Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Once upon a time, the world died.

The eight birds had migrated, the seeds they had scattered left to bloom on their own, onto the corpse of the worm we call Earth. Its slimy skin scarred with cataclysms long past, each mountain and each crevice a tapestry for the four founding kingdoms to thrive. For a while, despite the Gods' absence, all was fine.

Until it wasn't.

Further conflict arose between the horned ones and those who bleed red. The scaled skins are dragged into the crossfire. While the black and white people of stone waited, believing in the day the earliest of birds shall return to claim their worm. For peace to once more come gushing through every crevice of this traumatized land.

And they waited.

And waited.

And waited…

“And now, we're here.”

And the picture book was closed in a gentle thud, the shortened long taught epic for the children before her remained held between her recently manicured hands. “So…” Rose began, watching the little students’ eyes glow upon her every move, almost like they've never seen a God before. “Any questions?”

There was a brief silence. “Pfft, she said gush.” Rose could hear some kid from the back whisper. This might've elicited a twitch on her eyelid, if Kanaya didn't place the side of her fist onto her lips, failing in her attempts to stifle a laugh. It's ok, children do be like this, that's what her wife would've said. Rose isn't sure he agrees, however.

“Umm…” Rose heard, and she turns to see a kid raising a hand.

“Yes, you there, at the back.” Rose said, pointing at the kid dressed in frilly yellows. The kid flinches at the attention both from Rose and the other children, the young girl going quiet as she lowered her hand. “Yes?” Rose had to nudge. She has to if she were to get any good engagement from this storytelling she was hired to do. This isn't exactly for fun, but getting paid is a nice bonus.

“I…’ The kid began, her voice almost as soft as a whisper. ”It's just- I don't really get it.” She gives Rose and Kanaya a shaky smile. “Like- We're not one of those um… Overlanders, you know? N-No offense of course!” She waves her hands. “I just… am unsure why we're being taught this..?”

Her fingers curl at the sides of her skirt, the kid almost sinking into herself as soft murmurings filled the classroom. Rose meanwhile, isn't quite sure what to say either. So there's this brief awkward silence before Kanaya took it upon herself to be the one to step forward, her face also framing a soft smile. “Do you even need a reason?” She began, the kids were immediately distracted from their chattering upon Kanaya’s giving them her initial answer. “Are you not just a little bit curious about what it is like above ground, regardless of how logical?”

“Well- We are! But…” The kid trailed off, unsure. Her nails are curled onto her skirt. And for a moment, the soft murmurings went on, and hesitancy overflowed the classroom once again. Kanaya however, ever the patient caretaker that she is, kept up her smile. Rose watches as her dearest wife closes her eyes, and sighs.

“In here, you are allowed to ask.” The jade maiden said, trying to reassure. “So please, do go on.” She said, pushing further. “Do you little ones have anything else you are curious about?” She asked, and it takes another moment, the unsureness does not immediately get drained. While Kanaya simply waits, not pressuring the children into asking further.

And that was proven to be the right course of action.

At some point, those words do end up effective, seeming to have lit up a spark back on the students’ faces. “Uhh…” She and Kanaya heard in the background. “Ooh, ooh!” Only for that to be cut off by one of them calling out, waving their hand. “Is it true that you can see the sun from up there?” They said, a simple question, before another immediately also cut them off. “What about the animals? Are they really all white not metal?” Another question. And that was cut off yet again by yet another newly curious kid. “What even are animals? Are flowers animals?”

And soon, the inquiries started to pile up, and at this point Kanaya had to raise her hands. Chuckling.

“One at a time.” Was what she tried to request, though the kids didn't quite follow. More questions would be added to the pile and Kanaya would do her best to answer. Rose finds herself chuckling, taking a step back as by this point, she now has a good reason to let Kanaya just take over. Kanaya finding the job more suitable for her admittedly, and of little actual interest to Rose. Hey, at the very least, Kanaya seems happy to oblige, answering the little creatures each in a way that is far more parsable than whatever Rose could've possibly conjured up.

Before she goes, Kanaya does shoot her a smile, as if to say she got this. Rose, if she was being honest, wished she had her wife’s patience, at least with children. Rose smiles back and Kanaya does the same, before finally, Kanaya’s attention returns to the goobers, the students’ energy having its growth spurt, while by that point, Rose had already begun to abscond.

The school itself is rather large, so she can't just walk out for a smoke break as much as she'd love to. Rose closes the door behind her, entering a mostly empty hallway. Everyone is in their classes, minus one person who is leaning next to the classroom door with his musclebound arms crossed.

“Oh?” He said, raising his wizard hat. Rose’s eyes immediately dart to his humongous fangs, her gaze pulling away from it just before she ends up coming across as rude. It is tricky, her eyes naturally falling back at those teeth with that grin he's flashing her. “Done already?” He had asked, Rose giving him another tired looking smile as a reply.

“Yeah.” She said, also giving him a verbal answer to go with said smile. “For now at least. I may not look like it, but I am not too good with large crowds. My apologies.”

“Nonsense!” Said the muscly vampire wizard man. “If you think introversion is to be ashamed of, then goodness, you haven't met me.” He chuckles. “Us staffmasters need to be in tip top shape whenever with our people, and yet, I agree that being in the company of a few trusted friends is far more relaxing.”

Rose chuckles too. “Glad to see a kindred spirit with a man such as yourself.” She said, finding herself also leaning back onto the wall besides him. “I see even the great Wood Morning is still hooman.”

She watches as his grin widens, a glint in his eyes flashing upon her words. She couldn't quite identify why, but she noticed she clearly touched a nerve somehow with her previous phrase. Best to keep that in mind, especially since she is speaking with a Staffmaster, a great and mighty leader of one of the four Hooman Kingdoms surrounding Rose and her friends’ capital, New Skaia.

And despite how unfortunately lewd sounding his name is, he had always been very cooperative diplomatically.

Which is much needed actually. After all, without Rose’s graciously given guidance, these hoomans probably would've accidentally somehow spawned in a Sburb copy of their own by now, and then they would've ended up blowing up their precious Earth C, and bam. Considering the hell Rose and her friends went through just to win this Ultimate Reward, wouldn't that be unfortunate? The thought almost made Rose shudder.

Still, best to not aggravate their new neighbors, especially the Morning king, any further.

Next up, swerve the conversation to something far more pleasant… Children!

“I must say,” Rose began, “you raised them well.” She said, trying to lower any semblance of the initial annoyance at her failed attempts to keep them entertained. It is hard, being a teacher and a storyteller. It is hard and no one understands. “I'm guessing they're being raised in the arts of wizardry?” That is definitely intriguing, one of the things Rose found fascinating from this recently contacted culture, and one she is definitely going to be looking into further whenever she is actually free.

Wood, meanwhile, closes his lips, still smiling though without those sharp flashing bright canines. “Indeed!’ He sounds so proud. “We give only the finest in teaching magic. From Pumpskin potion crafting to Heatskin fire conjuration, you name it. Why, dare I say we're the best at the job?” His chest is definitely puffed, his ego dripping in those words. “Why do you ask?” He inquires. “Do you have anybody interested in enrolling?”

As a matter of fact… “Hmm, maybe, actually.” Rose said, pinching her chin. Now those words are enough in letting Wood forget she had accidentally offended him, somehow. The prospect of possibly having the first non-hooman scholar in his nation is deliciously enticing. It would indeed mean a lot in terms of international friendship, at least, it definitely did tickle Wood’s interest.

However, knowing the other staffmasters from the other three kingdoms… They probably wouldn't be impressed. Rose could already hear them saying they are unfairly biased for the Pumpskins over them, and she would rather not imagine the consequences of that possible accusation should she go through with it.

So… Maybe it's best not to solidify anything? At least, not just yet.

It's a shame though, she's sure the Peixes heiress would be most excited at the idea, even though Rose is admittedly not quite keen on pulling the strings needed just to get her into wizard school. That is, no matter how much she's sure Fe’fook might want to. The kid is a sucker for spells and chicanery, at least, last time Rose saw her. Still, wouldn't it be better than for the younger Peixes to keep burying her face in Rose’s old wizard fiction? No? Well, Rose would highly prefer this over that really. Internally, Rose is begging her to stop. The thought of Complacency of the Learned leads to an unmistakable rush of cringe crawling up her spine. Nevermore.

“Of course.” Said Wood, nodding. “Whoever you do choose, we'll see to it that they have a nice place here in my academy.” He pulls at his robe from his chest, straightening it. “Always know, we Pumpskins are forever open to new scholars.”

“That'll be much appreciated, sir.” She gives him a nod. Crisis averted, he is pissed no more.

Now, if only she doesn't need to keep doing small talk. It would be awkward if she just shuts up, the silence is a privilege she tends to only give between her and the people she trusts. Thus, Rose muses for ways to escape this conversation she felt trapped in. That was when her brain was suddenly interrupted by the familiar sound of an old timey DING… DONG… DING… DONG… of a bell. Which was her cue.

She hears an “awwwww” coming from the class as Kanaya emerges, leaving the students with the door still open and her foot on the hall. “Come back next time!” Rose hears a student yell between the closing gap, their disappointment at Kanaya’s departure getting cut off by Kanaya’s chuckles, goodbyes, and then closing of the door. Their disappointment was already palpable.

“Ah, Miss Kanaya! Good to see you.” Wood began, finally pushing himself off of the wall, and for some reason, scanning Kanaya from toes to horns. “So… How have the kids been?” He had asked, his gaze giving off a look of expectation. Maybe of suspicion? Or maybe of just how proud he always seemed to be in regards to the perceived brightness of his students? Rose had no idea. Regardless, Kanaya meanwhile, first replies with her patented calm smile.

“You have raised some good grubs, Mister Morning.” Was Kanaya’s next words, basically parroting what Rose already just said, not that Kanaya knows that. Wood’s smile however, doesn't drop.

“I do apologize.” He said, his smile lowering for just a little. “Some of them are too curious for their own good. Tell me, it must've been hard answering so many questions.”

“No, not at all.” Kanaya began, but before she could finish, she met Rose’s eyes. Rose is shooting her a concerned looking glance, as if telling her to halt, or at least be careful with her next following words. Kanaya, to her credit, immediately understood. “I have dealt with many children before.” She said, before sighing as she shook her head. “It is my role you see. So please, do not see this as any inconvenience to me.”

These words seem to be what Rose believes Wood wanted to hear. The following reaction must've confirmed it, as his smile does fully lower into a straight line. A similar look of concern flashed in his eyes. “Still…” He said, still scanning Kanaya, much to Rose and hers’ not visibly shown displeasure. “They should've known better.” His voice lowered. “Rest assured they should be given fair and proper discipline for the obvious stress they brought you.”

“Ha ha ha, ok.” Rose said, being the one to speak up this time as she slid herself between Kanaya and Wood. Especially after catching that briefest look of displeasure flickering in Kanaya’s face. “Unfortunately, I believe we should be going now. Though we do appreciate you allowing us to do this little event.”

Wood’s smile came back. “Oh, not at all.” He shook his head. “It has always been a pleasure having one of the eight birds come visit us.” Rose will give him this, he does sound genuine, maybe even to a fault. “Especially for storytime? Why, that's incredibly sweet! Children are our future so you see?”

“Yeah…” Kanaya said, voice almost as low as a murmur. She awkwardly shuffled behind Rose, looking at the ground as if itching to leave. This time though, it was Rose who had naturally taken over the talking. “No, thank you.” Rose had said, a bit concerned that she spoke too fast and that it sounded more like ‘no thank you’ instead.

Thankfully, based on Wood’s face, that doesn't seem to be the case. “Your hospitality is much appreciated.” Rose said, finishing off the buttering up session with that final garnish. Wood meanwhile, responding to that with a chuckle, the man tipping his hat at her, solidifying the finalities of this convo.

At that, they would say their farewells. Thankfully, the parting isn't as awkward as the actual conversation they just had to wade through. There is no metaphorical stickiness in pulling away from Wood, who still possesses that toothy grin as he waved the two Goddesses goodbye. The couple gave a wave back, and soon, they spun on their heels, and walked out. The university for pumpskin children starts fading in the background as the two just walk off, Kanaya and Rose pausing right in front of school grounds, as they await for their ride.

It was then, by this time, did Rose find it to be perfect to let that shudder she's been holding back run through her veins. With Kanaya meanwhile, also looking equally uncomfortable, with the way her frown deepens into a look of disgust.

Rose’s face is scrunched up as she rubs the bridge of her nose. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Kanaya had groaned. As her wife looked around for a bit, before very discreetly pulling her phone out of her handbag, making sure to lean forwards so nobody could see. Rose watches her scroll down her messages, “Jade should be arriving here soon.” Kanaya would say, looking up from her device back at Rose. Rose would then attempt to answer back by trying to pull her frown upside down, the attempt proving unsuccessful as her lips twitch in a shaking smirk.

For a moment, Kanaya seemed like she's about to say something. Maybe some sort of words of comfort? Some passing reassurance? In the end though, she had decided to simply turn away, closing her lips and allowing the quiet to wrap them both in a warm embrace. The faint sounds of children chatting in the background fades into a blur. If Rose is being honest, she prefers this. It is a much needed silent intermission between this and the loud revelry she is expecting to dive into in hers and her friends’ long awaited reunion. Rose knows she better enjoy this peace while she still can. For there is no peace in a fruity rumpus party.

“I really do not like it here.” Rose hears Kanaya mumble, and Rose snickered at that.

“I'll be sure to not unnecessarily drag you here again then.” Rose said, finding her gaze naturally crawling up to the tall and well lit cavern ceiling.

It is rare for a hooman to be privileged enough to grow under real skies. The light of the Autumnal Alpha Flower bathes the hollowed out volcano that is every hooman’s home, forming a faux sky that they mostly seem to be content with. Afterall, why would they need the sun when they have their very own far too bright flashlight of a creature? The supposed ‘skies’ continue to glow a dimming orange hue, the flower nearing its closure just in time with the sun setting outside their darkening caverns. Fitting for the crepuscular species that are New Skaian’s magical neighbors.

Still, while there is beauty to this place, a homeliness to its medieval architecture and lack of high gadgetry. It's also quite easy to understand what exactly are her wife’s issues with it, especially with their previous Wood Morning related interaction. The man seemed steadfast in his beliefs, unquestioning that the students did wrong for some reason they both can't wrap their heads around. And Rose could only imagine what the Staffmaster was planning on doing to mitigate the ‘problem’ that was kids being curious. From the corner of her eyes, with the way Kanaya’s fists clenched, shaking, Rose could easily read her wife like a book. There's no use hiding aggravation now that they have some sort of privacy.

The closing distance of hoofbeast clops pulled them both out of their stupor. Rose raised her head to the sight of a carriage smoothly halting in front of them, its stagecoach a familiar looking salamander still wearing that same blanket Rose gave them all those years ago. “Casey.” Kanaya greets the Archmagus, Von Salamancer answering back with a glub as salamanders do. Before Rose could even question why they of all people decided to be designated carriage driver, she was interrupted by yet another call. A hand waves from the carriage’s now open door, excitedly.

“Rose! Kanaya!” Jade chirps, slamming the door open and rushing to tackle-hug her. And while Rose tried to sidestep, Jade was unfortunately a worthy glomper, and the two of them crash landed to the ground. “It's been so long! How have you been??” Her cuddle attack grows ever tighter, but she doesn't care, what with how much her tail wags. Kanaya giggles, before being interrupted by yet another new person emerging from the door, sniffing.

“Gah! It smells like chocolate covered produce aisle in here!” Terezi's nose is scrunched as she pushes herself off of the steps.

“Terezi, don't be mean.” Jade pouted, and internally, Rose is just so glad not many people are paying attention right now. Terezi meanwhile, gives her a sharp smirk.

“What?” Terezi said, leaning onto the carriage. “I never said I hate it.” Jade narrows her eyes at her. “By the way, you're strangling Rose.” She gestures. “And while I like myself some good asphyxiation, I don't think it'll be a good look to have one of their birdies choking in front of some wriggler club.”

“Not that I can see.” She quickly followed it up by adjusting her glasses, of course, following the follow up with the typical Terezi stream of giggles.

And while Jade briefly rolled her eyes at that, she does end up quickly noticing Rose’s choking sounds coming from under her. “Oh no!!” Jade said, immediately floating off of her. “I'm so sorry!” She looked legitimately horrified, covering her mouth. Rose however, coughs, while slowly pushing herself up, rubbing her throat.

“Don't be.” Rose said, letting out a last series of coughs before she straightens herself, patting the dust off of her dress.

The four of them soon enter the carriage, Casey not wasting any more time as they nudged the hoofbeast’s lines, urging it to go forwards. Jade and Terezi sat besides one another on one side, Kanaya and Rose on the other. The married couple has to bear witness to Terezi hovering her pointer finger near Jade’s temple, causing the partial dog woman’s ears to twitch. “Stoooop!” Jade whined as Rose held Kanaya’s hand, her stare urging the jadeblood to look away and just take in the Kingdom of Balers and Pumpkins’ scenery. Away from whatever the fresh hell these two are doing.

Jade meanwhile, groans, lightly smacking Terezi’s hand off. “That's it.” Jade began. “I’m taking down Senator Lemonsnout Jr!”

Terezi lets out an exaggerated gasp. “You wouldn't dare?!” She said, only to be met by Jade’s unflinching look. Terezi makes another gasp of betrayal and horror. “This corrupt bastard- He needs to suffer!” She declared. “For his crimes against scalemanity!” She said, still having that look of complete flabbergast. “You would let him off scott free??”

“Oh yeah?” Jade presses her hands on her hips. She gives Terezi a knowing smirk, before quickly pulling away from the tealblood, shrugging. “Are we even sure Mr Lemonsnout Jr should suffer like his dad did? Maybe our legislacerator is being biased? Hmm?”

“Ohoho!” Terezi’s smirk only grows, her sharp fangs like shark smelling blood. “That's a bold claim Harley. I hope you have some evidence to back that up.”

“Is that a challenge?” She growled, her glare pointed deep into Terezi’s unseeing eyes. It was at this point that Kanaya let out an “ahem” with her fist on her lips, interrupting whatever hatesnogging both she and Rose predicted was close to happening.

“So.” Kanaya began. “Longstocking… How is she?”

It's like a magic word, and Jade’s attention moves fast from Terezi to her. “Oh she's been doing great!” Jade said, her tail wagging profusely. “You should see her in her new dress, it's so cute!”

As Jade begins to rifle through her belongings trying to presumably fetch her phone, Terezi groans. “You know you don't have to show them any of that, right?” She said, shuddering. “The dress is way too citrusy.”

“Hey! Nobody said for you to chew on it..!” Jade protested, though, Rose could hear her tone trail off near the end. Jade’s ears flatten, her turning to the ground for just a moment. “It's… Not that bad though, right?”

Oh no, Kanaya looks like she is regretting bringing up this topic. The jade parts her lips, about to say something when Terezi beats her to the punch. “Eh, it's not that bad.” She said, having immediately backed off from her previous playful jesting. “Maybe just don't spread it around? You know, to not piss her off more.”

“God.” Jade presses her face onto her palms. “You're right, she hates me doesn't she?”

“Now, there is no need to say that.” Kanaya finally spoke up. “You don't need to be harsh on yourself.”

“Yeah, what she said.” Terezi added, though Jade remained looking unconvinced. “Look, wrigglers fight with their lussi all the time. I'm sure she ain't actually holding a grudge.”

“Still…” Jade said, almost whimpering. It's hard to blame her however. That fireworks incident is still fresh in Yiffany's memories, Rose knows that much. At least, based on what Harley’s daughter is willing to be open about to Rose. The thing is, as much as Rose wishes to reassure Jade in utmost honesty, she also isn't about to just snitch on something the young woman said to her in confidence.

She knows she has to be subtle. “Just give her some space, Jade.” Rose said, straightforward advice. “She doesn't despise you, she just needs to be alone for a bit, that's all.”

“Heh…” Jade chuckled, a bitterness in her tone that Rose isn't quite sure how to respond to. “Just don't talk to her, great. It’s not like I'm not used to it.” She sneered, before sighing. And it sucks, Rose knows what she is asking of Jade, somebody whose life was once defined by isolation. To ask for even further loneliness is a cruelty to Rose, no matter how much it makes sense for her daughter’s sake. If she was being honest, part of her wants to retract that statement. But no, she's right. Rose is sure about it.

It takes another moment, but Jade shakes her head. “How do you do it?” She would suddenly ask, her gaze slowly looking up at Yiffy’s surrogate, Rose. ”You and Vrissy… How?” There's desperation in her tone. “You never fight. You always get along. Hell, I never even heard her talk back to you? How?” Followed by sheer bafflement. “How could you be such a good parent?”

Kanaya lets out an awkward sounding giggle. “What?” She began. “No. No no, that is not true at all. Us and Vrissy are just normal lussus and wriggler.”

“Yeah, nah.” Terezi speaks up again. “You ain't comparing us to these two losers aren't you?” That was in jest, though Rose could read a hint of disappointment in that uncharacteristically low tone Terezi is speaking. “Sounds unfair.”

“I-” Jade stammered. “I- No, that's not what I meant.” She leans closer to Terezi, gently pressing her cheeks against her shoulders. “I'm sorry.” She said, her hand snaking to hold Terezi’s. “Yiffany is perfect, there's nothing wrong with her, alright?”

There was a long silence that followed, the atmosphere so thick with said awkwardness that it could almost choke a person. For all it's worth, Casey Von Salamancer does not force themself into glubbing between the four of them. Good, Rose appreciates the quiet carriage ride.

