Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ada

Dazai osamu = nolongercriminal

Atsushi Nakajima = furryindisguise 

Yosano Akiko = DANGER BEWARE 

Ranpo edogawa = snackaddict

Junichiuro tanizaki = werid ginger

Kyouka izumi = pigtails

Kenji miyzawa = cowboi/sunshineboi

Kunikida doppo = Ifboringwashuman 

Fukuzawa =crazycatfather

Naomi = werid sister

(Yes ik weird is spelled wrong ) 

Port mafia 

Mori = Ew...

Chuuya nakahara = shortginger 

Akutagawa Ryūnosuke =victorian child

Gin Akutagawa = knife🗡

Higuchi = forgot who you was

Hirostu =grandad

Kouyou = Pinkginger 

Tachihara = band-aid ginger(?) 

Later on doa characters

Fyodor=greasyRussianrat

Nikolai= clown 🤡

Sigma=the Pretty one 

Chapter Text

𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 𝐝𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭

𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 𝐝𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐬 9 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞

𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 《𝐀 𝐬𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 🥰》

    𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 𝐝𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥

𝐊𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Nolongercriminal: greetings any of you grave a cuppa tea (´∩ω∩｀)/🍵

 Kunikida :dazai what is the meaning if this?! INSTEAD OF SLACKING OFF YOU COULD AT LEAST DO YOUR WORK

𝐍𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 :𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐟𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧

𝐈𝐟𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭

𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Atsushi nakajima: hello?

𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥

Furryindisguise:why dazai?just why ...?

Yosano akiko :suits you

Nolongercriminal: Kunikida left :(

 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐮 𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Junichirou Tanizaki:no offence dazai but i think we all know why

Nolongercriminal: the betrayal hurts... How could you kuni leave us behind? :(

Yosano akiko:girl you good?

Yosano aiko:hey where my special nickname 

𝐘𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐨 𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐤𝐨 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐛𝐲 𝐍𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 

DANGER BEWARE:...

DANGER BEWARE: Nice >:}

Nolongercriminal: imm just quickly-

𝐍𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐬 𝐢𝐟𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧

Ifboringwashuman:what did deserve for all this suffering

Junichirou Tanizaki : idk maybe being a fucking math teacher

𝐍𝐨𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Noami  𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢 : agreed and what is this group chat for dazai san ? 

Nolongercriminal: for special people dont worry i will make this more useful after i add some other creatures

Furryindisguise:dazai-san did you just imply that were are creatures🧐?

Nolongercriminal:perhaps...

DANGER BEWARE: he's not wrong tho 

DANGER BEWARE: special cases maybe ranpo and dazai himself but creatures yah all of us

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐍𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 

snackaddict: target just as i get online dazai and yosano 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

snackaddict:but pls sister elaborate on special case :)

DANGER BEWARE: nah there no need

snackaddict : im telling >:/

DANGER BEWARE: what are u  5 

Nolongercriminal: u called him special for a reason  didn't u\(￣∇￣)/

DANGER BEWARE: shush your special too dazai 😙

Nolongercriminal:aw thx sis so kind of you 

Ifboringwashuman: just say dazai is autistic it's simple as that no need to feel bad about it

Nolongercriminal: *cough cough* ranpo too( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

DANGER BEWARE: wow Kunikida no sugar coating just straight up you know it probably hurt dazai feelings 😔

DANGER BEWARE: dazai is this mean man hurting you😠

Nolongercriminal: yes i feel hurt i might drown

Snackaddict: to be fair dazai  you drowning is always a free option for u 

Nolongercriminal: bleh

Snackaddict: stopp stucking you tounge at me throught your screen 😡

Nolongercriminal: no im not

Snackaddict:yes you are

Nolongercriminal:nope

Snackaddict:yes and make me admin

Nolongercriminal:why should i

Snackaddict:cuz i said so

𝐍𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭:  𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐧

DANGER BEWARE: why is everyone silent ?

Tanizaki: idk maybe cuz some of us are actually  doing our job? 🤨

𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 

𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

Werid ginger : you didn't even spell weird right 🤦

Werid sister : WeRid 💀

Weird sister : I feel very hurt ranpo San I'm. Not weird as the rest of these people 😠☹️😠☹️😠😠

𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Nolongercriminal: them lot are boring  and keep ggoing offline imma add the rest of the chaos ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡ )

Snackaddict: uh oh

DANGER BEWARE: uh oh...?

