Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The moment the door closes behind his son, dad, and grandma-in-law, Buck is at a loss.

Sure, he had said he'd tell the team about his time in the SEALs, but where does he even start? How much can he say with everything that's classified? Can he even bring himself to talk about some of the things he did or the worst days of his life?

“It's not necessarily a pretty story,” he warns.

“Sending Chris away kinda confirmed what we suspected, Buckaroo,” Hen says. “But if you're uncomfortable about it, you don't have to tell us.”

“I do. I didn't say anything before because I didn't want your opinion of me to change. But I don't think it will. I just don't know where to start. Because a lot of it at the beginning doesn't seem…important?”

Chimney raises a skeptical brow. “How is joining the SEALs not important?”

“Well, joining the SEALs wasn't- It wasn't a dream or anything. The Navy recruiter I met said I'd do well, and I just…went into training. And I had wanted to quit, but Hound found me before I could and talked to me. It was a sign, I guess, and I figured I could help people that way, you know? Protect them, help lower casualties. I could make a difference. But the job never sang to me. So…unimportant.”

Then, he looks at his husband with a grin. “Not until I met this one at least. That made the decision the best one I ever made.”

He can hear Chimney fake-gag before someone ribs him, the Asian letting out an oof.

“I think you mean not until we became friends,” his love corrects, planting a kiss on his forehead that makes Buck melt into a little puddle. “You didn't exactly like me.”

“I think it's the other way around.”

“I didn't know what to do with you, but I didn't hate you. You definitely glared at me several times.”

“I did not!”

“I'm sure you did.”

Buck turns his head to gape at his sister, who had spoken up. “But I didn't! I swear!”

“Knowing you, you did. Because you do that to people you don't like, and ‘Mr.Perfection just came in and made my team like him way faster than I did! That's so unfair!’ And I'd say that made you jealous enough to be unpleasant. I have the evidence if you need it.”

Buck pouts. So, okay, he might have been jealous. And, yeah, that sounds like something he would have-

Wait.

“Y-you kept them?”

Maddie gives him a sad look, which looks even sadder with her red-rimmed eyes. “Each and every one.”

Oh.

He had assumed, of course, what with Doug being able to track him - and therefore Maddie - down, but to hear it from her. To hear that she kept every single one…

“I genuinely want to see those,” his partner admits, alarming Buck and snapping his attention back to the matter at hand.

“No! Please don't, Madds!”

“I wanna see them too,” Hen agrees, a teasing grin on her face. “I bet Buck's reaction was golden.”

Buck whines. “You're ganging up on me when I’m down.”

“Are you down?”

“Yes,” he insists, petulant, dropping his head on his soulmate's shoulder, drawing a chuckle out of his other half.

“I guess we should tell them how we met before you're too hurt about it, cariño,” his beloved suggests, planting a kiss on his head, soothing the faux hurt he's experiencing.

Hen nods. “Please. Because Eddie mentioned it before rebar head became rebar head, but now I really want to know how you got from not liking each other to-” She waves in their direction. “-this?”

Chimney nods by her side, looking way too eager for the story, while Maddie just gives him a patient look.

Well, here goes nothing then.

Chapter Text

“You know, we're supposed to be working with the Army unit.”

Buck looks up at Hound, the Command Master Chief Petty Officer co-leading his platoon, with what he hopes is not a pout on his face. “I am working with them.”

“Uh huh. So why are you in here sulking while everyone else is out there?”

He huffs, turning around to face away from the man. Fortunately, after months together in the sands and Hound's ever-lasting patience, it's something Buck knows he won't mind.

“This attitude is probably why Diaz doesn't like you.”

At the name, Buck bristles. “I don't need him to like me.”

Hound sighs, taking a seat next to him. “Look, Pup, don't take it personally.”

“I’m not!” he hisses lowly before backtracking when Hound gives him a look. “Okay, so I don’t like him.”

”Jealousy does not suit you, Pup.”

”How am I supposed to not be jealous? Peach and the others hated me for months-“

”They did not hate you.”

”-then Diaz comes trotting along and makes instant friends with them? I mean, why do we even need him? He’s such a stick in the mud, I feel bad for his wife. The guy probably doesn’t even know what romance is!”

Hound sighs, long-suffering. “Well, one, we need his whole team for the upcoming assignment. Second, you have to understand that you were an unorthodox pick for this team. Of course, the team was going to need time to adjust to you. Third, you don’t even know Diaz.”

