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➤ 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀𝙎 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘼𝙐𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙍

Hello from my part of the world to yours! A few things to note before we dive into this story. 

➥ First, 𝘾𝙒/𝙏𝙒

The following topics may be mentioned, addressed, discussed, or written through this fic. Any chapter that will contain any of the following will be marked as such. Any scenes that fall into darker territory or have greater description will be given a warning, as well as space to skip entirely. 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙘𝙨 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙩, 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜.

POSSIBLE CW/TW: Drugs and alcohol use, sexual themes and implications, sexual acts, violence, blood, medical procedures, hospital stays, mentions of previously endured childhood trauma and abuse, death, PTSD, mental health struggles and discussions, depression, 𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙪𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙖𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙢.

CW/TW will be addressed, added, and altered as needed for the story. 

➥ Secondly, disclaimers

This fic is my take on an AU plot with the use of AoT characters and the universe. With that, there 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 be characters that will be written differently than they are depicted in the show. This is a fanfic, which means there will be creative liberties taken for the plot, character development, etc. 

This does not mean I'm not open to criticism, critiques, etc. What it does mean, is you may not like how I write characters or scenarios for how you may see them. 

So please, don't be upset with me if some characters are altered. I promise, it's done for the reason of plot. On the same token, I won't be upset if you decide this fic isn't for you due to certain depictions. 

➥ Third, Plot

This is a 𝙨𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙗𝙪𝙧𝙣 plot. This is going to contain a lengthy build up, learning the characters, and the dynamics at play. This will NOT be rushed; this will NOT be something that jumps straight into romance by the end of chapter one. There's going to be development, the build from strangers to learning who they are, discovering parts of their lives that they keep hidden from the world, and dealing with the struggles that life throws at them. 

If slow burn isn't your style, then I don't know how well you'll like my writing style, but I hope it's enough for you to stick around ♡

I hope you enjoy the life and creation of Violet Ackerman ♡

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ও Violet Hana Ackerman (OC)(20) ⇢ Youngest cousin to Levi and Mikasa Ackerman, studying to become a Child Therapist. She's entering her second year at Paradis State University, a front runner for both the Track and Field team and the Volleyball team. A deceased mother and a father she refused to speak of, she was raised under the guardianship of Levi. 

ও Jean Kirstein (21) ⇢ An only child, carrying a grief he keeps buried deep. The center of his mother's world, he's an art major and the hockey captain, with a smirk that borders on infectious. He's quiet about his art passion, something that speaks in his work rather than his words. Golden heart and eyes, Jean finds himself falling in second place. 

ও Levi Ackerman (35) ⇢ Quiet and stoic, the campus history professor isn't known for being 'gentle.' He carries a level of secrecy, but not for his own sake. His scowl hardly falters, with Violet the exception to the glare that makes a permanent resident on his features. 

ও Connie Springer (21) ⇢ General major, still figuring things out, Connie is Violet's longest standing friend. The pair met by chance in early childhood. Post-recovery and during physical therapy, Violet was discovered by a young Connie who was visiting a sick relative in the hospital. The visits were consistent, and Connie fell into a constant in Violet's life, and one of the few who's been given the right to know what happened in young childhood, and why she carries her walls high. The jokester of the group, always laughing too loud and knows every name and face on campus, he's also the grounding force when Violet spirals. 

ও Eren Yeager (20) ⇢ Chill, but quick to temper when the wrong buttons are pushed. Eren is fiercely protective to a fault, but loyal through and through. An undecided major that enjoys existing in the moment with his friends, Eren met Violet through extension of Mikasa when Violet was a teenager. There was a quiet need to protect that came with the territory, and Eren became one of the few that learned Violet's story. Throws a punch first and faces the consequences later. 

ও Mikasa Ackerman (21) ⇢ History and Cultures major, quiet but observant. Mikasa is slow to temper, and often is the voice of reason among the group. Though that doesn't mean she's one to be underestimated when it comes to the protection of her loved ones. Meeting Violet in their teenage years after custody had been won by Levi, Mikasa acts as a lingering shadow of protection over Violet. 

ও Porco Galliard (22) ⇢ A transfer student from Marley Mid-State University, Porco and Violet's paths were intertwined in high school. A possessive streak that runs deep, and a need to maintain control, Porco met his match with Violet. After a nasty breakup, Violet all but disappeared from his life. 

ও Maise Yeager (OC)(30) ⇢ Part time bar manager, Maise is the fraternal twin of Zeke Yeager, and older sister of Eren Yeager. Engaged to Nile Dok, with a 2-year-old and another little one on the way, Maise is a spitfire of witty remarks and fierce protection over her siblings and child(ren.)

ও Nile Dok (34) ⇢ Detective and dedicated father, Nile's role plays deeper into Violet's life than what's known on the surface. Nile had been the first responding officer on the night Violet lost her mother. Still a rookie cop at the time, it was a scene that continues to haunt him, and he remains a constant in Violet's life after all these years as another silent guardian. 

Chapter Text

The apartment was quiet. Violet was curled in her bed, laptop balanced on her knee and a notebook on the other. Pen scratched the paper as she let her gaze flicker from screen to page, the white noise machine providing a subtle rush of ocean waves in the background. It was damn near perfect, if it wasn’t for her phone buzzing every minute. 

She tried to ignore the messages, the flow of the group chat always became far too much on a Friday night, and she swore it got worse when the semester started. Her eyes went to the device rested on her night stand for a passing second before returning to her page. The party should be in full swing soon, and hopefully that means peace. 

Of course it was too much to ask for. 

The buzz changed, a constant pattern, one that drew a sigh from pouted lips. Settling her pen down, she reached over and pulled it from the charger, glancing at the name. 

Connie. 

She let it ring twice before answering, pressing it to her ear. 

“What, Connie,” she asked, the Japanese curling with exasperation, eyes returning to her notes.

“No idea what you said but I’m assuming that’s a hello!” 

“Sure, go with that.”

“Where the hell are you? First house party of the semester and I KNOW you aren’t sitting your ass at home.”

“Apparently you don’t know shit,” Violet answered with a soft snicker, leaning back against her headboard, eyes turning to her idle desktop. 

Nearly 9pm. 

“C’mon Vi, you were gone half of break, we miss ya!”

In the distance, Violet could hear Eren calling something she couldn’t quite make out over the distant thump of the base. “You’re annoying, you know that Connie?”
It was half-hearted, the smirk that tugged her lip betraying her to the empty room. 

“That’s Violet-speak for you’re coming, see you soon,” he snickered before the line went dead. 

Violet let the phone fall to her lap, closing her eyes with a huff of a sigh, knowing damn well he was right. She allowed herself a moment before she shut the laptop, moving to stand and head to her bathroom, pulling waves of raven hair from the clip as she walked. Stepping into the low lit space, her eyes caught her reflection in the mirror, lingering for a moment too long on the scar that ran across nose and cheek. 

XXXX

Violet parked about a half a block away, deciding to keep her car away from the group of far too crossfaded college kids that would be in and out of the Yeager house. Combat boots gave a low thump over the pavement, a sound that was quickly drowned by the bass from the brightly lit house just ahead. A hand pushed through her hair, slated grey gaze observing the house as she stepped into the wash of pale yellow lighting. 

Faces unfamiliar, yelling and calling out to friends, the smell of booze and stale weed wafting the air. Violet’s lip had settled into a lazy smirk, a look that fit sharp features and hazy eyes. She started for the door when she heard the unmistakable call of her favorite cue ball bastard. 

“There you are!”

Connie skipped out, missing the last step entirely as he swept Violet up in a crushing hug. 

“Gods damn- Connie-”

Violet’s smirk grew, playfully sharp as she returned the gesture, giving him a gentle push when she was placed back on her feet. “It was a few weeks at most-”

“There she is!” 

Sasha was the next to sprint out, hair bouncing behind her as she nearly stumbled into Violet on her way down the stairs. Violet let out a low snicker, a sound that came from her throat as she stepped up to embrace Sasha in a gentler hug. 

“You act like I moved away for the semester,” Violet taunted lightly, head giving a tilt as she observed the two. 

“Yeah well it felt like it. Come on, Eren and the others are waiting on you, too,” Connie grinned, turning to lead the way back in the house.

Violet fell into step behind him, a wash of confidence that seemed to radiate from the small ravenette. Her eyes were sharp despite the haze, something that acted as a mask for her observations, her study of the crowd around her. Her hands tucked into the back pockets of dark denim shorts, a second layer to the dark fishnets that decorated long legs. Moving through the crowd was easy when Connie was Moses himself, splitting the sea of people with loud laughs and high fives, greeting everyone that filled the room. It wasn’t a sight that surprised Violet, not when she knew the social butterfly that was Connie Springer. 

They moved towards the kitchen, cutting down a narrow hallway that opened into a den. The music seemed dulled here. Still loud, enough that the walls shook under the effort of the bass, but conversation could be held without screaming. The large space was settled with a wet bar in the back and a series of loveseats and chairs arranged in a circle around a table, taking up the center of the room. 

“About time,” Eren called, standing from his spot next to Mikasa, walking over with a broad smile, arms open. “Holy shit you really are back,” he snickered, pulling her in for a hug.
“I swear to god, I said I was coming back before I left,” Violet commented with a roll of her eyes, pulling back with a sharpened smirk, one that softened when her eyes found Mikasa. “Everything's been okay, Mika?”

She was met with a faint smile and a nod, more than enough confirmation for Violet as she stepped closer into the group, eyes finding Armin next. “There’s my favorite blonde,” she called, her smile softening at Annie who was to Armin’s right. A smile that was returned with the usual, indifferent nod. Wrapped in dark hair and an oversized graphic sweater, Violet settled herself in one of the empty mushroom chairs that nestled between two loveseats, Connie on her left and Armin on her right. 

Violet let her gaze skim the room, most faces new to her, aside from the few first year familiars - and her cousin, of course. 

“Alright-” Eren stood near the table, in front of Violet and gave a clap. “Introductions, because I have no a fucking clue who you know here Violet.”

He began pointing, making his way around the circle. “I know you know Armin and Annie - I think you know Annie-”

“We only met a handful of times last year,” Annie commented, tone dry with her head leaned against Armin’s shoulder. Violet hardly contained the laugh that wanted to bubble in her chest. 

Eren opted to ignore the comment, moving around the circle. “Mikasa, a given. That’s Bertholdt and Reiner, that’s Marco, Jean, you met Historia and Ymir last year, Sash and Connie, and of course, your favorite host-” there was a pause that was met with a snicker as he gave a gesture far too dramatic to himself. 

“You can think that until Zeke shows up. Is he still a professional college student, by the way,” Violet asked with a widening grin, her tone laced with the taunt. A taunt Eren ignored with a playful roll of his eyes.

Zeke wasn’t a stranger to the group. Working on his 3rd degree (last Violet knew, anyways), he was often around. The house belonged to their parents, but Grisha’s line of work as a plastic surgeon kept him moving more often than not, going months at a time out of state. Carla often followed, leaving the boys to the family estate in the college town of Sina.

 Violet had settled in the chair, one elbow propped along the side, while her other hand rested in her lap, the sleeves of her sweater licking at her fingers. She pulled her right leg up, curling it underneath her, letting herself curl inwards. Not from lingering anxieties, simply in comfort of the phantom ache in her left leg. 

“Speaking of, how has Maise been? I haven’t seen her in awhile,” Violet asked with a tilt of her head, eyes on Eren. 

At the mention of Zeke’s twin, Eren’s lip curled into a fond smile. “She’s been good, Nile’s been making her rest up with baby number 2 on the way,” he explained, turning to busy himself at the table. “Finn is still a fucking hellion, I swear to god the terrible 2s aren’t a myth anymore.” 

Violet gave a light snicker, shaking her head. Her attention was pulled when a voice to her right spoke up, her eyes averting to the source.

“Good to finally put a face to the name, Violet,” Reiner offered, giving her a smile as he leaned forward, elbows propped on knees. “Second year, right?”

“Mhm, first year officially on campus but second year student,” she explained, eyes turning when she heard the spark of a lighter. Eren held a blunt between his lips, white bic lighter in hand as he lit the end. Violet felt the twitch of her lip, Eren catching her gaze as he offered it to her after pulling a long, heavy hit. 

“Fuck yeah,” she muttered, leaning up just enough to grab it, holding it to her lips to take a long, sweet drag. She held the smoke in her lungs until eyes watered, releasing with a low, graveled cough.

“You never cough,” Connie snickered, taking the blunt as she held it out. 

“Haven’t smoked since I left, asshole,” she managed, clearing her throat after a moment as she settled back in the chair. 

Her eyes finally took a moment to properly assess the faces around her as idle conversation started. She was more than happy to slip into the background of it all, observing silently. She wasn’t getting ignored, she never was. There was something enticing to be the one to listen, to be a part of every conversation without the need to speak. She noticed eyes, body language, inflections of tones otherwise missed in the fog of the mixed liquor and weed. 

Her smirk curled soft, a look that seemed to settle over her features more often than not. Her eyes moved from Marco to Jean, pausing in their tracks.

Jean was watching her right back.

Violet didn’t flinch or flicker away. She didn’t giggle like it was some inside joke, didn’t shoot him any kind of remark. She simply held his gaze, her own intense in a way that could be mistaken for sermon. Meant to be seen, felt to the marrow of bone, not easily forgotten. 

“Violet, what's your last name?”

Connie’s voice broke through the buzz, yet not enough to pull away her gaze. 

“You forget me that easily, Connie?” You could hear the smirk in her tone, a taunt that curled her tongue. 

“Just answer the question ya crpytid-!”

“Ackerman.”

“I told you,” Connie suddenly blurted, pointing to someone just across the table - she guessed Reiner or Bertholdt, but hadn’t bothered to check. She was still locked into the staredown with the mulleted brunette across from her. 

“So is Professor Levi always a hardass or is that just in the classroom,” Reiner asked, confirming her suspicion. 

Jean looked away before she could answer, suddenly interested in Reiner’s question. Only then did Violet let her gaze turn to the larger blonde to the right. 

“Depends on the time and place,” she mused, head tilting to meet his gaze. She swore his breath caught for a moment, the hiccup in his throat a giveaway. 

It was always in the eyes, she learned. An Ackerman trait, she was certain. The same eyes as her father, the same as her cousins. 

“That isn’t an answer, Vi,” Eren snorted.

“Yes it is,” Mikasa commented, voice soft as she leaned back into the loveseat she was perched on next to Eren, her expression a soft void, neutral as ever. 

“So why didn’t you attend campus the first year,” Bertholdt asked, leaning forward just enough to see her past Reiner’s larger frame.

Violet ignored the way something clenched in her chest, a memory she had tried to bury, a grief that still coursed through her veins like a slow burn poison. It never left her, it remained just below the surface, ready for the strike when she had forgotten the sting. She trapped a black manicured nail between her teeth, an easy, idle pose, something that made her look like she was thinking, not drowning. 

“I ended up with some personal matters in Japan that needed to be taken care of, which took longer than I expected. It just made going back and forth easier when everything was online,” she said with a shrug, a nonchalant roll of her shoulders that indicated the end of the conversation, a topic she didn’t dare dwell on longer than needed. 

“Japan-?” Marco’s eyes widened, almost scooting forward, head leaned in her direction. 

“Grandparents are there,” Violet hummed, a quick and easy explanation that seemed to settle them from further questioning. At least, she could only hope. She didn’t want to- no, she couldn’t address the grief. Not here. 

Jean opened his mouth to speak, a question on his tongue when footsteps drew Violet’s attention. 

Why the hell do those sound familiar-

Her eyes turned, a sharp flick of grey and white as they focused on the entrance of the den. A dark haired woman with wide, tired eyes stepped in, giving a wave and a smile.

“Hey, ya made it Pieck,” Jean called out, a hand thrown up in a wave. 

Violet could almost settle the knot in her stomach, nearly dismissing the sudden flare of an intuition she knew better than to ignore, until another figure stepped in behind the girl. 

Blonde hair with a close buzzed undercut. Sharp, honey gaze and a defensive walk that Violet knew like the back of her hand. On the surface, she maintained. Her smirk in place, eyes intent, posture relaxed. 

She didn’t dare fall apart like she wanted, the scream that threatened to rip apart her lungs and ribs, tearing through flesh like something primal. She didn’t lunge, she didn’t snarl, she didn’t break. The wash of emotions were stomped out - quickly before they dared take hold.

“I see ya brought Pokko,” Eren commented with a sharp smirk, an intentional jab meant to instigate. Only it didn’t work. 

Not with the way his gaze locked on Violet. 

Not with the way she stared back, a defiance that burned him to the core, one she refused to lose. 

Alexa, play “Do I Wanna Know?” by Arctic Monkeys

Chapter Text

The tension was palpable, but Violet’s features remained unmoved. She felt Mikasa’s gaze turn to her, felt the way Connie shifted just a breath closer, his own eyes now turned to Porco.

Violet had hoped she was far enough from Liberio High, but she had a habit of forgetting life had a fucked sense of humor.

Eren’s eyes shifted, from Porco to Violet, his gaze narrowing. 

“I missin’ something here, Vi?”

“Don’t think so, your turn in the circle, maybe,” she taunted, her eyes finally snapping from Porco to find Eren’s. Lazy smirk and hazed eyes, it was still undeniably her. However, something in the interaction was charged, a landmine they were toeing around, waiting for something to finally explode.

Yet, nothing did.

“Are you going to make me introduce myself,” Violet mused, letting herself find a momentary distraction in her phone, checking in with Levi before she tucked the device away once more.

Levi: Still alive?

Violet: Seem to be. I’ll let you know when I’m heading home.

Ever the stoic wall or worry, even if he tried to deny otherwise. 

She decided to leave him unaware of Porco for now.

“Introduction, huh?” 

Porco’s voice cut through the room, tone dry and curled with something like annoyance, moving to one of the empty loveseats across from Violet. She still refused to look his way, eyes now settling on Connie, lip pushed out in a pout.

“You made me come here, I feel like it should be on you,” she taunted, lip curled up in a smirk as she let her gaze flicker back to the newcomers. The woman - Pieck, if she heard Jean correctly - was lingering on the arm of the loveseat, her gaze curious on Violet, shooting a look of questioning concern to Porco.

One that was ignored, as his gaze had settled back on Violet. 

“Yeah yeah alright,” Connie chuckled, leaning forward to pull himself to his feet. “Violet, that’s Pieck and Porco. Transferred from Marley-Mid State like, midway through the semester last year. Guys, this is Violet,” he introduced, head turning to Violet. “You want a drink?”

“I’ll pass, don’t think getting cross-faded is my best idea tonight,” she hummed, despite the need for something burning to cut through the lingering tension, something to make Porco’s gaze fizzle into nothing but background noise. 

“Your name sounds familiar,” Pieck hummed, leaning forward in the slightest, studying her features. 

“Mmh, I moved around a bit when I was younger. I wouldn’t be surprised,” she answered, gaze finally snapping to Pieck’s. Intense, studying the woman, but not unkind. 

Violet remembered Pieck the longer she focused, though not well. A passing face in the halls of another time that she had fought desperately to suffocate, a time when her weakness was worn on her sleeve and twisted for someone’s selfishness. 

They maintained eye contact for a moment before Pieck’s expression broke out into a smile. Either she remembered and decided on silence, or she had truly forgotten the name and face of Violet Ackerman. 

Either way, it was in Violet’s favor.

“Either way, it’s nice to meet you. I assume I’ll be seeing you around?”

“Perhaps,” Violet mused, lip curling in a smirk, something sharper than before, a razor to match her words. 

Violet settled back into her rhythm, an uneasy tension as the group carried on conversation. Letting herself lean back in the chair, an attempt to let her shoulders relax from the new weight of familiar burden, her gaze caught Jean’s once more. Just an intent as before, but now loaded with a curiosity that Violet almost felt like indulging. 

Almost. 

“Hey, Violet?”

Bertholdt’s voice was quiet, but just enough to carry over the louder conversations around them. Just enough that she let her gaze shift from Jean’s, almost disappointed in the idea. 

He was proving to be an interesting study. 

“Hm?”

“You said your grandparents are in Japan?”

“I did,” she hummed, her head giving a tilt as she considered his question, the range that it could cover. 

“Did you ever live out there yourself? Or just your grandparents?”

“I did, for a few years,” she responded, shifting in the chair, pulling both legs up carefully, curling into herself comfortably. “I was little though, I don’t remember too much aside from the language,” she mused, a quiet hum, a warm nostalgia spreading through her chest. Softer memories, times before grief carved her into something sharp. 

“Mom’s grandparents or your dad’s?”

Porco’s question felt too loud, and the sting landed just where he intended. 

Violet swore a chill blanketed the room; between Mikasa’s harsh stare, Connie’s sudden snap of attention, and Violet’s own gaze - no longer hazed, the clarity almost startling - no one spoke. Uncomfortable silence filled the den, even the music seemed to soften at the question, as though it understood the unspoken barrier that had been shattered.

“Not that it matters, but my mother’s.”

God, did that hurt. To think a piece of her mother’s history was insignificant. To act as though it wasn’t a constant wound, a bleed that never stopped, a knife that kept twisting. 

“Hey, why don’t we go grab some snacks? Before we get munchies,” Sasha suggested with a grin, leaning forward, an attempt to lighten the somber tone that swallowed them all. “Good point Sash,” Connie grinned, pushing himself up. 

