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Chapter 1
Saras Noo Adventure

Sara was in her meth class. The teacher was sick so they had a sub, Mr. Sanderson. I actually know him, and he's a really cool guy. Then Shulk ran in.
"Bloody Hell!" she shouted, surprised they'd teach kids how to make an illegal drug in school. She had dyed her hair red and drew freckles on her face because Ron Weasly was her personal hero when it came to British/English people (they're the same thing, right? I should look it up).
Regaining her composure, she said, "Sara you have to come with me! Dog and Ljess are being held hostage by the Devil, who is a part-timer! Bo told me to say that!"
Alice hit him on the back of her head, " Don't tell her that you idiot!" she hissed. Yes, I'm putting more OCs in. Read my Fire Emblem: Awakening fanfiction for details. Ignoring my shameless self-advertising, Sara got out of her seat. Mr. Sanderson told her to sit down.
"No way f*cking n*gger!" Sara shouted. Mr. Sanderson sighed. Then a dog walked into the room.
"Excuse me," the dog said, "But can you tell me where I can find Mr. Sanderson?"
Mr. Sanderson raised his hand.
"Mr. Sanderson, you are under arrest for raping white women and selling drugs."
"It's The Polite Dog!" Mr. Sanderson realized. The Polite Dog had been going around arresting non-white people for no reason.
"I didn't even do anything!" Mr. Sanderson shouted. The The Polite Dog shot him. Just shot him dead. It would have been kinda funny, 'cause you know, a dog was holding a gun, if only it wasn't so serious. A few students started crying. Then Sara, Shulk, and Alice left the room and Alice teleported them back to the mansion as she imagined how she would kill Sara.

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Chapter 2
No Pepal at The Manshan

As soon as they got within eyeshot of the mansion, Alice and Shulk ran towards it to rehearse what'd happen when Sara got there.
"No," Marth said," I am NOT dating her again."
"Relax, just pretend we're dating," said Rune (remember her?).
"Hey!" Chrom protested, as he was he was rather uncomfortable with his wife pretending to date his ancestor.
"Chrom grow up," Rune teased him. Then she kissed him. Alice made a gagging noise.
"Get a room!" was her immediate response.
"I think Ally's the one that needs to grow up," Chrom said.
"That makes sense," Lucina said, but why do I have to 'date' him?"
She pointed to James (not from Team Rocket). Everyone shrugged. Then Sara walked up.
"You're pretty," she told Lucina.
The poor girl looked like she was going to cry as she said, "Thanks. You too."
"Are you a lesbian?" Sara asked her. Lucina was about to shout at her for her hypocrisy before Marth interrupted.
"This is Lucina," he gestured to Lucina who grimaced, "My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great granddaughter."
"So you're siblings?" Sara asked, causing the "siblings" to facepalm.
"I'm dating Rune now so I can't date you now, "Marth said quickly.
"Well I'm dating Shulk," Sara said.
Marth mouthed 'Thank you, sorry' at Shulk. She just shrugged. You probably think I'm an idiot for referring to Shulk as "she" but in this she's a lesbian girl. Read "Genderswap" for details.
"Seriously?" Alice asked.
"I'm Chrom," Chrom said, "Lucina's my daughter."
Sara ignored him.
"I'm Raguna," Raguna said. They'd gotten Ginny AKA Micah from Rune Factory 3 to pretend to be God. Or Dog, as the Newcomers called him.
"Hi God, I thought you and Jesus were being held hostage by Lauren and Kairi and Stan," Sara said.
Yes Alice, like the girl from Kingdom Hearts. I think her name's actually Katy, but I just don't know.
"I'm not Dog," Raguna said quickly. Speaking of God/Dog and Jesus/Ljess, Popcorn, Link and Zelda's daughter, was pretending to be Jesus. Anyway, Sara met all the other newcomers. And Raguna ran away to give Ginny his bread.

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Chapter 3
Somethin iz Ron

Poor Lucina even had to share a bed with Sara. After she had left the first time, the Smash Bros. burned all her stuff, and the room she stayed in, in a sacrificial bonfire. Needless to say, they were NOT happy about her return. Especially Marth, who was now married. Lucina's only solace was that Sara slept late. Usually until ten. That gave Lucina around five hours to be alone. Being around Sara 24/7 can really destroy you're faith in humanity. Unfortunately, Sara had a match first thing that morning. Matches were from eight to six. So, instead of five hours to avoid Sara, Lucina only had three. Sara had to fight Captain Falcon because everyone, especially Shulk, Master Hand, Lucina, Bo, Alice, and Chrom hoped he would Falcon Punch her into Bolivian. Unfortunately, he didn't. In fact, he lost. But hey, at least Sara lost her God/Dog powers. But she STILL won 'cause she's just a Mary Sue like that. And then Meatball Fake-I mean-Metal Face came and-oh my gods Sara! Put the Monado down! You can't wield it! Only Shulk can! And some others because reasons... But still! And now Metal Face is gone. I swear her God/Dog powers should be called Mary Sue powers instead...

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Chapter 4
Mattel Fase Ataks Agen

Later, Sara dragged Lucina to the mall. They went to Victoria's Secret and bought some sexxy...lingerie? Lingeray? Lingery? I can't remember how to spell it.
"Father is going to kill me," Lucina mumbled. When Sara was in the bathroom, Lucina ran back to Victoria's Secret and returned the lingerie/lingeray/lingerey. She then bought a sweatshirt instead, which she stuffed into the Victoria's Secret bag so Sara wouldn't know the difference. When she got back, Sara was still in the bathroom. Sara takes a long time in the bathroom.
"Let's go see a movie," Lucina suggested. She was thinking something like The Avengers or Guardians of the Galaxy. She figured the worst they could watch was one of the five billion Pokemon movies, or the very worst, Super Mario Bros. She was so wrong. She had forgotten that Sara was significantly more girly then she was. So she was forced into a freakin' Twilight marathon. Even worse, two people started...*ahem* Woohooing about halfway through. Some lady shouted at them and they killed her before leaving. They didn't even put their clothes on. After they left the theater, Metal Face came and kidnapped Sara and took her to "England" so Lauren could shout at her. I wish I could go to England. But I can't. Because she was actually taken to Ylisse. Though it's not like she'd even know the difference...
"Yes!" Lucina cheered.

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Chapter 5
Lucina Gos Back 2 Manshan

When Lucina got back to the mansion, Master Hand said ,"Lucina where were you? You missed all three matches you were scedualed for today."
"Sara..."Lucina panted, as she had run all the way to the mansion, "Mall...Twilight..."
"Where is Sara?" Master Hand asked.
"No...money...particular...set...of skills..."
"Huh?" Master Hand asked.
"Taken..." Lucina panted.
"Oh," Master Hand sounded happy about that. Lucina went to find the other Smash Bros. After six on Fridays, all the Smash Bros. got together to play a video game. That day the were playing Mario Kart.
"Where were you?" Chrom asked her.
"Well, Sara dragged me to the mall and then I had to watch a frickin' Twilight marathon and in the middle of it two people started sexing and I HAVE A VERY PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS!" she explained.
"It's not 'sexing'," Rune tried to correct her, " It's 'having sex'."
"Yeah, but...I don't wanna say that..." Lucina said.
"What does having a particular set of skills have to do with anything?" Chrom asked.
"Oh, Bo told me to say that if anyone got kidnapped in front of me." Lucina said.
"So, Sara got kidnapped?" Shulk asked, "I guess we should save her."
Shulk and Lucina groaned.
"We need to borrow your car, Captain Falcon," Lucina said.
"You mean the Blue Falcon?" Captain Falcon asked.
"I guess," Lucina shrugged.
"Do either of you know how to drive a car?"
Shulk and Lucina shook their heads.
"I'll go," Bo said," I think I have a vague understanding of cars."

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Chapter 6
Jerney 2 Yurop

The next day, Bo, Shulk, and Lucina went to the garage. Captain Falcon had told Master Hand that if he was in any matches the Smash Ball would have to be turned off. Master Hand said it could be no items, Captain Falcon only, Final Destination and that this series needs " more memes then Minecraft". He then had to remind Captain Falcon that since it was Saturday, no one would be participating in matches.

Anyway!
Bo got in the driver's seat while Lucina got in the passengers seat and Shulk got in the back. Why a racing vehicle needs a passenger's and back seat, I don't know. But I mean, this! Is! F-Zerooooooo! Lucina turned on the radio (again, no idea WHY a racecar would need one), but since she'd only been able to do that buy pressing random buttons, they were forced to listen to freakin' Fancy by freakin' Iggy Azalea on a freakin' rap station. They drove for a while before Bo had to go to the bathroom.
"Why are we even trying to save Sara?" Shulk asked Lucina.
"'Cause it's the right thing to do, apparently," Lucina sighed," And I thought you had a girlfriend. You didn't break up, did you?"
"No, I...it's...complicated," Shulk said, "Do you wanna get coffee sometime? Not as a date or anything."
"Sure," Lucina smiled.
"I'm baaaaack!" Bo announced, walking out of the Wawa they had stopped at, her arms full of chips, candy, and soda," I got snacks."
They go into the car.
"How's the Flux Capacitor?" Bo asked.
"What!?" Shulk and Licina shouted before they went back to the future. Well, Lucina did, anyway. So they drove to the future France, where Lucina proved she had been taking Germen lessons, rambling on Germen to anyone that would listen. Then they drove to Germany where Shulk was confused for the Fuhrer, but only after Bo forcibly dyed her hair black. They then listened to a song by the unfortunately not Fuhrer, Roy Mustang for an hour before Bo started singing it. They then stopped at a rest stop so Bo could go to the bathroom again.
"I'm the Flame Alchemist and I'm gonna be Fuhrer!" Shulk and Lucina heard from the bathroom.
"Is she really still singing that?" Shulk asked.
"Well, we were listening to that song for an hour," Lucina pointed out.
"Why did it keep coming on, though?" Shulk asked.
Lucina shrugged.

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Chapter 7
Sara Entars a Jost

Meanwhile, in Ylisse, Sara had escaped from Owain's hammyness and Morgan's constantly hitting his head on everything. She wandered through a random field. She saw a sign for a charity joust held by the Shepards. All proceeds went to Libra's orphanage, despite the fact that he, along with his wife, Tharja and their daughter, Noire would be participating. The Shepard's had no idea what a joust is. The prize was "a trip to Hogwarts", which they couldn't really do. It had been Rune's idea to add that (she really liked Harry Potter). So Sara stole a horse from a farmer named Pete, who probably could have ridden it to the joust but was now stuck at home with his wife and son, and some armor from a FEMALE knight named Forte and entered the joust. And so, Sara did probably the only good thing in her entire life. Her first opponent was Frederick, who beat her easily. She still moved on, though, because she thought she won. This continued until the final round, when she had to fight Kellam.
"Where's my opponent?" Sara asked, looking around in confusion.
"Right HERE!" Kellam shouted, ramming into her horse. So she fell of her horse and Kellam won.
"They saw that, right?" Kellam asked hopefully, looking toward the stands.
"Wait what happened? I don't see anyone!" Said the dumbfounded announcer.
Kellam sighed," Why do I even try?" He asked, walking out of the stadium.
"Hey, that's Sara!" Lauren shouted. She had gone to the joust because sometimes, people just want to do something good. So Sara ran away with Pete's horse and Lauren borrows Sumia's pegasus to catch up to her. Then Metal Face killed Pete's horse so Lauren could catch her easier. After she did, Lauren took Sara back to the castle and threw her into the dungeon so she could return Sumia's pegasus, buy Pete a new horse, return Forte's armor, and so she and Kauri/Katy could get changed.

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Chapter 8
Sara Almost Gets Rap

An hour later, Lauren and Kairi/Katy walked into the dungeon dressed like rappers. After taking some of Sara's blood to make a clone, the two left to do just that. They came back accompanied by a second Sara clone, this one named Shara.
"Hi Gud Clon Sara," Sara said
"Who are you?" Shara asked, sounding scared. She obviously had no idea who Sara was, seeing as how she had been created about five minutes ago. Shara was physically fifteen because Lauren had used her magic powers to make her appear fifteen, the same age as Sara. She had done the same thing with Salla last year. Lauren had actually been born in England, and she went to Hogwarts for three years, before she moved to America and met Sara. After that, her parents convinced Harry Potter to tutor her.