She turns to look away, watching the wide acres of farms passing by their window. Quite the pretty sight, Rose had already admitted, and pretty soon their carriage would've found itself closing in on the edge of this hooman made earthen dome they called a volcano. Their gigantic sun-replacing alpha flower is now actually fully closing, slowly bathing the place in the shadows of night, the darkness only being dotted by the colorful ‘stars’ that are actually just several magically infused glow stones maintained by the diligent pumpskin people working above them like busy bees. And now, the kingdom left stuck in the dark ages began legitimately fading from their view. May they visit again, at least, without Wood.

There was the briefest of halts with guards checking in on them at the gates, before said guards nodded, letting them go without a hitch, back under the real Earth C night sky.

They would find themselves in a clearing, the four of them gingerly leaving their carriage as Casey paid the hoofbeast in actual money. The horse-like lussus stares at the pieces of paper, sniffing it, and then taking them into its mouth, before chewing. Rose had no clue how successful the transactions were between hoofbeast and consort before their sort-of horse had absconded, not even giving her a chance to ask, still nomming at the boondollars. Now with them five left standing in the middle of the road, Casey uncapchalogues what looked to be an astronaut helmet. The consort shoved their head in it, before giving the gods a thumbs up. Jade smiles, holding the salamander by the hand as Rose holds Terezi and Kanaya by theirs.

And thus, they were off, pchooooing off of their exosphere.

Well, not straight out to space of course, three out of five of them aren't exactly godtiered so careening into the void would definitely be rather hazardous to their overall health. That, and they had satellites for these specific occasions. Rose and Jade would pull their friends onto one of said satellites, currently being maintained by an assortment of aliens both Earth C natives and not. The group of five don't have much time to interact with the crew however, as they don't stay here for too long. At most, a gray carapacian worker gives them a salute as they go into one of their many small spacecrafts, the tiny ship being manned by yet another one of their chess piece-esque friends. Expertly, the carapacian pilot got the engines running. And only then, they were truly off. Soon into space, for real this time.

The trip shouldn't be long at all. The half rebuilt moon already loomed in the distance. It had been a massive undertaking, refilling the partially exploded celestial body with something akin to a superdome within its hollowed out crust. What with that baffling carapacian ‘gift” they received, which was just blowing up a chunk of their natural satellite.

Regardless, here they were. With a plan to make their system’s first interplanetary metropolis. Somewhere for Trolls, Humans, and everyone else to relax while Rose strengthens Earth C diplomacy through the simple tool of tourism.

Right now however, only the foundations and a fair few establishments were actually open across this would-be lunar megacity. For the sake of Rose’s plans however, this is perfect. Besides some laborers dotting around the surface, this is still the most private place within their star system. Renting out an entire restaurant for the day is barely an inconvenience, especially for Rose. Now they have just the right venue for the pre-reunion of the gods, a few days right before the annual Grand Returnal festivities she is sure they are looking forward to.

Nobody said they aren't allowed to have fun before the big celebration.

Their ship grinds to a halt. Rose, Kanaya, and the others were nudged out of whatever musings they were having by the sight of a giant manatee, its humongous ass just floating in front of the ship, in space.

Their pilot was livid, and if it weren't for them being in literal space they'd probably be lowering their windshield already. Rose craned her neck up to see that no, she misjudged, and the pilot was actually about to throw a fit. The carapacian already stood up, grabbing their space suit before proceeding to march to the airlock.

“H-Hey!” Jade was the first one to jump off her seat to try and stop them, Kanaya following. Meanwhile, Terezi was leaning against her seat, throwing uncapchalogued neon colored popcorn at her open maw. “Want some?” Terezi offered, and Rose declined with a shake of her head.

The following screaming and struggling only stopped as their pilot looked back through the window. Their resident Mage of Doom, Sollux, happened to have floated by. He stares dumbfounded at the beast, before coating the stray animal in the red and blue glow of his psionics. The heterochromatic troll shrugs as his eyes glow, tossing aside the still seemingly asleep manatee, off of their trail. The lumbering creature rolled into the distance. Sollux gives them a thumbs up as he floats away. Well that was a strange intermission, Rose thought.

They would finally land right in front of their destination. Kanaya gives their pilot friend some cash for the ride, which the carapacian furiously shakes their head at, clearly refusing. Kanaya however, insists, and Rose doesn't pay any further attention to the interaction as she and the rest of the group near the fancy wooden doors of their chosen venue. It would be opulent, if it weren't for the Gamzee just left propped onto the wall, snoozing. His clothes caked in substances Rose doesn't care to identify, he smells funny, and Rose swears she could hear him honk with each wheezing snore.

She tries to ignore him, pushing the door open, which thankfully doesn't wake the clown up. Upon entering, her eardrums were blasted by what she could only describe as the sounds of flatulence. “This is shit.” Through the noise, she could barely make out Karkat, the troll standing next to his fellow knight and Rose’s sister, Isadora. “Like Jesus Fucking Christ or whatever you call your human T execution instrument.”

“A cross?” The Strider said nonchalantly to her… Moirail? Kissmessis? Matesprit? Whatever?

“Yeah, that, whatever.” Karkat raised his hands, accidentally splashing the contents of his red solo cup that Rose had grown intimately familiar with due to certain troll movies. “Is this what wrigglers these days call thinkpan rotting?” He asked, Rose swearing he is sounding more and more older every time she sees him. “Who in their right minds would even popularize this complete and utter inane bullshit?? Cause goddamnit! Are we just gonna have to send some stupid fucking brain melted thumb flagellating mangrub to no internet access jail? Or are we just doomed at quarantining this abomination of an artform spreading faster than Cronus’ STD?”

Isadora takes a small sip from her own solo cup. “I dunno, I like it.” She shrugged, and Karkat looked at her like she's far more intoxicated than she actually is. “It's like one of those avant garde think pieces you really gotta wrap your head around, like bacon wrapped hot dog. Or some other stuff cause bacon is rad and we're so fucking redonkulous for making them a thing again. High-five us. We're like goddamn Disney princesses opening up the gates of Noah’s arc up in this joint.” She trails off like Dora normally does. “What I'm getting at is you gotta keep licking that Tootsie roll. Or chew on that bacon. Who even takes that long eating bacon? It's the holy grail of breakfast anything, and nobody would disagree except prolly vegans.”

“Dora.” Karkat began, staring deep into her shades. “It's fart music.”

“Just how I like it.” Was all Isadora’s reply.

Rose isn't exactly interested in approaching the two, though she sees Terezi move past her, pulled by the hand by Jade, the tealblood being dragged to the knightly couple’s direction. “Come on!” Rose hears Jade say, Terezi meanwhile, has that blank look on her face. One that Rose can't quite read.

Rose watches them go, her gaze trailing away as she had lost interest in that particular conversation. She quickly moved on to scan for the rest of her companions, Casey Von Salamancer nearly fading into the colorful crowd, though Rose could still catch the sight of their tail under their robes.

The salamander is seen passing Jane by the punch bowl. And Rose only watches as her friend leans down, pressing her hand onto her thighs as she stares sternly at two of the most troublesome of their teenagers, Harry Anderson and her own son, Tally Crocker.

“Now what did I say about spiking the punch bowl?” She asked, a frown forming in her face, though she looked less angry at the children and more on herself if Rose read her right.

Tally grinned, leaning against his hands behind his back. That buck tooth grin sure shows that hint of Makara and English despite Jane’s long time separation from the two. “That it's too rough of a gag?” He asked.

Jane sighed. “Yes, it is.” She said, shaking her head, sounding more apologetic than her own child seemed to sound. “It’s too mean. And you know what I told you about mean pranks, son?”

“That I have to keep in mind that a swell gag’s gotta be fun for both me, the jester, and the poor sap I decided to terrorize, yeah?” Tally cut her off, not dropping that grin. “I know ma, no need to keep beating that dead horse. It's already bleeding all over.”

“Yeah…” Jane is starting to sound even more tired. There is a moment of pause, as Jane closed her eyes, counting something from under her breath, before breathing out a long sigh. By the time her eyes once again opened, she looked like she had composed herself. “You do get it.” She raises her hand, placing it on Tally's head to ruffle it a little. “I know you and Harry are good kids, you just gotta… Reign in that catitude a little, alright?”

“Ho ho! You sound like pa!” Tally said between giggles. The patting, for a moment, slowed to almost a halt, Jane’s smile lowering. It did not take long however as almost instantly, it found itself right back. That smile’s faltering was almost an illusion, dropped in an instant as she moved in to cuddle her precious baby boy, chuckling as she ruffled his hair harder.

“I do, don't I?” She said, giggling as her son laughed harder.

Before she could say anything else, it was Harry who spoke next. “Sorry.” He said, looking down on the ground, his foot tracing shapes on the floor. “I thought it'd be funny.” Despite his mostly completely even tone, there is that hint of genuine shame that Rose managed to catch. Jane however, thankfully, also did.

“Come here, dear.” She said to Roxy’s own little boy, as she gently pulled Harry into the hug she's already giving her son.

Soon, Rose sees Jane squeezing the two in an awfully tight hug. “There there.” Jane said, Harry being the only one lightly squirming as Jane rubs his back. “Now please,” Jane began, “would you kindly make a replacement punch for me? I'd rather not have somebody choking on alcoholic gummy worms.”

Maybe Rose should get to that? After all, she doesn't want to go between Jane and the kids’ important bonding moments. Rose was just about to do so, when she was beaten to the punch by a jadeblooded acquaintance.

Swifer Eggmop, was it? Rose paused as she watched the retired auxiliatrix capchalogued the bowl and immediately replaced it with a new one, also already filled with newly unspiked beverage so fast that Rose almost questioned if it was even tampered with in the first place. She would've approached Swifer by then if she didn't notice Kanaya popping out from behind the much younger troll, thanking Jane, who parts alongside the kids.

At that, it's just Kanaya and Eggmop alone. “You do not need to go around serving us.” Rose hears Kanaya say. “Relax, have some fun dear. This is a time of revelry, not of work. And if getting paid is of concern to you, I am not short on cash.”

“Oh geez, no, it's fine Ma’am!” Swifer said. “This is somethin I enjoy. I just love to serve!” She explained. “So please, don't feel bad for little old me, madam.”

She grins, and Rose sees a look of concern slowly find itself in Kanaya’s expression. “Swifer…” Kanaya began, speaking in a tone as if she knew Eggmop intimately. And she probably does, with how long Swifer had been by hers and Rose’s side, at least, before Swifer had to step back. “I know you have been overworking yourself.” Kanaya said, sounding like a disappointed mother. “You are no longer an auxiliatrix. What is happening to those grubs is not your fault.”

Those words almost had the opposite effect, as Rose sees Swifer’s shoulders begin to slump, her gaze going far off as it lowers to the ground. “Swifer?” Kanaya inquired, looking worried at her companion. “Stay with me.”

It takes a moment of pause, and Swifer turns away from Kanaya. She seemed about to say something. And Rose, ever the curious sort, leans in. From this position Rose having found herself in, alone and leaning on a wall, close yet not so much to her wife and her former employee, Rose knew she had to shimmy a little closer if she intended to keep eavesdropping. Come on, she knows the conversation would end the moment she shows up. “I'm here ma’am.” She heard Swifer say. “It's just…”

“Hard?” Kanaya finished for her, and just when the conversation seemed like it was getting somewhere, Rose felt a presence invade her space. A red sweater leaned next to her, and even before the guy opened his mouth, her mood started to sour.

“Greetings my fellow Earth C acquaintance, which is to say, God of the same stature, though I would prefer not to assume our closeness via vague pleasantries of being in a similar class as others seem to do. It's rather insensitive.” Was the immediate thing coming out of Kankri’s mouth, it almost makes Rose want to just up and run. “Please do not be frightened by my sudden approach, though do tell me if my presence is triggering you in some way that I am unable to process at this time. If you have undiagnosed agoraphobia I am also here to lend an open ear. Though that should wait as I have business with you, if you don't mind that is, Mrs Lalonde.”

“...” Rose just stares at him, and he stares back unblinking. It does admittedly trigger a bit of Rose’s healthy curiosity. As what could the more inscrutable Vantas want with her anyways? She leans back. “I don't mind.” Was her answer.

“Good.” Kankri said, his normally mostly flat tone betrays a hint of relief that Rose didn't listen to her gut instinct and just ran the hell away from him. “Now that I have your attention, I wish to open the door once more into listing down your triggers. Now I know you have a bad relationship with wine-” That part does make Rose’s eye twitch. “-but I can assure you we will not be discussing that, or at the very least, we will be threading it with utmost care if we were to consider it a part of the game given blindness we Seers tend to be saddled with. Which, trigger warning, seer privilege, saddle privilege, though that also might be offensive against our hoofbeast brethren so I shall be avoiding that phrase from now on. That being said-” Kankri pauses, mostly to catch his breath, unaware of Rose inching further and further away from him.

“-please take this as an exchange of information. We Seers are uniquely privileged in having the know to these things. It is most imperative we know when and how to provide such information. Of course, that is if you are fine with doing so, as I don't wish to be too pressuring considering the mentioning of possible undiagnosed phobias that maybe even you don't know yet. A blindspot perhaps? Maybe.”

“Look.” Rose finally speaks, raising her palm at him. “While I am not against the trading of vocabulary fisticuffs, I have to stop you right there.”

“I think you are misunderstanding, Lalonde, I am not trying to confront you. To see this as fisticuffs is an indication of miscommunication.” Kankri blinks at her, and Rose takes all of her power not to groan at his face. He may be a lot, but she tries not to be rude.

“It is a matter of speech, Kankri.” She crosses her arms. “And didn't I tell you to stop?”

“Apologies.” Kankri said, his fingers playing with his sleeves as he nodded to Rose. “I am pushing my words to you in a matter that is already making you uncomfortable, and at that, I wish to make my sincerity in terms of apologies well known. If you would find it in yourself to forgive me, in which case, you don't have to be pressured to.”

“...” It is rare for Rose to be stunned speechless. So rare in fact that she is left just staring at him, this time, also unblinking. To Kankri’s credit, for some reason he did take this as the moment to indeed go quiet. So despite the former irritation, he is sincere when he says he's sincere. Another moment of silence passes, before finally, Rose does speak. “So,” she began, “what is it that you want to tell me, exactly?”

“Oh.” Kankri immediately began, almost sounding surprised that he was being given an explicit go ahead to speak. “Yes, my business. Now, I know you told me to, as you put it, ‘stop’, you asking for me to continue shows me you wish for a compromise in me stopping versus me prattling- I mean, continuing onwards. With that, I shall be brief.”

He pauses, taking another moment to just breathe. It doesn't take long however. “I am here to inquire about the currently missing in action, allegedly, fellow former SGRUB player you call Dirk.”

This time, Rose once more paused, though not of annoyance. She tilts her head at him. “Mm hmm?” She hummed. “I don't really know what is there to ask about? He isn't missing in action per say…”

“Yet he hasn't been seen in months, Lalonde.” Kankri said, his eyes narrowing at her. “Frankly, I was worried he might've been grievously triggered without informing us. I wouldn't be befitting of my position as a God as the citizens may say, which is incredibly classist by the way, if I were to not at least check up on the well being of one of my friends, right?” Rose blinked. Friends huh? She is surprised, she didn't expect the red sweatered troll to manage to nab one. Though, maybe that's rather unfair.

“Please.” Kankri said. “I am genuinely worried…” He went on, and Rose is mostly taken aback by this point. Hearing this coming from a man whose head is so far up his ass he can barely see right from left is… Not something she is expecting. Maybe her curiosity is paying off?

She stopped trying to move away, instead, she is stuck in place, as Kankri speaks once more. “So I ask again, in correspondence from Seer to Seer.” He began, still looking into Rose’s eyes. “Can you… Provide me with the address to his hive? I understand that it might be against his rights of privacy, one could even call me homephobic for barging into his safe space like this. But, you should know that yes, this might be a legitimate emergency. And if it means the best for a peer then so be it. I'll take the fallout of this intrusion.”

“...” Rose isn't really sure what to say. She found her fingers fidgeting with the locks of her hair, her face mildly scrunched as she fell deep into thinking. How exactly does she proceed with this conversation? It's not like she has any reason to, nor any desire to provide the red troll with said address. The issue however is knowing Kankri, he would be hounding her for an answer even if she does decline. And she would rather not be haunted by something as persistent as this Vantas, let alone indeed, a fellow curious Seer.

She makes up her mind. "Unfortunately,” she began, “I won't be of much help with that.” She said, looking back into his narrowed eyes. “I am not privy to where the hell Dirk is, and even if I do, I don't think I would give it to you.”

“...” This time, it is Kankri who's surprisingly silent. His eyes are still trained on Lalonde, not dropping its narrowedness for just one moment. It takes a while, before finally, the intense pressure of his stare ceases, with him leaning away. “Alright.” He said, scratching the back of his neck. “I apologize for wasting your time then. It's very inconsiderate of me.”

At that, Rose would witness him pushing himself off of the wall, dusting off his sweater, before proceeding to leave. Though Rose does not dare to let him off of her sight as he does so. She knows full well this troll isn't above spying on people. Especially with Meenah’s stories of him just suddenly popping out of nowhere to cut people off. Rose just stares and stares, and pretty soon, even that bright red sweater would fade into the background. Only then does Rose rest easy.

She does, and finally, she allows herself to ignore the comforting noise of her friends and family mingling. She leans back, propping her neck onto the wall, as she lets her gaze move upwards. Up at the thick glass ceiling where she could see the looming void of space. The darkness peppered with the stars blinking down at all of them, mockingly.

If looks could kill, Rose’s glare would pierce the heavens.

The Seer shall look onwards, onto the fortune she cannot turn away from. This conviction is her greatest strength. She knows where everything is going, and she intends to march ever towards it. This picture may be huge but it is nothing compared to her sights. Introspection shall keep on waiting. There is a light she intends to grab, and she won't be able to if she was left paralyzed doing nothing. It is for this exact reason that Rose is unable to notice that singular blindspot, until it's too late.

Her purple gaze shall shrink into pinpricks, as she witnessed a singular star. Falling.

Directly on top of her.

And then, everything goes up in flames.

–

We immediately cut the day after.

A young woman clings onto her ginormous comfort scalemate, her heart drumming in her chest, her claws digging into her unfortunate plushie till she notices a singular finger of hers finding itself sinking deep into its cottony insides. And she lets go, internally cursing herself for being so fucking careless with her yet again. Only for her to accidentally step on her scalemate buddy, causing it to gush out even more of its cotton like a vomit of clouds in a brutal display of plush gore.

Goddamnit.

She reaches out briefly, before changing her mind, instead, crouching onto her knees as she pats the floor under her creaky bed, looking for her sewing kit. All the while half of her attention is already preoccupied by the news still running on the radio.

“This is your newscaster, Stiner Steele speaking. Rose Lalonde is still making a recovery in an undisclosed hospital after the recent attacks by the Neo Alternian Empire. IN WHAT WAS ONCE A PASTORAL LUNAR ESTABLISHMENT, NOW A SMOLDERING SHADE OF ITS FORMER SELF! ROSE LALONDE HAS AGREED TO AN INTERVIEW, TO PIERCE THE VEIL OF THE IGNORANCE WITH HER IRON TONGUE!” He said, with the Stiner Steele patented way of speaking. “Next up, the weather.”

Knock, knock, knock

Her pointed canine ears twitched at the sound, yet she still attempts to ignore it. A series of knock knock knocks followed, before she managed to drag the sewing kit out of whatever dimension it had decided to hide into. “Hey, Longstocking? Sweetie?” One of her moms spoke, Jade’s voice sounding muffled through the multilocked door. “Are you there? Do you need anything, sweetheart?” She tries to ask again, and Yiffany elects to keep going with her decision to ignore her. The young furry is already having issues getting the thread to cross the needle, she doesn't need any further headaches.

The news keeps going in the background, and Yiffany is barely paying any attention. She knows she is only really interested in hearing of how Rose is doing, nothing more. So by the time she had gotten the thread to cooperate, there was this lengthy commercial break. And a long pause had already passed between her and Jade, Yiffany’s mother being awfully silent as she proceeds on stitching. It is not something she's used to but she knows she'll manage. The needle runs through, a bit jagged across the already long damaged plush. It had been hurt so much that she had to learn to fix it herself. No use relying on Jade, or even Terezi for the job. It is her mistake after all.

It takes a few more minutes before she's done. And she looks at her good enough work, craning and turning the toy to check if she ever missed anything else needing stitching. At that point, she hears Jade speak. “...alright.” Her mother said, a new tone in her lowered voice, almost a whisper. One that Yiffany couldn't fully identify. “I'll see you downstairs then, dinner should be ready.” Jade said, and Yiffany paused. “Love you.”

With her overly sensitive ears, she hears the creak on Jade’s step as her mother turns, about to walk away. Yiffany lets out an exasperated sigh, audible enough to indicate to Jade that yes, she's still alive. Jade’s steps halt as Yiffany places the scalemate down. Jade could definitely hear her shuffling, grabbing her notebook and her pen. She writes, and pretty soon Jade only had to look down to see a piece of paper slid between the door. Her daughter’s words, actually answering her.

“Ok.” Her daughter had written. “Thanks.” She had said. “Love you too.”

Yiffy couldn't see through wood, but she could imagine Jade smiling. There was another comforting bit of silence, before Yiffy sighed, walking back to her bed. By that point, she hears Jade’s steps creak once more, there was hesitation there but eventually she does leave. Her steps noisy, as she walks back down stairs of their fucked up little treehouse. She's probably gonna be busy being a little weirdo with Terezi or whatever. It's not Yiffy’s problem.

