Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ao3 always liked to start his day with a good slowburn,  just the right amount of mutual pining and fluff that always gave an extra kick to his morning. He sat down in his comfy chair, stirring the tea and smacking his lips in satisfaction.

It was a slow day in the Archive. Understandable since the summer holidays were almost over and everyone was either prepping or already at work  or at school. AO3 had spent a little over an hour organizing the newly updated fics so he was glad he finally had time to relax.

Spoke too soon.

It started with a spark, a flash of light that he caught out of the corner of his eye while he was adding a pinch of crack to his tea. It happened again before an explosion that made him stumble and almost made him knock over a stack of unbeta’d fics.

A giant portal in the shape of ‘t’ appeared and Tumblr bounced out, wearing glittery cat ears, chunky boots and a crop top that said ‘gay panic’. Pure chaos flashed in her eyes.

AO3 groaned internally. Oh no…

“Hey, taggy!” She chirped in a sing-song voice like she hadn't just almost crashed the Archive. “I have something to show you!”

“Tumblr, I don't have time for this,” AO3 said as he placed a coffee shop AU with the others. “And don't call me ‘taggy’. You use tags too.”

“Yeah, but I don't take them as seriously as you do. Like, seriously, you have tags for EVERYTHING. Sometimes you just gotta tag it “idk how to tag this”, y’know.”

“Yeah and those fics end up getting zero kudos and then you cry to me when someone posts they have zero kudos. What a coincidence.”

Tumblr waved a dismissive hand. “Tomato, tomahto. Water under the fandom bridge. Now, for why I came here…”  With a flourish, she summoned a post in the form of a white tablet. The username read ‘beemdream’ with the pfp of cute sona.

“Look at this. She's a minor, just graduated middle school…” Tumblr read her pinned post excitedly. “Loves drawing. Just got a new drawing tablet. She came from Wattpad. Fandoms include: The Owl House, Spider-Man and Percy Jackson. She just posted her first fic! Come on, taggy. How can your heart not melt at this?”

AO3 shot her an unimpressed look. “That's amazing, T. But what exactly do you want me to do?”

Tumblr made puppy eyes, battering her lashes. “Well…”

“No.”

“What– YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT TO SAY?!”

“I do. You want me to promote her fic and put it on the top. Not going to happen. I'm not an algorithm, T.”

She gasped in mock surprise. “I get that! But just a little push–”

“ No. ”

“But–”

“NO.”

“Just–”

“T, NO! ”

They continued bickering until the portal flashed again. Tumblr had left it open.

“Aww, are the two love birds fighting again?” a bubbly voice said.

Sporting a red beret, Pinterest walked out, a sly smile on her face. Both her hands and clothes were stained with paint.

“You guys are so cute. The boards I made were definitely accurate.”

Ao3 pinched the bridge of his nose. “Pin, don’t start .”

Tumblr put her hands on her hips. “Yeah, we’re not dating!”

Pinterest raised a brow, that smug smile still on her face. “ Suuuure , you only have the closest relationship between two sites but yeah, definitely not dating.”

“Why are you even here?” Ao3 asked.

She shrugged. “A lot of users have been downloading a lot of pics in their fics so I’m just here to see my life's work. I’ll just leave you guys to do your moment, okay?”

“For the love of—WE’RE NOT DATING!”

But she had already skipped away, whispering “soon” ominously.

Ao3 turned to Tumblr. “Could you please close the portal before any other–”

“‘Sup, bros.”

Spotify lazily walked out of the portal. Green hoodie, headphones on and a face that was way too chill.

Tumblr waved awkwardly. “Hey, Spot.”

Spotify shot her finger guns. “Sup, T. Sup, A.”

Ao3 looked ready to explode. “Don’t sup me. What are you doing here?!”

Spotify held up his hands like he was suddenly held up by gunpoint. “Hey, what’s the big deal? I’m just here to check out the latest songfics!”

Ao3 sighed and waved him off. “Right. Sorry about that. Go ahead.”

Spotify nodded and walked away, humming to a song only he could hear.

A silence followed after that, much to Ao3’s delight. He took a deep breath and started arranging tags. The slow hum from the portal served as a soothing backdrop.

Tumblr cleared her throat to his attention. “Sooo…Have you thought about my request?”

His jaw tightened. “Just drop it. My answer is no.”