Anyway!
Shara was dressed like Mist from Rune Factory.
So the Lauren and Kairi/Katy started to rap for Sara before a gard ran in and shouted," The orcs took her!"
Sara got up and ran around her cell in her underwear (Lauren had taken off her clothes) until Shulk and Lucina walked into the dungeon, followed by Inigo, who immediately asked Sara out. When she said yes, Inigo ran away, as he was married to Severa.
"What does the scouter say about her stupidity level?" Shulk whispered to Lucina.
"It's over nine-thousaaaaaaaaand!" Lucina shouted.
"What, nine-thousand!? That's impossible!" Shulk shouted back.
Then Sara kissed Shulk, which supposedly proves "once and floral" that she's not a lesbian, but really proves "once and floral" that she is. So Shulk, Sara, and Lucina left the dungeon. But then, out of nowhere, before anyone could have even expected it, a Harry Potter came and summoned the Dark World! And that was bad. In the Dark World, Ganondorf lived there. Or maybe it was Ganon? I don't really remember which. And they fought the fight to the death with PeanutButterGuy! And it was terrible of a sight to see. But then Link showed up to save the day! But it was too late... The battle was over, and everybody was dead! Just kidding! None of that happened. But Harry Potter really was there.

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"Holy shit, it's Ron Weasly!" Shulk shouted," You're like my hero!"
She then ran to talk to him.
"You're Harry Potter!" Lucina shouted," Do you mind taking a picture with me!?"
"No, why?" Harry asked.
"Well, my mother's a huge fan, and she told me that if I ever saw you, I should take a picture," Lucina said as she took out her camera," Hey, Shara, can you take a picture?"
"Sure," Shara said. So she took a picture of Lucina and Harry. Bo was having a conversation with Luna Lovegood.
"It's Harry Potar!" Sara shouted.
"POTTER," everyone corrected.
"Same thing," Sara said.
"No it's not. It's my name," Harry said," Hey, did you know we single handedly made the author obsessed with England and English accents?"
"So THAT'S what's up with that accent," Shulk said," I thought she was mocking me."
"Nope," Harry said," She's just obsessed."
"Aw shit, I have a bag of Milky Ways!" Bo said happily.
"Aaaaaaaah!" Sara screamed, as Harry had used that spell that Hermione used on Neville towards the end of the Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone (I can't remember what it's called) on her. Then Bo ran over and tackle-hugged him, while Shulk and Lucina carried Sara to the car. Then they got in the car (Shulk and Shara sat on Sara) and drove back to the mansion.

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Chapter 10
Ditenshun

Shulk and Shara refused to get off of Sara, even when the spell wore off. They only got off of her when they stopped at a gas station so they could go to the bathroom, and get gas and snacks. They eventually got annoyed of non-stop rap, so Lucina pressed random buttons again until she changed the station. When they got back to the mansion, Master Hand was waiting for them with Captain Falcon.
"You three have detention for going to Ylisse to 'save' Sara," Master Hand told Shulk, Lucina, and Bo.
"And you," he told Sara," Have detention for missing all your matches and causing Lucina to miss her's."
"Do not WAAAAAAAANT!" Sara shouted, falling to her knees.
"My car!" Captain Falcon shouted, hugging the Blue Falcon. Some say he loved that race car more then his girlfriend, who I'm pretty sure is his girlfriend. Her name's Jody Summer or something. I dunno, I've only played the original F-Zero demo-thingy in the WiiU version of WiiU/3DS.
"Falcon, detention room, NOW," Master Hand told Captain Falcon, who was staring at me for suggesting he loved the Blue Falcon more then his mabye-girlfriend, Something with a J Summer. He then walked away, shaking his head at me. By this time, Sara had started to cry.
"Oh, grow up," Master Hand mumbled as he escorted the five of them to the Detention Room. All the Smash Bros. were there, along with Lucina's younger self and a Shaymin that Alice had caught. It was currently asleep in her lap. The Smash Bros. didn't really mind having Detention, except for the fact that they were there with Sara. Luckily, they were allowed to leave at night, with the exception of Bo, Sara, Shulk, and Lucina. I don't really know why they had detention, but, whatever...

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Chapter 11
Tha Dekoys AKA Everyone is Happy Because Salla's Back

The next day (that was quick) Sara decided to break out of Detention. So Reyn and Fiora came to the mansion. And they are ACTUALLY Reyn and Fiora this time.
"You have to release Salla," Bo told Sara.
"Or I could just pretend to be her," Shara offered, looking up from the 3DS that Lauren had given her.
"No. We need Salla," Bo insisted.
"How do I do that?" Sara asked.
"Just concentrate on Salla," Bo explained.

Several seconds later, Sara asked, "How do I do that?"
Bo groaned and retrieved the Anime Salla poster from the closet. After focusing on the poster for a while, Salla's body came out of Sara's.

They then spent thirty minutes trying to dye Fiora's hair the exact same color of Lucina's. They used a lot of hair dye. In fact, they used so much dye it was probably detrimental to Fiora's health. They then spent another ten minutes deciding which of Reyn's five blonde wigs looked most like Shulk's hair. By the time they snuck out, it was nearly time for them to eat lunch.

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Chapter 12
Tryan to Fine Subspas

Sara, Lucina, and Shulk walked the three miles to the town. All three of them felt like they were going to collapse from hunger. They decided to split up and look for clues. Sara went to the mall. She didn't find the portal to Subspace, though she did buy a tiny red miniskirt, which she changed into. When she was walking back to the Chickfillet, where she, Shulk, and Lucina had decided to meet up, she saw Metal Face. She followed him to an alley, where saw him talking to the Cellular Bugworm from Xenoblade. I remember not noticing it at first, even though it killed me.

Anyway!

She went back to Chickfillet, where Shulk and Lucina had been waiting for twenty minutes. They both had Starbucks and were laughing about something.
"Sara, WHY did you buy a skirt?" Shulk asked Sara when she sat down.
"I like the ladies in the miniskirts!" Lucina blurted out. Shulk groaned. She then started singing the whole song/rap.
"I found the porthole," Sara told Shulk.
"Portal," she corrected her.
"The cake is a lie!" shouted one employee at the counter. Shulk and Lucina looked at him. He had black hair and red eyes, and his nametag said "Sadao". Sara ignored him.

After Sara finished her food, they walked to the alley. Sara shot the Cellular Bugworm and it died insanely. However, she continued to shoot it. Shulk, meanwhile had fled to in front of the building they were standing next to. Sara didn't seem to notice.
"Dye you stooped caterpillar!" she shouted, "Dye dye dye dye dye!"
When she was finally done shooting it, the Cellular Bugworm resembled a bloody lump of flesh.
Lucina made a face at it.
"Well, that was over the top," she said, totally deadpan.
So they walked through the portal.

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Chapter 13
Stan's Trope

As soon as they walked through the portal, Sara, Shulk, and Lucina were attacked by denim...salesmen...trying to sell them...denim. Holy shit, that sentence was painful to write. They went to the room that they could see from the TV Screen Room.
"STAAAAAAAAAAN!" Sara shouted when they got there. Lucina giggled and nudged Shulk, who sighed.
"What do you want Sara?" he asked, depressed. He was still sad that his friend, Satin, was dead.
"To kill you!" Sara shouted, pulling out her dad's shotgun. Before the shit-bullet hit him, Stan teleported away and left a robot version of himself in his place. The shit-bullet bounced off the Robot Stan.
"Onto it's a Robot Satin!" Sara shouted.
"No, it's Stan. You killed Satin," Shulk corrected her. Then Lauren and Kairi/Katy walked into The Room with Tommy Wiseau! I swear I'm done with that joke for the rest of this fanfiction.
"You're tearing me APART Lisa!" he shouted. Lauren punched him and he fell to the ground, unconscious.
"That's what you get for The Room!" she shouted.
"Uno!" Sara shouted.
"Sara, it's oh-no. Not ono or uno," Lauren said, annoyed.

So then Shulk cut the Robot Stan in half because she had gotten bored of the conversation. Then Lauren and Kairi/Katy started to rap for Lucina, who told Shulk to knock Sara unconscious. She did so gladly. When they got out of Subspace, Sara slapped Shulk. Because apparently she had regained consciousness by that point.
"Why is it always me!?" Shulk shouted, holding her cheek where Sara hit her.
Then they went back to the mansion. Lucina was already there waiting for them.
"What took you so long?" she asked before noticing Shulk still holding her cheek.
"Shulk, what happened?" She asked. Shulk tilted her head towards Sara, who was staring at Lucina's chest.
"Oh," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
Then they climbed the ladder back into the Detention Room.

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Chapter 14
Ever on is Sade Abot Lucina Bean a Lesban

Everyone was sad. Marth and Shulk were sad that Sara still existed. James was sad that he couldn't watch TV. And Sara was the "Sadist of All" (I swear that sounds like a serial killer) because Lucina was BESTEST! Don't judge me.

Anyway!
Sara decided to find a new roommate. She decided to ask Palutena, who is a GODDESS, not an angel. Greek Mythology didn't even have angels! And Medusa isn't a goddess. Palutena and Viridi don't even exist and Hades is NOT FREAKIN' EVIL! To stop the eivil Hades stereotype, call 555-555-5555 today. Because a princess doesn't use a purse. And WHY is it even called Kid Icarus!? It doesn't have anything to do with him! Unless Pit is his reincarnation (it's my theory).
"Well, that was off topic," Palutena said.
"I know!" I shouted.
"Poontangia, do you wanna be my new roommate?" Sara asked.
"Sara, why do you want a new roommate?" Master Hand asked.
"Because Imma lesban!" Lucina shouted.
"Sara, you are a *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*!" Master Hand let out a long string of curse words that, unfortunately, had to be censored. Think of the children! So Master Hand wouldn't let Sara change rooms.

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Chapter 15
Mark and Lucina's Dad

Two weeks later all the Smash Bros. except Shulk, Sara, Lucina, and Bo were almost done with their detention. That meant that Lucina would soon be able to rap for Sara. Oh yeah, that's a thing I guess. Honestly, I don't really care.

Anyway!
"We need a cur," Sara said.
"Cure," everyone corrected her.
"Last time Tiffany made the cur, but nao she's married to Mr. Johnson and the Bibal says that you always have to obay your hubbard or you'll go to Hell," Sara said, once again demonstrating that she's a terrible person.
"Huh?" Marth had temporarily forgotten what he was going to say," Oh yeah! We need to tell Chrom!"
"And he can help us find the cur?" Sara asked.
"Sure, why not," Marth said. So Reyn and Fiora came back. Reyn saved ten minutes by bringing the same wig he had back in Chapter 11. And they only spent twenty minutes trying to dye Fiora's hair the same color as Palutena's. Lucina pretended to be Marth. Note no one pretended to be Lucina. So then Shulk, Sara, and Palutena for some reason climbed down the ladder Reyn and Fiora had climbed up about thirty-five minutes ago before walking back in the front door to talk to Chrom. Since he was married to Rune, Master Hand had let him stay in the mansion. He had managed to convince Master Hand to not give him detention, seeing as how he had nothing to do with Shulk, Lucina, and Bo sneaking out. He was sitting on the couch, eating a candy cigarette and watching the Pokemon anime with Salla and Shara while Lucina's younger self slept on the couch next to him. Sara, Shulk, and Palutena walked into The Room.
"My name is Sara," Sara said.
"Huh? Yeah, I know," Chrom said.
"Just go with it," Shulk whispered before shouting at the top of her lungs, "Ello Gov'nor I'm Shulk!"
"Hi I'm Palatine!" Palutena shouted extremly overenthusiasticly. Chrom stared at her.
"Like the chancellor?" He asked.
"Yup!" She said happily.
"Suuuuuuuuure," he said, "Anyway, why're you here? Don't you have detention still?"
"Yeah but there's some trouble with Lucina. She's a lesbian now," Marth said.
"Okay," Chrom said, "That's fine with me."
Sumia started crying from the kitchen.
Chrom stared at her," What's she doing here!?"
"She's your wife but I don't know who she is," Sara said.
"Go away," Chrom said, throwing the TV remote at Shulk. She ducked down and the remote hit the wall, breaking into prices. Chrom then let out a long stream of curse words. Master Hand would have to buy a new remote the next time he went food shopping, AKA tomorrow. Shulk and Marth grabbed Chrom by the arms and dragged him out the door and up the ladder into the Detention Room.
"Father!" Lucina shouted, tackle-hugging Chrom.
"At least it's not Bolivian this time," Chrom mumbled.
"I'm a lesbian now," she told him.
Chrom immediately shooted, "I know it!"
When Sara glared at him, he said, " Uh...I mean...Ur no dotter off mine then! Ur lucky Imma Christian, otherwise I wold a have made ur mother get an albertan when I fond of u wold be a girl!"
"Suuuuuuuuure," Bo said from the corner.
Master Hand flew into the room and threw Chrom out the window.
"Ow!" Chrom shouted when he hit the ground.
You're a terrible farter!" Master Hand shouted, "And if you ever come near Lucina again I'm callin' the cops!"
"But this is were I'm staying!" Chrom shouted back.
"Then come back when you're a better father!" Then to Lucina he said, "You can leave detention."
"Really? Yes!" she threw her arms in the air and did a little dancy-thing while laughing like a crazy person. Her face fell and she said, "I-I mean... I did a bad thing and I should be punished for it.
"Okay," Master Hand said before flying out of the room. Lucina ran to the window.
"Are you okay Father!?" she shouted.
"Yeah, probably broke something, but yeah!" he shouted back.
"Food will heal you!" Alice shouted, as she and Bo ran to the window before hurling food at Chrom.
"Stop throwing food at me!" he shouted.

