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"Young master..."
Alfred knew this would happen. He felt it in his old bones, a sixth sense that it had never failed him.
Jason was too much like Bruce. It was logical that it would happen.
But couldn't he at least be sixteen? Was Alfred asking too much?
The boy in question didn't seem guilty in the slightest. He lifted the child with him by the scruff of the neck, "This is Tim. He is a stalker."
"I'm not a stalker!" the child protested, trying to wriggle free but Jason's grip was much stronger.
“I was photographing the skyline!”
"Yeah, and I'm Peter Pan."
Bruce still had yet to say a word, just as confused as Alfred by everything. Especially because Robin had come with a child to the cave, revealing his and his father's identity.
Finally, Bruce said, "Robin, you brought a civilian into the cave."
"Yeah, so?"
"I don't have the cowl."
"Don't worry. He already knows."
How?! His charge merely raised a questioning eyebrow, but he didn't do much else. He was trying to be less harsh, to not scare his children away, as Alfred had told him.
Alfred himself had told him to change his attitude so as not to lose what remained of his relationship with Richard and not ruin the one with Jason. Bruce had listened to him but not really, because this was one of the cases where Bruce should be authoritative.
He had to take matters into his own hands, "Master Jason, you can't take a child from the streets. Your father is not a good example."
"Alfie, you don't understand. This little gremlin has been following us for months, and I only noticed because he forgot his camera flash tonight!"
"What?"
Jason continued, "Yeah after I found him, he tried to bite my hand and blackmail me."
"I didn't blackmail you!" the child protested.
"You said you had some photos that the Rouge would be interested in. What do you call this?"
The boy made an all too familiar pout, which made the butler break into a cold sweat because he had seen it for years when he told young Bruce that he couldn't hack into police computers, nor buy government passwords from Russian hackers.
“I call to convince the vigilante to let you go home and pretend nothing happened.”
Jason laughed, "No, gremlin, it's still blackmail."
"My father will hear about this!"
"Duh, your father is in Egypt, and you're not Draco Malfoy."
Jason then turned to Bruce, "This little guy is a menace to society. He's mean, sneaky, and could make Riddler and Penguin cry just by talking to them. Can we keep him?"
"Mhm..."
Alfred's eyes widened. He knew that expression. Bruce was thinking about it. He was thinking about keeping the stalker child who somehow knew his and Robin's identities. A child who still had a father, very much alive and very far away.
"Master Bruce, no."
"I didn't say anything," the man defended himself. As if Alfred didn't know him better than himself, "We won't keep the child that Master Jason found. He has a family."
"Yes! My parents are important people!"
Jason snorted, "They're in Egypt and they left you here. Whoever babysits you sucks since you're out at night following vigilantes."
Tim blinked, confused, "Babysitter?"
"Yeah, the one who takes care of you when your parents are away."
"Yes, she…she is sleeping! Maybe tomorrow morning…"
For God's sake. He was trying to deceive them. And he could very well do it if he had time, which Alfred didn't want to give him.
“Master Tim, if you gave me your home number now, would there be someone to answer?”
This silenced the boy. That was the answer enough. Bruce understood this too, "Well since it's late, you'll stay with us for tonight."
"So you're going to erase my memory?"
"Dude, no," Jason denied. "Why should we do this?"
"Because that would be the most logical thing! I know your secret! I'm a blackmailer! I could use your secret for personal gain!"
Dear God, he saw that level of paranoia every day. If he was like this at, what, nine years old, what would he be like as an adult?
Alfred feared he would live long enough to see it.
Jason, a good judge of character, dismissed him, "Nah, you won't, dwarf."
"I'm a normal height for my age! I read it on the internet!"
"Oh, well, if you read it on the internet we're good."
"Anyway, I could do it!"
"And put your heroes in danger?"
Tim hesitated, then bit his lip, "If I don't come home, I will."
"You don't want to stay a night here? With Batman and Robin? Or see the Batmobile up close?"
This last thing caught the boy's attention, "Would you let me use the Batcomputer?"
“Hell yeah, why not?”
“Then I guess I could stay for a night…”
Alfred will have to wait until the boy falls asleep to take samples to send to Leslie. There was no way that this child wasn't related to Bruce. He refused to consider it a possibility. And maybe he'll have to check on Jason too.
You know, just in case.