“I need to step out real quick, grab something from the car,” Violet murmured, standing with a swift grace, hair bouncing around her shoulders. 

“Do you need someone to walk with you,” Jean offered, eyebrow raised with a silent offer. “I’ll walk with her,” Eren mumbled.

He had fallen silent since Porco entered, unable to shake the look Violet had given Porco. It wasn’t her usual, it wasn’t that quiet calculation that he knew so well. It was something almost haunted. 

Violet didn’t argue it, didn’t need to. The silent acknowledgement was carried with a quick, exchanged look. Green and gray locking in silence. 

Mikasa stood, taking a step to Violet. Her hand found Violet’s shoulder, expression unreadable but eyes intense. 

“I’m fine, Mika,” the shorter Ackerman assured, lip giving a soft smile, something that just turned the corners of her lips before failing once more. 

“I’ll help Sasha and Connie,” Marco offered with a smile, moving to his feet. 

“You have fun with that, I’m going to step out for a minute for air that doesn’t smell like week old beer,” Jean commented, moving to his feet, “You’re funny if you think the outside is any better,” Reiner mused, throwing Jean a smirk that was answered with an eyeroll. “Better than breathing the same air as you,” Jean taunted back, the snicker and smirk a giveaway to the jest. 

One by one, they filtered from the den. Eren was close on Violet’s heels, the curl of something protective following his steps as they left the buzz of warm bodies and trembling walls. 

Outside, Violet released a breath. It wavered from the effort, her chest finally twisting in a way that made holding back impossible. Her smirk slipped, fading to the tight lipped frown that was a damn near mimic of Levi’s own. 

“You gonna talk to me or do I have to force it out of ya, Violet?” 

Eren didn’t speak until they were nearly halfway to her car, gaze turning down to find her own. 

Her eyes had been focused on his features as they spoke, a pain that swirled undeniable. 

“I knew Porco in high school,” she mumbled, letting herself focus back on the sidewalk until they reached her car, leaning against the side door. “Remember I told you I dated some asshole in high school that Levi wanted to strangle?”

Even with her gaze on the ground at her feet, she could feel the disbelief in his stare. 

“You’re fucking kidding me, Violet.” 

“I wish I was.” 

Silence for a moment, arms crossing over her chest as though it would hold her together.

“That’s why he asked about- he already knew.”

The accusation was bitter on Eren’s tongue, not a question but a judgement, sure in execution. Violet merely nodded. “It wasn’t long after Kenny had tried to pop into my life for the.. Second or third time. When the fuck ever, but Porco knew damn well what he was doing,” she muttered, voice laced with venom she didn’t bother to hide. 

A silence settled, not uncomfortable, but heavy. 

“You need a minute, Vi?”

“Please. And Eren, don’t say anything. Just let me handle things.”

Eren gave a nod, the tensed frown fading as his hand found her shoulder. “I’ll wait for you downstairs, make sure he doesn’t try to slip out here,” he muttered, his hand pulling away as he gave her a final look, one more self assurance before he left her to thoughts too loud, disappearing back up the sidewalk. 

Violet’s eyes couldn’t peel from the sidewalk, not without fear the break would reach the mask. She had finally found a sense of peace, some ideal that she was pulling herself together after drowning for years without end. 

It’s only fitting for a past to come back to haunt her. 

“You know, the longer you stand there, the less likely you’re going to escape.”

Violet jumped, turned to face the voice. Eyes wild, laced with annoyance and fury, a mixture that settled when she realized it was Jean. She shifted, letting her back press against her car once more, staying focused on the tall brunette as he made his way to her, hands shoved in the pockets of the dark-wash jeans. 

“Didn’t expect someone to be lurking,” she fired back, arms crossing as she studied him. The sharp gaze was softened, only for a moment as he caught her in the middle of her unmasking. 

“Saw Eren walk back in without you, wondering if you had taken off,” he answered with a shrug. Well, at least he was honest. 

“And why would you wonder that?” 

“It’s been awhile since we’ve had someone interesting hang around, can’t blame a guy for being curious.” 

He shifted his stance, leaning on one foot, head tilting to match. His eyes mapped her features, lingering for a beat too long on her scar before returning to the storm-brewed oceans trapped behind her gaze. 

“You flatter every woman that crosses your path?”

“Depends on the woman,” he answered, the flicker of a playful smirk crossing his lips. 

“And what woman am I, Jean?” 

“I’m still figuring that out.”

Violet felt the unease shift, melting into the burning curiosity that she’d never been able to contain. He was honest, as far as she could tell. But still, the corners of his own mask were just as obvious, making Violet wonder just what was hiding underneath it. 

“You’ll have plenty of time for that. We should probably head back before someone else gets too curious,” she taunted, the smirk returning, light yet guarded. A piece of her armor slipping back into place, the security of control, of focus that wasn’t the past, calming the stir of unease in the void of her chest. 

“I’m right next to you.”

Violet pushed from the car, falling into step next to him with an ease that felt natural. A strange rarity that she didn’t dare linger on for too long, not with the bass settling back into earshot and wash of yellow reflecting off honey-gold eyes next to her. 

Alexa, play “When You Were Young” by The Killers

Chapter Text

Eren was waiting as promised, his eyes shooting to Jean’s with a flicker of something protective that earned an eye roll from Violet. “Calm yourself, blockhead,” she mused, her shoulder bumping his arm with a flicker of her smirk. That calmed, collected expression that she wore far too well. 

“Wondered where the horse had wandered off to,” Eren mused, giving Jean a smirk (though something in his gaze hinted at a subtle annoyance.).

“Good news for you, you don’t have to wonder anymore,” Jean replied, a lazy shrug to follow. There was something in his aloof demeanor Violet noted. Something to file away for later.  

“Both of you shut up and get back to the den, I don’t want to hear your pissing contest,” Violet scoffed, a hand finding each of them between the shoulder blades to give a gentle - but certainly firm - push back to the group that seemed to regather in their absence. 

Stepping back into the warmth of the familiar space, her eyes turned to the chair - and noticed Porco had shifted to the spot where Armin had been sitting. Her jaw clenched hard enough she was certain it ached through one of her cranial plates. Despite the way her instincts screamed at her to just go home, this wasn’t worth the headache she would endure. She didn’t want a scene, she didn’t want them to ask questions she didn’t want to answer. 

She let out a soft huff through her nose, a sound drowned by the music as she took a few steps towards her chair - only to be cut off by Mikasa who sat unceremoniously in the mushroom chair, next to a rather annoyed looking Porco.
“You mind, Violet? It’s comfier than the couch.”

Violet fought the way her lip wanted to twitch into a smile. 

“I don’t mind,” she hummed, crossing to sit in the now empty spot between Eren and Bertholdt. A hand subconsciously went to her left thigh, pressing for a brief moment against the scar hidden by the dark fabric. Her grip released as quickly as it grasped, her fingers flexing before curling back into her lap. 

Eren noted the action, opting to obnoxiously sling an arm around her shoulders and give a grin. 

“What do you say, Vi? Gonna show them up in beer pong again tonight?”

“I said I wasn’t getting cross-faded,” she snorted, rolling her eyes in a motion that lacked any real heat. 

“Lame,” Eren nudged, giving another grin. Violet watched the way his eyes flashed to Porco’s for a moment, watching for a reaction. 

Violet knew he was smarter than that. Porco wouldn’t flinch, but he sure as hell would glare. 

She settled into the spot she now claimed, eyes taking their time to scan the group once more. Unfocused but intentional in study, taking notes of body language and behaviors she noted through the night. The conversations picked up once more, enough to drown the dull ache that had settled in her jaw. Eren’s arm had shifted, now resting on the couch behind her, but still lingering close. 

Her eyes flickered to her phone after a while when she felt the familiar buzz, pulling it from her pocket. 

Levi: Don’t do anything stupid, I’m going to bed. Don’t call me if you need bail.

Violet: I’d have to get caught first smh 

Violet gave a snicker, locking her phone so she could ignore the inevitable scolding, lead tilted back against the couch.

“Levi on your ass again,” Connie called with a smirk, catching the way she looked far too amused by what she had sent. 

“He always is. And I’m going to remind him why he’s got gray coming in,” Violet responded, smirk turning up sharp as she leaned back into the couch, one arm coming behind her to prop against the cushion. 

“Are you saying you get a reaction out of the stoic bastard,” Jean asked from his chair, eyebrow cocked in amusement with a smirk to match. 

“It’s my specialty.” 

Something in that smirk she wore told them she wasn’t lying, either.

“Seems like you’re just good at getting reactions out of people, aren’t you?” Porco’s jab cut once more, another intentional blow, another call to a history she had been trying to forget. Her eyes turned to him, sharp, unwavering and smirk still sharp. 

Almost predatory. 

“It’s a specialty of mine. Makes life fun after all. You know about that?” 

They held his gaze, watched the twitch in the muscle of his jaw, noted the way the vein in his forehead all but popped as he let out a sharp exhale. 

“Funny.”

“I thought so,” Violet retorted, unwilling to back down, unwilling to let him have a final word on anything.

Not after earlier. He didn’t get the courtesy. 

The tension had slipped back into the room, the watchful eyes of their circle refusing to break from whatever display was being presented to them. Unwilling to speak, unwilling to overstep, but content to simply watch, wondering what was being uncovered. 

Porco held her gaze, sharpened to a point it sliced the air. Violet’s own gaze was unwavering, her smirk curled into a challenge that met the intensity of her eyes. Eventually, Porco let out a scoff, sinking back into the seat, the grip on the bottle turning his knuckles white and bringing Violet’s smirk to something victorious before she settled back into her seat, letting the expression shift to something softer, indifferent. 

She ignored the looks from Porco, ignored anything else he had to say as she stayed settled in the comfort between the brunettes. Eren was watching, eyes turning to Porco if he so much as breathed the wrong way. Bertholdt, to his credit, knew there was something unspoken that had settled, and opted to keep the atmosphere around them light. 

“Mind if I ask what part of Japan your family is from,” Bertholdt asked after a moment, Reiner shifting his attention from Connie to Violet, his own gaze curious. 

“Takasaki, it’s about 2 hours from Tokyo,” Violet explained with a soft hum, head giving a tilt as she spoke. “Very nice city, it’s where I go when I visit my grandparents. Though I hate how far inland it is in comparison to Tokyo.” 

Her tone was almost listless, a longing she’d never found a cure for. 

She felt something ache, and she couldn’t tell if it was old nerves or the desire to find her home once again. 

“I’m sure it’s just as pretty as Tokyo,” Reiner commented with a lopsided grin, genuine words wrapped into a playful gaze. 

“Gorgeous city, I wouldn’t trade it for anything,” she hummed, shifting in her seat, hand going to her thigh again. 

“Getting stiff,” Eren asked, his eyes flickering to her thigh before meeting her gaze again. 

“Just a bit,” she muttered, checking her watch for the time. 

Just past 1 in the morning. 

“Might be my hint to bail on you,” she taunted with a smirk, giving him a playful nudge with her shoulder.

“Oh come on, already,” Connie groaned. 

“SOME of us have jobs, asshole,” Violet fired back with a snicker, though there was no true heat in her words. There never was with those she had learned to trust. 

“Daycare is open on Saturdays,” Eren asked, eyebrow cocked. 

“Just the mornings. We close in the afternoon. YOU should know this, since I have Finn on Saturdays,” she grinned, giving a playful sigh of exacerbation. 

“Wait - wait did you say daycare,” Jean asked, his attention fully grabbed and eyebrows damn near disappearing into his hairline. 

“Yes, I said daycare,” Violet responded, her own eyebrow cocked in amusement as she took note of the reactions. 

Particularly Porco’s, who had gone surprisingly stiff at the idea. 

“So you deal with screaming kids when you aren’t in school. Why the hell would you want to do that,” Jean asked, his tone incredulous and borderline amused as his head gave the faintest tilt, as though he simply couldn’t picture it. 

“I think you’d be surprised. Half of them have more patience than Eren on a good day,” Violet commented, snickering at the squawk of disbelief from Eren. 

Connie gave a low snicker, shaking his head. “Still can’t picture you handling kids and not losing your damn mind, Vio,” Connie muttered, grin still flickered up wide. 

“And I can’t picture you actually graduating,” Violet snorted, head shifted back to shoot him a sidelong glance. 

“You and me, both.” Eren gave her a nudge with his shoulder, turning back to the room. Violet’s eyes followed, finally going to her watch. 

1:16AM

“Yeah, alright I’m calling it,” Violet mumbled, moving to stand from the couch, stretching. 

“You god damn traitor,” Connie called dramatically, hand clutching his chest like Violet had wounded him. 

“Shut up,” she snickered, rolling her eyes. 

“Need a walk out,” Eren offered, moving to his feet. 

“I should be fine, I’m not far anyways,” Violet grinned, giving his shoulder a nudge. “I’ll text when I’m off tomorrow, yeah? Could always bring everyone around to the apartment.”
She wouldn’t admit how quiet it was being on her own again. 

“Fuck yeah, we haven’t been over since you’ve been at the new apartment,” Connie said with a grin, leaning forward. “When did you move in there, last semester?”
“Mhm. Beginning of last semester. It’s a nice place. Sina Corner Apartments,” she explained, giving a tilt of her head. “I almost considered just getting a studio apartment outright, but I have no idea where I’ll end up after I graduate. So decided that renting is for the best,” Violet said with that soft curled lazy smirk.

“Sina Corner- Christ,” Eren said with a shake of his head, snickering. “You would be there. Let me guess, Levi accepted nothing less?” 

“You know damn well he had the final say,” Violet snorted, but there was no heat to her tone. Just that soft affection she reserved for Levi. “I’ll let you know when I get wrapped up tomorrow, and make sure my good tea is hidden so some asshole doesn’t hide it from me - Eren.”

“It was ONE time-”

“Next time I’m taking your fucking kneecaps,” Violet fired off before he could finish, her smirk playfully sharp and half serious. She gave the room a wave, and before anyone could protest, slipped off into the crowd, moving through the sea of bodies and booze until she finally reached the door. 

The air was chilled, sending a sharp pain down her throat as she took a ragged inhale. At least she could breath out here without a suffocating weight settled on her chest. She pulled out her phone as she walked, pulling up Levi’s name and hitting call, knowing damn well he was still awake. 

He always was if she was still out. 

And sure enough, it didn’t even finish the first ring.

“Still breathing, brat?” 

Violet let out a soft snort at the gruff tone cutting through the line. She could practically see his scowl. 

“Unfortunately for you, yes. Just calling to let you know I was about to head back to the apartment.”

A beat of silence.

“You can come here, if it’s closer.” 

“Not by much, I’ll be fine to get home. I’ll text as soon as I’m there. I promise.” 

“You better get home safe.” 

There it was, the unspoken I love you that they had perfected over the years. 

“Always.” 

She pulled the phone from her ear and tucked it away as she continued down the sidewalk, when a sound behind her snapped her attention. She whipped around, eyes narrowed and fists curling tight instinctively. 

Jean.

“Fucking hell, you could have spoken up,” Violet huffed, annoyance lacing her tone. But her fists, at least, unfurled. 

“Would have been rude since you were on the phone,” he commented, giving a shrug, but didn’t bother to close the distance.

“Then why did you follow me out here?”

A moment of silence. Awkward. Uncomfortable. Jean shifting like a child getting scolded and Violet staring him down like she could force him to answer on willpower alone. 

“Porco stood up like he was coming after you about the time we heard the front door. And judging by the way he was all but glaring at you the entire night, I didn't think it was smart to let him follow you out here.” 

There was a moment of pause as Violet finally let her eyes turn elsewhere.

“... Thank you,” she muttered, her brow dipping into a frown, thoughts that were too quick to grasp flickering across her mind.

“History there, huh?”

“Something like that,” Violet scoffed, hardly hiding the irritation that danced on her words. 

It was a loaded question, one she didn’t tend to share. Not with anyone, hell Levi only knew half the truth behind the fallout. It was a part of the history she was working to forget, to grow from. A part of her that she knew she couldn’t take back, but she sure as hell looked away from it. 

“Guess I gotta get on Eren level friendship for that to unlock,” he commented, an attempt at humor to break the tension settling in the air between them. A tangible sensation, one that left a sour taste in Violet’s mouth. 

Violet’s lip twitched into that lazy smirk, her favorite mask to wear. 

“Or Connie’s.” 

Jean gave a huff of a laugh, toe kicking the ground once before he looked up from the sidewalk to meet her gaze. “Need a walk the rest of the way?”

“I can’t tell you where to walk, Jean. I don’t own the sidewalk.” 

Because Violet didn’t know how to just say yes. 

Jean didn’t miss it, that dry laced sarcasm that she seemed to drip without really intending to. How it was as much a part of her as her hair and nails and that damned smirk. 

Violet turned to start walking again, letting Jean fall into step beside her without protest. She left her arms at her sides, fingers flexing like she was just anticipating a fight - something that didn’t go amiss by Jean. 

“You look like you’re just waiting to deck someone.” 

“I might be,” Violet answered, eyebrow cocked and curled lip betraying her worse than the amusement in her words. 

“I don’t think that’s normal,” Jean commented with a light snort, giving an easy smirk as he studied her for a moment, head tilted and a side long glance eyeing her too long to be casual. She hadn’t bothered to hide the self-satisfied snicker. 

They fell silent, but the air was charged. The unspoken questions on Jean’s tongue were ones he was certain Violet wouldn’t actually answer. Deflections or straight up denials, but maybe it was worth a shot. 

“So how are you related to Levi?”

“Cousin. Mika is another cousin.”

It was a quick answer, one that didn’t require much more. And the way she answered with a sharp ease meant he was already on thin ice. 

“As in Mikasa?”

“Mhm.” Violet’s answer - or rather lack there of, was more than enough of a hint for Jean that the topic was off the table for discussion. 

“Right,” he mumbled, expression flickering for a moment as though he was tucking away the information. 

“Alright, how about easy questions, yeah,” Jean suggested after a few silent steps, eyebrows raised. “Like, favorite color?”

Violet stopped in her tracks, her eyebrows nearly disappearing into her hairline. 

“Ask me that again, then ask me what my name is.” 

“Oh come on,” Jean protested with a half-sincere whine. “It could be tangerine orange for all I knew!” 

“Violet. Definitely violet. And lavender is a close second,” she finally responded, starting to walk again. “Yours?”
“Yellow,” Jean answered after a moment, head giving a tilt. “A lot of happy things in yellow,” he mused, a glimmer of a smirk crossing his lips. 

Violet hummed, filing away the answer to study later when she didn’t feel like she was still being watched before she stopped next to her car. 

“Thank you again. For making sure he kept a distance,” she said after a moment. 

Violet sounded almost sincere.

“Hey, no sweat. Guy has an attitude problem to begin with,” Jean said with a shrug, though the tension still coiled in his shoulders gave away how tense he had truly been, the idea of Porco lurking setting off something he didn’t have the time nor patience to analyze. 

Violet let out a huff of a laugh as her hand settled on the handle of her car.

“Hey, you said your place tomorrow, right? That an open invitation,” Jean asked, rocking on his heels for a moment. 

“I’ll tell Eren or Connie to bring you,” she snorted, giving an eyeroll that lacked heat. Jean, however, gave a lingering smirk. 

“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” 

“Mhm.”

Violet slid in her car, locking the door before it had properly closed. Taking a deep breath, she waited until Jean was out of sight, making his way back to the frat house before she allowed her body to tremble. 

Spotify Now Playing; “Cigarette Daydream” by Cage the Elephant

Chapter Text

Violet hadn't even washed the fingerpaint from her cheeks when Connie called her. She let out a huff, half amused, half annoyed as she stepped into her apartment, answering on the next to last ring.

"Jesus Christ Connie, I know we have Life360 but can I get in the damn door first," she snorted, tossing her keys in the designated bowl by the door and gently kicking it shut with her heel.

"You said when you were off work-"

"That I would call, you impatient jackass," she muttered, giving a roll of her eyes. "I still have paint on my face. Let me at LEAST get cleaned up."

"Or, and hear me out, we see what it looks like when the kids turn you into an art project."

"Shut up. And if you want to eat, bring food. I'm not cooking for all of you this time," Violet commented, half a joke and half a warning.

"Pizza or takeout?"

"I'm feeling takeout."

"You're always feeling take out."
"You asked, don't give me an option next time," Violet snickered, head tilting into the phone as she reached for the makeup wipes in her bathroom.

"Yeah, yeah. We'll see you soon. Still cool if we bring the group from the party?"

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll see you all soon."

Violet hung up, sliding her phone on the counter as she scrubbed the paint from her cheek, leaving the skin red. Letting out a huff, there was an undeniable fondness in her smirk as she tossed the wipe, stepping to her room.

She changed, staying within her usual comforts. A pair of leggings and an old alumni sweater that was likely (it was) Levi's. A hand pushed through her hair as she made her way back to the living room, eyes skimming the place.

It was entirely Violet, with dark muted greens, grays, and hints of a deep violet within trim and pillows. Carpet matching the blinds and the couches, pictures as proof of life and tapestries along the walls - next to a singular, mounted electric guitar. A bookshelf with well loved books held together by broken spines and a half a dozen bookmarks stacked neatly in the corner. Throw blankets were folded, surfaces were dusted, and any stray dishes were promptly washed and put away.