Later...
When Chrom tried to get back into the mansion, Master Hand floated in front of the door and shouted, "You shall not pass!"
He kept all the Smash Bros. awake half the night, with the exception of Sara, who could sleep through just about anything. Chrom eventually fell asleep on the front lawn, praying that a goat wouldn't try to eat him in his sleep.

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Chapter 16
Nite in Ditenshun

Sara was having a nightmare. She was friends with Lucina again.
"Ur my BESTEST friend," Sara said.
"And you're my BESTEST friend," Lucina said. Then it started to rain.
"We should go inside," Lucina said worriedly.
"No, I can't resist you luver," Sara said. Then they started taking off each other's clothes. All I can tell you is that they started sexing because one, I don't like lemon, and two, I don't even know what the hell happened. Though I can tell you it involved Sara's tongue and Lucina's "Virginia". No, I am not making this shit up. And who would have sex in the rain, anyway? And then the clouds parted and they saw a rainbow, a symbol of homosexuality. So does that mean that Daria from Rune Factory 3 is a lesbian? No! You can marry her! They also saw a Ho-Oh, because why the hell not?
"Will you marry me, Lucina?" Sara asked.
"You know who's gay?" Lucina asked. The wedding song started playing, "Us."

"Sara...Sara...Sara..."Sara heard Lucina say.
"I love you two, Lucina," Sara mumbled.

"Sara, wake up!" Lucina shouted. Since Sara had fallen asleep on her back with her head to the right, the first thing she saw was Salla cosplaying. Who was she cosplaying as? Ed. Of course, Sara didn't know that, so she thought that Salla had braided her hair really badly and was wearing a red coat for no reason.

"Evul Clon Sara, what're you wearing?" Sara asked.
"No you've discovered my secret!" Salla shouted running out of the room in tears
"It's nothing to be ashamed of!" Lucina shouted after her.

"Sara!" Lucina shouted after a minute. Sara screamed when she turned her head. Lucina was sitting on Sara's stomach with her face an inch away from Sara's.
"Shulk is asleep," Lucina said, "I gave her tea with a sleeping potion in it."
In actuality, Shulk had fallen asleep about an hour before
"No! Help! A lesban is gonna rap me!" Sara shouted.
"No one is awake right now so no one can hear you scream," Lucina said.

Just then, they heard a shout of, "You shall not pass!" followed by a shout of, "Shut up! Some of us are trying to sleep!"

Lucina sighed, "Of course."

While Lucina was distracted, Sara sat up and pushed Lucina off of her.

"Hey!" Lucina shouted.

Sara jumped out the window, narrowly missing Chrom, who she then immediately tripped over. Sara then ran into the Forrest, knocking over the sign in the process.

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Chapter 17
The Drak Forast

Sara planned to just hide in the Forrest until morning, until she heard Lucina behind her. Sara was getting slowed down because branches kept hitting her in the face, while Lucina was getting faster because she was so cute. They eventually came to a clearing. Then a baby panda wandered over.
"I'm saved!" Sara shouted, throwing her arms in the air.
Lucina sighed and said, "Nope."
"Yeah-huh," Sara said, "Animals are God's creatures so they protect straight people like that one time in the Bibal when-"
Lucina laughed, "You really are stupid. This is no ordinary forrest. It's the Forest of Big-Ass Trees."

Suddenly, she was behind Sara with her blade pressed against Sara's neck (Lucina had gone to the King Bradley School of Being Such an Awesome Sword Fighter Your Opponent Can't Even See You).

"Do you know what that means?" Lucina asked Sara sweetly. Sara tried to kick Lucina in the stomach, but Lucina jumped away (that had been lesson number one at the KBSBASFYOCESY: predicting your opponent's attacks).

"It means that everything the author thinks is cute lives here. Even the strange ones like Banette and Sableye."
"So that means there are more animals to attack you," Sara said, taking out her dad's shitgun.

"I think you need to pay for your insolence," Lucina said, posing cutely. Then Sara shot her, but she cut the shit-bullet in half (lesson twenty-five: cutting bullets, arrows, and other projectiles in half).

Suddenly, the first came alive. Hoothoot, owls, and Rowlet flew out of the sky. All the water type starters (except Totodile) swam out of the lake. Mew, Diancie, Keldeo, Victini, Shaymin, and Celebi were there for a little while 'cause hey, they're some of the rarest Pokémon ever. Basically, everything that looks cute, and a few things that most people don't think are cute were there.

"They're here to protect me," Sara said, laughing.
"You DEFINATLY need to pay for your insolence.The whole universe doesn't revolve around you," Lucina said, "And anyway, if anything the author thinks is cute is threatened in here, the forrest sends animals to attack the person threatening them."

"Well, I'm cute," Sara said.
"The author hates your guts, Sara. Though she does think I'm cute..."

Suddenly, all the animals started attacking Sara.

After a few minutes, Lucina shouted, "Stop!"
If she had waited any longer to call off the animals, Lucina would have been torn to shreds.

Lucina half-dragged Sara back to the mansion and up to the ladder into the Detention Room. She knew that Sara would die if she didn't do anything, so she ran to the closet to get the staff that was in there for emergencies to heal Sara. Of course, since Lucina's class couldn't use staves, she was unable to do so.

"What's happening?" Shulk asked. She had been woken up when Lucina tripped over her on her way back from the closet.

Shulk stared at Sara and Lucina, "Actually I don't want to know," she said.
"The Forrest of Big-Ass Trees," Lucina said, "Now go wake up Bo."

Shulk shook Bo awake.
"No! No! Not Ona'a! No!" Bo shouted in her sleep.
"So, you followed Sara to the Forrest of Big-Ass Trees and she attacked you?" Shulk asked, "That sounds really convenient. Of course, the author doesn't think it's possible for guys to be adorable."
"She thinks you and my brother are cute. And besides, she thinks you and Fiora are a cute couple. And we all know what happened to Geoffrey," Lucina said.

After Shulk FINALLY woke Bo up, the three girls bandaged Sara's wounds.

Chapter Text

Chapter 18
Ditenshun is Ovary

A few days later, Master Hand flew into the Detention Room.
"Detention is over," he announced to all four people in the room.
"Are you sure I can't change rooms?" Sara asked.
"Sara, you're sharing The Room with Lucina," Master Hand said, annoyed.

"No! Not The Room! Anything but that!" Lucina shouted. She had seen The Room on Netflix a few weeks ago, and had never been the same since.
"Huh? No, not The Room. The bedroom," Master Hand said
"Oh," Lucina said, "I mean, I'd rather not, but it's better then The Room."

So they left the Detention Room.

"I have Edea!" Rune shouted
"No, I'm over here!" yelled Edea from Bravely Default from halfway across the room.
"Go away Edea, you won't be in this unless I get Bravely Default before this series is over. Edea walked away sadly.

"No sorry, I have AN IDEA," Rune said, "You can share a room with me."
"But Master Hand won't let me change rooms," Sara said.
"Then just hide somewhere 'till he goes to bed," Rune said.

That night, Sara waited in the kitchen until Kirby snuck downstairs for a midnight snack. Then she snuck up to Rune's bedroom (Master Hand still wasn't letting Chrom back into the mansion). Rune had considered locking the door, but forgot and fell asleep.

At four in the morning, Lucina snuck into Rune's bedroom.
"Mother, wake up," she said, poking Rune.
Rune screamed before noticing Lucina.
"Oh hai Lucina," she said, sounding very much like Tommy Wiseu.

Unfortunately, Rune's screaming had woken Sara up...somehow. Waking up ex machina?

"I knew I should have locked her out..." Rune mumbled.
"Girl Roban did Lucina rap you?" Sara asked.
"My name is Rune," Rune said, "And...sure. Why not?

"Ono! How will I get outta this!?" Sara asked.

"Who are you talking to?" Lucina asked, annoyed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 19
Gud Clon Sara Cums Back

So Lucina and Rune were going to rap for Sara. Lucina was holding a bag of chips.

"Lucina why do you have chips?" Sara asked.

"I'm glad you asked," Lucina said, laughing evilly, "I'll take this potato chip..." she pulled a chip out of the bag "...And EAT IT!"

Rune and Sara stared at her

"I feel like this is my fault," Rune said, "Was I THAT bad of a mother in the future?"
"No, I'm just special," Lucina said.

Sara ran to the door, but it was locked...from the INSIDE. Lucina ran toward her, but tripped over a blanket. That girl is a serious badass, but my gods, she can be more clumsy then SUMIA.

"I will have to use stealth instead!" Sara said and she jumped out the window screaming.

Rune and Sara followed, though MUCH more stealthily.

Sara originally planned to hide into the Forrest of Big-Ass Trees, though she quickly decided against it, seeing as how I think both Lucina and Rune are adorable. But just Rune. Not Robin. So Sara decided to go to the police, who were seriously busy trying to catch a the if. Then Salla ran up to Sara holding a blanket.

"Here, you can use this blanket!" She shouted. Several seconds later, she threw the blanket to Sara before singing the Pokémon Theme Song.

"Salla, you DASTARD!" Lucina shouted.
"Huh?" Salla stopped singing. Shara, who was also nearby, started laughing hysterically. Then Shara and Salla threw jeans at Rune and Lucina.

The next day...

Rune wanted to share a room with Lucina, so Sara, Sahara, and Salla ended up sharing a room, cuz they're a team now. Every night, Rune and Lucina kept the Smash Bros. awake 'till around eleven with their saxophone playing, again, with the exception of Sara.

Chapter Text

Like I said last chapter, Sara, Shara, and Salla shared at room. Rune and Lucina ALSO shared a room. And they played the saxophone all night. Okay, now that that recap-majig that I only included because everything I just said was in this chapter is over, we can start on this chapter. Again.

Sara and her clones had to fight Rune and Lucina with Shulk. Before the match, Rune was playing withLucina's younger self while Lucina sat on the couch. Lucina's younger self held a Mudkip doll while Rune held a Diancie doll.

"Meow," Xiao Lucina said.
"Let's go! To save the world!" Rune made the Diancie doll shout.
"Meow?" Xiao Lucina made the Mudkip doll ask.
"That's a good question, my Water-type friend," Rune made the Diancie doll say," We must save the world because we are heroes. We are heroes because the world needs us."

"The next match will start in two minutes," Master Hand's voice came over the loudspeaker.

Rune sighed and kissed Xiao Lucina on the forehead, before standing up and walking out of the room.

"You're really lucky, you know," Lucina smiled at her younger self.
"Meow?" Xiao Lucina asked. Lucina patted her on the head.
"Hey Lucina, the match is gonna start soon," Rune shouted. Lucina ran out of the room.

"I won't let them hurt you," Rune said, kissIng Lucina on the forehead.
"Thank you, Mother, but you should worry more about yourself," Lucina said. Rune made a face.
"That's discussing!" Sara shouted.

Then they got teleported to the Battlefield, where they would be fighting. Rune and Sara, Salla, and Sahara were on the "main" platform while Shulk and Lucina were on the two smaller platforms. When the match started, Rune ran at Sara and her clones, while Lucina jumped off her platform behind them. Shulk was getting distracted by the sky.

"The sky...is symmetrical!" She shouted.
"Sholk!" Sara shouted.
"Huh!" Shulk asked before she was knocked over by Sara, who had been sent flying by Lucina. Meanwhile, on the "main" platform, Salla attacked Lucina with her scarf blades while Sahara threw magic cards at Rune.

"Not my daughter, you bitch!" Rune shouted, running toward where Lucina was being attacked by Salla.

Then Metal Face came again, somehow.

"Hello, you wankers!" he shouted.
"You're the only wanker here!" Shulk shouted, perhaps taking that comment a little too seriously.

So then Metal Face kidnapped Shara because he didn't see Sara (who was still laying on top of Shulk) or Salla, so he just assumed Shara was Sara.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22
Saev Gud Clon Sara

After the match, Sara and Shulk were wandering around the mansion. Sara seems to do that a lot with her boyfriends. Or I guess girlfriend, in Shulk's case.

Anyway!
"Shara is at Spiral Valley!" Shulk shouted out of the Big Blue.
"Where's that?" Sara asked.
"On the Bionis' Leg," Shulk explained.
"Is that the place in Super Smash Bros.?" Sara asked. Shulk sighed.
"No that's Gaur Plain, which is also on the Bionis' Leg," she said.

So the went to the room where Master Hand kept all the stuff for matches and stole a bunch of Smash Balls, which they stuffed down their shirts. How one stuffs large, glowing, floating balls down their shirt is a mystery, but who cares. So then they went to-

"To Sholk's World!" Sara shouted. She had somehow managed to steal the Monado from Shulk, which she was holding over her head.

