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Taking care of other people was in Chases nature. Ever since he was little, he has been taking care of the people around him. He took care of his sister when she would fall and hurt herself. He helped his friends when they didn’t feel well. He took care of his mom when she was too drunk to even remember where she was.
After all why wouldn’t he? His mom took care of him for years. When she started drinking more, and started having trouble keeping up with day to day tasks, Chase would pitch in. Just the little things at first, but over time, he began to feel like he was the only one keeping their family together. He didn’t resent her for it. His mom thought him responsibility. It was always easier to take care of other people though. Nowadays, living alone, taking care of himself was something he hadn’t quite mastered yet.
He had woken up late that morning. With a pounding headache “Great...”, he thought to himself as he looked at his alarm clock. He’d need to leave somewhere in the next fifteen minutes if he wanted to make it to work on time.
Did he sleep through his alarm again or had he simply forgotten to set it? No sense in dwelling on it now, he needed to get out of bed and get moving.
Even though he was already running late, he decided to take a quick shower. The relentless heat that had been festering in the New Jersey skies had him waking up covered in sweat every morning for the past week.
It’s not like he wasn’t used to a bit of warm weather. Growing up in Australia, he was no stranger to temperatures high enough to fry an egg on the asphalt. New Jersey summers were something else entirely though. It wasn’t nearly as hot most of the time, but somehow it felt worse, suffocating.
He jumped in the shower and turned the water on. He didn’t even bother waiting for it to get warm. He found that more often than not, he preferred cold showers in the morning over hot ones. The cold helped him wake up, while warm water just made him more tired.
With not much time left before he absolutely had to leave, he grabbed the shower head from the wall and rinsed his entire body to get rid of the sweat clinging to his skin. He turned the water off just as it started to warm up a bit, before getting out of the shower and grabbing the first (and last) clean towel he could find.
He really needed to do the laundry. Dirty clothes and towels piled out of the hamper and onto the floor. The bathroom wasn’t the only space in the house that needed tidying up. The kitchen was a mess, dirty dishes filled the sink. The living room that once used to look like a furniture store showroom, now looked like it hadn’t seen a vacuum in months.
It was fine though. Chase lived alone so no one else was inconvenienced by the mess. Besides, it felt like he was barely home himself lately. And when he was, he certainly didn’t have the energy to deal with the mess.
At work, cases kept piling up. Something about the department not making enough money for the hospital. He wasn’t really listening when Cuddy tore House a new one after she found out the man hadn’t taken on any new cases all week, just because Wilson bet him he wouldn’t be able to sit around doing nothing, and still get paid. Needless to say, House lost the bet.
Chase couldn’t deny that a week without having to deal with patients felt like a godsend. It gave him the opportunity to catch up on some long forgotten paperwork and crosswords, while also giving him time to get his life outside of work back on track.
To the outside world, he may seem like a person who values organization and routine, which isn’t entirely untrue. He does find that his mind isn’t as chaotic when his surroundings are calm, but actually keeping up with tasks around the house is something he has struggled with ever since he moved out of his parents House. It’s just harder to find the motivation when there is no one else relying on him.
He got dressed in record time. He brushed his teeth and dried his hair so it wasn’t dripping anymore. Looking in the mirror he noticed how pale his face was, and how the circles under his eyes seemed to have gotten even darker overnight.
He did feel pretty tired, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. Sleepless nights were part of the job.
He made his way to the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was empty except for a few slices of cold pizza and a single lemon. He decided to make himself a cup of coffee and grab breakfast at the hospital. If he could find the time at least.
-
He arrived at the hospital twenty minutes after his shift started.
He stopped to get another cup of coffee before heading to the office. His headache hadn’t gone away and he felt overall out of it. He needed something to make him feel better and caffeine usually did the trick.
When he reached the office, the others, including House, were already there.
“Morning.” He greeted, before taking a seat in his usual spot and taking a sip of his drink.
House eyed him for a moment but ultimately decided not to say anything about his employee’s late arrival.