”I don’t need to,” he insists.

”Just…give him a chance?”

Buck huffs. “Fine.”

==============================================

It doesn’t get better. Buck sees Diaz talking with Peach, the two of them grinning, and has to turn away. He sees Tailpipe bickering with Diaz back and forth and accidentally punches Kangaroo during a sparring session. Diaz talks to his team like he’s one of them, the lot of them so engrossed that Buck's attempt to get them to notice him sitting right next to them fails miserably.

He hates it. He hates it even more than turning off his feelings.

Well, that’s a lie. It’s close, sure, but nothing will beat that feeling.

He gets it, of course. He gets that it's for the best. But it didn't sit well with him from the beginning, and the experience and guidance Hound has provided hasn't changed that.

So it’s just his luck that he gets assigned to Diaz on their joint assignment, doing what he hates most: turning the emotions off.

“Just do your thing,” he says, keeping a keen eye on the potential enemies that could pop up. “Before that guy dies.”

Diaz huffs, and Buck hears the pained groan of the soldier they had dragged out. “Might die anyway with all those enemies out there.”

”Not with me around.”

A movement and a blur of wrong colors has him firing, and he notes his accuracy with the precision of a computer.

He will not falter here. He cannot miss. It is his job. It is his duty.

So he focuses, doing things he would definitely be horrified for doing had his emotions been on. He watches for the enemy, pulls his trigger, and waits for the all clear, protecting his charge as long as the danger is out there.

And when he does get the all clear, the ‘good job’ from Hound, making him pull on his anchor, on his reminder of his sister who expects to see him as him one day, he’s met with-

Approval?

He…did not expect that from Diaz.

“You’re badass under pressure, brother.”

Wait.

Is-is Diaz praising him?

”Me?” he squeaks.

“Hell yeah. You can have my back any day.”

Oh.

“Yeah. Or, you know, you could…you could have mine.”

And the smile that he gets for that?

He really likes it.

=======================================

From then on, Buck made it his life mission to hang out with Eddie. Sure, they had their own assignments and training, but when neither of them had anything to do?

Well, Buck made his presence known.

“Wait, you have a kid. right?” he asks when they’re sitting in the mess area, the man sipping an absolutely trashy cup of coffee.

Eddie nods, pulling out a little picture from his pocket and handing it to him. “I do. Made it back in time for him to be born before coming back.”

Buck coos at the cute baby in the picture. “He’s so cute! I’m surprised you could tear yourself away!” Then, wondering if he sounds like a weirdo, he clarifies, “I love kids.”

”I love this one. But someone had to say the bills.”

He frowns. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

”It’s fine.”

But Buck doesn’t think it’s fine. “Not to make it about me, but at least you love your kid. Better than my parents, who just threw money at me like it could take the place of the love and affection I wanted. I think as long as you go home once you’re financially stable, it doesn’t matter if you’re just getting by or super wealthy. Your kid will be much happier having you around and your attention than having all the money in the world.”

Eddie gives him a sad look, which he really should have thought about before he opened his big mouth.

“But it’s fine!” he reassures hurriedly. “It’s all in the past! And I had my sister!”

And if that led to him gushing about the sister, temporarily filling the hole left by her silence, and Eddie talking about his own experience as an older sibling, the conversation lasting until curfew?

Well, it won’t be the first, nor will it be the last.

====================================================

“Seriously, Pup?”

Buck looks up at Oak, blinking innocently.

“Don't give me that look. You're going to give Diaz coffee and leave the rest of us hanging?”

He looks away, dropping all pretenses as he carefully mixes the exact amount of sugar and cream into the steaming cup of coffee. “I’ll get you guys a cup later.”

There’s a groan from behind him, and he grins, not a little amount of pride blooming in his chest that he can provide even just this little comfort and normality in a war zone.

It’s all thanks to Maddie, of course. Her one and only care package to him had included a can of coffee with all the accompaniments he could want, and it had been a hit with his team despite them still disliking him. After he ran out and Maddie hadn’t sent him anything else, he had just decided to spend his money on getting more coffee on top of all the other things he wanted and/or needed, having one of his old fellow trainees consolidate and send them to him for a fee.

Once his team started to include him and talk to him, he had asked why they didn’t just get the coffee and make it themselves, of course, but had been told no one could make it like him. He’s not sure if it’s true or if they’re lazy, but he took it in stride, providing the much-needed caffeine at least once every other day.