"Sara, please do not attempt a Skyward Strike," Shulk said in a monotone, "There is a 99℅ chance that you will die."
She then grabbed the Monado back from Sara.
"Hey!" Sara protested.
"Master, the batteries in your Wii remote are nearly depleted," Shulk said, still in a monotone.
"Thanks Fi. Thanks," Link stuck his head into The Room with-

"You promised you were done with that joke!" Shulk shouted, punching me.
"Oh yeah," I said, "Then I'll sing a song!"
"No!" Shulk shouted, punching me again.
"Stop punching me!" I shouted at her.
She made a face.
So then Shulk and Sara went to the Bionis' Leg.

Meanwhile...
Reyn and Salla were pretending to be Shulk and Sara again. Unfortunately for them, Master Hand decided to visit them in Shulk's room, where they were hanging oiy with Fiora.

"Where are Shulk and Sara?" Master Hand asked them.
"Right here," Reyn and Salla said.
"Mmmm-hmmm," Master Hand said.

As we all know, Reyn looks nothing like Shulk. Salla looked more like Sara, despite the fact that she had red eyes, shorter hair, and a totally different fashion sense then Sara (Sara always wore a fancy-ish shirt and a skirt or a dress, while Salla wore the same thing she had in the first one (a light blue tanktop, jean shorts, and light blue scarves around her wrists) but she had realized that flip-flops are very impractical in battle, so she now wore brown boots with purple laces). It also didn't help that she was watching Puella Magi Madoka Magical

"Reyn and Salla," Master Hand said, "Where are Shulk and Sara?"
"No I'm totally Shulk!" Reyn shouted, "I'm really feeling it! It's... uh... Shulk time!"
"Huh?" Master Hand asked. He was NOT amused.

Realizing that Master Hand was not amused, he shouted, "I have to go see a guy with a thing bye!"
He threw a Deku But on the floor, accidently stunning himself. Fiora took the blonde wig from him and, with Salla's help, threw him out the window.

"Where's Reyn?" Master Hand asked.
"Colony 9," Fiora said.
"Fiora..." Master Hand said.
"I'm not Fiora, I'm Shulk," Fiora said quickly.
"Suuuuure," Master Hand said.
Fiora sighed, "I promised I'd never do this, but..." she mumbled, before shouting, "Fiooraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!"

She then continued to shout her own name. By this time, Reyn had somehow managed to climb back into the window.

"Tell Shulk she has to say that it's Shulk time," Reyn told Salla.
"Huh?" Salla asked, as Fiora was still shouting her own name at the top of her lungs, so it was kinda hard to hear.
"Tell Shulk that she has to say that it's Shulk time!" Reyn practically shouted.

"Oh hai Reyn," Master Hand said.
Reyn stole the wig back from Fiora, who by that point had exhausted herself by shouting her own name.

"No, I'm Shulk," Reyn insisted.

"And stop mispronouncing my name!" he shouted at me, "It's pronounced Rine, not Rain!"
"Yeah BUT," I said, "You can defiantly have a rainbow without 'Rine'."

"Okay, Rine," Master Hand said (he had been mispronouncing it too), "Where is Shulk."

Reyn made a face that looked like an incredibly high dinosaur attempting to smile innocently, "Here."

Master Hand sighed, "You know what, all three of you have detention for a week.

And back to Shulk and Sara...
By now, Shulk and Sara had almost made it to Spiral Valley. They got a little sidetracked by the Territorial Rotbart. It was a pretty quick battle, despite the fact that Sara was level one (Shulk was... eh... knowing me, whatever the max level in Xenoblade is) because they both used their Final Smashes (Dunban and Riki had been stalking them since they left the mansion).

Anyway, they his in the pond-thingy (I don't know what to call it) right near Spiral Valley. You know, the one that only comes up to Shulk's mid-calves (I've checked). That was Sara's terrible idea. Luckily, Shara was distracting Lauren, Kairi/Katy, Metal Face, and "Xord" (AKA a Mass-Produced Face).

"We have to help her!" Sara told Shulk. She nodded and they ran out of the water.

"We're gonna save you Gud Clon Sara!" Sara shouted, distracting "Xord". Shara managed to hit him with a card and he was sent flying because...because I can okay! This! Is! Super Smash Broooooos.!

"Enough with the memes!" Shulk shouted, punching me.
"But Master Hand-" I started to say before Shulk punched me again.
"Shulk, I swear if you punch me again, I will violently murder everyone you care about right in front of you," I threatened her. She gave me a look that said,"I'm going to f*cking kill you," which I ignored. Meanwhile, Sara and Shara defeated Metal Face, causing Lauren and Kairi/Katy to flee.

"I'll be back!" They shouted together.

"Dog and Ljess are being kept in the seventh circle of Hell!" Shara shouted.

And so begins the main plot of our story. Finally.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22
The Kees to Hell

"Let me get this straight," Shulk said, "It really took twenty-one chapters for the plot to start?"
I nodded.

"So God and Jesus are in Hell?" Sara asked Shara.
"Yup, and to save them we have to get the seven keys by defeating the seven bosses that guard them!"

So they went back to the mansion, Dunban and Riki stalking them the whole way.

Meanwhile...
Marth was in a match with Captain Falcon. He got the Assist Trophy Summony-Thingy and held it over his head. Nothing happened.

"Huh?" Marth asked. Captain Falcon took this chance to Falcon Punch him.

"Oh shit!" Master Hand shouted, "Send someone in! Anyone!"

"What's wrong?" Master Hand's assistant, a white-haired girl named Mai, asked.
"Riki is missing! Shulk snuck out with Sara and Riki and Dunban must have followed them! Can you send someone in!? Anyone!?"

And so, Mai got to be an Assist Trophy for the rest of the day.

And back to Our Heroes...
"We have to do research!" Shulk shouted, "God I love research!"
"Have you ever written a letter to the Bionis starting with 'Dear Bionis, I'm so alone...'?"
"What, no! I have a girlfriend!" Shulk shouted. Sara posed, unaware she was actually talking about Fiora.

"Anyway, let's go to the library," Shulk said, awkwardly, having noticed Sara's posing. Sara and Shara groaned. Sara hated research, and Shara just wanted to play video games. So when they went back to the mansion (and Riki went back to the Assist Trophy Room (a room where the Assist Trophies waited during matches) don't worry) Sara, Shulk, and Shara went to the library. They got Crazy Hand to help them find books on evil people. It took a little while, 'cause the library was kinda a mess (since the mansion lacked a librarian, Mai usually organized the library during her free time), but the eventually found the books they needed. Then Ganondorf just randomly wandered by.

"Hey Ganondorf, you're evil right?" Shulk asked.
"No duh," Shara snorted.
Instead of answering, Ganondorf said, "A Demon King is never late, nor is he early. He arrives presisly when he means to."
"After him!" Sara shouted, and she, along with Shulk and Shara, chased after the Demon King.

Chapter Text

Chapter 23
The Farst Kee

Sara, Shulk, and Shara chased Ganondorf to the roof.

"What did I even do!?" Ganondorf shouted, "Other then be evil!? And the King of Evil!?"
"Well, you're a boss," Shara pointed out.
"So!?" Ganondorf shouted.

Shara stopped to catch her breath. Ganondorf took this as an opportunity to start floating.
Let's play Dead Man's Volley. But a are you a big enough boy to return these vollies?" He asked.
There were a few seconds of awkward silence, broken only by Shulk who said, "But none of us are boys."
"Hey, I didn't make up the quote," Ganondorf said, throwing a ball of energy, "I did make up the game though..."
"Actually, it was Agahnim," Shara pointed out.
"Ocarina of Time is before A Link to the Past," Ganondorf argued.
"Skyward Sword was first, so Ghihrahim invented it," Shara said.

Instead of continuing to argue, Ganondorf threw another ball of energy. Shulk managed to hit it back in Ganondorf's general direction by wildly flailing the Monado around in all directions.

"Looks like you're not a big enough boy..." Ganondorf was cut off by the Monado flying by his face.
"That's no fair," he whined.
"I'm not a boy!" Shulk shouted like mad.

"Oh shit!" She shouted, realizing that of was a very stupid idea to throw her only weapon off the roof.

"Need some help," said Link from Pennsylvania I mean Link. He, along with T.L., Zelda, Alice, and Bo had somehow managed to just casually walk up to the roof tottaly undetected. It may have something to do with the fact that Shulk was still shouting, "Oh shit!" at the top of her lungs. She can get a little over emotional at times.

Meanwhile, Shara was throwing cards at Ganondorf. It's not very effective... Ganondorf then shot another ball of energy at them. Link hit it back at him. This continued until Ganondorf missed and was hit by his own ball of energy. Zelda shot him with a Light Arrow and he fell to the roof. Everyone (except Shulk, who was still shouting, "Oh shit!" and generally ignoring her surroundings) started attacking him. Suddenly, Sara was grabbed from behind.
"Die you pies of shit!" shouted Bowser as he threw her off the roof. The water in the convenient lake broke her fall. But that's Xenoblade logic! She should be dead!
"Hey Sara, can you grab the Monado for me!" Shulk shouted, sticking her head off the roof.
Sara looked around until she saw said lightsaber-esqe sword floating next to her in the water. So she had to run all the way through the mansion back to the roof. She didn't notice when Mai started following her.
"What is going on!?" Mai asked when she got to the roof. She had donned a monacle and a hat with a blue flower pin and braided her waist length hair while she was chasing Sara.

"Seriously?" she asked, taking her hair out of it's braid and throwing the monacle and hat off the roof.

"They're trying' to steal ma' keese!" Ganondorf shouted.
"Would you give me the keese so I can give it to Master Hand?" Mai asked him. He handed her the bat-like creature. It was quite an odd sight, the King of Evil handing a keese in a cage to a white-haired fifteen year-old in a kimono, but then again, Mai WAS Master Hand's assistant.
"I thought we needed keyes, not keese," Shulk said to Shara, who shrugged.

"I will put this in Master Hand's orifice," Mai said.
In response to all the strange looks she got, she said, "What? Master Hand likes to put thing in his glove."

After she left, Ganondorf started throwing tampons at Sara, who, after returning the Monado to Shulk, tried to murder him with her dad's shotgun.

Chapter Text

Chapter 24
Bowsar Has the Secant Lee

The next few days, all the Smash Bros. did research on evil people. Fiora, Reyn, and Salla helped them after they got out of Detention. Well, Fiora and Reyn did. Salla read manga most of the time. They also had help from Doctor Mario and the Duck Hunt Dog. Though the "Dick Cunt Doug" (her words, not mine) couldn't do anything but "barf". He mostly ran around the library, laughing obnoxiously at everyone.

"Damn dog," Samus said, shooting at said dog, "Why is it even here?"
"Umm... maybe Master Hand thinks it's funny...?" Lucina said, sliding her chair away from Samus.
"Well if that's true, Master Hand's an asshole," Samus said.

"Hey Sara, go get us some snacks!" Palutena shouted.
"Okay!" Sara shouted, running out of the library. Immediately, all the Smash Bros. started messing around.

"Shulk, I have to talk to you, "Fiora said, half-dragging Shulk by the hand to another part of the library.

"I'm pregnant," she said.
"Um... I-I kinda guessed that..." Shulk said.
"Aw, what kind of a reaction is that?" Fiora asked, pouting, "I expected you to freak out."
"I-I did when... when I first figured... it out..." Shulk said, blushing.
"Oh okay," Fiora said happily. Then her face fell and she said, "I have no idea what to do. Sara'll think I'm a slut and probably try to kill me."
"I-I know!" Shulk said, "Tell her that Bowser raped you."
"Why..." Fiora asked.
"Sara's written a scary amount of you/Bowser fanfiction," Shulk explained.
"Oh... okay..." Fiora said, obviously disturbed.
"S-sorry, I-" Shulk said.
"It's fine," Fiora cut her off, waving her hand, "You didn't do anything."
Am I... n-never mind," Shulk said.
"I-I'm gonna go now..." Fiora said, walking away.
"Um... yeah," Shulk mumbled.

Meanwhile...
Sara was walking back to the library from the cafeteria, arms full of snacks, when she saw Dark Pit. She was going to ask him if he was an emu, but quickly changed her mind, convinced he was gay. She walked into the library shortly before Fiora ran back in.

After stopping to catch her breath, she said, "Guys, Bowser raped me and now I'm pregnant."
"Water you gona do nao?" Sara asked.
"Uh... nothing, I guess," Fiora said, avoiding looking at Shulk.
"You know what this means right?" asked Palutena.
"From now on, we're enemies?" Lucina asked confused.
"What, no," Palutena said at the same time everyone else shouted, "BABY SHOWER!!!!!"

Chapter Text

Chapter 25
Tha Babby

A week later, Shulk, Shara, Salla, and Sara were at the mall looking for presents for Fiora's baby. They decided to split up and look for clues and meet back at Chickfillet in an hour.

