Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter One: Hatred

Sam hated the idea of soulmates, had hated everything about them ever since he found out that was the reason why his body would randomly be laced with pain from invisible injuries that would cause him to blackout. Sam's issues with soulmates ran deep. He had many reasons for his hatred: being permanently shackled to a stranger; the randomness of it all; the idealism behind the whole thing; the universe dictating who he was meant to care for; and the overall lack of freedom. But the main problem Sam had with soulmates was the way they were connected. Soulmates are connected through pain: any physical pain that your soulmate experiences you feel doubly so.

Sam’s soulmate apparently had a knack for getting injured and he was so sick of being constantly on edge waiting for the moment where his body was surged with insurmountable pain. On the schoolyard he got teased relentlessly for it, called overdramatic by his teachers and parents, glass jaw, delicate or some variation of that by his peers. His only saving grace was his sister, she was the only one who believed he wasn’t acting this way for attention, or because he had a low pain tolerance, in fact because of his stupid soulmate he had a rather high tolerance for pain and as years went on Sam figured out different techniques to work through the pain and to stop blacking out from it.

Sam hoped to never meet his soulmate because if he did, he was fairly certain, he’d just punch them in the head as hard as possible and that would only end up worse for him. The odd thing was that it wasn’t a consistent barrage of pain, it was rather sporadic he could go months sometimes even years without feeling any of his soulmate’s pain and then be hit by three weeks straight of constant abuse.

Sam was a rather straight-laced man, but the barrage of pain sometimes made him desperate and one time he’d attempted to numb it with alcohol and narcotics both of which did nothing for him other than making him paranoid, hungry and sleepy but in too much pain to do anything about it.

He never dared try anything like that again and just submitted to the fact that a soulmate's pain was not something that could be numbed away; it was just something to be endured.

Before Sam found the military, he’d gone to college, and like most college students he was just a stupid kid who would occasionally do something reckless. Unfortunately, his reckless behaviour was on a whole other level. Sam was sick of the constant fear that any moment would be ruined by the pain pulsing throughout his body. He'd lost count of how many events and celebrations he'd ruined because of that pain. It wasn't fair. Nothing about soulmates was fair and Sam had had enough. He shouldn't have to be constantly on edge; endlessly being tortured by his soulmate. He'd done nothing to deserve it.

One reckless night, Sam had reached his breaking point, and decided it was finally time to teach his soulmate a lesson; show them how it felt to get hit by a sudden onslaught of unbearable pain.

It was lucky he had a roommate in the college dorm, because he’d cut the blade too deep into his skin, passed out from the pain and almost bled out. If his roommate hadn’t found him and gotten him to a hospital, chances are he wouldn’t survive long enough to feel smug about finally causing his soulmate a fraction of the pain that got inflicted on him his entire life. After that little incident, someone other than his sister, finally took notice of Sam and the pain he'd been dealing with his whole life. His parents no longer brushed it off as an inconvience or Sam being overdramatic. Unfortunately they took it all too seriously and Sam was sent to a therapist to get counselling.

“How many sessions has it been now?” asked Sam's therapist.

Sam rolled his eyes annoyed, “Like you don’t already know the answer to that.”

“Answer the question Sam.”

“Six alright?” said Sam begrudgingly.

“Yes, exactly and in all that time you still refuse to talk about your suicide attempt.”

Sam breathed harshly through his nostrils.

“I know this may be an uncomfortable topic but this is a safe space Sam, there is no judgement here. I think it would do you a world of good to confront the events of that night and what led to your suicide attempt.”

“It wasn’t a suicide attempt! It was payback!” shouted Sam in frustration.

“Payback for what?”

“Oh, you’re good doc, trying to goad me into opening up to you but it isn’t going to work, you wouldn’t understand no one could ever possibly understand!”

“I am a seasoned therapist specializing in trauma, I can assure you that I can understand and comprehend much more than you think.”

“I think this might be even outside your wheelhouse.”

“Try me,” goaded the therapist their eyes glistening in challenge.

Sam huffed he hated it here, hated his therapist, hated his soulmate, hated pretty much everything at this moment.

“You have a lot of anger in you Sam,” said the therapist after a few minutes of silence, did Sam mention that he hated his therapist. The therapist his parents made him go see after they thought he attempted to commit suicide. His parents that was another thing to add to the list of things he hated. If he had to rank the list it would be soulmate, therapist, parents, this place and then everything else.

“You’d be angry too if you were me.”

“What exactly do you have to be angry about?”

Sam nodded in the therapist’s direction.

This only seemed to amuse the therapist, “Aside from me, your anger didn’t start here you’ve been angry much longer, I can tell your anger runs deep years of it, over a decade’s worth perhaps, so much so that it’s at risk of becoming the bedrock of your personality.”

“I got shafted in the soulmate department,” admitted Sam begrudgingly.

The therapist’s eyes widened in surprise, clearly not the explanation they’d been expecting but other than that they gave no indication of surprise, their demeanor as calm as ever, “An unfaithful soulmate?” prodded the therapist.

“Who the hell knows, I certainly hope to never meet them.”

“Are your parents soulmates?”

“What?” asked Sam startled by the question.

“It’s a simple enough question, are your parents soulmates? Yes or no?”

“Yes, so what?” spat out Sam bitterly.

“Interesting.”

“Is that so?” asked Sam annoyed.

“Typically, children with parents who aren’t soulmates are adverse about the whole idea of soulmates, I’m trying to determine how deep your resentment of soulmates runs, if it’s an ingrained feeling.”

“My parents have nothing to do with my hatred of my soulmate.”

“How do you hate someone you’ve never met?”

“Same way I know I hate Stalin and Hitler.”

“Comparing your soulmate to them seems a bit extreme and while you’ve never met those men you’ve learned of their actions and know the sort of monsters they were. How do they compare to your soulmate who you know nothing about?”

“I do know something though; they’ve caused me nothing but pain for my entire life.”

“Ah the soulmate connection, why we are linked through pain is still a mystery our greatest scientists have yet to unlock.”

“And why the pain is double what the person experiencing it feels.”

“Yes, the doubling affect, most philosophers theorize that it’s to make us more sympathetic to our soulmate’s pain.”

Sam gave a derivative snort.

“You disagree?”

Sam didn’t bother answering the question, what with the answer being so obvious, so the therapist tried another tactic, “the night of your suicide attempt, you weren’t actually trying to commit suicide.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying for the past SIX sessions!” complained Sam.

“You were trying to hurt your soulmate.”

“It was payback for all the pain they’ve cause me over the years, what I did wasn’t even a fraction of what they’d made me endure!”

“Sam,” said the therapist in a calming voice, “have you ever considered why your soulmate has given you so much physical pain, what they must be experiencing. You just have the echo; you don’t know the context. It is very possible that their pain is outside of their control.”

Sam faltered, all this time he’d been mad at his soulmate for causing him relentless pain he’d never considered the why or the fact that maybe they hadn’t been doing it on purpose. He felt sick to his stomach.

“It is an unfortunate reality but abuse especially child abuse is not unheard of.”

“Oh god,” said Sam putting his hands over his mouth, all this time he’d been hating his soulmate blaming all of the pain they’d inflicted on them, never stopping to consider what traumatizing events had to have occurred to cause such a thing never thinking of what they must be enduring while he suffered with no context, “And I just added right onto their pain and abuse,” said Sam breaking down, tears relentlessly running down his face, feeling like an absolute monster. All this time he thought he’d been suffering alone, and he’d lashed out and hurt the one person who could understand, who was enduring firsthand all these blows and yet still having the strength to survive another day, not giving in like Sam had tried to.

Chapter Text

Chapter Two: Regret

It was a good thing that emotional pain was not transmitted through the soulmate bond because Sam was an emotional mess. Now that he knew the truth he couldn't stand the thought of making them endure more pain. He had so much regret and guilt for his actions and the dark hateful thoughts that had led to that fateful evening where he'd purposely injured himself to get back at them. He'd harbored those dark thoughts for so long now, he didn't know how to handle it knowing he'd been wrong his entire life.

Sam felt completely horrible and ruined. He'd purposely hurt his soulmate; he could never take that back. All the hatred Sam had for his soulmate bounced back onto himself. He hated himself for hating his soulmate and blaming all the pain on them, he should've known better than to blame the victim, that wasn’t who he was.

He’d been a confused kid who was hurting in indescribable ways, but he shouldn’t have lashed out at the one who had it worse. Even if his soulmate never found out how much Sam hated them for the majority of his life, it didn't change the past and Sam still felt incredibly guilty. A pain akin to an electric shock shook through his body burning him up on the inside. Sam gritted his teeth enduring this pain feeling like it was a well-deserved punishment for all that he’d done.

Tears slid down Sam's face knowing there was nothing he could do to stop his soulmate's torture.

Months went by then years before he was hit with another round of pain, he’d grown complacent and maybe a bit optimistic in thinking that his soulmate must’ve found a way to escape their abuser.

Sam had been out on a date when the pain lashed throughout his body, his insides burning from what felt like a broken rib or two. He tried to explain that the pain he was feeling was coming from his soulmate being injured but apparently telling a cute girl that your soulmate was hurt was more of a mood killer than just randomly doubling over on the sidewalk in agony.

He never saw her again, which made sense, a lot of people who went out on dates were hoping to meet their soulmate. However, that did lead to the awkward trend of people secretly injuring themselves with a fork under the table, car keys or whatever was nearest in attempts to see if their date reacted to the pain. Most times than not they didn’t, and there were several PSAs cautioning against injuring yourself in an attempt to find your soulmate, not that people listened.

He wondered vaguely if his soulmate was like that, but no he would’ve felt that. That sort of pain would be a relief to Sam, and he seriously doubted his soulmate would ask their dates to break their bones in an attempt to determine whether or not they had a soulmate connection. The thought vaguely amused him until he realized how morbid and inappropriate a thought that was. Especially considering the pain he was currently in which meant his soulmate was facing a similar thing only worse possibly still in the same room as their abuser. That thought made Sam see red, if he ever found out who was doing this to his soulmate well, they’d best pray Sam never find them.

In the middle of the street Sam broke down crying, not because of the pain, at least not directly but because of what it meant. His soulmate was suffering and there was nothing he could do to make it stop or make it better. All he’d ever done was make it worse. He wished it wasn’t just pain they could share he wanted to send warm vibes or some sense of comfort so they would know they weren’t alone that Sam was there for them. He cried harder wishing the world weren’t so cruel. He’d spent so long hating his soulmate when he should’ve been trying to find them to think of a way to help.

There wasn’t much he could do for his soulmate, other than try not to get hurt so instead he focused on helping others in hopes of making the world better and maybe by chance some of that positivity would find its way back to his soulmate. He worked with his sister Sarah, and they would volunteer around their community providing food for the homeless and running charity drives. This newfound passion of helping people led him to the military and he eventually created a support group for veterans helping to reassociate into civilian life.

Life had pretty much gotten peaceful and simple again a life full of routines and monotony. Years passed by like this, it was a good peaceful life, albeit a bit boring at times but as long as he wasn't feeling any phantom pain from his soulmate, he was good. There would be the occasional twinge of pain here and there every so often, but it dulled down to the point where Sam had disillusioned himself into believing the worst of it was over for his soulmate.

That theory came crumbling down around the time he met Steve Rogers, who was better known as Captain America. Initially Sam didn't think anything of the timing, but hindsight would always be twenty-twenty, and he should've pieced together why the random bursts of pain increased their frequency around the same time Steve showed up and turned Sam's world upside down.

From the moment Sam met Steve, everything changed and the illusion of his peaceful life as a retired veteran shattered. Sam's life quickly turned into a swirling vortex of chaos and entropy.

To top it all off, his soulmate, who had been relatively calm in the pain department had decided to get hit by a battering ram while he was in the middle of a fight against the Winter Soldier, talk about bad timing. Not that Sam could really blame his soulmate, he still would’ve preferred a better time one where the distraction didn’t cause him to get nearly clipped by a motorcycle that had been tossed in the air like a football.

Sam needed to be focused but every time pain lashed through his body, all the emotions for his soulmate bubbled to the surface: the regret, the sorrow, feeling utterly helpless and incapable of protecting them from their torment. Nothing he could do would ever ease their pain, all Sam had ever done was add to it.

Natasha managed to put the Winter Soldier in a headlock and suddenly Sam couldn’t breathe.

He didn’t know what was going on with his soulmate, but it was now causing him to be a major liability, and he couldn’t have that. All his techniques for powering through the pain felt useless as the air felt sucked from his lungs. Steve finally noticed that something was majorly wrong with Sam and ran over to where Sam had landed.