“I was just about to tell the others about our new patient.” He grabbed a maker from where it lay near the white board.
“Twenty-four year old woman was brought in by paramedics after collapsing in the street. Upon examination she mentioned feeling ‘off’ for the last month or so. Apparently she thought it was a good idea to, and I quote: “Wait and see.” That obviously didn’t work out so well for her.” He uncapped the marker he was holding in his hand and started writing on the board.
“Labs show a hemoglobin of 5.2 mmol/L and a hematocrit of 31%. Ferritin was normal, haptoglobin low, bilirubin high and reticulocytes increased. Go.”
Cameron was the first to chime in.
“We’re obviously dealing with some kind of anemia. She’s not iron deficient and the increased reticulocytes tell us that her body is capable of producing new red blood cells. However, a decrease in haptoglobin combined with high bilirubin is suggestive of an anemia that is hemolytic in nature.”
“Interesting.” House added ‘hemolytic anemia’ to the board in big black letters. “Her body is prematurely destroying her red blood cells, but why?”
“Probably some type of hemoglobinopathy, maybe sickle cell?” Chase suggested.
“She’s not black.” Foreman added. The others looked at him in confusion.
“What I’m trying to say is that sickle cell isn’t very common in white people. Thalassemia is much more likely in her case.” He explained.
“Nice try, but the blood smear only showed spherocytes. No sickle, no thalassemia. Next!”
“What if the red blood cells aren’t the problem here?” Chase insinuated.
“Go on…”
“Maybe her immune system thinks they don’t belong there and attacks them. Autoimmune hemolytic anemia.”
House nodded in agreement. “AIHA, I like it. Go run a direct antiglobulin test to see if there are any stubborn antibodies sticking to the surface of her RBC’s.” He added AIHA to the board and drew a circle around it.
“Oh and Chase— nice work.”
Foreman and Cameron left the office to go draw some more blood from the patient, while Chase lingered for a moment longer so he could finish his coffee before going down to the lab.
A wave of dizziness washed over him as he got up from his chair. He braced himself against the table and waited for it to pass.
“Are we just diagnosing the patient or should we run a CBC on you as well.” House said jokingly.
Chase took a deep breath and let go of the table.
“I’m fine. Just got up too fast.”
House shrugged. “If you say so. Just don’t faceplant into the carpet please. Too much paperwork.”
Chase rolled his eyes and left for the lab. House watched him as he walked away. He wasn’t entirely convinced the younger man was okay.
Chase was also starting to doubt his own words. His head still hurt and he felt unsteady on his feet as he made his way down the hall to the elevators.
-
Half an hour later, Chase still wasn’t able to shake the feeling that something was wrong. He was sitting in the lab with Cameron and foreman, trying to focus on the antiglobulin test. His head felt kind of fuzzy, making it impossible to do so.
While waiting for the sample to incubate, he placed his middle and index finger on his pulse point and counted the beats. 105. Not terrible, but it definitely shouldn’t be that fast sitting down.
-
After a while the others left to go check on the patient. There wasn’t much to do down here anyways. Chase just needed to wait for the reaction to finish so he could see if the test was positive, which it was, confirming his diagnosis.
When he got up to go give House the results he immediately felt dizzy again. “It’s fine.” He told himself. He would go up to the office to share his findings and after that he could grab a bite to eat. He was a grown man, he should be able to go a couple hours without food, right?
Going back upstairs, he wasn’t so sure about that anymore. His whole body felt heavy and his legs refused to cooperate.
When he reached the office he made a beeline for the closest chair and sat down.
“Gravity not agreeing with you today?” house greeted.
Chase looked up at the man, his eyes were slightly unfocused.
“Test came back positive for AIHA.” He said.
“Great! Well, not so great for the patient since it’s an incurable disease and all, blah blah... But great for us because now we get to go to lunch early.”
At that exact moment chase’s stomach growled. he could feel his face heating up as House looked at him.
