can actually try to make this work out.

***

They don’t get much further before their ship gets blown up and they crash and then have to ride on a few animals they pick up to get all the way to Thrawn’s location. They’re loading something onto the ship and preparing for takeoff when they get there. They’re running out of time and Sabine already knows how slim their chances are of stopping it.

Especially when they run into the building to get swarmed by dozens of stormtroopers, all of whom they cut down easily but they promptly get back up, moving zombie like as they attack them again. The only way to actually put them down for good is to behead them and that’s costing them valuable time they don’t have.

And then once they finally get past the stormtroopers, they run right into Kanan. He’s waiting for them, red lightsaber in hand.

It makes her heart clench guttingly again, seeing him. So him but now so Dark and everything he never used to be.

“Kanan,” Ezra says first, starting forwards, “You – ”

Kanan jumps at them, lightsaber swinging.

Ahsoka jumps in front of them, blocking him. “Kanan,” she says, “I don’t know why you’re doing this. Maybe you think you don’t have a choice. Maybe you don’t. But if that’s it, you don’t have to. The Empire left you here to die. And if you actually believe in what they’re doing, then you need to know the destruction they caused the entire galaxy. Destruction you once helped all three of us stop..” She Force-shoves him a few feet back and he stands, hands still tight on his lightsaber but he doesn’t move to attack them again.

“I did know you,” he says finally,, voice a bit… distant, “But – “

“You were my master,” Ezra pipes up, “You know, like my second dad or something even if I drove you insane. I thought you were dead for years. We would’ve been looking for you, if knew you were alive.”

“We just want you to come back,” Sabine speaks up, “We haven’t been together in years, Kanan. And if we don’t get to that ship now, Hera and Zeb are never going to see any of us again.”

Kanan is quiet for along pause. She wishes she knew what was going through his mind. But then he finally deactivates his lightsaber. “We may already be out of time. And if we sneak aboard their ship, they will find us.”

It makes her sick that she actually senses fear from him. How did the Empire treat him?

“Well, they don’t have a Force user with them anymore,” Ahsoka replies, “And they’ll have to go through all of us to get to you. You… don’t need to worry.”

Kanan wavers a little but then he slowly steps out of the way.

They run.

***

They don’t manage to stop the ship from making the hyperspace jump back to their galaxy but they are able to sneak on board in the cargo hold, crouching in the darkness. It’s going to be a long trip. Sabine’s squished between Ezra and Ahsoka, with Kanan on Ezra’s other side. Kanan’s been oddly quiet but he keeps looking at them and nudging them in the Force. He’s holding himself stiffly and it makes her heart ache sharply to see. But she’s also so hopeful – he’s actually with them again. And that means…

They actually have the chance again. She hasn’t had this much in years. Even if trapped in an Imperial cargo hold isn’t a good place to be getting excited yet.

“So what do you remember?” Ezra asks, looking at Kanan, “I mean, you know… It’s been years. You’ve been with the Empire all this time?”

Kanan’s quiet for a pause. “Yes,” he says finally, “That’s all I remember.”

“It’s been years,” Sabine reiterates, muted horror flaring through her.

Kanan just nods.

“What happened to you?” Ahsoka asks. Her voice is controlled as usual but Sabine can still see her horror, even in the darkness.

“They had me train,” he replies, without further explanation, “Go on missions sometimes. I didn’t know there was somewhere else I… had.”

She feels sick. And she really has no idea how things came to this. But he’s alive and at the end of the day, that matters the most.

“There’s been rumors about Dark Siders still out there,” Ahsoka comments, sighing, “I never thought about it as much as I probably should have.”

“Well, the Empire’s gonna stay away from you now,” Ezra adds fiercely, “And you get to come home with us. At the same time as me.”

Kanan is quiet for a long pause. “I know who you want me to be. But I don’t… remember that anymore. I am not him.”