As soon as the air had escaped his lungs, Sam knew something was terribly wrong. He immediately headed to the ground in case he blacked out from the lack of oxygen; a crash landing would do neither Sam nor his soulmate any favours.

Steve was looking over Sam with concern, trying to determine what happened to Sam and how he could fix it. Sam tried his best to wave him off, not wanting to be a liability, but Steve's loyalty would have none of that. Sam tried to convey that there was nothing Steve could do, that it was just his soulmate connection. However, it was a difficult message to convey, especially since Sam still couldn't breathe. There was nothing to be done, ironically enough the only one who could help was his soulmate's tormentor.

"Feel free to join in the fight anytime now!" complained Natasha struggling against the Winter Soldier, she still had him in a headlock, but she was struggling to keep him there. She glanced up to see why Steve and Sam had bowed out of the fight; seeing Sam struggling to breathe for no obvious reason, startled Natasha just enough for the Winter Soldier to take advantage. He managed to break free of Natasha's hold shoving her to the ground in the process. Just as suddenly, Sam could breathe again.

He gasped in relief thankful for multiple reasons: one that he could breathe again and two and probably more importantly his soulmate was able to breathe again too. He had done some research in his earlier days, and he knew all about what it felt like when the soulmate bond was severed usually due to death. It hadn’t felt like that, so they must still be alive. Sam was thanking every deity he could think of that this hadn’t been the end. He wished any of the gods would listen and help his soulmate escape all of this suffering.

Fate was cruel though and just as Sam was catching his breath he got slammed in the side by an invisible force. Steve looked at Sam in shock startled as to why Sam was suddenly wincing, he tried to wave it off tell him he’d be fine. He didn’t want to draw attention to it.

Steve and Natasha were one of the few people who hadn’t known about the violent life his soulmate led, and he was hoping to keep it that way. Sam didn’t want to face either their criticism, sympathy, or worse pity, when they found out all he’d had to endure his entire life. They'd look at him differently, there was no way they couldn't. Sam didn't want that, he just wanted them to see him as Sam and not glass-jaw, or fragile, or think he got shafted in the soulmate department. Once they found out all he'd endured they'd label him a victim or overly dramatic, either way he'd be boxed into a label, and they'd no longer see him as Sam.

So, Sam did what he always did, he pushed through the pain, pretended it didn’t matter and later when he was alone, he could breakdown and cry for his soulmate. He’d been doing this often enough that he had gotten pretty good at compartmentalizing.

Sam gritted his teeth fought through the pain and got to his feet Steve leveraging him into a more vertical position before they took off running to help Natasha who was holding her own pretty well. Sam flew up in the air and dive bombed the Winter Soldier managing to slam him into a nearby truck right before his back flared up in pain. Sam pushed through, especially since the Winter Soldier was already up acting as if he’d just fallen down. Sam managed to kick him square in the chest with his boots the force of which sent them both flying backwards and Sam felt like he’d gotten the wind knocked out of him.

The Winter Soldier was up again luckily Steve and Natasha were there to intercept. Sam kept being restrained by the pain from his soulmate. Whatever was going on with them was bad.

As if sensing Sam were the weakest of the pack the Winter Soldier lunged for him managed to grab onto his shoulders and bring him back down to the earth. Sam let out a groan of pain and just barely noticed the Winter Soldier wince back some pain, the only reason Sam could spot it was because he’d been doing the exact same thing for the majority of his life.

It wasn’t until the third or fourth blow he’d taken from the Winter Soldier, that Sam started to clue in that something was seriously wrong, every hit Sam had taken the Winter Soldier had winced back a flare of pain. Something he didn’t even do when Steve or Natasha hit him and certainly not when he hit them. Sam scrambled to his feet still trying to piece together what was going on, unfortunately during a battle there wasn’t a whole lot of time to do such a thing. The Winter Soldier went in for a body slam against Natasha and Sam stepped in the way taking the full brunt of the force. Natasha looked at Sam like he was crazy as he toppled to the ground in pain but then the Winter Soldier faltered back a few steps unable to hide the pained expression on his face.

“How’d you do that?” asked Natasha startled as she helped Sam to his feet.

“No idea,” fibbed Sam too scared to even internalize his suspicions. As the fight progressed onwards Sam could no longer deny his suspicions, and he realized the truth of the situation. He punched the Winter Soldier as hard as he could, and the pain doubled back on himself. He cursed loudly.

“Language,” admonished Steve at the same time as Natasha asked, “You alright?”

If he were being honest not in the slightest was what he would tell Natasha, but he couldn’t let his emotions and this horrifying potential revelation distract him from the battle. He gave them both a nod of encouragement and they both turned their focus to the Winter Soldier.

Panting Sam decided he was actually no better than those people who purposely injured themselves to determine whether or not their date was their soulmate. He waited until Natasha and Steve were both looking elsewhere before he grabbed a stray knife off the ground and did the one thing he’d promised never to do again. He cut a deep line in his forearm, not nearly as bad as when he’d done it the first time but enough that it definitely hurt. He gritted through his teeth and focused on the expression of the Winter Soldier. Sam’s heart dropped and he let the knife fall from his hand as the Winter Soldier winced in pain and looked to his arm startled.

Well, that was just perfect, maybe he had been right to hate his soulmate all along. Sam was basically useless the rest of the fight, too startled and in utter disbelief at the hand fate had dealt him. All this time he’d been so desperately worried about his soulmate, hoping beyond hope that they could escape their abuser when it turned out they were the abuser all along. His soulmate was an assassin, and all of those random bursts of pain were from his victims desperately trying to survive and failing. It made him sick, what did it say about him that his soulmate was an assassin? Was it a cruel twist of fate or a sign that he wasn’t the hero he thought he was; that all his work in the community and now for the avengers was just a sham: a highpoint before he fell from grace and became just like the Winter Soldier, just like his soulmate.

Sam didn’t think much of anything else could shock him at this point but he was proven wrong when Steve unmasked the Winter Soldier and discovered it was his childhood best friend who had been presumed dead decades ago, not long before Steve had been put on ice.

James Buchannon Barnes or as Steve referred to him Bucky.

The fact that Bucky had fought alongside Captain America long ago, been his best friend and then fell so far from grace didn’t bode well for Sam, he could see the parallels now.

Fate was cruel, and the universe was laughing at him. Sam tried to do better, be better, tried to push away all the anger for the sake of a soulmate who he had thought was an innocent, living a hard miserable life through no fault of their own. Sam had dreamt of one day becoming the person they needed to rescue them from their miserable life. It had been a disillusion and now Sam didn’t know what to think.

Everyone always said when you discovered who your soulmate was it was like all the pieces of the puzzle coming together in this euphoric moment, an instant connection that let you know you were no longer alone in the world and somehow everything would be alright. That was how it had been for his parents, that was how it had been for Sarah so why didn’t he get that? Why was his soulmate an assassin from the forties who wouldn’t bat an eye at the fact that for Sam’s entire life they’d been causing him nothing but pain. It didn’t seem fair, it wasn’t fair, but there also wasn’t anything Sam could do about it.

Chapter Text

Chapter Three: Revulsion

Life wasn’t fair, Sam knew and accepted it long ago, but this was straight up cruelty. Having the Winter Soldier, formerly James Buchannon Barnes, as his soulmate seemed like a cruel cosmic joke that had gone way too far. Sam’s mind was reeling, and he didn’t know how to process any of this information.

It didn't help that things just kept happening, leaving Sam little to no time for self-reflection. The Winter Soldier, Bucky, Sam's soulmate, got away; Natasha got shot; they were captured by S.H.E.I.L.D. or was it H.Y.D.R.A. now? and then just as suddenly they were rescued by Maria and being taken to another secret hide-out. It was a lot to process, it would've been a lot without the soulmate factor that was currently messing with Sam's mind.

Sam was out of his depth, and he questioned his sanity in coming here, following Captain America into battle. Truthfully though, Captain America wasn't why Sam came out of retirement, it was Steve himself, not the title. Sam knew the sort of man Steve was, he trusted Steve and his judgement, that Steve was doing the right thing, so of course when he needed help Sam stepped up.

A stray thought wandered across Sam's mind: was this how it had started for Bucky? Unwavering faith in Steve, not the title, just how similar a path was Sam walking when compared to his soulmate? And ultimately what did it mean that so many things seemed to parallel? Was Sam one bad decision away from turning into another Winter Soldier?

Those questions scared Sam, he wished he was the sort of person who could sit back and let things happen, maybe then he wouldn't have felt the need to follow Steve. Maybe then he could keep pretending his soulmate was innocent.

The entire ride over to the secret hide-out Maria led them to, was full of silence: Sam was too busy thinking about his soulmate to make much conversation; Steve was too stunned by the reveal of the Winter Soldier's identity; and Natasha, well she was never one for idle chit-chat and Sam theorized she was too busy planning their next move to make conversation.

Maria showed them their accommodations, Sam was keeping a keen eye out for a bed or cot or someplace where he could hide from the rest of the world while his entire universe collapsed around him. Everything he'd thought he'd known about soulmates had been wrong... again.

Sam really wished soulmates weren't a thing, or if they had to be thing, he wished his story followed a more traditional path, like his sister, his parents and everyone else in his entire family. It wasn't fair that he'd gotten singled out and paired with an awful soulmate who made a living from hurting people.

He wasn't sure how he was meant to cope with this. He kept thinking about the similarities in his and Bucky's origin stories and perhaps they were paired because history was always doomed to repeat itself, and eventually Sam would do something, become something/someone undeserving of a soulmate. His fall from grace pre-determined.

Before Sam got a chance to crash in his room and potentially never come out, Natasha pulled him aside, dead set on a confrontation.

Sam tried to side-step the topic brush it off as nothing but Natasha wouldn't take no as an answer, she was determined to get to the bottom of Sam's peculiar and downright dangerous behaviour during the fight with the Winter Soldier. Sam couldn't blame her, he'd want to know if the situation was reversed, it was just... he was still processing everything and all the implications, he didn't know how he'd even start to explain this to someone else. Still, Natasha wouldn't let it go despite Sam insisting he really didn't want to talk about it. In fact, it seemed like the more he attempted to deflect the harder she pushed for the truth.

Since deflecting wasn't working, Sam debated coming up with a lie, one to explain away his actions without revealing his connection to the Winter Soldier. He could probably think of a fib, whether or not it would be believable was debatable, but she couldn't force the horrible truth out of him. However, everything was a swirling vortex of chaos perhaps talking it out might help Sam process how messed up everything had gotten. Sam ran a hand through his hair and let out a deep-seeded sigh. He hated lying anyways.

“You know you’re annoyingly persistent, anyone tell you that?”

“Yes, it’s one of my many charms,” smirked Natasha.

“Look, I really don’t want to talk about it,” pre-faced Sam.

“You hesitated, you do that again in the field and it could cost you your life or one of ours,” explained Natasha not bothering to sugar-coat the truth that both of them had already known. Sam's erratic behaviour out there had been dangerous and not just for Sam, but it wasn't like Sam had planned on the person they were fighting to be his injury-prone soulmate.

“I’m sorry, I truly am.”

“I don’t want your apologies, Steve said you used to be military run ops in high pressure situations all the time. You should be well trained to keep a level head.”

“I am well trained,” said Sam not liking her tone.

“Then what happened out there and don’t say nothing because I can tell when someone’s lying.”

“It’s complicated.”

“I’m smart I assure you I can follow along no issues.”

“You’re not going to let this drop, are you?”

“You know I can’t.”

Sam sighed unsure as to why he was confiding in her, but he needed someone with a level-head and an outsider’s perspective right now to sort through all this mess. It couldn’t be Steve who was still reeling at the discovery of the Winter Soldier’s true identity, and he was definitely not level-headed enough at the moment to sort it out by himself so by default that left Natasha.

“I discovered something disturbing during the fight,” said Sam his voice shaking slightly and arm trembling as he lifted it upwards and showed off the line he’d dug in deep that confirmed his worst nightmares. It had stopped bleeding, but it had been a rush job so was jagged and looked more like Sam had attempted to take a hatchet to his arm.

Natasha made a face at his arm, “That looks bad, did the Winter Soldier give that to you?”

“No, I gave it to me.”

She looked at him curiously, “Do Steve and I need to be worried about your mental health?”

“Maybe but not for the reasons you’re thinking, I did this to prove my theory, remember how when I took the full brunt of the Winter Soldier's attack and he was the one who stumbled backwards?”

“Yeah?” she said eyes travelling across his face and features analyzing him.

“Every time I got injured during the fight the Winter Soldier would wince in pain like he was feeling it too and whenever I hit him the pain bounced back right onto me.”

“How is that possible? That sort of behaviour has only been seen in- oh…” she trailed off in surprise.