Snack addict : I take no blame for what going to happen 🥱

𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐢 𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐳𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Kenji : hello city folks 🤩🤩   it's say im added to this and what is this 🧐🧐☺☺

DANGER BEWARE :poor kid comes just as something bad going to happen

Kenji: who is that I wonder ?

DANGER BEWARE : its yosano ,Kenji this is a group that dazai made, be wary of everything!

Kenji: okie dokie then 😄

snackaddict : who knew this farmer kid knew what technology was 

Nolongercriminal: ur such a meanie ranpo! 

Snackaddict : WTF don't ever say that?

Nolongercriminal: k :(

𝐍𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐢 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐢

𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐢 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐢

cowboi: why is my name changed  😆😆 I think it's nice cows haha 😋

snackaddict : bro I can't with the emoji he uses when talking they look fucking sarcastic 😭💀

 Fukuzawa has been summoned online

Fukuzawa: did I hear you say something ranpo...

snackaddict: no...?

Nolongercriminal:yah ranpo said the f word

Snackaddict: you fucking snitch

Fukuzawa: language

Snackaddict: 😒

DANGER BEWARE:bros in his rebel phase at 26 

Snackaddict: I heard that  😤

DANGER BEWARE: good 

𝐅𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐳𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 

𝟕 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭

𝟖 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 

Shortginger: Wtf is this nah fuck you all I'm out i know you're behind this shitty dazai

Shortginger has left this group chat 

Nolongercriminal has added shortginger

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭

𝐍𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 p░e░r░m░a░n░e░n░t░ l░y░

S̤̮h̤̮o̤̮r̤̮t̤̮ g̤̮i̤̮n̤̮g̤̮e̤̮r̤̮ c̤̮a̤̮n̤̮n̤̮o̤̮t̤̮ l̤̮e̤̮a̤̮v̤̮e̤̮ t̤̮h̤̮i̤̮s̤̮ g̤̮r̤̮o̤̮ṳ̮p̤̮ c̤̮h̤̮a̤̮t̤̮

E̷r̷r̷o̷r̷ ̷o̷r̷ e̷r̷r̷o̷r̷

Shortginger: wtf did you do mackerel

Nolongercriminal:  does slug not want to be here :(

Shortginger: tf you think?

Nolongercriminal: meanie

Snackaddict : ladies ladies no more fighting  

DANGER BEWARE:yah we had enough, go gets some couple therapy💅

Shortginger: end my suffering 

Nolongercriminal: aw is that a request for a double suicide sorry but decline the offer i prefer a beautiful women 

Snackaddict:  lmao the gay guy pretending he straight 

DANGER BEWARE: frr🤭

5 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Victorean child:hello dazai san is that you

Nolongercriminal: im sorry who is this?

Snackaddict: not bro pretending he doesn't know this orphan

Band-aid ginger: this is the reason my phone blew up☹

DANGER BEWARE: wait like metaphorically orr

Knives : ... it exploded in my face..

DANGER BEWARE :im sorry what pls continue with context

Victorian child: go on tachihara continue

Band-aid ginger: oh shi-

Knives🗡: that the fastest ive ever seen him run

Knives🗡: his phone is shit and exploded thats all there is to know whoever you are

DANGER BEWARE: what 😭

DANGER BEWARE: oh and its yosano akiko the agency lovely doctor 

Knives🗡: oh ok 

Knives🗡: is there any thing i should know why me and some other port mafia been added to your guys groupchat? 

Band-aid ginger: yes who is Nolongercriminal  that added everyone un this and the nicknames

Shortginger: take a lovely guess 

Nolongercriminal: ;)

Nolongercriminal: why is like only a few of you guys online @atsushi join and come online or ill hant you (•ˋ _ ˊ•)

𝐅𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Furryindisguise: you already do dazai-san and i mean literally 

Nolongercriminal: yay my favourite is online ☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*

DANGER BEWARE: im sorry what was that

Snackaddict:yes go dazai repeat that again

𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐤𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 

Kyouka:🍿

𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐤𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 

Nolongercriminal:was just about to say "finally bugsbunny came online !  o(〃＾▽＾〃)o " 

nolongercriminal: but nvm i guess 

DANGER BEWARE: don't change the subject 

Furryindisguise: guys I'm pretty  sure it was just joke 🤧

Snackaddict: nuh-uh it wasnt 

𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠

Victorian child: Weretiger i will track you down 

DANGER BEWARE:yah you go girl

Furryindisguise: dont encourage him Yosano sensei i can sense him near

Band-aid ginger: not to butt in ,in what ever this is but could you guys tell your names im confused who's who and why i am here??

