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1.
"Rabbit hybrids are a social species and often form strong bonds with their loved ones. Following you around could be a sign of affection, as the rabbit hybrid wants to be close to you and spend time with you... Rabbits that choose to rest or nap beside you are showcasing a strong level of trust and affection."
Philza appreciates that Technoblade is helping him with his 172-step plan towards world domination.
Granted, Philza is only at about step eight or so. It's slow going, though an elytrian like him has all the time in the world. Immortality does not breed haste. Who cares if it takes a while for him to get there? Eventually, he will rule the entire living domain and all the fools that exist within it, which is all that matters. For now, he's content to preside over the valley with its delightfully entertaining hybrid citizens who clearly adore him. Most of them have not put any complaint towards The Crow Father being their supreme authority, anyway.
Least of all Technoblade, who is no fool but rather smart enough to see that Philza rewards those that prove their usefulness to him.
He did have to add some steps to that world domination plan (step four: make a carrot farm efficient enough to keep up with Techno's frankly ridiculous demand for carrots, step five: make a gold farm efficient enough to keep up with Techno's equally ridiculous demand for golden carrots), but it's worth it to have the mercenary in his corner. For a hybrid species that's presumed to be quite docile, Techno has a mean streak with an ax. More importantly, there's just about nothing Techno won't do for those carrots. This makes him a good underling to have around.
Philza just doesn't know if Techno needs to be this around.
"I don't really have anything for you to do today," he admits, maybe a little sheepishly though he'd kill somebody for pointing that out. The Crow Father doesn't do sheepish. He's cool and collected, always.
"I know," Techno says. And very pointedly doesn't move from where he's standing in the middle of Phil's base after following the man around all day.
"Which means no carrots either," Phil adds. Sometimes he gives carrots to Techno despite the bunny not having done anything to deserve them. Phil is just a good guy like that.
"Hm," Techno hums, pulling a carrot out of his pocket. He turns it over in his hand. "Got plenty."
"Yeah, thanks to me." Philza isn't the only one in the valley who pays for Techno's skill. But he is Techno's most loyal customer, he's pretty sure.
Techno hums a second time, sitting down on the chair Phil uses for his diabolical planning. It's a pretty good desk chair too.
"What are you doing?" Phil asks, failing quite spectacularly at sounding annoyed.
"Just hanging out," Techno says.
It crosses Phil's mind to tell Techno to go 'hang out' somewhere else. But then he decides it probably isn't the end of the world to have the bunny hybrid nearby, in case Phil does need him unexpectedly. And unlike somebody such as Tommy, Techno hardly forms a distraction. He merely sits there, flicking his ear and watching Phil work. He doesn't even seem to be in the mood to talk.
How odd.
Phil ignores it, carrying on with his tasks. After about twenty minutes, the faint sound of snoring reaches his ears. He looks over, only to see that Techno has fallen asleep, bent over the desk, arms crossed and supporting his chin. He seems content, peaceful even.
Yeah, definitely odd.
But so long as he doesn't drool all over Philza's evil plans, he supposes it's not the worst thing to have some company.
2.
"When a rabbit hybrid nudges or lightly headbutts you, do not be alarmed! This is not an attack. Rather, it is a sign that they feel comfortable and safe in your presence and want to let you know."
After several years, Niki has more or less perfected the art of being out of the water that keeps her alive.
It was tricky at first. If she stays out of the river too long, she can dry up and get very sick. On the other hand, watching all her friends frolic around on the grass fields of the commune, building the town they would soon start to call home from the ground up… the fact that she couldn't be part of something so important made her sad.
Not that they didn't try to include her. Most of the commune has mer-friendly architecture by now and Niki can go to lots of places she couldn't have dreamt of visiting before because the waterways connect them. She can pop down (or is it up?) to the Pube whenever she wants to.