“Yeah, oh pretty much sums up my reaction too. It’s not everyday you learn that your soulmate is a ruthless assassin.”

“I’m guessing that’s not what you had pictured when you thought about who your soulmate was.”

Sam let out a little chuckle, “Yeah not at all, pretty much polar opposite.”

“You know with all the flirting you’ve done with me I got to say I’m more surprised about your soulmate’s gender than the fact that he’s an assassin.”

“Yeah, that surprised me too… I mean I always thought maybe I was gay or at least a little bi but I grew up in a small town in the South, add on top the fact that I’m Black… well it was just easier to push all those feelings aside. I had enough going on, especially since my whole life I’d get random bursts of intense pain from my soulmate so bad that I used to black out, got teased relentlessly for that. I thought it best to attempt to blend in. I’d always wondered what was possibly going on with my soulmate to get beat up this badly so consistently. I got to say though… this wasn’t at all what I was expecting.”

“Let me guess you were expecting some damsel in distress and one day you’d fly in and rescue her?”

“Well, yeah, pretty much.”

Natasha chuckled, “Steve knew him before all this Winter Soldier stuff, he said he was a good man.”

“That’s what makes it worse, I feel like he’s my future like I’m on the path to becoming him: friends with Cap, military man, considered honorable, loyal and courageous, would follow and fight alongside Captain America anywhere, anytime, all that’s missing is that fall from grace.”

“Could be, but speaking as a former assassin, I don’t think you have it in you. You don’t have the stomach for that sort of business your moral compass is pointing due north just like Steve’s.”

“I’m no boy scout.”

“Eagle scout then?”

“Cus of the wings?” he said unimpressed.

Natasha shrugged with a smile, “Maybe you’re meant to rescue him. Steve still thinks there’s good in him, maybe his soulmate could help guide him back to the light?”

"Or maybe I'm the only person that can stop him. Hurting me, hurts him, I'm what makes him vulnerable, we could use that to put him down for good."

"That's a dark take on soulmates," admitted Natasha, "We don't know for sure that he can't be saved, I was pretty far gone when Clint found me. Steve thinks we can get through to him."

"Steve sees the good in everyone, he's an idealist, in case you haven't noticed. I'm a realist and realistically, there's a very good chance he's beyond saving."

"This was only the first battle, but... I do see your point, some people... not everyone can be saved," agreed Natasha seeming almost lost in the past.

Sam sighed, he really wished none of this was happening, he wished he was blissfully ignorant of his soulmate's identity, that he could still view them as someone worth saving. Unfortunately, Sam was a realist and realistically, his soulmate had to be stopped, one way or another.

“So, are you going to tell Steve?” prodded Natasha.

“I can’t, he’s still processing the fact that his best friend who he thought died seventy years ago is now alive and an assassin. I can’t go in there and lay claim on him because fate said so, that’s not right, this isn’t his burden it’s mine.”

“Steve would probably be more understanding than you think."

Sam sighed, “I will tell him just not now, I’m still trying to figure out what this all means.”

“It’s your call to make.”

“Thanks,” said Sam genuinely appreciating Natasha for her discretion.

Sam needed time and space to think, to clear his head. His whole view on soulmates had been shifted once more and Sam needed time to process what that really meant. He went to get some fresh air, hoping that might help sort things for him, unfortunately, he wasn't the only one who had that thought.

By the time Sam had decided to go out and clear his head, Steve had already beaten Sam to the punch. Seeing how forlorn Steve was, as he just stared out at the horizon with glassy eyes trapped in memories from long ago, made Sam feel guilty.

Sam had only been thinking of himself and the inevitability of his future, meanwhile Steve was suffering now, knowing his childhood best friend was not only alive but an assassin. Steve had known Bucky, really known him before fate had run them through the ringer. Sam only felt the echoes of Bucky's life, he didn't know the man behind the assassin and the pain. In a way what Sam was going through was easier than Steve. Sam had long ago given up hope at having a traditional soulmate, his views on them tainted from a young age, but Steve he now had to face a reality where his best friend was capable of monstrous acts.

"You doing okay?" asked Sam.

Steve looked down before turning towards Sam, "Would you believe me if I said yes?"

"I get it, it's a lot."

"Bit of an understatement, but yeah..." Steve turned away and leaned against the railing, "I thought he died seventy years ago and while it tore me up inside, I'd made my peace with it. He'd died well, trying to save people, it's how I'd wanted to go... but now-"

"Sort of feels like your whole world's been flipped upside down," sympathized Sam.

"Well put."

"It's tough, that shift in perspective: to view someone one way for so long and then to suddenly have it all contradicted and you no longer know how you're supposed to feel about them, if you're even allowed to mourn the person they never were."

"You sound as though you're talking from experience," probed Steve.

Sam sighed, "a bit, I've just... I've had my fair share of disappointments is all."

"I'm sorry," sympathized Steve.

Sam shrugged it off, "I made my peace with it long ago, I've accepted that they're never going to be who I wanted them to be."

"The thing about Bucky, is that he was exactly who I thought him to be, we've been friends our entire lives, I practically lived at his house, his sisters were basically my sisters, we've always had each other's backs."

"Look, I don't say this lightly and I know I didn't actually know him, but whoever he used to be and the guy he is now, I don't think he's the kind you save. He's the kind you stop."

"I don't think I can do that."

"I get that this is tough, believe me, but he might not give you a choice, he doesn't know you."

"He will."

Sam sighed, he wished he'd had Steve's determination or was it just naivety masked as loyalty to a friend who had been long dead if not in body, then mind. Sam wasn't so easily convinced that Bucky could be saved that there was even an ounce of the Bucky Steve had known left. Steve didn't know what Bucky had done, and while Sam didn't have the specifics, he had the echoes and if the echoes were anything to go by then Bucky had been leading a violent seventy years and even if it hadn't been of his own volition being a passenger watching all those atrocities being committed by your hand was enough to warp even the strongest of minds.

Sam had thought he'd gotten used to the pain, especially after their last encounter with the Winter Soldier but he'd been mistaken. The Winter Soldier was an unstoppable force. The only time Sam saw Bucky wince back pain was when he was attacking Sam. Sam wondered if he'd made the connection yet. It had seemed fairly obvious to Sam, but no one knew what the brainwashing had done to Bucky's cognitive abilities, perhaps he was just always on attack mode, a mindless violent droid.

A part of Sam wondered, if the Winter Soldier knew and was ramping up the pain factor, knowing they'd be able to endure it longer than Sam could. Sam wouldn't put it passed him, the Winter Soldier was a ruthless killer.

It was taking all of Sam's willpower to not black out, apparently the Winter Soldier had no regards for his own safety and just kept ramming into stuff. All the random bursts of pain throughout Sam's life was starting to make a lot more sense as he got a feel for how the Winter Soldier fought.

Sam was determined not to be a liability, this time. Despite his disadvantage, Sam powered through the pain. People were depending on him, he wouldn't let them down. He was good at enduring pain, that had been his entire childhood and despite wishing he could just black out and wake up when the battle was over, he knew he couldn't do that. He would endure because no other option was acceptable.

Sam was on the ground when Steve fell from a fiery blaze all the way down deep into the water clearly unconscious. Sam's heart lurched in his throat as he calculated the odds of him reaching Steve before he sunk to the bottom or his super soldier lungs gave out. Before Sam could react, another figure was dropping from the sky, diving down in perfect form. Sam didn't even need the sting of the water slamming against him to know that it had been the Winter Soldier, or... was it Bucky? Sam pondered as he saw the Winter Soldier pull Steve to the surface and head for shore.

The Winter Soldier, assassin, killing machine, bane of Sam's existence... he was saving Steve.

Sam couldn't believe it, Steve had been right, somehow, someway Steve had gotten through to Bucky, maybe not all of him but enough to know not to let Steve die.

Sam watched on in shock as Bucky brought Steve to shore.

As they neared the shore Sam's sense kicked in and he moved closer to where Bucky was headed in case Steve needed assistance. He was just short of intercepting them as they both made it onto land, Bucky not so gently dropping Steve onto the shore. Bucky stared down at Steve, a confused expression on his face as if trying to remember something yet coming up short.

Bucky glanced upwards and his eyes connected with Sam's. Sam sucked in a breath he hadn't realized what a brilliant blue they were, the intensity of his stare, was bordering on too much and Sam was at a loss for what to do next.

"I don't know you," stated Bucky his voice sounded far away like he was lost and looking for assurance.

"No, you don't," confirmed Sam unable to take his eyes off of Bucky, this was the first almost conversation he'd had with his soulmate, every word felt charged with electricity and Sam didn't know how to resolve this Bucky with all the different versions he'd known over the years, the one he hated for the pain, the one he regretted hurting, the innocent victim, the ruthless assassin. Bucky, in this moment was none of those, or perhaps all wrapped up in a confusing package whose sudden burst of humanity had startled Sam.

Bucky looked down at Steve as if trying to place who he was and why he'd gone against his programming to save him.

"And him?" voiced Bucky glancing up at Sam again while referring to Steve.

"He's the best damn friend you'll ever have."

Bucky nodded his head, looking between Sam and Steve once more before turning on his heel and heading away from them. Sam could've stopped him, probably should have but everything about the moment felt all too surreal. He couldn't help but feel like this was some weird hallucination or dream, imagining a world where his soulmate had empathy and cared more about people than killing them.

Steve started sputtering and spitting out water, coming back to consciousness. Sam broke out of his trance-like state and immediately went to Steve's side to ensure he was fine.

Steve let out a groan, "ugh, what happened?"

"He saved you," said Sam not quite believing his words himself.

"Who?"

Sam looked up to indicate it was Bucky but when he went to find him, he'd already disappeared into the shadows.

So, in the end, it turned out that Steve had been right, or at least partially right. Bucky still existed underneath the Winter Soldier, at least just enough to save Steve from drowning. Sam wasn't quite ready to believe that he was fully back and putting his Winter Soldier days behind him. Still, seeing Steve so hopeful, lit a spark in Sam. Steve believed Bucky could be saved, Sam wasn't so certain, but he knew he'd regret it if he didn't try.

Perhaps Natasha had it right from the beginning and that Sam wasn't meant to follow the dark path of Bucky's life but to help bring him back to himself, to the person he'd always been meant to be. Sam did like helping people, maybe that was why the universe paired them together. Sam could accept that reason.

"That thing you asked for, I called in a few favours from Kiev," explained Natasha handing over a large manila folder to Steve.

"Thanks," replied Steve accepting the folder.

"Don't thank me yet, I'm not sure I've done you guys any favours," admitted Natasha referring to the folder.

"Still, we appreciate the effort," said Sam.

"Be careful," cautioned Natasha, "I don't suppose there's any use in me saying that this is a thread you might not want to pull?"

Natasha was mainly looking at Sam giving him a knowing look before she turned on her heel and left the two of them to it.

Steve opened the manilla folder revealing pictures of his lost friend, Bucky. Sam glanced at the folder contents over Steve's shoulder, it was a detailed explanation of what Bucky had endured, it was hard to look at.

"You're going after him," observed Sam.

"You don't have to come with me," responded Steve.

"I know," agreed Sam, "when do we start?"

Chapter Text

Chapter Four: Civil

The search for Bucky was a long and complicated one, they had gotten close on several occasions, a person matching Bucky's description having only just left the area days sometimes only hours ahead of them. It was disappointing always being one step behind the super-soldier but at least they weren't following a trail of bodies like Sam had feared after he'd initially let Bucky go.

Sam still wasn't sure what had compelled him to let Bucky go, why he felt it the right thing to do, he'd just looked into Bucky's eyes and knew he had to let him go.

Sam didn't tell Steve that he was the reason Bucky got away, it would only raise questions that Sam would rather not answer. He still hadn't told Steve about his connection with Bucky. It never felt like the right time, there was always something else going on, a big more important problem, or at least that's how Sam justified his silence.

Besides it felt weird laying claim on Steve's best friend. Steve would often tell stories of their youth, it was hard to reconcile that with the soulmate who'd been torturing Sam with all the pain he'd made Sam endure over the years. It didn't feel like the same person, so much time had passed between the man Steve knew and had been friends with and the tortured soul who'd tormented Sam with their soulmate bond.

Sam had thought about telling Steve, a few times he'd even convinced himself that today was the day but every time he chickened out and only hedge around the subject never fully committing to the intense would be conversation.

A part of Sam felt guilty for not telling Steve, there'd been several nights where Steve looked up to the sky lost in thought and would voice concern for his long-lost friend, hoping that he was okay, that H.Y.D.R.A. hadn't gotten him back. In those moments, Sam wished he'd told Steve so then he could assure him that he hadn't felt anything to suggest that Bucky had been captured anywhere. Sam still felt the occasional twinge, but nothing as bad as when Bucky was in Winter Soldier mode.