Yeah, that’s… Well, that’s true. He’s not. And it guts her even more to think about. He’ll never be the Kanan they remember. But at the same time… “We’re not who you used to know either,” Sabine says quietly, “We’ve all been apart for about a decade. No one’s really the same anymore.”

“But I don’t remember… the before, either. Like you do.” He sounds so lost. It’s strange to see on him.

“That’s okay,” Ezra says quietly, even if he actually looks like he’s about to cry. Sabine reaches over, squeezing his hand. “We just want you back. And you’re still you even if… we just have to restart everything. I still can’t believe you’re alive.”

Kanan nods a little, staying quiet.

Sabine probably shouldn’t be surprised if this is really overwhelming him. It still hurts.

“Maybe…” he speaks up slowly, hesitantly, “You can tell me more of what I… don’t remember?”

“Sure,” Ezra agrees, brightening, “We still have a long ride ahead of us.”

***

The hyperspace ride takes a long time. Sabine feels the floor stop vibrating once it’s over. Time to get out of the cargo hold and get out of here. They wait awhile until they can all sense that it’s safe before trying to sneak out. Kanan and Ezra put on stormtrooper armor and Sabine and Ahsoka work together in the shadows – since Sabine is not getting rid of her Mandalorian armor.

It’s nice to see Ezra and Kanan working side by side together. And… a similar feeling for her working with Ahsoka.

It’s risky but they’re able to sneak out unnoticed and steal a shuttle. They send a message ahead to Hera. Her and a bunch of others are waiting when they come flying in.

“Maybe Ahsoka and I should explain the situation first,” Sabine offers, looking between the others.

“Just the Kanan part,” Ezra says. “I don’t want to wait.” He looks both excited and almost overwhelmed. It’s the first time he’s going to see her in a decade, after all. That’s hardly a surprise.

Kanan doesn’t say anything. He… doesn’t seem very comfortable, not that that’s really surprising.

Sabine and Ahsoka do go off first.

“You’re back,” Hera breathes, face flooding with relief, “I didn’t know if you made it or what happened.”

“We are,” Ahsoka agrees, smiling.

“And we found him,” Sabine adds, unable to hide her own smile.

Hera looks past her, eyes widening at who’s standing in the doorway. “Ezra?”

“Hi, Hera,” he says, face splitting in a growing smile. He walks down the ramp, approaching her slowly. There’s a long moment where they just look at each other before Hera pulls him into a hug.

“Ezra, are you… okay? I – I can’t believe you’re back.” It’s strange to hear Hera at such a loss for words. “I thought…”

“I know,” Ezra murmurs. His eyes look a bit wet when he pulls back. “I know you didn’t want me to go to stop Thrawn but hey – at least it worked. For… a decade, anyway.”

“He’s back?” Hera guesses, sighing.

“He is,” Sabine agrees, subdued. This really is her fault. If the galaxy falls apart again…

Ahsoka’s hand lightly touches her arm and Sabine offers her a tiny, grateful smile. “This is the first time you’ve all been together in a long time,” Ahsoka interjects, “Why don’t you spend at least an hour catching up before we talk about Thrawn?”

Hera smiles a little. “Alright.”

“There’s so much I want to ask you about. And tell you,” Ezra pipes up, “And yeah – I guess we better start with the part where Kanan is still alive.”

Hera stares. “What?”

Yeah, there really is no good way to dump this news on her.

***

Hera seems more in shock than anything else, even by the time they finish explaining the story of how Sabine found out. She’s still in shock, even after spending hours sitting right next to him. But at least the length of time it takes to explain to her what happened seems to give Kanan enough to collect himself.

He comes down the ramp slowly, even if he’s hanging back.

“Kanan,” Hera breathes and she looks about to cry.

“You’re familiar,” he says, a little uncertainly, “All of you are.”

“You’re alive. I can’t… I can’t believe it.”

Kanan just shifts a little awkwardly.

“And… I know you’re probably not ready to hear this,” Hera adds, looking like she’s trying and really failing to recover herself, “But we have a child.”

“What?” Ezra yelps, first to find his voice.

