Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was quiet.

1x1x1x1 stood upon the main pillar of an empty server of The Heights, silently looking into the distance. There were no sharp sounds of swords clanking against each other or agony filled screams of the newly fallen, just quiet. In the past, 1x1x1x1 would have been irritated by the lack of noise, but right now he couldn't bring himself to hate it. He rarely ever felt hate anymore after Telamon died.

It had been years since Telamon had fallen by 1x1x1x1’s own blades, days of non-stop battle only to end with a daemonshank through the admins chest. 1x1x1x1 had expected to feel relief, satisfaction, a sweet sort of hatred at seeing the god take his final breaths right in front of him, yet nothing could have prepared him to feel nothing. Telamon's death didn’t bring him the peace he so desperately had craved, it brought him nothing.

His death was strangely peaceful, something that filled 1x1x1x1 with faint disgust every time he thought of it. Telamon didn’t deserve a peaceful end. He deserved thousands of years of torture before being granted the sweet release of death. Yet that didn’t happen. Telamon did not scream when 1x1x1x1’s sword sliced through his heart, not even a whimper. He just stared at 1x1x1x1 like a deer in headlights and then… passed. No words of hate, no pleads for mercy, just a final ragged breath before slumping over.

After that, since 1x1x1x1 was technically Telamon's next of kin, he took over Telamon’s role as ruler of The Heights and his title as an admin. There was no celebration, quite the opposite actually. Robloxians shook in terror, admins stared at him in a mix of horror and disgust, not even 1x1x1x1 felt happy about that arrangement. Becoming exactly what Telamon was revolted him, yet he accepted the role for reasons even he did not know.

He didn’t change much about The Heights. As much as Telamon was a shitty father, he was an amazing ruler and admin. He wasn’t always fair, but he wasn’t one of the most praised admins for nothing. All 1x1x1x1 has done so far was fix some bugs and make the gameplay more just, that’s it. He was never taught how to be an admin, he was never taught a lot of things. Telamon was too busy teaching him how to sword fight than how to be a human being.

He wasn’t very well received at the Roblox Headquarters either. The admins never wanted to interact with him in any way, shape or form. Dusekkar never looked 1x1x1x1 in the eyes, Doombringer always lost his temper around him, and Builderman tried his best to exclude 1x1x1x1 from any meetings or events. They all looked at him with so much hatred, and 1x1x1x1 couldn't blame them for that. Despite Telamon being a horrible person to 1x1x1x1, he knew that wasn’t the case with everyone. Telamon was extremely close to the admins, those three especially, so 1x1x1x1 would have been a fool if he expected them to just get over his death.

He was brought back to reality by the soft tweets of a bird looking right at him. 1x1x1x1 stared back, both being locked in an intense staring contest before the bird took flight, causing 1x1x1x1 to flinch ever so slightly at the sudden movement. The bird was beautiful, a house finch with a warm crimson coloration on its chest and a fuzzy brown body, the bird being so small 1x1x1x1 could probably crush its little body using just one hand. The bird circled around 1x1x1x1’s head for a few moments before flying off into the distance. 1x1x1x1 blinked as he watched the bird fly away, wondering momentarily where the bird might be going.

1x1x1x1 walked towards the edge of the pillar and stared down at the clouds circling the bottom. If this were a public server, he would have seen the faint lights of Robloxia city and maybe even heard the sounds of cars driving past, that is if the sounds of swords clattering against each other didn’t muffle it. Yet since this was a private server, Telamon’s private server, he wouldn't be able to see such things no matter how hard he tried.

Admins with domains usually always had a private server where they resided, and Telamon was no different. The server still looked like The Heights, however sported many great changes that made it different to any other server. The main difference was the huge temple where Telamon used to live and 1x1x1x1 grew up in, a grand structure with a lovely garden surrounding it, however the garden has been quite a mess ever since 1x1x1x1 took charge. The temple was mostly white with golden accents and great stone statues of Telamon himself at the entrance, statues that have now been reduced to stone stumps on the ground after one of 1x1x1x1’s small tantrums.

As much as 1x1x1x1 wanted to despise everything Telamon created, he had to admit that the temple was truly a work of art. Weirdly enough, the inside of the temple wasn’t nearly as grand, still royally decorated of course, but many of the rooms resembled any other home in Robloxia. A normal kitchen, normal bedrooms, hell even a normal living room. It seemed like a great place for a family to live, a shame that Telamon never considered 1x1x1x1 as family.

1x1x1x1’s eyes slightly narrowed at that thought, quickly shooing it away and as he made his way into the temple. There were never any maids or servants walking around the halls, and yet there wasn’t a single speck of dust anywhere. Whenever there was someone in the server, it was almost always one of 1x1x1x1’s minions or a very rare visit from an admin, usually Dusekkar. The pumpkin headed mage still very obviously loathed him, however 1x1x1x1 could tell that out of all the admins, Dusekkar hated him the least.

Right now there was no other person in the server except 1x1x1x1, and he was fine with that. It wasn’t like he was not used to isolation. A thousand years trapped in the banlands does that to a person. 1x1x1x1’s body shuttered at the reminder of his time in the banlands, the years when agony and despair was all he knew. At least that was in the past now, he would never have to go through that again. Hopefully.

1x1x1x1 stopped walking and suddenly hunched over as a sharp pain spread along his back, leaning against the wall before slowly composing himself. He frowned, this pain had been going on for a long time, coming back in stabbing bursts of agony before fading into a dull ache. It started somewhere three years ago, getting worse and worse each time the pain returned.
Back then, 1x1x1x1 simply brushed it off, chalking it up to his age before going back to doing whatever the hell he was doing before. 1x1x1x1 isn’t ignoring it anymore, but what is he going to do? Normal robloxian hospitals aren’t built to help a being like him, and the other admins surely wouldn’t give a fuck, in fact they might even be happy that he is in pain.

1x1x1x1 released a deep sigh before continuing to walk towards his room. A bit of pain isn't going to stop him, he is 1x1x1x1 for god’s sake! He had survived brutal sword fights, torture most robloxians couldn’t even fathom, even a fight to the death against an actual god. Yeah, back pain isn’t going to be what defeats him. He would just tough it out like he always does. 1x1x1x1 huffed as he walked into his room and stepped inside, slamming the door behind him and leaving the server in silence once more.

It was quiet.

Chapter Text

The smell of iron and blood assaulted 1x1x1x1’s nose as he gagged due to the pain he felt all over his body. His arms trembled, his blistered hands holding onto the little wooden sword Telamon had given him that weighed much more than he could carry. Telamon stood a couple meters in front of him, his face expressionless yet his eyes showing a glint of disappointment.

“Again.” Telamon’s monotone voice boomed across The Heights. In his hand he held his favorite sword, the Illumina. 1x1x1x1 swore that the deity cared more about that stupid sword than him, his own child.

1x1x1x1 didn’t move for a moment, his bottom lip quivering as he looked up at his creator. His eyes pleaded with the god to let him rest, let him have a break, yet Telamon stayed silent. 1x1x1x1 swallowed before taking a step forward, then another, and breaking into a sprint. He used all of his remaining strength to swing the sword, aiming towards Telamon’s torso. It was all in vain as Telamon easily dodged the sorry excuse of an attack and sliced the Illumina against 1x1x1x1’s side, resulting in another scream of agony from the boy.

“Sloppy.” Telamon stared at 1x1x1x1, the child kneeling over and pressing his hand against the bleeding wound.

Fresh tears spilled from 1x1x1x1’s eyes as he kept his eyes trained towards the ground, his own ragged breathing and whimpers of pain being the only sounds he could hear. He was tired. He was so, so tired. His body was already littered with old scars from past training that no child his age should bear, reminders that haunted him every time he looked in the mirror. He had already begged, pleaded with his creator to stop the sword fighting and let him play like any other kid, yet Telamon never agreed. Any time he would ask, the training would just get harsher and harsher. 1x1x1x1 barely heard Telamon’s footsteps over his own heart pounding in his ears. A harsh hand gripped 1x1x1x1’s face and forced his eyes upwards, the boy gasping at the sudden force.

“Did you not hear Telamon 1x1x1x1? Do it again.” The god’s voice cracked with impatience as he stared at the shaking boy in front of him. 1x1x1x1 could see so much anger in the admins eyes that it terrified him.

“Father…” 1x1x1x1 whined as the hand on his chin tightened so hard that he could feel his bones grinding, “Creator, please stop. I… I swear I'll train harder tomorrow just let me rest right now please.”

Telamon’s eyes squinted and 1x1x1x1 thought that maybe, just maybe Telamon would grant him a moment's rest and let him take a break. However his hope was short lived as the god threw him to the ground, the boy yelping as his fresh wounds scraped against the hard, unforgiving floor.

“A great swordsman does not simply give up when he’s slightly tired 1x1x1x1. If he does that on the field, he dies. Get up, and do it again.” Telamon took some steps back to create distance between him and 1x1x1x1, still staring at him with that cold gaze.

1x1x1x1 shakily stood up again, grasping onto the wooden sword as if it were a lifeline before sprinting towards Telamon and missing his slash once more. The bloodied child had just a couple of seconds to brace himself as the Illumina stabbed him, this time on his back, the boy letting out a scream of distress before crumbling to the ground again. It hurt, it hurt so bad and he felt like he was dying and Telamon was yelling and there was so much blood and his back stung so much and

•••

1x1x1x1 woke up with a sharp gasp, his hands scrambling to touch his back. There was no blood, no wounds to much of his relief, however that continuous throbbing pain was back. He furrowed his eyebrows and swallowed, briefly trying to breath through the unbearable ache before feeling the acidic sting of stomach acid behind his throat and quickly rushing out of bed, barely reaching the bathroom on time. Sounds of retching echoed through the halls as he emptied the contents of his stomach, the disgusting taste of bile flooding his mouth and causing him to puke even more.

After what seemed like hours, 1x1x1x1 finally stood up from crouching, his nose slightly twitching from disgust at the remains of half digested food in the toilet. Flushing the vomit away, 1x1x1x1 made his way to the front of the mirror. He looked terrible. His hair was an uncombed mess, his eyes were sunken and he looked a little pale. He placed his hand under the faucet and brought the small amount of water to his mouth, gargling and then spitting it back into the sink. The act didn’t fully get rid of the awful taste in his mouth, but it helped.

“Fucking hell…” 1x1x1x1 couldn’t remember the last time he had a nightmare that bad. He did usually have dreams of the past, but it never shook him up this badly before.

Cold sweat stuck to the back of 1x1x1x1’s neck. There was no way he would be able to sleep again tonight, an exhausted sigh leaving his mouth at that realization. He left his room and started speed walking towards the exit of the temple, summoning both his Daemonshanks in his hands. If he couldn’t sleep, might as well burn some energy by hitting things. Maybe it would even distract him from the still burning pain on his back.

…Something was definitely wrong with him.

Chapter Text

Sounds of splintering wood and heavy thuds filled the otherwise silent server that was The Heights. 1x1x1x1 sliced through the weak bodies of the wooden training dummies, a burning smell filling his nose as the Daemonshanks acid sizzled through the mannequins. Ever since he was a child, he wondered why Telamon didn’t just let him train using the life sized dummies rather than the deity himself, but nowadays 1x1x1x1 understands that the admin probably just wanted to beat him up. That sadistic fuck. The thought of Telamon only served to fuel his anger, as he stabbed through another wooden doll with more force than necessary, the mannequin becoming nothing but a pile of melted goop and dust.

Even though the fighting helped ease his nerves, it did next to nothing to distract him from the burning sensation on his back. Another wave of pain pulsed through his body as he groaned, momentarily stopping before continuing his rampage. 1x1x1x1 knew that moving around would probably only make his back worse, but he couldn’t care less. It was either focus on destroying the dummies or focus on the agony.

After a while, there were no more mannequins to destroy, leaving 1x1x1x1 alone, surrounded by the pitiful remains of wood and acid. Heavy breathing turned into groans of pain as he hunched over once more. The last time his back hurt this much was when Telamon ripped his wings out before banishing him to the banlands, yet that obviously wasn’t the case right now. He had no more wings to rip off, so what the fuck was causing this pain?

1x1x1x1 stood up again, legs shaking from the exertion. He stumbled his way towards the temple again, maybe he would finally be able to get some sleep, before hearing a quiet dripping noise. He looked up, perhaps it was raining, however he saw nothing, only the pitch black night sky and the occasional cloud. He wasn’t sure it could even rain in The Heights, but what else could that dripping noise be? Only when he looked down at the floor behind him was when he saw little crimson splotches on the ground. Placing a hand on his back, he shuddered at a wet, sticky feeling coating his fingers. Pulling back, he could barely see the scarlet coloured liquid against the black shade of his hand.

Concern quickly grew into full fledged panic as 1x1x1x1 realized that he was bleeding. He tried to stagger towards the temple again, yet another burst of pain dropped him to his knees. His arms shook as he steadied himself, feeling the cold touch of ichor spilling from his back and onto his sides before dripping onto the floor. The edges of his vision were starting to dim to black, the sound of ripping becoming distant as he faded into unconsciousness.

•••

Telamon stared in disbelief at what was in front of him, at who was in front of him. It had been a day like any other, with Telamon completing his admin duties in the morning, having lunch with Builderman, sword fighting against frail robloxians during the afternoon, and relaxing in his temple at night. Telamon should have known that today would be different from the pain he felt pulsing through his back when he woke up. It was an ache that stayed persistent during the day, causing him to be irritable and take out his stress on the robloxians at The Heights. It annoyed him to an extreme. The pain had become unbearable at the end of the day, luckily Telamon was already in his private server when it happened.

A parasitic mass ripped through his back, mangling his majestic wings and leaving him writhing in agony. And now he was here. His robes sticky with blood, his eyes brimming with unshed tears, and a little white baby sobbing on the now crimson floor. Frankly, Telamon could not believe his eyes. With trembling hands, he picked up the squirming mass from the ground, shoulder leaning against the wall.

Big green eyes stared back at him, slightly glossy from previous crying. Little hiccups came from the baby as Telamon breathed heavily. He glared at the little things' wings, tiny white stumps that reflected Telamon's own ones. However this… creature had now rendered his wings useless, at least temporarily. That thought sent a wave of anger through Telamon's body, the flame of fury being swiftly extinguished by a soft coo coming from the youngling in his arms.

He limped out of his room and towards the kitchen, where he left his phone. Quickly drying his hands using some paper napkins as to not smear blood all over the device, he dialed a number he knew all too well.

“Hello? What’s up Tela?” Builderman's gruff voice felt like comfort in this situation, a small grin manifesting on Telamon's face before the stinging pain from his wounded back wiped it away.

“Builds… I… I don't…” As much as Telamon tried, he couldn’t find the words to describe what was happening, the sudden relief of Builderman's voice tying a knot around his throat as a fresh batch of tears spilled from his eyes. Builderman stayed silent on the other line for a couple of seconds before reappearing again, this time with a frantic sequence of questions.

“Telamon? Is everything okay? Are you hurt? Do you want me to come over?” Builderman didn’t know what was happening, however he knew it was serious if Telamon was panicking. He has never heard Telamon cry before, so the quiet sobs on the phone was enough to give him goosebumps.

“Please.” Was all Telamon could breath out, hanging up the phone before Builderman could ask anything else. The temple was once again overcome with silence, the only sounds coming from the tiny child in his arms. He looked down again, the baby still staring at him, and felt nothing.

•••

When 1x1x1x1 awoke from his unconsciousness, his nose was assaulted by the sharp smell of iron. He leaned on one of his shoulders, his back still burning, and groggily took a look at his surroundings. He had passed out for a couple hours at least judging by the fact that it wasn’t night time anymore. The sun stared down at him in what felt like a cruel intensity, his eyes squinting before averting his gaze.

1x1x1x1 swallowed, hesitantly touching his back again before retreating his hand with a hiss. There was a gaping, bloody wound that stung with every small movement he made. Confusion finally set in as he wondered what the hell just happened. One minute he was fighting the training dummies, and the other he was on the floor, bleeding profusely for what seemed like no reason at all.

Suddenly, a sharp cry echoes through The Heights, causing 1x1x1x1 to flinch. He didn’t make that noise, and there was supposed to be no one in the server but him, so what the fuck was the source of that noise? A small whimper snapped him out from his confused thoughts, 1x1x1x1 turning around to confront the origin of sound, only to come face to face with a little bundle of light yellow feathers.

Chapter Text

There weren't many things that could scare 1x1x1x1. After all, he had conquered terrors most people wouldn’t even dream of encountering. From hackers, to glitches, to even gods, he has fought them all. He has experienced torture that would leave others a shell of who they once were, yet he has survived. He has been forced to battle monsters of all kinds, yet he has survived. Every time. He. Has. Survived. All that torment had left him numb to any type of horror that may confront him, leaving him feeling nothing rather than fear.

So, to say that 1x1x1x1 was absolutely petrified at that moment would be the understatement of the century. There was nothing but silence all across The Heights as he stared at the tiny, fuzzy yellow baby that lay on the floor next to him. Its lemon colour was stained red, feathers sticking to each other which was probably really uncomfortable. Small tufts of brown hair adorned its head, laying flatly. Its wings were practically minuscule, wet brown feathers shaking slightly due to the cold breeze.

After what felt like days, but was most likely just a couple of minutes, 1x1x1x1 slowly stood up, towering over the youngling who was now crying. He picked it up with the carefulness of someone diffusing a bomb and stared at the still sobbing child. He recognized those glossy brown eyes. How could he not? It was the same eyes that he spent most of his childhood fearing. It looked exactly like a younger version of Telamon. He didn’t realize that he was digging his claws into the baby’s sides until an especially shrill cry broke through his thoughts, small drops of crimson blending in with 1x1x1x1s own blood covering the kid.

He didn’t stop. He had a faint memory of when he was younger of hearing that Telamon along with the other main admins were immortal. He doesn’t remember where exactly he heard it, maybe while overhearing a phone call between Telamon and Builderman or maybe when reading a book, but it doesn’t matter where. He had dismissed that claim when he had killed Telamon, chalking it up to just rumours. After all, the god had taken his last breath right in front of him, there was no way he was immortal. But maybe this was it. Maybe this is what they had meant.

The thought caused 1x1x1x1 to grip onto the baby harder, squeezing out more pathetic high-pitched whines. If this was Telamon, then it deserved every ounce of pain it was feeling right now. A sick smile spread across his face as small chuckles escaped his mouth, quickly morphing its full fletched laughter.

“The great Telamon… reduced to a pathetic defenceless thing.” 1x1x1x1 exclaimed to no one in particular, gaze still fixed at the baby's weeping face. If past Telamon could see himself now, he would be disgusted, and that image brought him so much joy.

1x1x1x1 hummed to himself as he strolled towards the edge of the main giant pillar as if had all the time in the world. His feet touched the border and he stretched out his arms, dangling the child over the edge. Watching as its little legs swayed slightly in the air, still struggling amongst 1x1x1x1s iron grip. A couple more huffs of laughter spilled from his lips and he held the baby higher, enjoying the little things confused panic.

“You’re pathetic, you know that?” 1x1x1x1 growled at the kid. “Look at yourself. You are absolutely at my mercy Telamon. At any moment I could just fling you over this edge and there would be nothing you could do about it.”

The child whimpered. 1x1x1x1s smile widened.

“It feels bad doesn’t it? Being helpless in the hands of someone much bigger than you, huh? Do you know how I felt all those years ago Telamon? DO YOU?” He yelled out the last part, slightly shaking the child in his hands. The baby sobbed, more tears falling onto 1x1x1x1s wrists, the cold sting doing nothing to deter him.

1x1x1x1 snarled. It was no use, the child was too busy crying and whining to listen to him, most likely trying to trick him. He coldly glared at the baby before slightly softening his grip, no longer digging into its ribs but instead being on the brink of letting it go. As much as he wanted to torture it, stab into its chest and strangle Telamon using its own intestines, he was delirious from blood loss and wanted to just get on with it. The baby would fall, most likely die slowly from starvation or something since he wasn’t sure there was even a bottom to the empty void, and 1x1x1x1 would never have to think about it again. He could live in peace knowing that he has killed Telamon twice, both ways being completely different yet still painful and… and…

Both of the baby's hands were wrapped around each of his thumbs, the grip so powerful that it blocked the circulation. Eyes tightly shut as small, soft whimpers escaped from its trembling lips, tears still dripping down its face. 1x1x1x1s mouth opened slightly, his left eyebrow twitching faintly as his arms shook. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he brought the child away from the edge and towards its chest, taking a couple of steps back until he was at the center of the fire ring. His eyes squinted, confused by his own actions, looking down at the baby whose fists were still gripping his thumbs tightly.

He readjusted his grasp, settling for cradling the still bloodied kid using one of his arms. Its loud cries had already been diminished to whimpers, opening its eyes once more and staring straight at 1x1x1x1s face. With his free hand, he gently stretched a finger in front of the baby's face, which it gladly bit into. It didn’t hurt, it didn’t have any teeth yet, but instead covered 1x1x1x1s finger in slobber.

Telamon wouldn't act like this. He would be too proud to do so. Does… does it not remember anything? 1x1x1x1s eyebrows furrowed at that thought, his finger still being used as a chew toy by the youngling in his arms. He swiftly retreated his finger, wiping away the saliva onto his pants as he thought of what to do next. He could abandon the kid onto a random doorstep in Robloxia, maybe drop him off into an orphanage, but something inside him screamed at him not to. Besides, this was no normal baby. The average robloxian wouldn’t know how to take care of it.

Suddenly, an idea appeared in 1x1x1x1’s mind. A small smile formed on his face as he bounced the child, causing some giggles to come from it. He walked towards the temple, a sharp pain reminding him of the giant tear on his back. He’s gonna have to get that patched up. Climbing up the entrance stairs, he once again glanced at the child, his mind made up.

The greatest revenge against Telamon…

…would be to raise him better than he ever raised 1x1x1x1.

Chapter Text

It had been hours since 1x1x1x1’s decision was made. Since then, he had patched up the wound on his back and stitched it back up again. It would most likely heal in a day or two due to his god genes. He had also given the baby a bath to wash off all the blood covering the poor creature. Without the red pigmentation, 1x1x1x1 could see its fuzzy body better. It was a very light yellow, to the point that it would look white from a distance. The wounds caused by 1x1x1x1s nails also weren't too deep, which he patched up as well. Lastly, he ripped up a random cloak from his closet to act as a makeshift blanket, wrapping it around the baby’s small, trembling body.

All in all, everything was going great. Except for one small, teeny tiny detail.

He had no idea how to raise a child.

He had never taken care of any living being in his life, not even a hamster. A very little 1x1x1x1 had asked Telamon for one many years ago, however the request was subsequently denied. It felt strange to know that he was now responsible for something so fragile that it could probably die from a strong breeze or something. He didn’t know. Could strong wind kill a baby? His eyebrows furrowed as he let out a deep sigh of exhaustion and brought up his hands to his head, sitting down on his bed. He needed to calm down. If robloxians could do this, then 1x1x1x1 surely could too.

Soft little coos caught 1x1x1x1s attention, turning his head around to glance at the baby squirming against the pitch black fabric of his now ruined cloak. He didn’t know why he didn’t just wrap him up in an already existing small towel instead of ripping up his clothes. Guess he just wasn’t thinking straight. He shuffled, picking up the child and standing up, its little fist grabbing onto his shirt. It’s so strange how something so small could have such powerful grip strength. He huffed, cradling the child as he walked out of his room and wandered the halls.

He could tell the other admins. He could explain what happened and they could help him. They had more experience with babies than 1x1x1x1 considering they had babysat him multiple times when Telamon had to go out. Besides, they were infinitely more ‘human’ than he is. But… they obviously didn’t trust him. They’d somehow judge him for this and maybe even take the baby away from him. He couldn’t let that happen.

It's not like he could ask normal robloxians for help either. Those frail critters were absolutely terrified of him. Plus, news of what he was doing would eventually reach the admins, rendering the whole thing useless. Perhaps he could just learn from the internet, there is lots of useful information on there. Yeah, he could do that.

Another problem, the child needed more than his care to survive. 1x1x1x1 wasn’t stupid, he knew that babies needed some sort of nourishment and other things to survive, like diapers. Would he have to learn how to change diapers? Gross, he would just get one of his minions to do it. It needed a crib too, right? God, he would have to find a way to buy all these things without any admins finding out. After all, it would be extremely suspicious to see the great 1x1x1x1 buying baby bottles and pacifiers from your local supermarket.

There was probably a lot of other stuff he would have to do as well, like education. At what age should a child start to learn shit? Could he teach a 5 year old algebra or was that too advanced? He wasn’t really sure that he himself knew algebra, considering Telamon had decided that turning him into a swordsman was much more important than any type of mathematics. What about social skills? Could children be trusted to make good friends or would 1x1x1x1 have to choose that for him? 1x1x1x1 was suddenly overwhelmed by the amount of things he did not know, and that terrified him. He didn’t even want this child in the first place and now he had to keep it alive and learn all these things.

…Is this how Telamon felt when he was born?

Gently grabbing the kids sides so as to not aggravate the small little pricks on its ribs, he brought it up to his face.

“How did you learn all these things huh? You used the internet as well?” He received a gargle in response. Very useful. It was weird to think about how this useless little thing used to be a feared, all-powerful god. It felt wrong to link this innocent creature with someone as terrible as Telamon. Besides, the thing couldn’t even remember his time as the admin. Maybe he should name it, that would at least bring him some comfort. He thought profusely, in spite of not knowing jackshit about children, he knew that choosing a name was an important process. He found himself at the entrance of the temple, looking out into the distant red-orange skies as he pondered.

“...Shedletsky.” It was a horrible name. A horrible, terrible name that elicited a giggle from the bundle of cloth and feathers in his arms. He looked down at the small little smile on its face.

“You like that name? Shedletsky?” More giggles. Well, at least he wasn’t naming his kid something stupid like Alfie or something. He hugged the baby tighter, a soft smile forming across his face. He may have to learn a lot of new things that would probably confuse him, but if he must do that then so be it. He wasn’t going to fail this child like Telamon failed him. He was better than Telamon.

He was pretty sure that his old crib was stuffed inside of a random closet in one of the many bedrooms of the temple, he could easily fix it up and reuse it. He could also just order any of the baby's necessities to avoid interacting with the mortals of Robloxia city. Online forums would teach him anything he needed to know to keep the child alive and happy.

Yeah… everything is going to be just fine.

Chapter Text

After around half an hour of searching, 1x1x1x1 finally found his old crib. It was tucked in a random, abandoned room which contained some other stuff from when he was younger. Most of it, like old pacifiers or baby bottles, was unusable, so he would probably have to buy those. The crib itself was made of maple wood, its natural colour peeking out from under the chipped off white paint. Luckily, it had been kept away from moisture, so the wood didn't rot away. Thank god. All 1x1x1x1 had to do was reassemble it and give it a clean up for it to be perfect.

In the meantime, the baby was currently fast asleep on a makeshift bed of pillows. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but the kid didn’t seem to mind. Plus, 1x1x1x1 would prefer the baby to be in his direct line of view instead of in a random room. He didn’t know what could pose a threat for the child's safety. Who knows, maybe being lonely could stress it into a heart attack.

Nevertheless, he needed to fix up the crib as soon as possible unless he wanted Shedletsky to get scoliosis from sleeping on the floor, even if it was cushioned. And so, after a lot of struggle and a lot of tutorial videos, he had finally finished. The paint was still chipped off since he was too busy actually making the crib to worry about its colour but other than that, it was ready to be used. He gently picked up the baby so as to not wake it up and carried it towards the crib to continue its slumber, only for him to realize that the crib was missing a tiny mattress. Whatever. He just shoved some pillows in there in the meantime and lowered the child.

Alright, the crib is done, the baby's asleep and it's not dead yet. That's great. Amazing even! He’s doing such a good job. He thinks. Anyways, his job is not even close to done yet as he still needs to stock up on other baby items and learn how to actually take care of the thing. After a few seconds of silence, he decides that the second thing is much more important than the first. He leaves the room and returns just moments after, a sleek silver laptop in his hands. He pulls up a chair next to the crib and opens the device, the blue light coming from the screen irritating his eyes a little.

Now, what would be the best place to learn how to take care of babies? After typing, deleting, and retyping questions into the google search bar he comes across a Wikihow with pictures on how to care for an infant. He’s not sure a Wikihow is the best place to learn about stuff, but any information is welcomed in this situation. Besides, it can't be that bad.

Okay, first step, make sure the baby is fed. 1x1x1x1 scoffs, well that's obvious isn't it, and continues to read. Babies usually need around eight to twelve feedings per day and drink milk or formula. He’s pretty sure that formula can be found in any supermarket ever, so that's not an issue. Alright, the next step is to keep the baby clean as their immune system has not yet developed and are susceptible to different pathogens. He can do that. What else…

By the time that 1x1x1x1 finished reading the Wikihow and many other articles, the night sky was already visible from the room's small window and honestly, 1x1x1x1 was kinda worried. Did you know that babies had very soft skulls that could get deformed from sleeping in the same position? How the fuck was he supposed to prevent that?

1x1x1x1 massaged the sides of his head using his hands. He barely had this baby for more than eight hours and it was already starting to stress him out. A very loud rumbling sound also reminded him that he hasn’t eaten for the whole day, too distracted by the baby situation to realize. He stood up and walked towards the door, briefly glancing back at the still sleeping youngling. He figured he could leave it alone for a couple of minutes and continued on his journey towards the kitchen.

There wasn’t much food in the fridge or the pantries, only finding some bread, cheese and ham. And that's all he needs. After some minutes of preparing, he was now sitting on a very empty kitchen table and taking the first bite out of his sandwich. It was good enough, the first bite all of a sudden waking his stomach up as he tore into the remaining sandwich. He would have to go shopping tomorrow in order to get all the other baby stuff he was missing. Maybe some toys too. He never had that as a kid, so it would be nice for Shedletsky to have at least some.

After he finished devouring that sandwich, he filled up a glass with water and strolled towards the room where the kid was asleep. Sitting onto the chair again and almost spilling his water, he allowed himself to relax a bit. His back still stung against the wooden backrest, but it was already much better than before. He just hoped that it wouldn’t scar. He already had two light green gashes permanently engraved on his back where his wings used to be, he didn’t need more.

Feeling his eyes droop ever so slightly, he gazed towards the kid. Its tiny wings occasionally twitched in its sleep along with its eyebrows. Maybe it was dreaming. He didn’t know what a baby could possibly dream of, but that seemed to be a good enough explanation for its little movements. He drank what remained of his water and set the glass cup on the floor, far away from his laptop and the crib. The last thing he needed right now was a broken device and a crib with water damage.

After a while, 1x1x1x1 himself drifted off, still sitting on the wooden chair.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 awoke with the soft chirps of birds outside and the gentle morning sunlight. He groggily blinked once or twice before being reminded of the now awake baby next to him. He rubbed his eyes as he stood up, back aching not because of the almost healed wound but because of the position he slept in. Even with the source of his past back pain taken care of, he really can’t catch a break.

He supposed that today he would have to finally buy all those baby products that he needs. He stretched his arms upwards before tapping his pockets in search of his phone, taking it out once he felt which pocket it was in. Despite his many years of living, he was practically still an old man when it came to technology, so finding out how to work each app was an exhausting process. It's not his fault that he was too busy trying to survive in the banlands instead of catching up with the latest tech.

“Let’s see…” He made a mental list of all the things he needed. Baby bottles, formula, pacifiers, baby clothes, diapers (gross), what else? Toys maybe? No, he wanted to buy those in person. Make sure the quality was up to his standards. Now all he had to do was reroute the location of the delivery so that he could go pick it up later. He remembered that there was a house for sale that should be empty near Roblox HQ, at least there was the last time he went there. If he’s lucky, there should still be no one there.

He finished up the payments and hoped he didn’t accidentally order everything twice before finally drifting his attention to the squirming baby in the crib. The little thing had so much energy so early in the morning and was currently staring at 1x1x1x1 with those huge eyes. He picked the child up and cradled it in his arms, careful not to crush its wings. He didn’t want a repeat of yesterday, so he made sure to go to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for himself before he forgot.

Unfortunately for 1x1x1x1, food didn’t appear in the fridge overnight. After some snooping, he did end up finding some cornflakes stuffed in the back of a cabinet and some milk that according to the label has been expired for two days. Whatever, it wasn’t like two days after the date was gonna kill him. And so he organized himself some very sad breakfast with a cup of orange juice. If he was going to raise this kid then he should most likely stock his kitchen with foods that wouldn’t immediately kill an infant.

As he thought, he felt a wet, cold substance in his arm and looked down. The baby drooled on him. Eugh.

His nose twitched and he promptly grabbed a napkin to wipe his arm and the kids spit covered chin. Guess he'd have to get used to gross things like that now. After twenty minutes, he finished his breakfast and moved on to washing the dishes he used. He had also received a notification that the order had been delivered. He wasn’t in the mood to go all the way down to Roblox HQ and so he summoned one of his minions to do it for him instead, specifically ordering it to not be seen.

“Oi! Oi!” The black and green figure swiftly left to complete its master's orders. 1x1x1x1 swore that the reanimated corpses acted like they were children sometimes. He thought of what he might do next while he waits for the minion to return with the order as he makes his way towards his room. Laying the baby down on his bed, he walks over to the bathroom and brushes his teeth. He figured that maybe going to the garden would be good for the child. He read somewhere that nature was important for a kid's mental development. He carried the baby who was now very interested in chewing on the ends of his hair over to the yard, almost tripping on an overgrown root on the ground. Despite the terrible, overgrown plant appearance of the whole yard, Shedletsky seemed to like it based on the little squeals of excitement he let out at seeing an especially brightly coloured flower.

He really has to clean this place up. He strolled around the place for a couple of minutes, stopping momentarily whenever the baby reached out towards any of the flowers or leaves, until he heard the hurried footsteps of his minion returning. Leaving the garden and leading the minion towards the kitchen, he orders it to drop the groceries onto the table and dismisses the zombie, watching as it disintegrates and returns to the ground from which he came.

Almost as if on cue, the baby in his arms starts to wail for the first time since the day it was born. At first, 1x1x1x1 assumed that it was just spooked from the minion ‘dying’, but realized almost instantly that it was probably just hungry. Thank god he has formula now. Placing the kid onto the table, he picks up the formula and baby bottle from inside the plastic bags and starts to prepare it from memory. From what he remembers, he needs to heat up water and then mix in the formula powder. As the water boiled, he cleaned the tip of the baby bottle using some wipes before doing anything he could to comfort the sobbing child. The noise was starting to hurt his ears.

After a couple of minutes, he decided that the water was warm enough, not too hot and not too cold and mixed in the formula. Pouring the makeshift milk into the bottle, he placed it to the baby's lips, breathing out a small sigh of relief when it took it in.

Sadly, this relief was short-lived when the kid spat out the formula and started to cry again. Eyebrows furrowing, he tried to offer the bottle again only for it to be rejected, the baby wailing even harder. It wasn’t drinking. Why wasn’t it drinking?

1x1x1x1 tried bouncing the child to get it to stop crying yet it was no use. He started pacing left and right as he thought of all the reasons as to why the kid refused to drink. Maybe it wasn’t hungry? No, there was nothing else that would explain its crying then, he checked. Maybe it wanted something else? But the only other option was milk which wasn’t much different from the formula. Maybe it just didn’t like this particular brand of formula? He wasn’t sure babies could have opinions like that at their young age.

He needs the internet again. Rushing towards his room to pick up the forgotten laptop, only to realize halfway that his phone was in his pocket the whole time and using that instead, he searched up, hurriedly reading what google had to say and was presented with three possibilities. The first one being illness. 1x1x1x1 held up the sobbing baby, observing it from different angles. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with it, even its temperature was normal. The second one was that the baby was uncomfortable. He tried adjusting his grip and trying again. It didn’t work. The last one was that the baby just wasn’t hungry, which 1x1x1x1 had already ruled out.

In a final act of desperation, he searched up ‘what do god children eat’. He knew that he most likely wouldn’t get an answer but god damn it he was stressing. Weirdly enough, he did get an answer, something about ancient Greek mythology. He squinted his eyes, trying to focus on what was written over the sounds of the baby wailing. It didn’t really make sense, but it was worth a try.

•••

Honey.

Of course it was honey.

He had mixed honey with water in order to make it easier to drink, and the baby gladly took it. He was currently sitting at the foot of some stairs, ears ringing as he held up the bottle to the baby's face, the small thing hungrily drinking. He sighed. Looks like he bought all that formula for nothing.

…He needs some Tylenol.

Chapter Text

It has been months since 007n7 last used his hacks for evil.

Ever since he found c00lkidd abandoned on his doorstep his life had been completely turned around, in a good way of course. Sure, there were times in which he could swear he physically felt his hair turning white and there were times in which he missed trolling random noobs alongside his partner in crime Noli, but he would never even dream of going back.

C00lkidd had given him something a thousand times better than any of those hacking sprees. Actual genuine happiness and pride. Every little milestone that c00lkidd accomplished was enough to satisfy his soul, even if that milestone was a simple giggle or smile. At first, Noli had not been happy with the little red menace that suddenly appeared in both their lives. In fact, he clearly remembers having a screaming match with him over whether or not to leave the baby at an orphanage. It was the biggest fight they ever had. 007n7 won obviously considering that the baby was still here, but Noli proclaimed that he would never love the kid.

So it was extremely funny to see him pretend that that statement was still true. He sees the way Noli looks at c00lkidd when he thinks no one is looking. The way Noli sometimes brings back gifts, saying that they were just in the clearance section and that there was no actual thought put into them whenever 007n7 confronted him. He heard Noli reading c00lkidd a bedtime story once. That man always forgets how thin their apartment walls are.

Anyways, today 007n7 was taking a nightly stroll alongside some of the more obscure shops in Robloxia. It was pretty dangerous, but the prices were always much lower and there were less people to recognize him. Barely anyone came around here, so it was a miracle the stores were still open. Plus, he was an extremely infamous and dangerous hacker. Who the fuck could pose a threat to him?

That was before he met the actual boogeyman of Roblox in a little, slightly dusty toy store in the corner of an alleyway. 1x1x1x1. Slayer of admins, killer of monsters, demon of the banlands, and who was seemingly currently deciding between a brown chicken plushie and a white chicken plushie. Upon seeing the glitched admin, his stupid body decided that a freeze response was much better than a fight or flight one, 007n7 stuck gawking at him like a rabbit staring at a wolf. After what felt like days, 1x1x1x1 eventually noticed the man, face morphing into a snarl.

“What are you looking at?” The pure venom in that sentence was enough to snap 007n7 out of whatever trance he was in. He stammered over his words under 1x1x1x1’s poisonous gaze, who was getting more and more impatient waiting for a response. 007n7 decides that he would much rather be able to see c00lkidd again than rot away in an alley, so he searches his already stressed brain for a response. Any answer is better than no answer!

“Are you really buying stuffed animals?” Except that one! Oh god why would he say that? Okay, great, he was probably going to get gutted now. He would never be able to say goodbye to Noli or c00lkidd and Noli would have to raise the kid alone and no one would care since he used to be a hacker and he would die alone. So he was extremely confused when no sword or chainsaw sliced his chest open right now. Instead, he opens his previously clenched eyes to find an extremely awkward looking 1x1x1x1.

“...Why does it matter?” The underlying nervousness in the admins voice only served to confuse him even more.

“Because you are a feared hacker looking through stuffies like your life depends on it. You have a kid or something?”

“...No.”

“Then why are you here?”

“These are… for… me.”

“...You’re buying plushies… for yourself…?”

“Yes.”

007n7 honestly had no idea what to say. Should he run? Laugh? Ask more questions? All of the above? Turns out, he did none of those things. Instead, he very cautiously made his way to where 1x1x1x1 was standing and reached his hand up towards a shelf, grabbing onto a yellow chicken plushie and handing it to the admin.

“I think this one's cuter.” 1x1x1x1 took the stuffie from his hand and observed it momentarily before nodding slightly, shoving the toy into a red basket around his arm. 007n7 briefly glanced into the basket and saw multiple other plushies and toys, causing him to furrow his eyebrows. The admin must’ve noticed the confusion on his face, a scowl morphing on his face as he pulled the basket back.

“You wanna die right now hacker?!” 007n7 was suddenly reminded of just who was standing next to him as he jumped back, almost bumping into a shelf of toys behind him.

“No sir!”

Both men continued on their shopping journey, 007n7 sometimes pointing out some plushies he thought 1x1x1x1 might like, relaxing a little more whenever he actually took the toy. After a couple more minutes, they went towards the register where the teenage cashier working there looked like she was about to burst into tears, eyes fixed on the green, skeletal man next to him. The two of them paid the poor girl, 1x1x1x1 grabbing onto the front of her shirt and threatening her to not talk about him being there before leaving. Outside of the store, the men stared into each other's eyes, both standing awkwardly before 1x1x1x1 gave him a half-assed wave and sprinted further into the alley, leaving 007n7 alone.

The walk back to his apartment was a blur. One moment he was still at that alleyway and the next he was silently unlocking the door. Walking inside, he witnessed Noli rapidly drop c00lkidd from his arms onto the soft sofa and spin around to greet 007n7.

“Heyyyyy Sev! What took you so long? I was so sick of being alone here with that disgusting red vermin.”

“Noli you won’t believe what just happened.”

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 was extremely sweaty by the time he reached the temple. All he wanted was to pick up some toys for the baby and instead had to come face to face with one of the most infamous hackers of all time. Not only did he completely lose his composure but he also embarrassed himself in front of the ex-felon. God he was so stupid. At least he wouldn’t be able to alert the admins of 1x1x1x1’s little shopping spree because of his reputation. Plus, he remembers overhearing Builderman and Doombringer talk about 007n7 during one of the meetings that all admins were required to attend, including himself, about how he also had a baby now. He was probably too busy with that problem to care about snitching on 1x1x1x1.

At least he got the toys. Many of them were super brightly coloured since the internet told him that colour was important for a child's mental development and creativity, but all the colour did was hurt his eyes. He also picked up some corner guards from a random shop near the toy store, the only employee fast asleep on the job. He wasn’t going to let his child die from bumping its squishy head on the corner of a cabinet.

The whole ordeal must have taken around twenty minutes, the whole time Shedletsky being home alone. He knew that it was definitely not okay to leave your baby alone, but he figured that not much could happen in twenty minutes. The baby couldn’t even roll over let alone crawl away, so it couldn’t get itself into any sort of trouble. Plus, 1x1x1x1 made a little fort of pillows on his bed and placed the kid in the middle. Completely injury proof.

Nevertheless, he still went to check up on the child, breathing a small sigh of relief at seeing it was still alive. Shedletsky seemed to perk up when it saw him, waving its chubby little arms around and making squealing noises. He opened the plastic bag in his hands and reached in for the yellow chicken plushie 007n7 had given him. In the bag there also was a light blue bunny plush, some building blocks, plastic balls, a shaker and 1x1x1x1s personal favorite, a stuffed possum toy. He lowered the chicken towards the kids outstretched arms, arms that immediately hugged the toy upon taking hold of it.

Cute.

As much as he would like to just loiter around, he had work to do. He just hoped he had grabbed enough corner guards for the whole house. There must be at least twenty-five rooms in the entire temple, most in which were unused, to baby proof. Who knew how many sharp edges were just waiting to impale the baby's head. 1x1x1x1 sighed, the impending hard work already weighing down on his shoulders. Well, might as well start with his room.

1x1x1x1 made his way around the room, sticking on the rubber triangles to the edges of his drawers and his desk. The corners of the bed itself also needed to be softened, especially since it was perfectly the height of a stood up baby. Sure, Shedletsky hasn’t started to walk yet, much less stand up, but better safe than sorry. He walked around the room two or three more times to make sure all the corners were protected before moving on to the next room he used the most. The kitchen.

He found that the kitchen had much more sharp edges than his room. After he was done with all that, he moved on to the baby room where the crib was located. Then the next room. And the next. And another one. Then he realized he forgot about the bathrooms and dragged himself back to his bedroom to start over.

•••

Fifty six.

Fifty six goddamn rooms. And that's not even counting the bathrooms.

Why, in the actual fuck, would Telamon need this many rooms. Most of them seemed to just be guest rooms and offices, which made no sense since barely anyone stayed over when 1x1x1x1 was a child and no man should need more than one office. Maybe Telamon just knew that this would happen and wanted to torture his future self. Who knows. Well, at least he was done. He brought his hand to his forehead and walked over towards his room again, where the baby proofing journey began.

The kid was still hugging the chicken, busy biting the plushie’s soft beak to care that 1x1x1x1 was gone for a prolonged period of time. He glanced over at the baby before checking the clock. It was almost time for another feeding. Picking up the baby and subsequently the chicken as well, he also picked up the discarded baby bottle and walked to the kitchen, legs slightly burning from all the walking he was doing. He picked up a small pot and filled it with water, placing it onto the stove in order to boil. He also already took out the honey. Now all he needed to do was wait.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, he realized that he hadn’t actually interacted with the baby much. Like sure, he made sure it didn’t die and picked it up from time to time, but he hadn’t tried to play with it at all. He placed the kid on top of the table only for it to almost immediately fall backwards before 1x1x1x1 placed a hand on its back. He forgot that the baby was too weak to even hold up its own body weight.