A year passed by of them fruitlessly searching, then another, Sam was beginning to wonder if they'd ever catch up to Bucky, then Germany happened.

A lot of things happened in Germany and right up until the chase and fight to bring Bucky into custody Sam had almost forgotten how painful it was being Bucky's soulmate. He'd gotten complacent, since Bucky had been trying to blend in and piece together his past. Now Sam had to grit through his teeth during the entire chase so as not to be a liability.

Sam figured things would die down once Bucky was in custody but apparently fate had other plans.

Sam, Steve and Sharon were discussing how peculiar everything was and that it felt a little too suspicious when power was suddenly lost in the facility. A sudden burst of pain slammed into Sam's wrist.

"Bucky," whispered Sam to himself glancing at his wrist.

Both Sharon and Steve turned to look at Sam, curious expressions on their faces. It took Sam a moment to realize he'd vocalized his inner thought.

"Uh, Bucky we should get to Bucky, timing seems suspicious," commented Sam hoping he covered for his slip. Steve seemed to buy it, but Sharon was still looking at Sam oddly.

Steve glanced towards Sharon a questioning expression on his face.

"Sub-level five, East Wing," provided Sharon giving up Bucky's location without hesitation.

Steve and Sam raced through the facility, Sam's concern rising as he felt pain in his knuckles, like he'd been punching a solid steel wall. He knew the pain wasn't coming from him, but from Bucky. It was concerning, something was happening with Bucky and it wasn't good. The last he'd seen of Bucky he was locked up in a tight box, the more pain Sam felt the more worried he grew about what they were doing to him.

In hindsight, the location of the pain should've been an indicator that the pain Sam was feeling was not because of someone hurting Bucky but the Winter Soldier rising to the surface and breaking free of his cage.

"We need to hurry," said Sam feeling a more intense pain. They raced throughout the facility and really Sam should've been prepared for it, but he was still shocked to find all of the people laying on the ground, thankfully only unconscious.

Steve honed in on the only person who was still semi-conscious and before Sam could join them, Bucky- no not Bucky anymore- the Winter Soldier, went on the attack swinging like crazy. Sam managed to duck the first few punches before getting hit in the stomach with such a force he doubled over. Bucky didn't even have the decency to act like that had hurt him even though Sam knew he must be feeling double what Sam felt.

He didn't have long to contemplate it before Bucky grabbed his face and threw him to the ground. The pain from the landing and all of Bucky's injuries was too much and Sam ended up passing out from the pain of it all.

When Sam came to, only a couple of moments later, both the Winter Soldier and Steve were gone. Sam was still a little groggy and he honestly couldn't tell if the pain he was feeling was his own or his soulmate's. He slowly took in the scene in front of him and belatedly realized the man walking away from the scene was the same one Steve had been questioning right before Bucky came out of nowhere and began swinging at any and everything that came his way. Steve seemed to think this man knew more than he was letting on. Sam called out for him, but the man just ignored Sam and bee-lined to the exit.

That got Sam moving. Adrenaline coursed through Sam's veins, and he got to his feet quicker than usual and began racing after the man who he'd later learn had orchestrated this entire thing, Zemo.

Unfortunately, Zemo had too long of a lead and as Sam followed his trail out of the building, the crowd of people exiting and the chaos surrounding the power outage had worked to Zemo's advantage and Sam lost him in the crowd.

In consolation, Steve managed to capture Bucky with mainly just a helicopter as collateral damage. All-in-all things could be worse. They were currently holed up in a nearby empty, if not abandoned, warehouse, with a blacked-out Winter Solder whose arm they'd trapped under a hunk of metal to keep him restrained.

Now that Bucky was unconscious Sam was able to look at him, really look at him. Sam took the time to memorize Bucky's features, wondering why the universe thought this mess of a man was Sam's soulmate.

Sam had volunteered to watch over Bucky while he was unconscious so then he'd at least have an excuse for why he was staring at Bucky, his curiousity peaked, he'd never really gotten a good look at him, before, always too busy dodging his attacks to see much of anything.

Sam rubbed at his arm, in a failed attempt at alleviating the pain and glared at Bucky's metal arm, it seemed unfair that the soulmate bond counted Bucky's metal arm as part of Bucky's body and thus any pain to it bounced back on Sam.

The groaning sounds of Bucky slowly gaining consciousness broke Sam out of his revere. Sam stiffened as he focused his attention on Bucky, crossing his arms across his chest, and analyzing Bucky's features wondering if he needed to prepare for another fight with the Winter Soldier.

"Do you always look so tense?" complained Bucky.

"Only around you," retorted Sam stiffening even further.

"I know you," stated Bucky staring at Sam as if trying to place him, "there was... water?"

Sam faltered, recalling the moment Bucky was describing, the moment right after Bucky had saved Steve and Sam had let Bucky go, he still wasn't sure why he'd done that.

"I know you," reiterated Bucky, "why can't I remember your name?"

"It's Sam," he said tersely before turning on his heel and calling for Steve. Being alone with Bucky while he was Bucky was more intense than Sam had imagined it would be. He didn't know how to be or act around him, too many thoughts swirling around his head and Bucky just staring at him oblivious to it all.

"Hey, Cap!" called Sam indicating for Steve to come over. There could really only be one reason why Sam would call for Steve, so Steve came running, anxious to get some answers out of Bucky.

"Steve," greeted Bucky using his name in such a casual way as if years and alter egos hadn't parted them long ago.

"Which Bucky am I talking to?" asked Steve cautiously.

Bucky paused to contemplate for a moment before responding, "Your mom's name was Sarah. You used to wear newspapers in your shoes," chuckled Bucky at that last fact.

A Winter Soldier who chuckled was a lot to wrap Sam's mind around, it seemed entirely out of character from every other experience Sam had had with him.

"Can't read that in a museum," conceded Steve with a hint of a smile on his face. It seemed like Steve was ready to forget and forgive all that had happened, but Sam wasn't there yet. Truthfully, Sam didn't think he'd ever get there, he'd never experienced the good side of Bucky before and he worried this could be a trick or only a temporary moment of sanity before he turned back into the Winter Soldier again.

"Just like that, we're supposed to be cool?" complained Sam. Internally he knew he was being a tad harsh with all the suspicions, but his arm was still killing him and it had him in a fowl unforgiving mood, especially since the source of that pain was suddenly all buddy-buddy with Steve when less than an hour ago he'd been ruthlessly attacking them.

"What did I do?" asked Bucky, he at least sounded remorseful, reluctantly Sam had to give points for that.

"Enough," explained Steve not wanting to get into the nitty gritty details.

"Oh god, I knew this would happen. Everything H.Y.D.R.A. put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words."

After a bit of back-and-forth Bucky came out with the truth, that he wasn't the only Winter Soldier. The news kept getting worse they needed to stop Zemo before he unleashed an army of super soldiers on the world. The main issue, they were vastly outnumbered and technically outlaws on the run with no way of accessing their equipment.

Sam had a potential solution for the first part, mainly a nuisance who had the potential to be helpful if Sam could get in touch with him and call for reinforcements.

Steve actually ended up having the solution to the last bit about accessing their equipment, Sharon. Sharon who had proved herself way back when Bucky first made his reappearance to Steve, had come through for them again. She smuggled Steve's shield and Sam's wings out of the facility, risking not only her job but her entire future.

Sharon and Steve arranged to meet in a parking garage, which meant they needed a car. The car Steve had chosen while inconspicuous was a bit on the small side and the three of them were crammed inside it. Sam, at least managed to grab the front passenger seat and score some extra legroom, albeit there wasn't much extra.

"Can you move your seat up?" complained Bucky.

"No," said Sam firmly. Sam figured after all the pain and torment Bucky had put him through his entire life, Bucky could handle a bit of discomfort.

Of course, Bucky being the pain in the ass that he was just slid over to be behind Steve who was more than likely to move his seat forwards if Bucky requested it of him. Sam's opinion of Bucky was flip-flopping all over the place and it was irritating that Sam couldn't get a proper read on the guy. One moment Sam hated him, the next he felt sympathetic, then irritated and really a whole cyclone of emotions never quite knowing what to make of Bucky and his shifting personas.

"How long have you known, Steve?" prodded Bucky.

"What are we doing twenty questions now?" asked Sam settling on being irritated for the moment.

"Steve trusts you."

"As he should."

"How'd you guys meet?" enquired Bucky.

"What's with all the questions?" asked Sam.

"I just don't know if I should trust you," admitted Bucky.

"Guess we have that in common," revealed Sam.

It was all starting to come together, Steve and Sam managed to wrestle together a team, now all they needed to do was get on that chopper headed to Siberia and kick some super soldier ass. Sam was looking forward to that part, it could be a cathartic way to take out his aggression for the Winter Soldier without injuring himself in the process.

Of course, Sam should've known better than to be optimistic, they were going over the plan when the airport went into lockdown. It wasn't hard to guess who had called it in, there were only a few people Sam knew that had that power and one of them was dead set on capturing Bucky, refusing to listen to reason. Tony wouldn't make this easy.

They quickly had to formulate a new plan, the chopper was a no go, but Sam sent Red Wing out scouting for the Quinjet while everyone else set about executing the new plan. For some reason Steve suggested pairing Sam and Bucky up. It was probably because Sam was one of the few people Steve trusted with Bucky, to have Bucky's best interest in mind. It was an honour that Steve trusted Sam that much, especially knowing how much Bucky meant to Steve. Still, Sam wasn't happy with the decision.

Bucky was about the last person Sam wanted to pair off with, it wasn't just the personality clash, it was the soulmate bond as well. Sam had pretty much decided there was no way in Hell he was telling Bucky about their connection. Battling side by side would make it near impossible to hide, he'd definitely feel the phantom punches, and it wouldn't be hard to make the connection that the phantom pain matched the exact moments that Sam was injured.

Still there wasn't anything Sam could do about the arrangements, he couldn't exactly explain why he wanted to be apart from Bucky. Sam still hadn't found the right time to bring the soulmate bond up and at this point it just seemed like a secret he'd take to his grave. The only other person who knew was Natasha, but he trusted that she knew how to keep a secret.

Sam would just have to hide his pain whenever Bucky got hit, he'd been doing it long enough that it was almost a natural reflex.

While Sam had been prepared to fight the Avengers that had sided with Tony, Sam had not at all been prepared for a kid dressed in a red and blue onesie slinging webs at them.

"What the Hell is that?" asked Bucky as the kid in the red and blue onesie was crawling across the windows.

"Everyone's got a gimmick now," complained Sam as they both were running through the terminal.

The Spider-kid who Sam would later find out was actually called Spiderman, broke through the window and went on the attack slamming directly into Sam. He got lost in the fight, he barely had time to worry about the flare-up of pain Bucky must be feeling. He hoped if Bucky noticed he wouldn't make the connection that it had happened right as Sam got injured.

The kid while strong clearly hadn't been in many fights before and was way too chatty.

With Sam's Falcon Wings he was able to keep up with all the swinging and flinging around Spiderman was doing, up until he webbed one of Sam's engines and Sam came crashing to the ground. He quickly rose to his feet only to get webbed to the railing. Spiderman went on the attack again and to Sam's surprise Bucky attempted to intercept the blow, but with the momentum Spiderman had going, all that meant was both Sam and Bucky broke through the glass railing and crashed through to the level below them.

Sam couldn't help but think how stupid of a plan that had been, but at least now the double pain Bucky was feeling he'd probably just attribute to Spiderman being strong and the impact of the ground being hard.

Sam let out a grunt of pain, but for the most part, he'd endured much worse, and he wouldn't let this pain control him. Spiderman webbed them again while they were lying on the ground recovering from the double impact. Sam had, had just about enough of this kid. He realized that while he was still webbed up his fingers were able to reach his control screen for Red Wing, so while Spiderman was mid-rant Sam focused on his timing, and when it looked like Spiderman was getting ready to web them again he had Red Wing intercept the web and break out a window dragging Spiderman along with it.

"You couldn't have done that earlier?" complained Bucky, metal arm still pinned to the ground by the webs.

"I hate you," admitted Sam.

The battle was intense and while Bucky and Steve made it out of the airport and onto the Quinjet, Sam and the others weren't so lucky and had gotten captured instead.

While incarcerated, Sam had some time to think about the battle and what parts went wrong. He became fixated on the moment in the airport where Bucky essentially jumped in front of Sam. Sam still wasn't sure if Bucky had done it in an attempt to get to Spiderman or done it in an attempt to protect Sam. Sam had still gotten injured and fallen just as hard as Bucky had, but Sam still wondered if Bucky had tried to prevent that outcome. Sam admittedly, didn't know Bucky all too well, what he knew of was from stories by Steve, they were most likely biased and also happened over seventy years ago before the H.Y.D.R.A. programming messed with Bucky's mind.