“And not a moment too soon apparently. Come on, I’ll text Cameron to hang two units of blood so our patient can return to her probably incredibly boring life. Until her immune system destroys those blood cells too of course. Lymphocytes can be so ungrateful sometimes. I’ll have foreman explain the whole shebang to her. Maybe it will improve his bedside manners.”
Chase nodded. He felt sorry for the patient, but he was glad he could finally get something to eat. Besides. There wasn’t much he could do for her anyway.
House signaled for them to head down to the cafeteria so Chase carefully got up from the chair, not really trusting his own body anymore. As soon as he was upright, all color drained from his face. House watched him from his spot by the door.
“You know, I was kidding earlier when I said we should run that CBC on you, right?” He wasn’t really, but he couldn’t let people know he actually cared.
“Right…” Chase answered in a breathy voice. “I’m fine, just haven’t had breakfast yet.”
House studied him for a moment longer, then looked down at his watch. “It’s barely noon. I’ve seen you go without food way longer than this. What is really going on?”
Chase didn’t want House to know how much he’s neglected his own health lately. How his house is a mess because he can’t find the motivation or energy to do anything about it. How he hasn’t had a home cooked meal in months, surviving mostly on cheap takeout and cereal straight out of the box.
“Please drop it.” He pleaded. “I just need to eat something and I’ll be fine.”
“You look like a sickly Victorian child that’s about to pass out, but sure. You’re fine.”
Chase looked away from the man like it would somehow end the conversation.
“Fine, have it your way. I’m not catching you when you crumple to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Might film it though. The internet is gonna love it. ‘kangaroo struggles with northern hemisphere gravitational force.’ See, cause down there you just hang because you’re upside down. Up here you have to actually keep your body upright, which apparently is a very difficult task for you right now.”
Chase wanted to tell the man off, but standing still all this time made him feel more dizzy.
“Let’s just go.” He said to House before also walking in the direction of the door.
He made it about halfway to the elevators before his vision started to tunnel and his legs went numb. House was a couple feet ahead of him and had no idea the younger man wasn’t right behind him anymore.
Chase had completely stopped walking by now. His head swam and the noise surrounding them sounded muffled in his ears.
“House.” He tried weakly. The older man kept walking.
“House...” He tried again, but the sound died down on his tongue.
With not many options left, he stumbled to the wall in the hopes he could use it to steady himself, maybe sit down for a bit.
He made it to the wall in a few unsteady strides. He held his hand out to brace himself against the glass. He missed and finally lost the battle against the vertigo. He went down and landed on the floor with a soft thud. He stared up at the ceiling. Black dots danced around his vision for a moment. Before he knew it everything went black.
-
After years of practicing medicine, House had gotten used to the endless stupidity of patients, but no matter how much he liked to, he could hardly blame most people for their lack of medical knowledge. Chase however, should know better. It was clear something was going on. And not just a simple case of hypoglycemia. House had been watching him for weeks now, noticing how winded he would get after just a short walk, or how he would fall asleep at the table sometimes at the end of a long shift. They were all tired, but this was something else. Something more than just exhaustion.
Today Chase seemed even more out of it than normal. He had dark circles under his eyes and his skin had taken on a complexion they normally only saw in their patients. Earlier that day he’d brought up the idea of running some tests to see Chase’s reaction. He’d expected some kind of snarky comeback, instead Chase shut him down completely, so House let it be for now.
Big mistake. They were on their way down to the cafeteria to grab lunch. House was walking up front and Chase was lagging behind him. At least that’s what he thought.
It took him a moment to notice the lack of footsteps coming from behind. He turned around just in time to see Chase’s knees buckle. He started walking in his direction but it was too late. The younger man’s body gave out completely and he gracelessly fell down. House cringed as Chase’s head made contact with the ground. Probably not with enough force to give him a concussion, but it would no doubt result in a nasty bump.
He closed the remaining distance between them in a few quick strides and crouched down, his leg protesting loudly at the movement.