But if it’s the latter, they can suffer the consequences. He needs to make Eddie a cup before the man drinks any more of the gross stuff.

“Does he even take sugar and cream?”

Buck pauses, suddenly thinking back to the black coffee he’s seen Eddie drink. He had been so set on providing this for the man that he had completely forgotten about the man’s preferences.

But it’s really good with cream and sugar. Like, really good.

He’ll let Eddie try both, he decides, grabbing the coffee pot, eliciting protests from his team, but he’s already out of the tent and looking for the Army medic, finding him easily in the medic tent, sitting on the side of a bed with one of the Army guys with his arm in a sling.

“You know the protocol, man. Keep it clean and dry, adjust it if you need to, watch for infection.”

“Got it, man. Kinda sucks that this happened now though. I wanted to see the SEAL team in action again.”

Buck grins, bounding over. “What about us?”

The man with the sling startles, but Eddie just takes him in stride, well used to him by now, despite the two weeks it's been since they've been doing every other thing together.

“Connors here wanted to see your recklessness in action again,” Eddie deadpans, eliciting a snort out of Buck.

“Like you didn't follow me last time.”

Eddie had, in fact, followed Buck on their second joint mission out together. He had just been scaling a crumbling wall, thinking it would let him finish his initiative faster with very little risk to himself, when Eddie had followed him.

Had it not been for the whole emotions thing, he might have had a heart attack at the man's actions.

Nonetheless, they had both gotten out unscathed, and Eddie had given him a smirk at Buck's speechlessness. “Would’ve had to climb it anyway if you got hurt, so why not do it from the beginning? Gotta watch your back, right?”

So, now, they're universally known to be partners despite being in different branches of the military.

“Maybe one day you'll follow me instead and not do anything that could get you killed.”

“Oh? You're questioning me? Then maybe I should bring this coffee back for people who do appreciate me.”

Eddie’s eyes widen slightly, reaching out immediately for the caffeine in Buck's hands, which he eagerly hands over despite the fake threat.

“Cream?” the medic asks when he peers into it.

“And sugar,” he corrects. “But, trust me, it tastes way better that way.”

His friend gives it a skeptical look before taking a cautious sip, eyes widening when the taste finally hits him, and taking a larger gulp. “That’s really good. I love it.”

“Any more from where that came from?” the injured guy asks, peering over curiously.

He shakes the pot in his hand a bit. “Unless you take yours black and have a mug lying around here somewhere.”

“I guess it's yours then, Diaz.”

Eddie takes that as an invitation, extending his arm out for a refill.

“It’s not as good without the cream and sugar,” Buck reminds him.

“Try me.”

And when Eddie wrinkles his nose, frowning after the first sip?

“I told you so.”

But not even the half-hearted, nasty look Eddie sends him deters Buck's determination to give the man more coffee in the future.

====================

“Pup, you've really got to stop making heart eyes at the married Army guy.”

Buck snaps his head over to Hound, mortified at the accusation. There's only one Army guy he hangs out with, after all, and-

“I’m not making heart eyes at Eddie! He's my best friend!”

”Oh, so he’s your best friend now.”

“Yes! That’s it! We're like- like brothers!”

“I'm so using that as ammunition later,” Hound mumbles before a long-suffering sigh falling from his lips. “I love you like a brother, Pup. Tailpipe loves Kanga as a best friend. You don't fall into either of those categories with Diaz. You checked him out when we first got here-”

“I did not!”

“-and, in hindsight, the jealousy wasn't the only thing, was it? You were trying to get him to notice you.”

Buck sputters even as Hound continues.

“And I'm not upset or anything. We just figured someone would have to point it out to you, like how Peach had to point out you checking guys out.” Here, Hound pauses. “We only have one more task with them before we're moving, Pup. Don't go causing trouble pining for someone who you can't have, okay?”

“I'm not pining!” he protests.

Hound ruffles his hair. “Whatever you say, Pup. Just don't get yourself hurt over it. We'd hate to go after Diaz.”

Buck huffs. He's not pining after Eddie.

Though the feeling of safety and protection he's getting because of Hound is pretty nice.

====================

The thing is, Buck has to admit Hound and the others are right after he sits with the idea for a while. He does like Eddie. Maybe not love like Hound and the others are ribbing him about when no one's looking - they had definitely waited until Hound's initial warning is over with to start - but he does think Eddie is beautiful and competent and funny and-

Yeah, Buck might be in a bit of trouble. Just a tad.