Bucky felt like an enigma, he seemed withdrawn and distant, like he borderline hated Sam, but during the entire battle he'd had Sam's back completely. It was a jumble and Sam was having a hard time grasping what he felt about Bucky, if he hated the guy or not.

Their forced temporary partnership had at least shown Sam, that they could work together, even if Bucky did nitpick about the timing of Sam's maneuvers. They made a pretty decent team, and Sam was reminded of their similarities: military men, strong morals, loyal to the truth and Steve above anything else. Perhaps their soulmate bond was just an indicator that they'd make a good team, a platonic soulmate to help navigate the ins and outs of befriending and working with Captain America.

Sam felt it before he'd gotten confirmation from Steve when him and Natasha broke them out of prison. A couple of days before their escape he'd felt a painful chill that he recognized from childhood. Growing up he hadn't known what that icy pain was, but now after hearing Bucky's story he knew it was from being frozen, like leftovers, put into cryo until H.Y.D.R.A. had a use for the Winter Soldier.

Sam knew enough that Steve would never force Bucky into cryo sleep, so it must've been Bucky's idea. Sacrificing himself so the Winter Soldier could no longer hurt people. Sam added that to the list of swirling facts about Bucky that made him an enigma.

They were holed up in a safehouse deciding where their next move would be when Natasha approached Sam, taking a seat next to him.

"So... have you told him yet?" inquired Natasha pointing her head towards Steve, who was busy chatting with Wanda.

"What do you think?" retorted Sam.

"I think you should get on with it and tell him."

Sam sighed, "it's not that easy."

"And? Do it anyways," encouraged Natasha.

"You don't get it."

"Then explain it to me, I'm a smart girl."

"He just lost him, again."

"So did you."

"It's not the same."

"No, but it's not insignificant either, might be good to commemorate together."

"I barely knew the guy."

"In a way yes, but in another you know him better than anyone else ever could," informed Natasha.

Sam sighed, "just 'cause I can feel his pain doesn't mean I know him."

"Still..." said Natasha knowingly.

"Guess I kind of see your point, but.." Sam sighed again not sure what to do.

Natasha sensing the conversation was nearing its natural conclusion stood up and right before heading off to the others she commented, "For what it's worth I think he'd want to know."

Sam knew Natasha was right, Steve would want to know, he should know. Bucky and Sam were basically Steve's best friends, if anyone were to know it should be him. The problem was anytime Sam thought about telling Steve, something urgent would pop up or he'd lose his nerve at the very last second.

Sam had so many almost conversations, Steve probably thought being on the run was messing with Sam's mind.

Sam did eventually get the courage to tell Steve, but it had taken him over a year since Natasha had sat him down to build up the nerve. Even then Sam kept trying to logic his way out of the conversation, but the longer he went without revealing the truth of his connection to Bucky, the harder it would be for them all. Sam kept replaying disaster scenarios about Steve getting mad for laying some cosmic claim on Bucky or for lying to him and waiting so long to reveal the truth. It needed to be done though, and Sam finally had the nerve to approach Steve about Bucky and what he truly meant to both of them.

There was supposed to be four of them on the run, Steve, Natasha, Sam and Wanda but Wanda would occasionally sneak off from the group. She thought no one knew where she was going but all it took was a little recon from Red Wing to determine that she was sneaking off to be with Vision. They were apparently soulmates, the gooey-eyed loving kind, and when Steve realized what was going on he'd let her disappearances slide, indicating that she deserved some alone time with her soulmate. Wanda thought herself subtle, that no one noticed the disappearances, but it had become a bit of an open secret, and no one felt the need to call her out on it.

The day before yesterday, Wanda had once more snuck off to be with Vision. They never knew how long she'd be gone or how she'd locate them once her visit was over, but she'd come back eventually and never seemed to have any issues finding them again. Wanda always acted as if she'd never been gone in the first place. Natasha had stopped calling her out on that long ago, at this point it just felt like scolding an unruly teenager for breaking curfew.

The three of them: Natasha, Steve and Sam, were currently hiding out in a run-down motel. Natasha was taking the first shift of sentry duty. That left Sam and Steve. They were supposed to be sleeping, but it was still daylight and neither were exhausted. They were talking about nothing in particular mostly about places that may be good to hideout for a couple of weeks and how not subtle Wanda was, when Sam eventually steered the topic to one he’d been dreading for years.

"So, soulmates, it's a weird thing huh?" started Sam with a bit of a nervous chuckle attempting to ease his way into the conversation lightly, giving himself room for an out if he needed.

"I can't say I fully understand them, but Wanda seems happier than I've ever seen her before so who's to say if it's weird. I mean as long as Wanda and Vision are happy together that's all that matters."

"Yeah," agreed Sam, "I meant more generally the whole concept of it... being attached to someone in such a profound way. It's weird how the universe pairs people up seemingly at random..

"I don't know if I believe that it's random," admitted Steve, "perhaps I'm just biased."

"How so?" questioned Sam.

“Well, back in my day I had one and nothing about it felt random or weird. Granted it was a long time ago, and we didn’t have long together, but I wouldn’t have traded our time together for the world. Her name was Peggy,” said Steve wistfully and Sam winced remembering that less than a few years ago they’d both attended her funeral, perhaps this conversation wasn’t off to the right start, “Any particular reason why you’re thinking of soulmates?”

Sam looked away, this was it, the moment of truth. He could chicken out and come up with some lame response like Wanda's disappearance brought soulmates to the forefront of his mind, or he could admit the truth he'd been hiding for far too long.

Sam took a deep breath and made up his mind, “Well, as it turns out, I found mine.”

“Oh,” said Steve sounding surprised, “I think I see where this conversation is going. Sam your friendship means the world to me, and I appreciate your loyalty and sticking up for me, coming on the run with Nat, Wanda and I, but don’t feel the need to follow me out of some sort of obligation. If you’ve found your soulmate and want to be with them, to follow them instead of us, I completely understand and so will Nat. Just promise me you’ll be safe that’s all I ask of you. I won’t ask you to stick by us, I know the allure of a soulmate; when you find them you don’t ever want to be parted and if it’s at all possible you shouldn’t be.”

“It’s much more complicated than that.”

“If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know.”

“Yeah, I don’t think there is.”

Steve nodded and gave Sam’s shoulder a comforting squeeze, “If you just want to talk or have a wall to vent to, I’m here. I like to think that you already knew that though.”

“Yeah, I did… I’ve known for awhile now, but I was afraid to tell you, I wasn’t sure how you’d take it.”

“What? How I'd take it? Is it Natasha or something? Because despite the fact that we did kiss once it’s totally platonic and that was just for cover.”

“Worse,” confessed Sam.

“How so?”

“Bucky.”

“Bucky? My Bucky? Currently in Wakanda Bucky?”

“Yes, yes and yes the bionic staring machine currently turned popsicle for the time being.”

Steve shook his head, “I don’t understand.”

“Look I don’t get it either, it’s definitely not how you and everyone else I’ve talked to describe their soulmate. I only figured it out because every time I went to kick his ass the pain bounced back to me and when he injured me, I could see him wince in pain. Even when he wasn’t in full on Winter Soldier mode, every blast he took I felt it too doubly so and I know he felt mine too. But everything was so chaotic and confusing, I don’t think he actually realized what was happening or why.”

“So, Bucky doesn’t know...” clarified Steve.

“Trust me I’m doing him a favour by keeping him in the dark.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Steve, I wanted to believe in soulmates, but my experience has never been like others. Through your bond you feel each other’s pain, that’s all you ever feel. For normal people the pain is just part of the deal a nuisance but outweighs the cons of never knowing who you belong with. I know it’s not his fault but when he was in Winter Soldier mode he got into a lot of fights and with his super soldier healing he was fine, but I didn’t have that. I just got this unbearable seething pain throughout my entire body for days on end sometimes weeks and then it would be a couple of months of nothing, just enough to lull me into a false sense of security, thinking things had calmed down, then sudden searing pain again and again over and over. I’d black out from the pain, the first time I truly remember it happening I was three. I never got the luxury of seeing soulmates as anything but negative. There was no euphoria moment when I realized the truth just existential dread. Bucky is like you from the forties he might still have some optimism about the whole thing, no sense taking away his hope by revealing how badly the universe messed up.”

“You know back in the forties Bucky was actually quite the charmer, perhaps the universe didn’t mess up as badly as you think?”

Sam chuckled, “Yeah, well, I doubt I’m what he envisioned in a soulmate all those years ago.”

Steve chuckled as well, “just because it’s not what we wanted doesn’t mean it isn’t exactly what we need.”

Sam shook his head with a smirk, “There you go again with your inspiring speeches.”

“Well, I am supposed to be the symbol for hope.”

“Get out of here with that all American boy crap,” said Sam playfully shoving Steve away.

Chapter Text

Chapter Five: Destroyed

A sharp pain shot through Sam's left shoulder, he rubbed at it to try and alleviate some of the pain. Sam frowned, he hadn't been doing anything strenuous, just a quiet game of cards to pass the time, the TV on for a bit of background noise.

"Do you know if Bucky is still in cryo?" asked Sam trying to determine why now he had a sudden flare up of pain, the only time he ever got aches and pains he couldn't explain away had been from Bucky and the pain that their soulmate bond brought him.

"Should be," commented Natasha.

"We would have heard if he wasn't," supplied Steve.

"Yeah him and T'Challa are besties," joked Natasha crossing her one finger over the other to emphasize just how close Steve and T'Challa were.

"We're not besties we just have a mutual respect for one another," corrected Steve.

"They're besties," side-whispered Natasha in a joking tone that caused Sam to huff a laugh.

"Any reason why you're asking about Bucky?" asked Steve who always became hyper focused whenever a conversation drifted towards the topic of his best friend, Sam probably shouldn't have mentioned anything because now Steve was laser-focused on Sam.

"He's just hoping to derail the game because he knows I was about to hand his ass to him," joked Natasha sensing Sam's tension and doing her best to alleviate it.

"Yeah, you caught me," said Sam his heart not really in it.

"Then why were you rubbing at your shoulder just now?" asked Steve too observant for his own good.

Sam fidgeted awkwardly.

"It's just his tell, we've played enough hands of poker you'd think by now you'd notice such an obvious tell," fibbed Natasha covering for Sam.

"What happened?" asked Steve seriously, not believing Natasha's lie for a second.

"It's nothing really, my shoulder just hurt for a moment probably just an old war injury," said Sam trying to downplay the pain.

"Your war injury is on your right shoulder not the left," reminded Steve.

"Oh," said Sam not realizing how much Steve had been paying attention to him.

"It's from Bucky isn't it?" prodded Steve, "that's why you were asking if he was out of cryo."

"It's not necessarily him," said Sam hedging around the topic.

"Has this happened before?" asked Steve seriously.

"There's been a couple of other occasions I felt a small twinge of something but could've been nothing or my imagination."

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" asked Steve confrontationally.

"You know I hate talking about soulmates," answered Sam honestly.

"I get that but cryo sleep isn't supposed to be painful, so if you're feeling Bucky that means, he's awake, that someone woke him up."

"And your point being?" asked Sam agitated, he really, really hated talking about soulmates.

"Someone could've woken him up, reactivated the Winter Soldier and now we're that much farther behind his trail and it will be that much harder to find and get him back. You should have told us," scolded Steve.

"I'm not some damn Bucky alarm that goes off whenever he wakes up."

"Sorry," apologized Steve, "you know I didn't mean it like that, I know you're your own person."

"Maybe I could've said something earlier..." conceded Sam, "I do know how much he means to you, I don't know why you're so fond of such a pain in the ass, but I get that he's your childhood best friend."

"Thanks, and really if you gave him a chance you'd see that Bucky's a really great guy," encouraged Steve.

"I've given him plenty of chances, still don't get what you see in him," retorted Sam.

"You know he actually reminds me a lot of you."

"Well now I'm offended," joked Sam.

"Guys," interrupted Natasha her voice sounding horrified.

Both Steve and Sam were alerted to her morbid shell-shocked tone, they stopped their playful bickering and turned to look at her. Natasha indicated her head towards the TV that had been playing in the background.

"Oh my god," said Sam as he saw the news report, the destruction in New York by aliens and the shocking headline indicating Tony's disappearance.

"Something big is coming," commented Steve.

"Looks like something big already came," observed Sam.

"Things are going to get worse," stated Natasha.

"We need to warn Wanda," said Steve.

"Of all the times for her to sneak away," commented Natasha.

