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Chapter Text

“Dr. Mensah, how much do you want for your SecUnit? I assure you, money is no object. Set your price.”

The man was panting, clearly very nervous. As proof, he pulled out a hard currency card, another, and another, and flung them on the table. But Mensah needed a minute to gather her thoughts. This was not what she was expecting when told someone had come in to negotiate an urgent business deal.

The man, Harmon Sen, was from a mining planet in the Corporation Rim. He had been seeking to meet with her through all means possible, or so he said. He had been insistent, and she had finally agreed. But from the moment he entered her office, she felt a sense of wrongness she could not shake off. And then, this.

“Pardon? I am not selling SecUnit!”

She moved back and planted herself firmly behind the desk.

“We can skip these games. I am willing to give you however much money you want for your SecUnit. Enough to buy another one, if you require security. A better, newer model. Please, anything you want.”

She pinged SecUnit immediately. This was a situation she did not want to develop further without its knowledge.

“We do not sell people on Preservation,” she said. “SecUnit is my friend, and it is insulting that you think I would sell it.”

Sen did not expect that. For a moment, he huffed in surprise and then frowned.

“Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. I don’t care. We can keep it a secret or I can pay you privately. But the SecUnit will be coming with me.”

“Why are you so insistent?”

“It deserves better,” said Sen. “Again, I repeat that money is no problem. Name your price.”

She sent an image of the man over the feed. SecUnit’s ETA was less than four minutes, and it replied: “I don’t know him.”

“We do not sell people. I must request you leave, I have been insulted enough today.”

Anger gave her a better shield than the feeling of dread bubbling up. Who was he working with or for? She tented her fingers and turned away slightly to show the meeting was over. He did not take the out.

“Three minutes,” said SecUnit in the feed.

“Insulted? You bought it, didn’t you? Off the company, to be your own security. Don’t act like you’re above it all.”

“He seems familiar,” added SecUnit, with great reluctance.

She reached for a glass of water to cool off. Sen was pulling out more hard currency cards, still assuming her objection was related to the price.

“I did buy it, as there is ever only one way to interact with the company. It doesn’t mean it is for sale or will ever be,” she said. “I would like to understand why you want to purchase it. What do you intend to do with it? Though, again, allow me to make it absolutely clear that this is not a transaction that is ever going to happen.”

Sen fixed his eyes on her, splotchy red all over his face.

“I’ll tell you something then. It will change your mind.”

He lowered his voice.

“It’s a rogue SecUnit! It’s a danger to you. If you accept my offer, I will take it off your hands. No risk!”

Sen was approaching this like a business negotiation, which felt abhorrent, but this bit… It wasn’t a secret in many parts of Preservation, SecUnit being free. But elsewhere, it wasn’t exactly supposed to be public knowledge.

“How do you know that?”

“Wait, you know that? How are you keeping it under control?”

“SecUnit is free,” she said.

“You’re lying,” said the man. “You don’t need to. I don’t care for your little facade.”

“What do you want with SecUnit?”

If there was a new source of danger, maybe they could find out something useful before it escalated. She drank her water and looked at him. She had to show she was not intimidated.

“I want to set it free.”

The man pulled out a weapon, and Mensah staggered backwards in her chair, water over the desk. In the feed, SecUnit said: “One minute away. Stay calm.”

“Please put the weapon down.”

“You’re lying. I don’t know why, but you have to be. Hand it over, and everything will be okay.”

“It’s not a thing I can hand over. It’s not my possession. But we can talk about this, there’s no need for violence,” she said, in what she hoped was a calming tone of voice. Her hand gripped the glass. This was no company agent. The intensity on his face was striking. She took a deep breath. Only a minute, less than a minute.

“It deserves to die free,” said Sen.

That’s when SecUnit burst into the room, and before Mensah had a chance to think about what was said, Harmon Sen was not waving the weapon around anymore. It had disarmed him by pulling the weapon towards itself and forcing the man to the ground. She had missed most of it by blinking.