“I… might have forgotten to mention that,” Sabine interjects.

…How did she forget to mention Jacen? They really have a lot of catching up to do.

***

Hera and Kanan talk a little privately, and Hera and Ezra spend a long time talking. It’s nice to see them together again. They send a message to Zeb which he’ll hopefully be answering soon. And from there, Hera takes them all to meet Jacen.

He’s here at the New Republic military base and runs up alongside Hera.

“Sabine!” he squeals, running up and throwing his arms around her.

Sabine hugs him back tightly. “Good to see you, Jacen,”

“You know, I used the Force!” he gushes, practically bouncing up and down, “I was out with Hera trynna find you and I felt where Ahsoka was so we went to pick her up!”

Sabine smiles a little, trading a glance with Hera, who nods slightly. So, he’s not exaggerating. “Good job,” she tells him, grinning, “You’re probably doing better than me already.”

“No one could be a better Jedi than you!” Jacen insists, grinning. “Besides, I haven’t even started learning yet!”

Yeah, she’s pretty sure he missed a lot of the story about what happened with her training but she doesn’t exactly feel like correcting him about it right now either. “Well, there’s a few people you might want to meet right now,” Sabine says, stepping back.

Jacen’s gaze darts past her, to the other two.

Ezra is the first to move forwards. “So I just found out about you like five minutes ago,” Ezra says, crouching in front of him, “And I can’t figure out if I’m supposed to be your uncle or your way older brother.”

Jacen giggles. “I dunno! But Sabine’s told me all about you. So did Mom.”

Ezra grins. “I’ll be glad to tell you a lot more. Hey, if you want Jedi training, I can always help with it. You know, if Hera agrees.”

Ezra looks from Jacen to Hera, who smiles a little.

“Why don’t we talk about that a little later?” she suggests.

“Okay,” Jacen chirps.

He looks from Ezra then, to Kanan, who’s still lingering back. Sabine’s not really surprised at ho uncomfortable he is but it still hurts to see. She knows how he was at raising her and Ezra and they might’ve squabbled with him sometimes but he was still amazing. He would’ve been an amazing father for Jacen and she has no idea if he’s ever going to feel comfortable enough to actually fill that role or not. Then again, Jacen’s also the only person he didn’t know before so maybe it’ll actually be easier for him to get to know him. She doesn’t know.

“Hi,” Jacen says, looking up at Kanan. He’s anything but shy but he still seems a little uncertain about this.

“You’re… Jacen?” Kanan asks slowly.

“Yeah. You’re my dad, I guess,” Jacen responds. “You look just like you do in the paintings and holos I’ve seen. Mostly.”

“I don’t know what you look like,” Kanan replies slowly, “But I can sense you.”

“How do you do it?” Jacen asks, “I mean you can’t see anything.”

“The Force.”

Sabine never quite considered the sheer awfulness of that until right now. Hopefully he actually remembers a bit of something or he’s never going to be able to remember seeing anything again.

“You’re scar looks awful,” Jacen states and Sabine winces at the untackfulness of the comment.  But yeah, the scar across his eyes does look awful. They had to get used to it, after Malachor.

“I imagine so.” Kanan doesn’t seem quite sure what to do with himself. “Do you look Twi’lek or human?”

He doesn’t know Hera’s a Twi’lek, not if he doesn’t remember. Which means he must remember something. It makes her heart flare a little, with hope.

“Human. Mostly,” Jacen chirps, “With green hair.”

“He looks a lot like you,” Ezra supplies.

Sabine doesn’t want to think about how Kanan probably doesn’t even know what he looks like anymore.

But maybe she’ll just… leave Jacen here to talk to Kanan a little longer.

***

Hera still has the Ghost and she invites all of them over to the ship for a meal. Zeb already called that he’s going to be coming as soon as possible. They’re going to be back together again soon. Sabine can hardly believe it. All these years and she gave up on ever having a family again. On ever truly feeling any shred of happiness again.

