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Chapter Text

The cracked ground shifted beneath his feet, forcing Cloud to adjust his stance. He didn’t register the movement, all his focus reserved for the swirling green mass in the sky. The jagged edges continually faded into a flowing glow only to sharpen once more. Danger oozed from the vortex, but also a sort of beauty he couldn’t look away from. Wind whipped around him, tugging at his clothes and sending his hair flying into his eyes. Still, his gaze didn’t falter. 

Only when the screaming in his head faded did he allow himself to blink, immediately shifting his focus from the sky to the horizon. The ever-present pain in his head spiked as silence descended, and his hand clenched around the hilt of his sword reflexively. Quiet never meant peace in this place. It meant he was closing in. 

He was always watching; always waiting for Cloud to falter. Even as the thought crossed his mind, movement appeared in his peripheral vision. He spun left, ducking under an incoming blow and attacking in the same motion. The monster went down, but Cloud didn’t stop to celebrate his victory. Instead, he completed his spin, bringing his sword up just in time to stop the second monster’s slash from striking him. 

They surrounded him; a massive swarm of monsters. At least seven feet tall, they resembled giant bats without wings. Their grotesque faces sneered and snapped, eager to taste his blood. He didn’t give them the opportunity, flowing from one to the next with the speed and skill years of fighting had bestowed upon him. 

Once they all lay dead at his feet, Cloud turned once more to face the swirling sky. He closed his eyes, savoring the remaining quiet. It never lasted long once the fighting ended; the screaming always won in the end.

“Cloud.”

The whisper made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. The quiet intensified; the absence of sound was so loud it hurt.

“Look at me, Cloud. Look upon your salvation.”

Instead of following the order, Cloud’s eyes squeezed shut tighter. This angered the voice. The wind shifted, and the sky darkened; bright green turning almost black.

Not again… I can’t do this again.

“Do you think you can hide from me, Cloud? I am your god. I make up the very world you stand in. You’ll never escape me. Wake up,” the voice scoffed. 

A leather-clad hand landed on his shoulder, and Cloud’s heart fell. 

Not again. Please, not again.

“You are mine.”

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

*****

“Wake up, Cloud! It’s just another nightmare. Wake up. You’re safe. It’s over.”

Cloud jolted away from the weight of the hand shaking him, rolling into a crouch to face this new threat. His hand grasped uselessly for his missing sword. He frantically cast his eyes about, searching for the enemy. His gaze landed on Zack, who stared back with worry and fear. 

Cloud didn’t relax. If anything, his muscles drew tighter. The voice never left; not for long. He had to protect Zack. He opened his mouth to tell him to run. To hide. Instead of words, all that escaped was a weak croak.

“Cloud?” Zack’s voice was hesitant, as though he knew he was dealing with a bomb that could go off any moment. 

Cloud looked around again, confusion overtaking the fear. Where was he? It was too dark; the colors too dull. Where was the green? He cast his eyes to the sky, but instead of the familiar vortex, he was met with corrugated steel; the ceiling of a shipping container. The closest thing to a home he had left.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply and trying to calm his racing heart. 

This is real. This is reality. I’m not there anymore. He can’t hurt me anymore.

He repeated the words like a mantra. Slowly, the tension bled from his muscles, leaving him feeling weak and shaky. The sensation grated on him. He couldn’t afford to be weak. Zack needed him to be strong.

He opened his eyes once more and stared at Zack helplessly. Zack, who had carried him across the world when Cloud couldn’t carry himself. Zack, who still carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“You with me?” Zack asked cautiously.

He wanted to say yes. Wanted to erase the concern shining in Zack’s eyes. But he couldn’t. Already, the world felt distant. The colors that had already looked dull faded further. The distant sounds of Midgar became muffled, leaving behind only the screaming in his mind.

*****

Watching Cloud disappear behind those blank eyes never got easier. Zack wanted to shake him. To scream at him to snap out of it already. Instead, he wrapped a ratty blanket around his shoulders gently. After a moment, Cloud’s hands came up to grasp the edges, holding it close. He continued to stare at the wall. No, not at the wall; through it. Seeing him like that broke Zack’s heart. Cloud may not be comatose anymore, but he still wasn’t there. 