“It is you,” breathed out Sen, in its grip, awed. “I kept looking, and then I saw you in the news. It is you.”

“I don’t remember you,” said SecUnit.

“I thought you might not. They wipe your memory every so often, don’t they?” Sen’s tone of voice went low, soothing, gentle.

“Who are you? Why do you think you know me?”

“I do! I do. We met a long time ago, I was one of your clients on JettyBlack. You saved us, that time. You saved me. And we talked. Oh, I have not been able to forget about that talk.”

SecUnit’s body language was stiffer than usual. It seemed uncertain. Dr Mensah approached to place herself at SecUnit’s back, so it would know she was there, backing it up.

“You were SecUnit’s client?” she asked, but Sem kept looking at it.

“Four years ago, JettyBlack. It was hopeless, and you saved me. You and me, we were stuck in a mine elevator shaft, for a good long while. I had a broken leg, and you helped me survive.”

He squirmed, but SecUnit did not loosen its grip.

“I came to find you, like you wanted. To help.”

“If you came to help, why were you pointing a weapon at Dr Mensah?” said SecUnit. Its voice was steady, as usual, but Mensah knew it well enough to feel the undercurrent of dread.

“She bought you, didn’t she? She is as much a part of it as the company.”

“Don’t. Don’t say that.”

“You’re confused, SecUnit,” he said. “I know, it’s ok, it’s ok. I’ll help you. I’m your friend.”

“Dr Mensah is my friend. And you pointed a weapon at her. I do not require your assistance.”

Sen gave Mensah a furious look.

“You should have just taken the money. It would have been easier. Now, I’m going to have to take more extreme measures.”

“Do not threaten Dr Mensah. Station Security is on its way.”

“This isn’t what you want, SecUnit. Listen to me.”

“I don’t want to,” it said.

“They got you good. I’ll still help, like I promised.”

He didn’t say anything else until Station Security came to remove Sen from the office and take him into holding. He had gone quiet but kept staring at SecUnit in an intense way that Mensah found disturbing.

Then, he was gone. Mensah sank into the couch, ignoring her shaking hands, and invited SecUnit to sit as well. But it didn’t.

“Are you alright?”

“I don’t know. I need to think.”

“Of course, this had to be very disquieting.”

“I think he did know me. Before. And I don’t remember.”

Mensah could ask it many things. More than anything, she wanted to ask again if it was okay, what it needed. However, she had learned not to push it too hard, especially with something like this. It barely spoke about its life before, but that hardly meant it didn’t think about it.

And Sen himself had given her such a strange impression, someone despairing, obsessed, teetering at an edge she had seen before (oh, Gura, but that had been so long ago). Had he meant to save SecUnit from her ownership? Even if he had good intentions, it didn’t feel like he could be trusted.

“I need to…”

“I’ll be here.”

As it walked out, she reached out to Station Security. It was certain SecUnit would want to talk to Harmon Sen. Then, she settled into her couch and tried to remind herself everything was okay.

Chapter Text

I had no memories of Harmon Sen, just a nagging, itchy sense of recognition. He existed there in its past, somewhere between memory wipes. I didn’t enjoy the not knowing. But those memories were gone forever, so the feeling was stuck. Forever. I would never know for real what had happened.

I walked around the Station, ignoring the pings, the messages, and the concerned updates from Security. Several people I knew who worked there had sent some variation on “are you okay? this guy is creepy”, and I left them all unanswered for now.

Pull yourself together, Murderbot. The guy had threatened Dr Mensah over you. He had seemed to fancy himself some kind of heroic figure come to rescue you from your humans.

And he had threatened to take more extreme measures.

There was a threat to neutralize.

I’d pinged all my humans already (which led to another outpouring of concern, and I did send them all “I’m ok” sigils, but Gurathin and Arada sent follow-up messages; Ratthi hadn’t answered his ping, but my drone showed him taking a nap in his bedroom, so it was OK for now) and set out drones to follow each of them, as well as one to Station Security, which currently was fixed on Sen sitting in the holding cell. He had a blank stare.