He stared at the kid for a while, thinking of what to do. Babies liked funny faces right? And funny noises? As much as it would damage his ego to do both of those things, it wasn’t as if anyone other than the child was here to witness it.

“...Blehhhh.” He stuck out his tongue, voice still monotone as he tried to make the kid laugh. It worked. Soon, loud giggles filled the empty halls of the temple as Shedletsky reached towards his face, grabbing onto it and slightly pulling. It hurt a bit, but he has experienced worse.

Minutes passed of 1x1x1x1 trying out different noises and faces before realizing that the water was already bubbling. He laid the baby down on the table gently so as to not hurt it and turned off the stove, mixing in the honey with the water. As soon as the water cooled down, he poured it into the empty baby bottle and dripped some onto his wrist to make sure it was cold enough. After confirming that the temperature was good, he returned to the table, picking up the baby and feeding it.

His eyes stung a little from the tiredness caused by running all over the temple, but it was worth it. He yawned, strolling towards the baby room. He forgot to buy a baby mattress. He let out a loud groan.

Chapter Text

After the very tiring ordeal yesterday, 1x1x1x1 had put the baby to bed and went to sleep himself, practically passing out the moment his head hit the pillow. When he woke up, it was already around twelve judging by the position of the sun in the sky. Stretching his arms upwards, he groggily got out of bed, rubbing one of his eyes as he went over to the baby's room. Weirdly enough, the kid was still fast asleep, showing no signs of waking up. At least that gave 1x1x1x1 some time to himself.

In the kitchen, opened the fridge in search of anything edible, but quickly realized that he had some serious grocery shopping to do. The kitchen was almost entirely devoid of anything edible, the few pieces of food that he could find being overtaken by mold or just looked plain disgusting. There was a brown and pink gelatinous mass in the right hand corner of the bottom shelf of the fridge. What the fuck even was that? 1x1x1x1 didn’t know, and frankly he wasn’t going to waste more time trying to figure it out.

He simply did the same thing he did when ordering all the baby stuff for the kid, ordering it online and sending one of his minions to go pick it up. It hadn’t even been half an hour before his kitchen was now stocked up with all kinds of random fresh food he found on that wonder of an app. Truly, all he did was randomly click on whatever foods seemed good enough. He hauled many of the foods and placed them in their respective locations. Dry foods in the kitchen cabinet, perishables going in the fridge, bla bla bla.

After all that was done, he realized that he had yet to eat anything, and now with all these choices he could freely choose whatever. Should he just have some toast and butter? Nah, he was in the mood for something sweeter. Maybe he could bake a cake, that would be nice. Plus, he deserved a nice treat after all the hard work he was doing lately. He never baked before, but it surely couldn’t be that hard.

Picking up his phone again, he searched up some recipes online and eventually landed on a simple white cake. It seemed easy enough and much less complicated than some of the other recipes he came across. Alright, first things first, he needs a bowl. He has that. Somewhere. After some searching, he does eventually find a nice, big plastic bowl to mix in all the ingredients. He also grabbed a whisk while he was at it, he was pretty sure he would need it in the future.

Okay, first step, beat the sugar and butter together until it is light and fluffy. He measured the sugar using a random cup he found and put it in the bowl. He grabbed the butter from the fridge, the butter luckily still being soft since it wasn’t in the fridge for too long, and shoved it in the bowl as well. Now all he needed to do was beat them together. That was basically hitting stuff, and he was good at that. He smacked the whisk against the ingredients and after a couple of minutes both of them were mixed together, however the substance was not light nor fluffy. Eh, good enough.

Next, he needed to add eggs. 1x1x1x1 opened the fridge, searching for eggs, but he found none. He did find some strawberry soda though. How does he have soda but no eggs?! Could he just replace the eggs with soda? Soda tastes good, so it’ll make the cake taste good too. Probably. He added a random amount of soda and mixed it into the batter, the mixture turning bright pink.

Alright, so far so good. Next, he needs to put flour, baking powder and salt in the bowl. He added the flour, replaced the baking powder with more flour since he didn’t have any, and added some pink, chunky salt crystals. He mixed it all together, reading the last step before actually baking the cake. The last ingredient was milk. He didn’t have milk. He really does suck at grocery shopping. Whatever, he’ll just add more strawberry soda.

He placed his extremely hot pink concoction in the oven, realizing that he didn’t preheat it. He just figured that it wouldn’t matter and just turned on the oven now. The cake will just bake as the temperature rises. Okay, and now he has to wait thirty minutes. He’ll just check on the baby in the meantime. When he reached the baby room, Shedletsky was already awake and seemed to be as groggy as 1x1x1x1 felt.

•••

The timer on his phone set off, signaling that the cake was done and ready to eat. He was extremely hungry now, so he practically skipped towards the kitchen, ready to take a look at his masterpiece. He turned off the oven and eagerly opened it, putting on oven mittens so as to not burn his hands and taking the cake out.

It was still very pink, some places looking more cooked than others. The cake barely grew due to the lack of baking powder, looking extremely dense since he added more flour than was necessary. The edges looked burned while the middle looked raw. How did that even happen? 1x1x1x1 wasn’t sure this was even edible, face scrunching up in disgust. Well, he spent all this time baking the cake, and he definitely wasn’t going to let it go to waste! He cut into it, the cake cracking, crumbling and wetly falling apart all at the same time. At least it would taste good… he thinks.

It did not. 1x1x1x1 had tried to push through and eat the whole slice, only to end up in the bathroom puking his guts out. He didn’t even know that a cake like this could taste this bad. Looks like he would just have to eat some toast.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 had honestly had enough. Everyday, he only used four out of the fifty six rooms in the entire temple, those rooms being his own bedroom, the baby room, the kitchen and sometimes his office. The rest was merely taking up space, only serving to annoy 1x1x1x1 with their existence. And so he came up with a simple solution. He would find a purpose for each and every room, one by one.

And so he took off on his journey, baby in hand, to complete his extremely important goal. His first stop was the room right next to his, in which he guessed was supposed to be yet another office based on the desk and the absurd amount of cabinets. He looked around, trying to think about what this room would be based on the size and height of the area.

“What do you think Shed? You think this place would be big enough for a library?” The baby seemed to listen to him as it bobbed its head around, taking a look for himself before offering a babble in response. Library it is. 1x1x1x1 guessed that it would be quite nice to have a quiet reading area where he could relax for a few moments. He took out a sticky note and wrote the word library on it, sticking it onto the door. Alright, onto the next room.

And so he and the kid continued on their intense voyage around the house, choosing and picking which rooms they could renovate and which rooms they could keep the same. Despite 1x1x1x1 not having visitors often, it couldn’t hurt to have three or four guest rooms just in case. Every so often, the baby would provide its own insights in the form of complete gibberish, nonsense that 1x1x1x1 would consider in their final judgement. So far, they had reimagined some rooms as a mini theatre, a gym, a play area for when Shedletsky was a little older, a laundry room, a lounge, and many more ideas that would take too long to list.

Eventually, they reached an area in which 1x1x1x1 was slightly dreading. Telamon's room. He didn’t really plan to change it, even though he wanted nothing to do with the god it felt wrong to just erase his existence, but he went in anyways. The place was grand, a white and gold king sized bed with a plush frame was pushed against a wall, being surrounded by see-through bed hangings. Two cabinets were perched on either side of the bed with lamps on top of them. A massive window allowed there to be a grand view of the heights and the garden, some of the vines creeping up at the glass. A wardrobe stood opposite to the bed, seemingly made of deep mahogany and polished with wax to make it look shiny.

The whole room looked like it cost more than the average house in Robloxia, 1x1x1x1 rolling his eyes at the absurdity. Thousands of people were suffering from poverty while Telamon was able to possess such luxuries for himself, probably not even thinking of others. Not even 1x1x1x1. He was told to be grateful to have a tiny little room at a random wing of the temple, the chamber only having a bed, a wardrobe and nothing else. He took some more steps into Telamon's room and opened the wardrobe doors, only to be greeted by multiple copies of the same robe. He looked down at the child in his arms.

“You see that? In the past, those robes were all you would wear, kid. Never knew how you didn’t get sick of it.” 1x1x1x1 pushed some clothes away with his free hand, eyes landing on a cardboard box at the very corner of the closet, the box looking very out of place compared to the silk cloths and expensive robes. Furrowing his eyebrows, he grabbed onto the box, almost dropping it because of its unexpected weight. He made his way towards Telamon's bed and lowered the baby onto it, using both hands to open the box. The contents inside made his eyes widen in surprise.

It was mostly just unimportant papers and documents, and yet right in the middle of all that clutter lay a photo album with his name written on the cover. He picked it up with slightly trembling hands, dropping the box onto the floor and turning to the first page.

He was greeted with a very old photograph, the edges withering away a bit, of Telamon holding onto a very small white baby. Was that how he looked like as a child? Builderman was also in the photo, holding up the camera and having a huge smile on his face, albeit a little worried. The baby was softly asleep in the deity’s arms, hand wrapped around the small blanket on top of him. Telamon himself didn’t look too happy, face locked in a slight frown as he stared down at the slumbering child.

1x1x1x1 turned to another page. Then another. Then another. He kept skimming through the photographs until he found one that he remembered all too well. It was his seventh birthday, and by far the only one that had any sort of celebration. The ‘party’ wasn’t much, just a small cupcake that Doombringer brought and a present that Builderman And Dusekkar had put together, and yet it was enough to make him cry like a baby.

•••

1x1x1x1 was brought to Roblox HQ by Telamon as a small birthday gift, the special day being the only time he was allowed to leave The Heights. He would be happy if it wasn’t for the admin still controlling his every movement, not allowing him to stray too far or do anything for that matter. 1x1x1x1 was trapped in his office, staring at the ticking clock as his creator worked on some documents online.

After what seemed like forever, the god had left to pick up something and had left him behind. He would go snooping around, but the last time he did that resulted in a very harsh training the next day, so he didn’t want to risk that happening again. He could still feel the pain of broken bones from that time. And so he was left to his own thoughts, that is until he heard a small knock on the door. Before 1x1x1x1 had any time to inform whoever was there that Telamon wasn’t here, Builderman had already slammed the door open, being followed by Doombringer and Dusekkar.

“Hey kiddo! Long time no see, huh?” The giddy construction worker skipped into the room as if it was his own and ruffled 1x1x1x1’s hair.

“Hi Mr. Builderman. Telamon isn’t here.” Builderman frowned at the kid's shaky, almost silent voice as he got up from his slightly crouched down position. 1x1x1x1 looked at the other admins who seemed to be hiding something behind their backs, his head tilting a bit.

“Who cares if Tela’s here or not, I'm not here to see him. I’m here to see you bud.”

“...Me?”

“Yeah you! You’re the birthday boy aren't you? Me, Doom and Dusek have prepared something small for ya, it’s not much but we still hope you’ll like it.” The two admins finally revealed what had been behind them, presenting 1x1x1x1 with a small chocolate cupcake with sprinkles and a single candle on it and a present with bright red wrapping paper and a green bow. He froze, staying silent for some moments. Builderman’s smile faltered slightly and looked back at the others who were also confused at 1x1x1x1’s reaction.

“Hey kid, is… everything alright? Do you not like chocolate or something? We can get something else at the HQ cafeteria and - oh shit”

1x1x1x1 promptly burst into tears, ugly sobbing while very panicked adults swarmed to his side. Dusekkar gave the boy a comforting pat on the shoulder and received a very tight hug in return, the embrace cracking his back as the child fell from his chair, tears still streaming from his face.

“Is everything alright child? You are acting extremely wild.” Dusekkar was given the mercy of being able to breath, 1x1x1x1 loosening his crushing hold around the mages body.

“No, no. Everything is perfect. Thank you, thank you all of you” All the admins released a collective sigh of relief and handed the gift to the sniffling child. With shaking hands, 1x1x1x1 opened it only to start crying again when he saw a small plushie. It was of a small grey cat, the eyes being mismatched buttons and the fur fraying a little. Any other child might have cringed a bit at the cat’s weird appearance, but 1x1x1x1 was no ordinary child. He held onto the plush as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

The next couple of minutes was spent with 1x1x1x1 blowing out the single candle and enjoying the cupcake with the other adults. Telamon had never given him anything physical for his birthday before, not even a hug, so this was a very emotional experience for the child.

“...What is going on here Builderman?” As if on cue, Telamon’s voice cut through 1x1x1x1’s happiness. Builderman walked over to where the god was and started a conversation, allowing the child to enjoy the rest of his cupcake. Doombringer had brought in a polaroid camera and snapped a photo of the event, handing the photograph over to Telamon. After some hours, Telamon brought him back to The Heights, confiscating the small cat.

1x1x1x1 never saw it again.

•••

1x1x1x1 hadn’t realized that he was crying until he felt small, cold droplets fall on his hands. Even the baby seemed to be concerned, loud whines coming from the small thing. He lifted his head and stared at the window instead, closing the book and placing it next to Shedletsky. He turned his attention back towards the box and dug around the papers, fingers brushing something soft as he immediately grabbed onto it.

In his hand lay a grey little cat, one of its button eyes was missing and stuffing was spilling out of many rips, and yet the sight of the ragged animal was enough to pull another fresh batch of tears from 1x1x1x1’s eyes. After some minutes of staring at it, he pocketed the kitten and grabbed the child and the book, practically bolting out the room.

He missed that day. He missed not being stared at in anger and disgust by the other admins. He missed those small moments in which he was allowed to talk to Builderman. The man used to be so kind towards him and now it seemed like he would like nothing more than to see 1x1x1x1 dead.

He wished he could go back and experience that day again. Just once more.

Chapter Text

It had been a couple of days after he found that photo album. Since then, he had gone through the entire book, crying again at some of the photos and frowning at others. He didn’t know why Telamon had decided to make the little booklet, it didn’t seem like something he would do. The man barely cared about 1x1x1x1 as a person so why would he want to save some photographs? Maybe the deity wanted to give him the album when he was older?

He scoffed at the thought. The booklet was probably made by Builderman or Doombringer, it seemed more likely. Anyways, after finishing the album, 1x1x1x1 had thought for a while. Would it be nice to make something like this for Shedletsky? It would be cool to save some memories as it grew up. The only problem is that 1x1x1x1 didn’t have a polaroid, but he did have a video camera. If anything, it was better since it could save videos instead of just photos.

After some searching, he eventually found the camera hidden in the bottom cabinet drawer next to his bed. The thing was pretty dusty, but a quick check showed that it was still working. He hadn’t filmed anything yet, 1x1x1x1 buying the camera a couple months back because it looked cool, but he had read the instruction manual and knew how to operate it. The baby was busy chewing on its toy chicken while laying on 1x1x1x1’s bed, slobbering all over the plushie and the mattress. At this point 1x1x1x1 was desensitized to gross stuff like that. After some fumbling around, he turned on the camera and pointed it towards the infant.

“Say hi to the camera Shed.” The baby did not say hi and instead let out a very loud squeal of excitement before going back to biting the chicken. He was gonna have to wash that thing sooner or later. 1x1x1x1 zoomed in on the kid’s face and placed a hand on its head. The moment he did so the baby grabbed onto his hand, moving on from biting the toy to biting 1x1x1x1. He tried to pull his hand back, but the grip was too strong.

“He likes to bite a lot. I’m pretty sure that happens when a baby is teething but he’s too young for that. Looks like he just likes slobbering all over things.” The child giggles for a few seconds, which gives 1x1x1x1 enough time to escape the distracted kid’s grip. Shedletsky tries to reach out for the hand again before going back to chewing the chicken stuffie. He continues filming before picking up the child and moving from his room over to the baby’s room. He then places the kid in the crib, that is still missing a proper mattress, and films the surroundings.

“Uh, this is Shedletsky’s room. It’s not really finished so it’s pretty bland right now. Here's the crib, the paint is a little chipped but I'm gonna fix that pretty soon. Theres… uh… that’s it really. He does have some toys in his crib though.” 1x1x1x1 got closer to the crib, showing off the different plushies and blocks he got for the kid. He was feeling pretty awkward at the fact that the room was so empty and turned off the camera.

He stared around at the sad scene in front of him. Besides the crib, there was really absolutely nothing in the entire room except a sad little wardrobe in the corner and a frail wooden chair. Everything else was so plain that it better suited a medical office than a place for a baby to live. He sat down on the chair, placing the camera on the floor next to him, and took out his phone. He was using the device a lot more nowadays, usually to order shit like food or diapers.

He searched up ‘baby room’ to see what comes up, only to get punched in the face by an explosion of colours. Every image showed the opposite of what Shedletsky’s room was right now, a place filled with different hues and with cute little details everywhere. Something that looked like a child’s version of a chandelier caught 1x1x1x1’s eye, instead of shiny crystals hanging from the ceiling it was soft toys instead. After a quick google search he found out that it was something called a baby mobile. He opened his notes app and promptly wrote that name down.

The next couple of minutes was spent with 1x1x1x1 scouring the web for different baby items. He found a foam carpet which could be assembled like puzzle pieces, adding to his notes as well. A cute soft lamp in the shape of a cloud, a rainbow rocking chair for infants, some small bean bags, all things that 1x1x1x1 wrote down. After a considerable amount of time, he decided that it was enough and started to buy all those things. The app informed him that the order would arrive in around thirty minutes, so in the meantime he went into the kitchen to prepare another bottle.

•••

“Oi, oi! Oi!” As the minion disintegrates into the ground, 1x1x1x1 starts to open up the boxes of baby products. He decides to start with the carpet first since it seems like the easiest to set up and because some of the other things will have to go on top of it. The baby peeks out from between the bars of the crib, staring at 1x1x1x1 as he gets on the floor and puts the carpet together, the kid cooing at the different arrangement of colours.

After a while, the admin stares at what the previously plain baby room had now become, a baby paradise. Experimentally, he carries the child from its crib and places it onto the now cushioned floor. The baby squirms around a bit before squealing in approval, 1x1x1x1 letting out a small sigh of relief. He walks over to where the discarded video camera was and picks it up again, turning it on.

“It's, uh, been a couple hours since the previous video and, um, this is what the room looks like now.” He waves the camera around to show off the newly decorated room before focusing the camera onto the baby flapping its arms widely.

“You like it? You like your new room buddy?” Giggles and yelps of happiness echoed through the empty halls of the temple, 1x1x1x1’s own laughs joining in on the noise pollution.

And in his room lay a now forgotten photo album, the man being too busy recording new happy memories to remember the bleak ones from the past. The book was opened on a random page, a photograph being displayed of a serious looking Telamon and a sad child.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 stared at the load of work on his laptop. Since Shedletsky was born, he had completely forgotten about his admin duties and responsibilities until this morning. He was peacefully eating breakfast and drinking coffee when he suddenly remembered, eyes widening as he rushed to finish his meal and sprinted into his room. As soon as he opened his laptop, he was bombarded by the amount of emails and documents he had to finish. He really has to do all this before Builderman notices and confronts him. The man was especially cruel towards him when it came to mistakes.

1x1x1x1 threw his head back and groaned, leaving momentarily just to bring the baby into his room and place it on his bed. He knew that if he left it alone in its crib it would probably be okay, but he wasn’t taking any chances. The only times in which he left the kid alone was when he absolutely had to. And so he sat back down on his creaking chair, mentally hyping himself up in order to give himself the motivation to finish all the work.

Okay, first task, review a grainy security camera footage of a hacking incident that happened a couple of days ago and complete a summary of what happened, including the different types of hacks used and anything that could be used to identify the subject. Alright, that seems easy enough. 1x1x1x1 clicked on the video provided, squinting at the very bad camera footage. Seriously, he could barely see what was happening! How did Builderman expect him to know what was going on when it just looked like random shapes and colours on the screen.

The footage seemed to be from Builder Brothers Pizzaria, the place where 007n7 used to infamously torment. He hasn’t done that for a very long time, so it looks like he’s changed for his kid. Good for him. Anyways, he could see the faint silhouette of who he thinks is Elliot Builder working the cashier box when suddenly the walls of the pizzeria started to fall apart. A blurry green and black figure floated down from the sky through the now destroyed roof, making a bunch of hand movements as if he or she were giving a speech.

The speech went on for nine whole minutes, many of the customers and Elliot himself had already stopped panicking by the time the hacker was done. A person who 1x1x1x1 thinks is Doombringer but he's not entirely sure, crashes into the restaurant while swinging his large, iconic hammer. The moment the figure laid their eyes on the admin they started to run, or in this case fly, away. Doombringer ran after them, leaving the pizzeria in complete disarray.

Alright, so the types of hacks used were obviously an unanchoring and flying hack, simple stuff. The figure seemed to have long, black hair and green skin, so it should be easy to find them. Not many robloxians possess green skin, most of which are some sort of plant or animal hybrid. The hacker also looked to be around five foot eight and had a-

A piercing wail sliced through his train of thought like a knife, 1x1x1x1 twirling around in his chair to find a sobbing baby. He got up and went to pick up the crying infant, laying its small head on his shoulder. Maybe the kid was hungry? But it just ate like ten minutes ago, there was no way. Before he could think of any other reason for the child's tears, the cries suddenly stopped. He looked down at the baby’s red wet face with confusion and set it down on the bed again.

Okay, continuing with the work, the figure looked to have an extra arm. Whether it was artificially created through hacks or if they were born with it, 1x1x1x1 didn’t know. However it also gave the admins a big clue on who the guy might be. What else… oh! They also had some pink and yellow things in their hair. If 1x1x1x1 had to guess what they were, he would probably go with flowers, meaning that the plant hybrid theory might be correct. Just how the burger hat was used to identify 007n7, these flowers also could-

More screams interrupted 1x1x1x1’s thinking, the man looking back at the source of the noise. Sure enough, the baby was crying again and so he went to pick it up. After some bouncing, the child stopped wailing and opted to giggle instead. Furrowing his eyebrows, 1x1x1x1 laid the kid on the bed again, going back to his work.

He started to type out a document stating all of the information he got so far, also advising Builderman to perhaps interview some of the people actually in the restaurant at the time of the event to get a better description of the culprit. Elliot seems to have dealt with this sort of thing a lot in the past, the pizzeria for some reason being a huge target to random college students who want to cause some trouble, so maybe he could be of more help than the average robloxian since he has more experience. Also, sending in Doombringer out of all of the other admins was not a very good idea since he relies on more brute strength than anything else, which does not go well with a flying hacker. Sending in Dusekkar or even Tarabyte would have been the better option since they both also have flying abilities and-

1x1x1x1 was starting to get used to being cut off by wailing. Something must be seriously wrong for Shedletsky to start crying so often. The thought suddenly put him on edge, the admin picking up the baby once more and checking its little body for any signs of injuries or rashes. By the time he finished his inspection, the dramatic child had already stopped crying. This led to 1x1x1x1 trying something out. He dropped the child on the bed again for a couple of moments. Just as expected, the kid started to sob again. As soon as he picked it up, it stopped, stretching out its little hands and grabbing onto his shirt.

…Did it want attention? Is this why it was constantly screaming whenever 1x1x1x1 started to type again? He chuckled at the realization, coming up with the simple solution of having the baby on his lap while he worked. The only problem is that he read somewhere that kids shouldn’t be exposed to screens until they were eighteen months old since the light could damage their eyesight. In order to prevent this, 1x1x1x1 left the room and returned with some sunglasses. Sunglasses that looked comically large on the infant.

The sight made him laugh a bit before placing the baby on his lap and going to work again. He did not get interrupted for the rest of the day.

Chapter Text

The work took longer than 1x1x1x1 expected. So after three straight days of continuous stress, he almost let out a scream of relief when he finally completed the last report. The baby, who probably had no idea what was going on, also squealed loudly, as if celebrating the fact that 1x1x1x1 would no longer have to divide his attention. The man stood up from his chair and stretched one arm at a time, holding Shedletsky with whichever arm was free.

Frankly, all he wanted to do now was go to the now completed lounge and relax. He was so lucky to have minions who listen to his every order, the zombies already having rebuilt and turned all those extra rooms into what 1x1x1x1 wanted. He carried the restless baby through the corridors, almost dropping it at some point because it kept flailing all its limbs around. 1x1x1x1 briefly wonders if it got his endless energy from Telamon before shaking the god out of his head.

The lounge was a cosy little place, the room being composed mostly of light green and white colours. There was a white desk with a clear view of The Heights from a close by window, an array of different potted plants cluttering the edges of the surface. Two light green wingback chairs stood next to each other with a small round table in the middle, the table being adorned with some coasters and a book. There was a fuzzy white carpet on the floor in the shape of a circle. On the other side of the room, there was a large bookshelf, however instead of having books it just had more plants and some vinyls.

Lastly, in the very corner of the room there was a table, an antique gramophone standing proudly on top of it. 1x1x1x1 was happy with how the room turned out, the place truly seemed like paradise. He laid Shedletsky on one of the two chairs and went over to the bookshelf to pick out a vinyl. After some thoughtful thinking, he went with a random Queen album and took out the giant disc, carefully placing it on the gramophone and adjusting the needle. By the time he reached his chair the first song had already started playing, the admin reaching towards the small table to pick up the book. He didn’t remember the last time he had read a book so he was looking forward to which one his minions had separated for him.

The book turned out to be ‘Moby Dick’ by American writer Herman Melville. He wasn’t sure who Moby was or why he was such a dick, but he opened the book anyway. His attention was never one hundred percent on the book since he also had to make sure the baby didn’t roll forward and fall on the floor head first, but the kid seemed to have calmed down a bit.

He had just finished chapter two when Shedletsky started to move, however instead of the wild thrashing it usually does, it was swaying its body side to side. 1x1x1x1 squinted his eyes at the suspicious behaviour and continued to read, only to get interrupted with happy giggling. The man had given up on reading the book, which was a shame since it seemed pretty interesting, closing it and setting it down on the table before diverting his full attention onto the child.

It was making strange little cooing noises that sounded much more calculated than the average squealing it normally does. There was a huge toothless smile on its face, more hysteric laughs coming from the kids mouth. It took 1x1x1x1 an embarrassing amount of time to realize that it was responding to the music. The vocalizations coming from the baby kinda matched the tune of the song that was playing at that moment.

“You got good taste kid, I like this song too.” Killer Queen was truly a great song about a high-class call girl who was both charming and seductive, a dangerous combination. Despite the slightly dark tone of the song, Shedletsky seemed to be greatly enjoying it, waving its little arms around to the beat of the song. 1x1x1x1 didn’t even know that babies could enjoy music, he just assumed that their small brains were not developed enough to do so. It made him wonder what other songs the child might like.

And thus he began a little experiment. He replaced the Queen vinyl with a Blondie one, placing the needle on a random part of the disc. The song that played was One Way Or Another, a great song about someone being stalked from the perspective of the stalker themselves. The baby stopped its cheerful babbling for a while, freezing up in response to the new genre of music, and started screeching again.

1x1x1x1 kept placing different vinyls to see the kids' different reactions. At some point, he made the terrible mistake of playing a death metal album which earned him forty minutes of trying to comfort a spooked sobbing child, but other than that the reactions were mostly positive. He deduced that Shedletsky prefers more calming or upbeat songs as opposed to more melancholy or loud music, which was understandable.

By the end of the day, he had already gone through his entire collection of vinyls, he and the child both completely exhausted. The only noises the kid made were tired little babbles, reaching out its clenched fists towards 1x1x1x1 who promptly picked the child up. He imagined that all the baby wanted to do now was go to sleep, and so he made his way over to the kitchen to prepare a bottle of warm water and honey. He wasn’t going to let the kid go to sleep hungry, no matter how tired it looked.

As he waited for the water to heat up, he thought of what he might do tomorrow. He could take the child out to the garden again, it seemed to really like that the last time he did that. Or maybe he could teach it how to play with the building blocks. 1x1x1x1 was sure that no matter what he picked, tomorrow would be a very good day as well. Absolutely nothing could ruin the nice little routine he had going on.

Chapter Text

He was so fucked.

He was so, completely, absolutely fucked.

Twice a year, Builderman hosts a mandatory meeting for all of the admins where they go over new strategies to catch hackers and think of improvements for Robloxia. Sadly, Builderman couldn't exclude 1x1x1x1 from these meetings so the CEO was forced to let him attend. In the past, 1x1x1x1 saw this as a great thing, a way to be both petty and prove that he was useful to the admins, but after a couple of years he saw that no matter how good his ideas were, his coworkers would either just ignore or dismiss him.

And now, 1x1x1x1 was glaring at a laptop screen as if it owed him money, staring at the email open. It was obvious that it was written in a rush with almost no care put behind it, but what else was new. After realizing that no one would listen to him, he used to just see these meetings as a waste of time. Right now, he saw it as the actual apocalypse.

Leaving Shedletsky alone for a twenty minute grocery run was one thing, but leaving the baby alone for practically the entire day was a whole other one. He couldn’t secretly bring the kid to work with him or else he would risk getting caught by the other admins. Hiring a babysitter was also out of the question. The robloxian would most likely be too scared to take the job and then report him to HQ. And he definitely couldn’t just skip the meeting. Not only would it give his coworkers more reason to hate him, they would also probably go to his house to yell at him, which also risks them finding out about the kid.

He was silently panicking, sweat clinging to the back of his neck as he stressfully paced around the room in an attempt to calm himself down. What the hell was he going to do? The child on his bed was completely unaware of the mental hurt 1x1x1x1 was going through right now, occasionally letting out little giggles and gargles. At some point, it started chewing on its own foot. The man finally stopped walking around and settled for sitting down on the bed with his head between his hands. He was going to have to use his last resort. He already had this idea in the past, but dismissed it because it was risky. But now? Now he had no other choice.

With a defeated sigh, he summoned two of his minions. The two zombies crawled from the ground, creating cracks and breaks on his porcelain floor before it reconstructed itself once the minions had left. At first, they looked around curiously, straightening up once their non-existent eyes landed on 1x1x1x1. The tired man pointed at the baby, the two creatures' heads following. It was kind of funny to see them jump in surprise at the sight of the small child on his bed, both of them running up to the kid.

“Okay, listen up. This is extremely important so I want your full attention on me right now.” 1x1x1x1 yelled out, the two lackeys looking up at him.

“Every two and a half hours, I want one of you to go to the kitchen and warm up a bottle of water and honey. Do NOT use formulas. I’ve been meaning to get rid of them, but the baby doesn’t drink it. Keep an eye on the kid at all times, if one of you leave to do something the other has to stay with it. Sometimes it will start to cry for seemingly no reason, just know that it most likely wants attention, so play with it. At six in the afternoon, go to the bathroom and bathe it in the sink. Make sure the water isn’t too hot or too cold, but the baby will probably just cry if it is. Make sure it goes to bed at around eight. Stay with it until it falls asleep. You all understand?” The minions nodded.

“Very well then, I am being forced to trust you guys right now, so do not disappoint me.” 1x1x1x1 went over to the kid and ruffled what little hair it had in an attempt to say goodbye and left the room. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t nervous, his lackeys weren't the best at improvising, something that was needed when taking care of a living thing. He just hoped that the baby would still be alive when he got home.

•••

It had been some time since he's last been inside of Roblox HQ. Walking through the corridors, he could see small changes to the decoration, it made the place look nicer. He could even pretend that he was comfortable here if he ignored the trembling workers and the venomous glares of some admins he ran into in the halls. After some walking around, he finally found the meeting room that was located at the very top of the HQ.

Looking through the giant glass doors, he noticed that he was indeed very early. The only other people he saw was a random janitor sweeping the floors and Dusekkar, the pumpkin headed mage having a reputation of arriving before anyone else, no matter how quickly you get there. Opening the doors, he figured the polite thing to do was say hello, which is exactly what he did. At hearing his voice, the other admin turned towards him with a scowl, only for the unwelcoming expression to suddenly morph into one of slight confusion and maybe even concern.

“I'll… try to say this politely, but you look most unsightly. Your appearance is extremely bizarre, were you perhaps hit by a car?” 1x1x1x1 furrowed his eyebrows at the weird question before turning around and to stare at his reflection on the glass. Indeed, he looked terrible. His hair was an uncombed mess, tufts of white sticking out at random places. His clothes were all wrinkled since he was too busy taking care of the baby to iron any of them. There were bags under his eyes from staying awake late at night, trying his best to get Shedletsky to go to sleep. Sheepishly, he turned back around.

“No, I wasn’t. Thanks for asking though.” Dusekkar stared at him for a couple more seconds before scoffing and going back to doing whatever he was doing before 1x1x1x1 entered the room. The green man also took a seat, choosing one that was the farthest from Builderman's reserved chair. In almost no time, the room was filled with admins. Doombringer had arrived a couple of minutes after 1x1x1x1, the burly man staring daggers at him before Dusekkar called him over.

Lastly, Builderman himself arrived, walking through the glass doors with a big smile and a coffee in hand. The CEO’s smile dropped slightly at the sight of 1x1x1x1 before looking away and composing himself, walking over to the end of the conference table, sitting down and stretching his arms.

“Alright team! Are you guys ready to make Robloxia better for all?” A couple of cheers erupted from the crowd as Builderman's smile grew.

It was going to be a long day.

Chapter Text

So far, the meeting was nothing short of boring. Builderman had presented some slides about the problems that were happening around Robloxia, sometimes stopping in order to listen to some potential solutions. Of course, anytime 1x1x1x1 had tried to give his input on the matter he was ignored or given a poisonous glare, so he had already given up on speaking for the entire rest of the meeting. Sadly, that means he was stuck there without anything to do for the whole entire day.

“...And so I have temporarily set up an anti-hack system in Builder Brothers Pizzaria, so hopefully it works.” Builderman enthusiastically presented his work to the table of other admins. It was about time anyone had done something about the hacker problem at that restaurant. Ever since Telamon died, progress has moved slower than ever, causing more hackers to rise and create chaos around different servers.

“Would you look at the time! It’s already one folks, so go treat yourself to some free lunch at the HQ cafeteria. I’ll see you all in…” Builderman checks his watch. “...around forty minutes!”

Happy chatter soon filled the room and halls as the admins filtered out through the door, talking cheerfully amongst themselves about god knows what. 1x1x1x1 waited for the majority of the people to leave so that he could stand up and make his way towards the cafeteria. He hated large crowds of people and people usually hated him, so it worked for both parties. He decided to take the elevator since he didn’t feel like taking the many flights of stairs to the third floor where the cafe was located.

By the time he got there, most of the admins seemed to have already picked up their lunches and were now sitting around the tables. 1x1x1x1 looked at the menu for today. The options were a ham and cheese sandwich, a chicken wrap, a pepperoni pizza and a caesar salad, the only drinks available being water and fruit juice. After some seconds of thinking, he decided to go for the chicken wrap with apple juice. He walked up to the cashier working at the register for today and was about to speak when he was interrupted by the worker.

“Name?”

“...Seriously? I haven't even ordered yet. Why do you need my name?”

“To make sure you are actually an admin and not just a worker trying to get free food. So, name?”

“1x1x1x1. I should be there.” The cashier took out a piece of paper and started scanning whatever was written on it before looking up at him with a dismissive stare.

“Sorry, you ain’t here. Gotta pay like the rest of us.”

1x1x1x1 sighed before turning around and leaving, finding a random seat on an empty table in the corner of the room. He didn’t bring any money, so it looked like he just had to go the day without food. Whatever, he would just eat at home. Taking out his phone, he decided to check out some random videos on the internet to distract himself from the hunger and the judgmental stares he got sometimes. He hadn’t even realized that someone was right in front of him until they slammed a sandwich on the table, causing 1x1x1x1 to jump in surprise and look up at the figure.

“Dusekkar? What are you-”

“Be quiet. I’m just not comfortable with your forced starvation diet. This isn’t forgiveness. It’s for… reasons that are none of your business.” And as quickly as he came, Dusekkar left, returning to his table to continue his own lunch with Doombringer who shot him a venomous glance before talking to Dusekkar. 1x1x1x1 stared down at the sandwich in front of him. It was a nice thing for the admin to do for him, a small smile forming on his face before taking a bite.

•••

Lunch was done in almost no time, 1x1x1x1 having to go back to the meeting room alongside all the other admins. Unfortunately, it was still just as boring as it was before the small break, 1x1x1x1 genuinely losing his mind. All Builderman talked about was just more hacker situations, some common glitches in different servers and what they could do to improve the experiences. 1x1x1x1 had tried to speak one more time, but not only was his suggestion not listened to, Builderman also yelled at him to not cause interruptions, so he stayed quiet the rest of the time.

Finally, the clock hit eight, meaning that it was time to go. Builderman provided a quick summary of the presentation as if they were all not there the entire time and dismissed the admins. 1x1x1x1 waited for the room to get less crowded before leaving again and was about to do so until Builderman himself came up to him. The man usually just ignored him, so 1x1x1x1 was caught off guard.

“So, 1x1x1x1. I noticed that you kinda didn’t do your work for a while before fixing that a couple of days ago. You weren’t ignoring your fucking responsibilities, were you?” The CEO’s signature smile was nowhere to be found, replaced with a disgusted scowl, as if the simple act of talking to 1x1x1x1 caused him great distress.

“I, uh, got caught up on some stuff. It won’t happen again sir.” The man slightly squinted at him before responding.

“It better not. Don’t be more of a goddamn bother than you normally are.” Ouch. Before he could say anything else, the man had already moved onto talking to the other admins, a smile plastered on his face once more. 1x1x1x1 got up and walked over the same elevators as last time. At least the next meeting was a whole six months into the future, a very long time. As he was about to leave the HQ however, Dusekkar ran up to him.

1x1x1x1 stopped with his hand on the door handle, head tilting a bit. The mage opened his mouth and hesitated for a while, staying completely silent before deciding against saying whatever he was going to say, waving goodbye and running off again, or in his case floating. The confused admin stayed in silence for a couple more seconds before opening the door and leaving the building.

He couldn’t wait to get back home to his baby.

Chapter Text

The two minions listened closely to what 1x1x1x1 had to say. Honestly, they were a little surprised to find their boss with a baby of all things. The man used to be so violent and cruel, he didn’t seem like the type to raise something so fragile. Nevertheless, they made a mental note of all the instructions and watched as 1x1x1x1 left the temple. Honestly, they were kind of scared, what if they messed up somehow and injured the kid? Well, the least they could do was try their best and follow the rules left for them.

They turned their attention back towards the little baby, the kid flailing its tiny little arms around. Lackey number two picked up the squirming thing, adjusting its grip multiple times until it was sure that the child was comfortable. Looking down at the bundle of feathers in its arms, it realized that 1x1x1x1 had never told them the kid's name. Drool was already covering part of its arm, the minion slightly flinching at the cold feeling.

“Oi, oi oi. Oi oi. Oi.” Number one pointed at the clock on the wall and swiftly left towards the kitchen. They weren’t sure what was the last time the kid ate, so they wanted to prepare its food just in case. Number two rapidly skipped after number one, too nervous to be alone with the baby. By the time it got to the kitchen, number one was already grabbing onto the supplies it needed. 1x1x1x1 said a bottle of water and honey, right?

Number one filled up the bottle with tap water and squeezed in a lot of honey. The resulting mixture was a little too thick to be able to get sucked through the bottle so the minion emptied the bottle a bit in order to add more water. It was about to try to feed the baby when number two suddenly stopped it.

“Oi oi! Oi, oi oi.” It’s right, 1x1x1x1 did say to warm the water up. And so number one went over to the stove and put it on the highest heat, placing the plastic bottle on top of it. While they waited for the water honey mixture to heat up, they decided to go to the baby’s room and play with it for a while. They never did something that wasn’t related to violence or simply doing their masters chores for him, so playing seemed like a nice little difference.

Number two set the kid down onto the plush carpet as number one went over to the crib and picked up one of the many stuffed animals the kid had. The toy was a small grey possum with black limbs and little pink hands and feet, the toy feeling extremely soft to the touch. Both minions crouched down, number one holding up the stuffie in front of the kids face. It started to move the toy's limbs around and make random noises in the hopes of entertaining the child. It worked.

“Oi oi, oi oi. Oi oi.” Loud little giggles came from the infant, causing the two zombies to ease up. They were doing great! Hopefully. Since it was working, they kept doing that for around twenty minutes, occasionally going up the crib to use a different stuffed animal in order to not risk boring the kid. They only stopped because of the distinct smell of smoke assaulting their noses, and the babies too judging by the twitching of its nose.

Number one picked up the kid while number two opened the bedroom door, both creatures going to investigate the source of the black fog. The trail of smoke led them to the kitchen, where they encountered a melted slob of plastic where the baby bottle used to be and large yellow flames brightening up the area. At the sight of the fire, the youngling immediately started to loudly cry, number one trying its best to comfort it while number two turned on the sink and grabbed a large bowl, filling the bowl up with the transparent liquid before splashing it onto the stove. After two more refills, the fire had been successfully extinguished.

Number two turned off the stove, careful not to touch the melted plastic and went over to number one, smacking the lackey behind the head. The minion used its free hand to rub its poor aching head, number two grabbing onto the still sobbing baby and softly bouncing it. After a few minutes, the cries slowly died down, reduced to a couple pathetic whimpers.

“Oi oi oi! Oi! Oi oi!” Following number two’s orders, number one picked up a pot from the cabinet and filled it up with water and honey, placing that on another burner and turning it on. Both the minions decided to stay in the kitchen this time in case anything went wrong, and after a couple of minutes they filled a brand new, non-melted baby bottle with the warm mixture, giving it to the baby. The kid was obviously hungry by the way it rapidly drank the liquid, number one patting it on the head as a guilty gesture for making it wait so long.

They followed the same four steps for the rest of the day. Warm up the food, play with the kid, feed it, and play some more. They did end up giving the kid a bath, messing up a few times by making the water too cold, but they finally got it at the perfect temperature. Unfortunately, their peaceful routine was disturbed, after they dried the baby off with a towel they found in the bathroom and dressed it using one of its multiple onesies, the baby started to cry.

They tried giving it food again, but it didn't work. They tried giving it attention like 1x1x1x1 said, but it also didn’t work. The child seemed to be crying for genuinely no reason, both of them taking turns bouncing the baby to see if it would eventually stop. The infant kept looking around the room as if looking for something, sobbing even harder each time it didn’t find anything. The two lackeys were genuinely panicking until they heard fast footsteps running through the halls.

1x1x1x1 peeked in through the doorframe and hurried into the room. Upon seeing the green man, the child stretched out its tiny arms, clenching and unclenching its fists while tears streamed down its face. The admin snatched the baby away from the zombies arms and quietly spoke to the infant, its cries completely stopping. Oh, so that's why the kid was crying. It missed its dad.

After some time, 1x1x1x1 ordered the two minions to go prepare another bottle for the kid, both the lackeys quickly leaving the bedroom and going to the kitchen to obey its master's orders. Secretly, both creatures were slightly relieved that 1x1x1x1 came when he did. Taking care of a baby was hard work!

•••

“Shhh it’s okay. I'm here, I'm here.” 1x1x1x1 lowered the sniffling baby onto the crib, happy to be back home. When he heard the kids' distant cries, he admits that he may have panicked a little bit. At least he was here now. The admin sat down onto the little chair next to the crib, resting his arms on the wooden frame and staring down at the child. It was so small, the man placed one of his hands on the infant's belly, feeling it rise and fall with its breathing.

He stayed in that position for a while, a soft smile creeping onto his face. He wished he never had to do that again and leave Shedletsky behind, but he out of all people knew that wishes didn’t always come true. God he was tired. He was so tired of having to take care of the kid all alone, tired of being mistreated by his own coworkers. Maybe this was karma for killing Telamon, who knows. But when he felt the kid's tiny fist clench around his fingers, he knew that this couldn’t possibly be a punishment. He eventually heard someone arrive at the bedroom door. Must be one of the minions back with the bottle.

“Give me the bottle and you two can be dismissed, thank you for… for…” He had turned his head around when suddenly everything seemed to stop. His breath got caught in his throat as it tightened, chest hurting with the amount of emotions he was feeling all at once.

“...Dusekkar?”

Chapter Text

Dusekkar’s wouldn’t consider himself to be an angry person.

Sure, he gets upset sometimes, just like any other human being. He holds grudges, he gets mad, but everyone does that. It's just part of being a person. And so when he heard the news of Telamon's death, he reacted just how you would expect. He got angry. Very, very angry. Angry at himself for not being there, angry at the world for letting this happen and especially angry at 1x1x1x1 for swinging the blade. He admits that he and the other admins had been especially cruel to the man in the past, and yet he cannot bring himself to regret it. Nowadays, his fury has diminished into a still roaring ember, the feeling being strong yet smaller than before. Time has helped him understand 1x1x1x1’s point of view, but forgiveness is still completely out of the question. Maybe someday.

However, the other admins don’t really think the same. Their wrath still burns greatly. They aren’t as brutal as they were for the first couple of years after their good friend’s end, resorting to just ignoring 1x1x1x1 instead of verbally and sometimes physically abusing him, but Dusekkar could see the anger in their eyes whenever the green man was in the room or even simply mentioned in a conversation. Frankly, it scared him.