“Chase?” He tried, but he got no reaction from the blonde.
“Chase!” He tried again, a little louder this time. When that didn’t work, he made a fist and used his knuckle to rub up and down his sternum a few times. The younger doctor didn’t even flinch.
An audience had already started to form. People were curious to see what was going on.
“Well don’t just stand there!” House yelled. “Get me a gurney!”
Moments later two nurses came back with a gurney. They helped House lift Chase onto it and accompanied him down to the ER.
The charge nurse took one look and pointed them in the direction of the nearest open bay.
House pushed the empty gurney aside and pushed the one Chase was on to the center of the space before drawing the curtains. He pressed his fingers to Chase’s wrist and was about to count the beats when the younger man pulled his arm out of House’s grip.
“What are you doing?” He mumbled, eyes still closed.
“Checking if you’re still alive, you moron!”
Chase finally opened his eyes to see a concerned looking House hovering over him.
“Oh… well I guess I am?”
“You guess you are— Yeah no shit Sherlock!” He was going for angry, but his voice failed to hide how worried he actually was.
“I think I’m okay now, so if we could just—"
“Oh no mister. You are not getting out of this so easily. Not this time. You are gonna stay here and let the nice ER docs run some tests. And you better listen because I am no stranger to tying people down to a bed post.” House threatened.
“Kinky.”
“Oh you have no idea. Just ask Wilson.” The nurse drawing Chase’s blood could barely contain her laughter as she prepped his arm for the needle.
“Laugh all you want. At least I don’t get all randy every time I see a nice juicy vein.” She rolled her eyes at him before sticking in the needle, causing Chase to flinch.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be kink shaming you. Needles are actually a really fun addition to your run of the mill BDSM.” Chase’s eyes widened at the comment and the nurse glared at him angrily. She finished the blood draw and packaged the vials so they could be send to the lab.
“Feel better hon.” She said to Chase, who smiled politely at her.
Next, she looked over to House. “You can expect to hear from HR soon.” She told him before walking away.
“Well someone is experiencing the menses.” He whispered suggestively.
“House.”
“Alright fine. I’ll be nicer to the nurses from now on.” Chase didn’t believe a word he said.
“Anyways.” House started. “Now that we’re on the subject of… things. Care to explain what the hell happened earlier? I know they teach you to be empathetic to your patients, but don’t you think copying their illness is a bit much?”
Chase took a deep breath.
“I don’t know… I’ve been feeling pretty tired lately. Figured it was because of the long hours.”
House shook his head disapprovingly. “Doctors really do make the worst patients… Let me put it this way.” He sat down in the chair next to the gurney Chase was laying on. “If a patient came in complaining of fatigue, headaches, dizziness and getting winded easily. What would be your first step?”
Chase didn’t need long to think of his answer.
“Easy. Most likely suspect is a simple case of anemia. I would take a history. Draw blood for labs, CBC, BMP, electrolytes—” The realization hit him at once.
“Oh, I see what you’re trying to do.”
“You do? Good.” House moved the chair so he was sitting closer to Chase.
“Now tell me. Why is it so easy to take care of patients, and yet, apparently so difficult to take care of your own health, to the extend that you’re passing out in the middle of the hallway.”
Chase found this question more difficult to answer.
“I’m not sure.” He said after a while. He really wasn’t.
House placed his hand on Chase’s arm.
“You should probably figure that out, because you deserve better than this.”
For some reason House’s words really hit him and before he knew it he was blinking back tears.
“I guess I got used to putting everyone else’s needs above my own. When it comes to taking care of myself I sometimes feel… paralyzed? I know that sounds stupid but I’m not sure how else to put it.”
House could see how much Chase was struggling to talk about it.
“It’s not stupid at all. Sounds to me like you lack motivation in some areas. It’s a funny thing isn’t it? In the end our ability to function boils down to a bunch of stupid neurotransmitters that refuse to work properly half of the time.”
That made Chase smile.