“Good afternoon, joining us today is one of our gods and a recent survivor of HARROWING VIOLENCE LIKE THE LEAVES OF A SOMEHOW STILL LIVING TREE STRUCK BY A THOUSAND LIGHTNING BOLTS, SINGED BUT STILL FLYING DEFIANTLY IN THE FACE OF DANGER Miss Rose Lalonde”

“Indeed.” And finally, the radio got back her attention. Yiffy hugs her not clawed out pillow, pressing her chin onto its softness and letting herself sink. It's nice, being able to still hear her voice like this.

She hopes her mom is doing ok.

That's all she could ever ask for.

–

Finally, we cut a little back in time, directly after part of the moon is once again set ablaze.

The fleshy tendrils of the Neo Alternian machinery crawls back, letting go of the young goldblood who falls onto his knees in a messy thud. His limbs shook, covered in slime from the biomechanical battery holder he once was held in. It does not take long for his arms and legs to give in, and he nearly falls face first, only to be caught by the young fuschia by his side. Completely drained of vitality all in service to Her.

She loomed over them, her form towering above them both like a pillar of utter hubris. Despite the darkening of the edges of his vision, unconsciousness calling for him like a sweet lullaby, the goldblood refused. His red and blue eyes glaring daggers into her twisted soul. A righteous anger that she simply dismisses with a flick of her hair. As if it's beneath her. The fury of an ant.

“Dude.” Her voice is low, though that hint of shock in her voice does make one thing clear… “That all you got?” She is just incredibly disappointed.

One of her heirs chuckles, the masculine briefly looking away from her in some effort to compose himself. Quick, he has to make up for his weapon’s- No, friend’s failure, and fast. “Well.” He began, making sure he doesn't sound the least bit unsure. “We did hit.” He said, before raising a hand as his ancestor’s gaze narrowed at him like a dagger to the throat. “You could see it go right through her head, right?” He managed to stammer out. And he is indeed correct, they have hit one of the New Skaian leaders right in the face, all with their new fangled experimental tech and his, Tikkre’s, highly talented psionic friend. Sure, she didn't die, but what more could she ask for? Well, besides her actually dying that is.

He speaks. “It’s one shot, for now.” He tries to explain. “Not even those mutant mustards could do more than that.” He gestures to his still glaring daggers companion. The Empress meanwhile, still seems to ignore the lowblood’s defiance, with Tik not even fully sure if she is registering this anger. “I’m sure they'll be dead the next time it fires.”

“Nah dawg.” Her Imperious Condescension said. “I ain't trusting you with this carp no more.” She sneered, and Tik felt smaller under her gaze. “You got one opportunaty and you blew it. Cod you be for reel?”

“...I'm sorry.” Tik lowers his head. He is charming, but this is his ancestor he's talking to. The fact he's not getting culled right where he stands is already a miracle on its own. Even he knows when to shut up and let the currents do its thing, no matter how alien that makes the great Tikkre Toklel feel.

Her Majesty snickered. “So what’cha gonna do about it, chump?”

Tik finds himself gritting his teeth. But he knew he had to suck it up. His position is already disadvantaged already. Tik parts his lips, about to answer when his friend pushes himself off of his arms. Tik was too taken aback to stop Arkhia, his golden underling, from crashing onto his knees, the man growling like a caged howlbeast. “You…” Arkhia’s throat rumbles with undiluted fury. “Fucking- Fishbitch!” He cursed, crawling on his hands and knees as he tried desperately to will his body into trying to strangle her. To somehow end this and kill the big bad evil bastard once and for all!

Arkhia would feel something hit the back of his neck, and he falls, stunned, but not knocked out. He lands onto his chest with a low groan reverberating from his throat. It was Tik, his companion having troll karate chopped him at the back of his neck, though not too successfully. Arkhia was wide awake as he noticed the back of Tik’s shoes stepping in front of him, right between Arkhia and his quarry. The yellow troll would snarl if he could, but he couldn't move, his body completely spent from being used up then discarded, an unfortunate fate way too many of his yellow brethren were subjected to.

And his greatest enemy is right there, her grin only seems to grow wider.

“We won't disappoint you, mom.” Tikkre said, the man trying to mediate between the two murder ready idiots desperately, except, one happens to be the supreme ruler of all trollkind. “On my honor as one of your children.” He declared, pressing a palm on his chest, knowing it won't do much harm to try to butter her up.

She clicks her tongue. “You better.” She laughed as she raised her trident. “Now, skate off of my sight.” The trident slams, its bottom tip nearly denting the floor, letting out a shockwave that almost makes Tik stumble on his knees.

Tik shudders, as he rushes to pick up Arkhia’s limp form, his companion’s deadly gaze never leaving the despot. Tik would whisper to him “let's go”, and then turn to look back at his mom, giving her a small nod. A temporary act of deference to the highest Neo Alternian authority, before he rises up, absconding. His friend in tow.

Thank Tik for his fuschiablood strength. Even as a mutant male born of the caste he still managed to inherit Troll royalty’s fabled brawn. It made carrying Arkhia off of Her Condescension’s ship a meer breeze. All he had to do now was escape. Which is easier said than done, as his mom isn't known for keeping things that simple. The sounds of heavy machinery makes Tik go into flight mode. Drones are already looming, scanning these halls thoroughly in hopes of finding the both of them. Tik knows this. He fully understands that this is Meenah Peixes they just had an encounter with. That hag ain't just gonna let being called a fishbitch slide.

She will cull them, and she shall draw it out.

They were both already in the cage, Her Condescension could easily afford to play with her food. “What the hell happened?” Tik would hear the words of another one of his companions say, the voice like the singing wind grazing his fin shaped ears. “You missed? How? How exactly could you miss?”

“I don't know!” Tik said out loud, already grabbing his pickaxekind. He didn't really have to speak, this is supposed to be psionics telepathy after all. Or at least, he thinks it‘s what it was? “I guess it's less us missing and more like Arkhia ran out of juice?” He hears Arkhia groan under his arm, clearly offended despite being a ragdoll right now, being carried by the princess like a sack of potatoes.

This is troublesome. Tikkre is strong but when one considers he'd be forced to fight one handed on this most stupid of occasions, suddenly, Tik begins to doubt. These are Security Drones for crying out loud! Big hulking behemoths that can crush him like a soda can. His fishy strength could only get him so far. He could just visualize him and Ark, pressed into each other like two troll skittles and then exploding in pink and yellow goo.

He hears a drawn out sigh dance across his ears. “Well you better get your ass out of there.” His man on the chair said, and Tik rolled his eyes at that stellar advice. He knows full well his man, Eurick Libera, felt his brief annoyance running through their psionic connection. Good, let him. Sadly, there's no real indication that Eurick cared. “We'll be sending you reinforcements.” His correspondence instead said, indeed ignoring that eye roll, before pausing.

“Also…” Eurick began. “Do try not to die.” Oh come on, he sounded like an auxiliatrix talking to a particularly troublesome wriggler. “It'll be so annoying to find a more willing heiress than yourself.” Was his plain statement, not even bothering to hide his own annoyance at all. But hey, Tik did get to him.

Tik grins.

Oh if Tik could crack his knuckles with one hand and still look cool, he would.

“Believe me, I don't plan to.”

The heiress bolts.

STRIFE

Well, less strife, more hit and run, try not to die.

He runs then drops, sliding on his back while making sure Arkhia is on top of him, the two of them skidding between one of the drones’ legs, which immediately alerted it to both their presences. The drone blares a “TIKKRE TOKLEL SPOTTED! TIKKRE TOKLEL SPOTTED!” As red light covers the halls. By that time though, Tik is already on his feet with Arkhia unmoving on his shoulders. Drones are popping from the corners of the hall, and he would rather not be trapped between two or more of them if he could help it. Tik’s legs are already moving anyway. He ain't gonna stop running now.

A drone’s arm raised, and Tik swerved. Its massive claws slam onto the floor where Tik was once on. He dashes around the hand, its fingers having dug deep onto the metal ground, stuck for just the right amount of time for Tik to rush in and smash his pick onto the legs of the drone behind it. The other drone stumbled, trying to reach Tik between its legs, only to fall forwards, on top of the drone that got its hand stuck. The two tangle in a pile of robotic mess, and Tik slips on by, knowing he is still counting on luck, a finite resource.

He just has to…

There!

He never stopped running, the drones never stopped chasing. Maybe they were holding back? They do have firearms and he and Arkhia had been rather shootable. But no, he knows mom. And Tik sees near the very edge of this hallway his one way ticket to salvation. Mom won't let this game end right here and now, so of course there happened to be a large window with no drone guarding it.

Tik winds up his arm, the drones behind him has their claws out, reaching-

And then, he throws.

The pickaxe lands tip first onto the glass. It cracks, and Tik accelerates. Before, bursting, crashing onto the glass like a speeding barkbeast, his sleeves protecting him from the many shards scattering upon impact. He rolls, hugging Arkhia as they both slide into a halt onto the ship’s deck. Only now does Tik realize that well shit.

He's still screwed.

Surrounding him are even more drones. Troll Jeezus, where is mom even getting these drones from?! Oh yeah, some nobody called Lycani. Tikkre reminds himself that should he survive this, which he very well might, he is going to punch drone manufacturing CEO, Lycani, in the face. He grins, all the while the drones inched closer towards him, weapons already drawn. Maybe this is indeed it? Maybe he should just close his eyes, let them take him? Maybe mom has had enough? Yeah, maybe.

“Look up, idiot.”

He does, and Tikkre sees them. His rag tag group of dipshits riding a small space RV. The little ship that could linger above Tik for just a moment, before dodging as drones began firing in its direction. “Come on!!” His confidant cried, Tik seeing his favorite telepath’s hand reach out, urging him. They're here, and there's nothing left for Tik to fear.

And so he does.

Tik leaps the highest he could muster, just as the ship dips to meet him. The drones hesitate for just the right moment, as his telepath’s hand, his Eurick, grows ever closer. Their fingers glances, and Tik hears the familiar sound of a gun cocking before they could reach one another. “Tik!!” Eurick screamed as he reached out, nearly falling off the ship to grab him-

Only for there to be the sound of a gun, firing.

Deafening.

…

..

.

.

.

.

.

Huh

That's all we got so far?

Damn, that was

Eh

Like, if you're running out of materials, honey, you could've just ended somewhere right about…

Here?

You know, the Yiffy thing

What?

…

Dude, no

That's dumb

Look, I ain't paying you to be an artist or anything, you just, you know

Transcribe?

Eh?

Now look what you've done, we're already like, exactly 11,111 words in and you're still going!

Oh don't give me that look, I'm just saying

You do realize this is supposed to be a prologue right?

…

Oh fuck you too then!

Anyways just

Cut this off

We don't want some overly pretentious notes clogging this system already

Makes for bad reading

Whoa- Hey- Hey!

Put down that brush!

Put down that brush!

...

..

.

.

.

Chapter Text

Waking up is only the start of a very very long day.

Today is September 13, which was originally supposed to be the scheduled day for this year’s Grand Returnal. The greatest of New Skaian celebrations, when most of the Gods come down in merriment with their beloved citizens. A rarity in their times of strife, especially with tensions mounting against the Neo Alternian Empire. Yet nay! The people say. Nothing could truly halt such a joyous event rivaling even that of Hanukkah or Gristmas. Nothing!

Except Rose Lalonde getting shot in the face of course.

Longstocking would be lying if she said she had proper sleep last night. It is dumb to admit that she might've doomscrolled a bit too much in regards to Lalonde’s status. The very next day, Yiffy found herself spending what must have been an hour just staring up at the ceiling. See, just because she is now awake, doesn't mean she wants to hop off of the bed with a spring on her steps. That just ain't happening, no matter how much Jade wishes it to be, the witch’s daughter letting out a long groan as she rolled to her side. For a moment, tempted to grab her phone and just continue the endless cycle of scrolling until she wants to puke again.

It’s probably better than grabbing breakfast for herself anyways, if it's even still morning that is. If not, then, it'll be sacrilege to say her food is within the purviews of what is known to be the most important meal of the day. And she ain't ready to shame the great and oh so handsome Gordon Ramsey with such culinary crime, if he'd even care, which he probably won't.

In a rare moment of self care however, Yiffany elected not to. She sets her phone aside as she rolls back to the opposite side of her teensy bed, her sock covered feet touching the ground upon sitting. She yawned, ruffling her hair in a futile attempt to also unravel it. Now if only she doesn't feel weird needing to use a dog brush just to get it right, it'd be swell. At some point, she just gave up trying to not have a bad hair day, instead, rising to her wobbling legs so fast she made herself dizzy.

Now she's up.

Pretty soon the dizziness does wear off, and her gaze is once more straightened from its former swimming state.

Looking forwards in her surprisingly hefty sized room, her eyes unfortunately land on her two biggest posters.

One depicts the great Troll Lionel Messii posing like he's kicking a non-existent footbomb off-screen, the other is the confusingly similar named Lionel Messi, also mirroring the same exact pose as if it's just flipped in Photoshop. Of the two, only the human Messi poster has an autograph signed, as troll Lionel presumably did not survive the destruction of the trolls’ homeworld.

Unfortunate, but that's not what bothers Yiffy.

What does bother her is instead, that very name next to Messi’s own signature that almost always ruins her day, ‘Dedicated to Yiffany Longstocking Harley' it said. She wants to curl up into a ball and become a molluskbeast, she thought.

It's safe to say that she lokey hates the name, enough that she is always tempted to rip the poster off of her wall if it wasn't for some sentimental value. Her meeting Lionel Messi, the human one, is one of the best days of her life, and she'd be damned if her Jade-given name squanders that. Briefly, she wonders why she doesn't just get her new name changed, but that's a topic she doesn't have enough self introspection points to tackle just yet. Hey, at least it isn't her dead name.

She rolled her eyes before proceeding to her wardrobe. Neon yellows, bright pinks, and gaudy greens, the typical things Jade, Vrissy and even Terezi tend to dump at her. They probably mean well, she did like them back in the day. But now, it's hard to communicate just how much she'd rather not have her eyes bleed every time she opens her wardrobe like some sort of Narnia of epilepsy warnings. She’s already unable to speak, she'd rather not go blind as well. No offense to Terezi of course.

There is a white blouse with a purple collar that Rose gave. It immediately catches her eye, Yiffany’s other mother for sure catering more to her taste. She proceeds to grab it, ditching her pajamas before proceeding to take a quick shower, washing the last of sleep off of her, and then drying herself. She then puts on her chosen clothes, layering it with a black blazer as a treat. Damn does she already look better. Even though, if she were being honest, she'd rather just get rid of the bright red suit tie symbol printed on her blouse. It feels so out of place.

But eh, Rose knows what she is doing, so maybe it looks much better on her than she ever considered?

Anyways, she has a job to do. Yiffany cracks her knuckles as she propped herself in front of her desktop, which she just realized she had accidentally left open through the night. Its CPU is hot to the touch, not to mention the electricity bills this must've racked up. Better to shove that thought right back down her thinknoggin alongside her need to check up on her inbox. It's already hard enough trying to distinguish between her childhood buddies’ incessant chattering versus ‘fans’ who have been sending DM requests like they are entitled to a reply.

Let’s see. She had left open the raw footage for her next movie review. It is about halfway ready, though editing the skit has been tricky. She intended to have it as padding to reach the 15 minute mark, though it sorta evolved into this ongoing storyline within her YouTube vids, which nobody besides her really cares about. Folks just don't understand her artistic vision she supposed.

“You..!” She hears the text-to-speech bot say, the scene depicting a dramatic close up shot of one of her custom dolls, the one that basically became her channel’s mascot, Dawg Walker. “You are supposed to be dead!!” Dawg said in shock and horror. And then the camera turned to face the shadow draped silhouette in front of her, a familiar character…

It zooms, and with a loud BOOM sound effect she was revealed. It was none other than Dawg Walker’s evil twin sister, the dastardly Gawd Walker, in the doll flesh! “You forget, sis.” Gawd said. “Always double tap.” The villain finished, followed by even more explosion sounds to really set the tone.

This was supposed to be a review for the remake of Con Air.

Which people seem to hate for some reason. She doesn't need to read her inbox to see it flooded by accusations of being a contrarian for contrarian’s sake. Look, it's not her fault people have zero media literacy these days! Even June, one of the biggest proponents for the reexamining of the original Con Air as a masterpiece, says it's a stupid dumb soulless cash grab. To which Yiffany, respectfully, disagrees.

Anyways, she just shoved her thoughts on why Con Air the Remake is good actually into a small section of the video. Nah, that isn't why people are watching. Clearly the skit is far more important and thus deserves more priority and screentime. Anyhow, we slam back to an epic fight scene between the two sisters. Of course, Gawd gets her ass kicked. The sharp heel of Dawg’s weaponized shoes is placed near her sister’s neck, ready to put her down this time should she do anymore funny business.

“Why did you do it?” Dawg demanded answers. “Why did you betray us, sister??”

“You fool!” Gawd replied, before dramatically coughing out red paint. “I did not betray you, you idiot.” She began. “I was trying to save you!” That's the perfect time as any to add another boom sound while zooming back and forth on Dawg’s expressionless face.

“What are you talking about?” Our protagonist demands elaboration. “Explain yourself!”

And Gawd lets out an evil little laugh. “I'm trying to save you…” Dramatic pause… “From her!” She points, and the camera pulls back to see Dawg turning around, facing a new looming shadow behind her, this time, also a familiar silhouette.

Why, it's the great and monstrous Lady Walker!

Aka. Their mom.

The she-devil, which just so happens to be a gigantic purple and green scalemate, roars. And the two sisters would stand back up and do a fighting post. The camera lingers at them, this should be the greatest cliffhanger she's ever done in any of her reviews! The two sisters’ meticulously crafted character arcs would finally come to fruition, in this final battle none of her viewers asked for. All she has to do now is-

CRASH!

She nearly falls face first onto her monitor. Whatever that deafening noise was, it came from her window. She swears her entire room felt like it shook upon impact. Yiffy turns, seeing her window shattered open. The shards of glass littered her fuzzy carpet, surrounding the pitiful coos of a way too big pigeon looking lussus. To her credit, she rushed to the bird’s aid first and asked questions later, scooping the poor thing up from its roughest of landing spots, off of the glass where it could potentially hurt itself further.

As Yiffy proceeds with putting a splint on its broken wing, she realizes she recognized this creature. Why, it's none other than one of her Uncle Jude’s stupid coobeasts. Yiffy frowns, her mind racing as to how it even got here. A single answer only comes to mind when she considers these pigeon-like things barely ever leave Jude’s side. Oh no.

She sets the bird aside in a cute little shoebox. Briefly, she very quickly opened her bedroom door just to gently slide the box out of her room, before slamming the door shut. Once Jade inevitably goes up to check on her, she'd notice the injured creature and be distracted. This will prove enough time for Yiffy to grab some of her stuff and escape.

She will not go downstairs to greet Jude again. Yiffy knows Jade had inevitably dragged him in for lunch, she keeps doing that. No, Yiffy barely even knows the guy, she doesn't want to sit on the same table again with Jade awkwardly urging them to have a conversation with each other. Jade can't make her. Never.

Yiffy had already had a foot planted on the window frame when she heard a knock knock knock. She flinched, crap, the distraction proved ineffective. She could already hear her through the door, “you alright sweetie?” Jade asked. “Oh! What happened here?” At least Jade sounded like she noticed the pitiful thing. Yiffany meanwhile, does not even grunt out an answer. She already has her phone and some snacks capchalogued. She hopped out through the window, onto the thick branch below.

Now she just needs to scuttle up to the attic as she always does. Yiffany chuckles as she raises her head, only for her heart to drop the moment she sees her just hanging there, swinging on the nooses like they are thick jungle vines. The woman who just so happened to be doing some scalemate spring cleaning. The grinning judge and her mother’s current girlfriend, Terezi.

Oh hell nah.

Terezi sniffs in the air. “Yiffy? That you?” Terezi would hear her growl at the name. “Yep.” She said, giggling. She doesn't need to face Yiffany to know she's got her attention. “Now where do you think you're going off to? You ain't trying to evade your mom again aren't you?”

Oh she's onto her. And as if she is able to sniff out her building anxiety, Terezi laughs. “Oh we have a runaway here, I see.” She now fully turns, right at the direction of Yiffany’s cherry sweet smell. By this point, Yiffy’s ears twitched at the sound of Jade running downstairs. Why she doesn't just fly off to get to her daughter Yiffy doesn't know, and neither does Yiffy care. Her position on this branch is precarious as is. She'd rather not deal with an angry Jade or a taunting Terezi ready to send her back down to the ground, or worse, in their living room.

“Sorry kid.” Terezi said, cracking her neck and rolling her shoulders. “You know I gotta take you in. The law's the law.” Well fuck, there's no amount of charisma checks she could pull to get her to back off. There's only one way to get through this, and it's the Dawg Walker way.

STRIFE!!

She takes out her ballkind, ready to kick and send it hurtling to Terezi’s face. Yet, she did not expect Terezi to leap at her while she's mid-arming herself. Yiffy gasped, jumping to the side closer to the tree itself as the humongous branch wobbled under hers and Terezi’s weight. Double gasp as Terezi pulls out her blade.

And thank fuck Jade had barked enough times at Terezi to get her to realize that slashing at your would-be stepdaughter is a bad look. Instead, Terezi charges and Yiffany ducks. Soon, scalemate criminals rain on top of her as Terezi cuts off their nooses, which should trap Yiffy under them. At least, that was the plan.