But like how the moon pulls the tides or how Earth revolves around the sun, Buck stays by Eddie whenever he can, unable to pull away.

They won't be staying together at base long anyway, as Hound reminded him. One more and they have to go their separate ways, probably never talking again.

He hates the idea more than he can imagine.

“Hey, do you- do you want the coffee recipe?” he asks when the thought of their inevitable separation hits him again. “So you know how to make it when I leave?”

Eddie pauses in his enjoyment of the third cup of coffee Buck got him today, like he hadn’t thought about it. “Right. Your platoon is just passing by.”

“Yeah. One more mission with you guys and we'll be gone the next morning.”

His best friend frowns. “I- Even if you give it to me now, I won't be able to do anything with it.”

“I’ll leave you the supplies. Unless you’re so bad in the kitchen you can't even make coffee?”

Eddie snorts. “No. Not that bad. But I'll probably take a few tries to get it. Or have questions. Maybe if you leave your number with me?”

In any other situation (i.e., if Eddie weren't married or straight), Buck would think the man has an interest in him. As it is, he knows it isn't, but smiles anyway, hoping it's not too strained. “Yeah! I mean, there might be times that I can't pick it up. You know, stealth missions and everything. But I'll definitely text you!”

“It's fine. The time difference might make it difficult to have smooth contact anyway.”

Buck cocks his head to the side before it clicks. “You're going home?”

The medic nods. “Yeah. Because you're right. My son deserves a dad who’s there. And I've got some money saved up. Should give me enough time to find a job. My parents said they'd help too, so there's that.”

And Buck tries not to be disappointed. Eddie wants his number, doesn't he? That means they'll probably text at the very least.

But how long will that last?

“I'm happy for you,” he tells Eddie. “You’re going to be a great dad.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

Eddie smiles, soft and genuine. “Thanks, man. And, if you ever want, you can come visit.”

Buck can't help the surprise that he's sure appeared on his face. “I-I can visit you?”

“Only if you want. I know you'd want to see your sister, but you said you'd love to meet Christopher before so….”

“Yeah, I'll come,” he agrees, hopefully not too quickly. “I still have quite a bit to go before this tour is over, but, once I get back stateside and see Maddie, I'll come visit you!”

“I’ll look forward to seeing you again then.”

And it’s dangerous. It's dangerous to look forward to things like that when no one ever knows what's going to happen next in this place of blood and death. It's dangerous to put his heart on the line when Eddie would never reciprocate whatever blooming feelings Buck has for him.

But has Buck ever backed down in the face of danger?

No.

So if, when they're finally bid the Army team farewell, and Buck establishes one more anchor to help him flip his emotions back on?

Well, no one needs to know.

Chapter Text

Eddie Diaz is a responsible, family man. He listens to his parents, he took care of his sisters growing up, and he married his best friend whom he got pregnant despite not being in love with her.

He’s responsible, and his family is his top priority.

So, for Eddie, joining the military was a necessity, a way to provide for his child and wife. It’s a way to show he can be the man of the house.

Sure, it was a risky career, but what other options did he have that would provide the money and insurance?

He’d just have to make sure to keep his head on straight, listen to orders, do what he needed to do, stay out of trouble, and make it back home, he had decided once he signed on. No pissing off his CO, no recklessness, no acting before thinking, no taking unnecessary risks, no panicking.

And it served him well. His team was very impressed with him, and it’s not like his mentality is unique. All of the team is the same. Sure, they’ll laugh and joke around, trying to find some sort of normalcy and joy in the middle of a war zone, but they never acted out, staying professional no matter what.

Then, when their CO told them a SEAL team would be joining them for a handful of joint missions, Eddie had no qualms that they would be the same. After all, the Navy SEALs was amongst the elite.

So everything will be just fine.

====================================================

It is not.

They’re gathered to do introductions, both sides of this arrangement wanting to play nice with each other as long as they’re working together.

And Eddie is appalled.

Because this guy - Buck, or Pup, one of the SEAL officers had said - had just blatantly rolled his eyes at his CO then proceeded to snark back like a kid.

Probably a reckless kid too, considering the amount of punishment he’s going to get for-

Or not.

He’s stunned speechless when the CO just rolls his eyes right back, treating the comment about his ‘stupid, misleading, ridiculous introduction’ like a duck would water.

