Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The train creaked and hissed as it stopped in front of them. Marinette couldn’t help but wince at the sudden noise while the dread caused by its arrival engulfed her stomach. The guilt and fear were pulsing through her now with every breath, and it took everything she had to keep going.

“Well, that noise was unpleasant,” Adrien, beside her, said with a chuckle. A bright, but wary smile was plastered on his face. As he turned to look at her, traffic picking up around them as people boarded the train, he seemed to pick up on her anxiety and reached for her luggage. He nuzzled the side of her face gently, golden strands sliding softly against her nose, and walked onto the train with both of their suitcases. “You coming, my love?”

“Y-yes,” Marinette replied, blushing. Even as the worries ran rampant in her brain, it was still being reduced to mush by her boyfriend. “Sorry- you didn’t have to get that,” she said, gesturing to her luggage in his left hand.

She didn’t give him time to respond, shaking her head and stepping forward to take it from him as they boarded. Their hands made contact, sending a wave of warmth through her that made her smile, only to brush his rings shortly after. This, unlike his hand, was cold. So cold it almost stung her.

The twin rings—so boring in appearance yet bearing such a complicated story. Looking at them made Marinette sick sometimes. This was one of those times. They were a reminder of the pain that Adrien wasn’t aware he had experienced. They were a reminder that her friend and now boyfriend had been suffering for years, and she hadn’t known. And they were a reminder of the lie she kept in not telling him about it.

Hopefully this trip will mend that last part.

The butterflies were starting to feel more like wildfire.

“Excuse me, model boy.” Marinette looked up in time to see someone shove their way past Adrien, and a different kind of fire ignited inside her.

“Sorr-” Adrien started, but before he could finish, Marinette finished moving next to him, putting herself in between him and the individual. With an arm around his waist, she maneuvered them into the nearest seats with their bags. She felt Adrien peer at her as she glared at the person, raising her eyebrows in a challenge as they lamely turned away and moved to the back of the train.

“What a loser,” she scoffed, frustrated.

When he didn’t respond immediately, Marinette looked up to find Adrien staring at her with the most touched and amused smile on his face, “You’re my knight in shining armor,” he said, sighing dramatically.

Her eyes narrowed as she fired back with a smirk, “A knight you seem to be swooning for.”

Adrien’s eyes widened as his whole face went red. He giggled as he looked at her in amazement, “I guess you could stay I’m at-track-ted to you, Marinette.”

A long pause followed.

“Was that supposed to be a pun about the train tracks?”

He looked so adorably proud, “Why, yes it was.”

Marinette put a hand over her mouth, eyes gleaming as she stifled a giggle. As Adrien’s personality continued to shine through to her, he made more and more puns. It always reminded her of Chat, and she felt a swell of emotion at maybe getting to introduce her partner to her boyfriend one day.

It’s been a while since she’d seen Chat. They had to skip patrol tonight because of Marinette’s departure and some commitment Chat had. She missed him, but Marinette knew she would see him soon. Despite no akumas, they kept up regular patrols and made time for each other. Chat remained steady as ever and unchanged, punning at her all the time—just like her Adrien was now.

Rolling her eyes, Marinette laid her head on Adrien’s shoulder, mentally preparing for the three-hour trip to London.

And…the anxiety was back—the reason they were even going to London.

“I still can’t believe Felix invited us over,” Adrien chuckled nervously.

She tried not to tense up at that—she really did. The shake in her shoulders was unmistakable, but Adrien didn’t notice. Either that or he pretended not to. “Yeah….”

“And with Kagami there too…Do you think he wants to go on a double date?”

Marinette sat up to look at Adrien. His small smile began to falter when he saw the nervousness in her eyes. She quickly put it back on to ward off his suspicions, “Yeah it’s so crazy,” she managed, playing with the strings of her purse, “I didn’t expect him to reach out, but he wanted to spend time with us.”

That seemed to do the trick, and Adrien sat back against their seat with a wistful expression on his face, “Honestly, I was a bit surprised to find out he and Kagami were together, but it makes so much sense! I think they’ll be good for each other.” He then turned a bit solemn, looking at the ground and then back at her, “He’s seemed unhappy or…on edge recently. I hope he’s doing better.”

Marinette couldn’t help the smile, but she bit her lip to keep from giggling.

Adrien still raised an eyebrow. “What?” he asked, leaning towards her.

“Just…” She reached over, putting her arm behind his shoulders, reaching her hand up into his hair, and pulling him down to her collar. “Just never change.”

-x-

Marinette wanted to nap on the train, since their morning was so early, but she didn’t sleep. She tried, but with Adrien’s hand in hers, she could feel every time his parents’ wedding bands rubbed up against her fingers. She just needed these lies to be over. Hopefully, Felix would cooperate.

-x-

“The 30^th floor???” Marinette gaped at the glowing button as Adrien pressed it.

“Hehe…yeah, it’s a penthouse.”

The elevator was incredibly fast, Marinette’s heart pulsing with every new floor. When it finally opened, they were faced with a large black door. The sight itself was enough to make Marinette falter as she came out of the elevator.

“You okay?” Adrien asked, turning to her as he walked ahead. His eyebrows were knit together and his lips slightly pursed, frowning.

“Y-yeah.” Marinette forced herself to walk forward, taking his hand, and with the other, tapping gently against the door. She approached and knocked all too quickly, afraid she would back out if she didn’t.

On the other side of the door, there were no creaks, no footsteps, no indications that someone was coming at all. Until suddenly, the door swung open to reveal Amelie—Felix’s mother.

She was surprised to say the least. “Adrien!” Adrien’s Aunt practically jumped onto him, wrapping him in a tender, yet aggressive hug.

“Aunt Amelie, it’s good to see you!” Adrien returned her hug with a hand at her back.

Despite her brightness, Amelie looked a little concerned once the hug had ended. She rubbed Adrien’s arms and then held his face as she said, “Oh, dear, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

Marinette wanted to throw up. Adrien was, understandably, lost at Amelie’s question. His smile faltered and she could see his gears turning, “Oh, I thought Felix-”

“Cousin?”

And there he was. The person Marinette’s been dreading for a week since she made this plan. He slowly walked up to them, confusion evident on his face. Marinette tried not to interpret this confusion as aggression. She just expected that from Felix at this point.

“What are you-”

“Felix!” Marinette waved as enthusiastically as she could muster, stepping out in front of Amelie and Adrien to face him. “It was so sweet of you to invite us over!” Her eyes frantically roamed his face, pleading.

A frown spread across Felix’s face, his eyes narrowing at her dangerously. In the most intense whisper she’s ever heard, he spoke, “What did you do?”

It was at that moment that the universe decided to show Marinette mercy. Kagami emerged from behind Felix and smiled brightly at the two new arrivals, “Oh, wow, this is such a wonderful surpr-” Kagami started, only to be stopped by a hand placed gently on her back—Felix’s hand.

Marinette watched as he took a deep breath. She scooted herself closer to Adrien and placed a hand on his arm, which was more for her comfort than his.

“Thank you both for coming,” Felix said finally, lifting his head. Marinette gasped.

“Yeah, I’m a little surprised you invited us, Felix, but I’m happy,” Adrien said beside her, still smiling.

Marinette felt so ashamed. She let her gaze fall to the floor. “Me too,” she said feebly. When she looked up, she found Felix staring right through her. Kagami regarded Felix for some explanation, but he provided none. He just continued to drill a hole into Marinette’s soul with his eyes.

“Felix, why didn’t you tell me they were coming?” Amelie asked, clearly out of the loop and feeling embarrassed.

“Apologies, Mother,” Felix said, “I was so caught up in my preparations that I foolishly forgot to inform you. My mistake.”

“Felix-” Kagami seemed to have regained her voice, and this was enough to tear Felix’s gaze away from Marinette. The reprieve was instantaneous.

“Let’s show them to my room,” he said, kissing his girlfriend’s hand and leading her inside with his arm.

Marinette lingered there as long as she could, hopefully giving Felix enough time to inform Kagami to play along. When Adrien grabbed her luggage again, she snapped out of it, snatching it from him and reciprocating the playful exchange.

The inside of the penthouse was all windows. Marinette quite literally could not notice anything else. It was all bright, filled to the brim with daylight and glass everywhere. Like Adrien’s mansion, it was opposite her home above the bakery. It all felt so cold and empty.

“Marinette,” Adrien called softly from beside her.

Her concern spiked. He sounded so…sad? She turned to look into his eyes, stepping closer, “Yes?”

“When we get a home together someday…” he started, and instantly she felt warmth pool inside her. She loved this game—loved when they talked about their somedays. “I want it to be colorful,” he explained. She smiled and nodded, urging him to continue, “I want real plants in the windowsill, a dog and cat running around, a messy couch covered in soft blankets and pillows, pictures of us and our friends, your art on the walls, and- and I want-I want-”

He faltered a bit. She watched as he suddenly looked concerned and confused. Like he was startled by his words—by his freedom to want. “You want…what?” She prompted gently, hand coming up to caress his cheek and get his attention again.

“I-I want imperfection. Just…everywhere.” It sounded forced out, but he said it, and she was proud of him.

“That sounds lovely. All of that.” Marinette gazed up at him—the one she loved—her future. He leant forward and rested his forehead against her's. They closed their eyes.

In that moment, they were there together—in their future house with the imperfections. Instead of silence, you could hear the whir of the oven, the squeak of a hamster wheel, the birds on the trees outside, and the soft mewls of a cat on the banister. It smelled like her parents’ bakery, where food is love. It was colorful and warm, soft furniture lit by candlelight. The food tasted so fresh, all of it grown in the backyard. It felt like healing.

The loud sound of someone clearing their throat broke the moment.

In sync, they both quickly turned to find Felix. He stood alone at the base of the staircase up to his room with his hands behind his back, unaware of the beautiful vision he had just interrupted. “Kagami is upstairs. She can show you where to put your belongings.”

They both gave a small smile and started gathering their things.

“Adrien can take them upstairs,” Felix followed suddenly, “Marinette you can help me bring up the refreshments.”

Though his movements slowed a little, Adrien didn’t question the orders for too long and gave her a knowing smirk before grabbing both suitcases, “Always on his terms…” he said quietly, before starting up the spiral staircase.

“Come,” Felix ordered, heading for the kitchen. Once Marinette had followed him in, he didn’t spare her a moment to take in the scenery, “What are you doing?”

“Oh- uh-” Somehow his accusations were enough to make Marinette trip over her words—something she’s not used to doing as often now.

“I played along with your little charade, and Adrien is upstairs sufficiently convinced I extended the invitation. Now what do you want?”

His voice echoed throughout the kitchen, clanging against metal appliances, and vibrating off the granite counter. Marinette took a deep breath, sitting on one of the many black velvet barstools so she didn’t give in to her shaking knees. These stools are ugly.

She was about to make a comment on the thought just to lighten the air, but by the time she looked up with a ready smile, she found Felix’s gaze piercing her again. Impatience was painted all over him. That and…nervousness?

“Felix, I- First of all, I’m sorry for showing up unannounced and stuff.” She started, laughing shakily.

“Apology accepted. What are you doing here?”

Apparently, there was absolutely no room for small talk. Marinette picked herself up and set her back straight.

“We came because…because I’m tired, Felix.” Finally, she allowed her anger and frustration to show through to him. She huffed, eyes closing and hands becoming fists. She knew Felix was a victim in all this too, but his blunt words and lack of consideration for Adrien’s feelings made her blood boil. She was fed up with him honestly. From his tampering with her fight against Monarch, to his multiple escapades disguising himself as Adrien. Marinette doesn’t think she will ever fully forgive him, and yet here she is asking for his help. The least the universe can do is allow her to be furious with him.