DANGER BEWARE: fine I'll put this on hold ...for now 🙂

DANGER BEWARE: yosano sensei the agency doctor 

Nolongercriminal: dazai osmau ! the hard working detective ✧(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Snackaddict: bro just spat jackshit

Snackaddict:ranpo edogawa the worlds best detective 

Furryindisguise:Atsushi 

Nolongercriminal: that was is bland sushi-kun.. be more like

Nolongercriminal : hi it's atsushi nakajika and I'm the agency comfort cat ₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Furryindisguise : first the last time dazai I'm a tiger 

Snackaddict: same thing basically 🤨

Furryindisguise:😤

𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐤𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Pigtails: kyouka Izumi and i dont not like my name i want a change

𝐍𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐢𝐠𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐨 bugsbunny

𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭   𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 bugs𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐢𝐠𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬

Snackaddict:sorry no changes allowed 

Pigtails:  :(

𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Pinkginger: kyouka is that you? and what is this monstrosity 

Band-aid ginger: yah man what is it with us redheads with the name ginger in it😭😭 and Kouyou isn't even ginger?!

DANGER BEWARE: idk ask the two devil themselves @dazaiosamu @ranpoedogawa

Nolongercriminal: bcuz we said so

Snackaddict:  ^

Band-aid ginger:what i got an idea who most of you are now so anyone like to tell us what this is 

Shortginger: it's hell tachihara,HELL

Nolongercriminal: lol

V

Chapter Text

              2:00 am 

《𝐀 𝐬𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚》

𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐬𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

DANGER BEWARE :ranpo you got all of your fucking crumbs on the fucking blanket

Nolongercriminal:  fr pls let us be peace and you keep spilling popcorn all over us its not my problem that misa is annoying you    o{=`^ˊ=}o     ?! 

Snackaddict: idc i hate misa and that other girl  🙄 

Nolongercriminal : ok?not my problem so stop throwing popcorn in my  hair  you're being mean(T^T)

Snackaddict: i'll shove the popcorn up your ass

DANGER BEWARE: wtf ranpo ?!😭

Nolongercriminal: how cruel of you ranpoo 

𝐈𝐟𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Ifboringwashuman:For goodness' sake, go to bed! You three, I can hear you guys all the way from my dorm. I don't need the three of you complaining tomorrow at work that you're tired.

𝐈𝐟𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Shortginger : mackerel

Nolongercriminal:yes chibi? 

Shortginger: shut the fuck up and sleep 

Nolongercriminal: sorry i can do L just died so me, ranpo and yosano are mourning for him :)

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭

𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Crazycatfather: ranpo ,yosano and dazai go to sleep now 

DANGER BEWARE: nah the moment you said that

Crazycatfather : elaborate? 

DANGER BEWARE: dazai is sleep deprived and randomly sleep out of no where  and ranpo cant have an allnighter so yeah they fell asleep   but like they finally are quiet and it's so wholesome 😭😭

DANGER BEWARE : ranpo is asleep on dazai shoulder and dazai head is leaning on ranpo head it's lovely to see them not bicker for once... Just watch in the morning then running away from each other bcuz they cuddled while sleeping 

Crazycatfather: that's good you should go to sleep to yosano work is in  less than 5 hours 

𝐈𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐳𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲

Fukuzawa thinks about his three reckless children,employees: the bandaged brunette, who is always extremely sleep deprived, the ravenette doctor sleeping mostly sleeps late because of her doctor work, and the jet-haired detective who gets his sleep. He sighs behind the screen and considers if this should be a good idea. He doesn't want his other employees thinking he has favorites. He soon makes his decision. 

Fukuzawa :

 The three of you have 4 extra hours of sleep before coming to work and only this once okay please do not repeat going to sleep late on a work night

Yosano

Wait really i promise we wont 

Fukuzawa:

good now sleep ,goodnight yosano 

yosano

Good night Fukuzawa sensei and thx again ! 

𝐅𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐳𝐚𝐰𝐚  𝐚𝐧𝐝  𝐲𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 

However, before going to sleep, Yosano took a sneak picture of the two sleeping detectives, keeping it for blackmail purposes in the future and just because

(I couldn't upload my fan art cuz of issues ot was of ranpo sleeping on dazai shoulder after the movie night so just imagine this )

The couch they're on is nice and big, with a big blanket draped over their whole bodies. Dazai is on the left, with Ranpo in the middle, and Yosano is on the right. The three have popcorn all over their hair, as Ranpo throws it at Dazai for a joke. Ranpo is asleep, with his head leaning on Dazai's and vice versa, and they're practically cuddling (in a platonic sibling way, of course ;3). The room is dark, with the only light coming from the TV brightness reflecting on their faces. However, before Yosano turns off the TV and goes to sleep with Ranpo and Dazai, she first lets out a long yawn. Going to sleep on the couch with them.

