Archive of Our Own ^beta

Back in the original dimension, a man glares at the platypus while rubbing his sore cheek.

“Perry the Platypus, what was that for?” Doof protests as he gets up off the floor. “Sometimes you could be more communicative instead of always resorting to violence.”

Perry looks at him and starts making little chittering noises, gesturing with his paws.

“Hey, are you making fun of me?”

The animal gives him a sarcastic smile.

“Dad, we don’t have time for this,” Vanessa interjects, stepping between them.

The platypus listens to her and goes to look for the remote Phineas built, completely ignoring the scientist.

Doof, however, isn’t about to let the spat go and keeps provoking him.

“You know, Perry? Yesterday you left before the episode was over,” he squints and grins at him. “I bet you don’t know who Jennifer ended up with.”

Perry spins around, frowns, and emits a warning chitter.

“Aha! You don’t know,” Doof points at him with a finger and beams triumphantly. “Well, it was Alan.”

That was the last excuse Perry needed — he lunges at Doofenshmirtz. The two of them start rolling around on the floor while Vanessa, Ferb, and Stacy watch in disbelief.

“Shall we start looking around on our own?” Stacy asks, glancing as Perry grabs Doof’s lamp and starts chasing him with it.

“Perry, be careful with that lamp — it cost me a fortune!”

The others nod and begin helping Stacy, while the platypus ignores Doofenshmirtz and continues pursuing him with the lamp.

“Come on, Perry the Platypus, if you forgive me I’ll pay for two months of whichever streaming service you want. That way you can watch the episodes without spoilers!”

Doof starts running around the couch trying to escape Perry, but the platypus corners him against a bookshelf and, just as he’s about to strike, Doof knocks something off one of the shelves.

The machine vibrates and fires a beam at the basket of remotes.

“Nooo, Perry the Platypus, you just activated my Muchaspatas-inator!”

“Dr. Doof?” Stacy grimaces as she watches the remotes begin to sprout legs. “What is this?”

“Oh, it’s my latest inator. Behold the Lot-of-legs-inator!” the man replies, pointing at the basket of remotes.

“And why did you make a machine like that? What use does it have?”

“Well, when I was little—”

“Why are you even asking?” Vanessa interrupts, shoving Stacy to her feet. “We have a bigger problem right now.”

Stacy watches in horror as the remotes, now with multiple legs, scuttle across the living room trying to escape.

“Ferb? Any ideas?” Vanessa asks as she tries to catch one of the remotes, misses, and clumsily falls to the floor.

Stacy, not far away, isn’t having any better luck. She clicks her tongue in frustration and looks at Ferb.

The green-haired boy nods and pulls a screwdriver from his pocket.

“I just need to make a few adjustments to the machine,” he says as he heads over to where the doctor is still mid-monologue.

“And that’s why doesn’t have centipedes in Gimmelshtump ,” Doof concludes, completely unaware that no one’s been listening. “Oh, do you need the inator, kid? Here.” The man grabs the device and, while handing it to Ferb, accidentally presses the self-destruct button.

The boy blinks twice, then looks at the girls.

“Well, we’re going to have to catch them the old-fashioned way.”

...

“Here it is!” Stacy shouts triumphantly, holding up the small remote-shaped device Phineas built. The gadget wiggles its legs frantically, trying to escape. Then it freezes and, with a POOF, the legs vanish. “What just happened?” she asks in confusion.

“It’s for the sake of the plot,” Ferb says as he steps closer, and Stacy hands him the remote. The green-haired boy examines it carefully, turning it over in his hands.

Vanessa leans in to study the tiny portable device with curiosity.
“So, Ferb? Is this Phineas’s work?”

Ferb gives a thumbs-up.
“It has Phineas’s signature style.”

“Well then, I suppose we can finally—” she emphasizes the word with a glare at her father, “—get going.”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Doof mutters, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “I thought it made sense to keep it in the basket of remotes because, well, technically it is a remote… I didn’t think it would take us a little while to find it.”