He had tried to get them to move on, at least just a little bit, for their own health, but they wouldn’t budge. In fact, they got mad at him for even suggesting it. And so he stayed silent. Whenever they ignored 1x1x1x1 suggestions, even if they were honestly great, Dusekkar stayed quiet. Whenever they purposefully made the man's work even more difficult then it needed to be and then punishing him when it wasn’t done up to their standards, Dusekkar pretended not to notice. Sometimes he thought of stepping in, but then he remembered how devastated Builderman, Doombringer and even himself were when they got the news of Telamon's violent passing, and ultimately decided against it.

And so when 1x1x1x1 entered the meeting room looking like he got mauled by a bear, dropped off a cliff, and ran over by five trucks all in that order, he took the opportunity of both of them being alone to ask what the fuck happened.

“I'll… try to say this politely, but you look most unsightly. Your appearance is extremely bizarre, were you perhaps hit by a car?” Dusekkar watched as 1x1x1x1 turned around and examined his own reflection on the glass doors. Did he seriously not know how badly he looked like shit? When was the last time he looked at himself in the mirror? The other admin turned back around, face flushed with embarrassment, and spoke up.

“No, I wasn’t. Thanks for asking though.” The mage still searched his face for any signs of lying before forcing his expression into a scowl and turning away. If the hacker didn’t want to tell him, so be it. Keep your damn secrets. And yet he couldn’t help but keep an eye on the man for the entire meeting, ignoring Doombringer's annoyed rambles and Builderman's slightly boring presentation. 1x1x1x1 had always taken care of his appearance, having perfectly brushed hair and a very stylish, albeit kinda edgy, choice of clothing. Why did he stop now? Before he knew it, the first half of the meeting had already ended, Builderman dismissing everyone to their lunch breaks.

The mage decided to take the stairs since there was a very long line to the elevator. He could just fly anyways, so it didn’t tire him out. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to the cafeteria food since it was always kind of greasy and stale, but what else could he do? When he got to the cafeteria register, the cashier asked for his name and promptly gave him the free food of his choice. Dusekkar ended up going for the caesar salad and a simple water. The food wasn’t as grand as the other options, but it seemed like the least oily choice.

Doombringer had already claimed a table since the bulky man took the elevator and was currently waving him over. However, as Dusekkar was floating towards where his friend was, he saw 1x1x1x1 from the corner of his eye. The man didn’t seem to have any food, the mage suddenly remembering the fact that Builderman had booted him from the free food list, having told the pumpkin as if it were just a funny prank. Dusekkar didn’t think it was funny. He thought it was cruel. He found himself at the register again, ordering a plain sandwich and walking over to where the man was sitting alone. He threw the food in front of 1x1x1x1, causing him to slightly jump from his seat.

“Dusekkar? What are you-”

“Be quiet. I’m just not comfortable with your forced starvation diet. This isn’t forgiveness. It’s for… reasons that are none of your business.” Dusekkar then proceeded to flee as fast as he could towards his own food, quietly bracing himself for whatever Doombringer was about to say. The red man had an expression of disbelief and slight anger on his face, opening his mouth as soon as the mage sat down.

“Why the fuck would you do that Dusek?”

“I think that Builderman starving the guy is especially cruel. The man shouldn’t be refused food, even if it's just gruel.”

The pumpkin had to endure Doombringer’s furious babbling for the rest of the lunch break. He couldn’t even enjoy his salad in peace and found himself silently praying for the meeting to start again just so that he could get away from the noise. After another thirty minutes, Builderman's voice finally crackled through the speakers, ordering all the admins to return to the meeting room. Dusekkar rapidly got up, ears ringing, and made his way to the stairs.

The rest of the meeting was a blur, the mage’s mind being completely elsewhere. His head hurt, his eyes ached and now his ears felt numb from Doombringers rambling. He just wanted to get this meeting over with and go home to his two cats and flop down on his bed. Thankfully, the presentation had finally ended, Builderman finally letting the admins go. Dusekkar got up and stretched his arms upwards, grabbing his staff and going to the lobby. Before leaving the building, he decided to buy some coffee to see if he can stay awake a little longer so that he could complete some work. While waiting for the barista to finish the coffee, he saw 1x1x1x1 about to leave the building.

He recalled Builderman walking up to the man after the meeting had ended, so whatever they said was probably more of a verbal attack towards 1x1x1x1 than anything else. Before he knew it, he found himself running up to the green admin, stopping a couple of feet in front of him and suddenly freezing up, unable to get a word out. What did he come here to say? Should he ask if 1x1x1x1 was alright? Or maybe ask what Builderman had said? After a couple more seconds of awkward silence, the mage decided to simply wave goodbye and stroll back towards the cafe counter, his coffee already there waiting for him. Well, that was embarrassing.

He stayed in the lobby for a few more minutes before leaving to go home, when his phone loudly rang in his pocket. Dusekkar took his device out and read the caller id, Builderman's icon staring back at him. He accepted the call and brought his device up to his ear.

“My dear friend, greetings. I thought we went through everything in those meetings. Is there something you need? Can’t it wait for the next time we meet?”

“Nope, sorry to bother you Dusek. It’s just I forgot to give 1x1x1x1 some paperwork I want him to complete by next week. I tried calling him, but I don’t have the bastard's phone number. Could you come to my office real quick and pick up the documents to bring him? I’d do it myself but I'm a little swamped right now.”

Dusekkar hummed in approval into the phone and hung up, going back into the building. He furrowed his eyebrows and groaned in slight frustration at the new task, but quickly reminded himself that he would be back home in no time.

•••

He had opened a server portal to The Heights and stepped inside, struggling with the weight of the multiple documents in his hands. Holy shit, how did Builderman expect 1x1x1x1 to get done with all of this in just one week? He was about to knock on the temple door before noticing that it was already unlocked, as if the other admin had entered the house in a hurry. Dusekkar pushed the door open with his shoulder, flying inside the temple and dropping the load of paperwork onto the nearest table. He shook his arms a bit, trying to get rid of the tingly feeling before searching the residence for 1x1x1x1. He had to tell him about the documents he had to get done before leaving.

He passed the kitchen, paying no mind to the distracted minions who seemed to be doing something on the stove, probably just cooking food for their master. The mage peeked into many of the rooms, admiring the renovations done to each of them. Looks like 1x1x1x1 had finally found some new uses for the multiple guest rooms Telamon had. The pumpkins expression slightly dropped at the thought of his former friend, looking into another room. He wasn’t there. For all he knew, 1x1x1x1 could be in the basement torturing someone or simply just sleeping in his own bedroom. After a while, he heard the man's voice in the distance.

“Shhh it’s okay. I'm here, I'm here.” That's… bizarre. Was the hacker talking to someone? Maybe he got a pet? He couldn’t imagine 1x1x1x1 taking care of something, so the reasons for that strangely soft speech that Dusekkar thought of only served to confuse him. He eventually found an open door and looked inside, his body immediately freezing with shock at what he saw.

1x1x1x1 was leaned over a crib. A fucking crib. The whole room looked like it belonged to a baby, soft colourful padding on the floor and cutesy accessories on the walls. Between the bars of the crib, Dusekkar could see something squirming around and making little giggling noises. This was the last thing the mage had expected, rendering his whole body useless and he stayed still, unable to process what he was seeing. 1x1x1x1 suddenly started to talk, seemingly assuming Dusekkar was someone else as the man turned over to face him.

“Give me the bottle and you two can be dismissed, thank you for… for…” The green man looked just as surprised as the pumpkin felt at that moment, hands slightly trembling at the sight of the mage. Dusekkar also saw something in 1x1x1x1’s eyes that he hadn't seen in the man for a long time, fear.

“...Dusekkar?”

Shit.

Chapter Text

A deathly silence fell over The Heights as the two men stared at each other, the only sounds in the entire server coming from the kitchen. None of them knew what to do, so both did nothing. Dusekkar didn’t know whether to flee or confront the man, while 1x1x1x1 was too busy thinking of a viable excuse to move. The whole world seemed to slow down around the two men, nothing else existing outside of the room they were in. The silence seemed to stretch on for hours, days even, before one of them had the courage to slightly move. That man was Dusekkar.

The mage slowly turned his gaze away from 1x1x1x1 and towards the crib, then back at the admin, then back at the crib. This action seemed to get faster every time Dusekkar did it, the other admin getting more and more nervous each time they made eye contact. Then, all of a sudden, everything exploded. The pumpkin practically tripped over his own feet as he broke into a sprint, 1x1x1x1 promptly running as fast as he could behind the mage.

“Wait! Fuck- Dusekkar stop! Come back I can explain! Shit-” Desperation bled freely through his voice as he continued to chase the robed man who had moved on from running and was now flying through the corridors. While trying to get away, he kept grabbing onto random things along his path, random vases, some small framed pictures, a metal candelabra, and chucking them at 1x1x1x1 in an attempt to slow him down, the man either tanked the hits or dodged the flying items. While ducking to avoid an airborne glass snowglobe, he noticed that Dusekkar was about to fly in front of the kitchen doors, which gave him an incredible idea.

“Minions! Tackle Dusekkar NOW!” The poor pumpkin barely had any time to react before two black and green zombies practically threw themselves at him, the mage letting out a very high pitched scream before getting overpowered. He struggled against the minions currently holding him down, all while still screeching at the top of his lungs. 1x1x1x1 momentarily stopped with his hands on his knees as he breathed heavily, practically heaving while trying to catch his breath before walking over to where Dusekkar was flailing around.

“Dusekkar, please, please just calm down. Please just- STOP!” In response to 1x1x1x1’s sudden shout, the mage froze on the floor in surprise at the sudden yell. The minions hesitantly let go of the blue admins arms, completely getting off of him when the pumpkin didn’t fight back. After getting helped up to his feet again, the mage seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was trapped in.

“1x1x1x1… What the FUCK was that?! You have a… Since when did… What the FUCK!” 1x1x1x1 didn’t really know what scared him more, the possibility that Dusekkar would alert the other admins about Shedletsky or the fact that the mage wasn’t rhyming anymore. After a few seconds of internal debate, he decided that both were terrifying. He held up both of his hands towards the pumpkin as if he were a scared animal in an attempt to calm him down. They both stayed in a less thick but still stressful silence for a few minutes, Dusekkar's frantic breathing steadily slowing down to a normal rate. Only when the mage looked visibly less shaken did 1x1x1x1 speak up again.

“Look, Dusekkar, just… just let me explain, okay?” The pumpkin stared at him before nodding, both men walking towards and sitting on a nearby couch. The green admin sighed heavily before spilling everything that happened. He spoke about the pain, the bloody ripping from his back, the baby that suddenly arrived in his life with little to no warning. 1x1x1x1 must have been talking for at least forty minutes, Dusekkar staying silent the whole way through. By the end of his rambles, the mage looked visibly disturbed. The pumpkin looked at him for a couple of minutes, trying to process everything he had heard before asking a simple question.

“How long?”

“Huh?”

“How long has it been since this all happened?”

“...A couple of weeks now. Maybe a month. I’m too busy actually learning how to take care of the kid to pay attention to how much time has passed.”

“And you didn’t think to tell us? You could’ve died 1x1x1x1! You had a baby and kept it a secret from us for that long! Why didn’t you-”

“What would you have done if I told you, huh? You might’ve thought rationally about it but what about Builderman? And Doombringer? What do you think they would do?” Dusekkar stayed quiet for a few seconds, genuinely thinking about the answer for those questions before slumping further into the couch.

"...They would have taken them away from you.” The pumpkin headed admin looked up at 1x1x1x1’s stressed out expression. His unkept appearance suddenly made a lot more sense than it did before. It must be hard to raise a newborn all alone, especially if you didn’t have any support. The ticking of a clock was the only sound in the whole temple, both men sitting completely still before Dusekkar opened his mouth again.

“Okay.”

“...Okay?”

“Okay. I won’t tell them.”

“Really? You’d do that?” 1x1x1x1’s voice was nothing short of a whisper as a wave of relief washed over him.

“Yeah. But only on one condition.”

“Anything.”

“I’m helping you take care of this kid.” The other man was a little surprised at the mages request, but he supposed it made sense.

“Sure. Some help would be appreciated.” The pumpkin stayed silent for a few seconds, as if debating whether they should say something, and pipped up.

“Can I see them? Like, properly see them?” 1x1x1x1 nodded his head, getting up from the sofa and walking over to the baby room, gesturing for Dusekkar to follow him. The minions had already returned to the kitchen, finishing up the honey water as both admins arrived at the room's entrance. The pumpkin quietly floated towards the crib, peering down at the baby and softly gasping at the big, brown eyes staring back at him. The kid looked exactly how the mage would imagine Telamon as a baby, almost every feature being a carbon copy of the now fallen god. The admin swallowed audibly before turning back towards 1x1x1x1.

“What… What's his name?”

“Shedletsky.”

“...Thats a unique name.”

“The kid seemed to like it.”

Dusekkar smiled and glanced at the kid again. Slowly, he lowered his hand towards the infant's body, slightly flinching when the baby grabbed onto one of his fingers. His vision blurred a bit before he used his free hand to wipe his eyes. Suddenly, his emotional expression formed into a confused one.

“Why does the crib have pillows instead of a mattress?”

“Shut up.”

Chapter Text

The two admins chatted amongst themselves for hours after the confrontation. Turns out that after years of barely talking to one another there was a lot of catching up to do. Dusekkar learned that 1x1x1x1 took up painting and could sketch out any view perfectly. 1x1x1x1 learned that Dusekkar knew how to cook extremely complicated and delicious dishes. Every once in a while they interacted with the baby, the mage cooing softly whenever Shedletsky did anything as little as a simple giggle. Eventually their conversation had to come to an end, 1x1x1x1 putting the baby to bed and turning off the lights, bringing Dusekkar to the kitchen.

“You hungry? I could whip up some sandwiches for us.” The pumpkin gladly took up the offer, helping the hacker with bringing ingredients and keeping him company. It had been years since 1x1x1x1 had a positive interaction with anyone that wasn’t his minions or the baby, so the entire time Dusekkar stayed by his side he had a stupid little smile on his face. It was a simple meal, grilled cheese sandwiches with butter and slices of ham, but it was one of the best goddamn dinners he's ever had. He hadn’t even realized how lonely he was until this moment.

They continued to giggle like a bunch of high school girls during the entirety of the late night snack. He didn’t know that Dusekkar out of all people was one to gossip, but who was he to complain. He learned all sorts of secrets from the HQ, the information wasn’t mean or important, just silly stuff like how Clockwork needed a nightlight to sleep and how Doombringer sings Disney songs in the shower. After a few minutes, both admins looked visibly tired, letting out yawns and getting up from their seats.

“It's getting pretty late. I think I'll just head back home now” Dusekkar was about to leave when 1x1x1x1 stopped the man in his tracks.

“Dusek, it's really dark right now. How about you just sleep here? I’ve got guest rooms.” The green man pointed down the hall, leading the mage to the extra bedroom. It was late, and the pumpkin didn’t feel like going all the way home right now, so he agreed to the other man's offer.

•••

Dusekkar honestly had a great night's sleep. The bed was extremely comfortable, the man practically melting into the mattress, and the temperature of the room was just perfect. It was a dreamless night, which was good since it meant he felt more well rested, and he had woken up to the birds chirping outside his window. The mage always did have a tendency to attract animals, Builderman teasing him on the fact by calling him a ‘Disney Princess’ more than once. He didn’t mind the jokes. He floated from his room and into the kitchen, ready to make 1x1x1x1 and himself some yummy breakfast before coming face to face with the mentioned man.

He jumped backwards at the sight of the guy. He somehow looked worse than before, eyebags sinking deeper into his face and eyes redder than usual. In his arms lay a very happy baby, 1x1x1x1 using his free arm to hold its bottle and feed the hungry child its breakfast. The minions that were there the previous night had already gone back into the ground, faint thin cracks on the floor being proof. Dusekkar stayed silent for a couple of moments staring at the other admins' disheveled state before asking the million dollar question.

“1x1x1x1, did you sleep at all last night?” At hearing the question, the other man let out a deep, exhausted sigh.

“Well, as much sleep as you can get when taking care of a baby. You probably didn’t hear since your room was pretty far away but this little twerp wouldn’t stop crying all night. I’m pretty sure I only got around three hours of sleep.” The infant giggled at the word ‘twerp’ before going back to drinking. Dusekkar frowned at the estimated amount of rest the green admin had, furrowing his eyebrows in what seemed like slight pity. The mage suddenly had a great idea.

“How about I take care of the kid for today? That way you can go back to sleep.” 1x1x1x1 eyes widened at the offer, immediately agreeing and handing the child and the bottle over to the pumpkin. He thanked the mage and was about to sprint over to his bedroom before stopping himself and turning back around to face the other man.

“If you're going to play with him, use his chicken plushie first before moving on to any other stuffy. He loves that chicken, throws a damn tantrum whenever I hand him any other toy first. He eats every two and a half hours, but he will probably remind you when he starts crying. Oh! And make sure you only feed him-”

“-Honey and water. 1x1x1x1, what do you think you ate when you were a baby? Relax, I took care of you in the past, I think I can handle taking care of Shed.” The green man stared at him in silence before nodding and fleeing back to his bed, quietly closing the door behind him. Dusekkar stared at the little bundle of feathers in his arms who was currently squirming in his grip, stretching his tiny arms towards the bottle in front of him. The mage smiles apologetically before closing the distance between the cup and the kids face.

•••

It had been a couple of hours since 1x1x1x1 went to sleep and Dusekkar started taking care of the baby. Since then, he had proceeded to play with the kid, prepare more bottles and even gave the infant a bath when he got a little too dirty. He was now sitting on the floor of the lounge, the youngling laying on the fuzzy blanket while the mage placed a disc into the gramophone. It was a collection of calming piano pieces, just his style of music. Even Shedletsky seemed to relax at hearing the melody. He walked over and laid down next to the kid, staring at the ceiling while the baby squirmed beside him. There was nothing but the sounds of piano notes and the child's little squeals before Dusekkar spoke up.

“Telamon.” No response. Unless you count the kids' babbles as an answer. The mage turned its head to the side, staring into the baby’s eyes. There was no sign of recognition, and it hurt.

“I know it's you man, I'm just not sure if you're in there anymore.” The reason for Telamon not respawning was something that puzzled Dusekkar and the other admins for years. It was only when he saw Shedletsky for the first time, saw the kids brown feathers and yellow skin, did he put two and two together. It was still a mystery what caused him to come back like… like this, but he did. And now the pumpkin had to deal with it.

“We were so confused when you didn’t come back buddy. We thought you were gone forever. But now look at you. I guess you are gone forever.” The baby’s giggles had faded, as if sensing the distress that Dusekkar was going through right now. He felt a wet liquid drip down from his face, droplets of water disappearing into the furry carpet below him. And yet, he found himself smiling at the innocent being in front of him.

“I guess you aren’t really Telamon anymore huh. You’re Shedletsky now. I’m just gonna have to get used to it.” He got up from the carpet, picking up the child and bouncing him. The kid quickly dissolved into giggles once more, Dusekkar smiling even harder despite the tears falling from his face. He brought the baby closer to him until their foreheads were touching, tiny fists grabbing onto the sides of his face.

•••

By the time 1x1x1x1 finally left his room, it had been twelve hours. He genuinely felt like he was reborn, feeling completely rested for the first time since Shedletsky’s birth. Leaving the room, he looked around the house for any sign of Dusekkar and his kid, eventually finding them in the living room. The baby was sitting on the couch, squealing in excitement as the mage shook around a chicken plushie in front of him. The pumpkin eventually noticed the other man and nodded towards him, picking up the child and walking up to the entrance of the hall where 1x1x1x1 stood.

“So, how did you sleep?”

“Like a fucking baby. Seriously, I don’t think I ever slept that good in my entire life! How was Shedletsky? He didn’t cause too much trouble right?” Dusekkar smiled.

“Nope, no trouble at all.”

Chapter Text

Shedletsky was getting bored. 1x1x1x1 noticed that they seemed to react less enthusiastically towards his usual toys, the kid giggling less and less every time the admin tried to play with him. Dusekkar had already left despite 1x1x1x1’s protests, something about missing his cats and having to take care of some paperwork. Speaking of paperwork, Builderman had assigned him a fucking mountain of it. How was he expected to finish all that and still have time for Shedletsky? Whatever, he’ll just do half of it and deal with the consequences later. He was currently busying himself with his thoughts while walking down the corridors of the temple, the baby nestled between his arms. Walking helped him calm down.

He suddenly stopped in front of a window with the intention to admire the view, eyes landing instead on the garden in front of the entrance. Truthfully, it looked terrible. Plants were clearly overgrown, leaves turning crispy and brown from dehydration, flowers losing their colour as they were on the brink of death and trees stabbing each other with their branches, as if fighting to survive. He remembered the last time he had gone there, it was one or two days after he had gotten the kid. They seemed so happy, reaching out their grubby little hands towards any colorful thing they saw, but 1x1x1x1 didn’t want to bring them out there again in risk of them getting hurt in the blur of nature.

The admin decided that he would have to clean up the garden today, for the baby’s sake. He stumbled on some of the stairs before finally reaching the outside. The moment the kid saw the lawn, his eyes seemed to brighten up as he let out a high pitched squeal of enthusiasm. 1x1x1x1 nearly dropped him with how much the infant was leaning forwards, trying to get closer to the mess of green.

As the admin got closer and closer, he realized just how beautiful the garden really was. He barely ever went there and the last time he did he was too preoccupied thinking about how he was going to raise a kid to notice the surroundings. Even in its unkept, untrimmed chaos, the lawn was still marvelous. Just from the entrance alone he could already see some bright red spiderlilies, chrysanthemums, hyacinths and grand hemlock trees, all arranged in a wonderful display of colour. Circling some flowers, he could see a flutter of monarch butterflies accompanied by one or two black witch moths, creating a contrast of light and darkness.

In one of the trees, he could see a golden falcon perched onto a long stretched out branch next to a smaller crow, the tension between the two birds extremely thick since they are natural enemies. After some staring, the falcon eventually departed into the distance and disappeared into the horizon, leaving the crow all by itself. Swiftly, a young tiny robin took the brown bird's place next to the crow, both momentarily glancing at each other before looking back into the sky.

1x1x1x1 was so distracted by the avians that he didn’t even notice that Shedletsky grabbed onto a nearby chrysanthemum and shoved it into his mouth, which caused the man to rightfully panic. After a couple of minutes of frantically removing the flower and making sure no petals or parts of the plant were still in his mouth, he sighed out of relief and slight exhaustion. He wasn’t sure if chrysanthemums were poisonous, but he wasn’t taking any chances!

He took a couple of steps into the garden, really taking in just how bad the situation was. He definitely couldn’t do all this alone. Plus, he didn’t know the first thing about plant care. What if he accidentally cuts off its lungs? Do plants even have lungs? He didn’t know. He was already planning on calling some minions to help him, but they mostly rely on orders to function. Since he himself didn’t know what to do, he wouldn’t know how to command the zombies, rendering them useless too. There was only one person in which he could think of that would know what plant care…

•••

“Heyyyyyyy Dusekkar!”

Dusekkar was picking up some work at HQ when his phone started ringing, the pumpkin picking it up without bothering to check the caller ID first. As soon as he registered 1x1x1x1’s voice, the mage quickly whipped his head around to check if anyone was hearing and quickly stepped into a random janitor closet.

“1x1x1x1, is there something wrong? My departure was only a couple of hours ago, it hasn’t been long.”

“Nah, nothing's wrong. It’s just that I'm trying to clean up the garden in front of the temple but I don’t know anything about plants and nature. I remember you talked about having a small garden of your own, so I thought that maybe you could help?” His voice went up an octave at the end. Dusekkar sighed.

“Can’t you use the internet? You could learn everything you need there I bet.” There was silence on the other line before 1x1x1x1 sheepishly spoke up.

“Holy shit I forgot about that.” The mage hummed.

“I’m glad I can be of assistance. Call me if you need any more help, do not be nervous regarding our recent coexistence.”

“...Dusek.”

“Hm?”

“You don’t need to rhyme all the time with me.”

“Oh thank god.”

•••

Google was an amazing place. With the help of wikipedia and some other articles, 1x1x1x1 was able to correctly order his minions around and finally get some work done. Sometimes one of the lackeys would place a flower on Shedletsky’s head, his hair being completely overshadowed by different species of blossoms after some minutes, and he loved it. The green admin was also helping around the lawn while wielding a giant pair of clippers as his choice of weapon, cutting tree branches and snipping at some bushes. Every once and a while a bug would jump at his face, forcing out an embarrassingly girlish scream from the man before stabilizing himself, eradicating the insect using a summoned Daemonshank.

By the time the sun had set, the garden still wasn’t finished. Luckily, the minions didn’t need to sleep like 1x1x1x1 and Shedletsky did, so they could keep working all night. The hacker picked up the child who was now completely surrounded by flowers, looking like that one girl from the ‘Midsommar’, and glancing around at the lawn. It already looked much better than when they started, the overgrown roots and plants no longer blocking the true beauty of the place.

He looked down at the kid currently yawning in his arms and took his leave towards the temple, being unknowingly watched by a crow and a robin who have now been joined by a great grey owl.

Chapter Text

It had started out small.

Sometimes the baby would just randomly start crying for around twenty to thirty minutes at a time. Nothing would console the child, 1x1x1x1 had tried. Playing and giving attention to the kid didn’t work, neither did trying to give him more food. After raising a baby for some time, you learn to differentiate between different types of cries, and yet the admin could not recognize these ones. And then, as quickly as it started, the sobs would die down, reverting the infant back to their regular, giggly self and leaving 1x1x1x1 extremely confused.

As the days went by, the crying episodes grew longer and longer. 1x1x1x1 would wake up to frantic bawling in the middle of the night, messing up his sleep schedule even more than it already is. The sobbing would continue for hours now, the kid clenching his little fists into the man's shirt whenever he picked them up. It wasn’t long before the admin finally realized what those cries meant. Pain.

Right now, he was currently sitting at the bottom of the stairs, softly bouncing a screaming baby in his arms as he tried not to keel over and faint from how tired he was. His ears were violently ringing by the constant assault of cries that he was being forced to endure, his arms wet with a mixture of spit, sweat and tears. He had checked the kid's body multiple times, searching for any signs of injuries or cuts, but he found absolutely nothing. Could Shedletsky be sick? His temperature seemed to be fine, and there were no other symptoms that could give him any clue on what was going on.

He was promptly snapped out of his thoughts by an especially loud screech. He looked down at the child's little scrunched up face, skin slightly red from all the screaming he was doing. 1x1x1x1 decided to get up from where he was sitting and walk up and down the halls to see if movement helped calm the kid down. It didn’t. If anything, the infant only cried harder.

“Come on… What's wrong with you?” 1x1x1x1 whispered under his breath, voice cracking from all the stress he was feeling right now. He had unconsciously walked into the baby’s room and placed him on the bed so that he could gather his thoughts. He felt a little guilty for ‘abandoning’ the kid in his crib, but if he had to keep on handling those screams he would eventually break. He sat down on the wooden chair and placed his hands up to his forehead, a strong headache pounding his skull. There had to be a reason for the baby’s cries, all he had to do was find it.

He wasn’t hungry, 1x1x1x1 had already tried giving them more honey water only for it to be rejected. It wasn’t boredom, toys did nothing to ease their cries. It wasn’t uncomfortable, the baby onesie was made of a very comfortable material that wouldn’t irritate the infant's skin. He was too young to be teething, so it definitely wasn’t that. The kid definitely wasn’t overstimulated since the only noise in the entire temple was his own crying. 1x1x1x1 was so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed that the sobs had suddenly stopped until his ears stopped ringing. He got up from the chair and let out a great sigh of relief, peering down at the child to make sure they’re alright. However, the moment he laid his eyes on the baby a deep sense of dread washed over his entire body.

The kid’s mouth was open as if he was still crying, and yet no sound came out. His eyes were screwed tightly shut, tears still streaming down his cheeks. His limbs seemed to have gone almost completely stiff, arms faintly twitching from time to time. The baby’s body was shiny with sweat from the extreme crying session, hair sticking to the top of his head. 1x1x1x1 was kind of confused by what was happening, leaning down to pick up the child once more. His confusion almost immediately turned into panic when he realized the baby was turning slightly blue. Fuck, was he holding his breath? 1x1x1x1 rapidly checked for chest movements and placed a hand in front of the kid's face. Surely enough, there was no sign of breathing.

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit shit shit!”

1x1x1x1 didn’t know what to do, and honestly he felt like crying himself. Shedletsky wasn’t breathing at all. Was he dying? Should he perform mouth to mouth respiration? He tried pressing gently yet frantically on the baby’s chest to see if it might stimulate him to start breathing again. It didn’t work. He tried bouncing the child to see if it calms him down enough. It didn’t work. He tried pleading with him to take a breath, even though he knew the baby couldn’t understand him. It. Didn’t. Work.

And as if things couldn’t get any worse, Shedletsky suddenly went limp in his arms, face no longer locked in a grimace but instead completely neutral, as if he had simply gone to sleep. After a couple of seconds of shocked silence, 1x1x1x1’s panic has now morphed into full blown hysteria, desperately trying to get the kid to wake up. With trembling hands, he kept lightly tapping the kid's face to see if the touch could wake him up. When that didn’t work, he started sprinting to grab his phone and call Dusekkar when he abruptly felt some squirming in between his arms.

Pausing and looking down, he met with Shedletsky’s big brown eyes staring back at him, the kid momentarily staying silent before breaking down into tears and crying again. 1x1x1x1 still had no idea what the fuck just happened, and yet he couldn’t help feeling relief at the sobs that he once begged to stop. If the kid was crying, that meant he was breathing and was still alive, and that confirmation was all 1x1x1x1 needed right now.

•••

He had now reached his phone and was searching up any answers to explain Shedletsky’s sudden passing out, the sobbing kid still in his arms. He eventually came across something called a ‘breath-holding spell’, which happens when a baby or child cries too much and instinctively holds their breath, causing them to turn blue and maybe even faint. Specifically, it seems like a type of ‘breath-holding spell’ called a pallid spell, which is triggered by either a sudden surprise or pain. 1x1x1x1 breathed out a sigh of solace when he read that it was not dangerous nor fatal.

During his quick internet search, he had also come across a condition called ‘colic’ which is when a seemingly healthy baby cries for apparently no reason for hours at a time, describing perfectly what was happening. It seemed to cause stomach pains and a huge amount of discomfort, which explains why no matter what 1x1x1x1 did, the baby kept on crying. After another google search, it told him that placing the baby in a sitting position and massaging their belly in circular motions could help relieve some pain, and so he did just that.

Placing him on his lap, he placed a hand on the kid's stomach and tried rubbing, all while stroking the child's hair with his other hand in an attempt to comfort him. Slowly, the infant’s cries died down to some quiet whimpers, his bottom lip still stuck out but obviously more calm than before. 1x1x1x1 also relaxed at the lack of screaming in his ear, smiling softly to himself. The internet told him that colic only lasted for a few months before the baby reverts to normal, so at least this was temporary. In the meantime, he should really invest in some ear plugs so that he doesn’t go deaf while taking care of his kid.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 had pretty much gotten used to a rather repetitive routine. Wake up, pick up the baby, feed the baby, play with the baby, feed the baby some more, bathe the baby, and so on. Of course there were small differences in each day, like maybe Shedletsky was feeling more fussy than usual and cried some more, or maybe Builderman assigned him even more work that he had to finish instead of doing playtime with the kid, but normally most of the stuff was the same old, same old.

Dusekkar has visited him a lot more ever since their first encounter, offering him tips that he didn’t know before. He introduced him to something called ‘tummy time’. It's when you place a baby on their stomach for some periods of time with the supervision of an adult. It helps them to build up strength in their arms, legs and neck, which is good for developing motor skills. Shedletsky was already a pretty strong baby, often spinning his arms around as if he were a helicopter rather than an infant, so 1x1x1x1 was sure that by the time the kid was grown, he would have raised the world's strongest child.

He had been doing this for a couple of weeks now, and he could really see the effects. Somehow, the infant was even more active than he was before, 1x1x1x1 having to grab him more tightly whenever he was picked up or else he might drop him due to all the squirming. He was very glad to have bought that foamy carpet now that he uses it more often for ‘tummy time’. The baby seems to enjoy it too, happily waving his hands around whenever the man places him on the mat.

Today was supposed to be a day like any other. 1x1x1x1 woke up and immediately went towards the baby room. The kid was already awake due to the sunlight coming through the window and brightening the place up, a toothless smile spreading across his face when he saw the admin. Baby in arms, he went towards the kitchen to prepare both of their breakfasts. He decided to try out this new recipe that Dusekkar had sent him, a seemingly delicious avocado toast topped with bacon and a fried egg. He personally thought that avocado tasted a lot like wet grass but nevertheless decided to try the food out.

After a lot of struggling and a couple burnt eggs, he finally finished the meal only to drop it on the floor when trying to bring it to the dinner table. After a few seconds of silence and a heavy sigh which came directly from the soul, he turned towards the stove to try again. The kid's honey water was already done by the time 1x1x1x1 finished the second dish, so he brought both of them over to the table where Shedletsky was waiting, sitting on a highchair that the mage had brought in. Apparently it used to belong to 1x1x1x1 when he was a baby.

Anyways, the pumpkin was correct in terms of the food. It was absolutely delicious. He ate it slowly, savoring the taste while the child drank their food so quickly the man thought they might choke. Luckily that didn’t happen. After a few minutes, he grabs onto the dirty dishes and brings them over to the sink, deciding to wash them later due to laziness. After brushing his teeth and changing into something that isn’t his pajamas, he chose to complete some online work that the CEO had assigned him despite the heap load of work 1x1x1x1 still had to do. It was so obvious that the man wanted to make his life hell.

And so the majority of his morning consisted of watching grainy security footage while wrangling a very active baby on his lap. Seriously, it was like Shedletsky’s life goal was to fall onto the floor and crack his skull open. Unfortunately for him, 1x1x1x1 wasn’t going to let that happen. Today’s issue was about some concerning activity coming from the past hacker iTrapped. The man had already stolen thousands of robux before, and the admins sure as hell weren't going to let him do that again. The guy didn’t seem to be doing anything wrong, unless talking to a weird dude wearing a fedora and sunglasses inside was illegal now.

After around two hours, 1x1x1x1 took a break for a while and looked down at Shedletsky. The kid was obviously frustrated, wanting attention and writhing around. Maybe he should do ‘tummy time’, that should burn the child's energy and calm him down. Adjusting his grip on the infant, he got up from his seat, relieved to stand up after so long, and walked over to the baby room. Once he got close enough to the foam carpet, he gently placed Shedletsky's stomach down. The baby immediately started to wriggle their arms and legs around, lifting up their head and looking up at 1x1x1x1.

The man sat in front of the baby after going up to the crib and picking up the kids favorite stuffie. The chicken was always covered in a little bit of slobber and was starting to really look roughed up. He might have to buy a new one soon and pray that the infant doesn’t notice. He shook the toy, earning a couple of excited squeals from the baby, and formed a small smile. It was little moments like this that always had 1x1x1x1 thinking back to. However, after a couple of seconds his grin faltered slightly when observing the kid.

Shedletsky seemed to be slightly rocking side to side, pushing up on his tiny hands and making little motions with his arms and legs as if he were swimming. There was a small expression of determination on his face, at least as determined as a baby can be. There were quiet grunts coming from the kid, which only served to confuse 1x1x1x1. Could he be uncomfortable or something? It was only when the child started to lean more to his side was when the man realized what was going on. He was trying to roll over by themselves. The hacker immediately placed his hands next to Shedletsky in case they fell over, his eyes widening anxiously.

“Come on, you can do it buddy. Come on!” The baby seemed to understand 1x1x1x1’s words of encouragement, pushing against the floor with more strength.

Eventually, with a final big push, the kid rolled over from his stomach to his back. As soon as he did so, 1x1x1x1 instantly smiled widely and he picked up the child, bouncing him which caused a few delighted giggles and squawks to escape the baby’s mouth. The man felt so much pride in that moment he thought he might throw up from the sheer wave of intense emotion spreading across his body. His kid rolled over all by themselves!

“You did it! You did it!” More squeals of happiness echoed through the halls. He absolutely needs to tell Dusekkar right now!

Chapter Text

Today was one of the rare days in which Dusekkar had a day off. He had already finished all his work, so now he was stuck doing absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. Most people would be happy to stay at home and do what they please without having to worry about unfinished documents or spreadsheets, but the pumpkin was not most people. He loved his job. He loved helping the citizens of Robloxia, he loved bringing evil-doers and hackers to justice, and he especially loved creating new experiences. And so he wasn’t particularly glad to be off duty.

At least it gave him some time to take care of his two cats. One of them was an American Shorthair named Umbra, their fur a glistening black colour and their eyes were huge and brightly yellow. Their pupils always seemed to be so blown out of proportion to the point that the admin could barely see their eye colour. The second cat was a brown and white ragdoll called Solstice. Their coat was long and elegant, never getting tangled despite the feline's energy due to some unknown reason. Unlike Umbra, their eyes were a crystal blue that reminded Dusekkar of the frozen seas of the Arctic.

Stepping out of his room, both cats zoomed over to him and started meowing loudly, demanding attention. He swiftly picked up Umbra, the animal resting soundly between his arms, while Solstice settled with climbing up the mage’s robe using her claws. Reaching the kitchen, he took out two bowls and filled them with chunks of unseasoned cooked beef with a little bit of mushed up carrots. As soon as he set the dishes on the floor, the two cats jumped off of Dusekkar and sprinted towards the bowls, eating as if they had been starved for a hundred years. They weren’t. They ate that morning.

The pumpkin was about to go back to his room again when suddenly his phone rang loudly in his pocket, momentarily startling both him and the felines before composing themselves. He already knew who was calling him even before he looked at the caller id, letting out a chuckle once he confirmed his suspicions were correct. Nowadays, 1x1x1x1 called him almost daily, telling him things ranging from baby news to just a normal conversation amongst friends. Dusekkar answered the call.

“Hello?”

“DUSEK! DUSEKKAR YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED!” The mage winced violently as he removed the phone from his ear. He could barely hear what the other man was saying due to the sheer volume of his voice assaulting his eardrums.

“1x1x1x1, I’ll gladly hear what you have to say as long as you keep your voice down!” There was an apologetic little ‘oh!’ on the other line before the green admin spoke up with a now reasonable tone of voice.

“Shit, sorry. Anyways, Shedletsky rolled over! All by himself! Without my help!” Dusekkar's eyebrows slightly shot up as he let out a hum of surprise.

“Really? This early?”

“Wait, early? Shedletsky rolled over early? Goddamnit he's so smart! What if he-” 1x1x1x1 continued excitedly chattering about his baby’s future milestones while the mage stayed silent. The more he listened, the more the other man reminded him of Telamon’s reactions. The pumpkin was aware of the fallen god’s neglectful nature in the past, a nature that he regrettably ignored for too long until it was too late, but he still reacted enthusiastically to 1x1x1x1’s baby achievements. Dusekkar used to think that it was because the deity loved and was proud of his kid, but now he sees that they were just proud of themselves for ‘creating’ something so intelligent.

•••

Dusekkar was busy finishing up some paperwork in his office at Roblox HQ. The room was practically his second house nowadays, sometimes he had to take his cats to work with him to make sure they didn't starve to death. The place was a little dark, only being illuminated by a collection of pretty lamps and sunlight from a medium sized window. The studio could easily get mistaken for a library judging by the amount of bookshelves everywhere. Even the mage himself hadn’t read all of the books, but he plans to. The ceiling was decorated by little glow-in-the-dark stars that Doombringer bought him as a joke, but he really appreciated them since it made his office look better.

A loud BLAM suddenly echoed through the room, frightening the mage so hard that he physically jumped from his seat and fell to the floor. After picking himself up using help from his wooden staff, he looked towards the source of the noise. Outside his window there was a very startled Telamon who looked a bit disheveled from slamming into the glass. The pumpkin forgot that the avian couldn’t see glass, smiling fondly and walking forwards to open the window. Telamon climbed through and quickly straightened out their elegant robe, looking towards Dusekkar with a concerningly giddy expression.

“Oh Dusekkar! You will not believe what Telamon’s creation has done!”

“My dear friend, you seem unnaturally excited. What could have possibly happened to get you so delighted?”

“Telamon’s creation has rolled over all by themselves!” The mage blinked in surprise before responding. He was impressed that a child as young as 1x1x1x1 was able to have motor skills that advanced.

“That’s wonderful, a really good start. You must feel pride in your heart.” Telamon grinned smugly and ruffled his feathers with gratification.

“Telamon accepts your compliments. He is really proud of himself for creating such an advanced creature.” Dusekkar’s small smile faltered slightly at the last word, but decided not to question his friend's use of language. He didn’t want to ruin the moment they were having.

“I’m glad that you’re happy, my beloved companion. Your child truly is a champion.”

“Why, thank you Dusek! Telamon is flustered by your praise. Now, Telamon must take his leave, he wants to spread the news about his creation to Builderman.” Before the pumpkin could say another word, the god had already sprinted out of the door, practically flying towards the CEO’s office.

Dusekkar stared at the empty doorway for a while before walking towards it to close the door and return to their desk. As much as he wanted to feel happiness for Telamon, he couldn’t help the wave of dread and unease that seemed to spread over his entire body like a spiderweb. He didn’t even know why, nothing was particularly wrong with the news or even Telamon himself. Shaking his head and clicking his tongue, he picked up some more documents that he had to finish, trying to wash off the negative feelings causing goosebumps all over his body by distracting himself. It didn’t work.

•••

Dusekkar blinked, being snapped out of his flashback by the sound of 1x1x1x1’s continuous blabbering. Looking up at the clock on the wall, he noticed that it has been five minutes since the other admin started their never ending tangent. Despite his ears starting to hurt, he felt a sort of relief and happiness at the green man's pride for his kid.

“-wonder what he might do next! What if he starts walking? Or talking? Would it be possible for him to say his first words tomorrow?” The pumpkin giggled at the naivety of those questions.

“No, 1x1x1x1. He’s way too young for that. You’re gonna have to wait for those.” 1x1x1x1 seemed like he was about to say something else before he was cut off by a shrill cry on the other side of the line.

“Aw shit, Dusek I gotta go. I think the kid’s hungry. I’ll see you later.” The mage said his goodbye’s before hanging up the call. His house was once again filled with silence and the noise of his cats chewing and purring. He placed his phone down on a table and looked up at a wall, one containing a grand framed photo from when he first started working at Roblox HQ. It was an image of all four main admins, Builderman, Doombringer, Telamon and himself. In the background, the HQ’s past look could be seen. The skyscraper was nothing like its grand appearance nowadays, just a simple building made of metal and glass, but it was enough.

Walking up to the photograph, his fingers traced Telamon's face, permanently stuck in an expression of pure happiness behind the glass casing. It was one of those rare smiles crafted of genuine joy instead of the usual sadistic smirk the god usually had. He remembered that day as if it was yesterday, still feeling the warmth of the sunlight and hearing the excited chatter of his peers if he focused hard enough. He would have never guessed that his life would be so different in the future, with two of his friends turning into bitter shells of their former selves and Telamon being gone.

And yet, he didn’t feel sad about how things turned out. Sure, he mourned the figurative death of his friends and the literal death of Telamon everyday, but not everything was completely terrible. His newfound relationship with 1x1x1x1 was something he was glad about, and despite how short he has known Shedletsky for, he couldn’t imagine his life without the baby. He would have been a very gullible person to think that things would stay the same forever, because it doesn’t. What matters now is how you cope with it.

A tender smile spread across his face, eyes still glimmering with grief as he took his hand off of the picture and floated towards his room, softly closing the door behind him.

Chapter Text

Today was the twenty fifth of October.

Normally, 1x1x1x1 couldn’t care less what the date was, but this day was something that he was supposed to consider ‘important’. Robloxians all over the world looked forward to this day, especially children, with giddy excitement. Kids barely were able to contain their happiness on the days coming up to this event, going so far as to not being able to sleep the day before. And when the day finally comes, they celebrate with balloons and cake and presents and friends since in their eyes it was the most important day of the year, and yet this day is different for everyone.

It was 1x1x1x1’s birthday.

Typically, he would treat that day as if it was any other, maybe get a sweet treat as a ‘celebration’. And that's exactly what he was planning to do today. He decided that he would try again at making a cake and perhaps even go out for a bit if he had the time. He had already finished most of the paperwork that Builderman had assigned to him, and so he was going to do the rest tomorrow. He made sure that he was going to buy every single ingredient so that it didn’t end up like last time.

He searched up for recipes online, Shedletsky babbling in his high chair, until he came across one that he liked. The title said that it was ‘The Best Chocolate Cake’, so it must be true, they surely wouldn’t lie. He had scrolled down towards the ingredient list and ordered everything he needed. He would not use any soda this time, absolutely not! While he waited for the order to arrive, he ended up making the baby’s breakfast, adding a little more honey than usual for it to be extra sweet. The kid was too young to eat the cake, so might as well make their meal more delicious.