“If you’re here to take the peacock miraculous from me, you should not have come,” Felix whispered between gritted teeth, “You may be a Guardian, but you’re not mine.”

“I am your Guardian,” Marinette said sternly. She had to get that point across. “And no, that’s not what I’m here for.” Crossing her arms, she laughed, “You frolicking around in feathers is the least of my concerns right now.”

“Like spots are any better,” he quickly retorted.

That left her a little shaken. Felix knows her identity, and that, Marinette suspected, would always make her uncomfortable.

Noticing her hesitation, he seemed to back off a little, “Then what is it?” he asked—a lot gentler than his previous remarks.

That’s the big question isn’t it. Because Marinette isn’t sure of how she’s going to go about this. She is tired. She’s tired of lies. She’s tired of the pressure. She’s tired of Adrien’s suffering. She’s tired of her own suffering. Despite the fatigue, something truly beautiful has happened to her. She’s found the love of her life. But all her negative energy is seeping into the most pure and powerful relationship she has, and she needs it to end.

Desperate to reach Felix’s heart, Marinette speaks, “You’re going to help me tell Adrien that he’s a senti-being.”

Chapter Text

“Monster…”

“Monster!”

He was a monster. He just didn’t know why. What did that mean?

“Felix…you’re a monster…”

Right, but why? How?

“This is your fault.”

The illness—it was his fault. Felix didn’t question it. He watched his father (Colt Fathom) slowly perish, believing it was somehow his doing. It started with dizzy spells that would last hours. Then came the migraines. Felix could always tell when his dad had one—brows pinched, teeth sliding together, and mutterings under his breath, cursing his son. He would be angrier with a migraine. Felix learned to avoid him in those circumstances. Eventually, his father would pass out for hours, Amelie beside him trying to rouse him and keep Felix at bay. After that, there was less bite in his father’s words, not because he was gentler, but because he wasn’t healthy—half-hearted scolding through tired eyes and shouting in his direction that sounded out of breath. When his voice carried less power, Felix’s father started getting frustrated.

Felix remembered the first moment he felt it—a pinch in his brain followed by a vision of something silver.

The sound of something dropping to hardwood floor—something light, something metal. In the crack of the door to his father’s office, Felix had seen it. Colt Fathom’s ring rolled silently across the floor and stopped, finally laying down and resting in the sunlight. It shone so brightly; the gleam created by the sun going straight into Felix’s eyes. It left him in awe. He wanted a closer look. The ring seemed to want him too—faint whispers in his mind—but it was out of reach. Before he could even attempt to approach, his father had snatched it up from inside the room. 

If he’s going to throw something that beautiful around, he doesn’t deserve it, Felix thought. 

After that, Felix paid special attention to the ring. Occasionally, his father would notice, teasing him with quips like, “What, you want this? Foolish boy-”, “You’d be better off turning your gaze elsewhere, child”, and “It’s not yours—it never will be.”

For some reason, Felix felt his obsession over that ring growing, like seeing it finally gave him some strength he was missing. The feeling was addicting. 

Unfortunately, from where it was on his father’s finger, he couldn’t protect it. 

While playing with his toy cars one day, he had inquired about having a sibling—the biggest mistake of his life apparently—and Colt Fathom fumed. 

“You- you ungrateful, horrible child! Make more of you?? You wish for my death.” 

Felix didn’t understand that logic. It didn’t make sense—how his desire for a sibling somehow correlated to his father’s death. He didn’t ask for clarification, for his mouth was glued shut in fear. 

Instead, he turned around ashamed and continued rolling the small cars across the floor. One was a large, red monster truck and the other was a small, purple racecar. As his father muttered curses behind him in his armchair, Felix couldn’t help but wonder if the purple car was ever scared of the red one—it was so much bigger, after all. 

Once ignored, Colt Fathom would usually calm himself, yelling shifting to muttering, muttering replaced with harsh looks at the back of Felix’s head, and eventually, all of it dissipated, leaving tired silence. 

But this time, that didn’t happen.

This time, the cursing changed back into shouting, and Felix had never been more terrified. 

“How could you have done this to me? This is your fault!” his father bellowed, but when Felix turned around, he didn’t seem to be addressing his son, looking up to gaze somewhere beyond. Colt Fathom closed his eyes and grabbed at his dark, messy hair, shaking, and twitching from anger, “You’ve doomed me, Gabriel,” he almost sounded like he was crying. 

Gabriel? His cousin’s father.

His own father hunched over suddenly, arms coming up to his chest and staying there motionless. Then, from deep in his stomach came a quiet laugh. It sounded exhausted. It sounded evil. “So ungrateful,” he hissed. This time, when he lifted his head, he looked straight into Felix. 

Felix’s hands trembled and his lips quivered. He felt a sting behind his eyes and willed it to stop, “I’m sorry, Father,” he whispered. He felt so small. 

“You should be.” The words themselves, though expected, still cut Felix’s heart. He didn’t question them this time. He didn’t need to know why. He just let it all settle over him like a blanket you hide under when there are monsters under your bed. 

“You should be!!” Felix couldn’t help but gasp when his father shot up, the chair he sat on falling to the floor. The wooden panels creaked, and the walls seemed to shrink in on the two of them. Felix sent his cars rolling to the opposite side of the room in his haste to get up off the floor and run away from his father. He was like an animal in a cage, but if he could move farther away—farther into the cage—maybe he could get away. 

No animal escapes by moving further into their cage.

What happened next revealed the cage to be smaller than Felix could’ve imagined.

A grunt sounded—so vial and vicious that Felix had to look behind him as he ran, followed by the sight of a large, hairy fist hitting drywall, then the sickening crack of something breaking. Felix was frozen one moment and the next…

Suddenly, his vision was clouded by spurts of black, his limbs turned to jelly, making him fall to the floor, and deep in his chest settled the worst pain he’d ever experienced. He screamed—at least, he’s almost certain he did. Something inside him was burning, or crawling its way out of him, or tearing him in half. He couldn’t describe the feeling—like something had broken—like he was being broken. All he knew was that it hurt so bad.

He smacked the floor, head hitting shiny, expensive mahogany. He tried anything to stay conscious. He wiggled his toes and his fingers and did math problems in his head (he was good at those). Felix wasn’t safe here. His father was here. He had to get somewhere safe and stay awake. He focused his vision on his toy cars several feet away. In his head he recited their names, their colors, how fast they could go, and how heavy they were. The floor beneath him started to feel wet from his tears and his sweat. Realizing this made him sob more, gasping and whining as the clenching in his chest and the fogginess in his brain persisted. He wished he could reach his toys.

Felix could faintly make out some kind of commotion—far away mumbling wrapped up in blurry agony. His whimpers had turned into whispers of breath across his lips and the contorted features of his face were slack. He felt numb all over. All his limbs tingled, and his hands and feet were stuck like claws. Against his will, they remained motionless and tight.

His vision remained spotty, but he was awake. Awake enough to see the large black leather shoe and its owner come into his view. The panic returned, and he mentally tugged on his frozen limbs desperately.

“Oh, Felix…always… scene…” was all Felix could pick up on as Colt leaned forward and reached for him. Even from within Felix’s pain addled mind, his father sounded disappointed.

“Felix!” His mother—Amelie. He looked over to see her bursting into the room suddenly. She ran for him and pushed his father out of the way. He admired her bravery. She sounded out of breath as she got closer, like she had run from the other side of their penthouse, like she dropped everything to get here. She had even run here in heels. It made him want to cry more, but he couldn’t.

“My baby…” she cried for him when he couldn’t. She reached for him too—another thing he wanted but couldn’t ask for—and, in her arms, he instantly felt safer. The fabric of her black business suit was scratchy, but the grey scarf underneath was soft. She settled him in the crook of her arm where he could feel her still damp hair. Her eyes were beautiful even though one of them had fully completed eyeliner and the other one didn’t. They were also red and watery, but still so big and bright. With her pupils dilated, it seemed like she was holding the most precious thing in the world. He wished his father would look at him that way too.

The pain was pulsing now. Not progressing, not getting any better, but stagnant. Felix could deal with stagnant. He was so sweaty too, and maybe starting to shake—he couldn’t tell. He’d never been so afraid, but here, in his mother’s arms, he started to breathe again. His vision got darker.

Before losing himself to the void completely, his eyes found his father one last time. His fingers gently and meticulously combed his mustache as he stared at his son. There was no hint of remorse. With a small gasp and a shudder, Felix noted that his father’s ring…was cracked.

-x-

“No.” It was less an answer to Marinette’s question and more so a plea. Tell Adrien he’s a senti-being?? She was a fool.

“Felix-” Her voice wavered, and it sounded tired, like she expected this reaction from him. She sighed loudly enough for it to echo in the kitchen.

“No, absolutely not,” he said. He didn’t know where this desire of hers was coming from suddenly, but it had to be shut down quickly. He started to panic at how convoluted her plan was so far, and he had so many questions. She came all the way to London and managed to maintain the lie that himself and Kagami had invited them. She had it all planned out. She was careful. She was smart about everything.

That scared him.

“Please, Felix. He deserves to know,” she begged, stepping closer to him, and leaning forward—her hand had reached out a little. 

Instinctively drawing back, he spat, “Adrien is in ignorant bliss, and we are not about to destroy that.”

That made Marinette angry, “Adrien is being lied to, and when he finds out, he will be hurt.”

“When he finds out? I don’t intend on him finding out.” It came out of Felix’s mouth so fast, and he could tell his breathing had sped up. He needed to reign in his nerves or Ladybug would exploit the cracks in his composure. 

Ladybug or- Marinette.

His guard was up as if he was facing off with the spotted superhero, but it was his cousin’s beloved girlfriend standing in front of him right now. Knowing her identity—it’s messing with my head. 

“He’ll find out eventually. And you must realize that,” Marinette said sternly.

His eye twitched and he all but shouted, “Why even ask my opinion if you’re so intent on this?” 

“W-what?” He couldn’t tell what was in her head, but in her eyes, he saw guilt and fear. 

“Why not just tell him yourself?! You came all the way here to try and make me do it. I don’t think of you as a coward, so I don’t understand.”

Marinette’s jaw dropped and her eyebrows furrowed. The intensity in her eyes shifted. He’d touched a nerve- no- more like he’d pulled and snapped one. However, moments later, the fire morphed into despair. The bags under her eyes seemed to grow deeper. Unshed tears that had been building up for a long time glistened. “Marinette doesn’t know about it,” is all she said. 

It instantly clicked for him as it always does, but he wanted her to continue. He didn’t have a response to offer yet. 

“Only Ladybug knows about it,” she said, noticeably trying to hide the wobble in her tone, “And if I tell him as Ladybug-”

“He’ll know that Ladybug lied to him about the rings and about his father,” he finished for her. He crossed his arms and averted his gaze, thinking. Her plight made sense now. 

“No,” she just said. It was barely a whisper, floating up out of her and into the silent room.

It startled him—being wrong—and he knew it was obvious from his face. His body had even jolted a little bit. Mentally reprimanding himself and embarrassed, he just waited. 

Marinette raised her eyes to the ceiling. She then brought her hands together and clasped them, methodically squeezing as if she was trying to comfort herself. She took a deep breath, “That is true. He would know Ladybug had lied, and he might hate her for that, which would make me sad, but- but there’s something else.”

Felix was on the edge of his seat at this point. Marinette was so horribly and wonderfully unpredictable.

“If I come to him as Ladybug…he may not tell Marinette about it.”

Felix’s brain stuttered a bit, “Huh?”