There’s still the threat of the Empire looming uncomfortably close and she knows what that could mean, but she doesn’t want to focus on that right now.

Kanan gets up to slip outside sometime during the meal and after he hasn’t come back for a while, Sabine finally cautiously gets up to follow him out too. He’s sitting on the ramp, the way he once used to so long ago. She thinks it’s really seeing him here, seeing him on the Ghost again, that’s making it finally sink in what she’s finally got back.

Even if it still hurts that… this Kanan is never going to be the same. They did still lose him, even if she just wants to be happy that he’s alive.

“Hey,” Sabine says, hesitantly taking a seat next to him.

“Sabine,” he greets in quiet acknowledgement.

“Do you mind if I stay here?” she asks uncertainly.

He twitches a little. “No.”

She hates that this suddenly feels awkward. Because he’s really not the person she remembers. “Are you alright?”

He’s quiet for a long pause. “This is a lot,” he admits finally, “All this time, I believed my duty was meant to be to…. the Empire. To follow orders and restore what was once was. But then I found you and… I remembered some things before but I was always told it was nothing. But now I know they were lying.”

“Whatever they made you do wasn’t you,” Sabine points out quietly, “I did things for the Empire once, too. Before I realized it was just a trick. You and Hera helped me.”

He sighs quietly. “I wish I remembered what you talk about. I wish I remembered a time before this.”

“I guess some things can’t ever come back,” Sabine replies slowly, “But you’re with us now. You can make something new. We all can. None of us are who we used to be. Too much changed.” She still misses her childhood, back when they were a crew. But… maybe she won’t have to for much longer, even if nothing is the same anymore.

Kanan nods slowly.

Sabine reaches for him a little hesitantly, touching his hand, ready to pull back if it’s making him twitchy. She doesn’t usually do things quite like this, but…

But instead, he just reaches up to take her hand, with his. This one is human. She can’t help noticing that much of his other arm is metal. It’s awful to see but it’s hardly a surprise either – the explosion would’ve taken a lot of him.

But he’s here again and at the end of the day, that’s what matters most.

***

Sabine goes to find Ezra after that. He’s standing in the doorway to the room he and Zeb used to share. “I know you told him he could have the top bunk back,” she comments, leaning on the opposite side of the doorway to him, “But I don’t think he ever slept in it.”

Ezra smiles a little, gaze wistful. “Well,” he snips, “He should have while he had the chance because I’m taking it back now.”

Sabine laughs, nudging him. “I don’t think he’ll be happier in his life than when he hears that.”

Ezra laughs a little too. “You know, I still can’t believe you painted that on the wall.” He points to the ridiculous painting she did, only weeks after Ezra first joined the Ghost crew.

“I hope I’ll have plenty of time to add more embarrassing ones to the collection.”

He elbows her and she smacks his arm away, laughing a little. She didn’t know she could ever feel this whole again. There’s still a never-ending, gnawing ache in her heart over all the time they lost together, but…

“You know,” she blurts out, “I really missed you.”

“Yeah,” Ezra says, “I missed you too, Sabine.”

“And I still miss being… kids,” she admits.

He smiles wistfully again. “Ooh, me too, but no one said we can’t be just as dumb.” He tackles her and falls to the floor with a yelp, trying to shake him off.

“Ezra, what – ” she yelps.

He’s trying to tickle her, between the joints of her armor.

“That is never going to work, you idiot – ” She yelps again and slaps his hand away when it actually is starting to work.

She shoves him off, rolling on top of him and returning the favor. Which lasts up until they’re both laughing so hard they can hardly breathe.

“See what I mean?” Ezra teases.

Sabine rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I guess I do. We’ll really be giving Hera a headache.”

“Just like old times,” Ezra replies dryly.

She smiles back at him, reaching out to squeeze his hands. Maybe ten years apart really hasn’t changed all that much.

And even if it took risking the entire galaxy to get this back, selfish or not, Sabine wants to say that it was worth it. They’re back together again. Family. And this time, she has to believe it’s going to be forever.