The distant sound of a train reached his ears, and Zack shook the melancholy thoughts from his mind. He had work to do if they wanted to eat today. The thought of hunting down more scrap to sell brought down his already low mood. Still, beggars couldn’t be choosers and, right now, they were the definition of beggars. 

“I’m off to work, Cloudy. I’ll see you later, okay? Don’t go anywhere while I’m gone!” He put as much cheer into his voice as he could muster; for his own sake if not for Cloud’s. He didn’t receive an answer, but then he hadn’t expected one. With one last look back, Zack gathered the broken-off pipe that served as his weapon and exited the shipping container. 

Maybe I’ll get lucky and there’ll be a monster that needs killing.

*****

There had been no monster to kill; only cold, unforgiving scrap to collect. Scrap that now sat on the merchant’s counter looking wholly unimpressive in the fading light. Zack winced as the man chewed on his cigar, shuffling the scrap around dismissively. Without a word, he produced 2 coins. He tossed them onto the dirty counter, ignoring Zack’s outstretched hand. When Zack didn’t immediately scoop them up, he blew smoke in his direction.

“Closing time. Take it or leave it.” His voice said he knew Zack would take it; that he was desperate enough to accept anything.

That isn’t enough! It’s worth twice that, at least!

Zack bit his tongue to hold the thoughts back. Arguing would only bring unwanted attention. The last thing Cloud needed was for Zack to get in a fight and bring Shinra down on them. No, Cloud needed warm food and a safe place to rest and recover. Gritting his teeth, Zack gathered the coins and turned away, waving his hand in front of his face to displace the lingering smoke.

The sound of the door to the merchant’s stall slamming shut rang out behind him, but he paid no mind. The lights were already dimming overhead as night approached. If he wanted to find supper, he needed to hurry.

Hang on, Cloud. Food is coming.

*****

Cloud stared at the rusty red wall until the candle burned out. He didn’t notice the weak light sputtering; didn’t notice the dark engulfing him. When the red wall disappeared, he switched to staring through the blackness. It didn’t matter what his eyes saw. In his mind, all that existed was green.

Eventually, his body registered a change. A tug. He shivered, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. He stood stiffly, muscles locked from sitting for so long. One foot shuffled in front of the other as he pushed through the door, the hinges squealing in protest. The air was no fresher outside, but Cloud didn’t notice. His body moved without input, his mind still lost in the green swirling sky he both feared and craved. 

*****

Zack hummed tunelessly under his breath as he trudged back to the container, desperate for any semblance of normalcy. The soup he’d acquired, more slop than food, wouldn’t feed both of them. He could have gotten twice as much stale bread for the same amount of gil, but Cloud had a hard time chewing on a good day. Based on how the morning had started, today hadn’t been a good day. Despite its unappealing appearance, the smell of the soup made Zack’s mouth water. He swallowed hard. 

It’s for Cloud. I’ll be fine. 

The thought did nothing to ease the gnawing in his gut. He forced himself to focus on his surroundings. The lights overhead illuminated the world just enough to make it feel dangerous, but Zack’s SOLDIER eyes cut through the gloom easily. The quiet felt oppressive; the leftover change in his pocket jangled loudly in the silence. His free hand reached down to stop the noise, knowing anyone who heard it would know exactly what it meant. Some chump was roaming around after dark with a pocketful of gil. Easy pickings. His hands clenched involuntarily, almost spilling the soup. 

“Shit,” he whispered, quickly correcting his grip. 

Luckily, no one stepped out of the darkness to stop him. Most people knew better than to confront him, some innate sense of self-preservation warning them of the danger he posed. There was always someone willing to press their luck, however, and when they did, things always got messy. 

We just got settled. I don’t want to make Cloud move again already. He’s always so jumpy in unfamiliar places.

The container came into view, and Zack’s heart stopped. The door stood ajar; the interior was pitch black. He broke into a run; the soup forgotten.

Maybe it got stuffy, and Cloud opened the door for some fresh air?

“Cloud!” he yelled, wrenching the door the rest of the way open. His voice echoed in the empty space. Cloud was gone.

*****

Step. Step. Step. 

Cloud floated in a sea of green. He felt his legs move; felt the distant sensation of the ground beneath his feet. His destination a mystery, he trudged on. Each step brought him closer to home. To salvation. To reunion. 

