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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-09-15
Words:
462
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
23
Kudos:
136
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14
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375

These Are Not The Stupid Prices You Are Looking For

Summary:

sometimes complicated problems have simple solutions

and sometimes, you're just burnt out enough to stumble upon them. Sifo-Dyas pays a spetsy (space-etsy) witch to uncurse him from his vision-riddled existence. somehow, it works.

Notes:

i may have seen one too many memes about the efficacy of etsy witches lately lol

so now this exists

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“What’s that?,” Jocasta leaned over his shoulders and grabbed for the datapad Sifo-Dyas had discarded in favor of a cup of fresh kaf.

He sensed her presence crinkle with disbelief.

“Confirmation,” she started reading out loud, “Of Uncursing?” She looked at Sifo and then blinked one, slowly and full of judgement. “Please what?”

Sy continued nursing his kaf. “Don’t look through my personal stuff if you’re going to be weird about it,” he grumbled into the liquid.

Yet Joccasta seemed to only be listening with half an ear anyways. Her focus had already returned to whatever was on the pad in front of her. “No, no, no.” Her tone tipped over into straight-up disbelief. “We’re not gonna leave this undiscussed, Sy. You spent actual, real life credits on some weird woman on the holonet ‘uncursing’ you? Please wha- Oh, wow, she even added a holo as ‘proof’! Look!”

She held the pad up so that Sifo-Dyas may deign to sneak a peek.

There was a nicely lit picture of some sort of ominously glistening black mass, spiked with what looked like a scorched animal tusk.

Jo flipped the pad back to herself. “Oh. My. Force. This is crazy.” She looked up. “You are crazy.”

“Thanks.”

“And just for the record, whoever this gal is? Also crazy.”

“Whatever you say.”

Almost to herself, he then heard Jo mumble, “Even the name’s crazy. Her Wetness Decays, like, what the fuck?”

 

…

 

“Say, Sy?” Yan was sitting on Sifo-Dyas’ sweaty back and evidently using the moment to, instead of catching a breath or celebrating his repeated victory, voice some of his eternally churning thoughts. “How are you feeling?”

“What do you mean?,” Sifo said into the padded flooring of the training salle.

“I mean what I say.” Yan’s weight on his back shifted, yet didn’t lift. That idiot probably was looking at him. “Are you feeling… all right?”

“Why do you ask all of the sudden?” Interacting with Yan always was full of mysteries indeed.

“You haven’t had a vision. For a while now.”

Sifo wanted to roll his eyes. But then he thought back.

He indeed hadn’t had a vision for quite some time now, had he? How long ago… hm. He tried to think back to the last one. It took him a moment.

Then, “Huh.”

 

…

 

Master Lene stared at him. As did the other assembled specialists.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, the altiri was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment. “So, Sifo. Just to reiterate. You’re saying that you paid a holonet witch to uncurse you and now you haven’t had a single vision in almost half a year?”

“Mmh!” Sy nodded.

His old Master dragged the hand over her nose and down. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? That worked? That?!”

Notes:

now, IS the spetsy witch Mother Talzin?
in my heart, yes.

but canon remains unconfirmed (i make canon)