It was a good thing they set out to find Wanda when they did she was in a battle for her and Vision's life when they found her.

The battle was intense Thanos's minions were relentlessly after Vision, more accurately the mind stone that had been used to help create him. Thanos's minions were strong but luckily they had numbers on their side, Natasha managed to badly injure one of them, incapacitating them and not long after they were able to corner and surround the two of them.

"We don't want to kill you," informed Natasha her tone turning tense and serious as she followed that statement up with a threat, "but we will."

"You'll never get the chance again," said the uninjured alien. Before anyone could react to that statement a bright ray of light shone down on the two aliens. They were beamed onto the ship that had been hovering above, the ray of light disappearing as soon as the aliens were aboard. Sam had never seen such technology before, it looked like something out of a sci-fi movie, which didn't bode well for the coming days.

Sam helped Vision to his feet, him and Wanda supporting his weight as they made their way to the Quinjet. During lift-off Natasha turned towards Wanda and started scolding her for her recklessness, "Now I thought we had a deal: stay close, check in, don't take any chances."

"I'm sorry," apologized Wanda, "we just wanted time, it's difficult being parted from one's soulmate, surely you can understand that?"

Sam personally found it easier to be apart from his soulmate, the more distance there was between Sam and Bucky, the happier Sam was. He knew his sentiment was not one any of the others shared about their soulmates, so he remained quiet on the topic and then diverted the conversation to a more important topic.

"Where to Cap?" enquired Sam, he'd initially been planning on taking them back to their latest safe house but after Tony going missing and the attack on Vision, things were escalating, getting serious fast.

"Home," responded Steve, referring to a place none of them had been in a long, long time.

The Avengers compound was more or less how Sam remembered it, not that they had much time for nostalgia, more important things were at stake. Rhodey greeted them with open arms, while Banner awkwardly greeted them and informed them of the looming dread facing them. They discussed their next steps and how best to thwart Thanos's plan, which lead them to Wakanda and a certain someone who Sam had been hoping not to see for a long while, ideally, the rest of his life .

When they arrived in Wakanda, Bucky was among the welcoming party, he was sporting a wide beaming smile aimed at Steve, it was unnerving to see the chronically scowling bionic man smiling. Bucky greeted Steve with open arms and blatantly ignored everyone else. Sam tried not to be hurt by this, they didn’t mean anything to each other, not really so why did his feelings get so hurt? Less than a day ago he'd been wishing he wouldn't have to see Bucky ever again.

Perhaps it just irked Sam to be completely ignored, Bucky didn't even give him a head nod of acknowledgement of his existence.

Natasha looked between the two of them and gave his shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. He didn’t know why, but it helped, and he squeezed her hand to silently thank her for her support. If any of the warriors thought this exchange as odd, they didn’t say so, for which Sam was grateful.

Not wanting to overcrowd the room of scientist who were working to extract the mind stone and separate it from Vision, Sam volunteered to watch the perimeter. Unfortunately, Bucky had a similar thought, and he too stayed back while the others worked with Vision and formulated strategies for the upcoming battle.

Bucky was just standing there staring off into the distance. Sam felt an awkward sort of tension between them, he didn't know what to say or do around Bucky, especially with Steve not around. Bucky was Steve's friend not Sam's.

"So," started Sam trying not to sound as awkward as he felt, "how long you been unthawed?"

Bucky glared.

"Couldn't have been too long otherwise you would've contacted Steve, right?" prodded Sam, "you know your best friend who risked his life and reputation for you."

Bucky just stared daggers at Sam.

"Tall guy, blonde hair, blue eyes, symbol for truth honour and hope?" continued Sam.

Bucky looked at Sam unimpressed.

"Maybe there was just too many things to stare at," prodded Sam, "you got your trees, the sky, buildings, some nice looking boulders-"

"Do you ever stop talking?" asked Bucky annoyed.

"Whoa, did you just speak a full sentence?" asked Sam with fake astonishment.

"I had to, you were starting to narrate your own breathing," retorted Bucky.

"Someone's got to fill the void your broody ass creates wherever you go."

Bucky rolled his eyes.

"Tell me I'm wrong? Are you not aware you telling me to shut up is the first thing you said to me in like 3 years?"

"I'm not chatty," replied Bucky stiffly.

"Yeah, I got that, somewhere between your third eye roll and death glare."

"You'd think you'd take the hint by now, but apparently you're immune to social cues."

"Are you, Mr. Bionic Staring Machine, really trying to lecture me about social cues?"

"I don't know how Steve puts up with you," commented Bucky.

"Right back at you," retorted Sam, "Steve said you used to be a charmer, but I'm not buying it."

"You try being brainwashed for over seventy years and see if you come out of it all rainbows and sunshine," rebuffed Bucky, and now Sam felt like a jackass. Bucky was scowling, abbrassive, untrusting and defensive but he hadn't always been that way, of course the trauma from H.Y.D.R.A.and everything associated with them, changed him. His stoic silence was well-earned and Sam felt horrible for provoking him when all he'd wanted was to be left alone.

Perhaps Sam had been more hurt by Bucky blatantly ignoring him than he'd let on, not that that gave Sam an excuse to provoke Bucky into giving him a reaction. He knew better, Bucky just always seemed to bring out the worst side of Sam, why the universe would pair them as soulmates was lost on Sam.

"I guess that's a valid point," conceded Sam.

Bucky sighed deeply.

"You look well," said Sam trying a softer approach.

"Yeah, well, turns out fresh air and getting rid of homicidal programming will do that to you," informed Bucky.

"Wait," paused Sam processing the news, "you're saying that..."

"It's gone yeah," informed Bucky a smile of relief on his face, "Shuri and some of the other Wakandans they figured out how to remove the Winter Soldier programming."

"I'm happy for you man," said Sam honestly. He'd seen first hand the destructive nature of the Winter Soldier and the aftermath it had taken on Bucky, the inner turmoil it had caused when he learnt what he'd done while not himself.

"It was a difficult journey but I'm glad to be free of it, free of him."

"You should be proud of how far you've come," said Sam sincerely.

A confused expression crossed Bucky's face as if he was trying to figure out whether or not that was a compliment or a diss.

"Steve will be relieved," said Sam not bothering to admit he was also relieved that the Winter Soldier was no more, and Bucky had managed to find some semblance of peace, selfishly he was hoping that meant the random bursts of pain would stop. Of course, if Bruce was right and an army was coming they'd both be fighting in it and Sam would have to prepare himself to endure whatever violence was inflicted on Bucky as well as himself. It would make the battle more difficult, but he'd done it before he'd just have to push through the pain and manage like he always did.

It didn't take long for Bruce's predictions to become a reality and Thanos's army began their assault on the city, "Hey Cap we got a situation here," warned Sam as the first ships burned through the atmosphere and started raining down from the sky like fiery comets. The protective dome around the city saved them from the first fiery wave of the attack. Sam stared at it in surprised shock that the barrier withheld after the blast and that the debris didn't make their way through.

"God, I love this place," commented Bucky looking at how the explosions bounced off the dome's barrier.

"Don't start celebrating yet guys we got more incoming outside of the dome," warned Rhodey.

Rhodey was correct more just kept coming and coming, so far the dome held but it could only last so long. The rest of the troops and Avengers assembled to defend both the city and Vision. Sam was familiar with his role, the Falcon, being the eyes in the sky, giving them an aerial advantage. Just before Sam flew off to take his position, he clapped Bucky on the shoulder and said, "Good luck out there."

Bucky seemed too startled by Sam's actions to respond, he was still sporting a surprised expression when Sam finished doing his loop of the battlefield and was hovering in the air waiting for the proper moment to strike.

The battle to end what Sam thought was all battles happened, and they lost hard. Sam was in excruciating pain, every cell in his body hurt, he couldn't tell if the injuries were from himself, Bucky or a combination of the two. He was lying on the ground injured and in defeat, the pain from both himself and Bucky was too much, and Sam didn't have the strength to get up. Thanos had won.

A sensation Sam had never felt before rippled throughout his cells, Sam didn't understand it, it felt awful and evil almost like every cell in his body started rapidly decaying all at once. Instinct told Sam to find Bucky, he managed to crawl a few feet before catching glimpse of the impossible.

Bucky stumbled forwards calling out for Steve when the unthinkable happened and Sam watched in horror as Bucky completely disintegrated in front of his eyes. A horrible feeling tore at his soul shredding it to pieces causing indescribable pain as Sam struggled to comprehend the horrors of what had just happened. He barely had time to process it before the decaying sensation gripped Sam once more and he too disintegrated into nothing.

The world was a dark nothingness an empty void where not even thought existed, but at least Sam didn’t have to worry about his soulmate situation anymore.

Chapter Text

Chapter Six: Denial

The world was a dark nothingness void.

No sound.

No smell.

No touch.

No thought.











NOTHING

5 YEARS LATER

Reality stitched itself back together a soothing wave of warm euphoria embracing the shredded pieces of Sam's body and soul mending him, coaxing him back together, slowly gaining thought and form. Sam gasped a breath of air, not understanding what had just happened.

It took Sam a moment to come back to himself as he recalled all the moments leading up to him collapsed on the ground, no not just collapsed, disintegrated, just like Bucky. BUCKY

A panic set in and Sam scrambled to his feet, he was just about to call out for Bucky when he saw him standing there fully formed, confused expression on his face. Impulse overtook Sam and he launched himself at Bucky opening his arms wide and embracing Bucky in the biggest hug imaginable, "Thank god," murmured Sam in pure relief. It wasn't until Bucky awkwardly reciprocated that Sam came back to his senses and realized what the hell he was doing.

Sam hated Bucky, with his cocky attitude, argumentative nature, and just overall irritating personality. The way his brilliant blue eyes stole Sam's breath, and the warmth that always radiated from his body-

Sam immediately pulled back and took a large step backwards and started stammering out excuses for his impulsive actions. He didn't know what had overcome him, he'd just been so relieved to see Bucky all common sense flew out the window.

Sam was saved from hearing Bucky's response by the sudden appearance of a large swirling orange portal.

"What fresh Hell is this?" asked Sam as a man exited the portal and approached them. In the corner of his eye, he saw Bucky tense as he stared the newcomer down.

A swirl of information was thrown at them by the man who turned out to be not only a sorcerer but the Sorcerer Supreme who'd come to retrieve them. He informed Sam and Bucky that in the time since they’d disintegrated and come back together 5 years had passed and Steve had managed to get himself in way over his head in yet another fight with Thanos. Sam loved the idiot, but he sure had a knack for picking a fight and then getting in way over his head. Bucky just shook his head not the least bit surprised by this turn of events.

It wasn't until after the battle that Sam learnt Natasha had sacrificed herself in order to get the soul stone to help bring everyone back. Sam was beside himself when he learnt the news. They hadn't been the best of friends, but they were close, she was the first person he'd ever told about Bucky, and provided the encouragement needed for him to confide in Steve. It was hard to imagine a world without her.

Sam didn't want to break down in front of the others, his whole life he'd compartmentalize, get the task done so he could breakdown later. He managed to keep it together during Steve's retelling of her sacrifice but as soon as he was finished Sam felt his eyes burning from holding back tears for too long. Sam quickly made an escape to another room, barely managing to make a semi-believable excuse and not noticing a pair of startling blue eyes analyzing his movements as he fled the room.

Sam found the first empty room, barely made it inside before he was sliding down the wall, his pent-up emotions breaking free from their poorly constructed compartments. He'd always liked Natasha, she was intelligent, quirky, one of the best fighters he'd ever met, and just an overall badass.

She was his friend and now she was gone, he'd never get to say thank you for bringing him back and giving him the courage to confront Steve with truth of Sam's connection to Bucky. He'd never get to tell her how much it meant to have someone who understood the emotional complexities at war in Sam's mind when it came to soulmates, the Winter Soldier and Bucky. Someone he could vent to without judgement, talk to when things got difficult, laugh with during moments of levity. Sam had always enjoyed her company. They had a bunch of inside jokes from their time on the run together and a running gag where they'd inform Steve of something that he'd missed during his time in the ice in the most absurd way possible like when Natasha told Steve about bracelets that activate via violence(slap bracelets) or when Sam informed Steve that kids once worshipped a cursed animatronic that activated when you least expected it(furbies).

Sam was deep in his emotions, head buried in his knees when he suddenly felt a comforting presence by his side. Sam hadn't heard anyone come in, most likely a consequence of their stealth training, whether it was from H.Y.D.R.A. or his time in Wakanda, Sam wasn't sure. One moment Sam was alone, and the next Bucky was by Sam's side. Bucky was already seated on the ground mere millimeters separating them when Sam realized he wasn't alone.