The ingredients arrived sooner than 1x1x1x1 expected, having everything set down on the table in front of him in no time. The infant was already gulping down the honey water, sometimes reaching out one of his hands towards a nearby flour sack in an innocent curiosity. Tightening a frilly pink apron that he once accidentally bought but decided to keep, he clenched his fists in determination and went to reheat the oven. No more making mistakes, time to grind.

He added the flour, baking powder, cocoa powder, sugar and a pinch of salt all in one bowl and started to mix using a whisk. A couple weeks back, he had told Dusekkar about his failed cake, the mage promptly showing him what the correct way to mix ingredients was. He now knew that whisks were supposed to be used to stir, not hit. Once everything seemed mixed enough, he added some milk and vanilla extract to the concoction. He wondered whether he should add butter as well, but decided not to go against what the recipe told him.

Next, he had to add eggs. He took two of them from the carton they were in and threw them whole into the bowl. The shells would probably soften up with the heat, right? Anyways, he started hitting them until the hard casing crackled into a hundred little shards and started mixing all the ingredients together.

He poured the blend into a mold and shoved it into the oven, setting a timer for thirty-five minutes. The moment he closed the oven door, a feeling of satisfaction and relief settled in his body. This time, he had followed the exact step by step of the recipe, adding every single ingredient needed instead of replacements. Absolutely nothing was going to go wrong with this cake.

He got up from his crouched position and stretched his arms upwards, turning his head around towards the kid. The infant had already finished their food a long time ago and was now speaking gibberish as he struggled against the restraints of the high chair. 1x1x1x1 went over and picked him up, his little head tucked in the admin's neck as his fists gripped onto the apron. He was about to go to the baby’s room to play with him when a loud knocking sound suddenly came from the main entrance.

1x1x1x1’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion before walking towards the door and reaching out one of his hands to turn the doorknob. On the other side stood a cheerful looking Dusekkar holding a cardboard bag in one hand and multicolored balloons in the other. The green admins eyes widened in shock as the mage happily floated into the house and turned his body towards him.

“Happy birthday!” The pumpkin seemed to be more excited than 1x1x1x1 himself.

“...Thanks.” The man just blankly stared at Dusekkar, the mage now uncomfortable shuffling in the air before handing the bag to him.

“I, uh, got you this. I saw it the other day and thought about you so I hope you like it.” 1x1x1x1 took the bag and nodded gratefully towards the other man, leading him to the kitchen which now smelled like chocolate and sugar.

Shedletsky was back to squirming violently in his grip, stretching both his arms towards the six balloons in Dusekkar’s hand. After being placed on the highchair again, the mage tied the balloons to one of the armrests, allowing the baby to grab onto one and punch it around, giggling loudly every time it floated back towards the ceiling. The sight made 1x1x1x1 smile widely before facing the pumpkin again.

“I didn’t think you were coming, Dusek. Would you like anything to drink?” The hacker walked towards the fridge.

“Do you have any juice? I could go for some juice.” 1x1x1x1 silently took out a carton of pomegranate juice and grabbed onto two cups, bringing them to the dinner table. He poured the drink into both cups and handed one to Dusekkar who hummed happily. The two men stayed in an awkward silence for a while before the green admin opened his mouth.

“So, what’s in the bag?” A large smile suddenly stretched across the mage’s face.

“Why don’t you open it and see?” 1x1x1x1 shrugged, placing the bag onto the table and looking inside. The moment he saw what was in it, his breath caught in his throat. A fuzzy little grey cat plushie with huge sparkly glass eyes stared back at him. It looked an awful lot like the small stuffed kitten that the admins had given him years ago for his birthday, but bigger and with a few extra details. This one had a white chest with beady eyes and darker stripes all over its body. There was also a cute pink bow that sat on top of its head. 1x1x1x1 took the gift out of the bag with slightly shaking hands, admiring how no matter which position the cat was in it always seemed to stare right at him.

“So… Do you like it? It’s called a beanie baby. I know that it’s probably too childish for you now that you’re all grown up but I couldn’t help but think of what we gifted you for your seventh birthday when I saw it.” Dusekkar twiddled with his thumbs nervously as he stared at 1x1x1x1, waiting for any sort of reaction. After a couple moments of unbearable quiet, the green admin rapidly stood up from his seat and pulled the mage into a bone crushing hug, the juice in the pumpkins hands spilling slightly in surprise before he hugged him back.

“Thank you Dusekkar. It's perfect.” The admin quickly sighed in relief, the only sounds in the room being Shedletsky’s little squeals, still being entertained by the balloons. The next couple of minutes were spent with both men being deep in a conversation, talking about anything from the other admins to what was on TV the other day. A sharp ringing noise abruptly cut through their discussion, signaling that the cake was ready. 1x1x1x1 put on some mittens and opened the oven door, smiling softly at the sight of a perfectly normal cake, the complete opposite of his last attempt.

“I hope you’re not allergic to chocolate Dusek. I didn’t know you were coming so I didn’t think to ask you.”

“Don’t worry, I'm not. I quite like chocolate actually.” 1x1x1x1 cut two slices of cake and gave one to the other man, both biting into their pieces at the same time. The taste was absolutely amazing, practically melting into their tongues. The only thing wrong with the dessert was the crunch that could be heard with each bite, Dusekkar grimacing slightly.

“Are these… egg shells?” The green admin nodded.

“Yeah. I thought they would soften in the oven. Why didn’t it?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion before taking another bite.

Dusekkar laughed.

Chapter Text

Elliot Builder was having an amazing day! He had woken up early like usual, getting ready and heading straight to work. The customers could be annoying sometimes, but he always tried his best to make their experience an unforgettable one. Unfortunately, he was the only worker in the whole pizzeria today, but he wasn’t going to let that ruin his day. He made pizza after pizza, delivering them to different houses whenever he had the time and rushing back to bring hot food to the waiting customers.

Even though it has been around three months since… he had last hacked the pizzeria, Elliot couldn’t help but stay alert. You never know when a mischievous hacker would just pop out of the corner and burn down your restaurant. He didn’t really feel any sort of hatred towards 007n7, only mild annoyance. He just hopes that he has found another hobby or maybe even turned into a better person, leaving his malicious hacks behind once and for all.

The pizzeria was quiet, the last customer leaving a couple of minutes ago, leaving Elliot with a very rare relaxation period. He felt pretty guilty for not doing any work, even if there wasn’t any work to do, but he was always grateful for some little moments of peace. Taking out his phone, he clicked on a random mini mobile game that Mia had recommended him some time ago. From what he knew, it was very fun. He ended up getting so distracted that he didn’t notice the doors opening, or the booming footsteps getting closer and closer, or the extremely menacing admin standing right in front of him until it was too late.

“Hello.” A grating, glitched voice snapped Elliot out of whatever trance he was in, practically forcing him to look up only to come face to face with one of the most feared individuals in all of Robloxia. The scary bedtime story adults would tell their kids when they didn’t eat their vegetables. The monster that sent a shiver down the spine of even the most hardened soldiers. The living legend that haunted every single history book with tales of violence and bloodshed.

1x1x1x1.

Elliot stammered for a bit, choking on his own words. He took a step back by the sheer surprise that overtook his whole body. Despite all the emotions rushing through his head, there was one thing that horrified him more than any other rumour or possibility of murder. The hacker had seen him distracted playing on his phone. While he was at work. That means that Elliot didn’t greet him the moment he stepped inside, or wished him a good afternoon. That was terrible customer service! And so he quickly composed himself and put the phone in his back pocket, his face flushed red with embarrassment as he turned back towards the man towering over him.

“HELLO! I'M SO SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE! WHAT CAN I GET YOU TODAY?” And now he was yelling?! He was so nervous and even a little scared, but that wasn’t an excuse to scream at a customer's face. This was absolutely unacceptable! 1x1x1x1 eye twitched due to the sheer volume of the other boy's voice and opened his mouth.

“Uh… can I get a… what's the most popular dish in this place?” The admin scanned the menu with the precision of someone doing surgery, eyes sharp as he read through the list of foods and drinks. Okay Elliot, this is your chance to redeem yourself and show 1x1x1x1 what good customer service looks like. A sincere smile was plastered on his face as he quickly thought about the answer.

“Well, most customers order either the sausage pizza or our signature pepperoni, but if you were to ask me, I'd get the pepperoni. For drinks, the most popular choice is the Fizzly, but we also have Bloxy Cola and Witches Brew.” Perfect! He had given him a wide selection of foods and drinks while also offering his own opinion. He wanted to make sure every customer got the best possible pizzeria experience, and 1x1x1x1 was no different.

“Hm… I’ll get two medium pepperoni’s and two Bloxy Colas then.” Elliot happily nodded and typed the order into the cash register.

“You’re total is 25.50 robux, but please let me pay for half. It's the least I can do for the terrible customer service I have given you tonight.” Elliot wouldn’t mind dipping into his savings to make up for his horrible mistakes. Besides, the pizzeria was a thriving family business, so it wasn’t like he couldn’t afford it. 1x1x1x1 however made an expression of extreme confusion, stuttering a bit before protesting.

“What about this night was terrible?”

“Well, first of all you saw me using my phone during work hours. And then I had the nerve to yell in your face! I must have absolutely ruined your night so please let me make it up to you!” Guilt was practically seeping out of his every pore as he took his wallet out before 1x1x1x1 reached out and grabbed onto his wrist.

“Please don’t. Seriously, I didn’t think that the service was that bad. Trust me, I don’t really care whether you were on your phone or not. Lemme pay the full price.” Elliot didn’t even have the chance to open his mouth before the other man essentially threw the money at him. The pizza boy blinked a few times, surrendering to the admin and putting the money in the register. He then headed back to the kitchen to cook up the pizzas.

While he fell into the usual routine of stretching out the dough, spreading the tomato sauce and adding some cheese, he took the opportunity to think about how bizarre the whole situation was. The ruler of all darkness and slayer of admins came to his restaurant to order two simple pepperoni pizzas. Elliot suddenly felt bad for assuming that someone like 1x1x1x1 couldn’t have a normal life. Of course the man wouldn’t just be a monster or a fighter all the time. The worker sighed heavily before redirecting all his attention into making the pizzas. He would make sure these were the best darn pizzas he had ever made in his life.

After around thirty minutes, Elliot returned from the back with two steaming hot boxed pizzas and two chilled Bloxy Colas. He was pretty proud of the level of dedication he used when making the pizzas, using only the freshest ingredients. He looked over to where 1x1x1x1 was standing and handed him the two boxes and a plastic sack of drinks. The admin gladly took it and nodded in gratitude at the boy, walking over to the exit and opening the door. Before the man could take a step outside, Elliot yelled out to him.

“Have a nice night Mister 1x1x1x1!” The admin turned back around and waved his hand goodbye, smiling slightly and leaving the pizzeria. Upon seeing the grin on the customer’s face, Elliot’s own face gained a smile. Another job well done!

Chapter Text

Dusekkar and 1x1x1x1 ended up having an amazing day. The green admin had left momentarily to grab some food for the two men, returning with pepperoni pizzas and Bloxy Colas. They chatted for a few more hours, enjoying the meal and each other's company until the baby started to cry, signaling that it was about time to go to sleep. The mage helped calm the kid down while both men made their way towards the baby room, gently placing the infant to sleep in his crib.

Dusekkar spent a couple more minutes saying his goodbye’s before leaving, a satisfied smile on his face at how the day had gone. True to himself, he was a little bit nervous while buying the balloons and the present since he didn’t know whether 1x1x1x1 even wanted him there, but everything went fine in the end. He and the other man had a splendid time eating weird cake and making jokes. All he wanted to do now was go home and pass out in his bed. At least he did before getting a text on his phone from Builderman.

‘Hey Dusek! Hate to text you this late, but could you come over to the HQ real quick? There was a late night hacking incident and I need you to come collect some paperwork. Again, so sorry!”

The pumpkin furrowed his eyebrow in frustration and opened up a server portal, unenthusiastically floating through it with his head down. Builderman was giving him a lot more work lately, but he couldn’t really blame the man. Even though some big hackers like 007n7 and Noli had stopped their activities recently, a lot more have started to cause chaos around Robloxia. And more chaos means more work. He bets that the CEO is also drowning in documents and spreadsheets.

He swiftly made his way up the stairs of the HQ with his wooden staff in hand, reaching the top where Builderman's office was located. Swinging the doors open, his suspicions of the man's work load were proven correct by the scene in front of him. Builder was sitting on his desk, stacks and stacks of papers surrounding him, while hunched over a form he was filling. There were visible bags under his eyes, sclera pink from exhaustion. Dusekkar winced.

“My dear friend, are you alright? Your disheveled appearance just gave me quite the fright.” Builderman slowly looked up at the other mage and softened his previously hardened glare. He lethargically stood up from his seat and grabbed onto some papers, heading towards the mage.

“Yeah, I'm alright Dusek. Thanks for asking bud. Listen, I’m really, really sorry for giving you more work but I'm completely swamped over here.” He handed the heavy load to his friend, Dusekkar levitating more towards the ground due to the sheer weight of all the paperwork.

“Do not fret, no need to plead. You look like you could use some help indeed. When was the last time you went to sleep Builderman? I’m worried about you, I really am.” The CEO sighed heavily, head nodding downwards a bit before making his way towards his desk and sitting once more.

“Don’t worry about me man, I’m doing fine. Go home, get some rest, I'll go to sleep later.” Dusekkar opened his mouth to protest further but ultimately decided that it would lead to nowhere. Builderman could be really stubborn when it came to his work. He waved goodbye, or at least tried to while carrying all the paper, and left the room. He couldn’t see where he was going with the stack blocking his vision, nearly tumbling into a wall before his vision was cleared by someone picking up half the load from his arms.

“You good Dusekkar? Your arms look like they are about to fall off from all this weight. A scrawny guy like you shouldn’t be lifting this much anyways!” The pumpkin looked up at his saviour, a feeling of fondness spreading across his body at the sight of his good friend Doombringer. The burly man reached out to grab onto more papers, the mage dodging his outstretched hand.

“Thank you for your help, but it’s quite enough. I can handle the other stuff.” Doombringer grunted in approval and continued walking alongside Dusekkar. Both men stayed in a comfortable silence before it was eventually broken by the red admin.

“So, what have you been doing these past weeks? I’ve noticed you have been going out more, we don’t hang out as much as we used to.” The mage’s eyes twitched slightly at the question. He obviously couldn’t tell Doom about his visits to 1x1x1x1, much less mention Shedletsky. He cleared his throat to stall a bit and answered.

“I’ve been out with friends, feeling free. I remember you telling me I should socialize more, that it's good for me.”

“I… have told you that. I just didn’t expect you to actually listen.” Doombringer’s expression stayed almost the same, but Dusekkar could see some small differences that the average person wouldn’t pick up on. How his eyes slightly squinted, his smile tightened, his jaw clenched. The pumpkin knew the other man for a very long time, so he knew all his mannerisms and what they meant. Doombringer was suspicious.

They fell back into silence once more, however it didn’t feel as nice as it did a couple of minutes ago. It was more tense, Doombringer glancing over at Dusekkar from time to time, trying to pry out the truth through his facial expression. The mage tried his best to stay as neutral as possible, but he couldn’t stop a few tweaks from appearing on his face. And Doom noticed. Of course he noticed. As soon as they stepped outside, the pumpkin opened another server portal, this time leading directly to his house.

He unlocked the door, both men stepping inside and dodging the cats that immediately zoomed at their feet, Doombringer nearly stepping on one of them by accident. Dusekkar placed the documents on a nearby counter, gesturing for the other man to do the same. The red admin placed his own paper load next to the other one, but he didn’t leave like the mage expected. Instead, he walked over to one of the living room chairs and sat down. Dusekkar stayed quiet for a few moments before speaking up.

“You don’t have to be here, dear friend. It’s late, I can see that your eyes can barely conten-”

“Nah, it’s fine. Like I said, we barely hang out anymore. Nights still young, don’t you think?”

Dusekkar licked his dry lips and nodded, closing the door behind him and making his way over to the sofa next to where Doombringer was seated. As soon as he sat down, the other man began to talk about mundane things, trying to spark up a conversation. He succeeded, Dusekkar adding in his own points and eventually letting his guard down. After a while of friendly chatting, the brawny man suddenly straightened up ever so slightly.

“Tell me the truth Dusek.”

“What do you mean? I’ve told you no lies. I’ve only been honest, no need for disguise.”

“Seriously, I don’t believe that you were just ‘out with friends’.” His finger did air quotes, his face saddening. “We never kept any secrets from each other, man. I promise you can tell me.”

Dusekkar knew that it would be foolish to say what he was really doing, his body shuddering at the feeling of nervous sweat on his skin. He felt terrible keeping this from Doombringer, but he knew that if he didn’t the consequences would be grave for 1x1x1x1. Both Builderman and Doombringer still despised 1x1x1x1, and while the CEO was more vocal about his hatred, the other admin was more physical. He was never really in control of his emotions, especially when it came to intense feelings of anger or grief. He didn’t know what Doom would do if he knew what was really going on, and he certainly didn’t want to know.

“I don’t know what to tell you, I swear I'm not lying! The truth is all I have given you, no need for prying.” Doombringer rapidly stood up from his seat, the chair making a grating noise against the floor.

“Bullshit! Dusek I know you, you’re not the type to go out so much!”

“It’s none of your business Doom.”

“See! You’re not rhyming! You only do that when it’s serious. You’re hiding something, something bad judging by how you’ve been acting all night. I’m…” Doom's hands shot up to his head, taking some time to breathe and calm down before continuing, his voice softer than it was before. “I’m worried for you. I wouldn’t be so insistent if I didn’t think it was serious Dusek. Just… please tell me.”

A deathly silence was all that was heard in the entire house, even the cats seemed to quiet down as if sensing the tension in the air. And for a moment, Dusekkar thought about telling him. Maybe he would understand. Maybe, just maybe, he would let go of his anger and listen to him. But then he thought back to every interaction between 1x1x1x1 and Doombringer in the past and ultimately decided against it. He didn’t know what to say, so he settled for what seemed to be the easiest solution. Ignore the problem.

“Get out.”

“What?”

“Get out of my house, Doombringer.”

An expression of hurt flashed across his face before being quickly and forcibly replaced with anger. The red admin stomped past Dusekkar and headed for the door, opening it and looking back one last time, giving the mage a chance to say something. Anything. And yet the pumpkin stayed silent. A glint of sorrow shined through his eyes despite his face being twisted in furry, the door being slammed on his way out. Dusekkar was left alone, his grip tightening around his staff.

Chapter Text

Doombringer was currently hunched over a coffee machine, watching as the gadget dispensed his Americano coffee painfully slowly. He genuinely felt that he might actually be dying of boredom, the whirring noise coming from the machine assaulting his ears. He was in one of the many open plan offices in the Roblox HQ since they were the only places where he could get coffee without having to wait in a long line. The comforting noises of employees chattering amongst themselves and the clicking noise of keyboards being used filled the air, the annoying humming of the coffee machine no longer drowning it out as it came to an end.

The admin grabbed his coffee and took a long sip, sighing in satisfaction at the instant energy boost he gained at just the taste of that holy grail. He walked down the halls, now with a newly found bounce in his step, making his way towards Telamon's office. Builderman had given him some folders earlier that he wanted to give the deity but was too busy to do it himself, instead handing over the responsibility to Doom. It was something about ‘new reporting measures’ or some other bullshit like that, something that Doombringer was glad he didn’t have to do himself.

It had been quite some time since he and Telamon talked about something that wasn't about work. The god normally never talked about anything personal, being too proud to let himself be that vulnerable. It had been a couple of decades since 1x1x1x1 was locked away in the banlands after he went batshit crazy, and he was kinda worried about how Telamon felt about the whole thing. Despite it being a long, long time ago, the god would always change the subject whenever it was brought up or just outright snap at whoever dared bring the kid up. Doombringer didn’t understand why Telamon didn’t just go visit 1x1x1x1 and try to rehabilitate the guy, especially since the deity was in charge of managing the banlands so he could just go there whenever he wanted, but Doom didn’t really pry. He wanted to, but he didn’t. He wouldn't force someone to talk about something they didn’t want to, that would be a shitty thing to do.

He finally reached Telamon's office, knocking politely before barging in not quite as politely. The workplace was honestly beautiful, a grand portrait of gold and nature climbing up the walls. The slightly yellow walls were decorated with flakes of gold, an arrangement of well cared for swords and other metal weapons hanging on the walls. Vines climbed from the floor to the ceiling, wrapping their delicate stems around pillars and knives. Some stacks of paper could be seen on a wooden desk on the far left corner alongside a padded black chair. In the other corner, there was a collection of different sized sticks and pillows, creating an oversized comfortable nest. And in the middle of the whole room, was a seemingly very stressed Telamon.

The sound of the door being slammed open startled the poor deity, feathers fluffed up as if trying to escape the wings where they resided and Telamon pupils rapidly dilating and constricting. Doombringer's expression faltered at the sight of the disheveled appearance of his friend. He walked over to the desk and gently placed down the documents before directing his attention over to his friend who was already opening their mouth to speak.

“Doombringer, you dare barge into Telamon's office without so much as a warning?!”

“Hey, I knocked! It’s not my fault you didn’t hear. Also, you kinda look like shit, you missed a deadline or something?” Telamon squawked at the red admin's crude language before composing themselves. His fingers traced down his wings in an attempt to organize the frazzled feathers, Doom's words seemingly affecting the god. After calming down a bit, Telamon walked closer to the other man, placing a hand on his shoulder. The deity wasn’t one who enjoyed physical contact, so this gesture which would normally cause a sense of security only served to give Doombringer a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“No, Telamon did not miss a deadline. Telamon is dealing with… a more personal problem. Someone dangerous has escaped the banlands, and Telamon is trying to fix the problem. Not to worry, this foe is no match for Telamon’s excellency.” Someone escaping a high security prison like the banlands was never good news, but if Telamon says that he has it under control, it must be true. Still, his words for reassurance did little to nothing to comfort the red admin. If Telamon, out of all people, was stressed, it must be serious.

“...Who escaped? You sure you can handle them?”

“Whoever fled from the banlands is, with all due respect, none of your business. And yes, Telamon is sure he can handle it.”

“Alright then. By the way, Builder wants you to complete those documents for next week. Oh! Talking about next week, you wanna hang out with me and the others? We’ll be going to that fast food restaurant we used to go to all the time when we first started Roblox, do you remember? I think the name was, uhh, Building Brother’s pizzeria? I’m not really sure, but you wanna come?” Telamon seemed to ponder for a while before responding.

“Telamon will see if he is free.” In Telamon language, that basically meant ‘Hell yeah i’m coming’, Doombringer smiling in happiness before waving goodbye and walking out, slamming the door again just to annoy the god. Despite the conversation they had, he still felt an almost overwhelming feeling of dread all across his body, bubbling in his gut and making him want to vomit. He didn’t know why he felt this way, Telamon has dealt with dangerous hackers before, but maybe it was the way the deity’s hands shook ever so slightly. Or maybe it was the thin sheet of sweat covering his forehead. Or maybe it was-

Doombringer promptly shook those thoughts out of his head. If Telamon said he could handle it, then he could handle it. If he needed help, he would just say so. And so the admin distracted himself by thinking about their upcoming hangout and how fun it would be, all four of them eating and laughing just like they did before. It didn’t matter that in a few days time he would be receiving the news of Telamon's violent end, stabbed to death by his own son. He couldn’t have possibly predicted that he would be taking over responsibilities that once belonged to his beloved friend, questioning himself why he didn’t just push harder. Maybe then Telamon would have told him about 1x1x1x1’s escape. Maybe then he could have helped. But right now, Doombringer was too busy looking forward to pizza and spending time with his friends, oblivious to the fact that he would never experience that day.

•••

Doombringer opened a server portal, walking through it and into the empty, dark streets of nighttime Robloxia. He was still processing the whole argument he had with Dusekkar, going over every word exchanged in his head over and over again. Him and the mage had always been particularly close, albeit drifting apart these past few years. However, the pumpkin had never hid things from him before, which made Doombringer think of all the possible reasons as to why now. Was he dying? Was he in danger of some sort? Why couldn’t he tell him? Every explanation brought him more and more anxiety. And as if things couldn’t be worse for Doombringer, it started raining.

He flinched at the cold feeling of water dripping down his face, the soft pitter patter of the rain ever so slightly easing his nerves. After standing still for a few minutes, he slowly started to walk towards his own house. Unlike Dusekkar, he preferred to have a house close to the HQ, so there was no need for a server portal.

Truthfully, he was scared. He had never seen Dusekkar act like this before, act so defensive and secretive. The sudden change in his dear friend's personality only served to strengthen his deduction that something was seriously wrong, and he wouldn’t ignore it this time. He couldn’t. He couldn’t make that mistake again. His eyes glimmered with a new found determination, steps turning heavier and louder as his slow walking got faster.

He didn’t know what was going on, but he was going to help Dusekkar, whether the man wanted it or not.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 estimates that it has been around four months since he has gotten Shedletsky. So far, the baby’s improvements have been steady, the kid being able to finally hold himself up into a sitting position without the admins help and even holding their head steady without looking like a bobble-head figurine. All in all, he was extremely proud of his tiny infant. The only thing that slightly worried him is that the kid is much smaller than the average four month old should be. Instead of the average height of sixty three centimeters that google told him was normal for someone his age, Shedletsky was ‘standing’ at fifty six. Still, Dusekkar told him not to worry and that 1x1x1x1 himself was also a very small baby.

Talking about Dusekkar, something seemed to be bothering the mage. The pumpkin didn’t visit as much as he used to, and when he did his mind was always somewhere else. He barely paid attention to 1x1x1x1’s conversations, which made the hacker concerned for his friend. He tried talking to him, but it was no use. The other man would always wave it off as work exhaustion, so after some time the green admin gave up. At least the mage always played with Shedletsky without dozing off, so it was good enough for him. Anyways, 1x1x1x1 was presented with a completely new problem. It looks like the baby has obtained a new hobby. A new mildly annoying and extremely gross hobby.

Biting.

It started a couple of days ago and hasn't stopped since. The kid would bite anything he could get his little mouth on, which included but was not limited to: his plushies, the frame of his crib, 1x1x1x1’s fingers, his own foot, 1x1x1x1’s arm, the hard plastic part of the baby bottle, 1x1x1x1’s hair, 1x1x1x1’s face and 1x1x1x1’s clothes. It got to the point that the man had to wash his clothes twice a day because they were always covered in slobber.

Whenever he would try to pull away, the baby would scream loudly, only stopping when he found something else to shove in his mouth. The admin also noticed that the child seemed to be drooling a lot more lately, getting his spit all over the place. Nowadays, carrying Shedletsky was more like carrying an extremely wet towel, by the end his arms as well as the floor below him would be soaked.

He considered calling Dusekkar, but ultimately decided against it since the mage looked rough nowadays and 1x1x1x1 didn’t want to bother him and stress him out even more. Currently, he was sitting on the plush foam carpet in the baby room, tissue box in hand in preparation for wherever the baby spat everywhere. The plushies had dark patches all over them, the toys feeling heavier due to the amount of saliva absorbed in them. It was gross. It was so, so gross. Fortunately, 1x1x1x1 had already gotten used to disgusting things like that around the two month mark.

Right now, Shedletsky was busy chewing on one of his bright red plastic blocks with all the intensity of the world. The admin was kinda worried that the toy's sharp edges would end up cutting into the kid's gums, so he tried taking the object away from the baby’s intense grip to replace it with something softer. However, as soon as the toy was out of his mouth, his ears were immediately assaulted by a lot of high pitched screaming, little fists making grabby motions towards the taken away block.

1x1x1x1 was about to hand him a squishier, safer plushie when the infant suddenly bit down on his hand instead. Normally, it would just feel like a slimy smooth surface clamping down on his skin, but not now. As soon as the child closed his mouth around his palm, he felt a sharp pain pinching him. With a hiss, he quickly retreated his hand, reducing the child into a sobbing mess again. He looked down at where it hurt only to be confronted with a small dent, small drops of blood slowly seeping from the wound.

1x1x1x1 looked back at the infant with new found surprise, Shedletsky too busy biting into the dropped chicken plushie to notice the man's shock. The admin gently grabbed onto the baby’s face, using his thumb to open his mouth. On his bottom gum, there was a tiny little white stump, now slightly tinted pink with 1x1x1x1’s blood. His startle rapidly turned into realization and then happiness. His kid was teething! That's why he was biting everything, the poor thing must be uncomfortable.

Unluckily, 1x1x1x1 had forgotten to prepare for such an occasion, having no chew toys or pacifiers to offer his child. And so he walked out into the hallways and returned with a laptop in hand. He felt like he was online shopping a lot more things lately, placing orders almost every week. It almost always involved baby stuff, maybe new toys or more honey when it ran out. He quickly bought multiple teething toys, making sure to research the products to make sure they were safe and of good quality.

After around ten minutes of waiting, he was opening a small cardboard box filled with baby products, Shed reaching out and grabbing some pieces of ripped up cardboard and chewing on that too. 1x1x1x1 took out a rubbery baby teething ring, the toy being a light green colour with little bumps all over it to add texture and massage the infant's itchy gums. He experimentally handed it over to the kid who gladly took it from his hand and bit into it. Almost immediately after putting it in his mouth, 1x1x1x1 could see the relief in his eyes as he bit into the thing more aggressively.

The admin picked up the child, a sigh of ease escaping his lips when the infant didn’t start slobbering on his arms. He looked back at his still bleeding hand, deciding that it was best if he placed a bandage on it. While walking to his room to grab the first aid kit, he couldn’t help but be impressed at the kid's jaw strength. The little thing had barely started teething and he already was able to draw blood with a single, quick bite. More pride filled 1x1x1x1’s heart at how strong his infant was.

He hugged Shedletsky tighter, the latter still too busy chewing the toy to pay 1x1x1x1 any attention.

Chapter Text

007n7 woke up with the clatter of pans and plates coming from outside his room. It wasn’t a very pleasant way to wake up, but whatever. He groggily got up from bed and immediately walked over to the dingy crib next to his bed. He was lucky to have gotten it at a random garage sale for only fifty robux, but the thing obviously wasn’t good quality. Still, it gave c00lkidd a place to sleep comfortably and it wasn’t falling apart, so that was good enough for him. C00lkidd also seemed to have been awakened by the ruckus, eyes shiny with a layer of frustrated tears. The hacker quickly picked up the baby and bounced him to calm him down. The last thing he needed right now is for c00lkidd to start wailing.

Still trying to shake off the sleep drowsiness, he carried the child over while looking for the source of that awful noise, eventually being led to the kitchen. He was confronted by a strangely enthusiastic Noli who was currently making what seemed like multiple types of breakfast. 007n7 could see plates of pancakes, waffles, avocado toast and other different meals sprawled along the table, some looking as if they were made by a professional chef while others just looked plain gross. 007n7 cleared his throat in order to get Noli’s attention, the purple man swiftly turning towards him with a big goofy smile.

“Noli, what the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m playing chess.” Both men stared at each other in silence, the only noises in their cramped apartment being c00lkidds cooing and the sizzling of whatever was in the pan.

“...What?”

“What does it look like I'm doing jackass? I’m making breakfast! No need to thank me!” Noli turned his attention back towards the heated pan which 007n7 could now see was filled with eggs, sunny side up. The kitchen was a mess of dirty dishes and random food crumbs all over the place. On the table, he saw different types of jam spilled on the table cloth. That was gonna stain. He internally cringed at the heap of chaos, unconsciously tightening his grip ever so slightly on c00lkidd.

“Dude, how are we gonna eat all this?”

“Chill man! We’ll just put the leftovers in the fridge for later. Then we won’t have to cook breakfast for the whole week. Aren't I a genius?”

007n7 sighed deeply and talked over to the counter next to Noli. Might as well start feeding the kid his breakfast. He took out some baby formula and started heating up the water, setting the baby bottle on the side for later. In the meantime, he sat down at the table and started playing peekaboo with c00lkidd, the infant giggling manically. Noli looked over and dramatically rolled his eyes before looking back at the eggs. After around five minutes, a sharp knocking sound came from the front door. The hacker was about to get up to answer it when his purple companion suddenly skipped past him.

“Allow me m’lady!”

007n7 scoffed at the nickname before going back to playing with the baby. Not even ten seconds later a high pitch shrilling scream echoed through the room, startling both the hacker and the kid. 007n7 jumped up from his seat, grabbing onto a random pan on the table as his weapon of choice and sprinting to the door. C00lkidd was gripping onto his shirt with all the might a little baby could muster, his eyes wide with surprise yet strangely not tearing up. By the time he got to the living room, Noli was cowering behind the sofa, pointing a shaky finger towards the open door. 007n7 looked up, nearly dropping both the pan and c00lkidd at the sight that welcomed him. Standing in HIS doorway, was 1x1x1x1.

•••

1x1x1x1 was simply relaxing in his lounge, Shedletsky playing with his building blocks while the hacker finally finished the Moby Dick book. He looked up from the novel, staring at the discarded chicken plushie on the ground, the toy almost instantly reminding him of 007n7. The man had a baby too, right? He remembers hearing that from one of the many boring meetings he was forced to attend. He glanced over at his child, suddenly having an idea. An amazing, great, awesome idea.

He should introduce his kid to 007n7’s kid! It's a perfect idea! That way, unlike 1x1x1x1 who Telamon forbade from leaving The Heights, Shedletsky could grow up with a friend. Plus, it’s not like the hacker could report him to the HQ. The admins there didn’t really like him, so there was no way he had the courage to go there. And so now here he was, standing in the doorway of their cheap apartment and dodging a flying pan that was thrown at him. He calmly strolled in as if it was his own house, walking towards 007n7 who was quickly looking around for anything else that could serve as a weapon.

A small, red infant poked its head out from the hackers arms and stared at the green admin who stared back just as intensely. It was the first time he was seeing 007n7’s baby, and honestly it looked nothing like him. The kid was entirely red, tiny little horns poking out from their scalp and a thin arrowhead tail flicking around. A yelp snapped him out of his staring battle as the man ducked again, this time to avoid a picture frame. He was getting quite annoyed with all the attacks now, so he opened his mouth in an attempt to calm everyone down.

“Relax! I’m not gonna kill you or anything.” 007n7 did seem to settle down at his words, but Noli just screamed louder.

“THAT’S WHAT SOMEONE WHO WOULD KILL US WOULD SAY!” 007n7 quickly lightly slapped the back of the purple man's head and walked over to 1x1x1x1. Both men stared at each other for a few seconds before c00lkidd suddenly let out a sharp squeal. The admin looked down at the baby and looked up again.

“That’s a hungry cry. You should feed them.”

“...Wanna have breakfast with us?” Noli sharply gasped at that question.

“007N7 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 sighed with happiness as he bit into a perfectly fluffy pancake. It didn’t even need any sort of topping or jam due to how sweet it already was by itself, but the admin spread some Nutella on anyway. Sitting before him was 007n7 with a giggly c00lkidd settled on his lap and Noli who was still trembling like a leaf as he reached for the strawberry jam. The purple man couldn’t decide whether to glare at 1x1x1x1 or to avoid eye contact entirely, so he just kept looking up and down over and over again.

007n7 was too busy feeding c00lkidd some mushed up avocado to notice how tense and nervous his friend was. 1x1x1x1 deduced that the kid was at least six months old by the fact that he was actually eating solid foods and that he was much bigger than his own baby. Their small little face was practically entirely green with a layer of avocado, 007n7 leaning down with a handkerchief to wipe it all off. After around twenty minutes of completely silent eating, the burger hatted man spoke up.

“So, is there a reason for your visit?” Despite him being infinitely more calm than his purple roommate, 1x1x1x1 could still see concealed fear in his eyes. 007n7 had no idea why the other man was here, and it scared him. Even though 1x1x1x1 was infamous and disliked by many, he was still an admin, and 007n7 didn’t trust admins. What if they decided that he wasn’t fit to raise a child and sent the green hacker to take c00lkidd away? He’d be damned if he let that happen. It’s true that he was trying to change for the better, but he wasn’t above using his hacks to defend his family. He slightly pulled c00lkidd closer to his chest, arms wrapped protectively around his little body.

“Yeah, there is actually. Remember when I said I didn’t have a kid?”

“...Yeah?”

“I lied.”

“What?” “WHAT?” Both 007n7 and Noli responded at the same time, one man much louder than the other. Honestly, this was the last thing they had expected. 1x1x1x1 continued eating his pancakes as if he had simply spoken about the weather instead of the absolute mind boggling news he just delivered. Noli choked on his words for a while, making noises akin to a broken car, before 007n7 placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. The purple man physically calmed down at the physical contact and cleared his throat.

“What do you mean you have a kid?! Where did it come from?! Who did you fuck?!” Now it was 1x1x1x1’s turn to choke.

•••

All three men and one baby were now sitting on the living room couch, the two roommates processing all the information that the admin had dumped on them. C00lkidd was still babbling without a care in the world, oblivious to the inner turmoil that his parents were going through. Noli was busy staring into nothing while 007n7 seemed to be experiencing every single emotion at once. The purple man snapped out of his trance and turned to face 1x1x1x1.

“Sooooo… does that mean you gave birth?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Chill man! It’s just a question!” Noli grumbled while going back to staring at the wall. Now it was 007n7’s turn to talk.

“Well, I don’t imagine you came to our apartment just to say that. Is there anything else you wanna say?”

“Yeah. I wanna arrange a playdate between our kids.” 007n7 furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, c00lkidd biting onto his fingers. Noli was now openly glaring at 1x1x1x1 with the intensity of a protective father, placing a hand over the baby’s chest.

“Why our kid?” 007n7’s eyes widened at Noli claiming ownership of c00lkidd while the green admin just sighed.

“Well, it’s not like I can just make other parent friends and set up kiddy hangouts. The other robloxians would probably just start panicking and run away. You guys are really the only other people I know with a baby that don’t start screaming the moment you see me.”

“You sure your baby isn’t going to eat our baby or something freaky like that?” 1x1x1x1’s nose scrunched up.

“...Yes. I’m sure that my four month old baby isn’t going to eat your child.” Noli’s glare softened as 007n7 handed the baby over to the roommate and stood up from the sofa, walking over to the kitchen. He started to put dishes in the sink while he spoke to the admin.

“Where should the playdate be?”

“Preferably my place. Maybe now if you’re not busy?” 007n7 nodded from where he was washing some plates.

“Just gimmie some time to wash up here and we’ll go. By the way Noli, go change c00lkidds diaper.” The other man's expression morphed into disgust and annoyance as he stood up, walking over to the bathroom holding the stinky baby as far as he could and holding his breath. 1x1x1x1 stayed seated on the squeaky sofa, waiting for the other men to finish whatever they were doing. Shedletsky was going to be so happy to have another baby to play with! The admin smiled at the thought, c00lkidd seemed just as energetic as his own kid, so he was sure they would get along just fine.

•••

In no time, both Noli and 007n7 stood in front of the grand temple, mouths agape. The place was bigger and more majestic than they had ever imagined, with beautiful floral life decorating the entrance and magnificent carvings engraved into the walls, adorned by golden flakes. The place was so dignified that they felt as if they were losing money just by looking at the mansion, averting their gaze so as to not go bankrupt. 1x1x1x1 strolled into the temple with all the calmness in the world, secretly relishing at the two men’s reactions.

Walking through the halls of the palace, they all eventually arrived at the baby room, two minions rushing out the room with a baby in hand upon hearing their master’s arrival. As soon as the kid was handed over to 1x1x1x1, the zombies decayed into the floor, temporarily stunning the other two hackers. The green admin turned towards them, gesturing for them to enter the room before walking in himself.

1x1x1x1 placed the infant onto the floor, the kid immediately grabbing onto a plushie. 007n7 stared at the child, noticing that they don’t look anything like the admin. They had expected the baby to be a carbon copy of 1x1x1x1 since he technically ‘reproduced asexually’ but apparently that wasn’t the case. He placed c00lkidd on the floor next to the other baby, stepping back. He had never dropped c00lkidd off in a daycare due to his reputation scaring off the other people, the only source of interaction the baby had was the occasional playmate in a park.

At first the two babies didn’t even notice each other, waving their limbs around as they explored their surroundings and grabbed onto random toys. C00lkidd eventually noticed that he wasn’t the only baby there, shuffling forward in curiosity. At the sudden noise, Sheldetsky looked up, eyes widening slightly in fear at the little red demon charging straight at him. After a couple seconds of awkward squirming, c00lkidd finally reaches the other infant, now staring at him face to face.

The two infants gawked at each other, barely moving. C00lkidd simply gaped at Shedletsky with interest while the other kid looked like he was about to burst into tears. The red baby slowly lifted his hand up and placed it on the other child's face. The physical touch seemed to have been the breaking point as Shedletsky instantly started sobbing loudly, the loud cries triggering c00lkidds own tears. The adults that were previously watching in amusement run up to comfort their respected kids. Noli just stood there as he watched the other two men try their best to stop their children's wails, shuffling nervously as he spoke up.

“Well, that wasn’t the best first interaction.”

“Ya think?!” 007n7 quickly shot back.

•••

After a few hours of reintroducing the kids little by little, the two babies eventually warmed up to each other. Since c00lkidd was older, he was the one who did most of the interaction, handing toys to Shedletsky and occasionally stroking his wings, giggling at the soft texture. The other baby appeared to like it, squealing in delight every time the red gremlin touched his feathers. The infants getting along also meant that the three men could relax a bit, maybe even have a conversation over coffee. And that’s exactly what they were doing. 007n7 and 1x1x1x1 were talking about their own kids while Noli sulked in the corner, stuffing his mouth with pastries.

“Wait, so you’re telling me that your kid only drinks honey?”

“And water! Honestly, it was a struggle when he first started crying from hunger. I kept trying to feed him formula and he just kept on crying.”

“By the way, you never told me your kids name.”

“Oh shit you’re right! His name is Shedletsky.”

“That's… certainly a unique name.”

“You don’t get to judge. You named your baby fucking c00lkidd.”

“True.”

“When are we going hooommmeeeee?” Noli whined.

Chapter Text

Things have been really tense in Roblox HQ, more tense than usual. Dusekkar felt as if he was being watched all the damn time, Doombringer practically glaring daggers at him wherever they were in the same room as each other. It had gotten to the point that it started to affect their work, both admins performing significantly worse these past couple of weeks. They no longer sat together during lunch, the mage sitting in the corner and avoiding Doom with all his might. And Builderman noticed. Of course he noticed.

“Can Dusekkar and Doombringer please meet me in my office? Thank you.” The CEO’s voice crackled through the intercom, some of the other admins turning to stare at the two mentioned men. Embarrassed, the pumpkin slowly closed his laptop and nervously floated toward the staircase, Doombringer choosing to use the elevator so as to not be near the other man, but also because Builderman’s office was on the top floor and he didn’t feel like tiring himself out. Surprisingly enough, both of them reached the office at the same time, avoiding eye contact as they opened the door.

Builderman was waiting on his chair, staring at the two as if he were a tired father and they were his misbehaving children. His expression of one of annoyance and exhaustion, his hand coming up to his face in disappointment before he spoke up.

“Alright. What the fuck is up with you guys?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’m with Doombringer, there is no fuss. All is fine between the both of us.”

“Bullshit.” Builderman slammed his palm on his desk and stood up so fast his office chair hit the wall behind him, making the two admins flinch violently. “You two have obviously gotten into some sort of argument. It’s been affecting your work and the overall atmosphere of this entire building. So, what happened?” Dusekkar fiddled with his thumbs while Doombringer suddenly found the floor very interesting, a thick silence only being interrupted by the CEO’s finger tapping impatiently on the desk. The red admin was the first to speak up.

“Dusekkar is hiding something and won’t tell us. Seriously, it seems important.” Builderman raised an eyebrow at that, averting his gaze over to the mage who has now looked up from his hands.

“Yes, I’ve got a secret, I admit. But I'd prefer to keep it hid.”

“It’s not just a secret Builder, you had to see how defensive he got when I asked him about it. It's definitely something big, maybe even dangerous.” The CEO seemed to think for a while, hand resting on his chin. The quiet ticking of a clock on the wall sounded ear piercing due to the tension in the room. Builderman opened his eyes and turned towards Doombringer.

“Doom, Dusek is allowed to keep secrets. He doesn’t have to share everything with you. Honestly, it’s kinda childish how pressed you are.” Doombringer’s face morphed into one of surprise, then anger. But before he could say anything, Builderman had already turned towards the pumpkin.

“And Dusek, is it really that serious that you can’t tell us? If it poses a threat to either yourself or others, you shouldn’t keep it a secret. So tell me, is it something that we should know about?” Dusekkar stayed quiet for a few seconds, grabbing onto the fabric of his shirt in a nervous fashion. He knew that something this big should be shared with the others, but he also knew that they would probably overreact and maybe even harm 1x1x1x1 or Shedletsky. And so with a tired sigh, he spoke up.