Upon seeing the plushies fall, Yiffy immediately placed the ballkind onto her head. She headbutts it, sending the ball careening onto the falling plushies like bowling balls to bowling pins. The scalemates scatter but Yiffany is left unarmed. Terezi seemingly had predicted she would do just that, as the moment Yiffy’s eyes land back to her, Terezi’s hands are already zooming at her face, about to grab her.

Yiffany barely has time to react, she frog-leaps, not towards Terezi, but under her legs. This takes Terezi aback as the older troll stumbles, while Yiffany slides face first onto a roll, the half-canine girl barely managing to stop herself from rolling further downward off of the branch itself.

The branch creeks, drooping with Yiffy at its very tip. The ballkind fell, and Yiffy managed to catch it, just as she briefly looked to see Terezi’s arms waving about. The troll trying to regain her balance. This is Yiffy’s chance. The branch is lowered enough, and Terezi spins around to see Yiffany’s legs curling onto her chest, before bam! She takes a huge leap! The branch being used as her makeshift catapult as she is sent pchoooing in the air.

Youth rolling right out of there, Yiffany barely managed to land feet first onto the attic balcony, even stumbling forwards, nearly on top of her face if she didn't do small tiptoed hops to steady herself. She lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Gasping as it just sank in that she did it. She outmaneuvered Terezi.

Briefly, she looks back down to check on her former opponent. Terezi had managed to cling onto the trunk, Yiffy watching as Jade managed to finally remember that she could actually fly. The older half dog woman had floated up to check on her girlfriend. And at that, Yiffy breathes a sigh of relief, not wasting any more time.

She immediately went inside, shoving the windows close and hiding it behind its dusty curtains. She also went and locked the doors to the attic’s ladders. Now unless Jade decides to blitz through her privacy again, Yiffy could be rest assured that nothing would bother her for the rest of the day. Finally, she found peace and quiet.

She sank to her butt, sighing. The adrenaline had since fallen back down, and now she could feel her energy waning hard. She sat there, waiting for her beating heart to return to its normal pace, when she noticed Jade’s silhouette behind the curtains. Thankfully, just lingering there, and not randomly teleporting into her quiet place like Yiffy knows she could.

“Longstocking..?” Her mom asked, her voice muffled behind the window and the curtains between them. “Are you here?” She asked again. “Can I come in?” There is a long pause after. A common thing considering normally Yiffy had to type out her reply for her phone to read out. Unfortunately for Jade, that reply would not come, as Yiffy elects to tune her out in hopes she would go away.

Part of her feels a little guilty pushing her mother away like this, yet a bigger part of her just doesn't want to deal with yet another argument she's sure would start if she does answer back. Jade can go reconnect with her half siblings or whatever, Yiffy just wants nothing to do with it, no matter how sweet Uncle Jude and his sister turns out to be. And that's final.

Goddamnit, the way Jade just lingers there makes Yiffany’s teeth grit. Suddenly, going online again is much more appealing. She uncapchalogues her phone and began scrolling through Tumblr, or well, Blur, as it is now called. Apparently some dipshit called Lycani bought it? She doesn't know, she doesn't care. It is one of her few sources on what's going on outside, as much as there's definitely much better, much healthier alternatives to this crumbling site.

Let's see… Rose Lalonde news? She's read that. News on the sleeping epidemic? Yep, that as well. Some idiot crying about how much they dearly miss the old Cronus? Yeah, no. Some slop by some carapacian grifter talking about how the universe isn't actually a frog but an ever expanding mass born out of a gigantic explosion? Very funny, but already something she's laughed at. She sighs. Is there even any new trash she could consume that isn't just the same regurgitated bullshit? No?

She can't even doom scroll to save her life. Maybe now she should actually look at her inbox. The red dot of notification had been taunting her for the longest time now, her stare lingering at the Skorpe icon.

Fuck it.

She opens the app, and is immediately assaulted by hundreds of notifications, most of which she ignores. She instead slides on over to a still running memo she and her buddies, Vrissy, Tavros, and Harry, once started. The group is still going strong, brimming with activity despite all the years she’s been barely present. A bit of doubt sets in, as she checks what's been popping inside.

413 messages since 11:11 AM

newstalgicCrunch [NC] had joined the memo at [11:17 AM]

newstalgicCrunch [NC] had withdrew from the memo

She immediately got out of the memo, cursing herself. She hated that. She knows it's only her friends but it still felt like several eyes were staring right at her, watching as if she was shivering alone on an empty stage. She holds onto her arms, trying to get it to stop trembling. Her breaths were quick, as she takes a bit of time to calm herself down.

Meanwhile, she tries getting her shuddering self to slowly turn to the window, noticing that Jade, at the very least, seems to have since left. Now that's one problem dealt with, followed by this brand new one. She waits and waits. And soon, the roaring beats of her heart slows into a manageable rhythm, her nerves ceasing its flight response little by little.

She hears the familiar DING of Skorpe’s notifications bell once again, this time, not from the memo, but her DMs instead. Yiffy had calmed enough to pick up her phone again. There is one person so far whom she accepted direct messages from, and that's the Hooman that Jade forced her to befriend. And for once, she didn't hate it.

artificialMonotony [AM] began pestering newstalgicCrunch [NC]

Yiffy chuckles at that sick burn. But then she realized what type of person she's talking to.

Subtle.

Yiffany rolls her eyes.

Yiffy paused mid typing, realizing what she was sounding like. Quickly, she backspaced her next few words, cringing as she read what she was so close to saying. She has to make this right.

Yiffy stares deep into the ‘AM is typing…’ phrase that accompanies every pause between what they say. Part of Yiffany had guessed what her friend was about to reply, but she, for some reason, still felt nervous all the same.

Finally, her companion does speak.

There was yet another pause. Yiffany isn't quite sure how to keep this talk going after that awkward moment of annoyance made her snap like that. Maybe it would be best to do what Tavros previously said, and skedaddle. That's what she's great at anyways, and it's not like her acquaintance would miss her. They're not that close after all, despite how much Yiffany appreciates her presence.

She was about to do just that when the person at the other side of the screen ended up speaking up.

???? [] has entered the memo

newstalgicCrunch [NC] banned ???? [] from responding to the memo.

Yiffany was left blinking at the screen. Just, baffled.

After a hot minute, she types.

???? [] has entered the memo

newstalgicCrunch [NC] banned ???? [] from responding to the memo.

???? [] has entered the memo

newstalgicCrunch [NC] banned ???? [] from responding to the memo.

???? [] has entered the memo

Yiffany is still staring in bafflement. She swears she's going to have a headache after this.

Who the heck does he think he is? If this is some elaborate bot then she's impressed. How could anybody be this creepy enough to go slide into two women’s DMs and act all cryptic and crap about the world being doomed or whatever? And why does Eron sound like she's used to this? Who is this ‘we’ she's speaking of??

As much as Yiffy’s fingers itch as it hovers over the ban button, she stops herself.

Partly because she is listening to Eron’s advice, but also because, admittedly, she had grown curious enough to let this person keep talking. Again, the weird forwardness and the strange format of their piss yellow text is enough to make her the least bit interested. Maybe they're just some leprechaun starting an elaborate quest for their lucky charms? Though, is that racist to Leprechauns? Yiffy isn't sure.

Piss yellow man continued.

They sent a photo. And before Yiffy could freak out thinking that they were just sent some malware, the image itself made her pause, and squint. It looks familiar. A small, dingy apartment bedroom, with a bunch of metal and machinery all scattered about. It doesn't take that much longer for Yiffany’s eyes to widen, as she happens to be the one person in their chat to recognize it.

It is none other than Uncle Dirk’s bedroom. A rather badly captured photo of it, but it is Dirk’s house nonetheless. Yiffy could only stare with mouth agape at what she was seeing. Her curiosity is being replaced with tangible fear, and then anger, as she glared daggers at the yellow text.

As they said that, a brand new photo was sent. This time, a further close up shot to Dirk’s desk. Yiffy feels rather sick. Despite having seen Dirk’s house a lot already over the years, it still feels like a legitimate violation just staring at his room like this. That is even though he seemed to be away, seeing as he wasn't in any of the frames sent. Hey, at least this person didn't take a picture of him sleeping right?

That doesn't at all help matters.

That rising disgust is enough to keep her from focusing on whatever the hell she's even supposed to be looking at. Fortunately, the Yellow Guy is here to hand hold her into seeing what they actually wanted her to see. Which means more dialogue with this creep. Hooray.

They quickly sent another photo, this time with obnoxious red circles and arrows pointing at said rectangular things. Yiffy clicks her tongue at that.

She admits, gritting her teeth upon realizing she just handed whoever this guy is even more information. Not like they need it considering they clearly are doing fine stalking gods and forcing themself into their children’s DMs. Again, creepy.

Well, good to read that none of it matters anyways. This guy probably has strands of her hair already. Gross.

Yiffany growls. Gods, this person is pissing her off.

But, she has to chill, like Eron said, this person will go away if they humor them a little bit more. As much as that sounds like bullshit, there's really no other choice besides keep banning them or call the authorities. And, in hindsight, Yiffany would honestly rather not deal with the latter. She's already given her mom enough stress, she ain't giving her more things to worry about.

Upon saying that, she slams her fist on the floor. Damnit! Why did she type uncle of all things? Force of habit? Nice going Yiffany. Now they have even MORE dirt on you. She isn't even sure why exactly she was mad. The person did state plainly that they know way more about her than she would ever be comfortable with. She finds herself scratching at her scalp, making the closest thing to a whining noise with her not fully developed cords.

Eron begins, cutting Yiffany off before she says something emotionally charged which she knows she'll regret.

Yiffy despises how much she could imagine them chuckling at that last phrase. If only she had some sort of face to put on the guy, one which she could imagine burying her fists into, that would be nice. But alas, Yiffany could only look at the bright side, even Eron is already showing some semblance of annoyance at this still ongoing conversation. Quite the rare sight indeed, Yiffany is proud of her.

Still, their yellow text invader had to continue.

They began.

She flinched.

She could almost hear it again, that chuckle behind those yellow words.

There was laughter, she swears she hears laughter, as their final words were handed to them both, presented as if on a silver platter.

???? [] took a bow from the memo

And Yiffy and Eron were left sitting there, stewing in their thoughts, not knowing what the heck they actually encountered.

It's only 12 PM, and it already felt like an eternity.

–

His head still hurts.

Arkhia’s palm is pressed against his skull, his face in a deep frown. His limbs still feel like jelly, either because he hasn't regained much of his energy yet, or he's just sore from being comatosed for a whole day. Well, their group isn't expected to do some more high octane action at this hour anyways. Or at least, hopefully not. Arkhia would hate being some useless meat sack getting dragged around like that again, as much as he appreciated Tik and the others’ efforts.

Right now, he is sitting by a bench right in front of huge curtains that serve as doors. The sounds behind it were muffled, so Arkhia couldn't exactly hear whatever their big boss and Tik were currently discussing. He could only speculate, as he pressed his chin onto his palm, his elbow propped on his thigh. Besides him is Eurick, the teal troll sighing as he stares upwards to the ginormous tent’s ceiling, its purple and green dart board pattern barely visible in the dark seemingly leaving him transfixed.

“So…” Arkhia began, “you and Tik?”

Eurick scoffs. “What about him?” He asked, being coy. Arkhia grinned at that, the yellowblood didn't say anything else just yet, just kept smiling at him, though it seems to be enough to get on Eurick’s nerves. The teal crosses his arms, rolling his eyes. “It's none of your business, Ark.”

“Of course.” Arkhia said, raising both his hands in mock surrender. “It's just, whatever happened to your whole ‘this partnership is only temporary’ spiel? You diving in and nearly getting culled for a temporary partner? Damn. You must like that patented Tikkre Toklel fine ass.”

Ok even Eurick found himself snickering at that, at least Arkhia is managing to light up the mood.

“How's the eye by the way.” Arkhia asked, gently, looking at the still bandaged up half of Eurick’s face. The teal had unfortunately been banged up considerably in that daring rescue attempt. What, with getting shot in the eye and all. It's rather miraculous he even got him and Tik out of that mess, at least, that's how their boss would describe it.

Eurick shrugged. “Could be worse.” He replied. “Maybe I could at least get some fancy eyepatch, that'll be swell.”

“Heh.” Arkhia chuckled as well. “Remind me to get you one next time we go out shopping. We did get paid well after that whole mess, believe it or not.”

“Nah.” Eurick shakes his head. “I'd rather have it custom tailored.” He smirks. “Some cheap eyewear ain't worthy of such a glorious battle scar.”

“Hey, we might be loaded but we ain't that rich.” Arkhia said, lightly frowning. Eurick laughs at that. And the back and forth between comrades could've kept going if it weren't for Tik’s head emerging from behind the curtain.

“Hey guys.” Their fuschia friend said. “The big guy called.” He gestures to them two, urging them in. “He's got a hot tub.”

“Damn, he's got a hot tub?” Arkhia said, as he rose to his feet, briefly regretting standing up so fast that his head started spinning. Eurick meanwhile, followed suit, placing a hand by Arkhia’s shoulder to steady him. Soon, they were off, following Tik inside, deeper into the tent where their big boss man resides.

And there he was. His back was turned from them, his musclebound form doesn't even look the least bit relaxed despite indeed being dipped in a hot tub. His waving horns towers over the few trolls able to witness his presence. He turns, his visible scars only seem to grow in number as he fully faces the trio of much smaller adult trolls. That mirthful grin on his face. Plastered on their minds, as if they're in the same position as the poor souls who happen to be at the wrong end of his clubs. A prey to his subjuggulation.

Alas, they are not his victims, at least, this time. A strange warmth spreads across their spines, as a purple glow fills the room. His smile lowering yet not fully falling. Looking less deranged, and more proud.

“There you are, my faithful motherfuckers.”

He chuckles, the entire room rumbling with his low laughter.

“You have made the bitching stars go all hollering with righteous laughter!” He raises his arms, as if embracing the heavens. “This, my nasty ass ninjas, shall not go unrewarded.”

And so, once more, they dance upon the palm of the Grand Highblood’s hands.

For now.

For while the coldblooded bastard remains sitting on that throne…

They will take all the help they can get.

Chapter Text

Purple.

A color that tends to call forth bad memories for our intrepid hero. From the first to touch his heart, to the dripping blood starting to pool under his sneakers. Purple is almost always bad news, and it takes Arkhia all of his basic decency to not see everything purple like a bull supposed does when seeing red.

No, Arkhia doesn't hate the color.

But he sure hates her.

She laughed, clutching her bleeding arm. Even after all of the punishment he dished out on her, she still tries to get the last laugh. Arkhia’s fangs grit as her laughter drowns into pathetic little snickers. “Let me guess…” She began. “You think you won? Is that it? Hero?”

At that, Arkhia’s gaze flickered red and blue, and soon, she was screaming in agony as she was raised to the air, floating, as her body felt the slow squeezing grip of a worthy mustardblood’s psionics. “This ends here, Cheria.” Was all Arkhia said, still managing to hold himself back enough to not crush her ribs like an empty soda can.

There were choking gasps coming from her throat, as her gray skin starts to go pale. Purple blood does turn pale at the lack of oxygen after all. And Arkhia hates that he knows that, just as much as he despises this crawling feeling of fury beckoning him to just let go of his inhibitions. To just do what he knows is within his capabilities. To just squeeze a little bit harder, until her eyes pops out of their socket.

It would be so easy.

She would not be able to hurt him anymore.

And yet…

“No.” Was his answer. “I won't give you the satisfaction.” And at that point, Arkhia was the strongest he's ever been, and yet also, the weakest. His hold on her dropped for just a moment, a single show of mercy that she immediately took advantage of.

And everything turned purple.

That was the last time Arkhia ever truly let his guard down, let alone when confronting someone who was once a clown.

An actual clown is no exception.

The world seemed to darken, as the chill of Kurloz’s chucklevoodoo attempts draped a wet blanket in the crevices of their thinkpans. It is heavy, uncomfortable, and yet, it's hard to push it off of you. It catches the nerve ends of his limbs, tangling like a tentaclebeast drags down its prey. It would be easiest to just let it, to let the tides of the dark ocean embrace him, consume him, the pressure should stop hurting once he's deep enough, right?

No.

“Hmm?” The Grand Highblood hummed, tilting his neck. Only then did Arkhia notice that he himself said ‘No’ out loud. His body is tense, his limbs are trembling, as if struggling in unseen shackles. The Grand Highblood’s stare only seems to burrow further into his skull. Yet, that isn't the only purple he sees.

“Get out.” He growled.

“Oh?” The clown pope said, raising a brow, as if daring Arkhia.

And he takes the bait, and gnaws at it.

“I said-” Arkhia’s lungs took in a deep breath, as his eyes sparked alight once again. A flicker of yellow and purple.

“GET-”

The floor cracks, the tiny debris floats.

“OUT!!!”

And he roared, Arkhia hearing what sounded like tiny exploding glass. Chucklevoodoos, all shattering one by one, forming a circle surrounding him and his friends. With each mini kaboom seemingly making the atmosphere less and less heavy. Soon, Arkhia sees his two friends shaking their heads, their sights cleared as the curse was lifted by force.

Arkhia nearly falls to his knees, slamming a single foot in front of him to keep himself steady. “Ark?” He hears Tik, his Fuschia friend free from the remnants of whatever nasty spell he was put under. Clarity also seems to have long returned to Eurick, the tealblood immediately stepping between Arkhia and the floor, catching the goldblood as he inevitably ended up nearly toppling for the upteenth time these past few days.

Tired once more, it takes a lot for Arkhia to not lose consciousness yet again. Instead, he focused on the clapping he was hearing. The Grand Highblood was indeed taking his time with his slow applause, giggling as his eyes bore into Arkhia’s specifically. Those purple irises almost glowing in its dark yellow frame. The heat rising around them, and Arkhia’s group weren't even in the hot tub themselves.

Finally, the clown pope spoke. “That’s some mad wicked shit you did there. You almost got me feeling fresh, you hear?” He cracks his neck, leaning his back further into the edges of the tub. The boiling water bobbing up in his mass. “Makes a motherfuck forget you were being insubordinate and shit, going on dissing the gift like it's some heretical garbage.”

“Please-” It was Tik who spoke up once again, as he tends to do. “We would prefer you not to try brainwash us like that again, thank you.”

“Phah!” Troll pope waves a large arm, sending water crashing off of the tub and nearly splashing his three audiences. “You ain't down for some clowning? Chill out my man, it's all in jest.” He said, pushing his palms in the air with the universal gesture of ‘it’s just a prank dude.’

Arkhia has this deep scowl though, totally saying that no, he's not letting this slide as just a prank. His head is already still buzzing, and he could've sworn he could visualize Cheria, his nemesis, still wearing that smug smirk at the sight of his continued suffering. Damn her, and damn him. Damn chucklevoodoos all around, and he is so close to saying it. Potentially ending up dooming this stupid business partnership in the process.

Before he could do so however, the Grand Highblood spoke up again. “Alright.” He said. “No more clown partying up in those little heads of yours. Cool, albeit, lameass.” He laughs, finally bringing his arms down and placing it at the sides of his tub, a relaxed posture that showcases who exactly is in charge here. All despite the soft and relieved sigh that came out of Tik at the promise of no more mindfucking chucklevoodoos, at least, maybe for now.

Arkhia isn't getting his hopes up.

“So-” The Grand Highblood began. “How was your day with our bitching ass fish princess?”

Arkhia caught Eurick’s eye light up in rage. “You-” He growled. “You nearly got Arkhia drained!”

The Grand Highblood laughs at that. “Ah.” He snickers, grinning ear to ear at the fuming teal troll. “That's just how my bitch is. I never said your homie ain't gonna get his ass strapped in her engine and made to go skraaaa! You feel me?”

“No I do not feel you!” Eurick screamed and a chuckling Tik pressed a hand onto his teal friend’s chest, the fuchsia grinning himself as he looked up at the highblood with a rather apologetic face.

“What my subordinate here is saying is we weren't exactly ready for what Her Condescension had in store for us, not that your help in getting us a meeting in the first place ain't appreciated.” Tik said, and Arkhia could hear Eurick hold back more growls.

Thankfully however, there is no indication that his barely held back enraged look is of any offense to the Highblood, who proceeds to laugh this off as well. “We did get what we asked for.” Was Tik's quick follow up. And the Grand Highblood laughter grew even louder.

His guffaws made even more boiling splashes. The hot water nearly hits Tik, who takes a fearful step back, dodging it perfectly. Arkhia meanwhile, keeps looking up, seeing that smirk grow. “That you did.” The Grand Highblood said. “And what entertainment it is, seeing you three run around like beheaded squawkbeasts, its neck gushing a motherfucking rainbow all around her halls! Like goddamn!!” He proclaimed, his arms waving like an overexcited wriggler.

Arkhia has no clue what to feel about getting praise from this purple jackass.

“We're glad to see you enjoyed yourself!” Tik said, still in his ‘I am trying to keep everyone from murdering each other' mode, so much so that he doesn't even question how the Grand Highblood even knew of what transpired in Her Condescension's ship. Was he spying on them? Arkhia wouldn't be surprised if he was.

Tik then proceeds to thug at both Arkhia’s and Eurick’s sleeves, as subtly as he could, before continuing. “Now-” He began. “I believe we best be off, we are already even after all?” Were what Tik said. Arkhia notices fairly quickly just how much the seadweller is itching to abscond. Not like Arkhia can blame him. The three of them are already scooching a little away anyways from the hot tubbing murderpope, bolting it wouldn't be an issue.

If they can, that is.