Sort of like this but Dazai is asleep, and it's dark, with popcorn everywhere. Sadly, I wasn't able to give you my fanart image :( , but I found this one. Unfortunately, I don't know who made it, so if anyone in the comments section does, please let me know so I can credit them for the example. 

Chapter Text

𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Werid ginger: whats the song that goes like

werid ginger: hoo hoo hoooo

NO Longer human : its more like hoo ooh hoooo 

Band-aid ginger: wtf what kinda song goes like that

Knives🗡:@chuuyanakahara 

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Shortginger:what?

Knives🗡: scroll up a bit

Shortginger : dazai

Nolongercriminal: hoooo  oooohhh hoooooooooooo

Werid ginger : bro more like hoo ho ho hooooo hooooooo

Shortginger: for fucksake dazai shut the fuck up 

Nolongercriminal: hey found it  its called 'waste' tanizaki! hoooooo hahoooooo

Weridginger: wait rlly naomi has been bugging me about that song 😭😭

Ifboringwashuman: you dazai get off your phone and do your job for and tanizaki shouldn't you be in school? Unless i have to talk to you teachers you've been missing classes just to go on your phone.

Werid ginger: no?

Nolongercriminal: Kunikida being a mama at his best (￣∇￣)👌 

Ifboringwashuman: shut the fuck up dazai no one wants to deal with your ass        [at 1:23 pm]

Shortginger: shut the fuck up dazai no one want to deal with your ass                          [at 1:23 pm]

Short ginger: ...

Ifboringwashuman: ...

Nolongercriminal: dont you guys dare, i can't have this  (இдஇ; )

Shortginger: drinks on me 6 sharp.

Ifboringwashuman: I'll be there youve been dealing dazai since his mafias days right?

Shortginger: unfortunately yes... you his new partner? 

Ifboringwashuman: unfortunately...

Shortginger: you and me are gonna get along well!  i have all the shit talk about dazai

Nolongercriminal: no Kunikida what happened to "don't interact with the pm" we had that whole lecture about you telling me not keep this group >:( 

Ifboringwashuman: i can talk to someone whos had to deal with your lazy ass

Nolongercriminal: no this cant be happening @AtsushiNakajima help me @yosanoakiko anyone helppp meeeeeeeeee imm going to be slandered and bulliedeeddd

DANGER BEWARE: and thats a bad thing?

Nolongercriminal: YES IT IS HELP , dont do this to meee  yosanoo i😭😭😭

Furryindisguise: srry dazai you' re on ur own

Nolongercriminal: a-atsushi you too..?

Nolongercriminal: pls someone have mercy on meee

Victorian child : yes sir i will help.

Nolongercriminal: someboddy enddd my painnnnnnn why is no onee helpinggg meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Victorian child: i will help you sir .

Band-aid ginger: i don't think he can hear you bro

Snackaddict: oh he can lmao

Nolongercriminal: omg there planning to do something to mee guys i cant handle the painnn

Victorian child : I'll stop them for you dazai-san !

Nolongercriminal: Atsushi pls i need youuu!!! aren't i ur favourite person in whole wide worlddd

Furryindisguise: and have Kunikida have my ass for helping you escape for the 5th time this week no thx  😄

Nolongercriminal: plss💞

Furryindisguise: no 

Nolongercriminal: plsss sushiiiii my wonderful most favourite student and  friend  helpp me be safe from the evil slug and Kunikida 

Furryindisguise: holy shit wtf Akutagawa what are you doing in dorm and how did you get in my closet ???

Band-aid ginger : why you in your closet?

Nolongercriminal: trying to keep his homo in! so Akutagawa getting him out 

Furryindisguise: what? thats not true ! i just sleep in it.

Band-aid ginger: and thats any better 😭😭???

Furryindisguise: im just giving kyouka space 

Furryindisguise: omg Akutagawa  get off me

Nolongercriminal: ...

Band-aid ginger: ...

Furryindisguise: i didn't mean it like that i mean hes trying to cut my leg off

Band-aid ginger: ayo  thats not what it sounded like hey @grandad you owe me and gin 

Nolongercriminal: anndd meeeeeeeeee

Grandad: it appears so

Knives 🗡 : woo hoo

Furryindisguise: im confused what's the bet?