Step. Step. Step.

*****

Zack darted his gaze around, frantically searching for any sign of Cloud’s location. Nothing was out of place. The pathetic pallet they called a bed lay untouched, Zack’s blanket missing. He recalled wrapping it around Cloud before he left. Maybe Cloud still had it?

He focused on his breathing until his heart calmed. In two, three, four. Hold two, three, four. Out two, three, four, five, six. 

Again, he cast his eyes about. This time, with his head clear of panic, he could take in the details he’d missed. There was no sign of a struggle, meaning Cloud had left on his own. Was that good or bad? He turned back to the door. It hadn’t been more than cracked, but Cloud was slight. He could easily have slipped through the gap.

Zack stepped out into the gloom, his foot kicking the dropped cup of soup. What direction could he have gone? He tried to look in every direction at once. If he went the wrong way, he might never find him. Anything was better than standing around waiting for him to return, though. 

“Cloud,” he called, picking a random direction and walking. “Cloud!” He didn’t expect an answer, but he couldn’t hold back the shouts.

Eventually, he registered the tracks. Steps pressed into the dust, each connected by a drag mark. The distance between each was short, as though the person who left them was shuffling their feet instead of walking.

“Cloud.”

He continued North, following the tracks like a lifeline. Finally, he spotted a figure ahead. A dark silhouette shuffled along with its head down, wrapped in a very familiar, ratty old blanket.

“Cloud!” he hollered, running to catch up.

“Shut up!” The voice echoed in the night, but Zack paid it no mind. He reached Cloud’s side and repeated his name. He didn’t react; just continued walking. Zack reached out and gently grasped his arm. When that didn’t stop him, he stepped in front of him. Instead of halting, Cloud walked right into him. Zack grasped both his shoulders and shook him lightly. 

“Cloud! Snap out of it!” He shook him again. Cloud didn't respond, but he stopped trying to move forward. 

Zack stared into his eyes, praying for some flicker of recognition. Dull blue stared back, shot through with the glow of mako. He sighed in defeat. Part of him had hoped against hope that this was a sign he was recovering; that maybe he woke up and decided he needed a walk to clear his head.

“Come on, Cloud. Let’s go home.” He spoke quietly, defeat laced in every word. The word home tasted like ash. 

Chapter Text

Green. A swirling vortex of green. The color of life. The color of mako. The color of his eyes. It hurt to look at it. It hurt more to look away.

Cloud’s eyes snapped open, the green instantly replaced with the dark, rusty red of the container. He waited for it to fade, like it always did. Waited to drift off in the green tide once more. 

Only instead of floating away, the world around him sharpened. First, he felt the cold. He exhaled slowly, watching as his breath fogged the air in front of him. Then, the warmth registered. It covered his entire back, acting as a better buffer from the cold than the ragged cloth he huddled under. The weight across his waist made itself known next, followed by the sensation of movement against his back. Slow, deep breaths. 

Zack.

Cloud closed his eyes and savored the reality of it all. The feeling of the hard floor beneath him. The scratchiness of the blanket. The bite of the frigid air. The comforting warmth along his back. This he focused on the most. He never felt warmth anymore. There was no room for warmth in the green.

He breathed in the scent of rust and sulfur. Of high-grade weapon oil and mako. Of sweat and leather and ozone. He clung to the sensations, both good and bad.

Zack’s arm tightened around his waist momentarily before it pulled away entirely. Cloud felt him sit up. Felt him stretch. Heard him sigh. The tired sound wounded his very soul. It was the sound of bone-deep exhaustion. Zack may have slept, but he hadn’t rested.

Cloud rolled onto his back, looking up at his friend with weary eyes. Zack looked back, surprise and hope flaring in his gaze.

“You with me?” Zack all but whispered, as though he feared speaking too loudly would scare the moment away.

Instead of answering, Cloud nodded once. Zack smiled in return, but it didn’t reach his eyes. This wasn’t the first time Cloud had been lucid. It never lasted long. Cloud wanted to answer the unspoken question in Zack’s gaze, but neither was ready to hear the answer. Instead, he broke eye-contact and slowly sat up. The world tried to tilt sideways, dizziness causing his vision to blur around the edges.

