Chapter Text
"HELLOOOOOO, LOYAL VIEWERS!" A large, blue-skinned man with a swirly beard yelled into the camera. He donned a glamourous golden tuxedo (complete with top hat) that made his presence very, very clear, and he had a massive smile taking up half his face. He was surrounded by trees, grass, and mountains all around him.
"Some of you Disney buffs may recognise little ol' me as the fabulous, amazing, blue as blue can be, Genie. Y'know, star of the hit Disney movie Aladdin, played by the late, great Robin Williams," he clutched his chest in mourning, "bless his heart."
"Anyways, after ol' Al set me free from my itty-bitty living space, I decided to travel the worlds, jump a few dimensions and enjoy the best vacation spots a genie could ask for. Y'know, the pina coladas are nice this time of year. During one of my travels, I came across this swell little island right when it was being used for a game show."
He shapeshifted into a copy of Chris McLean, complete with beady eyes. "Total Drama: Paaaaahkitew Island! …dude." He said in a gratuitous surfer dude voice. He hastily switched back, muttering to himself, "man, that guy's a jerk! Both in, and out, of universe, if you get what I mean."
He teleported to a small mechanical elevator, leading down to the island control room. "Pretty sleek place if you ask me. Very mechanical. Lot of potential for renovations, I'm thinking a nice Genie cave right over-" The elevator suddenly closed on his head with a whir. "Help! Genie down!"
Cut to the campfire area.
"And, since this majestic place isn't being used for anything right now, I thought… why not start my own show? I mean, why let that jerk have all the fun? Who wouldn't want some of that sweet reality TV drama in our lives?"
He shifted again, into an attractive woman resembling Marilyn Monroe, speaking in a sultry falsetto. "Besides, moi does look good on the cameras, y'know?"
Back to normal. "So, here's the deal, loyal viewers. You readers – yes, you guys behind your fancy computer screens – get to submit the characters for this season. And they will all compete for…"
Drumrolls sounded in the background. "Wait for it…" Once he had waited about ten seconds, he continued.
"A wish. Yup, not a million dollars, but one single, no holds-barred, no restrictions, nadda, zilch, squat, wish, granted by yours truly."
He continued. "You could wish for world peace," he pinged a happy world behind him, with dozens of figures holding hands, "or world domination," the world changed to be lit in flames, "a million dollars," a massive pile of treasure crushed the globe, "or maybe just the best darn turkey sandwich you could ever have." It morphed into a sandwich that Genie promptly swallowed in one bite. "Mmm… finger-lickn' good! And it's not even a little dry, either!"
"All you gotta do is sign the dotted line," he spontaneously magicked up a contract, mostly in gibberish, "and you got yourself a free wish, courtesy of my super amazing semi-PHENOMENAL, nearly COSMIC POWERS!"
He whispered to the side in a stereotypical advertiser voice, "terms and conditions may apply."
"Of course, if you think it's gonna be easy… you got some nerve, mister." He rolled up his sleeves, as if getting ready to duke it out with them right then and there. "You gotta survive three months on this here island. Twenty-six lucky contestants from all over the multiverse will be split into two teams, handpicked by yours truly, and compete in all kinds of wacky, cuckoo-bananas challenges! The winning team gets a reward, while the losers must… vote someone off! Dun-dun-DUUUUUUUN!"
He mimed a stake to the heart, complete with high-pitched scream. "Rinse and repeat, et-cetera, et-cetera, until only one lucky contestant is left standing."
"Now, you got all that, loyal viewers?" The camera shook up and down, as if nodding. "Good. Now… GET IN THOSE SUBMISSIONS!"
*Screen turns off*