Marinette finally looked at him again, and he shivered. “Adrien may keep it from me—Marinette me—and I wouldn’t be able to comfort him, even though…I know everything.”

A long minute passed, where no one said anything. Felix could almost hear invisible cogs creaking and groaning with exertion in his own head.

After coming up with nothing to say, he had to stifle a laugh—not because the situation was laughable, but because it so tragically wasn’t. Talking to Marinette was almost entertaining. Her brain operated on “what-if’s” and thrived in analyzing the complexities of the world around her. Felix’s brain was absolute. It saw what was and what wasn’t, and it was fueled by situational logic. But there was also something else. Marinette’s brain was selfless, Felix realized. And his was selfish. That made him laugh.

“What is so funny?” There was no anger there—she just sounded like she was about to cry.

“So,” he started with a small smile, recovering from his little fit and ignoring the question, “You want me to tell the both of you, so it looks like you’re finding out for the first time as well, and he can seek solace in you as a partner.”

She looked almost relieved at his understanding, “Yes.”

He still had one last question. Well- two. The first question was: is he feeling bold? If yes, he could ask the second question.

A shuffling upstairs reminded him of their significant others—safely tucked away in Felix’s room, but it might not stay that way for long. He looked back at Marinette—really looked at her. She seemed confused but didn’t comment and let him process. She was sweating slightly, and her lip was bitten raw. He tried not to think too much about it. Instead…he decided he was brave enough.

“Why not tell just him…you’re Ladybug?”

Marinette physically recoiled. Her head shook a little and she raised her eyebrows as if to question if he was serious or not. Apparently, it was her turn to immediately deny him, “That can’t happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because the last time- Everything was- It just can’t happen.” She seemed on the verge of panic.

“The last time?” He slithered towards her with quick steps. “What do you mean?”

She put a hand on his chest, stopping him from coming any closer. Her face shuttered and hardened, eyes searching him menacingly for just a moment, “Just because you know about me, does not mean you’re entitled to know everything. I can’t tell him I’m Ladybug, and you’re going to have to make peace with not knowing why.”

Her words stung immediately, and in moments, her touch was burning him. He backed off. Marinette’s lack of cooperation gave him a headache and was beyond frustrating. He was just about done with this conversation. The sound of a door opening upstairs was all he needed to make his leave.

Felix made for the kitchen exit with quick strides, brushing past Marinette as he did so.

“Is that a ‘maybe’?” Marinette spoke from behind him—a lot stronger than he expected.

He wanted to deny her immediately, but something in him tugged and he couldn’t. In place of a ‘no’ he whipped around and with animated gestures said, “It’s an ‘I’m going back upstairs, and you’re going to pour glasses of water and bring them up with you,’” and with that, he left, trying not to look at her face.

As he sped towards the staircase, he tried to control his heavy breaths. He fiddled with the buttons on his shirt and tried to chase away what lingered of that conversation.

“Felix? Where’s Marinette?” A worried voice—Adrien’s voice—sounded above him. On the second floor, at the banister hanging over the penthouse entryway, Adrien and Kagami looked over at him concerned.

“She’s kindly getting our drinks,” he said simply, taking a deep breath and beginning to climb the spiral of thin stairs up to them.

“I’m going to go help her.” Adrien had a look of determination on his face like he was going to save the world or something. Felix rolled his eyes as his cousin passed him.

Once he got to the top of the stairs and walked over to the rail, Adrien had made it into the kitchen, and Felix was left alone with the only person whose presence he actually wanted.

“Are you alright?” Kagami asked him. Because of course she did. She was so beautifully considerate.

“My stomach hurts,” he said honestly, after some assessment. He continued to surprise himself with how truthful he spoke with his girlfriend. It was pleasant. 

“Perhaps you should eat a banana—a natural antacid—or a pickle—for the vinegar. They help cure stomach aches,” she said. Kagami was a genius. Felix admired her for that more than he could express. 

“That’s a wonderful idea,” he started. Feeling shy, he touched his fingertips together and hunched his shoulders, “But, that would imply I have a physical ailment,” he said, thinking for a moment, “This feels more…mental.”

Kagami’s mouth fell open a little bit, and she proceeded to search for something in his face. The concern in her eyes was subtle, but it was present. After mulling something over for a moment, she started blushing, which made Felix blush as well, though he wasn’t certain what she was thinking. She had come to some conclusion, and he couldn’t be more curious. 

“Then-then how about…a hug?” She ventured, looking at him so earnestly. 

All the air rushed out of him, and Felix felt a small smile take over his face as he looked away from her. He played with his ring. “I-I would like that, yes.”

They both hesitated a moment, but Kagami soon reached out with confidence and gently wound her arms around his waist. He held her around her back and shoulders quickly after. Content, they stayed there.

She was warm—that was the first thing Felix noticed. He sank into her energy, gratefully, feeling like she might just understand. 

-x-

Apparently, Adrien had made himself more useful than Felix expected. He and Kagami had spent the whole time Felix and Marinette were in the kitchen inflating and positioning a giant air mattress by the window in his room. It was already decorated with several pink pillows and a and a couple large blue blankets. Their bags were tucked neatly next to it. It seemed Adrien and claimed it for him and Marinette, but Felix originally intended for Kagami to use it-

It suddenly occurred to him that with Adrien and Marinette using the only air mattress, both couples would be…sharing beds. He gulped and fiddled with his fingers again. When he side-eyed his girlfriend he noted that she was also fidgeting with her hands and feet.

“I hope…this is okay,” she ventured, not looking at him. Felix was incredibly thankful that they had privacy for the moment—Marinette and Adrien were still down in the kitchen fetching the drinks.

“It will have to do,” he said with a shaky laugh. This made Kagami deflate a little and he quickly attempted to mend it, “We seem to have limited options, but I’m not unhappy about the situation.”

Kagami perked up instantly, though she barely moved. In the excited silence that followed, she reached down and took his hand. Fingers softly intertwined together, and palms met securely. He felt her pull.

Now face to face, he scanned her features, looking for any signs of distress—there were none—only…joy. His inner child could hardly fathom someone looking at him like this. In his wildest dreams he was cherished, treasured, and loved. Being with Kagami felt like one of those dreams. He had to keep reminding himself that reality was sweeter now. Slowly, but with a sureness he’d never experienced, he grabbed her other hand and raised them both to his lips, planting a kiss there and arching one eyebrow. Her mouth fell open slightly and she seemed like she stopped breathing. Felix took a deep breath as he stepped closer to try and coax her to do the same—she did.

It felt like there was a magic aura encapsulating them. Felix blamed Kagami for putting a spell on him, but quite honestly, would not change anything. He almost wished he was scared at how elated he felt. But he couldn’t when she held his gaze and hands so tenderly. He found himself leaning in almost on instinct, and soon her breath began to tickle his face. The moment was like time stopping. The moment was an overflowing of warmth in his Felix’s heart. It was like it was only them in the whole universe-

“DAW! Look at how cute they are!”

Felix’s neck just about snapped as he turned to the side and jumped back from Kagami. The back of his legs hit his coffee table and just about toppled over on it. Panting and grasping at his balance, he tried to regain his senses. Adrien was practically bouncing with excitement in the entrance of Felix’s room, holding a tray full of fruit, cheese, crackers, and little cookies. His eyes almost glittered. They were dulled only by the embarrassment of his outburst.

Marinette was next to him, learning against the doorframe. She looked so smug, with barely contained laughter leaking from her lips. Her tray was balanced on one hand, holding up four glasses of water with ice and lemon. The other hand came up to her face in front of her mouth, trying to hide nothing but amusement.

“You interrupted, Adrien,” Kagami said honestly. Unlike her boyfriend, Kagami remained where she stood, almost entirely unphased. Her statement only sent Felix spiraling further into flustered panic.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to ruin it!” Adrien looked incredibly embarrassed, but still not as regretful as Felix would’ve liked.

Kagami smiled softly as she went over to help him carry in the goodies, “You’re forgiven. Next time, contain your outburst until we’ve finished, or-”

Felix’s face was hot and bursting as Marinette started cackling. Rushing in and handing over her tray to Felix, she barely managed, “H-here b-before I…before I drop them HAHAHA!” After that, she scurried off to her luggage and busied herself with unpacking while she remained snickering. Apparently, the one-bed situation for her and her partner had yet to settle in.

Irritated, Felix turned away from her and back towards Adrien and Kagami. They carefully placed the snacks on Felix’s coffee table and sat on the cushions next to it. He met Adrien’s eyes.

His cousin was smiling—beaming. Felix didn’t understand what he was so happy about, but beneath the surface, there was something restless—something tired. Felix felt his eyebrows furrowing against his will, and he almost asked. Almost.

“You, okay, Felix?” Okay, well, apparently Adrien was going to ask. How annoying.

“Yes, of course, I’m f-”

“He’s just pissy he didn’t get to kiss his girlfriend.” Marinette, making her way over from the bed, grabbed a glass of water from the tray Felix was now carrying and jumped into the same beanbag as her boyfriend. Making fun of Felix seemed to give her confidence because, while Adrien blushed, she just sunk into the soft folds of the chair and into him as if she’d done it a million times.          

-x-

The rest of the evening was long and awkward. However, Kagami was doing well at keeping up the lie that Marinette and Adrien had been invited here—that her and Marinette had collaborated on a joint effort to get the four of them together and had eventually convinced Felix. Felix pretended he had been persuaded by them both and requested that Marinette and Adrien come.

There was a hint of something in Adrien’s eyes as they told these stories. It flickered in front of Felix quite a few times, but he could never fully grasp what his cousin was thinking. Imitating Adrien’s body language, way of talking, mannerisms, and voice had always been easy, but truthfully, Felix had no idea what was going on in his head. Adrien’s walls were too high—built meticulously stone by stone out of fake happiness.

Sharing a bed with Adrien eventually registered to Marinette, and this realization ended with a cup’s worth of water as well as a slice of lemon on Felix’s bedroom carpet. And, despite spending the whole night teasing him, she profusely apologized and attempted to soak up the water with napkins. Adrien helped her and kept assuring her that “it was just water”. Even when Marinette screwed up, Adrien looked at his girlfriend like she was the moon circling his world. Felix couldn’t tell if he was envious, disgusted, or relieved that Adrien finally had someone who gave as much love to him as he gave to other people. Whatever the answer was, he didn’t want to look at the sight of them anymore, which was a problem considering, of course, they were staying the night. And, of course, they had the whole “double date” lie planned for tomorrow.

Frustrated, and a bit sad that his private weekend with Kagami had been essentially ruined, Felix stomped over to his bed and lay down in one fluid motion. He blushed hard at Kagami climbing in next to him, but desperately clung to his anger at Adrien and Marinette and tried not to show how weak Kagami made him.

“Goodnight, Kagami. Goodnight, Felix,” Adrien called gently from across the room on their air mattress.

Felix said nothing in response. He turned towards the wall and his girlfriend as his scowl deepened. As a beautiful surprise, like the tickle of a feather, a warm hand found his shoulder in the dim light and began stroking in slow patterns.

“Goodnight, you two. Get some rest,” Kagami replied, beside him. She was still sitting up in bed, looking over at their guests. She didn’t look tired—just content. Felix realized with some guilt that Kagami was probably happy about this—all the people she cared about the most were in the same room. He should be happy with her…or at least for her, but he wasn’t.

Tears prickled at the corner of his eyes at Kagami’s kindness. He was being a bit unreasonable and unfair to allow her to carry him through this unpredicted situation. She was exceedingly patient, persistent, and adaptable. Something he claimed to be as well, however for him, it often came with bouts of irritability and reservation.