“Now hold your showponies my fat ninjas.” The Grand Highblood stopped them, raising a palm, and Arkhia felt his legs lock up. This time, not even due to some chucklevoodoo chicanery.

“Who the fuck said you can bail out of the show?”

Was what he said.

And the atmosphere seemed to grow heavy once again.

There was a sudden surge of seriousness in his words, as if this, out of everything, this is what offended him. Them leaving him early. To be fair, that might’ve been something Arkhia should've expected. This is the ringleader of their fucked up clown based parody of a religion after all. Why would he want his current source of entertainment to just walk off like that, without a dismissal even.

Arkhia is starting to think that maybe they're in over their heads. They have been playing with a bomb, poking and prodding it to see when it'll explode. And right now, they might've poked enough.

The Grand Highblood laughs once more. The laughter is low, rough, like a prowling roarbeast ready to pounce. His narrowed eyes stare them down, and suddenly, Arkhia feels like he's a small pathetic wriggler once again. The psionic is starting to doubt whether he had truly gotten rid of all the chucklevoodoos back then. Why would he trust a clown's word, especially when promising not to mess with their heads? That's what a clown does!

The gigantic purple maniac speaks. “Don't forget, you owe me, Libera.” He said, and Eurick turns away. Arkhia sees his teal friend biting his lip. Whatever it is that is making Eurick look even more uncomfortable than he already was, Arkhia doesn't know. He's not even sure if he should ask, when the Grand Highblood kept going. “And you.” The Highblood said, eyes flicking quick at Tik, who briefly flinched under his gaze, before almost immediately managing to put himself back together. The man standing up straight like he's being grilled in the fish military.

The Grand Highblood looked rather amused with the display. “Are you for sure going to fuck off without saying goodbye?” He asked, and Tik was clearly taken aback.

“Uhhh.” Tik stammered. “Good… Bye..?” He managed to say, which made the Highblood let out loud laughter once more.

“No no no, you humorless plebian, you aren't skooching off just yet.”

He snapped his fingers, and a couple of no-named trolls stepped forwards. Behind them followed the clanking of chains, and Arkhia and his buddies turned to see the shadowy silhouette of a heavily bondaged figure. Their teeth visibly snarling in the dark before rising in a full on roar upon their owner getting forcefully yanked. “God- Fuck off!” He cursed, thrashing in his chains as he was pulled into the light. Arkhia’s eyes widened at the sight, a familiar troll dragged before his eyes.

“This here is one of my blood-soaked legacies, Louces. I'd be throwing this sick ninja at you for a hot minute. He'd be useful for the wicked shit coming your way soon.”

Arkhia’s gaze is still transfixed to the restrained troll, whose own gaze refuses to meet Arkhia’s. An awkward silence persisted between the two former friends, before being interrupted by what Arkhia identified as Tik speaking up. “What wicked shit?” Tik had asked, and Arkhia could hear the Grand Highblood shifting on his seat with how the water splashes out of its tub.

“Hah! You haven't heard?” He began. ”While you're off trapezing the motherfuck out of the she-witch’s lair, some big shot just got themselves snatched! They sown their doom and now the retribution finally caught up to their sinning ass!” He said, giving a legitimate straight answer for once, while of course still cackling like a mad man. “By Messiah’s tits she was straight up bugging, a heathen but a bugging heathen still!” He said, by this point the laughter lowers to a snicker. “...I know you know why I'm giving you these deets. The grand plan the Mirthful Messiahs hold for us all after all, bubbling that wicked elixir of life.”

Arkhia had managed to pull his eyes away from the still furiously flailing unwelcomed newcomer, and land it onto Tik, the fuschia rubbing his chin before it very quickly clicked. “You want us to spring a rescue mission.. To get back into mom's good side?” Arkhia hears Tik murmur, and that snicker coming from their purpleblooded boss grows to a cacophony of evil sounding laughter, once again the noise flooding their already rather large room.

“Yes!” He slams his palms together. “You get it! See, this is why you got me all up and supporting you! You’re wise for a fishnasty simpleton.”

“Ok..?” Arkhia noticed that errant twitch on Tik’s eyelid upon that stupid insult. Tik says nothing about it though, instead, gesturing back at the growling mess that is Louces, which the Grand Highblood had his cronies drag in.”That doesn't exactly explain this though.”

The Highblood snorts. “Oh that?” He began. “See, you ain't paying attention.” He gestures by pressing his index at the side of his head. “That motherfucker’s got my blood, you see. All that holy purple juice swirling in those veins. My little man. My successor.”

“I'M NOT!!” The chained troll screamed, pulling at the chains like a barkbeast on a leash. “You are not my goddamn lussus you hear me!”

“Please.” The Highblood chuckles, low. “Not in front of our guests.”

“You know, that explains a lot actually.” Arkhia found himself saying, he couldn't help it, he's desperate for some levety and an insult aimed at this guy he once cared about seemed perfect. He was then met by the most venomous glare coming from another troll that he’s ever received. And yet, Arkhia met that glare head on.

“Fuck you.” The Makarist heir snarled at his former goldblooded friend. Which Arkhia, simply elects to just ignore.

“Ah! You know my dude?” The Grand Highblood sounded excited. “That makes shit easy then.”

“No, it does not.” Eurick snapped, now obviously done with these word spinning shenanigans that seem to be going nowhere. “We are not taking a… Another purple.” He sounded like he was about to say something more offensive, only to stop himself halfway. Arkhia knows that if he was the one speaking, he wouldn't have had the same restraint this clearly annoyed Eurick still has. “I’d say, you don't have to lend your… Descendant, to us.”

Arkhia saw the Makara son briefly pause in his futile struggling, all to roll his eyes. Arkhia scoffs at the sight, earning him another glare. “Of course not my homie.” The Grand Highblood said, not at all heeding what Eurick was insinuating. “No, you of little faith best get that believing on. How are you motherfuckers supposed to find your heroic destiny without this sarcosanct shit I am lending you?” He said, for a moment, his stare burrowing deep into his child’s skull.

“Of course. Oh yes, we got you!” It was Tik who again, took a step forward, all to talk before Eurick and Arkhia could even have yet another chance to run their mouths off. Now that the Grand Highblood seemed to be in good spirits. Maybe he'd finally let them go?

Alas, he couldn't account for this new subordinate, Louces, he is being forced to recruit.

“I'm not your toy.” Louces said, a sharpness in his tone. “I'm not some fiduspawn creature you can pass on to whoever- What gives you the right? What the actual fuck gives you the right to keep doing this to me?? Huh?!”

“GRAH-” He shrieks as he is pulled. The silent purple guards, which they now realized are some of the rarely seen mime laughassasins, held their prisoner by the scruff of his neck. They didn't need to speak to make it clear to every person watching that their new purple ‘friend’ had been out of line. In fact, he hadn't been on the line for quite some time now. And a laughassasin doesn't need to commit murder to punish a particularly rowdy boy.

Whatever advantage he may have had as a relative to the current Grand Highblood doesn't seem to matter. Especially not when his ‘dad’ is visibly approving of his son’s manhandling.

His father snaps his fingers again, ignoring the renewed roaring and thrashing Louces is doing. “The culprit’s some stale ass bitch called Mindfang. I bet my ass you've heard of her?” They have, though any words of confirmation were interrupted by a sudden yell coming from Louces. Something's happening, and they turn to face it. “Good.” The Grand Highblood said, ignoring the growing terror-filled desperation Louces is exhibiting upon seeing one of the mimes holding what seemed to be some sort of tiara. “My boy here ain't the only motherfucker you'll need for this rescue run. Nah, there shall be other hoes you have to roll into your posse, like a blessed gruburitto with mighty wicked scarrabalsa.” He said, the hype getting to him further. Before his tone lowers. “…I'll be slinging these deets to you soon.”

“What are you doing?” That's good and all, yes, but Arkhia couldn't help but ask as he watches Louces jerk violently away from the tiara. “Stop this.” Arkhia said, moving towards the mimes. “I said stop-”

Arkhia then found himself halted by Eurick grabbing him by the shoulder. “Ark- No.” Comes from Eurick’s mouth, and Arkhia could only turn to stare at him in sheer baffled horror.

“What do you mean no? We can't just-”

“ARGH!!!”

The three of them flinched, turning their heads to look back at the mimes having successfully slapped the tiara around Louces' head. “Get it off-” The purple heir gasped, grabbing at the thing. “Get it off! GET IT OFF! ACK- GRAAAAAAAH!!!”

He screams blood murder, as Eurick, Arkhia, and Tikkre witnessed Louces writhe in utter agony. They couldn't understand what's going on, only that the headwear was lightly glowing in a faint purple, the Makara symbol of the Capricorn blinking in and out of what appears to be the jewel at its very center. And Arkhia didn't waste any more time. He yoinked his shoulder back from Eurick, before rushing to Louces’ side.

“What are you doing to him..?” Arkhia hears Eurick ask while he himself is in the middle of holding onto Louces, fearful he'd somehow hurt himself further. “Oh just a little contraption to keep my wicked spawn in check. It ain't much of a big deal.”

“Get it off him.” Arkhia said.

“Ark.” Eurick shoots him a glance. “Don't-”

The Grand Highblood simply raised his brow at him, wearing that challenging smirk. That, and the agony he is inflicting on who he claims as his kin, makes Arkhia’s blood boil. He may not like Louces, but he doesn't deserve this, nobody does. That hint of purple returns at the edges of Arkhia’s vision.

“I said-”

“Get it off him!”

Arkhia snarled, insisting. He was about to rise and maybe charge if he wasn't grabbed by Eurick yet again.

“Arkhia!” He hears Eurick. “Calm down. Snap out of it.” But it is getting harder to listen, his voice is getting drowned by the growing static in his brain. A fog of rage swept in him.

“Ok ok, we may have to go now, Highblood sir.” Poor Tik, trying to finally put a lid in this convo. He would've skedaddled with the group a long while ago but he's stuck deescalating several bombs at this point. Too bad Arkhia isn't having it.

In his fury, he shoved Eurick away. “You!” He gets to his feet, not charging just yet. Instead, he marched forwards, looking up at the Grand Highblood who had the gall to just chill in his hot tub while his own son cries in pain. “Why?” Arkhia began. “Why are you even ‘helping’ us? Huh? Chatting us up with your fakeass lowblood way of speech, instead of just splattering our blood all over the walls like you totally want to? Are we a joke to you?!”

There was a pause, Arkhia clenching his fist as he felt the tension rise. This is it. He may have truly pissed off the much feared head of all clown junkies in all of Neo Alternia. There's no way he wasn't angry. If he ain't, the Grand Highblood would've been laughing up a storm right about now. And not giving the hardest of stares onto Arkhia’s slightly trembling form. It's almost like he's crushing a grub. Who is he kidding? Arkhia is basically an insect in his eyes.

Arkhia had a good run. If he were to indeed be splattered onto the walls here like he said, then he's fine by it. He just hopes that if he is indeed bringing on the wrath of the biggest baddest murder jester in the galaxy… that the Grand Highblood is only pissed at him and not the others. Hell, maybe they can take this as an opportunity? Maybe they could run and get Louces away from here while Arkhia goes out swinging fending off the scariest of all jugallos?

Isn't that what heroes do?

He awaits for the pain to come, daring not to look away from the Grand Highblood, no matter how much his instincts are screaming for him to.

The papal purpleblood slowly rises to his feet, standing up, and almost causing a huge tidal wave with his now cooling bath water. He stood waist deep under, and yet still, there is a significant gap in height between him and Arkhia. One could almost imagine how easily he could tower over Arkhia and his friends at full height. How easy it would be to just flick Arkhia off and break all his bones in the process. Or maybe it's just the intimidation talking? Arkhia is currently in a position akin to a frozen rabbit staring at an oncoming freight train. There's no use hopping away now.

After what felt like forever, the Grand Highblood finally speaks.

“Now you best keep in mind what comes out of your mouth boy.”

He said, as a sharp grin starts to grow on his face.

“Mad props to you though for getting me good.”

Instead of the anger he was expecting, the Grand Highblood smirks, that grin nearly splitting his face in two with its width.

He raised his arms.

“It is you who actually understood the divine motherfucking truth! You I say!!”

He declared, eyes landing hard onto Arkhia who for the first time, found himself taking a step back.

“Why buck off now when the biggest clown show of this entire circus is right in front of us? All taking that sweet ass thorny crown after our dearest Dark Messiah croaked… What other holy providence would make me wanna spare your worthless fucking lives, eh??”

And he laughs, and laughs, and laughs. The hilarity makes the tent tremble, Arkhia and his group having no clue whether those are actual earthshakes or if they were just that terrified. “You have done nothing but impress me.” He said.

“Do not dare get greedy.”

“But-” Somehow, Arkhia still had it in him to protest, but at this point, he was yanked hard by Tik and Eurick, who are also dragging the still in agony Louces.

“We have to go!” Eurick insists. And thankfully, even Arkhia seemed spooked enough to not resist while getting pulled.

“We thank you sir for… All of this then!” Tik said, glancing back just to check if Arkhia and Louces are able to leave. It seemed so as the mimes weren't doing anything to stop them anymore. “We can't thank you enough! Can we go now?”

Their gracious host snorts. “You were always free to depart.” Now that is a lie, and everyone knows it.

“Before you bounce, I have one favor to ask.” He began, and everyone held their breaths.

”Do please bring my baby boy back to thy blessed crib? Ok?”

Tik chuckles, letting out that held breath in relief. “Ok.”

And finally.

They are off.

The crisp air out of that stuffy tent was the real heaven to their collective lungs. Exiting from whatever that conversation was, the group almost tumbled on top of one another in their rush to get out of the Grand Highblood’s den as soon as possible. On hand was Louces, who had since stopped screaming and writhing. Because by this point, either whatever was ailing him had finally halted, or he was simply utterly drained from all those fruitless attempts at escape, maybe even both?

Eurick meanwhile, was the first one to actually get a good look at his restraints. He touched the lock, only to hear it click before unlocking itself. The group realized that damn, these were just joke cuffs that Louces had failed to get out of. Still metal yet deceptively easy to remove, unless you threw calm out of the window and panicked like Louces did. It's almost as if the Grand Highblood anticipated his kin's every move. A cruel joke that a father slammed heavy onto his hapless boy. Such is to be expected of the Makara religious head. And Louces, now drained of any more fight at least for now, just laid there, taking it.

The now group of four had indeed found themselves outside. The air is filled with ambient honks and the occasional balloon poppings. A legitimate carnival that's weirdly rather sparse of actual clowns. The shortage of people chugging faygo or praising some dark messiah is rather strange. Or at the very least, it clearly wasn't what Arkhia was expecting when he heard there were still some nomadic clowns roaming about. And with how apparently fractured their belief systems are nowadays, Arkhia found himself wondering how they're still managing to cling on. Those clown civil wars are no joke.

Thankfully, the few remaining devotees to clownhood are oddly nice, or at least, those within the Makara sect that is. Arkhia has little to no knowledge of the other denominations, though he presumes that the worry his and his friends kept receiving from them weren’t exactly common. It’s almost like they were worshiping them…

Then again, a lot of the random circusgoers they ended up speaking to were also offering various forms of illicit drugs and were pretty visibly high, so maybe Arkhia was being too charitable? If not to their intentions, then to their capacity to still think straight.

Alas, the tiny sea of worried clowns and loving devotees does easily part, as Arkhia and his group easily swims past them onto the direction of where they had their space RV docked.

Arkhia sees Eurick behind him, carrying Louces like a groaning sack of potatoes, the sight making him roll his eyes. Tik was right between them when Arkhia heard him murmur.

“Well that was fast.” Tik chuckled, once more rubbing at his chin as he stared at his phone without pausing in his steps. “Our clown overlord had already sent us the deets as he said. The man is expects us to go on this recruitment thing before we actually do what we’re supposed to do. Which is, you know, do that daring rescue.” “Why are we even listening to… Him, anyways?” Once more, Eurick seemed so close to just outright saying an insult, only to hold himself back knowing they are still in clown territory. Once again, Arkhia is jealous of his restraint.

They hear laughter, their gazes all moved to Louces who is just snickering, all the while allowing himself to be held like some sort of handbag under Eurick’s grip. Pathetic, Arkhia thinks.

Louces however, speaks. “What? I ain't exactly free to go against him, right now at least. But you?” He snickers again. “This guy's right.’ He gestures at Eurick. “Why are you all acting like his bitch?”

“You know, it'd be really easy to just drop you.” Eurick said, causing Louces to give him a knowing smirk. At least it isn't yet another cackle. Arkhia is already quite clearly fed up with that.

“Heh, like you would?” Words like this makes Arkhia remember just how much he despises this man. That being said, he still has enough restraint left in his system to not take this obvious bait. Arkhia instead, quickens his pace.

“We won't be dropping people tonight.” Tik said, filling in the silence before either Eurick or Louces could speak once more. “Ok so, about what he sent me...” Tik began. Arkhia meanwhile, is barely able to pay attention when their great leader did swerved the topic away from Louces’ attempts at being infuriating. Not that Tik noticed as he kept going regardless.

“So apparently we gotta find a blueblooded fellow called Puchoo, and another called… Ikouze? Weird name, don't even know how to pronounce that one.” He said, before shrugging. “But that's all I got. The boss didn't even give us a blood color.” Tik said, smiling, meanwhile his words seem to spark something in Louces, his eyes widening in obvious familiarity.

“Oh goddamnit, of course.” Louces said. “My asshole old man went and threw me at you lots just so I can point in the general direction of two dipshits? Woo hoo.” He sounds so defeated, but at this point, Arkhia is barely paying any attention. Louces truly ruins most conversations for Arkhia, it can't be helped.

As the group continues their way to their ship, Arkhia finds himself unwillingly looking back at his memories. He isn't a person who hates so easily, no, there's a rare few who earned said hate. One is Cheria, another is a woman he'd rather not think about, and another is a friend who had failed him one too many times. A friend who refused to take accountability for all of his mistakes and basically abandoned him after it all went down.

That, is Louces.

And yet, part of him wishes he could go back. Right back at those good old days when everything is fine.

If only time travel exists.

Only about a month had passed since Arkhia lost him.

There was only a small funeral, nobody else but Arkhia and Louces really cared about him, their dearest friend called Rolf, enough to fork boondollars for an empty casket. And yet, here they were. There was no actual ceremony or celebration of a life. There was just what's basically an empty box being lowered to the ground, before the earth was dumped on top of it. And just like that, to the uncaring world, Rolf is gone.

But deep down, Arkhia doesn't believe it. There was no corpse, maybe instead there is hope. Maybe he should have more faith that whatever was down in those caverns hadn't finished him off just yet. Rolf was indeed like a roachbeast, much tougher than he looked. There is a chance and Arkhia is going to hold on to it. Even despite how foolish he may be.

“Louces…” He began, raising a hand and was about to place it on Louces’ shoulders. The man however, shrugged him off. “Look, it's alright.” Arkhia tried to say, tried to get him to hope as well, only to be met with the coldest words he's ever heard from somebody he once considered a friend.

“He's dead.”

Louces said.

The way it came out of his mouth, the lack of quip or even a badly timed insult akin to what Arkhia mostly expects of Louces, made it quite sting. And yet, Arkhia tried to not hold it against him. He is hurting, they both were. Arkhia drops his hand to his side, replying in a far gentler tone. “If you need to grieve, grieve.” He had said. “But I am here, I won't stop being here, especially when you need anybody to talk to, Louces.”

Arkhia waited, watching. It was already taking him everything to not just break down crying. This silence between his words and Louces’ possible reply was hellish. Arkhia understands that he may be expecting too much, wanting Louces to say that he's fine and that he's there for him too. Ok, maybe that's just asking for basic comfort, which he definitely needs right now. Still, it feels selfish. Not everybody is strong enough to just shrug off grief like that, even Arkhia is unable to do so, no matter how much he acts like he could.

Finally, Louces turns away. And Arkhia witnesses him closing his eyes and sighing. He gives Arkhia one last look, his gaze looking blank, a far off stare despite turning to face Arkhia.

Louces then, finally, speaks. “Alright.” He said, plainly. “You too.”

That was at least some assurance, despite how small it is.

Louces would then begin to take a step back, before turning to walk away. Arkhia watches his back turn, Louces not even giving him one last glance before saying “take care of yourself, alright?” At least he sounded like he cared.

Arkhia gave him a shaky smile, all despite knowing Louces wouldn't actually see it. “I will.” He said, knowing it's probably a lie.

And Louces walked away from him that day, one of the last times they ever got along, before it all fell down.

If only Louces didn't screw it all up, for him and Arkhia.

By the time they reach their space RV, Arkhia rushes to his room. He clicks the door lock behind him, taking a long and deep breath as he leans his back on the door, sliding down till he falls on his behind, hugging his legs close to his chest as he closes his eyes.

Finally, it's quiet.

He remembers when his abode is more put together. In place of this mostly functional and pretty empty space, was once his room back when he was just a boy. That childhood respiteblock filled with posters of his fave superheroes and random historical figures he looked up to. He had desperately wanted to be one of them back in the day. Back when he was just a little grub. And now…

He wonders if that room still exists now.

Probably not, it's been abandoned for gods knows how long. All those figurines and pictures sold at some yard sale somewhere, or thrown at a ditch. Arkhia feels rather childish, feeling sad about it. It's not like he has a home anymore, what with how long he's been gone. All he had was a faint memory of when things were simpler, back when he dreamed to be something more. To be something greater.

And now?

He is indeed, something more, something greater than that kid with big dreams and a hunger for justice.

Alas, here he was now.

He hears a knock on the door.

“Hey.”