Yet she still practiced dragging herself ashore, onto the sandy riverbank or into the flower patches beyond. That sense of independence she gets at moving around without help on dry land is unique, important. Once she learns to deal with the clumsiness of her limp tail out of the water, she isn't half bad at it either.
And more importantly: on land, she can make flower crowns.
"There you go." Niki smiles as she drops the braided string of dandelions onto Techno's head. She had to braid them widely, so they would fall around his ears properly. The bunny hybrid reaches up to adjust them with one hand.
"Thanks."
Techno likes sitting in the shade of the oak trees near the river to read. Most people will leave him alone while he does that - you do not want to be the person interrupting Techno when he's about to reach a cliffhanger - but Niki likes to hang out with him. Sometimes they read together, though today she's picking flowers.
She continues to search the tall grass for more, flowers with a long stem are perfect for flower crown making though Niki would also like to take some back to decorate her floating markers. She put those up so the others can see where her base is. It makes her feel included.
Then she feels a small push against her arm.
Techno is already sitting back again by the time she looks over, eyes glancing away quickly. He seems a little ashamed, as if he didn't entirely do that by choice. Niki tilts her head in confusion but decides not to ask when Techno pulls the book in front of his face to avoid her gaze.
Maybe he was also trying to pick a flower and bumped into her by accident?
Except it happens two more times while Niki tries to continue.
"Are you okay, Techno?" she asks.
He raises an eyebrow, opens his mouth before closing it again and scrunching up his nose. "Uh, yeah. Are you? You haven't been on dry land too long, have you?"
Oh, could it be that Techno was trying to push her towards the river then? Not that it would make much sense. He could just pick her up, much more effective.
What else could the nudging be for though?
Niki flaps her tail, stretching it to the side. When she's out of the water too long, her skin gets itchy and her lungs hurt, as if it's hard to breathe. Neither is the case right now.
"I'm good," she says with a smile that she hopes relays that she's appreciative of his concern, if a little confused with how he expressed it.
Techno nods, leaning back against the tree and away from her, holding the book in his lap a bit more stiffly.
Niki shrugs and returns to making a matching flower crown for herself.
3.
"A rabbit hybrid might release a sound that can come across as strange to the uninformed. Do not worry if your rabbit friend ever makes a deep, low rumbling noise that emanates from their chest. They are purring, and it means they're happy to be near you."
Out of all the commoners living in the commune, Technoblade might be one of Ranboo's favorites.
She doesn't dislike any of the others, to be fair. While adjusting has been hard, Ranboo does pride herself in how well she fits in. She can do all the things these people do. Go on walks and have picnics in the spring and help people out when they ask her. She can, she really can! And they like her for it!
But Techno is extremely blunt. Ranboo appreciates this.
At the court, people used to lie a lot. Ranboo does know they have their upbringing to thank for their own ability to sell anything with a straight face. Because, yes, it does still come in handy. People around here ask a lot of stupid questions and do a lot of stupid things. Ranboo can convincingly smile and nod through it all.
Techno does not. Secretly, Ranboo likes him for it.
"And then he said he was going to sneak into Scott's library and steal the book anyway. Tommy and magic artifacts simply should not go together," Ranboo says with a solemn nod. "Though I'd still love to see how it turns out for him."
"It's a stupid plan," Techno answers.
Ranboo chuckles, hiding it behind a dainty little hand gesture. "Oh, he's quite set on it."
"He always is. Remember when he thought he could yoink Phil's crossbow?"
Ranboo might have learned to be polite to people's faces, that doesn't mean she can't enjoy a touch of gossip from time to time. As a mercenary, Techno knows everything that's happening around the commune. That's why she insists on having drinks together at least once a week, to turn the rumor mill.
Techno shrugs, taking a sip from his glass. The liquid inside is so orange it might be carrot juice. Ranboo never asked. "I don't want to be anywhere near Scott when that blows up in Tommy's face," the bunny hybrid adds. "Unless he pays me to intervene, I just want to stand on the sidelines and watch."