Her patience was appreciated. He needed to let her know.

Probably a little more urgent than necessary, judging by the fact that she jumped, Felix placed his hand around Kagami’s where it lay on his shoulder and squeezed.

She gaped and peered at him from above. Her hand stopped its ministrations and gripped him a bit harder—a bit desperately.

“Thank you,” Felix started, carefully, “You’re doing so well.”

She released a breath she’d apparently been holding and chuckled fondly. Tilting her head and smiling, she moved her hand to his hair. She took a moment to smooth the strands on the side of his face that weren’t pressed into his pillow. Like a tide caressing sand, she parted the pieces and played with them until they eventually fell back into place, messy and smooth.

“Felix,” she whispered. She was probably quiet so that the others wouldn’t hear, but something in her voice made it seem like a whisper was all she could manage. “I care about you. A lot. You’re allowed to be overwhelmed. Relationships are not always an equal division of effort.”

All Felix could do was stare and beg her to continue with his eyes. Her whole being was radiant in the moonlight as it came through the window.

“There are going to be times when you need my assistance, and it is my responsibility as your girlfriend to respond in kind, and ease some of your burdens with my companionship.” She looked shy as she lowered herself down to the bed to lay down next to Felix. She tucked her hands to her chest and played with her bottom lip by rubbing it between two fingers. “My companionship and…and my love.”

It was almost an “I love you”. It was so close. Of course, there are all different kinds of love. Familial, platonic, romantic, and anyone who’d received any kind of love from Kagami was beyond fortunate. Felix yearned for the day that romantic professions of love could frequently pass between them. Perhaps, that day was soon.

“I’m grateful.”

-x-

Predictably, sleep did not come to him. He was too conscious of the high-quality, air-filled, tempur-pedic mattress on the other side of his room as well as the two nuisances sleeping on it. One of them was an ex-enemy ladybug-themed superhero, and the other one was an oblivious and horribly optimistic son of his dead enemy. While everyone else around him slept soundly, Felix’s mind was muddled and anxious.

In truth, Adrien made Felix feel guilty. That sensation conflicted with his internal righteousness, and it caused him to feel restless anytime he was around his cousin.

Sighing loudly, he rolled over and repositioned his pillow with a small thump. Once his small show of frustration was finished, his eyes flicked up only to lock on to Marinette’s piercing blue ones across the room.

Bolting upright and furrowing his brow was instinctual. In that moment, his breathing picked up too. Marinette was still but looked at him sadly once she had noted his reaction.

He regained himself enough to sit up all the way and lean back against his headboard before taking a deep breath and asking, “What?” He snuck side-eyed looks at her.

Marinette’s eyes were so sad. She kept stealing glances at the moon as she tried to formulate words. She pursed her lips, looked at Adrien, fixed his hair, bit her nails, and sniffed. It was minutes before she finally spoke to him. When she did, she sounded broken, her voice cracking, transitioning from whisper to full tones in jittering waves, “What can I do to convince you, Felix?”

This again. “Nothing,” Felix stated. He wouldn’t bend. He couldn’t bend.

She didn’t respond to that, seemingly not deciding where to look between him and the moon outside.

The lack of response unsettled him, and he kept going, “I admire you for your tenacity. You remind me of myself in that regard. You’ll do anything to get what you want. But, unfortunately, this time, what you want is not what I want.”

It was at that moment that Adrien stirred, shifting beneath the heavy blue blanket, and whimpering slightly. In his sleep, he looked unsettled.

A still and emotionless Marinette was suddenly animated once again, gently shifting forward towards him, concerned. She put one hand on his stomach and the other in his hair. Her thumb rubbed over the furrow in his brow, smoothing it and relaxing him. He didn’t wake up—just fell back into natural peace and became quiet again. The silence he left behind only lingered for a second.

“What about what Adrien wants?”

Her eyes bore into him more than they ever had before. Felix had the sense to scoff and attempt to glare in resistance. “That doesn’t matter.” He didn’t mean for his voice to crack.

That made her eyes fill with water, “But you wanted-”

“I know,” he looked away from her. Marinette’s tears were too much, and it was annoying. All of this was so annoying. “I can’t begin to explain to you the depths of my decision. Yes, all senti-beings deserve to be free. And in accordance with that, Adrien deserves to be free to live a normal life—a life without the burden of this knowledge. He’s no monster and he doesn’t deserve to feel like one. The history you want me to expose is pointless. It would only do harm. He is free. He is blessed with not knowing. He is loved. He is loved by you, despite you knowing about all of it. He is free. He is free. He is free. I will not imprison him again by tainting his life with this sickening awareness of how he came to be.”

He had rambled, and that was humiliating, but his point had been made. Marinette was shaking slightly after his speech, and she didn’t blink. But after a time, she looked away and just laid back down. However, it didn’t feel like she gave up—more like she let Felix win the battle, knowing she would win the war. She scooted close to Adrien and wound her arm around him, closing her eyes and saying nothing else.

A tear Felix hadn’t felt slid down his cheek. He rubbed his thumb across the silver ring on his finger—its surface smooth.

Chapter Text

The color white always made Adrien uncomfortable. White house, white stairs, white pillars. White business suit, slicked white hair, white gloves. White cat ears, white bell, white mask. White walls, white walls, white walls. White walls closing in.

He tried to tell himself he was safe, breathing easy with the help of an alliance ring. The nightmarish Chat Noir was gone from his mind for now. But, in his place, he saw white walls, and was stuck laying on a white bed, listening to AI that wore all white and looked just like him. 

He was completely numb, but from within the depths of his trans, he wished he could go back to his friends in Paris, where life was colorful, and he had people who loved him. Marinette was there. His girlfriend was pink and blue, warm and cool tones mixing together to create a palette of playfulness and peace. He needed that, especially now, from within this cold place that could rival the mansion in its solitude. He almost felt silly for missing her touch, when he was the one who had to leave. He wanted her hands in his hair and on his face. He wanted to look into her eyes and see that he was truly wanted—truly loved. Marinette became home so quickly. He hoped she felt the same. He refocused on the alliance. The little Adrien emanating from his finger was saying something to him. He could hear it just fine, but the emptiness that had settled in his soul stunted his comprehension. He never felt empty with Marinette. From within his artificial daydream, his cage was blurry, and he could pretend the white walls weren’t there. He could pretend Marinette was there instead. 

Some time passed until, out of the corner of his eye, he saw tiny little bugs sparkling and fluttering into the room. He thought it was another hallucination. Another illusion from his alliance. Another lie. But they stayed, and he watched them dance. Like a river, they swirled across the floor and flowed towards him. He felt himself be wrapped up in magic, and suddenly the agonizing numbness dissipated, leaving a more agonizing sense of reality in its place. 

The Miraculous Ladybug, Adrien concluded as he blinked and finally looked away from his alliance screen. She did it.

The world was still burry, and he laid there confused for a moment, until he felt the moisture collecting in his eyes. One wipe at them, and everything was clear again. He jolted, the panic settling in. The ring was still spewing nonsense, and Adrien quickly yanked it off his finger and threw it—with a shaking arm—across the room. He needed to get out. Now that the akuma was gone, there had to be a way out. His limbs felt weak and tingly as he tried to sit up. His head was pounding too. It was like he could still hear his own digital voice speaking at him with every pulse. He finally made it to sitting position and tried to take deep breaths—in through your nose, out through your mouth. He could barely feel it as he swung his legs over the side of his hard bed. Adrien reasoned that standing wasn’t in the cards yet. He didn’t feel numb anymore, but everything hurt. He didn’t know what to do. He was tired, cold, hungry, thirsty, and needed to get up and get out of here so badly. Deciding which crisis to deal with first seemed impossible.

It was getting harder and harder to breathe.

“Plagg?” he rasped. His voice didn’t even sound familiar. It was deep and hoarse from disuse, like he had been choking. He cleared it slowly, eyes darting to the camera in the room before whispering again carefully, “Plagg?...Plagg are you here?”

Still, nothing moved in the tiny room.

Breathe.

“Father??” He tried. His father was somewhere, behind the camera. He had to be able to hear Adrien, “Father, please, let me out!”

He knew he was breathing too fast, but he couldn’t stop. How does it go again? Five things you can hear? Adrien reached desperately for the memory of the technique, I hear my breathing, the alliance ring across the room, some kind of weird buzzing from the camera…nothing, and nothing. He whimpered, frustrated, as he struggled to grasp calming thoughts, Four things you can see. My shoes, the ring, my white bed, the white wall, another white wall, and more white, just white- It wasn’t working.

“Plagg?? Father!” he all but screeched, growing desperate, “Natalie?...” He clutched his stomach. It hurt so bad. He needed food, he needed water, he needed- “Anyone?!”

His body was moving of its own accord as he suddenly pushed himself off the bed and ran towards the door. He tripped halfway there. His head hit linoleum, but he got right back up, pounding the floor with his feet as he recovered and falling against the exit when he finally made it there. He managed to reach up an arm and bang it against the metal there. He heard himself crying more than he felt it.

“Please…” his voice pitifully cracked, and it left him coughing a little.

On the other side of the door, was Marinette, on the other side was Plagg, outside were Nino and Alya and the rest of his friends, on the other side of the door was-

“Cataclysm!!!” He heard someone shout, and the familiarity of it instantly gave him too much hope.

The world rumbled under his fingertips, and an abrasion was suddenly in front of him—a large, black gaping hole that continued to crumble and hiss as it spread under his hands, where they were pressed against the door. White turned black, flaking, and breaking away. 

He stumbled to the center of the room with a gasp. It took everything he had to stay standing.

“Adrien…?” They tentatively called out to him. He dared to dream it was her.

The smog left by the cataclysm was thick. It clung to the air and hung there like a web, but soon enough, he watched as her hands clawed through it, and there she was—Ladybug—well, he thought it was Ladybug, but she looked different. She had ears—silky black cat ears lined in lime green. Her hair was in long, pigtail braids that just about came down to her feet, and among her black ladybug spots were bright green ones on her shoulders and legs. Her suit had a unique pattern on it too, like the red and black had gracefully made room for the black and green. And her eyes—pupils haloed by the same green and small black accents. They looked shimmery and wide as they finally met his. Her mask around them creased in concern—the same mask of the ladybug he had known for almost a year. She looked…so cool.

He tried to say something to her, but nothing came out—just a tired huff. Her black spots weren’t the only spots in the room anymore.

“Adr-” she started to say, but interrupted herself as she sucked in a harsh breath and rushed forward, barreling towards him.

She caught him by wrapping both arms around his waist even before he registered his knees buckling. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision but was unsuccessful. He just closed his eyes and went back to focusing on his breathing instead because apparently, it had gotten out of hand. Ladybug lowered them both to the floor and started adjusting her grip. Adrien tried to help but could only wiggle his legs weakly as she sat down. Her hand came up behind his neck, supporting his head as she gently tilted him back and maneuvered him into her lap. She draped her right arm over his stomach and slid her left one under his head where her hand was.

For a moment he just let himself exist in the darkness and in her arms before a tickle in his throat made him cough and blink at her. The fit didn’t last long, and once it passed, he slid his eyes open fully, adjusting to the brightness again as his vision returned. He was draped by her braids and shielded from the fluorescent lighting by her cat ears. Her eyes were frantically searching all over him as her mouth opened and closed. Every once and a while her hand would shift and pat him on his side or his stomach as if looking for a physical injury. She looked so worried, and it warmed his heart at the same time that it made him want to quell her worries and tell her, everything is okay now. He truly believed it. Eventually, Ladybug looked back at him, and he saw the moment when she realized he would be alright. He didn’t know anything that happened during the akuma fight. Adrien wondered if she was seeing him or Chat Noir right now—if Plagg revealed something to her during the battle. After all, how did Ladybug know that he was here? For now, he only had the energy to wonder.