Natasha had once mentioned that during her pre-avenger Russian assassin days she'd had several run-ins with the Winter Soldier. Sam vaguely wondered if Bucky remembered that and that maybe he too was mourning her in his own weird way. Sam was too in his emotions to further analyze why Bucky had come to sit with him during his mourning.

Bucky, didn't say anything, because of course he didn't, he didn't even acknowledge that Sam was in the room, he just sat there staring at the wall, being a comforting presence, letting Sam know he wasn't alone in his grief. Oddly enough, it helped. Sam was used to coping on his own, but it felt nice to share the grief with someone else.

Sam had lost many friends and good people during the final stand and Tony surprised them all by purposely sacrificing his life to end the battle for once and all. The man, despite his flaws, was a hero and no one could deny it, without him Sam would still be in a nothing-filled black void where time and thought ceased to exist. He much preferred existing.

It had been a tough battle and getting through the funeral and the send off in the lake had been more emotionally taxing than he expected. Sam had never been close to Tony, and they were on opposite sides on multiple issues, but he was still a good man and Sam respected him and the morals he lived by.

Sam hung near the back, knowing it wasn’t his place to be up front with Steve and Tony’s surrogate son Peter. Surprisingly, Bucky and Wanda stood near him probably also feeling a bit like outsiders.

Bucky stared solemnly off into the distance looking as if on the verge of tears. Sam had no idea what could possibly be going through Bucky’s mind, but he was struck by the sudden urge to comfort him. Sam didn't know where the impulse came from but he sensed Bucky could use the extra support.

Sam patted Bucky’s arm and squeezed his shoulder in a comforting gesture; leaving his hand on Bucky's shoulder for what was probably considered much too long to be appropriate.

Neither Bucky nor anyone else made any indication of complaint, so Sam just did what he felt was right. Perhaps Bucky had just needed an anchor and for some reason Sam felt compelled to be such a thing for him.

Sam refused to analyze why he'd felt compelled to be there for Bucky despite their differences and personality clashes. He blocked out the intrusive thought that it was probably a similar reason as to why Bucky had felt compelled to be there for Sam in his grief.

After the funeral, Steve, with the help of Professor Hulk prepared for his journey back in time to return the stones.

Sam had offered to help, but Steve gently declined, calling Sam a good man. As Steve spoke, he gave a subtle nod towards Bucky, who stood nearby, with a quiet intensity, looking at Steve like it was a final goodbye.

Sam wasn’t quite sure what Steve was hinting at but guessed it had something to do with the broody secret staring at them. Sam nodded his acceptance, and Steve smiled a genuine smile before saying his goodbye to his longest and most cherished friend. Sam tried his best not to notice the way Bucky’s smile lit up his entire face and the sound of his genuine laughter, the spark of the man he used to be the man he should’ve always been. Sam shook his head and looked away trying to get his mind away from dangerous topics that could never be.

To them Steve was only supposed to be gone five seconds. Five seconds had passed then ten, then a minute and soon ten minutes. Sam was arguing with Professor Hulk to get Steve back. Something must've gone wrong, Sam was incredibly worried, but Bucky seemed uncharacteristically calm.

Bucky turned away from the machine, and the heated debate Sam and Professor Hulk were having. He stared off into the distance a serene look on his face.

“Sam,” called Bucky, his voice actually registering Sam's presence is what shocked Sam the most and caused him to break off his argument with Professor Hulk. Normally Bucky didn't speak much to Sam, other than to criticize, it piqued Sam's curiousity that Bucky was addressing him without a hint of malice or criticism in his tone.

Sam approached Bucky, wondering why he'd called Sam over. Bucky just nodded his head, not out towards the water but in particular to an elderly man sitting on a bench. Confused Sam followed Bucky's movements and started moving towards the elderly man. When Bucky stopped halfway towards the man, Sam hesitated, and stopped as well. Sam was still unclear about what was going on and who the man was that Bucky seemed so interested in.

Bucky remained planted where he was, not saying anything but gestured with his head for Sam to continue onwards. If Sam hadn't been so curious he would've tried to pry more information from Bucky first. Prying information from Bucky was a difficult, frustrating near impossible task, the easiest way forwards was to complete the distance to the bench and see why Bucky was so insistent Sam go to the bench.

Sam cautiously, approached the elderly man and despite his age instantly recognized Steve. Sam was worried that something had gone horribly wrong, but Steve had assured him that this had been what he wanted; that he'd planned it all along.

“I know it was a selfish decision, I didn’t come at it lightly though. I know you, the kind of man you are and more importantly I know Bucky even after everything he went through, I can still see the good in him as I’m sure you do too.”

Sam fidgeted awkwardly at Steve’s observation.

“I know that you’ll look out for each other, that’s what it truly means to be a soulmate.”

“I’m guessing you had plenty of time to figure that one out,” said Sam noting the ring on Steve’s finger.

Steve smirked, “It was a good life and while I missed you and Bucky terribly the allure of being reunited with my soulmate was too much to deny.”

Sam nodded his head, “Yeah I get that,” Sam chanced a glance at Bucky who was staring wistfully at the two of them, Sam tried his best to hide his blush thankful for his dark complexion, “Can’t say I wouldn’t make the same decision.”

Steve’s smile widened, “You should tell him.”

Sam subtly glanced back at Bucky once again, “I don’t think either of us are ready for that.”

“Eventually then.”

“Yeah maybe,” said Sam unsure if he was lying or not.

Steve gave him a sympathetic smile, “I am glad that the two of you have each other, even if nothing comes of it promise me that you’ll take care of each other.”

“That I can do.”

Steve’s smile widened once more.

“You know I am a little bummed that I’ll have to live in a world without a Captain America again.”

“You don’t have to,” said Steve revealing the shield that had been hiding inside a none too subtle bag. Sam had just been too distracted to even notice the large bag laying by Steve's side. He then decided to blow Sam’s mind by offering the shield to him and a full glance back at Bucky who was smiling and gave him a head nod indicated that he knew exactly what Steve had been doing and approved. Sam didn’t know what to think, it all felt surreal and like the shield didn’t actually belong to him despite what Steve had said. He wasn't at all been prepared for this sort of responsibility and honour.

Chapter Text

Chapter Seven: Disillusionment

Sam had left the services feeling oddly optimistic about the world and feeling like he could almost let go of his anger at the universe for saddling him with the bionic man, former assassin, as his soulmate.

Of course, that euphoric feeling couldn’t last forever. In the end, it lasted about as long as the plane ride back to his hometown in Louisiana, where his sister was attempting to run the family business while raising two boys as a single mother. Her husband and soulmate, Sam's brother-in-law had died sometime during the blip, that news had come as a shock to Sam. They were never especially close, but he'd always treated Sarah well and was an excellent father to Sam's nephews.

Sam didn't know how she'd managed to handle all of that, while still finding enough time to volunteer and do the charity work that Sam had let slide during his time on the run and his disappearance during the blip.

The business was failing, and Sarah was completely overwhelmed and out of options.

Reality came crashing down on Sam hard and fast. Their family was in financial ruin and Sam knew he had to do his part, especially, since he’d been absent for the past seven years, only two of which were actually his fault.

Unfortunately, the job he was most qualified for and would pay the best for his skillset also meant he’d have to come out of retirement and do more government contracts as the Falcon once again.

A part of him, a small, miniscule part that he’d completely deny had fantasized about working together with Bucky, but of course Bucky was officially retired and basically forced into civilian life as part of his pardon. He had an apartment in New York City now, and that was the majority of what Sam knew. Bucky wasn't keen to divulge anymore information, it was a miracle Sam managed to get that much out of him.

Sam was glad that Bucky was getting his life back he was just a little bummed that it had to happen so far away from his home in Delacroix, Louisiana. Obviously, it had never been realistic for him and Bucky to stay together, they both led very separate lives.

Still, Sam tried to honour Steve’s last wishes that they take care of each other. Sam would send the odd text every few days, attempting to reach out and stay in contact but so far he’d yet to get a response.

It seemed like Bucky was good at isolating himself from others. Steve had been the only one that could get Bucky out of his shell, it was a skill Sam desperately wished he had, and it consistently annoyed him that he didn’t.

“What’s with you? You seem extra mopey today,” commented Sarah.

“Maybe I’m just pissed about the bank loan and all these new stupid technicalities and extra red tape that makes it even harder for people like us,” vented Sam.

“I know your pissed look; you forget I had to stare at that ugly mug all throughout our childhood.”

“Yeah, yeah love you too Sarah.”

“I’m serious Sam, what is it? You look just like you did when Carlie Bishop dumped you the night before the big dance.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Seriously I’m fine Sarah.”

“Seriously am I or am I not your big sister? And as your big sister it’s my job to look out for you.”

“You do know I’m an Avenger, right?”

“I’m well aware of your fancy job title, humour me though let me see if I can help. This seems like your relationship sort of mopey. Oh, did you finally find your soulmate?”

“Don’t tell me you got all that from the expression on my face.”

“What can I say I’m good, so tell me, what is this mystery woman like?”

“Well for starters… she’s a he and mystery is a pretty apt description for him. It’s all extremely complicated and confusing.”

“I’ll bet; did you at least get an explanation for all of the pain he’s indirectly caused you all these years?" asked Sarah taking Sam's revelation in stride.

“Yeah… that’s part of what makes it so damn complicated, that and the fact that he doesn’t know and we’re always arguing, he never answers my texts and I’m fairly certain he hates my guts… see complicated.”

“There’s a lot to unpack there but first off, are you some kind of idiot?” asked Sarah smacking Sam in the head.

“Ow don’t hit me! That was uncalled for!”

“It was completely called for, what sort of idiot finds their soulmate and neglects to tell them?”

“I told you it’s complicated.”

“So uncomplicate it, you have his number phone him up, tell him the truth.”

“You know it’s not that simple Sarah.”

“Why not?”

“He’s not the sort of person you can just blurt something like that out too, that is considering he would even take my calls and it’s not the sort of thing you leave on a voicemail.”

“So, are you just never going to see him again?”

Sam sighed, “Steve told us to take care of each other but…”

“Steve? As in Steve Rogers like Captain America, Steve?”

“Yeah, you know Cap and I were friends.”

“So, you’ll talk to Captain America about your troubles but not your own sister who might I add has always been on your side even when everyone thought you were lying for attention.”

“It took me years to open up to Steve, you cracked me open in a matter of weeks.”

“I don’t know if I should be offended or flattered. I know you were on the run because of the whole accords mess but you couldn’t have dropped me a message or call from some secure line to let me know that you found your soulmate, the elusive being that plagued your childhood.”

“Actually,” said Sam sucking in his breath, “I found him before all that accords bullshit.”

This time Sarah swatted him hard in the arm so much that it felt a bit like a punch; in the back of his mind he wondered if Bucky felt it and what he thought of it.

“Ow what the hell Sarah that hurt.”

“Good. I can’t believe you’ve known for near a decade and you’re only just telling me now!”

“To be fair you can’t blame me for not telling you during the last five years wasn’t exactly good cell reception in the ether of non-existence.”

She swatted him again and Sam failed at dodging it.

“Ow, seriously stop hitting me.”

“Stop being such a moron then.”

“I’m not.”

“You are, you found your soulmate almost a decade ago and you’re too chickenshit to tell him. God, I hope he’s nothing like you otherwise you’ll never get your head out of your asses and at least acknowledge the fact that you guys are soulmates.”

“Sarah, you don’t get it.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“You know all about Captain America how he was from the forties then became-”

“A capsicle, yeah I did my research when my baby brother started running around with superheroes fighting robots and aliens.”

“Well then you probably also know about his best friend from the forties Sergeant Barnes. Friend, ally, supposedly died during one of Captain America’s last missions of the forties in reality was captured by H.Y.D.R.A. turned into a super soldier against his will mind-wiped and became the Winter Soldier until Steve eventually brought him back and Shuri and some other Wakandans took the Winter Soldier programming out completely.”

“Well, I knew… some of that but why are you talking about the tragic fate of Captain America’s childhood friend?”

“Because he’s the guy! He's my soulmate! Now do you understand why everything is so damn confusing and messed up? The universe paired me with a hundred-year-old former assassin from the forties. When I was just a little kid, he was out there killing people, and all those random bursts of pain were either his victims fighting back or some sort of sick training exercise. Fate made me endure that kind of pain before I even understood what the word soulmate means. This whole situation is fucked up. I only discovered the truth when we were locked in combat and every blow I made came right back to me and all his attempts seemed to injure him more than me. I know you might be thinking that maybe I got it wrong, and it was the adrenaline of the battle but that wasn’t the case. I've been in multiple fights with and against him. Fighting alongside him in Wakanda every hit he took I felt double, and I could tell from his expression the same happened when I got attacked.”