Just…what’s happening?

Has his CO just given up on doing anything about the immature behavior?

Eddie doesn’t know, but one thing’s for sure: he does not know what to do with the guy, and he’s going to stay the heck away.

Dealing with another teen who probably can’t even take care of a fish is not his top priority.

=========================================

The rest of the SEALs team is fine, though.

They’re calm and collected. They’ve got their heads on straight. They’re skilled.

Eddie quite likes them, actually, often finding himself sitting with them in the mess hall, sparring with them, talking to them, and listening as they share whatever they can about the missions they’ve been on before, and it’s during one of those that he finds himself on the topic of the chaos gremlin known as Pup.

It’s not a topic he really wants to hear about. If he has to be honest, the last two days have given him more and more reason to not be particularly fond of the guy. Eddie’s seen him glowering, huffing, stomping, and everything he’s seen Adriana and Sophia do when they’re throwing a tantrum, except for throwing things around. And that's only if he doesn't consider the harsh sparring match the guy had with Tailpipe.

Honestly, he’s 90% convinced the guy hates his guts.

How can the guy even be a SEAL? And how are they supposed to leave their lives in his hands?

”-and he was newish, right?” Oak is explaining. “But this kid doesn’t even care. He decides to climb up this rock formation like a monkey - with no prompting or forewarning, may I add - because he decided it was best for him to get to the bomb first.”

”Is he always like this?” he asks, unbidden. “Disregarding commands? Disrespecting all of you?”

”Well,” Peach says, head tilted to the side like he’s thinking. “There wasn’t a command to stay put at the time. But disrespecting? Eh, you can say he has a little issue with that. At least on the surface level.“

”But you’ve got to understand that Pup was not a conventional pick for a SEALs team,” Oak adds, his tone defensive about the guy who’s lowkey gotten on Eddie’s nerves. “He was just finishing training when Hound recruited him, and I think, because of his age and inexperience, Hound has been encouraging him to act out a little so he doesn’t have to feel like he has to hide or work within certain parameters.”

”Works too because Pup is very good at thinking outside of the box.”

”And he has a good head on his shoulders. He never means any harm.”

“Think of him as a hybrid puppy and tornado. Super nice guy once you get over the chaos that he brings.”

”He also-“

Eddie raises his hands in surrender before this can go on. “Okay, okay. I meant no harm in asking. He’s just…“

”Different.”

”Exactly.”

Peach laughs. “Trust me, Diaz. He’s one of the best people to have around once you decide to let him in. Ask any of our team that.”

He’s not sure if he can bring himself to believe that but acquiesces regardless, wanting to move on.

What has he got to lose by keeping his distance anyway? It’s not like they’ll be sticking around for long, Pup included.

==============================================

Then he gets paired up with the guy.

He’s not sure if it’s intentional or not, but, as much as he would like to, he’s not going to say anything about it, preferring to listen and stay out of trouble with his higher-ups.

He’ll just have to watch his back.

But then Eddie watches something shift, and the guy homes in. In the situation they’re in, there’s not much he can do besides save the life of the man they retrieved, but he does keep an eye on Pup, fascinated by the guy’s ability now that whatever problem he has isn’t at the forefront.

No wonder he got onto a SEALs team.

At least he doesn’t have to watch his back, he thinks as Pup methodically takes down one enemy after another, making Eddie feel safer than he's ever been since arriving in the sands. A part of him also wonders how true the rest of Oak and Peach’s comments about the guy are if they weren't exaggerating his skills. Maybe all he really needs to do is let the guy in.

That’s why, when all is said and done and they’re wrapping up loose ends, he turns to Pup once he’s sure the emotions are on, decision made.

“You’re badass under pressure, brother.”

Blue eyes widen in surprise, glimmering, and Eddie can’t help but think how much that felt like a sledgehammer on a rather flimsy wall created by…jealousy? Insecurity? A need for attention?

He's not quite sure, a little out of his depth about Pup's intentions, considering the guy’s whole attitude towards him. But it doesn't stop him from counting this interaction as a win when the guy squeaks out a “Me?”

“Hell yeah,” Eddie tells him honestly. “You can have my back any day.”

His affirmation seems to have a little trouble being processed, but Eddie gets a please look for his efforts anyway. “Yeah. Or, you know, you could…you could have mine.”

And Eddie can't say he hates the sound of that.