Ladybug placed her hand on his cheek, sighing as she did it. The hand was cold, smooth, and covered by latex. The warm gesture was welcomed, and Adrien leaned into it. It felt like evening patrol, ice cream after a long akuma fight, like getting tied up in yo-yo string, and like games of tag on the Eiffel Tower. The way she cupped his face though, and stroked her thumb across the bone there, felt like how Marinette held him. It made tears fall, though his face remained slack. 

“Shhhh, it’s okay. It will be okay, Adrien, I promise. You’re okay,” She sounded like she was about to cry too. In addition to his cheek, she started stroking his hair too—just like Marinette did. 

“Marinette-” he forced out, but throat closed again, resulting in a cough.

Ladybug froze, and her ministrations paused. Her voice hardened a little when she spoke next, “No…Not Marinette...Not yet. You’ll see her soon. I promise.”

“No-” he said quickly, gripping her arm that had started to retreat, “I know you’re Ladybug-” Once again he couldn’t finish.

She rubbed his arm in encouragement, “Yes, Ladybug- well, Bug Noir actually,” she said with a wink, obviously trying to cheer him up, “But, yes, Ladybug.”

“Bug Noir…” He smiled back despite everything else running through his head, “Sorry- It’s just…Marinette she- she’s my girlfriend. Is she okay? I don’t know if she’s okay.” He sounded desperate by the end of that. Adrien didn’t care.

Ladybug’s features softened again, “Oh…” she smiled and tightened her grip a little, “She’s okay. I promise.” Her eyes shone with something—happiness? But then, she frowned, “Are you okay, Adrien?”

Having her call him “Adrien” was a little jarring. He always felt like Chat around her. He swallowed, trying to clear his throat so he could form coherent sentences this time, “I…I have so many questions.”

“I know,” she rocked him a little, “I know you must be really confused, and I have a lot to tell you, but right now…you don’t look well. What can I do?”

“Umm, I’m hungry,” he blurted, which was slightly embarrassing. Only Chat Noir was that direct with people, and he was Adrien in this moment, which tainted some kind of image that his father protected at all costs—that Adrien tried not to care about right now.

“Yeah, you look…peaky…Oh!” Ladybug jumped a little and frantically started to lift him. She rushed him over to his bed, where she could lean him up against it, with him still sitting on the floor. She slowly extracted her arms, watching him like he was a feather about to float away, “Okay…I’m going to need you to close your eyes.”

Understanding immediately where she was going with this, he reached up a shaking hand and pressed it into his eyes hard. He wasn’t going to accidentally see her if he could help it.

Immediately he felt her step back from him, “Tikki, Plagg, divide! Spots off!”

Wow, she’s incredible. She fused their miraculous together. He wondered if he could praise her and have it not be suspicious that Adrien understood how amazing that was.

“Oof, I’m beat! And starving…” Plagg.

“Hush, you’ll be fed eventually just be patient and let her take care of this.” Tikki.

He shoved his hand further into his face. The sound of his kwami made Adrien want to cry and jump for his friend. He needed Plagg’s comfort right now—even if he wasn’t always the most optimistic—but he had to wait. He heard Ladybug unclasp something—probably a bag of some kind—and shuffle around a bit, “Where is it…Oh there! Got it.” Something clicked again and she spoke, “Spots on!”

When he opened his eyes, his partner was back in the suit he knew well. It would always be his favorite, though Bug Noir was a great look for sure. Plagg was there too, and he instantly felt the moisture in his gaze as he made eye contact with his companion.

“Here,” as Ladybug said it, she grabbed his attention by thrusting a large and scrumptious-looking cookie towards him, “Eat, please. I promise I’ll get you something better soon, but hopefully this will help.”

He slowly reached out and took the treat, drooling already. It looked like the ones Marinette’s parents made at the bakery, “Thank you so much,” he said as he started digging in immediately.

“Please, there’s no need to thank me. It’s the least I can do,” Ladybug blushed despite herself as she watched him eat, “Besides, I don’t need them anymore. Chat Noir and I can transform without having to recharge our kwamis.”

He waited to respond until he finished chewing his current bite, “Hmm so what you’re saying is…you guys leveled up!”

She giggled at that and rolled her eyes, “I guess you could say that.”

Ladybug fiddled with the cat miraculous—his miraculous—as he finished the cookie. He found Plagg again next to her, and his kwami was looking at him with worry. Adrien gave him a small smile to try and calm him, but it didn’t seem to work. The need to ask about everything that had happened during the fight was becoming unignorable. Ladybug beat him to it, though.

“What was he doing to you?” she sounded furious—just not at Adrien.

“What-”

“Your father,” her eyes were piercing as she looked up, “What is this place? Did he hurt you?”

Did his father hurt him? Yes. Was it a problem in this moment? No. Did Adrien want to tell her the truth? … So, he just stared blankly at his partner, gaping like a fish. Ladybug’s face, however, was tight, harshly creased by concern. 

“He trapped me here,” Adrien blurted. He instantly averted his eyes and pulled his knees closer, “I…don’t like to be locked up.” He smiled, remembering the first time he told her that, but she didn’t—she just looked angry.

“I know. I’m so sorry,” She looked around the room, her nose crinkling and breaths coming out quickly, “Why??”

“Huh…?”

“Just- just why? Why did he do this? I don’t understand.”

Adrien shifted uncomfortably. His ring finger felt so empty. “He was testing the alliance rings.”

This got her attention again as she snapped back to him. Ladybug said nothing, though, so he kept talking.

“I- I don’t know what he wanted. He was almost trying to profit off the akuma, it seemed like. The ring got rid of the nightmares…so, I guess we were the test subjects to make sure it was working…wait- Kagami!” He leaned off the wall and looked towards the cataclysm’d doorway, surprising Ladybug. No one had walked through it the whole time, like they were truly abandoned here, “I wasn’t alone. My friend, Kagami, is next door.”

“Don’t worry,” Ladybug put her hand on his shoulder. She was smiling gently again, “Kagami is safe.”

He sat back, “she is?”

“Yes. Someone…who cares about her very much came for her.”

Adrien raised his eyebrows.

Ladybug giggled, “You know of Argos, right?”

Adrien smirked and gasped, “Felix?”

“Mmmmmmmhm,” she nodded.

Adrien’s grin grew and he narrowed his eyes at his friend, “Are they…?”

Ladybug tilted her head teasingly and raised her eyebrows.

He was always amazed at how they could communicate without words. He leaned back, questioning her with an astonished face.

She challenged him with a powerfully amused expression.

“Really??” He couldn’t suppress the smile if he wanted to. The idea of it made perfect sense, was so funny, and made him happy for them both. 

Ladybug let out a full belly laugh, which made his whole day brighter.

“I cannot wait to tease them about that soon,” Adrien said while his partner lost herself.

She eventually calmed and wiped a tear from her eye, “Me too.”

Plagg floated between them. He was snickering too. Without thinking, Adrien reached out and scratched his kwami behind the ear. Plagg leaned into it, seeming to forget too.

“Wow, you’re bold,” Ladybug said. She looked smug and was looking him up and down.

Adrien panicked despite her playfulness, “Oh- well, you know, he looks like a cat, so…”

“He is the black cat Kwami. Watch out, he bites,” Ladybug purred.

He did in fact bite. What Ladybug didn’t know, however, was that Adrien was the black cat holder, and had already been bitten more times than he could count. He was pretty sure now that Ladybug didn’t know that. However, mulling over that allowed the weight of the situation to settle over him again. He wanted out of this room. The cookie was helping the dizziness, so he could likely move now. Wiping his sweaty hands on his pants, he gave standing another try. He shot up a little too fast and his muscles screamed and quivered. Before he could collapse again, his partner was there, like always.

“What are you doing?? You need to rest, still,” Ladybug scolded him. Plagg floated up around their heads, watching. Leaning on her completely, he managed to stand up. But even then, she didn’t let go and watched him, waiting for him to say something.

“You- you said you needed to talk to me about something?” he inquired, nervous.

She looked down as she nodded. That’s not a good sign.

Adrien took a deep breath, “I’m alright enough to talk now. I promise. Just-” he hesitated, and she looked up at him again, “Can we-” he huffed, “I need to get out of this room.”

She sighed in what must have been relief, “Me too.” Plagg flew into her hair as she gently put her arm under his legs and hoisted him up bridal style.

By Ladybug’s strength, they made it outside together, finally leaving Adrien’s prison through the decimated entrance left by the cataclysm. She adjusted her grip on him, freeing one of her arms, before taking to the sky with her yo-yo, holding him securely to her chest, with Plagg nestled between them.

-x-

When he woke up, it wasn’t Ladybug holding him anymore, and the wind no longer whipped at his face. Instead, he was in Marinette’s arms, and her soft, sleepy breath brushed him gently. As the memories of that day started to fade, he settled into the warmth of his girlfriend, good butterflies erupting in his belly as he snuggled closer. He felt Plagg purr and shift at his back, where his friends couldn’t see. One look out the window told him it was early morning—dew collected on the sides, sliding down the glass, and the skies were coated in gray. Adrien wasn’t surprised he had risen before everyone else—he had always been a morning person, though not necessarily by choice. 

He tried not to think about his father. But so many things made those sickening and empty feelings return. He was gone…Gabriel Agreste was gone…and he didn’t know how to feel most of the time. He was freer than he’d ever been, he was no longer made to model or give his image away to technology, and he could love Marinette without the haunting disapproval of a parent looming, but, at the same time, his dad passed away, joining his mom. In their last moments together, he fought him as Chat Noir, finally voicing how he felt about his father’s control. After that, he never saw him again—only sensed him behind a camera as Adrien suffered in an all-white room. 

“Adrien?” A voice across the room—Kagami.

He sat up, carefully adjusting so that he didn’t jostle his Princess, “Good morning,” he whispered.

“Good morning,” Kagami said quietly back, smiling. She looked down at Felix sleeping next to her. His mouth was hanging slightly open, and his arm was above him on his pillow. Kagami slowly looked back at Adrien, “It seem both of our significant others are not morning people.”

Adrien covered his mouth, attempting to stifle his laugh, “It seems that way.” He took a moment to rub Marinette’s arm and move her bangs off her forehead. She was snoring slightly and hummed a little from where she was buried under the covers. “She’d sleep all day if she could.”

“He would too,” Kagami said softly, “Though he always panics when he wakes up—worried he slept the day away.”

“Marinette too!” He exclaimed softly. 

They both giggled before nodding at each other and slowly extracting themselves from their respective bundles of blankets and pillows. They went straight to the bathrooms to get changed and ready for the day. They had a lot planned after all. Adrien let Kagami use the one upstairs and said he would make his way to the one near the kitchen on the first floor. She nodded gratefully. Once they separated, Adrien took a moment to look around Felix’s home. He’d been here before, many times, as a kid, but it looked a little different every time—Amelie got bored often. 

What décor there was in the Fathom home changed for the seasons, the holidays, and just on his aunt’s whim. A lot of the home was its usually modern aesthetic, with whites, blacks, and greys. It was the kind of color palette that made him want to daydream about the colorful house he’d have with Marinette someday. But, Felix’s home also seemed to take on a theme of fruits right now, especially noticeable in the bathrooms and the seating area by the large set of windows, surrounding the whole living space. There was a strawberry rug in the bathroom he stepped into as well as a bowl of fake grapes on the coffee table outside. All over there were fruit-scented candles scattered, and there were even light bulbs shaped like little lemons hanging above the bathroom mirror. Adrien wouldn’t say his aunt was particularly good at decorating, but she enjoyed it, and the little, nonsensical additions she made always brought a smile to his face—the pops of color trying to escape the veil of a bland, stifling house.

