Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Shedletsky walked along the same dull alley leading back to his house. The sky rang, pained groans echoing from the heavens. What was once a bright blue, now darkened into an ashy grey, as if the sky itself threatened to collapse in. 

Maybe the weather was mirroring his emotions. Shedletsky hated it. It only served to remind him of the thoughts that he had tried pushing to the back of his mind. 

Why couldn’t he have been better? A better father to 1x, a better admin for Builderman, a better person. He knew that he deserved the pain, still he wished he didn’t have to run. To run away from the truth. 

From his monstrous self. 

Shedletsky was only broken out of his thoughts when a faint glimmer on the path caught his eye. A hand mirror. Something that shouldn’t exist in such a diverged part of the alley. So what was it doing there? 

Shedletsky, intrigued, picked it up to closely inspect it. It looked fairly new, no dirt or cracks on it either. Perhaps someone else who was passing through had dropped it?

There were words in a fancy cursive carved into the mirror’s handle. Shedletsky read them out softly. “To see the past as you wished it to be”. Confused, he couldn’t help but wonder what the words meant. If they had served any meaning at all, that is. 

Leaning in closer, he caught sight of his own reflection. He hated how he looked, but he couldn’t help but continue staring, to see the endless faults in his own appearance.

His hair was disheveled from not combing it for so long and he had eye bags from the many nights he spent sleepless when his guilt and failures came to haunt him, leaving him helpless, sobbing quietly into his pillow. 

The bright twinkle that was once in his eyes was long gone, replaced with a deep dark void that seemed to suck in any positivity. He had really fallen a long way from who he had used to be, huh.

As Shedletsky stared even deeper into the mirror, he started to see his past. All his mistakes, all his failures. It felt real, like it truly was happening all over again. Only, he was on the other side of the mirror, unable to do anything to stop the events from happening. 

Shedletsky blinked, hard. He tried to convince himself that it wasn’t real, that it was just a figment of his imagination. But even the most delusional couldn’t deny the truth. 

What he was seeing in the mirror was indeed real. The mirror replayed his same nightmares, the ones where he was the villain in. It showed him, again and again, the suffering, the agonising screams incurred by his past self. 

Shedletsky didn’t want to watch, yet his eyes couldn’t seem to peel themselves from the glass. 

Then, just as quickly as it started, it stopped. The mirror clouded over, and no matter how hard Shedletsky tried cleaning it off, it wouldn’t clear. Slowly, letter by letter, a singular word appeared in the centre. 

“Retry?” 

His eyes widened almost comically. “Re…try…” Maybe Fate had taken pity on him and blessed him with an opportunity to fix it all. Of course he would take it, even if there were consequences for it. Nothing’s for free after all.

 “Just one more time…” Shedletsky whispered to himself.

“I’ll get it right this time.” 

As if the mirror heard his answer and was satisfied, the glass rippled as Shedletsky held tight onto the mirror, pulling him in. He could feel himself slipping. 

As he lost consciousness, a single, glistening tear slid down his face, landing on the pavement of the alley, marking the start of waves set into motion.

Chapter Text

When Shedletsky opened his eyes, the world smiled at him, but his reflection was gone. For the first time in months, he woke up to sunlight. No nightmares. No cold sweat. 

For a moment, he doesn’t breathe. He’s afraid it was another hallucination, another cruel trick of his memory. The air felt different — cleaner, gentler, but more sterile. 

Craning his neck out of the windowsill, he took in everything that was outside. The scenery had changed, he was at Roblox HQ in his room, but not the current one. He took a deep breath as the past headquarters greeted his eyes. 

He looked down at his clothes, now Telamon’s robes, and frowned. That thing brought back bad memories.

At least now, Shedletsky had confirmation that he was really in the past. He remembered burning these robes to ashes with his own hands when he decided to leave his identity as Telamon behind.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He reached in and saw a notification from past 1x.

—————

Hey Telamon… Do we train today?

—————

Guilt swelled in his chest. He couldn’t even bear to look at the message again. 1x sounded miserable. Had he been… so, so cruel that his own creation didn’t even see him as a father? That they were terrified of him? He had been such a bad parent.  He felt like breaking down on the spot.

“Oh, my precious child 1x… I'm so sorry. I really don’t know what got into me back then…” His eyes misted up at the thought of him abusing his own creation, his child. 

But for now, he was glad they were at least alive. He wiped away his tears that had sprang up without his knowledge and replied to the message.

—————

Yeps! We do!

You sound… different. But sure, I’ll be waiting at the training ground.

—————

The day went by perfectly, too perfectly. Everything was synchronised, like a reflection in a dusty mirror. No outbursts, nothing. Shedletsky somewhat appreciated the uneventfulness, though it kept him on edge. 

It was the calm before the storm, and Shedletsky was dreading whatever was coming next.

Trying his best to shove those thoughts to the back of his mind, he tried to adopt more of Telamon’s carefree attitude and tried to continue on with the day.

Later that day, he bumped into Builderman outside the admin office. 

“Hey Telamon! Haven’t really seen ya up and ‘bout lately.” Builderman greeted, pulling him into a friendly hug, which was gingerly returned. 

He scrutinised Shedletsky’s, no, Telamon’s face, taking in their features. 

“Ya look…hmm. A little… different? Better perhaps, but not the same. Heh, it’s almost like deja vu!”

“Haha… maybe I’m not getting enough sleep…” Shedletsky tried to laugh it off, but deep inside he couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was indeed wrong. 

Deciding to grab lunch together, they walked to a nearby cafe together, Builderman laughing and joking along the way. Shedletsky nodded along to what he was saying, despite not really registering any of it. 

This body he was in didn’t feel like him. Every heartbeat felt borrowed, every blink a fragile wish. It was wrong.

The soft clinking of bells announced the two admins’ entrance. Taking a seat at an empty table close to the window, they placed their orders. The cafe food was decently good, but Shedletsky was too caught up in his own thoughts to properly savour it. 

Why am I still so nervous? Everything will be alright. I will fix my mistakes. Then, I can finally be free from this grief. 

“Hey Tela, ya good? S’thing on ya mind?”

Builderman’ voice snapped Shedletsky out of his mind’s cage. He looked up to find Builderman looking at him with a concerned expression on his face.

“H-huh? Oh, I’m fine. Nothing I couldn’t handle~” Shedletsky forced a grin on his face, hoping Builderman wouldn’t prod any further.

“If you say so…” He reluctantly gave in, instead continuing with his earlier rant of the problems in the office.

The rest of the day went by uneventfully, but the world still felt too bright. The colors were too piercing, the sounds were too shattering, like it was artificial. 

Like this reality was a stage, setting up an audition for Shedletsky and Shedletsky alone.

He was trapped here whether he liked it or not, forced to perform in a play that he had no control over, for the phantom audience that he couldn’t see.