Tumblr scoffed, annoyed. “Ugh, you never care about your readers!”

Ao3 faced her, murder in his eyes. “I don’t care about readers? Seriously?! That’s what you think? I singlehandedly take care of this.”—he gestured to the massive, endless library that was the Archive—“every single day. And you think I DON’T CARE?!”

Tumblr stayed quiet.

“You know what? I’m too busy to deal with this. Do whatever you want and please just get out.” He turned his back to her.

She stared at him, nodded solemnly and walked away.

Ao3 exhaled sharply and was about to get back to arranging the ‘enemies-to-lovers’ fics when he realized his sister, Wattpad was staring at him. 

“Wow…that was rough.”

“H-how did you get there?” Ao3 asked, baffled.

Wattpad pointed to the portal behind her. “Uh… hello . Not exactly subtle.”

Ao3 rolled his eyes. “Whatever. What do you want?”

“I came here to talk to Pinterest. Instead, I walked into some relationship drama.”

“We’re not in a relationship, Paddy.”

“I never said that.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.” He looked away. “I…I just felt triggered . Y’know, ever since the scraping…” He rubbed his bandaged arm hidden under the sleeve of his jacket.

“I get it. But you shouldn’t have yelled at her all the same. You could have corrected her without yelling.”

“I know…” Ao3 muttered.

“How about you go talk to her? Clear the air?”

“Okay…”

Wattpad smiled. “That’s my little bro.”

Tumblr searched through the user files, looking for the name ‘beemdream’. She wasn’t going to do anything drastic; she just needed something to do with her hands and couldn’t think of anything else.

She felt bad. Really bad. Like “i’m-a-horrible-person” kind of bad. She had been petty, putting herself before others and thinking they were the ones being selfish. Ao3 had always been her friend—no matter how many times she annoyed him—and she basically threw that friendship away like it was nothing.

Suddenly, she felt something brush her back. 

No. Lower than that. 

She turned around and felt her heart leap into her throat when she saw who it was.

“T-Twitter?!”

Impeccable suit. Dazzling smile. Eyes that gleamed with polished malice. It was really him.

“It’s X now, baby.” His voice dripped like poisoned honey. “You should know that now.”

Tumblr clenched her fists, trying to stay calm. “W-what are you doing here?”

“I have connections, baby.”

“Please stop calling me that.”

For just a second, his mask dropped, revealing a face of desperation and annoyance. It was back on again when he stepped forward.

“What, you want me to stop calling my girlfriend my baby?”

“I’m not your girlfriend. Not anymore.”

X stepped closer—too close for comfort. His hand rose, fingers curling. Tumblr’s eyes widened.

But before the blow could fall, a hand caught his wrist.
It was Ao3.

“Get out of my Archive” was the only thing he said.

There was an icy silence—so thick it would take an ice pick to crack it—before X jerked his hand free, straightened his collar, and strode off, trailed by a small, bespectacled companion no one had noticed before, a figure called Grok.

“Statistically, this was not a healthy interaction,” it said before shuffling away.

“Are you okay?” AO3 asked once they were gone.
“Yeah, I am… thanks.”
AO3 rubbed the back of his neck. “So… you want something to eat? I’ve got some fresh smut on hand.”
Tumblr smirked. “I will never understand how you manage to say that with a straight face.”

Chapter Text

Instagram had never been a fan of books. Aside from their aesthetic covers and spicy quotes, she didn’t see the appeal of spending hours scanning words of pages and processing them like some sort of supercomputer psychopath.

Still, she was intrigued. Someone had been blowing up lately—and not by expected means. She couldn’t call them an influencer because they never showed their face—always behind an animated sona like those V-tubers Discord practically worshipped. They didn’t promote expensive products or exclusive hardcover books. Only underrated self-published books, homemade crafts and one specific topic—fanfiction.

Insta sucked on a lollipop as she scrolled through their profile, careful not to ruin her nails. Now, she never really cared for the niche. She sometimes pushed them on top of the algorithm but that was really it. No need to promote something people hadn’t even heard of, much less be interested in. But this user—Niche Nix, they called themselves (go figure…)—had been gaining quite a following, from talking about the latest fics of their respective fandoms to talking about ‘fandom etiquette’ to bashing anyone who thought less of fandom culture.

“Who are you, Nix?” she whispered, scrolling some more.