He hears Eurick at the other side, for a moment, he finds himself wishing it was Louces. Alas, he shouldn't expect for him to be the one to approach him. It is Louces after all. “Sorry if I'm bothering.” Eurick said. Arkhia could hear him leaning on the door as well. “It’s just, you looked like you weren't doing too hot these past few days.”

Arkhia doesn't answer, only listening to Eurick who seems to know he is indeed taking in his words. “I get it, what those bastards did to you was a travesty.” At this point, Arkhia doesn't even know which bastard Eurick is talking about. “Just… Don't bottle it up alright. I am here, I won't stop being here, especially when you need anybody to talk to, Arkhia.”

Those final words hit him hard, Arkhia was stunned into silence for a moment, feeling his chest squeeze. He isn't even fully sure why he was taken aback. Maybe it's because he long ago wished for Louces to say it, though now he's sure he won't. Of course he wouldn't.

The silence between him and Eurick lasted longer than Arkhia intended. He was only brought out of his stupor by the sound of Eurick pushing himself off of the door. “I'll leave you to it then.” He said, and Arkhia was unable to identify the tone in his words. “Alright, see ya.”

“Wait.”

Arkhia cuts him off, and he hears Eurick’s steps halting with his words. “...thank you.” Arkhia said. “Really, I can't thank you enough.”

There was another pause.

“...of course.” Was all Eurick said, before leaving. If that's how he says you're welcome then Arkhia's gonna take it. He hears Eurick’s footsteps grow farther and farther away, till he's back to the calming silence. At least now his chest isn't as heavy.

Arkhia cranes his neck up, looking up at the ceiling. This is it huh, yet another task handed to them by their shady boss, all in favor of one day pulling their queen off her throne. Tikkre promised that at least.

Arkhia’s fist clenched, a renewed flame sparking within him.

He can't wait to take them all down.

At that, a spark of purple can be seen flickering in his gaze.

She will never hurt them again.

–

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering acerbicTranscendent [AT]

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering acerbicTranscendent [AT]

Davepeta groggily looked at their phone. It is unfortunate that despite their nocturnal instincts as a cat crow truman thing, they just happened to not have had good enough sleep these past few days. It's hard to even tackle why, they prolly just messed up their sleep schedule again. And like, where do you even go to get a check up for this? The doctors? A veterinarian? Do sprites even have sleep schedules?

Despite their infinite wisdom apparently, they have no idea.

Still, they're anything but unhelpful, at least, that's what they think of themselves.

So here they were, flying to Terezi and Jade’s weird little treehouse in the middle of nowhere, like some old fairy tale forest hags. Their words, not Davepeta’s. Briefly, they wondered if they should go ask them about taking their kid out for a bit. Or maybe not? It takes a bit while they were in the middle of their sky highway. But after some time, they decide to be the cool cat bird truman uncle thing and opt for straight up kidnapping.

“Yo.” They said as they shove the balcony window open. It made Yiffy to flinch and let out a soft yelp. She probably would've screamed but alas, her vocal cords. This is good though, perfect for the attempted kidnapping of one of the gods’ daughters. What could possibly go wrong? Oh gods, their own thoughts sounds like Bubsy 3d.

Well, they seemed to have broken the balcony window’s hinges. Oops. They'll get that repaired later, they are mad loaded anyways.

They give the currently calming down Yiffany a wave. “Hey, the hero is here. Big-impawtant-girl-me said that I should go check up on you, so here I am, not that I didn't want to check up on you either little miss. Hope that the discount version ain't too bad, nya?”

The look of a tired ‘really?’ is Yiffy’s reply. Fair enough, they busted into her house and broke her window. “Anyways.” They said, kicking dust around the floor in contemplation of what else to say. “Wanna head out for a flight? You know, something to get you out of catastrophizing for a bit? Wait- Cat-astrophizing. Damnit, I still suck at this.”

Yiffany gives them a blank stare. “I mean…” They pause for a bit, realizing that they are being hypocritical by offering a get out of jail free card for an anxiety attack, only to do some good old fashion self deprecation in the same breath. They also realize that paws is a good pun for pause, and that they must put that in good use later. How is Nepeta so good at puns? They have no clue, and that is despite the amount of Nepetas running around in their memories.

“Yeah, don't do that.” They finally finish their thoughts after leaving Yiffany hanging for a bit there.

Yiffany then immediately answered by raising her hands, moving her fingers in the sign for “don't do what?” Clearly, she was confused. At the very least Davepeta can understand sign language, with it being easy to access any memory of a Nepeta who had spoken and learned from Meulin.

“You’ll figure it out, anywho, fly? Now? Want to?” They asked, way too aware at how creepy they are sounding as some creature asking a young woman to go flying off in the middle of the night, like some neon colored mothman. Do mothmen even take young women hostage? They have no clue. Why are they musing this? They don't understand.

Yiffy pauses for a hot second. Thinking as well. Davepeta is guessing that they are hesitating due to expecting Isadora, their main self. It's fine, maybe the Davesprite in them would feel iffy but they themselves don't really mind. Strider is busy anyways, why else would she ask for them to check on her niece. Actually… Should they ask? Their paws started to grab at their cellphone when Yiffy finally responded.

She grunts, indicating she is speaking. Her hands began moving again. “Sure.” She said in sign language. And that was truly all Davepeta needed to spring into action.

“Pawsome!”

They finally got a pun right! Now the operation to steal the Harley-Lalonde pup is a go!

Yiffany yelped as she was suddenly yanked by both arms as Davepeta dived backwards off of their balcony. Once again, she'd be screaming if she could. Especially as Davepeta unfurled their wings and and flapped way too nearly onto a nasty branch. They could've easily slammed into that if Davepeta wasn't thinking, which, to be fair, is only most of the time.

They flap and they're off, Davepeta hugging Yiffany by her waist, as they rise higher and higher into the starless sky. Her torturously beating heart only started to slow as Davepeta’s grip on her tightened. Grounding her despite ironically being so far off from the ground. Now they are in flight, gliding at a comfortable pace after such a rough take off.

Huh, maybe they could indeed do Isadora’s job well, at least, much better than they expected from themselves.

Though maybe that's Davesprite talking.

“You doing good, Longstocking?”

“...” And in their dumbassery, they just realized that in this position, there's no way for Yiffany to sign her thoughts, let alone type on her text to speech device. She does let out some whines, which Davepeta doesn't fully know how to interpret. It doesn't sound distressed at least, which is fine by them.

They rise higher, even further up until they reach the clouds, Yiffany shaking off the cold water from their hair. Looks like both of them are drenched. Yeah, this flight is going horribly, and Davepeta knows that. Yiffany groans. Ok, maybe they should lower the altitude just a little bit then. Davepeta slows down, letting themselves fall softly just to the point Yiffany’s shoes touch the fluffy clouds underneath her. She doesn't make any noise but she does curl her legs onto herself, definitely uncomfortable. Just like how the flight is going right now.

“Apawlogies.” Davepeta said, realizing most of their puns have been paw related, or should they say pawns? Nah, that's stupid. Like how stupid their lack of pun skills is as well. “But I think I'm bad at this. Maybe I should've asked where you wanted to go first before yoinking you out from under Harley’s nose huh?”

“Arrrummph.” Was the noise that came out of Yiffany’s mouth, the girl managing to shimmy out one of her arms from Davepeta’s grip. On hand is her uncapchalogued phone, where she proceeds to try to quickly type something with her single available arm. Of course, trying to type something from this angle is easier said than done. After some struggle, she did manage to get something out however.

“Look down, idiot.”

Her text to speech bot said. And Davepeta does, their eyes landing onto where the clouds had parted, onto the New Skaia city below. Immediately, it was made clear to them what Yiffy was trying to make them see. Davepeta’s eyes sparkled with the sight.

As if making up for the dimming of the night sky, the lights down below glisten like a galaxy stretched into a wide carpet. The multicolored neon glow looked utterly magical from the position they and Yiffany were flying at. The memories of every Isadora, of every Dave, and every Nepeta, does not at all compare to the wonders that they have created. This scientifically advanced metropolis that was once a simple can town. A dream that not even President Mayor may have thought of. A world that Davepeta was a part of molding, this utopia built for them and the children after them. Children, like the now adult Yiffy.

Davepeta’s gaze looks further downward. There they see her still in their grip, Yiffany, her own red gaze sparkling with awe, clearly the first time she's seen her home from this angle. At that, Davepeta’s doubts seem to temporarily wash away. Like hey, maybe this venture is more successful than they thought? They shouldn't ruin it now. They should simply shut their mouth and let the atmosphere be, the beauty flowing all around them now that they are caring to look.

“It's pretty.” Yiffany’s text to speech bot said. “I wish I could show Rose this.”

“We could.” Davepeta said. “I could fly, you know? Getting us to sister over there wouldn't be a problem. At least, I don't think she said anything about being busy today, what with getting shot in the face and all that.”

They laughed, before they trailed off, realizing how fucked that joke was. Yiffany was quiet, too quiet. What was that about not ruining the atmosphere? Yeah, they did just that. Stupid stupid Davepeta right? They are starting to feel bad.

Until Yiffany finished typing her next AI read sentence. “Please.” It began. “Take me to Rose.” She said, typing even more. “I would love that.”

It takes another moment, but with that, Davepeta smiles.

“Well then, whatefur you say. Your wish is meow command. Hee hee.” Those are some B tier puns but it doesn't matter.

So long as they're making her happy.

They descend onto where Rose was hospitalized. Onto her very home, attended by Kanaya and her many servants.

Davepeta can feel the pattering in Yiffy’s heart. She, and by extension, them, cannot wait.

Hopefully, Rose wouldn't mind some late night visitors.

–

We cut to Rose’s room, the discarded test tubes litter her place of healing, like old Terran pollution.

She has to stop this.

But she can't.

She won't.

“You don't have to look so astounded all the time, darling.” She said to Kanaya. “I'm quite alright you see, felicitous even.”

Kanaya looks unconvinced.

The Jadeblood speaks. “I supposed you are doing well for somebody who had consumed much of the ████ ██████.” Despite everything, saying those words still makes hers and Rose’s head spin. “But we do not know enough about its long term effects, not to mention on a human body. Please, can I ask you to at least slow down, my love?”

At that, Rose laughed.

“Why? It's not like this matters anyways. All of this, would be scarcely of any consequence.”

And she takes another drink.

Her veins shimmering, a rainbow under her skin.

It's fine.

She thought.

It'll always be fine.

She is sure of it.

Chapter Text

So, actually dropping off the kid was quite the trouble.

Not only is it late at night with zero notice, but it turns out, Rose wasn't even staying in her house in the first place like Davepeta had initially thought. Instead, they had been standing near her empty mansion for a while, till Kanaya messaged them that no, she had been chilling in the Kingdom of Blizzards and Snowcats all this time, the territories of the Snowskin Hoomans. Quite literally in fact, as she had long kept a vacation home there just for Kanaya and her. A little cottage right in the middle of their face freezing forest. Truly the best place to relax, right?

It's not like the decision is without thought however. It is much safer to not stay in your bigass mansion right after what many assumed to be an assassination attempt. It is ultimately a good decoy for would-be bad guys to invade should they want to finish the job. And hey, if they trash the place then material wealth is always replaceable. Not to mention having a Roxy to steal things back making it even easier. Too bad Davepeta and Yiffany were fooled as well, which means this journey has to continue.

Still, flying is always trickier in the near freezing cold. There's also a couple of other issues Davepeta is just now realizing they had failed to think about. Like the potential of both of them freezing to death while Yiffany is in pajamas, and the guards which they know are surrounding the volcano’s opening probably refusing the thought of letting them in. Davepeta would have to deal with these guards but that still leaves the cold. Ok, maybe Davepeta’s fur can handle it? But that's not something Yiffany is blessed with despite being partially canine. Which leads them all back to square one.

They think, only to witness Yiffany having already uncapchalogued and swapped into winter clothing. Hey, being incredibly paranoid about the unpredictability of the outside world is both a blessing and a curse… Mostly a curse. But that did lead to her being well prepped for almost every minute and stupid thing. This just happened to be one of them. Davepeta couldn't be more proud.

Now all that's left are the volcano guards stationed in front of the one opening into the Snowskin kingdoms. Davepeta was already prepping for ways to either sneak past or smooth talk into being allowed in, only for Davepeta to see from under them, Yiffany’s phone holding hand raising a thumbs up, as if saying it's fine, that all is well now. Now, Davepeta couldn't exactly read what was on screen from this angle, especially while in the middle of flight, but whatever that conversation might be, it seems to have already solved their Snowskin guard related issue. Yet another thing Yiffany just sort of solved on her own, without funcle or funtie Davepeta’s help. Davepeta, admittedly, having no clue whether to feel lame this time or to feel even more pride.

They would land, and be made to wait outside of the large rocky dome typically surrounding the hooman homes. Not so typical of fellow hoomans however were the guards Davepeta was worried about, all of whom were sleek robots looking nearly identical to their fleshy counterparts that it is pretty uncanny. They don't have to stare too long at their AI brethren though, as their wait would finally be cut by the arrival of whom Davepeta identified as definitely one of Yiffany’s few friends. Good for her!

The platinum blonde stepped forwards, the androids parting in deference to her authority, even doing a small bow. Oh so she is that big of a deal? Suddenly, Davepeta is even more impressed at Yiffany’s friendship yoinking skills. Maybe she's doing better than they initially thought? They mused, as the girl stopped, her icy blue gaze scanning the both of them for just a brief moment.

After a bit, she blinked, her face forming into the closest thing she could to a pleased expression. Davepeta is guessing she isn't quite the expressive type. It does make sense though why she and Yiffany would get along.

Yiffany types. “Hey.” Said her TTS bot. The girl, meanwhile, responds with a nod.

“Hey.” She replied back.

“Eron, Davepeta. Davepeta, Eron.” Yiffany quickly typed once again, very succinctly introducing Davepeta to her chilly buddy. Davepeta does a wave, and Eron does yet another nod back. Man, hopefully the Snowskin lady will be more chatty later, lest it might be awkward. Though… Maybe it'll be for the best if Davepeta would just leave the chatting to Yiffany. These are two friends after all, and it wouldn't be very cool auncle of Davepeta if they were to just barge in between them like they're the biggest most important person in town. Nah, that's more of a Vriska thing, and last they checked, they ain't Vriska.

They don't just linger at the front gates for too long of course. Without wasting any more time, they entered. Thankfully, they immediately see a car that Davepeta could only describe as coming straight out of futuristic predictions from the old Earth’s 80s, this retro-scifi vehicle being the metal cage that'll keep them non-Snowskins from freezing to death. Eron would take the driver’s seat while Yiffy took the front, Davepeta was at the back, just astounded by how warm the insides were. It's quite comfy too, definitely nothing like what they were expecting. In fact, they weren't even sure anymore what exactly they were expecting in the first place. It's just that nice.

Davepeta finds themselves purring as they sink into the passenger seat. Their face pressed against the car windows. By this point, Yiffany and Eron had settled into their own chatter, something about “visitors”, a “yellow guy”, and some dude named “Joel”. It's hard to pay attention though with how relaxed Davepeta is getting. The quick zooming by of the Snowskin city lights as they proceeded with driving doesn't help matters at all, the beauty is hypnotizing, almost enough to lull Davepeta into falling asleep though they thankfully kept awake.

The Kingdom of Blizzards and Snowcats has always been the most technologically advanced of the four hooman kingdoms, a direct opposite of the Kingdom of Balers and Pumpkins, which is so anti-science that they've basically stayed in the dark ages all this time. Not that Davepeta would know, they haven't visited the Pumpskin kingdom yet.

Regardless, they are enjoying what the Snowskins have to offer. The roads are paved with many lights, neon billboards and holographic advertising. The streets bustle with activity as the nocturnal Snowskins go about their nightly business. The stray snowcats were plowing about, rolling snow as bulldozers with the AI personality of cats tend to do, these sacred mechanical fauna could be fun to play with, Davepeta thought. Though their attention was quickly nabbed by the imposing structures surrounding them, these mostly wooden, very pointy skyscrapers, so close to piercing their volcano’s ceiling, glittering with even more lights that they drown out even their artificial moon. A monument to Snowskin scientific progress.

Soon however, even that fades in the frosty taiga, the ice covered forest swallowing them whole as they drive away from the vast cities into the sprawling undergrowth where Rose sometimes calls home. By this point, even Eron seems to have gotten tired by the samey nature of just seeing several trees pass by, so she presses something, and Davepeta feels the car shift. It wobbles, as the wheels go horizontal, before just as suddenly, they are in the air. Of course the Snowskins have flying cars, what else do they totally not have? Davepeta just finds themselves enamored by their now flying contraption, it almost makes them forget they have wings for a moment.

They pass the tips of the pines, the car expertly driving through without hitting a single branch. That doesn't stop Eron from frowning however. “Apologies.” She said. “I have slacked on my lumberjacking duties, duly note that I shall later be getting rid of these trees and proceed with opening up a new road for driving incursions to follow. At least, until I find the time to do said duties.” She sounded frustrated. And Davepeta doesn't really have the words to comfort her, even though they won't protest against some good old healthy deforestation.

Soon, they finally arrive. Their car angles itself into landing position, slowly lowering next to a cabin where Davepeta noticed Kanaya was already waiting. They lowered their window to wave at her, before immediately regretting it as a blast of cold nearly had them freezing on their seat. Thankfully, Yiffany and Eron aren't affected, as a window separates the front seats from the back, still, Davepeta very quickly rolls their car door window back up, at least while they are in the air where the chill is far more chiller.

They would soon land, Kanaya chuckling as she watches Davepeta hesitantly open their door to follow Yiffany and Eron, who had already emerged. They were correct, down here, the temperature is tamer, no wonder Kanaya is able to go outside with such relative ease despite her winter clothes being more fashionable than practical. “You doing alright, dears?” She would ask, now that Davepeta could hear her without a door blocking her words.

“It could've been furse.” Good pun, best cat-truman-bird. “Anyways, how's the missus? Is she doing ok? Or does she now have matching holes with you?”

“Uhhh.” Came out of Kanaya’s mouth, and Davepeta immediately realized they spoke terribly. Thankfully, there is no awkward pause as Eron turns to open the door to her driver’s seat.

“I should leave.” She said. “I do not wish to interfere with you and the Lightbringer’s reunion, especially since you sounded so worried about her, Longstocking.”

“Oh no, do stay, there is no reason for you to depart just yet, I insist.” Kanaya protested, causing Eron to pause.

“Still.” Eron began, sounding unsure.

Yiffany however, cuts between them and types out. “Please stay.” Her TTS bot had read. “No need to worry bout visitors when you're here.”

Eron stares at both Yiffy, then Kanaya, then back to Yiffany again. She hesitates, still lingering near her open car door, until Davepeta goes behind her and shoves her forwards. She yelped. Davepeta laughs. “Come on.” They said. “What the ladies said.” They insisted, as Eron looked back at them, eyes narrowed as she rubbed her back.

Kanaya, meanwhile, chuckles once more. “It is cold out.” She said, nodding towards her and Rose's home. “Come inside, as Davepeta here said. There should be some tea already brewing, if you three do not mind.”

This seems to peak Eron’s interest. “Oh, not at all.” She said, and soon, she, Yiffany, and Davepeta followed the jadeblooded goddess into her humble abode.

The atmosphere going in is warm and inviting, almost the opposite of the too brutal chill outside. It may be September still, but it sure feels almost like Perigrees Eve already even without the associated flickering decorations or the decapitated tree to help signal its arrival. It helps that the cabin is much smaller than Rose’s typical mansion, allowing the warm fire light of the burning hearth to spread across every wooden corner of the home, like a loving hug from the two Nannasprites. Truly, the most homely of sanctuaries.

And yet, Yiffany remains on edge.

She clings to Eron, sniffing around as she approaches this new environment. Only then did Davepeta realize that Yiffany hasn't been in this place, and that's definitely a major reason why she insisted on Eron staying. Part of Davepeta feels a little disappointed she doesn't find them to be enough of a fluffball to find comfort at, but they're also more concerned by, well, Yiffany looking legitimately scared. The poor woman is shivering at this point, and it ain't because of the cold.

“Hey.” Eron said. “It's alright, it's just a cabin.” She tries to calm her down, her voice blunt and even. “It's alright.” She insists once again. And Davepeta could only observe as Yiffany’s shivering started to lower. The matter-of-factly way Eron spoke seemed to prove most effective in this very case.

“Here we are.” They all hear Kanaya emerging from the kitchen. “Tea time, everybody?”

They sat down, tea time going by surprisingly quickly. The drink was nice, herbal, but just the right amount of sweet, with a slight edge in bitterness. It's not even like Davepeta likes drinking tea, they're more of a hot coco type of person, but nah, this one is just good. Energizing even, as the group just takes that moment to relax. Even Yiffany has her very few furs flatten in a rare moment of non-anxious clarity. For once Davepeta doesn't seem to have to worry about her, it is the most fine Yiffany had ever been in too long of a while.

It was so good in fact that the group nearly forgot why they're even here in the first place, until she began walking down stairs to greet them. “Hello.” They turned to see Rose, smiling as she slowly limped her way down her steps. “Unfortunately, you will find no bullet hole lobotomizing me like you may have expected.” She points to her head. A cool entrance, only to be interrupted by Yiffany putting down her tea and rushing up stairs to immediately tackle her into a sudden hug. It sends Rose crashing onto the floor for the second time this week.

“Arruuuuu!!’ Comes out of Yiffany's throat as she rubs her cheek against hers. She may be mute, but what sounds her vocal cords could make right now can best be described as delighted whimpers. Her tail wags, as she clings onto Rose like her life depended on it. Rose however, chuckles, patting Yiffany’s back as Kanaya begins to go upstairs, intending to help them up.