Nolongercriminal: oh i would tell you dear Atsushi

Nolongercriminal:   BUUT SOMEONE refused to help me and chuuya and Kunikida are this close to demolishing me oh and Kunikida  burned my suicidal manual  

Nolongercriminal: soooooo

Furryindisguise: nvm then don't tell me 

Furryindisguise : dont go there Akutagawa 

Band-aid ginger: ur just making this sound ×10 worse than it appears what u say 😭😭

Nolongercriminal: ^

Furryindisguise:   its not what it seems. i swear it's just Akutagawa threatening me to fight him

Nolongercriminal: @yosanoakiko 

𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Nolongercriminal: what would you say about this situation ma'am 

DANGER BEWARE: cant talk doing a surgery 

Furryindisguise: i thought it was your day off?

DANGER BEWARE : who said it was for work purposes 

Furryindisguise: ...

Furryindisguise: whats that supposed to mean

DANGEROUS BEWARE: i think you know

Furryindisguise: moving on? 🥲

DANGER BEWARE : sure 😇

 Nolongercriminal: lmaoo

shortginger: shut up dazai no one wants to hear anything from you

Nolongercriminal : why is slug being so rude to me >>:((((((

Nolongercriminal : why did you burnded my special sucidal manual  :'(

Shortginger : you have more that one copy of that shitty book 

Ifboringwashuman: he does? 

Shortginger: have you ever taken that book from him

Ifboringwashuman: yes

Shortginger: and but then he still has it

Ifboringwashuman: so thats why

Nolongercriminal: but that one had a special sticker kyouka and kenji gave me

Nolongercriminal: you guys are monsters 

Shortginger : why fuck would you put a sticker the kid gave to you in there

Shortginger: scrap that why would 2 nice children want to give you something 

Nolongercriminal: bcuz im a likeable  person :)

Shortginger: since when? 

Nolongercriminal: always !

Shortginger: more like forcing people to like u 💀

Nolongercriminal : thats it i cannot handle this bullying 

𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Snackaddict : uh oh

Furryindisguise: you've said that before haven't you 

𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐬 3 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 

𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 3 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

  Clown 🤡: HELLO YOU FINALLLLLLLLLLY ADD US DAZAIIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ThePrettyOne:  dazai whats wrong with the names?

GreasyRussianrat : you dont complain sigma

Shortginger: dazai who the fuck are they????

Nolongercriminal: idk?

Chapter Text

clown 🤡: about time u added us!!!!!

russian rat :  Dazai why with the awful names. 

No longer criminal:     for the shits and giggles ᕕ (ᐛ) ᕗ

Baby girl: please tell wtf is my name that monstrosity 

Nolongercriminal: idk

Furryindisguise: dazai who are they

Nolongercriminal:.. idk?

DANGER BEWARE: dumbass.

Nolongercriminal: that hurts my feelings! 😰

DANGER BEWARE: SORRY I MEAN BITCH

Nolongercriminal: >>:(

DANGER BEWARE: .. BIG BABY??

Snackaddict: ha

DANGER BEWARE: you can't talk

Snackaddict: :((

Furryindisguise: can  someone  just please explain who dazai added :/

Kenji : oo Well it says a clown oo I like clowns , he added a rat ... oh they keep stealing Bessie's food. Oh and a baby

Werid ginger : I think he knows that kenji he meant who they are in person not the nicknames dazai gave to them.

Kenji : oh.. but what if it is acually as rat and clown and a little baby?

Weridginger : well kenji how would a rat or a baby be able to type?

Clown : I would say jester 😒

No longer human : bahh jester clown saem thingreally 

Clowns 🤡:

Jester  -------                                

Clown

No longer criminal: i see...

No longer criminal: no difference 

No longer criminal : at all (⚈∇⚈ )

Clowns🤡: one day you'll understand .

DANGER BEWARE : now that I think about it the name rat sounds familiar ?

Furryindisguise: dazai u know Russian people? Or is it a joke?

Nolongercriminal: I eat them .

RussianRat:.. I'm sorry, what?

No longer criminal : nomnom ╰( ^o^)╮╰( ^o^)╮

RussianRat: pardon?

Clown : excuse me thats my job ?

Rat: ..

Rat : I'd preferred if no one ate me 

Nolongercriminal: how boring blah blah

Danger BEWARE: ok that's a time out lets go

No longer criminal: nev4t il neversudorder give it bacsk font takmy p hine jxizlpap

Clowns🤡: deserved 

Short ginger is online

Shortginger: tf just happened ?