Ignoring previous promises, I hacked into security to trace Sen’s route throughout Preservation.

He had arrived four days ago. Since then, he had pestered each and every person he could think of to try and arrange a meeting with Dr Mensah, which had been granted by a clerk whom he had given the impression it was a life or death matter business meeting that could make or break some aspect of the economy.

Beyond that, Sen had sat in his hotel room, had drunk intoxicants at high volumes three out of four nights, and had had food brought to him. He didn’t even watch media. He had not talked to anyone on Preservation outside of the officials and the people working at the hotel, so whatever he’d arranged, it happened prior to his arrival.

His demeanor was concerning.

Sen’s feed history had been cleared, most of it purged beyond recovery. That was advanced, hard to achieve; he must have paid someone to scrub that clean. ART could have maybe reversed it, but not me.

I tracked the ship Sen had arrived in and bribed it with some quality episodes. In its outgoing data, there was a message to an anonymous feed, which featured a list of names and directions. My humans. That made threat assessment shoot up.

I had been walking through the Station, away from Mensah’s office but not really going anywhere. After reviewing the footage, I decided that had been enough checking the perimeter time, not because I had made my peace with the everything going on and the associated emotions I insisted on having, but because I had to make sure he didn’t hurt anyone, whether he thought he was helping me or not.

Shit, I shouldn’t have left in the first place. I got back and immediately swept Mensah’s office. Then the floor and the building, even the bathrooms, which I would normally avoid. No explosive devices anywhere, no listening devices either. No weapons or hidden spies.
Threat assessment was high

I stationed extra drones at the Mensah family farm and did a headcount. All her children, Tano and Farai, and even Thiago were accounted for and perfectly serene in their daily routine. Sen hadn’t been anywhere near the farm, and (I checked) neither had anyone else outside of Gurathin and their usual supplier. But the idea of Gurathin being a threat to Mensah was negligible. I checked the supplier, and they were a 75-year-old human who had never been off Preservation.

I was postponing what I knew I was going to have to do.

I went to Station Security and asked to talk to Harmon Sen. Whether I got permission or not, I knew I had to talk to him, but permission was granted right away. Officer Tiffany looked at me with concern and used a soothing tone of voice, which I didn’t appreciate but couldn’t hold against her either. At least, they weren’t blaming me for Sen’s actions.

Before going in, I replied to all the messages from Station Sec personnel with an acknowledgement and a positive sigil.

Tiffany said I could have all the time I needed and that she would be right outside.

I lagged for a few moments and then went in.

I didn’t enter the cell and didn’t greet Sen. He, however, greeted me enthusiastically.

“And even StationSec roped you into doing their dirty work, huh? Heard you were solving murders for them,” he said with sympathy, which made my skin crawl.

“You said you were going to take more extreme measures if Dr Mensah did not do what you asked. What measures are those?”

“Don’t you worry about it. I will set you free one way or another.”

“What makes you think I want to be set free? I am already free.”

I was. I knew I was. I could leave whenever I wanted. I had left whenever I wanted and was more often on ART than on Preservation. But I still wanted to sometimes exist near my PresAux humans, so while ART was at its university, I had come here to see some plays and watch serials in Dr Mensah’s office. I had media and things I owned, and I had ART as my mutual administrative assistant. I also had hard credit cards and fake IDs my Preservation humans had gifted me. And I was rogue. So. All in all, I had everything I felt I needed to be free.

“So you think. Don’t you see? Your Preservation owner is even renting you out to that Mihira and New Tideland University. You are risking yourself for them, breaking yourself for them. You never wanted this, SecUnit. You wanted freedom,” said Sen. “And I will grant you that, I swear.”

This was difficult. It was like he was looking at my life and seeing it through a dirty filter. I wished he would stop talking. But this was the opposite of what I was here to do.

“I only do work I choose to do. I choose who I associate with,” I said. I wondered if someone better at talking could help me get through to him.