“I suppose that does complicate things a bit.”

“You think? I’m fairly certain he’s not gay or even bi, Steve always said he used to be a ladies’ man, and I mean I still haven’t figured out what I am. It seems just like the universe made a cruel mistake.”

“The forties were a different time, not nearly as accepting of people who identified as different as we are today. Perhaps it was just an act a beard if you will or maybe he’s just like you and is still figuring it out.”

“Before this whole Bucky fiasco if someone would’ve asked me, I would’ve told them I was straight.”

“So… you are attracted to him?” she said prodding a hint of a smirk on her face.

“What? No! Of course not,” said Sam, cheeks heating up, Sarah then fixed him with a look, “I mean he’s got good cheekbones and stunning eyes but… that doesn’t mean anything and stop it with the look it’s not a crime to notice things about people!”

“Want some sisterly advice?”

“No.”

“Oh, sure you do, you’ve been blathering on about Bucky for the past hour.”

“Hasn’t been an hour.”

“Feels like an hour maybe even two, but that’s not important now. Hearing you talk about him the way your eyes light up… you may be uncertain about him, but your body isn’t. You like Bucky.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Actually, I do and speaking as someone who has found and lost their soulmate, I know that they’re a precious commodity. I wouldn’t’ trade any moment I had with him, so stop wasting your time with Bucky and tell him what you truly mean to each other. Worst case scenario he gets mad at you and never talks to you again which apparently has already basically happened. Best case scenario you realise how perfect you are together and ride off into the sunset, well maybe fly off for you.”

Sam tried to take his sister’s words to heart but any sort of message he sent to Bucky all he got was radio silence in return. He probably could’ve sent an outlandish message telling him that they were soulmates and Bucky would have no reaction whatsoever because that would require him actually reading the message. It annoyed Sam how distant Bucky was, not that he was surprised but he had thought they had found some sort of common ground after the final battle with Thanos.

He wouldn’t go as far as to say that they were becoming friends more like becoming acquaintances instead of two guys who annoyed each other and the only thing they had in common was a friend who had now left them. Sam did his best not to think of Bucky which of course made him think of him more that stupid asshole would probably have the smuggest smirk on his face if he knew just how badly he was able to get under Sam’s skin especially from this distance. At least he knew by the lack of pain that Bucky was keeping out of trouble.

Chapter Text

Chapter Eight: Frustration

Sam went about his normal life as best he could, helping out his sister when he was able, working government contracts whenever they came about, sending Bucky the odd text trying not to feel let down when he didn’t get a response. To say he was surprised to see Bucky show up in person at the airbase was the understatement of the century, sure it was just to yell at him about the shield and Steve, but it was something which is also why he didn’t protest all that much when Bucky basically forced his way onto his next mission.

"You had no right to give up the shield Sam," argued Bucky relentlessly.

"Hey," said Sam sternly having heard enough from Bucky about what Sam should and shouldn't do, acting like he cared when he couldn't even be bothered to answer a simple text, "This is what you're not going to do. You're not going to come here in your overextended life and tell me about my rights," declared Sam, "It's over Bucky."

Bucky glowered.

"Besides, I have bigger things to deal with now."

"What could be bigger than this?" asked Bucky voice thick with emotion.

Sam went on to explain about the Flag Smashers and their leader, all the trouble they were getting up to. The conversation was tense, more tense than it had been in a long time, not that Sam was all that surprised he was basically a bionic staring machine whose favourite pastime was glowering.

"Now Red Wing traced them to a building somewhere outside of Munich," explained Sam, "So that's where I'm going."

"Well, I don't trust Red Wing," complained Bucky.

Sam turned to walk away, he didn't care that Bucky didn't trust or like Red Wing, Sam did and so far Red Wing had never let him down or left his messages unanswered, just to show up out of the blue scolding Sam's life choices.

"Hold on a minute," said Bucky stopping Sam.

"You don't have to trust Red Wing, but I'mma go see if he's right. 'Cause I have a feeling they might be part of the Big Three."

"What Big Three?"

"The Big Three," reiterated Sam.

"What Big Three?" Bucky asked again looking at Sam like he was an idiot.

"Androids, Aliens and Wizards," stated Sam like that was obvious.

"That's not a thing," argued Bucky.

"That's definitely a thing," said Sam arguing right back.

"No, it's not."

"Every time we fight it's one of the three," reminded Sam.

"So, who are we fighting now? Gandalf?"

"How do you know about Gandalf?" asked Sam surprised by the relevant reference.

"I read the Hobbit, in 1937 when it first came out," responded Bucky.

"So, you see my point?"

They argued back and forth for a bit before Sam brought the argument back to the focal point of the mission at hand.

"But that's not the point. The point is that these guys aren't magical, they use brute force just like you. The incredibly annoying guy in front of me with a staring problem," stated Sam before turning on his heel and heading towards the plane once more.

"I'm coming with you," stated Bucky.

"No, you're not," retorted Sam.

Admittedly, Sam hadn't tried that hard to keep Bucky off of the plane and out of his mission. As annoying as Bucky could be, Sam had missed him, and it was nice to be reminded of his time as an Avenger and fighting alongside Steve. They'd argued back and forth quite a bit before Sam conceded and let Bucky join but deep down they both knew Sam wasn't going to stop Bucky.

Besides not too long ago, Sam was wishing he could work some of his government contracts with Bucky. Sam had always complained when Steve partnered them up but whenever major battles happened they seemed to naturally gravitate towards each other and fight as a team. Sam begrudgingly, trusted Bucky and he had a feeling it was mutual. They worked well together when they weren't snapping at each other, even then they still had a natural rhythm.

Sam had always wondered if it was because of their soulmate bond, but he'd been too scared to voice his theories when Natasha and Steve had been around to explore his hypothesis with, so he was left to contemplate the meaning of it all on his own.

On the flight to Germany, Sam tried to playfully tease Bucky but that just seemed to annoy him more. Halfway through the flight, Sam gave up on talking at least to Bucky and decided to focus on the mission, prepare himself for what was to come. Of course, Bucky always had a knack for getting under Sam's skin and he ended up in a sort of staring contest with Bucky. Each time Sam moved a bit Bucky would mimic the movement slightly in an antagonizing mocking way. Bucky was still clearly agitated with Sam and his decision to give up the shield and had no qualms about letting Sam know.

“One minute to drop-off Sam,” informed Torres.

Sam eventually got up to retrieve his goggles and earpiece, Bucky got up as well to grab his earpiece.

“So, what’s the plan?” asked Bucky breaking the silence between them.

Sam neglected to reply, two could play at the silent game.

“Great, so no plan,” retorted Bucky annoyed taking a seat again.

“30 seconds,” indicated Torres.

“Enjoy your ride Buck,” said Sam the nickname just slipping out much to Bucky’s chagrin.

“No, you can’t call me that.”

“Why not? That’s what Steve called you.”

“Steve knew me longer and Steve had a plan.”

“Fifteen seconds to drop,” interrupted Torres before Sam could retort.

Sam made his way to the open door and said, “I have a plan.”

“Really?” retorted Bucky in disbelief, “What is it?”

Sam decided to needle Bucky and instead of answering jumped out of the plane, Falcon wings intact, expanding and maneuvering, helping him fly to his target location.

Sam figured that would be the end of things and Bucky would fly back to America with Torres. Sam only hoped Bucky didn’t annoy Torres as much as he liked to annoy Sam. Torres was a good kid and didn’t deserve that sort of treatment.

The last thing Sam expected was roughly thirty or forty seconds later this huge flare-up of pain emanating from his back knocking the breath out of him. He lost focus for a second and nearly fell out of the sky trying to orient himself from the pain. Bucky was a certifiable idiot, proven by the footage Red-Wing played back. It was of the last few moments after Sam had jumped out of the plane and he saw that Bucky had jumped out of the plane with no chute and was now lying on the ground in pain.

Sam wondered if this had been a normal occurrence for him during his Winter Soldier days and if much of the pain Sam experienced had come from Bucky’s inherit stupidity and lack of regard for himself or his safety.

As soon as Sam was able to catch his breath and land safely on the ground, he couldn’t help himself from antagonizing Bucky further, “I have all that on camera. You know that right?”

Bucky as per usual, didn’t find it amusing and instead threatened to break Red-Wing.

On the mission, despite the fact that they needed to be stealthy Sam couldn’t help but bicker and antagonize Bucky with Red Wing purposely getting all in Bucky's face and maneuvering away before Bucky could catch Red Wing. Sam didn’t know why he found bickering and antagonizing Bucky so enjoyable, maybe it was just that he liked getting a reaction out of Bucky to see a hint of the human beneath the Winter Soldier exterior. Sam ended up chuckling and teasing Bucky. He hated to admit it, but he’d definitely missed this dynamic. There must be something wrong and broken in him to find bickering with a bionic staring man so enjoyable.

Sam liked to joke around with his friends and family but for whatever reason needling Bucky took the cake, perhaps because Bucky pushed back as much as Sam did and despite their differences and all that Winter Soldier business Sam did trust Bucky. Even though Bucky had made it clear that he didn’t like Sam and at most times hated him, Sam could tell that Bucky also trusted him as well. It was an honour that he extended to very few people. As far as Sam was aware it was just him, Steve, Shuri and a few of the warriors in Wakanda, the ones who had helped him get his Winter Soldier programming out of his head.

“You’re doing the staring thing again,” commented Sam.

Bucky didn’t reply just kept up with the bionic staring. Sam tried to brush it off and get on with the mission.

"Alright, let's go," said Bucky starting to move forwards.

"No, wait," said Sam stopping Bucky.

"Wait?" scoffed Bucky, "I've got a vibranium arm, I can take them."

"And I can fly, who gives a shit? Wait," said Sam sternly, "I want to see where they're going."

Bucky rolled his eyes, "There's two people."

"You only see two?"

"That's what I saw," reiterated Bucky sounding annoyed.

"Let me see what Red Wing sees," countered Sam bringing up Red Wing's sensors. As much as Sam and Bucky really needed to be stealthy, Sam couldn't help but needle Bucky with Red Wing, sometimes it was just too easy, but still overall enjoyable.

"All right," said Bucky rising to the bait.

"Let me see, let's see what Red Wing sees," said Sam playing with the controls, "Oh look at that. How many people you see now?" said Sam spelling it out for Bucky like he was a young child, "One.... Two... Oh here it comes again-"

"Four- Five," Bucky corrected himself annoyed.

"Yeah, five, yeah," said Sam still in that condescending tone.

"So, they're strong, whatever," said Bucky brushing it off, clearly impatient to get things moving. Sam wanted to hold out for a minute to get a better idea of what was going on and confirmation on the number of hostiles. Bucky impatiently waited in the shadows, and it wasn't until the transport trucks started moving that they went into action

Bucky went on the attack first while Sam tailed behind analyzing the situation. The odds were against Bucky three to one, two of them managed to get a hold of Bucky's arms, Sam sent Red Wing in as backup to help Bucky. The Flag Smasher, who wasn't actively restraining Bucky, caught Red Wing out of the air and snapped it in half.

"I always wanted to do that," chuckled Bucky.

Annoyed, Sam knew it was time to get in on the action and help Bucky out before his big mouth got him into anymore trouble.

"Good of you to join the fight, Sam," antagonized Bucky.

Fighting on top of transport trucks had been a new experience for sure. The people they were fighting were strong, super soldier strong, Sam didn’t know what to make of it, other than the fact that it was a total disaster from start to finish. Sam hadn’t thought he was rusty but he was unprepared to take not just the blows from the super soldiers but also double the force of the ones Bucky received.

He felt like he was a kid again on the verge of blacking out from the pain. It rather annoyed him that Bucky barely winced when he took double the brunt of the hits that landed on Sam. They were at a huge disadvantage even after the new knock-off Captain America and sidekick showed up to join the fight. As the fight raged on Bucky had fallen off and was clinging to the undercarriage of the truck. The pain was getting too much now for Sam, and he was certain if he didn’t get out of there soon, he’d black out from it.

Even on the verge of blacking out Sam couldn’t stop himself from mocking Bucky as he clung to the undercarriage and Sam flew low to the ground alongside it.

"That little girl kicked your ass," teased Sam.

Bucky yelled in annoyance, which just made Sam chuckle harder.

Sam knew the situation was reaching a critical point, they weren't going to win this one, they needed to retreat. Bucky was attempting to slow down the transport truck but all he managed to do was make Sam's arm erupt in unbearable pain, like fire was running through his veins. Sam needed this fight to end now, before he blacked out and became useless. Sam calculated the trajectory in his head waited for an opening and finally did the sensible thing and got him and Bucky out of there.