“Easy there, Cloud. Take it slow.” Zack’s hand settled on his shoulder, acting as an anchor.

“How long?” His voice came out croaky from disuse. That partially answered his question, but he needed to hear Zack say it.

“Don’t you worry about that. Once you’re able to stand, we’ll head to the market. Get you some food. That’ll help.”

Cloud turned to face Zack once more. 

“How long, Zack?”

Zack hesitated. When he answered, he spoke so quietly Cloud had to strain to hear him over the ringing in his ears. 

“Almost a month.”

A month. He’d been out of it for a month. Floating in a sea of green while Zack killed himself to keep them both alive. Cloud hung his head in shame.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered brokenly.

Zack grasped Cloud’s face in his calloused hands and forced him to look up. He bent forward until their foreheads pressed together.

“Don’t do that, Spike. Don’t go down those rabbit holes. We’re here. We’re alive. The rest will work itself out in time. Now, come on. Let’s go find some food.”

He felt hollow; empty inside. But food wouldn’t fix that. The thought of eating anything turned his stomach. One look at the determination written on Zack’s face told him arguing would do nothing but waste time and energy, both of which were in short supply.

“Okay,” he finally agreed. His heart may not be in it, but Zack’s was. And he owed Zack far more than a trip to the market. He owed him the world.  

*****

Once he had Cloud steady on his feet, Zack shoved their pitiful excuse for a mattress aside, then dug his nails into the edge of the plywood floor and pried it up.

He stared into the void he had uncovered for a moment. The scent of weapon-oil reached his nose along with the scent of dirt and rotten wood. He took in ‌the sight of the bottle and oil rag; the sight of the whetstone. The familiar shape of the Buster Sword, wrapped in an old cloth. For a moment, he allowed himself to remember the weight of it in his hands. To remember brighter days when he didn’t have to hide. He reached out, fingers extended reverently. At the last second, he reached past the blade and grabbed the small bag of gil instead.

Compared with his memories of the sword, the bag weighed next to nothing. He opened it and shook the coins into his hand. After saving every spare gil for months, he’d hoped there would be more. Quickly, he sorted out what he needed and placed the rest back in the hole beside the Buster Sword. He recovered the hole and turned to face Cloud, tossing what he hoped was a believable smile his way.

“Hope you’re hungry, Spike. Today, we eat like kings!”

Cloud didn’t smile back, but his eyes remained clear and focused. Zack would take what he could get.

*****

It didn’t take long for the whispers to reach their ears. Zack was used to it. He faced these people every day; knew exactly how low their opinions of him were. His skin had long since thickened. Cloud had no such defenses. Zack winced on his behalf for every insult thrown their way.

Junkies. 

Low-life scum. 

Watch you gil.

A young boy, only 5 or 6, broke away from the crowd and stopped in front of Zack. He smiled at the child, grateful at least one person could look past their appearance and see them.

“My dad says you’re nothing but a no-good junkie keeper.”

Zack’s smile became brittle. When a haggard-looking woman stepped forward and snatched the boy back, glaring at Zack suspiciously, the smile shattered. 

“Come on, Cloud. Let’s get you that breakfast.” 

He started moving again only to realize Cloud wasn’t following him. He spun around to find him facing North, staring blankly into space. 

No. Please no. Not yet. He only just woke up.

“Cloudy? You good?”

Cloud didn’t respond; just continued to stare at nothing. Zack stepped in front of him, breaking his line-of-sight. Cloud blinked slowly, as though surfacing from a dream. 

“You good?” Zack repeated.

Cloud shook his head as if he were trying to shake away cobwebs. 

“Yeah. Sorry, was just… lost in thought.”

Neither ‌of them believed him. 

“Come on, Cloud. Let’s get you settled.” 

Zack cast his eyes around, taking in the distrust and disgust written on everyone’s faces. His gaze lit on the food stall; on the man standing behind the counter. If he took Cloud near him, he might refuse to serve them. At the very least, he’d jack up the prices. 

Hazard pay.

Gently, he took Cloud’s arm and led him to a quiet corner, away from the crowd. The smell of refuse filled his nose as they approached. It felt wrong leaving him to stand near a trash heap, but what else could he do? They had to eat.

“Just… wait here. I’ll be right back. Then we can go home.”