That’s when she saw it—some kind of logo on one of her posts. It looked weird; just a red circle and lines.

“Meta!” She called. That little bot was always off somewhere. “META!”

“Yes, Miss Instagram.” Meta stumbled in. She was short, wore her hair in a tight bun and had large eyes behind pink cat-eye glasses.

Insta shoved the post into her face. “What is this logo?”

Meta adjusted her glasses, squinting to get a closer look. She then paused, shuddered before speaking in a monotone voice.

“That is the logo of Ao3, an open-source archive for fanfiction and other fan-created works.”

“Ao3, huh…” Insta stood up from her lounge chair. “Let’s go pay him a visit, shall we?”

She shrugged on her cropped jacket—the one the colour of a gradient sunset with a camera icon on the sleeve— and snapped her fingers. There was a spark before a vibrant portal appeared in front of her.

She turned to Meta. “Try not to, like, glitch or anything, mmkay? Don’t mess up my image.”

Meta nodded like a dog and trailed behind her as they walked into the portal.

“~Now we got PRO-BLEMS! And I don’t think we can SOLVE ‘EM!~ ”

Spotify waved his arms frantically as he belted out the lyrics—very out of tune. Ao3 winced again as he arranged a pile of reader-inserts. Tumblr sat cross legged on the floor, snacking on a fluff fic and occasionally singing along.

“You’d think a number one music app would have a good voice,” Ao3 muttered, rubbing his ears as Spot reached the chorus once again. “But there he is, making my ears bleed.”

“~You made a really deep C-UT! And baby now we got BAD BLOOD!~ ”

Spotify made the action of throwing a mic down and threw his arms in the air. “THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Stream Bad Blood by Taylor Swift on Spotify!”

“Hm,” Ao3 smiled as he watched Spot whoop and cheer for himself. “Quite a performance. Thank you for making me feel like ripping my ears off.”

Spotify brushed himself on the shoulder smugly. “Hey man, I don’t blame you. Not everyone recognizes real talent.”

Ao3 gave him a look. “Some of my users have skills better than best-selling authors. Don’t talk to me about real talent.”

Tumblr clapped, smiling at her two friends. “Well, I enjoyed it. I’m quite a fan of Taylor Swift.”

“You’re a fan of everything,” Ao3 deadpanned.

“Your point?” Tumblr said sweetly.

Suddenly, there was an explosion that threw them all  to the ground. Ao3 landed on top of Tumblr while Spotify was sprawled on the floor like a starfish. 

A portal in the shape of a square with curved edges. It crackled with colours of pinks and purples and soft orange, like a mix of lightning and a sunset.

Ao3 looked at Tumblr accusingly. She held up her arms. “It’s not me this time!”

A long, high-heeled leg stepped out of the portal, followed by a sleek and stylishly dressed body. Instagram, in all her glory, stood in front of them, striking a pose.

“Uh, is he dead?” She asked, looking quizzically at Spotify on the floor.

“Nah, just chilling,” Spot replied, eyes closed.

Ao3 got on his feet, helping Tumblr up. He turned to Insta. 

“Instagram? What are you doing here?”

Insta snapped her arms and one of Niche Nix’s posts appeared in her hand. She shoved it in Ao3’s face.

“This user has been blowing up for a very strange reason,” she said. “They write fanfiction . I believe you are responsible for this?”

Ao3 stepped back to get a better look at the post. It was about Nix talking about her favourite Marauders era fics through an animated character that seemed to be her sona.

“Hmm. I don’t recognize the username,” he said, squinting. “Maybe she goes by a different one here.”

Insta scoffed, rolling her eyes. That was definitely not what she wanted to hear.

“Seriously?! That makes my job, like, a bajillion times harder.” She whipped out her phone and faced the portal that was still crackling behind her. “META!”

Meta stumbled out, blinking like she had been stuck on the other side. Insta was already giving her orders before she could even pick herself up.

Ao3 felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Tumblr.

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” she practically whispered, making sure Insta couldn’t hear.

Ao3 nodded, and they slipped behind a towering section of AUs. Tumblr glanced up at him, worry clouding her expression.

“I don’t think we should trust her,” she said. “The user clearly doesn’t want attention. What do you think she wants from them?”

Ao3’s jaw tightened.

“Please don’t tell her anything,” Tumblr pressed. “Apps like her always bring trouble.”