Chapter Text

Ifboringwashuman: Dazai get ur ass to work!

Nolongercriminal: I have a fat ass .

DANGER BEWARE : you have no ass. 

Nolongercriminal: 

Ifboringwashuman: dazai there are children in here!

Nolongercriminal : oh shoot, yeah i forgot.

 Nolongercriminal kicked ew out of the groupchat

Nolongercriminal: there! Problem solved :D

DANGER BEWARE:  wait, why was he here????

Dazai: I added him by accident >.< !!

DANGER BEWARE: dumbass why do you even have his number 💀💀 ????

Nolongercriminal: idk? I forgot to change my own number {○w○}

Ifboringwashuman: .. ur telling me, u left the port for two years. And never bothered to change ur number?

Nolongercriminal : well

Nolongercriminal: I guess, yeah?

Ifboringwashuman: Dazai why , just why.

Nolongercriminal: I forgot.. ok !

Weridginger: Says the guy with over 200 iq .

Nolongercriminal: says they guy who dates his sister  :P

Weridginger: WTF!? I do not??

Nolongercriminal: many people here would normally never agree with me .

Nolongercriminal: but this? Oh many of them would .

Furryindisguise is online

Furryindisguise: you are my best friend juni... but

Furryindisguise: you and naomi got someone werid going on. Really weird. 

Weridginger: how could you.

weridginger: out of all the people here, I would have never guess it would be you

Nolongercriminal: @everyone

DANGERBEWARE: uh

DANGERBEWARE: damn that some hardship you've got going tanizaki.

Bandaid ginger: wait... that chick is your sister?

Bandaid ginger: why .. bro why I though us gingers were better that that 😟

Weridginger: what

Bandaid ginger: you are a disgrace of a ginger. 

Bandaid ginger: you aren't one of us.. you'll never be.

Weridginger: stop, what are you saying?

Weridginger: I don't even know what your going on about.

Nolongercriminal: yeah tanizaki! how could you betray ur ginger buddy like that. Don't you gingers stick together or something.

weridginger: dude that's like saying don't all brunettes stick together.

Nolongercriminal: idk how would i know

Weridginger : what.

weridginger: you're literally-

weridginger: you know what! I don't actually care 

weridginger: I can't deal with anymore.

weridginger  is offline

Nolongercriminal: whys he so mad? _(._.)__

Ifboringwashuman :I wonder why.

Chapter Text

Lemonbowls : my butt got shot.

Short ginger: if I could I would shoot dazai. 

DANGER BEWARE: in his ass?

shortginger: WTF? no I meant in his forehead 

Nolongercriminal: you have...

Nolongercriminal: plus shooting my ass? it wouldn't work.

DANGER BEWARE: im gonna regret questioning this aren't i. 

DANGER BEWARE: but explain what the hell you mean ?

Nolongercriminal : it would just bounce off 

DANGER BEWARE: tf.

Shortginger: Dazai. This is why nobody is ever online.

Furryindisguise: why, dazai. Just why.

 Nolongercriminal: I told you guys earlier. 

Nolongercriminal : I have a fat ass

DANGER BEWARE: Dazai, sweetheart.

DANGER BEWARE: I've already explained this to you earlier.

DANGER BEWARE: and I say this in a place of love <3

...

DANGER BEWARE: What ass?

Nolongercriminal: ;-;

Nolongercriminal: ... how could you yosano

Nolongercriminal is offline

Ifboringwasaperson is online

Ifboringwashuman: not that I care

Ifboringwashuman: but could someone explain to me when dazai was slacking off on his mobile phone why did he  throw this phone across the room and ran out the agency crying.

DANGER BEWARE: HELP WHAT.

DANGER BEWARE: SCROLL UP. 

DANGER BEWARE: darn.. I wish I saw that

Russianrat: what. 

DANGER BEWARE : ew a lurker

Band-aid ginger: I'm not a lurker. but despite there being over 20 people on this group. Only 4 people are online , and this server is always making me buy a new phone.

Kni ves🗡 is online

DANGER BEWARE: Hoe, this is the second time I've heard this. How old is your phone.

knives🗡: old.

knives🗡: Really old. When he says buy a new phone that bitch disappears and gets it fixed in a few minutes. 

knives 🗡: don't know where that dumbass is fixing it. I'm trying to get him to get a new phone.

NoLongercriminal is online 

Nolongercriminal: giggles. Its like he has an ability that can manipulate metal so he jams it all back into place! cuz he can't be asked to buy a new phone since he wants to be different. 