Cloud nodded in agreement and leaned back against the rusty metal wall behind him. Zack’s gaze lingered on his blue eyes. Even shot through with mako-glow, they were a beautiful sight. Though tired, they were clear and bright… they meant Cloud was there. 

His growling stomach broke the spell, and Zack forced himself to step away. He approached the stall with as much confidence as he could muster. The merchant already had a loaf of stale bread sitting in front of him on the dirty counter. He held his hand out expectantly, shooting glares in Cloud’s direction. 

The scent of grilled meat made Zack’s mouth water. When was the last time he’d eaten anything that wasn’t scraps? The man cleared his throat impatiently and snapped his fingers.

“You buying or what? You’re scaring away my customers.”

Zack hesitated. Mentally, he calculated his gil. The meat caught his eye again. Maybe….

Crash!

The sound came from behind him. From where he’d left Cloud. He spun around, food forgotten. Screams rang out as people scattered. Three monsters were wreaking havoc in the market square; their pale, hairless skin fairly glowed in the light from the sunlamps. 

And Cloud… Cloud was missing.

*****

Cloud crossed his arms to appear less intimidating as he watched Zack’s retreating form. Judging from the looks people shot his way, it wasn’t working. Disgust shown in their eyes, as well as a healthy dose of distrust. These people would never see him as more than a junkie; never see Zack as more than his keeper. He glared at the little boy who’d hurt Zack with his words. The kid stuck his tongue out at him, hiding in his mother’s skirts when Cloud’s glare deepened.

His stomach chose that moment to make its displeasure known, mimicking the growl Zack’s had made just moments earlier. He winced at the sensation. While he might not have an appetite, that didn’t mean his body agreed. For months he had gone without adequate food. Now, his mouth watered at the thought of eating a proper meal.

After floating for so long, the sights and smells of the market overwhelmed his senses. Cloud stepped away from the wall and retreated into a nearby alley. The smell was no better, but the murmur of voices cut down considerably. He slumped against the wall, hands coming up to cradle his pounding head. The screaming, which had faded to a background hum, was coming back. That meant he didn’t have much time left. 

“Hey, kid.”

The voice came from deeper in the alley. Cloud straightened, instantly on edge. Who would dare speak to him? No one could stand to be near him, afraid he’d somehow taint them with his “addiction.” 

A skeleton of a man emerged from farther in the alley. His thin, greasy hair hung in his bloodshot eyes, and when he grinned at Cloud, he revealed crooked, blackened teeth. Internally, Cloud recoiled from the sight, but he didn’t let it show. He stood taller, shifting to widen his stance.

“What do you want?” He kept his voice monotone; disinterest coming through loud and clear.

“You look thirsty. Overseer’s trying to cut you off? I’ve seen it before. But I can help. I’ve got the good stuff.”

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a glowing green vial. The color entranced Cloud. It was so close to his beloved green, yet lacked the vibrancy he expected. He should have been disgusted with the offer. Instead, he found himself drawn to it. 

What would it hurt? Just once. They already treat me like a junkie. And if it can take away the pain, even for a little while…

Crash!

Cloud spun away from the man, hand reaching reflexively behind himself for a sword that didn’t exist outside his dreams. The sounds of panicked screaming reached his ears, along with growls and more crashes. 

Zack!

Cloud raced back to the market, the man and his offer forgotten. He arrived in time to see Zack swinging his pipe at what looked like a giant, rabid mole-rat. Zack, who was running on fumes. Zack, who hadn’t had a proper meal in weeks. Even as he watched, two more of the creatures appeared to flank him. He went down swinging, his pipe falling to the ground with a loud clank.

Green descended. Cloud was no longer in a market in the most run-down part of Midgar. He was back on his home turf. Calmly, he walked forward. The creatures, now more shadows than living things, seemed to move in slow motion. He stepped over Zack’s prone form, ignoring the hand tugging at his pant leg, and scooped up the pipe. The screaming in his head intensified.

One after another, the shadows descended. One after another, he put them down, just as he had thousands of times before. These didn’t even put up much of a fight. 

Once they lay dead at his feet, Cloud looked to the sky. Where was the vortex? Dizziness overwhelmed him, and he dropped his weapon in favor of grabbing his spinning head. Slowly, he sank to his knees, unaware of the monster blood soaking into his clothes.