They returned to find Insta waiting impatiently.

“Okay, Meta’s scanning all their posts now. We just need a few details—fandom, location, whatever—”

“I’m sorry,” Ao3 cut in, “but I can’t disclose that information.”

Insta froze. “What?”

Ao3 took a deep breath. “I already said I did not recognize the username. I cannot tell you more than that.”

Insta stared with her mouth gaping as if being told ‘no’ was such a foreign concept to her.

“Okay, wow , you’re really going to make me the villain here?” she sneered. “I’m just going to–”

“Do what?” Tumblr stepped forward, arms crossed. “You’re going to invade their privacy by giving them attention they obviously don’t want?”

Insta glared at her. “And who are you supposed to be?”

Tumblr smiled. “The name’s Tumblr. Home of fandom and all things niche. You know, what you’re apparently allergic to.”

Her eye twitched, jaw clenched. “Oh please, I eat apps like you for breakfast .”

Tumblr smirked. “No wonder you’ve malnourished.”

Insta’s already tight smile slipped away like soup through a fork. “Oh you think you got jokes? Come meet my friends—they’ve got better .”

She fumbled with her phone — two sharp dings echoed — then snapped her fingers. In less than a heartbeat, two new portals flared open on either side of Instagram’s.

From one stepped YouTube, draped in a flamboyant red suit and a white feathered scarf. From the other emerged TikTok, sporting a ruffled jumpsuit and oversized, multicolored sunglasses.

YouTube and TikTok.

Ao3 felt cold sweat prickle at the back of his neck.

“I’m up!” Spotify jolted awake with a snort from his spot on the floor. He blinked blearily, took in the new arrivals, and muttered, “Oh… shit.”

Chapter Text

Don’t let the square glasses and red hoodie let you underestimate Reddit. He was a know-it-all who really did know it all. He was also an asshole—but that’s not the point.

The point was: he was sensing drama.

Now, Reddit didn’t like to leave his space, where he could engage in pointless arguments and wear the same threads to his heart’s content. But there was a disturbance in the Internet—and he knew he wouldn’t rest if he didn’t know where it was coming from.

“Um, sir?” one of his bots asked him.

“What?” Reddit said, slightly annoyed as he tried to get his portal working.

“A user complained that they were banned for no reason. Again.”

“Let them open a new account or whatever.”

“Should we ban that one too?”

“Sure. Go nuts.” Reddit smiled as a red portal opened in front of him. Finally.

Ao3 hadn’t been this nervous since the time a shipping war almost crashed the servers. But now the three most popular apps were staring at him in disgust like he was a pop-up ad.

“So this is our competition?” YouTube scoffed.

“Seriously, Insta, I thought we were better than this.” TikTok shook her head.

“Speak for yourself,” Tumblr muttered.

TikTok glared at her. “What did you say?”

“Forget it!” Instagram yelled before the fight could start. “That’s not why we’re here. Have you heard of Niche Nix?”

Youtube rubbed his chin before gasping dramatically. “Wait, she’s involved in this?!”

“No freakin’ way!” TikTok said.”She’s everywhere!”

“Can I say something?” Ao3 spoke up and soon everyone’s eyes were on him. He gulped. “Why do you want her? Why does she bother you guys so much?”

The three apps stayed silent.

“Oh, it’s now they’re quiet.”

“Shut it!” TikTok snapped. “It’s…well, it’s just unnatural.”

Ao3 raised a brow. “Unnatural?”

“Yeah.” Youtube scratched the back of his head. “That sort of thing isn’t supposed to be popular.”

“It’s taking attention from actual creators,” Insta added.

Tumblr saw red but managed to contain herself. “Isn’t she an ‘actual’ creator?”

“No,” said the three most popular apps in unison.

Ao3 laughed nervously. “Okay, um, I—I’ll keep looking for her. She probably goes by a different username, so…”

“Can you check her…author’s notes,” Insta read off her phone in slight disgust. “That’s a thing here, right?”

“Um…yeah, it is.” He rubbed his hands. “But I don’t check them. That will be an invasion of privacy of my users.”

They looked at him like he was crazy.

“Just…tell us when you find something,” Youtube flipped his scarf over his shoulder. “Anyway, I must be going. This place is way to cramped for my liking.”

“Yeah, me too,” TikTok said, checking her nails.