=====================

Somehow, after that, he understands where the puppy comparison came from firsthand because he ends up with an eager puppy trailing him, tracking him down at every possible moment and every possible corner.

And honestly?

Eddie kinda likes it.

As it turns out, Buck is around the same age as him, and, despite being at different points in their lives, it's so easy being around him. Buck has this presence about him - as well as his tendency to always have something interesting to talk about - that easily made Eddie want to open up, and, after realizing that not a single bone in Buck's body judges him, they've started to talk about anything and everything. Eddie soon learned about Buck's home life growing up, all the reckless actions he did to get his parents’ attention, anecdotes from his school life, how he joined the Navy, and about his estranged sister. In turn, Eddie told him about his sisters, his parents, what it was like growing up in Texas, Shannon - though he omitted how they got married despite realizing they don't love each other that way - and, most importantly, Christopher.

Oh, goodness, Christopher.

He might not have stayed long after his son was born, but he has enough to tell Buck, who positively gushes every time and asks exactly the right questions about the CP diagnosis without pity, which will also be a bonus point in his books.

It's like that that he finds himself craving those moments that they're both idle because that means he'll soon have one Evan Buckley in his orbit, and that means he can completely take his mind off of everything going on back home and the fact any one of them could die the next day.

“Wait. I what now?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, a cup of absolutely divine coffee in his hands. He'd never really given much thought to any kind of coffee other than black, taking after his dad's preferences despite how bitter black coffee tastes, but the cup Buck had introduced him to had completely opened his eyes with its perfect balance of silky creaminess, sweetness, and aromatic coffee.

He might be a little addicted to it, actually.

“You threw me off, okay, man?”

”I didn’t even know you!” Buck protests, firing up the coffee machine so he can make coffee for his team. Though if Eddie has to be honest, he might snag a bit more for himself.

“So what? Was I supposed to like some upstart that rolled his eyes at his CO and talked back?”

Buck huffs, pouting. “I shouldn't have asked.”

Eddie grins, tapping Buck's leg with his foot lightly. “Maybe I can make it up to you with more Christopher pictures?”

The reaction he gets for that is exactly what he'd imagine a puppy to have, ears perked up and all. It makes him smile even as he pulls out his iPad to pull up the pictures Shannon had sent through just hours ago, offering it to Buck as the other moves his chair so they are pressed side-by-side.

“He's so cute,” Buck coos, scrolling through and taking each one in. “And everything went okay with his surgery?”

“Yeah. The doctor said he should be feeling better now.”

“Good. I'm so glad.”

“I am too.”

“Aw, look at that smile!” Buck turns the iPad so Eddie can see what he's talking about. “He looks just like you.”

“Does he?”

“Yeah! I bet he's just as nice as you, too. I wish I could meet him.”

Eddie knows that it's probably a side comment, something that Buck didn't quite think about, but he files it away for later just in case.

Because if he can make it happen, that means he'll see Buck again after their teams head separate ways right?

========================

The day Buck's team leaves is a heart-wrenching one for sure, even though it really shouldn't be.

Because, somehow, Buck has wiggled his way under his skin in the month their teams have been working together, finding the spot in his life that Eddie has since labeled as ‘best friend’ and making it his. He made himself a fixture in Eddie’s life that Eddie doesn't want to get rid of.

They could text, of course. He gave Buck his number and extended an enthusiastically accepted invitation to visit him in El Paso. But he won't kid himself and say it'll be the same. And until Buck is back stateside, who knows what he'll be doing? Who knows if he'll make it out?

Eddie can’t help but worry, and even his upcoming homecoming can't erase the feeling.

“Take care of yourself, okay?” he says, knowing better to tell Buck to stay safe when the SEALs go through some very tough missions. Besides, which one of them is safe here?

“I will. And you too, okay? Text me if you need anything.”

“Right back at you.”

But maybe it's because it feels like his heart is in his throat, but when they turn to leave, he blurts out, “You don't have to text me only when you need something.”

The smile Buck gives him is blinding, and, when he receives a text that night despite the spotty reception, he realizes that Buck can bring some light and relief into his life that no one else can.

Guess that's a benefit of having a best friend.

Chapter Text

“Wait, I'm sorry, but I've got to know,” Hen says before his husband can continue their story. “Were those feelings purely platonic? Or were those feelings romantic, and you were just too deep in the closet to realize?”

“He didn't even realize there was a closet,” his love tells her, teasing.