Violet was meticulous about her space, something she learned from Levi.

But also, something that meant she had control.

Control was fragile to Violet. Something that she fought to grasp after it had been yanked from her far too many times. Moving around the apartment, her eyes skimmed the various pictures on the walls and on tables, grabbing a few as she went.

She grabbed the picture from the bookshelf - the one from her first surgery. All of 7 years old and too small in the hospital cot, her hand curled tightly in Levi's like he was the only tether keeping her grounded. The first of many that she'd endure, but she still smiled despite the pain. Levi's expression was that same, stoic, tight-lipped look. His eyes, however, gleamed with that fierce pride, the protective hand curled in Violet's own speaking for itself.

She grabbed another, one from her physical therapy. Hands gripping the rails to walk, expression curled in nothing short of determination. Levi next to her, arms crossed and eyes intent on the small girl desperate to regain control.

The frames tucked under her arm, she moved to settle them face down on her dresser for now, just until company was gone.

Pieces of herself she was proud of for overcoming, but pieces she wasn't ready to share with ones that didn't already know. Not yet, at least. Or not ever, knowing Violet.

Returning to the living room, she gave a final sweep. Pictures of herself and Levi as she was older, her smile bright and his own gaze that mask of stoicism broken only by a look of sheer pride in his eyes. Volleyball games, track meets, her 18th birthday, and her signing with Paradis State University's Volleyball Team.

A few pictures next to Connie, their teenage years of Violet merely witnessing his typical chaos. More recent pictures showed herself with Eren, Mikasa, and Connie, her smile not as genuine as it was before. A camera smile, a practiced action.

She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard the knock on the door, and let out a slow exhale. A quiet preparation for whatever fresh hell Connie and Eren were about to unleash on her apartment.

Violet crossed the space with an easy grace, hand finding the door and pulling it open.

"If you get anything on my furniture, I'm personally throwing you off the balcony," she threatened with a raised eyebrow before stepping aside to let the group in.

It was the same group from the smoke circle, save for Porco and Pieck. Violet tilted her head, letting them shuffle in before closing the door behind them. "Shoes off, I mean it."

"She really does," Eren snickered with a grin, kicking out of his Converse.

"Damn right I do," she muttered with an eyeroll, making her way to the kitchen. "If anyone wants tea, speak now or forever hold your peace. The bathroom is the second door on the left in the hallway. Eren and Connie know where the remotes and controllers are," she called as she stepped into the open kitchen, reaching into the cabinet on the island to pull out her tea kettle,

"I'll take tea, if you don't mind, Violet," Armin called with a soft smile.

"Me too." Mikasa's voice was softer, but Violet knew how to listen for her after all these years.

"Easy easy, Violet hummed, setting up the kettle on the stove as Connie and Eren set up the expanse of takeout on the coffee table.

"Vio, we got you the usual plus eggrolls," Eren called back.

"This is why you're friend number one, Eren," Violet called with a grin just to see Connie splutter in offense.

Reiner and Bertholdt were looking around, gravitating towards the windows with surprise crossing their features. Top floor and private balcony was a hell of a view, she had to admit. Not that she'd ever say it out loud to Levi.

Jean had been silent, hands shoved in his pockets as he seemed particularly intent on a picture of Connie and Violet, one of their many post-game smoothies when Violet was playing in high school.

Something had settled in her chest as the sounds of protests and playful banter filled the space. Sounds of life that were desperately lacking now that Violet was on her own. Sounds she didn't realize she missed until she no longer heard Levi's typing or mutters of disdain in the background at Connie and Eren screaming at a game.

"Nice place."

The comment came from Reiner who had shifted to the kitchen. Violet glanced up from preparing the tea cups, giving a soft curl of her lip. Not quite a smile, but not the usual sharp smirk. "Thank you. Levi had the final say in it, so I suppose I should thank him," Violet mused.

"You uh - you got something on your neck, by the way," Reiner commented, eyebrow cocked in amusement as he nodded his head forward, arms crossed.

Violet's lip turned into a frown, confusion crossing her features before a hand brushed over her neck - and she felt the paint. "Oh gods-" she let out a soft snort, shaking her head. "Finger paints. Kids usually get more on me than the paper," she huffed in amusement, but didn't bother trying to scrub it off. She didn't care too much at the moment.

"That's right, you mentioned the daycare last night. Busy day then?"

Violet let her eyes turn up from the kettle as Reiner settled with his back against the countertop. Her gaze was sharp, observant before returning to the kettle that was whistling.

"Not terribly. But Saturdays I'm usually below ratio so we use the paints or something else that's easier with fewer kids," she explained, her tone carrying smooth, lacking the edge the Levi typically carried. Still, there was a strange weight in the way she spoke. As though each word was practiced and measured before she dared put it into existence.

There was a moment of comfortable silence as she prepared the cups, knowing well enough by now how Armin and Mikasa took their tea. The noise in the background was enough to pull a near genuine smile from her lips, eyes turning to follow the sounds.

Connie setting up the switch for something - likely Mario Kart. Mikasa taking up the perch on the corner of the couch. Eren on the floor with Connie and a wide smirk. Armin settled on the couch next to a quiet Annie. Sasha is already digging through the takeout with Marco's help. Bertholdt studied her bookshelf of well loved books, most of the spines broken from years of use.

Then there was Jean. Tucked into her oversized chair, eyes locked to the scene in the kitchen. On to her. His gaze curious, almost debating, with a softened edge that damn near resembled a puppy.

Violet couldn't stop the way her eyebrows quirked up, amusement and curiosity wrapped in one before she returned to the teacups.

"Did you want tea, Reiner? Or just a drink in general?"

"Nah, just thought I'd be nosy and watch you put in work as a host," he ribbed with a faint smirk.

"Oh I don't do shit as a host," she snickered. "This place is a free for all. Connie and Eren know where everything is. Just stay the hell out of my room," she mused, eyes sharp as they flickered to Reiner with a soft haze that masked any genuine taunt.

"Dually noted," Reiner snickered. "Hey, need a hand with that-?"

Violet had been prepared to balance the cups (an easy feat, really) when Reiner spoke up. She blinked once, a soft surprise before the smirk folded soft once more. "Sure. That one is Armin's, if you don't mind," Violet hummed, head nodding to the farthest cup.

"Easy enough to handle," Reiner grinned, grabbing the cup as Violet led the way back to the group. She handed Mikasa her cup wordlessly before Violet settled in the second chair in the room. Her usual perch when she had company, letting her observe the happenings while simply existing. Even here, her sanctuary, she was content to simply exist. To hear life around her, to remind her that her own heart was still beating. Her hand shifted to hold her cup by the rim, just the way she learned from Levi.

Connie shifted to sit in front of Violet's chair, back pressed against the fabric as Violet curled her legs up into herself. It was his usual post, where he was close enough for comfort and made sure no one overstepped the boundaries Violet had put up for herself years ago.

"Time to show all of you losers how it's done," Connie snickered as he started up the Switch, the same habit from years of friendship and sleepless nights after Violet's night terrors took hold.

"Please, the only reason you're confident is because I'm not playing," Violet taunted, cradling her teacup as she watched.

Eren, Connie, Jean, and Marco first.

Violet watched with that curled smirk, head tilted back into the cushion as the group cheered and screamed over cheating powerups, mouths half full of takeout and unashamedly loud.

Violet didn't care how loud they were. She couldn't have cared if they dumped the damn takeout all over the floor. She finally felt grounded. There was life in her home, voices of familiarity that kept her floating.

After a few rounds and controller passes, she heard a voice speak up.

Jean.

"You spent a lot of time with Levi as a kid, huh?" His tone was indifferent, almost gentle really, as though he knew he was handling a live grenade.

It hadn't gone unnoticed by him that the only pictures in the room were with Eren, Connie, or Levi. No mother or father, no siblings -

And nothing before mid-childhood. Nothing from toddler years or infancy. It was as though her life hadn't existed until she was damn near a pre-teen.

"Yeah. We've always been close," Violet commented casually, ignoring how Connie's attention shifted to the conversation, now listening closely.

Jean didn't miss it.

"Seems like it," he muttered, biting back his comment.

Violet forced down the flicker of something bitter, the way her guard flared the moment questions were asked. Violet was notorious for her sheer privacy, how questions about her were always diverted or ignored. The only family she'd ever spoken of openly were Mikasa and Levi, and childhood was practically nonexistent for her to anyone that asked.

"Vio, you playing," Eren called suddenly, breaking the lingering tension. Violet didn't realize she was holding a breath until a smirk crept over her lips. "So I can hear you cry about how I rigged my setup? No thanks," she mused, settling back in her seat. Her hand brushed Connie's shoulder, a quiet assurance that she was fine.
Jean watched for a moment, torn between pushing harder and letting it drop entirely. And while he might not always have the most subtle approach, he wasn't blind to the tension that coiled in Violet's shoulders at the mere mention of Levi.

He gave a shrug, leaning forward to snatch an eggroll from the table.

Violet missed the way his gaze flickered from herself to Mikasa.

𝘼𝙡𝙚𝙭𝙖, 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮 "𝙈𝙧. 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚" 𝙗𝙮 𝘿𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙙 𝙆𝙪𝙨𝙝𝙣𝙚𝙧

Chapter Text

The tension had settled without much effort. The games continued on, the group laughing too loud for the space and making jabs during each lap. Connie in particular squawked like the game had personally offended him when Reiner had hit him with a blue shell, and Eren damn near toppled over himself when Mikasa destroyed the game without a flicker of emotion.

Violet felt her phone buzz in the midst of Marco's self-proclaimed championship match against Sasha and Connie, her eyes turning down to the device.

Levi.

"Be right back," she mumbled softly. She was careful as she stepped over Connie, making her way to the bedroom and pressing the phone to her ear.

Behind her, Jean and Reiner's eyes had tracked her retreat. Reiner's, with genuine curiosity, and Jean's with something like a calculation no one else was privy to.

Levi checking in wasn't unusual, it was a part of life that Violet had grown accustomed to. Fond of, truthfully. The quiet reminders that regardless of how far she's come, of how much she'd grown, Levi was still there. Still the ever protective presence under the stoic exterior.

"Hey," she murmured, the phone pressed to her ear as she closed the bedroom door behind her.

"... Am I interrupting something?"

"Nah, nothing important. Connie and some others came over to hang out after work, that's all. Lazy afternoon with some takeout," she explained with a soft hum, settling on her bed.

Her eyes flickered to the framed photo at her bedside. The only picture of herself and her mother she kept in the house.

She looked more and more like Hana every damn day.

"Just wanted to check in and remind you about the scan on Monday."

"Is that for medical waiver or just the yearly check?"

"Both. It's a little early for the yearly, but we can still make it count."

"I'm not opposed to that," she huffed with a faint smirk.

Then, quieter: "You're taking me, right?"

On the other end of the line, Levi was thankful she wasn't there to see the momentary pause in his movements. How she sounded far too much like that little girl he'd watched survive the odds and not the young adult making strides doctors thought would be impossible.

"Tch. Of course I am. I don't want to risk you driving with a headache after that."

Violet's lip twitched into a faint smile.

"Thanks, Levi. Early morning scan?"

"It is. We'll get lunch after, sound good?"

"I won't say no to lunch," she hummed with a lingering smirk, one she was sure he could see.

"I won't keep you from your company. I'll be there to get you at about 7 on Monday morning."

Violet didn't get a chance to respond before he hung up, and she could only let out a soft snicker. She pushed herself off from the bed, letting her gaze settle on the picture once more, finding the faint carved smile lines in her mother's cheeks. Hana was frozen in time, at least for that image. Not buried in the cemetery up the road and out of Violet's reach.

She hadn't been much older than 5 in the picture, little arms clinging to her mother's neck like life depended on it. If only she had known, that one day it would be true-

And that thought alone was enough to make Violet's stomach churn, pushing down the memories that threatened to push through her mask. She'd endure until her company was gone.

It was quiet for a moment, save for the muffled sounds on the other side of the door. Taking a sharp inhale, she moved, crossing the space and pulling open the door, coming face to face with Mikasa.

"I was just about to knock."

Mikasa's voice was low, but something soft threatened to cut through the stoicism.

"Levi just checking in is all," she explained softly. Then a pause. "Routine scans on Monday," Violet added, voice dropping to ensure the words didn't go past Mikasa.

"Levi taking you?"

"He is."

"Good. Let me know if you need any more company."

Violet understood the offer. She always had. How Mikasa's care came with the quiet comforts of Violet knowing she wasn't alone. That if Levi ever faltered (he never did), Mikasa would pick up the torch.

Their strange, little family with silent and gruff affection that seemed to fit them far more than it really should have.

Violet's lip twitched into a smile. A faint shift in the typical aloof demeanor, it only lasted for a moment before the languid smirk fell back into its place. Violet gave a knowing nod before Mikasa retreated back to the couch, curling comfortably in the corner as Violet fell in step behind her, breaking off to reach her chair.

"Was that the resident grouch," Connie asked, lip curled into a snarked smile as he shifted enough to let Violet settle once more.

"Who the hell else would be calling me," Violet mused, the comfort of her mask falling into place before she even settled. "The only people I talk to are sitting in this room, anyways," she commented as an after thought with a roll of her eyes.

"You don't need anyone else, anyways," Eren said with a puff of his chest, faltering quickly into a fit of cackles, reaching for his takeout box.

"No, no I think I could do better in the friend department. Maise, for starters," she fired back, the remark laced with her brand of fond sarcasm as he floundered, hand clutching his stomach.

"Ouch, Violet. Low blow," he said through a grin, one that sent Connie into his own fit of laughter.

"You'll live," she huffed, nose scrunching in mock annoyance before she reached forward to snatch the controller from Connie's hand. "C'mon, who wants their ass kicked by Yoshi?"

"You play as Yoshi," Jean said with a cocked brow, his tone nothing short of amused as he watched her, his own controller loose in his hand.

"Abso-fucking-lutely I play as Yoshi. The ONLY correct choice," Violet scoffed, forehead wrinkled as she glanced at Jean. "You want me to prove it?"

"I do, actually." Jean sat up, elbows now resting on his knees as he flashed that easy, borderline sweet smirk. "Oh SHIT Jean is about to learn," Eren whooped, giving a fist pump as he sat up far straighter than needed for a match in Mario Kart. Jean let his eyes roll before returning to the game. "Any map you want."

"Rainbow Road," Violet responded without hesitation, still settled back in the chair and sporting that lazy smirk that now felt taunting.

A moment of silence and incredulous looks.

"I knew you were a fucking maniac," Connie cackled, head tilting back just enough to bump Violet's legs, earning a taunting wink from Violet herself. "Damn right I am," she responded as she gave Jean a look that read well?

"Jesus- alright, that's fair," Jean huffed, his eyes setting into nothing short of determination. Violet nearly commented on the fact he looked like he was preparing to interview the president and not get his ass kicked in Mario Kart, but she refrained.

She rolled her neck, fingers flexing once around the controller before settling her attention on the screen.

It shouldn't have been so satisfying to win.

But there was no denying the downright smug smirk she wore as she crossed the finish line in first place, leaning back and nudging Connie with the controller to take it back, all the while he was gasping for air between his howls of laughter.

"That wasn't even CLOSE-" he managed, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Okay now I see why they say you cheat, how the HELL did you manage that much of a gap," Jean scoffed, trying to be a good sport but also marginally annoyed at how easy she made it look.

"It's called getting good, Jean," Violet snickered, head tilting against the cushion as she watched the group with something dangerously close to affection.

Listening to the chaos settle around her, she let her eyes turn to her phone when she felt it buzz, a notification from Instagram popping up. Her head tilted as she swiped it open, and her thumb froze over the screen.

New follow request.

p.galliard has requested to follow you.

She hid the flicker of irritation, the way her chest clenched for a fraction of a moment. Letting out a faint huff and an eyeroll, she closed out of the notification and simply left it to sit. If there was one thing Violet excelled at - it was responding to a problem without responding. No energy wasted, no thoughts lingering. It was damn near a rule for her at this point.

"Levi again," Eren asked, though the way his eyes lingered on her phone for a moment told her he had caught her reaction,

"Just Instagram," she hummed, head tilting and smirk falling back in place.

"I forget you have one. You never post," he snickered, catching the silent request to simply drop it.

"People know what I look like. They don't need to be reminded," Violet shrugged, head giving a tilt.

"I think if Violet posted more than twice a year, we'd think she was hacked," Connie snickered, head tilting back to look at Violet - and he was promptly met with her finger flicking his forehead. "Shut up Cue-Ball, just because I don't post a party every weekend doesn't mean I'm not on it," she scoffed.

"Hey, Violet. I meant to ask, but you know how to play," Marco piped up, nodding to the guitar mounted on the wall. "Or is it just something sentimental?"

Violet glanced at the guitar, a custom one with violet (because of course) trim around the head and accenting the knobs. "No, I play. I've only been playing a few years though, so I'm no expert. But I have a few songs down," Violet answered, glancing at Marco as her smirk faltered to something softer.

"Is it putting you on the spot to ask you to play?"

Fuck sake, Marco was just a downright sweetheart in every sense. The way he looked at Violet with that wide-eyed eagerness and damn near sheepish expression as he asked her to play. Violet let out a low chuckle, a sound from the back of her throat, shaking her head. "Nah, not really. Just don't expect something grand," she mused.
She shifted, stepping around Connie as she walked to the guitar, pulling off the wall with practiced care. The amp was tucked neatly in the nearby corner, her hand pulling it out as she plugged the guitar in.

Settling on the arm of the couch next to Mikasa once she had everything connected, she gave a few practiced strums to find her rhythm. "Let's see," she muttered softly, finally plucking at a familiar intro. Fable, by Gigi Perez.

Violet's voice was low, a natural rasp that pulled from her throat as she sang through the song. Her hands moved along the string with ease, her voice low enough it was nearly drowned by the sound of the guitar as she played through the notes. Her eyes didn't move from the strings, both focused yet natural as her hands moved from muscle memory.

Mikasa was watching with that soft, hardly there smile. Just enough for Violet to catch. Eren and Connie both had a shared look of quiet pride. Connie knew Violet had pushed herself after everything. How life was a gift and she used that to the fullest, learning anything she set her mind to and fighting every damn odd that tried to pin her down.

Marco was watching with nothing shy of amazement, leaned forward and eyes wide as he gave Jean a nudge with his elbow like Jean wasn't in the same room. Jean was listening, head cocked as he watched with that quiet curiosity that was becoming a common expression around Violet. Reiner and Bertholdt were watching silently, Bertholdt with a lingering surprise and Reiner something like admiration, elbows on his knees and dead silent. Sasha was grinning from just behind Connie, head tilted in something fond.

Finishing out the last strum, Violet cut the amp and settled the guitar on her lap with a soft smile. "Fable was the first song I learned without needing sheet music. It's a fun one," she hummed, pushing off the couch to put the guitar back on the wall.

"That was perfect," Marco beamed, the kind smile never wavering.

"Getting better every day, Vio," Connie commented, his tone laced with something genuine, eyes softening as Violet moved back to her chair.

"You've gotten better," Mikasa added, head tilting.

This time, Violet noted the way Jean's attention shifted between Mikasa and herself.

"I try to get my practice in once or twice a week. It's harder now that volleyball is starting," she hummed, letting her bad leg shift to dangle from the chair, ignoring the faint cramp.

"Oh shit, that's right," Connie said as he jolted forward. "When's first home game?"

"3 weeks, I think. I'll double check the schedule," Violet answered with a smile.

"Fuck yeah, you know we'll be in the front," Eren assured with a grin, nudging Mikasa. "Ain't that right?"

"I always am," Mikasa responded, sounding almost amused as her head tilted. There it was again, that quiet familial fondness that set an ache in Violet's chest. But still, she grinned. "Hell yeah, I'll make sure you have proper signs this year," Violet joked.

"Didn't you break a record last year for volleyball," Reiner asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

"I did, Broke the school record for aces in a single season." The way Violet answered, so casual, paired with that soft smirk was almost amusing.

"Christ, I remember the second home game last year. I'm pretty sure you scarred that one girl with your first serve," Connie mused, head tilting back to look at her.

She felt her lip twitch into something more sincere.

"You think so," Violet snickered, turning back to the group. "Eren, are you playing basketball this year?"

"Probably," he snorted, leaning his head back into the couch. "I'll make sure you get my number right this year," he teased.

"That's for Mikasa to wear, I'm not your personal cheerleader," Violet mused, unable to resist the faint rib at Mikasa who only gave a roll of her eyes in response. But Violet didn't miss the ghost of a twitch at her lip.

Nor did she miss the subtle clench of Jean's jaw.

"You play anything, Jean," she asked after a moment, a sharp gray gaze turning to him.

"Hockey. You know, the coolest sport there is," he answered, quick to brush off the moment with a lopsided smirk, head tilting. "You just like the fights," Reiner accused, his own smirk growing broad.

"That's just a perk," Jean argued back, almost looking offended, but it was quick to fade into the easy amusement.

"Of course you'd find that as a perk," Violet snorted, but she didn't hide her own enjoyment of the idea, despite the shake of her head.

"C'mon, don't like a little violence," Jean commented, deciding to push just a bit further.

"I never said that. I just think it's more fun when it's a surprise," Violet answered, their gaze gleaming with a knowing mischief.