Davepeta sips on their tea as they watch Kanaya indeed do as she intended, managing to get Rose back on her feet without needing to pry Yiffany off of her. Yiffany only continues to cling on her tight, burying her face at Rose’s side as Rose turns to address the group. “What?” She began. “With your face, one might almost surmise you have met the visage of a once departed? A silly notion, considering I never died.”

“Just glad to see you back, sister.” Davepeta grins in between sips. By this point, Rose would've slowly actually went down stairs, assisted by Kanaya, into sitting down. Now it's just five of them, sitting in the living room and able to just kick back upon seeing Rose actually look to be doing fine.

“While I have been acquainted with your progenitor, I don't believe we have been formally introduced amongst one another, Miss Downey.” Rose said, pressing her chin against her knuckles, careful to keep Yiffany still comfortable.

“You can call me Eron.” Eron replied, setting down her tea as well.

“I see.” Rose murmured, letting her voice trail off. She sips some tea. “Miss Eron then. Pray tell what business you may have with a poor and traumatized little birdie such as myself?” She said as she set the tea cup down.

“I was supposed to just drive Longstocking here.” Eron answered plainly. “But your wife said I should stay for tea.”

“Of course she did.”

The chat would go on, mostly about life and getting to know each other as a mother tends to do with one of her daughter’s new friends. At some point, Yiffany would let go of Rose and just press her fingers together, looking rather content, enough that she doesn't seem interested in any more tea. Davepeta meanwhile, had since stood up, walking back and forth like an understimulated feline. They didn't really bother to cut between the chatter, instead, it was Kanaya who had to approach them. Her brow raised.

“Nep- I mean, Davepeta.” Kanaya began. “Is there any problem? You seem restless.”

Davepeta smiles, then shakes their head. “Eh, they seem to be having fun.” They said. “There's no real reason for some big bushy furball like meowself to go mozying between them like I own the place.”

Kanaya laughs. “You're getting far better at those cat puns it seems.” She complimented, that smile of hers still remaining wide. “Still, we would rather not have our guests feeling like they are being left out. Or as Rose may say, third wheeling.” She said, though clearly unfamiliar with the concept. Ironic considering her penchance for auspitism. “Though there are more than three of us, so… Wouldn't fifth wheeling be a more accurate way to call it?”

“You could say that, yeah.” Davepeta said while shrugging. “This great feline avian warrior ain't planning on getting all snuggly and shit however, got some places to go, things to see.”

“Oh?” Kanaya tilts her head.

“Night flight, you know?” They began, before trying to explain. “Gotta stretch these thingie ma doodads strapped on my back which mew may call wings.” They point behind them. “These pawthetic little things are all limp wristed, if that's even pawsible with these limbs like these. Look, I'm fruity as all hell, but taking that literally couldn't be the healthiest with a mewly realized bird cat person like meowself, right?”

Kanaya blinks. “I'm not sure I follow.”

“Yeah I just. Look, lemme try to enunciate this in Nepetaspeech since you seem more pawmiliar with her game...” They take a deep breath, before clearing their throat.

“AT purrs as they rub all over Kanaya’s legs. She can't escape, they're too cute, too fluffy, and she's weak to cute and fluffy, at least, they think you are? Anyways, AT is giving her those Puss in Boots cutey-patootie big eyes while subtly gesturing between her and the window and back to her and back the window again. All wriggling their butt like oooh you're gonna let them out, I know you want to, you really really do. It's just a midnight flight is all, pleeeeeaaaaaase.”

“Ok, ok. I get it.” Kanaya said amidst giggles at Davepeta’s way too extra display. “I understand.”

“Yeah.” Davepeta too is chuckling, scratching the back of their head. “Sorry.”

“No, don't be.” Kanaya said, and for the first time, her smile briefly falters into a look of worry. “Wouldn't you rather not stay the night however?” She asked. “It is still rather cold.”

“Nah.” Davepeta shook their head. “I already RPed my immewnse desperation for furesh air. Cat really have that when purring up a snore in this abode. No offense.” Though admittedly, they're not fully sure either why they're refusing. Maybe they'd just rather be alone for a bit? They'll go with that.

“None taken.” Kanaya said, sounding rather genuine in her statement.

“In any case, there should be a transportalizer here.” She gestures to another room, which should lead to their kitchen based on the layout Davepeta had been seeing. “It directly leads outside of this volcano should you need it. If anything, I’d advise you to maybe indeed take it? Just so you don't have to deal with the cold agony of the hooman-made artificially lowered temperature we're all surrounded with.” Kanaya is right, Davepeta would rather not deal with that if they were being honest. “It just… Suits them better, I suppose.” Yeah, snowskins are known for thriving in the cold, it is already in the name, no wonder they made their already cold home even colder.

But they're no snowskin, that much is obvious. Davepeta laughs. “Ooh, defo gonna be taking that then.” They said, which made Kanaya sigh. Why? Is it because of relief? Davepeta couldn't quite tell.

“I'm glad…” Ok, it is because of relief indeed. Davepeta is just glad to see her less worried.

“Oh! And another thing.” Kanaya began. A follow up before Davepeta’s now inevitable departure. “There is a setting to toggle in order to get yourself into Tartaru’t.” Ah, Tartaru’t, when was the last time they even got to go there? “Now, there's no pressure for you to do so or anything, but if you would be so kind… Can you go check up on the Peixes for us please?”

Peixes huh? Well, if Kanaya is asking for a Peixes specifically, there's only one person Davepeta could think of in regards to whom the jadeblood might actually be interested in checking out. Why ask Davepeta though? If she has a transportalizer then why not get to Tartaru’t herself and visit the Peixes household?

“See… I may or may not have promised to come visit Fe’fook once in a while.” Fe’fook Peixes, the only daughter and current heiress to the Peixes family, currently staying with the Tartaru’t Ambassador, Feferi. ”We would, but with Rose’s condition…”

“Sounds like fun.” Davepeta immediately said, definitely already down for it. And hey, Kanaya already basically answered their questions anyway. They didn't have time to visit Fe’fook while Rose was still clearly injured. “Haven't hung out with the squiddies for a while anyways. Have you tried flying around their place? It's great!”

“Squiddles.” Kanaya corrected, though it's not like Davepeta isn't aware of the proper names of one of their closest alien neighbors. It’s moreso a cute nickname, is all.

”And no.” Kanaya said. “Unfortunately, I couldn't exactly fly. Not since my session’s Prospit died…” There's a certain wistfulness in her tone, which lingers before she shakes her head. “But please, don't take me being nostalgic for dreams long past as a reason to not enjoy yourself.” She said. “Just, make sure you're wearing a gas mask while you're out there flying in the squiddle skies. You know how too long exposure to their green atmosphere has potentially unintentional effects on not squiddle bodies.”

“Will do, mom!”

They jest, causing Kanaya to snicker. And that was all they needed to say.

They would return momentarily at where Yiffany is at. They proceed to ruffle her hair, the girl growling almost instinctively at being patted. Davepeta, however, laughed, before leaning close to give a whispering farewell. “I'm sure you'll be asking so I’m just gonna say it.” They began. “Sure, you're furee to stay the night here, if mew want.” Those words immediately shifted Yiffany’s frown into genuine excitement. Of course, there's no way to hide it when she's wagging this profusely.

“She could stay, right?” They asked, just now realizing that maybe they should also ask Rose first. Who is, of course, the owner of the cabin Yiffany is intending to stay at for the night. Rose replies with a blank expression. For a moment, it caused Davepeta to briefly doubt whether they've already stepped on her toes. She held that stare for a surprisingly lengthy time, before it finally took her being unable to hold back a snicker to make it clear that yes, she's just jesting.

“Of course.” Rose said. “Is there any problem enough that I would not? Ooh, a dastardly monster happens to have planted their girthy buttocks onto the guest bed! Whoops. Sorry.”

Yiffany giggles at that, tail still wagging. Rose however, turns to Eron. “You may stay the night here as well.” Rose said. “If you'd like of course. Longstocking here is rightly fond of you at this point, me included.”

“Sleepover!!” Yiffany typed out for a bot to read, the voice may be emotionless, though she sure somehow made it sound excited.

Eron’s answer however was surprisingly quick, much more so than the hesitation she had prior to tea being mentioned. She just shrugged and said “Sure.”

And at that, Davepeta giggled, their hand on their hip. “Well, this winged cat warrior shall be sauntering off then! See you all.”

“Bye!” Yiffany typed out as well.

Davepeta has a few last words though before they truly depart. “Be sure to tell Jade about where you went off to, alright?” Yiffany looked like she immediately deflated at the name. “She'd be fine! Just, try talking to her?” Yiffany turns away from them. They could hear a huff as she hops off the couch and begins to walk up stairs, seemingly about to ignore Davepeta’s final instructions.

“I think it's best if I stick with her.” Eron said, also following up the steps. Meanwhile, Rose looks at Davepeta, giving them a reassuring smile.

“She'll be fine.” She said. “Now then, you wish to visit Fe’fook, correct?”

Ah yes.

They were planning on doing that.

Davepeta would soon reach the transportalizer. They didn't hesitate to turn the dial at its side. The symbol at its center shifted from a logo of the Earth, to a logo of what appeared to be a jar. To anybody who is the least bit familiar with Squiddles, this was obviously the symbol for Tartaru’t, a literal floating jar that's deemed a planet. A terrarium. Hosting in it the Squiddle population and their Mermaid custodians. A place much better experienced than explained.

And so, they hopped in.

–

“Wah- GRAAH!”

“NYAAH!!”

There was screaming and several pieces of furniture thrown at Davepeta’s face, which they managed to elegantly dodge, weave, and sometimes catch. Like liquid, they slid onto the floor as a particularly large marble bust was telekinetically sent hurtling at where Davepeta’s head was at. “Hey!” They said, while in an awkward crouch. “It's just me!”

“Aaaaaa- Ah? Oh.”

The yeetening had ceased, and Davepeta actually gets a chance to raise their head. From their current angle, they see what appears to be a large paint bucket being lowered from its telekinetically floating position. Davepeta is sure that that would've bonked their head if they weren't able to stop her. They straightened, and thus, are now able to see Feferi Peixes’ only child face to face. Their eyes and her four, blinking.

“Fe’fook?”

“Yep, that's me.” She steps forwards, close enough that Davepeta can fully see her. She has grayish skin of course, matching the gray of her hair, draping her head like a fish swallowing her scalp. Literally, it looks like a fish, its beady black eyes staring at Davepeta with curiosity. It almost honestly makes Davepeta hungry, almost. “Hey, eyes down here.” Fe’fook points to her face, which Davepeta’s eyes easily follow.

“What are you even doing here?” She asked, eyes narrowed. “I didn't get the memo that mom’s human infused cat friend with wings for some reason is about to be popping up from inside our shed like a malfunctioning game of wack-a-mole.”

“Hee hee, glad to meet you too, Fe’fook.”Davepeta said, causing Fe’fook to end up frowning.

“We met before.” She corrected them.

“Yeah, but I don't think we spoke face to face like this yet? Mew and Feffurry had always been rather busy.”

“Feferi is.” Fe’fook said, her frown deepening. “And… Mew?”

“You.” Davepeta clarified as Fe’fook let them pass her, emerging from this dingy shed off to the outside, where the wide breadth of the Squiddle planet truly shows itself to Davepeta’s most excited senses.

They were on a surprisingly moderately sized backyard for the top floor of a condominium. Davepeta can see the air and the sky is a shimmering green which they could almost taste the sweetness of if they weren't strapped with a gas mask to their muzzle right about now.

Young squiddles of the Eat Moderately caste are flying about, entering domes which open to let them and several floating vehicles for non flyers in. The domes seem to contain tall coral looking buildings, all glittering with several mismatching materials. Davepeta watches as squiddles and their mermaids move in and out of these homes which was only then did Davepeta realize that wait, they're also in their own dome.

“Haven't you been here at the Surface before?” Fe’fook asked, tilting her head, a hand on her hips. “I thought you Terran Gods could travel anywhere? You haven't at least visited here?” She asked again.

“I have.” Davepeta answered. “But briefly. Nyaver really had the chance to just sight see, nya know?”

“Will you stop it with the puns already?” Fe’fook said. “It's making it hard for me to get what the fuck you're saying.”

“Pawry- I mean, sorry.” Davepeta looks down, watching the shifting grass wave across their shoes. They unintentionally look rather dejected, enough that when they turn to look back at Fe’fook, she looks rather sorry for them.

“...nevermind.” She said. “You can keep doing the puns. Just, please clarify what you're saying? Alright?”

“No problemo.” Davepeta said back, not really intending to add that much more puns in the pile anyways. They watched as Fe’fook opened a door into their main room, before entering. Davepeta doesn't take much longer to follow suit, entering as well, from the backyard into hers and Feferi’s living room.

The insides of her home proper was predictably fancy as to be expected from Feferi’s kin. Besides the opulent wizard statues that Davepeta before only saw flying at mach speed at their head, there's also a bunch of scattered mannequins, canvases, and sequins. Fe’fook seems to have been preoccupied with various projects before Davepeta popped out of that shed. What projects they were, they can only hazard a guess based on various anime girl like artworks, some squiddle looking paintings, and one piece that is blank except for the word “Daedalus” just labeled at its side.

She immediately begins pushing her stuff off into a pile, making more of a mess in her wake. Underneath some of this stuff however is a sofa that Davepeta didn't even notice was there. “Make yourself at home.” Fe’fook said. “I have to get to school later, and I know I don't have to but I kinda actually want to as well, you know?”

“Uhh yeah.” Was Davepeta’s reply. Honestly, they didn't even know she was at what Davepeta presumed to be college. So maybe they went at a bad time? That sucks, they feel almost bad now with how they just dropped into her day like that. They just quietly plop onto the sofa, it is soft, almost like those bean bag chairs some folks have. It makes Davepeta sink into it, a purr coming out of their throat.

Fe’fook smiles briefly at seeing them comfortable. “Do you even know what a school is?” Out of context, it almost sounded like an insult, Davepeta thought. They were about to reply when Fe’fook raised a hand. “Before you say anything, let me remind you that you didn't answer my previous question… Why are you even here?”

“Didn't I? Oh yeah.” Yeah, the reason had indeed completely slipped their mind. “It was Kanaya.” They began. “Told me to go check on mew, I said why not cause hey, expawring Tartaru’t for some night flying sounds fun.” They had straightened from their seat, excitement returning in their reenergizing form. ”So here I am.”

“Kanaya huh.” There is a hint of melancholy in Fe’fook’s tone, as she spoke while looking away. Even Davepeta couldn't catch the quick shift between sadness to what sounds to be confusion. “...night flight?” She asked. “You went all the way here to just fly around?”

“Yeup.” Was Davepeta’s reply. “Is that a problem?”

That simple answer is enough to get Fe’fook to honestly laugh, legitimately sounding like she didn't expect something so straightforward as a reason “Not really.” She said. “It's just, you'd think you'd have something better to do?”

“This is the best thing to do!” Davepeta proclaimed, the excitement sending them onto their feet. For a moment, Fe’fook looked startled, seemingly thinking they were going defensive. But no, Davepeta smirks, slowly and gently grabbing Fe’fook by the hand. “Heh.” They can't help but chuckle as they lay down an offer.

“Want me to prove it?”

They lay their cards. And it surprisingly doesn't take a lot to convince Fe’fook to ditch class for somebody who claims to like going to them. “Alright.” She said. “You know if I get in trouble, you're the one that's gonna get blamed right?”

“I'm a mischievous cat crow.” They said, smirking. “My type ain't exactly known for being behaved.”

“Hah!” Ok, that answer definitely amused Fe’fook. If this is an adventure game, Davepeta is sure a Fe’fook Would Remember That pop-up would've appeared in the corner of their vision already. “Alright then Mx. Delinquent. Hurry up and kidnap me already.”

She doesn't have to ask them twice.

Soon, they were off. Fe’fook is presumably a squiddle as well, Davepeta thought, though she doesn't exactly look like a squid. Regardless though, squiddle or not, she's a non-flyer. Davepeta needs to pull a Yiffany with her and hold on if they are going to make this night flight work. And with how mildly floaty this planet’s gravitational pull already is, carrying Fe’fook isn't much of a challenge anyhow. Their hands are intertwined, as Davepeta takes her out of their dome by finding a hole in the glass, and floating right above the other domes before them, just hovering there for just a moment.

“Are you sure about this?” Fe’fook asked, but before she could elaborate, they were accosted by flying squids zooming past them to stand in their way. Upon closer inspection, Davepeta notices they are covered in a chrome sheen, with beeps coming out of what Davepeta identified as their obviously part machine bodies.

“Halt citizen!” One of the cybernetic squid people spoke. “Right now it's school hours! You better have a good reason why you're flying around classroom property.” They said, clenching the tentacles on their heads like they're about to pummel them with them.

“Hah! Well that's where you're misunderstanding, officer!” Davepeta began, causing Fe’fook to stare at them, blinking.

“What are you doing?” Fe’fook asked, looking baffled.

“See, I'm not even a catizen at all, so there's no reason for me to stay at school if you get what I'm saying?” They wink, nudging their elbows at the squid cop, who looks at them as if they are just processing what they just said.

“Not a citizen?” One of them repeated. “So you're a tourist?” They asked, Davepeta replying with an immediate quick succession of nods. “Alright.” Hey, at least this cop is reasonable, that's rare, even in Earth C. “Do you at least have a Hall Pass then?”

Shit.

“Oh we actually-” Fe’fook was about to say something out of her ass it seemed, only for Davepeta to accidentally cut her off.

“What's that?”

They asked.

And the two officers blink, then look at each other, then back to them. Another blink, as they look like their metal brains are currently buffering with that statement. “You don't know what a Hall Pass is?” The officer asked.

“Oh they kid! They kid!” Fe’fook interrupts this travesty by waving her free arm. “Of course they do! You said you've been here before right, pal?”

And yet, no amount of Fe’fook trying to fish out some sort of favorable answer comes out of Davepeta’s fuzz-covered thinkpan. “No…?” They just said. “I know Hall Passes are a thing back in Earth Schools but I've never had squid cops pull up to me asking for one?”

“That's it.” One of the cops said. “You're also holding a student, who unless they have some sort of permission slip, is currently cutting schooling. So unless you have either of those in the next couple of seconds, we have no choice but to deem you delinquents and deal with you accordingly.”

“Oh- Uhh…” Davepeta stammered as they watched the cop raise a single tentacle, indicating the number one. “Wait! There has to be a misunderstanding!” There's a second tentacle, indicating two. “We'll fetch something then! I uh-” Another tentacle, indicating three. “Wait wait wait-” And another, indicating four…

“Times nearly up Hypothermite.” The cop said.

“Oh so you're just racist.” Fe’fook said, shaking her head. “Fuck it.”

Before the cops could reply, there was an explosion of color blasting them at their sights. When they wipe the ink off their face, cringing as they do, they witness Davepeta and Fe’fook already flying off in the opposite direction. “Halt!” One of the officers yelled. “Stop them!!” And they zoomed, rushing to catch the image of the two that's starting to get smaller.

Little did they know, Davepeta and Fe’fook are right under them, leaning against one of the domes in a bad effort at camouflaging. It doesn't matter anyways, the cops had taken the bait, and Fe’fook is cackling at their incompetence chasing her illusionary paint that's about to fade in the distance. She puts her brushkind back into her strife portfolio. “We should go.” She said, right after her laughter died down in chuckles. “The Watchalls are dumb, but they'd figure out my bullshit sooner or later. Ooh! I have just the place!”

At this point, Davepeta is just glad to be led by Fe’fook. She clearly knows the place better than them, and whatever she has in mind, it's probably gonna be more of an adventure than just wandering around like they were planning. And what's more relaxing than being put in dangerous situations constantly like some sort of hopelessly bumbling tourist, right?

They had glided to the ground now, below the massive domes that Davepeta just now learned are called ‘schools’. Big hulking cities which contain mostly squiddle children, or nibblings as they were apparently called, where they are expected to educate themselves in the ways of adulthood before they are allowed to freely go out into the world and join their parents in being important members of squiddle society.

At least, that is what Fe’fook spoke of while traveling on foot. They are currently traveling in the ‘Halls’ as the Watchalls mentioned. The in-betweens of squiddle schools that are normally inaccessible to younger squiddles unless they are grade A delinquents such as Fe’fook is acting right now. Fe’fook herself is a special case, she explained, as due to being the daughter of an Ambassador, she is free to decide whether she wants to go to school or not. Normally, she likes school enough to attend, but now?

She wouldn't bore her guest now, would she?

“There should be a tourney going around today, can't believe I forgot about it.” Her fingers play around the fins on her head. “Look at me, actually preoccupied with exams like a normal person. The world must be ending.”

Davepeta listens as they observe their surroundings. It is clear to them that they are basically being led around in a slum. A bunch of younger, more despondent looking squiddles are preoccupying themselves doing graffiti with their own tentacles slathering on the walls. There are those with shiny piercings dotting their faces, just sitting around, exhaling colorful smoke from some sort of squiddle joint. There are even some that are leaning onto heavily decorated seahorses, their squiddle partners glaring at Davepeta, as if daring them to keep looking.

Davepeta is the least bit intimidated by this, frankly, they instead found them to be utterly fascinating. “Damn.” They said. “This place is a dump, you all purrchance live like this?”

Fe’fook laughs. “Nah.” She said, hands behind her head. “Just a couple of problem kids. I just hang out here at times when class is a bummer.”