Eddie pokes his beloved lightly in retaliation, mindful of all the possible injuries he had gotten. “I realized eventually, didn't I?”

“Yep. And that's all that matters. Besides, I know you loved my coffee first anyway.” His soulmate turns to his sister. “Thanks for that, by the way, Madds. Who knows if this one would have stuck around otherwise?”

He gapes, feeling a little attacked. “I will have you know that was definitely the good stuff. And I would have definitely stuck around regardless.”

“I know, I know,” his husband reassures, offering a kiss that Eddie happily accepts. “Love you too.”

“So it was romantic?” Chimney asks, looking anticipatory now that the question has piqued his interest.

“It was the start of something,” he acquiesces, not sure if he can exactly explain how his then-friend had meant to him even back then. It had been too much of a subconscious thing, and looking at it in hindsight is the same as looking at the whole thing with tinted lenses. All he knows is that, sometimes, he looked forward to those texts more than he had going home. Sure, he had wanted to take Buck’s words and be there for his son, but facing his parents and wife every single day? It was daunting, and anything from his now-husband had been a beacon of light.

Was the feeling of being able to let everything go romantic or platonic? Was grinning when he made himself a cup of coffee using the ingredients Buck left him? Was the anticipation of the next text from the Navy SEAL? The thrill when it happened? What about the anticipation for something that would finally let him know Buck was headed to El Paso to visit?

Maybe. Probably. But the short amount of time they had spent together had planted a seed of something, and that seed had definitely sprouted and was fertilized with every correspondence they had.

“Regardless, we kept in contact,” he tells them.

“Yeah. The reception was terrible, though, and it's not like I could always use my phone,” his partner adds. “So, unfortunately, it was pretty spotty and far apart at best.”

Hen raises a hand, looking like a realization has just dawned on her. “Is that why you use a physical planner? Because you learned to be without your phone?”

“Pretty much. That and my phone did get destroyed when we were moving between locations once. Then Christopher knocked it over into the toilet once, and that killed that phone. So I learned to have something less likely to be destroyed.”

“Speaking of destroyed, thankfully, this one insisted on sending letters when I got back. Otherwise, I think I would have freaked out,” Eddie admits, thinking back on how Buck had insisted on getting his address so they could write. He had been quite skeptical of the idea, but he's glad in hindsight.

“I also always wanted a pen pal, and it was the perfect excuse.”

“Not that you used any method to tell me you were hurt or that you were coming to El Paso.”

His husband grins sheepishly, his cheeks flushing slightly. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“At least it was a good surprise.”

Chapter Text

Buck is vibrating in excitement.

Ever since Eddie invited him to visit, he had been wanting to, putting it as the second thing to do when he got back stateside after visiting Maddie. And, while the circumstances that have brought him back to the states aren’t great to begin with - something he tries not to think too much about - and he wasn’t able to see his sister due to her being on a second honeymoon, he has to admit his blood is thrumming at the idea of seeing Eddie again.

Though he’s also quite nervous because he hadn’t told his best friend he was visiting, and there’s a part of him that worries he shouldn’t be doing this.

How would Eddie react when Buck shows up on his doorstep?

Does Eddie just want them to be friends via texts?

Will Eddie be as thrilled as Buck is to see the other?

Will Buck be welcomed?

How will Eddie’s wife and family react?

Every mile he covers has the nerves multiply, but by the time it gets so unbearable, he actually considers checking into a hotel to give Eddie a heads-up, Buck’s already standing in front of Eddie’s home.

Here goes nothing?

The moments between him ringing and doorbell and when the door opens are wracking, and his eyes instinctively dart around, taking in every single detail just to calm his nerves.

And when the door does open-

“Uh, hi?” he says, hoping his voice isn’t pitching like a teen.

The dark blonde woman eyes him skeptically with a healthy grain of suspicion, and Buck wonders if this is the woman lucky enough to call Eddie Diaz their husband. “You’re Shannon?”

”And you are?”

”Buck. I’m Buck. Evan Buckley. I know your husband? We met in-“

”Afghanistan. Yes. He’s talked about you. Navy, right?”

Buck gulps, uncertain about how this interaction is going and what she thinks of him showing up at her door unannounced, but gestures to his bag with his name and branch on it. “Um, yeah. And h-he’s talked about you too.”

Barely, but still.