"You just like fighting idiots at parties," Eren muttered, though he didn't hide the grin.

"Only if it's deserved and they put their hands on me first," Violet said, pointing at him like a teacher scolding a student. Eren threw his own hands up in mock surrender while Reiner looked slightly intrigued, and Bertholdt borderline concerned.

"You know how to throw a punch, huh," Reiner mused.

"Like a true Ackerman." Violet noted the way Mikasa hid the snort of amusement behind her hand.

And this was what Violet had been missing for months since returning to life on her own.

𝘼𝙡𝙚𝙭𝙖, 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮 "𝘿𝙤 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙁𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙄𝙩" 𝙗𝙮 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙤𝙨 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙤𝙨

Chapter Text

𝘼𝙡𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜: "𝙐𝙣𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡" 𝙗𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙗𝙤𝙭 𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙮

Fuck Monday morning scans.

Violet slammed her alarm, letting out a huff of annoyance as she checked her phone. A message from Levi, one from Mikasa, and one from Eren.

Levi: I'll be there soon, you better be up.

Mikasa: Let me know if you need anything today. We can grab dinner tonight after everything, if it's easier.

Eren: Con said he'd be with you today, if you need backup just call. Catch you later on campus, yeah?

She didn't respond to any, not yet anyways. She was still staring at the far wall, feeling something twist in her chest. This was a ritual, a part of her normal she'd come to accept. That didn't mean she handled sterile rooms and white walls any better. Not when they still brought the phantom aches and the echoes of a voice she hadn't heard since childhood.

Finally, she pulled herself from bed, letting the thought settle like dust in the corners of her mind. No sense in getting herself ready, not for what the day awaited. She'd still be swinging by campus after the hospital, checking in with professors and making sure to check in with at least Eren and Mikasa after it all.

Her hands worked to tie her hair in a loose, low braid, walking towards her dresser. She hardly looked, pulling out the first pair of sweatpants she could find and her volleyball sweatshirt. Comforts, reliability, and something grounding.

Violet twisted the silver ring that rested on her middle finger, the nervous habit she'd never grown out of.

She didn't leave her room until she was dressed, eyes finding Connie who had crashed on the couch. "Con - c'mon. Levi should be here soon," she called, voice still thick with a sleepless night of anxieties she'd never voice.

Connie stirred, giving a quiet grunt in response, a hand scrubbing down his features as he tried to shake the sleep away.

"'M up- 'M up," he grunted, kicking off the throw blanket and pushing himself up. His eyes searched for a moment until they found Violet in the kitchen, hands on the counter as she stared at a series of bottles. Her medications were in front of her, yellow bottles with names he could only half pronounce. He heard the rattle, watched as she took them with a grimace before tucking them away in the designated cabinet.

Connie paused, finally standing. He shoved his hands into the jeans he'd fallen asleep in, taking a careful step towards Violet. All the years he'd known her, he was familiar with her habits. Her behaviors. He knew how to spot when she'd gone non-verbal, how to see the panic that curled at that taunt mask she wore like a lifeline.

But in her own home? That mask was fragile.

"Hey. Same shit, different year, yeah? Gonna be fine," he commented, finally crossing the distance to give her shoulder a nudge. Grounding, gentle. A reminder that she was still safe.

"Yeah, yeah. I know," she huffed, pulling out her phone to finally respond to the unopened messages.

Vio: We're up, sorry you're dealing with Connie too.

Violet: I'll be around campus later to grab coursework. Meet you at the ramen house after?

Vi: Yeah I'll let you know when we're back around.

Easy deflection tactic, but the way her eyes refused to meet Connie's said everything. Connie, for his credit, knew not to push.

"Let's go before Levi gives us a lecture on waiting in an idling car and the impact on the environment," he said after a moment, the easy grin falling to his features, a quiet laugh that just slipped past parted lips as he took a step back.

Violet's lip twitched into a faint, nearly invisible smirk. It was enough, at least, for something to settle in her chest. The tension fading to something easier to manage, her eyes turning up. Sharp, storm-trodden seas that hid more than what anyone should ever shoulder, softened at the edges.

"I'm blaming you if he does."

"Ouch, Violet. Betrayal," he gasped, hand clutching his heart as he staggered back.

"Dramatic ass," she scoffed, giving a playful push as she moved to the door to pull her shoes on, grabbing her bag and house keys.

Her watch buzzed.

Levi: I told you 7

Vio: It's 6:59 I have 60 seconds, thank you.

Violet let out a snort. "Come on, he's already starting," she huffed, her voice lacking heat. There was never any annoyance when it came to Levi. That didn't mean she didn't find enjoyment in light taunts, however.

"It's early, we get a 3 minute grace period," Connie snickered, a huffed sound through his nose as he pulled on his shoes, nearly losing his balance in the process. Violet made a sound, not quite a laugh, not quite a scoff, a strange sound forced from her throat as she opened the door. "You make that argument with him," she mused, pulling the door shut behind her.

Connie wisely opted to ignore the way her hand trembled locking up behind her, instead making his way for the elevator.

Levi was waiting as promised, parked near the front of her apartment building. The black sedan was near silent as it idled, and sharp gray eyes turned to the pair walking out.

"Tch. You like rolling up to the hospital in pajamas, don't you?" Though the lack of heat in his tone betrays him, watching as Violet settled in the passenger seat, Connie taking up the spot in the back behind the driver seat. She returned with her own scoff, bag sat on the floor at her feet as her eyes turned to Levi's.
Gray met gray. Like a damn mirror.

"I'm going to be in a gown half the time anyways. I think at this point, Dr. Keller would be confused if I showed up in anything else," Violet answered once he pulled from the sidewalk. It earned her a huff that sounded like vague amusement.

The ride was a silent one, it always was. Violet would fidget in her seat, Levi throwing her a half-hearted look of annoyance that shielded the quiet concern. Connie would watch, feigning nonchalance as he scrolled through his phone, observing for any sign that Violet needed grounding.

"Are you sure you want to go back to campus after this? I can grab your course work." Levi's voice broke the silence, his gaze shooting towards her at a red light. He was careful, the question kept light to pinpoint the reaction. There was always a gruff concern that laced his words when it came to her, one he'd never quite learned how to control.

"Yeah, I told Eren and Mika I would check in. And I'm meeting Mika for dinner," she answered after they pulled away and his gaze was back on the road.

Levi's only response was a faint grunt of acknowledgement as they pulled into the hospital parking lot. He noticed the way her knuckles turned white as she gripped her sweater, releasing after a moment.

He didn't point it out.

Violet kicked her bag farther under the dash , knowing she wouldn't need it. She tucked her phone back in her pocket as she looked back at Connie. "Ready for the waiting game?"

"You mean seeing how many cups of coffee I count Levi complaining about?"

Connie's grin was wide, infectious as ever as Violet gave a ghost of a smirk. Levi merely rolled his eyes, not entertaining the commentary as he stepped out of the car, hands going to his pockets.

Violet finally stepped out, arms crossed over her chest. She walked up to Connie who was waiting, watching as he pulled out his phone. "Smile, Vio," he teased with a toothy grin, snapping a quick picture. He was giving the camera a stupid grin, slinging his arm around Vio who gave him the most deadpanned look, fighting the urge to give him a push.

"You're lucky I tolerate you," she snorted as they started walking, giving him a half-hearted (and probably too hard) bump of her hip. "You adore me," Connie taunted with a knowing smirk.

Stepping through the threshold of automatic doors, Violet felt the shift in the air. The way her lungs clenched, fighting to remember how to breathe. Her fingers curled around crossed arms, an attempt to channel her tension, as she all but tried to shrink between Levi and Connie.

Connie's hand came up, finding her shoulder and giving a squeeze. "C'mon, you said Levi promised lunch after this. Let's hurry so we can hassle him for some shitty fast food."

Violet let out a huff through her nose that sounded startlingly similar to Levi, but gave a nod. She knew that Connie navigated her panic with lighthearted banter, anything to keep her mind working.

"Who said I was buying you lunch, Springer," Levi stated, the delivery dry and laced with what one might consider amusement if you knew Levi.

Connie let out a gasp that was probably too loud for the lobby, head hanging back. "Violet, you lured me here with a LIE."

"Oh shut up," she remarked, giving him a push with her shoulder.

She fell into step behind Levi as they made their way through the familiar wings, until the sign for REHABILITATION MEDICINE hung above their heads. She swallowed the familiar panic, reminding herself that this was different. This was just her check up. Just making sure that she was still whole.

Even if a part of her liked to whisper that she was never truly whole, was she? Not when she was held together by metal and screws, and a piece of her heart was buried over a decade ago. A thought she dismissed before letting it take hold.

Levi stepped up to the reception, eyes turning to Violet.

"Go, sit. I've got this part."

The edge that typically laced his tone had shifted. It was nearly soft, though not quite. It was understanding. Knowing he'd do whatever part of this for her that he could, when he couldn't take away the hardest part of it all.

All the damn memories.

Violet merely nodded, moving to a set of chairs along the wall with Connie. She sat like the chair was fragile, moving slowly until she was settled in the uncomfortable piece of plastic, back finding the wall behind her.

"You know it's going to be fine, yeah?" Connie finally mumbled once Levi was in conversation with the blonde receptionist.

"Always is," she muttered, but her words lacked the usual Violet brand of confidence. They wavered under the weight of old wounds and fears she'd never been able to bury. She closed her eyes, letting herself just remember how to breathe, the count in the back of her mind a familiar rhythm that Levi taught her years ago.

Tap Tap.

She felt the pattern in her knee. Two taps, spaced out just enough to be consistent. Her eyes opened, gaze half-lidded as she found Levi to her right.

He tapped again.

I'm here.

Violet gave a slow nod, relieved that for the moment, words wouldn't be needed. Words were an effort to put forward when she was focused on keeping her mind from straying too far from the present.

Her phone gave a buzz on her lap, eyebrow cocking in confusion. She glanced down, head tilting at an awkward angle to read the notification.

The group chat.

"Why is the group already going this morning," she scoffed.

"Who knows. Eren might already be pissed off in class. Armin could have found an interesting book on some new marine life. Or Reiner is skipping because it's Monday. There's plenty of options, really," Connie answered quietly, giving a soft snicker as he nudged Violet with a tilt of his head.

Levi, who had been listening, gave a scoff. "That's too much bullshit for a Monday morning."

Violet let out a snort hidden behind her hand when she watched the door swing open.

"Violet Ackerman!"

The amusement died as quickly as it came as Violet turned to the voice that belonged to the nurse.

"That's not Frieda," she muttered. But still, she stood. Levi and Connie didn't miss a beat, rising next to her as she led the way to the hallway.

"Good morning Violet. My name is Adaline, I'll be your nurse today. I've gone through the notes Frieda left on your file-" Violet felt her chest clench again- "so I can assure you, nothing will be different than your usual routine today." Adaline glanced back, giving Violet a soft, almost knowing, smile.

Violet merely nodded before they were led into one of the rooms, a cot in the center with the blue hospital gown folded neatly in the center.

"I'll step out until you're ready, then we'll get your vitals and send you to radiology." Adaline offered a smile before she closed the door, leaving the three in silence.

Violet stared at the gown for a moment, letting out a sound like deflation.

"So Frieda isn't here," she muttered, stepping forward to brush the gown.

"All your other doctors are, Vi. It'll be fine." Levi's tone didn't broker an argument, but it was still twinged with soft assurance. Violet's routine was fragile, after all. The familiar faces, patterns, knowing what would happen was grounding for her. Any wrench in that plan meant a crack in the mask.

Violet gave a nod, turning to glance at them. "Guess I better change, then," she murmured.

Connie and Levi turned away without another word, hearing the shuffle as Violet worked herself into the gown. Shirt and sweats folded neatly aside, she pulled the gown up on her shoulders.

"Con-? Help?"

Connie turned without question, taking a few steps to close the distance, tying the gown in place. He knew what he needed to do, he'd done it for the past 5 years without fail. "There, in your princess gown and all," he muttered, a dry joke as he stepped back with a half-hearted grin.

"Shut up," she snorted.

Levi released a breath when he caught the hint of borderline amusement in her tone.

Violet moved to the cot, heaving herself up with a faint grunt as she settled, legs dangling and giving a light kick as Levi finally turned around.

"You always look so damn small on that thing," he commented, arms crossed as he opted to stand instead of sit in a chair.

"Yeah Violet, grow up," Connie added, earning a sidelong look from Levi.

"Grow a beard," Violet snorted, a flicker of a playful smile breaking her features. One that faltered when there were 2 knocks on the door, Adaline reappearing.

"Let's get your vitals, and we'll get you down to radiology," Adaline said with a smile, stepping in with a cart. Behind her the wheelchair waited, the familiarity of it all making Violet stiffen on the spot.

Levi and Connie watched, silent as Adaline moved around Violet. Levi didn't miss the way Adaline treated Violet like something precious, each move made with a care he could almost admire.

"Let's get you settled here with a blanket and we'll get you down to radiology first for X-Rays and your CT scan."

Violet merely nodded as she pushed herself from the cot, settling in the wheelchair as Adaline tucked a blanket around her lap. "I'll have her back before you know it," Adaline assured, giving Connie and Levi a nod.

Levi nodded, stepping forward just enough to bring a hand up, thumb brushing her jawline. It was a faint gesture, swift in delivery, but it spoke to Violet in the way she needed.

She was safe. She would come back. Just remember to breathe.

Violet gave a nod before Adaline pulled her into the hallway, the smell of something sterile clinging to her senses as they moved over cold tile and pale walls.

She wasn't bleeding. Not again. She was safe.

 𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 "𝙕𝙤𝙢𝙗𝙞𝙚" 𝙗𝙮 𝙔𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙗𝙡𝙪𝙙

Chapter Text

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 "𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙁𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙈𝙚" 𝙗𝙮 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙁𝙧𝙖𝙮

 Levi and Connie waited impatiently. Not that this was anything new, not really. Levi's patience had never quite existed to begin with, and Connie was too damn antsy to sit still. Levi sat in silence, ankle propped on his knee as he maintained staring at a singular point on the floor. Connie, meanwhile, was rotating between leg bounces and pacing aimlessly, head snapping to the door each time a voice passed too close.

"You know this takes time, Springer."

Levi's voice wasn't unkind, just factual. Spoken with something knowing, a shared unease that lingered in the empty space and white walls.

Levi hated sitting in these god forsaken rooms. He hated the smell of sterile surfaces, the beeps of machines, the sounds of feet moving too quickly across the floor. He hated the damn waiting. Even if he knew she was safe, that this was just routine checks, ensuring that her plates hadn't shifted and brain activity was normal. . . there was still a deep-rooted unease nestled between his ribs.

"She hasn't had any seizures?" Connie's voice was low, and still felt booming in the enclosed space.

"Just the partial ones. Not frequently, though, Been a few months since her last one," Levi answered, his eyes turning to find Connie had stopped pacing long enough to press a shoulder against the wall. His finger now tapped against his arm, and Levi recognized the pattern.

Tap Tap. Tap Tap.

I'm here. I'm here.

The same taps Levi had given Violet. Their quiet communication that they'd perfected over the years to help her work through nonverbal episodes.

The quiet communication that became a core part of their small circle of trust, subconscious action, knowledge of safety. Understanding.

"When was her last bad one?"

"One year, 2 months." Levi didn't hesitate. Didn't need to look at the calendar or second guess himself. He'd been carefully tracking Violet's medical needs, her history since he'd taken her in as his own. Parts of their lives that were ingrained in a way that ran deeper than blood or legal paperwork, the quiet understanding of how important it all was. For the sake of Violet, her safety, her life.

Monitoring meant holding control. It was the safety net that Violet relied on to find normalcy in everything when her circumstances were anything but.

Levi would bend whatever rules necessary, whatever law of physics, to hold on to that normalcy for her.

"She still looks damn small in that cot, huh?" Connie's voice came again, the need to fill the space with something that wasn't suffocating. Chatter that was mindless but ran deeper, and they both knew it.

"She has since she was 7."

Levi's voice was thick with something unnamed. Rage that had never seen the light of day, fear he swallowed like a razor, and the understanding that no level of justice would be enough. Not for the pools of blood that were found at the scene. Not for the horrors a child was forced to witness. Not for the way Violet was recovered, next to her dead mother and fighting for her life.

The doctors called her a miracle case. The first responders called her a fighter.

Levi called her his stubborn child, so damn proud that she defied the grim reaper himself twice in one night.

Fuck, was he proud of that. Even if it made his chest clench to remember how fragile she had looked, hand wrapped around his like he was keeping her tethered to the earth and willing her heart to keep beating.

The memories were forced down as Connie pretended not to hear the subtle, sharpened inhale as he found his footing back in reality, leaving the echoes of monitors and pained screams behind.

"I hear her."

Levi's head snapped to the door when Connie spoke, ears strained to hear the muffled cadence of her voice as she spoke - to the nurse or a doctor, he wasn't sure. It didn't matter, not with the way he was on his feet with the door clicked open.

His chest ached against his will, seeing the way her eyes looked for him. The relief that flooded her tired gaze the moment she found him, like he'd disappeared from her life while out of sight.

"See, still in one piece."

I know you're scared, but you're safe.

Levi was never the best at speaking plainly, but Violet had learned how to read between the lines years ago.

"She came out of the CT with a headache-"

"That's common," Levi interrupted Adaline, eyes never leaving Violet, even as Connie made his way over. He watched as the boy crouched next to her wheelchair, giving a crooked smile and making some stupid joke about the hospital coffee that he wasn't paying attention to.

Not when the image looked like the first time the pair met, and god how far they'd come. Levi would never properly admit that he'd gotten used to Connie's company, something akin to fondness for the kid that didn't hesitate to find his footing in the uncertainty of their lives.

"Dr. Keller should be by soon to go over all the findings, but from the initial look everything appears right where it needs to be," Adaline stated with a soft smile as she locked the wheelchair, letting Violet move back to the cot.

Levi only nodded in acknowledgement; his eyes too trained on Violet to speak. Watching her movements, the flinch as she stood, the telltale signs of her exhaustion. Connie helped her sit, pulling his chair closer and sitting with his elbows on his knees.

Mindless chatter filled the space as Levi took a seat once more, Adaline leaving them in the confines of the room. Connie cracked jokes about something stupid that had happened on campus, making a playful jab at Levi that he opted to ignore after it made Violet's lip twitch into a smile.

It was their normal, after all. Hospital rooms and scans and clinging to the threads of reality that kept her from drowning at sea when the memories crashed too close to shore.

Memories of sirens and screams, a trauma room and more blood than Levi knew a child's body could possibly hold. And that soft, whimpered voice of a child reaching for him like he was the fucking lighthouse in the storm.

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 "𝙄'𝙢 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙔𝙤𝙪" 𝙗𝙮 𝘼𝙫𝙧𝙞𝙡 𝙇𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙚

Chapter Text

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 "𝘼𝙬𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙈𝙮 𝙎𝙤𝙪𝙡," 𝙗𝙮 𝙈𝙪𝙢𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙙 & 𝙎𝙤𝙣𝙨

The ride back to campus was quiet. Levi stole glances from the rearview more often than he would ever admit to, watching the way Violet had settled next to Connie, the side of her head pressed into his shoulder.

Always the side her plate was on.

Levi didn't ask her where she wanted to go, it was always the same answer. Another part of their fucked up routines. Panda Express post exam had been their tradition for 10 years now, and Levi didn't intend to break that tradition today.

"Plate one or two?"

His voice, low, gruff, and laced with that undercut of affection you had to strain to hear.

"One," she mumbled, her answer cutting just over the noise of the engine as she lifted her head enough to reach over, popping out the cup holder.

"Connie?"

"Two, I'm feeling spicy," he answered with that easy grin, nudging Violet with his shoulder.

"I'm remembering that when you bitch your stomach is hurting," Violet mumbled, not missing the way Levi's lip twitched just enough to be caught.

"Ex-cuse me," Connie gasped, back to his dramatics. "I NEVER complain about the spice hurting my stomach."

Violet cocked her eyebrow, and that was all the response needed for Connie to let out another sound like a dying animal, head thrown back dramatically into the seat. "You wound me, Vi," he groaned, ignoring the scoff from Levi as he half-heartedly tossed the bag of boxes back to them.
"Don't get anything in my car."

Connie grinned, not wasting time in digging out the boxes - but Violet noticed how he handled hers with a care that was gentle. Violet curled into the seat, takeout box in her lap as she picked through it carefully.

She knew she was hungry. Yet the way her stomach twisted - like it always did post-exam - wouldn't let her manage more than a few bites to her own annoyance. She let out a low, huffed whine, a sound of annoyance that Levi knew well.

"Don't force it, you'll make yourself sick," he commented, eyes finding hers in the rearview.

"I'm not. I just want to eat," she huffed, closing the box with less force than she really wanted to, leaning forward to tuck it in the passenger seat for now.

"You'll have it for later when you're hungry. Just like always."

Levi's voice shifted - softening just at the edges before he turned his attention back to the road.

Violet fell silent, between the low garbled radio static and Connie's stage whispered complaints that they upped the spice, finding the fragile peace that rested between it all. Her head tilted towards the window, half-lidded gaze watching the world pass.

