Archive of Our Own ^beta

Lopen and Drehy are on guard at the Oathgates when Kaladin’s due to return from the Shattered Plains. Though, the Tower defenses being what they now are, “on guard” is a bit of a formality. So they’re just playing a card game. Something Kaladin would chew them out for, except he isn’t actually their commanding officer anymore so… too bad for him.

They’re halfway through their second round when Brightness Shallan pulls over a chair to their makeshift guard post and sits down on it backwards. “Evening, boys. Can I join you?”

Things being what they are between their former Captain and the Prince and Princess of Kholinar, the men of Bridge Four have kind of gotten used to this at this point. “Waiting for Kal, Brightness?” Drehy says as he deals her in.

“Waiting to see if my assumption will be proven right,” Shallan says cryptically. “I need to be here in person to witness this if it is.”

“Assumptions about our good captain?” Lopen says. “Care to share with the Lopen? He is very good at secrets, sure.” He winks at her.

Drehy snorts. “Lopen, you’re terrible at secrets.”

“All will be revealed momentarily,” Shallan says, taking up her card hand. “Or nothing will happen, and I’ll look like a fool. Could go either way.”

Well, now Drehy’s curious as well.

They play a few rounds, though most games end in Shallan trying to find increasingly convoluted ways to cheat with illusions while Lopen gets more invested in figuring out how she’s cheating than in winning, before the Oathgate lights up again. Then, they all set their cards down and turn to watch, though Drehy’s still not sure what they’re looking for.

The door to the command building opens and Kaladin steps out onto the Oathgate platform. He looks… disheveled. He looks very disheveled, and for a moment Drehy worries he’s been attacked, except he’s smiling. Just sort of smiling to himself in a way he rarely does, and altogether just seems kind of pleased and light and glowy.

“Looks like an axehound that got a whole pork chop,” Lopen says, grinning.

Shallan starts giggling. “I love being right.”

“Did he get laid?” Drehy says, and Shallan laughs louder.

“He and Leshwi are frieennnddsss,” she says, drawing it out teasingly, “didn’t you know that?”

Drehy did in fact know that. He whistles. “Damn. He’s got a type, huh?”

“Only the most terrifying of women for our Kal!” Lopen says, and bows towards Shallan.

She presses her safehand to her chest, delighted. “What a compliment! Thank you, Lopen.”

The noise they’re making draws Kaladin’s attention. He frowns at them, probably for playing cards instead of taking guard duty seriously. Then, as he takes in their gleeful looks, his expression turns pained.

Lopen gives him a cheerful salute. Shallan gives him two thumbs up and then starts clapping.

Kaladin scrubs his hands over his face, then steels himself and starts walking over to them. He steps off the Oathgate platform—

—and drops to the ground as quick as if he’d been shot in the head.

Somehow, despite being the only one without gravitational lashings, Shallan is the first out of her seat. She jumps up and sprints over to him, Drehy and Lopen following quickly behind. Kaladin’s limp on the ground when they get to him. Shallan shakes him by the shoulder but he doesn’t stir.

“What happened, he looked totally fine?” Drehy says, setting some infused spheres in Kaladin’s hand. He doesn’t breathe in the stormlight.

“I don’t know,” Shallan groans. “He doesn’t look hurt or anything, does he?”

He doesn’t seem to be. “Syl, are you around?” Drehy asks.

Nothing.

“Hmm,” says Lopen. “It was only after he left the Oathgate, yes?” Without waiting for them to respond, he grabs Kal under the arms and drags him back onto the platform.

It takes a few moments, but eventually Kaladin stirs with a groan, waking and then pushing himself to sit upright woozily. “What happened?”

“You tell us, gancho,” Lopen says. “One moment, honeymoon glow! The next—” he mimes getting smacked in the head.

My apologies, says the Sibling, voice rumbling up through the ground and making them all jump, the Tower’s anti-voidlight defenses… do not well comprehend nuance.

They all take a moment to try to understand that, and then Kaladin starts blushing. He hides his face in his hands, leaning on his knees, shamespren appearing in a burst of petals above his head. “Fuck.”

Shallan rubs his back soothingly, but starts laughing.

“Stop,” Kaladin whines.

“Come now,” she says, “you’re a doctor. Don’t you know how to use protection?”

Kaladin groans in agony.

“Wow,” Drehy says. “Seriously?”

“Aw, don’t judge, gon,” Lopen says. “Look, he is already suffering.”

“I was judging the Tower’s judgment, really.” He can’t help a grin. “Can’t a man just get railed in peace these days?”

“Please stop,” Kaladin begs.

“I’m happy for you,” Shallan says, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “And I doubt the Tower will do it again, so you should feel free to indulge yourself.”

“You know what, I’m going to get up and walk away now,” Kaladin says, and pushes himself to his feet, dislodging her arm. He hesitates before stepping off the Oathgate platform. “Please don’t knock me out again.”

Fortunately, the Tower does not. As Kaladin walks away, Lopen calls after him, “Walk of pride! Woo! Get it, Captain!”

“Congratulations!” Drehy yells.

“Fuck all of you!” Kaladin shouts back. Shallan opens her mouth to speak, and Kaladin adds, without even looking over his shoulder, “Don’t say anything, Shallan!”

Drehy sighs. “Alright, I think we’ve had our fun for now.” All jokes aside, he is, genuinely, happy for him. Kaladin has few enough things in his life that make him happy. If a former-enemy ancient demigod soldier is going to be one of those things, well, who are any of them to judge?

They make their way back over to the table where they’ve been sitting, supposedly on guard duty. Shallan turns over her cards. “I forfeit the game. I have to go tell my husband a very entertaining story. Thank you for having me, I hope this is the only eventful moment of your guard duty.”

“Sure, it has been one for the records,” Lopen says. “Please, feel free to involve the Lopen in any more gossip going forward. In return, he shall be sure to keep a watchful eye out for any interesting activities whenever we train out on the plains.”

“It’s a pact, Lopen,” Shallan says. “I always knew you were a man of culture and good judgment.” She nods to each of them. “Good sirs, I bid you both farewell.”

When she’s gone, Lopen says, “Truly, while there may be no such true thing as ‘normal’, our dear bridgeleader remains incapable of courting anyone who walks within a thousand miles of the idea.”

“What did you expect? It’s Kaladin,” Drehy says, and picks up his cards again.