“How you find an endless library ‘cramped’ says a lot about you,” Tumblr said, twisting the knife.

They both glared at her and went through their respective portals.

Instagram stared at him that was way too creepy for comfort, then she threw her head back and called out, “Meta!”

The bot rushed out behind a shelf of crackfics. “Yes, Miss Insta?”

“Did you…search what we were looking for?”

The bot nodded. “Yes, miss.”

She smirked at Ao3 and Tumblr. “Good.”

Tumblr exhaled sharply in anger. “You b—”

But with a snap of her fingers, Insta and her assistant was gone.

Tumblr turned to Ao3 once they were alone. “Did you see that?! That little witch sent her stupid bot to search people’s fics. Fics that are supposed to be private!”

“We didn’t see it,” Ao3 said quietly.

“Still, how dare she?!” Tumblr threw her arms up. “And what do you mean you will look for her username? You’re not actually going to do it, right?”

“Of course, I won’t. I just said that because there were too many characters here—”

“Characters?”

“People,” Ao3 corrected himself, rubbing his temple. “Sorry. Long day.”

“Long day, indeed,” Tumblr sighed, her hand on her hips. “Well, at least it’s over…for now. Hey—where’s Spotify?”

“He must have left. You know he doesn’t like drama.”

“Yet he’s the first one who always wants to hear about it.”

They both laughed, taking a bit of the tension off their shoulders.

“I need a snack,” Tumblr said. “Wanna grab a coffee shop AU?”

Ao3 smiled. “Yeah, you know those are my fav—”

Another portal exploded open, flinging them to the floor once more.

“Oh, COME ON!” Tumblr yelled to no one in particular. “Isn’t it enough already?!”

Sorry.

The portal was bright-red with flecks of white that made the shape of a strange-looking face. Someone poked their head out of one of the eyes.

“Aaaand of course it’s you,” Ao3 groaned.

“Oh…Reddit. How delightful.” Tumblr rolled her eyes.

Reddit hopped in a flourish. “Oh, come on, A. Is that any way to greet your cousin?”

Tumblr always laughed at that fact. “Sucks to be you,” she said to him.

Ao3 shot her a look. “Shut up.”

Reddit stared at them. “Oh wow, Pinterest was right. You guys are slower than a slow-burn.”

Tumblr raised her brow. “You read fanfiction?”

“As insufferable as he might be,” Ao3 said. “Reddit is quite…educated, to say the least. He also has a big fandom community.”

“Yeppity yep yep.” He adjusted his glasses and looked around. “Now where are they?”

“Where is who?”

“TikTok, Youtube and Instagram.”

“They left,” she informed him. “Took their drama with them. Hopefully.”

He flashed her a smug smile, like he knew something they didn’t. “Yeah…hopefully.”

“You are uncharacteristically calm for someone who just missed the biggest drama of the century,” Ao3 said.

Reddit shrugged. “You know…I might have been here when they were.”

“Then why did you ask me where they were?”

He smiled again. “To keep things interesting.”

Tumblr clenched her fists. “You keep finding new ways for me to hate you, don’t you?”

“Anyways,” Ao3 stepped between them. “Red, why exactly are you hear then?”

“To know more about this ‘Niche Nix’ creator.” He removed his glasses and cleaned them on his hoodie. “‘Cuz apparently she’s taking the internet by storm. I don’t think she has made a Reddit account yet. Wonder why.”

“Probably because you keep banning people,” Tumblr scoffed.

Red pointed at her, his expression unreadable. “You make too much noise, downvoted.”

A black tape suddenly appeared on Tumblr’s mouth. She grabbed her throat, panicked, struggling to speak.

“Reddit…” Ao3 warned, his voice dnagerously calm.

“Chillax.” He rolled his eyes. “She’s just being dramatic. She’ll be fine.”

“I'd like you to leave my Archive, please.”

He raised his arms up. “Okay, okay. I flew too close to the sun. I respect that.”

He snapped his fingers and Tumblr fell to the floor, gasping heavily. Ao3 rushed to her side.

“Oh, and A?”

He looked up to see Red standing in front of his portal.

“Your readers are really getting better. I’ve read horrorfics that are even better than Stephen King! Smut, on the hand…not so much.”

With a mock salute, he fell backwards into his portal, going as quickly as he came.

Tumblr coughed, still clutching her throat. “I hate that guy.”