“No danger here, no cause for chatter. It’s simply a private, personal matter.” Builderman seemed to accept this response, reaching back to pull his chair forward and sitting on it again. Doombringer on the other hand looked like he was about to explode, but there was also a hint of self doubt in his eyes.

“So, now that everything is cleared up here, I want there to be no more funny business in the HQ. You guys are dismissed. Just… the next time you have problems with each other, talk it out before causing this much drama.” Both men nodded and walked out the door, Dusekkar giving the CEO a small wave before closing the door. For the first time in weeks, they made prolonged eye contact, only turning away to go back to their own offices.

Dusekkar flew down the stairs and into his work room, closing the door and sitting down in his chair. He knew he didn’t do anything wrong, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty. His friends were stressed and worried about him, and yet he didn’t do anything to ease their nerves. He furrowed his eyebrows and reached for his laptop, only to realize that he had forgotten it back in one of the open offices. Whatever, he would just get it later. He instead decided to finish up some paperwork that was due in a couple of days. The first paper was talking about an unfixed infinite robux glitch, and so he started writing on possible solutions and punishments for those who abused that bug.

•••

Before Dusekkar knew it, the sun had already set. The usual chatter outside his office had subdued into an uncanny silence since most of the workers had already gone home. On the up side, he had finished all his paperwork, the only remaining work he had to do now was the online documents. He figured he would do it tomorrow, sleep catching up to him as his eyelids grew heavy. Time to go home.

But first, he had to go back and retrieve his laptop. Sluggishly, he walked towards where he had left it, too tired to float. He ended up forgetting exactly where he had left the device, looking around in different offices and even the halls. By the time he had found it almost everyone had already exited the building, the only other person he had seen being Clockwork who was staying overtime to finish up a project. Oh, and Doombringer. Doombringer who was also in the same room as him, sitting on the chair next to where his laptop was as if he were a cartoon villain waiting for the protagonist to find him. The burly man stood up the moment Dusekkar had picked up his laptop, slightly startling the pumpkin.

“Dusek, I-” He paused for a moment before continuing. “I would like to apologize. I now realize that my actions were kinda over the top and that I was being dramatic. I shouldn’t have tried forcing you to reveal your secret, it was real shitty of me to do that.” The mage was stunned for a few seconds. This was definitely not what he was expecting. But before he could respond, Doombringer pulled him in for a bone crushing hug. Dusekkar stiffened up before melting into the other man's arms, hugging him back.

“It’s alright, I forgive you, so don’t dwell. Thank you for apologizing, all is well.” He patted the red admins back, Doom letting him go after what seemed like forever. It was certainly a pleasant surprise, so he wasn’t complaining. He was happy that everything was fine between them now, the previous guilt shimmering away into nothingness. He waved goodbye and floated away with a newfound energy. However as soon as the robed man turned a corner, Doombringer's calm smile dropped.

An uneasy feeling setting deep within his chest, a metal object burning against his palm. He felt bad doing this, stealing something from the pumpkins pocket, but it truly seemed like Dusekkar wasn’t going to reveal whatever is troubling him so much. He really wanted to help his friend, but the mage was being extremely stubborn. A clinking sound filled the silence as he held the object in front of his face.

Dusekkar’s house keys.

Chapter Text

It's been a few days since 007n7 had first visited 1x1x1x1 with c00lkidd, and since then they had scheduled some more hangouts. The green admin had started looking forward to their meetings, always preparing some coffee and small treats beforehand so that they could eat and chat. Most of the time Noli would stay home, but on the off chance that he did come he would usually just hangout with the babies instead of talking with the adults, grabbing onto plushies and making funny noises to make them laugh. Sadly, repeated outside exposure could bring some unwanted outside influence.

One day, 1x1x1x1 woke up to the sound of crying. It wasn’t surprising since it had happened before, but this cry sounded different. It put him on edge, so he quickly changed out of his pajamas and rushed to the baby room. Once he got there, he looked down at the crib and picked up the sobbing child, nearly dropping him at how hot he was. Seriously, he was fifty percent sure that if he cracked an egg on his kids forehead it would cook. No wonder the child was crying, he was burning up!

1x1x1x1 readjusted his grip and walked back to his room, taking out the emergency medkit in his bathroom and retrieving a thermometer. He put it in the kid's armpit and waited for a few minutes, gently bouncing him in order to provide some comfort in the meantime. Some time later he removed the thermometer and saw the result, hissing through his teeth at the reading. 38.5 degrees celsius.

If this happened a couple of weeks ago he would have been panicking, immediately calling Dusekkar and maybe even putting the infant in the fridge to bring down his temperature. Right now he was still internally panicking but has since learned that it’s better to stay calm in these types of situations. 007n7 told him that being frantic in high pressure situations would only cause the baby to become frantic as well, so it’s better to assess the situation and only then decide whether it's time to start panicking or not. Alright then, the kid has a fever, so now what?

First of all, he needed to find out what type of sickness the infant had, so 1x1x1x1 lifted up Shedletsky, observing any other signs that might help him with identifying the virus. He noticed that the child had a runny nose, coughing loudly in between sobs. His eyes were pretty red and he seemed to have difficulty breathing, almost hyperventilation. He was also squirming around more than usual, as if he were trying to get out of his father’s grip. 1x1x1x1 took note of all these symptoms and took out his phone, once again using the all knowing app called google.

Typing out all these symptoms into the search engine gave him two possibilities, it was either a cold or the flu. The admin ultimately decided that the cold fit better since there were a lot more symptoms for the flu that Shedletsky didn’t have. Fortunately colds normally aren't a big problem for babies, the kid getting one hundred percent better after around a week. 1x1x1x1’s nerves eased up at that information, only now noticing that the baby wasn’t crying anymore, instead opting to bite his arm in a self soothing manner.

Okay, now that he knew what was going on, he better start helping the poor kid get better. He would rather not use any medicine unless it was really needed since he was scared he would mess something up and make the infant even worse. Laying the baby down in his crib again and going to the kitchen, he picked up a small cloth and wetted it. One of the most important things to do was bring the fever. He would much prefer that his baby didn’t turn into an open campfire thank you very much.

He gently placed the damp cloth over his kids forehead, Shedletsky almost immediately calming down in what seemed like relief. Okay, now he has to make sure the baby stays hydrated. Dehydration was a huge problem when it came to the cold since the fever causes your body to release more fluids through sweating and rapid breathing. Going back to the kitchen, he filled up a bottle with the usual water and honey. The man figured that honey could help with the dry coughs. The only problem now was that Shed refused to drink it, turning away every time the admin tried. He did also read that loss of appetite was one of the symptoms, but god was this frustrating.

“C’mon buddy, this is for your own good.” Pleading with the baby seemed to work a bit, the infant finally taking a few sips before turning away again. This cycle repeated until the bottle was empty, 1x1x1x1 satisfied that his child had drunk the whole thing, even if it took around forty minutes. He placed the bottle to the side and took out his phone again. The next step was to run a humidifier since the steam could help unblock the kids nose. He was pretty sure he had one of those laying around here somewhere, so he went off to go hunt for the humidifier. After ten minutes of looking in every single room, he eventually found it tucked away in some random closet in one of the guest rooms.

It took some time for him to set it up since he has never used it before, removing the baby proof plug covers and plugging the humidifier into one of the outlets in the baby room. Soon mist started to flow from the object, 1x1x1x1 staring at the steam dissolve into the air before turning off the main lights. He only left the lamps on, making the room bright enough for the man to see where he was going but dark enough for the baby to be able to rest. Peering down into the crib again, he noticed that Shed was a lot calmer than before. His cries had completely stopped and he was able to breathe through his nose clearly, grabbing onto one of 1x1x1x1 fingers and biting into it.

The admin stayed in that position for a while, only retreating his hand when he saw that the baby fell asleep. He was glad that the infant felt comfortable enough to go back to sleep, he was sure that this cold would pass very quickly. He unlocked his phone and snapped a photo of him and the sleeping baby, sending it to Dusekkar and texting him about what happened. Even if he didn’t need any help from the mage right now, it still felt right to inform him about what was happening. With a heavy sigh, 1x1x1x1 retreated into his office. He had a lot of work to do.

Chapter Text

Doombringer had opened a server portal that led directly to Dusekkar's house, heart pounding in his ears as he took out the key. The mage had gone to an important meeting with Builderman and would be occupied for at least thirty minutes. That should give him enough time to do what he had to do and get out of there. He promised himself that if he found nothing he would leave the whole secret thing behind. A soft click coming from the now unlocked door caused him to flinch. Violently. And for a moment, he hesitated.

Was he going too far? Was he really going to break into his friend's house because of a stupid hunch? He thought about turning away, about how this was his last chance to reconsider, about how this was a massive breach of trust. He stepped back, almost leaving when he remembered Telamon. He couldn’t let that happen to another friend of his, he just couldn’t turn a blind eye to something that could potentially be harming Dusekkar. And so he lightly slapped his forehead and dragged his hand down his face, swinging the door wide open and entering.

Everything was so quiet, Doombringer standing at the doorframe like a dumbfounded idiot before feeling something at his feet. He looked down, noticing that both of Dusekkar's cats were rubbing against his legs, unaware of the crime he was committing. He widely steps forward so as to not step on the cats, pushing the door so that it would close behind him. It didn't, instead being ever so slightly ajar. Whatever.

After realizing that the admin wasn’t going to pay them any attention, the cats sprinted away back to their toys and scratching posts. Doom noticed just how dark the whole house was, the only light coming from the occasional lamp and from between the window curtains. He could barely see where he was going, so after tapping on the walls for some time he finally located the light switch and turned it on. His eyes squinted slightly as he tried to adjust to the sudden light, and only then did he start looking.

There had to be something that could clue him in on what was happening. There had to be a letter or something, anything. The first place he looked was the pumpkin's house office. He thought about going to his bedroom first but ultimately decided against it since it felt kinda creepy. He would just leave it as a last resort. He rummaged around in the cabinets, only finding a couple stray pens and a concerning amount of staplers. Seriously, one of the drawers was fully dedicated to just staplers. He also checks some of the papers that were on his desk but they were all just work shit.

He tried accessing the computer but he needed to input a password, a password that he didn’t know. He overturned the whole office, making a conscious effort to leave everything the way it was so that Dusekkar didn’t suspect anything, but he found nothing. Alright, that's fine, onto the next room. The guest room looked like it had never been touched, everything neatly in order. It made some sense considering the mage almost never invited people over, and when he did they almost never stayed the night. Doombringer was willing to bet half of his life savings that the room had been used less than five times.

He honestly didn’t expect to find anything here, but better to be safe than sorry. The wardrobe was just filled with spare clothing, most of it robes, and the small cabinets next to the bed were completely empty. He had even checked under the damn bed, only to sneeze at the amount of dust and cat fur that assaulted his nose. Eugh.

The racket he was making eventually attracted the attention of the cats who were now staring at him with big glowing eyes. The audience made him feel kinda guilty, the admin shaking the feeling off before continuing on his task. Since he found nothing in the guest room, he left into the hallway and entered Dusekkar's bedroom. The place was very neat and dark, a few candles lighting up the area and some glow-in-the-dark decorations. Doombringer turned on the main light before starting his search. He didn’t check anywhere which would be too violating, like the wardrobe or the bathroom, so he just settled for looking into drawers, bookcases and on the desk.

There was nothing.

He went back into the living room, sighing in disappointment at how futile the whole thing was. He didn’t even bother looking in the kitchen, knowing that there definitely wasn’t going to be anything there. Just in case, he did a double sweep of the whole house, just to make sure everything was tidy and in place before returning to the living room. He was almost about to give up and leave when he heard the pinging of a notification. He looked back, realizing that Dusekkar forgot his phone on top of the dinner table.

He wasn’t planning on checking the mage’s phone, mostly because he didn’t know it was there. Plus, he didn’t even know the password to the damn thing, so it’s not like he could just go through it. He simply glazed at the phone screen for a few seconds out of reflex, planning on turning away and going back home, when he suddenly froze. He did a double take, grabbing the phone and getting a better view at who exactly was texting Dusekkar.

1x1x1x1.

He couldn’t see what he had texted since it was an image and those didn’t show up on an unlocked phone, but the fact that fucking bastard was messaging his friend in the first place already raised red flags. Now he definitely had to try to unlock the phone. 1x1x1x1 was probably threatening the mage or something. Okay, he had three tries to get the password right before the phone locks itself, so he better make it count.

The combination was composed of six numbers, so his first guess was Dusekkar's birthday, 14/02/75. He swiftly entered those numbers. It didn’t work. His second guess was the day he got his cats. Doombringer remembers that day, the pumpkin even threw a ‘Welcome Home’ celebration since he was so excited. Only Doombringer, Builderman and Telamon were invited, but it was a happy day nonetheless. He typed out those numbers, 27/06/03. It also didn’t work.

This was his last chance, so he really had to think about it. What was something so important that Dusekkar would want to make it his password? Honestly, it might just be a random combination of numbers, but what else can he do? Doombringer paced up and down the room, trying to rack his brain for any ideas. And then he got it. He felt like an idiot for not thinking about it sooner, but he typed it anyway. It worked.

01/09/06. The day Roblox was created.

Doombringer silently celebrated in his head for a bit before returning his attention to the phone, suddenly remembering the seriousness of what he was doing. He clicked on the messages app, selecting 1x1x1x1’s icon, and what he saw made his stomach drop. He was immediately confronted with a photo of the green admin smiling into the camera, but that wasn’t what Doom was focusing on. Right behind him, in a crib, lay a small yellow baby. What. The fuck.

He scrolled upwards, seeing multiple messages exchanged between the two men. Many of them were just normal conversation, but most of it revolved around said baby. The first message rolled back to months ago, longer than when Doom started suspecting something was wrong. This was so much worse than he initially thought, and that realization made him sick. Dusekkar really hid a whole ass baby from him, from everyone, for so long. He was about to grab his own phone and text Builderman about this when he heard the door suddenly slam open, raising his head to see a startled Dusekkar.

•••

Dusekkar was pretty exhausted coming back from that meeting. It had ended much earlier than expected, but it was still rough as hell. There was so much work that had to be done, stressing both him and Builderman out to the point that both men looked like they were gonna cry and pass out. The CEO eventually ended up assigning the remaining work for tomorrow, way too stressed to do it now, much to the mage’s relief. He wasn’t happy that his dear friend was tired, but if he had to go through one more report he was going to break something.

He opened a server portal to the front of his house, pulling out a spare key since it looks like he lost his main one, only to notice that the door was already unlocked. A deep sense of dread filled his body almost instantly, the pumpkin going into fight or flight as he held up his staff in a defensive position. Who the fuck was brave, or stupid, enough to break into an admins house, much less one of the most powerful ones?

He kicked the door open, ready to summon his admin panels or start swinging, when he saw who was in there and froze up. He could recognize that horned bucket hat from anywhere. Doombringer currently had his phone in his hands, screen displaying messages exchanged between him and 1x1x1x1. His throat suddenly tightened up, the man slowly lowering the staff and taking another hesitant step into the house.

“...What are you doing here?”

Chapter Text

Dusekkar couldn’t breathe. His eyes were locked on the glowing phone in Doombringer’s hand, slowly averting his gaze towards the man in front of him. The red admins eyes held so much confusion, betrayal and rage that it felt like a physical blow on the mage’s stomach. He wondered whether or not 1x1x1x1 felt this way when Dusekkar saw Shedletsky for the first time. He couldn’t help but compare this situation with that one, except instead of freezing up and running away, Doombringer almost immediately confronted him.

“Dusek. What the fuck is this?” The burly man stepped closer to the pumpkin, Dusekkar gently closing the door behind him. He tried responding, but all that came out were choked stutters and gasps. After what seemed like a lifetime, the mage took a deep breath and opened his mouth.

“Look, I know this looks bad, but just let me explain-”

“Looks bad?! Dusek this is fucking huge! It doesn’t just look bad, it looks terrible! Just wait till Builderman hears this I-”

“NO!” Dusekkar yelled, momentarily stunning Doombringer. He had barely ever heard the other man yell, not even when Telamon died, so he felt a little more uneasy than he already did. “Doom, Builder cannot hear anything about this. Please, please, please don’t say anything I swear I’ll explain everything. Please trust me when I say it’s not as bad as it seems.” The mage clasped his hands together in a praying manner, pleading with the red admin to just calm down and listen. He didn’t.

“Dude, I just found out that you were hiding a whole ass kid from me and you want me to just calm down?! I can’t believe you would hide something so important from me, from us! Here I was worrying my ass off thinking you were in danger while you were just playing co-parent with one of, if not, the worst asshole in all of Robloxia!”

“Doom-”

“Seriously, this is 1x1x1x1 we’re talking about! For all I know he could be abusing the hell out of that baby! He probably is! He is a goddamn murderer and one of the most dangerous hackers of all time and you’re letting him raise a child?! How irresponsible are you?! He literally killed Telamon for crying out loud!”

“I just-”

“Is he threatening you for something?! Is that why you didn’t tell anyone?! Because that’s the only explanation I will accept Dusek! However judging by the messages you two have exchanged I don’t think that is the case! You seem to be willingly helping him with this bullshit and even fucking condoning it! Did you just forget about everything he did?! Did you forgive him, just like that?!”

“Just let me-”

“I’m telling Builderman. I am so telling Builderman all about this! He needs to know! We need to save that baby from 1x1x1x1’s clutches before it gets tortured or killed! Where did he even get it?! Did he kidnap it?! That poor child is most likely suffering right now! Again, I can’t believe you would hide this! You out of all people should know that absolute danger that comes with that man and you should have reported it to the HQ the moment you found out! Oh I am going to text Builder right now and-”

“DOOMBRINGER SHUT THE FUCK UP, SIT DOWN, AND LISTEN TO ME!” The red admin's jaw immediately snapped shut, eyes widening at the sudden scream. Dusekkar huffed in frustration and pointed at a nearby chair, gesturing for the other man to sit. Doom didn’t argue. He genuinely thought that if he did the mage might actually bite his head off. He plopped down on the cushioned chair, swallowing loudly as he stared at the pumpkin. Dusekkar took a couple of deep breaths before stepping closer to the sat man.

“Look, I know you’re probably confused and angry right now, but unless our friendship means absolutely nothing to you you will stay shut and listen to me goddamnit!” Doombringer rapidly nodded his head, too shocked to say anything. The mage sat down on a chair next to him and let all the information spill. He spoke about how he found out about the baby, how he has been secretly helping 1x1x1x1 raise it, and how the green admin was genuinely a good parent. The red man did interrupt a few times but was quickly shut up by an annoyed glare.

Dusekkar couldn’t lie, it felt so good to let everything out. He had been keeping it in for so long that he didn’t realize just how much it was weighing him down. By the end of his rant he could swear he felt at least five pounds lighter. Doombringer was silent for a long time, just processing all the information he heard. It was a lot, causing him to go through a wide range of emotions before settling on clarity. After what must have been five minutes, he spoke up.

“I still think we should tell Builderman.”

“He would act irrational Doom. It wouldn’t be the best course of action to take.”

“He still deserves to know!”

“If you tell him I will literally never talk to you ever again.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Maybe.”

“...Fine. I’ll stay quiet. But I wanna meet this baby.”

Dusekkar nodded, the room settling into silence once more. Doombringer looked at the phone in his hands again, clicking on the photo and staring at the kid again. It looked a lot like someone, he just couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He was so focused on attempting to recall who this person was that he didn’t notice Dusekkar furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, only snapping out of his thoughts when the mage placed a hand on his shoulder.

“How are you here?”

“Huh?”

“In my house. How are you in my house?” The red admin suddenly looked very sheepish, taking out the stolen key from his pocket and handing it to the other man. The mage raised his eyebrows in surprise and snatched the key, shoving it into his own pocket.

“I, uh, took your key. Sorry.”

“Doom what the fuck! You stole from me and broke into my house?!” The red admin could see a glimmer of betrayal in the pumpkins eyes, cringing slightly at his own stupidity and hunching into himself. Looking back now that he didn't have anything to cloud his judgment, he realized that what he did was extremely shitty, even if he was doing it to ‘help’ his friend.

“I’m sorry Dusek. I-”

“How do I know?!” Dusekkar exclaimed, standing up from his seat with a new found anger. “How do I know you’re really sorry, huh?! Last time you apologized you lied! How do I know you’re telling the truth now?!” Doom stayed silent. The mage breathed heavily before groaning loudly and walking away, opening his bedroom door and looking back at the other man.

“Just… get out. Come back tomorrow and I'll introduce you to the baby.”

“I-”

Doombringer flinched as a loud slam echoed throughout the small house, startling the cats as well. Defeated, he got up and left, opening a server portal and stepping into his own house.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 was in a good mood as he whipped up some sweet treats in the kitchen, currently flipping some pancakes to go with the homemade strawberry jam he made last week. Dusekkar had texted him that he was going to visit this morning, so he had to make sure everything was perfect. The mage hadn’t visited him and Shedletsky for so long, their last encounter being around two weeks ago. Even the baby seemed to miss him, making excited little babbling sounds whenever he heard the pumpkins in voice call.

All in all, he greatly missed his friends' company, so he decided to throw a sort of ‘celebration’ for his arrival. There wasn’t going to be a party, just some delicious foods and nice conversation, but 1x1x1x1 thinks it fits Dusekkar just right. He had finished up the pancakes, placing them in a stack on a plate and placing the pan inside of the washing machine, turning it on. Shedletsky was sitting on his high chair and chewing his teething toy, happily kicking his legs around and occasionally making squealing noises.

He placed the place on the table, careful as to not tip over the tower, and went over to pick up the kid. On seeing the admin approach, he stretched out his tiny arms and grinned widely, clenching and unclenching his fists. 1x1x1x1 lifted the child from the chair and adjusted his grip into a shoulder hold, the baby tucking his face into the crook of his neck. The hacker smiled softly, walking up and down while bouncing the infant, waiting for Dusekkar. After a few minutes, he heard a sharp knock coming from the front door. He placed Shedletsky back in his high chair and walked over to the entrance with a bounce to his step. He swung the door open, ready to greet his friend.

“Hey Dusek! It’s been a long t-” 1x1x1x1’s enthusiasm faltered instantly as he noticed that the mage wasn’t the only person there, the excitement being completely wiped away as he recognized who it was. Doombringer. His eyes diverted between the two men before settling onto the red burly man.

“Oh! Uh, Doom, I… If Builderman sent you because of the unfinished work tell him that I was planning on doing it today! There’s no need to come in because there’s absolutely nothing wrong here and you can just go back to HQ and-”

“1x1x1x1?”

“Yeah Dusek?”

“He knows.”

“...What?”

“About Shedletsky. He knows.”

“...” 1x1x1x1 didn’t know how to react. He just kept glaring at Dusekkar, eyes migrating towards Doombringer. The man looked strangely nervous, shifting on his feet as he attempted to look past the green admin and into the temple. The hacker stepped sideways to block his view, glaring at the red man so intensely that he leaned back. Despite his tough demeanor, 1x1x1x1 was internally panicking. Were they going to take his baby away? Like hell he would let them! He wasn’t above committing murder, even if Dusekkar has turned into one of his best friends. He was about to open his mouth when the mage interrupted him.

“It's okay 1x1x1x1, he won’t try anything. He knows better than to do that.” Now it was Dusekkar's turn to glare at Doombringer, the admin suddenly looking bashful at the hateful stares. 1x1x1x1 hesitantly nodded ever so slightly and gestured for the two admins to come in, closing the door behind them. The red man noticed that the temple looked almost exactly the same as the last time he’d seen it, which was when Telamon was still alive. The only things that were different were some new decorations and the fact that everything looked a little more run down, which is expected since the house was more than a thousand years old.

The hacker still looked extremely uncomfortable considering someone who has hated him for who knows how long was standing in his hallway. The man didn’t seem to be doing anything, more focused on staring at the ground than anything else, which for some reason put 1x1x1x1 on edge, as if he was waiting for him to do something. Luckily, Dusekkar seemed to sense the tension, clearing his throat.

“So, how was your day so far?”

“How does he know? Did you tell him?” The green man’s voice embarrassingly cracked at the last question. He has trusted the mage to keep the baby a secret, especially when it came to the other admins. And now one of those admins knew. Besides 1x1x1x1 himself, Dusekkar was the only other person who would have easy access to the other admins who knew about Shedletsky, so what else was he supposed to think? The pumpkin furrowed his eyebrows and floated over to where 1x1x1x1 was standing, leaving Doombringer alone to the side.

“No, I didn’t tell him. Nor did I plan too. I just forgot to turn off my phone and he saw the messages.” The red man was pretty surprised that Dusekkar would half-lie like this, but he definitely wasn’t complaining. The green admin seemed to accept this response and physically calmed down, untensing his muscles as he nodded. He led both of them to the kitchen, and that's when Doombringer saw it. Sitting on a high chair was a tiny yellow baby with brown fluffy feathers, chewing the hell out of a rubber toy. Even though he had already seen a picture of it, the kid was so much smaller than he expected, to the point in which he was actually a little worried about its growth. Seeing it in person, he was once again hit with a faint feeling of recognition, still trying to rack his mind for anyone who would look like the kid.

“...This is Shedletsky.” Doom continued to stare before taking a couple steps forward towards the child, being almost immediately stopped by 1x1x1x1’s hand on his chest, pushing him a bit. “Don’t fucking touch him.” The red man blinked in surprise, the other admin picking up the baby and turning it away from him. He was about to protest, but an authorial glare from Dusekkar shut him right up. He should have expected this considering he and the other admin were not on good terms. Of course he wouldn’t trust him enough to even look at the kid.

“Take a seat.” There wasn’t any clear emotion behind 1x1x1x1’s eyes, just small glimpses of fear, anger, confusion and something else Doom couldn’t quite make out. He took a seat next to the mage, the green hacker placing the baby back on his high chair and sitting down as well. This was going to be an awkward afternoon.

Chapter Text

The lunch was nothing short of uncomfortable. 1x1x1x1 was too busy glaring daggers at Doombringer to eat anything, the red admin feeling more and more queasy by the second. Dusekkar seemed to be trying to assess the situation, searching for anything to say to make everything less awkward while Shedletsky was occupying himself with his honey water, oblivious to everything happening. After what felt like centuries, someone was finally brave enough to say something. That someone being Dusekkar.

“So! Is there anything new with the baby? I haven't been here in so long, something interesting must have happened.” The green admin’s eyes softened as he broke the intense staring contest between him and Doombringer, the burly man sighing in relief.

“In fact there is! Shedletsky has made a new friend.”

“Has he now?”

“Yes! You know that 007n7 has a kid too, right? Well, his name is c00lkidd and he's just as energetic as Shed. They are best friends now! Last time they were together, they-” 1x1x1x1 continues rambling about the past playdate, forgetting the ominous red presence in front of him. Doombringer looked around, trying to distract himself with anything else so as to not eavesdrop on the two other men’s conversation, and eventually found himself staring at the baby who was staring right back at him.

The kid’s brown eyes reminded the red admin of a deer, his fluffy coat being so light compared to his slightly darker coloured wings and hair. The honey water was already gone, the corners of his mouth being golden and sticky with the syrup. His feathers were so very small, barely covering the entirety of his wings, which was understandable since the infant was just a fledgling. He was wearing a pastel pink onesie, which was a hilarious contrast to his father’s own menacing colouration. Doombringer noticed that the kids eyelashes were also a very white hue, which reminded him of how 1x1x1x1 looked like as a child. The kid’s colours would most likely darken as he got older, the light yellow turning blonde and the hazel turning into a more chocolate colour. Honestly, those wings did look pretty, having great potential to turn into great majestic ones much like… like…

Doombringer’s nails dug into his palm, face turning pale at the realization of who the baby reminded him of. Telamon, the kid looked almost identical to Telamon. If he wasn’t so shell shocked right now he would probably be beating himself up at not realizing it sooner. He was so stunned that he didn’t even notice that the other two men had stopped talking, instead staring at him in confusion. He only snapped out of it when 1x1x1x1 quite rudely snapped his fingers right in front of his face.

“Can you not stare at my baby like that? It’s fucking creepy.” Doombringer averted his vision towards him, the green admin cringing a bit at the dumbfounded expression on the other man's face. Dusekkar just stared at the kid, trying to see if there was something wrong with him to make Doom react the way he is. The conversation had now completely ceased, the whole room going silent besides the red man's stutters and the infants' babbles. All of a sudden, Doombringer exploded.

“TELAMON! THE KID LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE TELAMON! WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE TELAMON?!” The two admins flitched backwards in surprise at the unexpected scream, Shedletsky momentarily stopping his squeals in shock before continuing louder than ever, as if trying to prove that he was noisier. 1x1x1x1 just sat there with his mouth agape at the question while Dusekkar sighed in a quiet understanding. He didn’t react as grandly when he realized the similarities, but he sure felt the same way Doombringer was probably feeling right now.

“Honestly, I was wondering when you would notice.” The mage reached out and rested his hand on the red admin's shoulder. 1x1x1x1’s eyebrows furrowed as he left the state of shock he was in, staring at the two other admins as if awaiting their next moves. Doombringer had a million things he wanted to say and ask, and yet nothing came out of his mouth.

“Doom, you know how it’s weird that Telamon didn’t respawn after he died, right?” The man nodded frantically. “Well, don’t freak out, but me and 1x1x1x1 theorize that Shedletsky is Telamon. He obviously doesn’t remember anything but… just look at him.” Doombringer was definitely freaking out. He turned to stare at Shedletsky again, everything all of a sudden making more sense.

1x1x1x1 looked strangely guilty, opting to glare at his empty plate like it owed him money instead of participating in this conversation. The kid threw the baby bottle at his head. The little shit giggled.

“...How did this happen?” Doombringer was extremely confused. The respawning cycle had never faltered before when it came to the main admins. He himself has died more times than he could count, and yet he always came back without fail. So why now? Why did it not work now? I mean, technically it did, but why this way? The red admin wasn’t sure he would ever know the true answers to those questions, leaving him in an eternity of doubt.

“Well, we’re not really sure. I speculate that it has something to do with 1x1x1x1’s birth. It was never supposed to happen, it was an anomaly in the timeline. No offense.”

“None taken.” The hacker gestured for him to continue.

“Anyways, I think that since it did happen, it may have messed something up, resulting in Telamon reincarnating instead of respawning like normal. Again, this is simply a theory. For all I know this could have happened for a completely different reason. Maybe fate just wanted to have a good laugh.” Doombrigner was speechless, processing the information.

“...Huh.”

Ever so slowly, he stretched his arm towards the baby, keeping an eye on 1x1x1x1 for his reaction. The man’s stare hardened and his fists clenched, but he wasn’t stopping him. Eventually, his hand reached the kid’s head, gently stroking his head wings. The infant paused at the sudden touch before leaning towards it, grabbing onto Doom’s hand and chewing on it. It was so gross, but the amount of euphoria that washed over him prevented him from pulling away. A soft smile appeared on his face, eyes glimmering with fondness.

1x1x1x1 and Dusekkar simply stared. After a while, the green admin huffed and grabbed onto a pancake, angrily spreading the jam and tearing into the soft dessert. The mage chuckled, patting the other man's back and grabbing his own pancake.

Chapter Text

It's been a couple of weeks since Doombringer has found out about Shedletsky, the man stopping by every two to three days much to 1x1x1x1’s displeasure. He still heavily disliked the admin, but Dusekkar had pleaded with him to give the man a chance. He really didn’t want to, one good interaction didn’t erase the thousands of bad ones, but did so anyway, just to please his friend. Most of the time the two admins visited together, the mage and 1x1x1x1 chatting over coffee while the other red man swooned over the baby.

Today was one of the rare days that he was completely alone, Dusekkar having to finish some paperwork and Doombringer being stuck in a meeting, leaving him and the kid alone. He had placed Shedletsky on the fuzzy carpet of the lounge, sitting down on the desk chair to finish up his own documents. Builderman was obviously trying to overwork him, the CEO assigning him fifty papers due in two days. 1x1x1x1 was determined to finish it all in one day just to spite the man, currently hunched over his laptop and typing furiously.

Every once in a while he would stop and pay attention to the infant, making honey water bottles and bringing back some toys for the kid to entertain himself. Strangely enough, they weren’t making that much of a fuss, instead being very pleased with laying on the fluffy carpet. The admin wasn’t complaining. The last thing he needed right now was to comfort a sobbing baby while trying to complete his work.

He sighed in exhaustion and looked out the window, admiring the now organised and beautiful garden. Shedletsky really loved it when he brought him outside, squeaking at every single colourful flower and giggling at the birds and squirrels that often stayed in the trees. Speaking of trees, 1x1x1x1 could see a group of birds staring back at him from one of the nearby hemlocks. Sitting on a long thick branch was a crow, a robin, a great grey owl and also a red bearded vulture. The vulture was sitting nearer to the tree trunk than the other avians who were perched on the far end.

The admin furrowed his eyebrows. Has he seen those birds before? He didn’t have time to think about it because of a sharp pinging noise coming from his laptop, taking his attention away from the animals. It was an email from Builderman himself stating that 1x1x1x1 now had three more documents he had to complete. Great. Awesome. Fan-fucking-tastic.

He continued typing as if his life depended on it when he realized that the room was completely quiet. A little too quiet. Normally the baby would be loudly babbling or at the very least throwing stuff around, but that wasn’t happening. He spun around on his chair, looking at the kid with curiosity. The infant was currently doing what was best described as mini push ups, pushing up on his arms and kicking his legs. It looked kinda funny actually, as if the youngling was trying to swim on land instead of water. The sight forced a laugh out of 1x1x1x1, the baby looking up at him due to the noise.

“What are you doing? Ya working out? Working on your muscles?” The man giggled, standing up from his chair and sitting right in front of the baby. The kids' big bright eyes stared at him with the intensity of a chipmunk, his mouth curving to form a mostly toothless smile. His chest was fully off the floor, being in a position that reminded the admin of a seal. Suddenly, his legs bent, balancing his tiny body on his hands and knees.

1x1x1x1’s grin dropped at the realization of what was happening, quickly returning wider than ever. He stretched his arms forward, encouraging Shedletsky to crawl towards him. Seeing this, a glint of determination appeared in the kids eyes, raising an arm and placing it further. He scuttled forwards a little before tripping on his hands and flopping onto the floor. The man frowned and furrowed his eyebrows in worry, hissing through his teeth as he leaned forward to pick up the baby.

“Shit…” His hands froze midair as the child picked himself up again, going back to the crawling position and trying again. 1x1x1x1 sat back down, waiting patiently for his baby to make his way towards him. He did tumble over a few times, but he always got back up. Eventually, Shedletsky finally reached him, the admin immediately picking him up and hugging tightly, the infant squealing in excitement.

1x1x1x1 just kept bouncing his kid, smiling so wide his cheeks were hurting. They stayed that way for a few minutes, the man sometimes spinning around which made Shedletsky laugh even harder, the moment only being broken by another ping coming from his laptop. The admin walked over there, baby still in his arms, and checked the emails. Four more documents. Also due in two days.

If he got that notification a couple of minutes ago, he would probably groan and sulk. However he was too happy right now to care that much, tucking away the information in the back of his brain and turning his attention back to his baby. His wonderful, smart, amazing baby. He gently placed the kid on the floor again, admiring how he got back up on the floor and started crawling again.

He had read somewhere during one of his many baby research marathons that babies usually start crawling when they're seven or ten months old. Shedletsky was just five months old. This meant that his development was a lot more advanced than it was supposed to be, which filled 1x1x1x1 with a strong sense of pride. He doesn’t know whether it’s because he was a god baby or just because he was built differently, but it didn’t matter either way. His kid was growing, and he couldn’t be happier.

He walked over to the counter where his video camera was, cooing at the way the youngling followed him. Or at least tried to, they were still stumbling all over the place, but they did crawl towards him very slowly. He turned on the camera, facing it towards Shedletsky to capture this moment forever.

“Look at this! Today, Shedletsky started crawling for the first time, early too! Say hi Shed!” The baby did not say hi but instead crawled faster. It was so cute that 1x1x1x1 forgot all about the work he had to complete. Whatever, he will do it tomorrow. This was much more important.

Chapter Text

Dusekkar stared at Shedletsky in wonder as the baby zoomed by, crawling with such speed that he could barely see his little limbs move. 1x1x1x1 had called him that morning, waking him up from his sleep and excitedly rambled about how the kid crawled for the very first time. The news promptly shook off any sense of drowsiness that clung onto him, the pumpkin excusing himself before changing his clothes and opening a server portal directly to the other man's temple.

1x1x1x1 was currently preparing some morning coffee for both of them, Dusekkar opting to take pictures of the child’s new accomplishment with his own phone. It seemed like just yesterday that he was rolling over for the first time, it was genuinely impressive how fast the kid was speedrunning these milestones! The mage crouched down and softly clapped his hands to get the baby’s attention, stretching his arms outwards. The infant stared at him for a few seconds before scuttling over to him, tripping over once on the way there. The admin picked up the baby as soon as he was close enough, little squeals echoing through the room.

Soon enough, the coffee was ready, Dusekkar placing Shedletsky on the floor again so that he could enjoy a nice hot cup of espresso with his friend. The pumpkin had brought some random cookies he had in his kitchen, so at least they had something to eat while they drank and chatted. They were store bought, but still pretty delicious. The morning sun shined through the window, casting light onto the table and brightening up the place. Dusekkar had to squint his eyes a little bit since some of the light was shining directly into his eyes, but whatever.

“So, you said he started crawling yesterday right? How did it happen? You didn't really tell me the full story over the phone.” 1x1x1x1 smiled enthusiastically, taking a sip from his own coffee before responding.

“I’m glad you asked! I was just finishing up some work that Builderman assigned to me-” The hacker’s nose scrunched up slightly when he mentioned the CEO. “- when I noticed that it was a little too quiet. Shedletsky is always making some sort of noise, so that was extremely suspicious. So I look behind me, and there he is on all fours! It was just the cutest little thing Dusek, I captured it on video if you would like to see.”

“I would actually! Could you show me later?”

“Sure. Anyways, have you also gotten some documents talking about a spawn cult?”

“Ugh, don’t get me started. They’re a bunch of idiots, that’s what they are.” Dusekkar was the one who had come up with the idea to make a spawn point, creating the design himself and making sure the coding was perfect. It allowed people who died in experiences to come back to life in a matter of seconds, so as long as they were killed in one of the game servers, they would return good as new. So it filled him with so much disgust and anger that some people had started to worship his creation, treating it like a god instead of what it actually was, a piece of code.

“Huh, I didn’t know you felt so strongly towards them.”

“I do! They are simply unguided and barbaric, some of them even performing goddamn sacrifices to please their ‘god’. We were able to get two of these members to agree to be interviewed and finally snap out of whatever delusion they were in. I mean, one of them is still pretty deep in psychosis, but the other now sees that their so-called ‘religion’ was a hoax. I think their name is, uh, Azur? Ashure? I don’t know, don’t remember. They’re actually a nice young lad, I just hope they can help their friend to see reason too.”

“Well, it seems like you’re doing some good work. You got some people out of a cult, that’s a great thing Dusek.”

“Yeah, I didn’t really want to work with that though. I didn’t want to be involved with their shenanigans, but I supposed it’s been a rewarding experience. Me and that… Ashur dude do gardening together sometimes. They have a really good knowledge of medicinal herbs and all that stuff, so it’s been unexpectedly nice.”

“I’m glad you’re making friends outside of the HQ man. God knows you need it.”

“Hey! I have friends! I have a bunch of friends!”

“Name five.”

“Theres you, Doombringer, Builderman, Clockwork, Sorcu-”

“Five that don’t work in the same place as you.”

“...Umbra and Solstice?”

“Your cats are your best friends?” 1x1x1x1 snorted, nearly spitting out some of his coffee. The mage’s eyebrows twitched with frustration, fuming a bit.

“Hey, for your information, animals make great friends!”

“Sure bud. As long as you’re happy.” They stayed in a comfortable silence, eating cookies and drinking coffee when Dusekkar looked around the room, seemingly searching for something.

“Hey 1x1x1x1?”

“Hm?”

“Wheres the baby?”

“...What?” The green admin whipped his head around at where Shedletsky was last left, only to see no baby in sight. He got up, chair screeching behind him, as he walked forward and did a quick sweep of the room. No kid.

“Shit.”

•••

Dusekkar was walking through the halls, searching every single crevice and corner for any sign of the yellow fledgling. 1x1x1x1 had summoned around twenty minions to help with the man hunt, all of the zombies turning every room inside out. The green man himself was running around yelling the kids name as if Shedletsky was going to respond. The mage knew that babies could crawl fast, but he didn’t think they were this fast. Seriously, they looked away for just a couple of minutes and now had no idea where the child had gone. Even though 1x1x1x1 was a couple of rooms away, the pumpkins ears still rang from the other man's screaming.

“SHEDDY?! WHERE ARE YOU?! COME TO PAPA PLEASE?!” There wasn’t even a babble in response. Dusekkar sighed heavily before going back to the kitchen. He was pretty thirsty, so might as well drink some water before he continued searching. He grabbed a cup from one of the counters and opened the fridge, grabbing a bottle of cold water and pouring some into the cup. He drank it, eyes closing in satisfaction. He was about to leave the room when he suddenly heard a bumping sound from behind him.

The mage spinned around, trying to locate where that noise could have possibly come from, staying still as he tried to listen carefully. He heard it again, realizing that it was coming from a cabinet on the floor with a slightly ajar door. He simply stared at it for a few seconds before making his way to it and crouching down, fully opening the door. Inside was a very smiley Shedletsky, tiny fists grabbing a metal cooking pan and looking at his own reflection.

Dusekkar laughed at the sight, picking up the baby and dragging him away from the cabinet much to his protests. He walked into the halls again, trying to locate 1x1x1x1 this time by following the panicked yelling. He eventually found the man in the baby room looking inside of the wardrobe.

“Hey dude. Guess what?”

“What?!” The green man was obviously very stressed, impatience cracking through his voice.

“I found the baby.”

“REALLY?!” He whipped around so fast the pumpkin could hear an audible crack coming from his neck. As soon as his eyes landed on the kid he sprinted forward, snatching the child from the mage’s hands and squeezing him. A few giggles escaped the baby’s mouth, little arms hugging his dad back.

“He was in the kitchen, in one of the cupboards.”

“Goddamnit really? That means we messed the house up for nothing!”

“Can’t you just get your minions to clean it up for you?”

“True.”

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 woke up. He didn’t remember going to sleep, but most people didn’t. The moonlight shone through his bedroom window, illuminating the alarm clock next to where he was laying. The time was one AM, causing the admin to groan in frustration. He quickly realized the reason for his waking as he tried to swallow, only to realize his throat was as dry as a desert. He reached over on the counter for some water, only to find nothing. That’s strange, he usually kept a glass of water just in case this situation happened. Maybe he forgot. Again, he didn’t remember.

He got up and stretched his arms and back, a creaking noise coming from the bed making him cringe slightly. Every little sound seemed so much louder at night, soft taps becoming shrilling cracks and quiet footsteps becoming booming thuds. He just hoped the racket wouldn’t wake up Shedletsky. He rapidly walked down the halls and towards the kitchen, cursing Telamon for making the temple layout so spread out. Seriously, it took him around three minutes to walk all the way from his bedroom to the kitchen.

He finally arrived at the room, immediately locking in on the fridge and making his way towards it. He grabbed the cold water bottle and opened a cupboard, taking out a big glass cup. He filled it to the brim, spilling it a little when he brought it up to his mouth. At first relief hit him in a calming wave, quickly morphing into confusion. It didn’t taste cold, it was lukewarm at best. That was extremely strange considering it felt cold against his hand, freezing actually. Plus, that water was in the fridge for most of the night.

Ultimately, 1x1x1x1 let it go since he was too tired to think about this, filling the cup a little more so that he can bring it with him in case he gets thirsty again. Walking back to his room, he noticed how the halls looked a lot more ominous than they did a minute ago which put his senses on high alert. He knew it was dumb to get suspicious at an empty hallway that he has walked through multiple times, but he couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong.

And then he heard it. A soft, quiet thump. It was barely noticeable, 1x1x1x1 probably wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t already on edge, but he did. He wasn’t the one who made that sound, and it sounded way too heavy to be the baby. Any other person would have dismissed it as just random people outside or even a late-night auditory hallucination. It was reasonable for someone to think that. But there wasn’t anyone in the server besides him and Shedletsky, it was way too late for any of the other admins to visit, and something about that noise put his body in a state of fight-or-flight.

Goosebumps traveled across his arms and he quietly sprinted towards where he heard it, focusing his ears to capture any other stray noises. He eventually stood at the entrance of a hallway, trying to locate where exactly the sound came from. Unexpectedly, it wasn’t a noise that told him where the ‘intruder’ was residing, but a shadow. A large, impending shadow stretched beyond a wide open door. A door that belonged to the baby room.