*****

Zack watched in shock as the helpless trooper under his care took out the monsters with the speed and precision of a 1st Class SOLDIER. The fight was over almost before it had begun. Once the last monster fell, Cloud turned his gaze reverently toward the sky. Almost immediately, he fell to his knees, clasping his head as though in excruciating pain. 

Zack scooped himself off the ground and ran to his side. He gently pried Cloud’s hands away, searching frantically for an injury. Instead of blood, he was met with the cold, dead gaze he knew all too well. Cloud was gone, leaving only a husk wearing his face. Zack hadn’t thought his heart could fall any farther. He’d been wrong.

Whispers reached his ears, filled with terror and disgust.

Did you see that? 

Stay back! It’s not safe.

He’s a demon!

Did you see his eyes?

What if he comes after us next?

Knowing the situation could turn volatile at any moment, Zack gently pulled Cloud to his feet and began leading him away from the carnage. Cloud came with no fuss; no recognition he was even moving. Just put one foot in front of the other reflexively.

Behind him, he heard chaos break loose as the crowd swarmed the corpses. His heart sank at the injustice. All that meat, the hides, the teeth, the claws. Every bit was theirs by right. Yet they would get none of it.

The merchant’s stall stood abandoned, the man running it part of the mob tearing apart the monsters’ remains. As they limped past, Zack reached out and grabbed the loaf of bread. He just hoped he could get Cloud to eat it.

Chapter Text

A scavenged tin of soup, long out of date. Half of a loaf of rock-hard bread. A mostly empty bottle of water. One cup, two plates, and a moldy old newspaper.

As Zack took stock of their meager belongings, he felt a change in the air. The atmosphere in the container shifted; he was no longer alone. His eyes shot to Cloud and found him looking back. Not staring in his direction, but actively looking at Zack.

“How long?”

Zack closed his eyes, savoring the rusty sound of Cloud’s voice. 

“Zack?”

He forced himself to focus. Now wasn’t the time to get lost in his head; not when Cloud had just escaped from his own. Still, this part never got easier.

“About a week.” He spoke matter-of-factly. Sugarcoating the truth would do them no good, and Cloud didn’t want that, anyway. 

Cloud’s eyes fell closed; his shoulders curled inward. Zack wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him, but he stayed put. Cloud didn’t need to be coddled. In fact…

“Cloud?”

His head came up, tired eyes meeting his own. “Yeah?”

Did he really want to ask this; really want to open this can of worms? Cloud wouldn’t like it, but… he had to know.

“What happened last week?”

Instantly, Cloud’s face shuttered. His arms came up to hug himself defensively.

“How should I know?”

It wasn’t what Zack wanted to hear, but it’s what he’d expected. Asking Cloud to recall anything was cruel. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to drop it.

“You fought like a demon. Like a SOLDIER. Where did you learn to fight like that?”

Cloud’s frown became a look of utter confusion.

“That’s impossible.”

“Me and half the neighborhood saw you. When I went down, you just appeared. You took out three monsters in no time without taking a hit. That wasn’t luck. That takes skill and training.”

Cloud shook his head decisively.

“I was just a trooper. Now, look at me. I couldn’t fight my way out of a wet paper bag.”

Frustration bubbled just beneath the surface. If Cloud said he didn’t remember, he didn’t remember. But Zack knew what he’d seen. It couldn’t have been a fluke, but how could he prove that to Cloud? To himself?

The answer, when it came to him, seemed obvious. Eagerly, he jumped to his feet. Ignoring the wave of dizziness, he reached a hand out to Cloud and pulled him up.

“You say you can’t fight? Prove it.”

*****

Zack stood across from him, a length of rusty rebar held in one hand. Cloud glanced down at his own piece, lying at his feet. This was stupid. He didn’t know how to fight. Not like Zack had described.

Like a demon. Like a SOLDIER.

Cloud scoffed. Impossible. Yes, he had dreams in which he could fight, but those weren’t reality. And yet… Zack had never lied to him before. What if…

He bent down and picked up the rebar one-handed. The weight surprised him. It looked so light; like a long metal twig. But as he held it, the end dipped, almost touching the ground. He adjusted his grip to use both hands instead of one. Then, he looked at Zack, at a loss for what to do next.