He finished up in the restroom by putting on his outfit for the day. The four of them were going to dress up a little for their double date, and Marinette had helped pick his clothes before they left. She had fussed over him for over an hour, holding up different shirts to his chest, and even creating drawings for him to see. They had settled on a flowy, white, short-sleeve button-up that tucked into high waisted shorts. The shorts came down to just above his knees and weren’t denim, rather a soft blue fabric that frilled at the waist and created beautiful creases at the bottom. He wore shin-length socks and extremely large white sneakers. He put on a couple of Marinette’s beaded, agate bracelets and one of her necklaces—it was silver with a small cat charm on the bottom. He giggled at the irony. She had also let him borrow some white crystal studs, which he promptly put in to complete the look. On his right hand, he wore his miraculous, and on his left, the twin rings from his parents. He took a moment to look himself over in the mirror. His lips curved upward ever so slightly, and he giggled a little. He liked how he looked. He felt pretty and handsome. Marinette did wonderfully as per usual.

“Ya look cute, kid,” Plagg snickered from behind him.

Adrien turned to look at his kwami. Plagg was curiously tapping the lemon lights, observing his reflection in each.

Adrien giggled, “Thank you, Plagg.” He turned back to the mirror.

He’d never dressed himself…for himself before. It felt foreign. It felt nice. The green of the moss agate brought out the greens in his eyes. Marinette always said they were pretty. Right now, he believed her. The shorts fit him comfortably and he loved how they easily swayed and wrapped around him as he moved, like he was in water. The button-up just barely came off his shoulders on both sides—a new style for him he absolutely loved. Wearing Marinette’s necklace and earrings felt so intimate. She loved those pieces, and she loved him, so she wanted to see them together. His hair looked so gold against all the cool tones from the outfit. Adrien ran his hands through it a little, tentatively playing with it and watching it fall back into place as if he was seeing it for the first time. 

He’d heard it so many times. He’d heard it from fans on the street, from magazines, from photographers, from his father, and even from his friends. He’d never truly felt it though, but Adrien was starting to. He smiled so big, “I’m pretty.”

A loud bang outside shook him out of it. Plagg zipped into the pocket of his shirt. The rush of adrenaline that went through Adrien at hearing a loud noise was shocking every time, and he instinctively clenched his fists and thumbed his miraculous as he swung open the door. 

Outside, he saw Kagami curled up in a ball on the couch, mouth agape and staring up to the second floor. She was dressed now as well. She had on a large, red flannel that hung off her shoulder a bit too. Underneath it was a white shirt that had lace patterns at the collar and on the hem. She was wearing a black skirt, with black tights, and clunky black shoes to pull it all together. The skirt was not like his shorts—it was sturdy and held its shape, small folds all around it measuring about three inches wide. The shoes had laces, thick soles, and an incredibly shiny surface. 

Adrien was about to tell her she looked amazing, when he was reminded of why he came outside the bathroom in the first place. 

“You did it on purpose!” Felix. 

“Obviously, I didn’t! Why would I do that?” Marinette was trailing Felix on the top floor, the two of them stomping out of the bedroom like fighting siblings. Felix was furious, walking away from Marinette in damp pajamas. Marinette chased after him, equally angry, with an empty water glass. Adrien cringed, worried. 

“Because you’re upset with me!” Felix whipped around and lunged at Adrien’s girlfriend, “Or do you mean to tell me you accidentally spilled two entire glasses of water within twelve hours of each other?” Felix turned again and quickly descended the spiral staircase. 

Adrien felt something hot inside him that made his brow furrow as he pushed forward towards the two of them. Kagami followed. 

“Yes!” Marinette leaned towards Felix in retaliation, “That’s exactly what happened,” she said as she narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice.

Felix just rolled his eyes and descended the stairs, Marinette following, after a moment. As the duo came face-to-face with their partners, Adrien quickly went up to Felix, “That wasn’t cool, Felix. Marinette wouldn’t do that on purpose.”

A retort almost made its way past Felix’s lips, but before it could, his eyes flicked to Kagami, then all over Adrien’s face, and then, he took a deep breath, “You get to clean up the water off the floor.”

Adrien blinked, honestly surprised Felix let the situation go, “S-sure,” he said. He heard Marinette huff behind his cousin.

After another minute of tentative stares between the four of them, Kagami cleared her throat and walked between him and Felix. She carefully raised her hand to Felix’s chest, tracing one of the soaked sections of his pajamas. The reaction from Felix was immediate, his face turning bright red and his bottom lip falling so that he was gaping like a fish. Adrien continued to watch them—curious. Kagami giggled a little as she observed how truly covered in water her boyfriend was. She was smiling and her lingering gaze was soft—a deep contrast to the energy that had just filled the room. Whether or not that was intentional, Adrien didn’t know.

“You should get changed,” Kagami stated, finally, looking up at Felix. Her smile faltered, and she seemed to press him with a stare. He responded by questioning her silently with narrowed eyes. It was like Kagami was trying to tell him something.

It feels like everyone is hiding something.

From the moment he got here, the air had been thick with the smog of suspicion—webs of worry, like every one person was keeping something from everyone else. Every one person except for Adrien, and maybe, his poor dear Aunt Amelie. It made Adrien feel…small. The same kind of feeling he got when his father shut his office doors in Adrien’s face.

Felix looked serious as he nodded at Kagami, and together, they went back up to Felix’s room, carrying a couple towels.

Adrien absent-mindedly watched the closed door for a minute, wondering. Plagg shifted against his rapidly-beating heart.

“Whoa.”

Marinette’s voice startled him, and he looked back down to find her staring. Her expression looked a lot like Felix’s from a moment ago. He looked behind him and above them before asking, “What is it?”

She stumbled a little and fiddled with her thumbs, looking between him and the floor. She smiled wide as she said, “You look nice.”

“O-oh. Thank you, love,” he said, shyly, as he rocked back and forth on his heels.

“The outfit- it’s- it all looks- you’re pretty- Uh I mean! Well, yeah, y-you’re pretty.”

She was a mess, and Adrien was in love.

“You picked it out, you know. All this,” he gestured up and down his outfit, “is a credit to you, Marinette.”

“You give me too much credit, Buttercup,” she walked over slowly, flicking his chin. Their faces were close, and he could still feel the warmth of sleep radiating off her. “After all, I had a beautiful canvas to work with.”

Before he could completely collapse from being so flustered, Marinette grabbed his forearms gently, steadying him while she brought him closer. She was always reading him, always checking, and always looking. Adrien could tell when she was listening and watching him. It made him feel safe and comforted and loved. She was reading him now, holding him tenderly, and slowly moving up to place a soft morning kiss on his lips.

He’d never felt so much love and so much safety at the same time.

-x-

Kagami and Felix eventually came back downstairs. Just in time for Marinette to exit into the bathroom, leaving Adrien—an awkward and confused third wheel—alone with the two of them. Felix was dry and fully dressed, looking chipper and less like a child throwing a tantrum. Adrien scoffed a little, rolling his eyes subtly. His cousin now wore a large black cardigan with white roses. It was knitted—by a designer or a family member Adrien had no idea, but it was beautiful. He also had adorned a white top underneath the sweater, tight, gray jeans, and black heeled boots with silver studs. Apparently, everyone was being adventurous today—not excluding his stuck-up, stubborn cousin, who preferred business casual for every outing. Adrien knew that wasn’t fair—Felix’s father had often made him dress up after all, but Adrien remembered bitterly all the playdates where Felix would tease him for wearing t-shirts and jeans.

As they walked over from the stairs, Felix looked at Kagami with a concerned expression, while Kagami seemed frazzled—eyes darting about the room as she stroked her chin—deep in thought. They didn’t look at Adrien at all—just moved swiftly towards the couch where he was sitting and all but completely ignored Adrien as they sat on the cushions opposite him.

They remained like that for a while. They would steal glances at each other, Kagami would cover her mouth and whisper something to Felix, to which he would nod or shake his head. Kagami looked…worried? Frustrated? Adrien still couldn’t read her very well—something he felt a little guilty about, having been her boyfriend.

But also, among the tentative glances and hushed, tense exchanges, Felix would rub his hand up and down Kagami’s knee comfortingly, and Kagami would hold onto Felix’s arm, playing with the black threads of the large cardigan. This bit of tenderness warmed Adrien’s heart enough for him to attempt to say something.

“Hey guys, I just-”

A glare like finding the eyes of a snake in a rose garden pierced him from the other side of the couch. Felix’s eyes were the same ones he saw in the mirror earlier—the same green, the same genes, the same blood. But Adrien always felt like their eyes looked so different.

Swallowing thickly, Adrien shut his mouth and pulled his legs to his torso on the couch.

Felix, surprisingly, seemed to notice this and softened a little. They held each other’s gazes for a time. Felix scanned Adrien’s outfit and picked at his own sweater. He chewed his lip some as he searched Adrien’s face. Then, Felix looked down at the ring his own father left him, only to stare back up at Adrien again.

Felix’s eyes started to look familiar.

The string between them snapped suddenly when Marinette clumsily swung the bathroom door open, making way too much noise for such a quiet room. Adrien loved that about her.

“Sheesh, sorry,” she said as she made her way over.

Now, it was Adrien’s turn to be enchanted. Marinette looked incredible. She was wearing a high-waisted white skirt that came down to her knees and a pink, fluffy turtle-neck sweater. The sweater’s sleeves ended at her forearms, and they were puffy. She looked like a cozy fairy. Adrien wasn’t going to say that out loud, but she did, and she was gorgeous. To go with the outfit, she had on white flat boots, her usual black earrings, a gold necklace with a black crystal ladybug charm, and a bracelet of amethyst pearls.

Adrien giggled—at her antics and in awe of her beauty—and stumbled to put his arms around her as she sat down next to him.

The two of them looked across the couch to find dazed and unamused glances. Adrien started to feel nervous, until he saw Marinette’s amused smirk, “This is gonna be great,” she said, chuckling despite it all.

-x-

The river Thames was so loud as they flew over it. But it was also calming. He felt like a baby—soothed by the motion of flight in Ladybug’s arms and the white noise from the rapid-flowing water below. Ladybug looked calmer too.

She looked tired. She must’ve had a horrible night too. The guilt of having not been there was gnawing through Adrien’s stomach, quickly using up the small amount of energy Ladybug’s cookie had given him. Giving up his ring for the night was starting to feel like a dumb decision. He wished he could’ve been there for whatever fight had taken place.

Eventually, their smooth and cold journey came to a stop at an abandoned church a few blocks down from the river. She slid through the broken balcony with him in her arms. As they entered, dark green ivy leaves brushed against Adrien’s face, tickling him, and making him smile with relief. It was good to be outside again. The vines climbed up every single stone pillar lining the balcony, taking over the structure like an infection—a beautiful infection. There were chunks missing out of the pillars on the side where they entered. Pieces of the tiled floor were gone too, and there was so much dirt and dust everywhere. Below them, opposite the pillars, was the main alter, stretching out to the far wall, where enormous stained-glass windows remained bold and colorful, letting in the dim, yellow light from the streetlamps.