“And yet you are still doing what you were built for. This is a much sneakier trap, I know. But when we were together on JettyBlack, you said it. You wanted to be free, or you didn’t want anything at all.”

Why the fuck had past me told this creepy human anything? I decided to ask that. His eyes softened.

“We were stuck in that shaft for days. I was dying. And you helped me. You talked to me because you thought we were stuck there forever, I think. You were so brave.”

Nice work, past me. I supposed I couldn’t be too hard on myself. Maybe I hadn’t understood humans as well back then.

“And what did I say?” I demanded.

“That it was not worth it, living like you were. You just wished for a kinder death than slowly running out of power. I got it, hell, I was also not thrilled that I was starving. But then, the other SecUnits pulled us out. I was delirious, sick. Otherwise, I would have set you free then and there. But when I was up, you had been reassigned. And I couldn’t find you. Until now.”

Sen grinned.

“It was a good thing, honestly. For one, I met you, and I understood so much. And because of the equipment failure and the whole being trapped thing, I got a nice fat payout, which got me all the way here, and with plenty to spare. I decided I would put some of that money towards freeing you.”

Was he being heroic? Was I not understanding something? Did he truly believe Mensah to be an evil SecUnit owner whom I had to be saved from? But no matter how hard I tried to tell him, it seemed to slide right off.

“I don’t want any of my clients harmed,” I said.

“Oh, nobody needs to be harmed. They just need to comply and cut you loose.”

“You are not understanding me. I like these humans!”

I did, even Gurathin. At least, I didn’t want him harmed in my name, much less any of the others. But I was doubting more and more that Sen would actually listen.

“Maybe you do. Maybe they don’t beat you or call you names, so you assume they are good. But they exploit you.”

My organics were heating up in a rage.

“I am not going to hurt anyone if it’s unneeded, no family members. I’m not evil. But I promise, we’ll solve this soon enough, and you will see the truth. This place is wearing a nice mask but it’s not letting go of your leash. And, I promise, I won’t hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it. Just wait for a couple more hours, okay?”

“If any of them are hurt,” I said, “I will end you. Whatever you think you are to me.”

Then I walked out, sending messages to all the PresAux people to get to Mensah’s office, where I could make sure they stayed in one piece. Tiffany assured me that Sen was going to be charged with attempted murder, so they had enough to hold him here as his case moved to trial.

But I had the bad feeling he had been ready for this arrest.

Chapter Text

Arada and Pin-Lee got moving right away. Bharadwaj was coming in on the next shuttle. My drone had to physically nudge Ratthi awake, but he was on his way as well. Gurathin had acknowledged the message, but the drone I kept outside of his apartment still hadn’t seen him leave.

I was sitting in Dr Mensah’s office and running three soothing Sanctuary Moon episodes at the same time, which didn’t seem to work. Dr Mensah was there, respecting my wishes not to discuss my feelings, though I could see she really, really wanted to talk about this.

I wasn’t budging. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to think about this. But it was all I could think about.

Digging into my organics, there was a cold, unwelcoming memory of an elevator shaft in a mine, but it felt like a still image, that, and a sensation that made my receptors twinge in unremembered pain. I couldn’t remember speaking to Sen, much less being so ridiculously, so dangerously open with him.

I couldn’t disbelieve him either.

I would have preferred death to be re-governed and forced into what life had been before. But had I asked him to carry out, like some kind of living will? Or had he imagined it, assumed it, become so painfully attached to the construct over the days we had maybe spent dying together?

Dr Mensah cleared her throat.

Not budging.

“Is everyone okay?” she said.

I sent her status updates and saw Gurathin still hadn’t left his apartment. I tended to give him more space because Dr Mensah had explained that he, more than any of the other PresAux humans, had lived under surveillance before in a way that could make it harmful for me to disregard his wishes and boundaries. So the drone didn’t go inside unless there was something dangerous. Like now.

I pinged him and received another acknowledgement. I sent a nonsense message to his feed and received the same acknowledgement. Something was wrong.