(Spongebob voice) One hour later...
Salla had gotten Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Shara had gotten Xenoblade Chronicles ("It has their mother," she'd said. "It also has their mother's death," Shulk had pointed out. Shara made a face), and Sara had gotten the Bible. Shulk came back empty handed, claiming that nothing she saw was worthy of belonging to Fiora's child. And Sara STILL didn't realize that Shulk obviously loves Fiora and not Melia, okay!? I mean her.

They next day was the baby shower. All the girls were there, including Shulk, Melia, Sharla, and Rose (my OC. Read "Random Stuff in Xenoblade" for details). They went to a nice-ish restaurant in the town.
"Hello, I'm Brock, can I get you something to drink?" asked the waiter, who happened to be Brock. Just in case you couldn't have guessed that on your own.
"Sure, I guess," Fiora said.
Brock stared at her, "What's your name?" he asked her.
"Fiora, why?" she said.
"Will you marry me Fiora!?" Brock shouted, grabbing her hands.

Five seconds later, Dunban burst into the restaurant, sword in hand, followed by Reyn and Riki. Dunban and Riki had been stalking Shulk again, and the hotel that Reyn, Fiora, Melia, Rose, and Sharla had been staying at was right across the street. Before Brock knew what was happening, their was a sword pointed directly at his neck. Shulk was literally being sat on by Rose because she was trying to stand up holding a butter knife.
"Brock, what're you doing here?" Bo asked, completely oblivious.
"I'm working part-time. Do you know how expensive it is to pretend to be the president? But I'd do anything for you, Bo?" Brock said. Bo sighed.
"I'm not going to marry you," Fiora said, "I don't even know you. And anyway, I have a boyfriend."
"NOOOOOOOO!" Brock shouted, running to hide in the corner. Dunban sheathed (yay, finally using the word "sheathed") his sword and, along with Reyn and Riki, retreated to outside the restaurant and stared in the window like creepers. Rose got off of Shulk.

Then everyone gave Fiora the presents they'd gotten her baby. They were mostly normal, Sara, Salla, and Shara's gifts aside, along with a giant stuffed panda from a certain dorky swords woman. Shulk still hadn't found anything for the baby, but she promised she'd find something soon.
"I mean, the baby can't be coming THAT soon, right?" she said.
Suddenly, Fiora collapsed suddenly.
"NOOO!" Shulk shouted, "Fioooraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!"
She then dropped to her knees next to Fiora.
"Shulk, I'm fine," Fiora said holding her stomach. She tried to use Shulk's shoulder to pull herself into a sitting position.
"Ow..." she said, leaning against Shulk. Shulk wrapped her arms around her.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Aw geeze," Fiora mumbled, "You jinxed it Shulk."
"Is the baby on the hoof?" Shulk shouted, "I-I mean, is the baby coming?"
"I-I think," Fiora mumbled, "Ow."
Shulk hugged Fiora and kissed her forehead.

Meanwhile, Palutena was showing Melia, Sharla, and Rose her imitation of a duck (all the Smash Bros. had seen it alredy). It was awful.
"Quack!" she said, waddling around the restaurant.
The group as a whole got lots of strange looks, probably due to the many different races there. And ya' know, a GODDESS was imitating a duck.

"Yo! Waiter Brock!" Fiora shouted.
Brock immediately ran up to her ( Waiter was his trainer class while he was at the restaurant).
"Have you changed your mind?" he asked.
"No!" Fiora shouted as Shulk put down the butter knife she hadn't even realized she'd picked up.
"I'm going into labor!" Fiora shouted.
"Do you want me to deliver the baby?" Brock asked.
"No!" Fiora shouted as Shulk picked up the butter knife again, "Call a taxi!"

Ten minutes later, everyone, including Dunban, Reyn, and Riki, were squeezed into a taxi going to the hospital. That took another five minutes (Super Smash Bros. Town (yes, that is the name of the town. And you wondered why I never mentioned it before) wasn't very big, so most people walked everywhere, unless they were in a rush, in which case they took a taxi).

"What's happening?" asked Doctor Mario, who volunteered at the hospital in his free time.
Everyone struggled out of the taxi while he watched.
"Would you like to donate money to buy an ambulance?" he asked.
"Okay," said Alice, who was the first one out.
"That's not why we're here," said Shulk, who was the second one out, "Fiora's gone into labor."
"Oh," said Doctor Mario.

When everyone got out of the taxi, they followed Doctor Mario to a hospital room. They were then immediately kicked out, with the exception of Fiora and Shulk, who was refusing to leave.

An hour later...
After the baby was born, everyone barged into the room (except Sara, who had fallen asleep). Fiora sat on the bed holding a newborn baby girl, looking tired, but happy. Shulk sat next to her, and she rested her hand on Fiora's forearm.
"Let's call this character... Vergil," Lucina said over dramatically.
Fiora made a face, "No! Her name is Olivia," she said.
"Aw, that's a stupid name," Lucina said, pouting
"Hey!" shouted Olivia from Awakening. When she realized everyone was staring at her, she made a speaking noise and ran out of the room.
"Nooo! Oliviaaaa!" I shouted after her, "I love you! Come back!"
"I mean, why not name her... Farina? Or... Florina?" Lucina asked.
"Yeah!" Alice shouted, "Or... or Vaida! Or Lyndis! Or... uh... Limstella!"
Then Bowser walked into The Room.
"We're getting married," he said to Fiora.
"NOOOOOO!" Shulk shouted.

After that, Shulk refused to leave until Mai came and shouted at her around eleven.

The next day, Shulk went back to the hospital. She was holding an old Nopon doll from when she was younger and male. They were quite popular in Colony 9 back then. After a nurse told her that Fiora was still asleep, she wrote a note, which along with the doll, she gave to the nurse. She told the nurse to give the doll and the note to For before she left to go back to the mansion.

Chapter Text

Chapter 26
The Wedan Off Foira and Bowsar

Literally the same day Fiora was allowed out of the hospital, Bowser told her to choose some bridesmaids 'cause he was serious about marrrying her. He'd heard about Shulk's advice and wanted to prove he wasn't a bad person. When Fiora pointed out that forcing someone to marry you is something villains do, he said that she could either marry him or get killed by Sara (possibly, no one was really sure what Sara'd do).

So after Fiora chose her bridesmaids (by shouting, "(name of bridesmaid), I choose you!"), they went dress shopping. The bridesmaids had to wear lavender. Alice was banished from the store (by Fiora) after she started humming the Lavender Town theme nonstop.

A week later...
Fiora had insisted on involving as many of the Smash Bros. as possible in their wedding , so Freya (the female Villager) and Xiao Lucina were the Flower Girls and Pedro (the male Villager) and Ness were the Ring Bears. They wore bear suits and everything. Then Sharla and Reyn walked down the aisle, followed by Link and Zelda, Riki and Rosalina, Mario and Peach, Rose and Browser Junior, Bo and Luigi, Alice and King Dedede, Sara and a Goomba, and finally Melia and Browser, the Best Man and the Maid of Honor. Melia was voted Maid of Honor by my Islanders, 41 to 30. But as Luigi said, there's more then one correct answer. Shulk was forced to babysit Olivia.
"Roselia!" shouted the Roselia that had somehow gotten into the mansion.
"Mai!" Master Hand shouted.
"Yes sir!" she shouted, grabbing the Roselia and throwing it outside.
Then Fiora and Dunban walked down the aisle. Dunban was immediately tied and handcuffed to his chair by Mai.

Then Pit started the ceremony.
"Heyo people! I'm Pit!" he shouted to light applause.
"So, uh, yeah!" he continued after the applause stopped, "These two," he gestured to Bowser and Fiora, "Are getting married! Yay! You'll be like stuffing and strawberry shortcake, and when one of you gets kidnapped the other one will rial everything to try and resc- oh. Wait, that was a dream I had last night!" he shouted, laughing awkwardly.
"Put, you don't have to shout!" Palutena shouted from her chair.
"Okay Lady Palutena!" he shouted, "Anyway! You'll be like Link and Zelda! Or Dean and Cas! Or Mario and Peach! Or Luigi and Daisy! Or Shulk and Fiora! Or Marth and Caeda/Shiida!"
"No!" I shouted.
"She's died!" Marth shouted, crying into Iris's shoulder as she patted his head.
"Or Elincia and Geoffrey or Chrom and Sumia or Ike anbd Soren or Michaiah and Sothe!" Pit continued, still shouting.
"No!" I shouted, "Not not not want!"
"Moving on!" Pit shouted, " Browser, do you take Fiora to be your wife?"
"I do," Browser said.
"Fiora, do you-"
"Wait!" Shulk shouted, running into the room holding Olivia, who was sleeping,"Don't say yes run away now! I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door! Don't wait, or say a single vow! You need to hear me out!"
"Shulk, water you doin here!?" Sara asked angrily.
"I'm here to reclaim my girlfriend!" Shulk shouted.
"You had your chance at the Chickfillet you!" Sara shouted.
"You had your chance at the Chickfillet you!" Browser shouted.
"That's what I'm saying! Argh!" Sara shouted, trying to throw Shulk out the window, but she sucks, so she failed.
"I'm sorry Shulk," Fiora said, "I do."
"You may kiss the bride!" Pit shouted.
Fiora made a face before kissing Bowser.
"NOOOOOOO!" Shulk shouted, falling to her knees, "Fioraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!"

Then they had the reception. Dunban was forcibly disarmed by Mai. Fiora had hired Light (the avatar from Xenoblade Chronicles X) to DJ. After they danced for a whole, they ate dinner before Melia gave a speech.
"Umm, well, it is an honor to be chosen over Sharla by the residents of Lollipop Island. I am well aware of the author's fondness for me, but that is relativly irrelevent-"
"No!" I interupted her, "The more I like you, the more screen time you get!"
Melia continued, "Umm... I am unsure of what to say, though I suppose congratulations are in order."
She was having trouble being her usual eloquent self with this pairing.
Then Bowser gave a speech.
"Bowser, you're married now. But don't let this stop you from kidnapping Peach."
He sat down and Sara gave a speech.
"Fiora remember to always listen to Bowser or you'll go to Hell. Also you look really pretty in your dress but I'M not a lesbian," she said.

Then they danced some more untill it was time for desert. Master Hand had offered to pay for the whole wedding, but Fiora felt bad and had some of the Smash Bros. bring deserts. And that is why Melia made a pie that gave everyone who at it food poisoning. Bowser was one of those people. He spent the rest of the reception in the bathroom. That's Also why the cake said, "Bowser if you lay a hand on Fiora I will f*cking kill you".
{"Are you sure about this?" aked the Baker.
"Yup,"said Dunban.
"Hey Dunban, can we get cookies!? Shulk asked, popping her head out of an aisle.
"So who's Fiora?" the Baker asked. He had seen a lot of strange shit in his ten years of being the only baker in Super Smash Bros. Town.
"Her girlfriend," Dunban said pointing to Shulk, who was now trying to get her foot out of a trash can.
"Oh," said the baker.}
Then the Smash Bros. danced some more. Shulk sat in her chair and poked her piece of cake with her fork.
"Hey," Fiora said tenderly, sitting down next to her
"Yo!" Bo shouted into the microphone that I forgot to mention earlier, "Can I have your attention, maybe?"
She was holding a bottle of Wine, which she soon dropped. She had explained that it was considered good luck to break a bottle of wine and then fix it with magic at weddings in Norad, but bad luck not to fix it.
"It's good luck to break a bottle of wine at weddings," she said, which as I just explained, is a lie.
"And these two definatly need it," she continued winking at Shulk.
"Okay, that's all," she said sitting down.
"What's with you two?" Dunban asked, sitting down next to Shulk. Shulk sighed.
"Oh, I actually have to go," Dunban said, standing up.
"Where?" Shulk asked, suddenly interested.
"Dunban pointed to where Reyn was talking to Sharla. "Me and Melia have been trying to get them together" he explained before running off, waving to Melia the whole way.
"Umm... you look nice," Shulk said, blushing profusely " Like really, really nice."
Fiora laughed.
"Let's dance," she said, pulling Shulk to her feet. As soon as they got to the dance floor, Light "coincidentally" put on a slow song. It just so happened that she was tied with Dunban for the title of World's Biggest Shulk/Fiora Fan. Reyn was a close second.

Sara, meanwhile, was dancing with "Marth" (you know what that means). When Sara kissed "Marth", "Marth" took off "his" mask, and it was... Lucina, duh.
"Boo! You whore!" Lucina shouted, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. She was still a little kid about stuff like that.