“It’s like playing Simon says with a deaf person. No matter how many times I tell myself I need to do something, my stupid brain won’t listen.”
“Unless there is someone else relying on you.”
“Exactly.”
They sat in silence for a while after that. Eventually Chase dozed off. House let him. He looked exhausted, even in his sleep.
When the labs came back House reviewed them. It was pretty much what he expected. Iron deficiency anemia combined with dehydration from the heatwave that probably pushed him over the edge. His body would heal. The real issue here was Chase’s inability to look after himself.
He grabbed his phone and texted Wilson.
-
Chase woke up a couple hours later. He looked down at his arm and noticed they had placed an IV while he was out.
“It’s just a banana bag.” House said when he saw Chase staring at his arm. The older man was still sitting in the same spot as before.
“How are you feeling?”
“A lot better actually… Headache is gone.”
“Yeah you were pretty dehydrated. Dit you drink anything besides coffee today?”
Chase didn’t need to say anything. The guilty expression on his face told House everything he needed to know.
“I got you this.” He handed Chase a sandwich that was neatly wrapped in plastic foil.
“Thanks.” He smiled.
House explained what they found in the labs while Chase ate the sandwich. When he finished it, House handed him a bottle of water and told him to drink it all. Chase did as he was told.
“So.” House started as Chase was sipping his water.
“I explained the whole situation to Wilson. He offered to prep you some meals so you can still eat healthy without having to cook every night. I’m guessing that is one of the things you struggle with.”
Chase was about to protest but House stopped him before he could say anything.
“And before you start feeling all guilty or what not, Wilson said he would be happy to help you out. The man loves to cook for other people. He used to do it for his wife, or wives I should say. But now that he is divorced again, You can step in and fill hole in his people pleasing heart. You’re way prettier that all of his exes anyway.”
Chase chuckled. “And here I was thinking that spot in his heart was reserved for you.”
“Oh please.” House scoffed. “I colonized most of his brain instead. I’m like a cancer he can’t get rid of. Which is Ironic because he’s an oncologist. You get it?”
“That’s a terrible joke.”
“Yeah well, you’d know, wouldn’t you? At least I have jokes that start with something other than ‘Yo mama’.”
Chase finished the last of the water and threw the empty bottle in House’s direction, not so accidentally hitting him in the head with it.
“I should’ve left you lying on the floor in the hallway.”
Chase smirked. “You would never do that. You like me too much.”
“No, I like not having to find new employee’s.”
“You totally care about me! Why else would you do all this?”
“Shut up.”
House may have acted all annoyed, but in reality he was just happy Chase was feeling better.
“Listen.” House said after a while. “I talked to the ER doc, and he agrees that it is safe for you to go home tonight. You’re getting a prescription for iron tablets and you need to go to the clinic in two weeks to get your blood drawn again, but for now you’re good to go.”
Chase nodded.
“Alright, that’s reasonable.”
“And…” House continued. “You are going to start taking better care of yourself. I know you don’t like it, but hear me out. I need you to look out for yourself. Okay? I’m hereby giving you the motivation to do so.”
Chase hesitated for a moment.
“I’m not sure it works like that but I can give it a try.”
“Atta boy. You can start by sleeping in tomorrow. Take the day off.”
“But what about the patients?” Chase argued.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got two other lackeys with a considerably less amount of self-destructive tendencies.”
“Touché.” He let his head fall back onto the pillow.
“Thanks for… saving me from myself I guess.”
House got up from his chair and put his hand on Chase’s shoulder.
“You and the others have saved me from myself countless times. It’s time I returned the favor.” He squeezed Chase’s shoulder for a second before letting go. “I’ll go get you that discharge paperwork.”
Chase grabbed his arm before he could walk away.
“Thankyou… for everything. I mean it.”
House gave him a quick nod. “Don’t mention it.” And with that, he disappeared behind the curtain.
Chase smiled at the thought of not having to wake up early tomorrow. Maybe this so called self-care wasn’t so bad after all.