"You and me both." She stirs the spoon in her tea until the milk swirls in darkened liquid, then lifts the cup too. When she puts it to her lips, Ranboo stops. "Do you hear that?"
"Hear what?" Techno asks. However, as he does, the strange sound instantly stops.
Ranboo listens for a moment longer, letting out their own static little hum with how hard they're concentrating. But they can't find the noise again. It was like a deep rumbling sound.
Techno taps his foot against the floor. Besides that, there's only the silence around them with vague background noises, nothing unusual.
Ranboo clears their throat. "Never mind. I guess it was just the wind."
They talk deep into the night.
4.
"Those close to a bunny hybrid may expect them to try to groom their fur for them, a sign of fondness and dedication. If you lack fur, prepare to have your hair licked from time to time. This is normal enrichment and merely means your rabbit friend likes you!"
"I just need to get these ones to the top." Tubbo holds up the cables for Techno to take. "Think you can manage, big man?"
"Doesn't sound too hard," Techno says. "What's in it for me?"
Tubbo opens his jacket, revealing the three carrots sitting snugly in his inner pocket. "What do you think?"
Techno is off in a blink, launching himself to the top of the build with a single leap. Tubbo flinches out of the way before the tail end of the cable can hit him in the face. Geez, talk about patience. He adjusts his goggles onto his face and starts to fly up after.
Tubbo can gain height with ease if he's not carrying stuff, but the size of his delicate wings means the slightest amount of weight will leave him groundlocked. That's where having a friend such as Techno can come in handy. Tubbo is pretty certain the bunny hybrid would have helped him regardless, but the carrots are a courtesy gesture at this point. Tubbo doesn't like getting things without giving something else in return.
When he lands on the roof tiles, Techno hands the cables to him. Tubbo attaches them to the wind vane and barometer, then guides them through the little hole he prepared earlier.
"So what's this for, exactly?" Techno asks. He rarely shows any interest in Tubbo's trinkets, so it makes the bee hybrid beam up at him.
"It's a weather station. To predict the weather. I'm going to hook it up downstairs and then I'll be able to tell when there's a storm coming."
"You don't really need all this fancy stuff for that," Techno says evenly. "You can just look up." He points at the sky and Tubbo tilts his head back, just in time for a large drop of water to hit him in the nose. He curses loudly, loud enough to slightly drown out Techno's chuckle.
"Fuck!" Tubbo shakes his head to get rid of the water, though the rain is already picking up and he'll be soaked in seconds. This is just his luck. If his wings get wet, he won't even be able to glide down.
An arm loops around his middle and Tubbo barely squeaks in surprise when Techno easily lifts him off his feet. With another leap, they're at the cave next to Ranboo's base. It's quite a distance to cross with one jump. But as long as they're out of the rain, Tubbo won't complain.
Until something wet moves across his hair.
"Did you just fucking lick me?!" Tubbo says, caught somewhere between outrage and surprise.
"No." Techno drops him to the ground. So Tubbo has to peel himself off the stone floor with a glare. "That was probably just the rain."
Tubbo doesn't believe him. But Techno innocently turns away, flicking some water droplets from his fluffy tail. With the movement, the ax hanging from his hip stands out. And Tubbo values his life more than he values embarrassing Technoblade.
"Fine. Once I fix up the weather station, we'll know about the storm before it starts," he says pointedly, to save some of his reputation.
Techno smooths his hair out of his face and nods. "Imagine being incapacitated by a little water, couldn't be me." And that does make Tubbo laugh.
Together, they watch the storm move over the valley.
5.
"Rabbit hybrids rub their chin on items around their territory to mark them. They may even rub their chin on you, if you're lucky. Hey, no better way to tell somebody you love them than showing you want them to be around forever."
Tommy is not the sort of person to go down without a fight.
He's a big man, and very brave, not to mention incredibly clever and strong and amazing. He's also currently being chased by Technoblade with an ax, so he's getting the fuck away as fast as he can.