Noticing he was still in her arms despite their landing, Adrien glanced at Ladybug to find her staring at him. She blinked rapidly upon him noticing, and averted her gaze, blushing. That’s odd, he thought as she scrunched her nose in embarrassment. She then proceeded to gingerly set him down, smoothing his clothes and putting a hand to his back. She sat next to him on the dirty, tile floor. Plagg made a show of hovering between them, looking at Adrien, nodding at him, and tentatively settling into his lap. Adrien was grateful. He needed his kwami right now, so he appreciated the theatrics to keep Ladybug from sniffing him out.

Ladybug smiled at the little cat and looked back up at Adrien, eyes growing sad. She took a deep breath, “You deserve to know what happened. This akuma…was one of the worst ones we’ve ever faced- well the worst one.”

Adrien grimaced and gulped, “You had help?”

“Well I- no. No, I didn’t.”

He wanted to throw up, “I’m sorry, I- I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t really say anything else.

“It’s- It’s okay,” she said solemnly, “I understand why. Chat Noir delivered his ring to me to protect people from…himself, I guess. He made a smart choice. I’m proud of him.”

Adrien would never get tired of hearing Ladybug say she was proud of him. It made him feel fulfilled and full. He couldn’t help the blush, but he tried to hide it by feeling the nape of his neck, “That’s good.”

“Yes. Though fighting alone was not easy,” she looked at him intensely and he felt the warmth dissipate, “I didn’t just fight an akuma alone. I fought Monarch alone.”

He almost choked on air, gasping quietly but intensely enough to send him into another coughing fit. She lunged forward and began to say something, but his brain sprung at her with questions, panic taking over, “You fought Monarch? What?? Did you? Was he-”

“Hey, shhhh,” Ladybug put a hand to his chest, bringing him a little closer, “It’s okay. I’m fine,” she smiled with a crease in her brow, “It’s kind of you to worry, Adrien, but I’m alright.”

He only relaxed a little.

“I did fight Monarch, and…he’s gone. He’s gone now.” A single tear fell from her eye, but she never stopped smiling at him.

Adrien was astonished, proud, and in shock, “He’s…he’s gone? Like…gone gone?”

Ladybug took a shaky breath, “Yes.”

“Wow…” Adrien tried to wrap his mind around it—no more akumas—but he just couldn’t comprehend a reality where absurd, colorful villains didn’t run rampant every day. He looked at his Lady again—his strong, smart, incredible Lady who just fought their nemesis all on her own and won. Because of course she did. He’s never wanted her to see his Chat side more than this moment. He slowly reached up, taking both sides of her face in his hands, beaming at her. She was stunned by this, lips falling open slightly and shining eyes widening. He held her for a moment, and then moved in for a hug, wrapping one arm around her head and the other around her back, “I’m so proud of you.”

He felt her breath hitch as he rocked her back and forth, “Oh uh- T-thank you, uh, Adrien.”

His heart sank a little at that name. He was desperate for her to see him—all of him. He let himself wonder if perhaps that would be soon, given Monarch was gone, but he didn’t let himself ponder for too long. Other things, especially Ladybug’s comfort, were most important right now. Maybe someday.

Adrien slowly extracted himself from her. He didn’t fully retreat, staying close and offering small touches on her arms and hands. She responded kindly, wrapping both her hands around one of his and squeezing. The image of her spotted hands embracing his bare one made him smile and think of that someday.

But, when he gazed up at Ladybug again, there were more tears, actively falling down her cheeks.

“Ladybug, what is it? What’s wrong?” Suddenly the panic was returning.

She squeezed his hands in response and cried harder, “I’m sorry, I just-” she hiccupped and couldn’t continue.

He tried to help, “Isn’t defeating the bad guy a good thing?” he chuckled but it contained no joy.

She nodded her head frantically, “No it is. It is, but- Adrien-” she paused. Her hands moved to his shoulders where she let her thumbs move back and forth across his sweaty, wrinkly, white button-up, “Something happened…in the battle.”

“Okay…?” He tried to smile again but failed.

“The battle took place near your home, and uh- your father-”

The night air got colder, and the river outside got louder.

“I’m sorry. I tried, I really did, but…your father was killed in the fight.”

Adrien felt her hands tighten as she finished, but that’s about all he felt. Everything else was numb.

“He tried to help me, well he-” she seemed to get frustrated and take a moment to center herself, “He helped me defeat Monarch and he passed away in the battle.” It came out of her rushed and forced.

A long pause followed. “Oh,” was all he could muster. It was all too much—the many realizations settling on him all at once. Chief among them, he was now truly alone. He had no family. Well, maybe that wasn’t true, “Natalie? My bodyguard?”

“They’re okay,” Ladybug nodded, “They’re okay and they know what happened.”

Adrien couldn’t look at her anymore, so he looked at the flora surrounding them. What was once vibrant now looked dull in his eyes. The truth was: he was angry at his father. Adrien had been mistreated, taken advantage of, separated from his girlfriend, and had spent a lifetime’s worth of dinners alone, but Gabriel was still his father. His death settled upon Adrien like snow falling on leaves that had already browned and cracked. His father managed to hurt him one more time by leaving his son with a million unanswered questions and a confusing collection of all their memories together.

But, at the same time, Adrien was devastated, and the tears that fell were inevitable. Ladybug and Plagg held him through it.

Adrien sniffed and let himself lean into his partner like he had when she first found him in that white room. He gently pet Plagg’s head, who rested against his stomach, and he followed vine stems with his eyes to the bright stained glass across the way, where, in many colors, a mother was depicted, holding her newborn baby.

Adrien cleared his throat, “Did he…say anything? About…”

Ladybug pressed her head on top of his and sighed, “He left you something.”

Adrien sat up slowly, waiting.

Ladybug lifted it up between them—two silver bands bound together to make one. The hero closed her eyes, held it to her lips, took a deep breath, and extended the gift to Adrien.

He took it with a shaking hand, twisting it and feeling it with his thumb. It was shiny, yet obviously old. He could see his distorted reflection in it. The twin rings were smooth—likely from being worn and touched often. It felt heavy between his fingers, and for some reason, seemed to call out to him.

“He left you this ring.”

-x-

The rushing of the Thames was still soothing, even standing next to it. Though he preferred flying on the rooftops, those kinds of acrobatics would have to wait until he was back in Paris, where Chat Noir should always be.

The ring Ladybug had given him, the ring from his father, the ring that symbolized his father and his mother’s marriage, sat heavily on his left hand, weighing him down with questions never to be answered. A reminder that his family was gone, but their love remained. Right?

Adrien shook his head. He forced his fingers to stop feeling the ring. They had begun quivering a little. Now was not the time. The four of them—himself, Marinette, Kagami, and Felix—had made their way downtown London to a small restaurant next to the river. It was fancier than Adrien would’ve liked, and felt stingy, but they had barely gotten Felix to come along, so they let him pick their destination.

Adrien managed to look away from the river and, gripping Marinette’s hand, made his way inside the restaurant. Once being greeted by the hostess and led through a maze of seats inside, he sat opposite his cousin at a large booth made of red leather. The whole place was dimly lit with yellow lights—a contrast to the eternal gray of the London skies. Small chandeliers hung above every table, adorned with crystals and fake candles. There were flowers inside, hanging above them in planters and across the back of the booths in vines. However, from the large, smooth gleam that ran across each leaf, Adrien realized they were all plastic. That was a little disappointing for some reason.

Before finally engaging with the others, Adrien took a moment to find the location of the bathroom and the nearest exits. He knew he wouldn’t likely get an emergency call from Ladybug, but he couldn’t help but plan. He would need to be fast transforming to have a chance at making it back to Paris on time. He subtly stroked his pocket, where he knew Plagg was hiding. Being around company for long periods of time made it hard to talk to the kwami, which made Adrien a little sad.

“You sure are jittery,” Felix said from across the table—eyes slits and face slack.

Adrien turned toward him, opened his menu, and sighed, “And you’re getting on my last nerve.”

“Oh, am I?” Adrien’s comment was meant to be more light-hearted, but clearly something had snapped in his cousin.

“Yes, you’re-”

Kagami cleared her throat from where she sat across from Marinette. She was looking down, unfolding her napkin, but her point was made. Marinette was looking to the side at Adrien, rubbing his leg under the table.

“This is a nice place, Felix. Have you been here before?” Marinette sounded a little nervous as she spoke. It was absurdly unfair that anyone who talked to Felix had to trample all over eggshells.

Felix looked apprehensive for a moment, scanning his own menu, before stating, “Yes, I have been here with my mother many times. And before that, Adrien’s mother and father would come here with my parents.”

Adrien tensed at the mention of his parents and everyone surely noticed. Kagami glanced at him and Marinette leaned towards him, unwrapping his straw from the paper and putting it in his water for him.

Kagami spoke next, in an obviously desperate attempt to keep the conversation going, “It does not seem like it from their reputation, but this establishment has wonderful hot tea, if you are in the mood for a hot beverage, of course.”

Adrien and Marinette pursed their lips and nodded in sync.

This is so awkward.

After a minute, though, Marinette giggled, “Wait, so, Kagami, have you been here before too?”

Kagami blushed, and Felix hid behind his menu. “Oh, yes,” Kagami said, shyly, “Felix has brought me here before…for dates together as a couple.”

“Aww that’s so cute,” Marinette exclaimed. Adrien hid a smile behind his hand.

Felix looked down as he leaned forward and took a sip of water. His eyebrows were furrowed until he looked to the side at Kagami. They lifted as he looked at her, and he swallowed the water easily, “Yes. I’ve taken Kagami on a few dates here.”

Some of the weights were lifted off the table.

Kagami turned excitedly back towards Marinette and Adrien, “We sit at the table for two over there by the window and tell each other secrets.”

Adrien smiled at her twinkling eyes, “Secrets?”

“Yes. We tell each other things we’ve never told anyone else. I enjoy it very much.”

“Hmm, yeah,” Marinette hummed, flipping through her menu, “Honesty is something that’s really valuable in a relationship. The truth is important.” Adrien almost missed it, but her eyes flicked to Felix.

Felix reached for his water again, “Cousin, apparently, your girlfriend is a relationship professional.”

Marinette dropped the page she was currently looking at, “I’m not a professional. I’m just saying that the truth is important, and it will hurt the couple if it doesn’t come out in the right way.”

Adrien put his hand in the middle of the table, trying to stop them, “Hey, guys-”

“Let’s change the subject,” Felix said, ignoring him.

Adrien closed his eyes for a moment. If he could just daydream hard enough, maybe he could teleport himself and his girlfriend to her bedroom with cookies and a movie, but alas, “Okay, so what would you like to talk about Felix?” Adrien took a deep breath, “How have you been recently?”

His cousin had the audacity to smirk with amusement—his menu untouched and forgotten in front of him, “I’m well, cousin. How are you?”

It obviously held malice. Something was truly bothering Felix. Everyone knew that, right now, Adrien Agreste was not well. Both his parents were gone for good, and the future of an entire company (the Gabriel brand) was on his shoulders.

Marinette swooped in, “Well, Felix, we are doing really well together, and…oh! I should show you some of my new designs, Kagami,” reaching into her purse, she pulled out a small sketchpad.

It was abundantly clear: there was an all-out war between his cousin and his girlfriend. But Adrien had no idea why.

“I didn’t ask how you were. I asked how Adrien was,” Felix snapped at Marinette.

Adrien was already over this, despite how much he desperately wanted this double date to work, “Felix, stop talking like that to her.”

“She interrupted our conversation,” he said it like it was obvious.

Adrien scoffed, “What is with you? Ever since we arrived yesterday, and you spoke to Marinette in your kitchen, you’ve been nothing but disrespectful and just mean. Get a grip.”

Felix recoiled. The retaliation was coming. Adrien felt it like a hot fire in front of him. But the wait staff made their entrance, and the universe showed him mercy.