Meanwhile...
Bowser Junior tugged on Fiora's sleeve. He looked so cute in his little tuxedo! Ahem! I mean, he was wearing a tuxedo. Totally nailed it!
"Mama Fiora, can I go?" he asked, "I need to go write depressing fanfiction and depress the author. She always cries."
"I don't cry!" I shouted at him.
He raised an eyebrow and said, "Oh, really?"
He pulled a projector out of his "special place" and turned it on. It played a video of me on a computor.
"I'll go read fanfiction," I said in the video, "Hmm... how 'bout this one."
Five minutes later I was crying hysterically.
"Why Cas!? Why did you have to die!?" I asked, crying, "I.need to read something happy... BUT THERE'S NOTHING! I know! I can write happy fanfiction!"
The video ended.
"Okay, that was like a month ago!" I argued.
"Yet you still have't written anything happy..." he said.
"I'm busy!" I shouted and he pulled out a piece of paper and started to write.

Chapter Text

Chapter 27
Will the Cur be in Tim?!

Lucina put a burlap sack over Sara's head and dragged her out of the mansion to where Rune was waiting in a car. She had left right before Sara kissed Lucina.
"Get in," Lucina said, pushing Sara into the back seat before getting into the passenger's seat.
Rune took off driving.
"Mother, slow down!" Lucina shouted, "No one's following us!"
"I know!" Rune shouted back, slamming on the brakes, "I've just never driven before!"
She then started driving unbelieveably slowly. How slow, you ask. Well, let's just say a snail could move faster then the car.
"Mother, you can drive a little faster," Lucina said.
"O-okay," Rune said, speeding up a bit.
She had tried to sound calm, but Lucina could heat the fear in her voice and see that she was holding the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turned white.
"Mother, it's going to be fine," Lucina said reassuringly, putting a hand on Time's shoulder.
It was a technique she'd used in her time whenever someone, usually Yarne or Noire, was freaking out. It seemed to work, and Rune loosened her grip on the steering wheel. Of course, Sara chose this exact moment to try unlocking the door.
"W-what do I do?" Rune asked, panicked.
"Press that button," Lucina said calmly, pointing to tje button that locked the doors, and Rune pressed it. There was a moment of peace, before Sara rolled down the window and the whole goddamn thing happened again.
"Y'know what, let's just stop here," Lucina suggested.
So they got out of the car and tried to get Sara out, but she refused. Then, they noticed a pickup truck driving toward them at top speed. Rune and Lucina stared at it.
"Your father is insane," Rune said, totally deadpan.
Sara ran and jumped into the bed of the truck. Rune and Lucina got back into the car and drove off, Chrom right behind them.

Chapter Text

Chapter 28
Tha Chaise
So Chrom drove off after Rune and Lucina. Marth was in the passenger's seat, looking terrified. Sara was holding onto the side of the truck bed. The truck was surprisingly fast, considering Chrom had found it in the trash. He was also a slightly better driver then Rune, who kept swerving off the road. It probably had something to do with the fact that he'd convinced Captain Falcon to teach him how to drive. Then, Lucina started shooting at Chrom's truck with a Bronze Bow (she'd reclassed to an Assassin about five seconds before). Of course, this freaked Rune out even more, and she swerved all over the place once again.
"Mother, can you PLEASE just drive in a straight line!?" Lucina shouted.
"I'm sorry!" Time shouted, dropping the car suddenly before immediately driving off again.

"Geeze," Chrom groaned.
"Accelgor!" shouted the Accelgor that Chrom had accidentally stepped on.
Then they drove through an Amoongus Park. Lucina leaned out of the window and started shooting at Chrom's truck again, until Marth shot her with his own bow, causing her to stop her own bow.
"I'm sorry!" Marth yelled.
Lucina flashed him a thumbs up before sucking back into the car.
Just then, they heard a shout of, "I'll help you, Milord!"
"Huh?" Marth asked, confused.
"FREDERICK, NOOO!" Chrom shouted.
Frederick's car crashed right into the car Rune and Lucina were in.
"Nooo!" Chrom shouted again, jumping out of the truck and running to the car. Rune half fell out of the car and Chrom caught her. Her head was bleeding, but she smiled at Chrom, who hugged her. Frederick, meanwhile, was crying hysterically.
"I'm sorry Milooooord!" he sobbed.
He backed up, and Lucina for our of the car. She was holding her arm where Marth had shot her, trying to stop the bleeding.
"I think my arms broken," she announced.
Rune stood up.
"To the mansion!" she shouted, walking on the complete opposite direction of the mansion.
Chrom sighed and ran after her. He picked her up and carried her back to the truck.
"Chrom, put me down! I'm fine!" she protested, "I'm never getting in a car ever again!"
Chrom sighed again and put her in the passenger's seat.
"Lucina, get in the back," he said and she did.
"Frederick, can you drive Marth and Lucina back?" he asked.
"Of course, Milord," Frederick sobbed.
Chrom for in the driver's seat. Rune crosses her arms and sat pouring like a small child, until Chrom started driving, and she started freaking out again.

When they got back to the mansion, Chrom picked Time up again, ignoring her protests.
"What happened?" asked Master Hand, who been waiting by the door for them.
"Uhm..." Lucina laughed awkwardly.
"Sara," Chrom said, "Time and Lucina were just sitting on a car and Sara came and started shooting at them. Then when they tried to drive away, Data drive right into the side of their car."
Master Hand groaned.
"Is this true?" he asked Lucina.
She quickly nodded, still holding her arm, which wasn't doing much to stop the bleeding.
"You should probably go to the clinic," Master Hand said.

So they did. It turned out that Lucina's arm WAS broken, and Time had a concussion, so neither of them could fight in matches. Also, Lauren was back.

Chapter Text

Chapter 29
Lauren iz Evul!
"Hello, Sara," Lauren said.
Sara screamed and tried to shoot her.
"Ya' really... dodged a bullet on that one," Lucina said, "Yes, nailed it!"
"Do you when know what that means?" I asked her. She shrugged.
Lauren sighed.
"I'm really not in the mood for this right now," she said and walked away.
"We have to go to Chickfillet!" Shulk anounnced, "And eat the bloody chicken, and the bloody fillet!"
Shulk had never actually eaten at Chickfillet. She and Lucina had gotten lunch from Starbucks when they went back in Chapter 12.
"Shulk, Chickfillet doesn't have fillet," I whispered, "That's not even how you really spell it."
"But... I wanted fillet," Shulk sobbed.
"They do have pretty good fries, though," I said, "I remember when I was in preschool and we would get Chickfillet. But I hate them."
"Shulk. I'm sure we can find you some fillet," Lucina said.
She had her arm around Shulk, trying to stop her crying.
"We're you two even listening?" I demanded.

So then aaaall the "Christian" Smash Bros. went to Chickfillet. Lauren walked in.
"Hey, no lesbians!" the manager shouted, "And no demons!"
The last "rule" was directed at a little girl who'd walked into the resturant.
"Mister, I'm not a demon," the girl said, "And I just wanna order some food."
The employee that Shulk and Lucina had seen back in Chapter 12, Sadao, started laughing evilly.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Mister Maou," said another employee, a pink-haired girl who's nametag read "Chiho".
"Well, he's gonna blow his cover," said a marroon-haired young woman to a young man with shoulder length pale hair, who nodded.
"Sir, I can't work in a place with so much discrimination!" Sadao shouted, "I quit! Come on!"
He litterally dragged Chiho behind him as he ran out the door.
"But Mister Maou!" Chiho shouted, "Where're we gonna work!?"
"We'll find another fast-food place!" Sadao shouted.
"Well," Lucina said.
"That was weird," Shulk agreed.
The manager sighed.
"Anyway, get out, you two," he told Lauren and the girl.
"I'll leave it you serve this girl," Lauren sais stubbornly.
The manager sighed, "Fine," he said, "We'll serve the Hellspawn."
"No name calling, either," Lauren said.
"Thank you, Miss," the girl said, rolling up the sleeve of the enormous sweatshirt she was wearing.
Lauren slashed her a thumbs up as she left.
"You flamming idiot!" Shulk shouted at the manager.
"GOOOO! Ye children of the Yellow Turban!" Lucina shouted, throwing her chicken nuggets.
"Can I stay at your house?" Sara asked Fiora.
"Sure, Wynaut," Fiora said.

Chapter Text

Chapter 30
Lauren's Kee
That night, Sara slept on the floor of Bowser and Fiora's hotel room. Reyn, who had been sharing a room with Fiora, ended up sharing a room with Sharla, Melia, and Rose at Sharla's insistence. Sharla claimed it was so that Bowser and Fiora could do "husband and wife things" with a wink. Rose was convinced that Sharla wanted to sleep with Reyn, which scandalized Melia, despite the fact that she and Rose were sharing a bed.

Anyway!
Sara was terrified that Lauren would break into he hotel room, so she ended up being unable to sleep. I can relate. I've spent many sleepless nights terrified that the Slenderman was outside my window- what? So what if I'm terrified of the Slenderman? I mean, I'm not any more. And, okay, I might've been exagerating a little. There was only, like, two nights that I didn't get any sleep.

Anyway!
The next morning, Sara and Shulk had to fight Lauren and Ganondorf. Lauren ran toward Sara, who was so exhausted she could barely even move. Again, big mood. Shulk started to run toward her, but Ganondorf blocked her path. When he tried to punch her, Shulk simply used. Vision.
"Yes! I timed Vision right!" Shulk shouted, doing a little dance.
Ganondorf rubbed his head where Shulk's blade had collided with his skull.
"Hey Ganondorf," Shulk stopped dancing, "You have a sword. How come you never use it?"
"I don't know!" Ganondorf shouted, pulling out said sword and trying to stab Shulk with it.
"Oh shit!" Shulk shouted, running away.
Since they were fighting on the Battlefield and Shulk hadn't been paying attention, she ended up running off the stage.
"Oh shit!" she shouted again before jumping twice and using Air Slash to get back to the stage.
"Yeah!" she shouted, doing a dance again.
Ganondorf had fallen off the stage and Sara had hit Lauren with the Homerun Bat, meaning Sara and Shulk win the match.

Afterwards, Sara and Lucina were gonna walk to town, until they saw Lauren.
"Feel the power of my... MAAAGAAAAC!" she shouted.
She had meant to use that spell that Harry had used in Sara back in Chapter 9 (Petrificus Totalus, I think), but since she had never really understood why one had to shout the name of the spell for it to work, or mastered nonverbal magic, the spells she used were often random. This time, for example, she sumoned a beehive that fell on Lucina.
"NO NOT THE BEES!" Lucina shouted as the news started stinging her.
"Oh my gods, I'm SO sorry!" Lauren shouted, picking up the beehive and running away with it, causing the bees to chase her.
"Lucina, we're gonna break into the White House," Sara announced.
"Ow," Lucina said, running one of her many new stings.

Also, they got Bowser's keese. That happened back in Chapter 25 but I forgot to mention it.

Chapter Text

Chapter 31
Atekin tha Wite Hose

"Lucina, go get the Christian Smashers," Sara said.
"Smash Bros.!" I shouted, picking up a knife from the kitchen and pointing it at her.
Lucina ran off, wincing every step of the way.

An you later, Lucina had somehow managed to convince everyone who was in the mansion at that point in time (except Master Hand) to go to the tv room.
"Oh geeze no," Marth groaned, "What's Riki doing here?"
"Who?" Sara asked.
Marth pointed to Riki.
"The Nopon," he said, "The author always here distracted by his cuteness."
"No I don't!" I protested, taking my hands off my cheeks and turning to face Marth.
He raised his eyebrow and stole Bowser Jr's projector. He turned it on and it started playing a video of the tv while someone played Xenoblade.
After a few seconds, I started talking, "Uhm... oh my gods, stop everything, Riki's dancing!"
Then the video changed.
"Riki the tiger is doing the Tiger Dance! Kawaii!"
"Did you seriously take parts of my Xenoblade Let's Play to make a montage of me freaking out over Riki?"I asked Marth.
He nodded. We continued to watch in silence for several minutes.
"You can't see it, but I'm smiling right now. It's real big n' dorky," I said in the video in the video before Marth turned off the projector.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Shulk shouted, "I'm really eating it!"
"Riki want food!" Riki shouted tackling Shulk, causing her to make a squealing noise, and stole the jelly donut Shulk had been eating.
"Okay, we're gonna break into the White House!" Sara announced.
"Nope, I'm out!" Lucina said, backing away.
"Ow," she said when she dropped over Shulk, who was laying on the floor mourning the load of her jelly donut while Riki day in her stomach, eating said jelly donut.
"Lucinaaaa, I'm sorry!" Rune shouted when she got up.
She had started crying for some reason, and hugged Lucina.
"Ow! Mother!"
Morgan walked into The Room.
"What's going on?" he asked.
He ran across the room and hugged Lucina from behind.
"Ow!" Lucina shouted again.
Morgan had also started crying.
Lucina mouthed, "Help me," at Chrom, who just shrugged.

Then they went to the White House, though Time and Lucina were unable to fight. There were a bunch of Muslims and-
"Fool! This is Government Area 11 in a Donbun!" Dunban shouted, attacking one of the "Muslims".
Anyway, as I was saying, they started attacking the "Muslims", who were actually just Redeads. Wait, what? NOOOOOO! Not Redeads!