“Speaking of.” Davepeta began. “Aren't you like, 18? Shouldn't you have graduated class? Or, is it rude for me to ask? Whoops if so, sorry.”

“Pffft ha ha!” Whatever Davepeta said, it made Fe’fook snicker. “Nah, it's fine.” She said, wiping some tears from her front facing eyes. “Just been held back I guess. I didn't really need to graduate since they already see me as an adult thanks in part to my mommy dearest.” Davepeta catches a hint of a hitch in her tone upon the mention of her mother. “But eh, a funnier answer would've been that it keeps me a kid forever? Heh, the secret of youth, flunk in class. Remember that, kids!”

Davepeta laughs alongside her, as pretty soon they would actually reach Fe’fook’s chosen destination. Davepeta shall witness a run down looking shack, visibly trembling before they even approach. Davepeta can immediately hear the unmistakably loud booms of the huge bass speakers shaking them to their very core. The many holes of the shack shimmering with the quickly shifting colors of the rave going on inside. Fe’fook smirked as they placed a hand on her hips, whistling. “Oh they're going at it.” She said.

And she pulled them in. The large bouncer only does a grunting nod as Fe’fook enters, not even questioning who Davepeta is. Maybe Fe'fook's sway was just that huge? Regardless, Davepeta enters and their eyes are immediately assaulted by the blaring lights. Funky squiddle silhouettes were popping and wriggling about in the mostly dark dancefloor. And up top, they could hear the MC’s microphone shriek briefly as she talks from the hanging stage in which she's DJing. “What's up everyone??” The MC said. Davepeta hears folks shouting cheers in response. “What do we stand for??”

“FREE INK!!”

The crowd yelled back, and Davepeta could barely dodge a splash of ink sent from above. Fe’fook however, took it, letting her face be covered with the multicolored splatter. “Isn't this great?” Fe’fook asked, rubbing some of the ink from her cheek. “Unlike up top, these guys actually know how to party! And we ain't even in the main event yet!”

“Main event?” Davepeta asked, before by perfect timing, the crowd began to shift. By that point, Fe’fook had grabbed them by the hand and pulled them along the wave of the rushing squiddle crowd. The party goers had run to the front, where Davepeta saw a large carved out hole. A stage, Davepeta realized, not for a performance, but for a competition. As two uniform colored squiddle teams enter on the opposite sides of the arena. In their hands are similarly colored arms, and Davepeta immediately figured out what they're looking at.

“Ain’t this just Splatoon?” Davepeta asked, though the cheering of the crowd immediately drowned out what they're asking. Sure enough, the match starts, and the squiddle athletes begin shooting at each other with their colored inks. Soon, the arena and some of the closer watchers are splattered with the liquidized colors. Davepeta however, just found themselves enamored by what seemed to be an almost one to one reenactment of some popular Earth C game released post Sburb. What a coincidence really, it's fascinating!

The crowd goes wild as one round ends. “See? This is what I'm talking about!” Davepeta hears Fe’fook say amidst a lot of giggles. “Can you believe this thing’s illegal? The folks up top could never!” Illegal? Davepeta had no clue on that. “So how is it Mx. Delinquent?” She asked, a knowing smirk on her face. “You enjoying yourself so far?” As a matter of fact…

“Hell yeah.” Davepeta said, grinning as another round started. They're starting to really get into it. Soon the squiddles are taking out the bigger guns and covering half the stage with their color. They can't do the Splatoon shifting into a squid thing, but it doesn't matter. There are squiddles that can turn invisible or fly or the rare few that can go into gaseous forms. It is more than enough to be entertaining. And now, Davepeta is cheering alongside everyone as a colorful warzone unfolds before them. The DJ meanwhile kept the music going. A party of colors and mayhem, as Davepeta’s throat goes hoarse with hype.

It was an amazing night, now this is how night flights should be about.

–

“Ha ha ha!” Fe’fook and Davepeta laughed as they stumbled back into Fe’fook’s condominium. The people who saw them on their journey back looked scandalized, looking away in what Davepeta realized is probably disgust, much to Davepeta’s confusion. They tried not to cause a mess, with only a few paint-like splashes not removed from their skin. What's the big deal? Davepeta wonders as Fe’fook fumbles with her keys.

Little does Davepeta know, things will only become clearer once they actually finally get back to Fe’fook’s home.

There they saw her, waiting for them, Feferi. The now fully grown troll royalty looked confused, then horrified, as she took a full gander at the two of them. All greasy with sweat and ink, their hair still a mess, not really having bothered to clean up as much till they got back. The longer Feferi stares, the more Davepeta watches her horror shift into something more akin to anger mostly directed at Fe’fook.

She placed her hands on her hips. “Fe’fook Peixes.” She said, furious. “What the hell?”

“Uuuugh.” Fe’fook rolls her eyes. “Of course now you decide to be here. What? The Senseis are being too stupid for their own good again, mom?”

“Now don't go changing the subject, young woman!” Feferi sounds exasperated. At this point, Davepeta figured this would be a screaming match by this instant. So they took a good spot to stand, trying not to go between them both.

“I swear, you always put me in a bad spot…” Feferi said, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “What were you thinking? Putting our guest in the middle of the Halls at night! And why are you covered in ink? Don't you know how scandalous that is??”

“...Always?” Fe’fook, for a moment, sounded genuinely hurt. That look of shock swaps to anger just that instant however. “Grr- What's the big deal anyways?” She growled. "It's not like I took them anywhere close to dangerous.”

“You assaulted an officer!” Feferi is sounding even more exasperated by the second. “The poor man was glubbing and glubbing at me about my Heiress throwing ink at him! Do you have any idea how bad that looks? Or are you just that stupid?”

“Is that it?” That hint of hurt rears its ugly head in Fe’fook’s words once more. “Is that all you care about? Not that these cops were being discriminatory to my friend here?”

“What did I tell you about changing subjects?” Feferi crossed her arms. Fe’fook meanwhile, just throws her hands up in mock surrender.

“Argh! Fine!” Fe’fook said. “You win, I make you look bad! That's always the issue mom! You said it yourself!” Ok, this is somehow getting even messier. Davepeta twiddles their thumbs, definitely uncomfortable now.

“Oh please.” This time, it is Feferi who rolls her eyes. “You're gonna go whining and whining about it. Look, why don't you grow up for once and act like a proper diplomat for just one second, maybe you wouldn’t be in this mess.” Her voice is low.

“Fine!” Fe’fook screamed. “I am acting like an adult!”

“You shore don't sound like it.” The way Feferi sounded, it almost sounded like she's baiting her. Fe’fook meanwhile, ignored that hook, scoffing at it.

“Oh now look who's talking?” Fe’fook said, before pushing past Feferi, marching to the direction of her own room.

“...where are you going?” Feferi asked, unsure what Fe’fook is even getting at at this point.

“I know you're gonna ground me.” Fe’fook explained. “You're gonna be like ‘I can't take this anemonore!’ and I'd be like ‘are you seriously grounding me while doing fish puns?’ So… Fuck it! I'm just gonna ground myself!”

“Language!” Feferi gasped, placing a hand on her lips. “Have you no shame?! Right in front of our guest??”

“Ok, now you're complaining about language??” Now out of everything, this seemed to be reaching Fe’fook’s limit. “You're literally screaming right in front of them right now!”

“And you're leaving them to go mope in your room some more.” Feferi shot back. Afterwards is a brief pause, the two of them breathing heavily as they just glared daggers at each other. Davepeta is still in the middle of this, their feet making shapes on the ground in some sort of effort to distract themselves.

At some point, Feferi just sighs, placing a hand on her head. The sound of exhaustion permeated her every word. “Ugh, I don't know any more.” She said. “Maybe it's best you go clam up in your room this instant. You're giving me a sea-vere headache.”

“And there goes the puns.” Fe’fook too also sounded tired. She however, is still able to let out a small sardonic laugh. “Heh, for once I agree.”

And she slams the door shut.

Feferi and Davepeta are left just standing there. Fe’fook had fucked off, while Davepeta remained, the sprite turning to face Feferi, who still looks incredibly exhausted by what appeared to be yet another screaming match. She also turns, finally facing Davepeta after that whole fiasco. There is an apologetic smile on her face, as she sighs, shaking her head. “I'm so sorry you had to sea all that.” She said. “I'm shore this isn't the best introduction to our hive.”

“N-No, it's fine.” Davepeta said. “It's just… I don't really understand what was wrong? Help me out here Fef.”

“Hee hee, oh poor naive Nepeta. Isn't it obvious that ink is lewd in squiddle culture? No? Oh dear. Did Fe’fook not even tell you about that?” Feferi asked, the realization that yes, Davepeta had no clue, is starting to dawn on her. “Shit. I'm sorry. You might've looked like a fool! You should've waited for me to come home.”

“Huh.” Was all Davepeta said, clicking their tongue upon realizing they're like some person walking around with a bucket on their heads. Maybe to folks who care more that would be very embarrassing. Davepeta however, simply shrugged. “The more you know.” They said, chuckling. “I'll keep that in mind then.”

“Please, take a shower before you go at least? I can't have an esteemed guest smelling like rotten tuna, let alone covered in squiddle junk.” She smiles, grabbing a fresh towel for them. “I'm sure you have some spare clothes for a change?”

They shrug, causing a twitch in Feferi’s eye. “Ah, good thing I'm always prepared!” She briefly disappears into an entire room that's just a wardrobe. “Ooh! I've got just the color to suit you!”

At that, they were pushed into taking a bath. They know they're better off leaving soon anyways now that that whole fight happened. It's rather awkward to just hang out with Feferi after all that. Still, the clothes Feferi chose for them does suit them, despite not being much to their taste. It's frilly, a bit more feminine than their usual clothes, with colors Davepeta would describe as floral. They may actually be starting to like it the more they check themselves out at the mirror, their eyes catching Feferi leaning by the door, looking proud of her handy work.

“You look stunning!!” She said, pushing herself off of where she leaned to move closer to them, eyeing them further. “Hmm, maybe you should spend the night here? It is late, and I'm shore you're already exhausted trawling over the Halls like that.”

“Nah.” Davepeta said with a smirk. “I'm good.”

“Have it your way then.” She said, still smiling. “You best be off then! Have a nice journey, Nepeta. Our doors are always open here in the wonderful Tartaru’t!”

“Hee hee, alrighty.”

And with a wave, Davepeta would depart, flying out of Feferi’s open door, right through her backyard. Maybe in other circumstances they could hang out with Feferi? Maybe even with Fe’fook if fate would be so kind? Right now however, the tension was too thick for even their claws to slice through. It's best they cut their losses and not get between such a powder keg of a mother-daughter relationship. They know enough not to stir that kind of drama, as much as they feel bad for the both of them.

Alas, they had chosen to leave, at least for now. Davepeta pierces through the actually transparent glass-looking barrier surrounding the artificial terrarium-esque ‘planet’ of Tartaru’t. This barrier was a stuff of legends for squiddles back in the day, a saying goes that only those with the permission of Gods can get past it. Not that Davepeta knew of this myth, nor would they probably care that they had broken several squiddle mythos just by casually going off of Tartaru’t’s orbit. Till they can see Earth C looming upon them.

Davepeta may not know a lot of things, but even they knew to look up. For during certain nights, when the skies are clearly visible, many may see a gigantic floating jar of sorts hovering near the moon. Earth C’s second ever satellite, housing in them the many Squiddles of the session that resulted in the creation of the Troll universe in the first place. The winners of the game preceding them. All of whom still existed as the neighbors of their own game’s progeny. Yes, Tartaru’t was never truly a planet. It is their second moon, the symbiotic partner in Earth C’s continual existence. Like mother and daughter, completely unlike the two Davepeta had to abscond from recently.

As Davepeta moves from Tartaru’t to entering Earth C’s atmosphere, a new feeling had entered their chest, a hollowness they couldn't fully describe. Like a hole left when it should've been filled a long time ago.

Why is that?

The world is quite literally opened up before them. A mostly happy world in fact. They may not know everything that's going on with their friends, both current and former alike, but they have all earned this reward. All of them. Rose made sure of that. Nobody was left behind. It may not be perfect, but now they can just bask in this Earth of their creation, free from the monster that perpetuated its destruction, and most definitely also free from the possibility of Lord English ever becoming part of its story. It is, by any definition, a happy ending.

So why did they refuse to stay when Kanaya and Feferi offered?

And why are they so sure they would say no to anybody else who may have also asked?

It's strange, they're not even fully sure why they found themselves musing this either. Their mind has to go somewhere in the mostly quiet journey into their home planet, they supposed? Maybe that's just it, the quiet getting to them. And there's definitely nothing wrong. Nothing is making them doubt. Nothing is making them feel weird. Davepeta had done their part in defeating the demonic overlord of time himself, the world should be their oyster, and they're the positively hungry catbird about to have a feast. Nothing is wrong.

They're also fully aware when they're lying to themselves.

Isn't that the true superpower of a heart player with all the time in this world?

Davepeta found themselves hovering, gliding on top of New Skaia. Almost the same view as when they were flying around with Yiffany in their arms. It's still the same sight, the city glittering like stars, still the testament of Rose and everyone’s efforts. Truly, the fruits of their creation. New Skaia is a beautiful city indeed, that much is still true. That was never in any doubt, even for Davepeta. It is a home. One they have built one brick at a time. It should be warm. That sight should continue to give them awe.

And yet, that too was already gone. For some reason, now that they're all alone, they feel… nothing towards the place. It's just a city. One that exists. Like a setting to a picture book that Davepeta isn't a part of. It's alien, this feeling. It feels wrong to feel this way. They're Davepeta! A hero! A fellow God! And they survived the great battle against the big bad green meanie that was Lord English! Their story is over, alongside Isadora and Nepeta, both of whom were free to live their lives as just them. Without any alpha timelines or cruel games breathing down their necks. Davepeta should follow their lead, they should have a life ahead of them.

So why?

Why can't they muster up excitement for any of that?

For the first time in forever, Davepeta was silent. There was no Splatoon-like event going on for them to enjoy, no loud crowds to drown their thoughts in, no Yiffany, nor Fe’fook, nor Eron, nor anybody to just chat the night away with. There was nothing. Just them, in their head, in their loathsome. An internal dialogue between them and their many memories, all hopping around their highly advanced sprite brain, capable of processing all of them. The Daves, Isadoras, and Nepetas, all forming to be them. The one and only Davepeta of this world.

They are alone.

And their thoughts are deafening.

At this point, it's best to go for the surface, before they drown in the sea of their own head. A good Time and Heart hybrid hero should know when to quit, that much is certain. They take a calming breath, taking their sweet time inhaling and exhaling, the late night breeze cooling their insides, letting them just take in the calm. Empty their thoughts, that's what they must do. They are doing so well in fact that they forgot to even notice them closing their eyes, as they fell deep into a meditative trance.

It takes a while before their eyes open once more.

To see that they're not alone.

They see the two of them, a bit far from Davepeta themselves to notice, or to possibly care. Two Gods, June and Vriska, also in their own night flight. Not the first time Davepeta had observed them do so. If anything, it's probably the two of them that inspired Davepeta to take these nightly strolls as well. Neither June nor Vriska ever did approach Davepeta though. Maybe they'd rather be alone themselves? Or maybe Davepeta should just go fuckit and greet them regardless? They're not making that decision right now however, with Davepeta just watching the orange and blue blurs floating, as if dancing with one another, across the New Skaian sky.

The sight oddly makes their heart feel a little less heavy.

Every dance must end though, Davepeta watches June and Vriska flinch for some inexplicable reason. The two of them staring up with mouths agape, pointing at something. Davepeta follows their sight, witnessing something they did not expect to happen so recently right after Rose’s assassination attempt. Something that feels so out of left field, even for a strange amalgamated sprite creature such as themselves.

What they see is a star.

Falling.

Or more specifically, they see a flashing multicolored meteor zooming past their heads, just suddenly appearing out of nowhere, to potentially land somewhere far out of the capital where it would thankfully not hurt anyone. Where did it even come from? What even is it? Davepeta nor the other two Gods clearly had no clue, as the thing flew off into the distance, leaving them three winded from the strange and unexpected sight.

It is definitely not something of this world, Davepeta could tell.

They grin.

It's perfect.

Finally, yet another distraction.

Davepeta doesn't wait any longer. They follow the meteor’s trail, briefly noticing June and Vriska flying by, following as well. Good, whatever this is, Davepeta doesn't have to face it alone. Oh they can't wait. It smells like a quest, delivered by whatever heaven there is in Paradox Space. Handcrafted for them and their friends. This is going to be fun!

And so like a hunter chasing their quarry, they go forth.

Their mind is clearer now.

–

It does not take long for the meteor to land.

There was a shockwave, which almost everyone in New Skaia felt. Shocking for such a small package landing far from civilization. Alas, it alerted almost everybody to his presence. Sucks for him, considering he can barely move. His exoskeleton is strong but it couldn't sustain this much damage. He groans. If only he had earned his reward instead of being screwed over the moment he was about to reach it. His insides were rattled, he was utterly spent, all the while he was forced to pathetically crawl out of his hole, his green claws digging at the earth, as he desperately pulled himself up.

Damnit.

Damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit!!

“You're persistent, are you?”

The man said, his eyes trailing up at him standing there, his snarls coming through gnashing teeth. Eyes burning red, imagining a thousand cuts upon this stranger who just barged in the greatest moment of his life, all to take what is rightfully his. His one and only true Ultimate Reward.

The stranger whistles.

“It's a shame. For a Lordling, you are a disappointment.”

And he replied with a roar.

“What the fuck do you mean?? I rule over here! I earned that crock of shit ultimate reward! I am the Lord over here you pants shitting piece of garbage nobody!!!”

“You're starting to sound like the knight.” The man said, chuckling. “Then again, you're quite similar. Not in success though, he definitely has you beat.

“That's it!!”

And he charges. Several copies of his leprechaun servants appeared from under his cape. The stranger however, merely tuts, stepping aside to reveal a singular robotic bunny. His eyes widened in short recognition. And a bit of betrayal, as they hear ticking noises begin coming out of his robotic bunny’s insides.

“You like them?” The stranger pats the bunny. “I christened them as Nic Cage. It's already way better than every other name you kids have given him.”

And before he could say anything, the rabbit exploded.

Rainbow lights burst across the room, sending several stuff flying. The lordling hid behind his arms as he tumbled across the floor, digging his claws onto the ground to stop himself, before growling at the display of power before him. His red eyes gleam in untold hatred as the stranger simply leans back, unmoving by the sheer strength of his stolen psionic power. And now, his stolen Unconditional Immortality.

He found himself roaring in defiance.

“ILL BE BACK! DO YOU HEAR ME? I WILL MAKE YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE A LIVING HELL! I AM ALWAYS GONNA BE WITH YOU YOU HEAR? ILL BE ALWAYS THERE!!!”

“I look forward to it.”

And the lord's sight goes dark.

Now here he is, thrown across Paradox Space with nothing to show. A mere child, stuck in this weak flesh. A shadow of the lord that would have, and will no longer make reality his bitch. Just him, lying there, in the dirt of some no good planet, where that bastard basically exiled him. His chest still aching with burning hot fury.

“Hey.”

He flinched upon hearing that, looking above to see a familiar dipshit human, some troll female, and the worst color combination he's ever laid his eyes on, green and orange. He snarled, trying to crawl away like a cornered animal. But it's no use, he is at the mercy of these fuckers and he knows it. Internally, he is screaming, as this blue human moves closer towards him.

“The hell you're doing here, Caliborn?”

He asked, and man does he just want to crawl into a ball and explode.

–

We cut to somewhere, and nowhere in particular.

She is in a house. It was an ordinary house. It was her ordinary house and she belongs there. There is no reason to leave this house, it has everything she would ever need. She is happy here. Everyone is happy. Including her friend. Isn't her friend happy? Yes he is. She is sure of it.

No.

None of that is true.

The windows are bolted shut, the doors are non-existent, there is infinite electricity and water to sustain everyone in this home. Heck, she's not even alone, so there's no way for her to ever feel lonely. And if she ever gets bored, she can always stab her friend. Not like that's a big deal anyways, not like they could die. That is, if they can even still be deemed alive, which they might not even be. Time just seems to blur in this total limbo of livability. What else is there to do but to wait for her consciousness to give in and maybe one day stop thinking.

But that mentality is for losers, and she's anything but a loser.

Let's see, she can still remember her name at least. Her name is Pyrope, that much she had seared into her brain like hot iron branding. Her friend’s name is Strider, she even remembers that much. Too bad she hasn't seen him for quite some time. Maybe the guy just went and gave up already? She can't say she blames him, even though she does have to call him a loser as per her own rule. Sucks to suck. But eh, Strider has always been a bit of a doomer, alas.

There has to be something she could do. For every puzzling bullshit, there's a key, and she happens to hold an oversized one as her favorite stabbing implement. Too bad this ain't the key she needs, and she knows it. As it comes with puzzling bullshit, if there's nothing else she could do, she can always just google the answers.

She takes out her phone.

??? stabbingSentencer [?SS] has created the public memo “hom3 stuck s3nd h3lp or d13” at ??:?? PM

And now, they just gotta sit back and wait, maybe get some refreshments while she's at it. After all, what is waiting for an immortal? She just has to hold on a little while longer. Strider shouldn't have gone far, there's no way that dweeb would've abandoned her if he somehow found a way out. Yes. Like it or not, they're in this together. Now if only she could just get him out of his sorry butt, that'd be sweet.

Just as she placed down her phone, she felt it vibrate.

Somebody had answered.

Freedom may be closer than she thought.