Mikasa knew where to expect Violet. Mikasa had been waiting in the courtyard between the education buildings when she spotted her younger cousin and their best friend moving over the crossed sidewalk. Violet's gaze shifted, finding the familiar dark eyes.

Violet gave a hollowed smirk, one that didn't reach tired eyes.

"How did it go," Mikasa asked when the trio had reached earshot, speaking quietly among themselves.

"Everything is clear. No movement, no new hemorrhages, and no shifts," Violet mumbled, letting her head fall to Mikasa's shoulder for a half a second before standing back upright.

"How do you feel?"

"Headache. Nauseous."

Mikasa paused, eyebrows raising. That wasn't what she meant.

"Didn't have an episode, didn't have a seizure." Violet paused. "Didn't hear her screaming this time. So, it's a win," she finally admitted.

Violet watched the way her cousin gave a faint, just there nod of understanding. Mikasa wouldn't push farther, she never did. But Violet knew that she wouldn't be straying far for the day. Violet wasn't complaining, though. The unspoken bond, the reminder that she did have a family that gave a damn, was all the comfort she needed for the time being.

"Eren should be heading out any minute, unless you want to go grab your coursework. I can wait on him," Mikasa offered.

"We can wait, not like I have anything to rush," Violet snorted, an attempt at her brand of easy confidence that fell short.

Connie was watching, uncharacteristically silent as he simply observed. For all his boisterous energy, he knew when he needed to exist. To just be the support that Violet had come to rely on despite herself.

Violet caught the shift. There was a silent thanks in her gaze as her eyes flickered over to Connie - just in time to see him stiffen like a guard dog called to protect.

"Ackerman."

Violet felt her stomach turn, the way her head wasn't just thumping but now spinning as she turned to the voice. "Galliard." Her own voice was sharp, the force to push his name past clenched lungs making her head split from the temple. Her jaw twitched, clenched to a painful point before she finally released.

Porco stood a few feet away, hands shoved in his pockets and eyes trained on Violet. That same intensity as a few nights previously, an intensity that Violet recognized as calculation.

"If you need direction-" Connie started, but Violet held her hand up. A simple gesture, but one that spoke more than she needed to in the moment. A command to hold.

Violet, despite the way it made her head swirl and chest ache like breathing was a foreign concept, didn't break his gaze. She didn't speak, didn't ask what he wanted. She simply stared, unwilling to be the first to break the tension that ignited. Unwilling to look away until she made damn sure he was squirming under her gaze.

"You look tired." A pause. "Time for scans already, huh?" Porco's tone was even, but his eyes betrayed something that rivaled softness, but not quite. He hadn't forgotten, after all this time.

Violet hated it. She cursed the way her breath hitched involuntarily. She felt Connie stiffen.

And Mikasa radiated danger, even if her gaze remained deadpanned.

"Were you just making an observation or did you actually want something?" Violet's tone cut harsh, forcing out the waver that tried to break the last syllable. It wasn't welcome, wasn't allowed.

Violet didn't fucking falter, no matter the memories.

"Saw that look, wanted to make sure you didn't get bad news." There it was again, the flicker of something that could be mistaken as sincerity, if it weren't for the way his gaze was staring through her. Waiting to see if there was a crack in the facade.

Violet opened her mouth to respond - something she didn't get the chance to do when a hand clapped obnoxiously on Porco's shoulder.

"Pokko. Funny finding you here."

Eren's tone lacked his usual warmth, the taunt that typically laced his words. It was clipped, a delivery that read as near disgust.

Eren's eyes met Violet's just over Porco's shoulder, catching the dark circles that clung to her features like an old ghost.

"Yeager," Porco muttered, eyes finally shifting from Violet to Eren, annoyance pulled taunt in his undertone. "You say that like I'm not a student on campus."

"I say that like you have any fucking business being this close to her."

"Eren." Mikasa's voice cut the tension, a blade disguised in a name as her gaze found Eren's. The conversation was silent, but Violet didn't need them to speak to understand. She shared Mikasa's line of thinking, she shared her execution.

Don't make a scene. Not here.

Eren met Mikasa's gaze, holding just for a moment before meeting Violet's eyes.

Violet merely nodded.

Eren's grip released, shrugging as he stepped past Porco, his finger still twitching under the effort of his restraint. The shoulder check was harsh, intentional as he moved to find his spot just beside Mikasa.

"C'mon, let's get your coursework from today before you pass out. You're gonna collapse at this rate," he muttered, hand coming up to fiddle with the piercing through his eyebrow. Violet gave a half hearted snort of amusement, eyes turning back to Porco, waiting for an argument, a pushback, anything.

Much to her surprise, he simply shrugged.

"Glad you're okay."

Violet listened, strained to decipher the inflection of his tone. The give to a genuine, muttered comment wasn't lost to her, nor was the way his eyes settled over the side of her head where one of her plates rested just under flesh.

Finally, lifting a foot and turning on his heels, he left them in silence.

"You good, Vio?"
Connie broke the silence first, his tone measured, a steadiness that never wavered when it mattered.

"Yeah. C'mon, my head is killing me," she muttered, the smooth tone laced with a raw edge. A bitterness and a grief that fought a strange war in her chest that she'd never truly understood. She was merely a casualty of it all.

"I've got to get to biology - you gonna be good?"

The way Connie's tone softened, murmured just enough for their group to hear, wasn't lost on her. Violet's lip twitched into something of a smile, hollowed but still etched into pale features.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"I don't have anywhere else to be, I've got her," Eren spoke up, head tilting to the side with a lopsided grin. It didn't reach his eyes, Violet noted. His eyes were still alert, still scanning for something like danger still hadn't passed. It was an attempt to sooth back into their natural rhythm, a comfort they knew well.

Connie gave a grin, coiled muscles finally relaxing as he nodded. "I'll catch ya later then, Vi."

"I've got daycare later, but I can always catch you after," Violet offered, tilting her head.

"Daycare? You should be resting," Mikasa commented, glancing at Violet as they began to walk.

"It's only four hours, Mika. Nanaba asked the other day. Said one of the other girls had something going on and needed to cut out early." Violet waved her hand, a dismissive gesture as Mikasa shook her head but didn't argue. She knew better, after all. Knew Violet would still push, even if she didn't need to.

Especially when it came to the daycare. The place Violet found solace in.

The trio moved through campus, Eren commenting on anything that came to mind to keep the air light. ("Did you hear about what happened after you left the party? .... Dude when are they going to PAINT over the graffiti - Hey I bet I could grind the rail from the English building stairs all the way down.")

Violet let out a snort at the last comment, a flicker of light returning to her gaze as she cocked an eyebrow.

"Hey, there you are dumbass!"

"I swear to god, I don't have any sugar cubes," Eren smirked.

Violet turned, the voice registering as familiar.

Jean, with Reiner and Marco in tow.

"Wondering why you dipped out of Comp so damn fast, Eren," Jean commented, grinning wide and all teeth as his gaze landed on Violet - and that grin faltered.

Those damn dark circles didn't do her any favors, and she knew it.

"I'd run from Smith's class too, to be completely fair," Violet muttered with a smirk, the masked aloofness coming with ease. The mask she was desperate to cling to like a lifeline, an armor without room to falter.

Jean let out a snort, lip curling up higher, head tilting like a puppy as he studied Violet for a half a second.

"Looks like someone forgot the no party on weeknights rule," he jabbed, tone light despite the way his gaze betrayed a deeper curiosity.

"Leave my tea and novels out of this," she scoffed in mock offense, arms crossing over her chest. Her stance shifted, leaning towards Mikasa - and taking weight off her leg before a cramp could settle in place.

"Tea and novels? So those books weren't for show," Reiner jabbed, his own grin pulled high, all too eager to jump at the chance to rib at someone.

"Mine? No. Yours? Probably," Violet shot back, the banter loosening the grip still holding her lungs hostage. "Ouch, Ackerman-" Reiner gasped, hand coming to his chest in dramatics to rival Connie's. It was almost impressive.
"Got your ass, Reiner-" Jean barked through a laugh, hands shoving into his pockets, but not before Violet noted the charcoal that stained his fingers and palm.

"Are you just getting to campus, Violet? I didn't see you in Psych Stats this morning," Marco commented, curiosity and a genuine concern bleeding through his words.

"Yeah, just had some things to take care of this morning," she shrugged.

Nothing more, nothing less. Never more than what was required, but closed enough to ward off questioning. It was a balance she'd learned years ago - one that Jean seemed determined to throw off.

"Something with Levi? Heard Sasha comment about him not being here for morning classes," Jean added, rocking on his feet for a moment. Despite the question, posed as nothing more than just that - a simple question - Violet felt the familiar bristle of annoyance. The deep rooted need to keep pieces of life private.

"He was probably brooding over failed papers," Mikasa interjected. Sudden, sharp, and the perfect deterrent as Jean and Reiner let out a ridiculous snort of laughter. Marco's shoulders shook under the effort to hold it together, a smile still playing on his lips.

Violet released a huff through her nose, relief and amusement wrapped into a single gesture, shooting a sidelong glance to Mikasa before returning to the group.

Eren's lip pulled into a lazy grin, moving to prop his elbow on Violet's shoulder. A playful gesture to hide the grounding, unspoken in the way he simply understood the tension that was pulling at Violet's muscles. "Bet yours is one of them, Jean," he fired off.

"Like hell it was one of mine. He probably has a pile of yours by now."

"I'm going to shove the both of you in a closet and test the theory on tension," Violet commented, sudden and sharp and paired with an almost perfect, smug smirk.

"I'll hide your good tea cups. Every last one," Eren threatened, looking down at her with raised eyebrows.

"I'll take out your damn kneecaps."

"Fuckin' chihuahua," Eren smirked, gaze pulling between Reiner and Jean.

"But... are you alright? Seriously. You look exhausted."

Marco's voice was soft, undercutting the playful jabs and aimed at the space between Violet's ribs she tried to furiously deflect.

"Yeah, just didn't sleep much. I'm skipping my 1 o'clock and just grabbing lecture notes before I head out," Violet hummed, uncurling a hand to posh through dark locks, ruffling her bangs for a moment before her hand settled once more.

Marco didn't push, didn't press for something that was believable. He merely nodded in understanding and gave a smile.

Simple. Easy.

But he still wore a look that cut through Violet in a way she'd not known since she met Levi.

His look was just kinder. Empathetic in a way that made Violet's heart ache. Being seen silently without a need to explain was something she'd never quite experienced, and it twisted something strange.

"Let's get those notes then before I have to carry your ass to Levi and explain that these three wouldn't leave you alone," Eren mused, giving her a gentle nudge - and the out for a draining conversation.

Violet nodded, her smirk never quite faltering as she gave a mock two finger salute.

"Catch you guys later. I'll see you in the study group for stats tomorrow, Marco," she assured.

"Try to actually sleep tonight, I don't think your pages like looking back at a zombie," Jean offered, but the jab fell short for something far more sincere.

Violet's lip twitched, and she nodded before turning away with Mikasa and Eren.

"Should have grabbed my takeout from the car," she huffed after a moment, earning a sharp laugh from Eren.

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 "𝙇𝙖𝙯𝙮 𝙀𝙮𝙚," 𝙗𝙮 𝙎𝙞𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙪𝙣 𝙋𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙪𝙥𝙨

Chapter Text

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 "𝙇𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙒𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨" 𝙗𝙮 𝙍𝙤𝙗 𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙨

For the first time today, Violet didn't feel as though breathing was a manual task. Her lungs worked, chest rising and falling in the easy rhythm. She glanced over at Levi, giving a lingering smile. It wasn't taunt or practiced. It didn't bleed with the tension from this morning.

It was her. It was Violet, down to the way the left corner of her lip twitched higher than the right. The way her nose crinkled and lines creased the edges of her eyes.

"I'll be right here at 6," Levi muttered, the dry-laced tone faltering for something else. It was still gruff, still low, but a thinly veiled care bled through each word. "Want me to stop by your apartment and grab your go bag?"

"Yes please." A pause. "Can we watch-"

"I'll have Gnomeo and Juliet ready when you get home. I promise."

Violet knew he didn't break promises. She merely nodded, her smile crooked and still her, before she stepped from the car. Levi wouldn't pull away until she walked inside the daycare, she didn't need to turn to know.

The smell of baby powder and paints met her as she walked through the doors, the giggles and footsteps inside soothed her chest with a blooming warmth. Her steps were purposeful, eager as she made her way to the early pre-k room.

The nursery was a place of solace for Violet. Working with children had become a reminder that she could still put good into the world, that she could show a child they were worth love. That they were worth the effort of being wanted.

Something she still struggled with, all these years later. But she wasn't here to take her own advice, she was here to ensure they believed her.

Violet gave two knocks before stepping inside, seeing Nanaba and Petra.

"MISS AKA-MAN-"

Poppy was the first to shriek, scrambling up from her spot on the floor to rush Violet.

Violet didn't hold back the laugh, a sound that came from her chest as the dark haired child collided with her legs.

"Hey Poppy," she murmured, leaning down to scoop the child up with practiced ease.

Finn was next - the red-haired child clutching a familiar bear and shuffling to Violet. Nanaba and Petra watched with a grin, before Petra finally stepped forward.

"Thanks for doing this for me, Violet," she said quietly, gathering her things.

"You know I don't mind, Petra. It's just a few hours, do what you gotta do," Violet assured, herding Finn and Poppy back into the circle for parallel play time.

"I owe you one," Petra called with a grin as she headed for the door.

Violet let out a quiet huff of a laugh as she watched the brunette disappear, returning her attention to the group on the floor. She gave a faint smile before she settled on the floor just behind them, the thrum of a headache long forgotten in favor of the small voices and laughs around her.

"Finn, were you sharing cars with Alex? That was very nice of you,," she encouraged, watching the smile that beamed between them as something lurched in the space between her ribs.

This was an easy routine. Lesson plans she knew by heart, ones she had created herself alongside Nanaba and Petra. The afternoon parallel plays and sing-a-longs before parents pick up, the shrieks of laughter and excited voices fumbling for the right words as they learned. And in the center of it all - was Violet. She wasn't just watching, she was a part of it all. Interacting and building, helping them learn the world around them.

It healed a broken piece of her, even if it was in silence.

As the late afternoon persisted, Violet waved goodbye to Nanaba when she slipped out the door near the end of the day. It was common, Violet finishing up the parent hand off and closing up the room for the day. Finn was the last one for pick up, walking around the room with Violet to help pick up the remainder of the toys.

Still in hand, he clutched the worn teddy.

"Thank you for helping me clean up, Finn. Did you have fun today?"

Violet shifted to sit on the floor cross legged after a moment, bringing herself eye-level with the child. Finn fidgeted with his bear for a moment, nodding softly.

"Miss Aka-man?"

"Yes, Finn? Is everything okay?"

"Mommy have baby in - in belly."

Violet gave a nod, watching the way his eyes flickered to the floor, a level of uncertainty behind his gaze.

"Are you happy?" Violet's tone remained steady, voice falling softer to maintain a level of calm.

"No no."

I don't know.

Violet gave a slow nod before offering her hands for Finn. An option to take or leave, giving him control over the choice. Finn eyed her invitation, taking a tentative step forward. One hand grasped hers, small fingers curling around calloused palm. The other pressed the bear into her hand before he all but stumbled into her lap, head pressed against her shoulder.

"Do you feel scared to have a baby sibling, Finn?"

Violet's arms shifted around the child, protective and cautious and unyielding. A steady for the storm, for the uncertainties of emotions a child so small couldn't quite voice.

"Mommy lay down lots."

Violet gave a nod, the weight of his head now pressing into her shoulder.

"Does mommy not feel good?"

"No. Mommy hurt."

Violet knew how hard Maise's first pregnancy had been, bedrest for the better part of it all and Finn coming almost 4 weeks too early. She had sat with Eren countless nights during those 4 weeks, remembering how he paced holes in the hospital hallways. Remembering how he all but curled around Maise's side during visiting hours, a trembling fear he denied time and time again, but he couldn't lie to Violet.

Violet knew the look, remembered seeing it in Levi's own eyes more than once after one of her grueling procedures. It was a fear that settled in the marrow, coursing through the veins and settling behind the eyes until the irises were haunted.

"Does it make you scared when mommy is sick?"

"Yeah."

Violet's hand came up, gentle as it found the side of Finn's head, giving an easy press against her shoulder. Just enough pressure to let him feel something solid, to find assurance in the warmth of Violet's comfort.

"We have some time before daddy gets here, do you want to draw a card for mommy to make her happy?"

Finn's head snapped around, eyes flickering with quiet excitement before giving an eager nod. Violet's smile grew, but remained gentle. "Come on, let's get some paper and crayons," she hummed, helping him stand.

Finn hurried to the closest table as Violet rummaged for a box of (mostly) intact crayons and a few pieces of construction paper, folding them before placing them in front of Finn. Violet sat in the chair across from him, content to watch as he moved with nothing short of determination, tongue poking from the side of his mouth and brows furrowed. Violet let her head tilt, watching with a sense of fascination at how rapidly Finn had shifted gears.

It made her heart stutter, just for a moment. A reminder that she had a place in the lives of these children, not just as a daycare teacher, but someone to be a support.

The only sound in the room became the steady back and forth of crayons over paper, Violet unwilling to break the steady that Finn had created for himself. Finally, a flicker of movement caught her attention.

She blinked.

Was that Marco?

She studied the figure moving down the hall when the familiar laugh caught her ears. That was definitely Marco. Her head tilted in quiet curiosity, eyes turning back to Finn who was still hyper focused on his artwork.

Violet stood slowly, steps silent as she crossed the room to the half-opened door of the classroom. She pushed the door open, her lip curling up into a flickering smirk. It wasn't her usual look, it wasn't sharp. But it was still Violet.

"Funny seeing you here," she finally commented, her voice carrying down the near empty hall. Her eyes checked back just once to ensure Finn was still enraptured, letting herself look towards a surprised Marco.

"Violet! I didn't realize this was the daycare-" he cut himself short with a laugh as he settled a wriggling toddler on their feet, taking their hand instead. "My brother asked me if I could pick up my nephew today, didn't think I'd be seeing you," Marco smiled, stepping towards Violet.

"I didn't realize you had a nephew that went here," she responded with a soft laugh.

Her mouth opened, but was quickly snapped shut when she felt a small hand grip at her pantleg.

"Miss Aka-man?"

Violet's attention shift was immediate, turning to kneel at Finn's eye level. Her expression shifted, the smirk faltering for the softened smile.

"Is everything okay, Finn? Did you need more paper?"

"Friend?"

Finn pointed to Marco, looking up to the freckled young man with a curious tilt of his head.

"Yes, he is my friend," Violet confirmed, lip twitching in favor of a fond smile as she turned her attention up to Marco.

"I should leave you, I know you're working. I'll catch you tomorrow in the study block?"

"I'll be there, regrettably," Violet said with a faint laugh, standing and lifting Finn with her, holding him against her hip. Finn's head shifted to rest on top of her shoulder, where shoulder met the curve of her neck. He gave a wave with the bear, other hand curling into a solid grip in Violet's shirt as Marco disappeared up the hall, child in tow.

"C'mon, let's finish up those cards," Violet encouraged, carrying Finn back to the table.

The sound of footsteps down the hall brought her attention to the door. Still in uniform, Nile strolled through the door, eyes carrying nothing short of exhaustion. He gave Violet a smile as he pushed open the door, Finn quick to his feet.

"Daddy-!"

Violet gave a low chuckle as she stood, gathering the cards and carrying them to meet Nile once he gathered Finn in his arms.

"You behave for Miss Ackerman today, Finn," Nile hummed.

Violet scrunched her nose.

"It's weird when you say it," she said with a soft snicker, head tilting as she offered the cards.

"Finn mentioned Maise has been feeling sicker than usual," she said quietly, a concern lacing what was typically a tone of indifference.

Nile let out a resigned sigh through his nose, giving a nod. "She has. This is a bit rougher than the first time around. Keeps having blood pressure dips," Nile muttered, his hand coming up to brush through Finn's hair, his thumb grazing his temple. "We've been keeping a close eye on everything though. So far, she's still in the safety zone."

"If anyone can do it, it's her," Violet murmured, eyes turning from Finn to Nile. "If you guys need anything, you know I don't care to help. Even if it's just watching Finn for a few hours."

"With your busy schedule," Nile hummed, trying to stifle the tension that attempted to flood the space. "Between Zeke and Eren, we've been able to manage well. But... I will keep that in mind."

Nile's eyes scanned her features for just a beat, finding traces of the child he found all those years ago. A sight that still haunted him, though he'd never speak on it. Not when she's come so far, finding her footing in a life hell bent on taking everything from her.

"I'll get out of your hair before Levi marches in here wondering what's taking you so long," Nile mused, giving a taunt wink before he shifted his grip on Finn.

"Let's go show mom what you made today, buddy. She's going to be so happy to see you..."

His voice trailed off as he disappeared back down the hallway, Violet watching until they turned out of sight. Her hand pushed through her hair, a faint sigh slipping before she turned back to the classroom to put away the crayons and anything else out of place.

She moved quietly, the fragility of the moment shifting into an emptiness that slid between her ribs before she realized what was happening.

A reminder of how damn lonely that silence could be.