“Hit me.” Zack sounded both excited and trepidatious. 

Cloud tightened his grip on the rebar and took a deep, fortifying breath. Then, he swung. The momentum caused him to stumble; the clang of Zack’s rebar connecting with his own sent shockwaves up his arms.

“Come on, Cloud. This isn’t baseball. Hit me.”

Cloud grit his teeth. Again, he swung. Again, Zack countered the blow. Cloud’s hands felt numb from the impact and his tight grip. He tried again, and again, each swing more unwieldy than the last. Finally, Zack became frustrated enough to swing back. 

Cloud failed to block. The rebar struck his arm with enough force to cause him to drop his own weapon. It hit the dust with a thump, and he kicked it in disgust.

“Shit, Cloud! Are you okay?”

Cloud shook his head. Instead of saying I told you so, he let his glare speak for itself. He’d been stupid to try. He knew he couldn’t fight, but he’d allowed himself to believe that maybe… 

His arm hurt, but the pain was dull compared to his shame. He couldn’t look Zack in the eye. Couldn’t bear to see the disappointment. Instead, he turned away and walked back toward the container. 

“Cloud, wait. Maybe if we…”

“No, Zack,” he said, not bothering to turn around. He kept his head up, eyes forward, desperately holding on to what little dignity he had left. 

“Stupid demon!”

He didn’t register the shout. Didn’t register the whistle of the rock being thrown at his head. Didn’t register his hand shooting up to catch it. 

He brought his hand down, looking at the rock in confusion. It wasn’t quite the size of a baseball, but it felt far heavier. He stared at it for a moment before letting it drop to the ground with a dull thud, continuing on his way. He didn’t even bother looking to see who’d thrown it. 

*****

Zack watched Cloud disappear into the shipping container, the door closing behind him with a bang. 

What the fuck just happened?

Zack walked over to the rock, now lying harmlessly on the ground, and picked it up. He balanced it in his palm, taking in the weight. The thought of what could have happened made him see red. He turned his head in the direction it had come from and spotted a group of teens in the gloom of the nearby alley. The rock went flying before his brain had even decided to throw it. It crashed against the sheet metal they huddled behind, and they scattered.

“Yeah, you better run! If I see you around here again, I won’t miss!”

Cautiously, he approached the container. Who would he find inside? His best friend or a shadow wearing his face? Steeling himself for either outcome, he pulled the door open and stepped inside. 

Cloud didn’t look up at him. For a moment, Zack’s heart sank. But Cloud wasn’t just sitting there staring into space. He was fidgeting; picking at his nails and refusing to meet Zack’s eyes. Zack let out the breath he’d been holding. Cloud was still Cloud; but for how long?

*****

Cloud picked at his watered-down soup, pushing the small hunk of stale bread around until it turned to mush. Disgusted, he set the dented cup aside and focused his attention elsewhere. With nothing else to focus on, his gaze settled on Zack. He watched mesmerized as the Buster Sword seemed to absorb the flickering candlelight. As Zack ran the whetstone along its edge reverently.

Why does he bother? That life is gone.

Slowly, a sound reached his ears. Soft humming, so low he almost thought he was imagining it. Cloud’s gaze went from the sword to the man holding it. What he saw took his breath away. Zack looked peaceful. 

That’s why he bothers. To him, it’s more than a weapon.

Cloud’s gaze returned to the sword. He watched as Zack carefully ran the oil rag across it. He tried to see it through Zack’s eyes, but found he couldn’t. To Cloud, it would always just be a sword that weighed too much, both physically and emotionally.

As he watched Zack’s hands glide along the surface, he felt his eyes growing tired. He bit back a yawn and attempted to shake away the drowsiness. Life outside the green was too precious to waste sleeping. Zack paused his humming, glancing up. Their eyes met and held, and Cloud allowed a small smile to slip through. 

BANG! BANG! BANG!

*****

Zack was on his feet before the sound finished reverberating through the container. The Buster Sword weighed heavily in his hand. For a moment, he considered keeping it out. Considered using it to face whatever stood outside that door to protect them. 

BANG! BANG! BANG!

“Open up!”