DANGER BEWARE: 1) that's oddly specific 

DANGER BEWARE: 2) Hoe where'd you cry off to

Nolongercriminal: ...

Nolongercriminal: gin did that overhaul looking guy  hear what I said.

Knives 🗡: yeah? Me and gramps are with him. He's acting weird but when is he not.

band-aid ginger: pft this guys is hilarious me? Have an ability? Manipulate metal? Funny. But I obviously  don't.

knives🗡: see what I mean? He's such a shit liar. But whatever I guess.

DANGER BEWARE: Dude.. did u just ignore me?

Nolongercriminal: gin ur friend is odd

Band aid ginger: and you're not? Everytime I look at this chat you're always saying the most revolting things. That i might just leave.

Nolongercriminal: you're a ginger. 

Nolongercriminal: All ginger are weird.

Bandaid ginger: okay wow.

Bandaid ginger: I'd call chuuya and ur ginger from the agency . But they clearly have know nothing about the ginger pact.

DANGER BEWARE: can't believe I'm saying this but at this moment dazai seems more normal .

DANGER BEWARE: Dazai?

Clown 🤡  is online

Clown 🤡: Dazai said he's not speaking to you.

DANGER BEWARE: Who tf r u?

Clown 🤡 : Dazai cussed at you and wishes you dead for not knowing who is best friend is. Even when we've been through who we are.

Nolongercriminal: ok dazai did not say that. Sigma.

DANGER BEWARE : OK sorry . But pls dazai wtf r u watching children brain rot .

DANGER BEWARE: Don't tell me u r a youtube shorts guy 

Snackaddict is online 

snackaddict: ...

snackaddict: what's wrong with that. Not that I am one or smth.

clown 🤡: Ha! you seeing this sigma?

DANGER BEWARE: WHAT. I DONT GET IT. WHAT SIGMA . STOP SAYING SIGMA

Baby girl: I'm sigma

DANGER BEWARE: Wtf? i thought u were the normal one out of dazais other terroist friends.

Baby girl: what? No that's my name.

Baby girl: stop laughing nikolai and dazai it's not funny.

DANGER BEWARE : HELP WHAT ?!

DANGER BEWARE: who named u sigma

baby girl: can we not ? I got dazai bugging me about this 24/7

DANGER BEWARE: IM SORRY. BUT WITH THAT NAME I DONT EVEN BLAME DAZAI

Snackaddict: your names goated.

Nolongercriminal: somebody tell nikolai to stop smacking everything in sight when he laughs.

Nolongercriminal: I literally just ran away from an aggressive laugher.. {•-•}

DANGER BEWARE: I SAID IM SORRY . HOW MUCH TIMES DO U WANT ME TO SAY IT

Nolongercriminal: apology not accepted.

DANGER BEWARE: hey atleast were talking? That's a start?

Russianrat: he's done so by mistake. Go find a new friend, he's not coming back for quite some time.

DANGER BEWARE: shut it greasy. 

Nolongercriminal: only listen to the first sentence, these guys are adding other stuff I'm not saying.

Nolongercriminal: Sigma speak for me.

Baby girl: for fucksake.

Baby girl: fine. Dazai said he'll come back to the agency if you buy him a life time supply  of crabs.

DANGER BEWARE: crabs? Ok, whatever fine by me I guess.

russianrat: I could buy you crab from every store  you could imagine.

Nolongercriminal: shut it hoe. Good bye you suck.

clown 🤡:  don't leave yet we haven't done our nails yet.

Nolongercriminal: I'm coming back. AFTER THIS VERY SERIOUS SESSION!

DANGER BEWARE: ... 

DANGER BEWARE: @weridsister

Weridsister is online

weridsister: heh?

Weridsister: EH?!

Weridsister: Dazai-san . I've tried to convince you so many time to let me do your nails! This not fair. I thought you didn't like it or something. This really upsets me.. to find out you're getting your nails done by a ... a goddamn Clown! What?!

weridsister: ...this is not fair dazai-san do you not like my designs!!

Nolongercriminal: no...  its just kunikida.. hates on me for it.. heh..heh... he doesn't get it... so I just didn't want him to find out you did it for me... he'd get so mad.. cuz he... just hates me having pretty nails...

snackaddict is online

Snackaddict: quit lying i can literally smell it from here. 

weridsister: I'm upset

snackaddict: Ok brother lover.

weridsister: what? How's that an insult should i hate my brother? 

snackaddict: get out. 

Chapter Text

Shortginger: I have so much money.

Shortginger: I'm flexing on your broke asses.