𝘼𝙡𝙚𝙭𝙖, 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮 "𝙎𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚" 𝙗𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙨𝙝𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙤 

Chapter Text

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮, 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 "𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙁𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡" 𝙗𝙮 𝙍𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙗𝙤𝙬 𝙆𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙎𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙚

Levi was waiting, parked front and center. Leaning against the hood, his eyes were locked to the front of the daycare as Violet stepped out. Triple checking the locks, she finally pulled away and headed for the car.

There was a shift - undeniable by the way tension laced the air around her form. Her shoulders were too tight, posture too rigid, and she was hiding her limp with an adjusted gait. Violet refused to meet Levi's gaze, instead letting herself study his features before dropping her line of sight to the car.

"Come on, brat. Dinner is going to get cold at this rate."

Violet let out a huff through her nose at the peace offering disguised as usual banter. The promise that she didn't need to address anything now, or at all if she chose. She just needed to exist, to stay away from the ledge that tried to sway her into a void. That much, Violet could manage.

The ride was silent, but not uncomfortable. There was a need to simply exist in the company that was her comfort, an understanding Levi had carried as long as Violet was his. She curled into her spot, head pressed to the cold glass as lights blurred past her vision.

"We're still meeting Mikasa, right?"

"She's waiting for us."

Simple confirmation, but the side-long glance from Levi didn't go unnoticed by Violet. His silent observation to try and decide where her headspace was leading her, and when he needed to intervene. It was a delicate balance, one he'd all but perfected through the years.

For now, he remained silent, letting the air sit between them.

When the car lurched to a halt, Violet almost dreaded stepping out of the confines of the car, to navigate the brief walk with a leg that was aching more than she'd care to admit to.

Still, she stepped out.

She hadn't made it a full step before Levi rounded the car, moving at her side and just a step behind. He noticed the gait, because of course he did. The way she had shifted her weight, adjusted the length between her steps, how she leaned with the effort to walk without a limp, even if it caused a cramp.

Violet didn't say a word, letting him linger like a silent specter as they made their way inside the ramen house. Her arms crossed over her chest, eyes skimming for the familiar face of her cousin before finally -
There she was.

Mikasa sat at a corner table, eyes already focused on the pair that walked in, hand giving a half a wave as they moved to meet her.

"Hey Mika," Violet mumbled, sliding into the inside seat to be across from her, Levi claiming the spot next to Violet. "Hope you weren't waiting long."

"Not at all."

There was an ease that found its way into the air, despite the tension still coiled in Violet's muscles like a viper. A safety with unspoken promise, an understanding without the need for vocalization. Sitting, breathing, just existing became a second nature instead of a task Violet learned like survival. Leaning back in the chair, sinking into the wooden seat as she gave a low hum.

"How's the appetite," Levi asked after a moment, finger giving a tap once, twice on the menu in front of him.

"Better," Violet mumbled, feeling her phone buzz. Her eyebrow cocked as she pulled it out, earning a tilted look from Mikasa.

"Group chat. My phone buzzed too," Mikasa murmured.

"I'm not surprised," Violet huffed, curiosity grabbing her as she swiped it open.

Eren: I will pay someone for notes from Communications rn

Connie: You would

Sasha: Sounds like a personal prob :p

Violet let out a faint sound, caught between exasperation and amusement. "Dumbass," she muttered fondly before tucking the device away.

"Accurate one word summary of your friends," Levi commented, leaning back in his chair. The deadpan delivery completed the look of mild judgement he cast her way with a twitch of his eyebrow. "Rude," Violet scoffed back, the corner of her lip twisting up as she tapped at the menu. "Think I'm getting the Shoyu," she murmured, head giving a tilt.

"Extra bamboo?"

Levi knew the answer before he asked, but he learned that stimulation was always for the best on the days of her appointments. Anything to keep her in the moment, to make her think on something that wasn't the history that left her scarred.

"Always extra bamboo. That's like, the best part," she scoffed, mock annoyance dripping from her words with a tilted smirk.

"Then I'm taking your egg."

"Now wait a minute what the fuck-" Violet's words weren't much more than a squawk as she sat forward, eyes turning to level with Levi. Levi's lip broke into a faint, tight lipped smirk at the edges, letting himself turn just enough to meet her gaze. "What? If that's the best part, then-"

"Don't you dare touch my egg unless you want your kitchen towels going missing."

"Violet I swear to god-"

The threat was quickly dropped the moment the waitress made her rounds, blond bob shaking with each step.

"Time for weekly ramen already," she grinned, setting down three waters. Her hands settled on her hips, giving the group the smile of familiarity.

"Hey Hitch," Violet hummed, head tilting back as she gave an easy smirk. "Don't tell me you missed us already."

"Always do," she laughed, something genuine bleeding through the facade of customer service that eased a knot in Violet's chest. "Are we doing the usual or are we switching it up today?"

"Think I'm going with the Shoyu this time." Violet flipped the menu closed, passing it to Levi.

"Extra bamboo shoots?"

"I love how well you know me," Violet snickered, giving Levi a nudge with her shoulder.

"Usual for me." Levi's tone was laced with the typical indifference, but laced the rough edge as he nodded to Mikasa. "Usual?"

"Usual."

"Then I'll have that out at the usual time," Hitch announced with her bubbled smile, grabbing the menus before disappearing.

Violet watched her before returning her attention to the table, elbows coming up to rest on the table and chin cradled in her palm. Her nail tapped against her cheek, a rhythmic pattern that Levi was watching closely.

He let relief sag his shoulders when he realized the pattern was random. Not a code, not something learned out of necessity for safety. Just a mindless tic.

"Need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do in between classes tomorrow," she muttered after a moment.

"You have that weird break tomorrow, don't you?"

Violet looked at Mikasa and gave a nod. "9:30 lab for an hour, then I don't have another class until almost 3. The hell kind of nonsense is that?" She let out a faint scoff at the idea, like it was the biggest inconvenience of the week. Levi let out an amused huff through his nose.

"Could always run home and rest, you know. You have the time," he commented, eyebrows raised.

"Or, I do some conditioning. First game is in 3 weeks."

"Just don't overdue."

There was something doleful in Levi's tone. Knowing it would be an uphill battle if he attempted to insist she rest, but still felt the need to remind her of her body's needs. While Violet may know her body better than anyone - she also had a habit of forgetting she still had limitations. Even if she'd defied the odds, that didn't make her invincible.

"I'll stop if I start to ache." Her tone had fallen soft, a promise wrapped in that tilted curve of lip that she turned his way.

Levi merely gave a nod. It was enough.

By the time they were parting ways from Mikasa, that unease had crept back into Violet's shoulders. Taunt like a bowstring, her gaze was zeroed in on a spot ahead. Her arms crossed idly over her chest, she fell in step with Levi to the car - until she heard a familiar voice.

"Violet?"

Her posture stiffened for a breath before she turned around, letting her smirk slip into place, head tilting to the side.

"Beginning to think you're following me, Jean," she called, arms crossing over her chest and fingers curling in the fabric of her sweater.

Jean gave a cocked grin, caught between amused and sincere ashe shoved his hands in the pocket of his jeans, taking a few steps closer with Marco and Sasha at his side. "Nah, Sash just had a craving for ramen and I had a craving to not starve tonight. It was a win win." He gave a shrug, something casual that didn't match the tension that seemed to ignite around Violet.

Levi watched the interaction for a moment, giving Violet a long knowing look before he slipped into the driver seat, closing the door behind him.

"He's in a great mood as always," Jean commented, a low mumble that was nearly drowned by the starting of the engine.

Sasha gave a snort of laughter, stepping closer. "Seems about the usual. I take it you were just leaving?"

"Yeah, met Mikasa for dinner after work. Our weekly ramen night," Violet commented, her head shifting upright as she looked between the three.

"Glad you didn't get held up at the nursery too long," Marco piped in, giving that soft smile that met his eyes.

"Thankfully Nile is pretty punctual on pick up unless he gets a last minute call. If that's the case then I just give Eren a call," Violet explained with a shrug, leaning her back against the car as Jean's gaze shifted between Marco and Violet.

Curious, but not enough to speak up. At least, not yet it seemed, as Violet watched his gaze shift back to her own.

"Shame we didn't get to crash weekly ramen night," Jean mused, sliding through the tension with frustrating ease.

"You want to sit in awkward silence with Levi for an hour," Violet questioned, eyebrows disappearing into her bangs with amusement flashing in her half-lidded gaze.

"Second thought - good point. Maybe next time," he grinned, rocking back on his heels for a moment. He looked like he was going to speak again, when Marco beat him to it.

"We're probably holding you up, I'm sure you're ready to get home and rest."

Violet hated the way something in her braced, as though preparing for an impact that wouldn't come. The reminder that going home meant forcing sleep, and forcing sleep meant the hell that waited for her.

"Yeah, got a weird schedule tomorrow so I should try to get some sleep."

Jean's eyes went to the car - to Levi - before returning back to Violet, as though piecing together a puzzle that Violet's hadn't shared the full image of yet. Slow working pieces, ideas slipping into place that he wasn't ready to announce solved.

But, he was studying. That much Violet noticed.

"Hope you get some rest, Violet."

It was sincere, almost sweet in a way Violet didn't recognize as the words fell from Jean's lips.

"Shouldn't be hard. Catch you guys tomorrow."

She forced her smirk sharper, tightened her mask, and slipped into the passenger seat with a wave.

She didn't let herself relax until they were pulled out and out of sight, slumping against the seat and eyebrows furrowed.

"Kirstein looked like he was solving an algorithm for NASA," Levi commented after a moment of silence, eyes flickering to Violet with a cocked brow.

"Mhm."

Levi's finger tapped once on the steering wheel.

Violet was slipping into herself, the wash of grief cresting too close to the shore. Each wave, each pull, only served to drag her farther into the tide.

"Are you ever going to tell them, Vi?"

She let out a sound like a wrangled fawn, pathetic and wheezing from her throat.

"What does it matter," she finally managed, the attempt to sound harsh faltering for something of a whine.

Fear, Levi recognized.

"I know you aren't ashamed. Too damn much like me for that. So why not just rip off that bandaid?"

"Because then I have to talk about mo-" the word died with a sharp inhale, stuttering before exhaling with force unneeded. There was a moment of stillness in the car, the sound of the engine not enough to drown the unease.

"I don't want to explain. I can't explain what happened. And I don't want them looking at me like some fucking pity case. I've earned everything I've achieved, and no matter what happened to me, it doesn't change that fact."

Her tone had taken a desperate edge, one that she despised. It wasn't a need for validation, but understanding.

She didn't let her guard down. She didn't let anyone in. Not when it was agonizing to retell a story time and time again. Not when her vulnerabilities had been weaponized against her once before, a luxury she couldn't afford.

Not again.

Levi didn't speak, didn't give a verbal answer. His hand shifted from the steering wheel, finding her knee. His first finger moved, simple, precise. Grounding in the way Violet knew.

Tap Tap.

I'm here.

 𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮, 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 "𝙁𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚" 𝙗𝙮 𝙂𝙞𝙜𝙞 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙯

Chapter Text

𝘼𝙡𝙚𝙭𝙖, 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮 "𝙒𝙞𝙡𝙙 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨" 𝙗𝙮 𝙇𝙤 𝙎𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙨

Violet's room hadn't changed, even in her absence. Levi had commented about renting it out or turning into a space for books. Both were empty remarks when he knew this would always be her home. No matter what apartment she rented or house she wound up in, this room, this familiarity, would be her home.

Levi wouldn't dare take away something as sacred as her sanctuary.

Violet moved ahead of him into the space, hardwood floors covered with a plush center rug softening her steps as she settled in the center of the made mattress.

The same colors as her apartment, the dark grays and greens, and her favorite hues of violet that made the space hers. Levi placed her bag next to her, watching her expression, filing away the tension in her shoulders.

"I'll get the kettle on. Ready for your movie?"

Violet let her lip twitch into a smile, nodding.

A comfort from her days in the hospital, Gnomeo and Juliet had come on sometime after she woke from her second surgery. Violet couldn't remember why she had latched to the movie as hard as she had, why it became a comfort film on her hard days. But she never questioned it, and neither had Levi. It just became another part of routine.

She pushed from the bed, making her way to the living room when her phone buzzed.

Marco: @Violet you make it home okay?

Violet: Just got here, thanks Marco <3

Jean: Hope you get some actual rest, yeah?

Eren: You better or I stg I'm climbing through the window

Violet: How the hell do you plan to do that genius

Eren: You have a fire escape-

Connie: I'll film that shit

Jean: As long as someone starts a betting pool.

Mikasa: Eren Yeager-

Violet: I see Mikasa has this handled, I'm taking my ass to lay down. Don't bother me the rest of the night assholes <3 (Except Mika, she has permission.)

Violet let out a quiet snicker, tossing her phone on the table as she grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch. As promised, the movie was already set on the tv and Levi stood in the kitchen, working with a practiced ease over two tea cups.

This had been her childhood home since Levi had taken custody of her. The pain and floors never changed, familiar scuffs from childhood antics. High school trophies settled on the fireplace from Violet's high school career, paired with pictures from each final game of the season. The subtle signs of Levi's pride that bled through, reminded Violet that despite the blood she shared, despite what titles made them, she was Levi's through and through.

There was a warmth that Violet allowed, one that smoothed the lines of tension from her features and eased the taunt coil of muscles in her shoulders. She settled back in the corner of the cushion as Levi carried over the teacups, placing Violet's down first.

Leaning up, she grabbed it by the rim - just as she had learned from Levi, an old habit - pulling it up for a slow, controlled sip.

"Ready?"

The stoicism had faded from his tone, leaving behind the usual, gruffed edge he carried without trying. Violet nodded, leaning up to place the cup back on the table, the sound of the intro perking her attention, her eyes trained on the screen.

Shifting, Violet moved to settle with her head resting on Levi's lap, curled tight under the throw blanket. Levi's hands lifted, watching as she settled. His pulsed thrummed under his skin for just a moment, reminded of the quiet moments when she was in recovery, when he had finally been allowed to bring her home. Even now, she looked so damn small when she wanted to be. The softened edges of her vulnerabilities that existed in this house, meant for these walls.

One hand settled back on his cup, the other just against her shoulder.

Routine.

As the movie played, the knot in Violet's chest eased. Her lungs quit struggling, the hand that gripped her ribs and heart losing interest. Her eyes grew heavy, but she never fell into the pits of sleep. She felt the way Levi shifted every so often, leaning forward just enough to see if she was still awake, still watching. Every shift was met with the same two taps against his knee, a mirror of the ones he had given her earlier in the day.

Tap Tap.

Something in Levi settled at the taps, even if it was temporary. The reminder that she was still here, still fighting, just as alive as she had been every day since she woke up from surgery. His thumb brushed once over her shoulder in a knowing motion, the calloused pad of his thumb catching on the old sweater (that he knew damn well was one of his, but he'd never speak on it. Not when they were a comfort for her).

Watching the credits scroll, Violet pushed herself up slowly, working the stiffness from the shoulder with a few slow rolls. She winced as the joint popped, letting out a grumbled sound about 'getting old' that earned a snort of amusement from Levi.

"I don't want to hear about getting old," he muttered, standing to grab the teacup, taking them to the kitchen.

"I'll walk you to your room."

It wasn't a question, but a statement in the certainty he spoke it. Violet only nodded, standing and swiping her phone from the table.

A new message, her eyebrow cocking in curiosity at the unfamiliar number.

Then it clicked -

Jean.

Jean: Hey, grabbed your number from the group chat. Hope you don't mind, just wanted to check on ya after this afternoon. Remember you looked tired.

Her inhale wasn't sharp, but unbalanced. Her head tilted, eyebrows furrowing in what could only be described as confusion as she read the message over three times. Her finger tapped once against the side of her phone, debating an answer.

Finally-

Violet: I'm good, just tired. About to crash out for the night.

Easy response, even if it wasn't entirely the truth. It wasn't needed.

She didn't dwell on it any further,

"Ready, brat," Levi murmured, but his words lacked any true heat. Just the usual affection that betrayed him in the rough edges.

"All ready," she hummed, turning back as he flipped the lights off in the kitchen. He fell just a step behind her, letting her set the pace to her room. Fairy lights cast low yellow light in the space, shadows obscuring in odd shapes as she moved to her bed. Levi remained in the doorway, arms crossed and shoulder propped on the frame.

"I'll be up the hall."

It was a lie. Levi would settle back in the living room, waiting for the inevitable crash of night terrors.

"I'll be fine," Violet murmured, despite knowing better.

Levi nodded. He didn't push, he never pushed. He knew this routine. "Get some rest, Vi. I'll see you in the morning."

He didn't close the door all the way, leaving just enough of a crack for a sliver of rich yellow glow to spill into the otherwise darkened hallway. Violet sat upright for a moment, eyes on the door, ears listening to the familiar cadence of his footsteps as they disappeared down the hallway towards the living room.

Finally, Violet forced herself down under the sheets, settled in the scent of lavender washed pillow cases and pressed under the weighted blanket. Her arms found one of the pillows, pressing it to her chest as she tucked her head into the crevice of another. She stared blankly at the wall, letting herself focus on a singular point until it grew hazy.

Piece by piece, the world shifted, fading into the void that fought to grasp her through the day.

And just like that, she lost the control she craved to keep.

~~~

.

.

.

.

She woke with a gasp, the air trapped somewhere between her lungs and throat. There wasn't a bed under her, not anymore. It was replaced with the hardwood floors of Levi's living room. Confusion crept in as she moved to her feet, despite the tremor in her legs.

She heard beeping.

It was steady, rhythmic.

Medical machines.

Trembling steps carried her through the darkened hallway. The room at the end was closed off, but pale light spilled from the crack at the edges of the door. Her brow dipped into a frown, but she pressed on.

Her eyes turned down, causing her steps to nearly falter. When had she changed into a hospital gown?

She attempted to ignore it, to force down the dread rising in her chest, simply press forward.

Each step brought her closer to the door, to the beeps. Halfway down the hall, the paint began to peel off the walls. Pictures of her childhood crumbled, shredding before they hit the floor. No noise existed beyond the beeps, and the light shifted. A shadow passing through its path far too quickly.

Violet stopped, attempting to backpedal when a tug in her arm stopped her.

An IV pole, not attached, now stood next to her right arm. She didn't remember it there before, the squeak of the wheels or the subtle tug of the nonexistent line. A hand reached out, fingers twitching as it wrapped around the cool metal of the pole.

She pressed forward until she rested a hand against the door, giving it a decisive push.

The taste of heavy metal hit her tongue first, and it was everything in her not to double over.

Crimson, thick and deep in color coated the floors and the PPE of the surgical team. In the center of the room, Violet was on the table. Every wound fresh, the frantic beep of the monitors that indicated how tired she'd become in her fight.

But Violet also stood, at the foot of the surgical table, a scalpel in her tiny grip and eyes wild. Blood stained her forehead, her stomach. Part of her leg was missing-

"Stop-"

Her voice was rasp, falling on deaf ears as the surgical team continued moving. One grabbed a tube, preparing for intubation. Another was adjusting her IV, while a third prepped for the inevitable code blue.

She felt the scrap of the tube, the lining too thick in her throat as she began to gag. She needed it out, she needed to breathe, her lungs constricting with the effort.

The eyes turned to her, the lights shifting into something darker, the fluorescents giving way for pale yellow light. And those eyes -

She knew those eyes.

Cold. Dark. Detached. The eyes that watched life slip away from her. The eyes that ended her mother's life.

The Violet at the end of the bed screamed, the IV line ruptured, and the light shattered.

.

.

.

.

.

~~~

Levi's POV

Levi was moving before he fully registered the first scream. He hadn't fallen asleep, not quite yet. The clock blinked some ungodly hour just past 2 a.m., but couldn't find it in him to care. Not when he knew this was inevitable.

Her nightmares had never really gone away, even after years of therapy and counseling. They lingered, and the night terrors hit hardest after PTSD flares.

Even the silent flares that she didn't speak on. The flares that come with her routine visits, with her medical clearances. When she was forced to face the same environment that she nearly lost her life and her leg, and her mind spiraled in ways they'd never been able to grasp.

Surging through the door, Violet clawed at her throat, writhing in place. He stepped forward, but didn't grab her. Never grabbed her, not until she was back.

"Violet."

Not unkind, but not soft. A command wrapped in her name alone.

She quit clawing, the hand resting over her throat. Nails poised for another grab, but they didn't move. Not yet.

"Violet, I need you to listen to me. I need you to come back to me."

Calm, assertive. Approaching it too soft, and she spiraled again. Too aggressive, and it triggered a panic. There was a delicate in between that Levi knew to walk with caution. Even as he felt his fingers twitch, the need to remind himself that she was real, and not trapped in a hell beyond his reach, he refrained.

"I need you to listen, Violet. You're at home. You're with me. You're safe."

Another moment of labored, ragged breaths from Violet. Her fingers twitched like she was going to claw once more, but it didn't move. Her eyelids fluttered, eyes bloodshot as they searched for Levi.

"Good, that's good. Keep coming back to me, Violet."

Repetition of her name, a way for her to ground herself back into the reality of now. His eyes didn't leave hers, his hands remained lifted in a semi-surrender, just enough for her to see.

"Are you with me, Violet?"

There was a pause, her pupils pinpoints as they focused on the man next to her, finding her steady.

He watched, waiting, let the breath catch in his chest as though any shift would make her vanish from sight. Finally, he saw the movement. Her fingers, tapping twice against the side of her throat.