Then Sara, Shulk, and Lucina ran into the White House. Once inside, they saw Brick and Osama Bin Laden, AKA CD-I Link. Osama Bin Laden is dead, duh.
"I can't wait to bomb some Dodongos!" CD-I Link announced.
"He's the leader of the Muslims," Sara whispered to Shulk and Lucina, "Like how the Poop is the leader of the Christians."
Shulk started laughing hysterically, falling into one of the couches.
"No, he the leader of An Queda like how Validar was the leader of the Grimleal," Lucina said irritably.
"Who's Validar?" Shulk asked curiously, sitting up on the couch.
"My evil grandfather who tried to kill me," Lucina sighed.
"Your grandfather is evil?" Shulk asked, "Wow."
"Was," Lucina corrected him, "He's dead now."

Chapter Text

Chapter 32
Oboba and Ozama

Sara had to fight Brock and CD-I Link, and she had to do it alone because Lucina's arm was still broken and Shulk wasn't paying attention. She'd found a chessboard and was moving the peices around, mumbling to herself.
"What's up?" Lucina asked, sitting down next to Shulk.
"I can't talk now, I'm plotting Bowser's death," Shulk mumbled.
"Um... maybe you shouldn't," Lucina said.
"I can't help it if I'm crazy in love!" Shulk shouted.
"Riiiiiight," Lucina said, "Maybe you should consider her happiness, though. Right?"
"That's exactly the point," Shulk said, slamming one of the pieces down on the board, "She isn't happy with him."
"Okay," Lucina nodded, "Okay. Open that window and shout 'Bonjour'."
Shulk ran to the window, flung it open, and shouted, "Bonjour!"
"Bonjour!" shouted Solid Snake from the building next to the White House, which he was cleaning, presumably as part of some undercover... thing. Or I dunno, maybe he's just a broke ass fourty one (two? When does this even take place?) year old. I mean, the economy's in shambles.
"Ask him to kill Bowser," Lucina whispered.
"Can you kill Bowser?" Shulk asked Snake.
"I dunno," Snake said, "I'm pretty busy."
Either savin' the world of makin' money. But wait, he lives on a plane. What could he possibly need money for?
Snake closed the window.
"Who was that?" Shulk asked Lucina.
"The Man Who Makes The Impossible Possible," Lucina explained, "Anyway, let's wipe this bitch off the face of the earth."
She pulled a handgun out ofthe front of her shirt.
"Where did that come from!?" Shulk shouted, "Do you even know how to use a gun!? How do you even KNOW what a gun is!?"
"Shulk, we've been here for two months," Lucina said, "That's plenty of time to do research. Now, let's kill this motherf*cker."
She started shooting at CD-I Link.
"When I'm crouching, you can make me so the Duck Walk. Cool, huh?" CD-I Link said.
"No!" Shulk shouted, trying to stab him.
"HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE DUCK WALK!" CD-I Link shouted.
His voice has gotten really deep and he grew a lot bigger.
"He's a demon!" Shulk realized, barely dodging CD-I Link's sword.
"That explains a lot," Lucina said, shooting CD-I Link's eye out.
"Onix, use Tackle!" Brock shouted.
The three of them finally managed to kill CD-I Link. Then Brock for changed and they woke up Sara, who'd been knocked out by CD-I Link. So then Sara "uspered" the position of president. But Lauren was in the president's chair!

Chapter Text

Chapter 33
Sara Vertex Lauren
"Haha! I will kill you!" Lauren said, pulling a sword out of the desk.
"But I'm the real president and you're just an userper," Sara said.
"Says one usperper to another," Lauren mumbled.
Sara shit Lauren with her dad's shitgun. Lauren dodged the shit-bullet and ran up to Sara. She spun around, holding her sword over her head, before swinging it down into Sara's shoulder.
"Ow!" Sara shouted, dropping the shitgun.

Meanwhile, Shulk and Lucina were trying to come up with a backup plan in case Snake couldn't kill Bowser.
"We could pretend to rob him," Lucina suggested.
"No," Shulk said, hitting her head on the chair they were sitting under.
"I have it aaaall planned out. You can be Bowser," Lucina said, and turned on the radio.
"Pretend I'm shooting at you," she said.
"What!?"
Lucina started to sing, "All I wanna do is-" she shot the ceiling, "And a-" she opened a random cash register, "And take ya' money."
"NO!" Shulk shouted, "What if Fiora gets hurt?"
Lucina stopped singing, "That's where you come in. You'll take 'er somewhere before I come in. She'll be perfectly safe."
"Okay, that one's a maybe," Shulk said, and she and Lucina crawled back under the chair.

Several minutes later, Shulk shouted, "We're really planning it!"
Lucina clamped her hand over Shulk's mouth.
"Shut up, you idiot," she hissed.
Unfortunately, Shulk's shouting distracted Lauren, and Sara hit her over the head with her dad's shitgun, knocking her out. Then, Sara pointed some Nuuuucleaaaaar missiles at Pennsylvania, 'cause that's where Kairi/ Katy lives. Incidentally, I also live in Pennsylvania.
"You shouldn't have done that," Lucina said, holding her gun to the back of Sara's head.
"D-don't fire the missiles," Lauren said weakly, "I gave Katy the Keese."
"Why?" Shulk asked curiously.
"BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"Lauren shouted.
"Wait, her name's Katy?" Lucina asked.
"I always knew she was a lesbian," Sara said picking up her dad's shitgun, "It was obvious from that one song."
"Huh?" Shulk, Lucina, and Lauren asked.

Chapter Text

Chapter 34
Gettin Moar Keese

"Lucina, get all the Christian Smashers," Sara said.
"It's SMASH BROS.!" I shouted, grabbing Lauren's sword and pointing it at her.
So Lucina ran off to get all the "Christian" SMASH BROS.

They found Brock's Keese in a secret room under the library.

Then they went to the military airport to find an airplane. They all got in a helicopter. Sara got in the pilot's seat.
"Lucina, you're NOT going," Rune said, grabbing Lucina's non-broken wrist as she was about to get on the helicopter.
"But Mother-" Lucina protested.
"I'd honestly be surprised of that... thing... didn't crash in the middle of the ocean or... something," Rune said.
Lucina sighed, "Fine. But only if you and Father promise not to go either."
Rune shrugged, "That was my plan."

Meanwhile...
"Fiora, please don't go," Shulk said.
"Of course I won't," Fiora said, before smirking and wrapping her arms around Shulk's neck, "As long as you don't."
"Fine," Shulk said, also smirking.
Fiora kissed her cheek.

Still meanwhile...
"Junior, I want you to stay here," Bowser told Bowser Junior, "Go with Mama Fiora."
"Okay Dad," Bowser Junior said, running after Shulk and Fiora.
"They grow up so fast," Bowser told Mario proudly, "I'm sure he'll be trying to kill your kids soon."
"I hope not," Mario said.

Anyway!
After most of the Smash Bros. got on the helicopter, Sara took off. Surprisingly she didn't crash.
"Oh hey," No said, "I think I can see my old soccer coach."
"Please don't try waving to him," Link sighed, "You'll probably lose a hand or something."
Sara landed in Kairi/Katy's driveway. Kairi/Katy came out and have Sara Lauren's Keese.

Meanwhile...
Everyone who hadn't gone in the helicopter trip rode a bus back to the mansion. They spent most of the ride trying to calm down Rune. When they got back to the mansion, Shulk and Lucina continued their scheming.
"Wait, I have an idea!" Lucina shouted, running out of the room.
Give minutes later she came back, followed by Rune.
"Mother, can you help us plot Bowser's death?"
"Sure, Wynaut," Rune shrugged.

And back to Sara...
Well actually, Sara had already returned to the mansion, so all she did was steal Captain Falcon's Keese.

Chapter Text

Chapter 35
Tha Naxt Kee

The next day, Dark Pit, Pikachu, Mega Man, Samus, Captain Falcon, and Lucario had a dress rehersal for their production of The Wizard of Uzi, a play loosely based on The Wizard of Oz. Sara, Shulk, Lucina, Bo, and Palutena took said rehersal as an opportunity to steal Dark Pit's Keese.

"NO! You asscave!" Dark Pit shouted at Samus, who was playing the villain.
"ALICE YOU DASTARD!" Captain Falcon shouted in agreement.
"I get that you're pretty!" Samus shouted at Dark Pit, who was playing Mila, the main character. He was wearing a dress and black and purple hair extensions. He was having some trouble with his wings, though.

"You know, I tried out for Frodo," Shulk told Lucina.
"Who?" Lucina asked.
"The dog. But someone," Shulk glared at me, "Said I was the shittiest dog she'd ever seen."
"You kept trying to teach the audience lessons! That wasn't in the script! It's not that kinda play!" I protested.

"What are you- Lucina, what are you wearing?" Dark Pit asked.
"What's wrong with it?" Lucina asked.
She wearing the dress from her C Support with her mother.
"Evrything," Dark Pit said.
"How long have you been wearing that?" Shulk asked, staring at her.
"All day," she said, "Why?"
"'Cause you look ridiculous," Dark Pit said.
"Says the guy wearing a dress and hair extensions," Lucina said airily.
"It's for a play!" Dark Pit shouted, "What's your excuse?"
"I think I look fabulous," Lucina retorted, flipping her hair.
"Just take off the dress," Palutena said, annoyed.
Lucina poured and pulled the dress over her head.
"Don't worry, Mother said I couldn't without anything underneath," she said.
"Wonder why," Dark Pit mumbled sarcastically.
"Little help here," Lucina said, as the dress had gotten stuck.
Shulk sighed and pulled the dress off her, accidentally throwing it into the fire.
"Shulk, you threw my dress into the fire!" Lucina shouted.
"I-I'm sorry!" Shulk shouted, "How long was that even there!?"
"The whole time," was Dark Pit's deadpan response, "Now, is there an actual reason you're here, or are you just trying to sabotage our play?"
"We want your Keese," Sara said.
"Yeah, no," Dark Pit said, "Not happenin'. We need it for the play."

Bo, meanwhile was cuddling with Pikachu.
Shulk stared at her, "You gonna help, or..."
"Nah," No said cheerfully.

"Pittoo, please give us the Keese," Palutena said.
"I sure as Hell won't of you don't stop calling me that!" he shouted.
"Ooh, he said a no-no word," said Pit who was standing (on the edge... heehee, I'm kidding) in the doorway.
"Pit, what're you doing?" Palutena said, "Go drink your milk."
"Yes, Lady Palutena," Pit said bad ran off.

Meanwhile, Lucina was hugging a sobbing Shulk.
"You can... but me a new dress," Lucina said desperately.
"Okay," Shulk said, immediately cheering up.

Just then, the door opened.
"Sorry I'm late, I had other business to attend to," said Fiora.
"What're you doing here?" Shulk asked her.
"I'm the assistant director," Fiora explained.
"Assistant director?" asked Shulk, who wanted ANSWERS.
"Yeah, but that really means I'm basically in charge of everything while the author's busy freaking out over snakes and phone cases," Fiora sighed.
"Okay one: it's Snake, singular, capital S, and Otacon, not Otterbox," I protested, "And two: yeah, I like Otasune, sue me. You like Zelink."
"Okay, those aren't words," Fiora said.
"Yeah, they're ships," I said.
"What're we talking about boatsnow?"
"Oh my GOD," I half groaned, half laughed. Groan-laughed, if you will.
"So, the author's the director?" Shulk asked, trying to get back on topic.
"Yeah," Fiora nodded, "She also wrote the play."
"Wow," was Shulk's only reaction.
"You seriously couldn't tell?" I laughed, "There's a dog named FRODO."

"Anyway, why aren't you practising?" Fiora yelled at the actors.
"They want the Keese," Dark Pit said angrilly.
"Just give it back when you're done, 'kay," Fiora said, plucking the Keese from Dark Pit's hands and handing it to Lucina.
"But-"
"NO buts," Fiora said firmly.
"Holy shit, you are a mom," Drak Pit said.
"Shut up."
"Hey sorry," Rune said, interupting their bickering.
She glanced at the fire and the remains of Lucina's dress and smiled.
"Mother, what're you doing here?" Lucina asked.
"I'm in cahrge of props," Rune explained.
"Ah," Lucina said.

Chapter Text

Chapter 36
The Otter Kee

It was a few days later, and I was giving a speech.
"And that is why Dual Blades are the best weapon type ever," I finished, jumping off the desk I was standing on, "Any questions?"
"Yeah," Shulk raised her hand, "What does this have to do with the story?"
"Ya' know what, screw you Shulk," I said, "The only plot related thing that happens this chapter is Sara reads a newspaper! No one wants to read 'bout that!"