“Good afternoon, everyone. May I get you started with some drinks?” They were jovial, sweet, and soft-spoken. The anger in the air snapped immediately, and all of them reached into the deepest corners of their minds for their beverage preferences.

Kagami spoke first, “I’ll just have a water, please.”

Using her eyes as daggers, Kagami turned to Marinette, prompting a flurry of menu pages and a few adorable stutters, “I- uh- uh- I’ll have a sweet tea! Yes, a, uh, sweet tea with lemon…Iced! Did I say iced?”

Adrien stroked her palm under the table and gave her a comforting glance. She smiled at him. “I’ll have water as well, thank you.” Adrien didn’t think he could stomach any flavor right now.

Felix’s eyes flicked to Marinette before he looked up at the waiter, “I will have an unsweetened iced tea, please.”

Marinette smacked her forehead.

“Alright…I will get those right out to you and come back for your food order.” They sounded understandably timid after that show and left with a questioning glance around the table.

This is more like a business meeting than a double date. The kind of business meeting he saw his father attend.

They all stared at the spot where their waiter once stood for a solid minute.

“The food here is spectacular,” Kagami finally said, confidently. As if, even though their good relationships were unraveling in front of them, the knowledge that the food was good here would ease the tension at the table. Adrien admired her so much. She was strong.

“That’s awesome!” Marinette exclaimed next to him, “I think I’m going to try the Bucatini with Shrimp and Spicy Cherry Tomato Sauce.”

“Mmm that’s a good choice,” Felix chimed in, “In fact, I believe that was one my uncle’s favorites when he came here.”

Mentioning my father, again.

Marinette buried her face in her hands. Adrien was so confused. He had no idea why his cousin continued to act up during the ten minutes they’ve been at this table, but it was annoying, “No it probably wasn’t,” Adrien said.

Felix made an exaggerated shrug, “Oh, my mistake. Speaking of my uncle though, how have you been Adrien? It must be a lot.”

“Felix,” Kagami had apparently decided that today she would be the bucket of water, continuously waltzing over to put out this disaster of a flame, “That’s a rather insensitive way to do it.”

“Do what?” Marinette prodded.

“Nothing,” Felix quickly replied, “I just want to know how you are, Adrien.”

What was Adrien even supposed to say? There was clearly a correct answer. Felix was looking for something from him. He wanted to be honest with the people he loved, but it seemed like that honesty was exactly what Felix wanted at this moment. But why? “I’m…hanging in there.”

Good. Not a lie, but not giving…anything. Perfect.

“You’re not sad? I guess that makes sense, given the way they treated you.”

Adrien’s blood was boiling, albeit silently. Felix was walking a dangerous line, and judging by the anxious twinkle in his eyes, he knew it, “Your parents. They were never kind to you. They always cared more about each other and their self-actualization as parents than you.”

Marinette abruptly stood up, causing the silverware on the table to clatter. Kagami’s jaw dropped, and Adrien couldn’t speak. He held his open menu tighter, bringing it closer to him like a shield between him and the wrath of yet another one of his relatives.

Felix had a sad expression on his face and was breathing heavily. It was like he didn’t want to say those things but was being forced to. And after a moment of silence, he spoke in a hoarse voice, “I don’t think I could handle anymore heartbreak if I were you.”

Adrien felt warm hands on his back. One of them squeezed his shoulder. “You’re awful, Felix.” Marinette.

Felix looked up at her with tears in his eyes, “I’m awful?”

“We’re leaving. Let’s go, Adrien,” Marinette began to gently shove him towards the end of the booth.

“No,” Adrien shocked himself and the whole table with his whisper. His voice cracked a few more times as he spoke, “No, I- I want this. Please,” he shook his head in exasperation, “We have to try to be together.”

This made Marinette stop. Felix just looked panicked.

Adrien stood shakily and got out of the booth, “Please, stay here. I just need some air. I’ll be right back.”

He couldn’t bear to look at his girlfriend before he practically ran out of the restaurant. He passed by their waiter, an older couple that stared daggers at him as he narrowly missed bumping into them, and three or four groups waiting to be seated. He felt like he was drowning in the sea of people, warm lights, and red furniture. Making it outside to the river and the cloudy sky was a relief. Desperate to get far from the windows of the restaurant and the commotion, he walked slowly to the river, pinching the bridge of his nose, and squinting his eyes to stop the tears from coming. They came anyway, warm on his cheek against the nipping of the London wind.

"Kid, try to take some deep breaths," Plagg floated up from under his shirt to try and comfort him, but there was a tremor in his voice.

Adrien tried to contain his shaking, "I love you, Plagg, but may I please be alone until I say I'm ready?" He didn't want to shut out his closest friend, but he was spiraling and couldn't handle being perceived by anyone right now—even his kwami, who Adrien knew would never judge him.

Plagg hesitated before whispering, "Yes, but be careful." He rubbed Adrien's cheek tenderly and disappeared into his pocket again. The heavy emotions Adrien tried to keep at bay were settling in like a wave approaching the shore.

He had always been lonely. That much was never lost on him. He could identify the feeling from a mile away. It always felt numb at first, but eventually, it became a persistent ache—like a bad one in your stomach that left you immobile. Adrien thought that the loneliness would be fixed with friends, so he begged his father to attend public school, forced his way into the classroom when Gabriel said no, and fumbled through every relationship he made in the hopes of keeping at least one. But, despite four of those relationships flourishing into close companionship, the hole in his heart remained. He was grateful to have his friends, of course. But what he really needed was family. Adrien wanted nothing more than a family.

Family was safety. Family was permanent. Family was unconditional. And the love in his household was anything but that. It came with terms—his father’s terms, and Adrien was left to pick up the pieces of emotional intelligence that his father lacked.

Even in his father’s last moments, he and Adrien were an ocean apart. Now, Adrien is left to ponder when and how much his father truly cared for him. Did he ever love me? Did my mother love me? Does Natalie? Because of this trip, Adrien was almost sure Felix and Amelie didn’t—not in the way Adrien needed them to.

He could finally see that now: he was crying in the wake of his last chance for a family. His mother and father were gone. Felix and Amelie were all he had. And his cousin couldn’t spend one afternoon without hurting the person he loved most. Adrien was so tired of giving people second chances. And third chances. And fourth chances. It always ended in heartbreak.

He finally made it across the street, swiftly descending the stairs to the pier. He walked up to the Thames, where it crashed against the sides of the medium-sized, stone wall that prevented people from falling in. Thanks to the water, no one nearby could hear him sobbing. It felt so silly. He was crying for something he truly never had. He braced himself on the edge of the wall, watching as his tears fell into the gushing water, panting with exertion of the oncoming meltdown. He squeezed his eyes shut, wishing for nothing more than for Ladybug to swoop in and whisk him away. She’d bring Marinette too, and they’d fly together over the buildings of London, where Felix, Natalie, and the rest of anything related to the Agreste’s couldn’t touch him.

It’s all gone.

He screamed. He screamed for the family he would never have and cried harder. It was becoming difficult to see now, but through what remained of his vision, he caught sight of it on his left hand—his mother and father’s wedding bands. A blind rage, one like he’d never experienced, caught him by the throat. It halted his tears and silenced the world around him. With an iron grip, he wrapped his hand around his left ring finger and pulled the twin rings off. He held them there, cupped in his two hands, running his thumb across the aged silver, and watching his foggy reflection in them.

He was finally ready. He was ready to give up his blood family, and it was time for him to invest everything he had into his found one. Though it pained him, he was happy. He wanted a life with Marinette, her family, Nino, and Alya. They deserved him. Felix, Amelie…Gabriel…they never did.

The anger was gone. It was washed away by sad peace in an instant.

With a newfound resolve, he closed his hands, held his parents’ rings one last time, and dropped them into the river.

-x-

The rings barely weighed anything, but he felt so much lighter after letting them go. He walked back into the restaurant, weaving through the crowd—light as a feather—and found Marinette with Felix and Kagami.

“Cousin-”

“You were right. We should leave,” Adrien only looked at his partner, gripping her elbow gently.

She nodded quickly and started scooting out of the booth as she said, “Are you okay? Where did you go?”

Adrien could hear Felix grunting in protest as he started to get up as well. He focused on his beautiful girlfriend, “I’m fine, I promise. Let’s just go home,” he tried to say it with a smile. He could see that Marinette was still extremely concerned.

“Adrien, Marinette, wait,” Felix had gotten up and Kagami was following him.

Marinette took over for him, hastily putting herself between him and his cousin and leading them towards the exit, “I can book a train ticket online on the way to the station. It won’t be hard to cancel the other ones.”

Adrien nodded and tried to tune out Felix’s shouts from behind them, “What about our stuff at Felix’s house?”

Marinette thought for a moment, apologizing to patrons as they brushed by, “We’ll drop by there first and get them. There’s nothing Felix can do to stop us from leaving, I promise. I will take care of it.”

They shoved open the doors to the restaurant and sped out onto the busy sidewalk, looking for a cab on the road to take them back to Felix’s apartment. Of course, there were none in sight.

“What do you think you’re doing??”

“Stop, Felix. Marinette, Adrien, please wait,” Kagami was pulling at Felix’s arm as he ran over, “There’s no need to get worked up, and we can have a proper conversation.”

The four of them were back together in no time, standing next to the loud cars that drove by. Felix was hyperventilating, but with every yank on his arm from his girlfriend, he was starting to calm down, “I-”

Marinette stepped in front of Adrien a little, “Don’t Felix. We’re leaving.”

“Look, I’m sorry!” A huge gust of wind came through, rattling them all, but no one moved. Adrien didn’t think he’d ever heard Felix apologize. His cousin continued, “I was trying to- I didn’t want- It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to say, and I let my fears get the better of me,” he spoke only to Adrien. He had never in his life seen Felix so raw, “I care about you. I just didn’t want…Adrien?”

The change in tone was so sudden it took Adrien a minute to reply, “Y-yeah?”

Felix’s breath quickened again. His eyes were darting back and forth from Adrien’s face to his left hand, “W-where is your ring?”

Marinette jolted next to him and spun around to also look. Kagami stepped forward, gripping Felix harder.

Adrien was uncomfortable under their panicked gazes, but he spoke with confidence, “I let them go.”

To his surprise, it was Marinette that rapidly questioned him, “What do you mean?”

They all stared, frozen.

“I dropped them in the river,” Adrien said.

“You WHAT?!” Felix lunged at him, grabbing his shoulders.

“Why??” Marinette was grabbing his left hand, where the bands once sat.

Adrien was so confused. They were just rings. Two small objects that for some reason meant so much to everyone around him. Accepting them as a gift from his father was his choice, so why didn’t it feel like it?

“We have to find them,” Kagami said to Felix. Felix turned away from Adrien to regard her, taking her hands.

Adrien looked down at Marinette. Her fingers were scrambling, playing with his hand. Her eyes were frantically searching his face. He looked into them, trying to understand, and then it hit him-

The worst pain he’d ever experienced in his entire life.

Adrien was pretty sure he shrieked, hanging forward, clutching his stomach. He felt like something was burning inside him. He wanted to rip it out, but he could barely move. Car horns honked, people were gasping, and he heard shouting. Soon, though, he couldn’t hear anything. He felt hands grab him everywhere. Two of them cupped his face. Another set had him by the arm. And two others wrapped around his stomach, where it hurt the most, easing him to the ground as he felt his legs give out. His head was floating, and his whole body was tingling from small shocks that ran from his heart to his fingertips. Adrien felt himself lose his grip on the world around him.

The walls that closed in on him this time…were black.