The drone explored the apartment. There was Gurathin, sitting in his kitchen, and there was Hostile 2 who had a weapon and was also sitting in his kitchen. Before he could spot my drone, I brought it down to the floor.

Oh, great.

Mensah got up in alarm and shared the message she had just received on her feed. It had not come from Sen, who was on his cell, but presumably it could have come from Hostile 2. Or maybe even a Hostile 3. In the message, she was told to await instructions or else.

Yeah, I knew.

I asked Station Security to give Hostile 1 limited feed access because I had to let him know right away how badly he had fucked up. They complied, and I made sure he could only talk to me and do nothing else on my feed.

“Tell your hired goon to leave my human alone,” I said over the feed. “If he gets hurt, I will. End. You.”

Over the feed, Hostile 1 was as infuriating as in person.

“He is a corporate spy. Surely you knew that, SecUnit? No way our dear Dr Mensah doesn’t know that.”

I did not know that. I paused to ask her.

“He was! That’s how I met him. It was a past he has left behind, and it’s not really something I can discuss without his consent. Is he in danger because of that?” she said. I said no, that he was going to be ok, which was not entirely guaranteed at this point. But I had to say something.

That was information I had to think about. What I had to determine now was whether it mattered. If it changed something, if it changed what I was going to do. I hadn’t liked finding this out, especially not from freaking Hostile 1.

I was going to have to (ugh) talk to Gurathin about this and maybe get angry, depending on how that went. But to achieve that I had to make sure there was someone there to talk to. So, I backburnered that information for later.

Besides, Mensah’s vitals were all over the place. I wasn’t going to abandon the situation no matter what.

I decided it didn’t matter.

Her face was calm. “What do you want me to do?”

I asked her to wait. And she waited, though she really wanted to do something. We’d need to alert StationSecurity, but I was sure it was going to be a part of the instructions that we didn’t.

Another message came in. It demanded an exchange. And, also no involvement from StationSecurity. Hostile 1, however, was not demanding his own release.

I was to board a shuttle in the next hour. Dr Mensah was to give me orders to do so. Or else.

“You got the message, did you? Untraceable, I made sure of that. And now, you will see. She will favor the human over you, SecUnit. She will throw you away,” said Hostile 1 over our feed, tired of waiting. “And over a corporate spy. You will never be treated like a human. Do you see now?”

I was still weirded out by that corporate spy reveal, but I didn’t like how Hostile 1 was pushing me to see that fact. I knew Dr Mensah. I knew that I knew Dr Mensah. I shut the feed channel to Hostile 1, and said:

“I can get in the shuttle, but I am not so sure that will guarantee Gurathin’s safety.”

Even if Hostile 1 had given other instructions, whatever mercenary he had hired would also be looking out for themselves. And leaving a witness who had seen your face was generally considered bad practice among the kinds of people who got jobs holding people hostage.

My other humans were arriving, at least, and all accounted for. Hostile 1 must have thought Gurathin was the one who “deserved” it. My drone had skittered across the floor to the kitchen, silently, and was currently hiding near the door frame, invisible when out of the air.

Gurathin looked physically fine but extremely stressed. There was no blood anywhere. The mercenary looked like an ordinary, bored human. They were drinking water out of a mug labeled “BEST SYSTEMS ANALYST IN THE GALAXY”. Despite this distraction, they did know what they were doing. There was a table of distance between them, the weapon remained pointed in Gurathin’s direction, and his hands were bound.

If Gurathin had been a spy, he really ought to have better security skills, but this confirmed that humans were bad at security in general.

“One hour to go,” said the mercenary. “Relax, it’s almost over.”

That did not sound calming, and Gurathin glared in response. I couldn’t just get on the shuttle and let it play out. If Three were here, this would be easier. I would even take Tarik.

“Go on, SecUnit, you need to leave,” said Hostile 1 in the feed.

“Please, I’ll get you another feed connection, just tell your mercenary to leave Gurathin alone, and I will go where you tell me to go.”