1x1x1x1 sprinted over, ready to summon his Daemonshanks and confront this trespasser, just to completely freeze at what he saw. Looming over the crib was a tall figure, black and gold robes completely engulfing their body. Four dark, menacing wings were sprouting from their back, dragging on the floor behind them and leaving stray feathers on the foam carpet. They were facing away from the admin, a patterned hood concealing whatever facial features he might have been able to see. A long, sharp talon was hovering over where the baby must be sleeping, finger twitching almost hesitantly. 1x1x1x1 didn’t need to see their face to know who they were. How could he not?

Telamon. Apparently back from the dead.

He couldn’t breath, making a sort of strangled noise which drew the attention of the winged man.They slowly turned his head, eyes wide and glowing as his mouth stretched into a wide, cruel smile. They looked exactly like the last time the hacker saw him, minus all the blood and wounds. His hair was ever so slightly messy, a large shadow casting over his face. They turned back towards the crib, grin disappearing almost as fast as it appeared.

“1x1x1x1. It has certainly been long.” Their voice thundered throughout the otherwise silent room, snapping the other man out of his fear driven trance. Primal fear, it’s been a long time since he felt that way.

“You’re supposed to be dead.”

“Indeed he is. Stabbed by his own creation. How pathetic of Telamon.” The god’s eyes squinted slightly with disappointment aimed at themselves. Their hand lowered towards the baby, resting on his little chest. The gesture was harmless at best, but still filled 1x1x1x1 with so much dread he thought he might throw up. And yet he couldn’t move. He tried, but it was as if an invisible force was restricting him.

“Is this… thing supposed to be Telamon?” The deity tilted his head to the side, wings shivering a little in repulsion. The green admin didn’t answer, jaw tightly screwed shut. He was more focused on trying to move his legs than give Telamon the satisfaction of an answer. The god’s hand tightened on the baby’s body, barely stirring the kid from his sleep.

“Telamon doesn’t like this. What did you do to him? Telamon is an all powerful admin, not whatever this weak, small thing is. Disgusting.” Their voice was judgmental and accusatory, eyebrows furrowing in hardly controlled rage. At this point, Shedletsky had woken up from his slumber, wide eyes blinking groggily and staring right at his past self. He didn’t realize the danger standing right in front of him, instead raising his tiny arms and squealing at the deity. 1x1x1x1 held his breath.

“Get away from him.” Telamon simply hummed, eyes glaring in revulsion at the squirming infant. Their hand traveled upwards, gently laying on his neck instead of his chest. The child still waved his hands around, smiling happily at the deity.

“I’m serious Telamon get away from him or else i’ll-”

SNAP!

Shedletsky’s babbles stopped. The silence that followed was deafening, only being broken by 1x1x1x1’s shaky breaths. He was too stunned to say anything, watching as Telamon dragged their sharp nails down his baby’s body, red blood seeping into the pillows and through the crib’s bars. His face felt wet, vision going blurry as tears dripped from his eyes. Telamon slowly turned over to him and retreated their hand from inside the crib, fingers caked with red.

“That’s much better, isn’t it?” The deity took a step forward with a deadpan face. “You killed Telamon. Sliced through his heart as if he were just an animal instead of your creator.” Another step. “But something that you don’t seem to understand is that Telamon will always be here, regardless of his death.” Another. “You can’t get rid of him.”

1x1x1x1 was suddenly let go of his invisible shackles as he finally summoned his Daemonshanks and swung them towards the god. His attacks were dodged effortlessly, Telamon taking out his own sword, the Illumina, and slicing the hackers side, his vision too fuzzy to see the strike coming. He fell to the floor and quickly tried to stand up again only to get kicked in the ribs, forcing out a cry from his mouth. He couldn’t understand why he seemed so much weaker now, it was like his reaction time was slowed down and his muscles were impaired.

His gaze fell on the blood stained crib as Telamon raised his sword and plunged it into his chest.

•••

1x1x1x1 shot up from his mattress with a gasp, body covered by a thin sheet of cold sweat as he hyperventilated. He immediately jumped off of his bed and sprinted towards the baby room, ignoring the lingering pain on his chest where the deity had stabbed him, and dashed towards the spotless crib. His pants quickly turned into sighs of relief when he saw his baby, still peacefully asleep and breathing and alive. His legs grew weak from the aftermath of all the adrenaline he had received when he woke up, knees hitting the floor.

It had been months since he had a nightmare like that, the last time being the night he got Shedletsky. All his sobs and heaves ended up waking the infant, small little cries getting louder and louder by the second. 1x1x1x1 got up with the help of a nearby chair, dipping his arms into the crib and picking up the child. He gently bounced him, his blood soaked onesie still vivid in his memory.

Before he knew it he was also softly crying, arms clutching tighter around the baby.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 was still trying to shake off the remnants of that horrible nightmare as he prepared a baby bottle, the kid still sniffling in his high chair. His arms and legs were riddled in goosebumps that would not go away, every little unnatural sound causing him to flinch violently. He knew that Telamon wasn’t here, but that didn’t stop his mind from unconsciously thinking they were. With slightly trembling hands, he poured the honey water mixture into the bottle and shook it a bit, walking over to the baby and picking him up.

The child's hands grabbed the bottle as the hacker cradled him, drinking hungrily. He always seemed to eat as if he hadn’t eaten for thousands of years and were starving, the view putting a small smile on 1x1x1x1’s face before it was dropped a while after. He sat down at the bottom of one of the many staircases that the temple had, eyes drifting over to the ceiling. It had multiple intricate images carved into the beige limestone. Many of them were of different types of birds, the admin seeing canaries, owls and eagles flying around. There were also people, some of them he recognized, some of them he didn’t.

And in the center of it all, was Telamon. His wings opened and curved sinisterly inwards, golden flakes adorning his robe and hood, his eyes staring right back at 1x1x1x1. With an anxious scowl, the man looked back down towards his kid who was still ferociously drinking as if it was his last meal. His hand went to caress the baby’s head, the admin stroking his hair affectionately. He looked at his hand, looked at his curved talons and black fingers, suddenly very subconscious of who they reminded him of. He swallowed thickly, swiftly retracting his hand as if the infant burned him, settling on looking back at the ceiling instead. Telamon was still watching him. Ugh.

After a few minutes the bottle was completely empty, 1x1x1x1 standing up to put the dirty cup in the sink for him to wash later. He didn’t really feel like doing it right now, he didn’t really feel like doing anything right now. And so he entered the library, placing Shedletsky onto the sofa and grabbing a random book from a shelf in an attempt to distract himself. The book was a rather advanced children's book called ‘The Miraculous Journey Of Edward Tulane’, the small summary at the back of the book stating that it was about a porcelain rabbit who got separated from his owner. He hadn’t heard anything about this book before, but the cover art looked nice.

He sat next to the baby who was very busy with chewing on his own foot, getting slobber all over his green onesie. The admin opened the book and started reading. The book smelled kind of old, the pages slightly yellow and crunchy. Whatever, at least the book seemed good judging by the first page. Since it was a children's book he decided to read it out loud so that the kid could hear it, even though he was fifty percent sure he couldn’t understand most of what he was saying. The only words he seemed to react to were his own name, the word ‘lunch’, and Dusekkar's name.

He was on the tenth page when he realized that Shedletsky was moving around quite a lot, the hacker looking up from the book to see what was going on. The infant was trying to rub his hands against his back, more specifically his wings. After staring in confusion for a few seconds, 1x1x1x1 closed the book and paid more attention to what his kid was doing. There was an extremely frustrated expression on his little face, as if he was about to cry.

The admin slowly picked up the child and placed him on his lap, placing his hand on his wings and scratching them gently. Immediately, the fledgling's body untensed, a happy relieved squeal coming out of his mouth. 1x1x1x1 gently grasped the tip of his wings and pulled back in order for the wing to open. The feathers weren’t in a very good state, many of them being broken or flaky. No wonder he was itching his wings, it was dusty! It didn’t really make sense for the admin since he washes the child daily, but it didn’t change the fact that his son's wings were in need of some serious preening.

He furrowed his eyebrows in worry. It had been a long, long time since he’d done this considering the only other avian he knew was dead and that his own wings were gone for years. I mean, there was an avian at the HQ, their name was Taph he thinks, but they spent most of their time following Builderman around like a lost duckling. He’s never even spoken to that guy, much less preened their wings. Although if he concentrates, he thinks he can remember how to do it.

First things first is to remove anything that obviously shouldn’t be there. He picked up Shedletsky and walked into a nearby bathroom, grabbing a few tissues. He picked out any piece of dirt and grime he could find between the kids feathers, dropping them onto the paper. There was quite a lot of it, the man even finding some sand shoved in there. There wasn’t even sand in The Heights, how the fuck did that get there?

The filth wasn’t able to get removed in their daily baths since they were really stuck in there. Most of the feathers were simply fluffy and puffy baby ones, but there were a few that were developed and therefore waterproof. That prevented the water from washing away the dirt. After he was sure he got all the muck out, the man moved on to removing some loose and broken feathers. He did mess up a few times, tugging on normal healthy feathers which Shedletsky politely alerted him through loud yelps, but eventually he was able to get all the defected ones off.

Finally, he lightly rubbed the base of the feathers, removing the flaky casing. By the time he was done, the infant looked ten times lighter, no longer having a troubled expression but instead having a happy one. 1x1x1x1 gathered all the dirty tissues and dumped them into the bin, picking up the child and walking back into the library. Looking at the clock on the wall, he saw that it had been almost two hours since he had started the preening session, a lot longer than he expected.

Well, he should get on with finishing the work assigned to him. And so he made his way to the home office with the baby in hand, the nightmare completely forgotten.

Chapter Text

The day was going perfectly. 1x1x1x1 was able to make Shedletsky’s and his own breakfast without any ounce of stress, the birds singing beautifully outside and the baby not shedding a single tear that morning. The waffles he made tasted as if Gordan Ramsy himself cooked it up, practically melting in his tongue. It was hard to believe that just five months ago he was eating stale cereal with almost expired milk everyday. Anyways, his morning was great. Until it got interrupted by a big, red, horned inconvenience standing in his doorway.

Doombringer had stopped by his temple without Dusekkar by his side, a rare occurrence nowadays. As much as 1x1x1x1 would like to just ignore the persistent knocking and wait until the red admin gave up, he knew that a certain mage would not be happy with him if he did that. And so with a heavy sigh, he walked away from the kitchen and towards the main entrance, opening the door.

The burly man was holding a plastic bag in one hand, the other raised as if he was about to knock again. His eyes widened momentarily as he saw the hacker, who looked like he had just rolled out of bed. He quickly used his free hand to wave enthusiastically at the other man. 1x1x1x1 tired scowl deepened, causing Doombringer's smile to falter slightly before the green admin sidestepped to let him in.

“Good morning 1x1x1x1! I had jus-”

“What? What do you want?”

“...Well, as I was saying, I had just finished my work at the HQ when I realized how long it’s been since I have visited you.”

“We saw each other three days ago.”

“Exactly!” The red man walked past 1x1x1x1 and towards the kitchen, eyes locking on the baby and pacing rapidly towards him. Doom dropped the plastic bag onto the dinner table, the hacker only watching as the other admin picked his child up, bouncing him gently.

“Hey Sheddy! Ya sleep well, hm?” He earned a shrill squeal in response, which seemed to satisfy him. He dropped the infant back on his highchair, grabbing the plastic bag again and turning towards the green man.

“I, uh, got something. For you and the baby.” He stretched out his arm, waiting for 1x1x1x1 to take the bag from him. The other admin slowly reached out his hand and grasped the plastic bag, a soft rusting noise filling in the silence. The man looked inside, only to be confronted with a bunch of colourful liquids. It looked kind of thick, most of the colours being extremely bright and strong, causing him to squint his eyes a bit. He looked back at Doombringer who was currently staring expectantly at him.

“What is this?”

“It’s paint!”

“Okay? Why did you bring it?”

“Well, Shedletsky is at the age where kids have more developed motor skills, so I thought it would be nice to let him paint.”

“I don’t think he knows how to hold a brush, Doom.”

“No I don’t mean that. I mean finger paint!”

“...Huh.” He looked back at the paint, eyebrows furrowing. “Isn’t paint, like, toxic for babies?”

“Yeah, but this isn’t store bought paint. I made it myself, and I didn’t use any toxic materials. So it’s completely safe for the kid. He could eat the entire thing if he wanted to and wouldn’t feel anything worse than maybe a small stomach ache.” 1x1x1x1 was honestly a little taken aback that Doombringer would put it all that effort to make paint from scratch for his child, but rapidly recovered. So what, he could do that too if he wanted!

“Alright. Just let him finish his breakfast and we’ll do this.” The red admins smile widened, the hackers grimace intensifying.

•••

They were currently sitting in the garden. 1x1x1x1 insisted that they went outside since he didn’t really feel like cleaning up any paint stains that might stick to his carpet. There were three large pieces of paper on the floor, one belonging to each of the people there. Doombringer had poured the paint into small bowls, another bowl having water instead. The hacker had brought two brushes for him and the other man considering they were the only ones who actually knew what a brush was.

He pushed one of the bowls forward, one containing blue paint, towards Shedletsky. The baby stopped his squirming in favor of investigating the container in front of him. After a few minutes of inactivity, the red admin dipped one of his fingers into the bowl, demonstrating what the paint was used for. The baby finally understood, shoving his entire hand into the container, his skin colour going from yellow to a greenish blue. 1x1x1x1 assumed that the infant was now going to paint the paper, his expectations being immediately destroyed when the baby rammed his hand into his mouth, eating the paint.

With a chuckle, Doombringer gently grabbed onto Shedletky’s wrist and guided his hand back towards the bowl. After the baby’s fingers were coated in paint once again, he directed his digits onto the paper. The kid squeaked in excitement at the realization that the paper was now also blue, slapping his palms onto the canvas. The green admin smiled fondly, picking up his brush to start colouring as well. Since he was outside, might as well try to paint the flowers, and so that was what he did. He focused on a single spider lily, lightly dipping the brush into the red paint and starting his masterpiece. It must have been five minutes of concentrated painting when he finally looked up at Doombringer, eyebrows furrowing in confusion when he saw that the man was also finger painting.

“...Doom?”

“Yeah?”

“You know that I brought you a brush, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why are you using your fingers?”

“It’s fun! You should try it.”

1x1x1x1 hesitantly dipped his talon into the bowl of red paint, continuing his flower portrait only this time using his finger instead of the brush. It was much more difficult to paint the little details, but he guessed Doombringer was right. This was fun.

And so they spent the next two hours painting on the floor. At some point the green admin had to go back into the house to bring more paper since the three he had originally brought were now entirely soaked in paint. Shedletsky had scooped up a big blob of green paint and threw it at the horned man, causing the hacker to laugh hysterically. Doom didn’t like that one bit, grabbing a fistful of purple paint and chucking it right at 1x1x1x1 face, some getting into his eyes. The once calming activity had erupted into pure chaos, globs of paint flying through the air as the child giggled maniacally.

In the end, all three people were covered in different colours, hair and clothes wet with paint. 1x1x1x1 had finished painting that spider lily and had painted a robin too. Doombringer had painted Shedletsky, his wings completely black instead of brown for some reason. Shedletsky had painted the artistic rendition of gibberish. They all walked back into the temple, paint dripping onto the carpet much to the hackers displeasure.

Chapter Text

Shedletsky is six months old now.

1x1x1x1 could hardly believe that it has been half a year. It seemed like yesterday that he was holding the baby for the first time, hands dripping with blood as he cradled the newborn. He was so fragile, so innocent and new to the world. He could barely do anything without the admins help, couldn’t even hold up his own head due to how weak his neck was. And now look at him. Crawling around so fast 1x1x1x1 had to actually run in order to catch him. The once idle baby was now extremely full of energy, curiously exploring the environment around him.

Today, the hacker had woken up with a great idea. According to Wikipedia, his kid was now old enough to be able to eat solid soft foods. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t thrilled about this, having bought multiple different fruits and other easily mushed foods such as eggs and cheese. The helpful website told him to make sure the infant was hungry enough to be open to new foods but not too hungry since then they would refuse the foods in favor of milk, or in Shedletsky’s case honey water.

He had woken up the child, giving him a half filled bottle instead of a full one and got straight to work. As the baby drank, the admin began to cut up the fruits and mash up the foods. He made sure that they were reduced to a soft puree, no chunks for the kid to choke on. By the time he was halfway through the foods, he realized that maybe he had gotten a little too overexcited and bought too many. Almost all of the bowls were filled with different types of mush, nearly covering the entire counter. The man decided to just pick his favorites and introduce the other unmashed foods later, perhaps tomorrow.

Shedletsky looked up from his now empty bottle, being faced with an army of bowls in front of him. It was clear that the fledgling was still hungry, waving around the bottle and staring at 1x1x1x1 as if asking him for a refill. The hacker simply chuckled and took away the bottle, placing it into the sink and returning with a spoon. He made sure to get one of those rubbery spoons instead of a metal one so as to not hurt the kids still developing gums and teeth.

He sat next to the highchair and scooped up some sweet potato, holding the spoon expectantly in front of the baby’s face. The kid just stared, head wobbling a bit as he leaned in closer to the spoon. And so 1x1x1x1 waited. And waited. And waited some more. The child did nothing, just kept gawking at the spoon like a caveman seeing fire for the first time. The kid literally puts everything in their mouth, from building blocks to flowers, but not actual food? The logic didn’t really make sense, but at the same time this was a baby we’re talking about. They don’t know shit.

The admin decided to demonstrate what to do, leading the spoon into his own mouth instead. The sweet potato tasted, well, sweet. The vegetable was so mushed that he didn’t even need to chew, which was exactly what he wanted. He scooped up another spoonful of the food, holding it up to the baby’s mouth again. The child seemed to finally get it, biting down onto the rubber spoon.

He chewed for a few seconds, eyebrows furrowed in curiosity, before swallowing and letting out a very high pitched squeal of approval. The baby went over to bite the spoon again despite not having any more sweet potato on it when 1x1x1x1 pulled it away. The man scooped up some crushed peas and gave the mush to Shedletsky again. This time however, the kid didn’t like it as much as the sweet potato, opting to spit it out onto the high chair table and crying out in what seemed like disgust.

The hacker chuckled, using a tissue to wipe away the slobber on the infant chin before scooping up a different food. And so they spent most of the morning trying out different foods, some of them good, some of them bad. The foods that the youngling had approved so far were the sweet potatoes, apple sauce, mango and cantaloupe. The unapproved foods were peas, avocado, eggs and kiwi. Although, he ended up liking the avocado when 1x1x1x1 mixed in some honey.

At some point, the man had scooped up some mushed up banana. The moment the baby put it in his mouth, his eyes widened and he grabbed onto the admins hand with an extremely strong grip, practically shoving the spoon into his mouth. 1x1x1x1 was momentarily stunned by the kid's enthusiasm before trying to remove the rubber spoon from the child's mouth, worried that he might choke on it. It was honestly quite a struggle, a struggle that the hacker eventually won.

The baby immediately started to whine, letting out sad little squeals while reaching out for the spoon again. The admin took the hint, scooping up some more bananas for the infant to eat. By the end of the morning, Shedletsky had already eaten all of the mushed bananas, barely even looking at the other bowls of food. 1x1x1x1 wasn’t even sure the kid liked honey water as much as he seemed to like the bananas. Guess he found his new favorite food.

There wasn’t any need to make lunch for the child since they were already full from all of the new solid foods. The green admin knew that he still needed to feed the baby honey water since it was still considered his primary food source, but now he knew which foods to buy for when he did eat solid foods. The man sighed, he was going to have to buy a lot more bananas. Well, before he did anything else he now had to give Shedletsky a bath. The poor infant was absolutely covered in mushed up foods.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 took the baby into the bathroom and started filling the sink. He liked using the sink instead of the tub since it was small and easier to use. If he used the tub the man would either have to get in with the kid or stay hunched over the entire time, which was not very preferable. He would much rather not suffer from back pain again thank you very much. He turned on the tap and put his hand under the running water, making sure it was a good temperature. It was, so he plugged the sink and waited for the water to fill up.

In the meantime, the hacker grabbed some paper towel and started removing the excess food smeared all over his child’s body. Seriously, it looks like Shedletsky went swimming in mushed up fruits and vegetables instead of just eating them like a normal person. And of course he squirmed violently all throughout the cleaning session, 1x1x1x1 having to physically grip his body to prevent him from hurdling onto the floor. Could his kid spend at least five minutes without trying to kill himself or was that too much to ask for?

He was so focused on Shed that he didn’t even notice that the sink was starting to overflow. It was only when his feet started to feel wet was when he realized that something was wrong. He rapidly turned over to the sink to turn off the faucet, forgetting that the baby was leaning on his hand and was now actively falling. In a panic, the hacker flung his hand downwards and clenched his fist, hoping to catch onto something. He did, he was able to catch the infant's leg, his brown hair brushing against the floor. The fucker giggled.

He let out a sigh of relief as the goosebumps on his arms began to fade, still holding him by the leg as he pulled him upwards and into the sink. Shedletsky adjusted his posture into a sitting position, fluff sticking onto his skin now that he was completely soaked. The view reminded 1x1x1x1 of a wet cat in the rain, forcing some cackles from the man. He stopped laughing as soon as the baby splashed him with water, drips falling from his now drenched hair. Now it was the child's turn to snicker, eyes glittering with malicious intent.

The start of the bath time went normal, the youngling waving his arms around from time to time, flooding the bathroom with water. At some point, the green admin scrubbed him with soap, shiny bubbles covering the sink and the space around it. The kid absolutely loved it, squealing with high pitched laughter as he tried to grab onto a bubble, the fragile sphere popping as soon as his tiny fingers touched it. His nose scrunched up in confusion and frustration before trying to grip onto another bubble, only for the same thing to happen. After this cycle repeated five more times, Shedletsky finally let it go with a huff of anger.

Sadly, it was now 1x1x1x1 turn to get attacked by bubbles. All the movement that the baby was doing ended up causing some bubbles to start floating, speeding directly towards the admins face. He barely had any time to react before he was brutally assaulted by the soupy spheres going inside his mouth, eyes and somehow even his nose. He gagged on the disgusting taste, choking and spitting out the foam while being ambushed by even more bubbles. The retching noises caused the baby to start cackling immensely, moving around even more to send more bubbles his way.

After even more struggle and almost slipping on the wet floor, the hacker rubbed his eyes and was finally able to see. He dodged any more bubbles and grabbed onto a small hand towel, rubbing his face clean. Luckily, Shedletsky had spared him from any more attacks, settling for gently splashing around the liquid. After a recovery period of two minutes, the green admin started to scrub the infant, getting the grime off of his skin and off of his feathers.

1x1x1x1 decided that he was clean enough when he could actually see his skin colour and the water was now a shade of purple. Gross. He picked up his kid and wrapped him around a towel, unplugging the sink. He was going to have to dry the bathroom sometime, or maybe he could just wait for everything to evaporate. He chose the latter. He really didn’t feel like breaking his back scrubbing the floors right now.

He cradled the child who was currently trying to wrestle his way out of the towel wrapping around him. He looked like an angry burrito. It was adorable. The hacker brought the squirming infant to his bedroom, opening a cabinet and taking out the hairdryer. He put it on full power and medium heat, placing the baby on the floor and aiming the drying at him. Now Shedletsky looked like he was riding a motorcycle, eyes squinting slightly at the wind. They stayed like that for six minutes before the man turned the dryer off, the youngling puffing up.

The scene was comedic, 1x1x1x1 giggling silently while he looked for a hair brush. It was one that was specifically made for avians, a souvenir from his past. Instead of hard, straight bristles, they were curved and softer, gliding through feathers with ease. He gently brushed the fluffed up quills, calming them down. Once the kid looked more like a baby rather than a cotton ball, he pocketed the brush and carried the child to the baby room. An after lunch nap seemed ideal right now. Plus, it would give him time to complete more work while Shedletsky slept.

He carefully laid the infant down into the crib, stroking his hair in an effort to get him to fall asleep. It didn’t really work, the kid moving around even more. He couldn't get work done until he was sure that the child was fast asleep, so he started to try some techniques that he read online. He took a random book from the library called ‘The Rainbow Fish’ and brought it back to the room. He hoped that the sound of his reading voice would soothe the infant and cause him to fall asleep. At first it seemed to be working, the movement ceasing. But then the more he read, the more frustrated he got with the book, adding in his own angry commentary.

“What do you mean the other fish peer pressured him into giving away his shiny scales?! Those shiny scales belong to him goddammit!” The rageful statements only caused Shedletsky to giggle, squirming around even more. This isn’t working.

Next, he tried rocking the infant. Maybe the movement would coax him into sleeping. He picked him up and started to cradle him gently. This method actually did work, the baby’s babbles getting quieter and quieter. The man also started to hum, hoping that it would provide some comfort. He hummed a song that was buried deep in his brain. He’s pretty sure it was his youngest memory, he must have been around two or three years old.

It was dark, so it must have been nighttime. He didn’t want to go to sleep, throwing a small tantrum instead while his creator tried to get him to settle down. His yelling was making the deity extremely frustrated, trying anything to get the toddler to calm down and finally go to sleep. And so he sang. 1x1x1x1 didn’t remember the words to the song, only the melody, but that moment stuck with him. It was a time without forced sword fighting and days filled with pain. It was back when Telamon actually acted like a parent, at least sometimes.

He looked down at the bundle in his arms, noticing that the kid was asleep. He gently placed him into the crib, smiling fondly at the baby before taking his leave.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 was stuffing a bunch of onesies, baby bottles and toys into a small backpack.

Two days ago, Builderman emailed him about a project that he had assigned the hacker to do. He had to fix a ton of bugs and glitches in a temporarily shut down server, the extent of the damage taking an estimated amount of three whole days to repair. He obviously couldn't take Shedletsky along with him, even though the CEO himself won’t be there a bunch of other admins would be. He did have a couple of minutes of panic after he had received the message, only to get distracted by a ping from his phone.

Dusekkar, the saint of a man, had apparently heard about the project and offered to babysit the infant. Builderman had supposedly bragged to him about ‘Getting rid of 1x1x1x1 for a couple of days’ and the pumpkin decided to help any way he could, starting with taking care of the kid. The green admin couldn’t have been more grateful, his stress levels going from one thousand percent to just thirty in a matter of seconds. He was still worried about how things were going to go, but at least he wasn’t on the brink of exploding anymore.

He really didn’t want to leave the baby. The most he’d ever spend away from him was around twelve hours, much less three goddamn days! Plus, he had to spend those dreadful seventy two hours with people who absolutely hated his guts. This was going to be pure hell.

A couple of hours ago he had checked who exactly were the admins working on this project with him, just to be ready for any insults or scowls headed his way. Every one of his coworkers had a special way to communicate their hatred, so might as well prepare beforehand. Dued1 was one of the more tolerable admins, preferring to stay out of 1x1x1x1’s way and avoid him entirely rather than actively try to make his life more difficult. Sorcus was more verbal, being extremely passive aggressive or just straight up being hurtful whenever he and the hacker spoke with each other, which was almost never. Stickmasterluke was honestly the worst out of those three. It’s not like he hit or insulted 1x1x1x1 in any way, the guy didn’t even talk, but he glared at him with such intensity it genuinely felt like his eyes were burning him.

All in all, those weren’t the worst options in the world. He could have ended up with someone more aggressive, like Scripter or even Builderman himself, so he was pretty grateful for those selections. The satisfying zipping sound coming from the backpack crackled through the room, the hacker grabbing a light blue onesie and dressing the baby up with it. His little fists tugged on his snow white hair, causing him to wince slightly before picking the kid up. He held him up to his face, tiny legs dangling in the air.

“Now, you listen here little mister. Papa will be gone for a few days, but he will return, okay?” 1x1x1x1 paused as if he were waiting for the child to respond. He didn’t, just kept staring at him with those wide, curious eyes. “You’re gonna be staying with uncle Dusek in the meantime, got it? You better be on your best behaviour. That means no tantrums, no covering the furniture in spit, and absolutely no hitting. Understand?” The only thing that came from the fletchlings mouth was a squeak. Good enough for him.

He carried the baby in one arm and used his other to carry the backpack, moving towards the temple entrance. As soon as he left the house, he opened a server portal directly to Dusekkars house. The place was completely different from The Heights. Instead of a bright, golden sun shining down empty and quiet battlegrounds, the server where the mage’s house resided was a lot more green and dark, trees and flowers flooding every inch of his vision. He knocked thrice on the little door, wood creaking under the force of his fist.

1x1x1x1 could hear someone moving inside the house, then a clattering sound, then a very loud ‘Fuck!’. He snickered under his breath, ceasing his laughter when the door swung open. Before him stood a disheveled pumpkin, his robes a bit ripped and his staff flaking ever so slightly. Sitting on the couch behind him was a half-concerned half-amused Doombringer, face stuck between a worried expression and an entertained one. Before the green admin could say anything, Dusekkar took the kid from his grasp and gestured for him to enter the cosy abode.

“So, uh, what the hell happened to you?” The hacker shut the door behind him, a soft clicking noise confirming that it was completely closed.

“Doom was stroking one of my cats when you knocked on the door. It scared them and they lept forward onto my back. Scratched me a bunch. Anyways, hows your day going?” Shedletsky took a hold of the blue admins staff and started peeling off one of the loose layers of wood. 1x1x1x1 gently grabbed his wrist and stopped the infant from destroying his friends giant stick. He also dropped the backpack onto the counter.

“My days going good, but unfortunately I can’t stick around. I gotta run to the HQ now to get teleported to that faulty server before Builderman finds another excuse the scream at me for insubordination or something. Call me if anything goes wrong, okay?” The mage nodded.

The hacker ruffled his kids hair and waved goodbye to the other admins, reopening the door and the server portal but this time directing it to the HQ. He sprinted through it, looking back one last time before the portal closed.

•••

Dusekkar stared at the stone path where 1x1x1x1 once stood, baby babbling in his arms before grabbing onto one of his fingers and biting down on it. His teeth kind of hurt, but it wasn’t unbearable or anything so he just let him chew. He used his staff’s magic to close the door again and turned back, staring at Doombringer who was now petting the same cat. Solstice simply sat there with an innocent glint in their eyes as if they didn’t just attack their owner not even five minutes ago.

“Never thought i’d see the day I was betrayed by one of my own kitties. How cruel. How so very cruel.” Shedletsky squealed.

Chapter Text

It's been around two hours since 1x1x1x1 had left, and things have been going pretty smoothly in Dusekkar's opinion. Shedletsky had already drunk a bottle of honey water and was currently throwing his blocks around, one of them hitting Doombringer’s head with a loud thump. The kids' shrill squeal echoed across the entire house, scaring the cats as they both jumped. It’s been a long time since the animals had seen a baby, the last time being centuries ago. They probably already forgot.

The red admin nursed the area where the block hit and picked the infant up, bouncing him. The mage was busy in the kitchen making his own lunch, spaghetti with meatballs and homemade tomato sauce. Is the baby old enough to eat meatballs? Eh, better not risk it. While he stirred the pot of pasta, he looked back at his cats. The two felines were curiously peeking through the open door and into the living room where the other man and the child were playing and laughing. They were obviously interested in who this intruder was, eyes following the younglings' figure. The pumpkin chuckled softly, hissing through his teeth as a drop of scaling water jumped from the pan and onto his hand.

After some time, Doombringer gently dropped the baby onto the floor and walked into the kitchen to see if his friend needed any help with the food. The cats took the opportunity to zoom out of the room and into the living room, eyeing Shedletsky with caution. The kid was too focused on his toys to notice the two creatures creeping about, shiny eyes locked on his every movement. Solstice was the first to move closer, flinching when the baby eventually noticed them.

Never having seen a cat before, he tilted his head to the right in wonder. The cats did the same, copying his movements. Umbra was right behind the ragdoll, hiding behind the cat's body as his pupils dilated. The infant stretched his arms towards the two animals, offering them a smile. After a few frozen moments of silence, the shorthair slowly walked towards the kid, stopping right in front of his open hands. Shedletsky filled in the empty space, leaning forward and grabbing onto their ears, eliciting an uncomfortable growl from the cat. During that brief interaction, Solstice had inched closer to the two beings, now sitting right next to the baby.

The infant stopped clenching his fists around the other cat's ears and turned his attention over to the ragdoll who was waving around their tail playfully. He patted their head lightly, only for the brown and white cat to grab onto his little hand with their paws, softly biting down. Any other ordinary baby would have screeched in surprise and started crying, but Shed was no ordinary baby. Instead he started giggling, his other hand petting the cat's stomach. They wrestled around on the floor for a bit, Umbra watching from a safe distance in what seemed like embarrassment.

They twitched their still stinging ears and gracefully walked into the kitchen, deciding that rubbing against their owners legs was far more important than entertaining a child. They almost tripped Dusekkar as he was trying to bring the pot of sauce to the dinner table, nearly splashing the red liquid all over his robes. Doom picked the cat up and cradled them in his arms, swinging the already slightly opened door only to witness the tussle that was messing up the living room. The baby was screaming in delight as the cat tapped his face with their padded paws, their nails safely tucked into their skin.

After a little bit of panic and realizing that it wasn’t a real fight, the red admin sighed heavily. He picked up the child who was now entirely covered in cat fur and dragged him to the kitchen, the little baby kicking all the way through. Solstice followed, jumping around as if preparing for another wrestling session. The dining table was already all set, the bowl of spaghetti being next to the bowl of sauce and a large bottle of lemonade towering over both of them. The mage looked up from the food, face slightly falling at the sight of a very disheveled and very dirty baby.

“What the hell happened?”

“Well, your cat decided to go full WWE mode on Shedletsky. They were rolling around on the ground so aggressively for a split second I thought he was getting mauled. Thank god he wasn’t because then we would have to have a very awkward conversation with 1x1x1x1.” Doombringer adjusted his grip so as to not drop the kid on the floor, the ragdoll jumping to lick the top of his head.

“He can’t eat like this! He’ll get fur all over the place! He might even eat it by accident! We gotta give him a bath.”

Both men groaned, abandoning their yummy hot food that would probably be cold by the time they came back and walked over to the bathroom, filling up the sink. After around half an hour of trying to wash the struggling child while making sure the cats didn’t come back and reset their hard work by covering him in fur again, they finally succeeded in scrubbing off all the grime and dressing him in a baby bathrobe. They sighed in relief, ready to go enjoy their food when the blue admin realized he hadn’t made anything for the infant. Whatever, he’ll just mush up some spaghetti.

The adults talked about how work was going while the infant squealed at the cats trying to get his attention by jumping around and rolling on the floor. He ended up really liking the spaghetti, eating the whole thing so fast he finished before the admins. After they finished their lunch, Dusekkar brought the baby to the bathroom again to brush the kids total of two teeth while Doombringer stayed behind in the kitchen to clean everything up. He was getting kind of sick of getting his hands all wrinkled with water and soap, but it is what it is. As he was finishing up the last plate, the pumpkin walked in with Shed in his arms, the kid grabbing and pulling on his antlers. The man didn’t seem to mind though.

The red admin was about to say something when a sharp knock suddenly crackled through the air, startling the two beings. Dusekkar was about to go open the front door when Doom stopped him, putting a hand on his chest.

“Lemme get it. Besides, it looks like you got your hands full.” The mage nodded gratefully, watching as the other man left the kitchen and walked towards the entrance. He grabbed the keys from the counter and unlocked the door, swinging it open. His fairly upbeat mood was abruptly transformed into a gut wrenching dread the moment he saw who was on the other side. The bright orange construction hat, the rumpled grey hoodie, the messed up hair, he recognised all of it instantly. He quickly composed himself though, not wanting to give off any sign of worry, and flashed a smile.

“...Hey Builderman!”

Chapter Text

“...Hey Builderman!”

Dusekkars face paled immediately after hearing those two words, whipping his head upwards and tightening his grip on the child. Why the fuck was he here? The mage quickly looked around the room, looking for a place to hide before running into his own bedroom and accidentally slamming the door shut. The loud noise caused the other two men to flinch, Builderman tilting his head to peek into the house.

“Is everything alright in ther-”

“Everything is perfectly fine! Absolutely peachy! Nothing wrong at all!” A nervous smile crept onto Doombringers face, eyebrows furrowed as he leaned against the doorframe, feining innocence. A bead of sweat dripped down his forehead, the CEO giving him a look of slight confusion before ducking under the other mans arm and walking into the house. The red admins hand trembled as he shut the door, turning over to his friend as he made his way over to him.

“What are you doing here Builder? If it’s anything to do with work i'm sure you and Dusek can chat in the HQ.”

“Im, uh, just here to visit. Me and Dusekkar always meet up sometimes for tea. I didn’t really expect you to be here too, am I interrupting something?”

“Well-”

“Hello Builderman, sorry for the delay. I was busy with something and got carried away!” The mage came practically sprinting into the room, no baby in hand. He too wore an anxious grin, fiddling with his thumbs as he gestured for the hard hatted man to walk into the kitchen. He stood still for a few moments, gaze locked onto the two man as if he were trying to decode something, before blinking in suspicion and walking towards the kitchen. The other admins lingered behind, Doom leaning down to whisper next to the pumpkins ear.

“Where the hell is Shedletsky?”

“He’s on my bed right now. I put a few pillows around him to make sure he doesn’t roll off so don’t worry.”

“He’s a baby Dusek! He can’t be alone for too long! What if he starts crying and-”

“You guys coming?” Even though Buildermans voice was a relatively normal volume, it still seemed to boom through the house. Doombringer stared at Dusekkar for a couple of seconds before making his way to the kitchen, the mage following shortly after. The CEO was already seated in a chair at the dining table, fidgeting with a stray spoon as he looked up at the other two men. There were still traces of confusion in his eyes, but his expression stayed relatively neutral.

“Are you guys sure everything is okay?” They both nodded a little too fast for his taste. He wasn’t stupid, the two other men were acting like children who had accidentally broke their mothers favorite vase and don’t want her to find out, Builderman being the mother in this scenario. Nevertheless, he simply sighed, getting up from his seat and taking out three mugs from a cupboard. The pumpkin headed admin’s shoulders untensed as he floated over to a shelf, taking out some tea bags. Doombringer shuffled uncomfortably before quietly sneaking away and into the mage’s bedroom.

Shedletsky was in the middle of a fortress of pillows, strangely silent yet still squirming around. Did this kid ever run out of energy? The horned man loomed over him and picked him up, a few squeals of protest sending him into a short inaudible panic as he wondered if the noises could be heard in the kitchen. They certainly couldn’t leave the child in this room all by himself. Sure, it would be a good strategy to make sure that Builderman doesn’t find out about him, but something could easily go wrong. He could start wailing, start crawling out of the room, or even get badly hurt and there would be no one there to help him.

The best plan right now was to keep him close enough so that they could help if anything goes wrong but hidden enough that the CEO doesn’t notice him. Would 1x1x1x1 get mad at him if he stuffed the infant in the kitchen pantry? It was a big enough space that the baby doesn’t feel suffocated, and its pretty close too. Yeah, that was a good idea. And so the admin grabbed a couple of pillows and blankets and tip toed back to the kitchen. He peeked in from the corner of the doorway, and as soon as Builderman looked busy with something he silently rushed over to the pantry, gaining a puzzled glare from Dusekkar. He adjusted the pillows and blankets and gently dropped the youngling in the middle of the makeshift nest, handing him his favorite chicken plushie in an attempt to keep him distracted and quiet.

He practically flew out of the pantry and sat down on the dining table, playing around with a fork as if nothing had happened. The CEO eventually turned around and brought three steaming cups of tea over to the table, tongue slightly sticking out of his mouth as he tried to balance all the mugs. The mage was genuinely surprised that he didn’t notice anything, but he certainly wasn’t complaing. He floated over to where everyone was sitting and picked up a cup of tea, blowing on it lightly before taking a sip. It was pomegranate tea, the liquid being sweet but not overly surgery. Perfect.

“So Builderman, i’m glad you have come over to say hi. Was there something on your mind, or were you just passing by?”

“Just passing by. Can’t I visit my friends every once in a while? I miss you Dusek, it seems like your always busy nowadays.” The mage relaxed into his seat, the nervousness slowly seeping away from his body. It was true, he hadn’t really talked to Builder much recently about anything that didn’t involve work, being too occupied with Shedletsky and 1x1x1x1. A little bit of guilt creeped into mind, the man exhaling heavily from his nose.

“I apologize for that, it’s true that I have been withdrawn. Just needed time to breathe and carry on.”

“I was just hoping we could catch up, like what have you been up too?” Builderman flashed him a friendly smile. A genuine smile, not those fake ones he would put on for the paparazzi or his other coworkers. These types of smiles were rare these days, the CEO barely grinning like this ever since Telamon died. It make Dusekkar feel warm inside, Doombringer also feeling himself ease up even though the smile wasn’t aimed at him.

“Well, I’ve been catching up on paperwork I’ve put on hold. I have been slacking off lately, maybe it’s just me getting old.” Builderman laughed at that, stifling his snicker by drinking some of his tea.

“Oh Dusekkar, you’re not THAT old!”

“Yeah, just a couple of millenniums.” Doom grumbled under his breath, causing the hatted man to chuckle again.

“I guess we’re all old here. I mean, we are some of the first admins to ever exis-”

THUMP

A muffled noise came from the pantry. It wasn’t all that loud, and yet it was enough to silence the three men. Builderman turned around in his seat, staring at the door with slight confusion. On the other hand, the two other admins were internally panicking so hard that they thought they might start vibrating. The mage quickly tried to diverge the CEO’s attention, coughing as he cleared his throat.

“Must be one of my cats, they pop up anywhere. No idea how they got there though, they’re mischievous beyond compare!” The hatted admin slowly turned back around towards the table, staring at Dusekkar with wariness.

“Yeah, that make sense. Unless you got a rat problem, do you Dusek?” His lips formed into a smirk at that statement, going back to his previous state of relaxation. Doom also relaxed, quietly sighing as he glanced at the pumpkin who also looked to have calmed down.

“Heavens no! Plus, if there were rats anywhere near, my cats would chase them and make them disappear.” Builderman reached his hand towards the sugar container to grab a couple cubes and drop them into his tea, picking up a spoon to stir the liquid a little. Despite his gruffy appearance, the man was never much of a fan of bitter things, preferring sweet treats as opposed to savory ones. He took another sip of the tea, concluding that it wasn’t good enough and reached for yet another sugar cube. Doombringer snickered.

“If you eat anymore sugar you’ll get diabetes Builder!”

“What can I say? I really hate bitter shit Doom, its like it sucks all the moisture from my mouth. Seriously, I don’t get how Dusek likes these things. It-”

THUMP

Silence filled the air once more.

The CEO got up from his seat, turning his head towards the pantry again. His eyes not only held suspicion, but now held a shine of determination. As he stood up, the chair schreeched under him, the man starting to walk towards the door. Dusekkar stood up after him, flying over to his side and placing a hand on his shoulder. The horned admin just stayed seated, too frozen in fear to do anything.

“My dear friend, come sit again. Don’t fret about my cats, they’re tougher than they’ve ever been.” Builderman simply shook his head ever so slightly and rolled his shoulder, escaping the mage’s tight grip.

“That noise was a little too loud to be cat. Sounds like it was made by something heavier.”

“Seriously, its okay! Theres nothing of interest there. Just empty space, nothing worth a stare.”

“...Why are you being so secretive about this?” Before the pumpkin could say anything else, the CEO shot his hand forward and grabbed onto the handle, swinging the door open. Dusekkar’s nerves suddenly lit on fire as dread bubbled deep into his stomach, the other man blocking his view of the pantry. Doombringer had shut his eyes tight, too nervous to look. Both men prepared for the barrage of questions and yells that would surely be thrown at them any second now.

“Dude, why are there blankets here?”

Huh?

The mage floated closer to the door, staring into the storage room. Sure enough, there was no sign of the baby, the only abnormal thing in the pantry being a bundle of pillows and blankets stuffed into a corner. The red man had by then opened his eyes, blinking in confusion. Where, the fuck, did that kid go? His eyes scanned over every crevice of the small room, not seeing any trace of Shedletsky.

“Well?” Builderman was glaring at Dusekkar again, snapping the mage out of his thoughts.

“...The cats?”

“The cats did this?”

“Yes?” His voice goes a tad bit higher at the ending note, not helping with his attempts at proving that everything was okay and normal. The CEO’s eyes narrowed slightly, mouth opening as if he was about to interrogate him further before being rudely interrupting by a loud buzzing noise coming from his pocket. He rapidly took out his phone, staring at the screen for a while as his expression changed from untrusting to frustration.

“Shit I, I gotta go man. Something happened back at the HQ.” Dusekkar couldn’t help the relief that flooded his body, quickly being replaced by guilt for being happy that the hatted man had to leave.

“Sad to see you go, my friend. Hopefully the next time we hang, it’ll last till the end.” Builderman simply nodded, about to speedwalk out of there when his gaze fell on a brown feather on the floor of the pantry, body freezing momentarily before another beep urged him to leave. His eyes met Doombringers as he also gave him a nod as a goodbye, opening up a server portal and running through. However, as soon as the portal dissapeared, all hell broke loose.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!” The red admin leaped out of his chair and charged into the pantry, checking the shelves for the small baby.