Sometimes not going down without a fight means you need to make a run for it. Sue him!
His wings flap urgently, giving him a tiny amount of extra momentum. Though he can already tell it's not enough, the wind moves behind him and he can hear the clean swoosh of Techno's body cutting through the air hot on his heels. That man is freakishly fast, it's really unfair.
Another sign of a good fighter: you gotta know when to give up.
Digging his heels into the ground, Tommy turns around seconds before a weight slams into him. His wings fluff out again, this time to catch the blow of his back hitting the ground. He rolls over twice, then comes to a stop on his stomach with Techno pinning him down.
"It's so annoying when they run," Techno mutters, seemingly more to himself than to Tommy. Tommy sticks out his tongue at him anyway, though it's not really as effective when Techno can't see his face.
He tries to squirm away, but Techno pushes his shoulders into the dirt.
"Where is it?" he asks.
"I don't have it," Tommy says.
"You're a terrible liar."
Techno leans down to reach into Tommy's bag, easily retrieving the stolen book. The poor avian squeaks loudly, feathers bristling. Fuck, it took him ages to steal that from Scott.
"How much is he paying you to get it back for him?" Tommy asks. "I can pay you more! I have carrots, so many of them."
He got them from Phil, actually. Or took them. Without asking.
Come to think of it, Tommy might have a kleptomania problem… it's not his fault the shinies are so appealing.
"A few hundred," Techno says, waiting. A mercenary with no morals, Techno would actually consider switching sides if Tommy can strike a deal. He's a real two-faced bastard like that. Tommy frowns.
"...Do you take anything other than carrots?"
Techno chuckles, tucking the book into his own satchel. "You know I don't."
Disgruntled, Tommy tries to kick him. It actually ends up being halfway successful, because his knee pulls up and throws Techno off balance. The sad thing is that it only makes the bunny hybrid fall down on top of him fully, chin hitting the soft spot between Tommy's shoulder blades that makes him hiss.
"What exactly were you trying to accomplish there?" Techno asks.
"Jerk," Tommy throws back at him, though it doesn't carry much heat when he's trying not to laugh.
He can feel Techno move, probably to get up. Except he doesn't leave and it feels more like Techno is dragging the back of his shirt around a little.
"Are you wiping your fucking snot on me or something?!" Tommy yells in disgust.
Techno quickly rolls off him, getting up onto his feet effortlessly. Tommy pushes up onto his knees, needing considerably longer to fold in his wings and stand upright.
"If you don't mind, I'm going to collect my payment." Techno waves at him before leaping off, more quickly than he usually would. And were Tommy's eyes deceiving him or was Techno's face weirdly red?
Or maybe he just hit his head harder than he thought when he fell.
With a sigh, Tommy decides to put it out of his mind so he can focus on the important stuff, like planning his next theft!
+1.
Out of all the bad qualities Techno possesses, he's willing to admit his lack of self-care is probably in the top three.
Right next to his stubborn nature, which also contributed to the current situation. If he actually bothered to get some rest when he first started to feel sick, he wouldn't be where he is now: with a cold that progressed into pneumonia. He only managed to hide it for a few days before Phil found out too. Embarrassing.
Now he's being forced to sit in the Pube while they go through the whole 'worrying' routine.
"What does the book say?" Niki asks, fingers pressing against the glass. But no matter how hard she tries, she can't get a peek at what Phil is reading.
"I'm trying to get there, calm down." Phil flicks pages rapidly, going past bee hybrids and blaze hybrids first before realizing the relevant entry would actually be in the R section. Scott keeps meticulous information on all sorts of hybrids, since they're so different. And apparently getting sick is all it takes for them to finally read up on rabbits.
"Get there faster, what if he drops dead while you're searching?!"
Techno winces slightly from Tommy yelling close to his ear. "If anything will kill me, it's your yelling. Sensitive hearing, remember?" He shifts in his chair, but Ranboo is already giving him a stern glare so he doesn't get up.