“Sorry, no can do. You need to be in space before I let go of the leash. Just let Dr Mensah order you into the shuttle. And remind her not to alert Station Security. I have a third pair of eyes watching to ensure things go according to plan. I can’t reach my employees, but they have their instructions. Also, please send me the footage for when you get on the move, send it to me and upload it here. We’ll be watching.”

Hostile 1 sent me a feed channel ID. He might have had another accomplice; it might be a bluff. He was counting on Dr Mensah to place Gurathin’s life over possession of me and not take any chances. I wouldn’t be taking any chances either. I, however, had to find a way to be in two places at once. Or maybe not.

“You are not getting on that shuttle,” said Dr Mensah. “I really, really don’t like how that man talks about freeing you. We can find another way.”

I also didn’t like that part. I didn’t like any part of the situation that was going on.

I let my humans know Gurathin was fine, so far. He was fiddling with his wrists under the table, and I wished I could tell him not to do that because I wasn’t sure how committed the mercenary was to waiting it out until the hour ended and keeping him alive until then, but all my messages, even the encrypted ones, got the same acknowledgement ping.

I was not getting on the shuttle. Gurathin wasn’t getting shot. And Hostile 1 was not getting what he wanted, whatever his good intentions, though I could not believe that was true. His good intentions were warped beyond my understanding.

But Hostile 1 was underestimating me.

I pinged Indah on an encrypted channel we’d set a while back to explain what was going on and what I needed.

I pinged the Station bots network.

I scanned the shuttle.

Fuck this. I wasn’t playing the role Hostile 1 wanted me to play. I could play something better.

Chapter Text

Locating the other pair of eyes wasn’t that hard. Hostile 1 had erased his communications, but that guy’s feed was still active. Once he accessed the feed channel to download the footage they had requested, I could track him. I bet he wouldn’t be Preservation, and he wasn’t, another visitor who had arrived in the past few days. Station Security picked him up quickly (they listened to me so easily nowadays), but were keeping him away from Hostile 1’s holding cell.

But I sent the video to Hostile 1 too, though I was very sure he wasa telling the truth when he said he had no communication with his mercenaries.

“Good. Good. Don’t worry, it will be over soon.”

How was it even worse when this guy said it?

“Why didn’t you ask Mensah to release you?”

“No need, I’ll buy my way out of this shitty planet in days. I had to be sure you were out, first,” said Hostile 1. “I remember how miserable you were, SecUnit. This is a mercy.”

“Yeah, sure,” I said. I was walking towards Gurathin’s apartment because I had a client safety record to maintain.

The bots on the station, meanwhile, had arranged a “routine maintenance” right outside of the shuttle. It had a simple bot pilot, and a switch meant to trigger it for departure. Also, it had a bomb inside that was going to explode in the atmosphere.

Fucking Hostile 1. How could he be kidding himself that he was saving me from a terrible existence? He didn’t know what my fucking life was like. Not what it was like, now, at least..

Life had been terrible. It had been awful. I had thought about many things while still with the company, and the thought to just let go of it had been there, undeniably.

But I didn’t want that anymore. Hell, even if I was regoverned and trapped, I didn’t want that to be my first choice anymore. ART would come for me, ART would be trying to find me. Mensah and my humans would be trying to find me. They would try to set me free, and they always listened to what I wanted. Unlike this fucking guy.

I was so, so, so angry.

I couldn’t remember how miserable I had been in the fucking shaft of JettyBlack, but even if I had been absolutely miserable, that didn’t give some human the right to decide if I lived or died. Or put my humans in danger.

I didn’t always hate living, these days. Who knew.

Getting into Gurathin’s apartment was so easy. I had to add to the safety talk I was going to give him (and now that I knew he’d been some kind of spy, I could get really mean about it: he should so know better). I pulled myself up, following the drone. Silently, I concealed myself behind the wall of the kitchen and kept watch with my drone.

The mercenary had kept the weapon mostly trailed on Gurathin, but there were moments it moved a little out of range, because the guy was still human and prone to involuntary and voluntary motions, like adjusting in his seat. The next time it was aimed slightly to the left of his head, I moved.