“I DON’T KNOW? DID HE TELEPORT OF SOMETHING?” Dusekkar rapidly started looking around the kitchen, opening cabinets and even checking under the table. They must have been running around like headless chickens and double, triple checking everything for around five minutes before a giggle echoed through the kitchen, pausing the two mens movements as they whipped their heads over to the source of the noise.

Sitting on top of the fridge was Shedletsky, the kid’s legs swinging in the air with childlike glee. In one hand he held a ripped open banana, teeth marks covering the peel, while in the other hand was his chicken plushie. There was a moment where everything seemed to freeze, the only noises coming from the baby himself, before Doombringer sprinted over to the fridge and grabbed onto the kid.

“...How in the everloving hell did he get up there?”

“I don’t know Doom. I don’t know.” The infant snickered.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 was currently outside admiring the night sky view on a lookout tower balcony.

Even though he only arrived at the HQ two minutes late, Builderman still scolded him with such intensity you’d think he had set the building on fire. The fact that he did it in front of many of the other admin didn’t make it much better, embarrassment bubbling deep inside his stomach. After around twenty minutes of pure rageful screaming, the CEO finally let him go, opening a server portal and ordering the four admins to go through them. The entire time the hacker tried to avoid eye contact with his coworkers, the humiliation still burning too strong.

The broken down server was, well, broken. There were multiple flaws in the coding system, causing random buildings to completely break down and laggy objects to fall from the sky. Many objects were glitched into each other, park benches fusing into the ground and cars sinking into the road, spasming around with such speed that when Sorcus touched one he got flung into the air. It was kinda funny, but he was forced to keep a straight face by a bone chilling glare from Stickmasterluke. Even though the green man couldn’t see his face, it was obvious that he was also trying not to laugh, his shoulders twitching ever so slightly.

Their day was spent with them looking over hundreds upon hundreds of lines of codes, rewriting them, and praying that it worked. Sorcus got flung a few more times, accidentally bumping into other spasming cars. By the fourth time it happened, 1x1x1x1 couldn’t hold in his laughter anymore and snickered, earning him a very hard punch to the shoulder which shut him right up. That was certainly gonna bruise. Stickmasterluke focused on fixing up the buggy sky, Dued1 was assigned the task of fixing the cars, using Sorcus as a sacrifice to check if the cars were truly fixed, while 1x1x1x1 was expected to fix everything else, which was a lot. At the end of the day, he was thoroughly exhausted, groaning at the thought of having to repeat everything tomorrow.

The inside of the lookout tower was filled with happy chatter among the other three men, the hacker being excluded like always. The blue admin was trying to balance empty beer bottles on top of each other while Stickmasterluke seemed to be telling a story by using sign language, hands swinging in the air rapidly. Sorcus had already passed out and was sleeping on the floor, a stray blanket wrapped around him like a makeshift sleeping bag. 1x1x1x1 was sitting on a chair on the balcony outside, looking up at the stars. They were still very glitchy, some stars being different colours like red or green, but they were beautiful nonetheless.

God, he missed Shedletsky. It was around eleven PM right now, so the kid was probably fast asleep. Did he miss him too? Or was he too busy having fun with Dusekkar and Doombringer to care? A selfish part of him hoped that the baby missed him just as much as he did, but the more sensible part of him hoped the child was too distracted to do so. The noise of a glass door being slid open snapped him out of his thoughts, head whipping around to see who it was. Dued1 softly walked outside, shutting the door behind him. 1x1x1x1 stood up from his seat, ready to leave the balcony when the other man stopped him.

“It’s fine, you don’t need to leave. Plus, you looked like you needed some company.” The green hacker blinked in surprise before slowly sitting again, looking back to the sky while the admin sat right next to him. They stayed in a comfortable, kinda awkward silence for a few moments, just admiring the scenery in front of them. Judging by the loud snoring noises coming from the inside of the lookout tower, it seems that Stickmasterluke had also fallen asleep. 1x1x1x1 glanced over at the moon, the satellite going from pink to blue to white to pink again at a constant rate.

“...You don’t have to force yourself to sit here with me. I’m fine with being alone.”

“I’m not forcing myself to do anything.” Dued1 offered him a comforting smile. It was a small gesture, and yet it shook the green admin right down to his very core. Despite him being friends with Dusekkar and maybe Doombringer, he still wasn’t really used to being treated well by his coworkers, much less a coworker he barely interacts with. He was too startled to say anything, simply nodding before turning back towards the sky. The sound of a lone cricket and the relaxing whoosh of the cold night wind were the only noises he could hear, muscles untensing ever so slightly.

“You’re not mad at me? About Telamon?” Dued1 stayed still for a few seconds as if he were thinking of a response before settling with a simple shrug.

“I… guess I should. I’m a little bit mad, I think. But I’ve also noticed that you’re not the violent man you once were. You’re kinder now.” 1x1x1x1 has been called a lot of things throughout his life. Evil, bastard, bitch, fucker, asshole, monster, the list goes on. But never once has he been called kind. Until now. Shock caused his entire body to freeze up, mouth agape uselessly. He tried to say something, anything, and yet nothing came out. He eventually gave up on replying, sinking further into the cushioned chair as Dued1 started to talk again.

“The, uh, pizzeria hasn’t been burned down in a while. I’m really glad, god knows that Elliot needs a break from all those hackers and exploiters. I still don’t get why the restaurant is such a popular griefing spot. Maybe the code is easy to manipulate? I don’t know.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I just wanted to start conversation.”

“...Oh. Yeah, I’m pretty sure the coding is kind of outdated. No offense.”

“None taken. I really should do a rewrite of the code, it really is ancient.”

“You should before the hackers somehow turn your pizzeria into a McDonalds.” Dued1 laughed, which caused 1x1x1x1 to smile. Maybe everything would be okay.

Chapter Text

Dusekkar woke up to a very loud meow directly to his ear. It wasn’t the first time he had woken up like this considering his cats loved to be his personal alarm clock, but it was slightly annoying nonetheless. He groggily blinked and laid on his bed for a few more minutes, staring at the ceiling as Umbra sat on his chest and stared at him with those huge yellow eyes. After around six minutes of the admin contemplating whether he should get up or go to sleep again, he stood up from his bed and stretched his arms. Looking up at the clock, he realized that it was seven in the morning, the mage letting out a loud groan.

He walked out of the room, cats following short behind, only for his ears to get immediately assaulted by the loudest snoring known to Robloxia. Doombringer had slept on the couch that night since it was way too late to walk home, even though he could just open up a server portal. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt to have some extra help while taking care of Shedletsky. It’s true that he babysat 1x1x1x1 multiple times in the past by himself, but he wasn’t nearly as energetic as this one.

The mage put his hands over his poor ears, heading straight for the kitchen. He better feed his cats their breakfast or else they might wake up the kid with all their screaming. The animals' ears perked up and their pupils expanded at the sound of plastic rumpling as the pumpkin opened up their cat food sack, pouring the little pellets into two bowls. Both Umbra and Solstice bolted to their respective dishes and started eating so fast Dusekkar wondered how they didn’t choke. Returning to the living room, he once again glanced over to Doombringer's unconscious form, the burly man’s arm dangling from the edge of the couch and touching the cold floor, causing his fingers to twitch a little.

Well, the mage was already awake. Might as well wake up his friend too. With a mischievous grin, Dusekkar quietly made his way to the sleeping man. He leaned in close to his face, noticing that Doom was currently drooling on his pillows, and sulked a bit before opening his mouth.

“YO DOOM ARE YOU SLEEPING RIGHT NOW?” A girly shriek echoed through the house as the red admin got startled awake, the man flailing his arms around in a panic before rolling off of the couch with a heavy thud. The pumpkin fell into hysterical laughter, tears building up in his eyes watching his friend slowly calm down, a big annoyed frown now present in his face. His hair was an absolute mess and his clothes were rumpled, now slightly dusty since he fell onto the floor.

“Not funny Dusek…” His voice was deep and hoarse since he literally just woke up, Dusekkar’s cackles being reduced to mere chuckles as he wiped a tear from his eye.

“I thought it was pretty funn-” A loud cry coming from the guest room suddenly silenced the two men, the mage’s face of amusement transforming into pure horror as he remembered that the baby was still asleep, Doombringer’s screams of alarm most definitely waking the child up. It was now the red admins turn to giggle at his friend's terror, breaking down into uncontrollable snickers when the pumpkin whipped his head towards him. He shot the man an unimpressed look, eyebrows furrowed and sneering at him, which only caused him to laugh even more.

“You-” A giggle. “You still think it’s funny?” Dusekkar's sneer turned into a full on scowl at that statement, summoning his staff to smack the other man on the head. There wasn’t any real anger behind it, the stick simply patting his hair, but Doom put on a dramatic performance nonetheless, gasping theatrically before nursing the area where the mage had struck him.

“No, it’s not funny. Oh god, I totally forgot about Shedletsky!” The pumpkin zoomed out of the living room, leaving the red admin behind, and slammed the guest room door open. As expected, the infant was sobbing on the bed, face red and wet with tears. He walked towards the youngling, cries growing louder with each step, and picked him up. He bounced the baby in an attempt to calm him down, cooing gently at his small scrunched up face. After a few moments, he finally started to relax, sobs dying down into little sniffles.

The mage sighed in relief, leaving the bedroom. By the time he got to the kitchen, Doombringer was already heating up some honey water, a bottle ready in his hands. Dusekkar set the child down on a high chair and went to the fruit bowl, taking out a banana. Shedletsky’s eyes followed him, smiling widely the moment his gaze fell upon the yellow fruit, arms stretching out. The pumpkin silently chuckled at the sight, unpeeling the banana and taking out a plate and a fork to start turning it into mush. 1x1x1x1 had told him in the past that the kid goes crazy for bananas, but he didn’t completely believe it until that day when Builderman came over. Seriously, he literally chewed through the peel. Gross.

Both Doom and Dusekkar finished at the same time, the horned admin taking the bottle and the plate of mush to go feed the baby while the mage started on their own breakfasts. It was overall a very pleasant morning, the adults having a conversation about some new TV shows that got released as the infant finished up their honey water. The red man was busy rambling about how bad the horror movie “Abyss Of Souls” was while the pumpkin listened, eyes drifting towards Shedletsky. The fledgling was looking around the room, as if he was searching for something, and getting increasingly frustrated when he didn’t find anything.

Then, out of the blue, he let out an ear piercing wail, interrupting Doombringer’s chatter and causing the blue admin to flinch. He got up from his seat and quickly made his way towards the baby, picking him up and softly bouncing him like before. It didn’t work, the sobs only growing louder and louder.

“Is he hurt? Uncomfortable maybe?” The burly man also stood up and walked over to where the pumpkin was desperately trying to calm the kid down. Dusekkar rapidly checked for any sign of injury, putting him in a shoulder hold when he expectedly found nothing.

“No, this isn’t an ‘I’m hurt’ type of cry… Its something else.” He tried bouncing him again, thinking of all the possibilities to why he was crying. Is he hungry? No, he just ate. Is it colic? No, again, this was a different cry. Is he tired? No, he just woke up.

“How the fuck can you tell?”

“Trust me, after a while of taking care of babies, you learn to distinguish between different types of cries. I, uh, don’t recognize this one though.” Shedletsky was turning purple with how hard he was sobbing right now. It was genuinely very worrying, the mage walking around the living room in hopes that the movement would calm the infant. Just then, his phone rang on the kitchen table. He gave Doombringer a pleading look, the red man taking the hint and going to answer the device.

“Hello?”

“Oh, hey Doom! Just calling to see how you guys are doing.” As soon as 1x1x1x1’s voice blasted through the speakers, the baby immediately stopped crying, whipping his head around as if looking for the source of the noise. Dusekkar stared in surprise for a few seconds before giggling to himself, bringing the child closer to the phone.

“Good morning 1x1x1x1. Want to say hi to Shedletsky?”

“Oh coarse! Wait, lemme just turn on the video call. Shit, how do you work this damn thing.” After some noises of struggle coming from the other side of the line, the hacker's face popped up on the screen. The infant's eyes widened at seeing his father, the kid letting out a loud squeal of happiness. Both admins smiled at the scene, the other green man's excited chatter filling the air as the baby continued squeaking. Looks like he just missed his dad.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 hung up his phone after around thirty minutes of chatting. It was extremely nice to see Shedletsky again, even if it wasn’t in person. Him and Dued1 spent hours last night just talking about random topics, and to be honest, it was kinda nice. Scratch that, it was amazing. It felt great to just have a normal conversation with someone that wasn’t Dusekkar and Doombringer, it made him feel like he was just any other normal person. They ended up sleeping at around two AM, the hacker sadly waking up at eight due to habit, eyes burning with exhaustion. He tried sleeping again, but he just couldn’t.

Since he couldn’t sleep, he decided to just call the mage and check in on them, which ended up being an excellent idea. Apparently, Shedletsky had been crying right before he called, only calming down once he heard his voice. He knows he probably shouldn’t have felt nice when he heard that, but he did. It was reassuring to know that his kid actually missed him, that meant that the child actually held some level of fondness towards him. He and the other two men chatted for a long time, the only reason he ended up excusing himself is because Sorcus started to wake up. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin Doombringer’s and Dusekkar's reputation by being caught talking to him.

The other admins woke up shortly after, Stickmasterluke rolling off the couch and just laying face down on the floor for a few minutes before getting up and Dued1 practically floating off of the chair he slept on cheerfully as if he just slept for eleven hours. The winged man made everyone some pancakes for breakfast, 1x1x1x1 being forced to dig around in his backpack since he didn’t get any food. He ended up finding a stale granola bar, the ‘meal’ being eaten with some day-old water. Whatever, good enough for him. He has eaten worse before.

After everyone was done with their breakfast, they set off to complete their work, and god was there lots of it. Dued1 set off to fix the rest of the cars, Sorcus groaning in despair as he followed the jolly blue man. The hacker was left alone with Stickmasterluke who gave him an absolutely nasty glare before flying up to the sky to fix up the glitches which caused multicoloured rips to be seen across the heavens. Well, might as well fix up the buildings. They were mostly unanchored, falling apart at the slightest touch, meaning that he had to be really careful unless he wanted to get crushed like a bug. It’s not like he would die, but it would still hurt like a bitch.

He approached what seemed to be a sushi restaurant judging by all the signs displaying the Japanese meal, the place way too destroyed to be recognizable at first glance. As he started anchoring the different objects to place again, he wondered whether Shedletsky would like sushi. Of course he couldn’t eat it right now considering he didn’t even have all of his teeth yet, but what about when he grows up? 1x1x1x1 remembers the last time he ate sushi, being a couple of years ago. At first he didn’t really like it, hated it even, but then he realized that he had to dip the raw fish into a black liquid called soy sauce before eating it. After he did that, it actually tasted very good.

He wasn’t sure if the baby would like it since he seemed to be more of a fan of sweet stuff, but who knows. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t even realize that there was someone behind him, jumping slightly when a hand suddenly gripped his shoulder. He spun around, ready to punch whoever snuck up on him on instinct, only for his fist to be caught by the ruler of Natural Disaster Survival. Stickmasterluke gave him a rather unimpressed look, dropping his fist while staring at him unapprovingly. 1x1x1x1 looked very sheepish, cheeks turning red in embarrassment. He was about to speak when the other man gestured for him to follow him, running off and leaving the restaurant.

He tried catching up with the other man, but he was much faster than him since he used his wings as an extra boost, flapping it gently to gain more speed. He would stop sometimes and turn around, as if annoyed that 1x1x1x1 was running slower than him, before taking off again. What a prick. Eventually, they ended up on top of a building, the hacker having to take the stairs while the other admin just flew up. He slammed the roof door open, stumbling over to where the winged man was standing, and placed his hands on his knees while breathing heavily. After around two minutes of recovery, he finally looked up. Stickmasterluke was simply looking off into the distance, pointing his finger upwards when he noticed that the other man was no longer gasping for air.

1x1x1x1 looked to where his finger was pointing, only to get assaulted by a multitude of different colours. There was a huge rip in the sky, glitched out particles spasming and flashing so brightly it would probably cause a person with epilepsy to seize. Sometimes, a random object would fall from inside the rip and crash down onto the road below, disappearing shortly after being destroyed. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, how didn’t he see this from the ground? The other admin seemed to have read his mind as he started to flail his hands, talking to him in sign language.

“It seems like this bug can only be seen from a high altitude. I didn’t even notice it until I almost flew right into it.” He almost looked embarrassed while telling him that, as if he was embarrassed for having been caught off guard. 1x1x1x1 squinted his eyes before averting his gaze from the multicoloured disaster and facing the other admin instead.

“That looks really bad. Why, uh, did you bring me here though?” Now Stickmasterluke really did look embarrassed, breaking their eye contact and awkwardly turning away.

“I have no idea how to fix this, and Dued1 told me you were really good with code. So I was hoping you would help me?” 1x1x1x1 blinked in surprise before nodding and opening up his admin panel. The winged man was right, the coding was absolutely broken, it looked like it was written by a toddler randomly smacking their hands on a keyboard. After a few moments of assessing the extent of the damage, he started to work, fixing up some lines of code while the other admin helped him. They ended up staying up there for a couple of hours, just discussing what they should do. At some point, they ended up accidentally making the rip bigger, both men having a brief moment of panic before Stickmasterluke deleted the code that caused that problem.

By the end of the day, the rip was no more. The sky was finally completely normal, a sigh of relief escaping his lips. The winged admin sat down on the edge of the building, dangling his legs as he took out a chocolate bar from his pocket. 1x1x1x1 sat down too, staring at the fruits of their labour, that being the absence of the multicoloured glitches. The other man nudged his shoulder to get his attention, pulling out another chocolate bar and handing it over to him. The hacker stared at the bar in bewilderment before taking it, murmuring a quiet thank you and unwrapping the treat. It tasted amazing.

“Dued1 was right. You’re not all that bad.” 1x1x1x1 stared at him, noticing that his gaze was no longer piercing but now much softer, and smiled at him. They both looked up to the sky again and enjoyed their ‘meals’, a distant scream echoing through the quiet server as Sorcus was launched into the heavens again.

Chapter Text

“Do you think Shedletsky has ever seen the outside world before?”

“Huh?”

Doombringer and Dusekkar were watching a movie on the television while the baby was sleeping, taking advantage of one of their rare short breaks. After a few minutes of discussion, they ended up settling on a comedy called ‘Ted’. The premise seemed rather childish for the mage’s taste, but he went with it anyway since the other man looked excited to watch it. They were around forty minutes in, the movie being more entertaining than he thought, when the red admin asked that question. The pumpkin paused the movie, turning towards his friend with a confused expression.

“Pray tell, what do you mean by that?”

“Well, 1x1x1x1 had always kept him in The Heights since he can’t exactly be seen in public with a child, so I’m pretty sure this is Shed’s first time outside of that server. It’s kind of… sad.” Dusekkar stared at his lap for a couple moments, taking in the information. The hacker had never talked about going outside with the child, so what Doombringer said was most likely true. It was quite depressing, the infant being isolated from the outside world due to the risk of Builderman finding out. He probably has never seen another baby other than c00lkidd, and even though he would most likely not remember anything from this age, interaction with other babies is still very important for a six month old as it builds social intelligence.

“Do you think we should take him outside for the first time?” The mage looked up, staring directly into the other man's eyes. Doom seemed to think for a few moments before responding.

“Do you really think it’s a good idea?”

“I mean, why not? Unlike 1x1x1x1, Robloxians aren’t going to lose their shit the moment they see us in public, much less report us to the Roblox HQ. In fact, we might be the most trust-worthy people in their eyes to be with a baby. They wouldn’t suspect anything.”

“Yeah, but it would still be strange to see two admins with a random kid. People will ask questions and want to know who Shedletsky is. They might even post pictures on their social media, and with enough attention, Builderman will definitely catch wind of this. And then he will want to know who the baby is. And then he will find everything out. And then who knows what he will do. Maybe he’ll explode 1x1x1x1 in rage or even worse, send him to the badlands again.” Both men’s expressions quickly turned sour at the mention of that horrid place. They knew that it was essential, but it didn’t exactly mean that it was nice. A high security prison created to house the most dangerous hackers and creatures isn’t exactly going to be designed to be humane.

“True, true… What if we go later during the day then? Say, like five or six PM? Most parents would have already taken their toddlers home, and there won’t be that many people. Plus, I know this nice little park close by that almost nobody goes to, it’s the perfect place for Shedletsky to play around without having a mob of people swarm us.” Doombringer raised his eyebrows, nodding at the suggestion.

“I think that’s a great idea. Let’s just wait for Shed to finish his nap. I don’t think he’ll like the park very much if he’s too cranky and tired to have fun.” Dusekkar quietly chuckled, clicking play on the movie.

•••

It was a quiet afternoon, a not too chilly wind travelling through the trees who ruffled in response. The grass was slightly damp from an early morning rain, no longer soaked since the sun dried up all the excess water. It was a perfect temperature, hot enough that you wouldn’t need a jacket but cold enough that you wouldn’t be sweating buckets. However, just in case, both adults had put a small puffy jacket on Shedletsky. It made him look much bigger than he actually was, the sight being pretty comedic and causing a few laughs when they first dressed him.

Dusekkar was carrying the baby in his arms, ignoring the fact that he was currently chewing on his scarf, and tried to remember where exactly the park was located. Doombringer wasn’t much of a fan of humid weather, complaining the whole time. His frustration was pretty justified considering he had a very hot body temperature which caused the humidity in the air to sort of condense on his skin and leave him looking like a damp cat, but nonetheless his whiny voice was slightly annoying considering the mage was currently trying to think. After what seemed like hours of wandering around and going through trees in the hopes of a shortcut, they finally found the park.

It was just as empty as they had hoped, in fact there was just one family there! A couple was sitting on a nearby bench, watching their daughter happily play in the sand. She looked a little older than Shedletsky, around seven months old judging by her height. She had pretty long brown hair, being almost a carbon copy of her mother who was chatting with who Dusekkar assumes is her husband. The man had short blue hair and deep scars on his arms, the mage recognising him as an almost extinct race of Robloxian called a Guest.

Doombringer had practically stomped into the park as if it was his life goal to make as much noise as possible, attracting the attention of the two lovebirds whose jaws dropped at the sight of them. I mean, it wasn’t everyday that you saw two of the most important and famous admins out in the open, especially at a children’s park. They quickly pretended to go back to their conversation, not wanting to make the two men uncomfortable. Dusekkar was very thankful for that, leading his friend over to a bench and going over to the sand pit where the little girl was playing.

He gently placed Shedletsky down and walked back to the bench, sitting right next to Doom. The two benches were of very close proximity to each other, the other couple occasionally glancing over to the admins before going back to watching their daughter. The girl looked over to the other child in the sand pit, staring at him in curiosity as he tried crawling back to where his caretakers were sitting. She crawled over to him, the child suddenly aware of her presence, and handed him a shovel. He simply gawked at it for a few seconds, snatching the toy from her hands. She picked up another little plastic shovel and started to dig into the sand, Shedletsky doing the same after observing her. Both kids started giggling as they worked together to dig a hole, the toys sometimes clanking against each other.

A few minutes passed, the children busy playing with each other while the adults surveilled them, before one of them had the courage to speak. That person was the blue haired guest.

“So, uh, I didn’t know you two were together. Was this something recent? If so, congratulations.” It took the mage a couple of seconds to register what he had said, choking on his own spit while Doombringer laughed uncontrollably next to him.

“What gives you that impression? What a wild misperception! Me and my coworker have zero romantic connection.”

“Oh, it’s just I kind of assumed because of the kid, and you two together, and, um, I don’t know. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I shouldn’t have said that.” The red admin was still snickering to himself, the other man's wife now giggling as well as both the guest and Dusekkar were pink with embarrassment.

“No, it’s okay, there’s no need to succumb. I can see where that idea must have come.”

“Still, I’m sorry about that. My name is Guest 1337, and this is my wife Daisy. That girl over there is my daughter Charlotte. It’s nice to meet you.” The blue haired man reached out his hand, the pumpkin smiling and shaking it. They spent the rest of the afternoon making friendly small talk, the babies squealing as they played together.

Chapter Text

It was the last day of his three day work trip, and 1x1x1x1 couldn’t be happier.

In a couple of hours, he would be back home with his kid and finally relax after a long time of treacherous and hard labour. The server was almost perfect, cars no longer flinging whatever was unlucky enough to touch them and buildings standing upright instead of crumbling down at the slightest breeze. There were just some more small bugs that needed tweaking for the server to be as good as new, and then they could all go home. The hacker woke up with an overly loud alarm clock, tired groans coming from every corner of the room, except the chair where Dued1 slept. He simply hopped off his chair and stretched his arms upwards, a huge grin on his face.

1x1x1x1 had no idea where he got such whimsy from, especially this early in the morning. Honestly, he was a little jealous. The green man dragged himself off of the floor, staring at the pillows and blankets scattered below him as a makeshift bed. The only places that were good enough to sleep in were the couch and the chair, Stickmasterluke having to sleep on the couch because of his big wings and Dued1 claiming the chair. Sorcus had brought a sleeping bag, which left 1x1x1x1 with nothing but whatever soft material he could find around the watch tower. Whatever, it wasn’t that bad. He could deal with some back pain from laying on the cold hard floor all night.

The winged admin made breakfast for everyone again, everyone else getting their gear ready for work. Instead of pancakes, the man had made waffles instead, which really wasn’t much of a difference since both foods used the same batter. This time, 1x1x1x1 was given some waffles, the hacker being grateful for some actual breakfast and choosing to eat it with some strawberry jam and orange juice that Dued1 had made. Sorcus gave Stickmasterluke a confused glare before turning his attention back to his own food, eyebrows still furrowed.

After finishing their meals and getting dressed for the day, they all took off to their respective areas. Dued1 had to double check every car to make sure they were all good to go, even driving some of them and bumping into as many things as possible to see if they would get flung. Sorcus had to reassess the coding of the floor in case there were any errors that would send Robloxians falling through the ground. Stickmasterluke decided to fly around, checking for any more invisible rips. 1x1x1x1 just decided to go around knocking on the building's walls to see if there were any problems with the anchoring.

At some point, he had simply tapped on one of the pillars from a bank, the large cylinder tipping over and causing a chain reaction, all the pillars falling over like dominoes. It had created a grand amount of noise, attracting the attention from a certain winged admin that was flying nearby. He ended up helping the other green man to fix up the bank, taking off again once everything was in order. 1x1x1x1 was still pretty shook up from the booming sound that had just assaulted his ears, but kept on going. He had a job to do, the hacker trying his best to distract himself by thinking of what he could do once he got back home.

He was obviously going to spend the rest of the day with Shedletsky since he missed him greatly. Maybe he could stop by a toy store and bring back a gift for the baby, he would probably be happy with a toy car. Kids like cars, he thinks. He remembered seeing a lot of children going crazy over something called a Hotwheel as a kid whenever he was allowed to leave The Heights, which was almost never. Was that toy outdated or could he still find them? Oh, and maybe they would go visit the garden again, it’s been some time since they had done that. He could bring back some sunflower seeds to get a new type of plant on the lawn, the baby would definitely like sunflowers. He wondered how the infant would react to seeing a flower bigger than him.

Distracted by his train of thoughts, he turned a sharp corner and jumped into the only admin that he wasn’t on perfect terms yet, Sorcus. The hatted man stumbled a bit before looking up, seemingly about to say sorry until he noticed who exactly he had walked into. His apologetic face quickly morphed into a large scowl, the admin tensing up in annoyance.

“Watch where you’re going, bitch.” Now it was 1x1x1x1 turn to grimace, opening his mouth to say something when Sorcus walked past him, bumping their shoulder into his harshly. Well, guess he couldn’t make friends with everyone. The hacker decided to just try to forget that painful interaction and continue on with his work, looking forward to the end of the day. There were a couple more instances of unanchored objects, instances in which he quickly fixed the problem. After a triple sweep of the entire server, they were finally done. Dued1 messaged Builderman that they were done with fixing up the server, getting a thumbs up emoji in response. Stickmasterluke opened up a server portal, the rest of the admins making their way towards it. While walking, Sorcus accidentally bumped into a stray car, getting flung into the air again. 1x1x1x1 stared to where he disappeared into the horizon, Dued1 pulling up an admin panel.

“...Looks like I missed one.” The hacker cackled.

•••

After retrieving Sorcus from the ocean where he landed, they all walked through the portal and into the Roblox HQ where Builderman was already waiting for them. Judging by the amount of light coming from the windows, 1x1x1x1 thinks it's around five-ish, meaning that Shedletsky was still probably awake. Awesome, that means that they could actually do something together. The admins were greeting the CEO, shaking their hand before going to the break room to get some snacks or just chill. A lot of them had some paperwork they had to finish, so they would most likely stay at the HQ. The green man had already finished all his work, so unless Builderman gives him some right now, which was really likely considering how much the man loved to torture him, he could just go home. He started to make his way towards the exit before being stopped by Dued1 and Stickmasterluke.

“Hey man! You ain’t gonna stay for a bit? We could catch up, we haven't really talked at all before this whole work trip. It would be nice to see what’s going on with you!” The winged man simply nodded at what Dued1 said. 1x1x1x1 smiled at them, exhaling through his nose.

“As much as I would love to, I’ve got some things that I gotta do at home. Maybe some other time? Over coffee?” The two admins seemed to accept that, promising to reach out to arrange a date before waving goodbye and walking away. The hacker turned around to leave again before being once again stopped, this time by Builderman.

“What, you’re just going to leave without saying goodbye? That’s really fucking rude y’know.” 1x1x1x1 sighed. He knew that if he had said goodbye earlier on, he would have been waved off by the CEO or gotten a passive aggressive comment. The guy obviously liked to make his life as difficult as possible, the man’s expression being a mocking smile, eyebrows twitching as if disgusted by simply being in his presence. He didn’t really care whether he got a goodbye or not, he just wanted to delay 1x1x1x1’s leave.

“Goodbye Builder.”

“It’s ‘Builderman’ to you. Nicknames are for friends, and you’re definitely not my friend.”

“...Goodbye Builderman.”

“That’s better. I see you’ve made some friendships on this expedition.” His gaze flickered towards where Dued1 and Stickmasterluke were currently having some tea, chatting amongst themselves. He quickly turned his attention towards 1x1x1x1 again, eyes glaring into his very soul which caused him to shudder a bit. “Since when did you three get so friendly? I bet you manipulated them or something. You really have never changed, have you? Always that violent monster from before.” The insults were really nothing new, but it still hurt. The hacker was about to respond when Builderman just turned back around and walked away, leaving him alone.

After a couple of seconds of just standing there, he scoffed and walked out of the HQ, his previously happy mood now spoiled. Whatever, he should just go find a toy store to buy something for Shedletsky. At the thought of the baby, his humour immediately brightened again, a small grin appearing on his face as he walked into Robloxia city.

He was so focused on his new mission to buy a toy that he didn’t even notice the pair of eyes following his every movement. Builderman stared at him from the glass, nose crinkling in revulsion. There was something up with that guy. He was always so withdrawn and depressed, as he should be, but recently his personality had changed in these past few months. It wasn’t anything huge, but he seemed happier and lighter. The sound of his own name being called snapped him out of his thoughts, Sorcus inviting him over to have a drink with him and Tarabyte. He sighed softly, all thoughts of 1x1x1x1 being tucked to the back of his mind, and walked over to his workers. He’ll just deal with those thoughts later.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 ended up at the same toy store that he first met 007n7. He had stopped by that store many times after that encounter, so many in fact that the previously terrified cashier now waved at him whenever he entered. She was still wary, but at least she wasn’t on the verge of fainting out of fear. They even had some friendly conversation every once in a while as she scanned his items. Her name was Veeronica, she was nineteen and was working to save money for medical college. Apparently she was a self-proclaimed ‘pro’ at skateboarding and was amazing at drawing, accidentally letting slip that she also dabbles in a bit of illegal graffiti.

She also used a bunch of weird slang words that he didn’t know, it made it kinda hard to understand her sometimes. Like, what does ‘sigma’ even mean? Isn’t that a greek letter? Why is she describing herself as a greek letter? It made his head spin just thinking about it, so he decided to simply not think. The girl was currently playing games on her phone while he shopped for a gift for Shedletsky, scanning the aisles with the intensity of a surgeon choosing where they should cut. On one hand, he could play it safe and buy another plushie, he really liked those. But on the other hand, stuffed animals were sort of basic, the kid barely had any other types of toys.

He remembered watching an ad for something called a furby a couple of days ago. It seemed pretty cool, but when he asked Veeronica about it she said that those toys were the devils craft, so he decided against it. He’d rather not give his baby any possessed toys thank you very much. Another choice was that hotwheels thing he mentioned earlier, but after seeing it in person he chose not to buy it since Shedletsky might eat it since it’s so small. He also doesn’t want him to choke to death. Honestly, he might actually just have to buy another plushie, sighing deeply as he made his way towards the large metal basket full of stuffies.

Upon hearing the sigh of frustration, Veeronica looked up from her phone, turning it off and abandoning her game in order to help 1x1x1x1 instead. She waved him over, catching the mans attention once she started flashing bright colours on her screen. He walked over to her, eyes squinting as the assault of colours continued. Once he got close enough, she noticed his annoyance with the lights and promptly turned it off, screen returning to her normal pink.

“H3Y M1STER 1X1X1X1! WH7 THE L0NG F4CE? HAVING TR0UBL3? >﹏>” Her hands were still shaking slightly due to the green admins infamy, but she tried her best to look as neutral as possible. After all, he was a paying customer, a paying customer that she does not want to upset.

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t want to get another plush since my ki-” He paused for a second. “-I, I have so many of them, but none of the other toys look cool enough.” The robot had noticed that he tried to hide the fact that he was buying these things for someone else, but never pushed for more information for many reasons. Firsty, it wasn’t any of her business. Secondly, she didn’t want to risk making him mad and having her head cut off. Thirdly, it was kinda funny watching him stumble on his words. The amount of times he had almost said this mystery persons name before correcting himself was comical. She just guessed that this person was a nephew or someone like that.

“W3LL, WE D1D GET THIS ABSOLUT3L7 G0ATED N3W L3APFR0G TABLET. 1T’S REAL1Y R3ALL7 FUN, N0 CAP! MA7BE YOU W0ULD LIK3 IT? oᴗo” 1x1x1x1 furrowed his eyebrows at the weird words, still not knowing what any of them mean. Last time he checked, tablets were not goats, they were devices. Still, he slightly shook his head. Shedletsky was way too young for any technology or screen time. It might damage his eyes, and he wasn’t in the mood to blind his child.

“Nah, I don’t need that. If I wanted to use a tablet, I would just use a real one.” Veeronica stayed quiet for a few seconds, thinking of what other toy she can offer. She snapped her fingers when she finally got it, excitedly looking up at the man like a happy puppy.

“WH4T AB0UT A L3GO SET? EVEN 1 LIK3 PLA7ING WITH TH0SE 3VERY 0NCE IN A WH1L3. ^▽^” 1x1x1x1 did plan on buying some lego’s later on when his kid was no longer in the ‘put everything in your mouth’ phase, but definitely not right now. He would most likely see those small pieces as an all you can eat buffet rather than a toy.

“Nope, it’s easy to lose the pieces. I don’t want to go on a scavenger hunt every time I drop one of them.” Both people stayed in silence, looking around the store for any cool toys to buy. “Hey, when I was a kid, there was something called a Cabbage Patch Kid. You still got any of those?” At the mention of the extremely ancient doll, Veeronica made a confused face, leaning back in what seemed like either surprise or disgust.

“D3FINITLY NOT! N0 OFF3NCE UNC, BUT TH4T TOY IS SO 0LD! 1T’S CHEUGY, AND W1LL L0WKE7 GIV3 YOU NEGATIV3 AURA P0INTS. °□°” 1x1x1x1 tried to make sense of what he just heard, and judging by the girls expression, it wasn’t anything good. He guessed that she meant that the toy was outdated, and so it was back to brainstorming ideas again. Honestly, his head was kinda hurting from thinking so much. He didn’t really have any knowledge of kids toys to begin with, usually just grabbing whatever looked good enough, but he genuinely wanted this gift to be special and not just another plushie.

Just then, something on the shelfs caught his eye. It was a just a simple cardboard box, but the illustration on the front was the thing that got his attention. It was an small inflatable kiddie pool, so small that it would probably fit in his living room. The box seemed to include both the kiddie pool and a lot of multicoloured plastic balls. It was completely different from any of Shedletsky’s current toys, and definitely didn’t have any dangerous pieces that he could swallow or hurt himself with. He slowly walked up to the box, picking it up. It barely weighed anything, the man turning it around with ease to look at the price. It wasn’t all that expensive either. The perfect gift.

“TH4TS A GOOD CH01CE MIST3R 1X1X1X1. 1T’S PRE3T7 P0PULAR, S0 1’M SUPRISED W3 HAVE 1T IN ST0CK. QᴗQ” The admin ended up grabbing a bunch of other stuff to buy too, such as some small plushies and more building blocks since the ones at home were already damaged. The total came to around 67.89 robux, Veeronica doing a strange hand motion when telling him the price. He had already given up trying to decipher her bizarre language and movements a long time ago, choosing to simply give her the money and bid her goodbye. She waved back, going back to her phone the moment he closed the door. The hacker looked up to the sky, a soft smile appearing on his face. Time to go pick up his baby.

•••

Dusekkar was cradling the child in his arms, feeding him a bottle of honey water while Doombringer was washing the dishes in the kitchen. It was pretty late at night, but the mage wanted to keep Shedletsky awake for as long as possible since 1x1x1x1 said he was coming back tonight. He knew it would be worse if he let the kid sleep and then woke him up later on to see his dad, he would probably be too busy bawling his eyes out to see the green man. A babble caught his attention, the pumpkin looking down to see that the bottle was already finished. He floated over to the kitchen and dropped the empty container into the sink, gaining a glare from the other man who just grunted in frustration and continued washing.

Dusekkar giggled, flying back to the living room to grab a toy to distract Shed from sleeping. However, before he could do anything, a loud knock came from the front entrance, causing the man to stop in his steps. After a few moments of silence, a huge grin spread across his face, the admin speed walking towards the door and going to unlocking it. He knew who that was, but just in case he looked through the peephole. Just as expected, 1x1x1x1 stood there, bouncing on his heels from what seemed to be nervous giddiness.

He swung the door open, the hacker straightening up in surprise before locking his eyes onto the infant. Shedletsky himself seemed to be stunned, freezing up for a couple of seconds before letting out a borderline scream, squealing loudly while stretching his arms outwards and trying to escape from Dusekkars grip. The green admin snatched the infant from his arms, immediately dropped the plastic bag he was holding in favor of squeezing the kid. The baby didn’t seem to mind, hugging 1x1x1x1 back and grabbing the clothes on his back using his little fists. They stayed like that for a long, long time, the man’s eyes watering ever so slightly as the child was openly sobbing, a large smile on both of their faces.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 was currently sitting on his sofa, trying not to kneel over and faint. After he picked his baby up, Dusekkar offered for him to stay over for a little while, just to hang out. He would have accepted if he wasn’t on the verge of passing out, thankfully the mage was understanding. Although, he did chat with the pumpkin for a few minutes, even gaining a new phone number of a guy named Guest 1337. Apparently the mans daughter became friends with Shedletsky and wanted to see if they could schedule a playdate or two in the future. It was nice to know that his child was making friends, something he never had when he was younger. As much as he wanted nothing more than to spend at least a couple of hours playing with his kid, he was honestly exhausted. Three days of non-stop working will do that to a person, even if they are an admin and an all powerful god.

Shedletsky was too busy babbling to pay attention to his fathers fatigue, chewing on one of the brand new plushies. It was a white goat stuffed animal with a green cloak and a pink scarf. It was a rather bizarre looking toy, but Veeronica insisted he buy it because it belonged to some video game she liked. Plus, it was super soft and fluffy, so he was sure the kid would like it. Right now, 1x1x1x1 was staring at the ceiling, eyes red and burning. He felt like his brain was melting, the man dragging his hands down him face. If he was going to stay awake, he had to distract himself somehow.

He slumped over the couch, his head rolling to the side. His gaze fell upon the cardboard box sitting in the corner. It was left unopened, the box slightly bent and crumbled from him lugging it around. He slowly got up from his seat and dragged himself over to where the box was sitting, picking it up with ease. Might as well start preparing the toy for use. He ripped open the packaging, revealing two clear plastic bags inside. One of them was filled with multicoloured plastic balls while the other had the uninflated kiddie pool. Unfortunately, it didn’t come with an air pump to help him inflate said kiddie pool, meaning that he had to do it all on his own.

He ripped open the plastic bag, the tearing sound attraction Shedletsky’s attention. The kid dropped his plushie, instead deciding to crawl towards the edge of the couch to better see what 1x1x1x1 was doing. The rubber kiddie pool was smooth against his fingers, compressed so tightly that the man could probably kill someone with it if he hit them on the back of their head hard enough. With some struggle, he was able to unfold the pool, noticing that it too was multicoloured. Geez, what is it with toy companies choosing the most bright and obnoxious colours for their products? He understood that it was made for kids, but it wouldn’t hurt to make the colours a little more dull.

He rotated the object, trying to find the hole in which he needed to pump air into. After a few seconds of frustrated grumbling, he finally found it. Alright, now all that he has to do is find a way to inflate the pool. He’s pretty sure he has a air pump somewhere in this house. Well, looks like he has to go scavenging. 1x1x1x1 picked up Shedletsky, deciding to go look in his room first. Most of the things he tried to find were usually located at the far back of his closet, so he should go look there first. The kid did complain a bit at being picked up, but quickly relaxed when the man scratched his wings. It was a good way to get the child to settle down since it was a very sensitive area. He remembered when he was younger that Telamon sometimes would abuse that fact and grab him harshly by the wings whenever he misbehaved, it didn’t feel good.

After some looking, he found the air pump inside of a random box. There were also a lot of uninflated balloons and some part poppers, a folded up blue sign right at the bottom of the box. 1x1x1x1 made a mental note of this box just in case he ever decided to throw a party someday, which was very unlikely. He returned to the living room, the baby no longer pliant and squirming around with all his might, almost escaping the admins grasp. He gently placed the infant back on the couch before turning his attention back towards the pool, picking up the hunk of rubber and opening the blow hole.

He never really used an air pump in the past, but it looked kind of obvious what he was supposed to do. He pushed the pump, air rushing into the pool and causing it to slightly enlarge. Oh god, this was going to take a while. And so he spent the next thirty minutes inflating the pool, stopping a few times to take a rest before going back at it. Shedletsky just stared at him the whole time, curiosity being clearly written in his wide brown eyes. When he finally finished, he removed the air pump and quickly closed the blow hole. He wouldn’t want all the air to rush out and undo all his progress now would he.

He goes to open the other plastic bag, the plastic balls raining down into the pool. There were a lot more than he imagined, a layer of multicoloured balls spread all across the bottom. The fledgling tilted his head at the toy, letting out a loud inquisitive babble. 1x1x1x1 smiles fondly, walking over to the baby and picking him up, a shrill squeal escaping the little ones lips. The hacker lightly dropped him into the pool, the elastic material softening the kids fall. He bounced upwards once or twice before stopping, attention immediately going towards the plastic balls. He grabbed onto a red one and stuck it in his mouth, biting down with the ferocity of a small house cat. The man chuckled, removing the toy from the childs mouth. He didn’t know whether it was clean or not, so better not risk it.

He grabbed onto some of the balls, dropping them on top of the infant. Since it was made of soft plastic, it didn’t hurt at all, the kid screaming in delight at the shower of colours. His little arms waved in the air, sometimes hitting a ball outside of the pool. He fell backwards, giggling as he tried to grab onto the airborne balls. He never succeeded, but he never stopped trying. 1x1x1x1 laughed too, smiling widely as he went to stroke the baby’s hair and head wings. They stayed like that for hours, at some point Shedletsky started throwing the balls around the room, chuckling as he watched his father go to pick them up before doing it again.

After so much noise and laughter, the night fell into silence as both 1x1x1x1 and Shedletsky fell asleep on the floor, the baby hugging the mans arm tightly as he quietly snored.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 was expecting to be able to finally rest. He was expecting to be able to finally spend a whole day with his son. He was expecting Builderman to finally leave him alone for at least a day. Of coarse, he got none of those things.

The hacker woke up not with the sounds of birds chirping and his baby babbling, but with the sound of his phone pinging continuously. He groaned, blinking away his exhaustion as he got up from the floor, spine cracking from sleeping on the hard cold surface all night. He dragged himself over to where his mobile was buzzing, the blue light from his screen shining momentarily before going dark and shining again. He picked it up, heart jumping up to his throat when he saw Buildermans name flash on the screen. He clicked on the messages, putting in his password in order to unlock his phone and scrolling down.

The texts ranged from cold, to annoyed, to frustrated, all of them telling him to go back to the HQ. Apparently, he couldn’t even have one day off after a three day work trip since there was just so much work that he needed to do. The CEO was still typing, the three little dots appearing on the bottom of his screen before another message popped up. And another. And another. Honestly, part of him wanted to just throw the phone to the other side of the room and return to where he was sleeping, but he knew he couldn’t do that. Builderman would just get angry with him and maybe even go to the temple to yell at him.

