Chapter Text
Dazai throat is dry. Like- dry as fuck. He needs water, or maybe the throat spray shit people use to give head.
Why is this happening? Is he dying?
He turns back to look at Chuuya who is currently surrounded by students of all grades, he feels his face flush up immediately. Yup. Definitely dying.
Yosano and Ranpo give each other a small look before Ranpo speaks up
“Ya knowww, Chuuya will probably be at the welcoming party.”
Dazai spins back around, once again, way too fast. “What? Why? Didn't you say he was a senior? Wait, is he a senior?”
Ranpo chuckles a bit while Yosano bursts out cackling.
“He IS a senior, Mr loverboy. But the freshman have been begging him to come to the welcoming party since he's just transferred, and since you're not the only one who wants to get in his pants.”
Dazai feels his face getting warmer. “I- no- I d- I dont-” his stutter is NOT helping him right now, neither is the voice crack on the first ‘i’, neither is his flushed face, SERIOUSLY WHY IS HIS FACE SO WARM??
“Mhm…” Ranpo leans against the lockers and takes out a sucker from his pocket, he seems to always have those. “And I don't like eating sweets.”
Dazais brain can't keep up with what Ranpo saying, all his brain IS doing is continuously presenting a slideshow of the redhead who apparently gave him a grade 3 fever.
“What?” Dazai whispers before he can stop himself
“I'm SAYING that that's bullshit. I've never seen someone so obviously in love.” Ranpo words are muttered and broken up by the sucker in his mouth but he somehow keeps that familiar cocky ass tone.
“... What?” Dazai asks once again. Real smooth. But no, what? Dazai has never felt love or happiness or joy, he doesn't deserve those emotions. This isn't love it's probably just- lust maybe? Yeah, not love. Love is too… Emotional. Too real.
Ranpo gives him a dirty look as Yosano wipes the tears from her eyes and stands up properly
“Sorry, that was so fucking funny oh my lord.”
“What's so funny about that?!” Dazai says a bit too loud but that's not important right now
“You realizing that you can feel love and getting all flustered was NOT on my bingo card for this school year." She pats him on the shoulder “you should totally convince your dad to let you go, you and Chuuya might be able to talk at the welcoming partyyyy” she drags out the last word with a sly ass grin.
Fuck.
FUCK.
Dazai suddenly wishes he was more popular, maybe joining the sports teams, what sports did he do again? Track and basketball? Should he join them? No… maybe?... No… it's a bad idea.
Maybe Chuuya wasn't even into guys, all he knows about Chuuya is how… odd… he looks and how he plays sports. That's not enough information, he should ask Ranpo, Ranpo always knows, right? Yeah.
…
The words won't come out of his mouth.
He's scared.
Okay, what the FUCK is happening?
Dazai has never been scared to ask for something, but his mouth is hung open like a fucking idiot waiting for words to come out. They just won't come (that's what she said), his jaw was starting to hurt (that's also what she said)
“If you're wondering if he's bi then that's too bad, you'll just have to find that out by yourself”
Dazai attempts to come up with a retort, his usual witty retort but his brain is going about 5 fps and all of those frames are just Chuuya.
He finally comes up with something but once the words fall from his mouth he hears the blare of the bell. He needs to get to homeroom. FUCK.
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What was that?
He has repeated that same question over a thousand times in his mind. He's never acted like that? Like some fucking nerd ass bitch asking out his crush. Those were his cousins, he shouldn't get this nervous around them, he shouldn't be nervous at all!
But suddenly the words feel like lumps in his throat and he's sweaty and- WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK
Chuuya. What did you do to him.
Is it like one of those old witch stories where you look at him and suddenly you break out in boils or something?
Maybe.
Yeah that makes sense.
A lot of sense.
The rest of his classes were just a repeat of homeroom. Some stupid ass slideshow about their daughters soccer games or their favorite vacation spots, Dazai cares about none of it.
When he hears that last bell for his last class he could feel his muscles tensing. He needs to ask Mori if he can go to the party.
What if during that, he and Chuuya bump into each other? What if they become friends? What if they have similar interests?
What are dazais interests again?
Well… There's neurology, Chuuya probably isn't into that.
Then there's… math…
And…
Oh yeah.
He doesn't have any interests.
He's a working machine.
Fuck.
He's been thinking that word a lot recently.