"Good. That's good. Let's work on your breathing, Violet."

He moved slowly, sitting at the edge of her bed with deliberate care, giving her time to tell him to leave if it was too much.

"You remember how we breathe?"

She gave a slow nod, eyes still wide as they watched him, but her pupils began to dilate, adjusting to the room. Her hand trembled as it left her throat, fingers reaching for Levi with an uncertain twitch.

Levi's hand came up, his grasp tender when he found her hand, pressing it to his chest.

"Right there, feel that? You're here. You're with me. Breath with me. In for four. . ."

Each breath was counted in, each hold was measured, and each exhale was timed. An exercise they repeated, over and over until Violet shifted forward. Tears finally pricked the hazed eyes, spilling over as her forehead pressed into Levi's shoulder.

Levi's arms moved before he could register the motion, arms moving on instinct as they wrapped her in a firm grip. He shifted, tucking her head under his chin as thin fingers twisted into his shirt.

"I've got you. You're here."

Less a command, more the ragged relief he couldn't quite shield with the indifference he sported better than any mask. The shoulders jerked under the force of the sobs, the incoherent mumbles of bright lights and all the blood.

They'd never gotten away from the blood in her nightmares.

Levi didn't move. Not when her sobs subsided to ragged exhales. Not when her breathing steadied into something softer, something manageable. Levi didn't move until she was slumped back into the pillowed, exhaustion winning over as the dawn crested the horizon in hues of purple and orange.

He shifted into her study chair, elbow propped on the arm and fingers pressed to his temple, watching with something bitter on his tongue.

How dare she still be a victim, all these years later. How dare the universe still push her to her breaking point, time and time again, for the sin of blood she'd never spilled.

𝘼𝙡𝙖𝙧𝙢, 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 "𝙏𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙒𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙠" 𝙗𝙮 𝙅𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙪𝙧

Chapter Text

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮, 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 “𝘼𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙁𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙪𝙣,” 𝙗𝙮 3 𝘿𝙤𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝘿𝙤𝙬𝙣

The way Violet hadn’t even opened the group messages - nor the ones sent by Connie or Mikasa - were more than telling for the night she had. They didn’t push, however. They never did, and it was something Violet found comforting, knowing she wouldn’t need to relive the dreams that haunted her just to prove she was okay.

Still, she wasn’t entirely surprised to see Connie waiting for her near the psychology building with a matcha latte in hand, accompanied by that knowing, cocked grin of assurance.

“Figured you’d need this to stay awake through a boring ass psych lab,” he grinned, handing off the travel mug with a shrug of indifference.

“You figured right,” she muttered, taking the cup while her forehead gave his shoulder a light bump. A quiet appreciation for not pointing out how her makeup was heavier than usual, an attempt to look well rested under a layer of concealer and graphic band sweater.

“You got practice tonight?”

“Mhm. Starts at 5, I think. Need to double check team chat,” she answered, pulling the cup to her lips and taking a deliberately slow sip. Just enough to allow a moment to lull without the need to find an explanation or anything to fill the space.

“We might catch the end of it, Historia has cheerleading practice this afternoon and she mentioned something about the boba place just off campus afterwards.” A pause. “If you’re up for it after practice.”

“Not the worst idea, gotta wait for Levi to be finished up anyways. My car is at my apartment.”

She saw the way his eyes flickered over just once, the subtle confirmation that she hadn’t, in fact, stayed in the empty space of her apartment last night.

“I can take ya home, Vi.” There wasn’t pity in his tone, he knew better. Just the light hearted amusement as his arm nudged hers with just enough force to be felt and playful. “Unless you need to go back to Levi’s, but I can do that too.”

“Nah, I didn’t leave anything I need right away. He has my gym bag in his office so I’ll need to grab that later but otherwise…” She shrugged. Casual indifference, her specialty when a particularly rough night had her on edge more than her usual. “We’ll see how I feel after practice, how about that,” she muttered, an empty smirk pulling taunt at her lip as she finally let her gaze meet Connie’s.

There was a hint of concern he didn’t voice, but he couldn’t quite mask. Violet didn’t quite have the energy to speak on it, and instead let it hang between them.

“Hey, Violet!”

The voice of Marco cut through the moment, the pair now turning to see the familiar freckled face making his way down the sidewalk with Jean and Sasha in tow.

Violet let her lip curl into a smirk, half guarded and half familiar as she gave a tilt of her head. Connie, meanwhile, had given Sasha an obnoxious cry out like a dead mating call as he offered a high five.

“Hey guys.” Violet’s tone was shifted, a detached indifference as she shoved her hands in her pockets to stop them from tapping against her thighs. “Marco, ready for lab?”

“About as ready as I can be,” he grinned, shifting his bag before his expression softened. “You feeling alright after yesterday?”

“Better than Connie after his wipe out in Mario Kart-”

“HEY-”

Connie had a look of utter betrayal as Sasha cackled, Violet shooting him a dry smirk. “What can I say, not my fault you can’t simply avoid the banana peels like everyone else.”

“I brought you a LATTE and I got repaid with sass. This is cruelty, Vio. Truly.” He let out an exaggerated sigh, arm thrown against his forehead as he sulked against Jean’s side. Jean reacted promptly, giving him a shove off accompanied by an eye roll. “Flail on the pavement, weirdo,” he scoffed, but the smirk that tugged his lip betrayed the amusement.

Suddenly, those honey-brown eyes were on Violet. Too observant, too aware of how hollowed she was behind her own gaze. Her eyebrow cocked, meeting his gaze head on once more.

There was a flash of a moment, the night of the party where they had remained in quiet awareness for a few moments. Simply analyzing, observing in their own ways. Violet began to wonder just how much he had actually learned in those few moments, and what she had missed.

She didn’t dwell on it, and for once - Violet turned away first.

She knew how easy it would be for her own eyes to betray her today.

“Didn’t think you were a psych major, Jean. What are you doing on this side of campus,” she mused, an attempt to find a topic of distraction, something that would avert questions.

“Heading to the art buildings, figured I’d walk with these two on my way,” he shrugged, eyes flickering for a moment from Marco to Violet.

“Sasha has something on this side,” Connie said with a cocked eyebrow.

“Genetics lab is this way,” Sasha grinned, head cocked to the side.

“Mad scientist or-” Violet started, eyebrows now disappearing into her bangs with curiosity that nearly looked scrutinizing.

“Zoology, Vi,” Connie filled in with a snicker, giving her another gentle nudge. At least she was present, even if she was stumbling a bit.

“Should see her after a caffeine crash out,” Jean started, already moving to dodge the inevitable swing from Sasha. “Now that gives mad scientist,” he completed with a cocked grin, sidestepping the half assed swing.

“How did I get drug into this,” she gasped, but the curl of her lip gave way to amusement.

“Something by proxy.” Violet let her shoulders roll in a shrug, half-lidded eyes turning to the building.

“You want to head in, Violet? Maybe we can find a spot together, I’d be surprised if we don’t end up in groups, or at least partners.” Marco’s offer was genuine, tone and smile and eyes lining up with a sincerity that Violet still struggled to understand.

“Not the worst idea,” she mused, shifting the grip on her bag, giving a nod. “Ready when you are. Con, I’ll catch you later.”
“I’ll catch you after practice, don’t you worry,” Connie grinned with an arm slung around her shoulder. “Try not to fall asleep in the lab.”

“Shut up,” she scoffed, pushing his arm off despite the smirk that played on her features. “I’ll see you after practice. Should be over around 7.”

“You have practice too,” Jean asked with a raised brow, letting the curiosity win out.

“Volleyball season is officially back in swing.” Her lip shifted, smirk giving way to a grin that painted something softer, vulnerable that lasted for a half a second, disappearing as quickly as it came.

“Marco, c’mon. I don’t want to get my ass ripped on the first day,” she mused, brushing past the moment before it could settle too deep.

“Catch you guys for lunch,” Marco called, giving a wave before he fell into step with Violet who had turned without a word, heading for the front of the building.

Violet ignored the eyes she still felt following her, pretended she didn’t already know the questions dancing on Jean’s tongue that she’d leave unanswered. Instead, she let her gaze fall sideways to Marco next to her, who simply seemed happy to just have company. Even if it was her own.

“Hey. . . you seem a little tense. If you need to skip out, I can cover you with some excuse,” Marco offered, his tone low, remaining gentle.

“Need the distraction. And what better than a boring introduction to a lab,” Violet mused back, letting a hint of honesty slip through she often didn’t allow herself.

Marco’s lip twisted into a knowing smile, nodding.

The silence was oddly comfortable, Violet realized. It wasn’t awkward, there was no expectation of conversation or questions that could land wrong, despite the innocence of them. There was just existence, and Violet allowed herself the time to breathe before they stepped into the classroom.

Violet followed Marco’s lead, finding a spot at an open table towards the middle of the class. She slid into the chair next to Marco, elbow propping in front of her and chin settled into her open palm. Eyes of stone and steel skimmed over the class, over the faces she didn’t know and tried to piece together the few that she thought were familiar.

Her train of thought was interrupted when the professor walked in, her eyes shifting to the greying man who looked like he lived off NyQuil and break room coffee.

She kept the commentary to herself, listening instead as he droned on about class expectations and the outline of coursework. Her eyes skimmed to Marco when he mentioned partnered projects, Marco giving her a knowing smile, one that carried words without verbalization.

I’ve got you.

It was a strange assurance she hadn’t realized settled in her chest like it belonged.

She settled for a faint exhale through her nose, an acknowledgment she could give without betraying the weight it left on her lungs.

Finally, finally, they were dismissed after a long hour of monotone instructions that made Levi look like a drama teacher in comparison. Violet grabbed her things as she stood, head turning to find Marco who was tucking away his laptop.

“At least we know we’ll have each other as a partner for the semester,” he commented with a grin, pulling his bag over his shoulder.

“I won’t complain too much,” she mused, her smirk bordering playful as they stepped from the classroom and back into the bustling hallway.

“Do you have anything else?”

“Not until like, 3. I’m going to do some track conditioning before I grab lunch, just need to run to Levi’s office and grab my bag,” she hummed. The idea of sitting still wasn’t one Violet enjoyed, especially when the opportunity presented itself for a taste of freedom.

“Conditioning and practice later? You’re dedicated,” Marco mused, but his tone was something of near genuine awe.

“I like running, always have. Never really sat still as a kid.”

A partial truth, at least. She had spent weeks, months immobilized, trapped in a bed or a wheelchair while her body healed. A part of her that now loathed the concept of feeling like she was stuck in place, finding a constant need to just move.

“I respect it, it takes discipline, you know? I’m excited to see you play.”

Violet’s eyebrows arced.

“You’re going to come to games?”

“Connie mentioned he goes with Mikasa and Sasha, I thought you wouldn’t mind some extra support. If that’s okay with you.”

Violet hated the lurch in her chest, the air stolen from her lungs. It was something mundane, a simple kind gesture. One that would be expected of friends. Yet it was something Violet wasn’t used to, not from people that weren’t the safety she’d come to know.

“I can’t tell you not to go to a game, Marco,” she managed, a weak chuckle making it past her lips.

Then, softer.

“I’ll be looking for you, then. But if you’re sitting with Connie, Cue-Ball isn’t hard to miss,” she murmured, a rare sincerity wrapped in the dry sarcasm that was her armor.

Marco let out a laugh, his shoulder brushing her own. “Count on it, then,” he beamed, pushing open the door to lead them out to the campus grounds.

The chilled air rushed Violet’s lungs before she had a chance to speak, thankful for the reason. Taking a slow inhale, her head shifted just enough to catch Marco with a side-long look.

“I’m going to grab my things from Levi’s office, but I’ll catch you later?”

“Are you coming tonight for boba? Think it’s just kind of a group of us going,” Marco offered with a grin.

“Sure.”

Violet wasn’t sure when she decided on that, but she wouldn’t consider it for long, lest she talk herself out of it. For now, she could pretend to exist as something that wasn’t jagged at her edges and clinging by bandages and metal plates.

“Great! I’ll see you later, Violet!”