As if I'm cue, a tall, red-haired girl walked into the room. She was wearing a black tank top with a pale purple skirt and combat boots, and she was really big. But only on one particular part of her upper body.
"I was in the library and I found this," she said, holding up a newspaper.
Lucina staredwat her, "The Hell're you?"
"Um... I'm Emily," said the girl, staring at Lucina.
"And that newspaper's important because..." Shulk said.
"It's the Hall Times," Emily explained.
"Lemme see that," Shulk said, grabbing the newspaper from Emily.
"What's it say?" Lucina asked, looking over Shulk's shoulder.
"Our king recently lost his job again," Shulk read, "Also, The Evil in Life And Death Club Founded by Huey Emmerich has just gained a new member- Dicks-"
"That's not important," Lucina interupted, snatching the newspaper from Shulk, "Let's see... here! After losing his job, Our king his the remaining Keese deep in Subspace. Hopefully it stays safe and Sara Osbourne doesn't ruin our lifestyle."
"Do we have to tell Sara?" Shulk complained, "I don't wanna ruin people's lives. Even if they are... already dead. And in Hell."
Lucina sighed, "We have to," she said, "Then Sara'll leave sooner and we can go back to our normal lives."
"Good point," Shulk said, and the two complete friends set out to search for Sara.

Chapter Text

Chapter 37
Invashun of Subspas

"I don't wannaaaa," Shulk complained.
"Shut up," Lucina hissed.
They were preparing to enter Subspace, and Shulk still didn't want to.

Lucina dragged Shulk into a closet.
"Shulk, we have to," Lucina said, "Otherwise we'll prolly die."
"I don't caaare," Shulk whined.
"Do you want Fiora to die?" Lucina asked.
"No, but..." Shulk mumbled.
"What about your daughter?"
"No, but..." Shulk mumbled, before realizing what Lucina had said, "Wait, WHAT?"
"What did you expect?" Lucina asked, smirking.
"U-um... I dunno... ah..."
After several seconds of stuttering, Shulk said, "I'm any case, no. I don't want my... daughter... to die."
"Then let's go!" Lucina said, walking out out of the closet.
Shulk stayed where she was. Lucina walked back in.
"You're not moving," she said.
"I know," Shulk mumbled.
Lucina sighed.
"Yo! Fiora!" she shouted.
"Yeah?" said Fiora, who was walking by the closet.
"Shulk needs a hug," Lucina told her.
Fiora walked over to Shulk, who was moping on the corner, and hugged her (BTW, the closet they were in was pretty big. Like, big enough that Bowser and Ganondorf could fit inside comfortably.
"'Kay, well, you two have fun," Lucina said, ducking out of the closet.
She closed the door and sighed loudly.
"Y'know what, doesn't matter," she said.

Lucina ran off to join the rest of the Smash Bros. Then they went into Subspace. Nothing particularly interesting happened for a little while, so Imma skip that. Well, other then a few fights. That is, until Lucina saw a giant Grima robot. She started shooting it until she ran out of bullets and arrows, then collapsed on the floor crying while Chrom and Rune defeated it. Then they got to Stan's ultimate champion. It was... Sara's mother!

Chapter Text

Chapter 38
My Mothor is Evil

I'm closer inspection, it wasn't Sara's mother. Her skin was a little too dark, her hair was more white then blonde, her face was way too young, and she had red eyes. Oops.

"You shouln't spread false information like that!" Shulk shouted at me.
"When did you get here?" Lucina yelped.
"I've been here the whole time," Shulk said.
"Anyway, what're we gonna do ' bout her?" Lucina asked, pointing to the young woman.
She wore armor over a short dress with bell sleeves and knee length boots with thigh length socks.
"I dunno," Shulk said.
The girl started floating.
"My name is Mio," she said with a slight English accent.
She raised her hand and a longsword appeared in it and a shield appeared on her arm.
"In the name of Lord Satan I must kill you," she said.
"Satan? I thought you served Stan," Shulk said.
"No," Mio said, "I serve My Lord Satan."
"What kinda name is Mio, anyway?" Sara asked.
"It is the name My Lord gave me," Mio said, "But enough talk. Have at you!"
She pointed her sword at Sara.
"Wait!" Lucina shouted, "Give us the Keese and we'll leave."
"I do not wish to fight you," Mio said, "But you leave me no choice. I am sorry."
She flew at Sara, and Sara started shooting at her. Most of the shit-bullets bounced off her armor or her shield, but one hit her in the shoulder. Mio swing her sword, hitting Sara in the side. Sara go get over the head with her dad's shitgun, knocking her out. So then they got the final Keese.

Chapter Text

Chapter 39
Mister Care

Sara, Shulk, and Lucina snuck ininto Master Hand's office to steal Ganondorf's Keese.
"I really don't wanna do this," Shulk mumbled.
"Then let's go," Lucina whispered, "I'm sure Sara won't notice."
So they snuck away to watch YouTube Poop.

"Yes! I got the Keese!" Sara shouted at the top of her lungs, apparently forgetting she was supposed to be stealthy, "Now I just need to sneak back out!"
"Not so fast!" Master Hand shouted.
He'd been heading back to his office when he ran into Shulk and Lucina, who told him that Sara was in his office. And if course, he eard Sara yelling.

Sara took ou her dad's shitgun and started shooting at Master Hand. Master Hand sighed and snapped his fingers, teleporting the shitgun into his palm.
"Then I'll... I'll..." Sara said trying to think of something.
Unfortunately, she forgot she's a total idiot. Master Hand held out the Keese.
"Take it," he said.
Sara stared at him, "Why? I thought you hated me."
"Believe me I do. You made me give out detentions, and you made me so angry, I felt like I was back in my 'angsty teen' years."
Then be turned and said, "If you want to know more about my 'angsty teen' years, read A Tale of Two Hands, coming soon," before flashing a thumbs up.
"Way to spoil it," I mumbled.
"Anyway," Master Han said, turning back to Sara, ""No matter how much I wanted to kill you, I couldn't. Mostly because your parents would die me. But also because, as annoying and mean as you may be, you're still just a girl. You're a product of your upbringing, but I hope you soon realized the error of your ways. But I still want you out of my mansion. So take it."

Sara did and walked to where the Smash Bros. were gathered around the dormant volcano in the backyard.
"It's deeeeefinately the entrance to Tell guys," Dark Pit said sarcastically, "I know 'cause I was evil."
So Sara opened the door with the Keese (I'll leave it to your imagination how that worked, just know that no animals were harmed) and everyone went into "Hell". It was actually just an old bomb shelter from before Super Smash Bros. Town was even founded.

Chapter Text

Chapter 40
Jorni Throw Hell

They walked into the bomb shelter and were attacked by "demons". They were actually actors hired by Master Hand for a ghost tour of the shelter. No one was really sure why or when the shelter had been built, so there were plenty of ghost stories about it. Master Hand had decided to take advantage of this to earn some extra money for groceries and stuff, and so began the ghost tours.

Anyway!
They defeated the actors, but they just kept coming.
"Ono! They just keep comin'!" Sara shouted.
"Yes, I just said that!" I shouted as one of the actors shouted, "Feel the power of my...MAGAAAAAC!"
"You flaming idiot!" I shouted back.
"Heh heh... It looks like my stone soldiers... did not work this time," Shulk said.
"You challenge me with trickery... I don't beLIEVE in MAgIC... ONWARD!" Lucina shouted.
"Okay, everyone just shut up!" I shouted.
So they went further and was Stan.
"STAAAAAAAN!" Sara shouted.
Stan sighed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 41
Sara Fits Satin

"I'm going to kill you, Stan," Sara said, pulling out her dad's shitgun.
"Fine," Stan said, "I don't even care anymore."
So then Sara shot him.
"Geeze, he was clearly depressed!" Lucina shouted, "And suicidal! You don't kill people like that, you get them help!"
Sara ignored her and grabbed the key laying next to Stan, which she used to unlock the door on the other side of the room. She walked into the room and saw Ginny (in Woolly form) and Popcorn playing together.
When Ginny noticed Sara, he turned back into his human form and said, "Thank me, we've been stuck her for months." despite the obviously open door on the other side of the room. Then they went back to the mansion, where Master Hand teleported Sara to South Carolina, AKA home.

But that's not the end of the story.
As soon as Sara left, the Smash Bros. three a party.
"Hey Shulk!" I shouted, "I need to talk to ya'!"
Shulk followed me into another room.
"What's up?" she asked.
I snapped my fingers.
"There. Now you're male again," I said.
Shulk stared at me, "How did you..."
"Heh heh... let's just say I've got a crap-ton of powers I never use.
"I'm going to refrain from asking why you didn't do this earlier."
"Hey, I thought it'd make things more interesting. And it did, didn't it?" I shrugged, "Now go."
"You're kind of a bitch, you know?" Shulk said as I pushed him back into the TV room.
"Yeah, I know," I said, waving to Pit.
"Oh hey," Pit said loudly, "Did y'all know I'm not technically able to marry couples? Do really, Bowser and Fiora aren't even married."
"Yes, I did. Who're you talking to?" Palutena asked.
Dark Pit sighed.

Shulk, meanwhile, was makin' his way downtown, walkin' fast- sorry- over to where Fiora was talking to Melia.
"Hey Fiora," Shulk said, "Drop everything now, meet me in the pourin' rain."
Then he ran outside. Fiora followed, after entrusting her daughter's safety to Lucina, who had been playing with her younger self.

"Shulk, I really think you need to stop listening to Taylor Swift," Fiora said.
"Hey Fiora," Shulk said, playing with something behind his back.
"What is it? Just come out and say it," Fiora said.
"Equivalent Exchange!" Shulk shouted, "S-sorry, that's not... I wanna raise our daughter together!"
"Did Lucina tell you?" Fiora asked.
Shulk nodded.
"That's still... I mean it is but... Jesus, this is a disaster," Shulk said with a nervous giggle, "Just... here."
He handed her a small box.
"What's this?" she asked.
"Open it."
Fiora did. Inside was a ring.
"Oh my God, Shulk, are to proposing?" Fiora laughed.
"Uh, yeah," Shulk said, blushing heavily, "So, uh... what d'you say?"
"Of course, you dork," Fiora said.
They kissed.

Meanwhile...
"Hmm... our plan is almost complete," said a man sitting at a computer, "Now we just need to-"
The door opened and Sharla and Reyn walked in.
"Hey Dunban," Sharla said.
"I told you we have to use code names," the man, obviously Dunban, said, incredibly annoyed, "I'm Dunslam, you're Sharles, and he's," here he gestured to Reyn, "Reeree."
Sharla sighed and shook her head, "Fine, Dunslam, I just came to tell you that these code names are unnessecary, 'cause Shulk and Fiora are getting married."
"Alas, our job is never complete. Reeree, you find more people to ship, and Sharles, you recruit more members," Dunban said.
Reyn and Sharla left the room.
"Luckily, we already have our next assignment. Malamar!"
Melia walked out of the closet.
"Follow them," Dunban told her, "And lock them in a closet or something."
"I do not quite grasp the purpose of this organization," Melia said, "However, I will do as you say."
Then she walked out of the room.
"We, The Shippers, will get as many couples together as we can," Dunban announced dramatically
"Dundun need stop talking to himself," said Riki, who was walking by the Shipping Room.
THE END

Chapter Text

BONUS
Supper Smash Bros.: Mishonh From God 2: The Revenger of Satin and Obaba!!!

A few weeks after Sara and Lauren got back from Smash, they went to the beach. Lauren was wearing a bikini, and that fact was apparently critically important. They watched some guys play "Bitch Volleyball". Thankfully, no animals were harmed.

Suddenly, they saw somebody running toward them across the ocean. It was... Weegee! Weegee is Jeebus, guys. Apparently he can walk on water. That's what Peebers said.

As he ran, they could hear someone singing, "Luigi, I just want to touch you..." If you know what I'm talking about, you probably know the rest. If you don't... I hate you! GTFO! Please notice me, Senpai! I'm kidding, I love you.

Anyway!
As Luigi got closer (and the song continued in a loop) Lauren noticed that he was actually carrying a young girl on his shoulders. Sara, meanwhile, was stating at Lauren's chest. Not very subtle.

When Luigi made it to the shore, he practically collapsed to allow the girl to get off his shoulders.
"Thank you Lord Sonic!" he yelled to the sky.
Meanwhile, the girl, who couldn't have been older then four, walked up to Sara and Lauren.
My my my name is is Jeebus," she said.
I dunno who she is. She had lavender hair and eyes, and she wore a simple green dress.
"And and and Satin and Stan and Brock are back," she said.
"Oh no," Lauren said sarcastically," Satin and Stan and Brock are baaaaack. Whatever shall we dooooo?"
"You you have to come with us," the girl said.
She climbed back into Luigi's shoulders and he ran back across the ocean. Sara and Lauren followed in surfboards. Lauren was pretty good (fingerguns), but Sara was terrible.

As they surfed, they heard the same man from earlier singing, "Surfing high on this thing, but not really moving, still surfing on this thin, still not really moving."
Don't judge me! Please notice me, Senpai!

Luigi, of course, would never mention the many times he considered drowning Sara.