Zack shook the reckless thoughts from his head. Now wasn’t the time to risk everything. Moving quickly, he quietly set the sword on their pallet and tossed their blanket over it. It wasn’t perfect. Anyone who looked closely would see the obvious outline under the cloth, but it was all he had.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The sound echoed loudly in the confined space. 

“Go away! We’re resting!” He hollered, then turned to Cloud and whispered, “Just sit tight, Spike. I’ll take care of it.” 

Cloud looked back blankly, and Zack cursed under his breath. He was gone again. Running would not be an option. He had to neutralize this threat without creating too much commotion. Otherwise, he’d bring Shinra down on their heads. If they weren’t already there.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Whoever was out there, they weren’t leaving. And they were growing impatient. Zack scooped up the piece of rebar from earlier and cautiously approached the door. With one last glance back at Cloud, he unwound the wire holding the door closed and cracked it open.

A giant of a man stood before him, dressed in green cargo pants and a brown vest that did nothing to hide his muscular frame. Sunglasses covered his eyes, making it impossible for Zack to judge his intentions. It was the gun attached to his arm that caught Zack’s eye, though. 

“What do you want?” He kept his voice clipped, hoping he sounded annoyed instead of terrified. His grip tightened on the length of rebar, and his muscles tensed. It didn’t matter how large this man was or how well armed. He would not get through to Cloud. 

“Looking for the ‘demon’.” The man’s voice came out gruff and impatient.

Shit! Cloud…

“What demon?”

“Don’t play stupid. Rumor is you’ve got a junkie in there that fights like a demon. I need that kind of crazy.”

The man gripped the door, arching his neck to look behind Zack. He scoffed in disgust even as Zack moved to keep himself between Cloud and the stranger’s gaze. 

“That’s what I dragged myself clear across Midgar for? A vegetable?”

Zack’s hand twitched. The man glanced down, taking in the sight of Zack’s hand clenching the rebar.

“And what about you?”

“What about me?” Zack bit out the words. 

“You look like you can fight. I need muscle for a job. Pay’s good.”

As much as he wanted to slam to door in the man’s face, the prospect of payment stopped him. He hesitated only briefly before asking, “How much?”

The man grunted, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pouch. The clinking sound made it clear what was inside. Judging by the size of the pouch, there was enough gil to pay for their way out of this dump. 

“What’s the job?”

The man grinned, white teeth shining brightly against his dark skin. 

“Train job. We’re gonna stick it to Shinra good.”

Instantly, all hope Zack had of this being their golden ticket vanished. His expression hardened, and he shoved the door, intending to slam it in the man’s face. 

“We don’t fuck with Shinra.”

The man reached out and stopped the door from closing.

“What the fuck do you mean you ‘don’t fuck with Shinra’? What are you, a couple of Shinra lap-dogs?”

“We don’t fuck with Shinra,” Zack repeated and wrenched the door out of the man’s hand, slamming it shut.

“Cowards!”

The man’s voice echoed around them. Zack rewound the wire to lock the door again. His hands came up, and he leaned against the closed door, forehead coming to rest against the cold metal. He did nothing more than breathe for several minutes. 

What were they going to do now? That gil would have paid their way out of Midgar. For a second, he was tempted to wrench the door open and call the man back. To take the job and damn the risks. If it were only him, he’d have done it in a heartbeat. But it wasn’t just him. Sighing, Zack let his hands drop and turned around to face Cloud, freezing at what he saw.

Cloud wasn’t where he’d left him. Instead of sitting huddled in the corner, he stood tall and strong, the Buster Sword held in one hand. 

“Cloud?” Zack kept his voice low and calm, ignoring the way his heart pounded. 

Cloud didn’t react; just kept staring past Zack at the door, his eyes still void of anything except that unnerving green glow. 

Cautiously, Zack approached him. He never even twitched, gaze locked on the door. Moving slowly, Zack reached out and gently pried Cloud’s fingers from the sword hilt. He didn’t fight to keep it. Once he had it, Zack made quick work of returning it to the hole in the floor and covering it back up. Cloud didn’t move until Zack urged him to sit.

What happened? Just earlier today, he struggled to lift a piece of rebar. Now he can lift the Buster Sword?

Zack hung his head. A desperate laugh escaped, sounding far too close to a sob.

“What am I supposed to do?”

Cloud didn’t answer.