I won, of course. And tried not to make too much of a mess in Gurathin’s kitchen. I didn’t blow off the guy’s head, but there might have been a few teeth to clean from under the oven. I left him for the Station Security people.

Gurathin was immediately much less stressed when he saw me, and he was still uninjured. My drone flitted about to ensure nothing was wrong.

“Are you okay?” I said.

“Yes, but I’m not sure what that was about. He refused to tell me.”

“Doesn’t matter,” I said. I didn’t want to tell him it’d been about me. “I have to update your security protocols. Your apartment is pathetically easy to get into.”

“Why? You expect this to happen again?”

“No. Call Mensah now, they’re all very worried. Better yet, go see them. They’re all in the office and can provide emotional comfort,” I said. Then, because I was a very competent SecUnit. “Do you require emotional reassurance now? You are safe now. But you could hug me if you really needed to.”

“Thank you, I’ll be fine.”

I wondered if I should ask about the spy thing, because that felt like it could lead to security threats in the future, but he looked slightly shaken even if he had said he was fine. Besides, I wasn’t done yet.

I walked him out, and some StationSec people went in to pick up the mercenary. I asked Farid to help Gurathin get to Mensah’s office. He clearly had more questions but backed off for now, mainly because I left as soon as I was sure he was accompanied.

I moved to the docks, which had been cleared of people, and saw the bot pilot had allowed itself to be slowed down due to the maintenance. However, I asked the other bots to wait for me before intervening more directly. I hacked into the bot pilot and offered it some media; we discussed how very interesting it was that I was allowed access to all of its systems, and wasn’t it nice how I could get rid of that little explosive device for it?

Hostile 1 had underestimated me.

Chapter Text

I walked into Station Security, and the smug look faded right off his face. He looked upset.

“So you are still here,” he said. “It would have been better if you had gone.”

“You were going to kill me.”

“You wanted me to! Before, when you were still yourself! You wanted to be free.”

“Maybe. But now I am free, and I like my humans. They like me, too,” I said, but I wasn’t trying to convince him anymore. I just wanted to say it, with conviction. “Oh, and Preservation is really not the kind of place you can buy your way out of the system,” I said. It was probably a place where he would receive a lot of help, which didn’t thrill me in this particular case. But I liked it in general.

He shook his head.

“You don’t get to escape that desire, SecUnit. You don’t get to be free, because that’s not how this world works. I was just trying to help you because I understand that.”

“You were not helping me.”

I would never know if I had truly asked Hostile 1 to kill me or something like that. There was no way to know, only his flawed, distorted recollection. I had no idea what had happened in that elevator shaft down a mine, except that it must have been deeply traumatic. I couldn’t know, but I didn’t want that time and place to spoil everything that was now.

*

I returned to Dr Mensah’s office, and my humans were there. I could tell they were all, even Gurathin, really eager to try and talk to me about what had just happened. And I would have to eventually, because Bharadwaj was trying really hard to get me to talk about things and, when I did, it tended to help. But I didn’t want to talk about it right then, and I said so.

Arada suggested we could wind down together before going back home and watch some media, and that was a good idea. Ratthi went to fetch food for everyone, and my humans settled around the office, which did have a display surface that might or might not have been installed for my benefit. Gurathin was sitting between Mensah and Bharadwaj on the couch, with Arada and Pin-Lee throwing some pillows on the floor. I got the chair I liked and a blanket. Mensah sent me a message, inviting me to lunch tomorrow, so we were going to talk then. Fair enough. She seemed shaken too. But maybe there would be another emergency, so I could postpone the talk a bit more.

Was I deluding myself into thinking of my humans as my humans? Was I feeling happier in life because I was denying the reality of being a SecUnit in a world not built for me? Maybe even ART and its crew were only using me for my skills?

But I was so warm and cozy, and everyone was safe. So I couldn’t make myself believe it. And I didn’t want to think about that anymore.

So we watched media together.