Nolongercriminal: hey remember that time I gave you a pen

Nolongercriminal: (=^・^=)

Nolongercriminal: *bats eyelashes*

Shortginger: oh, yeah.  I don't remember. 

Nolongercriminal:  oh wow. 

Nolongercriminal: ofc you forgot. Ofc you have short term memory .

Shortginger: don't. you. dare. say. it.

Nolongercriminal: bcuz

Nolongercriminal: you're...

Shortginger: don't you dare finish that sentence. 

Nolongercriminal: your lack of height is linked to the brain cells you contain . Which probably is why you can remember even remember one simple event thst took place... which was...the day I left you a pen! which was the key to why we had such good partnership!

Shortginger: what

Nolongercriminal: what?

Nolongercriminal: is your ugly hat blocking you from growing or thinking . Pick one bro

Shortginger: stfu you damn mackerel. 

DANGER BEWARE is online

DANGER BEWARE: quit flirting on the chat and help us you stupid bitch @nolongercriminal

Nolongercriminal: no i refuse.

Snackaddict: to not be gay for once?

Nolongercriminal: what no.

Nolongercriminal: Wait no I mean I'm not even gay man.

DANGER BEWARE: OK nobody cares . Just fucking help you lazy ass hoe.

Nolongercriminal: ok now I'm not helping ! You called me mean names... 

shortginger: wtf r u guys even on about.

Nolongercrimnal: oh. I actually don't even know. 

shortginger: I actually don't even care anymore. I got better shit to do.

Clown 🤡: hey zai help me out here, 

Nolongercriminal: oki doki ^^

snackaddict changed nolongercrimnal into zai_closet_is_glass

snackaddict: OK wow I see the favouritism clear now

DANGERBEWARE: What did u expect? This is dazai were talking about

DANGERBEWARE: So unloyal

snackaddict: fr

snackaddict: especially with all the things we've done for him

zai_closet_is_glass: wtf is this ass name

snackaddict: suits u

zai_closet_is_glass: I regret giving u admin

snackaddcit: not my fault ur a gay 

zai_closet_is_glass: bro u literally have that American raccoon guy all over u .

zai_closet_is_glass: ur more gay than I'd ever be.

zai_closet_is_glass: which I'm not.

snackaddict:  me and poe aren't gay 

zai_closet_is_closet: see how u thought about him so quick? even though I gave him an ass description 

snackaddict: stfu atleast mines just one guy and not the whole population living In yokohama like u

zai_closet_is_glass: oh pls like who 🙄

snackaddict: u really want me to name it ? Fine since u insist

•kunikida

•fancy hat

•dostvoyosky 

•that Clown guy

•that casino guy

zai_closet_is_glass: kuni ... he'd never love me... our love is one sided 💔🥀

zai_closet_is_glass: and gross I'd never go for chuuya. I've got standards

snackaddict: see that dazai, see  how u were so quick to think it was nakahara with that ass description. 

zai_closet_is_glass: kys

snackaddict: im not u

zai_closet_is_glass: u know what I'm asexuak new day new sexuality from here forth I will be asex 😝 😝 😆 #grindset nor horny thoughts from me 😇 #angel #pure

snackaddict: bitch   ur whore ass could not last not being horny any second.

Shortginger: I regret leaving notifications on for this cursed group chat

Ifboringwashuman: took the words right out of my mouth.

zai_closet_is_glass: what's wrong with this chat?

zai_closet_is_glass: there's nothing bad there.

zai_closet_is_glass: just  spreading hope, positivity, and kindness! 

zai_closet_is_glass: and let's not forget- words of wisdom.

Shortginger: . . .

Shortginger: You are the reason for my regret

zai_closet_is_glass: so mean 

zai_closet_is_glass: I want to die

zai_closet_is_glass: alone

Clown 🤡: u want to die? Alone. You still haven't even helped me yet. 

zai_closet_is_glass: leave me alone I genuinely didn't even care

Snackaddict: u forgot to help akiko too

zai_closet_is_glass: I didn't forget.  I just didn't give af

snackaddict: whys bro acting so serious

zai_closet_is_glass: I'm not.

Snackaddict: stop how did u switch up moods so fast 😭😭

zai_closet_is_glass: what r u talking about. 

snackaddict: nvm I don't even have the energy for this I'm too hungry 

zai_closet_is_glass: when is ur fatass not hungry 

snackaddict: Stop acting like that 😭

snackaddict: @everyone go help this guy out I can't be bothered .

zai_closet_is_glass: fuck u.