“Well, I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you once he gets back from work. Do you-“ She sighs, and Buck worries he’s definitely imposing. “It’s kinda messy in here, but you’re welcome to come in if you like.”

Oh, good. She’s not kicking him away.

“If I’m not imposing.”

She opens the door further, shaking her head. “Nope. Not at all. I’ve been trying to get Christopher comfortable all morning and-“

A cry cuts her off, and, if Buck is not wrong, Shannon Diaz is very close to crying herself.

“Can I meet him?” he asks, hoping to take some burden off of her. From what Eddie’s told him, Christopher is always fussy because he’s uncomfortable, and that can’t be good for Shannon, who is a stay-at-home mom. “I’ve only ever seen pictures, and I’m sure he’s cuter in person.”

That draws a weak smile out of her, even as she guides them into a bedroom, which Buck assumes is the nursery based on how the cries are getting louder. “He might not be as cute when he’s like this.”

”Don’t worry about it. I’ve seen some absolutely terrible things. Everything else is an angel in comparison.”

And an angel little Christopher is.

“Hi,” he coos to the red-faced child when Shannon lifts him up, causing the baby to wail even more. “Aren’t you a cute one?”

Then, he looks up eagerly at Christopher’s mother. “Can I hold him?”

”Oh, I don’t know. He’s quite fussy.”

”I’ll be careful. Promise.”

He can tell there’s worry in her eyes and questions if it was a good idea to ask that. But Christopher really is an adorable baby, and how can he even try to pacify him for the woman when he can’t even hold the precious little one?

Okay, maybe he sounds and acts like a creep. Of course, Shannon wouldn’t let him hold her baby.

“Let me show you how.”

Buck startles a little at her acceptance and holds out his arms for her to arrange for Christopher to settle safely and comfortably into them, and when she puts Christopher in his arms?

Well, Buck has never loved someone as quickly.

“Hi, Christopher,” he murmurs, experimenting with a light rock with his whole body. He’s not quite sure how CP is entirely affecting the baby, but better safe than sorry. “Or do you prefer Chris?”

He has to admit it feels a little silly talking to a really upset baby who is one, probably very uncomfortable, and two, probably terrified of being in a stranger’s arms, but Buck has never been a quitter.

“Christian? Nah, that’s too much of a change. CD? Oh, absolutely not.”

Then, an idea pops into his mind.

“How about Superman? You’re a tough little one, aren’t you? Just like him. Though we’ll have to figure out what your kryptonite is. Maybe-“

Miraculously, the baby’s cries start dying down as he continues talking in a low murmur, and then blue eyes blink up at him in confusion.

“-or maybe you’ll have your dad’s tongue one day. Then we’ll have to be careful of people who don’t like that. But your dad is amazing, so I’m sure he’ll teach you.”

Shannon looks like she’s about to slump over with relief, and Buck gestures over at the chair leaning against the wall for her to rest in, knowing she wouldn’t feel safe leaving Christopher with someone she just met, not ten minutes ago.

Maybe they should move this to the kitchen so she can get something to eat? She definitely looks like she could use some sustenance. Or he could get them something-

“Oh right,” he breathes when the memory hits him, and he takes his attention off of Christopher for a moment to look at Shannon. “Eddie told me you guys are starting with purées now, but he’s being fussy about it, so I did some research and bought some. They’re in the car, which might be a terrible idea in hindsight, but I can go grab it in a bit.”

”You didn’t have to.”

”It’s fine. Besides, it’s almost Christopher’s birthday, right? Consider it a birthday present for him.”

”Eddie really tells you everything, doesn’t he?”

That sends little alarms in his head off, and Buck stops his movements mid panic, wondering if that’s something Eddie meant for Shannon to know. “Um, no. I don’t think so, at least. Most of the time, I’m just bored - looking at sand all the time does that to you - so I ask him stuff. Like Christopher’s birthday.”

Not entirely a lie, he thinks. He did ask after Eddie and Christopher, but Christopher’s birthday is definitely something Eddie had brought up himself. But he definitely has to watch what he says else Shannon gets angry at Eddie, because as much as he envies Shannon, Buck is not a homewrecker, and he doesn’t want his best friend to have arguments with his wife over him.

But before either one of them can say anything to his words, Christopher makes his thoughts about the lack of Buck’s attention known, whimpering, making him immediately return to cooing and talking to the baby to ward off the tears.

Then, not long after that, Eddie returns home, and Buck’s world finally feels complete.