He texted back a simple ‘give me thirty minutes’ and turned off the phone, ignoring the flurry of dings that followed right after. Shedletsky was also awake, blinking groggily as he looked around the room for his father. The moment he saw him, a small tired smile spread across his face, arms already reaching for him. The man picked him up, his expression a mixture of apologetic and disappointment as he let out a worn out sigh. He really wanted to stay home, really wanted to play some more with his kid and make up for all the time lost, but it seemed like the universe really had it out for him.

He obviously couldn’t just drop the child off at Dusekkars house again. It would be impolite considering the mage literally just spent three days taking care of his baby for him. Plus, surely he had his own work to do. He couldn’t ask Doombringer either since the horned man did almost as much as the pumpkin, staying over at his house to help with the babysitting.

…Well, guess he has no choice than to use his Plan C.

•••

Noli was not having a very pleasant morning. 007n7 had dumped that dreadful red demon on him after screaming about some job interview and rushing out the front door, leaving it wide open in his hurry. It was so rude honestly, especially the part of him having to look over that… that… crimson crook. That vermillion villain. That ruby rodent. He turned around, glaring at the baby who was currently chewing on his own fingers, occasionally pulling away with a pained cry before shoving it into his mouth again. Stupid idiot, can’t he connect the dots and see that he’s hurting himself?

He continued to angrily grumble as he mushed up some fruits to feed that greedy goblin. What does 007n7 see in that thing anyways? Noli was definitely much better than that fetus, he was much smarter and more handsome too. He should pay attention to him instead of that scarlet scoundrel since he can actually eat solid foods without it being crushed into a liquidy mass. AND he can actually walk. His nose scrunched up in displeasure, the man carrying the bowl of mushed apples to the table. He picked up a spoon and scooped up some of the food, waving it in front of the baby’s moronic face. After some more seconds of chewing on his hand, the kid finally noticed the food right in front of him, leaning over and eating it.

And then he spat it out.

Directly on Nolis face.

…God, he hates that child.

His frown deeped significantly as he wiped away the glob of apple and saliva that was dripping down his nose and splating onto his hoodie. Great, now his clothes are going to get stained. C00lkidd owes him a new hoodie, he’ll just remind him when hes older and actually has money and a job. He went to the sink to try to wash off the remaining mush stuck to his jacket, that irritating imbicil giggling on the high chair behind him. This kid was going to grow up to be a sadistic criminal, he was sure of it. Just when he got the stain off of his clothes, a sharp knock echoed through the room. He perked up, making his way over to the front door. Was that 007n7? Did he change his mind about the interview and decide to stay home and spend time with him instead? A giddy smile stretched on his face, immediately falling the moment he opened the door and saw who was on the other side.

1x1x1x1 was awkwardly shuffling, Shedletsky babbling away in his arms. The thing that caught Noli by surprise was the admins expression, he looked like a guilty child about to burst into tears and apologize for stealing some candy. However, before he could say anything, he was suddenly handed a yellow baby, its feathers tickling his arms. The green man started to speak really fast too, Noli barely understanding anything due to the fact that he was still busy trying to process everything that was happening.

“Look man I really hate to do this to you but I was called in for work at the HQ and I don’t have any babysitters and I don’t want to call Dusekkar and Doombringer cause they’re probably busy and you guys were the only other people I could think of and I’m sorry for dumping my kid on you without any notice but I don’t really have a choice. Okay? Okay! I’ll pick him up when I finish thank you so much for agreeing I’ll see you later. Bye!” The hacker sprinted away, opening up a server portal and practically flinging himself through it, leaving Noli alone in stunned silence. Quietly, he closed the door and walked over to where c00lkidd was still throwing around apple mush, both infants squealing in excitement the moment they saw each other.

He gently placed the fledgling down on the table, the kid crawling over to where the other red baby was sitting and grabbing onto his horns, slightly pulling. In return, the little demon started petting his head wings, the two children giggling loudly. The purple man simply stared at them, unable to think or move. He could barely manage taking care of one kid, but two? One of them is going to die, thats for sure.

He’s going to need more apple mush.

•••

“Okay, listen here you rascals!” It has been around twenty minutes since the baby’s had finished their foods, now busy rolling on the carpeted floor while slobbering all over the place. At the sound of Noli’s voice, they both ceased their movements and looked over, eyes wide as they paid attention. “There are going to be rules in this household, and you two will follow them diligently, am I understood?” There was a long moment of silence, only being broken by a high pitched ‘guh’ coming from c00lkidd, Shedletsky simply opting to stare into the purple mans soul instead. Good enough for him.

“First rule, there will be absolutely NO screaming in this household. It hurts my ears and is frankly kind of rude. Second rule, NO destroying anything. It’s not good manners to rip up couch pillows just because you feel like it considering I am the one who has to pay for them. I’m looking at you c00lkidd.” The mentioned infant giggled. “Third rule, please do NOT make me change any diapers. Its super gross, and if you need to go then just use the toilet like everyone else. It’s honestly not that difficult. Last but certainly not least, there… uh… um” The hacker put a hand on his chin, thinking for a while. “Actually, that’s it. Follow those three very very simple rules and we will be chill. Capeesh?” An airborne plastic block missed his face by a hair strand, Shedletsky already grabbing another one while the other kid laughed so hard he started coughing.

“Hey! No, stop that! This is my apartment! I demand respect you little-” He let out a girly screech as another block flew directly onto his nose, the retired hacker stumbling backwards only to slip on a stray car toy, tumbling to the ground. Before he could recover, he was suddenly ambushed by a duo of crawling babies, the terrifying fleet armed to the teeth with different brightly coloured plastic toys. He tried to crawl in reverse to safety, but it was too late. They climbed on top of him, smacking him over and over as he screamed in terror. They had overpowered him, taking advantage of his weakened state to try to kill him and take control of the house.

He had to use his last resort. His secret weapon. His wild card.

Becoming the tickle monster.

“Alright, you, ow, you little, ouch, yoU BEASTS HAVE ASKED FOR IT!” He flayed his arms, aiming to capture one of the crawling menaces currently beating him up, grining micheviously as he seized one of them and started to tickle their ribs. The kid turned out to be Shedletsky, the baby shrieking as he dropped his weapons. Startled by the sudden loud shout, c00lkidd started to retreat, abandoning his fellow comrade and attempting to make his escape. Oh hell no, you don’t just attack the great Noli and expect to get away with it! No sir! Holding down the avian with one hand, he reached over and grabbed the demon by the leg, dragging him back kicking and screaming.

Soon, he was holding down two screaming and giggling babies, both kids tearing up with how hard they were laughing. After deciding that they had learned their lesson, he finally let them go, allowing them a break to breathe. They were gasping for air, still chuckling softly from the aftermath of the tickling. Noli found himself smiling too, sighing tiredly before standing up from his crouched down position and returning to the kitchen to get some water. Maybe this whole babysitting thing wasn’t so bad after all.

•••

007n7 was exhausted. He didn’t know it was a group interview, reducing him to a sweaty nervous wreck. It didn’t help that one of the people recognized him, giving him a surprised glare and announcing his retired hacker status to the entire room. Needless to say, he almost fainted right then and there. However, by a stroke of luck, the interviewer looked sort of impressed by his past feats considering he was applying for a coding job. He even said that they would give him a call! The man knew that they say that to every single person, but it still sparked some hope in his heart.

He was about to unlock his door when a flash of light suddenly caught his attention. A server portal had opened right next to his door, giving 007n7 the view of the roblox HQ tower and a very tired 1x1x1x1 walking through it. The portal closed behind him, the admin blinking for a few seconds before noticing the other man staring at him, hand halfway to the lock. He smiled, taking a few steps towards him.

“Hey, I’m really sorry for what happened this morning. I swear I would have never done something like that if I wasn’t desperate, I can make it up to you if you’d like.” 007n7 furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, dropping his hand and turning his body towards the green hacker.

“What are you talking about?”

“Me dropping off Shedletsky. I know that I didn’t even text you beforehand and again, I’m so sorry. I’m sure Noli told you about what happened and I know that it probably came across as very rude.”

“...I wasn’t here this morning. I wasn’t here for the entire day.” They both stared at each other in stunned silence before 007n7 hurriedly fiddled with the key and slammed the door open. Poor Noli must be absolutely drained from having to take care of two hyper active infants all alone! He was already frustrated about having to take care of c00lkidd, but Shedletsky too? He expected to find a very angry purple man on the other side of the door, but instead he found something else entirely. Both kids were wielding little plastic swords, smacking Noli’s legs as he pretended to be what 007n7 thinks is a dragon, growling and cackling while chasing around the two children.

However, the moment he saw both men standing in the doorway, his face turned pale white. He quickly backed away from the babies, forcing on a disgusted face and sprinting over to the entrance. The infants simply followed him, slowly crawling towards him like hamsters.

“007n7, never leave me alone with those monsters ever again! They attacked me, punched me and didn’t even seem guilty about it! They’re disgusting creatures, and I never want to be alone with them again! I absolutely despise them!” He continues on with his speech, the younglings eventually catching up to him and chewing on his legs. 1x1x1x1 snickered.

“Sure man, sure.”

Chapter Text

Dusekkar was currently standing in front of the mirror, deciding between two robes to wear.

Builderman sometimes arranged small hangouts for them to catch up and talk about something that doesn’t involve work. Today, it was located at Builder Brothers Pizzeria at around five PM where they would meet up to have lunch and chat. It was almost time to get there, but the mage was so distracted that morning that now he had to rush to get ready. Doombringer was also in his house, the guy practically lived there at this point, and was doomscrolling through his phone while laying on the couch. Occasionally, he would glance over to where Dusekkar was holding one robe in each hand, putting one of them in front of him before switching to the other, trying to decide which one looked better.

“Doom, could I get your opinion on this? Both of these look great, I seriously can’t choose.” The man looked up from his phone, staring at the mirror for a few seconds before letting out a confused huff.

“Dude, they look the same to me. It’s got the same colours, style, same everything actually." The pumpkin let out a sort of strangled noise, twirling around to face the other admin.

“These are NOT the same! This one is made of silk and is a silver colour while this one is made of cotton and is cadet gray. They're very different robes and I’m frankly worried that you can’t tell the difference. Do I need to take you to an eye doctor?” He looked genuinely worried, head tilting slightly to the side as he stared at his friend. There were a few moments of awkward silence before Doombringer responded.

“...Whatever.” The man simply continued scrolling, watching videos at maximum volume much to Dusekkar's annoyance. After another twenty minutes of staring at the two robes, the mage finally picked the cotton one, the other man letting out a very dramatic sigh of relief. They grabbed everything they needed, their wallets and the pumpkins staff, and opened up a server portal directly to the restaurant. Despite the amount of time spent getting ready, they arrived early, the men already claiming a table near the window. Elliot Builder was working at the cash register today, but honestly, that wasn’t a surprise.

“Good afternoon and welcome to Builder Brothers Pizzeria! What can I get you for today?” The cashier’s cheery voice welcomed them the moment they entered the establishment. His eyes lit up in even more joy when he recognized the two admins, clapping his hands together in happiness. “Oh, it's you two! How have you guys been? It feels like forever since I've seen you guys! Are you just going to take the usual?” The mage smiled at the boy, nodding lightly at his last question.

“I’m also glad to see you my dear Elliot, it’s true. And yes, we’ll have our usual order, and add Builderman's too.” The pizza worker nodded joyfully, clicking the buttons on his register screen before rushing over to the kitchen to complete the order. Dusekkar’s order consisted of a small cheese pizza and a bloxy cola, Doombringer's order was two large sausage pizzas, one small pepperoni, a medium fries and three bloxiades, and Builderman’s order was a medium pepperoni pizza with small fries and a witches brew. It wasn’t a complicated order, so it should be ready in around forty minutes.

The two admins sat down at their table, sitting in silence for a few seconds before the pumpkin started to talk about his cats. Apparently, they somehow had made their way inside of the washing machine and got stuck, letting out loud shrieks that belong in a slasher horror movie. The mage had woken up startled, jumping so hard that they fell off of his bed and rushed into the laundry room, convinced that his cats were getting mauled to death only to see them squished together. With some struggle, he was able to free the felines, returning to his bed to try to get a couple more hours of sleep before the screaming started again. They had returned to the washing machine and had gotten stuck again. He started locking the laundry room after that.

Doombringer added in his own stories, talking about a time he and Telamon had to go investigate a glitch that was disturbing a server. The real problem resided inside of the vents of one of the buildings, and instead of just taking the place apart, removing the bug, and putting it back together, the winged deity had the incredible idea to just crawl in there. ‘It would save time,’ he said, ripping off the vent cover and climbing in. The red admin stayed outside since he was too big to fit in that cramped space anyways, giving Telamon the directions of where to go. At first, things were going smoothly. Despite the gods' large size, he was able to crawl through those metal halls with ease. That is until his wings got tangled in some stray wires. Instead of calmly assessing the situation and untangling himself, he completely panicked, thrashing around and tangling his wings even more. It took thirty minutes of trying to calm him down and shrieks echoing through the vents to get him out, the glitch still unfixed.

They were so busy laughing that they didn’t even notice Builderman’s arrival until he was sitting down across from them, a warm smile on his face. He wasn’t wearing his usual grey jacket and dark blue jeans, instead settling for a more cozy look. He was wearing a blue turtle neck sweater and white cargo pants, although still wearing his iconic orange hard hat. He never left the house without it for some strange reason. He waved hello at Elliot who had run out the kitchen at hearing someone enter, turning his attention towards his friends.

“Hey guys! What’s up? Sorry for being a little late, you know how work is.”

“Hello Builder! We were just talking about stories of the past while waiting for you to show up at last.” Dusekkar turned his head towards the CEO, Doombringer pausing his story to greet him as well.

“Nah dude, it’s fine. You’re only like, what, eight minutes late. It’s good, no need to apologize. Anyways, I was just talking about that one time Telamon got stuck in those vents when trying to fix a bug, remember?” Builderman chuckled, a small glint of grief appearing in his eyes at the mention of his dead companion before quickly masking it with amusement.

“How could I forget! The moment you two returned to the HQ he came crying to me about how his all mighty feathers were now ruined, begging me to preen them and set them straight. He was always quite the drama queen. I remember when-” The man was interrupted by a very jolly worker bringing them their pizzas and sodas, the mage using his magic to take off some of the weight from his arms. He placed the food down on the table, turning to face the CEO with a somewhat guilty expression.

“I am so, so, so sorry for interrupting your story Mr. Builderman. Please continue, and don’t forget to enjoy your food!” He sprinted away before the admin could say anything, leaving them alone again. Doombringer was already devouring his first pizza, tomato sauce dripping from his chin as he took a sip from his bloxiade. Dusekkar took a bite from his own pizza before turning his attention back towards Builderman, gesturing for him to continue the story.

“Well, as I was saying, I remember how he used to barge into my office after fighting in The Heights, demanding that I clean his wings up. He was always so messy that my office would smell like blood for days after, but I didn’t mind. As long as-” He was interrupted again, this time by a sharp ring coming from Dusekkar's phone. It was laying on the table, screen up for all to see. The pumpkin turned on reflex, face paling when 1x1x1x1’s name appeared on the device. The red admin stopped chewing, carefully eyeing the CEO’s reaction as he furrowed his eyebrows.

“1x1x1x1’s calling you. Why is 1x1x1x1 calling you?” His voice was filled with disgust and malice, glaring at the phone as if the caller had murdered his best friend. I mean, in this case he did. The pumpkin quickly snatched his phone and laughed nervously, answering the call and putting the mobile up to his ear.

“Hey Dusek! I’m just calling to ask you if-”

“1x1x1x1, why do you call? Haven’t I told you not to do that at all?” Doombringer is now staring at the mage in confusion, occasionally glancing towards Builderman who seemed to get more satisfied at hearing Dusekkar's harsh tone. There was a moment of silence at the other end of the line before the hacker spoke again.

“Dude, what are you talking about? I don’t remember-”

“You’re disturbing our lunch with Builderman here. So whatever you called me for, say it fast and clear.”

“Oh shit, Builderman’s there?”

“Yes, the task is due Saturday. Are you dumb, or were you just born that way? Why not check the assignment first before disturbing me? This call wasn’t very necessary.” The red admin winced at the insult, the CEO grinning slightly. Dusekkar felt kind of bad for speaking this way to him, but he had to.

“Ouch. Uh, alright, I’ll call later. See ya.”

“Fine, I’ll speak to you later, you see. God, your incompetence baffles me!” He hung up, slamming the phone on the table. Doombringer simply stared at him in bewilderment while Builderman cackled as if he had just heard the funniest joke in the world. The mage stared at his lap, cheeks red with embarrassment. The CEO reached across the table and patted his shoulder, the pumpkin looked upwards.

“Damn Dusek! I didn’t know you had that in you! I’ve never seen you speak so harshly towards him before, I respect you for that.” A wobbly smile appeared on his face, Builderman removing his hand and retreating back to his seat. Unfortunately, his elbow bumped onto his drink in the process, sending it spilling onto the floor.

“Ah, crap. I’m gonna go order another drink. Does anyone want anything?” He stood up from his seat, grabbing a few tissues and dropping them on the floor. Nobody said anything, Doom being too busy ripping into his second pizza while Dusekkar just stared forward, as if deeply thinking of something.

“Ooookay..!” The man walked over to the register, waving over Elliot who was mopping the floor. As soon as he was out of ear shot, the burly man dropped his pizza slice and whipped around to face the other admin, whispering quite loudly.

“Holy fuck dude! That was so close! Did 1x1x1x1 understand what was happening?”

“Yeah, he did. Don’t worry, he’ll call me later.”

“Oh alright. How long do you think we can continue hiding this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well-” He quickly straightened up in his seat when he heard footsteps behind him, Dusekkar doing the same. Builderman strolled in, holding another witches brew in his hand. He sat down, a hint of confusion appearing on his face. He opened the drink, a sharp hiss escaping the can as he brought it closer to his face.

“What were you guys whispering about? Anything I should know?” He started drinking the soda, still eyeing the two other men who now looked infinitely more nervous. The mage’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he started speaking.

“Builder, me and Doombringer have-”

“WE’RE HAVING A BABY!” Builderman spat out his drink, the whole front of his sweater being completely soaked while Dusekkar choked on his own spit. Even Elliot seemed startled, looking up from the cash register in a look of pure horror, rapidly turning back before anyone realized he was listening. Doombringer fiddled with his thumbs, an anxious smile on his face as he processed what he just said. He didn’t mean it, he kinda just panicked. The CEO sputtered a bit more, recovering from the shock of what he just heard. The pumpkin glared at him with surprise, mouth hung agape. The burly admin took a bite of his fries.

“Woah, woah, woah, back up. You guys are together? You guys are having a kid?! Since when?! How didn’t I know this?!” Builderman kept spitting out question after question, the disbelief in his voice extremely evident. Dusekkar’s stare quickly morphed into a glare of anger, burning holes onto Doombringers bucket hat as the man took another sip of his drink, too stupified to say anything. And so it was left for the pumpkin to do damage control.

“Calm down, my dear friend, don’t worry or fret. What Doom meant to say is that a kitten we’ll get.” The CEO sat in silence for a few moments before laughing again, putting a hand above his heart and flinching away when he realized it was wet with soda. Doombringer wasn’t even paying attention anymore, too focused on eating his last pizza to elaborate. The mage had cold sweat dripping down his forehead, an almost overwhelming wave of relief washing over him as he realized that Builderman believed his lie. Well, guess he has to adopt another cat now.

•••

“Bye guys! See you at work!” Builderman walked through a server portal and into his apartment, looking back to see his friends waving back at him before the gateway closed, leaving him the quiet dark. His smile slowly faded from his face, a deep sense of unease and dread building up in his chest. He thought back to their hushed conversations, the way they seemed to communicate about some forbidden topic with their eyes, the way they refused to speak too much about what they did in their free time. He thought about the supposed kitten they were going to adopt, an excuse that Dusekkar clearly just made up on the spot.

He wasn’t stupid. He has known those two for long enough to know what every little gesture meant. They were hiding something. He sighed in exhaustion before flopping onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Was it something to do with him? Did they just not trust him anymore? He remembered a time when they would share all of their secrets, hiding little to no things. He didn’t want to be annoying, he knew that they had the right to have secrets, but it still bothered him. It still hurt.

He turned off his lights, hoping to have some moments of peace in his sleep.

Chapter Text

It had been a couple of days since he had picked up Shedletsky from 007n7’s and Noli’s apartment, and since then he has tried to spend every single minute with the kid. Whether he was working, playing, sleeping or eating, he made sure the baby was always in his line of sight. He knew that it was kind of an overreaction to three days without seeing the child, but he doesn’t care. Maybe it’s separation anxiety, who knows! The infant isn’t complaining, in fact, they seem much happier now that he gets to spend more time with his father. Anyways, everything was going smoothly.

However, one or two days ago, he received a text from that new number that the pumpkin gave him. At first he didn’t recognize the contact, thinking that the message was just spam. But after a few more pings, he got annoyed and checked his phone, only remembering when he got a good look at the name. I mean, there weren’t a lot of guests nowadays. The man was wanting to arrange a playdate, preferably at his house, which wasn’t a problem at all. After getting his guest number ID, he searched the guy up. He was apparently a war hero, taking down multiple armed bacon soldiers with just his bare hands and surviving to tell the tale. 1x1x1x1 respected that, and even though he had never met him, he didn’t seem like a bad person. Plus, his neighborhood seemed safe enough, at least from what the hacker gathered on google.

He looked like a nice man, currently retired from the army to raise his young daughter and live with his wife. He still gains money from the government as compensation for all his years of hard work, donating a lot of it to charity while still having enough to give his family a good life. There was even a statue of him in one of Robloxia's many parks, a way to honour his glory days. 1x1x1x1 ended up chatting with him for a while before agreeing on the playdate, arranging a date and time for him to be there. The blue haired man sent him his address, adding a few emojis on the last message. ‘See you there! I think Charlotte will be very happy to see her friend again,’ popped up on his screen before the guest went offline, leaving the admin alone. As much as he was looking forward to the event, there was just one problem.

He’s, like, ninety percent sure that the man doesn’t know who he is.

I mean, the average Robloxian wouldn’t let him near their kid considering they still saw him as a murderous killing machine. The fact that Guest 1337 never even mentioned his status by text gave him more than enough evidence to assume that neither Dusekkar or Doombringer told the man who he was, meaning that he would most likely have a heart attack the moment he opened the door to greet him. Or maybe he would report him to the HQ, but for some reason his gut told him otherwise. He should probably text him about it, just to warn him. It felt rude to do it over the phone though. If he was going to tell him, better be in person, much more personal.

On the other hand, maybe he did know who he was and just didn’t care. He would guess that the man wasn’t one to judge others, especially giving his history. Back in the day, people used to assume lots of horrible stuff about guests, thinking that they were terrorists or murderers who were trying to escape the government by using their hard to find account status. Honestly, the best way to find out whether he knew him or not is to call the man who met the guy. Dusekkar. He took out his mobile, pressing on the mage’s profile and putting the phone up to his ear. The device ringed thrice before the pumpkin answered.

“Hey Dusek! I’m just calling to ask you if-”

“1x1x1x1, why do you call? Haven’t I told you not to do that at all?” The green man stayed silent for a few moments, confusion as well as a hint of dread settling in his stomach. Why was Dusekkar speaking to him like this?

“Dude, what are you talking about? I don’t remember-”

“You’re disturbing our lunch with Builderman here. So whatever you called me for, say it fast and clear.” Ah, that's why.

“Oh shit, Builderman’s there?”

“Yes, the task is due Saturday. Are you dumb, or were you just born that way? Why not check the assignment first before disturbing me? This call wasn’t very necessary.” The pumpkin was really getting into character. Even though he knew it wasn’t real and that he was just pretending to please Builderman, it still hurt a bit. It reminded him of a time before Shedletsky existed, when Dusekkar still treated him coldly like everyone else. He quickly shook those thoughts out his head, opting to answer the man instead.

“Ouch. Uh, alright, I’ll call later. See ya.”

“Fine, I’ll speak to you later, you see. God, your incompetence baffles me!” The mage hung up on him before he had the chance to say anything else. Alright, at least they were going to talk later. Unfortunately, he did not know when ‘later’ would be, and he really needed to talk to Dusekkar since the playdate was scheduled to begin in around twenty minutes. Guess all he could do was hope that his assumptions of Guest 1337 were correct and that the man wasn’t going to punch him in the face the moment he saw him. A couple of high-pitched babbles caught his attention, the hacker turning around to see Shedletsky tearing into one of his pillows, a habit that he most likely learned from c00lkidd.

He sighed, removing the slobber soaked pillow from the infant’s mouth and throwing it on the floor, making a mental note to wash it in the laundry room later. Well, time to get the kid ready for his playdate.

•••

1x1x1x1 knocked on a sturdy wooden door, sweat sticking to the back of his neck.

It was pretty difficult to sneak around the neighborhood with a loud squirming baby without anyone noticing him, the admin having to take many shortcuts through bushes and trees. He did look a little disheveled, but not enough that he looked homeless. He was almost spotted by some teenagers riding bikes once, the kids stopping their journey in favor of staring at where he was hiding, but soon got bored and rode off again. After accidentally ending up at the wrong house and being chased away by a small chihuahua in a pink tutu, he finally made it to Guest 1337’s house. It was your stereotypical suburban house with a nice lawn with a swing set and a triangular roof. It looked quite pretty actually.

There were some noises coming from inside the house, mostly just footsteps and muffled voices, before the door swung open, revealing a cheery looking man. The smile on his face slightly falters the moment he sees him, eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment. The hacker braces himself for the door to slam on his face, blinking in confusion when that doesn’t happen. Instead, the guest simply averted his gaze to Shedletsky, and then back at him.

“Are… you his dad?” The admin nodded. Guest 1337 suddenly smiled again, albeit a little more nervously, and side-stepped to let him in. 1x1x1x1 stood in shocked silence for a few moments before walking in the house, the door softly clicking behind him. The place was as nice as its exterior, a soft lush carpet covering the floor and cozy decorations sitting on shelves. There was the occasional toy scattered on the floor here and there, completely normal for a house with a baby. There were lots of picture frames hanging from the walls, ranging from the blue haired man’s wedding to the day his kid was born. The walls were a perfect colour of light blue, not too colourful but not too dull either. Overall, the entire interior was pleasant to look at.

“Well, forgive me for saying this but, I certainly wasn’t expecting you to be Shedletsky’s father.” 1x1x1x1 nodded, giving the veteran a hum in response.

“Yeah, I imagine most people would think the same.” He stood still, as if he was a child lost in the supermarket, only moving when Guest 1337 gestured for him to follow him. The man led him upstairs, opening a door to reveal his daughter's room. It was… well… just as you’d expect. The place was practically covered in pink, having pink wallpaper, a pink bed, a pink carpet and pink everything. The girl was sitting on the floor, playing with a plastic glittery fairy wand when the two men entering caught her attention. The two babies spotted each other at the same time, excited squealing echoing through the house. 1x1x1x1 gently placed his infant on the floor, the kid crawling over rapidly towards his friend.

They both watched as Charlotte gave Shedletsky another sparkly wand, a plastic stick that he used to repeatedly hit the floor, causing the girl to laugh. The hacker felt himself physically relax. He sort of expected the soldier to have a stronger reaction, but so far the man has been nothing but kind to him, as kind as you would be to a stranger at least. It felt almost unnatural for a normal Robloxian to be so accepting of him so soon, they usually just scream and run, which honestly is a pretty justified reaction.

“So, uh,” The guest cleared his throat. “How old is your kid?”

“Oh, he’s around seven months now. Almost eight.”

“Aw, my daughter is-”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Guest 1337 stopped talking, staring at 1x1x1x1 with a confused expression, looking down anxiously as if he was expecting him to ask that question. The hacker simply stared back, eye twitching ever so slightly due to nervousness. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the blue haired man spoke up.

“I don’t see why I shouldn’t.” The admin couldn’t help but scoff a bit. Of course he does, unless he has lived under a rock all his life he must have surely heard all those rumours and tales of his violent tendencies. But before he had the chance to voice his thoughts, he was interrupted by the guest.

“I know what you’re about to say, and yes, I have heard all about your past and how you even murdered your own father.” For some reason, 1x1x1x1’s face flushed in embarrassment, as if he was ashamed of being called out. He wasn’t ashamed, the asshole deserved to die. That was one of the few things from his past that he did not regret. It didn’t stop the fact that his blood rushed to his cheeks, the hacker facing away from the other man's gaze. The veteran didn’t seem to notice, just kept talking. “I have a friend who did the same thing, y’know. His name is Jez, we fought against each other in the war.”

“He's a bacon?” Guest 1337 nodded.

“Yeah. I mean, he didn’t actively kill his dad. The man was injured on the battlefield, and Jez just refused to help him. He ended up bleeding out and dying. I don’t blame him, his father was a terrible person. Killed his mother, y’know. But he didn’t always know that, he actually believed his mom was killed by guests, and because of that he was extremely hateful towards us. Killed a bunch of us in the war. He knows the truth now, and regrets his actions. He actually helped us fight his father, and we won.” Guest 1337 smiled fondly, however it did seem sort of melancholy. “I know that you have done a lot of bad things back then, but that doesn’t define who you are now.”

“But what about Tela-”

“I’ve never met Telamon. For all I know, he could have been a very horrible person behind the curtains. And about all those rumours, people used to say the same thing about us guests. About how we were filthy murderers and such. It would be hypocritical for me to treat you badly because of rumours when my people were so terribly hurt because of them.” 1x1x1x1 was speechless, opting to just stare at the other man in quiet admiration. It was silent, the only noises coming from the two babies who were now smacking each other with the fairy wands. The blue haired man sighed, patting the hackers back.

“I’m going to go get some coffee. Mind joining me?” The admin nodded, following Guest 1337 out the door right after they picked up their children. A small smile appeared on his face. Coffee sounded really good right now.

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 found himself back at that same toy store as always. Veeronica was already yapping in his ear about her day at med school, frustrated about an exam she had to study for but happy that she made a new friend. His name was Noob, and he worked at a cafe close to her college campus. They liked playing games in competitive servers, quickly becoming close companions due to their shared interests. Honestly, the hacker wasn’t really listening, tuning out most of what she was saying while scanning the aisles. He was here for one thing and one thing only.

This morning, he was simply watching television like any other tired adult on the weekend. Shedletsky was busy sleeping next to him, hugging onto his chicken plushie for dear life. Seriously, if that thing was a real animal, it would be dead due to the amount of broken bones the kid gave him on a daily basis. The admin was wearing a comfortable white robe, holding the remote on one hand and a very large mug of coffee on the other. He was watching a live obby tournament, where professional players competed in many different obstacle courses, aiming to reach first place, when he got an ad for a children's toy. It was like lego, but for babies, being jumbo sized as for the kids to not choke on them. It was something called duplo, being big plastic blocks that infants could stack to make towers and such.

At first, it didn’t really catch his attention. He was more annoyed that his show got interrupted. But after some time, the toy would not leave his mind. Something that he was always excited about was being able to introduce lego to his kid when he grew up since it seemed like a very fun and interesting toy, so why should he wait all that time when he could just buy duplo and do it now? I mean, the bricks were pretty large, so it’s not like Shedletsky could choke to death on them. The thought stayed with him all throughout the day, the man waiting until night time to put his baby to sleep and visit his usual toy store. Like always, Veeronica was there, playing on her Nintendo switch instead of her phone. The girl was now numb to his presence, not showing even an ounce of fear as she waved at him. He didn’t mind, it was kind of annoying to deal with her stuttering and shaking whenever he asked her a simple question in the past.

“AND N00B H4S TH1S AW3SOME FRI3ND WH0 P4RT1CIPAT3S IN G4MES W1TH HIM. H3R N4ME IS GU3ST 666 AND D3SP1TE ME NEV3R MEET1NG HIM 1 C4N TELL TH4T TH3Y ARE C00L BECAUS3 HE H4S AMAZ1NG DR1P.” The robot spoke fondly as she tried to capture a pokemon in her game, tongue slightly sticking out her mouth. He nodded again, more focused on finding a suitable duplo set. There were many different options, most of them with bright colours that hurt his eyes or that don’t clash together very well. It couldn’t be that hard to make a children's toy that was visually appealing, right? After a few more minutes of searching, he finally found a tolerable looking set.

“...AND BY TH3 W4Y N00B T4LKS AB0UT H1M, 1’D S4Y THAT TH3Y HAV3 4 CRUSH 0N H3R! 1 3VEN G4VE H1M S0ME TIPS 0N HOW T0 R1ZZ TH3M UP, C4USE Y0U KNOW 1’M TH3 M0ST GO4TED FR1END EV3R.” The hacker picked up the box, flipping it over to see the price. It was a zoo set with a bunch of small plastic animals and lots of yellow and green blocks. It didn’t look all that complicated, his child even being able to play with the figures outside of the duplo set. Satisfied with his choice, he put it inside the little red basket that he was carrying, taking advantage of the fact that he was inside of a toy store to buy some more things. A couple more plushies, non-toxic paint and some plastic shovels since Shedletsky liked to dig into the dirt whenever they went outside into the garden. He gave all of these objects to Veeronica, who was still talking about her day, and paid the girl, giving her a fifty robux tip and running off before she could say anything.

Opening a server portal, he walked inside of his house, a green minion holding an awake baby who was drinking honey water from a bottle sprinting over to him the moment he stepped foot into the temple. The lackey swiftly handed him the infant, a sigh of relief escaping its non-existent lips as it disintegrated into the ground. Guess the kid didn’t stay asleep, probably screaming and crying until he was given food. Well, since they were awake, they might as well play with the duplo. He set the child down onto the floor, half the bottle already gone, as he opened up the cardboard box with ease. The blocks were inside big plastic bags with jagged edges that were somehow almost impossible to tear through. The hacker ended up having to use his sharp claws to do that instead, eyebrows furrowed as he wondered why these bags were so hard to open.

There was also a small little booklet inside the box, giving him instructions as to how to build the zoo. At least he won’t be getting into this blind. The steps were extremely easy to follow, the admin understanding everything perfectly as he flipped through the pages. By the time he had everything set out, Shedletsky had already finished his food, now looking curiously at the colourful objects that laid before him. He crawled closed, picking one up and throwing it at 1x1x1x1 who caught it mid-air. He set the block down again and opened the manuel, turning it around to show the first step to the child who was now chewing on another block.

“Okay Shed, first we need to get two green blocks and put them together like this. Can you give me two green blocks?” The baby looked up, staring intensely at the book. “Do you remember what green looks like? Can you point to the green block?” The fledgling whipped his head around, looking at the blocks before finding what he was looking for and pointing at a yellow one. The admin sighed and gently grabbed the infant's hand, redirecting his finger towards a green block. The kid giggled a bit, reaching out and grabbing onto the toy.

“Very good! Now, can you arrange two green blocks like thi-” The plastic cube hit him right on the center of his forehead, causing the man to yelp loudly. Shedletsky only laughed harder, already reaching for another block to chuck at the hacker. He actually succeeded in doing so, this time throwing two blocks at the same time instead of one. 1x1x1x1 was able to catch one, but the other hit him in the eye, the poor admin being too caught off guard to close it in time. This resulted in around five minutes of lying on the floor, nursing his injured eye while his kid crawled on his back and bit him on the shoulder, chewing that same area the entire time. After recovering from his devastating wound, he tried once more to get his baby to listen, failing miserably as they just picked up random blocks and started building a tower.

Well, if you can’t beat them, join them.

And so 1x1x1x1 spent the rest of the night building the tallest tower of duplo the world had ever seen, picking up Shedletsky so that he could reach higher. They used every single block, even using the figures of animals and people to try to make the tower taller. The tower fell over at some point, emitting a loud clanking sound when it hit the floor that took the kid by surprise and sent them into a crying fit. Luckily, he calmed down rather quickly, stretching his arms towards the fallen blocks, determined to try once more. After another ten minutes of trying to stack all the blocks in a way that they stayed balanced, they finally finished their tower, the build being so big it was taller than 1x1x1x1 himself. He smiled as he looked at his hard work, the kid giggling in his arms before going quiet. The hacker looked down.

“This isn’t a zoo, but…” His voice faltered as he realized that the baby was now fast asleep, snoring softly and he snuggled closer to his chest. He exhaled through his nose, quietly going back to the baby room to lay his child down onto the crib. He’ll just keep the tower up for now.

Chapter Text

Dusekkar was humming softly to himself, submitting assignments and flipping through documents in record speed. As usual, there was tons and tons of work to do, hackers being strangely active and more servers going down for unknown reasons. It’s been a while since he had left his house and actually worked at the HQ, the mage doing most of his tasks at his home office. Entering the room after so much time made him realize just how much he missed the place, noting that there were a few specks of dust on the floor from his neglect. Nevertheless, he swiftly cleaned it up and sat down at his desk, ready to complete all his work for the day. There was an abnormal spike in exploits in the Natural Disaster Survival servers, many players reporting being flung around by mischievous individuals and blocks being launched into the air. Seriously, don’t these guys have anything better to do than to ruin everyone else's experience?

At least 007n7 and Noli have retired, those two were really frustrating to deal with. He has no idea who exactly left c00lkidd at their doorstep, but whoever that was did a huge favor for the admins by getting rid of one of their biggest problems. It's such a shame that not every hacker has decided to just stop, still reigning terror over Robloxia. Well, at least they are relatively easy to deal with. Dusekkar stood up from his seat, looking up as his back set out a satisfying crack. He should probably walk around for a bit after sitting for hours, he wouldn't want to ruin his skeletal structure now would he.

Opening his door, he was soon greeted by the chatter of tired employees high on coffee and sugar, too busy running around to wherever they need to be to pay the pumpkin any attention. Looking at a random clock on the wall, he realized that it was around one in the afternoon, he should probably go to the cafeteria to get some food. Only now that he has stopped working is that he realized just how hungry he was, stomach growling and cramping as he grumbled under his breath. He found it so annoying that despite technically not needing to eat to survive, being an immortal admin and all, his body still demanded it from him. Sure, eating food is one of the many joys of life, but imagine just how efficient he could be if he didn’t need to take breaks for sustenance.

After flying down the stairs, accidentally jumpscaring a fairly new worker by taking a very sharp turn, he arrived at the cafeteria, many other admins also enjoying their lunches. Today’s menu consisted of pizza, a cheese and ham sandwich, a caesar salad, some juices and a simple bag of chips if you weren't that hungry. Normally, the mage would go with a caesar salad with a bottle of water, but he was quite famished right now so he was just going to order a cheese and ham sandwich with apple juice instead. Hopefully the sandwich didn’t make him want to throw up. He told the cashier what he wanted, paying whatever the price was and waited by the counter for a few minutes before picking up his now hot food.

He scanned the room, frowning slightly when he didn’t see those familiar red horns in the crowd. Seems like Doombringer was still working, or maybe he has already gone home. Either way, he wasn’t here. Meaning that he has the choice to sit with some other admins or sit alone. As much as he loved his coworkers dearly, he was still sort of too nervous to sit with them. It's not like he was scared of them or something, they were still his friends and he knew that they wouldn’t do anything to hurt him in any way, but he didn’t know them as well as he knew Builderman and Doombringer, and that made him anxious for some reason. Plus, they always sat in big groups, so it was extremely loud near them. And so he floated over to an empty table in the far corner of the room, hunched over his sandwich as he took his first bite.

Honestly, it wasn’t all that good, but it wasn’t disgusting either. At least the apple juice was very refreshing, quenching his thirst almost as well as water. He was almost done with his sandwich when a bright colour of orange suddenly caught his eye, the CEO himself waving enthusiastically at him as he sat across from the mage. He didn’t expect Builderman to actually stop working and allow himself to have a break, it was a very rare occurrence nowadays, but here he was, eating a greasy pizza and some orange juice. Definitely a strange combination, but whatever, it probably still tastes good. He smiled at the man, relief flooding his system at seeing his close companion, and he set the sandwich aside. It was pretty nauseating.

“Hello Builderman! It’s lovely to see you, my dear friend. Say, you usually never have lunch with us. Did work come to an early end?” At hearing the last sentence, Builderman laughed fondly, shaking his head as he let out a sigh of exhaustion.

“No, no. I still have a tower of documents waiting for me back at my desk. Seriously, it’s gotta be as big as the damn HQ itself. I just thought it would be nice to let myself rest for a few minutes before going back to it. After all, those papers aren’t going to write themselves!” Dusekkar chuckled before taking a sip of his apple juice, the sweet liquid flooding his taste buds. He grimaced slightly, also putting the cup aside. This whole meal did nothing but make him queasy, at least it got rid of his hunger though. He knew he should have gone with the caesar salad. He was so focused on beating himself up for his food choice that he didn’t even notice Builderman saying something, only snapping out of his thoughts when the CEO was patiently waiting for his response. He scratched the back of his head, letting out an awkward cough before talking.

“I’m sorry, would you repeat that bit? Something distracted me, I must admit.”

“Yeah, it’s alright. It’s been a pretty busy day, you’re probably tired, I get it. I was just asking if you and Doombringer have gotten over that whole ‘secret’ thing. I remember he was pretty pissed about it, but now you guys seem to be okay with each other. Did you talk to him about how unreasonable he was being or did you end up sharing that secret?” Dusekkar blinked, taking an embarrassingly long time to remember what he was talking about. That little brawl seemed so long ago that he nearly forgot about it. It had been such a petty argument, one that even caused the red admin to break into his damn home. Remembering that, a new wave of faint annoyance washed over him, he was still mad at Doombringer for doing that.

“Oh, that? It was just a silly argument, we already let the tension go. We settled it when I told him the secret, you know.” Builderman nodded, taking a gulp from his water and setting it down on the table.

“Well, I’m glad you guys aren’t still fighting.” There was a pause of silence, only interrupted by chatter from nearby tables. Dusekkar considered saying something, but there was nothing to talk about, so he kept his mouth shut. The CEO on the other hand, opened and closed his mouth, as if contemplating whether to say something or not. His eyes revealed some internal conflict, his grip on the plastic water bottle tightening as the plastic crinkled. After a minute or two of quiet, the man finally spoke, the mage looking up from their lap to pay attention.

“Say, this, uh, secret thing, should I know about it? Like, I totally understand if you don’t want to tell me, it is your secret after all, but if Doombringer knows, could I… maybe know too? We are all friends, and I promise I won’t tell anyone else! It’s just-” There was a brief pause, in which the admin let out a deep sigh. “- I might be being a little dramatic, but I kind of feel left out. I know that I’ve been a little distant because of work and all, but I would still like to be included sometimes. Again, you don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to.” The mage was kind of stunned, eyes widening in surprise before he composed himself. He didn’t expect Builderman to be so open and straight forward like that.

The guilt of keeping Shedletsky a secret from him suddenly came back, much stronger than before. He should know, he deserves to know. I mean, this is Telamon’s reincarnation we’re talking about! Builderman’s best friend, the one person he cared about more than Roblox itself, came back to life and he’s been keeping that information away from him. It felt cruel almost, like dangling a slab of meat in front of a chained up starving dog, just out of reach. But still, he can’t know, he owes that to 1x1x1x1. He knew what would probably happen if he revealed the secret, and it wasn’t anything good. He would probably barge into the hacker’s home right away, confront them and maybe even harm them. He would separate the two, keeping the green man away from his baby. Separating a father from his child was infinitely worse than keeping a secret from Builderman. And so he swallowed, making eye contact with the CEO.

“As much as I’d like to tell you, Builder, I’m afraid I cannot. Sorry.” Dusekkar's eyebrows furrowed as he watched confusion flash across Builderman's eyes, quickly morphing into a mixture of understanding and sadness. The other man nodded, picking up their now empty tray and standing up.

“It’s okay, Dusek. I understand. I hope that you’ll be able to tell me someday though. Right now I gotta get back to work, so hopefully I’ll see you later today. Goodbye!” He skipped away before the pumpkin had the chance to say anything, once more leaving him alone with nothing but his thoughts. Slowly, he gathered his half eaten sandwich and his almost empty cup of juice and threw it away, stomach twisting at the smell of the greasy ham. Well, he should probably get back to work.

•••

He didn’t rhyme.

That was the only thing circling around Builderman’s mind as he tried his best to concentrate on his work, failing miserably each time. He couldn’t help but think about it, eventually growing frustrated with his lack of productivity, deciding to abandon the work altogether. The only times in which Dusekkar didn’t rhyme was when something was extremely wrong or if something was deeply troubling him. Either way, neither of those options were good. He slumped over his chair, staring up at the ceiling above as he wondered what could possibly be happening that was so serious that not even he could know. I mean, the mage trusted Doombringer with the secret, so why didn’t he trust him? Were they growing apart? Were they sick of him or something? No, he slapped his forehead, trying to get those awful thoughts out of his head.

He went back to trying to complete his assignments, the unanswered questions still weighing on his shoulders.