Archive of Our Own ^beta

The beach was a long strip of sand and sun playing tag with ocean waves. Gulls shrieked. A lone sand piper stabbed at bubbles. The air was salty and piles of seaweed baked in the bright heat. The beach was also isolated and unmarked on any map; mandatory qualifications for Techno and Phil to remove their armor.

Technoblade, Philza, Ranboo and Niki stood before the scene like soldiers going to war, armed with buckets and shovels, sunscreen and umbrella, food and drinks.

“How did you guys convince me to do this again?” Ranboo asked, eyeing the waves with distrust.

“We needed a vacation. This is vacation.” Techno said, appraising the beach with a critical eye:  

Water? Check.

Sand? Check.

Palm trees? Check.

Mission Beach Episode was a go.

Niki beamed, her shoulders scrunched. “It's been ages since I went to a beach just to have fun!”

“Same!” Phil squinted in the sunlight and coughed out a sharp laugh. “Unless you count Kristin’s visit, I guess.”

They shared good-natured grins at that, then Niki hefted her bags higher. “Okay! Let’s go!” 

They picked out a spot on the sand for their base camp far enough from the water that even at high tide the waves wouldn’t become a threat. Techno stabbed the massive umbrella he carried over his shoulder into the sand like a flag, claiming the patch of shore for the Syndicate. Niki and Phil unfurled an old blanket in the umbrella’s shade and Ranboo set their chest of goodies on top.

“Heads up!” Technoblade popped the umbrella open and Ranboo ducked to avoid its canopy. 

Once the runner locked, Technoblade settled into the shade and pulled out a dog-eared copy of The Iliad. Philza trundled off, arms laden with buckets and shovels and Technoblade glanced up from his book periodically, observing as the shore was steadily transformed first into a small hamlet of mounds, then into a mighty empire for crabs, complete with castles, manors, and moats.

Niki and Ranboo stripped down to their undershirts and kicked off their sandals. Niki tied her hair up and ran down to the water. Technoblade knew when she began wading in by her involuntary shriek about the water’s chilly temperature. 

Ranboo pulled out a bottle of water repellent ointment. They eased out a palm full and began contorting every which way to rub it into their skin. This was in addition to a water resistance potion they’d taken earlier. Technoblade would never be one to criticize the art of overkill, but each time Ranboo twisted around, they looked more and more like an oil spill and the reflections bounced stars into Techno’s eyes, which made keeping his focus on Lycaon’s futile pleas to Achilles difficult.

Dryly, he called, “Yo, looking slick, Captain Sparkles.” and ducked away from a thrown bottle, laughing.

Ranboo strutted off to join Niki and Techno settled back to read again. After a few minutes, he put the book aside and rolled out from under the umbrella’s shade into the sunlight.

In the Nether, heat was omnipresent. It held him in a scalding embrace no matter where he went. The shade and sun of the Overworld was still novel at times. Here, the air was wet and cool. The sun placed gentle kisses on his skin. 

Techno folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. He dozed in and out to the sound of waves and laughter. His ear twitched at a shuffle in the sand. 

Then freezing cold water exploded over his face and snout. 

Technoblade rose up with a roar. Ranboo fled  with their incriminating bucket and Philza, the traitor, started cackling. Techno thundered after Ranboo, smashed sand suburbs in his wake. Philza squawked and tumbled out of the way.

“Phil told me to!” Ranboo shrieked and tried to climb into Niki’s arms for protection.

“Dude!” Phil didn’t deny it though.

“You are a free ungoverned individual!” Techno splashed into the surf, soaking his shirt and pants, and grabbed at them.

Niki was laughing and backed into deeper water as Ranboo perched on her like some giant lanky spider. 

A familiar weight collapsed onto Technoblade’s own shoulders, nearly bringing him to his knees, and Philza crowed, “Chicken fight!”

“Yeah!” Niki found her footing and charged toward Techno.

Technoblade grinned and steadied Phil’s legs. Ranboo gasped and frantically adjusted their position on Niki’s shoulders. Phil and Ranboo’s hands locked together. They pushed and turned and swayed in the mighty dance of combat. 

Niki stepped close and Techno felt her foot under the water kick at his knee, but she couldn’t put any power into it while she was balancing Ranboo. 

Techno narrowed his eyes.“You’d cheat at chicken?” 

Niki grinned. “Opportunities multiply as they are seized.”

“Ha!” Techno bent his knees, bracing his hooves deep in the sand. “One may know how to conquer without being able to do it. ”

“Nerds!” Ranboo grunted as Phil leaned against them.

Behind Niki, Techno spotted a wave gathering. “Threee.”

Phil saw it too. “Twoo.”

“One!”

Ranboo and Niki lunged forward in anticipation for a great shove, but Techno and Phil twisted to the side into the wave, which crashed onto Niki’s back and swept her off her feet. Ranboo and Niki were ferried to the shore in a sputtering tangle of limbs.

“We win these!” Techno carried Phil back to dry land, the both of them whooping all the way.

Phil hopped down and retrieved the bucket Ranboo had discarded. Techno reached out a hand to help Niki to her feet. Ranboo laid sprawled out in the wet sand wearing a wide rueful smile.

“I surrender.”

“Yeah, you do!”

Niki tucked wet locks behind her ears and, alongside Techno, hauled Ranboo to their feet.

Phil propped his hands on his hips, squinting in the sunlight as he'd lost his sunhat at some point during the scuffle. “Well. I’m feeling peckish.”

Ranboo looked to Niki, hopeful. “Lunch?”

“Sure. I could eat.”

“We shall feast!” Techno scooped up both Niki and Ranboo, one over each shoulder, and hauled his laughing friends back to their camp.