“A little while?” Vanessa snaps, exasperated. “It took us three and a half hours to catch it, Dad. Why did you even build that machine?” Doof opens his mouth to answer, but she cuts him off immediately. “Don’t answer, I don’t want to know.” She rubs her temples.

Perry lets out a chitter, glaring at the doctor.

“Oh no, Perry,” Vanessa warns, turning to the platypus. “Don’t you dare pin this all on my dad. You two clean this mess up while we figure out the next step.” She points to the living room. “And… why do you even have so many remotes?”

Doof hands Perry a bucket and mop, then starts mopping the floor right alongside him.
“I like to keep them as souvenirs from my -inators. It’s all I have left, since someone—” he shoots the platypus a look, folding his arms, “—keeps destroying them. And Perry the Platypus, don’t scrub so hard, you’ll ruin the shine on the floor.”

The platypus gives an awkward little smile.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen him make that face,” Stacy comments, surprised.

“That’s because you haven’t seen what he looks like when my dad makes him pay for the doors he breaks.”

“He makes you pay for doors?” she asks, impressed, glancing at Doof.

“Well, it was a solid oak door,” Doof replies, picking up the lamp.

“Can we please focus?” Vanessa cuts in impatiently. “Candace’s brother and his girlfriend could be in danger.”

“They’re not a couple,” Stacy corrects quickly. “It’s… complicated.”

“My brother can’t process romantic love when Isabella’s involved. It’s like his brain short-circuits.”

“I just don’t understand kids these days,” Doof grumbles. “Back in my time, holding hands like they do was already a big deal. And when I mentioned it, they nearly killed me with their glares.”

Stacy stares at him, wide-eyed.
“Wait—you actually mentioned something about love in front of Phineas and he reacted?” She whips out her phone. “Candace has to hear this.”

“Stacy,” Vanessa snaps the phone shut. “Candace must not find out, remember?”

Perry lets out an impatient chitter, snapping everyone back to the mission.

The platypus dashes off to his hovercraft and motions for the others to climb aboard. They hurry after him.

“This is way too cramped, and someone’s stepping on me,” Doof complains. “How are you doing, Vanessa?”

“I’m more worried about Ferb,” she replies, glancing at the green-haired boy squished between her and Stacy. “Ferb?”

He doesn’t say anything, but he looks a little uneasy. Vanessa doesn’t give it much thought, assuming it’s just her imagination.

Ferb presses the button on the remote, and a green portal opens, teleporting them all straight into the Second Dimension.

POV ISABELLA

After hours of building and going over Candace 2D’s battle plan, we finally find ourselves just a few meters away from Evil Doofenshmirtz’s building, waiting for her signal to attack.

Her shout echoes as the sign to strike from our strategic point, and then a familiar song suddenly starts playing.

As if it had all been planned ahead of time, a whole swarm of robots comes flying straight at us in that precise moment.

“Love Händel?” I ask, baffled to see the band appear out of nowhere.

“Are you still surprised?” Phineas answers while dodging a robot arm and shooting it with the baseball launcher. “They played in the battle in our dimension. I’ve even heard they show up in flashbacks.”

“Makes perfect sense to me,” I reply, covering his back and firing at the robots that managed to slip past the traps my other-dimensional self and the Fireside Girls had set up.

It’s gonna be a mechanized melee…
This is a Robot Riot! (Robot Riot)

“Come on, guys, let’s kick some metal butts!” Candace 2D shouts, riding one of the robot dogs. “Soldier Johnson, take care of the ones coming from the south. I’m claiming this side.” She adjusts her sunglasses and smiles, pulling out a massive staff and swinging it fiercely around her, passing it from hand to hand.

When we get through you’re gonna know it’s true…

And with that, the battle begins.

I watch the city from my position. Chaos erupts everywhere, and confused citizens are running in panic, trying to find safety.

“Phineas!” I shout so he can hear me over the noise of the enemies. “I’m going down to take care of those ones!” I point to a group that has started to gather in the commercial district of the city.

You think you’re gonna take us down…
This is a Robot Riot! (Robot Riot)

“Alright, Isabella,” he calls back, not stopping his fire.

I take advantage of the moment the dog leans forward and jump. Landing on the ground with a roll, I glance back at Phineas.

I think you know what I mean (Robot Riot)

He thumps his chest with his fist, then points it at me with a smile. I return the gesture and grin back before rushing toward the robots.

On the way, I spot the others. In the distance, I see Buford along with the Phineas and Ferb from the Second Dimension.

They’re knocking robots down with such ease they’re practically falling like flies. Everything seems under control on their side, so I keep running toward the big building.

Then a scream catches my attention—I see an old lady about to be crushed by a metallic torso.

Alarmed, I push myself to run faster than ever, reaching her just in time to shove her out of the way. The robot’s body crashes to the ground with a loud thud. The woman clings to me, still in shock.

I’m gonna break you down…
This is a Robot Riot!

After making sure she’s okay and her breathing is steady again, I pick up my beret from the ground and put it back on. I carefully scan the area for more enemies.

A small sound alerts me I’m not alone. I draw my weapon and fire at a couple of robots coming out from behind a building.

Once they collapse to the ground, I take a moment to catch my breath.

I glance back, searching for Phineas. I find him fighting his own battle, surrounded by a group of robots.

I stand and keep running toward the commercial area. I’m not worried about him at all. He’s Phineas, and this isn’t his first fight—just like it isn’t mine or anyone else’s here.

Cause your momma was a blender…
This is a Robot Riot!

When I finally reach the building, I’m surprised to see my other-dimensional self and the Fireside Girls there too. The whole place is covered in traps, constantly exploding and sending pieces flying everywhere.

She’s in the center, barking orders while shooting down the robots that slip through.

I have to admit—it’s pretty impressive to watch.

Then 2D Gretchen misses her shot. The robot takes advantage and aims at her, but she dodges. It seems okay at first, but being so close to the edge, she loses her balance and clings to the robot dog. My 2D self immediately leaps to her rescue.

With some effort, she manages to pull Gretchen 2D back up—but she’s so focused she doesn’t see another robot sneaking up behind. It shoves her, sending her off the edge.

I’m gonna rip you up, I’m gonna break you down…

I choke back a scream, terrified as she plummets toward the ground—until Phineas 2D suddenly swoops in on his own robot dog and catches her midair. She looks at him, and for the first time, she doesn’t seem angry or annoyed to see him.

I smile, caught up in the scene, completely swept away by how romantic it is.

Well done, Phineas. You’ve got this.

I’m proud of him. Phineas always proves himself a hero, even if he’s from another dimension.

A sound snaps me out of my daydreams.

Come on, Isabella. You can’t get distracted shipping your alternate selves.

YOU’RE IN A BATTLE. FOCUS.

I shake my head and force myself back to reality.

The robots have abandoned the area and are now gathering in Danville Park. Shouts and blasts fill the air, but they’re suddenly silenced. Astonished, I watch as a pack of animals wearing hats appears out of nowhere.

You’ll be dreadin’ this android Armageddon…

The OWCA animal agents have arrived, tearing through the robots with bites, claws, and even tail whips.

Perry and 2D Pinky are there too, though they look very different from ours.

Are they cyborgs?

It’s so strange seeing my beloved pet with a metal arm, fighting robots.

A sharp pain shoots through my head, and an image flashes in my mind: my own dog with a hat.

That’s right—Pinky is part of the same organization as Perry!

Better check your fluids… I know you’re sweatin’.

A voice cuts through my thoughts and drags me back to reality.

“Hey, Soldier Garcia-Shapiro, need a ride?”

An explosion booms in the distance. Something’s happening at Doofenshmirtz’s building. I turn and see Candace smiling at me, riding on the robot dog. Beside her, Jeremy extends a hand to help me up.

“Did you hear that?” I ask, looking toward the spot where I left Phineas minutes ago.

“Yeah, and I didn’t like it,” she answers.

You’ll blow a fuse… take a robot snooze…
Don’t wanna beat around the bushes, gonna decimate ya.

The dog takes off running, charging toward the source of the noise in sync with Love Händel’s guitar and drums. By now I don’t even question why everything’s timed so perfectly.

When we arrive, I can’t believe my eyes.

This is a Robot Riot! (Robot Riot)
Oh man, it’s on! (Robot Riot)

“IT’S FERB!”

Never in my life have I been so happy to see him.

This is a Robot Riot! (Robot Riot)

And it’s not just Ferb. Vanessa, Stacy, Doctor Doof are there too, and—WHAT?!—PERRY?!

This is a robot riot (Robot Riot)…

Too many questions spin through my mind, but there’s no time for answers now.

The song is almost over, yet there are even more robots than before. How does that make any sense?

This is a Robot Riot!

The fight rages on, fiercer than ever—because the most incredible brother duo in the world is back.

Robot Riot, Robot Riot (Look out!)

POV NORMAL

Meanwhile, Vanessa and her father are still in the building, deciding what to do.

“Dad,” she asks, looking at Doof with curiosity, “how did you convince your evil self last time?”

The doctor looks at his daughter and smiles nostalgically at the memory.

“Ah, it was because of Choo-choo.”

“Chuchu?”

“My little toy train. He had lost his when he was a kid, so I gave him mine.”

Vanessa arches an eyebrow and stares at her father in disbelief.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“No.” He scratches his head, confused. “Why?”

“Dad,” she exclaims, exasperated, “are you telling me this entire battle is happening because of a toy?”

“Yes.”

“Then why is he evil again?”

“Hmmm… I don’t know.” Doof strokes his chin thoughtfully. “Maybe he lost it again.”

“What? Ugh… you know what? Coming from your other-dimensional self, I actually believe it.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean? Besides, deep down he’s a nice guy. We even sang a song together.”

But he can’t go on because a dark figure suddenly appears in the room.

“Still such a clown,” Evil Doofenshmirtz growls, pressing a button that locks them with shackles rising straight from the floor. “As you can see, my plan to take back control of the Tri-State Area has just begun. And once it’s under my power, then—”

“Dad, did you notice the scar is above the eyepatch?” Vanessa whispers, ignoring the scientist.

“Yes,” he whispers back. “But don’t bring it up, he doesn’t like it.”

“Hello?” 2D Doofenshmirtz waves his hands in annoyance. “I’m explaining my evil plan here. How rude.”

The rooftop door bursts open, and a woman enters with determined steps, followed closely by a very differently dressed 2D Vanessa.

“That’s because you lack presence, Heinz,” Charlene says, snatching the remote from him. “Let me handle it.”

“Ever since we started living together you won’t let me do anything on my own,” the man grumbles.

“Can we do something normal after this?” 2D Vanessa joins in. “Like… go to the movies, for example.”

Her father stops arguing with Charlene and looks at his daughter.

“There’s a really nice train movie.”

“Trains again, Heinz?” Charlene frowns. “Now I remember why we separated.”

“You threw Choo-choo out the window!” he snaps, pointing an accusing finger at his wife.

Vanessa watches the scene and leans slightly toward her father, as much as the shackles allow.

“Dad, this is way too surreal,” she mutters, careful not to draw the dysfunctional family’s attention. “Mom’s evil in this dimension?”

Doof hears his daughter and then scowls, visibly annoyed.

“That’s unfair. She never paid that much attention to any of my inators.”

Charlene ends the argument and raises the remote she just took from her husband.

“Well, since you’re too busy throwing a tantrum over your toy…” She points to a large machine in the corner and twists a dial. “I’ll be the one to conquer the Tri-State Area by turning the robots’ aggression level up to 3. Hahahahaa!” Thunder booms in the distance, accompanying her.

“And she even has her own evil laugh,” Vanessa shakes her head. “This is way too weird, Dad.”

“Her laugh is better than yours.”

“SHUT UP, NORM, and keep looking for Choo-choo!” Evil Doofenshmirtz yells angrily.

Charlene glances at her husband and clicks her tongue in disgust.

“Heinz, if you’re not going to help, just stay out of the way.” She presses another button, and shackles spring up to trap Evil Doofenshmirtz as well. “And why not? Let’s turn it up to level 4. Vanessa, sweetheart, keep an eye on them for me.”

The woman pockets the remote and disappears through the door, leaving her daughter alone with her father, Doof, and Vanessa.

“So… how dangerous is level 4?” the scientist asks his 2D self.

The other man pauses for a second, then answers seriously.

“The last time I used level 3, Norm burned down the kitchen.”

“The kitchen?”

“Well, he couldn’t get the little decorations right on the cupcakes. He’s very picky.”

An uncomfortable silence falls over the room as they all begin to worry about the future of the city and its inhabitants.

POV ISABELLA

Was that… thunder?

I glance up at the building, confused, not really understanding how that’s possible when the sky is completely clear.

I don’t have much time to think about the weather logic, though, because a robot suddenly shows up.

I start firing at it like I did with the others, but then another one appears and corners me against the wall. They’re way more aggressive than before and seem even more dangerous.

This time I actually feel a real threat.

I barely have time to brace myself before it extends its metal arm toward me, and all I can do is shut my eyes, waiting for the impact. But it never comes. When I open them, a ball is slamming against its armor over and over until it shatters.

“ISABELLA!”

I look up and see Phineas, riding on Perry’s hovercraft. He jumps down and lands on the ground right in front of me, back turned, his body tense as he holds the blaster tight and aims at the robots. But it’s what he yells next that leaves me completely speechless.

“DON’T TOUCH MY GIRLFRIEND!”

EXCUSE ME, WHAT?!

His voice is full of rage and fury, and yet I can’t stop the goofy smile spreading across my face. Then he turns to me, and the look on his face makes me worry immediately.

He clenches his teeth and looks up.
“Perry.”

After knocking down the robot he was fighting, Perry leans out from the hovercraft window.

“Call the OWCA. The one from our dimension. We need them.”

I can see the concern in Perry’s eyes. I know he realizes what his bosses will do once they find out we know his secret.

When Perry hesitates, Phineas presses again.
“Trust me, Perry. I’m not making this decision lightly.” He pauses, clenching his fist in frustration. “But they outnumber us, and they’re more dangerous than before.” Then he looks at me and takes my hand, squeezing it gently. “Isabella?”

“Yes, Phineas?” I answer, confused.

“Do you trust me?”

I know he already knows the answer, but somehow it feels like he needs to hear it.

“Always.”

He smiles at me and lowers his voice.
“Then the letter I gave you earlier will be our biggest hope. I know you’ll make it work. Protect it at all costs, and don’t let the OWCA see it.”

I don’t like the sound of this conversation at all, but if Phineas trusts me, then I have to be strong.

“Okay,” I reply, and just as I’m about to let go of his hand and return to the fight, something crosses my mind. “Phineas?”

I tug lightly on his hand, pulling him closer, and look him right in the eyes.

“Yes?” he answers, a little confused.

I smile and blink as adorably as I can.
“What did you just call me? I’m not sure I heard right…”

I try to look as calm as possible, but inside I’m screaming with excitement.

SAY IT AGAIN, SAY IT AGAIN!

“Me? Girl…?”

He cuts himself off all of a sudden. Perry lets out a teasing little chitter, and Phineas turns completely red as he realizes what he just blurted out a moment ago.

“Uh… They need me over there,” he mumbles, scratching his ear with a nervous smile. Then he turns and starts running. “Be careful, Isabella.”

I think I hear Ferb laughing.

Was he here the whole time?
Always so quiet.

“Ferb, don’t you have a robot to fight?” Phineas shoots back, embarrassed.

Seeing him like this, I can’t help but giggle.

Looks like today was a lucky day for our relationship in both dimensions.