Maybe that's a good thing. The thought of trying to walk around makes him dizzy and Techno has been stifling coughs all day now.
"Here we go." Phil puts the book down on the table in front of them.
The others crowd around. Techno waits, raising a skeptical eyebrow at the display.
Maybe - in a weird way - it is a little nice. Before the commune, he traveled around a lot. Techno lost his warren at a very young age and never felt safe settling down anywhere else, so he was a fighter for hire wherever he went. Looking back, he didn't hate it completely but maybe he tended to be a little lonely. Having people who actually care for him…
Yeah, Techno thinks he can get used to that. Despite how clumsy he is at letting it show sometimes.
Tubbo's finger moves across the page until they finally find what they're after and he clears his throat. "If a rabbit hybrid gets sick, make sure to keep them warm and dry. Blankets are recommended. Encourage them to eat and drink plenty, as lethargy is a common sign of illness. Rabbits are comforted by the close proximity of their loved ones."
"I can get some tea and biscuits," Ranboo says instantly, teleporting away before anybody can interject.
"More than enough blankets lying around the guest rooms too." Tubbo leans back, wings thrilling behind him. "We can make a sort of nest, if that helps?"
Niki knocks her fist on the glass, pointing at a large settee set up right next to her tube. "Do it over here, on the couch!"
"That's really not necessary," Techno tries lamely. He's been sick before. Not quite this bad, but still. He can go to his burrow and curl up into a miserable heap and sleep this off. He'll be fine.
"Nonsense." Phil is already beside him, and when Techno is sitting down even somebody as short as The Crowfather can look menacing towering over him. Though the intimidation is undercut by Phil's pleasant smile. "Also, we don't want you to spread your germs everywhere."
"Pneumonia isn't contagious," Techno says. "I don't need you guys to drop everything to take care of me either."
"Do you need the pretty bundle of carrots I can get for your cooperation?" Phil asks.
Ah, playing it dirty. Techno can respect the hustle.
"Fine." He gets up on shaky legs to make his way over to the couch, ignoring Phil automatically reaching out to steady him if needed. Techno falls down onto the couch with a huff. "Happy now?"
"Immensely," Phil grins.
"We just want you to get better quickly," Niki says to his left. Techno looks up at her.
"Yeah, I know… thanks, I guess." Man, he's bad with words when it comes to stuff like this. He'll just have to hope they know he does truly appreciate it, no matter how much he struggles trying to express it.
"Wait, you weren't wiping your snot on me at all?! You were marking me!" Not being so close to Tommy when the younger boy is yelling is a relief, though not by much. Techno notices the avian has picked up the book and is scrutinizing it closer.
"I-" Techno splutters, some heat rising to his cheeks. He's interrupted by Tubbo throwing two pillows at his face when he returns to the room.
"Really? That would explain so much." A blanket follows, all bunched up as it hits Techno's chest. "Can you see if it says something about licking people in there?"
"I wasn't licking you," Techno says grumpily, ears pinned back in annoyance. "Your hair was a mess."
"Aw, Techno, that's sweet of you," Niki says. She sounds so sincere about it too.
That makes it a little better when Tommy starts to laugh like a maniac. "Rabbits purr? Please tell me this is accurate."
"It's not."
"It is," Ranboo says suddenly. Techno nearly flinches right off the couch when the enderman practically appears beside him. She puts some tea on the coffee table in front of him.
"I wanna hear it," Tommy insists.
Techno ignores him, pushing the pillows to the side and pulling the blanket over his head. It's not exactly a burrow, but it's good enough to hide away in. Phil chuckles at Techno's state of abashment.
Sadistic prick.
Maybe they do get to hear it though. Hours later, when it's them curled up on the couch together, Techno's head tipped to the side so it can rest on one of his friends' shoulders. Content, cared for, and more importantly, understood.