Marco gave a wave, walking backwards just long enough for his expression to split into a grin before he turned and jogged off, leaving Violet standing for a moment too long, lost in her own confusion. Then, as though snapped from a trance, she turned, making her way to Levi’s office.

~~~

Violet hadn’t been long, with Levi still mid class. She slipped in and out with a familiar ease, pulling the gym bag over her shoulder and making her way to the locker rooms near the track.

The bag dropped to the bench without ceremony, digging through to find the sweats and compression shirt she used for track warm ups. She took advantage of the empty space, pausing as she changed to inspect her scarred thigh in the mirror.

It ran a considerable length of her thigh, starting just above her knee and cutting a path up, breaking otherwise smooth skin. The scar had healed better than the doctor’s expected, though that didn’t negate the fact that she still bore the mark of survival. Stark white, a valley in the front of her leg that served as a reminder, on good days and bad.

Her fingers grazed the surface for a moment, the healed skin numb under her touch.

It made her ache, knowing a sensation was lost.

Her fingers jerked away, sudden and sharp, before reaching for her sweatpants to pull on. The compression shirt came next, the fabric a familiar comfort. Her hair was pulled into a loose braid, dark strands tied off with practiced efficiency before digging for the bluetooth earbuds that would drown the rest of the world out, just for a little while. Her fingers dusted loose hairs from her lashes, finding they were already twitching at her sides. The need to simply move before the quiet voices began to grow.

Leaving the locker room, Violet was zeroed in on the track just ahead. Making her way to the starting lines, she started with her stretches. The chill of the air settled in her lungs, a barrier against any lingering ghosts that dared disturb her peace when this was her element. She had been born to run, she was sure of it.

Or perhaps it was just the lingering fear of what had been nearly ripped away from her. How running, how just walking, became a part of life she couldn’t afford to take for granted.

Her jaw clenched, an echo of a voice breaking through the calm without permission. Her shoulders rolled, an involuntary action as she pressed her earbuds in. Shaking out her hands, she found her spot and crouched into a runner’s starting stance.

Breath in.

Breath out.

Run.

Violet was moving before her mind truly caught up, body pushing from instincts and years of muscle memory. Her strides were purposeful, a power behind each thump to the ground below her and a testament to the fire that still burned at her core. Chasing, burning, searching with a need that bordered on obsessiveness. The reminder that her heart was still beating, that her lungs still worked, still screamed for air when she pushed just too hard.

Yet, it was never enough.

There was never enough ground for her to eat away, never enough air strangling her lungs to sooth an ache that existed somewhere marrow deep in bone and flowed through her veins thicker than her own blood. Grief and anger, a combination that was explosive on the best of days. A delicate balance of locking herself away and letting herself be seen just enough to prove her existence.

She owed her mother that much, at least. For her daughter to be known, to remind the world her mother’s child was still breathing.

Even on the days when breathing felt like drowning, and a beating heart felt like a clock she’s forgotten to silence in the dead of night.

Violet didn’t slow, didn’t bother stopping until something - no, correction, someone - caught her attention, just at the side of the track. She slowed, just enough to turn her head to get a proper look at who else had stepped to the empty track, eyebrow cocked in curiosity.

Reiner, from the looks of it.

He lingered at the fence, arms leaned against the chain link. His gaze was curious, assessing as she allowed herself to come to a slow stop, hands propped on her hips before she approached. She didn’t pull an earbud out until she was closer, head tilting.

“Looks like you’re trying to outrun a damn racehorse,” Reiner commented, eyebrow cocked in mild amusement, the grin that pulled his lip a friendly one.

Violet let out a low snort. “Something like that, yeah.”

“Came to get a few laps in, needed a break from the weight room. Mind if I join you?”

“I don’t own the track.”

Reiner’s lip twitched into something else, not quite amusement, not quite endearing. Just acceptance that it was the closest he’d get to an actual yes from Violet.

But Violet waited for him to round the fence at the gate, toe kicking at the track for a moment while she waited, eyes shifted from the overcast to the blonde that approached.

“You sure I’m not interrupting?”

“What would you be interrupting,” she asked, voice chiding with a mild indifference.

Reiner paused, eyes studying her features for a breath too long before he finally shrugged.

“You don’t really see someone run like that unless they’re running from something, that’s all.”

Violet managed to keep her fingers from white-knuckling at her sides, instead letting her jaw clench just once, long enough to ache, before it settled. “I just like running.”

“Then let’s run,” he mused, grin turning up friendly, blissfully unaware of the landmine he’d nearly tripped.

Violet nodded, shifting to the starting point once more, her eyes focused on a point just beyond the track neither could truly see. An image, an idea of peace she’d never know that danced just out of her reach.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Run.

Rhythm, routine, understanding. Each pace matching the thrum of her heart between aching ribs and lungs that screamed in a protest that Violet ignored. All the while, far too aware that this time, she was sharing the unspoken grief with someone else. Someone who didn’t know the weight she carried within each step, each pass of the starting line.

She’d never forget the way it made something curdle in her gut.

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 “𝙄𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙜𝙤,” 𝙗𝙮 𝙎𝙖𝙢 𝘽𝙖𝙧𝙗𝙚𝙧, 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙩. 𝘼𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝘼𝙣𝙣𝙖

Chapter Text

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮, 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 “𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘾𝙖𝙫𝙚” 𝙗𝙮 𝙈𝙪𝙢𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙎𝙤𝙣𝙨

The afternoon continued, whether Violet willed it to or not. She finished her laps with Reiner, the pair carrying a light banter as they returned to the life of campus. Violet found an easy excuse to slip away, muttering something about meeting Levi before she disappeared down the sidewalk without another glance back. Reiner, to his credit, didn’t try to press or push. He gave a simple nod of understanding, allowing himself a moment to watch her walk away before he finally moved.

The sidewalk under foot felt strange when she wasn’t trying to outrun the past, almost uncomfortably so. Her fingers flexed against the strap of her bag once, twice. A huff through her nose betrayed the moderate irritation, but her expression remained schooled into collected calm.

She headed for Levi’s office to drop off her bag before next class, feeling the buzz of her phone as she moved. Her hand went to the device, pulling it out with a faint tilt of her head.

Eren: Hey, did you eat yet?

Violet: No, taking my bag to Levi’s office rq

Eren: Want to grab something off campus?

Violet: Sure

Her thumb tapped her screen idly before she locked it back, ignoring the weight of knowing she’d have to be in the presence of someone that understood. For now, it was just one foot in front of the other. The rest, she could handle when she came to it.

Reaching the offices, her head stayed low until she found Levi’s door and stepped inside.

“Glad you remembered how knocking works,” Levi commented without looking up from the monitor.

“Just dropping off my bag, I’ll be back for it after Intro to Counseling,” Violet muttered, moving to the corner just behind his desk and letting the bag fall from her shoulders.

The chair shifted, Levi turning to find her gaze. Familiar, a subtle warmth that was hidden well.

“Are you sore?”

“No.”

“Are you lying?”

“Said ‘m fine,” she muttered, her voice falling to the tone of someone who knew they’d been caught.

“Just take something anti-inflammatory in the least.” Levi’s tone brokered no argument, but it wasn’t unkind. Just the tone of the man that knew what happened when Violet needed to chase the sensation that she wasn’t so broken.

“I will. I need to eat first. I’m going to meet Eren for some lunch.”

“Good, you need it.” A hint of approval crept into the gruffed undertone, the older man leaning back in his chair with arms crossed.

There was a beat of silence as Violet finally met his gaze, holding it with a quiet reverence.

“And do me a favor.”

Violet’s eyebrow cocked in quiet skepticism. “Yes?”

“Make sure Porco stays the hell away from you.”

Violet watched the way Levi’s gaze narrowed at her stutter, the way her breath caught in her throat for just a moment too long.

The silence was damning.

“How did-”

“Saw him this morning.”

The shift in Levi’s tone nearly made her flinch, even if the annoyance and deep-seated resentment wasn’t aimed at her. The silence that followed was strained, a tension that threatened to shatter any semblance of peace they held.

Levi was the first to break the silence.

“How long have you known?”

Violet, for once, felt like a child getting scolded, her eyes on the floor and shoe kicking idly at the tiled floor.

“Found out when I went to Eren’s party,” she finally answered, voice hardly above a whisper and uncharacteristically soft, tensing for a lashing that wouldn’t come.

Instincts were instincts after all, some that can’t leave the body no matter how long since they were needed for survival.

“Violet…” Levi’s voice shifted, tight-lipped concern taking over before he could reel himself back in. Slowly, her eyes returned to his features, to find the way he fixed his expression to the mask of cooled impasse.

“I just want you to be careful. That’s all I ask,” he finally stated, the words falling with a weight heavier than his gaze allowed.

“You know I always am.”

“I know.”

The silence filled the office, broken by the tick of the analog clock above the door.

“Get some lunch. I’ll come by your practice later to watch.” There was a pause. “Text me if you need a break.”

“I will.”

Violet moved before she could finish speaking, stepping from the office and leaving the tension to eat through her ribs in the wake of self-imposed silence.

She loathed the way her heart beat against its cage, how a panic over something so mundane had settled in. Levi hadn’t been wrong, truthfully. After the mess Porco had left her in, Levi’s concern was warranted. Yet something about it caught Violet in a way that was near unsettling. The false pretense that she couldn’t take care of herself, that she still needed to be watched.

It sounded ridiculous, and yet a piece of her refused to acknowledge otherwise.

Pushing aside the frustration, she stepped through the threshold and back into the late summer air, eyes scanning her surroundings. She was damn near delighted to see Eren was lingering nearby, standing idly on his skateboard as wheels glided up and down the sidewalk without intent. The sight was familiar, warm in a way that allowed a knot in her chest to ease. Her pace hurried, steps a low thump under her as she threw up a hand.

Eren was alert as ever, a trait he stubbornly held to for the sake of his friends. The shift in his peripheral didn’t go unnoticed, someone moving towards him with vigor.

Violet met his gaze the moment he turned, the skateboard now in hand and sporting that crooked grin, all teeth and something knowing.

“‘Bout time. Levi giving you another lecture about running your ass off,” Eren commented, tone heavier than his words. There was knowledge beneath the question, but room for deflection.

There was a pause as Violet closed the distance to stand in front of him, hands pushed in the pocket of her jeans. She rocked on her heels for a moment, long enough for the silence to stretch to a point Eren raised a brow.

“He saw Porco this morning,” she finally muttered.

Eren’s smile faltered.

“I take it that didn’t go well.”

Violet shrugged. “Better than I expected, if we’re being honest. Not that I expected it to go particularly stellar. But, he left it at ‘stay away from him’ so I’ll take it.”

Levi wasn’t just stern, the man was imposing. Unshakable and carried the air of no bullshit, it didn’t take a genius to recognize his path wasn’t one to be crossed. It was one of the ways Violet differed from the man, her own danger laying below the surface. Hidden by the lazy smirk, she didn’t let her body betray her tension, the way her muscles pulled taunt at the wrong questions, the wrong voices.

The wrong grip.

“Hey, forget about that asshole anyways. He’s not going to get near you. C’mon, let's get some food.”

Eren’s voice broke the threat of her own mind, drawing a half tugged smile, caught between genuine and something worn for show. Violet gave a nod, a hand moving to push her hair back.

“What are you feeling,” Eren asked as they took the first few steps towards the edge of campus. The question earned a thoughtful hum from Violet, her head tilting back for a moment as she studied the clouds overhead. A chill settled in flushed cheeks, eating through the sweater as though it wasn’t there.

“I bet that mom and pop deli started seasonal soup,” she finally hummed, lip twitching and eyebrow cocked up as she looked up to the brunette next to her. Eren grinned, dropping the skateboard next to him as he stepped back on it, wheels in a languid roll next to her. His hands came up, twisting his hair back in a low bun before he gave a light kick off on the sidewalk.

The silence was comfortable, maintained as they stepped off campus and to the next block up. Eren stuck close, even on the board. An easy roll next to her before he finally stepped off, popping the board back up into his hand.

Violet was admittedly grateful for the silence. After the weight of Reiner’s company in a moment meant for solace, she needed to breathe.

She nearly felt guilty for that ideal, that Reiner had interrupted something when she hadn’t explicitly explained what he was interrupting. It was a catch 22, in a sense. Either she explained part of the grief, why she felt the need to run when the aches threatened, or she swallowed the pain and existed.

She’s existed for this long, she could exist for a few laps.

Eren reached the door first, a ringed hand pulling it open for the both of them. Stepping in behind her, Violet took a moment to appreciate the ease of the shop around them. It was cozy, with pictures of the restaurant through the years hung across the walls. Old antiques and wrought iron chairs surrounding polished wood tabletops, a warmth from ovens and a stovetop that wrapped them in a world of their own.

“Gods, that smells good,” Violet murmured, shuffling towards the counter with Eren on her heels. Spices wafted the air, something hearty on the stovetop in the kitchen hidden by a flimsy black door. The case was half empty, still fresh baked goods steaming in the glass. Eren gave a nod, eyes already locked on the pastry case.

Ordering with the sweet older woman at the counter, they moved off to find a table to settle into. “Here’s one,” Eren muttered, finding a spot near the far corner. Just enough to see the door, far enough to keep their conversations private with soft whispers.

Eren sat across from Violet, eyes on the door.

He knew she needed someone to watch the door, if it wasn’t herself.

Violet watched as he settled the skateboard to lean against the chair before his attention turned to her, arms resting on the table. His finger gave a few idle taps, no pattern that was familiar. His rings thumped low on the wood, his gaze leveling with her own. Emerald eyes, piercing despite the soft haze around the iris, ones that Violet knew well.

“Ask, Eren.”

Eren’s tapping paused. His lip twitched despite himself, but it wasn’t with humor. It was sheepish, twinged with apprehension. “Do you want to tell me how it went yesterday? Last night?” His voice was low, words meant just for their quiet bubble. His hand came up to sweep away the stray strands that spilled from his hairband, head tilting to the side.

Violet’s hand twitched, thumb twisting at the ring on her middle finger. She didn’t miss the way Eren’s eyes flickered to the motion.

“Stayed at Levi’s like always. It -” she cut herself off with a sharp inhale, a moment to reclaim the grip on her control. “Another nightmare. It was different, though. They always are. They’re always something twisted.”

She despised the twist in her voice, the taunt tone that pulled her throat against each word.

“But I didn’t hear mom. It was just me on that damned cot again,” she managed, swallowing the shards that settled in her chest.

Eren didn’t push, didn’t press. Violet wasn’t someone that could be pressed, not if she didn’t want to explain. That much was common knowledge.

Neither spoke when a tray was dropped between them by the same woman that had taken their order, her smile bright in comparison to the topic lingering in the air between the pair. Violet’s hand found the spoon, dragging it through the rich broth in her bowl.

Before she could pull a proper spoonful, the door to the cafe opened and the bell gave a faint chime. She didn’t turn to look, but noted the tension in Eren’s shoulders that eased, lip quaking into a weakened smile.

“Hey Armin, finally getting a breather today?”

Eren’s voice called over the bounds of their created bubble, leaving Violet to scrap herself together in a swift moment as the steps neared them.

“Hey guys, didn’t think I’d be seeing you here too. Just grabbing some lunch?”

Violet allowed herself to twist, just enough to find the familiar blonde, blue eyes flickering with the usual light that she almost envied. “Hey Armin, I’m surprised you’re taking a break,” Violet hummed, her lip finding the balance in the lazy smirk once more, tone a mild indifference. There was just enough inflection to find the line between detached and friendly, gray eyes studying his features.

“Could say the same for you. Reiner mentioned to Bertholdt that you were on the track earlier.”

Violet’s expression didn’t betray the way her heart flinched. It was harmless, the gentle taunt and pass of word of mouth. Still yet, her fingers drummed once on the table. “Yeah? Did he also mention I had to slow down for him to keep up,” she muttered, a light hearted jab. It was enough of one, however, that Eren did a double take, trying to find the meaning underlying the tone. One that wasn’t there to be found when she shifted gears just as quickly as their space had been invaded.

“Where’s Annie,” Violet questioned, a quick deflection as she pulled the spoon of brother and vegetables to her lips.

“She should be getting out of class soon,” Armin answered, taking a moment to check his phone. “A couple more minutes, most likely. Professor Zoe tends to get into Anatomy,” he said with a weak laugh.

“Sounds about right,” Violet mused with a faint snort, shifting to pull one leg in, tucking it under the other.

Eren caught the look that passed through her, one that she didn’t need to voice as he took over the conversation, steering it towards something idle. Weekend plans of this or that, whatever bullshit homework from Smith’s Comp class they had to focus on. It worked well, Armin now blurting out the topic of his essay while Eren listened, and Violet was left to settle in the quiet air around herself.

She never needed long to find her footing again, after all. Just enough to remember how to breathe without her lungs shuddering from the effort.

It wasn’t until she heard the vague call of a goodbye that she let herself rejoin the moment, her eyes snapping to Armin with ease, giving a tilted smirk. “Catch you later Armin,” she offered, her spoon tapping the side of the bowl once.

Watching as he headed off for the counter, her attention turned back to Eren. His gaze had settled back on Violet, hands holding half of his sandwich and his eyebrow twitching against the metal pierced through it.

“You good,” she asked, her own eyebrow cocked in question.

“Damn thing itches-”

“Use your hands, genius.”

“I’ve got this, I’m the expert,” Eren huffed, mock annoyance in his tone as Violet pitched a straw wrapper at him.

“Uh huh,” Violet muttered, eyes rolling as she settled back in her seat, soup half eaten, and mind already working too far ahead for her own good.

“Need to try to visit mom soon. Before our first game, at least,” she finally murmured, the weight of the comment enough to drown her.

Eren paused, slowly letting his sandwich settle back on the tray. A beat of silence as he studied her expression, weighed the tone of her statement, guessed what the right approach might be.

“Need company?”

“Levi always comes with me.”

“That’s not what I ask, Vio.”

His tone didn’t waver. Even with the way her own eyes turned sharp on his own, he didn’t falter from the question, letting it hand between them.

“... I’ll think about it.”

Violet wasn’t sure if she was lying or not, the need to suppress the grief was a fog weighing in her mind.

“That’s all I’ll ask from you,” he murmured, letting the topic drop.

Violet only nodded, shifting back in her seat, letting the silence wash over them once more.

The ache refused to settle, her heart yearning for a closure she’d never be granted.

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮, 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 “𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙊𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙎𝙞𝙙𝙚” 𝙗𝙮 𝙈𝙞𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙚𝙡 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙖𝙜𝙞

Chapter Text

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮, 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 “𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙄𝙩’𝙨 𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙚” 𝙗𝙮 𝙃𝙐𝙉𝙏𝙍/𝙓

Violet was all but sprinting for Levi’s office after her final class, mind already three steps ahead for practice. She skidded into his office, and was promptly met with a raised eyebrow.

“You’re plenty early, Violet. Don’t trip over yourself,” he commented, unfazed by her sudden intrusion before returning to the papers on his desk.

“I know, but I’ve been waiting all damn day,” she muttered, hand gripping the strap of her bag as she moved back towards the door, pausing mid step. “You’re still coming by?”

“Tch. As if you have to ask, brat,” he muttered, eyes flickering up just enough to catch her gaze. Her lip twitched, catching the faint warmth under that steeled gaze before he returned his gaze to the task at hand.

“Try not to have an aneurysm over papers today,” she jabbed before making her swift retreat down the hallway.

A wise decision in her self preservation.

Each step was charged, an energy that sent waves through her nerves, skin tingling with the hardly contained excitement. Volleyball was more than a sport for Violet. It was her freedom, just like Track. It was a way she had reclaimed her life, fighting against another odd the doctors had given her so young.

Volleyball became a part of her life. It became a part of her. It was her acceptance into Paradis State. It was the escape that kept her head above water on her worst days. A bonding force between herself and Connie and Mikasa and Eren. It had become her passion when she was still clawing her way back to a normal life.

Her steps were purposeful, carrying her to the gym with her smirk turned dangerously genuine, softer than the usual lazy taunt. She pushed open the door to the locker room, finding her team already milling about. Quiet greetings, smiles and high fives waited for her. Each was returned in kind, a piece of her mask crumbling.

“There she is,” Hitch called, grinning as she pulled on the compression top.

“Here I am,” Violet mused, dropping her bag near her locker as she pulled out her spandex and practice top.

Changing was easy, even with the scar on display. Her hand brushed the surface once after she was dressed, glancing down at it out of sheer habit.

In her uniform, in her comfort, it was nothing more than a mark of her survival. A reminder of the hell that tried to take her and she refused it. Her lip quirked, a low exhale escaping her as she closed her locker, bag tucked away.

Violet stepped to the mirror, hands moving to pull raven strands in a high ponytail, tied off with a scrunchie. The light from the locker room caught the curve of a scar along her temple, one that was typically well hidden when her hair rested down.

But she didn’t falter. She didn’t flinch away from the sight. She met her own silver gaze in the mirror, and returned the look with a smirk.

Hitch lingered nearby, watching with a soft reverend before Violet found her gaze.

“Waiting on you,” Hitch mused, a glint of sincerity in dusky jade eyes.

“Then get moving,” Violet snickered, falling in line behind Hitch.

Feeling the gym floor under foot, the electric shifted into calm comfort. A tension that wasn’t taunt, a tension that melted within coils of muscle. Moving into formation with her team, her eyes landed on coach Lynette who had a volleyball tucked under her arm. Violet’s expression settled, the smirk shifted into an almost eager grin. Her fingers flexed once before they moved into team stretches, a pattern familiar. Stretched into warm up conditioning, then running the fundamentals. Serving and returning, sets and spikes.

Routine.

They were running lines when the gym door opened, Levi slipping in without a word. Violet caught his gaze, just for a moment, before returning her focus. There was no hiding her smile, however, as the curl of pride eased into her chest.

Practice continued, from the conditioning exercises to fundamental practice. Violet moved with an effortless precision, body aligned with mind and muscles working without the need for thinking through her next move. Serves delivered with brutal efficiency. Sets made with fluid grace. Spikes aimed with precision.

As they neared the end of practice, they split into their respective groups for a team scrimmage. Violet ducked under the net in time to catch sight of the gym door pushing open, and a familiar buzzcut popped through the crack, hazel eyes finding her own.

“VIO-!” The hush stage whispered carried, her lip twitching up into a smirk, fighting the snicker. She gave a brief wave, coach Lynette casting a sideways glance but left it alone.

Connie slipped inside, followed by a small group of their friends.

Eren and Mikasa were close behind, trailed by Jean, Marco, Bertholdt and Reiner. Connie beelined for Levi who rolled his eyes, but didn’t protest as they settled just in front of him in the bleachers.

Violet’s lip gave way to a smile, not a smirk. It was gentle, a look that didn’t grace her features often. It faltered quickly, replaced with cold intent as she set up in her starting position, the whistle bringing her focus to the court and the task at hand.

Even in a scrimmage, Violet didn’t take it lightly. She played with a ferocity, someone who had everything to prove, even in the face of familiarity. Storm-trodden eyes sharpened, hands twitching with an eagerness to perform, muscles in her arms and legs taunt with preparation to move the moment the ball was in the air.

The squeak of shoes, the calls of the girls working as a team filled the otherwise empty space. Violet’s plays were ruthless, moving with an urgency in each play. She’d all but drowned the eyes in the bleachers, and hadn’t even noticed Sasha, Ymir, and Historia slipping in sometime in the middle of it all. The small group watched with quiet interest, and Connie was all but beaming in open pride.

Connie had watched her progress, from the days in the hospital to her first days on the court. Watching her now, moving with grace that would never tell the story of struggle and rods and plates, he couldn’t help the swelling in his chest. She earned every damn bit of recognition, how survival made her fearless and nothing short of determined when it came to what she wanted.

Levi was silent, observation flickering between Violet and the group that had settled nearby. Eventually, letting out a faint exhale through his nose, he returned to Violet, watching her deliver a particularly brutal spike that made his lip twitch.

By the end of the scrimmage, Violet was moving to team huddle with her hands on her hips. There was the lingering ache in her leg, but nothing more than she was used to. She shifted back and forth, from one leg to another as the coach reviewed, speaking briefly on needed improvements and a reminder for their first upcoming game. Each girl nodded along, and finally their hands piled in the center of their circle, giving the mumbled count to three before the “LADY TITANS” call.

Dismissal.

Violet turned to the group in the bleachers, her eyes finding Levi’s first. He gave a nod, the pride crossing his gaze. Connie leapt from the stands, Eren close behind as he made his way to Violet. An arm slung around her shoulders before he steered her back to the group.

“How the hell do you leap that high, short stack,” Connie taunted, a snicker under his breath as Violet made a playful shove against his side.

“I borrowed some of the hot air in your head,” she fired back with a faint snort.

Eren’s own snort broke through, his elbow giving her a nudge. “Swear, your serves get better. I don’t know how it's possible,” he mused.

Violet’s smirk twisted her lip as she looked at Levi once they were closer.

“You need a ride,” he asked, voice low and tone clear. She didn’t have to leave yet, she didn’t have to leave at all. But he was giving her the out if it was too much.

“Nah, I’m alright. I’m riding with Connie to the bubble tea shop,” she hummed.

“You’re coming?!” Historia’s squeal of excitement broke through as she all but bounced in place, eyes bright. “I promise it’s worth it!”

“I believe you, ‘Tori,” Violet murmured, a gentle edge taking on her tone.

“You really were incredible out there, Violet,” Marco piped, sitting up with a grin. “I can’t wait to see you in an actual game.” He glanced up at Jean, almost like he was searching for approval. Jean gave a low huff, but the inflection wasn’t something to be distinguished. It simply was. “Probably more intense, which is a scary thought,” he commented, words laced with a taunt despite the raised eyebrow that meant he wasn’t entirely kidding.

Violet let out a low, huffed laugh. Her head dipped down to shield the smile that threatened to break through. “I don’t change much for the games, you know. I practice how I play. Otherwise, what’s the point of practice,” she hummed.

“You earn your trophies at practice,” Levi started, a low murmur.

“I pick them up at competition,” Violet finished, the phrase a familiar one that allowed her to all but beam.

Levi gave a nod, standing and making his way down from the bleachers. Pausing at Violet’s side, he met her gaze for a moment. Finally, quietly, he spoke, slipping into her mother tongue of Japanese.

“Make sure you take something before it gets too late. Ice when you’re able.”

Violet gave a knowing nod. “I will. I’ll let you know when I get back to the apartment.”

Her words were gentle, laced with the subtle promise that earned her a nod before Levi retreated for the exit, leaving the group to themselves.

“Connie, I’m riding with you. Just let me get changed.”

“No rush, Vio. I’m not leaving you behind I promise,” Connie grinned, plopping himself back in the bottom line of bleachers, elbows resting on his knees. Violet gave a twitching smile before she broke away, jogging to the locker room.

All but missing the way Jean’s eyes followed not just her - but that mark that carved through her thigh.

Stepping back out into the gym, back in the comfort of sweatpants, she made her way to the group that lingered. Bertholdt and Reiner were gone, and Ymir and Historia were no longer in sight.

“So much for not being in a hurry,” she scoffed in mock annoyance, giving Sasha a high five as her hand was offered.

“They’re not going in without us, Historia just wants to grab the good tables,” Eren said with a soft snicker. “You mean Ymir just wants an excuse for 15 extra minutes with her,” Connie interjected, earning a soft snort from Jean.

“Sounds right,” Violet murmured as the group began to move for the chilled evening air.

She didn’t hide the faint limp in her steps, the ache dulled but still there. Eren had shifted to her side, silent as he watched for the need to step in, while Mikasa trailed just a step behind her. Both were watching with the silent intensity of someone that knew too well what could happen if her leg decided to simply give out.

It hadn’t happened in years, but Violet knew there was no such thing as too cautious.

“Violet, mind if I ask something?” Jean’s voice broke the comfort of the rambles around her, of Connie making an unnecessary jab at Marley-Mid State and Sasha cackling like it was the joke of the year.

Violet’s eyes turned up from the path ahead, finding honey-gold hues that turned to her own stone gaze.

“Shoot.”

“Where’d you get your scars?”

Violet had to fight the involuntary hitch in her throat. She didn’t allow herself to stutter, she didn’t allow the glass to settle in her throat, and she didn’t let herself stop moving. She held his gaze, no matter how much it threatened to betray her.

She blinked. She felt the way Eren shifted, walking just a half a step closer, Mikasa’s hand brushed the back of her arm, a motion that could be written off as accidental if she didn’t know her cousin any better.

Then finally, she shrugged.

“Accident when I was a kid. Don’t remember too much about it. Had some memory issues in the aftermath.”

Screams. Blood. Too many gunshots. And the damn sirens.

Her tone was unwavering, the lie concealed with the practiced ease of someone who had to explain that far too many times.

Jean watched her, searching for something behind her gaze, the way her eyes shifted to something sharper and tone dancing a line between indifference and warning. Either he decided he hadn’t found anything worth pressing - or the look from Eren, combined with the way Connie had become invested in the current conversation was enough to deter him. He gave a slow nod, not of understanding, but of acknowledgement.

He at least had the decency to look sheepish, eyes turning to the sidewalk in front of them, giving it a singular kick with the toe of his sneaker before he continued walking. “Shit, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to pry or anything. Just-”

“They were on display. I get it. Someone doesn’t just walk around with scars like this.”

Her words cut before he could finish speaking. There was an edge that tied her tone, an irritation hidden by the calm of practiced stoicism. It was easy to brush it aside, to play off the usual indifference as they pressed on to the student parking.

Her hands found the pocket of her sweatpants, a subconscious action to hide the way her fingers desperately wanted to twitch against her thigh, to press over the ache and settle it in its tracks. How the call to the mark seemed to make the ache worse, as though acknowledging (or lying) about the scar lit it on fire once more.

Marco’s eyes flickered from Jean to Violet, watching as Jean’s face flickered with a hint of regret, struggling to find the words needed to settle the tension that was now lingering in the air.

“Makes you look even more like a badass on the court,” Marco commented after a few moments, lip curling up and sincerity on each word.

“Damn right it does. Make them think twice before returning your serve,” Jean added, silent gratitude passing through the look he threw Marco’s way.

Violet’s lip twitched. The tension slipped for the moment, the lazy confidence returning to her schooled expression as the moment passed. Smooth diversion, twisted with the easy lie that made life bearable.

Just like that, the pieces of herself felt less like pieces and more like parts that belonged to the amalgamation that she was. 

𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙮, 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 “𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙝” 𝙗𝙮 𝘿𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙚𝙧